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2jaeh · 3 years ago

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ORPHIC : YUTA X READER

genre: smut, angst

warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys.

slight jenoxreader

word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)

author: sin!

You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else.

A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy.

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You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?

Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.

You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.

Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.

You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.

Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.

And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.

Yuta Nakamoto.

————————————————————————

“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.

“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.

Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.

“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.

“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.

“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”

“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,

“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”

You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.

“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.

Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.

Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.

Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.

So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.

From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.

Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.

“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head. “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.

“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.

“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.

“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”

Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,

“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”

Move on.

Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.

The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.

Unbearable.

You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.

“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.

Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.

———————————————————————-

It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’

“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight” Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”

“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.

“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.

“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.

“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”

You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.

There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.

“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.

“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.

Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.

“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.

“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”

“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”

Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.

“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.

A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.

“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.

Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”

“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”

“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.

You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.

Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.

The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.

“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.

“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”

“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.

“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”

Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.

————————————————————————

Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.

“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.

“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.

“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”

“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.

The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.

“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.

“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.

“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.

“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”

“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”

Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”

“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”

“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.

“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.

“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”

“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.

“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.

“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.

“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table. “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.

But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.

You needed to snap out of this daydream.

“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”

“Hmm ?”

Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.

“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”

You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.

Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.

“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?

“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”

“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.

Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.

“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.

“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.

“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really not in the mood to talk to him about this. Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.

“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”

Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.

Nothing made sense.

————————————————————————

The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.

Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.

“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.

“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-

“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.

“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?

“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,

“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”

You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?

“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.

“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.

You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.

“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.

“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?

Were you going to do anything ?

You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.

“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.

“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.

“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.

“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.

“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.

“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.

It was Lee Jeno.

“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.

“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.

“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.

You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.

“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”

You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.

Absolute silence.

———————————————————————

It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.

Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.

‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.

Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.

“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”

“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.

Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.

Great.

You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.

“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.

“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.

“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.

“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”

“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.

“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.

Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.

The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.

“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.

The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.

And somehow that felt even worse.

“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.

“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”

Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.

“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”

“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.

“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”

“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled, “What are you morons doing ?!”

You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.

“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.

“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.

“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear. “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.

Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.

You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.

“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.

“Y/n ?”

“Yeah?”

Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.

First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.

“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.

“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.

You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.

“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”

“Do…you mind…”

You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.

You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.

“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.

“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“

Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.

“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”

You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.

“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.

You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.

“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.

“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?

The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.

Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.

You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.

Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.

“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.

You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.

What the fuck did you just do ?

“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”

You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”

“Do you like me ?”

“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”

“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”

“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.

“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”

Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.

“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“

“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”

“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.

You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.

————————————————————————-

“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.

“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.

“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”

“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.

Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.

He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.

“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.

“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”

“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”

You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”

Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.

“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”

You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.

Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.

“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.

“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”

“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.

“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”

“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.

Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.

The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.

“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.

“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.

“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”

Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”

“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.

“Listen Johnny we-“

“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”

“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself. Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?

That’s all it was and ever was right ?

You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.

“I’m not in love with y/n.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.

You needed Yu-

“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.

You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.

“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.

“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.

“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.

“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.

It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.

You.

“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.

“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.

Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.

You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.

“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.

Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.

“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.

“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.

“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.

But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.

“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.

“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,

You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,

“Show me I'm yours, baby.”

You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.

Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.

You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.

“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.

“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.

“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.

“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.

Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,

“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.

Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.

Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.

Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.

“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.

“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.

“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.

“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.

Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.

“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.

“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked. You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?

“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.

“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.

“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”

“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“

Another setting higher.

“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.

“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”

You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.

“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.

“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.

“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.

It was all wrong.

You and him loved each other.

Fuck. He loved you. He really did.

Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.

You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.

You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.

“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“I love you y/n”

Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.

Johnny was right.

“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.

“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.

“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,

“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”

“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,

“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.

Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“Yuta..”

“What ?”

“Stay with me.”

—-—————————————————————

You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.

“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.

“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,

“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.

“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.

“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”

Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.” Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.

“Give me a week”

“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.

“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”

“Yuta”

“Hmm?”

You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.

“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”

————————————————————————

It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.

You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.

When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.

You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.

But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?

All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.

“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.

“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.

“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.

“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.

Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.

y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.

yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.

You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.

y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.

yutaa: maybe.

y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.

yutaa: oh really ?

You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable that you decided to bend the rules a little.

yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.

y/n: maybe.

The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.

————————————————————————

The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.

“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.

“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.

“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.

“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.

“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.

“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”

Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.

“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.

“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.

“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”

“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,

“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”

You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”

“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.

“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”

“Tell that to him then”

You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.

Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”

Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.

“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”

“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”

“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.

“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”

“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”

“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”

“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”

“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.

“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”

“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”

“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,

“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.

“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.

The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.

“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.

“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.

“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.

Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.

“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.

The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.

“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.

“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.

“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.

“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”

“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.

“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.

“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”

THE END

#yuta smut #yuta nakamoto #yuta x you #nct yuta #nct smut #nct 127 smut #yuta angst #nct scenarios #jeno angst #lee jeno angst #nct angst #nct dream angst #2jaeh masterlist

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transformers-fan-continuities · 3 years ago

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Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf created by @artsy-hobbitses!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place.

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society.

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower‘s OC Missit!) is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

#long post #gore #ties that bind #spotlight #transformers #HUMANFORMERS #transformers au #tf original continuity #transformers fan continuity #transformers redesign #maccadam #i said id post this on sunday but i realize thats a holiday for lots of folks on this site :/

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cicissketchbook · 3 years ago

Text

Y’all wanna read my Apritello story?

So sometimes when my artistic drive is down, the writing bug will come bite me. I’ve been working on an Apritello story for awhile that currently has three chapters that are up on my Patreon. Eventually I’ll post it publicly, but I want my patrons to have early access. Anyway here’s an excerpt from the first chapter.

It’s kind of angsty.

The summary is, April invites Donnie to join her for a long weekend at the farmhouse, which sounds romantic until you consider that she’s been plagued with visions of his accidental death and is desperate to stop it from happening.

To say there was tension in the air was a drastic understatement. Truthfully, things had been tense for a while. Blame it on cabin fever, or perhaps they were outgrowing their sewer lair, but the brothers had been quick to jump down each other’s throats.

Leo was especially on edge, and not unlike how it had been since they were kids, his mood had set the tone for everyone else. One thing that differed from childhood though, was that he had been butting heads with Donnie, while Raph remained a mostly neutral third party.

There was the knowledge that they were getting older and they all had desires to get out there and live their own lives, and then the realization that doing so wasn’t really possible for them in the world they lived in. They wanted what any young adults would want, but they were mutants. The world still saw them as freaks. They couldn’t lead normal lives the way they wanted to. They knew this, they had known this all their lives. They had all been on the same page about it. They realized that living their lives in the sewer, at least most of it, was probably in the cards. April had always contested this idea, believing that the world would accept them in time. It’s not like people didn’t know mutants existed, but the turtles weren’t willing to take the risk. It’s not like they couldn’t go out and do things like they always had, but leaving the nest for good just wasn’t feasible. And they were content with this. The sewer was all they’d ever known. They’d always been together and they were happy to always be together.

But like all families, arguments were inevitable. Familiarity breeds contempt, after all. And they were accustom to bickering. But… it was different now. Leo seemed ready to explode at the drop of a pen, Raph never seemed to be able to find enough alone time, Donnie felt like he brought more to the table than the other three combined, and Mikey… sweet Mikey was such an incurable optimist that he sought to find the positive in every situation, but they knew he did this to mask his depression.

If asked what they were arguing about today, the simple answer would be that they were all just getting on each other’s nerves. Donnie couldn’t even remember how the argument started because they fought about trivial things so frequently, but he remembered the thing that Leo said that set him off.

“God, why is it so hard for you to just do your part? Why do we have to pick up your slack?”

Donnie was silent for a moment, almost unsure he’d heard correctly. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you never fucking help out with anything!” Leo’s tone implied that there was something else he was upset about that he wasn’t speaking of.

Donnie, by his best effort, kept his voice calm and composed. “I’m sorry, are you referring to three days ago when I didn’t help clean up the disaster in the kitchen because I was literally putting the microwave back together? Or perhaps last week when you left a mess for me to clean up that you all made while I wasn’t even here? And then you got mad when I didn’t?”

Leo seemed to get more aggravated at the mention of Donnie not being there, but continued on. “C’mon man, there are four of us that live here, it’s really not asking too much for everyone to help clean up around here.”

“Dude, I clean up after myself more than anyone. The difference is, when I make a mess, it’s in my lab rather than communal space and-“

“Oh, right, I forgot. The huge space you have that’s your’s. That none of us have.” Leo turned to their other brothers who sat near by. “Hey Raph, other than your tiny bedroom, do you have your own creative space that you can do whatever you want in? Mikey, how about you?”

Raph hadn’t spoken, but seemed invested in the exchange his brothers were having. It was impossible to tell who’s side he was on. Before Mikey could speak, Raph stopped him and said firmly, “Leave us out of this, man.”

“So now your mad at me… because of my lab?”

Leo paused, not making eye contact, before he huffed. “No.” He admitted quietly.

Normally, Donnie was used to these arguments making little or no sense, but Leo seemed genuinely angry and he couldn’t understand why.

“Bro, what is up?” He demanded. “Why are you actually so upset?”

“I just…” Leo started. Donnie could tell there was something he didn’t want to say. Leo crossed his arms and turned away from his brother. “I just want to know… where your priorities are.”

“My priorities?” Donnie was trying not to lose his patience. He had no idea where this was coming from nor where it was going. Which meant one of two things. Either there was something his brother wasn’t telling him, or this was in fact going no where. Like, this had started out a fight about cleaning duties, and now he’s talking about priorities. If Leo did have a point, he wanted him to hurry up and make it because this argument seemed like a waste of time.

“It just…” Leo blew another huff through his nose. “It just seems like… you are… distancing yourself from us, Donnie.”

This statement completely threw Don for a loop. He hadn’t expected that at all. “What in the world are you talking about?” He asked, truly bewildered by the turn in conversation. “Because I don’t want to clean up messes that aren’t mine? Like what the hell-?”

“No, obviously it’s not that. It’s alot of things.” Leo spoke quieter now, not as impassioned.

“Well, I would love to know what those things are, because I am completely lost here.”

“You never want to hang out with us anymore, and when you do, you act like you’d rather be doing anything else-“

Donnie cut him off with a humorless chuckle. “We’re brothers, we all get on each other’s nerves.”

“And I get that, but we do all still live together and we all need to contribute to the household chores, and you’ve just been acting like you are so far above doing any type of housework that doesn’t directly effect you.”

“Well, excuse me Leo, sorry if when it rains and the power get knocked out and I have to go topside by myself in the cold pouring rain to fix the power line, I don’t also want to have to mop up the leak in the kitchen when none of you did anything to help!”

“Okay, you keep bring up specific instances, but I’m talking about in general-“

“No, you’re talking alot of nonsense is what you’re doing!” Donnie’s lack of patience was starting to show. “First you’re mad that you think I don’t clean enough, then you’re mad that I have a lab and you don’t? Then you say I’m distancing myself from you all…?” Donnie stood and made a move like he was going to walk away. “If you have something to say, Leo, you better just say it because this whole conversation seems like a waste of time to me. It’s late and I’m tired, so make your point, or I’m going to bed.”

“Are you distancing yourself from us because of April?”

Donnie had already started walking away, as he didn’t expect Leo to actually have a point, so he was halted to a standstill at his words. “What does she have to do with anything?”

Leo looked away again, like he didn’t actually want to have this conversation. After a moment, he sighed and continued without making eye contact. “It just seems like… I mean… I thought we were all on the same page here. We’ve had this discussion, a long time ago. We aren’t…. Human. We’re getting older and it makes sense that we’d want to start living our own lives, but… we can’t. Not really. The world doesn’t accept us, so staying down here is just how it has to be. I thought we had agreed on that. That no matter what the world thought of us, no matter that we can’t lead normal lives, at least we all had each other. But… now it seems like you have other plans, Donnie.”

He finally looked at his brother and Donnie could see the emotions in his eyes. Nothing of what he said had been new information, of course. Donnie knew, painfully well, that the world saw them as freaks and being “normal” was not a luxury they’d ever be able to have. Alot of their friends were at the point where they were starting to branch off, which didn’t help. Karai and Shinigami were currently back in Japan. It was just a visit, but the kind of visit that lasted for a month or two. Casey had gotten a hockey scholarship for a different school than the one April attended. He was trying to go pro, so he poured all his time and attention into practicing. He still came around, but not like he used to. Mona Lisa had left Earth awhile ago, also with promise to return, but they hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks. They were sure it was just a new mission she had, but that didn’t make Raph feel any better. April was the only one who still came around all the time. With most of their enemies gone, everyone was moving on and it felt like the world didn’t need them anymore.

The pain in Leo’s voice would’ve normal made Donnie want to hug him, but it was the accusation that he couldn’t get over.

“Leo…” He gestured non threateningly with his hands. “Why are you acting like I’m not literally living down here in the sewers right along with you? And I still don’t see what April has to do with anything-”

“Okay, I’m going to jump in here.” Raph said unexpectedly. “Look, Dude, I know we don’t… we don’t say it enough but… we would be up schitts creek without a paddle without you.” He crossed the room to give Leo a lighthearted punch in the arm. “Wouldn’t we, Leo?”

“…Yeah.”

“So because of that, the idea of you leaving is…. It’s scary.” Raph admitted. He was going to say something else, but Donnie interrupted.

“I’m not going anywhere! What in the actually hell are you guys talking about?!”

Leo rolled his eyes, apparently getting annoyed again. “Don, can we please stop pretending like you’re not going to marry April and then move in with her?”

Donnie froze. To say they touched a nerve was an understatement. April was his best friend, but truthfully, it was very painful to be her friend sometimes. His feelings for her were still just as intense as ever, but for different reason now. In his youth, he’d maintained a kind of innocent hopefulness that they would someday be together, and he never even really thought of the details of how. He knew, even back then, that it wasn’t that simple and when he really thought about it, nothing about it made sense. Which is why he didn’t think about it. Now though, after some soul searching and dropping into a deep depression which he was starting to get better from, he’d resigned himself to the reality that she would never be with him. He’d accepted it, and told himself that it was enough to just be her friend. But the truth was, that pain never went away. They had such a close friendship, they had developed such a level of comfort with each other, but he knew it would never be enough. The idea of never seeing her again was unbearable, but to be so close to her, knowing that it was as close as he would ever get… it was torture. He didn’t care though, he just couldn’t let her go.

What really hurt was when she would talk about the next stage in her life. She was in school now, but with her grades and what she was studying, she could go anywhere. She wanted to travel, she spoke of it often. She never made any committal remarks about moving away, other than when she talked about the farmhouse and saying how expensive it is to live in the city. Her dad had signed the property over to her for tax reasons, and she would’ve inherited it anyway. She wanted to renovate it.

He was only vaguely aware that Raph and Leo were still talking.

“It’s not like we’re mad at you for finding love, that’s not it at all!” Raph was saying, obviously more concerned than Leo about ruffling his brother’s feathers. “It’s just, we need to be realistic about what would happen if you weren’t here.”

“Yeah, and the reality is, frankly, I think we all feel left behind by our friends, but we didn’t think our clan would be breaking up as well!” Leo threw his hands up, finally letting his true feelings out. “I mean, all we have is each other, we’re the last of the Hamato clan! I can’t let this clan die, I just can’t.”

“Why do you guys feel the need to do that?”

They stopped, taken aback by how low and serious Donnie’s voice was. He was done barking, he looked ready to bite.

“Do what?”

Donnie’s chest felt tight and he had to taken in a sharp breath through his nose to keep his cool. “Why do you guys feel the need to not only remind me of my unrequited feelings for my… our best friend… but now, you’re holding it against me?”

Raph looked concerned at first, but then sighed. “Donnie, c’mon, don’t act like you wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get out of here. April isn’t going to stay in New York forever.”

The statement, while probably true, hurt to hear. “What does that have to do with me?” He said, quieter this time. “I can’t help what April does.”

“Dude, she is literally planning her future with you in it. Have you not noticed that?” Leo nearly screamed. “You have the opportunity to get out of here and do something with your life, and we’ll be-“

“No she’s not!” Donnie shouted back. “Are you guys smoking crack or something? Don’t say that shit to me! April doesn’t…” He paused, his words getting caught in his throat. “April doesn’t want me. I thought we’d been over this.”

Mikey, who hadn’t yet spoke, immediately picked up on how much pain Donnie was in. “Hey guys, let’s just drop it, yeah?”

Leo pressed on as if his youngest brother hadn’t spoken. “Maybe she didn’t five years ago, but she sure as shit does now.” He didn’t seem bothered by Donnie visible cringe. “I mean, dude, you’ve spent the night, alone at her house.”

“So has Mikey. And Raph once, I think.” Donnie said quietly, and Raph nodded in confirmation. “And she’s spent the night here a billion times, that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Mikey and Raph didn’t sleep in her bed.” Leo said accusingly.

“I did.”

They all paused and turned to the youngest brother. Raph spoke. “You did?”

“Every time I go over there, I sleep in her bed.” Mikey said matter-o-factly. “Whenever… whenever I’m sad, she let’s me come over and… she’ll listen. She doesn’t try to offer solutions, she doesn’t try and tell me things to make me feel better, she just… listens. And that’s what helps me the most. Then we watch funny videos.”

None of them commented at first. They all knew Mikey struggled with depression, but he rarely, if ever, talked about it. They all had told him at some point that they were there if he needed to talk, but he never came to any of them. One might of thought that hearing that his brother shared a bed with April might make Donnie jealous, but quite the opposite, it made him very happy and appreciative to hear about it. It made sense that Mikey would be more comfortable talking to April than to any of them, and to know that she had been there for him was comforting. Donnie wanted that for his brother.

“See?” He said finally, more to Leo than anyone else. “April… she’s there for all of us. She cares about all of us… I’m not special.”

“Donnie, don’t say that.” Mikey offered and rose from his seat to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Donnie placed his own hand over Mikey’s and squeezed it, staring at the floor. “She cares about you the most. More than you know.”

“Mikey, please, please don’t.” He said through his teeth. “I can’t… I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation right now. You know how long it took me to accept the fact that I was kidding myself by thinking there could ever be something between us? Of course you guys know, which is why it is so baffling to me that you feel the need to do this.”

“So if April wanted you to move away with her, you wouldn’t do it?”

Raph punched Leo in the arm again. It was a strange thing, to see Raph scold Leo for being insensitive. Donnie had had enough though.

“I’m out of here.” He turned on his heel and heading towards the turnstiles.

...............

Yes, it’s NSFW, of course it is.

#TMNT 2012 #apritello #donatello #leonardo #raphael #michelangelo #mikey #raph #leo #donnie #apriltello #tmnt #fanfiction

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hopelessly-me · 3 years ago

Note

Spooky prompt: avengers pumpkin carving contest

LISA HI! Omg- this one turned into feelings. I was originally going to write it to be a silly, crack type fic but then... my brain decided feelings had to be had. So here is some Bucky and Clint (with the team) goodness, and I hope you enjoy. (1689 word count)

If y'all want to send me spooky season themed prompts, I'm still open to doing them. =)

“Going to join in?” Clint asked Bucky, tilting his head over to the layers of plastic wrap on the floor constructed in a large circle, pumpkins all around.

“I… don’t know,” Bucky answered honestly.

“I’ll save you a spot, just in case,” Clint said with a wink before he walked over to the group that was assembling. Clint placed his forearm and elbow on Bruce’s shoulder, looking at the scientist and smiling.

“You know… it might not be a bad thing if you tried,” Steve pointed out. Bucky nearly jumped, not expecting Steve so close. “If you want, you can help me with my pumpkin.”

“I think I should sit this one out,” Bucky said.

He knew Steve wouldn’t push. None of them would. It was only a few months since Bucky had started his stay at the Tower and there were just some things he wasn’t ready to do just yet. Going out on Avenger mission, training with them- even holding knives could make him start to panic a little, worry that something, somewhere, deep within him would come back out. He couldn’t shake the idea that the Soldier sometimes had more control than Bucky did, and it was terrifying.

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Steve said, patting his shoulder before he walked by. “Alright guys- ready?” he asked. “FRIDAY, are you taping this?” Steve asked.

“Of course, Captain,” the AI system said.

“Alright guys, Rules for the annual Avengers pumpkin carving contest. You may only use the tools in front of you. No additional knives, no lasers- nothing.” Bucky was pretty sure Tony pouted. “We have one hour to recreate the pumpkin that auto generates on the screen. Whoever wins gets the entire month of November off from training. All agreed?”

“Agreed,” was the common response.

“Alright then. FRIDAY, the count down please,” Steve said.

A handful of months and slowly Bucky was learning about the people who stayed in the Tower nearly full time. He knew who he could go to when he needed to get his mind off of things, and who he could sit with when he just needed some quiet time. He knew who was up for the most fun, and who would really rather be alone themselves without someone nearby. But it seemed like no matter how they liked to live their lives, everyone came together for these monthly “family night” events and would just… breathe. They would all find enjoyment out of each other’s quirks and sometimes those moments transcended into their daily lives.

Still- Bucky wasn’t ready to be fully involved yet. He was still working out if he felt like he deserved it, which was harder when Tony became visibly worried of Bucky’s presence in the room, especially if he was around knives. And while Bucky knew he couldn’t take the blame for things he didn’t have control over, that didn’t mean he couldn’t take the emotions from it and hold them close.

He walked around the room and watched as everyone worked on their pumpkins. He was beginning to see who were the artistic types and who wasn’t solely based on how well their Haunted Houses turned out. Natasha might not be the best artistically but she was by the far the best with wielding a knife, although Clint was a close second. Steve was arguably the best artistically, Sam fairly good himself, but neither of them could wield the tools in front of them quite like Clint and Natasha.

“Hey,” Clint said, looking up from his pumpkin with a smile.

“Hey. Having fun?” Bucky asked.

“Eh. It’s pumpkin carving,” Clint answered honestly. “Wanna sit?” he asked. Bucky couldn’t see the harm of sitting there, so he did. “Spooky season. How do you feel about it?”

“Well.. at one time in my life I would say that there wasn’t a point to it because monsters weren’t really,” Bucky answered. “Now… that’s a hard argument to make.”

“No joke,” Clint muttered.

“What about you?” Bucky asked.

“I love everything Halloween,” Clint answered. “Magic might not be my favorite thing, but I like everything else. Corn mazes, hayrides, pumpkin spiced everything.” He was leaning over, the back of his shirt riding up as he did so. “But growing up in the circus- you get to see Halloween every day. I used to hate it for the longest time because the season reminded me of my life before SHIELD and the Avengers. Now I can kind of separate the two and go back to loving the season again. Haunted houses and all.”

Bucky knew there was a point to this conversation. Clint didn’t open up about his life before SHIELD to anyone without there being a reason. So when Bucky didn’t answer, Clint looked over at him and held the smallest of the knives out to him. Bucky looked down at his hand, covered in chipped away pumpkin and tiny little scars before he looked back up.

“You can still hate what they put you through. But you get to decide how to move forward and what you get to love again. And maybe carving pumpkins can be one of those things,” Clint said. “Your choice though.”

Bucky nodded and took the tool out of Clint’s hand and pulled the pumpkin over between them. “Never carved one before,” he admitted. “At least not that I can remember.”

“That’s okay, my pumpkin looks like shit anyway,” Clint replied.

Bucky turned it around and snorted. “Did you even try to make this a haunted house?” Bucky asked, looking at the stars and the arrows Clint had etched into the pumpkin.

“Nah. Not with the shit food I eat all the time. I need that training in my life,” Clint answered with a grin. He scooted closer to Bucky and set the rest of the tools between them. “Your move, Barnes.”

The hour passed much too quickly before the fake air horn sounded. Bucky startled and looked at the others before he looked down at the pumpkin in front of him. Arrows and stars, a moon, planets, swirls- the pumpkin he shared with Clint looked like a mess of anything and everything they could think of. Bucky glanced up at Clint, who was all smiles, leaning over and talking to Sam, checking out his pumpkin and laughing. Bucky looked back at the pumpkin and the tools that were set between them.

“You alright?” Natasha asked.

Bucky looked over, Natasha leaned over his way in one of those rare moments she was willing to extend the olive branch, just a little. “Yeah- I’m alright,” Bucky admitted, finally setting that small tool Clint had handed over down. “I… think we might have lost the contest,” he admitted.

“If it makes you feel better… Steve always wins,” Natasha said before she leaned back and away.

Each pumpkin was turned around when Steve called out to them. Thor looked mighty proud of his attempt, which wasn’t half bad if it wasn’t for the fact that half of the house looked like it had toppled over due to a misplaced cut. Tony’s and Bruce’s looked almost exactly alike- both simple in form, but to the point- Bucky wondered if it was because they could look at blueprints and space things out easily. Natasha and Sam’s looked like completely failed attempts, just like Wanda and Vision’s attempt, but none of them seemed to care.

“Alright you two- how did it go?” Steve asked, looking at Clint and Bucky.

“Ta-da!” Clint said loudly, proud of their work as he turned the pumpkin around. “I am calling this one- friendship!”

“Wow. Masterful art piece. We should encase it,” Tony taunted with a smile. “It’s very early childhood-esque. It make you feel-”

“Ew, don’t museum me. That’s what Steve is for in real museums,” Clint scolded playfully.

“Did you even attempt a haunted house anywhere in that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Who would do haunted houses when you can do arrows?” Clint asked. He sighed dreamily and let himself fall back, Bucky’s arm reaching out quickly to prevent him from hitting the ground. “I love arrows.”

“You’re a dork,” Natasha said through a laugh.

“Honestly- is anyone surprised by bird brain and Terminator’s pumpkin?” Tony asked. There was a small chorus of no. “Alright Steve-”

Bucky watched as the team argued and bickered about who’s pumpkin was best. Clint had leaned forward again, throwing himself into the conversation, grinning and laughing with the others. Bucky looked back down at the pumpkin that Clint and him made, still trying to figure out how he felt about it until he realized that this was the closest he had been to the team since coming along. That warm feeling started to push its way in as he realized for almost an hour he was lost in something other than his thoughts, and that he was part of this small community.

Looking up, Bucky caught Steve’s eyes on him before Steve smiled and looked down at the pumpkin. Bucky nodded and smiled himself before he glanced over at the person who helped make it happen. Clint stated how he needed the training because his diet was shit. Maybe Bucky should start going to the training sessions now- needing them to help him settle into this community. Maybe he was finally ready for it.

“Rigged! This contest is rigged! Clearly my pumpkin is the best!” Steve shouted.

“Sorry Stevie- the voting has concluded,” Clint said in a very serious tone. “Brucie has the best pumpkin.” Bruce’s face was starting to turn red and Natasha had leaned over, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“It's okay to lose sometimes, Stevie,” Tony taunted, reaching out to pick at Steve, who pushed his hands away.

“Collusion,” Steve muttered.

“Collusion,” Sam repeated in a high pitched tone, straightening up as he laughed, his hands over his stomach. The whole team was laughing now. Clint knocked over, pressing against Bucky’s side to keep himself upright. Bucky looked at him and smiled before he looked at Steve.

“Sorry Punk,” Bucky offered.

“Yeah yeah- it’s alright,” Steve said. “Happy Halloween, team.”

#spooky season prompts #a wild prompt appeared

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silverisbestboy · 4 years ago

Text

Sonic Boom x Reader

Requested by @blackace1993: Conversation was accidentally deleted but from what I remeber of it, they wanted hc for the Sonic Boom characters who has a partner who frequently gets into trouble and/or captured by Eggman. They didn't specify which character they wanted so I just did all of them minus Tails. Hope you enjoy!

Sonic:

There's no denying it

Sonic was smitten

The moment you set foot on the island Sonic was taken aback by you

To him, you were drop dead gorgeous with a great personality so I guess you could say it was love at first sight for him

This boy is a fool for you

It's actually quite funny watching him zip across the island at the slightest remark that you need something

"Man, you what? I'm feeling kind of hungry"

"Say no more!" He'll say as he zooms away and reappears seconds later with a chili dog in hand

"Uhhhh"

But, unfortunately for you, being in any sort of relationship with Sonic is not wothout complication

Eggman sees you as a new oppurtunity to best Sonic and ends up taking you hostage on a regular basis

The first time it happens, Sonic all but destroys Eggman's fortress looking for you

But after it continuously happening, it starts getting kinda old

"Greeting Sonic! I see you've come to rescue your little girlfriend"

"Yeah, yeah. Can we just we just get to the part where I clobber you?"

It gets to the point where Sonic starts teaching you how to defend yourself so you can hold your own against Eggman

Not that he doesn't mind rescuing, it's just he can't always be there to protect

With the amount of times they've had to save you, the team are already very familiar with you and consider you apart of their friend group

But as you get better is self-defence, Sonic officially announces you as part of the team and you start joining them on missions

While Sonic does tend to stick to your side more than his other teammates during battle, he's glad to have you fighting alongside them

After all, he's happy to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means having to bash Eggman's robots to do so

Knuckles:

You're not a bad person

So what if you have anger issues

So what if you get into fights from time to time

So what if you've been in trouble with the cops before

Doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you've.... got some issues

One day you're not in the best mood and have already had a pretty shitty day, and you're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

So it's no wonder that when a big guy bumps into you and causes you to drop the tray of food you're holding, you go off on him

Unfortunately for you, this guy is huge, a tall red echidna with bulking arms that looks like he could punch you into next week

But you're not one to back down from a fight, you've beaten up guys twice your size before and you're not afraid to do it again

"Woah, hey, sorry about that, didn't see you there."

What, is he dense?! Who does this guy think he is barrelling into anyone he pleases just because he's big? You bet he was just gonna walk off without even helping you. Well, you'd show him!

Without warning, you lunged at the echidna with the intent of knocking him over the same way he almost did to you

But you underestimated his initial strength and reflexes and he caught you midair with your legs kicking and your hands clawing for his face

"Woah, dude chill! I said I was sorry!"

He just kinda holds you up in air at arms length with you kicking and screaming until you eventually tire yourself out

The echidna stares at you cautiously

"Are you good now?"

After a moment, you reluctantly nod, and he gently sets you back on your feet

He then carefully leans down without takong his eyes off you and grabs your burger which is still wrapped in foil and reaches it out to you

"How about we start over? I'm Knuckles."

You thought after that encounter, that was the last you'd see of him

But one day, you've gotten yourself into another fight, and to say you're losing would be an understatement

It's once again, a guy twice your size and he's absolutely beating the crap out of you

But by some miracle, Knuckles happens to be walking by and immediately notices you

He steps in to save you, and the guy you're fighting knows about Knuckles being part of Sonic's team and doesn't even bother attempting to fight him

Knuckles takes your half conscious body to Tails's work shop where they fix you up

After that, Knuckles refuses to leave you alone

Even if you try to leave, he always ends finding you to make sure you don't get into more trouble

He helps you find outlets for your anger by sparring and working out with him

You grow a soft spot for Knuckles that you'd never thought you'd have for anyone

He's your big goofball that somehow always manages to calm you down and get you out of whatever trouble your in

Though it's beyond you why anyone would want to put up with you, eespecially a lovable ray of sunshine like Knuckles, you're so grateful that you have someone like himin your life to keep you in check

A/N: Might make more hcs for that because I absolutely love the idea of big, strong goofball Knuckles having a little ball of pure rage as a partner.

Amy Rose:

Some would say you're a pacifist

Some would say you care too much

Some would say you're too nice

But you like to think that you're just trying to do good in the world

You're definitely the type of person that hates conflict and wants everyone to get along, and you're more often than not a bit of a pushover

You like to give people benefit of the doubt and prefer to see the good in people, although sometimes, this affects you negatively

A kindly looking (or at least in your opinion) wolf with a showman's top hat and a certain glint his eyes one day stops you in your tracks and asks you ever so politely if you would kindly lend him some money to help feed his family

Of course, you're quick to help, but little do you know that this is none other than T.W. Barker himself, and he's been watching you carefully for some time

He notices the way you jump at the oppurtunity to help someone in need, and he being a con man at heart, decides to take advantage of that

But before you can lend the man all the money you have in your pocket, a certain pink hedgehog decides to interfere

"Hey, you leave her alone Barker! Go find your own ATM machine!"

Amy Rose herself stands not far behind you, hammer in hand and ready for trouble

"N-now, now, let's not be too hasty. I was simply accepting a generous donation from this unsuspecting-- I mean self-less young lady."

"Yeah right. Beat it before I hammer you into next Tuesday, punk!"

You're in utter shock as the seeming wolf in sheep's clothing (pun intended) makes his escape

"Gotta look out for scumbags. Seems this village is getting more and more of them everyday. Anyways, I'm Amy, what's your name?"

Since then, Amy keeps a close eye on you to make sure you don't become prey to anymore scam artists

Now Amy will never admit she has anger issues, but she does get... irritated from time to time

On more than one occasion, you're there to help her calm down and have a sleepover planned or a spa day for when things get particularly rough for her

Whenever she needs help choosing which paint to redo her wall with, or which dress she should wear to a party, she calls you up, because no matter what you're interests are or how inconvenient the timing might seem, you're ready to help a friend, even with mundane things

Amy has you become a part of the Sonic family, and while you never do join them in battles, you help keep the peace between the team whenever there's an argument

And Amy always makes sure your overly caring attitude isn't being taken advantage of

No matter the time or the place, Amy knows she can always count on you, and you know she's always got your back

Sticks:

Well this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into

A lot of people would descibe you as clumsy, but you knew you just bad luck

And to prove just that, here you were dangling upside from a rope trap after deciding to take a liesure stroll through the forest

What are we, nomads? Who sets out traps in the middle of the woods anymore?!

After about 20 minutes, the blood is rushing to your head and you're starting to feel faint

But just as you think that your bad luck will finally be the end of you, figure bursts from the bushes with a fierce battle cry

It's a badger girl with a boomerang clutched in her paw, ready for a fight

But after a moment she realizes just who's gotten caught up in her trap

"Hey, what's the big idea?! Why're you in my snare?"

"Why am I in your snare? Why did you put out a snare you loon?!"

After about 5 minutes of arguing, Sticks reluctantly cuts you down, begrudgingly explaining that she set out a trap for any woodland monsters

You run into her again on another walk, crossing a small stream before tripping on one of the stepping stones and almost falling in before a furry arm wraps around your waist

"You outta be more careful out here. The wilderness is no place to be a klutz."

"Hey, I'm not a klutz. I just have bad luck is all."

And what more to gain the attention of a superstitious badger than the possibility of supernatural forces at play

"You could've been hexed by a witch. Or worse, there could be a vengeful spirit after you! We gotta get you an exorcist!"

"I'm fine, I'm just unlucky. Always have been always will be."

"We should still burn some sage in your home just to be sure."

You let Sticks do what she wants with you, after all, her superstitious perspective is a nice change from everyone just thinking your clumsy

You think her attempts to "cleanse" you are endearing, she tries something new everyday, and you end up learning a thing or two about survival and the corruptedness of politics from her

Weeks later, her attempts slowly dwindle down, and she just comes to accept she's just gonna have to keep an extra close eye on you, especially when she sets out booby traps

The time y'all have spent together, although it was somewhat motivated by Sticks not wanting to get whatever curse you exposed her to, lead to y'all having a close bond

Everyone has their quirks, she's paranoid and you're clumsy, but you two always manage to work things out

And that's the beauty of a relationship

A/N: Sorry I haven't been that active lately, so take this as an apology. Four hcs for the price of one!

#sonic headcanons #sonic the hedgehog x reader #sonic x reader #sonic boom #amy rose x reader #sticks the badger x reader #knuckles the echidna x reader

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statticscribbles · 4 years ago

Text

Mouse

Summary: Sweet pea/reader- Opposite’s attract isn’t a rule it’s more like a guideline

Sweet Pea trails his hand against the hem of your skirt, pushing it up slightly to watch the pleats fall back to the normal length as you pull his hand back to resting on your waist. “So what’s it like having everyone think I’m corrupting you, such a sweet innocent Northsider..” He hums against your neck and you shiver. “Aren’t you though?” You question Sweet Pea nods pressing his lips back to yours as his hand slides up your back pulling you from the wall into his chest. You try your best to not make any noise in surprise but fail; turning your face away in embarrassment.

“I’d argue you’re not sweet and innocent but we both know you are. I mean all Northsider’s compared to Serpent’s and the Southside; but you’re like a mouse compared to a snake.” You’re about to counter back when his tongue and teeth skim your neck cause your breath to hitch.

“Sweets.” You whine and he smiles into what you’re sure is a hickey by now. “Yes?” You huff pouting at him. “Oh sorry do you want to continue this somewhere else?” He pulls back watching as you smooth your skirt down and straighten your shirt. Sweet Pea tilts his head. “What was that?” “What was what?” You look up to him. “That weird flash of- oh my god you have a tattoo.”

“Shhhh, you can’t go shouting that out at school!” “We’re behind the gym babe, no one is going to hear us.” He laughs leading you back towards the parking lot.

“At least give me a hint. Otherwise I’ll start guessing.” Sweet Pea pouts over his shake. “You’ve already guessed five thousand times in the last two days, but fine; one hint okay?” he nods face lighting up. “It’s here; this big.” You shift on the chair pointing to the upper part of your inner thigh, almost your hipbone area and draw an oval. Sweet Pea narrows his eyes. ‘Why there?” “Only place my parent wouldn’t see.” “What is it?” “No you have to guess.” You smile and he smirks.

“I could just look you know.” His fingers hook into your belt loops on your jeans pulling you off your chair as he stand hand shifting to your lower back to motion you towards the door. “You really think I’d let you look there?” Sweet Pea sulks. “I was hoping..” You raise an eyebrow. “In the middle of Pop’s?” You laugh and he scowls. “No.” “They why did you ask just then?”

“I meant in general, Jesus, why are you so literal!” He laughs. “I have to be; showing you the tattoo you never knew I had is serious business.” You join in laughing with him as you make your way back to his trailer. “Who gave it to you anyways?” He questions as you curl next to him on the couch. “Sworn to secrecy.” You wink as he scowls shifting you against his chest as you both stretch out on the couch.

“Toni, seriously tell Y/N I need to see the tattoo. Pleaseee. It’s been driving me crazy.” Sweet Pea whines. “Wait Y/N has a tattoo?” “Sweet Pea!” You smack his arm and he looks sheepishly at you. “Sorry babe I thought she knew..” “I told you no one knew! That means everyone besides you and the tattoo artist!”

“Who you should tell me the name of.” He smiles at you. “What about a tattoo artist?” Fangs interjects and Sweet Pea opens his mouth before closing it. “I wanted to get a tattoo, I was asking for recommendations.” “FP’ll do it, or one of the other Serpents can few of ‘em used to run a tattoo shop. You have to pass the trials first.” “No she’s not gunning to be a Serpent, she just wants a flower or some shit.”

“ A flower was the best you could come up with?” “I panicked okay! What was I supposed to say?” He asks and you shrug. He pulls you over, onto his lap as Toni, Cheryl and Fangs settle around the fire with you, Fangs holds out a pizza box, you pull a couple of slices and pass it to Cheryl. “So Sins and Secrets. I’ll go first.” Cheryl claps her hands and smiles. “Y/N, won’t you tell us something, I’m sure there’s something you need to confess.”

“I have a tattoo?” You state and Cheryl pouts slightly. “That’s not nearly dark enough, what is it? Ooo is it an exes name! Where is it??” “Cheryl, that’s not allowed, you have to wait till the next turn to ask.” Toni reminds her and she nods as you ask Fangs to confess.

It’s Toni who ends up asking you. “So what is it?” Sweet Pea’s practically vibrating next to you. “My favourite animal.” You beam at both him and Toni. She laughs as he groans and smacks his face with his hands. “Is that why you never told me your favourite animal when I asked the other day.” You nod laughing and Cheryl smirks. “You should try out for the Vixen’s. We’d love to have you.” “You just want to see it. I’ve told you, no. To all of you.”

“Told them no about?” Jughead stands with Betty next to him. “Y/N has a tattoo!” “No it’s fine, not like I wanted to keep it a secret or anything!” You glare at Fangs who’s smile vanishes. “Sorry Y/N just thought they could help us reveal it.” He laughs and you roll your eyes. “It’s my turn right?” You smirk and Fangs swallows nervously “Sweet Pea; why do you want to see it so badly?”

“Why wouldn’t I? In all seriousness like I’ve said before, you’re a mouse compared to us. You’re not at all edgy or threatening, you’re the perfect example of an innocent Northsider, down to your toes.” He nods to where your feet are folded up on the couch, your shoes resting next to the arm on the ground.

“Having a tattoo, no matter what it is, changes that.” “Does it change how you feel about me?” Nobody says anything about it not being your turn. “Makes me love you more.” You nod staring at the ground for the rest of the night.

“Y/N; talk to me. You’ve been so quiet since the whole Sins and Secrets. Are you okay?” His hand brushes your arm as you curl next to him in his bed. “You said you loved me.” “I do, does that bother you?” You sigh shaking slightly. “Even if I lied to you?” “Lied to me?” You can hear the panic creeping in his voice and you hush it with a kiss climbing on top of him.

“My tattoo; I’m talking about my tattoo.” You nod to him and he sighs in relief. “Wait; are you telling me it’s not your favourite animal? You little liar.” He glares and you laugh. “No it is my favourite animal, I just lied about something; well it’d be easier to show you.” You shuffle nervously untangling yourself from the covers and nudging up the shorts you’re wearing to bed.

“See.” You slowly pull the shorts up an inch. Sweet Pea huffs nudging them up to fully expose your tattoo. He swallows, looking from the tattoo to your face and back down to it. “I really would have taken you for a colour girl.” You laugh shaking your head. “I think it looks cleaner without the colour.” Sweet Pea nods brushing his fingers over it. He’s concentrating so much that he jumps when your hand brushes the serpent on his neck.

“I love you.” His hand stops tracing, to rest over it, thumb rubbing against your leg. “I love you too.” He replies sighing shaking his head. “You have any idea how pissed Toni and Fangs are going to be about this?” You scoff shaking your head. “They don’t matter.” Sweet Pea arches an eyebrow. “What’s the fifth law again?”

“Sweet’s I’m not freaking betraying them. I’m just not telling them the truth right away!” “And what kind of Serpent does that make you?” “Well you’re dating me, so what does that make you?” You counter and he laughs hand returning to tracing the double-headed snake on your thigh as you lean back to kiss him. “Still think I’m a mouse?”

Support My Writing?

#sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea reader insert #jordan connor #jordan connor imagine #jordon connor reader insert #stattic

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serialkillerinthemaking · 4 years ago

Text

below the cut is my insanely long analysis of sa and its metaphors its bad but i did in an hour with a headache so it is what it is

analyzing sa even though it's been said so much it's redundant I just need a place to collect it all ya know

note: none of this is chronological to the story and its probably just going to be the song lyrics

there are many run-on sentences and grammar problems sorry. I'm writing this off the idea that everyone has a decent understanding of sa and its plot.

obviously, mama who bore is about Wendla’s mom not telling her about sex. mwbmr is the same thing except it shows none of the girl's mom tells them about sex.

all that's known starts with the boys robotically repeating Virgil's Aeneid before Melchior breaks out and starts singing. He explains that science and facts are pushed aside in favor of religion and his parents wanting him to fall in line and not question what is taught. that's the general theme of the song. he is determined not to become part of the hivemind and question what is taught. he wants to find and see and experience more than what they know of and are teaching in terms of the world and he himself.

He mentions the stars and them being sort of all-knowing. stars are brought up again in those you've known sort of being a metaphor for society and the children of his generation and the ones to come. In those youve known, he vows to read Moritz and Wendla's dreams to the stars because they are dead and can really communicate with him and therefore rely on him to spread the word of their thoughts and ideas and stories. this being a cautionary tale, those stories must be told.

he mentions the repression of free thought. children are naturally curious of the world around them but as they grow up the adults push them not to be and only to accept what we know now. he doesn't want to lose this and stop eternally searching for more. this is sort of put into the term "purple summer". meaning the story, the cause, the prevention, and the tragic beauty of the story. we'll come back to the meaning of purple summer itself.

he says one day all will know generally meaning what is happening beneath the surface and societies refusal to talk about it and explore it. in purple summer this comes back more concrete. instead of one day, more like a distant hope, he says all shall know. they will know now, soon, not one day in the distant future. In the end, his journey is complete and it goes from one day all will know to all shall know.

tbol and my junk are pretty straight forward you guys don't need me for those.

touch me is basically about the yearning for sex and to know what is. there are some metaphors but they are pretty self-contained within the song itself and don't really have enough grasp on them to go too deep. either that or they're really not actually that deep lol.

woyb is basically about Melchior and Wendla wanting to be with each other and trying to resist the temptation because of oppression

The dark I know well is about the rape and sexual assault of Martha and Ilse at the hands of her father and artist friends, respectively. Again the song uses one central self-contained metaphor that is never brought up again in the context of the show and is pretty easy to understand.

and then there were none has frau Gabor intermittently reading a letter she wrote in response to Moritz asking for money to escape. Moritz jumps in and sings his thoughts as he reads the letter and basically watches his last hope fall through. he feels she tries to sugarcoat the point of the letter. he is mad for saying things in an attempt to make him feel better and to try her best to help, such as writing a letter to his parents. she tells him she still cares for him but can't help him. he feels he has no other option left after failing his tests. you all know the plot you don't need me to explain it.

mirror blue night Melchior is horny blah blah blah I hate this song moving on

I believe while they disobey the church and its a church song irony yeah

(it's so late I'm sorry)

don't do sadness blue wind ohoho lets goooo

Moritz wishes to be a butterfly, no longer having to deal with life, and happily flying. he says he doesn't do sadness because he just can't handle it anymore. the failing the test hurt him and frau Gabor refusing to help was the straw that broke the camel's back. he can't take it anymore. Ilse comes in and sees he's sad. it's cold and dark outside symbolizing his current mood so she sings about the happiness of spring and summer to cheer him up. fall and winter are analogies for sadness and pessimism, spring and summer are happiness and optimism, hence spring awakening, the happiness coming back after the sad times. purple summer also references that but that's for later. she talks about when they were kids happily playing in the sun. wind, a cold sad month thing always comes back but it always goes away. happiness will always come and sadness will always go just like the seasons. Moritz is only living in fall and autumn, not seeing the spring and summer ahead. Ilse gets through her life through optimism relying on the blue wind never taking when it creeps up and always going away once again. and then it just kinda repeats you get the rest.

left behind. he never got to grow up and be an adult and its his parent's (mostly his dad's) fault. metaphor once again fully in the song not really brought up again.

you guys got the rest (more than sufficient critical conjecture on woybr) until WHISPERING whooo

she hears the ghosts because throughout she alive and dead. sort of. everyone is sad. she describes her family's grief at her funeral. the preacher uses her as a cautionary tale and warns others of her fate. they say she did bad things and this how she ended up. such a shame, such a sin. she feels powerless, like she didn't have a voice and only could do what was told of her. she didn't know any better despite her best efforts. she mentions summer longing in the wind. happiness being swept up by sadness was pretty much her whole "relationship" with Melchior.

👏those👏you've👏known

there is so much I'm just gonna analyze it line by line (i consider this the pinnacle of metaphors in theatre considering the buildup)

MORITZ

Those you’ve known

And lost, still walk behind you

All alone

They linger till they find you

self explanatory pretty much

Without them

The world grows dark around you

And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you

Melchior's world has crumbled, he feels like it never going to be the same without them, but he found them.

WENDLA

Those you’ve pained

May carry that still with them

All the same

They whisper: “All forgiven.”

He hurt her, and she's still hurting but she forgives him because there is love in heaven, all will be forgiven.

Still your heart says

The shadows bring the starlight

And everything you’ve ever been is still there in the dark night

everything she was was left behind, but she still finds it here.

WENDLA

When the northern wind blows

The sorrows your heart holds

There are those who still know –

They’re still home

We’re still home

he's still hurting, they're still there.

MORITZ (Sung In Counterpart)

Though you know

You’ve left them far behind

You walk on by yourself, and not with them –

Still you know

They will fill your heart and mind

When they say there’s a way through this

he's living and must continue without them but they are still there in his heart.

MELCHIOR, MORITZ AND WENDLA

Those you’ve known

And lost, still walk behind you

All alone

Their song still seems to find you

They call you

As if you knew their longing –

They whistle through the lonely wind, the long blue shadows falling

they are still there!

MELCHIOR

All alone

But still I hear their yearning

Through the dark, the moon, alone there, burning

The stars too

They tell of spring returning –

And summer with another wind that no one yet has known

The stars are back! they are all knowing and tell of the sadness passing, the happiness returning, with something new.

(MORITZ and WENDLA Join with Counterparts)

They call me –

Through all things –

Night’s falling

But somehow I go on

You watch me

Just watch me –

I’m calling

From longing

a call back to all thats known

WENDLA (Sung in Counterpart)

When the northern wind blows

The sorrows your heart’s known –

I believe…

she still believes in forgiveness.

MORITZ (Sung in Counterpart)

Still you known

There’s so much more to find –

Another dream, another love you’ll hold

he doesn't have to be stuck on them and they are giving him permission to move on and find happiness again.

Still you know

To trust your own true mind

On your way – you are not alone

There are those who still know

a call back to all that's known,

MELCHIOR (Sung Alone)

Now they’ll walk on my arm through the distant night

And I won’t let them stray from my heart

Through the wind, through the dark, through the winter light

I will read all their dreams to the stars

i dissected this line back in all thats known but STARS! they back

I'll walk now with them

I’ll call on their names

I’ll see their thoughts are known

they know now! all will know he knows and know they know! their story will be told!

WENDLA

Not gone –

they are still there!

MELCHIOR

They walk with my heart –

And I'll never let them go

they are still there!

I’ll never let them go

You watch me

Just watch me

I’m calling

I’m calling –

And one day all will know

ALL👏WILL👏KNOW👏

P U R P L E S U M M E R

purple has historically represented freedom, the kids now have freedom and summer here means happiness. so now they have both. purple summer is just yeah knowledge and freedom of oppression and the hivemind because this Germany 1890 bad (its a john Mulaney reference I'm so sorry im losing my mind)

And all shall know the wonder

I will sing the song of purple summer

All thats known, all will know all shall know. They will know because we will tell them.

And still, I wait

The swallow brings

A song of what's to follow -

The glory of the spring

The happiness! The knowledge! The freedom! Its coming! It waking it up! SPRING IS AWAKENING! ahhhhhhhhhh

#spring awakening #dwsa cast #long post #add your own mine are crap #i wanna hear your interpritations of it #gotta give it up for duncan sheik #he really did the most here

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gumnut-logic · 4 years ago

Photo

Thunderfam Appreciation Post

I’m giving this a new post to prevent scroll city, but the original and several reblogs can be found by clicking the above link. Also, it’s an excuse to post a piccy of Virg cos any excuse, really :D

Many thanks to @willow-salix for writing this question list :D

Before I start, I just want to say that I value every member of this fandom. I’m often hopeless at communicating in group settings so I don’t speak to many peeps, but that is my failing, not anyone else’s. You are an amazing group and you have supported me and each other just brilliantly over the last nearly three years that I have been hanging with you guys. Thank you ever so much for all your wonderful support and encouragement. I’ve had so much fun and created so much stuff…you guys are amazing. Thunderfam rock!

Please note that my memory is pathetic and I will fail to mention everyone. Please do not take any offence if you aren’t listed below. That does not mean I don’t value you, I do, it just means I have swiss cheese between my ears.

-o-o-o-

Your favourite writer of your favourite boy.

@i-am-chidorixblossom You are a whumper and comforter after my soul. You speak the Virg :D @vegetacide I adore your turn of phrase and your description is to die for.

The person who's stories you will always read.

I try to read most fics that come across my dash, but there are a few that have me jumping up and down. @i-am-chidorixblossom , @vegetacide , @tsarinatorment , @scribbles97 , @the-lady-razorsharp , @janetm74 Of course, I regularly fail at this as some of you write a huge amount of fic and I am often playing catch up, but fic!

Who wrote the first fic you read in this fandom.

I landed on FF.net back in May 2018. I immediately ran into @the-lady-razorsharp who I knew from another fandom ten years prior and she was absolutely wonderful, drawing me in and introducing me around. I gobbled up several of her fics in the process.

Person you can talk to for the longest without a break.

I am hard to get started, persistence is required, but once started, it is usually hard to shut me up. @scribbles97 @vegetacide and @tsarinatorment have all discovered that. Dangle a Virg, a plotline and stand back.

Person you can't be trusted to be left alone with.

Um, @vegetacide and I have plotted out the entirety of Warm Rain together…poor Virg. Add @the-lady-razorsharp into the equation and Virgil ends up with a beard, dressed in leather and riding a Harley – that was a hilarious evening. Between @tsarinatorment and @janetm74 Virgil gets grey hairs and has to go rescue Scott – because Scott inevitably ends up in the story :D @scribbles97 gets the blame for Gentle Rain – expand your horizons she said ::headdesk:: But then there was the time I left one random line about Eos visiting Virgil in the shower and went to bed. I woke up to hilarity and chaos as Thunderfam took the idea and ran with it! Love you guys :D

Person whose fic made you cry the most.

I know there were at least two fics that made me cry, but for the life of me I can’t identify them. I did cry writing my own fic – Flannel – and don’t tend to reread it for that reason. Purupuss traumatised me with A Quiet Day to the point I had to put it down and walk away for a bit ::wails::

Person whose fic made you laugh the most.

I have no idea. I know there are fic out there and I know I’ve read it, but without a complete list of everything I’ve read, I don’t have a clue.

Person whose fic made you think the most.

Aaaargh, I don’t have a master list so can’t remember everything. Staring at my paltry favourites list on FF.net (which was mostly gathered three years ago and never maintained), Purupuss’ ‘Brothers in Arms’ and her whole Quiet series has me wanting to write a Scott-Virgil telepathic fic (and she has given me permission to run with the idea, I just haven’t actioned it yet). Counterpoint by Swallow and Amazon is amazing and likely contributed to Sotto Voce.

Person you have laughed with the most.

I’m really not liking this ultimate one person idea. I’ve laughed with a lot of people in this fandom. I’ve candy cannoned a bunch of you as well :P There has been mad plot cackling, evil conspiring, fic written to stir pots and delight on purpose. Hell, I’ve even written fic that was purposefully a giant virtual hug because I’m so far away that even if half the world wasn’t in isolation, I couldn’t hug most of you. Sure, I talk with some of you more than others, and there is laughter in those chats…oh, god, so much cackling, poor, poor Tracy boys. But then there are also so many smiles both vocalised and not. Thunderfam is one of my happy places. Bring on the belly laughs :D

Your comfort fic that you'll go back and read again on a bad day.

I will often resort to my own fic when I’m really down simply because it helps me get to sleep :D and it is kinda tailored to me ::grins:: (and my memory is that bad I often forget what I wrote anyway – yes, it is that bad) But there are also a few on my FF.net favourites list. Mostly hurt/comfort in a Virg flavour. Cheesycheese, nhsweetcherry, A Small Rescue by Nalina, Breathe Easy and Under the Weather by @loopstagirl – several of hers, in fact – the Virg ones :D Pretty much anything that has Virg fainting and being looked after apparently :D Chiddi and Veggie fic, of course.

Favourite piece of fan art.

I have never been so honoured by artists before. This fandom has some amazing skills and I have been gifted some beautiful works. You guys are amazing (I keep saying it like a broken record, but you are).

Again, I’m stuck on having to list one and I can’t. I think Fanart Appreciation Month in January pretty much summed up my opinion.

Who have you known the longest in the fandom.

@the-lady-razorsharp followed by @vegetacide both wonderful peeps. I can’t miss out on @weirdburketeer either for her amazing support almost from day one.

Favourite OC.

I have to say that I really enjoy reading about Ray from @i-am-chidorixblossom ‘s fics :D He is so gentle and kind and just ::sigh:: Virg likes him lots :D Selene by @willow-salix is, of course, a major presence in the fandom and amazingly written. @hedwigstalons ‘ Claire is lovely.

Person who supports your work the most.

The Thunderfam? There have been some wonderful people who support all the time. @hedwigstalons @cg29 @janetm74 @weirdburketeer in particular have been amazing support liking and commenting on just about everything I write. I honestly don’t know how they do it. Plus several peeps over on FF.net and Ao3 who support me over there.

And then there are the poor souls who put up with me in chat and listen to my wibblies and whining and character checks and field random chunks of writing that get thrown their way. @scribbles97 @vegetacide @the-lady-razorsharp @tsarinatorment @i-am-chidorixblossom @onereyofstarlight @godsliltippy @willow-salix @janetm74 all have had random passages thrown at them at all times of the day and night by a crazy me begging for feedback. Does this work? Is this in character? Am I insane? What the hell is Scott doing? Is this John??? I give up, tell me what to do? Virgil is driving me insane! So, um, yeah

Person who's progress you are the most proud of.

I love those peeps who appear in fandom who start off poking around commenting and generally being lovely and then all of a sudden get out their own pens and start writing and they are frickin’ amazing! Both @janetm74 and @hedwigstalons come to mind in this department. Like holy cow – ‘here is my first fic and I’m not sure’ ::reads it:: Omigod! Where did you come from? That was amazing. Sit down here now, keep doing that writing thing, bloody hell! I think being brave enough to pick up a pen and join in is a major thing :D

Person who's story you think is underrated and should be read by more people.

If I find fic I like, I reblog it and shout about it. What I like is definitely skewed in a Virgil direction and this dictates often what I’m going to read first. I can’t reblog what I haven’t read. So, this equation will always be skewed by ‘reasons I haven’t read a fic’ which mostly involves either Virgil or the fact I’m juggling RL. So, my answer to this is if I think a fic needs to be shouted about, I shout about it.

Something you think people would say about you.

She’s nutty.

Silliest 'thing' you do with someone.

I’ve been known to write fic on the fly directly into chat windows to try and distract peeps going through shitty times.

Favourite pairing you now Stan because of someone's fic.

Virgil/Kayo because of @vegetacide for reasons I have blamed her for multiple times. @the-lady-razorsharp and @weirdburketeer were accessories to the fact.

Favourite headcanon from someone's fic.

Um, Virgil and coffee? I got that from somewhere and it has infiltrated my fic…a lot.

Ultimately, though, I feel most people I interact with contribute to my fic and how I’m feeling. This has been a wonderful experience. I try to return the support as much as I can, but sometimes it is a juggle between writing more, my stupid fluctuating mood, the demands of RL and my own creative drive. I hope I’ve helped a few peeps, because you guys have certainly helped me ::major group hug::

And yes, I hug a lot, because to be honest, I have no other descriptor to communicate how I feel, so you get buckets of hugs :D

Tagging the Thunderfam. Feel free to grab these questions and run with them. You’re all part of the gang whether you write, read, art, gif, screenshot, chat, babble, stare at Virgil all day...I know I do a lot of staring.

Nutty

(Thunderfam rocks!)

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderfam #thunderfam rock

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years ago

Text

A story by heroes and villains

Book 2: secrets revealed Janus Bullard: A call

Masterposts: Book 1: the way stories cross

Book2: Secrets revealed

A simple cal from a friend can gt you through the toughest of things sometimes.

“So. What do you think? Are we going to sit in silence the next forty minutes too or…?” Janus just curled in on themself tighter. They were at their first appointment with Doctor Remy Pikani. Who insisted Janus called him Remy. Not because he was one of those adults who thought they’d be more relatable that way. Doctor Pikani just found the title sounded dreadfully boring. Which was why Janus kept using it for now. “Ok. I’ve given you plenty time to be broody. But I was under the impression that you want to fix some things about your attitude and your life.” Janus huffed. “And you think you can fix me?” Doctor Pikani grinned. Taking Janus responding at all as progress. “First of all: You don’t need to be fixed. People never need fixing. Your attitude though, well you gotta admit there is room for improvement there.” Well at least one of them thought they weren’t broken beyond repair. “Okay. We clearly aren’t going to be talking about you today. Your parents mentioned a Virgil and his father, Logan?” the man said as he looked through his notes. Janus relaxed just a little. They supposed they could talk a little about them. But… What if Collector found out what he was doing right now and tried to find out what was said… They couldn’t tell this man too much. Nothing that could harm uncle Lo or Virgil. “What about them?” they said dismissively. Remy took him in for a minute, Janus just looked away, not wanting to give anything away. “Alright… Clearly you don’t trust me. You know that I made one of those fancy oaths to never reveal any information about you without your permission. Unless I have reasons to think you’re a danger to yourself or others. I could lose my job, forever, if that got discovered. So if you don’t trust me, trust that I like this cushy job and the things it affords me to buy. Like my fav Starbees order.” Pikani underlined the last statement with a long sip from his to go cup. Janus took Remy in, suddenly impressed. He might be better than they had given him credit for. Janus had given him pretty much nothing and he still figured how to get them to be more open to the idea of sharing. And maybe, maybe if the collector did ask, even if he was persuasive. Maybe Remy would hide the most important things. They were nowhere near ready to take that gamble. But they could talk a little about certain things. By the end of the session they’d laid out their life before high school in the broadest possible terms. Remy now knew how close they were to uncle Logan, that Virgil had been their friend for as long as they could remember, they knew that they’d been friends with Remus until he moved schools. But that was it. All of that Collector could learn from anyone really. And Remy could feel like they had made progress all he wanted. They had agreed to see a shrink, but they had not thought of all the risks that entailed. Still they couldn’t back out now. Their parents had made it clear that they had to make an effort to show that they were trying to change. And they were. They were done with making mistakes. They’d figure out a way to fix things. They needed to get better at controlling their powers so they wouldn’t accidently hurt others or make them do things they didn’t want to do, and they had to expose Collector for who he was asap. He was not a good person and he spent way too much time with Virgil. The fact that the artist Virgil admired was bad news, did not make what Janus did last year right though. Still they kind of wished they had succeeded, even if that had led to Virgil hating them forever. No… they had to trust that Virgil could take care of himself. Janus had to sneak out every night to meet Collector for training. To their regret they practiced their manipulation on their parents to make sure they’d believe them when they said they were going to bed. Once they realized they had done it before, they could do it quite easily on purpose actually. They were more concerned about trying to win an argument and doing it by accident. They supposed that it was a good thing that they joined the debate team this semester. That should give them practice in turning it off. They were starting to think that Collector was just pretending not to notice their little manipulations. Or maybe, their ‘Persuasion’ helped them fool him into believing they were following him blindly. Though they weren’t trying to use it for that. Which might be why it worked. When they actively tried to get him to tell them something, even just something small like “Why do you bother teaching me?” he noticed and could push against it. Collector never revealed what his gift was. Which was probably meant to make it harder for Janus to guard against it. His words kept chipping at their insecurities and last spring that would have worked. But they were different now. They had grown and they were ready to prove it. While they were trying to get their act together, the entire city was buzzing with the presence of a new hero. Their parents included. “This DreamPrince boy is going to go places. Maybe you should contact the GTH and propose a design for the fanwebsite?” Their mother suggested to their father over dinner after they watched the Prince’s first big interview together. “Hmm. Maybe I will. Who knows I might get to meet him in person. What do you think Janus? Want to meet a real life superhero with me?” Janus shrugged noncommittally. “Sure,” they muttered before finishing their meal and heading to their room. There was this thing in the pit of their stomach that grew white hot with anger at the mere mention of this guy, and they didn’t understand it. Had their old anger at Roman latched on to the next shining light it could spot? Regardless this guy had done nothing to earn their anger. He had seemed charming and confident but also modest and caring. None of which deserved a punch in his face. They had to learn to control it. “You want anger management?” Remy surmised during their next session. It had been hard to describe what they wanted without getting into specifics. But they’d managed. “Yes,” Janus said decisively. “What makes you think you need it? From what I heard from your parents, and principal, you had no altercations that got violent…” Janus narrowed their eyes. Virgil had, of course, not told the teachers what he had done during their altercation. Even when he was mad with them he tried to protect them. They didn’t deserve it. “I hit my best friend in the stomach!” they hissed. “And just because I was kept from hitting anyone in the past… It’s like there are these embers in my stomach, and when something mildly upsetting happens they catch on fire and I lash out at anyone who’s nearby. And… You know what? It doesn’t matter why I want it. You are here to help me. This is what I need. So help me!” they demanded furiously. Remy leaned back. They hadn’t meant to go off like that, but maybe now he’d understand. “Okay… Yeah, you are right. If this is how you want to do this then we will…” he glanced at the clock. “That’s our time for today. See you again next week?” Remy wondered. “Yeah,” Janus sighed reluctantly. They weren’t eager to return, but they didn’t dare suggest quitting after only two sessions. They’d give it another try next week. Maybe now that Remy knew what they needed, the sessions would stop feeling like a waste of time and energy. They needed to make some progress. Right now they were terrified of even talking to Virgil. As long as they kept their distance Collector wouldn’t say anything to upset Virgil. Not to mention they were not sure if they could control their temper around him yet. But they did start talking to some people they’d been needlessly cruel to in the past. Rebuilding what they broke one apology at a time. They were building up to the bigger ones. Apologizing to Roman was still far ahead. After they’d really gotten a hold of their temper. One such apology was owed to their science partner of last year. “Hi Carlton,” they said softly. Despite their careful approach, their classmate jumped in fright. He took a defensive stance. Not in a fighting sense. He had his backpack clutched to his stomach, flinching away, making himself as small as possible. Janice swallowed away their frustration. This wasn’t the first apology to start out this way. After a few seconds Carlton relaxed his stance somewhat and looked them up and down. “… Hi?” he greeted hesitantly. “Listen… About how I acted last year. And, especially the year before… I was… I shouldn’t have done that. You didn’t do anything to deserve it and even if you had, I shouldn’t have. So. I’m sorry.” God it was so awkward every time. If Remy ever managed to make Janice feel like it was safe to open up, they’d tell him about this. To the doctors credit, he had suggested during their second session that starting small in getting better and making things right might be easier. And it was. It was still hard though. Carlton frowned as he studied them for a moment, first suspicious then thoughtful. “Did Virgil tell you to leave me be?” he asked. Janice shook their head. “I haven’t even talked to Virgil since they year started,” they admitted. “No… I mean last year. Did he make you leave me alone?” Janice frowned. “No. We never really talked about you. I mean he didn’t like it when I was an ass to others in general. But he never gave anyone special mention… Why?” Carlton stared at them for another moment. “Well… Other than for like five minutes in that first class, you were pretty okay to me last year,” he pointed out. Janice shrugged. “Doesn’t excuse those five minutes or any of the times we talked before… If you can call it that. I have no explanation for Freshmen year, other than wrong place wrong time. For that class though… I was playing up the big bad bully angle to get Castile to switch seats. Figured everyone would be happy. He gets to play the hero, Virgil and I get to sit together, You get to sit next to your crush, but in hindsight-” “Wait! You thought… I was crushing on Roman?” Janice was beyond confused by that. “You were staring at him every chance you got,” they pointed out. Carlton blushed. “I… wasn’t staring at him,” he admitted. Janice let that sink in. If Carlton wasn’t staring at Roman then… “You have a crush on Virgil?” they realized, so shocked that it came out as a question “I sure hope so.” Janice nearly jumped when they heard Virgil’s voice come from behind them. In the next moment Virgil brushed past them and stood beside Carlton, draping an arm across his shoulders, making the later blush profusely. “We’re dating.” It was a statement. A challenge to say something bad about that fact. Janice was still processing. Virgil was dating a boy… But… “You… But… I thought you were with Stacey?” Had they broken up? Virgil was not fazed. “Where did you even hear that? I hung out with Stacey after school at the start of the year, yeah. We’re friends. After that, I went out with Anne, and Valery and Iris.” Janice’s head kept spinning as Virgil continued. “Didn’t work out beyond hanging out though. But me and Carlton are dating.” If Virgil went out with girls, had crushes on girls in the past and was dating a boy now… Then. “But… That means…” “I am bisexual Janus. Get over it,” Virgil huffed. Janice’s gaze drifted between the pair in front of him. Pieces slowly falling in place. “R Right… I’ll leave you be then.” They needed to get away. To process. It was their free hour so they went for a walk in the nearby forest again, ignoring the snapping branches above and around them, avoiding the clearing they’d made. One day they’d ask Collector how no one was talking about the damage they’d done. Today they had other things on their mind. All the hints Virgil dropped over the years flooded in at once and they couldn’t believe they’d been so blind. He wore the bi colors as his signature look! He’d commented on cute actors, he’d said he wouldn’t care about gender as long as the individual was cute. He had offered Janice his first kiss! Made it abundantly clear that he was comfortable with that! All of that was him testing the waters. Janice just had been so busy with their own secret that they did not pick up on it. Holy… V was bi. He had genuinely wanted Janice to kiss him back then. Probably not in a ‘I have a crush on you’ type of way. Virgil wouldn’t trick someone like that. But… When they got home that evening they were still processing the fact that Virgil had a boyfriend now. They were pulled out of their thoughts of might have beens when their phone rang. They didn’t recognize the number so they hung up. It called again. And again and so on the fourth time they picked up. “Janice speaking?” they asked distrustful. “Snakeface! Finally!” Snakeface…? “Remus?” they asked baffled. “The one and only! Scarecrow gave me your number. He said you two are going through a rough patch. Don’t tell me you two are getting a divorce!” It really was him. “Okay I’ll bite. What are you talking about?” They were curious to see how Remus’ mind was spinning this story. “Come on! You two were basically my playground parents… It was kinda nice to have you hover over me. I never thanked you two for that. Most kids thought I was too wild and weird.” Janice scoffed. “That’s part of your charm. It’s their loss,” they assured their friend. It was so good to hear him again. “But how did this happen? I haven’t heard from you since middle school!” they wondered. “Well my bro discovered I was buddies with you and Virgil back in the day and gave V my number, and now V gave me yours. Apparently my nicknames got confusing for my family. They thought I was talking about some of my creepy crawler friends and not actual humans,” Remus giggled. “Is that why we were never invited over?” Janice wondered. Another misunderstanding? “Um… Yeah… My bad?” Remus replied uncharacteristically awkwardly. “And the reason you never wanted to involve your brother was…?” Might as well get all the questions out of the way. “Well. You’ve met Romie. What do you think he would have done if he heard some bullies had it out for his brother?” They didn’t need to think twice. “He’d probably do something reckless and heroic.” “And gotten hurt or something. Also… Don’t be mad but I thought maybe if he got involved and you met him… You’d like him better.” Oh. “No chance. You were our friend. No one ever could’ve replaced you. I know Virgil felt awful for ages about being unable to protect you that day. Still does I think.” “Yeah. He hasn’t stopped apologizing since his first call,” Remus agreed. “Where did you go after they took you?” Janice wondered. “Oh, they got me in private tutoring. It was real fun. They give me time to go crazy when I need to in between the boring lessons. Only downside is that I don’t see Roman as often as I’d like. He visits all the time, but he has schoolwork and stuff to do as well. And I didn’t have you guys to annoy of course. But that’s enough about me! You spill!” So Janice told Remus that they had been kind of a jerk and that they were working on fixing things. The fact that Virgil had decided to throw them a boon by reconnecting them with Remus was a good sign. Remus cracked jokes and made innuendos. He found it hilarious that Virgil apparently had the ladies and lads lining up for him. When Janice mentioned Roman’s idea of coming out he cackled loudly. Though he did approve. They finished their conversation and agreed that Remus would call whenever possible and that Janus would either answer or call back when they had time. Unless Virgil told the collector for some reason, he didn’t need to know that Janice had a friend or hope of things going back to normal between Virgil and them. The less he knew the better. That evening Collector announced that it was time they prepared for Janice’s first heroic escapade. Which meant they’d need a codename and an outfit. They had one, actually. When they were in middle school they’d played heroes with Virgil and Remus and they all picked names. Remus was Duke. Virgil was Guardian and Janice was… “Serpentine,” they stated firmly. Collector nodded and took their face, angling it, studying it. “Making your flaws your strengths… Inspired. I can work with this,” he grinned before releasing his hold. The next day they were given their outfit. Apparently Collector had managed to get his hands on some GTH tech and fitted it for them. When they put it on their entire skin got covered in scales, their eyes were snakelike and yellow, the outfit itself was black with yellow scale patterns. A pair of yellow gloves and Yellow boots completed the look, along with a black cape. Their hair was black and straightened, pulled back in a ponytail. They looked cool, just not very heroic. They didn’t say anything about it though. Tried not to listen too closely as Collector told them their mission. Become popular, gain the new Prince’s trust and ‘most importantly’ get Virgil’s attention. Janus asked why Virgil had to see them in person. If they made the news wouldn’t that enough? Apparently not. Collector insisted they needed to impress Virgil, make sure that Serpentine was on his mind. There was a lot on Janus’ mind when they met up with Remy for their appointment. And it was a weird one. “How do you mean I don’t need help containing my temper?” Janus asked incredulously, very close to losing their handle on said temper. “Not in the way you think… I have the feeling that keeping things under lock and key, might be your problem and…” “How would you know that? We’ve talked for two hours! Not even that! And the one thing I ask you, you don’t want to even try!?” Janus exclaimed, barely keeping himself from setting of a blast in the room. Remy flinched back, but pushed onward. “See this, right here. This is actually good. Expressing your anger, letting it go, is much healthier than trying to lock it up. Take the pressure off so to speak.” Janus fell back into their seat and curled up once more. Not looking at doctor Pikani as he kept trying to explain why not teaching him how to keep his cool in stressful situations was a good idea. They didn’t even look at him when they left at the end of their hour. He’d said he’d help and now he was backing out. How were they expected to tell him anything? That Saturday, they were sent out for the first time. They did little things. There was a purse snatcher they managed to slam into a nearby set of bushes in someone’s front yard. Cushioning the impact and causing way less property damage than if they had slammed them into the nearby car as Collector suggested. Good quick thinking on their part if they said so themself. They returned the purse, tied up the purse snatcher to a nearby lamp post and ran off. Were there a lot of cameras? Yes. Did they care? Not really. Doing something right alone gave them quite the thrill. They didn’t encounter a lot of trouble after that. None that got Collector’s approval at least. They got a few toys out of drains and the like. At some point they were directed to a different street and spotted Virgil walking with Carlton, they were holding hands and seemed to be having a good time. It was sort of cute. “Seems you have been replaced,” Collector’s voice whispered through his com. Janus wasn’t sure what that was supposed to be about. But he stealthily followed the two of them for a bit longer just out of curiosity. They liked seeing Virgil happy. Collector kept whispering in their ear about how Virgil had forgotten all about them and they might be too late even if they did become a hero. It was getting kind of annoying honestly. And just when they were about to snap at collector a nearby tire blew out, making the pair turn, Virgil instinctively pulling Carlton behind him, before moving on. That wasn’t good, they had to get away before they ruined Virgil’s date. “I’m done.” They said into their com once they felt they were far away enough. “Very well. I suppose you deserve a break. Good job today.” And just like that they were left alone. They turned of their disguise and headed home. On their way there their phone rang. They took it out and checked the ID, expecting Remus’ name. It was not Remus. “Virgil?” They asked incredulously as they picked up. “Hi Jan…” Virgil sounded nervous, but not hostile or distrustful. A little on guard but in a familiar awkward way he had about him sometimes. Janus was scrambling for what to say. There were so many thinks they wanted to say. “I…” I’m happy to hear from you. I missed you. I am trying to make things right. “Hey. Thanks for… You didn’t have to give Remus my number. Hearing from him… It was great.” Those calls the past week were probably the only reason why they hadn’t blasted the Collector into a wall yet. “Well… You’ve missed him just as much as I did. And he missed you too I bet. And you’ve been trying. Don’t think I didn’t notice. Carlton told me you were apologizing to him last week.” Oh… Right. Usually they asked the people they apologized to not to make too big of a deal out of it. Two reasons. They wanted to apologize because it was right, not because it would get them back on Virgil or the teachers’ good side. And, again, the less collector knew, the better. But with Carlton they’d been interrupted before they could make the request. “Um… Yeah. You know. I was kind of a jerk for a while… And I don’t want to be,” They explained rather awkwardly, wishing for a change of subject. “I kissed him!” That sudden declaration caught Janus completely off guard. Virgil… Kissed… “What?” Sure they’d looked very cute and cozy. But they hadn’t expected things would go that well. “I kissed Carlton. The date went well, and the moment felt right… And I kissed him.” Virgil sounded giddy. And that made Janus happy. “Virgil that is amazing! How was it? Wait was that your first? Cause apparently you are in high demand,” they teased, getting Virgil to laugh. “Well yeah. But I’m not letting just anyone kiss me. You gotta earn that.” They laughed at Virgil’s carefree voice. They’d really needed this today. “Well I never thought I would beat you in that department that’s for sure. With the amount of crushes you had in middle school, I figured you’d go off and kiss a girl the second I turned my back.” They informed Virgil, curious if he’d catch up on the semi hidden confession. He did. “Wait… You don’t mean… Janus. Have you kissed someone? When?! Give me the details now!” he demanded. “It was nothing really. Just a summer fling. I was gonna tell you the second I got back. It really helped me put things in perspective but… Well. You know.” They’d already ruined things too much for a simple conversation to fix things. “Jan… I…” The guilt in Virgil’s voice was honestly comforting, as terrible as it may sound. But they wouldn’t let him feel that way. “No. Don’t apologize. I was not trying to guilt trip you. It was brought to my attention that I might’ve accidently been doing that.” There was more to it than that, but now was not the time. “Sorry for that by the way. There is a lot of things we need to talk about. But not yet. I… Can handle this. On the phone… But could we keep it between us? I don’t want the adults or Ca… Or Roman to pat me on the back for every good thing I do. Ok? I’m…” They couldn’t tell him everything. But they’d be as honest as they could. “I’m not ready to trust others. I barely trust my therapist…” God, they were rambling and oversharing. Well… Now Virgil knew they were trying to talk it out with someone. “Ok. Whatever you are comfortable with,” Virgil assured them. “And J?” “Yeah?” “I am proud of you.” Janus bit their lip. Hearing that from Virgil… It meant a lot. “And don’t worry. I didn’t fully trust mine right away either. It needs to click first. If you are really uncomfortable with them, then you just ask for another.” Janus let that sink in for a moment… Virgil… oh, wait… No that made sense. As long as they’d known him Virgil was very hard on himself and put a lot of pressure on his shoulders That was bound to boil over in some shape or form at some point. They were glad he was getting some help with that. And his suggestion seemed like a good idea. “I… Ok. I’ll think about it.” Maybe they’d give Pikani one more shot before asking their parents to move them to another therapist. “Thanks.” They were almost home now. “Listen. I gotta go. See you on Monday?” “Yeah?” Virgil wondered, kind of hopeful. Apparently he’d missed them too. “Yeah. And congrats. You and Carlton make for a nauseating couple,” they drawled teasingly. Virgil laughed. “Thanks. See ya J.” “Bye.” And so their first decent conversation with Virgil in months, ended on a good note. They couldn’t go back to normal yet. But for the first time this semester, they truly believed like it was a possibility for the future.

Hero au

@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

#sanders sides #ts sides #hero au #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #remy sanders #fic

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maxismatchccworld · 4 years ago

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Hi everyone! We received a lot of positive feedback from you, our community, about the gameplay deep dives and developer interviews we shared throughout the development process on The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff Pack. We didn’t have an opportunity previously to talk about Create-A-Sim asset creation, but obviously clothing is a huge part of what makes our favorite pixel people feel real, and we would be remiss to not discuss it at all. So I’m excited to share one last deep dive with you! The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff is coming soon - July 28, to be exact. I’m sure by now you’ve watched the trailer:

youtube

And when you watched the trailer I’m sure you noticed the so-bad-it-is-good-sweater:

We call it “The Forbidden Sweater” and the ability to craft it is unlocked once a Sim completes the Lord/Lady of the Knits aspiration. Only a master knitter could craft something so delightfully diabolical...and itchy. I’d like to share with you a little bit about the Create-A-Sim clothing development process, and what goes into making something as unique as this sweater. Inmar Salvatier, the artist responsible for this delightful abomination, will tell us more about this asset and the CAS process in general. Sarah: Hi Inmar! Can you tell us a little about what a Create-A-Sim artist does on The Sims 4? Inmar: We are the digital tailors, barbers, and cosmetologists of the Sims 4! We take the concept art and pull it into 3-D space with tools like Maya and ZBrush. Constructing every new piece to not only to fit right, but also move right, on all Sims, all the time! Got to have the right fabric and color too, so we’ll jump into programs like 3DCoat, Photoshop, and Marmoset to get the right feel and aesthetic. Then we watch our clothing creations come to life in the game and make the right little tweaks to, as Tim Gunn would say, “make it work!” Sarah: Before joining the Create-A-Sim team you were an artist on The Sims Mobile. How has your time on The Sims Mobile influenced your work as a Create-A-Sim artist on The Sims 4? Inmar: Joining the CAS (Create-A-Sim) team was a big change for me. It was my first opportunity to work on a PC/Console game and I felt very intimidated. But my skills from the mobile world helped me tremendously, and I was able to be an effective team member. Mobile gaming has a lot of constraints and you often have to get crafty with creative solutions to get the most out of the art you’re creating. You learn to adapt and, for me at least, it has instilled what some have called a “can do” spirit. My first pack on The Sims 4 was Island Living and early on I was handed a curveball asset with a bunch of question marks. It was a bikini with a sheer sash around the waist. See-through assets are super tricky, especially if it’s not directly on the body. But I love a challenge and I was able to learn a lot about our internal tools on The Sims 4, and I even got to design the different color variants for that asset. There was also the robot arm for Discover University. I was able to take that unique top from Concept all the way to finished asset. The concept art I created helped my fellow CAS artists design the full mech suit and robot. It hit me right in the feels that my team was so stoked about my work that it inspired them. Sarah: The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff features a delightfully atrocious failure sweater. It’s so bad, it’s good! What inspired you when making this truly unique asset? What challenges did you face? Inmar: This thing is amazing, and I was all about it from the start! The idea was as big as the sweater itself, and the over-sized ideal was the first real challenge. Sims needed to feel like they were swimming in it without sacrificing our animation fidelity. I had to offset the bones - think of these as the invisible skeleton that helps to shape our clothing and make it work on Sim’s bodies - to not only help convey the size, but also to keep the animations working correctly. Then there is the process of making something bad on purpose that still looks good. Yeah, wrap your head around that sentence. As artists we strive to achieve something visually appealing, but what do you do when you are asked to create an appealing failure? Well, you make this atrocity! It’s about knowing the rules and how to break them in just the right way. From concept to modeling, I think this beast did just that. The first step is concept art. Our concept artist, Amy Kim, sketched several different designs, then she worked with our Art Director and other members of the team to choose which idea to move forward with. Then she further refined that final choice (how many pom-poms is too many pom-poms?!) until the concept was at a good point to hand off to the 3-D artist.

Then the Create-A-Sim artist works on the general shape and defining characteristics of the asset.

Once we’re happy with the shape we can start working on textures:

Coloring the asset comes last:

And, finally, the finished product in game!

Sarah: So cool! Thanks for walking us through that, Inmar. While I’m sure this sweater ranks in the top ten, what is your absolute favorite Create-A-Sim item you have ever made? Inmar: My absolute favorite item was on The Sim Mobile. I made a horse head mask! That was another out there, bonkers idea that had me hooked from the moment it was mentioned. It also had its share of challenges and design problems, but I love a good challenge and watching players using and loving it, well, right in the feels : ) Sarah: Thanks for sharing with us Inmar! And thanks again Simmers for joining us on the journey to create The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff Pack. We here at Maxis had a lot of fun working with you to create this pack, and it was exciting for the SP team members to get to share their passion and creative process with you via these deep dives. The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff Pack will be released on PC, Xbox, and PS4 on July 28. You can learn more here: https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4/news/nifty-knitting-reveal That’s all for now! Keep on knitting...uh, I mean Simming…. ~ SimGuruSarah

Source: Sims 4 Forum

#s4 news

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writeangstime · 5 years ago

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Changing your destiny (Eskel x Reader)

Title: Changing your destiny Fandom: The Witcher (All media) Pairing: Eskel x Reader Genere: Angst (well, it’s supposed to be..) Word counts: 4007 Warnings: Blood

A story that I wrote for @lovermrjokerr‘s challenge - go check it out because I think it is super fun to do something like that and it is so nice that a fanfic writer is doing something where others can try themselves!

It was read and checked by wonderful @mindowe that took some of her time and fixed all the mistakes for me (and apparently had the patience of the angel doing so)! She is also a wonderful artist - her drawing is amazing, check her tumblr and other social media for it!

The wind ruffled through your hair, bringing the tiny mites of sand to your face, forcing you to turn away and, spiting the dirt on the ground the mere seconds before the hove of your horse made its mark on the uneven path. Melitele must have overlooked this place when she was blessing the country because, as far as you could see, there was only a yellow plain of dry and broken grass that was being covered by sand with every stronger gust of wind. Yet, you could understand why it was a perfect hideout for any creature that would like to have some privacy - or for basically anyone who would seek solitude for something mischievous.

Your mount seemed to agree with your unspoken words, shaking its chestnut mane with what could you say was some kind of concern – under your legs you could feel the horse muscles tensing from something more than a weight on his back as his uneasy breath joined the cracking of the straws and the hitting of the hooves on the trodden path. Swirling reins around your left hand, you reached the other one to pat the animal’s neck, trying to ensure him of the safety of both you and him, though you had to admit it got you a little worried. It was no surprise that domestic creatures were more prone of being influenced by the magic – both good and bad, both strong and weak. Both new and old.

But you could tell that you were getting closer to the place you have been looking for the past few years – at first it was only a distant shape on the horizon, being so thin that one would think it needed only a blink of an eye to disappear in the thin air. But as you were riding closer toward it, the shape began to grow, climbing towards the sky and shifting into the central point in the wasteland. After what seemed to be a long, stretched hours but in reality couldn’t be more than a few minutes, you reached your destination and had to admit, that being present in this place brought to you more uneasiness than actual joy.

If anyone called you a scavenger, hunter or a raider you couldn’t care less. And sometimes fixing them a stern glare, sometimes completely ignoring their person and from time to time even going with some kind of the mean comment in return, but you never got yourself into the discussion. It took some of your precious time that was always in short. Or at least you felt like it was. It felt tiring in certain moments, knowing that your destiny was forged for you long before you could even set the foot on this world. But you weren’t going to sit idly and wait for the curse to swarm you and entrap you in your own body like a prison.

Stopping your mount in front of the entrance you couldn’t help a smirk crawling on your lips as you noticed how small the door in front of you were, left in good condition - though the tower looked like it could collapse in any minute, with the stones almost turning into dust right in front of you. But it was still holding, supported by what you could only guess was the magic that lingered here long after the mage who waved it had long been gone. Well, you hoped he was – meeting undead wasn’t exactly the plan for today, tomorrow and till the end of your life. Sadly for you, whoever inhabited this place decided that windows were not in their taste. If there was anything awaiting you in the tower, it had a lot of the advantage.

Swiftly gliding off the horse, you reached to your saddlebags, cursing under the breath as you hardly tried to memorize where you put the very thing you needed right now. After a while, you managed (or rather struggled) to pull out the small lantern, gently straightening the paper walls and making sure that the candle inside didn’t break during the journey. After you decided that it won’t be any better, you reached to retrieve the flint and tinder from your pocket, bringing a small flame that soon warmed on the candle and glowed in the warm but timid light. Well it had to be enough, you didn’t plan to linger in this place anyway. Pulling out your sword with a small cling sound, you moved to the entrance, holding the light in front of you.

It turned out that the doors were in much worse condition that they looked and, after a moment of trying to force them to open with your body weight, you practically barraged yourself inside, coughing strongly as the clouds of dust were brought to the air with your entrance. The doors slowly moved back to their original position, shutting that small amount of light that you brought from the outside. You managed to calm your breath down, though you still had the feeling that your lungs wanted to escape and you decided to look around as it seemed that there was no unpleasant surprise waiting here especially for you.

The interior of the tower looked less gloomy than you expected and to your surprise you could actually imagine yourself seating here in some kind of future when your bones are too old to move in proper way. You just could sit by the fire, not worried about anything that was happening outside. Though the area seemed small, mostly because being cramped by the horrendous amount of books and parchments, the unfitting furniture added some sort of cosiness. But it wasn’t the time to get some sightseeing and you had a job to do, so placing the lamp carefully on the table, you moved to search through the books for any information that you could use to your case.

You planned to start with the book on the wooden podium that seemed different from the others, but to your surprise the moment you touched the surface it vibrated under your hand, sending the wave of heat so warm it bordered on burning. Quickly retrieving your fingers, you furrowed your brows, deciding to leave it to the last in case you didn’t find anything in the other volumes.

The flame of the candle lowered, lantern brightened the room from a different angle and casted a longer shadow from your figure as the pile of the things you have searched through had grown bigger and bigger, the same as your frustration. What you by far stumbled upon was a very interesting research, some information about housework and even a bit of the poems, but yet nothing with your family surname or even the slightest mention of the magic. You were sure that this was the place, that there lived the person responsible for it all, and yet there was no a single clue that you could cling to. With every paper tossed aside, your doubts were rising and the feeling of anger creeping in your soul replaced the patience with bitterness of doing something in vain.

You reached for another book but stopped with the stretched hand as you heard scream so loud that it rang inside your thoughts, echoing unpleasantly. Whatever it was, there was no way a human being would sound like that. So that meant you definitely should find your way out before this thing plans to break inside, but as you reached to the door, the loud and agonizing scream of your mount froze you in place. With a beating heart you listened for any noise from outside and after what seemed to be only a mere second something started to push the wood, the crackling of the planks from the force causing the feeling of pure terror and panic.

Jumping away from the door, you hit the table and knocked over the lamp. It smashed on the ground and the scent of the wax burning the paper filled the air. Backing from the entrance in the complete darkness, you pulled out your sword once again, not at all feeling prepared for whatever insisted on getting inside but also not going to sell your soul for nothing. If you could put up the fight, you planned to do it for good. Hiding yourself in the element of the surprise, you stumbled once more upon the wooden podium. Deciding that now or never, you grabbed the strange volume, hoping that it would be at least some kind of weird defence.

But as soon as you raised it from its place, the cover opened, the pages going so fast in front of you that you didn’t even have a chance to read its contents. A blue light burst out and soon the darkness swallowed you, tossing you to what seemed as an endless fall.

***

The shivers were forcing your body to jolt, sometimes giving you the feeling that every inch of your skin is burning only to switch into paralyzing freeze of your veins – it was like every inch of you was torn apart to be once again build in the same way. From what you could say basing on the delusional state you were in, your body was laying on some kind of stone, but at the same time it felt like you were drowning in it, looped in endless falling that neither ground nor the very deepness of the earth could stop.

You weren’t alone though – from the bleakness of your surroundings you could catch the glimpse of the face. Though the scars covered most of it man’s yellow eyes were completely soft and caring, almost like nothing you ever saw in your life. Though the circumstances were more than unusual, you didn’t feel fear, maybe because you could find only a compassion in the way he kneeled beside you. Opening your mouth you searched for the words, but he gestured you not to speak, turning away to search for something you couldn’t see.

“Shh, it’s okay. I got you.”

***

You had no idea for how long you remained unconscious with your body still paying the price for a sudden teleportation, but for sure you realized after waking up that there is no more pain and you could get up as easily as if you just took a refreshing nap. The daylight didn’t shine in the cave but the small fire gave enough light for you to see the man sitting in front of it. He was the very same person that you remembered from your fever dreams and just as you moved up you noticed the cape sliding down on your lap – he must have covered you with it while you were sleeping. Your movement must have caught his attention, as he turned away from you, reaching for something to his right.

“I see you are feeling better now. Is everything well, do you feel you can sit up properly?” He asked with the hearable amount of concern in his voice. You could see him pouring something to the small wooden bowl before he moved closer, handing it carefully to you. Using your sleeves as a protection from warm surface, you nodded in a silence gesture of gratitude.

“Yes, I feel much better now. I assume it is thanks to you, mister…” you asked, rising your head from above the warm soup. It smelled delicious and you felt the clench in your stomach that reminded you that your last meal was probably a long time ago.

You could hear him laugh a bit at your last word, a pleasant, low vibrating sound that seemed friendly and yet strange at the same time coming from the man whose scars were for sure mark of some encountered hostility in his life.

“Eskel, just Eskel, without any mister. And you are?” The man now known to you as Eskel allowed himself to lean on the saddle. With small amount of shame you noticed that there was no other bed than the one you have been sleeping on, so it meant you had left him to sleep on the bare stones probably.

“I am [Your name]. I don’t know how can I repay you.” Well, you felt like you should. He could kill you or rob you. Or both. The list could go on but you got the idea. But as soon as you asked that question, the more urgent matter came into your mind. “Do you mind asking me how long I was blacked out and…well, where exactly I am? We are.” You corrected yourself almost immediately.

“No need to mention that, I was here anyway. And for the former, we are actually in the mountains near the Oxenfurt. We stayed here for a two days.”

You cursed loudly, causing him to give you a surprised look as you quickly shook your head in some sort of explanation.

“My apologies, I must admit you caught me here by surprise. My last position and the one I thought I would be is actually on the opposite side of the mountain.” You fell silent, wondering on the book that was a last object you’ve touched. The feeling of sadness woke inside you when you reminded yourself of a lost horse that you got used to and the saddlebags you will probably never retreat. Well, it didn’t leave you completely broke as you had your small savings in the bank but you still had some valuable knowledge in your personal things. At least, the sword survived with you as you glanced at it, resting by your side. You sipped the soup carefully, but overall the situation wasn’t bright at all.

“I can help you reach the town if you want, I will need to refill my supplies anyway” Eskel offered, breaking the silence between you two. Rising your lips in the smile that you weren’t sure he could see from his place, you nodded once again in thanking.

“I think I will accept the offer. And I insist, when we reach the town I want to somehow reward you for your help. You saved my life, and I don’t want to be in someone’s debt.” Placing down your bowl with a small knock, you stretched a bit, making sure that your muscles fully recovered. One more thing popped in your mind and you turned your face towards your saviour once again.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are you doing up here?” You didn’t take him for a lost traveller and his equipment showed he was more than a mere shepherd – such person would not take two swords with themselves just to lead sheep up the mountains. He didn’t seem to be offended by your question, taking up your empty bowl and putting it away together with his own.

“I was culling some harpies in the area. Nothing too extravagant for a witcher, I’m afraid.” He laughed once again, slowly putting away the fire. These words made you look at him at more interesting angle as you were thinking over what he’s just said. Coincidence or that damn volume you touched, maybe this was exactly what you have needed – if you could convince him to come with you, of course. Slowly standing up and handing him his coat, you were taking your sweet time to start the proper topic as you attached the sword to your waist.

“Say, aren’t you maybe in a need for a work right now?” Trying to sound as innocent and not as clingy you slowly started to make your case. “Because I might have one on the hand.”

“Well, for sure there is a vacant for me right now, though I am afraid I would need more details.” He answered carefully, raising the saddle to strap it on the black horse that was calmly standing there.

“Let’s say there are not many…?” You half asked half stated, fixing yourself rather quickly when he raised his eyebrows. “I mean, I know this thing is strong, can catch the horse by surprise and kill it in one swing and has a scream so loud that you want to plug something in your brain just not to hear it anymore. It is the only thing that I’ve noticed before that damn book decided to threw me far away. Please, I will pay you as much as you want, but this is really important for me.”

He went silent for a while, focusing more on preparation for the journey than the reply to you but you knew he had to process it. Standing there rather silently, you stared at the ground, not saying a word not to seem too insistent. Finally, you heard him sight quietly and he turned to you.

“It will be much faster if we skip a visit to the town.”

***

Much to your pleasant surprise, it turned out that Eskel was a great travel companion, not only allowing you to ride the Scorpion (that, even if he loved his owner, decided to switch for the person he was nagging for extra snacks) but sometimes even leading you on it as you travelled through the sides of the mountains. It took little for both of you to unwind and tell stories about your lives, sharing a funny on embarrassing moments. He told you a few things about his job and you’ve never pushed too much for the things he barely mentioned. In return, you briefly told him what you were doing though you have never explained to him the true nature of your curse. It was for your knowledge only.

The small camps you were making on the way seemed a lot easier than you had remembered from your previous journeys – or maybe having two pairs of hands was working miracles. Not that you have ever avoided the company of others, but it was always easier to pack and take care of only yourself and your horse. At least, that is what you thought until now, knowing that you are going to miss the moments of building the campfire as Eskel was shocking you with his sense of humor, sometimes being even cheeky.

But all good things must come to an end sooner or later and that was no different case. As you arrived in front of the tower, your mood drastically dropped to the point your own voice lowered like you expected something to jump right in front of you. To your quite visible surprise, there was no trace of the horse blood, any of your things or even scratches on the door, like the events from your last visit have never taken place. But you were sure that this was the exact spot, the same tower and there was no way you could take the wrong way, memorizing the map so well you could draw it in your mind even while in deadly battle.

You had the feeling that the witcher that kept you a company had doubts himself but even if he did, he didn’t share them with you. He helped you to get off the horse and led him right behind the building. You watched in awe as his hands moved to the certain position and the marks you didn’t know before shone on the ground, gently surrounding the animal. He caught your surprised face with a hint of smile and took one of the swords with him.

“This is for protection. After all, I like him quite well.” Giving you reply for the question you have never asked, he moved to the doors and you helped him to push the old oak. Inside, you could actually see the marks of your last visit – the burned lantern, the books tossed in the pile and that stupid volume that laid where you’ve must dropped it after teleportation. The door behind you slowly shut with a loud creak and you could almost feel your heart beating faster.

“I was there. Sitting and reading. It is hard to tell what was happening and I knocked over the light. I tried to hide, grabbed the book…” You stopped, realizing that in this darkness he has no way of telling what you meant. But before the man could say anything, loud scream rang in the air once again, making you flinch and Eskel reach for his sword.

“If anything happens and I tell you to run, do it.” His voice was stern and calm and you were wondering if he was feeling confident, or he could actually cover his feelings and push them to the side.

“Yes” was the only word you were able to say before the loud noise came from the horse. This time, there was also a loud grunt, something you didn’t catch the last time. Maybe the thing wasn’t happy that the additional meal wasn’t so easy to get. Once again the door started to creak and you moved back a bit as you heard the witcher shifting from his place. Both of you didn’t say anything while you were waiting for this thing to come in.

Eventually, the wood gave in and the creature burst inside. It was like nothing you have ever seen – a humanoid and yet a wild creature, casting the ghastly light but being made of the swirling shadows. It had no eyes and yet, when it moved its head, you could feel it was gazing right into your deepest part of soul. Monster did not waste time, jumping so quickly you barely raised the sword that you held – and even that didn’t help.

The steel shattered like the sword was made of glass, not standing even one blow. The tearing pain went through your whole body as the claws cut through your clothes and the blood poured with you falling on the ground. The beast raised its paw once again, but this time the other sword stopped it from taking your guts out – Eskel’s weapon withstood more power than yours. Such resistance was bestowed with un unhappy growl from the monster that now focused on the man.

You could only watch the battle in front your eyes with amazement as the witcher moved in the way you wouldn’t believe anyone could. He was like a water, shaping and shifting in the recognition of the another blow, so the angry creature was either grasping the air or clinging to his sword. But the monster was quickly adapting to the fight, following soon after and learning things while it was mercilessly beating its opponent. You would be dead for sure if you didn’t open that volume earlier…

The volume! Looking around you, your eyes found it lying close to you. You felt pain in every inch of your body, the air on your open wounds giving you shivers, but despite pain you moved, reaching your hand towards it. It felt like you were moving at disgracefully slow pace, especially when you heard the battle sounds becoming more and more aggressive. You finally managed to place a hand on the book and it shoot the wave of heat to your skin once again. Taking all the strength you could gather right now, you grabbed it and tossed it with a swing of your hand.

The pages shifted when the book flew towards ongoing battle and you could see Eskel jumped out of the way. Bright blue light burst in the room once again, blinding you for a while before it all disappeared, taking the whatever attacked you with itself as the volume hit the floor. The adrenaline burst you got seemed to slow down, as the blood pumping in you seemed to run outside in a scary tempo. You laid down your head, closing your eyes as the pain was becoming stronger with every passing second. There was no option you could move, even when the witcher called your name. At least, you heard him well before you passed out.

“Shh, I am here. It will be okay.”

#Lovermrjokerr8kchallenge #eskel #eskel x reader #the witcher #mindowe #lovemrjokerr #writeatingtime #angst

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yoon-kooks · 5 years ago

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Witch Hazel- Pt.5

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

“So are you in, Jimin?”

“I’m in,” he chuckles at your little proposal. His laugh retains its charm, even through the phone. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little jealous of that charming quality of his. “But can I ask you something, Snow?”

“Go for it.”

“Why me?”

“To prove a point,” you say. “You also have something to prove, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t have shown up at my concert that night despite being well aware of how the public and media would react.”

“Right… Sorry about that, by the way.” You hear the sorrow still beating him up in his lowered voice. It makes sense that he feels the need to blame himself for all the backlash you received, but he shouldn’t have to feel guilty when all he wanted was a little freedom as a normal human being and not as the perfect idol the world makes him out to be.

“It’s fine, Jimin. We may be glorified idols at the top of the industry, but there are a lot of things we have no control over.”

“True… Sometimes it seems like the only way to escape the judgment of the public eye is to hide behind a mask, huh.” Jimin sighs. “But we can’t always live like that either.”

“Exactly.”

After hanging up, you toss your phone aside and pick up your guitar.

On your way to class, you’ve made a habit of checking jk.seagull’s blog for any updates on Witch Hazel, and you’re delighted when you find this new text post:

“it’s not done yet, but I’m planning on posting a new chapter this afternoon after class!”

To celebrate the occasion, you stop by your local coffee shop to pick up a special mocha with extra whipped cream. You’re already late for class after failing to hear your five alarms this morning anyway. And besides, maybe you deserve a little pick-me-up after all the writing you’d done the night before. For once, you feel pretty good about the direction you’re headed in.

Not even a scolding by your professor could ruin your mood.

“Oh, Y/N. How nice of you to join us,” your professor motions for you to take your seat as soon as you step foot into the art room. “I was just talking about how certain students have not been taking this class seriously as of late.”

She glances directly at you, along with your tablemates, Taehyung and Jungkook. “Sorry,” you mouth with a lack of sincerity, before taking a long sip of your mocha.

“And because of that,” the professor continues, “I’ve decided to move up the due date of our portrait project to tomorrow.”

A collective groan fills the room from the entire class, with the exception of those few lucky bastards who’ve already completed their project early. Once the class is dismissed, the scramble to actually get shit done begins. Even Taehyung opts to stick around as opposed to his usual obligations, and that speaks volumes.

As soon as your team relocates to one of the empty art studios nearby, however, it’s apparent that no one is really vibing with this project.

“So… what’s the assignment again?” Taehyung scratches his head. As much as you’d love to scold the boy for his lack of awareness of anything happening in art class, you haven’t been in the proper mindset to give the project any thought either.

“Something about drawing ourselves based on how others perceive us?” Jungkook yawns. “Or was it drawing each other’s portrait?”

“The first one, I think,” you say. “It doesn’t really make a difference when Jungkook’s gonna end up drawing Taehyung’s portion anyway.”

“True,” the boys say together. If there’s one thing you’ve learned from your art class shenanigans, it’s that the more you get to know someone, the easier it is to understand them and their actions—even if they’re completely different from you like Taehyung.

“If that’s the case, let’s hurry up and let each other know how we perceive one another. I have a doubleheader later on that I’d really hate to miss,” Taehyung nods in satisfaction at his clever wording for what you presume to be back-to-back one night stands. “I’ll start: Y/N, there’s not much I know about you besides the fact that you’re unfriendly, but I think that’s intentional. Like you’re hiding a dark secret or something. Jungkook, if you weren’t so shy, I’m sure you’d get laid more often.”

“Let’s not sugarcoat anything,” you roll your eyes. “I would say you, Taehyung, abuse your charm to get what you want. You use sleeping around as an excuse to avoid responsibility. And you embrace it because you fear that that’s the only thing people will ever acknowledge you for.”

“I’m not usually a masochist, but I kind of like it when you roast me like that, Y/N,” Taehyung shrugs it off, though you know you’ve hit the mark. Everyone has a poker face, and Kim Taehyung is no exception. To take the attention off of himself, he throws an arm around his favorite art buddy. “Roast this guy next.”

You glance over at Jungkook who’s in the midst of adding to your roast on Taehyung. It’s interesting to see how differently he acts with Taehyung, with you, and with everyone else. The more he knows someone, the less he withholds. If he knew you more, you wonder what he’d tell you. “I agree that if Jungkook weren’t so shy, there’d be more potential for a lot of things, but-”

Buzz! Taehyung looks down at his phone. “Well, that’s my cue. Jungkook, Y/N, you know what to do~”

“Have fun at your doubleheader,” you wave off your incompetent teammate until he’s out of sight. “Should we be enabling him like this?”

“Probably not. But even I can’t say no to that charm of his.” Jungkook sighs as he pulls out a blank sheet of bristol paper. In what feels like an instant, several dots and lines transform into a general outline of Taehyung’s face. “I’m surprised you haven’t fallen for his charm yet… unless…?”

“Look, I get the appeal of a smoothtalker who walks with confidence, but Taehyung really isn’t my type,” you laugh.

“Still, I’m a little envious of him.” Jungkook draws Taehyung a nice and natural wink. “Because he isn’t afraid to chase after what he wants.”

You want to tell the boy that he should chase after whatever it is he wants, but you know that’s easier said than done. After all, you know exactly how it feels to take that leap of faith, only to fall short before reaching the dream you so desired. So all you can do is nod and start working on your own portrait.

For about five whole minutes, you try to sketch out a decent upside-down egg shape for your head, but it always comes out a little lopsided or rough around the edges. Once you’ve got a little mountain of eraser shaving piling up, you decide it’s time to sneak a peek at Jungkook’s sketch to get an idea of how a well-seasoned artist draws a proper face.

What you see instead, however, is the boy staring back at your mountain of eraser shavings. You swear you hear a little pft come out of his mouth. The nerve.

“Hold your pencil like this,” he says, holding his own pencil with his pinky sticking out.

You replicate his grip, wiggling the pinky. “Is this some sort of weird pinky promise that artists do?”

Before Jungkook can even respond, your pinky is already linked to his. Funny how his finger curled around yours as if it were the most normal thing to do, but his burning cheeks say otherwise. You might’ve jumped the gun on this one.

After blinking at the empty pinky promise for a good three seconds, the boy finally lets go. “Use that pinky to steady your hand as you sketch.”

“Oh… right…” You feel a wildfire spreading across your own cheeks. Your dumbass somehow misinterpreted a drawing technique for something as childish as a pinky promise! Whether it’s because you’re flustered or just shitty at art, you fumble around to get your pencil on the paper. “…How do I do it again?”

Rather than trying to explain or demonstrate it to you, Jungkook motions for you to come closer. So you do. He takes your hand and individually sets each finger onto your pencil like a guitar teacher helping their student find the right chord position.

You’re pleasantly surprised by how gentle his touch is. Rather than forcing your fingers to conform to the conventional ways of an artist, he gives them the little push they need to find their own place along the length of the pencil—wherever is most comfortable for you.

Once you’ve got a good grip, Jungkook guides your pencil back to the canvas with your pinky just barely touching the drawing surface. “Now try drawing the outline of your face again.”

You do as you’re told and see immediate results. Although it’s not a perfect egg, your lines are noticeably smoother as if your skin had just been cleared. Jungkook gives you and your improved egg a thumbs-up, which you return with a thumbs-up of your own.

As you both resume your portraits, you can’t help but wonder if it was the tiny adjustment of how you held your pencil that made the difference. Or if it was Jeon Jungkook himself. You suppose only time will tell.

Several hours later, Jungkook has finished Taehyung’s portrait, you still need to color yours in, and an announcement goes off through the intercom.

“Due to the art auction charity event tonight, this building will be closing in ten minutes. Thank you.”

You groan. This is the worst case scenario for your damn group project. Because if you’re kicked out of the studio, you won’t have access to all of the necessary art supplies.

Unless…?

You exchange glances with the most devoted artist you know.

Jungkook’s apartment is not exactly how you imagined a weeby Snow stan’s habitat to look. There’s not a trace of Snow, nor is there a hint of magic anime girls floating around. But the one thing you did correctly predict is the amount of art scattered across the boy’s room.

Everywhere you look, you’re blown away by something different from the last. A painted city landscape detailed enough to be mistaken for an actual photo, a busy abstract pattern that makes the little wheels in your head spin, the familiar animation booklet of the flower in the snow, and an interesting little doodle that doesn't seem to scream “college art project”.

You try to make sense of what appears to be the chaos that ensues when the worlds of mathematics and music collide. Half of the basic times tables chart is replaced with values represented by music notes. The math nerd in you laughs when you see that a sixteenth note is correctly placed where two quarter notes align. Similarly, the music sheet on the other side of the doodle has a time signature of “75%” aka ¾ time aka the rhythm of a waltz.

“How old were you when you drew this one?” You point to the artwork titled Math Musician written in tiny font at the bottom corner next to the boy’s initials.

Jungkook chuckles, probably out of embarrassment. “I think I was ten.”

“Imagine being a talented artist at age ten. Can’t relate,” you clown yourself as you pull out your unfinished portrait from your art bag. In addition to looking “unfriendly”, your drawn face is rather lifeless and more so demonic for some reason. Hopefully some color will bring more dimension and life back into your flesh.

Just then, you realize you’ve made a fatal mistake.

“Umm, Jungkook?” you continue to stare down at your mistake. “I forgot to factor in your opinion of me into my portrait and now I just look unfriendly like Taehyung said.”

Jungkook tilts his head to get a better look at your monstrosity. His reaction could go one of three ways: he could laugh and give you a hard time about it, he could help you find a solution, or he could do both.

“You definitely nailed the ‘unfriendly’ part,” he snickers. “The RBF is strong with this one.”

“So you agree that I’m unfriendly?” On one hand, that would be good because you won’t have to revise your portrait if Jungkook shares the same opinion as Taehyung. On the other hand, you don’t want Jungkook to have that opinion of you.

“Not necessarily,” he says. “I think if people looked beyond your unfriendly demeanor, they’d find someone very different.”

Before you can ask the boy to elaborate, he has already left and come back with the solution to your problem: fancy coloring markers.

“Since you already drew your appearance based on Taehyung’s opinion, you can color it in based on my opinion, if that makes it easier.” Jungkook hands you an assortment of markers, though a large portion of them are just different shades of one color in particular. Yellow.

Yellow was the last color you were expecting. You expected cooler and darker tones like blues or greys to match your ice queen personality. But yellow? Yellow, to you, has always meant bright and happy.

“Yellow is a happy color, isn’t it?” You start swatching each shade of yellow to see how they translate onto a white canvas. Your favorite shade out of the bunch is the soft pale one called Banana Milk, but that still doesn’t mean it suits you. To prove your point, you hold up your unfriendly demon portrait to your actual face and pout. “Do either of these faces look happy to you, Jungkook?”

“No, but they do look silly.” The boy cracks a smile at your humor. “In a good way.” The way he smiles so brightly plants a dangerous little seed in your head. Maybe the yellow is meant to represent not how he perceives your feelings, but rather, how he perceives his own feelings for you.

By the time evening comes, you’ve shaded in every inch of your canvas, completing your portion of the portrait project. You were right—the bright colors really did help bring life back into your face, and there’s less of a demonic aura about it now.

It also looks like one big contradiction: an unfriendly-looking face with a cheerful brightness around it. But that’s probably what Jungkook was referring to when he said you were very different beneath your unfriendly mask.

As you stretch out your arms and yawn, you peek over at the boy’s progress with his portrait. He stares down at his markers scattered across the floor, pushing his long locks out of his eyes, in search of his next color. From the small portion that he has colored so far, you notice a big difference between his portrait and yours. While your color scheme is bright and flashy like a star, Jungkook’s is soft and subtle to mimic his shy and lowkey personality.

“Use this,” you toss him the Banana Milk marker and pull a scrunchie off your wrist, “and this too.”

Jungkook places the pale yellow marker down right on the area he’ll color next. He doesn’t, however, know what to do with the foreign hair accessory in his palm. He just blinks at it.

With a dramatic sigh, you join the boy on the floor and take back the scrunchie. Like a puppy with long bangs poking its eyes, he lets you comb your fingers through his hair before tying a tiny sprout on top of his head.

“So this is what the world looks like,” he nods, as if his long hair had greatly hindered his view of the world in front of him. At the same time, he spots the finished product of your portrait. “Your self-portrait is a lot different from how I would draw you.”

“I would’ve appreciated a compliment for my hard work, but go ahead and insult me, Jeon.” You square up.

“Oh sorry. You did a phenomenal job, Y/N.” He doesn’t even try to put effort into masking his sarcasm as pity praise. But that’s expected in how he hasn’t missed a single opportunity to tease you and your shitty art. “It’s just interesting how differently others interpret us from how we interpret ourselves.”

Now you’re curious. “How would you draw me then?”

“You want to see?” Jungkook pushes his own portrait aside and starts digging around for a sketchbook with a blank page to spare. What possesses him to prioritize a drawing of you before his own portrait that’s due in less than 24 hours? You won’t allow that.

“I want to see it after our project is finished, please,” you pull his unfinished portrait back in front of him before making yourself comfy on the boy’s bed. “In the meantime, I’ll be reading you-know-what.”

“Smut?” The boy has a dirty mind, it seems.

“Unless Witch Hazel plans on getting a little smutty, no, I will not be reading smut.” With a hmph, you scroll through jk.seagull’s blog. “I wonder if the new chapter is posted yet.”

Jungkook, too, picks up his phone with wide eyes when he hears you say “new chapter”. Your hype and excitement around the fanfic must be rubbing off on him.

But unfortunately for you, there is no new post since the one you saw before class. You make a sad booboo face, but it isn’t the end of the world either. You’ll just have to reread the series from the beginning as you wait for either Witch Hazel to be updated or Jungkook to finish the project. Whichever happens first.

“Wait, I think the seagull guy just posted something.”

You’ve never jumped onto your phone so quick when Jungkook mentions the seagull guy. It isn’t a new chapter of Witch Hazel, but instead another small text post.

“sorry for not updating witch hazel today like i said i would!! i was bombarded with an unexpected art assignment;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;”

Your sad booboo face disappears. It seems you’re not the only one struggling to find balance between the arts and the need to satisfy others. “Isn’t it funny that he’s an art student too?”

“Haha, yeah…” Jungkook’s voice fades as he returns to his portrait.

“Maybe that’s why I like his work so much,” you say, clicking back to the very first chapter of Witch Hazel where Snow is helping out those who she had unintentionally scared away with her witchcraft. “He just gets it.”

“He gets what?”

With the biggest yawn, you shrug because you don’t really know how to put it into words. It just feels as though you and him think alike. And the thought of that is comforting enough to put you to rest until Jungkook finishes up the project.

“Y/N.” You hear things shuffling around in your half-asleep state. When you rise from mysterious pile of blankets on top of you, you see Jungkook putting his art supplies away and clearing space on the floor for him to camp out since you’ve apparently claimed his bed.

“Did you finish?” You check the time in the dimly lit room, and you’re shocked to see it’s past midnight.

“Yeah.” He pulls your scrunchie out of his hair and drops it into your palm. “Thank you for your service.”

“Keep it.” You slide the hair tie onto the boy’s wrist when you notice he looks a little different somehow. The hoodie he was wearing earlier is replaced with a plain white tee, and his torn jeans have become grey sweatpants. The unspoken reality of you stay over at the boy’s apartment is slowly becoming realized. “In exchange, I’d like to see how you’d draw me.”

“Already done,” he says, jogging to his desk and back to you with a page from his sketchbook in hand. “I drew you as a superhero.”

“What kind of superhero?” You kick the blankets off of you and reach for the drawing, but of fucking course, Jungkook pulls it back real quick just when you were about to snatch it. “Let me see!”

He keeps it hidden behind his back for a while until he gets a little too cocky and dangles it above where you’re sitting on the bed. It would be too predictable for you to reach for the hand with drawing in it, so you decide to aim for the other arm to trap him in.

But rather than latching onto his arm, you catch only a piece of the scrunchie around his wrist, causing you both to lose balance. Your back hits the soft bedding as you stare up into the eyes of the boy who just so happened to land on top of you. Aha, you finally figure out why he looked a little different after you woke up. No glasses, just his handsome brown eyes.

You’d give yourself a pat on the back for figuring that out if you weren’t distracted by the drawing of you as a “superhero”. You were expecting something tough like the Avengers or Sailor Moon or even Izuku Midoriya. But instead you see someone who looks very much like yourself with a guitar and yellow flower crown.

“That’s not a superhero,” you say quietly.

“There are people who would feel otherwise.” Jungkook plops down next to you on his stomach.

“Like who?”

“Like people you share your music with.”

You bite your lip before rolling off the bed to run and get something. When you hop back onto the bed, you drop a pencil into Jungkook’s hand make him hold it with his pinky out like he had shown you earlier. You do the same with another pencil and link your pinky to his once more.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #btsboulangerie #jungkook fanfic #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook #bts #bangtan #witch hazel

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sineala · 4 years ago

Text

Civil War: Script Book

I finally read something and have a proper review for all of you! In case you're curious about the contents of the Civil War script book, I have some thoughts on it here as well as some excerpts of the bits that are probably most exciting and/or useful to 616 Steve/Tony fandom.

On the face of it, Civil War: Script Book is exactly what it sounds like -- a book collecting the final drafts of the scripts of the main Civil War comic book series. Issues one to seven. Yep. All of them. "But Sine," you might ask, "why would I want that when I have already read Civil War?" Well, there are a few reasons. One is that you might just be the kind of person who finds it interested to read comic scripts and compare them to the published material, to see what kind of directions and detail the artist is given, and so on. The other reason is that it is interesting from a fannish perspective -- there is a lot of behind-the-scenes commentary, as well as Mark Millar's original pitch for the series and his first draft for Civil War #1.

The book is laid out in a way that is about as visually exciting as you could hope for a collection of scripts to be. The script itself is on the verso pages. Occasional significant lines are highlighted in yellow, with red arrows drawn to the recto pages where they've reproduced the art that goes with those lines. The recto pages also contain commentary from Mark Millar (the author of Civil War) and Tom Brevoort (the editor at Marvel who, relevantly, was responsible for overseeing the entire Civil War event).

And there's a lot in the commentary that fandom might enjoy knowing about. Disclaimer: the commentary is not new; it was all culled from various promotional interviews, but this is the first time it has been collected in one place in this form. And, okay, to be fair, some of the commentary is Millar rhapsodizing about how much he enjoys splash pages with large numbers of superheroes on them, and also how much he likes fight scenes, but there's more than that. For example, we learn -- although you might already have heard this -- that in the very beginning stages of planning, they thought Steve would be pro-Registration, but ultimately decided against it because they didn't think Steve would be in favor of arresting his friends.

(And as another authorial-intent tidbit that may be of interest to a few of you, Brevoort says that Millar -- who is also the author of the original two Ultimates miniseries, as I'm sure you know -- says that, in his mind, if Civil War had happened in the Ultimate universe, Ults Steve would absolutely have been pro-Registration.)

(One more note on authorial intent: Millar says Steve would not have brought the shield down in the final fight.)

It's also interesting seeing both Brevoort's and Millar's opinion on issues that have since become controversial in fandom meta -- the smaller question of what the SHRA actually does, and the big big question, of course, of which side anyone is on. Which side the event is on. Whether it was intentionally slanted in any way.

There has been talk in fannish meta that it's hard to evaluate CW as an event because we aren't given a clear definition in canon of what restrictions the SHRA would actually impose on superhumans -- for example, everyone with powers is forced to register, but are they actually forced to work for SHIELD? Well, in case you were wondering, both Brevoort and Millar seem pretty clear that this is not the case. This is what Brevoort has to say:

The SHRA isn't an organization, it's a federal law. It requires anybody possessing superhuman abilities to register themselves and those abilities with duly appointed agents of the government. Additionally, if an individual intends to use those super-normal abilities as an independent peace officer, they must qualify on a training evaluation, be licensed and submit to some level of oversight in terms of their activities.

I hope that's helpful to someone in fandom, the next time you want to know what the SHRA does. So the answer looks like, yeah, SHIELD has to know about you even if you're the guy whose power is that you can barf up anything you can imagine (I am still not sure why this is the deus-ex-machina ending that Secret Empire went for but that's the subject of another post), but you don't have to join the Initiative unless you actually want to be a superhero.

And then there's the question of the balance of the event. While fandom as a whole generally seemed to perceive Tony as having been on the wrong side, Brevoort says he thinks that they came off as pretty equal in the main series, but that a lot of the tie-ins may have been slanted in favor of anti-Reg because he wanted to let the writers of the tie-ins "tell the truth as they saw it," and that furthermore a lot of the anti-Reg-favoring issues came out early in the event and helped solidify the opinion. He does say that if he were to do it again he would have rearranged the order of some of the tie-ins and asked some of the writers "to perhaps rein in their depictions of Tony a little bit."

So there. That's the word from Marvel, on both of those topics. On to the rest of this book!

The original pitch by Millar, plotting out the whole event, is also an interesting read, in terms of what changed and what stayed the same. They were originally throwing around a lot of ideas with the Hulk, which as far as I can tell mostly got recycled into Planet Hulk/World War Hulk slightly later on. The inciting event (the Stamford incident in the final version, obviously) hadn't been completely settled on, and they knew they'd have to kill someone (so as to make the event have an impact), but they weren't sure who; later on, they obviously decided on Goliath. What's more, it's clear from reading the rest of the commentary that Millar and Brevoort consider Goliath's death the turning point of the narrative, where the stakes are really raised. I find that interesting; in the parts of fandom I hang out with, the big turning points that come up in conversation tend to be pretty much (a) the EMP and (b) the final fight.

The other thing that's really weird is that... Steve doesn't die. What happens in the original pitch is that there's an evil senator with technology to depower all the superheroes, and Steve basically takes one for the team and stops the final fight by destroying the technology and in the process, losing the serum. There is then some discussion about who should be Cap after that -- whether it should be Bucky or Clint, for example. But skinny Steve basically heads off into the sunset at the end as Registration takes hold, and they plan to keep him deserumed for a year or two until the movie comes out, for that sweet sweet MCU synergy.

Is there anything in the pitch I would have loved to have seen? Hell, yeah. Check this out:

The whole situation is getting nuts and there's a clear war now going on between the super heroes, both equally convinced that they're doing the right thing. It all builds up to a big climax at the end of the fourth issue as Tony wakes up in bed to find Cap sitting on his chest and warning him to call off the dogs. He has to release these super-people from prison or Cap will have to take action. This is a last moment of sanity before all hell breaks loose in issue five and, since Tony believes with all his heart that they need licenses, he tells Cap to go [fuck] himself. Thus, the war is on and both sides are playing for keeps.

Would I pay CASH MONEYS for an emotionally-fraught conversation between Steve and Tony that takes place in Tony's bed with Steve sitting on Tony's chest? Boy howdy! I sure would!

So, you know, I'm sad that that didn't make it into the final draft. The rest of the pitch is pretty meh other than that.

The final bit of content exclusive to this book -- other than the pitch -- is the original draft of the script for Civil War #1 and, well, it would have been... slightly different. First off, there's no Stamford incident. There is an inciting event in which the New Warriors are in a fight for the purposes of reality TV and it gets out of control -- so that part is the same -- but it takes place in Bellport, Long Island, and the sole victim is Happy Hogan, who gets shot in the head and dies.

Naturally, you can see how this would bring Tony on board to the pro-Registration side. Also ardently pro-Registration in this draft is Simon Williams (yes, Wonder Man), who is running for political office and is leveraging this to boost his popularity. Being as Wonder Man isn't particularly popular, I have to say I'm glad that they took that out.

The big-impact scene of Steve's confrontation on the helicarrier -- you know, the one where he jumps out the window and rides a fighter jet down? -- is still there, but in this draft, Fury is still running SHIELD, though Hill is present. The commentary indicates that the role was switched to Hill for the final version because they felt that Fury would be too pro-superhero and specifically too pro-Cap to fill the position. I understand why they did this, but I think the first-draft showdown has a lot more impact coming from people who have been comrades as long as Nick and Steve have in 616:

CAPT AMERICA: I AM NOT RATTING OUT MY FRIENDS! FURY: Fingers on your triggers, boys. Any sudden moves and I want the captain tasered. CAPT AMERICA: Damn you to hell for this, Nick. FURY: Damn you for for making me do it.

See? So much more emotional!

The issue wraps up essentially the same way as the published version, with Tony in a Cabinet meeting with the president, explicitly endorsing Registration -- so, yeah, the main themes are mostly there, but a lot of the details are different.

Overall, I have to say that if you're interested in the details of the Civil War event, and you like behind-the-scenes information and extras, this book is worth a purchase, but not necessarily to the point where you should go hunting it down. I think I got mine for $5, which seems reasonable, and I have definitely gotten $5 worth of Civil War informational value out of it.

#posts i actually wrote #marvel #marvel 616 #stevetony

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the-awkward-outlaw · 4 years ago

Note

Arthur meeting the reader in Valentine and them getting along great, but then finding out mid fight (or mid kidnap of arthur if you like) that reader is an O'Driscoll 🙊🙈🙉

Man, here I was thinking I could make this one short and sweet, but then I spit out 13 pages.....

Masterlist

Read on AO3

You smile as Arthur walks away, feeling elevated. You’ve never been so happy since you got together with him. Walking down the street, you think about the next time you might see him again, which you hope will be soon.

Arthur’s the perfect companion, although he has obligations elsewhere that keep him away from you for periods of time. You are the same way though, but you’ll never tell him. Arthur thinks you’re just a bounty hunter, hence why you’re so quiet about where you live. You told him you’ve captured plenty of gang members and turned them in (a partial truth), and you’re afraid to tell anyone where you live in fear that a fellow gang member of one of the people you’ve turned in will come after you.

Sure, you do hunt down bounties for extra money, but it’s not your main occupation. You’ve told Arthur a lot about yourself, but you’ll never tell him you’re part of the O’Driscoll gang. No one can know that, your freedom depends on it. Not only that, but you’re scared of how Colm will react if he finds out you’ve told anyone.

Colm O’Driscoll, the leader of your gang. He’s a ruthless, blood thirsty bastard, but you know nothing else. There are times you’re not even sure why you’ve stuck with the gang so long with no intentions to get out. Perhaps it’s because Colm has drilled one idea into everyone: if you leave the gang, you’ll leave in a pine box. The O’Driscoll gang is a lifelong commitment.

You’ve wanted to tell Arthur for weeks about the truth of yourself, but you just can’t do it. Colm would shoot you without blinking an eye if he found out you told anybody. However, you love Arthur, more than you’ve ever loved anyone. You’ve known him for a few weeks now and he knows everything else about you. You’ve also done just about everything with him, including getting yourselves out of a fair number of scrapes.

You mount up on your horse, your mind still full of the recent memories you’ve just made with Arthur. You’re excited to see him again already, despite him having just left Valentine. This past meeting had been particularly steamy. Arthur recently showed you his skills as an artist, and when you showed how much you loved and appreciated them, he went a bit further. The two of you had booked a room in the hotel and things were getting hot and heavy between you when Arthur suddenly stopped. He asked you if he could draw you, to keep a picture of you for himself during the long periods he can’t see you. Smiling, you simply couldn’t resist, so Arthur drew you naked on the bed, ready and patiently waiting for him. It’d been an exhilarating time as you’d gotten extremely excited and even inpatient. You just wanted him to jump right in, and when he finally did, it was one of the most intense sessions you’d ever had in your life.

You try to push the thoughts from your mind, not wanting to blush for no reason in the presence of strangers. You kick your horse and get her running so you can head back to Hanging Dog ranch, which is where the O’Driscolls have been holding themselves up for the past few weeks.

When you get to the ranch, you find that Colm and several of his men are gone. Odd. He’d mentioned just before you left that he was planning a big job that he needed everyone’s help with. Hell, that’s the only reason you returned. Ever since you met Arthur, you’ve been feeling less loyalty to Colm. Arthur makes you feel special, makes you feel wanted. Colm is the opposite. He makes you feel like you’re merely tolerated. You don’t think he treats you like this because you’re a woman, he treats just about everyone like this. But it doesn’t make you want to stay, especially after Arthur.

After dismounting, you walk up to Simons, one of the higher ups in the gang.

“Where’s Colm? Thought we was doin’ a job,” you say.

“We are. Said we needed one last piece before we can pull it off. But you do have a job.” He calls over a few more men. “Colm said before he left he wanted me and a few others to go to a cabin Colm found just north of the Upper Montana. Wants us to wait there.”

“Why?” you say.

“Don’t ask questions,” Simons snaps.

You swallow and straighten yourself. You know that Colm nor any of his higher men have patience for questions. They expect everyone to just do their jobs with no fuss.

“Sorry, sir,” you say.

“Good. Now mount up, all of you. Colm wants us there tonight. Says he’ll have some cargo.”

You climb up into your saddle once again and your group heads off. A few hours later, you see the small cabin where Colm wants you stationed. It’s a tiny property not far from the railroad with a small shed standing beside the house. You notice the two large doors leading to the underground cellar, but think nothing of it.

Simons dismounts and starts barking orders. He instructs you to go to town, pick up a few provisions and then he stuffs a list into your hand. Sighing, you mount right back up and head to town. You don’t know why this can’t wait until morning, the sun’s nearly set. But you know better than to argue. You won’t quickly forget the many bruises you’ve received from Simons’s strikes.

When you get to Strawberry, you decide to take your time. It was easy being part of this gang before you met Arthur. Maybe it was because they were the only kind of family you ever really knew. But now that you know Arthur and he’s described the people he lives with (without disclosing that he’s part of a gang too), it’s harder than ever to be loyal to Colm. More and more you’ve been thinking of asking Arthur if you could find a safe haven with him, somewhere Colm would have a hard time getting his hands on you.

In the general store, you give the clerk your list and he gets his shop boy to collect your items. While they’re bustling about, you inspect a small display set up with pastel pencils. You wonder if Arthur would like them. He could do some real magic with colors. You buy them and tuck them deep in your saddlebag to ensure no one in your gang discovers them.

However, even though it’s past nightfall, you still don’t want to go back to the others, so you take a bath in the hotel. In the hot water, your mind returns to Arthur. If only he were here now with you. You imagine he is, wrapping his strong arms around you, his lips brushing against your temple. When you’re with him, you feel like you don’t have to be tough, that you can relax. He makes you feel protected and safe. The exact opposite of the O’Driscolls, who expect you to be tough and quick to pull your trigger.

Finally enough time has passed and you have to go back before anyone gets suspicious. When you see the small cabin, you see that more people have joined. Colm’s horse is tied up with the others. You sigh and hitch your own, taking the supplies from the store to the cabin. Colm walks out of the cellar, snapping the doors shut.

“You,” he says, snapping his fingers at you. “Get some food cookin’, I’m starving.”

You nod and go into the cabin to find things to cook with, including a large cast-iron pot. You take it outside and set it over the fire that someone set up, and then you begin preparing the food.

As you cut and season, some of the others pass by, talking to one another. Colm’s gone into the house. Typical that he would go and relax somewhere cool while the rest of you work.

“What’s Colm’s plans for this bastard again?” McMillan says in his thick accent to Simons.

“I told you, McMillan. You need to learn how to listen. He’s gonna lure Dutch out with him then turn him into the authorities in Blackwater. When we get all that money, we’re gonna hightail it to Mexico.”

“I don’t wanna go to Mexico. I wanna go home.”

“Well, get over it. We all wanna go home, but it ain’t happenin’.”

Simons stalks off, looking irritated. McMillan stands near you, lighting a cigarette. Dutch, they’d said. There’s only one man they could’ve meant, Dutch Van der Linde. You’ve been with the gang long enough to know his name. Colm’s greatest adversary. There’s been a feud between Colm and Dutch for as long as you can remember. Something about Colm’s brother and a girl Dutch was associated with, but you know little else. Dutch has stolen plenty of scores from Colm though, he’s been itching to get a leg up on him for a while. Now it seems he has, if he has someone who’s part of Dutch’s gang.

“McMillan,” you say softly. “Who’s he got down in the cellar?”

McMillan’s a good guy, or at least he’s one of the better ones in the gang. He doesn’t mind questions and he’s always up for a laugh. He walks over to talk.

“We snagged one of Dutch’s boys, guess he’s one of the bigger ones too. Dutch’s right hand man, I guess. Got him tied up in the cellar, gonna lure Dutch out wit’ him.”

“Really? This bastard got a name?” you ask, though you don’t really care. You’ve no feelings towards Dutch and his boys.

“Sure. Think I heard them call ‘im Arthur.”

Your stomach suddenly drops and the knife slips, nearly cutting your finger. “Arthur? Arthur what?”

You hope to God he doesn’t say the last name you’re thinking. There must be plenty of Arthur’s, right? It’s a popular name.

“Uh, Morgan. Arthur Morgan,” McMillan scratches his chin, then he looks at you. “Ya feelin’ a’right? You’re real pale.”

You swallow, feeling your eyes bulging. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

Luckily McMillan gets called away and you’re left alone to ponder. They’ve grabbed your Arthur. He’s never told you he was one of Dutch’s boys. You’re not angry about that though, figuring he must not have told you for the same reasons you told him nothing about being an O’Driscoll. Fear grips you hard. You can’t let Colm do this, you won’t be able to live with yourself. As the night deepens, you come up with a plan.

At one point, Colm takes his food and goes back down to the cellar. You stay near the door and listen to him talk, and it breaks your heart to hear Arthur’s weak voice respond. It breaks even more when you hear Colm hitting him. You can’t stand it, and suddenly you’re not in charge of your body. You dash down the stairs, whipping out your pistol and smashing the butt of it into Colm’s head, knocking him out.

Arthur, hanging upside down, a sack around his head, looks up at you. He stutters your name, coughing a little. “How… how you know I was here.”

“I’ll explain later. Come on.” You act quickly, grabbing a file from the table and jabbing it into the lock holding Arthur up. It clicks and he drops to the ground, grunting. You lean down, trying to keep the fear at bay, and whip the sack off his head. It’s then that you see the blood.

“Oh God, you’ve been shot. Arthur,” you whimper.

“It’s nothin’.”

You help him stumble to the seat, perfectly aware that at any second, one of the others could come down and kill you. However, you know this bullet needs to come out, but you don’t have the time.

“Arthur, where can I take you? Where’s Dutch?” you say quickly.

“You… you know Dutch?”

“Where is he?” you say with more urgency.

He swallows heavily. “Clemens Point. Scarlett Meadows.”

You’re not entirely sure where that is, but it must be near Rhodes. You help him stand up and drape his unhurt arm around your shoulders, then you take your pistol back out. You’re going to have to shoot your way out, but you don’t care. These men you’ve run with, they’re hardly more than strangers to you. Most of them you don’t like because they constantly talk about the horrible things they do to the women they pay for. You know it’s only because of your own position in the gang that prevents them from doing the same to you.

“Okay, Arthur. I’m getting you out of here.”

You heave and help Arthur walk up the stairs. The moment you get out, Simons sees you.

“What th-”

BAM!

Your bullet slams into his skull and the shooting starts. However, you’re severely outnumbered and it doesn’t help you’re being weighed down by Arthur. Then you feel your other pistol being tugged out of your holster and he aims it, killing McMillan. You have no time though to really fight off the others, you start hobbling to the horses. As Arthur shoots the O’Driscolls coming towards you, you pat his horse.

“Arthur, can you ride?” you grunt, your back hurting.

“I’ll try,” he says. He ends up killing the last visible O’Driscoll, so you help him climb into the saddle. You climb up in front of him so he can lean forward and rest on your shoulder. As you begin turning away from the cabin, you whistle for your horse and you ride off.

Hours pass and you finally make your way into Lemoyne. Arthur’s been in and out of consciousness most of the time, but when you get into Scarlett Meadows, he wakes up enough to begin directing you. He points you down a path with a dead tree at the beginning of it, so you turn the horse down it and go into the thick wood.

As you get closer to the lake, you see the lights of fires between the trunks, and as you get nearer to them, tents and wagons. People are milling about.

“Arthur!” a thin, gangly man says, standing up from a bedroll, throwing down his book and running over. He’s accompanied by a young woman in a dark pink dress and another woman, who’s older, her dark hair streaked with gray.

You begin dismounting and help Arthur down, feeling very out of place. You’re immediately shoved aside as the others grab Arthur and begin hauling him over to a tent. You follow a few steps behind and watch as they begin performing surgery to get the bullet out. A tall, dark haired man approaches, looking worried.

“Ma’am, I wanna thank you for bringing him back. Some… rival bastards I know got hold of him.”

“I know, it was the O’Driscolls,” you say stupidly.

“You know them?” he says.

“We’ve bumped into each other before,” you say, trying to cover your tracks. He seems to buy it.

“Are you Y/N?” the small woman in the pink dress says. “Arthur’s told us about you. Lucky that you found him.”

“Yes. My name’s Y/N. He’ll be okay, right?”

She sighs. “I… I think so, long as he don’t get sick. Why don’t you go be with him? Ms. Grimshaw’s got the bullet out and Strauss is just stitchin’ him up.”

You go into Arthur’s tent, feeling dozens of eyes on you. The man named Strauss is busy, sewing the large hole in Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur is still awake, and he smiles when he sees you.

Strauss pays you no mind and he quickly finishes, leaving the seat. You take it and grab Arthur’s hand.

“Thank God you found me,” Arthur says softly. You don’t hear him, but Dutch has walked up behind you.

“It wasn’t hard,” you say, feeling like crying. You need to come clean about your past.

“How did you know I was there?” Arthur asks.

“I, um… Arthur, I… I’ve been lying to you. I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t tell you for the same reasons you didn’t tell me you were part of a gang. But I’ve been running with the O’Driscolls for-”

You’re suddenly yanked up from the seat and slammed into the wagon, the dark haired man’s face inches from yours.

“You’re an O’Driscoll?” he hollers, his arm pressing into your throat. You claw at him, tring to breathe. “You were with them! You did this to him!”

“N-n-o,” you sputter. People are running over and watching, but no one’s helping you as the man chokes you.

“You are! I just heard you. You’re an O’Driscoll!”

Someone finally grabs the man and yanks him off of you. Your rescuer turns out to be Arthur, who crawled out of bed to yank him off of you.

“Dutch! Ya can’t kill her!”

“You heard her, Arthur!” Dutch hollers, standing up as you hunker down, massaging your throat. “She’s an O’Driscoll!”

“Yeah, but she didn’t do nothin’ to get me caught, Dutch! She saved me from them!”

“How do we know she isn’t bringing the others with her, Arthur? How do we know this isn’t part of their plans?”

Everyone looks at you, sitting on the ground. Of course, Arthur has no answer.

“Tie her up. If those bastards come, she’s the first to die.”

“No, Arthur… Dutch, please…” you begin, but two pairs of hands are grabbing you and hauling you away. No one helps as you scream for Arthur to help you. On the borders of the camp, your tied up to a tree with your back pinned to it. You plead with the big man with his bushy brown beard as he ties you up, but he says nothing. Afterwards, you’re left alone.

*************************************

Days pass with you tied up to the tree. You haven’t seen Arthur since you were pulled away from him, but you’ve seen the others plenty. All of them have thrown you fierce, hating looks. A little boy came up at one point and started mocking you for crying, calling you a traitor.

There was a time though when a thin man with a twitchy face came up. You recognized him: Kieran. You’ve thought all this time that he was dead. He told you how Arthur captured him and how he was in the same predicament as you until he saved Arthur’s life.

“Yeah, but I’m hated because I saved Arthur’s life,” you said miserably. “I brought him home and… they hate me for it. I hate being an O’Driscoll, but I had no choice. Kieran, please help me.”

He apologized but said there was nothing he could do as he was barely part of the gang himself. A while later, Dutch and the thin, gangly man came up and questioned you.

“Where’s Colm holed up, O’Driscoll?” Dutch growled.

Your lip trembled, you knew it was foolish to tell them where Colm was when they’ll probably end up killing you as soon as you tell them. So you say nothing, despite feeling no loyalty to Colm.

The worst part of being tied up to this tree is that Arthur hasn’t been seen. You know he’s alive based on pieces of conversations you’ve heard from the others, but he hasn’t come to see you. It doesn’t appear that he’s going to try and help you either. Maybe the truth was far worse for him to take than you thought. Perhaps he feels extremely betrayed. You can’t blame him though. How could he not be hurt?

The third day and you’re starting to get sick from lack of water. You can barely hold yourself up anymore, but the rope’s tied you around in such a way that you can’t sit down. You’re bent over, trying not to puke what very little is left in your stomach. You can’t really hear the others very well anymore, your tongue feels swollen and itchy. You just wish someone would come and kill you.

“Here,” a soft voice says close to you. You look up, your puffy eyes taking in the small woman you saw when you first came. She’s holding a tin cup of water. “I asked them to let you go, you did bring Arthur back after all. They don’t wanna listen to me though, but here.”

She holds the tin cup and helps you drink. As you’re halfway through it, another woman with angry eyes hidden beneath a wide hat walks up.

“Don’t give her the satisfaction, Mary-Beth. She’s an O’Driscoll. All those bastards deserve to die.”

“But she brought Arthur back to us,” Mary-Beth says, lowering the cup. “She can’t be all bad.”

“Yeah, until her trap is sprung and they all come to kill us.”

“I… I didn’t bring anyone else with me,” you say in a weak voice. “They don’t know where I am. Colm… wants me dead as much as you all.”

“Whatever, don’t think you can lie to us.”

“Sadie, she’s just-”

“Leave it, Mary-Beth! Now leave her alone.”

Sadie pushes Mary-Beth away and the two women leave, abandoning you to your misery once more.

*******************************************

Two more days have passed and the only thing holding you up is the rope, but it’s digging hard into your wrists. No one’s come to see you since Mary-Beth and Sadie, not even Dutch demanding answers. He’s put out a thicker guard though, expecting the O’Driscolls to come barging in.

It’s night and you’re dozing a bit, not really aware of what’s going around you. Suddenly the ropes break and you fall onto your face. Someone steps up beside you and you expect to feel them hurt you, but instead, strong yet gentle hands pick you up.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Arthur says. He can’t pick you up because of his shoulder, but he helps you hobble over to his tent. You’re so thirst and sick that you can’t say anything. He lays you down in his cot and then he leaves. A moment later, he’s back with a cup of water, which he helps you drink.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you off that tree sooner, darlin’,” he says when you finish drinking, feeling fractionally better.

“Why did you come get me?” you croak.

“Because you’re my girl, darlin’. It’s my job to protect you. I ain’t done right by you these few days, lettin’ you suffer like that. I’m sorry. You saved my life, I know that.”

He shifts you on the bed so he’s lying beneath you and your head is on his good shoulder. You’re still feeling rather ill, but it feels nice to be with him like this. His hand settles on your back and with his heart beating in your ear, you end up drifting off for the first time since you arrived.

In the morning, the little boy runs around the camp, saying you’re gone. Several of the others get up, getting angry because they think you’re gone. Arthur slips out from beneath you and walks out of the tent to do some damage control. You hear his muffled voice, even though you’re not really awake yet.

A few moments later, the flaps of his tent are ripped open and Dutch stands there. Fear instantly grips you and you’re wide awake, scrambling on your cot to try and get away. He looks furious, but Arthur’s right behind him.

“Go easy, Dutch. She saved me, remember that. And she knocked Colm out in the process.”

Dutch glares at you. “Where’s Colm?”

You try making yourself as small as possible in the back corner of Arthur’s cot. “I… I can’t tell you.”

“Why not? Because you’re gonna bring him here? I told you, Arthur, she ain’t doin’ us no favors.”

You lick your lips and look at Dutch, feeling your eyes welling up. “Because you’ll kill me as soon as I tell you.”

This catches Dutch off guard and Arthur pushes past him, looking annoyed. He takes a seat next to you and puts his arm protectively around you.

“No one’s gonna hurt ya, darlin’. I ain’t lettin’ ‘em. I owe you my life and… we ain’t paid you well for your efforts.” He glares up at Dutch.

“She’s an O’Driscoll, Arthur. Y/N, when’s Colm coming for us?”

“Dutch, Colm ain’t comin’. She knocked him out to get to me. Trust me, he’s gonna want her dead after what she done.”

“Then why isn’t she telling us where he is? We can protect her,” Dutch says.

This rubs you the wrong way. “I’m glad to see you protect people by tying them to trees and starving them, Dutch.”

He stammers a bit. “I… We…. we didn’t know if you were setting up a trap for us. Arthur told us about the set up. How do I know you weren’t part of that?”

“I wasn’t. I was told to guard him while we waited for you to come save Arthur. I had nothing to do with him getting captured. I wouldn’t ever let something like that happen to him. Like it or not, Dutch, I love Arthur.”

Arthur squeezes you a little. It’s not the first time he’s heard you say that you love him. Dutch narrows his eyes a bit as though you’re not worthy of loving Arthur. You decide it’s time to end things, so you stand up and stare directly at Dutch.

“Fine, Dutch. You wanna know where Colm is? He’s at Hanging Dog Ranch in Big Valley. There. Now go ahead and shoot me.”

You hold out your arms, surrendering to him. Dutch looks at you in surprise, but Arthur stands up and places himself between the two of you.

“Ain’t no one killin’ no one. Dutch, you got what you wanted. Now you owe Y/N. You owe her for savin’ me, and you owe her for the shit you put her through these past few days.” Arthur jabs his finger at Dutch.

“If she’d given me what I’d asked her for, I wouldn’t have treated her like that, Arthur.”

“Bullshit, Dutch. You didn’t give her a chance to explain herself before you tied her up. You didn’t exactly let her know you weren’t gonna kill her when she finally told you.”

You feel like this might be the first time Arthur and Dutch have been at odds with one another. Dutch’s eyes soften and he looks at you.

“Perhaps you’re right, Arthur, but forgive me for not trusting your girl. I ain’t until I know those bastards are dead.”

He leaves and calls several people over to him, including Sadie. He instructs Arthur to come with him to attack Hanging Dog, and when Arthur tries to argue, Dutch fights back.

“You ain’t stayin’ because you’re too involved with this. If this is a trap for us, she’s gonna try to run. I ain’t lettin’ you allowing her to get away. Ms. Grimshaw! Make sure Y/N stays put!”

The older woman nods and looks pointedly at you. Without another word, most of the men leave the camp and head off.

While they’re gone, you’re under a tight watch. Hell, you can barely move without someone demanding you explain yourself, but as you’re still not feeling well as a result from being starved and dehydrated, you spend most of your time lying in Arthur’s cot. When you’re not sleeping, you examine his things. The photos near his bed. On some ammo crates, you see the picture of you and him that you’d taken weeks ago in a small circular frame. That explains how some of these people recognized you.

A few hours pass and Kieran comes into the tent, holding a bowl of stew. “Here. You should eat somethin’. It ain’t much, but it’s better than Colm’s slop.”

You sit up and take the bowl, glad that the stew’s watery as you’re still wickedly thirsty. However, the stew’s a bit salty, making you cough as it burns your throat. Kieran stays with you.

“These folks ain’t all bad. They seem that way at first. But they’re far more like a family than Colm’s bunch ever were. You’ll see that when you’re here for a while longer.”

“If… If Dutch doesn’t kill me when they get back.”

“He won’t. Dutch ain’t like Colm. He doesn’t dump people the moment they have nothing to give him. Especially with Arthur being so protective of you. You’ll earn a place here, I’m sure. Just give them a chance.”

Not long after this, you end up falling asleep again, now that you finally have food in your belly. Night has fallen before you wake up, but the thing that brings you back is fingers gently rubbing across your forehead. You open your eyes and see Arthur looking down at you, smiling. His right hand is clutching his bad shoulder, but he looks okay otherwise.

“Arthur, are you hurt?”

“Nah. Shoulder just hurts from all the fightin’. We’re all okay though. Darlin’, we got him though. We got the son of a bitch.”

You feel a small weight lift from your shoulders. The thought that Colm would come hunting you down has been a stress. But now it’s replaced with a new one.

“So I guess that’s it then, right?” you say. “I guess it’s time for me to leave.”

“What you talkin’ about, sweetheart?”

“Well, Dutch won’t want me around, will he? I’m an O’Driscoll, after all.”

“No, darlin’, you ain’t. You’re whatever you wanna be. You could be one of us if you wanted. Would sure make me happy if you decided to be.”

You look up at him and smile. “Really? You mean I would be safe here?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Dutch admitted he did a bad thing, tyin’ you up like that. You saved me and you helped us get Colm. He don’t like to admit it, but he owes you a lot now. You’ll quickly earn your place here, especially when these folks start seein’ you the way I see you. They’ll learn how sweet, funny, smart you are. They’ll love you for it. But hopefully not the same way I love you.”

He bends down and kisses you softly. As he does, you feel a sudden sense of peace. Maybe you can find a place to belong, after all these years of wandering, of fighting. Of course, you’ll know that gang life comes with plenty of struggles and the fighting won’t end, but it will be a lot easy to endure with the man you love at your side.

#rdr2 fanfic #red dead fanfic #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female reader #awkward asks

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