#several other instances i am forgetting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mayasaurusss · 1 year ago

Note

Transfem Jackie in the wilderness??

The feeling of you.

Contents: female reader, transfeminine Jackie, angst and comfort, internalized guilt, detailed descriptions of feelings, exploring themes of transexuality, 3rd point of view from Jackie's prespective, vanilla smut, gentlia described vaguely. Not really thought plot.

Words count: 7k/ about 12 pages

Author's note: As you read, this is a transfeminine Jackie oneshot. I wanted to explore themes of self hatred in many ways. Since I am not transexual, I based myself on the expereince someone in my life had to describe various moments in this oneshot. If this might be offensive to anyone, please dm me so I can edit this work. This is the first time in an oneshot where I write full on smut. This might not be very 'sexy' then, so forgive me for that. This oneshot contains vanilla-ish sex, so it might not be everyone's cup of tea. Anon, I'm sorry for the several months long wait, but I wanted to be sure to write something in character for Jackie.

To make reading easier: the italics are charcaters thoughts. First half is from Jackie's 3rd pow and second half (from smut onwards) reader's 3rd pov.

Enjoy everyone!

When you joined the Yellowjackets soccer team, you didn't expect to fall heads over heels with its capitan, Jackie Taylor.

It was a rainy November afternoon when you joined. You had seen Jackie walk around school from time to time, but have never interacted with her this close, for all it was worth, you didn't even know she was the soccer team captain. You joined the team some months after your best friend Vanessa did; she had insisted that it was fun and it would build up your confidence. So, you have joined.

Vanessa had talked about your frail character with Jackie before you joined, telling her that you were insecure in your abilities, so, after the coach had tested you, Jackie choosed to assign you the substitute position of right winger. So, you wouldn't have had to play all the time.

Right before you got introduced to the team, Jackie had talked with you. A look of worry was visible in your eyes and Jackie, even if she didn't know you all that well yet, was slightly worried. For you maybe, yes, but also that you could potentially be more of a burden to the team, if you didn't do well enough. After all, Jackie needs to have as many competent people in her team as she can. You need to grow more confident.

So, she had taken you by the arm and led you to a secluded place right outside of the field's entrance. Jackie had looked up at you and smiled kindly, "Well, are you ready to go?". You had felt incredibly scared and apprehensive that day but when you felt Jackie's hand lightly touch yours, trying to get you out of your head, you felt safe, seen.

That was the first instance of your feelings blooming for Jackie. At every game, she did not ever forget to encourage and praise you for your actions. Even when you didn't perform well, you knew Jackie would always be there to make you feel better.

To her surprise, a year after having joined the team, you were almost a completely different person. Confident, strong and willing to stand up for herself and others. Jackie did have to admit that your change was more than welcome. She could never say it out loud, but whenever she saw you in the changing room, her heart skipped a beat. Of course, Jackie had to maintain her reputation at school.

No one, besides her parents and Shauna, knew that Jackie wasn't who others thought she was. Since she was a child, she had felt like she was missing a core part of herself. It was when she met Shauna that everything changed: with her, Jackie had confessed her worries and secrets and in exchange, got the help to finally become her true self. Her parents weren't as supportive as she thought they were going to be. Sometimes, she saw her mothers sending glances in her direction, which she couldn't decipher as worry or disdain; but she didn't care.

In an attempt to finally convey that image she built of herself, upon entering her new school alongside Shauna, she had seduced Jeff, one of the guys she found less ugly. She wasn't able to fully explore herself before jumping hand in hand with him in the relationship.

The first time and only time she and Jeff have had sex, she didn't dare to make him look. Somewhat, she managed to create an excuse to not strip and only get him off. It was a rather boring and disappointing night. But she hadn't left him, in a way Jackie still felt some kind of odd feeling when she was with him. She couldn't tell if it was love.

This is why she couldn't show herself shy when she was near you. She couldn't risk her image, people would talk if they saw her behaving in a flirtatious way towards you, and Jeff would leave. She knew he was probably cheating on her, but as of right now, she couldn't worry less.

Jackie feels her mind slipping out of consciousness time and time again. She can vaguely feel what is happening near her, bodies bumping on her shoulder and light dimming lower and lower until, behind her eyelids, she can only stare back at the darkness.

Shauna wakes her up, and she's not sure she's completely herself at this point. Her body moves before her mind can process what's happening and just mere seconds later, she falls hard to the forest floor. Just as her cheek comes into hard contact with the naked soil, her mind registers what's happening. Jackie looks behind herself to see something that shakes her to the core and will for the years to come. People, her teammates flooding away from the main entrance of the plane, all gushing out like droplets of the leftover alcohol of the red cup she had drank from last night, at their last party.

Jackie struggles to get back to her feet, her legs giving just as she gets up. Shauna is there, she holds her and runs her fingers on her face, tracing over the bruise that has begun to form. She searches for your face among the others and finds you clutching at your left leg, a scar running down your hips.

Jackie's eyes follow as Shauna gets back into the plane and a feeling of dread fills her heart. She knows that if she doesn't help Shauna, her best friend will die. When she enters into the crashed death trap smoke fills her lungs and her vision. She searches for Shauna, finding her fiddling with something behind her shoulders. For a second she considers slapping Shauna, telling her that she's an idiot and taking her back, but when she hears Vanessa's desperate sobs her brain is filled with fear and horror and something akin to bravery. Her hands brace on either side of the seats and summoning a bravery she didn't know she had, along with Shauna, Jackie manages to open a window of opportunity for Van to slip out. Once the fresh air fills her lungs again and her brain is awake, Jackie searches for you.

Misty had hastily put together various bandages that ran down the entirety of your leg, blood already seeping out and darkening the cloth. Jackie can't even register that she has you in a death grip until she feels your chest moving on hers in an attempt to get more air in your lungs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- '' her words get cut off as you push into her, already wettering the neck of the blue and yellow jacket she wore. Your throat bobs and tears fall from your eyes ``I, I'm scared". Jackie holds you to her chest, sobs threatening to leave her body, "Me too".

The smell of fire and pine needles filled the air around you, the tall trees shielding your view of the night sky. Hours after the disaster, you were surprised to find yourself enjoying your teammates' jokes near the campfire. You would have expected to feel this happy in another situation, but there you were: laughing in the dark night with the corpses of your old friends already starting to decompose back into the deathtrap. Jackie had insisted on sitting near you along Shauna. She kept to herself, having to maintain that image of her authority. Maybe she could be the one aiding the team to take a stand against nature. But in the aftermath of saving Van she had let her selfishness surge again and had protested against her cleanser being used as a sanitizer. She didn't mean to, the words left her mouth before she could understand the gravity of the situation. This wasn't what she was prepared for, her mind wasn't prepared enough to survive, to see the lifeless bodies of her own friends burn and decompose under her eyes.

Jackie had gotten silent for some time and her mouth had tasted the tears that were threatening to fall, but when she had felt your touch linger on her hand, a feeling of calm panic had washed over her. Your eyes stared into hers, understanding, saying 'I feel you, I understand you' and her heart ached. The fear was still clawing at her heart but she tried to subdue it in favor of quietly looking at you, trying to breathe through the hurt. Unbeknownst to her, Shauna's envious eyes had watched the whole interaction with anger boiling over the surface.

That night, Jackie dreams. She dreams of the last game, the leather of the ball comes into hard contact with the white metal of the goal and bounces back away from her and the other team wins. She dreams of a world where she and Shauna are now in her room, sad and bitter, but not here. Not on a cold night. She dreams of a world where she comes back to Jeff, he comforts her by kissing her cheek and whispering sweet, fake nothings to her. She dreams of him finally admitting he cheated, of a world where after months of sadness and thought, she manages to confess the strange feelings she has whenever you're around. She dreams of your lips touching hers.

If only... if only she didn't score, maybe...maybe...

The morning had come by fast, a pale light shone down from the trees and greeted their painful awakening. Jakcie had fallen asleep the night prior cuddled between you and Shauna. All the team had cuddled closer during the night in an effort to maintain as much heat as possible. The soil was scattered with clothes, remaining junk food leftovers, branches and the mechanical remains of the plane. And when she woke up, Jackie had panicked. As quietly as possible she had begun to hyperventilate, the reality of the situation finally kicking in. In an effort to keep calm, to get comforted, Jackie hides her face into your chest and lets her tears fall freely. In your sleep, you cling onto her and for a split moment, her heart bursts out of her chest. It feels like her rib cage has suddenly tightened on her organs and her body has been set aflame. She couldn't feel like this. She shouldn't. And why with you of all people? Why you, and not Jeff? Why you, and not Shauna? What is in you that makes her poor heartache, even in the most desperates of situations? Nevertheless, Jackie allows herself to feel and falls right back asleep. Reality can wait for some time.

When the bodies had been buried and were beginning to dissolve into the earth, a heavy silence had weighted on the team shoulders. At least they could rest in peace, for the rest though only chaos was waiting. Jackie had never been so scared in her life. So, when Taissa shouted that she had seen a lake nearby, Jacki couldn't believe it. Or, more accurately, she was scared of leaving. What if the rescue team came just as they left? And what if they didn't find them? She couldn't afford to lead her team into another hazard. so, when almost all of the team agrees to go, Jackie feels betrayed. It's stupid and selfish but she does, especially when Shauna raises her hand in favor of leaving. Without too much thrust, Jackie follows. She steps away from Shauna and walks with you, helping you move your leg on the uneven forest floor.

When she spots the shore, a sense of wonder and happiness fills her for the first time in hours. With her help, you manage to speed up to the lake. There, a realization dawns on her. She hadn't told the others that she was 'different'. No one here except Shauna knew. What would they have thought of her? "Aren't you going in?" she heard your voice ask her. "Uh, I- I don't know..." she stammers out. Her eyes widen when she sees you changing out of your dirty clothes "Well, I'm going. Misty had said that the water might cleanse my wound, but she never talked about lake water" Jackie vaguely registered your response while her eyes were still trained on your figure. "I hope there aren't any germs there" you lose the branch that supported your uneven walk in favor of trying to get out of your pants.

"Hey Jackie... I know this is weird to ask, but can you help me out? I can't crouch low enough to pull them off" her heart skips a beat and almost automatically, she starts to undress you out of your pants. She's sure her cheeks are a bit more red than usual. "Ah, thank you. Are you sure you're not coming in?" she doesn't know, she isn't sure. But she so, so wants to be there with you. "Uh yeah just, just let me change and I'll be there".

Jackie's eyes follow as you dip into the water. Vaguely, she can feel her blood flow in her body faster than normal, but she dismisses it. When she nears on the shore, as quickly and as carefully as possible, Jackie strips out of her clothes and watches for any unwanted gaze. When the cold water crashes on her skin, her body begins to cool off and that thirst she felt has been quelled. Now she reaches you and guides you to deeper waters, careful to listen to any signs of discomfort from you.

That's how you spend the rest of the afternoon: splashing each other with water, resting on the rocky shores of the lake and gossipping. The everpresent eye of Shauna watching your every move. When Lottie had spotted something in the distance, everyone had been on the move, hoping to find a new shelter for the night. And they did. The cabin was decrepit. Its roof was slightly slanted, vines and vegetation covered the wooden walls; but it worked. It could work. When she entered, a smell of mold and old plants had hit her nose. She found a can of green beans and when attempting to open it, her hunger preceding the thought that maybe she could have preserved it, she was greeted with the sight of many greenish beans swimming in a gray pool of liquid.

On the other side of the room, some of the girls are checking out one of those old sex magazines. Natalie calls out to you "Hey look, this girl kinda looks like you" and right then and there, Jackie crumbles. "Nah, she doesn't look like me! You have a shitty sight Scatorccio '' the team's eyes all gather to one point in the page, some let out whistles while others comment on it. "So, are you like this gentlelady under your clothes?" Van jokingly teases you "Guess you'll have to discover it yourself". Despite thinking she's above this, Jackie steals a glance as she walks out. And it's true, that woman did look like you, despite some differences. And now, Jackie has to deal with yet another problem.

She feels her body shift without her wanting to and heat spreads through her lower abdomen, begging to be put out. She walks out of the door fast and follows a trail behind the cabin. There, she tries to calm down but to no avail, images of you fill her mind and she feels her shorts tighten. Jackie lets out a grunt of discomfort: the situation wasn't exactly the most comfortable one to 'rub one out'. She looks back at the cabin, it's far but still in view: maybe here she can take care of herself with no prying eyes watching.

Jackie slips out of her shorts and starts to palm at her length. She tries to think about Jeff, about Shauna, even about her celebrity crushes, but nothing works. Everything morphs into you. So, when she finally gives up and allows herself to fall into your image, she finds that her body is already at the brink of release. She feels your hands stroking her skin, the tension releases out of her shoulders and your voice whispers reassurances in her ear. "Let it go" and she falls from her high, her legs give out and the skin meets the hard ground. Her gaze falls to her hand. Oh god, what have I done?

The afternoon lights had started to shine through the trees. After taking care of her little problem, Jackie had come back and sat on the wooden porch at the side of the cabin. This can't be real. It can't, right? Her heart aches far more than she realized. She doesn't belong here. She is angry, sad and terrified. This isn't real.

Regret, both for the plane crash and for what she had just done. Did she really jerk off to a friend in the middle of the forest, right after what happened? God, how could she be so disgusting? So careless? People died and all she could think about was fulfilling her own needs. Like always Jackie, you always have to be the center of attention. You couldn't even let your teammates have a peaceful rest, you just had to think about yourself huh? Can you even feel something, anything for others? Do you have anyone else in your mind except yourself?This just shows the utter scum of a person you really are. You waste.

Back at home, everyone always counted on her. She was the voice of reason, the one person who could bring different people together under one team. She had been the one to create the Yellowjackets, to care for them, to nourish them. She knew she was selfish, selfish and stupid, but she really tried. Jackie didn't mean to be this much of a fucking liability, but she couldn't help it. This place, these people, did they even think of her as an equal? Or did most of them fake their appreciation for her? She didn't mean to be a bother, trying to fix the old music player instead of doing the chores, but she needed desperately to not think. Please, for the love of God, get me out of here.

Days, months have passed and winter starts to tighten its cold hands on the Yellowjackets. All of them know. When winter comes, they might die. Every night, the last breeze of autumn comes knocking on the door in the form of the Grim Reaper, begging to be let in. To join the fun. For how much their determination is worth, nature has a sick way of playing with its prey.

They don't have to think.

That's why Jackie had hosted a seance in summer, to distract them. And that's why she decides to host a Doom Coming. Death is already at the door, so why not having fun in the last few weeks of their lives? And her life is just a mess. Jackie feels as if all of the world's faults weigh down on her shoulders. She's sad, bitter and angry: sad for Laura Lee and her unfair death, bitter at Shauna and Jeff, and angry at the world.

Finally, night has fallen. The sun is lowering down the horizon, the cold air nipping at the skin, but she tried to ignore it. The camp smells of leaves, fire and earth. It's almost calming. Laughs and wind and fire crackling fill her ears. Jackie sits on a log which acts as a stool and closes her eyes.

Right now, when everyone is partying, she allows herself to be vulnerable. In the months following the summer, Jackie had come to care less and less about what others might have thought about her if her secret came to be known. So her facade had finally started to crumble.

Jackie sat on the log, her legs spreading far apart, her back hunched and with her face in her hands. She knew the others would look at her and make fun or feel sorry for her, but right now she didn't care too much. A quiet whine left her body and trickles of tears staining her cheeks. Something moves at her right side and she jumps up to see you holding two makeshift wooden bowls. "Hey, thought of giving you this. You haven't eaten at all".

Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe Jackie would rather die, her body to be eaten by the people she loved most and then dissolve into the earth, broken apart by nature and scattered like a constellation. "I... I am fine" she mutters into her hands, trying to mask her sobs.

"But you're not Jackie. You're so not fine; don't you think I can see that?" she's taken aback by your teary eyes burning a hole through her heart. You push the tears back in and hand her the warm bowl of soup. "I am scared too, Jackie. We all are. But at least, just before the end...won't you try to be happy?" and you know that asking her this is stupid and pathetic, but you too need to push reality away. And Jackie doesn't have enough strength to deny you. "...You're right", she takes the makeshift wooden spoon and dips it into the brownish soup. She lets the earthy flavors fill her mouth. "This isn't half as bad as I thought it would be'' Jackie smiles as she sets the bowl down. A giggle leaves your lips as you stand up, your legs feel wobbly and your skin starts to feel uncomfortably hot. "Say... you wouldn't want to have... a dance with me, would you?" words slurred, you try to pry Jackie out of her log and she happily complies.

Jackie feels strange. She isn't in total control of her body, her mind is foggy, her body moves slowly and lazily. She looks at you with lovey dovey eyes, as if you are a goddess on earth who came to relieve her of her pain. She doesn't even care that Mari's and Alikah's eyes are on both of you; as of right now Jackie only sees you. But now her mind is playing tricks on her: she sees you on her bed, naked.

"W-what?" and now that discomfort is back again, twirling inside of her stomach. "What is it?" Jackie can only feel her body stiffen once again, swaying 'Uhhh shit'. "I- I, don't worry!" but you insist with that look on your face that she can't resist. "What? What is it? Are you feeling ill?".

Shit!. "N-no I-" it's almost like her brain can't form any coherent thought anymore. Why? Why now?!, you get closer to her, an inch from her ear "Do you need something?" God damn it. "I need to- I need-" Jackie stops dead in her tracks as she feels your leg accidentally pressing on her groin. Shit! No! No, no, no! Why?! What is wrong with you?

You look down to see something puffing under her dress. What the heck was she hiding there?. It takes you a moment to understand what it really is, and when you do, you let out a small 'ohh' of understanding.

"Do you have something to tell me?" and Jackie feels embarrassed: embarrassed, guilty and disgusting. How could she have those kinds of thoughts for a friend? She's no better than Jeff, she's no better than them. "I am so, so, so sorry please, please I' didn't mean to-' ' you cut off Jackie with a shush, take her hand into yours and guide her in the forest.

You lead Jackie through low tree branches and vines, through bushes and dirt until you stumble in a beautiful clearing. Hidden between the thick branches of the pine trees, away from the cabin, the uneven forest floor becomes flat, the trees give away to green grass and moss and flowers. On the way, Jackie had noticed strange scrapes on the trees, like a knife had cut through the bark.

"This is where I come when I'm overwhelmed. I found it while having lost myself after going to get the water. You remember that day I didn't come to the cabin after dark?" Jackie nods, waiting for your voice again "I actually had been walking on circles, some feets away from the cabin I took the wrong turn and ended up in the wrong place, here." From your pocket, you fish out a small cutting knife, an old candle and a couple of matches you had stolen from Dead Guy's stash. "Luckily, I had this with me" you gesture to the knife, "If I hadn't, I'm not sure I could have come back". You let your things fall to the base of a tree, forgotten. "So," you say as you sit down and pat the ground next to you "mind explaining what that was?".

Jackie feels as if her blood had become ice cold; she's terrified, so much so that she's stiff and can't bring herself to sit near you. "Come here" she awkwardly lets herself lay on the ground with her legs tucked under her body and away from you.

"I- I am..." throat closing in on her words, she takes a breath and gathers all the courage she has left in her heart "I wasn't happy once. Before. I didn't realized it once, Shauna helped me understand. Sometimes I faked begin happy just to see the people near me happy. To see my parents happy. But once I started to put my own happiness before, I understood". Jackie feels as if a block of ice got stuck in her throat and it's preventing her from speaking clearly.

"For the time we have left, I will continue begin myself. I- I don't care what others think of me" and maybe that last part was a lie, maybe she does care. Every human need reassurance. But when she says that, she's looking directly into your eyes, with determination. A smile graces your lips and Jackie feels as if she has died for a moment and her soul reached heaven "I understand you" which is far better than any 'okays or 'alright's she has gotten so far. "Y-you do? I thought, I thought you would be... grossed out", silence fills the air and Jackie's breath hitches, waiting for the final blow at her heart. "You could never 'gross me out' Jackie, why did you even thought about that?"

"I really thought that you might-" Jackie's words die engulfed in your arm, her head cradled on you, "You are safe with me". Something in her, a cage, breaks into million shining pieces and lets her heart beat red blood into her flesh. Jackie feels as if the old cruel world broke and left space for a new, shining future, one she shares with you. She weeps into your shoulder, finally understood, happy, euphoric, free from her own self and from the world's expectations.

You let her weep into you for some time, the sky's color changes from the purple and orange evening glow to a light cobalt, the stars already starting to show.

"Now, I want to ask you something else..." your cheeks feel suddenly hotter, thighs closing in on themselves. Jackie listens to you, and you're suddenly very interested on your hands. "That... thing that happened back there... why? Why did it happen while we were dancing?". Ohh shiiit.

Jackie feels sick. A ball of nausea forms in the deepest parts of her stomach and reaches out to her mouth. For a second, she feels like she will throw up. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry I forgot, I-" and now, emotions and feelings of the past months come crashing down on her heart. And when she parts her lips, it is too late to stop.

"I... like you. I do. I've felt like this for a while now. Back there I don't- I don't know why I felt like that and why it happened, but t-that's not like me at all! I- I am-" but the silence that follows is enough for Jackie to stop. Right then and there, she knows she has lost you. "I should probably go..." she says to you; Jackie's muscles move to follow her torso but your arms hug her shoulders before she can escape you. For a moment she's confused and almost thinks an animal might have tackled her to the ground, but when she feels your touch on her cheeks, peace fills her heart. You lightly trace her small skin marks under her eyes and lean down to kiss her. In her eyes billions of stars shine and in her heart, billions of stars explode. Her body is lighter, almost made of condensed air. It almost feels like a sin when she touches your hand: like if her fingertips could dirty the beautiful soul in front of her. "I want you too" you say to her, a whisper. Now she truly is gone.

Jackie kisses you back with a passion you didn't know she had in her. Everything is forgotten: the dirt of the soil, the rotten cabin, the looks of the others, the touches of Jeff, the desire for Shauna, the desire to run from the world. Here and now, Jackie is at peace. Finally at peace, after months of hardship. Her heart beats and her blood runs, and she's happy. So, so very happy.

When you leave the kiss, Jackie feels lightheaded. A dark feeling inside of her screams to stay, to take, to devour. She takes you right back into her arms, clinging to you so hard that you're sure your bones will snap. The kiss becomes raw, hungry and dangerous; all lips and tongue and teeth. Her hand cradles the back of your head and with the free hand, she claws at your shirt. There is a feeling blooming inside her groin and stomach; she wants to devour and be devoured. You get rid of your clothes and discard them aside. Now Jackie can see you in all your beauty, skin shaded by the blue evening night.

It's getting dark.

"Maybe, maybe we shouldn't..." Jackie whispers in your mouth but makes no effort to stop. Your hands find her soft skin, you cradle her head upwards facing you, "Let morning come". Your hands find Jackie's skin underneath her dress and her breath stops, she tries to gulp down air in her lungs but they feel tight. Your hands are just so soft and she feels so good, so right here with you. For the first time in a while, she doesn't have to be in charge of anything. For the first time, she can be her whole, broken self without needing to be something she's not. With a trembling voice, Jackie asks you to help her out of her dress. The cold air hits Jackie all at once, making her shiver but she is too caught up in you to care. As soon as the dress is off her hands are already on your skin, touching wherever they could. "I- I want to..." but she couldn't find in herself the strength to say what she wanted, needed to do. Instead, Jackie decided to crash her lips into yours again and rest her hand on your back, atop the clasps of your bra, a silent request. The dizziness of before had almost worn off by the time you were bare before her. A breathy sigh left Jackie's lips "Wowza...", you couldn't help but let out a giggle "Really? 'Wowza'?".

"What?! I couldn't help it..." her words trail off when her gaze falls to your chest. Fingers come down on you, caressing and touching and groping at every inch of skin she finds. She props you up on her lap, trying to relive the pain of her hardness starting to show. It's almost embarrassing how desperate she is, her cheeks are flushed red, her eyes unfocused and watery. Jackie's lips circle your nipple, biting and licking and sucking and tugging at your skin. Jackie's length gets harder and hard by the minute, for every time her name falls off your lips. All the uncomfortable and guilt has gone, leaving behind something dark and primal. She starts to hump on your ass while continuing to suck on you. "Oh, I see someone is eager" and all that confidence she had goes right out of the window, her sober self comes out more embarrassed than before "Oh- gosh I'm-I am sor-" but she is shut down by your grinding down on her. "Who said you could lead tonight?".

Oh shit I'm so into this.

"N-no one..." her voice came out shaking with excitement, the prospect of the night and all the scenarios playing out in her head.

"That's right, you deserve a break" not as sexy as she would have wanted, but this is fine too. More than fine. She was tired of feigning leadership. Your hands fiddle with the waistband of her underwear, feeling around the skin of her waist. This feels like a torture to Jackie. "Please, I-..." she meets your hands and tries to grind into you. As teasing as ever, your touch skims right on her thighs, squeezing and stroking her skin. "Tsk, I thought you wanted to be taken care of. Maybe I should stop?".

"N-no! No, please I will be good I promise". Jackie settles back against the earth, her puppy eyes looking up at you with the fear that you won't touch her anymore. "That's what I wanted to hear". Finally your fingers dip under her waistband and pull, freeing her after what felt like an eternity. Now, the both of you are bare against each other. "What do you want me to do, Jackie?" after some thought, Jackie says, "I... I want to taste you... Please....".

Now you take her place, laying down on the earth. Jackie watches you with adoration while her fingers start to travel downwards. Her fingers part your legs and she kisses the skin of your thighs, just mere inches away from where you need her the most. You whisper her name, wanting her to get on with it, to please you. At that, Jackie dips into you. After months of desire, it feels like heaven on earth. Her fingers tease your clit, circling it multiple times before moving down. But you're not prepared enough for the intrusion. So, Jackie starts to suck on you. She's so attentive and shy it makes you want to cry. You ground on her face and hear her letting out a whimper, she's getting pleasure from this too. When you are wet enough, Jackie's ring finger teases your opening and enters. You have already done this before, but it pales in comparison on how Jackie is making you feel. Almost like a shock running through your body and a wildfire spreading in your limbs. And you are sure that if Jackie continues, you will combust on the spot. Finger flicking your nipples, tongue occasionally joins her fingers to lick up your slit, eyes always fixated on your face twisted in pleasure. You look under her to see her free hand stroking her length quickly, white wetness dripping from it. "I- I am about to..." but your words die in your throat. When Jackie comes up again, the lower part of her face is covered in your release, she's still stroking herself. "Please, please I need it, I need it" she continued as she came closer to you. "What do you need Jackie?" she whimpers, desperately humping into her hand "y-you please. Your... mouth".

You smile at her, reaching to tease her length but just a few movements of your hand are enough to send her over the edge. Jackie gasps when she comes undone, her hands tightening over your shoulder. "O-Oh God I, I usually last way more than this..." you snort at her, "Hm? Way more?". Her brows are furrowed, cheeks red with embarrassment "...ok, a bit more". You decide to stop teasing her and reach down, sucking the last drops of her release. Her moans encourage you to get on top of her, legs straddling her hips on both sides. Slowly, you began grinding down on her.

"Oh... I like this'' Jackie moans in your mouth, hands exploring every inch of your skin. After what feels like an eternity, you line up Jackie's lengt with your slit, sliding it from under you on purpose and meeting her hips. "Please... stop teasing..." she lets out a grunt, her hands rest steady on your hips and she begins to drag you down on her. You like this double sided version of Jackie. All her dominance goes straight out of the window when she enters you. It takes an unholy amount of strength for Jackie to not start pounding in you, and to keep herself from coming too fast. She pants as if she's shoulder deep inside a pool of cold water, shaky. It's the first time she has reacted this way to having sex. Usually, she could keep a cool, passionate demeanor but she's so excited to do this with you. It feels different from any other casual sex encounters she had.

You still above her. She has reached the deepest point she could, cuddled between dark and hot and wet. It feels too much to you and you rest your head on her shoulders, trying to catch your breath. She is so delicate with you, whispering sweet encouragements on how -"you take me so well", "You can do it" and "I like you so, so much"-. You're the one that starts to move, surprising Jackie who was still in the middle of her praise. Her breath hitches when she feels you move on her, slowly and methodically taking her to the tip and all the way back. This is perfect.

You rest your hands on her shoulder and hers rest on your hips, guiding you back and forth on her. The grip is tight enough that you can feel your skin bruise under her touch. "Fas-faster please..." you try to comply, bouncing on her faster than before, but your legs feel wobbly and uncertain. When she sees that you can't go any faster, Jackie trusts up into you and meets your hips with force, bouncing you up and down. "I-I'm sorry I' can't go slower..." it feels so good you can't really complain about it. Now you have regained enough strength to meet Jackie halfway, both of you lost in a frenzy of pleasure. She's loud, almost yelling and in the back of your mind, you are terrified someone might come and take a look, but another part of you is thrilled at the prospect of begin found out. You are a bit shocked when Jackie's hand comes down on your ass, but you don't complain. If someone walked past you, they would immediately understand what was happening.

The only sounds that can be heard in the forest are your whimpers, moans, the slapping of skin, wind and chirping and, a little farther, yelling and rabid howls of creatures that resemble humans. But that is not important right now. Your minds are too lost in pleasure to think that, in the dark corners of the night, something could wait for the chance to pounce on you.

Jackie starts to move faster than you can keep up. She moves so you lay your back against the dirt and face her. She brings your leg up and opens the space between your thighs more, allowing herself easier access. She begins to pound into you, faster and harder and sloppier than before. She has no rhythm left, no care, only pleasure and the need to relieve both herself and you in her mind. She grabs your leg hard, not letting go in fear that if she does, you might vanish into thin air. "I am close, I am gonna-" she doesn't want to cum, not right now: this moment should last forever. But she can't hold herself back anymore.

From the dark, a pair of brown eyes had spied on the both of you. Shauna was hungry and her hunger was so grand that it made her vision, her brain and the world around her blurry. She was chasing Travis, along the others but had been left behind when she heard sounds coming from behind some bushes. Her mouth had watered thinking it could be an animal but she got let down when she realized the sounds were coming from you. Her initial shock had been replaced by annoyance. She had so hoped to get something beneath her teeth, but to no avail. Then, hate had bubbled its way through her veins and into her heart. She hated you at that moment. The both of you. Shauna couldn't understand if she wanted to be with Jackie or in between you two. Sure, she thought of Jackie before, during the night hours but she hadn't dared to make the first move. And then, when Jackie had gotten with Jeff, she was hellbent on having all of her. She did realize that there was something sparking between the two of you after the first few games, but she kept quiet. She imagined herself, between bodies. Skin and sweat and kisses. She thought of taking Jackie's while kissing you, of guiding your head down, of bending Jackie over and-. Her stomach growled. It was loud enough she could clearly hear it, but not enough for you two to get suspicious of anything. That fantasy of hers would never happen. She retreated back into the dark.

Jackie is moving fast against you, hips slapping repeatedly up on yours and hands reaching every little bit of skin she can. From deep inside her groin, she feels something snap. She's not gentle with you anymore. Something raw and angry has taken control over her brain. Jackie slipped out of you and snuck behind, her arm lifting up your leg before entering once again. In this position she can reach deeper and move faster. She's being too hard on you. A scowl appears on her face when you try to slow her down by slipping from her grasp, "You- you will, you will stay here a-and take-" growling, her fingers grip at your flesh again, harder this time.

A knot snaps inside your guts and without managing to yell a warning, you release on Jackie's. She feels you dripping down on her. Your coming prompts her to do the same: Jackie gives a final long and hard thrust and leaves you empty, releasing on the soil.

She falls on top of you, spent "O-oh wowza. That... that felt amazing". You laugh at her "Again, 'wowza'?! It's not sexy Jackie" she mumbled something back at you and then hid her face in the crook of your neck. You're silent, now left with the remnants of your lovemaking and the constant presence of death looming over you. A faint trace of cold is coming out of the earth and down on you. "What do we do now?" she asks, embracing and shivering against you "Did- did we do something bad? What's gonna happen now? We will all still die-" her voice hitches. She's crying: tears fall down your skin as she nuzzles on it. You take her hand, tracing patterns on it, "We will manage".

Days later, when Jackie finally confronts Shauna, secrets get spilled. Of affairs, of grudges that lasted years, even of your lovemaking with Jackie. She had stormed out of the cabin: just like she feared, everyone had turned on her. Jackie watches the fire, cold seeping in her bones and her mind getting groggy. Shauna walks to Jackie, hand embracing her best friend's back. "Come inside" you say, your features and voice replacing Shauna's. In the back of her mind Jackie wants to preserve her dignity: walking back into the house would mean to admit that she had lost the argument; but staying out here could kill her. Jackie follows you, gripping at your arm tightly. Everyone is asleep; you lead her to rest on one open spot near the fire, finally hugging her cold body to yours. "Rest easy" and she doesn't need to be told twice, falling asleep right away in your arms. Next morning, it was snowing.

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets fic #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor x you #angst fic #smut fic #reader insert #angst and comfort

210 notes · View notes

croquettish · 13 days ago

Note

hey! i read through your big post on medieval sexuality wrt hansry and i did notice that you did use the terms 'homosexuality' and 'heterosexuality' throughout when discussing medieval sexuality

I didn't see 'Heterosexuality as a Threat to Medieval Studies' by JA Schultz in your citations so thought I could get your thoughts on what Schultz said about reading 'heterosexuality' into the past

-- Z

So for starters I will say that Schultz' article is wild.

He is swinging a bat at so many hornet nests in that thing. There was one footnote of his that was so downright rude to someone I know is a brilliant scholar of medieval queerness, and that instance was far from unique. I will also say that his ideas are... uh, somewhat limiting? To say the least. He acknowledges that we need modern ideas to talk about the past, but at the same time insists that when we use those modern ideas we are doing damage to our analysis of it. That we are, in fact, doing violence by insisting on firm meanings and definitions. There were several instances where he suggested that other scholars were entirely committed to things they were conjecturing on actually being facts. Very strange.

Regarding the atemporality of our modern idea of sexuality as a marker of identity, Schultz's ideas (though they are perhaps more extreme than most) are hardly unique, and I think you'll find that that is a common theme that you'll see cropping up in most of the books and articles that I listed that mention sexuality or gender identity in context. This goes back to the social constructionist vs. essentialist debate and is something that I talk about at some length in the literature review of my dissertation. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but while I believe such an addition to be entirely necessary in any academic work that delves into this topic, I don't believe that it has nearly as much of a place in a tumblr post on the topic. I'll be honest with you, it kind of feels like that would be pointless and preachy. We've all seen the "Sappho and her friend" jokes that are made about historians and their tendency to underplay queerness, like an example I gave quite recently involved the frequent bedsharing of Richard the Lionheart and Philip II where a historian insisted that bedsharing was something poor people did at the time, and this meant that it was extremely normie behavior on the part of these two reigning monarchs.

While I understand and (to a certain extent) respect that tendency in academic articles and books that seek to sidestep this issue and thus remove themselves from the threat of criticism and debate entirely, within the context of social media I would find that approach to be somewhat naive. If I go around regularly making sure to remind everyone that oh, by the way, don't forget! We can't project these sexualities back onto peoples of the past the way we view them today! At best it's going to have a few people nodding and fall on deaf ears otherwise, and at worst it's going to affect my credibility in this particular space. There's a reason I very deliberately went out of my way not to include certain sources in my list of recommended further reading, because I notably wished to avoid that misattribution the best I could while remaining nevertheless realistic in my approach.

In short: no, we can't project modern sexualities back onto the people of the past the way we might wish to. But people on tumblr.com are not going to really care about that, and that's fine! When I personally am looking at people of the past and I label one or other of them as any one sexuality, I am stating that with the belief that that there were medieval people who, if transplanted into the modern day and taught to understand our sexual and gender identities, would see themselves reflected in us.

If you are interested in reading more about this topic, I would recommend the following reading for your perusing pleasure:

Bennett, Judith M. “‘Lesbian-Like’ and the Social History of Lesbianisms.” Journal of the History of Sexuality, vol. 9, no. 1/2, 2000, pp. 1–24. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/3704629.

Burgwinkle, Bill. “Queer Theory and the Middle Ages.” French Studies, vol. 60, no. 1, Jan. 2006, pp. 79–88, https://doi.org/10.1093/fs/kni311.

De Lauretis, Teresa. “Queer Theory: Lesbian and Gay Sexualities: An Introduction.” Differences, vol. 3, no. 2, 1 July 1991, pp. iii–xviii, https://doi.org/10.1215/10407391-3-2-iii.

Halwani, Raja. “Essentialism, social constructionism, and the history of homosexuality.” Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 35, no. 1, 12 Oct. 1998, pp. 25–51, https://doi.org/10.1300/j082v35n01_02.

---. “Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics of Sexual Identity: Recasting the Essentialism and Social Constructionism Debate.” Identity Politics Reconsidered, edited by Linda Alcoff. Palgrave Macmillan, New York, NY, 2006, pp. 209–227.

Kruger, Steven F. “Gay Internet Medievalism: Erotic Story Archives, the Middle Ages, and Contemporary Gay Identity.” American Literary History, vol. 22, no. 4, 29 Oct. 2010, pp. 913–944, https://doi.org/10.1093/alh/ajq064.

Mews, Constant J., and John N. Crossley. Communities of Learning: Networks and the Shaping of Intellectual Identity in Europe, 1100-1500. Brepols, 2011.

Shankland, Chloe L., "Complicating Courtly Love: Queering Sex and Gender in High Medieval Literature (1000-1250)." Summer Research, 2021. 410.

Shuve, Karl. The Song of Songs and the Refashioning of Identity in Early Latin Christianity. Oxford University Press, 2016.

#tam talks #history tag

27 notes · View notes

irisintheafterglow · 2 years ago

Text

You Are In Love (Gojo Satoru x You)

summary: you can't stop dreaming about him, and your friends start to notice a change in your behavior. (2.4k words)

cw/tags: mild angst to comfort, friends to lovers, pining, idiots in love, profanity, elder sorcerers being assholes, pet names (doll, gorgeous, etc), uhh gojo loses his cool and blows up a building lol, kissing, one instance of foreshadowing manga spoilers but only if you squint

note: HELLOO GOJO NATION. ok so i'll be so honest with you, this stupid man was my #1 for so long and i think those feelings resurfaced so i got a little carried away with writing this (it's my longest fic so far, my bad). but yk something about gojo, hawks, and kuroo all being played by the voice actor just gets me. the prompt for this is from the AMAZING @creativepromptsforwriting and was supposed to be a drabble but turned into a full fic. anyways, hope you enjoy it!!

likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!

“It’s too quiet. Can I tell you guys a joke I heard on TV?”

“Mmm, please don’t.”

“But it’s funny!”

“Satoru.”

“Ooh, using my first name. Something’s up with you.”

“Something is not up with me, weirdo.”

“No, something is definitely off with you today.” You thought Suguru and Shoko had stopped listening, but they chimed in with evidence of your odd behavior.

“You said good morning differently,” Shoko added, casually taking a sip of her soda and peering at you over the rim. Her hair sways gently in the breeze outside of the convenience store you four had stopped at before heading back to Jujutsu Tech. You glare at her and open your mouth to defend yourself when Suguru adds his two cents.

“You tripped up during that last mission that should have been a cakewalk,” which was true, but you thought your mistake had gone unnoticed. The truth was, the spirit had caught you off guard with a simple teleport trick. It warped behind you and unlatched its grotesque jaws to end your life faster than you could blink. You should have been able to predict the movement with your eyes closed, but you’d been too focused on making sure a certain white-haired sorcerer was alive after your group had been ambushed several hundred feet underground. Suguru had given you a curious look after one of his demons saved your ass, and you’d flipped him off hoping that would be the end of it. “And you also flipped me the bird instead of saying thank you,” he shrugged.

“You also finish your food the fastest out of all of us, and today you haven’t even taken three bites,” Shoko says, finishing her drink and standing to toss it in the trash bin. “Something’s going on with you, and I, for one, am incredibly curious as to why.” Satoru watches you with a smug glint in his eye, and it takes all your willpower not to strangle him.

“As glad as I am to know that you all pay such great attention to my habits, I promise there’s nothing wrong.” The three of them stare at you skeptically but thankfully decided to drop the subject, instead pivoting to who’s most likely to go to jail first (it’s Gojo).

After the late lunch, you begin the walk back to Jujutsu Tech as the sky transforms into faded shades of orange and pink. The vanishing sun casts shining reflections on the surrounding skyscrapers, bouncing off the windows of speeding cars and zooming trains. Satoru and Suguru walk ahead, playfully shoving each other and almost falling over doing so.

“Alright, are you gonna tell me what’s going on now that Dumb and Dumber aren’t here?” Shoko asks as she falls into step with you. The sides of your mouth turn down, realizing that she didn’t forget about your conversation at lunch. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your closest friends what was going on; you just didn’t know how to explain what you had dreamed about the previous night and the night before that, and all the nights the past two weeks.

It began with a look he had given you after a meeting with some higher-ups in the sorcerer world. They had visited Jujutsu Tech unexpectedly, stating that they would be evaluating the skill levels of random students. Out of your group of friends, only you and Satoru had been pulled to be tested. Principal Yaga had instructed both of you before entering the room to give the evaluation your best effort and to not become indignant if they judged you poorly.

The brass declared your evaluation to be first, and you poured all of your energy into showcasing the power of your Cursed Technique. You even managed to pull off a few strikes of extension techniques that you’d been perfecting for months. Though the entire performance lasted less than ten minutes, you were breathless and light-headed when the panel told you to stop. After bowing deeply, you moved to exit the room, desperate for fresh air, but they stopped you and began listing every single reason why your demonstration was unsatisfactory. Besides “inefficient technique, predictable attacks, weak offense, insufficient defense,” and a general lack of power compared to that of other sorcerers at your level, they informed you that your Cursed Technique was obsolete and would eventually render you useless as more innately talented sorcerers take your place. You were speechless at their blunt criticism of your effort, on the verge of breaking down, but you managed to nod in acknowledgment as you stepped out of the room.

But then you saw him sitting there, waiting on his phone and looking up at you with a bright smile as he stood to greet you. A confusing blend of disappointment, anger, sadness, and loneliness panged in your heart and spread to the rest of your body, and you rapidly tried to blink away the moisture welling up in your eyes while Satoru approached. He was halfway through a snarky remark about you blowing away their expectations when his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shit, he’d noticed you crying.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me. What the fuck did they do to you?” Dashing blue eyes found yours through the clouds in your vision, and his thumbs gently brushed away stray tears that escaped down your cheeks.

“Do you think I’m weak, Satoru?” Your voice cracks when the words finally spill out, swallowing hard to push down the sobs threatening to break loose from your constricted lungs. Satoru freezes, eyes searching yours. He doesn’t answer your question immediately, but instead asks again.

“Doll, what the fuck did they do.” You can’t get a reply out in time before his focus snaps up to behind you, and a second later you hear the door roll open, one of the officials commanding Satoru to enter for his evaluation. His large hands hold your face and turn you to look up at him, and you move unconsciously to cover his hands with yours. “Stay here for me, okay?” He glanced at the official waiting in the doorway, blue eyes dark with suppressed rage. “This won’t take long.”

His evaluation lasts two minutes and four seconds. At first, the room was silent and you couldn’t hear any demonstration of Satoru’s technique, almost as if the panel was having a conversation with him before they began. Then, at two minutes on the dot, the room was blown to splinters. The door, the ceiling, the porch, and all of the furniture inside were violently thrown outward in an explosion that made the ground beneath your feet tremble. Curiously, none of the debris had hit you, but you coughed through the dust and saw that the panel hadn’t been so lucky, all of them buried under shredded beams of wood and canvas. And, standing at the center of the room’s remains with a satisfied grin plastered on his beautiful face, was Satoru. He found his way over to where you stood in disbelief and took your hand in his, interweaving your fingers and guiding you away from the ruined building.

You two walked hand-in-hand in silence back to your dorm, where he seemed reluctant to let go of your hand. Before he walked away, he finally answered your question from earlier.

“I tell you this not just as your friend, but as another sorcerer. You are not weak. Your technique is special and something that those shithead elders haven’t seen in decades, and they don’t like what they don’t understand. I know the thought of leaving Jujutsu Tech crossed your pretty little mind, but you shouldn’t. People need you here, Shoko, Suguru, Mei Mei...” He hesitated, taking a shallow breath and reaching back for your hand.

“Me,” he said, his voice low, and his voice got even softer until it was almost a breath. “I need you here.” As quickly as the fondness in his voice appeared, it disappeared. “And, plus, you definitely can’t leave us here with ol’ Yaga. What the hell am I gonna do if I can’t hide in your room while he’s trying to beat my ass?”

You laugh, and the feeling makes you feel better. He makes you feel better. You smile back at him and finally bid him farewell, and he raises your hand to his lips as he says goodbye.

After that, he’d appeared in your dreams for two weeks straight. The dreams started as a continuation of what would have happened if you didn’t just say goodbye to him, if you’d invited him into your dorm, or if you’d let him pull you into his. They transformed after the fourth day into what it would be like to love him and receive his love in return: stolen kisses, flirty whispers, and movie dates to name a few. All these dreams added up to the previous night’s nightmare, where a mission had gone bad and he’d been imprisoned with no hope of breaking him free. You’d startled awake covered in sweat, and barely fell back asleep before your alarm forced you to start the day.

“It’s… hard to explain,” you reply apologetically, and Shoko looks at you with so much skepticism written on her face that you have to turn away and look in the other direction.

“So something is bothering you.”

“Yeah, there is. I’m sorry; it’s just really, really hard to verbalize.”

“Can I take a stab at what’s bothering you?”

“If you could actually stab it that’d be great, but sure. Knock yourself out.”

“It’s Satoru, isn’t it?” You stop mid-stride and her face lights up with amusement. “Holy shit, it’s Satoru. You like Gojo Satoru.”

“Jeez, Shoko, go ahead and say his name four hundred million times, why don’t you? But really, what tipped you off?”

“Ten seconds ago when you asked me to stab your problem, I figured it out,” she chuckles, bumping her shoulder against yours playfully. “If it’s any consolation, I’m 99% sure he’s felt that way about you for a while.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“How do you know?”

“Would you let me off the hook if I said it was hard to explain?”

“Har, har, very funny. Could you at least try?”

“Mmm, I think it’s better if he explains it himself.”

“You’re no help, Shoko.”

“Yes, and you love me anyway. But not as much as you love Sa–” You groan, covering your burning face in both hands and increasing the speed of your steps to escape your friend’s teasing chuckles.

When you finally arrive at school, the stars have started rising and the moon hangs in the sky. You walk in the direction of the dorms when Shoko suddenly unlinks her elbow from yours, winking at you over your shoulder.

“Suguru, can you help me move something from the gym real quick? I forgot a few things over there.”

“Sure, but why do you need my help?” Shoko gives him a pointed look and realization quickly washes over his features. “Oh, OH. Okay, of course, sure.” Suguru turns on his heel awkwardly, briskly walking in the direction of the gym.

“Satoru, walk them back to their dorm. Don’t want anything happening to them after their little slip today,” she adds before heading in the other direction with Suguru, who tries and fails to communicate something to Satoru with a nod of his head.

“Alright, pretty girl, you heard Shoko. C’mere and let me walk you home before she beats my ass.”

“I think you have too many people on this planet that want to beat your ass. And, for the record, I’m one of them.”

“It’s the price of being this gorgeous, gorgeous.” A soft laugh escapes your mouth, and you swear Satoru’s smile gets a little wider. The rest of the short walk to your dorm is just as easy and comfortable, Satoru making stupid comments and you replying with a quick remark over and over until you’re back in the same situation you’d been in two weeks ago. But, this time, you realized that Satoru was a lot closer to you, leaning back against your door with your hand touching the handle but not opening it. You both spend a few moments there, just looking at each other, and his mesmerizing eyes flicker to your mouth when you unconsciously lick your lips. He opens his mouth to say something smart, but you beat him to it.

“If you’re gonna look down at my lips and say something stupid about it, you might as well do what I’ve been wanting you to do for ages.”

“Oh? And what’s that, pretty girl?”

You sigh in mock disappointment and look up at him through your eyelashes. “If you don’t know what it is by now, then I guess… you don’t deserve to do it.” His pupils are blown wide with desire, and you resist the impulse to laugh.

“God, you’re intoxicating,” he says, before pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter shut and you melt into him, arms snaking around his neck while his hands find your waist and hold you up from your knees that have turned to jelly. The first kiss is gentle and experimental, but having the flirtiest asshole in the country chasing your lips as you briefly pull away gives you a newfound wave of confidence, pulling him closer and closer until his body is flush against yours. When you finally pull away from each other and catch your breath, he doesn’t go very far, resting his forehead against yours.

“You know, I wanted to kill them. Those wrinkly assholes two weeks ago that had the gall to call you weak. And I would have, you know I would have, but you were outside… and you were crying… I just didn’t know what to do. I saw red, and, uh, then the building exploded.” You chuckle at his confession and he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, rubbing his nose against yours.

“I had a dream about you. Well, a lot of dreams.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Got a little nervous today when I heard you talk with Shoko about liking a boy, but it helps knowing now that the boy is me. And, hopefully, it will only ever be me.”

“You pretentious asshole.”

“You know it.”

“You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork.”

“I know you are.”

“And I’m never going anywhere.” He kisses your forehead sweetly, and it’s just like the dreams that had plagued you for weeks before. “Ever.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#gojo x you #gojo fanfic #gojou satoru x reader #gojo angst #gojo x reader #satoru gojo #satoru x you #satoru x reader #satoru x y/n #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk shoko #jjk suguru

896 notes · View notes

earlgreytea68 · 1 month ago

Text

Okay, everyone, I'm just going to go off about this book because I really, really need to vent. This is a book that was a bestseller, that received multiple starred reviews in major publications, that was named one of the best romance novels of the years by many outlets, and by the end I didn't just think it was a bad book, I, like, actively hated this book. I learned an important lesson that I am not going to like this author's books and so I never need to read any of them again, but most of the time I read bad books and I just get frustrated by how bad they are but this one was SO bad to me that I have to get it out.

There are obvious spoilers for the book below and I wasn't going to mention the book title because I didn't want to upset people who really, really loved this book (AND THERE ARE CLEARLY MANY, MANY OF THOSE PEOPLE), but then I was like, "Should I tell people I'm about to spoil this book???" and then I was like, You know what? I suspect my experience of this book is SO different from how everyone else seems to be experiencing this book that it's going to seem like I'm talking about a different book. (Although there are some details too specific to make up.)

THIS IS JUST BULLET POINTS BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET ANY MORE COHERENT THAN THAT. AND OMG NO ONE IS GOING TO READ THIS BUT ME lol it was more like therapy for getting through that

Alright, here you go, here is probably the most identifiable detail of the book, but the whole plot is driven by an entire two-hundred-person wedding getting food poisoning from a buffet that everyone ate but two people at the wedding. Okay, fine, I'm sure it can happen, I really wasn't bothered by that plot device. What I was bothered by is the book is very certain to tell all of us that the particular food poisoning involved wasn't caused by the preparation of the fish, and so the caterer can't be held responsible, and yet there are still several conversations within the book about how this food poisoning proves that you should be suspicious of buffets. I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious of buffets, but the food poisoning had nothing to do with the fact that it was a buffet and I guess we're all just supposed to forget that fact? And this was the recurring problem of the whole book. Things kept happening that made zero actual sense but apparently we were all just supposed to go along with it.

For instance, the very first event that the OTP does together on their Hawaiian vacation is they take a boat out to go "snuba" diving. Okay, fine, except...the hero suffers seasickness. The hero is in his thirties and we the readers are told he is widely traveled and so I feel like he would definitely know if he was prone to seasickness. Like, this isn't a rough sea where everyone is getting seasick, it's a pretty tame little boat. I happen to be a person who gets seasick. I feel like, if you have ever actually gotten seasick, you would probably avoid putting yourself in that situation ever again. At least, that's what I do. Because motionsickness is horrible. But the hero mentions nothing about how he gets seasick, and then by the end of the boat ride he's throwing up while the heroine tenderly brushes at his hair. Okay, ymmv, this was not something I considered romantic since at this point these people, we are told, still "hate" each other. But also, like, motionsickness ruins my entire day. Once you get it, you can't just easily shake it off once you're on dry land, like, it lingers and it's awful. But okay, I'm willing to believe other people get seasick in more appealing manners than I get seasick. I still think it's weird that this guy wouldn't have mentioned that he doesn't want to do a boat activity. There were a million other choices. I guess maybe we were meant to believe he was too proud to confess this weakness to the heroine??? Idk, the book itself didn't seem to think it was weird and didn't contemplate the issue very much at all. (Also, the heroine keeps the hero belowdecks on the boat for his seasickness, which I think is the opposite of what you're supposed to do, I think you're supposed to go somewhere you can focus on the horizon? But I'm not an expert on how to cure it, I just know when I feel that way I really, really want fresh air, so the idea of being stuck inside made me feel queasy.) We don't get much clarification of this because the book is first-person POV from the heroine's POV, and the heroine's not seasick, so I guess she doesn't think very hard about the situation. But the heroine apparently does somehow magically know every name of every single tropical fish because she details them all for the reader during the snuba expedition and I'm like, ...I do not buy that this woman from Minnesota who doesn't ever express any other interest in fish knows the name of every single tropical fish encountered in Hawaii. That's the problem with first-person POV.

Okay, whatever, so far these are all minor things, who cares? I haven't talked yet about the fact that these people are from Minnesota, they fly to Hawaii for vacation, and they meet not one, but two vitally important people from their Minnesota lives. One of the people they meet is the heroine's brand new boss. Who literally wakes her up from a doze at the spa where she is relaxing. If my new boss woke me up while I was wrapped in a robe at a spa, I feel like I would immediately be thinking, oh, great, this guy is a creep and now I need to find a new job. Like, this is all portrayed as if the guy is just a nice guy, and I guess he is, but I find it deeply odd that he woke up a sleeping woman in a robe to be like, "Hey! Fancy meeting you here! I just interviewed you last week for that job!" And then the new boss is like, "Oh, we should have dinner together!" And I get that the heroine felt like she couldn't refuse, but also, god, this new boss is terrible. Why would he bother this brand new employee he has literally met ONCE for like thirty minutes on her vacation????? God, I was so annoyed by this plot twist both because it seemed deeply stupid to me but also because the heroine doesn't think it's at all weird or inappropriate or even annoying that this guy is doing this. Meanwhile this new boss is like alllll up in this woman's private life and I just don't find anything about this appropriate, this seems like a million HR violations to me, I just would be like, god, this is a horrible place to work.

Oh, and then, right after we get the new boss out of the way, we run into...the hero's ex-fiancee with her new fiance. Really???? At the same hotel at the same time????? Okay, fine, we'll just go along with the coincidences, fine. But! In the face of the fact that this hotel is crawling with people they don't want to have to interact with, our intrepid hero and heroine keep going to the hotel restaurant to eat. WHY. WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS. ORDER ROOM SERVICE. The book at least tries to explain this by the heroine saying once that she refuses to pay the $12 room service surcharge, but I'm just like, God, I would do it at least once or twice to save me having to interact with all these terrible people. Literally every time they went to eat they had to endure an excruciating conversation. And they agreed that the conversations were excruciating! So why were they willingly subjecting themselves to these conversations!

So then a rainy day arrives. They're like, oh, noooooo, we can't go to the beach! (we will ignore the fact that they NEVER ONCE WENT TO THE BEACH THIS ENTIRE HAWAIIAN VACATION WHATEVER) What will we dooooooo. So I'm like, ....can't you go back to the spa? There's a spa. That's where the creepy boss woke the woman up to be creepy. Instead of going to the spa, they decide.........to go play paintball in the mud. Look, clearly these people are just people who want to make very different choices with their lives than I want to make, it's fine, it happens, whatever.

The next day the hero's like, "I want to get drunk." Okay, fine. Instead of doing this on the resort, he decides to do this in a local dive bar. Okay, fine, I guess it's about the cost? (The trip was "all expenses paid" but I wasn't clear on what they meant since it clearly didn't include room service.) But...the guy got so drunk he couldn't drive back, and so the woman really couldn't drink because she was the designated driver, and maybe she didn't mind, but I still think it's a weird life choice to be like, "I am going to drink myself into oblivion and make you sit here with me dealing with my drunk self." I mean, she thought this was all very charming, so again, I was just very much not the target audience for this book.

But the bigger issue for me with this book was not that I didn't understand any of the choices any of the characters made, but that is was just so badly written. I mean, partly that comes out in all of these previous issues, because if it had been written better, maybe I'd understand all that stuff happening. But for a romance novel, I do not understand how little romance was in this story????? It was so, so deeply weird to me. Like, every time they had a disagreement, we read all about it, but all of the times they got along happened off-page. So we've got like this whole day they spend together that is just like, "It was awesome, he was great, I couldn't believe what a good time I had." That's....I need more than that? He was great how? What did he say? What did you talk about? There was this throwaway line that they both love books, but, like, the entirety of this was because he understood a Harry Potter reference. She referenced horcruxes and he knew what she meant and she's like, I'm so glad he loves books like I do! What???? I never saw any evidence the heroine loved books -- again, they go to Hawaii and she spends zero time reading by the pool -- and he did seem to spend some time reading but we never learned what book and she never displayed the slightest interest in asking him about it. And instead in every single scene she would be like, I'd never seen him smile so much! And she would make this observation, like, during each successive outing they went on together. I guess maybe he was smiling more and more??? But I'm like, Why is she so amazed every time he smiles! He does it on every page!!! It was just so, like, Idk, I found it kind of insulting actually, but I know probably a lot of people just wouldn't think so hard about it. But I was like, ...all you can think of to prove these two people belong together is to tell me he smiles a lot and to assume I think he doesn't smile when he's not with her?

And the real, real, real problem with this, and the reason why I ended up hating the book so much by the end, is that I have no reason to be rooting for these people as a couple because I don't care about them and then the hero's brother, who happens to be a huge jerk who has been cheating on the heroine's sister their entire relationship, proves himself to be a jerk by propositioning the heroine, and when the heroine tells the hero he's like, "I don't believe you. You're reading this wrong. You're a mean, bitter person who always thinks the worst of people." Like, WOW. If that's how this guy feels about this woman....why would you date him???? And to her credit she breaks up with him, but then the whole rest of the book (which isn't very many pages, only like forty or so) is all about how much she misses him and blah blah blah and I'm just like, ...he was boring, you were boring together, find a better guy who doesn't say things like that to you. Like, I was actively upset that this woman couldn't see how awful this guy was to her, and that this was supposed to be the happy ending.

But then again, as I reached the end of the book I realized that everyone in this book was just awful all the time but it's like I was supposed to think they were nice. Like, on her very first day at work, her weird creepy boss fires her because she lied about being married when he ambushed her at the resort. DUDE. THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ANYWAY. WHY ARE YOU ALL INVOLVED WITH HER LIFE LIKE THIS!!! So, she loses her job. It's devastating. She comes home from work and her entire family is at her apartment and I'm like, oh, no, they're going to want to hear all about her big day. But no. They didn't. They were in her apartment....just because they like to be there? Like, NO ONE asked her how her day was. Zero. Zip. Imagine starting a new job and not a single member of your family -- not your mom, not your twin sister, not your cousins you're supposedly super close to -- asks you how it went. Okay, so then the family does come in handy because a cousin gives her a job waitressing, and she realizes that...now she doesn't really need to find another job? I guess this waitress job pays really well and comes with health insurance, so great for her, BUT ALSO she was just out of work for two months. We heard all about how it took her two months to find this brand new job and she was desperate and freaking out...and she loses this new job and there are zero repercussions. Why....didn't she just...waitress.....during the previous two months......?????? I was so confused but that seems like a minor point because THEN, her entire family helps set up another ambush where they help this guy show up at her place of work to loudly and publicly proclaim his love for her. Okay, so, like, I love that bit in Love Actually when Colin Firth shows up at the restaurant to declare his love for the waitress, even though it is objectively absurd, but this really squicked me out because, as I have already said, this guy's last statement to her was to tell her how awful she is, and rather than taking her side her family is clearly like, well, you're never going to find another guy so we'll have to get you that one back even though he was awful to you. And even though his brother was cheating on her sister and now everyone knows that and they're getting a divorce!! Like, I know the hero wasn't cheating but it seems so messy to me to have to constantly be interacting with my sister's cheating ex-husband, like, I had better really like the guy to do that and, as has previously been detailed, I definitely did not care about this guy enough to do that and I did not think they had anything as a couple that was worth fighting for this relationship. They dated for like a week when they got back from Maui. And then her family manipulated her into this public apology and I was just so grossed out by it, like, this woman was constantly being ambushed by people!! OH, AND ALSO, the best, most awkward part of the whole thing is the family somehow also invited the creepy boss so he could see that actually the heroine DOES love the hero and so now she deserves to be hired again???????? WHAT???????

But! I realized! That this book thinks that's charming, because in the happy-ever-after epilogue there's this whole bit where the heroine's sister doesn't want to go zip-lining and the heroine bullies her into doing it by being like, "You have to be willing to take risks!!!!!" And I think we were supposed to see this as like, The heroine learned a lesson about risk-taking! First of all: What? What lesson? What risk did she take? Taking back a guy who immediately said horrible things about her and was constantly trying to gaslight her about his brother (she knew the brother was lying to her sister but the hero kept telling her she was wrong about that, and he really never fully apologized for that or acknowledged he was unfair to her????)? Was that the great incredible risk she took? Second of all, god, could the people in this book stop bullying other people! lol I felt like I spent the whole book cringing wishing that people would just be nice to each other.

EVEN WORSE this epilogue was from the POV of the hero and I just could not abide being in his head. He kept saying "my girlfriend," "my girlfriend" over and over and it just felt like so much and I still didn't get the impression even from within his head that he really cared about the heroine or they got along well or anything, like, Idk, it was just such a weird book with such a weird vibe, when I finished it I felt so sad for these unhappy people hahahah god, just an awful reading experience.

ALSO this is so minor and again I think other people think this was charming, but the heroine's name was Olive and for some reason the hero was always calling her Olivia. This was before they got together, before they were friends, like, the day he met her he just decided he would call her a totally different name???? And I guess this WAS supposed to be charming and cutesy???? Idk, it was so weird how it landed for me, like, I was like, Call her by her name. And it's weird because I love nameplay! I was like, "God, is Eames this annoying in Inception and I never noticed???" Like, probably, but I find him charming and for some reason I did not find this guy in this book charming at all, like, the whole thing really annoyed me AS YOU CAN TELL lol I think maybe the wrong-name thing would have been cuter to me if he ever seemed to respect her in any way but to me he just never seemed to be a nice guy. At the dinner he went to with her new boss, he immediately told the boss the heroine's most embarrassing childhood story, which he does knowing that she hates it, and she's annoyed that he does it, but then she's like, But wow, I didn't expect him to even remember that much about me! I feel like that is honestly this book in a microcosm lol

#long post #reading #OH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG WHAT WAS I DOING lol

40 notes · View notes

velvetvexations · 2 months ago

Note

As a closeted nonbinary person who pretends to be a cis woman I think people sometimes forget that it can in fact be dangerous and deadly to be a cis woman.

Like I see the TRF types talking about how "at worse trans men are mistaken for cis women, at worse trans women are put in a deadly position" but that erases the fact that it can very much be dangerous and deadly to be a cis woman.

I am effectively a cis woman in most situations.

I have been neglected

I have been sexually assaulted and raped

I have been coerced into caretaking roles and providing sexual favors

I have been verbally abused

I have been emotionally and psychologically abused

I have been gaslit (which I define as an abuse tactic where my abuser over 3+ instances of denying my perceptions of reality made me believe that I couldn't trust my perceptions or understanding of reality)

I have been physically abused

And on multiple, separate, unrelated circumstances I was almost killed by my abusers

That's not even getting into less direct things like doctors having never taken me seriously leading to health issues getting worse to the point I almost died and generally misogynistic things like that.

I am trying to keep things as vague as possible to avoid triggering people while still expressing the magnitude and severity of my experiences and I apologize if I haven't quit mastered that balance.

But the point I am trying to make is that I experienced what are some objectively very very bad things, often specifically because whoever was mistreating me saw me as a cis woman.

And I am one of the lucky ones who survived and escaped and is here to tell you about my experiences. People like me don't usually have a voice. We're thrown into psych wards and other institutions. Or we have health issues but no support to leave the house and be in the world. Or we're being controlled and abused and not given the freedom to communicate that we're being controlled and abused. And way way way too often, we are murdered and found, or we just go missing and disappear.

Trans women experience violence for many overlapping and interacting reasons, but one of those reasons is just that women as a class all across the board are seen as acceptable targets for certain types of violence (and which types of violence depend on the specifics of that person like her race or class). Trans men being mistaken for cis women still puts them in a category of people where it's seen as acceptable to be violent towards them.

There have even been prominent cases of trans men and transmasc folks getting killed these past few years (purposely keeping it vague to respect the no talk of irl hate crimes boundary, lmk if even this is too much) that were talked about quit a bit on Tumblr. Like we know some trans men face violence, we know some of them even get killed over it.

But also like can we please stop acting like being a cis woman is all fine and dandy and comes with no danger or risk.

You've put a lot into this and I love you, anon. <3 I still think arguing that element this is the trap they're trying to push people in so they can effectively trick trans people AFAB into conceding they're only as oppressed as cis women, but it is true also that TRFs don't really have a drop of feeling for anyone outside of themselves and think being above someone in the social hierarchy by even a percent makes it open season on their heads, which is fucking horrifically monstrous behavior.

#trans radical feminism #discourse

20 notes · View notes

slowd1ving · 22 days ago

Note

Hi, I was just looking through and my attention got caught on the theology student/roommate sunday lil synapses from a poll and I'm just, intrigued (I absolutely adore how you write all these different lil guys, very in character for them tbh ✨️)

Anyway, I hope your studies are going well/have gone well and that youre taking some time to take care of yourself too! -🦡 (I'm feelin badger lately so imma tag as that I guess)

ok so first of all dearest badger anon I am unbelievably ecstatic you brought this up like I would have absolutely went ham into the slowburn had it been voted number one but alas (I'm not complaining though ouroboros was so fun to write), and thank you for the well wishes about my studies (finals went stupendously amazing but I'm now stuck slowly preparing for next year </3)

secondly I'd just read nerd project at the time and was struck with divine inspiration... kind of since I would've written both sunday and reader as nerds.

anyways to give you more expansion on the plot (figuratively and literally lmao):

this is set in the same university AU as the blade roommate/dan heng bandmate universe (blade roommate), but an AU of that AU if that makes sense. It's the same tense situation with your previous roommate, but you're mostly staying over at your gf's apartment

to give a rough timeline, the Blade roommate AU occurs in second year when you've already established yourself into the Trailblazers, while the Dan Heng prequel happens in first year - so this sunday student au also happens in your first year as a physics student, but it involves the music society more than any collaboration with departments (no academic rivalry 💔💔)

Music society throws quite a few events - including house parties like the one shown in the dan heng fic, but also some more formal concerts that are difficult to get into even for members, hence there's a sort of raffle system for entry if you aren't a paying member of the public. You win several times, much to your surprise, and just go for the fun of it, with formal wear that's seen better days, though nobody's paying enough attention to you to actually see the fine wrinkles, the loosened tie around your neck, the wildly inappropriate socks that just about peek from the bottom of your trousers. No one cares - not with the entrancing medley of classical pieces conducted by a grey-haired man filling the space, nor with the beguiling opera that coils through the air from your friend Robin (actually, she may have been the very reason you had such luck in the raffle)

You are a chronic backstage loiterer, with a small strawberry cake in your hand for the star of the show. On the third instance of loitering, it's where you pass by the conductor, and he takes you in. Eyes critically assessing the way you've folded your tie, the scuff marks on your shoes, even the way your glaring socks are sliding down. He's made his judgement. His mouth presses into a thin line, and though his expression is perfectly neutral, you can sense someone's abject disappointment burrowing into your back.

You forget about it as soon as you spot your friend, a wide smile on your face as you bring forth the cake. Sunday doesn't - that annoyance is enough to seep into his long-term memory, buried deep until something reminds him of it.

"Something" being the particularly poor soundproofing between two of the practice rooms. The piano accompaniment he's improvising is being infiltrated by the wild, spiraling chords from next door: harsh twang of electric guitar bleeding into the fluting notes from the piano, poisoning the calm smile on his face into something far darker, far more annoyed. There are no other rooms left. His only option is knocking on his neighbour's door and hoping that they're reasonable enough to "keep it down, please."

His eye twitches as the door swings open and he comes face to face with you, of all people. You're much more polite than he anticipated, and just as messy with your appearance as he expected: band shirt so worn there's thin holes starting to appear, belt covering one of the loops of your pants, same scuffed shoes you wore to the concert (on further inspection, they appear to be trainers).

"Sorry, man," you say cheerfully, and he privately wonders how you can appear so blithely incognizant of others. You turn the amp down, but his day is nonetheless headed towards ruin.

Actually, I lied. Joint philosophy class you took as one of your additional credit classes, alongside some ancient language and programming. For some reason, you've been feeling on edge lately - your girlfriend has been laying out some pressed shirts for you to wear, and you've caught her staring at the worn clothes you can't bring yourself to wear. A fifth disdain, the rest an emotion you can't quite place. She gets you some high-end perfume. You've smelled it somewhere before.

You're late to that philosophy class, searching for some old cargos stashed deep inside the drawer you keep your clothes when you stay over - and the only seat left is next to the conductor, too intimidating for anyone else to squeeze behind. You let out a groan mentally - he seems like he fucking hates you, after all - but as you're setting your stuff down, you freeze.

It's the same perfume. Must be a coincidence, you think, all while Sunday's observing you in turn, wondering how someone can be so guileless about philosophy. Is this a filler class for you? Must be. He'd feel more pity for you, if you weren't scribbling crude comics in the back of your notebook. Is this what you do in whatever you major in, too? He could almost sneer.

You glance at him, and he looks away. Pressed shirt, chinos in the same shade that your girlfriend bought you - coincidentally. There's a growing pit in your stomach - borne from the orchestral ticket that went missing at her house after you told her about it, claiming she hadn't seen it.

It's a messy breakup, filled with an even messier follow-up as you return to your dorm, only to find your roommate problem worse than ever before, tears threatening to well as you explain yourself to the rooms officer who allocates you to the only person without a roommate on the other side of campus.

Of course it's the fucking guy your girlfriend had a crush on. You stand like an idiot in the doorway as he eyes you disdainfully (just like she did), the smile freezing in horror on your face as you meet his eyes. His pressed shirt seems to judge you as well, while the wings on either side of his head move backwards, as if in distaste.

"Let's get along?" Some form of those tentative words stretch into the awkward silence, but you already know it's a lost cause. Avoiding him would be the best solution to your problem; putting your head right down and working to maintain your stellar grades in physics.

Except, he seems to be everywhere you are. In the library while you put your headphones on max and bang out waves and optics, knocking on the practice room door when your slot is up and instantly developing a frown when you open it, pouring himself tea while you caramelise onions for your food, getting paired up with you for a stupid philosophy project in a class that you would've dropped if you could.

It's only when you fall asleep on the couch, partial differential equation sheets slipping from your grasp, laptop open on your chest, one tab on a surprisingly well-done powerpoint on analysing Plato's Forms, the other on an email from a supervisor with a link that he accidentally clicks while moving the laptop to the low coffee table next to you. It's an article, with your name emblazoned across the top. Scholarship student wins prestigious physics award - and he thinks, surely it must be a mistake. He shuts the laptop and searches the article up, scrolling through details of pristine grades and a short interview pasted under a photo of you with the award. His brow furrows, as he belatedly realises that, despite the stupid drawings coating your philosophy notebook, you never walked away from an exam with a frown or a downcast expression like many other classmates did.

It's a mistake. It's a mistake that he looked up your name, a mistake that he wakes up at night in a cold sweat to find your bed rumpled and the door ajar, a mistake that despite all reason, he stumbles awake and follows the lingering scent of your detergent down the accommodation stairs, a mistake that he leaves the keys in the dorm as it closes silently behind him, a mistake that he witnesses an argument in the foyer he has no business witnessing. A woman is pleading with a man with his back to the grey-haired Halovian, holding a box filled with clothes and textbooks that he recognises as the same ones you grimly ordered new a few weeks ago when you first moved in, staring blankly at the package when it came.

"What's going on here?" he asks coldly, only for her to immediately go silent as she notices him, face turning an ugly shade of puce, lips opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. The man turns, and he realises it's you, realises that your normally cheerful expression has turned bitterly emotionless.

"Nothing," you say, and that's what your frigid tone also indicates. "She's leaving."

"Mr Sunday! I apologise for the commotion," she starts, syrupy sweet. It's cloying. "But I had to talk to my boyfriend-"

Sunday feels a strange bout of annoyance - a fresh wave following the one that came with waking up at such an ungodly hour.

"Don't call me that anymore," you interrupt. It's the first time he's ever heard your voice sound so resolute, so disgusted. "Don't call me, don't text me, don't waste my breath by arguing-"

For the first time since like ever, his hand finds your shoulder, and he can feel the feverish heat of adrenaline pulsing through you. You startle, surprised, but you only give him a cursory glance back before you turn to her.

"Let's go," he tells you quietly.

"How do you know him?" she asks you suddenly, as though she has any right to. He vaguely remembers her sitting next to him in a divinity lecture, asking about the brands of what he wore, and he begins piecing things together. The emotions radiating from her rankle him.

"Get out before I call security," Sunday replies in your stead, and it seems this is what finally pushes her to the edge - tossing the box with your stuff at your feet while you stare blankly at the floor. It's not until the door slams shut that he finally notices the tears rolling down your cheeks, the hollow look you sport as you crouch to pick up the clothes spilling out past the cardboard. He doesn't know what to say to you. In fact, he doesn't know why he's still here, but despite his better judgement, he crouches down and picks up a worn copy of Sears and Zemansky's University Physics, carefully placing it amongst the pile of shirts that smell just like you. You don't thank him, you don't say anything, and neither does he - two people crouched on the foyer floor at the absolute arse crack of dawn, two idiots-

"Shit," he swears, patting himself down. He never swears, but tonight he can feel everything going wrong. It's then that you look at him, bewildered. "I forgot to bring keys."

Bizarrely, you laugh - half in shock, half in mania, and he gazes at you as though you lost your damn mind. The rooms officer is out, it's pitch black outside, and the two of you are still dressed in pyjamas - you in a particularly heinous ensemble.

"Library," you finally say after composing yourself, and it's not like he's got any other choice but to follow you, but he faintly remembers that it's... well... also closed at this time of night. You take a route to a small door at the back of the building that miraculously, swing open, and he glances at you in surprise: a strange feeling settling in his stomach as you rummage through your belongings to find an old wallet, grabbing two protein bars from the small vending machine and tossing it to him.

There's a question burning on his tongue as he follows you in between the rows of books, sitting down opposite you as you place your head in the crook of your elbow. It's silent, with only the sound of your breathing as he finally asks. "Isn't this against regulations?"

Your voice is muffled when you reply. "I fell asleep in here once after getting locked in, and the librarian's left a side door open since. We'll just leave close to dawn."

When he glances at the digital clock glowing bright green in the darkness, he inwardly curses - 3 AM. The two of you are due to present at 9 AM, and he can't afford to simply get a few meagre hours of sleep from dawn onwards.

He copies you, wearily placing his head on his forearm, but he finds he can't sleep - not with a looming deadline, not when he's rushed out full of adrenaline and annoyance. He glances up when he hears rustling, only to see you with a thick book cracked open, protein bar peeled open and half-eaten. "Can't sleep?"

The question startles him, as if he couldn't be anymore surprised. "I don't think I've ever had my sleep disturbed like this."

You turn the page. "I understand."

"Are you used to this?"

You glance at him, appearing to be contemplating your words. "Yes. I can handle the speaking tomorrow."

"Today," he corrects, but it feels less hostile than it might've had it been a different night. "What are you reading?"

It's... small talk - something that should've occurred when you first moved in, but now represents the most miniscule of thaws.

"Sci-fi." Another page turns.

"To poke fun?"

"Yeah," you look up, surprised - and it's clear that it comes from assuming he didn't know anything about you. "How'd you know?"

"Your assignments," he mumbles sheepishly into his sleeve, as if he hadn't read a whole article about you.

"Ah, yes, the joys of differentials. You know, the mode of transport they're using is labelled superluminal, but that..."

He's never realised it, but in the hazy green light filtering through the cold air, your voice is pretty relaxing - and before he knows it, he's drifted to sleep, your name resting faintly on his lips.

anyways was meant to be a lot shorter but I just went ham tbh, hope you like the expanded plot anon

also anon if you saw the notification and wondered where the post went I do apologise since I posted this when it was still half-finished and had to private it until I completed it </3

#slowd1ving #res ･ﾟ writing #x reader #ask slowd1ving #🦡 anon #philosophy students don't grill me I beg #hsr sunday x reader #sunday x male reader #male reader #x male reader #sunday hsr headcanons #sunday #hsr sunday #honestly it's kind of hilarious how I just evolved from random ramblings to a full on drabble

17 notes · View notes

oddmawd · 5 months ago

Note

Hello!!! I read and ADORED your "The Art of Queen Sacrifice"!! I love the way you write Doflamingo, the way hes possessive but caring and domineering!!! Ugh, I keep re-reading it!!! I've been asking my favorite Doffy authors how they "get in his mind" I guess?? Like how do you write him so correctly and seductively?? Thanks, all the love towards you and your work <3!!!

my dear, my darling, my love, i am so happy you've asked! and also thank you for the love and support, you are AH-MAZING....gonna bust out proper grammar for this badboy btw, hold onto your butts

On the topic of writing seductively:

A lot of people think "foreplay" means physical intimate play prior to penetrative sex, but foreplay starts a lot earlier than that. Foreplay actually starts when you're looking at a person from across the room and feeling a slow, spreading tension begin to burn between you. It starts with teasing. With a heated look. With a whispered promise. With watching someone's hair fall over their neck and becoming preoccupied with the way their pulse beats in their throat. Start thinking of eroticism and seduction long before the characters ever lay hands on each other, and you'll find out seduction happens way before the characters ever hop into bed.

(This got long so I'm putting in a "Read More." Click for more about Doflamingo!)

That's why I personally don't write smut that jumps straight into the action. I'm all about "20,000 words of pining before we hold hands, and now holding hands is enough to make us melt." As a writer, I personally find the payoff more satisfying that way. In The Art of Queen Sacrifice, most of the seducing happens while the characters are completely clothed, standing several feet apart, and are in danger of being discovered at any time. It's not touch that seduces. It's the desire to touch, and the inability to do so, that makes the reader gravitate toward Doffy. Denial is a great way to stoke a fire, I've found, and the mental game of seduction is just as important (if not moreso) than the physical.

In general, seduction in writing is all about sensuality. Some people use "sensuality" as a synonym for "sexual," but "sensuality" just means "gratifying to the senses." Yes, it's often sexual, but try shifting focus strictly from sex. Use descriptive writing of the senses as a seductive tool. What does your character smell, feel, see, hear, touch? How do these things impact the body, the mind, the heart? Unexpectedly sensual things (like catching a hint of your lover's cologne, or seeing sunlight in their hair, or just hearing their voice) can become a springboard for attraction and seduction if played right.

On the topic of writing Doflamingo:

Getting into Doflamingo's brain is, in my mind, all about priorities. Never forget that in the end, Doffy's #1 will always be Doffy. He may hold affection for another, or perhaps even some twisted form of attachment a generous person might call love, but at the end of the day, Doffy's #1 will always be Doffy.

When writing him in a romantic setting, I try to think in transactional terms. He might have affection for someone, but what does HE get out of it? Is their love a means to an end? Does he have a reason beyond affection or lust to keep them around? Exploring those reasons (or lack thereof) is a good way to start exploring his character. I'd love to see a romance where he has no real reason to love someone and still feels like Doffy at heart! The balance seems quite hard.

Each story is unique, and each Doffy romance (whether he's paired with an OC or a canon character) is going to be different depending upon the character traits of his love interest. For instance, I think Doffy would behave differently around someone he perceives as his equal (insofar as anyone CAN be his equal). A fellow Warlord, a noble, a powerful fighter, a regular person...each of these people will have a different dynamic with our favorite Horrible Bird Man. If you're writing one of these archetypes, try thinking about he'd act towards a different archetype, and compare/contrast his behaviors. This might give you a clearer understanding of his behavior towards specific people.

As for writing him "correctly"...I don't know that I write him particularly correctly to be perfectly honest. The Art of Queen Sacrifice is an AU fic, and I think there's a level of...not softness, but at least tenderness toward the reader that I might not use in a strictly canonical depiction of Doflamingo. I think my depiction of him in The Grasp of Gilded Strings is probably more on point, though, and getting inside his head was all about understanding his priorities. The good news is that in fanfic, there's room for different interpretations of a character, and I love seeing how other people handle the Horrible Bird Man in their stories. <3

On the topic of Doflamingo + Seduction

If Doflamingo is seducing a person, he's going to be deliberate about it. I think he'll weaponize sensuality, his station as king/Warlord, and even transactional matters to seduce a person.

If they're attracted to him and he knows it, he'll flaunt his physique and be more touchy. If they're more intellectual, his tactics might become more cerebral to match. If he thinks they'll be receptive to gifts, he'll probably shower them with presents.

But don't assume Doffy automatically knows what these needs are. Take into consideration the wants/needs/tastes of his romantic partner, then ask if Doflamingo knows what these tastes may be. Perhaps he's not aware of them. Perhaps he is. Maybe he makes a mistake and has to course correct. But Doffy is smart, and I think seduction, for him, crosses the border into outright manipulation quite often.

After all, Doffy is Doffy's #1. What he wants, he WILL get. And I don't think he's beyond lying, manipulating, and taking full advantage of his love interest's weaknesses to seduce them to his side.

This is Doffy, after all. And even on the battlefield of love, I don't think he takes prisoners (or maybe that just makes it more fun for the Horrible Bird Man).

OK THAT'S ENOUGH RANTING FROM ME, THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, YOU ARE AMAZING AND I WISH YOU LUCK IN ALL OF YOUR WRITING ENDEAVORS! TYSM ILYYYYYY!!!!!!

#donquixote doflamingo #doflamingo #doffy #doffy one piece #doflamingo x y/n #doflamingo x reader #doflamingo x oc #one piece #one piece fanfic #one piece fanfiction

27 notes · View notes

gothamnewsnetwork-official · 3 months ago

Text

Gotham Recap - Nakano vs Joker, who will be the next Mayor of Gotham City?

When one thinks of the Gotham City Municipal Government (see related articles), or any government for that matter, it’s not typically members of the Rogue’s Gallery (see related articles) or celebrity figures that come to mind, but in recent days the seemingly stable, if not mundane, scene painted by our municipal government has been turned on its head. Why? Not only are multiple celebrities running for Mayor, but the Joker (see related articles) ( @jokerwithcrowbar ) himself.

As we are undoubtedly all aware, Gotham City (see related articles) is holding a snap election in the coming weeks. This comes only a few days after the initial announcement, with the public in an uproar over who should be trusted to lead our beloved city. This comes only a few short months after allegations levied against our current mayor, Christopher Nakano (see related articles) and his elected council ( @gotham-city-municipal-government ), over potential contamination of the Gotham water supply (see related articles).

Currently on the ballot we have the aforementioned Mayor and Rogue, as well as Jason Todd ( @jason-t0dd ) (see related articles), also known as famed Rogue of the people - RedHood (see related articles), Autumn Sweets, also known as Enigma ( @duchess-of-dilemma ) (see related articles), Lady Arkham ( @accidentaldccharacter ), Alfred Pennyworth (see related articles) ( @teatimealfie ), and Kaleb Doran ( @worldshapercalibus ). Of these candidates, four of the six have presented their policies, so our interns have been working overtime to bring you the most thorough, unbiased , and credible picture of the upcoming election possible, and each candidate’s platform will be linked at the end of this article -

Many of the candidates have similar ideas on what to do with the city, running themes of equality, inclusivity, and tolerance, as well as promises across the board to raise the minimum wage (see related articles) in Gotham (though by what amount varies significantly), making healthcare more accessible (again to significant degrees), as well as several promises to clean up Gotham’s streets.

Standout campaign points include -

“ Free food for every broke person every FRIDAY from 9 am to 9 pm ”

- The Joker (read full statement here)

“ School tuition will also be free, funded by me personally. ”

- Jason Todd (read full statement here)

“ Oh and cant forget, [we will] burn down every hot topic in gotham. ”

- Autumn Sweets (read full statement here)

“ I will also double the amount of blimps in Gotham. ”

- Lady Arkham (read full statement here)

“ We, the GCMG, strongly believe in the rights for all consenting adults to be able to duel each other in public, so long as there is a pre-written contract signed between all parties. We believe sometimes actions do speak louder than words, and your actions deserve to be heard! ”

- The Gotham City Municipal Government’s PR department on behalf of Christopher Nakano (read full statement here)

While looking over the statements it’s clear that some candidates are more prepared than others, with some (such as the crown-prince of Crime) having little-to-no plan for his seemingly impossibly ambitious goals, and others not yet having a statement at all. Though, in true Nakano fashion, the GCMG has already put out a statement alongside detailed plans to coincide with each point in their campaign. However this has not stopped surprising amounts of support for the lesser known, and less clean-cut candidates being mustered up by Gothamites across the city.

This journal would also like to note that there have been some legal concerns as well with several of the mayoral candidates, outside of the obvious. For instance, in candidate Jason Todd’s platform he ends the statement with an offer of a free leather jacket (see related articles) for all that vote for him, also known as electoral fraud (see related articles), the offer being a serious offence to animal rights activists, democracy, and the courts.

However this is not the only issue brought forward by concerned Gothamites and netizens; many argue that another candidate, Autumn Sweets, cannot qualify to run for mayor given that they are only 16, a minor. Though it is often we see children performing roles typically reserved for those above the age of 18 in Gotham, specifically in the city’s infamous vigilante scene (see related articles), many have called into question if a minor can truly be fit for the level of responsibility afforded to the city’s mayor.

Many also call into question the fact that Lady Arkham has admitted in her campaign to consorting in an illegal Kryptonian Visa (see related articles) Scheme, though it is unclear if that can disqualify her from the mayoral running.

With that, the upcoming 2025 mayoral election for the greater Gotham municipal district (see related articles) is looking to be one to remember. For those wondering more about the voting process, please visit @gothamcity-mayorelections for more details.

Gotham Reports is certified in fair, unbiased, and reliable reporting

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

#gotham reports #gotham city #gotham elections #gotham election #wayne enterprises #gotham news network #wayne entertainment #gotham news #gotham report #gnn #bruce wayne #batman

19 notes · View notes

wings-of-ink · 1 year ago

Text

Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #interactive fiction #demo update

96 notes · View notes

galway-girlatwork · 6 months ago

Text

Masterlist and AO3

So I am still new to this whole masterlist thing but again I just wanted to put all my works up. So if you feel froggy jump. If the summaries aren't your shot of whisky, then scroll on by.

Joel Miller

Echoes of Hope-

In a remote cabin, Raven finds solace in living off the grid, maintaining the life her late parents envisioned. The isolation is interrupted when she spots a man and a girl approaching her property. Initially hostile, the trio’s encounter, laced with lies, deceit and budding passion, show just how alliances are formed but they are fragile things, that can shatter in an instance.

Fragile State-

The aftermath of a traumatic car accident leaves a family struggling with fear and uncertainty. The emotional toll weighing them all down as they try to find some normalcy which they all know is impossible until he wakes up. Vulnerability and desperate needs for the man who is the center of their lives to remember who they are and the life he had with them.

Concert Charms-

What happens when you go to a rock concert? Confusion, angst at miscommunication, you begin to wonder if it’s worth getting involved with a stranger. But backyard BBQ’s leads to something more and who knows what can happen in twenty years.

Airwaves-

A hardworking single dad raising two daughters spends his evenings unwinding to late-night radio, listening to an upbeat and fiercely independent DJ with an encyclopedic knowledge of music, with a warm, magnetic voice. Joel becomes a loyal listener, calling into her show each night to request songs that resonate with his life—melodies for his girls, echoes of his past, or tunes Maggie herself loves.

What happens when they form a connection through their nightly calls? When their connection blossoms into something more than just what is said and played over the airwaves?

Beyond the Wall-

The QZ, where survival often trumps trust, two smugglers end up on the wrong side of each other. Amid the bleakness of survival, they share moments that let them briefly forget the hell they live in, their space becoming a sanctuary despite the nightmares plaguing them. But there’s hope or is there? When Tommy joins the Fireflies, something stirs in Stacie, a desire for more than just survival. She knows leaving will sever a bond, one that has been in existence for years. It’s the price of surviving, testing the limits of love and trust. How much strength does it take to leave behind everything, including the man you love?

Javi Pena

Broken Silence-A tumultuous relationship with a fellow DEA agent, is marked by tension and unspoken feelings. Can a growing affection, mixed with reckless behavior, drugs, death, money and power, really survive? From Bogota, to Miami, to Rome, how far will it go?

Frankie Morales

Beyond Times Edge-

Fairy rings do not exist. Fairy rings do not exist. Fairy rings do not exist.

Witches are not real. Witches are not real. Witches are not real.

How many times can he repeat this in his head for it to take hold? A thousand? A million?

What happens when a man transcends time and space and falls in love with a witch?

It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus, right?

Deliver Me-

Running. It was what she knew, her ex-hundreds of miles away. A relationship is not what she needed, not what she wanted. Peace is all she craved after years of living in fear, relying on the flight or fight response. Meeting her daughter’s kindergarten teacher, who was the exact opposite of David, her abusive ex, might change that. But what happens when the past rears its ugly head? Will she fight, flee or finally ask for help?

Marcus Moreno-Some Bodies

In the shadows of the ancient city, a dark romance blossoms between a healer and a sinner. It is a connection of light and dark, life and death. Can he accept her past? Can she believe there is redemption for what she’s done? Can carefully guarded secrets stay that way?

Marcus Pike-

Shadow and Flame

The relationship between Agent Marcus Pike and Daciana, is a game of cat and mouse, taking Marcus around the world—London, Tokyo, Rio, and now Paris. Daciana taunts him, leaving clues that lead him to her hideouts just a little too late, fueling his growing obsession.

Their relationship is more than just professional; there’s an undeniable chemistry between them, a tension that neither can ignore. Marcus, frustrated by his inability to catch her, is simultaneously drawn to her presence.

Marcus knows that catching Daciana may come at a cost—one that goes far beyond the law.

Smells Like...

Marcus had always told himself he wasn’t the jealous type until her. He told himself she was gone for good, that she had moved on. But when he sees her at an art exhibit a year later, with another man, something inside him snaps. The jealousy, the longing, the love he never let go of all crashes down on him.

One heated confrontation later and the past proves impossible to ignore. The chemistry is still electric, the connection undeniable. But Marcus isn’t willing to let her slip away this time. As passion ignites and old wounds resurface, he makes one thing clear—he wants her back.

But is Marcus willing to risk his heart one more time to find out?

Javi G.-You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Javi needs encouragement to get the Christmas spirit when he is down and out. Mia, his girlfriend, does what she can.

Din Djarin-Say Something

Eve’s career has always taken a back seat to Din’s. The goal was always she would start working more on her music when he graduated law school and worked for one year at a law firm. Now both of their careers are taking off but where she’s always been there for him, Eve is finding that Din isn’t always there for her. Feeling forgotten, she now lives for her music. And Din forgets that marriage takes just as much work as a career.

Oberyn Martell

Of Death and Butterflies

Everyone’s heard the stories of Lilith. Of how she came to be. But are the stories true? Is she really a demon or something else? She was not born of angels but created by Death himself. To walk between the land of the living and dead. But what happens when The Fates intervene and present her soulmate? Countless lives and re-incarnations have been lived and lost. Will Oberyn remember before another life slips between their fingers like sand?

Wild Hearts

For Mina’s Moodboard Birthday Celebration. I picked Oberyn and got horseback riding so I wrote this lil drabble. It takes place before Oberyn would have told Lilith that he was going to announce their union. Their fourth lifetime. Of Death and Butterflies had so much angst, I wanted to write something sweet for them. Please enjoy the moodboard and the drabble.

Max Phillips-Tinsel and Turkey Vultures

This was written for @beefrobeefcal Half Bricked, Wrong Time February Prompt Challenge. It is a dumpster fire but well I think it is funny. Not your shot of whisky, scroll on by. If you want a giggle, give it a read.

Lucien Flores-Never Have I Ever Killed Someone

What were Hollywood parties except a chance to show off the glitz and glamour? Shallow was the word she liked to use but as a PA to a boss who went through a horrid divorce, she was begged to go. To let everyone know he was okay when she knew the truth.

But now she finds herself drawn into an unexpected encounter with a stranger. He convinces her to join him in a private game of “Never Have I Ever.” And what begins as playful banter escalates into an electrifying, passionate night that neither of them anticipates but both desperately need.

A one-night stand was meant to be just that—one night. But can something so intense truly end there?

Supernatural

Sam Winchester-Do You Know Your ABC's

A witch’s connection with the Winchester’s put her in the hands of Crowley, determined to use her for her powers since his mother is MIA at the moment. We all know what lengths the boys will go to get back someone who’s become an ally to them. Can they save her? Or will she save them?

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the banner and dividers. Love your work. Hugs.

Tagging cause I can. *wink*

@almostfoxglove @guiltyasdave @ninii-winchester @pedgito @ease-out-the-clutch @rivnedell @littlemisspascal @pearlessance @wintrwinchestr @burntheedges @jolapeno @morallyinept @jolapeno @tinyglamdramaqueen @604to647 @kittyfox1107

#joel miller #frankie morales #marcus pike #marcus moreno #javi gutierrez #javier peña #din djarin #sam winchester #pedro pascal #ao3 author #fanfiction writer #masterlist #angst #fluff #smut #oberyn martell

21 notes · View notes

redd956 · 5 months ago

Note

Cool (sorry, I don’t know how to start messages lol). I will say that it’s fairly long and might be a bit complicated and confusing so I apologize in advance; I can clear up anything in a comment if need be. Anyways, with that said:

Regarding worldbuilding creatures or animals (flora and fauna), how do you decide what features/inspirations you use when building specific creatures (from terrestrial to underwater to space to underground to all the Pokémon types (that’s a joke but you hopefully get the idea))?

Or more specifically (or not), how do you mix features that seemingly wouldn’t work together in a way that’s complimentary to the creature at hand? How many features would be considered too many (ex giving a single animal like 20 different feature and basically making them a demigod)? Too little (probably not applicable but idk)? How do you decide what features would go on a specific creature? Is it up to the world builder or would it biologically have to at least make sense (probably the former but still leaving it because why not?)?

Not sure if I’m making sense (it’s quite late and words are losing coherency in my brain), but I ask this because, for some context, I have a creature that I’m creating that, background wise, is a genetically modified living weapon comprised of several different homemade (???) creatures I have in my world. However, the scientists/creators didn’t account for different features fighting/not working as intended (for example, the creatures inherited acidic saliva but not the resistance to it which essentially lead to their mouths dissolving from their own saliva) as well as there being what is essentially several different creatures all mashed into one body fighting for dominance but on a genetic level.

I do apologize if this question doesn’t make sense (kinda looking like nonsense to me as well. Translating thoughts into coherent words is hard), I’m still in the process of making the reference sheet for it and also just in general trying to figure out the thoughts of the concept and again I can clarify in a comment, but how would this affect the creature I’m building? What things should I consider?

I hope this isn’t somehow annoying or strange/weirdly specific question so feel free to ignore/take your time with it. Hope you’re having a good day/night, are taking care of yourself, staying hydrated and all that jazz :]

-idk (also will just say this now before I forget, I am @idkanonymystuff . Just for future reference and also context I guess? Idk)

(Also, on a bit of a random note, I have a video that I think is very helpful/informative/cool about a worldbuilding process. I don’t know if you know it but I could share it, if that’s alright with you. Also I think it’d be epic if you made a yt channel. You have a lot of good worldbuilding knowledge and prompts)

I understand you completely

Creature Features

One thing I try to think about when designing creatures/monsters is the evolutionary reasons for certain features. Most animals have evolved to have features assists with mating, hunting, hiding, defending, or communicating. The more intelligent a creature the more likely they are have features that allow them to use tools.

The environment is another good thing to factor in. Think about how creatures differ depending whether they live in a desert or arctic environment. For instance arctic predator animals have innate hearing to pinpoint creatures underneath the snow based off of sound. Insects in sandy environments learn to burrow and make dens/colonies in the sand.

Sometimes though I add some features simply because I think it would be cool.

Balancing Monster/Creature Abilities

There's many different techniques to keep a creature design balanced. There's some considerations I try to remember, mostly based off of what I'm using the design for outside of base worldbuilding.

Making Sense

For your exact circumstances dear asker, this part doesn't really need to be taken by heart, but for others getting into creature design try to make it make sense.

Abilities, appearance, and/or even size all have evolutionary reasons to exists (unless genetically altered, looking at you killer bees). Whether a creature have camouflage to hunt or hide, or a venomous bite to easily digest prey, or large claws to dig dens; there's more reason then just cool-factor.

Take for instance Cats. They're overpowered. The domestic cat is one of the most prolific predator animals on the planet, and their widespread populations prove it, for cats are very much responsible for dwindling species of all kinds.

They have night vision, but are colorblind. They can leap up to 8 ft (240 cm) high, and typically land on their feet, except for when landing a short distance because they don't have time to calibrate for their fall. Their tails allow for their excellent balance, but provide a target from "bigger fish". They have sharp fangs and tough claws, both modeled in such a way that they can use bacteria to infect enemy cats after fights. That's why cat scratches always puff up.

But the cat isn't perfect. They're at a disadvantage against airborne threats. They are quiet and intelligent, but have little self control. Just like you and me they are vulnerable to genetic disorders, illness, and more. Their thin skin allows for easy lacerations against them, and their small size makes a plethora of large creatures equal competition.

All of these features of a cat are insane stand alone, but we are so familiar with such an animal and the evolutionary reasons for these features that it doesn't occur to us.

Monster Versus Characters

Your creature exists in a world, often times with other people or intelligent creatures in it. The longer it has been around the more others would know about it. In a militaristic sci-fi this looks like squads of teams dedicated to eradicating certain alien threats. In an Elvish setting maybe it's a warning that an ancient scholar details.

Think about how the people around your creature interact with it. Maybe they've played a role in the feature it has developed through selectively breeding, pollution, over-hunting/fishing, or just straight up evolution.

This is also fun to think about character-wise for a monster character, as we get to learn a lot about them through how the world views them (and how they react to such a view).

Story Role

Sometimes powerful creatures and monsters serve a major worldbuilding-storytelling purpose, like an assumed god or local legend. They serve a role in maintaining an ecosystem maybe, from a powerful predator to a dragon meant to cull humans and keep them in-check.

The roles a creature can play can be just as interesting. Their power doesn't have to continue come from their ability, but their intelligence or connections too.

Weaknesses & Flaws

Weaknesses and flaws can equally make a creature design interesting. They allow lots of room for balance, and are important to characters in general. There's many different places to pull from for potential ideas for weaknesses. Some could originate from the environment that the creature is used to, such as a fluffy arctic animal would have a hard time under the blaring sun of the desert.

Other weaknesses could come with advantages of different features, such as a blind animal with innate hearing.

Some can be simple and severe, such as a giant gem on the back for a strike point of weakness. There can also be weaknesses to certain elements, magic, minerals, or even weapon types.

Gameplay Interests

When designing a monster or creature with the specific intent for players to go up against it in either a video game or ttrpg, it's important to make the monster "defeatable" in some sort of way. This doesn't mean that the monster needs to be in killable health, but perhaps has mechanics that allow it to be blindsighted or bartered with.

Take for interests the various monsters in Lethal Company. Not all of them are solved simply with death by shovel. There is many other ways to avoid some, and get the job done.

Blending in w/the established world

To make my creatures or monsters blend in I pull from the world around them, using already established rules or grounds.

Examples

Apex predator/large member of an environment's food chain

Matches the establish tech/magic system

There's general knowledge or worldbuild mystery surrounding the creature

Making it interact with existing forces, like a certain mineral, symbiotic species, specific plant

Maybe if it's poisonous it uses an already established poison

Design alone plays a major role. It wouldn't make a lot of sense in most contexts for a super alien-looking outerspace style creature to inhabit a dry forest, without explanation (invasive alien species perhaps) or similar forces at play (sci-fi space theme).

Take advantage of the freedom of worldbuilding

You don't have to be sold on a design immediately. Allow yourself to experiment, dabble with designs, ridiculous concepts. Really in worldbuilding there is no exact rules.

Many major series have lots of initially wacky worldbuilding ideas and they pull them off amazingly, like Minecraft or Dungeons & Dragons.

Just make sure you're still having fun, and not turning each design into a laborious process.

#worldbuilding #worldbuilding tips and tricks #worldbuilding advice #world building #creature design #species design #monster design

17 notes · View notes

exo-raskreia · 1 year ago

Note

hi as a jjk fan, do you have any issues with the writing from gege? if so, what do you think are wasted potential in terms of characters, bonds. i think that there is lack of emotional impact or expansion fo characters sometimes. for instance animes like mha have alot of meaningful character arcs and backstories. It's a bit hard to express how I feel becuase jjk is an amazing story but i am just a bit disappointed of the wasted potential with female characters and like shoko and utahime. and the world building. yes i am fellow gojohime shipper ;).

(Oncoming long RANT 😅)

If you ride on Gege's coattails, this may not be for you.

I actually do have issues with Gege's writing, so I agree with you. JJK has an interesting premise with hidden lore & I would recommend it to anyone wanting to get into, or already into, anime/manga, but it could be so much better if Gege just cared enough (which I sometimes feel like he doesn't? It just feels like he wants to hurry up & finish it so he can start on his idol manga... 💀). He skips so much, it honestly feels like he's going off a checklist, especially in the latest arc.

Compared to other battle shounens, namely Naruto, Fairy Tail, MHA, & even Gintama, JJK is severely lacking in several areas. It's unfortunate because the premise & characters are full of potential.

I will go over some of the issues. A lot of these were obvious from the start but they've only gotten worse over time.

• The fast pacing (speed running at this point). It's battle after battle, no downtime, big arc right after big arc, etc. Us readers & the characters themselves barely have time to process things before he moves on to the next thing. He skips so many things, so much happens off-screen/off-panel (can't forget how he skipped Yaga's fight with Gakuganji that lead to his death, skipped Gojo's entire month after his unsealing then "kills" him off-panel a few chapters later, I could go on...)

• The lack of character emotions, development, backstories, etc. We barely know anything about the characters, like their hobbies & interests? (This is why I have a hard time making up headcanons & potentially writing a fic for our ship... How can I keep them in character when I barely know stuff about them? 😮‍💨). We barely see any of them training (training arcs/chapters are typical for battle shounens); the Tokyo students preparing for the Goodwill Event would have been a fitting time to showcase this, for example. There's little to no mourning shown for character deaths (like Yaga? Nanami? Mai? Mechamaru?).

Yuta has such a cool CT & we didn't get to see how he discovered it & all. Like, come on 😔. Also, it would've been nice to see the Goodwill Event from his first year when he beat the Kyoto students, especially Todo... (Gege simply tells us about it. Like he tends to do for a lot of things 🙄).

Gege could've done more build-up to Gojo's sealing in Shibuya by showing his upbringing & development from his arrogant teen self (tho already having shown hints of caring for others & not liking the higher-ups) to the sensei who loves his students & strives for a better Jujutsu society. His past arc should've been longer imo. Needed more slice of life & character interactions, bonding. Heck, Toji should've gotten his whole backstory there too before he died. More build-up to Gojo's "death" too, as Gege skipped that whole month after his unsealing 😒...

• While on the subject, the lack of character interactions, bonding. We haven't seen most characters interact with each other despite being in the same circles, vicinity. Tokyo & Kyoto students, GjHm with them, Gojo & his colleagues (esp more Uta), the Zenin clan (like, wish we could've seen how GjHm interacted with Naoya. Imagine the drama 😫), Gojo & his elusive clan, I could go on... Would've loved to see Gojo interact with Kashimo, Higuruma, Choso... 😮‍💨

As such, several have died & we never saw them interact with certain others nor even know much about them 😑... The emotional impact of character deaths & bonding would be higher if only Gege cared enough to flesh out his characters more... (At least the Phantom Parade mobile game is giving us some much-needed slice of life content. Wish Mappa would give us some OVA's like that too...)

• Lack of world building. Once again, so much we don't know, such as the clans, especially Gojo's. Apparently, they're still alive, yet we haven't seen them?

Are they not fighters, then? Nothing from them on their clan head's sealing/unsealing/"death". The Zenin Clan debuted & got killed off soon after. Other clans irrelevant. Jujutsu sorcery primarily exists in Japan so other than Miguel, goodbye to the potential of any foreign sorcerers making their appearance...

• Female cast. It's crazy how they were once praised for their potential but now... Now, all they've got is just your typical battle shounen treatment 😒. While Gege has shown he cares little for all his characters (lol), it does seem like the female characters have suffered a bit more from his writing. They've either died (like Mai off-screen? Yuki, the only female Special Grade, had one fight & died?), become powerless (Miwa, thru an off-screen Binding Vow revealed many chapters later? Seriously?), lack screentime (the Kyoto girls? Shoko, the only one who can use RCT on others & closest friend to Gojo?!), or simply haven't done a whole lot, especially compared to the male characters. For some or most, it's a mixture of all these 💀 (like Tsumiki).

Nobara is the main girl & yet her role ended about halfway thru the series. Can't believe Gege did that to her, despite her potential & competence to be the FL of a battle shounen (poor Yuuji still thinks of her. And we don't even know what Gojo thought about her demise? 😮‍💨). Maki seems to have it better, yet some could argue she's just Toji 2.0/female Toji. Unfortunately, I thought about Toji when she was fighting Sukuna; I was like, "If Sukuna's this impressed by her, imagine Toji with his higher experience?" I doubt that's what Gege would want us to think when Maki's shining (or does he? 🤨😒).

• Don't even get me started on Utahime. She's the main teacher of Kyoto, loved by all her students according to Gege, yet we don't get to see it? She's barely relevant? Imagine what she felt as her students kept on dying or becoming unable to fight. Thru her character, such as during her investigation of Kyoto for the traitor, we could've gotten some great insight into how things are over there? We don't even know what the Kyoto school looks like 💀.

Her scar has several implications & yet we don't know how she got it? How has she dealt with being a scarred woman in Jujutsu society, especially considering Momo's words about such a thing during the Goodwill Event? Utahime could be a great role model to the girls, especially Maki now, & yet... 😮‍💨 (I'm telling you, she should've been the main adult female of the series, just like Gojo's the main adult male)

She's one of Gojo's friends, has known him for 10+ years, & is one of his few most trusted allies, yet we haven't seen how they got to this point? Their comedic interactions make us wonder how they built that deep trust. I NEED to know what happened between them during the timeskip!!! 😫

Her CT buffs herself & others. Why has she not been a part of any on-screen fight prior to the Shinjuku Showdown? There were a couple instances where we almost saw her in action & yet... Why did Gege gatekeep her CT for so long? To showcase her CT for the first time for Gojo & Gojo ONLY. He's insane. They can't beat the package deal allegations. So, does this have any meaning? Can we hope for more-

• I sometimes wonder if JJK would be better as a seinen like I once heard he intended for it to be... There are definitely elements of that... How much darker could the story get, since sometimes Gege pushes the boundaries of Shounen Jump (I know he wants to, lol)... How much more fleshed out could it be if he was writing it the way he wanted to originally (supposedly he never intended for a school setting but was forced by his previous editor?)... Maybe we could even get a Tokyo Ghoul:re style chapter with GjHm during the timeskip if y'all know what I mean-

So, to sum up: JJK is interesting & I would recommend it, but there's a whole lot of wasted character potential, terrible pacing, & lack of interactions, development, & world building. There's so much we don't know & Gege wants to end it already? He's sitting on a gold mine & yet... 😑😒

No idea how things will end but I can at least hope for an open ending that leaves us with some hopeful possibilities... Uh, right?

Also... GOJO WILL RISE ✊️

#what do i tag this?#ask #jjk #gojohime #iori utahime #reiapost

62 notes · View notes