#several other instances i am forgetting

[adoctornotatumbl-r]

spock , roughly two seconds before doing something so unhinged no one else has even thought of it : good thing i’m a vulcan and i would never do something irrational or illogical lmaoo

[hirazuki]

Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.

Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??

Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:

[judicent]

What the ever-loving fuck am I ever saying to anyone?

Because whatever the hell it is, I sure as shit don't mean it.

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I think that living in a culture where we expect almost all narratives to exist primarily in a textual form has left us woefully complacent to the intangibility of oral stories, where they still exist.

For instance, when I was a small child, my grandmother would during her visits regale me with episodic installments following fictional characters that, as far as I can tell, were entirely of her own spontaneous devising. The two of these I can remember most clearly are "The Forgettis" and "Rebel and Jim".

The Forgettis was a comedy following the misadventures of an absurdly over-extended family of Italian nationals, The Forgettis, who were cursed with a sort of hereditary amnesia that would cause them to periodically forget all prior context of their lives and invent new ones. After all several dozen of them visited the UK on holiday, they promptly forgot that they were on holiday at all, and settled into an abandoned petrol station on "Gasworks Lane" after their tourist coach stopped there to refuel and they never got back on.

The patriarch of the family, Giuseppe Forgetti, was often at the center of things, but most episodes would involve several family members getting lost and subsequently adapting to fulfill some bizarre new occupation based on whatever they found in their surroundings. A particularly memorable episode involved most of the family leaving the Gasworks, only to return and find it had overgrown into an indoor jungle, and the sole remaining member of the family had adapted into a sort of safari hunter persona, managing the population of unlikely exotic animals that had taken up residence.

Rebel and Jim was a fantasy crime procedural about police constable "Jim" and his talking dog, "Rebel", who would make use of a number of supernatural items and allies to catch ne'er-do-wells. Their signature tool was their flying cloak - a cloak that allowed Jim to fly when worn, so long as Rebel sat on top of his head to also be under the cloak. They were also friends with the "Rock Monster", a sort of granite earth elemental who lived underground, but who was frequently confused with the identically named "Rock Monster", who as best as I remember was a sort of "rock and roll elemental".

These stories were pretty formative to my childhood, looking back, but the sad things is that the above recollections - the most I can recall concretely after thinking for ten minutes or so - are likely all that is recoverable of what I know were some pretty sprawling sagas with many episodic story arcs. I can no longer ask my grandmother, as she passed away from dementia two years ago. I can barely remember any details of Rebel and Jim at all, and I'm fairly sure there were other stories I can't even remember the names of. What I have written above may be the only record of them that will survive into posterity, which seems so sad for something that had a pretty big impact on me and are some of my fondest memories of my grandmother from my childhood.

The really frustrating thing is that I am sure that at one point she made attempts to write parts of these stories down - I remember seeing word documents! - but I have no idea where those would have survived, if at all. As far as I know we don't have any of her old computer hardware from what would have been 15-20 years ago. And that's still so recent! Imagine the equivalent when a story has been lost for several decades or centuries, no matter how impactful in its time.

So much so easily lost. When oral storytelling was the only storytelling form, people knew what was up and would make efforts to memorize and preserve stories. But instead if something isn't written down it so often just slips away.

[mayasaurusss]

Transfem Jackie in the wilderness??

The feeling of you.

Contents: female reader, transfeminine Jackie, angst and comfort, internalized guilt, detailed descriptions of feelings, exploring themes of transexuality, 3rd point of view from Jackie's prespective, vanilla smut, gentlia described vaguely. Not really thought plot.

Words count: 7k/ about 12 pages

Author's note: As you read, this is a transfeminine Jackie oneshot. I wanted to explore themes of self hatred in many ways. Since I am not transexual, I based myself on the expereince someone in my life had to describe various moments in this oneshot. If this might be offensive to anyone, please dm me so I can edit this work. This is the first time in an oneshot where I write full on smut. This might not be very 'sexy' then, so forgive me for that. This oneshot contains vanilla-ish sex, so it might not be everyone's cup of tea. Anon, I'm sorry for the several months long wait, but I wanted to be sure to write something in character for Jackie.

To make reading easier: the italics are charcaters thoughts. First half is from Jackie's 3rd pow and second half (from smut onwards) reader's 3rd pov.

Enjoy everyone!

When you joined the Yellowjackets soccer team, you didn't expect to fall heads over heels with its capitan, Jackie Taylor.

It was a rainy November afternoon when you joined. You had seen Jackie walk around school from time to time, but have never interacted with her this close, for all it was worth, you didn't even know she was the soccer team captain. You joined the team some months after your best friend Vanessa did; she had insisted that it was fun and it would build up your confidence. So, you have joined.

Vanessa had talked about your frail character with Jackie before you joined, telling her that you were insecure in your abilities, so, after the coach had tested you, Jackie choosed to assign you the substitute position of right winger. So, you wouldn't have had to play all the time.

Right before you got introduced to the team, Jackie had talked with you. A look of worry was visible in your eyes and Jackie, even if she didn't know you all that well yet, was slightly worried. For you maybe, yes, but also that you could potentially be more of a burden to the team, if you didn't do well enough. After all, Jackie needs to have as many competent people in her team as she can. You need to grow more confident.

So, she had taken you by the arm and led you to a secluded place right outside of the field's entrance. Jackie had looked up at you and smiled kindly, "Well, are you ready to go?". You had felt incredibly scared and apprehensive that day but when you felt Jackie's hand lightly touch yours, trying to get you out of your head, you felt safe, seen.

That was the first instance of your feelings blooming for Jackie. At every game, she did not ever forget to encourage and praise you for your actions. Even when you didn't perform well, you knew Jackie would always be there to make you feel better.

To her surprise, a year after having joined the team, you were almost a completely different person. Confident, strong and willing to stand up for herself and others. Jackie did have to admit that your change was more than welcome. She could never say it out loud, but whenever she saw you in the changing room, her heart skipped a beat. Of course, Jackie had to maintain her reputation at school.

No one, besides her parents and Shauna, knew that Jackie wasn't who others thought she was. Since she was a child, she had felt like she was missing a core part of herself. It was when she met Shauna that everything changed: with her, Jackie had confessed her worries and secrets and in exchange, got the help to finally become her true self. Her parents weren't as supportive as she thought they were going to be. Sometimes, she saw her mothers sending glances in her direction, which she couldn't decipher as worry or disdain; but she didn't care.

In an attempt to finally convey that image she built of herself, upon entering her new school alongside Shauna, she had seduced Jeff, one of the guys she found less ugly. She wasn't able to fully explore herself before jumping hand in hand with him in the relationship.

The first time and only time she and Jeff have had sex, she didn't dare to make him look. Somewhat, she managed to create an excuse to not strip and only get him off. It was a rather boring and disappointing night. But she hadn't left him, in a way Jackie still felt some kind of odd feeling when she was with him. She couldn't tell if it was love.

This is why she couldn't show herself shy when she was near you. She couldn't risk her image, people would talk if they saw her behaving in a flirtatious way towards you, and Jeff would leave. She knew he was probably cheating on her, but as of right now, she couldn't worry less.

Jackie feels her mind slipping out of consciousness time and time again. She can vaguely feel what is happening near her, bodies bumping on her shoulder and light dimming lower and lower until, behind her eyelids, she can only stare back at the darkness.

Shauna wakes her up, and she's not sure she's completely herself at this point. Her body moves before her mind can process what's happening and just mere seconds later, she falls hard to the forest floor. Just as her cheek comes into hard contact with the naked soil, her mind registers what's happening. Jackie looks behind herself to see something that shakes her to the core and will for the years to come. People, her teammates flooding away from the main entrance of the plane, all gushing out like droplets of the leftover alcohol of the red cup she had drank from last night, at their last party.

Jackie struggles to get back to her feet, her legs giving just as she gets up. Shauna is there, she holds her and runs her fingers on her face, tracing over the bruise that has begun to form. She searches for your face among the others and finds you clutching at your left leg, a scar running down your hips.

Jackie's eyes follow as Shauna gets back into the plane and a feeling of dread fills her heart. She knows that if she doesn't help Shauna, her best friend will die. When she enters into the crashed death trap smoke fills her lungs and her vision. She searches for Shauna, finding her fiddling with something behind her shoulders. For a second she considers slapping Shauna, telling her that she's an idiot and taking her back, but when she hears Vanessa's desperate sobs her brain is filled with fear and horror and something akin to bravery. Her hands brace on either side of the seats and summoning a bravery she didn't know she had, along with Shauna, Jackie manages to open a window of opportunity for Van to slip out. Once the fresh air fills her lungs again and her brain is awake, Jackie searches for you.

Misty had hastily put together various bandages that ran down the entirety of your leg, blood already seeping out and darkening the cloth. Jackie can't even register that she has you in a death grip until she feels your chest moving on hers in an attempt to get more air in your lungs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- '' her words get cut off as you push into her, already wettering the neck of the blue and yellow jacket she wore. Your throat bobs and tears fall from your eyes ``I, I'm scared". Jackie holds you to her chest, sobs threatening to leave her body, "Me too".

The smell of fire and pine needles filled the air around you, the tall trees shielding your view of the night sky. Hours after the disaster, you were surprised to find yourself enjoying your teammates' jokes near the campfire. You would have expected to feel this happy in another situation, but there you were: laughing in the dark night with the corpses of your old friends already starting to decompose back into the deathtrap. Jackie had insisted on sitting near you along Shauna. She kept to herself, having to maintain that image of her authority. Maybe she could be the one aiding the team to take a stand against nature. But in the aftermath of saving Van she had let her selfishness surge again and had protested against her cleanser being used as a sanitizer. She didn't mean to, the words left her mouth before she could understand the gravity of the situation. This wasn't what she was prepared for, her mind wasn't prepared enough to survive, to see the lifeless bodies of her own friends burn and decompose under her eyes.

Jackie had gotten silent for some time and her mouth had tasted the tears that were threatening to fall, but when she had felt your touch linger on her hand, a feeling of calm panic had washed over her. Your eyes stared into hers, understanding, saying 'I feel you, I understand you' and her heart ached. The fear was still clawing at her heart but she tried to subdue it in favor of quietly looking at you, trying to breathe through the hurt. Unbeknownst to her, Shauna's envious eyes had watched the whole interaction with anger boiling over the surface.

That night, Jackie dreams. She dreams of the last game, the leather of the ball comes into hard contact with the white metal of the goal and bounces back away from her and the other team wins. She dreams of a world where she and Shauna are now in her room, sad and bitter, but not here. Not on a cold night. She dreams of a world where she comes back to Jeff, he comforts her by kissing her cheek and whispering sweet, fake nothings to her. She dreams of him finally admitting he cheated, of a world where after months of sadness and thought, she manages to confess the strange feelings she has whenever you're around. She dreams of your lips touching hers.

If only... if only she didn't score, maybe...maybe...

The morning had come by fast, a pale light shone down from the trees and greeted their painful awakening. Jakcie had fallen asleep the night prior cuddled between you and Shauna. All the team had cuddled closer during the night in an effort to maintain as much heat as possible. The soil was scattered with clothes, remaining junk food leftovers, branches and the mechanical remains of the plane. And when she woke up, Jackie had panicked. As quietly as possible she had begun to hyperventilate, the reality of the situation finally kicking in. In an effort to keep calm, to get comforted, Jackie hides her face into your chest and lets her tears fall freely. In your sleep, you cling onto her and for a split moment, her heart bursts out of her chest. It feels like her rib cage has suddenly tightened on her organs and her body has been set aflame. She couldn't feel like this. She shouldn't. And why with you of all people? Why you, and not Jeff? Why you, and not Shauna? What is in you that makes her poor heartache, even in the most desperates of situations? Nevertheless, Jackie allows herself to feel and falls right back asleep. Reality can wait for some time.

When the bodies had been buried and were beginning to dissolve into the earth, a heavy silence had weighted on the team shoulders. At least they could rest in peace, for the rest though only chaos was waiting. Jackie had never been so scared in her life. So, when Taissa shouted that she had seen a lake nearby, Jacki couldn't believe it. Or, more accurately, she was scared of leaving. What if the rescue team came just as they left? And what if they didn't find them? She couldn't afford to lead her team into another hazard. so, when almost all of the team agrees to go, Jackie feels betrayed. It's stupid and selfish but she does, especially when Shauna raises her hand in favor of leaving. Without too much thrust, Jackie follows. She steps away from Shauna and walks with you, helping you move your leg on the uneven forest floor.

When she spots the shore, a sense of wonder and happiness fills her for the first time in hours. With her help, you manage to speed up to the lake. There, a realization dawns on her. She hadn't told the others that she was 'different'. No one here except Shauna knew. What would they have thought of her? "Aren't you going in?" she heard your voice ask her. "Uh, I- I don't know..." she stammers out. Her eyes widen when she sees you changing out of your dirty clothes "Well, I'm going. Misty had said that the water might cleanse my wound, but she never talked about lake water" Jackie vaguely registered your response while her eyes were still trained on your figure. "I hope there aren't any germs there" you lose the branch that supported your uneven walk in favor of trying to get out of your pants.

"Hey Jackie... I know this is weird to ask, but can you help me out? I can't crouch low enough to pull them off" her heart skips a beat and almost automatically, she starts to undress you out of your pants. She's sure her cheeks are a bit more red than usual. "Ah, thank you. Are you sure you're not coming in?" she doesn't know, she isn't sure. But she so, so wants to be there with you. "Uh yeah just, just let me change and I'll be there".

Jackie's eyes follow as you dip into the water. Vaguely, she can feel her blood flow in her body faster than normal, but she dismisses it. When she nears on the shore, as quickly and as carefully as possible, Jackie strips out of her clothes and watches for any unwanted gaze. When the cold water crashes on her skin, her body begins to cool off and that thirst she felt has been quelled. Now she reaches you and guides you to deeper waters, careful to listen to any signs of discomfort from you.

That's how you spend the rest of the afternoon: splashing each other with water, resting on the rocky shores of the lake and gossipping. The everpresent eye of Shauna watching your every move. When Lottie had spotted something in the distance, everyone had been on the move, hoping to find a new shelter for the night. And they did. The cabin was decrepit. Its roof was slightly slanted, vines and vegetation covered the wooden walls; but it worked. It could work. When she entered, a smell of mold and old plants had hit her nose. She found a can of green beans and when attempting to open it, her hunger preceding the thought that maybe she could have preserved it, she was greeted with the sight of many greenish beans swimming in a gray pool of liquid.

On the other side of the room, some of the girls are checking out one of those old sex magazines. Natalie calls out to you "Hey look, this girl kinda looks like you" and right then and there, Jackie crumbles. "Nah, she doesn't look like me! You have a shitty sight Scatorccio '' the team's eyes all gather to one point in the page, some let out whistles while others comment on it. "So, are you like this gentlelady under your clothes?" Van jokingly teases you "Guess you'll have to discover it yourself". Despite thinking she's above this, Jackie steals a glance as she walks out. And it's true, that woman did look like you, despite some differences. And now, Jackie has to deal with yet another problem.

She feels her body shift without her wanting to and heat spreads through her lower abdomen, begging to be put out. She walks out of the door fast and follows a trail behind the cabin. There, she tries to calm down but to no avail, images of you fill her mind and she feels her shorts tighten. Jackie lets out a grunt of discomfort: the situation wasn't exactly the most comfortable one to 'rub one out'. She looks back at the cabin, it's far but still in view: maybe here she can take care of herself with no prying eyes watching.

Jackie slips out of her shorts and starts to palm at her length. She tries to think about Jeff, about Shauna, even about her celebrity crushes, but nothing works. Everything morphs into you. So, when she finally gives up and allows herself to fall into your image, she finds that her body is already at the brink of release. She feels your hands stroking her skin, the tension releases out of her shoulders and your voice whispers reassurances in her ear. "Let it go" and she falls from her high, her legs give out and the skin meets the hard ground. Her gaze falls to her hand. Oh god, what have I done?

The afternoon lights had started to shine through the trees. After taking care of her little problem, Jackie had come back and sat on the wooden porch at the side of the cabin. This can't be real. It can't, right? Her heart aches far more than she realized. She doesn't belong here. She is angry, sad and terrified. This isn't real.

Regret, both for the plane crash and for what she had just done. Did she really jerk off to a friend in the middle of the forest, right after what happened? God, how could she be so disgusting? So careless? People died and all she could think about was fulfilling her own needs. Like always Jackie, you always have to be the center of attention. You couldn't even let your teammates have a peaceful rest, you just had to think about yourself huh? Can you even feel something, anything for others? Do you have anyone else in your mind except yourself?This just shows the utter scum of a person you really are. You waste.

Back at home, everyone always counted on her. She was the voice of reason, the one person who could bring different people together under one team. She had been the one to create the Yellowjackets, to care for them, to nourish them. She knew she was selfish, selfish and stupid, but she really tried. Jackie didn't mean to be this much of a fucking liability, but she couldn't help it. This place, these people, did they even think of her as an equal? Or did most of them fake their appreciation for her? She didn't mean to be a bother, trying to fix the old music player instead of doing the chores, but she needed desperately to not think. Please, for the love of God, get me out of here.

Days, months have passed and winter starts to tighten its cold hands on the Yellowjackets. All of them know. When winter comes, they might die. Every night, the last breeze of autumn comes knocking on the door in the form of the Grim Reaper, begging to be let in. To join the fun. For how much their determination is worth, nature has a sick way of playing with its prey.

They don't have to think.

That's why Jackie had hosted a seance in summer, to distract them. And that's why she decides to host a Doom Coming. Death is already at the door, so why not having fun in the last few weeks of their lives? And her life is just a mess. Jackie feels as if all of the world's faults weigh down on her shoulders. She's sad, bitter and angry: sad for Laura Lee and her unfair death, bitter at Shauna and Jeff, and angry at the world.

Finally, night has fallen. The sun is lowering down the horizon, the cold air nipping at the skin, but she tried to ignore it. The camp smells of leaves, fire and earth. It's almost calming. Laughs and wind and fire crackling fill her ears. Jackie sits on a log which acts as a stool and closes her eyes.

Right now, when everyone is partying, she allows herself to be vulnerable. In the months following the summer, Jackie had come to care less and less about what others might have thought about her if her secret came to be known. So her facade had finally started to crumble.

Jackie sat on the log, her legs spreading far apart, her back hunched and with her face in her hands. She knew the others would look at her and make fun or feel sorry for her, but right now she didn't care too much. A quiet whine left her body and trickles of tears staining her cheeks. Something moves at her right side and she jumps up to see you holding two makeshift wooden bowls. "Hey, thought of giving you this. You haven't eaten at all".

Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe Jackie would rather die, her body to be eaten by the people she loved most and then dissolve into the earth, broken apart by nature and scattered like a constellation. "I... I am fine" she mutters into her hands, trying to mask her sobs.

"But you're not Jackie. You're so not fine; don't you think I can see that?" she's taken aback by your teary eyes burning a hole through her heart. You push the tears back in and hand her the warm bowl of soup. "I am scared too, Jackie. We all are. But at least, just before the end...won't you try to be happy?" and you know that asking her this is stupid and pathetic, but you too need to push reality away. And Jackie doesn't have enough strength to deny you. "...You're right", she takes the makeshift wooden spoon and dips it into the brownish soup. She lets the earthy flavors fill her mouth. "This isn't half as bad as I thought it would be'' Jackie smiles as she sets the bowl down. A giggle leaves your lips as you stand up, your legs feel wobbly and your skin starts to feel uncomfortably hot. "Say... you wouldn't want to have... a dance with me, would you?" words slurred, you try to pry Jackie out of her log and she happily complies.

Jackie feels strange. She isn't in total control of her body, her mind is foggy, her body moves slowly and lazily. She looks at you with lovey dovey eyes, as if you are a goddess on earth who came to relieve her of her pain. She doesn't even care that Mari's and Alikah's eyes are on both of you; as of right now Jackie only sees you. But now her mind is playing tricks on her: she sees you on her bed, naked.

"W-what?" and now that discomfort is back again, twirling inside of her stomach. "What is it?" Jackie can only feel her body stiffen once again, swaying 'Uhhh shit'. "I- I, don't worry!" but you insist with that look on your face that she can't resist. "What? What is it? Are you feeling ill?".

Shit!. "N-no I-" it's almost like her brain can't form any coherent thought anymore. Why? Why now?!, you get closer to her, an inch from her ear "Do you need something?" God damn it. "I need to- I need-" Jackie stops dead in her tracks as she feels your leg accidentally pressing on her groin. Shit! No! No, no, no! Why?! What is wrong with you?

You look down to see something puffing under her dress. What the heck was she hiding there?. It takes you a moment to understand what it really is, and when you do, you let out a small 'ohh' of understanding.

"Do you have something to tell me?" and Jackie feels embarrassed: embarrassed, guilty and disgusting. How could she have those kinds of thoughts for a friend? She's no better than Jeff, she's no better than them. "I am so, so, so sorry please, please I' didn't mean to-' ' you cut off Jackie with a shush, take her hand into yours and guide her in the forest.

You lead Jackie through low tree branches and vines, through bushes and dirt until you stumble in a beautiful clearing. Hidden between the thick branches of the pine trees, away from the cabin, the uneven forest floor becomes flat, the trees give away to green grass and moss and flowers. On the way, Jackie had noticed strange scrapes on the trees, like a knife had cut through the bark.

"This is where I come when I'm overwhelmed. I found it while having lost myself after going to get the water. You remember that day I didn't come to the cabin after dark?" Jackie nods, waiting for your voice again "I actually had been walking on circles, some feets away from the cabin I took the wrong turn and ended up in the wrong place, here." From your pocket, you fish out a small cutting knife, an old candle and a couple of matches you had stolen from Dead Guy's stash. "Luckily, I had this with me" you gesture to the knife, "If I hadn't, I'm not sure I could have come back". You let your things fall to the base of a tree, forgotten. "So," you say as you sit down and pat the ground next to you "mind explaining what that was?".

Jackie feels as if her blood had become ice cold; she's terrified, so much so that she's stiff and can't bring herself to sit near you. "Come here" she awkwardly lets herself lay on the ground with her legs tucked under her body and away from you.

"I- I am..." throat closing in on her words, she takes a breath and gathers all the courage she has left in her heart "I wasn't happy once. Before. I didn't realized it once, Shauna helped me understand. Sometimes I faked begin happy just to see the people near me happy. To see my parents happy. But once I started to put my own happiness before, I understood". Jackie feels as if a block of ice got stuck in her throat and it's preventing her from speaking clearly.

"For the time we have left, I will continue begin myself. I- I don't care what others think of me" and maybe that last part was a lie, maybe she does care. Every human need reassurance. But when she says that, she's looking directly into your eyes, with determination. A smile graces your lips and Jackie feels as if she has died for a moment and her soul reached heaven "I understand you" which is far better than any 'okays or 'alright's she has gotten so far. "Y-you do? I thought, I thought you would be... grossed out", silence fills the air and Jackie's breath hitches, waiting for the final blow at her heart. "You could never 'gross me out' Jackie, why did you even thought about that?"

"I really thought that you might-" Jackie's words die engulfed in your arm, her head cradled on you, "You are safe with me". Something in her, a cage, breaks into million shining pieces and lets her heart beat red blood into her flesh. Jackie feels as if the old cruel world broke and left space for a new, shining future, one she shares with you. She weeps into your shoulder, finally understood, happy, euphoric, free from her own self and from the world's expectations.

You let her weep into you for some time, the sky's color changes from the purple and orange evening glow to a light cobalt, the stars already starting to show.

"Now, I want to ask you something else..." your cheeks feel suddenly hotter, thighs closing in on themselves. Jackie listens to you, and you're suddenly very interested on your hands. "That... thing that happened back there... why? Why did it happen while we were dancing?". Ohh shiiit.

Jackie feels sick. A ball of nausea forms in the deepest parts of her stomach and reaches out to her mouth. For a second, she feels like she will throw up. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I forgot, I-" and now, emotions and feelings of the past months come crashing down on her heart. And when she parts her lips, it is too late to stop.

"I... like you. I do. I've felt like this for a while now. Back there I don't- I don't know why I felt like that and why it happened, but t-that's not like me at all! I- I am-" but the silence that follows is enough for Jackie to stop. Right then and there, she knows she has lost you. "I should probably go..." she says to you; Jackie's muscles move to follow her torso but your arms hug her shoulders before she can escape you. For a moment she's confused and almost thinks an animal might have tackled her to the ground, but when she feels your touch on her cheeks, peace fills her heart. You lightly trace her small skin marks under her eyes and lean down to kiss her. In her eyes billions of stars shine and in her heart, billions of stars explode. Her body is lighter, almost made of condensed air. It almost feels like a sin when she touches your hand: like if her fingertips could dirty the beautiful soul in front of her. "I want you too" you say to her, a whisper. Now she truly is gone.

Jackie kisses you back with a passion you didn't know she had in her. Everything is forgotten: the dirt of the soil, the rotten cabin, the looks of the others, the touches of Jeff, the desire for Shauna, the desire to run from the world. Here and now, Jackie is at peace. Finally at peace, after months of hardship. Her heart beats and her blood runs, and she's happy. So, so very happy.

When you leave the kiss, Jackie feels lightheaded. A dark feeling inside of her screams to stay, to take, to devour. She takes you right back into her arms, clinging to you so hard that you're sure your bones will snap. The kiss becomes raw, hungry and dangerous; all lips and tongue and teeth. Her hand cradles the back of your head and with the free hand, she claws at your shirt. There is a feeling blooming inside her groin and stomach; she wants to devour and be devoured. You get rid of your clothes and discard them aside. Now Jackie can see you in all your beauty, skin shaded by the blue evening night.

It's getting dark.

"Maybe, maybe we shouldn't..." Jackie whispers in your mouth but makes no effort to stop. Your hands find her soft skin, you cradle her head upwards facing you, "Let morning come". Your hands find Jackie's skin underneath her dress and her breath stops, she tries to gulp down air in her lungs but they feel tight. Your hands are just so soft and she feels so good, so right here with you. For the first time in a while, she doesn't have to be in charge of anything. For the first time, she can be her whole, broken self without needing to be something she's not. With a trembling voice, Jackie asks you to help her out of her dress. The cold air hits Jackie all at once, making her shiver but she is too caught up in you to care. As soon as the dress is off her hands are already on your skin, touching wherever they could. "I- I want to..." but she couldn't find in herself the strength to say what she wanted, needed to do. Instead, Jackie decided to crash her lips into yours again and rest her hand on your back, atop the clasps of your bra, a silent request. The dizziness of before had almost worn off by the time you were bare before her. A breathy sigh left Jackie's lips "Wowza...", you couldn't help but let out a giggle "Really? 'Wowza'?".

"What?! I couldn't help it..." her words trail off when her gaze falls to your chest. Fingers come down on you, caressing and touching and groping at every inch of skin she finds. She props you up on her lap, trying to relive the pain of her hardness starting to show. It's almost embarrassing how desperate she is, her cheeks are flushed red, her eyes unfocused and watery. Jackie's lips circle your nipple, biting and licking and sucking and tugging at your skin. Jackie's length gets harder and hard by the minute, for every time her name falls off your lips. All the uncomfortable and guilt has gone, leaving behind something dark and primal. She starts to hump on your ass while continuing to suck on you. "Oh, I see someone is eager" and all that confidence she had goes right out of the window, her sober self comes out more embarrassed than before "Oh- gosh I'm-I am sor-" but she is shut down by your grinding down on her. "Who said you could lead tonight?".

Oh shit I'm so into this.

"N-no one..." her voice came out shaking with excitement, the prospect of the night and all the scenarios playing out in her head.

"That's right, you deserve a break" not as sexy as she would have wanted, but this is fine too. More than fine. She was tired of feigning leadership. Your hands fiddle with the waistband of her underwear, feeling around the skin of her waist. This feels like a torture to Jackie. "Please, I-..." she meets your hands and tries to grind into you. As teasing as ever, your touch skims right on her thighs, squeezing and stroking her skin. "Tsk, I thought you wanted to be taken care of. Maybe I should stop?".

"N-no! No, please I will be good I promise". Jackie settles back against the earth, her puppy eyes looking up at you with the fear that you won't touch her anymore. "That's what I wanted to hear". Finally your fingers dip under her waistband and pull, freeing her after what felt like an eternity. Now, the both of you are bare against each other. "What do you want me to do, Jackie?" after some thought, Jackie says, "I... I want to taste you... Please....".

Now you take her place, laying down on the earth. Jackie watches you with adoration while her fingers start to travel downwards. Her fingers part your legs and she kisses the skin of your thighs, just mere inches away from where you need her the most. You whisper her name, wanting her to get on with it, to please you. At that, Jackie dips into you. After months of desire, it feels like heaven on earth. Her fingers tease your clit, circling it multiple times before moving down. But you're not prepared enough for the intrusion. So, Jackie starts to suck on you. She's so attentive and shy it makes you want to cry. You ground on her face and hear her letting out a whimper, she's getting pleasure from this too. When you are wet enough, Jackie's ring finger teases your opening and enters. You have already done this before, but it pales in comparison on how Jackie is making you feel. Almost like a shock running through your body and a wildfire spreading in your limbs. And you are sure that if Jackie continues, you will combust on the spot. Finger flicking your nipples, tongue occasionally joins her fingers to lick up your slit, eyes always fixated on your face twisted in pleasure. You look under her to see her free hand stroking her length quickly, white wetness dripping from it. "I- I am about to..." but your words die in your throat. When Jackie comes up again, the lower part of her face is covered in your release, she's still stroking herself. "Please, please I need it, I need it" she continued as she came closer to you. "What do you need Jackie?" she whimpers, desperately humping into her hand "y-you please. Your... mouth".

You smile at her, reaching to tease her length but just a few movements of your hand are enough to send her over the edge. Jackie gasps when she comes undone, her hands tightening over your shoulder. "O-Oh God I, I usually last way more than this..." you snort at her, "Hm? Way more?". Her brows are furrowed, cheeks red with embarrassment "...ok, a bit more". You decide to stop teasing her and reach down, sucking the last drops of her release. Her moans encourage you to get on top of her, legs straddling her hips on both sides. Slowly, you began grinding down on her.

"Oh... I like this'' Jackie moans in your mouth, hands exploring every inch of your skin. After what feels like an eternity, you line up Jackie's lengt with your slit, sliding it from under you on purpose and meeting her hips. "Please... stop teasing..." she lets out a grunt, her hands rest steady on your hips and she begins to drag you down on her. You like this double sided version of Jackie. All her dominance goes straight out of the window when she enters you. It takes an unholy amount of strength for Jackie to not start pounding in you, and to keep herself from coming too fast. She pants as if she's shoulder deep inside a pool of cold water, shaky. It's the first time she has reacted this way to having sex. Usually, she could keep a cool, passionate demeanor but she's so excited to do this with you. It feels different from any other casual sex encounters she had.

You still above her. She has reached the deepest point she could, cuddled between dark and hot and wet. It feels too much to you and you rest your head on her shoulders, trying to catch your breath. She is so delicate with you, whispering sweet encouragements on how -"you take me so well", "You can do it" and "I like you so, so much"-. You're the one that starts to move, surprising Jackie who was still in the middle of her praise. Her breath hitches when she feels you move on her, slowly and methodically taking her to the tip and all the way back. This is perfect.

You rest your hands on her shoulder and hers rest on your hips, guiding you back and forth on her. The grip is tight enough that you can feel your skin bruise under her touch. "Fas-faster please..." you try to comply, bouncing on her faster than before, but your legs feel wobbly and uncertain. When she sees that you can't go any faster, Jackie trusts up into you and meets your hips with force, bouncing you up and down. "I-I'm sorry I' can't go slower..." it feels so good you can't really complain about it. Now you have regained enough strength to meet Jackie halfway, both of you lost in a frenzy of pleasure. She's loud, almost yelling and in the back of your mind, you are terrified someone might come and take a look, but another part of you is thrilled at the prospect of begin found out. You are a bit shocked when Jackie's hand comes down on your ass, but you don't complain. If someone walked past you, they would immediately understand what was happening.

The only sounds that can be heard in the forest are your whimpers, moans, the slapping of skin, wind and chirping and, a little farther, yelling and rabid howls of creatures that resemble humans. But that is not important right now. Your minds are too lost in pleasure to think that, in the dark corners of the night, something could wait for the chance to pounce on you.

Jackie starts to move faster than you can keep up. She moves so you lay your back against the dirt and face her. She brings your leg up and opens the space between your thighs more, allowing herself easier access. She begins to pound into you, faster and harder and sloppier than before. She has no rhythm left, no care, only pleasure and the need to relieve both herself and you in her mind. She grabs your leg hard, not letting go in fear that if she does, you might vanish into thin air. "I am close, I am gonna-" she doesn't want to cum, not right now: this moment should last forever. But she can't hold herself back anymore.

From the dark, a pair of brown eyes had spied on the both of you. Shauna was hungry and her hunger was so grand that it made her vision, her brain and the world around her blurry. She was chasing Travis, along the others but had been left behind when she heard sounds coming from behind some bushes. Her mouth had watered thinking it could be an animal but she got let down when she realized the sounds were coming from you. Her initial shock had been replaced by annoyance. She had so hoped to get something beneath her teeth, but to no avail. Then, hate had bubbled its way through her veins and into her heart. She hated you at that moment. The both of you. Shauna couldn't understand if she wanted to be with Jackie or in between you two. Sure, she thought of Jackie before, during the night hours but she hadn't dared to make the first move. And then, when Jackie had gotten with Jeff, she was hellbent on having all of her. She did realize that there was something sparking between the two of you after the first few games, but she kept quiet. She imagined herself, between bodies. Skin and sweat and kisses. She thought of taking Jackie's while kissing you, of guiding your head down, of bending Jackie over and-. Her stomach growled. It was loud enough she could clearly hear it, but not enough for you two to get suspicious of anything. That fantasy of hers would never happen. She retreated back into the dark.

Jackie is moving fast against you, hips slapping repeatedly up on yours and hands reaching every little bit of skin she can. From deep inside her groin, she feels something snap. She's not gentle with you anymore. Something raw and angry has taken control over her brain. Jackie slipped out of you and snuck behind, her arm lifting up your leg before entering once again. In this position she can reach deeper and move faster. She's being too hard on you. A scowl appears on her face when you try to slow her down by slipping from her grasp, "You- you will, you will stay here a-and take-" growling, her fingers grip at your flesh again, harder this time.

A knot snaps inside your guts and without managing to yell a warning, you release on Jackie's. She feels you dripping down on her. Your coming prompts her to do the same: Jackie gives a final long and hard thrust and leaves you empty, releasing on the soil.

She falls on top of you, spent "O-oh wowza. That... that felt amazing". You laugh at her "Again, 'wowza'?! It's not sexy Jackie" she mumbled something back at you and then hid her face in the crook of your neck. You're silent, now left with the remnants of your lovemaking and the constant presence of death looming over you. A faint trace of cold is coming out of the earth and down on you. "What do we do now?" she asks, embracing and shivering against you "Did- did we do something bad? What's gonna happen now? We will all still die-" her voice hitches. She's crying: tears fall down your skin as she nuzzles on it. You take her hand, tracing patterns on it, "We will manage".

Days later, when Jackie finally confronts Shauna, secrets get spilled. Of affairs, of grudges that lasted years, even of your lovemaking with Jackie. She had stormed out of the cabin: just like she feared, everyone had turned on her. Jackie watches the fire, cold seeping in her bones and her mind getting groggy. Shauna walks to Jackie, hand embracing her best friend's back. "Come inside" you say, your features and voice replacing Shauna's. In the back of her mind Jackie wants to preserve her dignity: walking back into the house would mean to admit that she had lost the argument; but staying out here could kill her. Jackie follows you, gripping at your arm tightly. Everyone is asleep; you lead her to rest on one open spot near the fire, finally hugging her cold body to yours. "Rest easy" and she doesn't need to be told twice, falling asleep right away in your arms. Next morning, it was snowing.

[irisintheafterglow]

You Are In Love (Gojo Satoru x You)

summary: you can't stop dreaming about him, and your friends start to notice a change in your behavior. (2.4k words)

cw/tags: mild angst to comfort, friends to lovers, pining, idiots in love, profanity, elder sorcerers being assholes, pet names (doll, gorgeous, etc), uhh gojo loses his cool and blows up a building lol, kissing, one instance of foreshadowing manga spoilers but only if you squint

note: HELLOO GOJO NATION. ok so i'll be so honest with you, this stupid man was my #1 for so long and i think those feelings resurfaced so i got a little carried away with writing this (it's my longest fic so far, my bad). but yk something about gojo, hawks, and kuroo all being played by the voice actor just gets me. the prompt for this is from the AMAZING @creativepromptsforwriting and was supposed to be a drabble but turned into a full fic. anyways, hope you enjoy it!!

likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!

“It’s too quiet. Can I tell you guys a joke I heard on TV?”

“Mmm, please don’t.”

“But it’s funny!”

“Satoru.”

“Ooh, using my first name. Something’s up with you.”

“Something is not up with me, weirdo.” 

“No, something is definitely off with you today.” You thought Suguru and Shoko had stopped listening, but they chimed in with evidence of your odd behavior.

“You said good morning differently,” Shoko added, casually taking a sip of her soda and peering at you over the rim. Her hair sways gently in the breeze outside of the convenience store you four had stopped at before heading back to Jujutsu Tech. You glare at her and open your mouth to defend yourself when Suguru adds his two cents. 

“You tripped up during that last mission that should have been a cakewalk,” which was true, but you thought your mistake had gone unnoticed. The truth was, the spirit had caught you off guard with a simple teleport trick. It warped behind you and unlatched its grotesque jaws to end your life faster than you could blink. You should have been able to predict the movement with your eyes closed, but you’d been too focused on making sure a certain white-haired sorcerer was alive after your group had been ambushed several hundred feet underground. Suguru had given you a curious look after one of his demons saved your ass, and you’d flipped him off hoping that would be the end of it. “And you also flipped me the bird instead of saying thank you,” he shrugged.

“You also finish your food the fastest out of all of us, and today you haven’t even taken three bites,” Shoko says, finishing her drink and standing to toss it in the trash bin. “Something’s going on with you, and I, for one, am incredibly curious as to why.” Satoru watches you with a smug glint in his eye, and it takes all your willpower not to strangle him. 

“As glad as I am to know that you all pay such great attention to my habits, I promise there’s nothing wrong.” The three of them stare at you skeptically but thankfully decided to drop the subject, instead pivoting to who’s most likely to go to jail first (it’s Gojo). 

After the late lunch, you begin the walk back to Jujutsu Tech as the sky transforms into faded shades of orange and pink. The vanishing sun casts shining reflections on the surrounding skyscrapers, bouncing off the windows of speeding cars and zooming trains. Satoru and Suguru walk ahead, playfully shoving each other and almost falling over doing so. 

“Alright, are you gonna tell me what’s going on now that Dumb and Dumber aren’t here?” Shoko asks as she falls into step with you. The sides of your mouth turn down, realizing that she didn’t forget about your conversation at lunch. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your closest friends what was going on; you just didn’t know how to explain what you had dreamed about the previous night and the night before that, and all the nights the past two weeks. 

It began with a look he had given you after a meeting with some higher-ups in the sorcerer world. They had visited Jujutsu Tech unexpectedly, stating that they would be evaluating the skill levels of random students. Out of your group of friends, only you and Satoru had been pulled to be tested. Principal Yaga had instructed both of you before entering the room to give the evaluation your best effort and to not become indignant if they judged you poorly. 

The brass declared your evaluation to be first, and you poured all of your energy into showcasing the power of your Cursed Technique. You even managed to pull off a few strikes of extension techniques that you’d been perfecting for months. Though the entire performance lasted less than ten minutes, you were breathless and light-headed when the panel told you to stop. After bowing deeply, you moved to exit the room, desperate for fresh air, but they stopped you and began listing every single reason why your demonstration was unsatisfactory. Besides “inefficient technique, predictable attacks, weak offense, insufficient defense,” and a general lack of power compared to that of other sorcerers at your level, they informed you that your Cursed Technique was obsolete and would eventually render you useless as more innately talented sorcerers take your place. You were speechless at their blunt criticism of your effort, on the verge of breaking down, but you managed to nod in acknowledgment as you stepped out of the room.

But then you saw him sitting there, waiting on his phone and looking up at you with a bright smile as he stood to greet you. A confusing blend of disappointment, anger, sadness, and loneliness panged in your heart and spread to the rest of your body, and you rapidly tried to blink away the moisture welling up in your eyes while Satoru approached. He was halfway through a snarky remark about you blowing away their expectations when his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shit, he’d noticed you crying. 

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me. What the fuck did they do to you?” Dashing blue eyes found yours through the clouds in your vision, and his thumbs gently brushed away stray tears that escaped down your cheeks. 

“Do you think I’m weak, Satoru?” Your voice cracks when the words finally spill out, swallowing hard to push down the sobs threatening to break loose from your constricted lungs. Satoru freezes, eyes searching yours. He doesn’t answer your question immediately, but instead asks again. 

“Doll, what the fuck did they do.” You can’t get a reply out in time before his focus snaps up to behind you, and a second later you hear the door roll open, one of the officials commanding Satoru to enter for his evaluation. His large hands hold your face and turn you to look up at him, and you move unconsciously to cover his hands with yours. “Stay here for me, okay?” He glanced at the official waiting in the doorway, blue eyes dark with suppressed rage. “This won’t take long.”

His evaluation lasts two minutes and four seconds. At first, the room was silent and you couldn’t hear any demonstration of Satoru’s technique, almost as if the panel was having a conversation with him before they began. Then, at two minutes on the dot, the room was blown to splinters. The door, the ceiling, the porch, and all of the furniture inside were violently thrown outward in an explosion that made the ground beneath your feet tremble. Curiously, none of the debris had hit you, but you coughed through the dust and saw that the panel hadn’t been so lucky, all of them buried under shredded beams of wood and canvas. And, standing at the center of the room’s remains with a satisfied grin plastered on his beautiful face, was Satoru. He found his way over to where you stood in disbelief and took your hand in his, interweaving your fingers and guiding you away from the ruined building. 

You two walked hand-in-hand in silence back to your dorm, where he seemed reluctant to let go of your hand. Before he walked away, he finally answered your question from earlier. 

“I tell you this not just as your friend, but as another sorcerer. You are not weak. Your technique is special and something that those shithead elders haven’t seen in decades, and they don’t like what they don’t understand. I know the thought of leaving Jujutsu Tech crossed your pretty little mind, but you shouldn’t. People need you here, Shoko, Suguru, Mei Mei...” He hesitated, taking a shallow breath and reaching back for your hand. 

“Me,” he said, his voice low, and his voice got even softer until it was almost a breath. “I need you here.” As quickly as the fondness in his voice appeared, it disappeared. “And, plus, you definitely can’t leave us here with ol’ Yaga. What the hell am I gonna do if I can’t hide in your room while he’s trying to beat my ass?” 

You laugh, and the feeling makes you feel better. He makes you feel better. You smile back at him and finally bid him farewell, and he raises your hand to his lips as he says goodbye. 

After that, he’d appeared in your dreams for two weeks straight. The dreams started as a continuation of what would have happened if you didn’t just say goodbye to him, if you’d invited him into your dorm, or if you’d let him pull you into his. They transformed after the fourth day into what it would be like to love him and receive his love in return: stolen kisses, flirty whispers, and movie dates to name a few. All these dreams added up to the previous night’s nightmare, where a mission had gone bad and he’d been imprisoned with no hope of breaking him free. You’d startled awake covered in sweat, and barely fell back asleep before your alarm forced you to start the day. 

“It’s… hard to explain,” you reply apologetically, and Shoko looks at you with so much skepticism written on her face that you have to turn away and look in the other direction. 

“So something is bothering you.” 

“Yeah, there is. I’m sorry; it’s just really, really hard to verbalize.”

“Can I take a stab at what’s bothering you?”

“If you could actually stab it that’d be great, but sure. Knock yourself out.”

“It’s Satoru, isn’t it?” You stop mid-stride and her face lights up with amusement. “Holy shit, it’s Satoru. You like Gojo Satoru.”

“Jeez, Shoko, go ahead and say his name four hundred million times, why don’t you? But really, what tipped you off?”

“Ten seconds ago when you asked me to stab your problem, I figured it out,” she chuckles, bumping her shoulder against yours playfully. “If it’s any consolation, I’m 99% sure he’s felt that way about you for a while.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“How do you know?”

“Would you let me off the hook if I said it was hard to explain?”

“Har, har, very funny. Could you at least try?” 

“Mmm, I think it’s better if he explains it himself.” 

“You’re no help, Shoko.”

“Yes, and you love me anyway. But not as much as you love Sa–” You groan, covering your burning face in both hands and increasing the speed of your steps to escape your friend’s teasing chuckles. 

When you finally arrive at school, the stars have started rising and the moon hangs in the sky. You walk in the direction of the dorms when Shoko suddenly unlinks her elbow from yours, winking at you over your shoulder. 

“Suguru, can you help me move something from the gym real quick? I forgot a few things over there.” 

“Sure, but why do you need my help?” Shoko gives him a pointed look and realization quickly washes over his features. “Oh, OH. Okay, of course, sure.” Suguru turns on his heel awkwardly, briskly walking in the direction of the gym.

“Satoru, walk them back to their dorm. Don’t want anything happening to them after their little slip today,” she adds before heading in the other direction with Suguru, who tries and fails to communicate something to Satoru with a nod of his head. 

“Alright, pretty girl, you heard Shoko. C’mere and let me walk you home before she beats my ass.”

“I think you have too many people on this planet that want to beat your ass. And, for the record, I’m one of them.”

“It’s the price of being this gorgeous, gorgeous.” A soft laugh escapes your mouth, and you swear Satoru’s smile gets a little wider. The rest of the short walk to your dorm is just as easy and comfortable, Satoru making stupid comments and you replying with a quick remark over and over until you’re back in the same situation you’d been in two weeks ago. But, this time, you realized that Satoru was a lot closer to you, leaning back against your door with your hand touching the handle but not opening it. You both spend a few moments there, just looking at each other, and his mesmerizing eyes flicker to your mouth when you unconsciously lick your lips. He opens his mouth to say something smart, but you beat him to it. 

“If you’re gonna look down at my lips and say something stupid about it, you might as well do what I’ve been wanting you to do for ages.” 

“Oh? And what’s that, pretty girl?”

You sigh in mock disappointment and look up at him through your eyelashes. “If you don’t know what it is by now, then I guess… you don’t deserve to do it.” His pupils are blown wide with desire, and you resist the impulse to laugh. 

“God, you’re intoxicating,” he says, before pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter shut and you melt into him, arms snaking around his neck while his hands find your waist and hold you up from your knees that have turned to jelly. The first kiss is gentle and experimental, but having the flirtiest asshole in the country chasing your lips as you briefly pull away gives you a newfound wave of confidence, pulling him closer and closer until his body is flush against yours. When you finally pull away from each other and catch your breath, he doesn’t go very far, resting his forehead against yours. 

“You know, I wanted to kill them. Those wrinkly assholes two weeks ago that had the gall to call you weak. And I would have, you know I would have, but you were outside… and you were crying… I just didn’t know what to do. I saw red, and, uh, then the building exploded.” You chuckle at his confession and he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, rubbing his nose against yours. 

“I had a dream about you. Well, a lot of dreams.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Got a little nervous today when I heard you talk with Shoko about liking a boy, but it helps knowing now that the boy is me. And, hopefully, it will only ever be me.”

“You pretentious asshole.”

“You know it.”

“You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork.” 

“I know you are.”

“And I’m never going anywhere.” He kisses your forehead sweetly, and it’s just like the dreams that had plagued you for weeks before. “Ever.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[oddmawd]

Hello!!! I read and ADORED your "The Art of Queen Sacrifice"!! I love the way you write Doflamingo, the way hes possessive but caring and domineering!!! Ugh, I keep re-reading it!!! I've been asking my favorite Doffy authors how they "get in his mind" I guess?? Like how do you write him so correctly and seductively?? Thanks, all the love towards you and your work <3!!!

my dear, my darling, my love, i am so happy you've asked! and also thank you for the love and support, you are AH-MAZING....gonna bust out proper grammar for this badboy btw, hold onto your butts

On the topic of writing seductively:

A lot of people think "foreplay" means physical intimate play prior to penetrative sex, but foreplay starts a lot earlier than that. Foreplay actually starts when you're looking at a person from across the room and feeling a slow, spreading tension begin to burn between you. It starts with teasing. With a heated look. With a whispered promise. With watching someone's hair fall over their neck and becoming preoccupied with the way their pulse beats in their throat. Start thinking of eroticism and seduction long before the characters ever lay hands on each other, and you'll find out seduction happens way before the characters ever hop into bed.

(This got long so I'm putting in a "Read More." Click for more about Doflamingo!)

That's why I personally don't write smut that jumps straight into the action. I'm all about "20,000 words of pining before we hold hands, and now holding hands is enough to make us melt." As a writer, I personally find the payoff more satisfying that way. In The Art of Queen Sacrifice, most of the seducing happens while the characters are completely clothed, standing several feet apart, and are in danger of being discovered at any time. It's not touch that seduces. It's the desire to touch, and the inability to do so, that makes the reader gravitate toward Doffy. Denial is a great way to stoke a fire, I've found, and the mental game of seduction is just as important (if not moreso) than the physical.

In general, seduction in writing is all about sensuality. Some people use "sensuality" as a synonym for "sexual," but "sensuality" just means "gratifying to the senses." Yes, it's often sexual, but try shifting focus strictly from sex. Use descriptive writing of the senses as a seductive tool. What does your character smell, feel, see, hear, touch? How do these things impact the body, the mind, the heart? Unexpectedly sensual things (like catching a hint of your lover's cologne, or seeing sunlight in their hair, or just hearing their voice) can become a springboard for attraction and seduction if played right.

On the topic of writing Doflamingo:

Getting into Doflamingo's brain is, in my mind, all about priorities. Never forget that in the end, Doffy's #1 will always be Doffy. He may hold affection for another, or perhaps even some twisted form of attachment a generous person might call love, but at the end of the day, Doffy's #1 will always be Doffy.

When writing him in a romantic setting, I try to think in transactional terms. He might have affection for someone, but what does HE get out of it? Is their love a means to an end? Does he have a reason beyond affection or lust to keep them around? Exploring those reasons (or lack thereof) is a good way to start exploring his character. I'd love to see a romance where he has no real reason to love someone and still feels like Doffy at heart! The balance seems quite hard.

Each story is unique, and each Doffy romance (whether he's paired with an OC or a canon character) is going to be different depending upon the character traits of his love interest. For instance, I think Doffy would behave differently around someone he perceives as his equal (insofar as anyone CAN be his equal). A fellow Warlord, a noble, a powerful fighter, a regular person...each of these people will have a different dynamic with our favorite Horrible Bird Man. If you're writing one of these archetypes, try thinking about he'd act towards a different archetype, and compare/contrast his behaviors. This might give you a clearer understanding of his behavior towards specific people.

As for writing him "correctly"...I don't know that I write him particularly correctly to be perfectly honest. The Art of Queen Sacrifice is an AU fic, and I think there's a level of...not softness, but at least tenderness toward the reader that I might not use in a strictly canonical depiction of Doflamingo. I think my depiction of him in The Grasp of Gilded Strings is probably more on point, though, and getting inside his head was all about understanding his priorities. The good news is that in fanfic, there's room for different interpretations of a character, and I love seeing how other people handle the Horrible Bird Man in their stories. <3

On the topic of Doflamingo + Seduction

If Doflamingo is seducing a person, he's going to be deliberate about it. I think he'll weaponize sensuality, his station as king/Warlord, and even transactional matters to seduce a person.

If they're attracted to him and he knows it, he'll flaunt his physique and be more touchy. If they're more intellectual, his tactics might become more cerebral to match. If he thinks they'll be receptive to gifts, he'll probably shower them with presents.

But don't assume Doffy automatically knows what these needs are. Take into consideration the wants/needs/tastes of his romantic partner, then ask if Doflamingo knows what these tastes may be. Perhaps he's not aware of them. Perhaps he is. Maybe he makes a mistake and has to course correct. But Doffy is smart, and I think seduction, for him, crosses the border into outright manipulation quite often.

After all, Doffy is Doffy's #1. What he wants, he WILL get. And I don't think he's beyond lying, manipulating, and taking full advantage of his love interest's weaknesses to seduce them to his side.

This is Doffy, after all. And even on the battlefield of love, I don't think he takes prisoners (or maybe that just makes it more fun for the Horrible Bird Man).

OK THAT'S ENOUGH RANTING FROM ME, THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, YOU ARE AMAZING AND I WISH YOU LUCK IN ALL OF YOUR WRITING ENDEAVORS! TYSM ILYYYYYY!!!!!!

[wings-of-ink]

Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

[exo-raskreia]

hi as a jjk fan, do you have any issues with the writing from gege? if so, what do you think are wasted potential in terms of characters, bonds. i think that there is lack of emotional impact or expansion fo characters sometimes. for instance animes like mha have alot of meaningful character arcs and backstories. It's a bit hard to express how I feel becuase jjk is an amazing story but i am just a bit disappointed of the wasted potential with female characters and like shoko and utahime. and the world building. yes i am fellow gojohime shipper ;).

(Oncoming long RANT 😅)

If you ride on Gege's coattails, this may not be for you.

I actually do have issues with Gege's writing, so I agree with you. JJK has an interesting premise with hidden lore & I would recommend it to anyone wanting to get into, or already into, anime/manga, but it could be so much better if Gege just cared enough (which I sometimes feel like he doesn't? It just feels like he wants to hurry up & finish it so he can start on his idol manga... 💀). He skips so much, it honestly feels like he's going off a checklist, especially in the latest arc.

Compared to other battle shounens, namely Naruto, Fairy Tail, MHA, & even Gintama, JJK is severely lacking in several areas. It's unfortunate because the premise & characters are full of potential.

I will go over some of the issues. A lot of these were obvious from the start but they've only gotten worse over time.

• The fast pacing (speed running at this point). It's battle after battle, no downtime, big arc right after big arc, etc. Us readers & the characters themselves barely have time to process things before he moves on to the next thing. He skips so many things, so much happens off-screen/off-panel (can't forget how he skipped Yaga's fight with Gakuganji that lead to his death, skipped Gojo's entire month after his unsealing then "kills" him off-panel a few chapters later, I could go on...)

• The lack of character emotions, development, backstories, etc. We barely know anything about the characters, like their hobbies & interests? (This is why I have a hard time making up headcanons & potentially writing a fic for our ship... How can I keep them in character when I barely know stuff about them? 😮‍💨). We barely see any of them training (training arcs/chapters are typical for battle shounens); the Tokyo students preparing for the Goodwill Event would have been a fitting time to showcase this, for example. There's little to no mourning shown for character deaths (like Yaga? Nanami? Mai? Mechamaru?).

Yuta has such a cool CT & we didn't get to see how he discovered it & all. Like, come on 😔. Also, it would've been nice to see the Goodwill Event from his first year when he beat the Kyoto students, especially Todo... (Gege simply tells us about it. Like he tends to do for a lot of things 🙄).

Gege could've done more build-up to Gojo's sealing in Shibuya by showing his upbringing & development from his arrogant teen self (tho already having shown hints of caring for others & not liking the higher-ups) to the sensei who loves his students & strives for a better Jujutsu society. His past arc should've been longer imo. Needed more slice of life & character interactions, bonding. Heck, Toji should've gotten his whole backstory there too before he died. More build-up to Gojo's "death" too, as Gege skipped that whole month after his unsealing 😒...

• While on the subject, the lack of character interactions, bonding. We haven't seen most characters interact with each other despite being in the same circles, vicinity. Tokyo & Kyoto students, GjHm with them, Gojo & his colleagues (esp more Uta), the Zenin clan (like, wish we could've seen how GjHm interacted with Naoya. Imagine the drama 😫), Gojo & his elusive clan, I could go on... Would've loved to see Gojo interact with Kashimo, Higuruma, Choso... 😮‍💨

As such, several have died & we never saw them interact with certain others nor even know much about them 😑... The emotional impact of character deaths & bonding would be higher if only Gege cared enough to flesh out his characters more... (At least the Phantom Parade mobile game is giving us some much-needed slice of life content. Wish Mappa would give us some OVA's like that too...)

• Lack of world building. Once again, so much we don't know, such as the clans, especially Gojo's. Apparently, they're still alive, yet we haven't seen them?

Are they not fighters, then? Nothing from them on their clan head's sealing/unsealing/"death". The Zenin Clan debuted & got killed off soon after. Other clans irrelevant. Jujutsu sorcery primarily exists in Japan so other than Miguel, goodbye to the potential of any foreign sorcerers making their appearance...

• Female cast. It's crazy how they were once praised for their potential but now... Now, all they've got is just your typical battle shounen treatment 😒. While Gege has shown he cares little for all his characters (lol), it does seem like the female characters have suffered a bit more from his writing. They've either died (like Mai off-screen? Yuki, the only female Special Grade, had one fight & died?), become powerless (Miwa, thru an off-screen Binding Vow revealed many chapters later? Seriously?), lack screentime (the Kyoto girls? Shoko, the only one who can use RCT on others & closest friend to Gojo?!), or simply haven't done a whole lot, especially compared to the male characters. For some or most, it's a mixture of all these 💀 (like Tsumiki).

Nobara is the main girl & yet her role ended about halfway thru the series. Can't believe Gege did that to her, despite her potential & competence to be the FL of a battle shounen (poor Yuuji still thinks of her. And we don't even know what Gojo thought about her demise? 😮‍💨). Maki seems to have it better, yet some could argue she's just Toji 2.0/female Toji. Unfortunately, I thought about Toji when she was fighting Sukuna; I was like, "If Sukuna's this impressed by her, imagine Toji with his higher experience?" I doubt that's what Gege would want us to think when Maki's shining (or does he? 🤨😒).

• Don't even get me started on Utahime. She's the main teacher of Kyoto, loved by all her students according to Gege, yet we don't get to see it? She's barely relevant? Imagine what she felt as her students kept on dying or becoming unable to fight. Thru her character, such as during her investigation of Kyoto for the traitor, we could've gotten some great insight into how things are over there? We don't even know what the Kyoto school looks like 💀.

Her scar has several implications & yet we don't know how she got it? How has she dealt with being a scarred woman in Jujutsu society, especially considering Momo's words about such a thing during the Goodwill Event? Utahime could be a great role model to the girls, especially Maki now, & yet... 😮‍💨 (I'm telling you, she should've been the main adult female of the series, just like Gojo's the main adult male)

She's one of Gojo's friends, has known him for 10+ years, & is one of his few most trusted allies, yet we haven't seen how they got to this point? Their comedic interactions make us wonder how they built that deep trust. I NEED to know what happened between them during the timeskip!!! 😫

Her CT buffs herself & others. Why has she not been a part of any on-screen fight prior to the Shinjuku Showdown? There were a couple instances where we almost saw her in action & yet... Why did Gege gatekeep her CT for so long? To showcase her CT for the first time for Gojo & Gojo ONLY. He's insane. They can't beat the package deal allegations. So, does this have any meaning? Can we hope for more-

• I sometimes wonder if JJK would be better as a seinen like I once heard he intended for it to be... There are definitely elements of that... How much darker could the story get, since sometimes Gege pushes the boundaries of Shounen Jump (I know he wants to, lol)... How much more fleshed out could it be if he was writing it the way he wanted to originally (supposedly he never intended for a school setting but was forced by his previous editor?)... Maybe we could even get a Tokyo Ghoul:re style chapter with GjHm during the timeskip if y'all know what I mean-

So, to sum up: JJK is interesting & I would recommend it, but there's a whole lot of wasted character potential, terrible pacing, & lack of interactions, development, & world building. There's so much we don't know & Gege wants to end it already? He's sitting on a gold mine & yet... 😑😒

No idea how things will end but I can at least hope for an open ending that leaves us with some hopeful possibilities... Uh, right?

Also... GOJO WILL RISE ✊️

[sharoo]

Canto 7 thoughts

So me and my pals finished canto 7 yesterday and just. Projmoon how do you keep one-upping yourselves. How are you going to keep one-upping yourself we still have 5 episodes of Inferno and god knows what more after that.

So like a lot of fans i'm gonna leave my thinkpiece here and try to sort out the emotions I have about it all. This is going to be rambly as heck.

Family and how messy that can be

Bloodfiend families kind of make me short-circuit when I get thinking about them. A chosen family of blood, but one with an unfortunate power dynamic, where the children cannot willingly disobey or harm their parents.

Old Don Quixote was a good guy. He was an idealist, he treated his kids well, he wanted the best of for them. But so often they did not have a choice in his antics. Sancho herself even says, during the Bloodfiend war days, that she could not leave him.

And the fall of La Manchaland involves several instances of him making choices for others without considering them. Forcing Sancho to leave when, as the story clearly shows us, DQ is in large part her reason for living and happiness; forcing the family to first live off of flavourless mush for 200 years and then locking them away to endlessly keep on starving as they're unable to die, all for the safety of humanity.

Don Quixote has the air of someone who centres his actions on what he feels is right or wrong, not necessarily considering others?

But as someone once said, any action committed in the name of love exists outside the framework of good and evil.

I do not think DQ was evil, nor were the bloodfiends. They were just trying to survive and do what felt right. And really, Don sums it up best - he was upset with them, they were upset with him. It's not black and white.

Really, the villain here is their illness and what it forces them to do to stave it off.

But also we have another family. The family of a Bloodfiend who all her life insisted she'd start none. A chosen family who forged their closeness in blood, yet do not share it.

Heathcliff's line about your coworkers being kind of like family (of course it's him saying that, seeing how the dead rabbits replaced the Earnshaws) and then the entire group talking about how much Sancho means to them, how much her bravery inspired them...

All culminating in her telling her father about this wonderful family of twelve she's acquired. God, that just killed me in the softest way possible.

Both Don Quixotes have large families of those younger than them who are ready to fight with them, who are going to support them.

Except our Don does not have the undertone of an imbalanced power dynamic over the sinners that her father had over her and her siblings.

Even just how Sinclair, the youngest of the Sinners, looks up to Don, wants to be like her, mimicking how Sancho wanted to be like DQ as described in Hero. It's so good!

Choice

During the dungeon, we had a discussion with my friends over the postulates older Don posed - that bloodfiends cannot change their nature.

I am of the opinion that you cannot change if you are not given choice or are not aware that you have a choice. And there's a difference in meaning. When people in a state of depression bemoan unchangeability, they often are blind to the tiny changes, they wish they could drastically alter themself in an instance in order to remove whatever part of them poses them trouble. That's what Don the elder sees - they could not change.

For most of the canto, Sancho denies her ability to be better too. Bloodfiends cannot den their nature, it's useless to try. Her choices were either made for her (leaving la manchaland on Rocinante) or were made in the name of avoiding pain (forgetting oneself and slipping into a dream delusion).

But in the end, she realises that the dream of Don Quixote is one she and her father shared. That he did not force her into it, but that she inherited it through choice, through interest, through being inspired, little by little.

She chooses to continue it for them both, now that her father is too exhausted to dream it. The title of Don Quixote, much like in our world for some, becomes a symbol of daring to have a dream.

The duality of "dream as delusion" and "dream as tomorrow"

I love the dual meaning here. I love how the canto is called the Dream Ending yet in its final minutes our Don's rebuttal is literally "The Dream Un-Ending". I love how it flips her "needing to wake up" on its head.

It's not the idea of heroism she has to abandon, it's her dream of escape. Sancho became Don Quixote to escape pain. But she cannot change and become better if she just leaves all choices to her amnesiac self.

Sancho's Don Quixote act really began as wilful delusion. An escape from pain into this hope that she shared with her father, really, the most valuable elements of the memories she'd be erasing.

But that "delusion" ended up genuinely inspiring others. Especially our boy Sinclair, who wants to be like her, brave and strong.

Now she's awake to actively engage with the world, to strive for the better, to consciously dream. To hope.

The line between hopeful ideal and delusion is really just... in the eye of the beholder. At what point is it alright to chastise hope?

To wake up from it, to abandon it... it's not worth it, especially in this City ready to crush you into pieces the moment you stop hoping for a better tomorrow.

The Christian undertones

They put a confessional in La Manchaland, I get to discuss the christian undertones of the entire set up. Is it thematic? Idk, it's fun for me tho :]

Of course I in no way want to imply that this is universal for Christianity, just that, depending on your religious surrounding, it can lead to such interpretations; speaking from a perspective of a former Catholic who used to be really religious, I do see this theme of selflessness at all cost emerging here.

Selflessness and sacrifices for the sake of others can, in the right amount, be necessary and beautiful and noble. The issue is where that line crosses into indirect harm.

How much happiness must you deny yourself for the sake of others in order to be "good"? Is it even worth it?

Bloodfiends, by their nature, crave blood. It's not something they can just deny themselves. It can't kill them but the emotional toll of it is not much better.

And now imagine framing that necessity as "sin". I mean for goodness' sake, they built a confessional where bloodfiends could talk with a priest about their forbidden craving. They have to be penitent for something they cannot control.

Blood is their forbidden fruit. They disobey the teachings of the Father who built them a paradise in order to taste it, and they are subsequently punished.

[defender-of-jouvente]

HEY!!!!

Apparently this is what we're doing now? Making blogs? Or something. And I don't wanna be left out! So here I am!!!

I'm Isabeau (he/him), ex-defender from Jouvente, currently traveling with the Saviors of Vaugarde. Nice to meet you!

(Could you call this an Isablog....? Hehehe.)

Act Directory

Profile

{Rules/Info Below Cut}

hey! this blog is run by an anonymous user who shall, from here on out, be dubbed "mundie". it uses ze/they/he pronouns, and will occasionally use it/its pronouns for itself. it is a hobbyist roleplayer who tends to go overboard with things, and also has a degree in the arts i guess.

mun is an adult- indeterminate amount of years rp experience yadda yadda yadda. lets get to the meat of things.

this is an isabeau rp blog! while it's still in the early stages, it will have full game spoilers- not to mention the mun will talk ooc with the general regard that it's followers have, in fact, completed the game. please tread with caution if you haven't finished it yet!

(also technically an au)

majority of assets (as well as the game itself) used on this blog are directly from isat and thus made by insertdisc5 unless otherwise stated. things like sprites and portraits may be edited as i see fit.

instances of textboxes are put together in the ISAT Dialogue Maker.

blog tries to remain as accessible as possible, and all images will include ids in alt text (unless I forget). distorted and colored text will have a translation located in the tags. let me know what i can do to make this blog more accessible for you!

Anon: Off. Learn to respect my friends’ time and energy or die by my sword.

Magic!Anon: Currently not allowed, several stashed in inbox.

Interactions: Allowed and welcome! I may not get to every one, for a rainbow variety of reasons I won't get into. I will simply do my best! (Note: You don't have to be in the "group" listed below to interact! Come n hang!)

Plot: Currently in Act 1

Main Group: @a-traveling-star (King), @housemaiden-of-change (Noah), @studies-of-nothing (Nin), @snacksleader (Bonnie), and @loopadoop - check them out to get more context on the main story!

Rules:

No sexual content. Try to keep it PG-13 in that regard. Everything else follows the general standards of the actual game-- things may get heavy, so please take care!

No harassment. I feel like this won't exactly discourage any potential attempts, but its good to set boundaries. If I deem your ask legitimately hurtful I'm just gonna delete/ignore it. This includes transphobia, racism, xenophobia, etc etc.

This blog, as well as it's companion blogs, moves at its own pace. This is largely improv with some minimal planning for structure- we don't have every little thing planned, and we are pretty unfamiliar with each other and still adjusting, so scheduling may be messy. Please don't rush us! This performance is just as much for us as it is for you.

Try to stay on topic! Goofs are welcome, but try not to derail during plot/story heavy moments. Asks may be held in "stasis" until they are relevant if they don't match up with the current goings on.

Spoilers and potentially triggering content will be tagged as such. If you have something you need tagged, shoot me an ask and I'll do my best to cover it.

Joke asks are fine as long as you behave. Me n Isabeau both have thick skin, but try not to push it. I'm not afraid to put my foot down if you make me uncomfortable.

You can talk to the mod/mun, but I may not always respond. If something is surrounded by {} <- these brackets, that's probably me speaking. Remember to address me if you want to actually, like, talk to me. (I often reserve ooc asks for mundays unless its pertinent, so keep this in mind!)

i see you there motherfucker. yeah you. i see you. what are you doing here. i TOLD you there are spoilers dude. hitting you with my broom hitting you with my broom hitting you with my broom h

[uchihaxitachi]

coincidences | someone asks you on a date |

it has been a few months since you have rescued the s-ranked criminal ninja, there have been several instances of cute moments between you two, you two have also had your first kiss. of course that was when you were too drunk & you do not remember, itachi has also not reminded you of that at all. despite everything, the one promise that the uchiha always fulfills is ‘i will protect you’ for protecting him. because he is in debt and bla bla bla. frankly — now you two are better off called ‘friends’ or maybe something different which you two wouldn’t ever explore easily.

you know he carries secrets, just because he keeps you company does not mean you have any right to probe through them. perhaps this is why itachi seems so comfortable around you. you don’t ask him about what it feels to be an akatsuki member, what it means to be an s-ranked criminal, what it means to be a shinobi, what does the headband signify? you’re more than happy being a normal human being who does not really know about chakras, about ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu whatever. just a normal cafe library owner living her life peacefully.

your cafe door opened, and it was none other than the man in the straw hat, this time you were at the counter & you beamed at his presence. “oh, itachi ! welcome back!” you cheerfully grinned; while he removed his hat and smiled gently at you. “glad to be back, it’s been what- 10 days or so?” itachi muses. aw, he has started remembering things too.. especially how long it’s been since you two have seen each other? downright adorable!!

before you could say anything further, a guy barged in. he was a regular customer now, he had just finished his usual order and was here to pay the bill. “y/n san, thank you, your cheesecakes, lovely as always.” he hummed, while you smiled. “aw thanks! i’m so glad you liked it.” itachi did nothing but observe.

“i was wondering if you’re free tonight, uhm, for dinner and stuff.” he smiled, a little timid as the proposal as you blinked. “uhm, is this a date?” you raised a brow, clarifying his intentions before hand. before you could say anything in response after the man nodded diligently, a part within you wanted to see itachi’s reaction. he looked torn, confused between telling the guy to piss off & letting you go on the date.

you gritted your teeth a little, sighing. of course… why were you even imagining things like that with the uchiha. his world and yours are completely different. funny how both you and itachi were similar in thinking in certain aspects — which is why you two have gotten along so well. you nodded at the man, smiling. “thank you, so so much for the offer. however, i won’t be able to join you for the date, i am not looking for anyone at the moment.” your rejection was polite but clear. the guy smiled, of course a little dejected but left with that.

your eyes then wandered towards itachi, not talking about what just happened. you knew too well, talking about this wouldn’t yield into anything. “so, itachi, do you want to join me for dinner?”

itachi half-smiled, his usual, content & yet so deranged smile. content for him, deranged for you because it wrecks your fucking heart up. he nodded, looking up at you. “is it a date?” the tone was teasing, and when you were offered banter by the solemn uchiha himself — you wouldn’t back down.

“date? yes, but don’t forget we’re already married.” you rolled your eyes, watching how his cheeks betray him with a slight blush.

he leans forward, flicking your forehead. getting a bit serious as the next words flicker out of his mouth. “let’s meet for dinner tonight at your place. allow me to be the chef. allow me to… talk a little about myself.” he offers, and you nodded, flicking his forehead back with a nod.

maybe today’s the day you will uncover him a tad, or maybe he is just going to tell you about himself so you know you can still run away if you wanted to.

[system-of-a-feather]

apologies for the anon! I saw your most recent post on final fusion and wanted to share some thoughts from the other end of the journey (having just achieved the first stable fusion in my highly polyfragmented system, which was really the coalescing of several fragments into a stable (!!) and more well-rounded alter)—

something i said in therapy recently that my therapist had never really thought of before was, "i don't see how you can approach lasting integrative work without coming from the foundation of radical self-acceptance." i am definitely very far from "full functionally multiple fusion" (which is what i personally call the end stages of osddid/full integration), but that sort of framework was exactly what I needed in order to begin letting go of my death grip on dissociation.

It doesn't mean "radical acceptance" as in "accepting that you cant change your parts" but a full and complete understanding that you will only ever be able to reach a state of dialogue through which you can understand and accept and assume responsibility for each other by approaching each other with the simple intent to love and support one another no matter what they are. It feels so obvious to say! but it's deceptively simple and so difficult to truly totally accept.

I feel like so much emphasis is placed on the multiplicity and not the development of emotional regulation and inter-(and intra-)personal skills that actually facilitate it/that IS the work of integration! I think the hardest part about deploying these skills internally is the fact that dissociative barriers/internal disconnect aren't perfect, and you and your parts can feel it on some level when you approach one another under false pretenses. there's no room for cutting corners

for me, coming to terms with that was the turning point that allowed any actual stable integration. it's incredible. I'm so hungry for more, and very curious about other people's experiences/journeys with integration!

Oh absolutely this 100%! (also don't need to apologize for the anon, I love yapping and hearing people yap)

Genuinely our system had a HUGE turning point that we still kind of crystal-clear remember when I think it really clicked with Riku and XIV and then THAT realization just echoed throughout the entire system. Cause like at a certain point, Riku and XIV had spent like an entire year literally feuding for control / dominance / just hating each other for existing and had really only gotten around to learning to tolerate / live with one another

But there was this time when - we forget exactly why - but XIV was SEVERELY triggered and actually going through it and I believe actually did kind of self harm in an atypical way and then there was Riku who had a moment of "Oh, he's actually suffering. Yes I could walk away and go 'god damn i just came back to an injured body because he couldn't calm down' but honestly, I don't really care about that - I'm genuinely worried about him and want to make sure hes doing fine rather than walking away from this and pretending it didn't happen or was #quirky" and so they actually made sure we were physically safe and literally just found a nice place to sit down irl and ACTIVELY went out there to check in on him

And that was just a very very impactful moment because XIV as a part literally never had anyone so much as worry about him let alone go out of the way to check in / support and even less so when he had done something dangerous / destructive and it was a really warm experience for the both of them since it was this heavy mutual realization of "Oh we're all just struggling and hurting and everything else is a distraction from the fact that we are ALL not doing well and we ALL haven't had anyone who loved or cared for us and we ALL deserve to have someone who would do that."

And that one instance actually ended up with this very ride-die mentality between the two of them of very radically always being there for one another and since that made both of them SO much stronger, they both took that into how they interacted with other parts and then that just kept echoing

And so now you see Lin, who Riku did that radical and unconditional love and support for, having lead a 3+ year campaign of doing the same thing but for the Evaline Sidesystem who is NOW actually engaging with us and exploring new routes when historically theyd immediately threaten suicide / homicide at any level of request to engage in life.

Radical self love, support, and acceptance is SUCH a powerful thing to establish within yourself and your system and honestly imo its one of the things I love about DID because while its a very "sink or swim" sort of thing, DID makes it arguably a lot easier to see and understand and develop that radical and unconditional sense of self love because you are operating with - what feels like - different people and its a lot easier to learn to radically love other people than it is to try to apply that same radical love to yourself; at least in our experience as a heavily traumatized person.

After a certain point, that level of "I radically love any and every part as they are with every issue they have" just kind of pitters out into a whole sense of self love and support and that internal strength and its just genuinely so fucking amazing.

Thats a lot just to say though, your therapist is 100% correct and I do think people see radical self acceptance as "I can't change my parts" when honestly it should be "my parts are doing their best no matter how 'bad' their best is or what they might say and no matter what they do, I will support, love and care for them"

Acceptance, in this sense and in my opinion, shouldn't be "I acknowledge they exist and will not try to control them" but rather "I accept whatever place them come from and I will treat them with love, care, and support no matter what it is that they come from."

That sort of radical self acceptance and support is probably our #1 value in life and principle we have above all else - Buddhism, Communism, Nature loving, hell arguably even animal loving and fuck do we love animals.

[galway-girlatwork]

Masterlist and AO3

So I am still new to this whole masterlist thing but again I just wanted to put all my works up. So if you feel froggy jump. If the summaries aren't your shot of whisky, then scroll on by.

Joel Miller

Echoes of Hope-

In a remote cabin, Raven finds solace in living off the grid, maintaining the life her late parents envisioned. The isolation is interrupted when she spots a man and a girl approaching her property. Initially hostile, the trio’s encounter, laced with lies, deceit and budding passion, show just how alliances are formed but they are fragile things, that can shatter in an instance.

Fragile State-

The aftermath of a traumatic car accident leaves a family struggling with fear and uncertainty. The emotional toll weighing them all down as they try to find some normalcy which they all know is impossible until he wakes up. Vulnerability and desperate needs for the man who is the center of their lives to remember who they are and the life he had with them.

Concert Charms-

What happens when you go to a rock concert? Confusion, angst at miscommunication, you begin to wonder if it’s worth getting involved with a stranger. But backyard BBQ’s leads to something more and who knows what can happen in twenty years.

Airwaves-

A hardworking single dad raising two daughters spends his evenings unwinding to late-night radio, listening to an upbeat and fiercely independent DJ with an encyclopedic knowledge of music, with a warm, magnetic voice. Joel becomes a loyal listener, calling into her show each night to request songs that resonate with his life—melodies for his girls, echoes of his past, or tunes Maggie herself loves.

What happens when they form a connection through their nightly calls? When their connection blossoms into something more than just what is said and played over the airwaves?

Beyond the Wall-

The QZ, where survival often trumps trust, two smugglers end up on the wrong side of each other. Amid the bleakness of survival, they share moments that let them briefly forget the hell they live in, their space becoming a sanctuary despite the nightmares plaguing them. But there’s hope or is there? When Tommy joins the Fireflies, something stirs in Stacie, a desire for more than just survival. She knows leaving will sever a bond, one that has been in existence for years. It’s the price of surviving, testing the limits of love and trust. How much strength does it take to leave behind everything, including the man you love?

Javi Pena

Broken Silence-A tumultuous relationship with a fellow DEA agent, is marked by tension and unspoken feelings. Can a growing affection, mixed with reckless behavior, drugs, death, money and power, really survive? From Bogota, to Miami, to Rome, how far will it go?

Frankie Morales

Beyond Times Edge-

Fairy rings do not exist. Fairy rings do not exist. Fairy rings do not exist.

Witches are not real. Witches are not real. Witches are not real.

How many times can he repeat this in his head for it to take hold? A thousand? A million?

What happens when a man transcends time and space and falls in love with a witch?

It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus, right?

Deliver Me-

Running. It was what she knew, her ex-hundreds of miles away. A relationship is not what she needed, not what she wanted. Peace is all she craved after years of living in fear, relying on the flight or fight response. Meeting her daughter’s kindergarten teacher, who was the exact opposite of David, her abusive ex, might change that. But what happens when the past rears its ugly head? Will she fight, flee or finally ask for help?

Marcus Moreno-Some Bodies

In the shadows of the ancient city, a dark romance blossoms between a healer and a sinner. It is a connection of light and dark, life and death. Can he accept her past? Can she believe there is redemption for what she’s done? Can carefully guarded secrets stay that way?

Marcus Pike-Shadow and Flame

The relationship between Agent Marcus Pike and Daciana, is a game of cat and mouse, taking Marcus around the world—London, Tokyo, Rio, and now Paris. Daciana taunts him, leaving clues that lead him to her hideouts just a little too late, fueling his growing obsession.

Their relationship is more than just professional; there’s an undeniable chemistry between them, a tension that neither can ignore. Marcus, frustrated by his inability to catch her, is simultaneously drawn to her presence.

Marcus knows that catching Daciana may come at a cost—one that goes far beyond the law.

Javi G.-You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Javi needs encouragement to get the Christmas spirit when he is down and out. Mia, his girlfriend, does what she can.

Din Djarin-Say Something

Eve’s career has always taken a back seat to Din’s. The goal was always she would start working more on her music when he graduated law school and worked for one year at a law firm. Now both of their careers are taking off but where she’s always been there for him, Eve is finding that Din isn’t always there for her. Feeling forgotten, she now lives for her music. And Din forgets that marriage takes just as much work as a career.

Supernatural

Sam Winchester-Do You Know Your ABC's

A witch’s connection with the Winchester’s put her in the hands of Crowley, determined to use her for her powers since his mother is MIA at the moment. We all know what lengths the boys will go to get back someone who’s become an ally to them. Can they save her? Or will she save them?

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the banner and dividers. Love your work. Hugs.

Tagging cause I can. *wink*

@almostfoxglove @guiltyasdave @ninii-winchester @pedgito @ease-out-the-clutch @rivnedell @littlemisspascal @pearlessance @wintrwinchestr @burntheedges @jolapeno @morallyinept @jolapeno @tinyglamdramaqueen @604to647 @kittyfox1107

[daily-nightamins-at-25-00]

HELLO!!

Hello!! Welcome to the (un) Official Nightcord at 25:00 pharmacy!! Here we distribute all vitamins and supplements under the 25-ji group of medicine!!

Here at the Nightamins at 25:00 pharmacy, we give out all kinds of vitamins for your health!!

Vitamin Ena: Very prominent and effective, known for helping with blood circulation.

Vitamin Kanade: Helps with hearing and gives emotional comfort.

Vitamin Mafuyu: Prevents brain implosion. Very dangerous to stop taking.

Vitamin Mizuki: Helps mental health and gives self confidence! Some hair supplements are a part of this vitamin.

Along with vitamins, we also administer supplements to assist with your daily life!!

Supplement Niigo Miku: Assists with emotional regulation and reduces depression.

Supplement Niigo Luka: Gives a boost in creativity and ideas.

Supplement 25-ji Rin: Provides emotional support and gives comfort.

Supplement 25-ji Len: Helps with digestion and has a calming effect.

Supplement N25 MEIKO: Assists in solving logic driven problems, like puzzles.

Supplement N25 KAITO: Gives motivation and energy, while regulating exhaustion.

Please take these meds with caution!! Taking infrequent doses and varying sizes will cause side effects to pop up! Stopping consumption of these vitamins and supplements will lead to death, so tread lightly.

Taking more than prescribed will lead to severe side effects, some of which include social reclusion, anger issues, becoming nocturnal, death, cardiac arrest, loss of sanity, nausea, etc. More severe instances of these side effects will occur from malnutrition and deprivation of Nightamins.

Nightamins are distributed every day! Scheduled to meet up with almost every time zone!

That being said, the schedule is as follows:

Vitamin Kanade is to be taken on every 01, 05, 11, 15, 21, and 25 days.

Vitamin Mafuyu is to be taken on every 02, 06, 12, 16, 22, and 26 days.

Vitamin Ena is to be taken on every 03, 07, 13, 17, 23, and 27 days.

Vitamin Mizuki is to be taken on every 04, 08, 14, 18, 24, and 28 days.

Supplements will be provided on every 10, 20, and 30 days in the following order:

Supplement Miku during January and July

Supplement Rin during February and August

Supplement Len during March and September

Supplement Luka during April and October

Supplement Meiko during May and November

Supplement Kaito during June and December

On each 09, 19, 29, and 31 day, the vitamin will be a random art piece either official or unofficial.

#notamin for non vitamin posts

#nightamins at 25:00 for daily vitamins!!

Each member will have their own tag! It being their type, surname initial, and name! (Ex: vSEna, s25Len, vAMafuyu, s25Meiko, etc.)

This blog also has some occasional accidental milgram and other fandom content. Reference to the Amane President post that I reblogged on the wrong account and won’t take down.

My firefighter related ramblings because I love them <3

#Fire Department Ramblings for that btw

Important!!: I am very bad at tagging and will continually forget to do so on non-nightamin posts. I’m working on it but please be patient and careful!!

DISCLAIMER: I am a minor ( @calleigator (pjsk id is 432929375353335813) and am NOT affiliated with SEGA, Colorful Palette, or anything official related to Project Sekai. Also this was very much inspired by @daily-vitamin-ena so thank you!!

Also!!: I am the Janitor ™︎ for Fazlens :D

OG divider by @/Kawaii-Lau!! Edited to suit Niigo

[seventeenlovesthree]

Your resident Taikoura president took over two decades to realize that these two scenes are actually parallels to one another.

Probably because they're not playing out in the exact same way and don't have the same weight in the grand scheme of things; one moment is framing a B plot, the other is sprinkled into the A plot, but more in the back. But in the end, they have, indeed, several things in common:

Taichi Yagami may need a while to get over his own stubbornness, but once it hits him, once he's realized that he was in the wrong, he will take the step to apologize.

Note that in both scenes, he is not being 100% straightforward - in Sora's case, he is sending a mail, in Koushirou's, he can't look him in the eyes. There is a sense of shame, of guilt; it took him a while in both cases (days in the former, minutes in the latter) to realize his wrongs after all, that he may have been insensitive to some degree, so it takes a bit of courage to get out the correct words...

On the other hand, one may want to argue that the "reasons" for their fights seem rather "insignificant" at first glance - but that is the exact point, let's not forget we're talking about 11- and 12-year-olds here. Without going too much into analysis mode here, both scenes are intertwined in their respective arcs: Sora may have gotten mad at Taichi because she is not at peace with herself and struggles with her identity at that point ("Should I dress more feminine or not, should I change my appearance, am I not appreciated and liked for how I always was?"). And, obviously, Taichi didn't have the context of her getting mad. Koushirou on the other hand historically struggles with reading the room when he is in hyperfocus mode and him reading e-mails in a tone that may have hit a nerve in Taichi was inevitable - Taichi was on edge already anyway and getting unintentionally "criticized" may have been the tip of the iceberg for him to snap. So in a way - Taichi upsetting Sora and Koushirou upsetting Taichi both happened by accident due to communicative misunderstandings.

Despite both instances being stretched out over several scenes, the most important part is: both Sora and Koushirou are forgiving Taichi eventually. There is no malice, no bad blood, no "break" in their bond, no matter what happens.

And in a very deep, meta, "reading way too much into everything" kind of way, Taichi's bond with Sora and Koushirou is also being mirrored with his bond with Agumon/WarGreymon. Because Taichi was reckless, WarGreymon could not have kept on fighting and got hurt. Hence why Taichi "indirectly" apologizes for that too - because in the end, they will only succeed when they overcome their struggles together.