#literally all of these (except maybe travelling just for safety reasons)

[sendothetaurus]

Scaramouche deserved better

This is kind of a hot take on chapter III of the archon quest.

I love theorizing and picking things apart, so please don't come for me bhfwlahwlxnfl.

It might be useful to have some knowledge about what has happened so far. (This post is very long, also SPOILERS)

Remember, this is an opinion, not a fact or an offence against anybody. This has nothing to do with the cn drama. This is just me nitpicking at the story lol

The erasure of Scaramouche’s past was unnecessary.

In hindsight, it is a repetitive plot line, already established with the “death” of Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. She ceased because she eliminated the forbidden knowledge and therefore stopped the withering in Irminsul. In context, her disappearance made sense. With Scaramouche, however, it doesn’t: All the carefully thought through occurrences, all the relationships and connections between characters are annihilated in the process of changing Scaramouche’s past. Did it matter that Ei left her almost literal son alone? No, because she doesn’t remember. Did it matter that Niwa and Mikoshi Nagamasa accepted and perhaps loved the Kabukimono? No, because they are long dead and they have forgotten that he even existed. Did it matter that he found out the truth about Dottore’s murder? No, because Niwa died in the furnace instead, or so everyone believes. Why let everyone forget he killed hundreds of swordsmiths only to retell the truth? It would have made more sense if it wasn’t even erased in the first place. The only thing remaining for the Wanderer is the agony that nobody remembers except for a chosen few and himself. If anything, he only brought suffering upon himself. In the end, a very huge part of character development is lost this way.

By erasing himself, Scaramouche didn’t achieve anything.

If he hadn’t forgotten himself, there would be no rescue arc for him. He hadn’t changed his mind about the Traveler at that point in the story. In Act III, Inversion of Genesis, The Night-Bird Falls at the Curtain's Call, Scaramouche specifically states:

“...Or maybe killing me is all you can think about? But if that's the case, why haven't you done it already? [...] Sometimes it's you using them, other times it's them using you. Most human relationships are this way... certainly all the stable ones are. That's how it was between me and the Fatui, and also between each of the Harbingers. So as long as you have some value to offer, nobody will ever abandon you. But after recent events, even I have to admit that I'm not worth quite what I used to be…”

What I take from this are three things: Scaramouche acknowledges the Traveler as a threat. He uses Nahida’s deal as a backup for his own safety because providing utility to others is what he defines as a stable relationship. He also accepts his position as inferior - for the time being. This is the start of the turning point.

The Wanderer later says in Act III, Inversion of Genesis, As Though Morning Dew:

“Even if I'm completely worthless, there's nothing in the world worth regretting. [...] Utility to others is what gives me worth. So if embracing my sins is what it takes to make me useful again, so be it. [...] Sorry if I have a slightly different perspective on things. [...] Well, whatever your reasons, you did me a favor, and I'll do everything I can to pay it back. [...] Borrowing and returning are the only real relationships between individuals. I'll balance the books one day, don't you worry.”

He didn’t change his view of relationships, as much is clear. This logically drives him to “repay the favor” the Traveler did for him. Fueled by his unchanging way of understanding a true and kind-hearted relationship, it sounds like the Wanderer just atones for his sins because someone (in this case Nahida; she concludes: “In all honesty, your past experiences have made you a useful asset to Sumeru and to me. Winning you over was indeed a part of my plan.”) wants him to. This again makes him a puppet to his circumstance, instead of empowering him to make the right choice on his own. His whole life, it was the circumstance that created the scornful being he became in the end (this is a reference to the three betrayals and his relationship with the Fatui). His will to be “of use” actually hindered him in finding a path that is not influenced by others. Him realizing this would be a satisfying and meaningful way to change the tides of the storyline and would carry an important message.

The existence of the Wanderer doesn’t make sense.

It is unclear how much control Scaramouche had over the creation of the Wanderer and if he was involved in the changes that were made around Teyvat. Irminsul has its limits on what it can and cannot change. Then again, I feel like the fact that he forgot himself was merely a catalyst for the current events, speeding up the pace for him to switch sides. Did the Wanderer just wake up the morning Paimon forgot about Scaramouche? How did he exit Irminsul if he forgot everything? Where do his clothes come from? Why was he in the wilderness when he woke up? We don’t know what life the Wanderer believed to have lived before regaining his memories, which is a major plot hole that could be filled in the future. But arguably the most jarring thing about the Wanderer is his personality.

What purpose does the character serve story-wise? For sure, it’s displaying a contrast between the two entities, the yin to the yang one could say. Maybe it’s meant as a “what could have been” or as an example for gratitude and affability, traits which Scaramouche never possessed. How can it be that someone so cruel and relentless carries something so pure at heart inside of him? If it hadn’t been for all the betrayals maybe this is what we would have gotten instead. It shows how the world changed Scaramouche when he felt powerless in the face of hardship. Which is why he defined his worth as the acknowledgement and utility to others - because he couldn’t find it within himself. Because he felt inferior to everything and everyone from his birth to his procession of achieving Godhood. And in the end, he lost everything but his body.

This consequently motivates the Wanderer to seek the truth about his past. Through him we get insight on both Scaramouche’s and Wanderer’s thoughts:

“I don't think I can judge everything I've heard purely in terms of right and wrong. Each choice a person makes belongs to a specific place and time, a chain of cause and effect... a cycle of karma and consequence. [...] I'm just a puppet, with no heart and no name. There is nothing in this world for me to cling to, to fill the void within me... except maybe these sins that can never be undone. [...] I've always believed that human lives follow a set of rules, with each person being a collection of past experiences. As a puppet living in the human world, my life is subject to the same rules. [...]  I've lived with a void in my chest my whole life. My creator didn't need me, and ever since I awoke, I've just drifted from one place to the next. [...] I've always felt I have an innate tendency to yearn for something more, in a way that goes deeper than for most people... But for all my soul-searching as a shugenja, I've never fully understood it. Looking at it now, it seems that I brought this curse upon myself.”

This is the first and only time the Wanderer admits this to himself; that he was searching for something that ultimately led him to his demise. After regaining his memories, he reverts to his old self, as explained above. Even if it is a very clever way to make the character consistent throughout the story, I wished we would have seen some character development, especially of Scaramouche since he’s the one filling The Wanderers consciousness.

I thought about how it would be to remember two lifetimes in one body: Even if someone told you what you did in another life, would that change who you are now? Then what if you had memories of that other life inside you, would that erase the you that is currently existing? This is why I don’t agree with Nahida’s statement:

“If you accept that he is you, just as you are you, then yes - you are evil.”

It feeds into the fact that The Wanderer’s personality later resembles the one of Scaramouche. The Wanderer accepts that he is “evil” and has to “face the music”. Again, he takes responsibility for Scaramouche’s past because his will to be of utility to others presses him to do it. Clearly, in this moment he had the chance to turn his back on his past and instead live on as the more kind and benevolent version of himself. I would have liked to spend more time with the soft Wanderer, the one that was born with a pure “heart”, the one who learned to love instead of hate. It would have left a bitter-sweet feeling because he would be content like this, never truly understanding why he inflicted these cruel things on others.

Let's look at this from yet another perspective: What if Scaramouche wanted to forget about the deaths, the betrayals at the cost of losing the memory of his friends too? Wouldn’t that have been a far greater punishment? To know that you willingly wipe out every single last teardrop and every single spark of joy? On the other hand, I understand why other people would despise this ending because Scaramouche would never really have to feel any lasting consequence for what he did. He would just be “neutralized”.

The alternation of Irminsul’s records has differing effects.

The Doctor still did the experiments, so the results must be in his possession. Despite not knowing who he experimented with, The Doctor would still have knowledge of how to create a God. This can be concluded because Paimon accidentally broke a vase when she was worried about Scaramouche. After “changing” the past, the vase is still broken. This indicates that the general memory of everyone changed, however the world remained the same. All objects are still the way they were before the change occurred. This is an interesting concept of changing the past, but it doesn’t add up with what happens in the plot. After Scaramouche’s meddling with Irminsul’s records, the Traveler meets Aqaba and Sawada, whose research was altered in favor of erasing Scaramouche. However, this shouldn’t be possible according to what we learn at the end of the story when the mysterious voice talks to the Traveler.

“History does not change easily, but human hearts can. Believe your own eyes. Only that which you see is true. What is unseen is but an illusion.”

Irminsul can change what people believe, meaning knowledge and wisdom, not real objects, occurrences and consequences  - is what I suspect. Regardless, the voice also says:

“Unfortunately, the fate of Teyvat cannot easily be changed. Perhaps a god may have a slim chance, but for anyone else... who can say. When a small animal runs into a tree trunk, though the tree may sway, it is not displaced. The same is true of fate. Like a vase that falls to the ground. Whether it is broken by a cat or by a bird, the result is still a broken vase, is it not?”

The statement is true to what happened when Scaramouche tried to rescue his friends so that they would survive Il Dottore’s attack. They died either way, despite the Kabukimono “not being there”.

The Doctor’s power remains unclear.

He himself admits while negotiating with Nahida:

“A long time ago, I made a major decision in hopes of preserving all my perspectives of how I observed the world. Observation is the first step of any experiment, but observing the current world doesn't satisfy me. It lacks an important dimension — that of time. So I saved "segments" of all my ages, and made them into independent individuals… [...] What you request of me is like plucking out the eyes I have placed in the dimension of time. [...] Besides, with my abilities, it's only a matter of time until I find better "perspectives." Perhaps it's best to say... you're just temporarily ahead.”

The Travel Log specifies:

“As Nahida closes her eyes, many voices enter her consciousness: Some are young, some are old, some are angry, and some are helpless... All of them are the voices of The Doctor's segments, each derived from him at a different age.”

From what I understand, the Doctor has created segments, that each are positioned in a specific point in time to keep an eye on certain events, and with whom he can communicate. Since the Doctor is able to see through time, it would be possible for him to relive the past without the interference of Irminsul, as it merely changes the memories of the people. For the Doctor it would be possible to recount the truth because he would see it with his own eyes. This is what makes his segments all the more dangerous to the fate of Teyvat. However, the Doctor clarifies that he can find other ways to watch time, and the annihilation of his segments just set him back temporarily. With that said, he’s one of a few people who are unaffected by alternation of Irminsul, just like the Descenders. The question is if he can control these segments to even change how some occurrences took place - which would give him the power to literally change the past. With this in mind, there is a possibility that Scaramouche could be able to save his friends. It would give him a reason to pursue the Doctor and to work together with the Traveler. It would be an interesting concept for them to acquire the Doctor’s power to go back in time and to see the real consequence. But for the Doctor to be able to “alter” fate, he must become a God himself. At least, this is what the mysterious voice tells the Traveler. Another possibility is for the Wanderer and the Traveler to encounter the God of Time or an equally powerful entity. However, this is just speculation.

***

If you've read all this, thank you so much for your time ♥

[xaharadesert]

Kidnapped MC Turned Bandit Leader - Headcanon Pt 3

Asra Alnazar x Reader

A/N: last part! I’m so fucking tired. Thank you to everyone who gave me vague and unspecified attention on my last post, it’s good motivation :) Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: every headcanon set for Asra ends in angst, and this is no exception

💙Asra💙

Now I’m not saying that Asra is the only person who would never stop looking for you if he knew you were kidnapped

But I am saying he would have the highest chance of actually finding you

And he knows this

Which is why it doesn’t even take him a day to pack up everything and start tracking you across the globe

Unfortunately, he’s only human, and needs to rest, so as long as your kidnappers are on the move, he’s still a step behind

But his spells and connection to you help him stay determined, even when he feels he’s not making any progress

Eventually he would fall behind, maybe by a week or two, during a more intense part of the voyage— maybe sailing across the sea, or commandeering some horses was what put your kidnappers ahead of him

Either way, there comes a time when he realizes that you’ve stayed in one place much longer than before

This is his chance to catch up, and he does his best, but he knows that it will still take time, and he can’t be reckless

A part of him is terrified that there’s a much more sinister reason for you to stay in one place so long, but he tries to keep those thoughts out of his head

He’s exhausted, physically and mentally, and now that the end of this ordeal is in sight, his body is ready to shut down and grant him the longest nap of his life

But he pushes himself just long enough to finally find you again

The relief he feels when he sees that you’re unharmed— and now apparently in charge of a group of bandits— is enough to quite literally knock him out

After the world’s longest nap, he wakes up and feels an equally strong rush of joy when he realizes that it wasn’t just a good dream

You seem genuinely happy, and he listens with equal feelings of confusion and happiness on your behalf as you tell him your side of the story

He tries to suppress any negative judgements he may feel toward your new friends; a friend of yours is a friend of his, but he still has a lot of worry than he now has nothing to do with

Asra asks if this is really what you want to do— travelling around with bandits is a dangerous life, and if you ever change your mind, it’ll be hard to settle down again

If you decide that this life isn’t for you, and that you’d really rather return home, he’s quick to whisk you away back to Vesuvia and its associated safety

He doesn’t at all blame you for the temporary life of crime; you were under stress, and honestly, as long as you weren’t harming the lower classes it’s none of his business

Needless to say, he’s not a fan of the bourgeoisie and encourages theft from the society’s most fortunate

He also makes sure to establish some sort of way to communicate with your bandit friends, in case you’d still like to keep up with them

It may not have been the best circumstances, but some of them seemed genuinely kind, and Asra’s grateful that they took care of you when he couldn’t

But if you truly want to stay with your new friends in the first place, then he’s right there with you

He’s always up for adventure, even if he’d rather take the more scenic routes

To be honest, he doesn’t really participate in a lot of the actual crimes, since he would much rather spend time with his own hobbies

(He’s a magician, after all; you can’t expect him to just abandon his magic practices in the name of a life on the run)

But he’s always waiting for you with open arms after your excursions

And if you ever decide to turn away from crime once more, he’s got a list ready of all the places you won’t be recognized

(If he’s being totally honest, he would rather the two of you have a steady home to return to. He can sleep much better knowing that you’re both safe and won’t purposefully be running into danger every other day)

Overall, Asra does his best to adapt to whatever life you decide to live. He has his own thoughts on living a more dangerous lifestyle, but he keeps them to himself

He feels like he owes you. This isn’t the first time he’s failed you, and he doesn’t think he’s done enough to earn your forgiveness for his earlier mistakes; the road to self redemption just seems to grow longer every time he messes up, and he’ll eternally be trying desperately to fix it

[highlordofkrypton]

the lighthouse // an aquafam au - chapter 8 update

Read on AO3.

Summary: Atlanna runs away from Atlantis with baby Orm and raises him on the surface with Tom Curry and Arthur.

Chapter 8 - different

Her eyes never leave the waterline, not even as she’s gently coaxed to rejoin the others. Martha Wayne is a kind woman, but Atlanna can sense the sternness and the ambition beneath her skin. It calls to her, louder than the kinship of motherhood; it’s the only reason she trusts the surface dweller.

The voices of the men are a soft hum, like the waves, to her ears. It’s the children’s laughter that she listens to, the way Orm’s laughter bubbles up in his chest as Martha’s boy gasps in open disdain. That’s sand, don’t put sand in your mouth! The more offended he sounds, the more defiant Orm becomes. Arthur, the easygoing child that he is, only laughs. Laughter is the sound of safety. Good.

“Lana!” One of the strangers calls to her, and Atlanna’s expression shutters. She does not respond, looking to her husband first and foremost. He nods, and only then does she engage.

“You require something from me?”

Orvax has stolen her last bits of trust. She has nothing to offer, except the bare minimum.

The man does not seem deterred. His partner offers her a glass of something colourful with a small umbrella. The odds of her being poisoned is low, but she does not take it either. Instead, Tom accepts the glass on her behalf.

“Come join us, I was just about to pick your husband’s brain.”

Atlanna takes the expression literally as she sits beside Tom. Before she can rebuke his threat with one of her own, Tom presses a warm, comforting hand against her knee—a subtle sign that she does not need to fight . They’re alright. There is no danger here, yet. Her gaze shifts to the water, tuning the conversation out for a brief moment. She senses nothing; she hasn’t sensed anything coming from the depths in weeks. Maybe they are safe.

“This may sound forward of me, but your children… They’re different, aren’t they?”

She has yet to release the harpoon, and the look in her eyes is as sharp at its tip. Who is he to comment on her children? They should be nothing to him. The thought that he has been watching them.. Oh, he must underestimate the lengths she would go to to protect them.

“How long?” She demands.

The man seems confused. “How long what?”

“How long have you been watching us? Did Orvax send you?” Atlanna stands, gripping her weapon.

The servant moves, too. Ah, he must be this surface dweller’s guard. She will have to tear through him first. No problem. Violence is the cost of her children’s safety, and it is a price she is all too willing to pay. Arthur knows to take Orm back to the lighthouse. Tom is a decent runner, even with the sand working against his foothold.

Martha quickly stands, putting herself between her people and Atlanna.

“Move. I have no interest in harming you.” But she will. She absolutely will. Atlanna has little to lose.

“Wait, wait,” she holds a hand out to Lana. “My husband doesn’t mean it that way. There are others. We’ve noticed in our travels that there are others like you and your sons. People are who are different, and that’s not a bad thing. We don’t think,” she glances at Thomas.

Tom has been speaking to the Waynes long enough to get a sense of them. “Let’s hear them out, hon.”

Atlanna remains standing. There’s a long moment where no one says anything. “Speak,” she orders, still a Queen in her own right.

“We don’t think it’s a bad thing. Everyone deserves a place, somewhere safe.” It’s a trend Thomas has noticed. Those who are different are often running from something, and he doesn’t blame them. The world is a shit place. “Especially the children. It can be lonely being different. I’ve been thinking. We could give them a place where they can be themselves and find a community in others like them.”

Thomas, Martha, Bruce and Alfred are human, yes, but their level of wealth sets them apart. It makes them just as susceptible to loneliness as the rest of them. A philanthropist at heart, Thomas wishes he could say that this is for all these other children, but it’s for Bruce, too. If everyone is Other, wouldn’t that even the playing field? He glances at his son playing with the Curry boys. This could work. It really could work. To think, it was just a wild idea he’s been playing with ever since meeting the Kents.

“ I can keep my children safe. They have a place. It is here. If you threaten our peace, I will leave you in pieces .” Atlanna kindly informs them.

“You may try,” says the man who has kept quiet this whole time, the one who offered her the glass of possible poison.

“That’s not,” Thomas sighs. “ Alfred ,” he reprimands under his breath. He gets his bearings to join his wife in de-escalating the situation. “I’m talking about a school. A place where they can learn about themselves, each other and how to navigate this world that isn’t built for them. They shouldn’t have to hide. Not always. They’d come home to you. We’re not trying to take your children away from you.”

His platitudes are not enough, and Martha sees that.

“Nothing can compare what you can do for your children, we just want to help. We have the resources and we would include you, and the other parents every step of the way to ensure everyone’s needs are met. It’s just an idea.”

“No.”

Atlanna hears nothing. She wants nothing to do with these strangers. All she wants is her boys and to be left alone.

[finderseeker]

Back from dinner and trying to work out whether she goes fight or flight. Usually Asteri is a “fight” person when she perceives actual danger (but “fawn” otherwise), except there’s two key differences here. Well, three technically. 1) This is a unique sense of danger in that it’s tied to having watched her parents be killed in front of her as a child. 2) This is someone she originally didn’t trust (because human), but allowed herself to. And 3) there’s the weird added twist of “this is literally me from another universe.”

Sooo… it’s a matter of, “Which wins out: betrayal (flee) or fear (fight)?” Would she be so scared that she would be willing to fight someone she’s close to (who is also literally herself)? Or would she feel so betrayed that her relationship with human Asteri prevents her from even thinking of harming her, even in what she perceives as self-defense? (Note: this ended up getting long so I’m putting it under this.)

I think maybe the confusion of the perceived betrayal would lend itself more toward flight. Unfortunately that doesn’t exactly facilitate quick clarification from poor human Asteri, who is very confused. I mean, she’s probably heard the story by that point, but I don’t know if it would necessarily click with her that a Nerf gun evokes the same trauma as an actual gun since it’s about intention of the user rather than the intention of the item. (Reason the player can do damage with a toy knife or empty gun.) Well, that, and Asteri has no reason to be familiar with toy guns.

Poor girl sees her alternate self holding a gun and has a vivid, visceral flashback to the worst day of her life and suddenly she’s just a little kid again, except this time instead of freezing, she bolts. Melts out of form and into the water and flees as fast as she can, like her father urged her to with his last words that day. She had stayed frozen back then, in horror, until her father fell to dust beside the pile that once made up her mother, and the human turned their gaze to her. Only then had she dove back under the water and fled. Something she felt guilty for for decades, and still struggled with. (“I should have fought, I just floated there and watched” refuted by “You were a child, and you would have died with them, and that isn’t what they would have wanted.”) This time she flees instantly, and she doesn’t feel any better about it.

After so many years of hating humans, decades of being so resolute that she would kill if she ever met one— only to meet Windy and all of that to happen— now here she is faced with her greatest fear, the one she had always said she would be prepared to face should it ever happen, (and made worse by the fact that it’s an alternate her)… and she doesn’t even fight. Doesn’t even try. Because in the end her feelings still got in the way. In the end she cared too much. Cared too much about the other person, and cared too much about her own safety to take down a threat to everyone else. (In her mind, that is.)

Of course there is no actual betrayal or threat, this is all just through her perception. She’d berate herself for trusting, she’d probably hesitate even to go home to Windy, reasoning that if her own alternate self could turn on her as soon as she had the power, what would prevent her husband from doing the same? I think she’d call Dings, once she got away. Er, actually, now that I think about it she would have melted out of her clothes, which by extension means her bag too. So, no phone. Maybe she borrows someone’s, then, since if she thought there was actual danger, traveling to Hotland would take too long.

Meanwhile, human Asteri is. really confused, then worried, then mortified, all in quick succession. She would drop the nerf gun and try to chase after, trying to explain and apologize, but in Waterfall, obviously there’s no way she could ever keep up with (or even track) a shapeshifter who grew up in the water. So she’d text/call Windy to tell him what happened. He’d give an explanation. Then it would turn into a three-person (or four, if they get Alphys) hunt for normal Asteri. With human Asteri feeling super bad. (Way worse than she really needs to, but this is an Asteri we’re talking about. Ms. “Had a Breakdown in Canon Because My Not-Boyfriend Cancelled Our Not-Date Last Minute.”)

Anyway, Dings hearing from normal Asteri and Windy hearing from human Asteri (the two Gasters work together) around the same time probably facilitates clarification much faster than if they’d actually had to track a panicking normal Asteri down themselves. A shapeshifter. Who can camouflage like a cuttlefish. And breathe underwater. Somewhere in the twists and turns and myriads of caves in Waterfall. Where she grew up and is intimately familiar with.

The combined explanation from another monster (Dings), and her (human) husband (Windy) (who is human Asteri’s best friend) helps normal Asteri calm down and they locate her. Human Asteri definitely babbles apologies over the phone after grabbing it from Windy. (“Oh my god I’m SO SORRY! I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn’t realize you wouldn’t know about nerf guns but that makes sense AGH I’M SO STUPID!! God, Asteri, I’m so sorry. I’d never ever try to hurt you in a million years! You’re literally me! And I’m you! I’d never— God, I’m sorry, I should’ve known—”)

Gang finds half-formed normal Asteri in a little alcove somewhere, sniffing. Honestly human Asteri probably shoves Windy out of the way to get to her first and apologize face-to-face. (Or, face-to-blob?) It would get smoothed over pretty quickly, once normal Asteri was more calmed down. It would take a bit to get her there (trauma suckkkks), but I don’t think she’d be angry at anyone but herself. Angry that she didn’t trust that there was a good reason, she just jumped to the worst possible conclusion; angry that, although she’s glad she didn’t end up hurting her alternate self, she fled from the “danger” rather than try to fight so no one else ended up hurt; angry that in her most panicked state, she didn’t even trust that her own husband wouldn’t turn on her, despite everything they’ve been through (and everything she put him through in the beginning, that he never retaliated for). While it wouldn’t be a grudge thing, and there’d be no hard feelings on any side, it would definitely send normal Asteri into a spiral on her own. She really just needs therapy.

Because, like, of course she panicked. It was so similar to the most traumatic moment of her entire life. Flashbacks aren’t something you can control, they aren’t a personal failure or an indication of morality. All these sensory triggers: Human and gun and above me and the feeling of water lapping against me and this was supposed to be somewhere I’m safe and the sound of water flowing past me and the smell of residual magic. Of course she panicked. It was a trigger, not a lack of trust or faith. She was reliving horrific childhood trauma, it makes sense she would revert to former patterns of thought. (“Don’t trust any humans.”) And the fight or flight response is a powerful, instinctual thing; it’s not fair to blame herself for not fighting the perceived threat when the entire situation sent her back to being a terrified little girl for those moments.

I don’t think she’d open up about all this right away, and not all of those things to all of them. She would especially struggle to reconcile the shame and frustration of not attacking human Asteri when she’s glad she didn’t hurt her friend. She’d struggle to separate the meaning of it from the actual actions and lack thereof.

But whether or not she ever managed to address that, I think she’d end up talking with Dings, at some point, about triggers and flashbacks, considering he’s certainly had more than his fair share of those, what with the war. I think he’d share some anecdote about realizing what a trigger any kind of facial injury is for him. (Ex: shortly after the war, someone accidentally whacked him in the eye socket when gesturing and he had a “disproportionately fearful reaction” that freaked everyone else in the room out because they didn’t know what was wrong.) And he’d talk about how he had to make room in his life for his own trauma, rather than keep trying to kick it under a rug because his severe reactions were “inappropriate” for various situations.

Instead of beating himself up for it, he had to learn to accept that even after many, many years (and probably some therapy), some things were simply going to remain part of his psyche. And rather than ignore them or hide them or apologize for their existence, he got better at identifying and avoiding what set him off, when possible, and communicating to the people he’s around often which things that can’t always be avoided might trigger him. Like accidental gesturing mishaps, or bright lights on his right side. Flashbacks still happen occasionally, and yes, they do make him very wary of the people around him, sometimes. But that’s because he’s reliving a time where that was what was necessary, where danger was everywhere, or where he was very vulnerable and didn’t have anyone to trust. Those reactions are a result of the trauma inflicted, not of a failure to trust your present loved ones.

I think that would help normal Asteri, to hear that from someone who’s dealt with similar things. She and Dings aren’t together in the DDAU, of course, but they are still friends, and I think there are some things they have in common that their human counterparts simply can’t relate to. Witnessing violence at that level, being forced to realize how powerless you are in the face of beings so many orders of magnitude stronger than you are, living with a kind of mortal fear that never completely goes away. Human Asteri lost her parents too, but not like that. Windy has his own reasons to be triggered by craniofacial trauma/injury, but he never got his head exploded, or killed anyone, or watched everyone around him turn into dust. It’s probably cathartic to both normal Asteri and Dings to talk about this, since their respective spouses can never fully understand. And I think normal Asteri would feel a lot better after that. Not 100%, but somewhat. And Dings probably gives Windy some tips and insight on the whole matter, too, to help her out at home.

This accidentally turned into a whole thing and it’s midnight now so I’m gonna stop now. I’m also just gonna say that I’m not even remotely close to an expert on any form of PTSD. I did not mean to get into an entire thing about it. Obviously I’m going to need to do some reading, but for the time being, this is written in my own lack of experience and also somewhat from the POV of characters who may or may not have ever gotten formal therapy.

P.S. I think human Asteri “makes” normal Asteri a card (after they’re definitely cool with each other again) that’s just a regular pre-made card with the actual text blatantly crossed out and written over, so it says, “Sorry I accidentally gave you a traumatic flashback :(” And then it has some stupid, entirely unrelated message on the inside, and like 100G. Normal Asteri thinks it’s hilarious. There’s a purple dinosaur on the front that is blatantly the only reason human Asteri picked this card. She drew antennae on it. Normal Asteri sends her a card back that’s done in the exact same fashion except the rewritten text says, “Sorry for accusing you of murderous intent :(” (and the frown has fangs), and on the inside there is also an unrelated, prewritten message, and the same 100G. There’s a random cartoon human on the front of the card. She colored the hair in green and used whiteout on the one arm. Human Asteri also finds this really funny.

I was thinking about how Asteri would be the type of partner who leaves a trail of rose petals from the door to a fancy note… that’s beside a Nerf gun, and the note says that she’s hiding somewhere so be prepared for a Nerf battle. (Based on a tumblr post I saw a long time ago.)

Except then I remembered Asteri’s backstory and realized she wouldn’t go anywhere near a gun-shaped object. Actually she would flip the hell out. But human Asteri probably doesn’t have an issue with Nerf guns.

So naturally, rather than thinking about a fun scenario in the college dorms with the human gang, instead my brain immediately went, “What if human Asteri found a Nerf gun in the dump when hanging out with normal Asteri in the DDAU and tried to joke around with it and unintentionally sent normal Asteri into a panic attack?” A ‘saw the “gun” and every other piece of context disappeared except for “person I allowed myself to trust” + “is a human” + “holding a gun like she knows how to use it”’ type of panic.

Anyway I’m going out to dinner, but it’s an interesting scenario I wanted to write down so I remember to play the rest of it out later

[phoenixyfriend]

Uncle Ben and Little Luke

AKA we combine several types of time travel for maximum Soft Chaos, let’s go

EDIT NOW THAT I’VE WRITTEN THIS UP: jfc this ended up much angstier than initially intended uhhhhhhhhhh sorry

So a common enough thing I’ve seen in time travel fics is characters getting de-aged when tossed back physically, to neither the age they should be in that time, nor the age they were from the time they left, but whatever is most convenient. This is usually de-aging OT Obi-Wan into his TCW self, for reasons relating to, chiefly, removing the damage of Tatooine absolutely destroying his body alongside PTSD-driven alcoholism, but also because fic writers are horny, and Ewan McGregor playing a late-thirties negotiator is on average more appealing to people than Alec Guinness playing a vaguely feral desert hermit.

So, here’s how it plays out:

We take Luke and Ben from some point in the OT. There are a variety of options depending on how angsty we want it to be. My first instinct is ‘right after Owen and Beru die’ but I want to have that sweet angst where Luke knows that his dad is Vader and that Obi-Wan was trying to convince him to kill his own father without telling him that.

We’ll go with shortly after Bespin, and then they end up significantly before TPM. The Obi-Wan of the timeline proper is, eh, let’s say eighteen. Not really ready to be a knight, but old enough that we don’t have to worry about “if we go save Shmi, do we somehow wipe out Anakin?” which is absolutely a worry. Anakin is a toddler, and is in no place to be evil, on account of being literally two years old. He can’t even explode people with his brain yet.

Now, Ben finds himself mid-thirties, as is traditional. He’s not upset at this, because his joints hurt so much less than they used to! His knees aren’t exactly teenage-perfect, but by the Force are they better than they were in the years before he died! His hair has color! He doesn’t have arthritis! And, goodness, no physical withdrawal symptoms! The psychological aspect is still there, but nonetheless, he’s in much better shape than he last remembers being.

Luke looks like he’s about six. He was recently twenty-two. This is not an upgrade. Ben keeps having to carry him. He can’t see over the counter when they enter a bar for information. He can’t enter the bar in the first place. He’s very annoyed by all of this.

Ben is not annoyed. Ben is having a lot of emotions, actually, but annoyance isn’t one of them. He didn’t get to help raise Luke the way he might have if Anakin hadn’t lost his shit, okay, he sees a small Luke and he wants to hug him and cry.

Luke would like to be able to purchase a speeder part without the lady at the stall asking him if he needs his “dad’s” permission.

Once they figure out when and where they are, they need to decide where and how to leave. There are general shenanigans to gamble their way into enough money to hire a ship. They are in the ass end of nowhere, but definitely not Tatooine. There appears to be a jungle. There appears to be a significant variety of man-eating creatures. There appears to be a temple to the Force of questionable origin. None of this is actually helpful, except for the moment they find a “baby’s first lightsaber” in the temple.

Luke only has one hand and, being a six-year-old, his body is growing too fast for him to bother with getting a wired-in prosthesis the way he could as an adult. He can get a more basic prosthesis, but nothing that attaches to the neurons. He’ll outgrow it too fast.

He’s tiny and he’s not used to doing things with just one hand. He uses the Force to do what one hand can't, and every time someone tries to tell him he's misusing the Force he whaps them with the empty sleeve.

So, you know, they find out what year it is. Ben has a breakdown. Luke is upset that he left behind his friends. Ben admits to him that Leia was his twin. Luke stares in horror because dude, she kissed him, you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier???

Ben points out that Beru and Owen were keeping Luke away from him for nineteen years, and then they had about three days of awkward travel to find Leia in the first place, and then Ben died. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to figure out how to tell him.

(This sparks an argument that lasts several days. All onlookers assume that Ben’s son is throwing a tantrum. He doesn’t correct them, even though this is a very valid reason to be upset, because the truth is much harder to explain.)

Sooooo they travel. Mostly, Ben plays Sabacc, cleans house, and pays their way towards Coruscant. Luke still really wants to learn to be a Proper Jedi, even though Ben is pretty sure that Luke would have... a lot of difference of opinion with the Temple, but sure. Coruscant. They can at least stop by, and see Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Quinlan, and Bant, and everyone else that’s still alive and not tragically deceased in the horror following the start of the Clone Wars and then the birth of the Empire, and Ben can have a nice sob over all his dead friends being alive again.

Ben is only barely holding it together while Luke is in the room with him at any given point. But it’s fine! It’s fine. He’s fine. All of his loved ones have come back to life! It’s great! HE’S FINE.

He is not fine.

Luke is also grieving all the people who haven’t been born yet, but he’s... significantly more okay than Ben is.

The closer they get to the Core, the more often people just assume Ben is Luke’s father, and then look shocked and uncomfortable when Luke flatly calls him by his name, and they just... compromise. This is the point at which Luke starts calling him “Uncle Ben.”

Ben cries in his bunk later that night. Luke overhears it and wonders how the HELL Ben is more unstable now, when there’s a chance to fix things and no Vader or Empire trying to kill or capture both of them, and all his friends are alive.

(Luke will later learn a lot about PTSD and realize this is actually a fairly normal situation, to process significant events and emotions only after gaining safety or catharsis.)

(Twenty years on a ball of sand with an alcohol addiction and debilitating fear of the man you raised as your own brother is not, in fact, safe or cathartic.)

At any rate, they’ve settled into that pattern by the time they reach the Inner Rim. The Inner Rim is the part of the galaxy at which they’ve collected enough money (and mental stability) to travel a little better, and to take a few more risks.

Risks like “manipulate people with those baby blues.”

Ben tells Luke that he’s a menace, after he pouts so cutely that he gets a free scarf added on to a purchase that Ben makes. Luke responds that Ben has no room to talk, since he flirted a free breakfast out of that one inn owner.

Also, Luke is currently physically six. That is objectively a situation that sucks. He deserves to use it for all it’s worth if he’s stuck like this.

“You know, if you keep wearing all-black and looking longingly at the velvet cape and Space Chanel boots, the temple is going to worry that you’re a darksider.”

“Uncle Ben... you told me, yesterday, that I sparkle so brightly in the Force that it’s almost blinding.”

“Yes, but the gloves--”

They don’t agree on this, but Ben relents. He does actually understand good fashion, unfortunately, and he’s not unaware of how much Leia taught Luke about such things.

Luke’s about forty years ahead of the curve, of course, but Skywalkers are prone to such things. It’s usually in regards to technology, granted, but...

They get to Coruscant. Ben is very obviously a Jedi. He knows all the right words and walks like a Soresu master and feels warm and comforting in the Force. They let him in with minimal questions. They note down “my first padawan left the order to have a child, but died shortly after; I consider Luke here to be my nephew, and have raised him as such,” and move on.

Luke is vaguely annoyed because he already had an uncle (and aunt) that raised him, but he admits that a person can have more than one uncle. He can live with this. Ben was more family to Anakin than Owen was, in some ways, so it’s kind of true. Luke is even working on feeling more childish affection for Ben instead of the complicated mess of emotions that come from being lied to about some very large and important subjects, and then seeing the person saying those lies have regular emotional breakdowns due to something as small as Luke saying he likes the curve of the hull on that freighter.

(Apparently he sounds just like his father did as a child. This is almost heartwarming.)

The thing is! The thing. The thing is, they almost make it to the Halls of Healing to get looked over for weird viruses, or Outer Rim Parasites, or whatever the hells needs to be happening. They almost make it without Ben having a flashback to dead younglings or brainwashed troopers or the declaration of a Sith Empire. They almost make it without incident.

Then Ben sees Qui-Gon, and freezes, and does not move again.

Luke cannot get him to restart.

People are staring.

They haven’t even made it to Medical, Uncle Ben, come on.

Young, local Obi-Wan comes over and asks if there’s something he can do to help. Or maybe this “Ben” knows Qui-Gon? Master Jinn doesn’t recognize Ben, but maybe Luke knows more?

Luke does know more, but what Luke actually says is “he probably needs a mind healer.”

(Ben will not appreciate this.)

(Ben is unfortunately standing in the middle of the hallway and completely unresponsive, and is unable to argue with this assertion.)

(Ben is pretty much proving this assertion entirely correct, actually.)

Obi-Wan is helpful, if a little bitchy in the manner of most late-teens individuals, and offers to help get Uncle Ben down to the Halls of Healing. It involves Obi-Wan gently pushing on Ben’s shoulders, and Qui-Gon offering to carry Luke so he can be in Ben’s sights (because Ben is a Mystery, and Qui-Gon is quite fond of those, so he wants to stay involved). Ben kind of just... shuffles on down.

There are medical tests. They ask about how Luke lost his hand. He refuses to talk about it. They ask how Ben got all his scars. Luke says he doesn’t know. They ask if he knows why Ben looks like he’s been through a war. Luke says it’s because he probably was.

They check for foreign viruses. They find evidence of thus-far-unpatented vaccinations. They ask Luke if he knows what he’s vaccinated for.

“How would I know? I’m six.”

They agree that this is a good excuse.

(It is not. He’s lying. They do not know this.)

They do some more tests. They find a lot of questionable medical bullshit in Ben’s body. Most of this is from the clone wars, but they don’t know this. Someone realizes they haven’t gotten a ping back from the Shadow Network regarding “do we have permission to pull the medical file of a Jedi that isn’t in the normal database? We’re assuming you know who he is, since we don’t.”

The Shadow Network does not know who Ben is.

The healers, of course, go “huh, that’s weird, but maybe the name he gave his nephew was fake. We can’t exactly ask ‘Ben’ for more details right now. We already had to sedate him. Let’s check the DNA!”

The DNA pulls up as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The padawan who brought this guy in two hours ago.

“Huh, that’s weird. Let’s call in Kenobi and ask if he knows what’s going on.”

Obi-Wan absolutely does not know what’s going on.

They ask Luke.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, lying through his teeth and not even pretending otherwise.

“You’re not a very good liar,” teenage Obi-Wan tells him.

“I’m not trying to be,” Luke says. “Can you get Master Yoda? I feel like we’re going to need him.”

They normally wouldn’t get Yoda on the request of a six-year-old, but they also normally don’t have a catatonic thirty-something Jedi who looks like he’s been through a war popping up in the medical database as the pimply teenage padawan that broke his pinky trying to do a Badass Ataru Flip last week.

Or... whatever Luke i... is... oh dear.

“Young one,” Qui-Gon asks, while people whisper-shout behind him, not realizing he’s cutting the Correlian Knot and just asking the kid himself. “Do you know why your midichlorian count is so high? It’s almost unheard of.”

“Uncle Ben said my dad was the Chosen One,” Luke says, because he is capable of being a little shit and is actually really eager to let Ben deal with some of the fallout. He feels for the man, really, but he’s also tired of being the one to field every single question.

Also, the expressions that pass on Qui-Gon’s face are hilarious.

(Luke may or may not be more affected by his six-year-old brain than he would like to admit.)

“Thank you,” Qui-Gon says, sounding more than a little strangled about it.

It takes another three hours for Ben to wake up.

He listens to the questions. He hears what they say his ‘nephew’ said. He looks at Luke.

“Is this revenge for not telling you about Leia?”

“It’s not revenge,” Luke does not lie. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s pretty easy to explain.”

“It’s not my secret.”

“This is revenge for the Leia thing.”

“No,” Luke says. “Revenge for the Leia thing was when I ate a live frog in front of you.”

This is the point at which someone interrupts and points out that they appear to be stalling.

“Oh, he is,” Luke tells them. He gestures at Ben. “I can’t tell you more, because it’s more his story than mine.”

“I’m afraid, Master, that I am very likely to have an emotional breakdown if I allow myself to consider the reality of this situation for longer than the fraction of a second I already have,” Ben reports, full of false cheer. “Suffice to say, I am far from stable and have only held out this far for Luke’s sake.”

“Can you explain why you have my DNA?” Obi-Wan asks, as the person who’s most concerningly involved in this situation.

“You can,” Ben says, smiling like there is absolutely nothing wrong in the slightest, ever. “I’m you, from the future. I actually died and spent a few years dead before coming back. I’m not sure why I’m younger than I was when I died, but I appreciate being able to put on my shoes without my knees attempting to mutiny.”

“He needs a mind healer,” Luke reiterates, in case the strained grin hasn’t made it clear. “So do I, but not as much.”

“I have felt literally every person in this Temple save for Luke and Yoda die,” Ben reports, looking a shade more manic than a few seconds earlier. “It’s very overwhelming to feel you all being alive again. I may be approaching a mental breakdown, and I’ve been rather strictly advised against using alcohol to treat my traumas again.”

Luke kicks him in the thigh. It’s not a very hard kick, because he is very small, and he does actually like Ben. “I’m not letting you turn into an old drunk again.”

After several seconds of silence, a healer quietly suggests that everyone clear the room, and asks if someone could fetch Master Yoda as the youngling requested.

(THIS IS ALMOST THREE THOUSAND WORDS. I started it less than two hours ago. Why am I like this.)

[redorich]

Oh, Iove the reverse!Hermit Au! (That's what I've been calling it in my head anyways, don't mind me) I love the concept of them reclaiming L'hole and just slowly turning it into something beautiful. I wonder, in this Au are the hermits stuck on the dream smp (yes, please, that would be so cool!! Them trying to find a way back to their own world could be a whole story in and off itself) or do they just randomly pop into the world because they can? And if it's multiple hermits (If it's all the hermits) then how long until the crater can't hold them anymore, until they spill out like a more benevolent version of the blood vines? How long until they follow their namesake instinct and split off? Just, the idea of Dream smp members travelling really far out to find a mansion or something the like and suddenly they come across these monumental builts that are now just there. Imagine the eariness of that, of finding something like 'just' Grians Mansion or Scars Village (not to speak of something the size of Cubs Pyramid or Keralis City!!) and having it be completely empty. (Except of course for the singular shadow in the corner of one eye. But that was gone so quickly, was that even real?)

Imagine the hermits doing their hermit thing, were they built huge farms and cart giant amounts of resources to and fro, and have impressive shops but now it's all underground, hidden somewhere! (And also they've replaced shulker boxes with mules, because I love mules, and the idea of mule highways is hilarious). Imagine someone stumbling in on that! No, like, please, imagine that. And... And possibly write your imagination down perhaps? Maybe? If you would like? That would be extremly pog.

(Bonus points if someone drops into like, a nuzzling day with multiple hermits shopping and haggling over prices)

-Fidget

The Hermits are, for the moment, stuck in this unfamiliar server due to an event called The Split, wherein the Hermits attempted to jump to a new world, but ended up stranded in the Dream SMP when everything went wrong. Why things went wrong, they don’t know yet. Their admin, Xisuma, was critically weakened by his efforts during The Split; he managed to keep everyone alive, so he doesn’t regret it, even if that means that he’s bedridden and magically weak.

The Hermits are unused to living together in such a small area: they are called Hermits for a reason, after all. From the very start, they spread out, digging into the walls just to get some space. The Hermit compound is massive. They’ve already started to spill out of the canyon, venturing above ground and hiding in the shadows as they collect resources. If they had the resources, they’d have all split up ages ago, but this server is dangerous and Xisuma is in a precarious state, so they put up with the crowding for the moment, until each and every one of them is equipped.

Even after the Hermits have acquired gear and supplies, it’s not enough. They still need to survey the land, create secretive Nether pathways, figure out what’s wrong with the End and how they can fix/exploit it, divvy up the resources, and choose who’s going to live with whom. After all, the Hermits have seen firsthand Dream’s death at their own traps. The people native to the Dream SMP are violent by nature. None of the Hermits are going to live alone in this world.

They have started construction outside of the canyon, though, so that when they’re ready to make their move they won’t be caught unawares. All of their builds are thousands of blocks away from civilization, and the only way to find them is through a single Nether portal which can be found in the second mark of the Upside Down. Grian, False, and Tango have set about recreating the Upside Down because while building it is a lot more difficult without elytra, having a base in the Nether will prove beneficial in the long run in a way that it wasn’t in Hermitcraft.

As far as the Hermits are aware, no one has come across their half-built, Brobdingnagian structures. They’re hollow and shadowy and that’s just the way the Hermits like it.

In the meantime, they’ll settle for their well-loved canyon and the anthill-like tunnels and chambers carved into its walls. The biggest chamber by far is a massive cavern which Scar has made to look like roots are holding all the dirt above their heads. (Meanwhile, Wels runs about placing torches while Scar builds, because Xisuma can’t overtax himself respawning Scar fifty times in a row just because the man’s builds always turn into unintentional mob farms.) This chamber becomes the shopping district, and it has an architectural vibe of a speakeasy or a black market-- a literal underground market. 

All their individual small bases are connected through tunnels-- and yes, instead of shulker boxes they have Bdubs breed them mules and turn the tunnels into a mule highway.

As a rule, they all carry splash potions of invisibility in their hotbars. Most of the Hermits don’t enjoy being perceived as scary, dangerous entities, but the mystery and fear surrounding their reputation keeps them safe. It’s entirely possible that someone’s strip mine will intersect their underground society, and they want people to be inclined to forget what they’ve seen and decide to mine in another direction, for their own safety.

[rivalsforlife]

Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways. 

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with. 

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”. 

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint. 

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?” 

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim. 

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument. 

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket. 

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor? 

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that. 

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay. 

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship. 

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine. 

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

...

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

[questioned-quetzalcoatl]

Call me Satan, darling. Part 6

Rating: T

Parings: New Zealand/Tonga (Hetalia)

Characters: New Zealand, Tonga, Philippines, Finland, Denmark, others mentioned

Variation: Demon/Human AU

Summary: When Kainga, an exchange student from Tonga, travels to New Zealand for his studies, he expects all to go well. It does. All except getting hit by a car by Satan himself, who also happens to be his seductive roommate. Kainga finds himself slowly falling for the devil after his declaration of love. Because nothing truly says ‘I love you’ more than being run off the road by a rusty old Ute. Also available on AO3 and WATTPAD!

Contents: [Chapter 1]

[Chapter 2]

[Chapter 3]

[Chapter 4]

[Chapter 5]

[Chapter 6]

[Chapter 7]

[Chapter 8]

[Chapter 9]

[[Slight NSFW warning for this chapter at the end! It's fairly quick and adds literally nothing so feel free to skip.]]

AN: Hello friends! We're more than half-way through this fic! (Give or take a few chapters I'm sure sure how much I want to write ;v;) This is my biggest fic yet so thank you to all you wonderful readers enjoying my work. I plan to have another fic and make this a series but I'll see how much willpower and time I have to do that. But I have some ideas I'd really like to expand on and maybe a bit of lore for this au!!! I'll leave it open, my sleep schedule is practically non-existent anyways. qwq

This is where the story starts to get on track a little. Apologies if it's been a little slow running up until now. Thank you for having patience with me!! uvu;

Some extra characters in this chapter! Here are their names incase anyone gets confused!

Densen - Denmark Piri - Philippines Tino - Finland And of course James - New Zealand Kainga - Tonga

---

Months had passed and it had been an unnerving amount of time since Kainga had last seen the King of Hell. He was out of his crutches; now walking freely with a thin cast around his right foot and lower leg just for safety reasons, however it felt more like a thick sock than anything.

These months had been very peaceful, spending most of his time at the University library. The cross sat heavily on his chest like a holy restraining order as he wandered through rows of book shelves, Kainga lightly running his fingers across the covered spines. Volumes crammed the shelves, all sizes and colors. The oldest ones sat on the highest shelf, out of reach of the younger student’s sticky hands. Scripted gold lettering, faint as breath, could still be seen along the spines. One can drown in the ocean of tranquility; the whole aura of space is as peaceful as nature. Long stretching room full of piles of information captured in the pages is truly mesmerizing. Kainga loved to read, a great library like this was his paradise. Trailing his fingertips along to try and find the book he was looking for, amazingly keeping his balance while holding another heavy stack of books in his other hand as well as his laptop. Reading glasses placed comfortably on the bridge of his nose, scanning for the book he needed.

He didn't know how long he was looking in the maze of the Literature section but he was far from the main corridors where the light hit the books at the front. It was as if the back rows laid untouched like a still creature, encouraging those brave enough to find the knowledge it held in the dim light of its lair. Nothing can ever replace the authenticity and reliability one gets from a library, Kainga enjoyed nothing more.

A thought lingered in the back of his mind however as he took another book from the shelf, a lot like a broken track record. With every turn around a bend he half expected James's stupid face and badly worn suit to appear. To start constantly bothering him and calling him stupid pet names as if they were just your average couple. Kainga noticed that James hadn't made an appearance since he started wearing the cross around his neck. He wasn't sure if that was the case, but the thing unbelievably heavy. Or perhaps that was just the guilt he had which was weighing him down. The fact he even felt guilty was enough to make himself angry. Why on earth did he feel guilty? He murmured to himself under the hiss of a breath as he caught sight of a book by James Johonnot. It seemed that wretched devil was everywhere now, tormenting him subtly to his breaking point.

"God why does it have to be him? I swear everywhere I look it's just James! Bloody James. James. Jame-"

There's a loud bang like a gunshot next to where he was stood. A loud slur of profanity swallowed up by the dreaded and familiar red tinted smoke and the solid sound of a body dropping to the floor, followed by a loud groan of pain.

Kainga didn't exactly scream but he's not exactly quiet either. It's more of a distressed strain of a yelp as he dropped the pile of books and his laptop out of fright. Papers flying in various directions. Typical. The library floor goes even more quiet for a second with other students wondering what on earth made that noise. Kainga is quick to quiet himself by holding his palm against his mouth to stop the burning embarrassment of the grueling stares through the book shelves, ones he could not see but knew were there. There's silence before a soft ray of whispers under their breaths that turns back to average study chatter. Kainga let out a breathless heave and looked down at James who had now sat up and was rubbing his head.

"James?! Where the hell did you come from?!" He snapped angrily at him, going to pick up his books. James shot him a just as confused look and handed him a book.

"What do you mean by that?! You're the one who summoned me! Maybe a simple 'Hello' or I don't know even a 'How are you today James?' would be nice after you just dragged me from where I was comfortably sat!" He snapped back at him, standing up and brushing some kind of crumbs off of his suit. Kainga stared up at him, taking the book from his devilish grip.

"Summon you? I didn't summon you! At least I didn't mean to!"

James sighed.

"Do you not know how to summon a demon?! Have you seen any of the movies?! You say the name three times!" he expressed in disbelief.

"Yeah I have! It's Hollywood bullshit, I didn't know it actually worked! Besides it's not like I wanted you to come here anyways you're like a bull in a china store!"

"So you've been avoiding me?"

"Well...yes? But no...I...It's complicated...wait I never said that?"

"Well that indicates it..." James pointed rather accusingly at the crucifix draped over his shoulders. That just made Kainga feel worse, due to his tone he was clearly upset about it. He swallowed thickly as the cross got heavier. James continued on. "I just wanted to come and see you, you've been really hard to find. After all you chose to hide yourself in the biggest and most comprehensive University in the country."

"I haven't been hiding from you James. I've just been trying to focus on the reason I'm actually here. This is my only chance of a good education!" he stacked the pile of books back into his arm. There was one left, a large leather cover laying face down on the carpet. James looked at it and bent down to pick it up for him.

"Well we can arrange times! I know you're probably mad at me for the other date but I was hoping we coul- OW SHIT!!!"

James was instantly cut off as soon as his fingers came into contact with the book, picking it up before dropping it like a hot ember. A loud sizzling noise like he was physically burnt by it. Kainga looked at him in shock, smelling the awful odor of burnt flesh. James stood hunched, cradling his burnt fingers.

"J-James?! What happened are you alrigh-" he cut himself off and stared down at the book. James had managed to flip it back over when he dropped it. The gold text on the front read out what Kainga had feared the most.

The Holy Bible.

Both Kainga and James stared down at it. Kainga bit his lip. Shit. Shit. SHIT! He forgot he had picked that up. It was really a bad look for him. He stood with his heart pounding as he scrambled to pick it up. Half of the back cover had been burnt off and some of the back pages were hanging on by the thread of the inner spine. What was a few seconds seemed like forever as they both stood in a deep silence. Kainga finally mustered up courage to explain himself, he could clearly tell James was beyond angry at him.

"James..."

"Y'know what. I'll just go."

"What?! No it's not like that! I promise! James I'm studying Literatur-."

"Kainga. I said I'm going. You clearly don't fucking want me here so what's the bloody point? First the cross now this?!" he pointed accusingly at him, snarling almost. Kainga flinched, smacking his pointing hand away.

"For godsakes just let me explain myself! You're so fucking selfish you know! If you wanna go then leave, fuck off! I don't care!"

James's face contorted into a more saddened expression. Oh god here comes that fucking guilt again.

"You don't...?"

Kainga went quiet for a while. Nervously shuffling around with his blood running colder every second he was in his presence. Second guessing himself as he always seemed to do when James had something to do with it. James's raging flame of anger had seemed to be extinguished when the Tongan didn't answer him. Kainga could practically hear the sizzle, see the smoke arise, see the darkness flee from his eyes. He frowned.

"I do. James. But you can't keep going on like this."

"Like what?"

"Appearing out of nowhere at the worst times. Maybe I don't want to stop seeing you but maybe there's times I need for myself."

"Are you mad at me about the date?"

"The date has nothing to do with this. I actually had a rather decent time. I realized I forgot to thank you...so...thank you, James."

James chuffed and shrugged a little, placing his hands in either pocket. He couldn't help but grin moronically, blushing like he was rather proud of himself.

"It's...really no problem. I also had a good time..." James hesitated, glancing surreptitiously down at Kainga, a sly sheepishness coating over his face. "Would you like to go on another one maybeee...?"

His answer was clear no matter how hard you looked, he was basically as readable as the books he held. The devils hopeful grin coaxed with the fact it was a tender moment between the two. Not one that involved any kind of Ute or stink of fish but one Kainga found himself not wanting to ring the New Zealander's neck for once.

"Maybe I will, James. But not now, I have exams. Give me a week or two. We can arrange something then."

James smiled brightly at him, like his face illuminated with delightfulness despite how idiotic he may have looked. Kainga could've kissed him, frankly a part of him wanted to. Half out of curiosity but his hands were full. So he bid James goodbye and took off to the main study hall in the library. He looked back just once and James was gone. Like he had retreated into the subdued shadows of the back rows of shelves like a ghost.

---

Back studying at his desk had become the norm for Kainga. Despite most of the students walking around, it was surprisingly quiet. A very peaceful aroma where Kainga had surrounded himself with his small group of friends he'd met on campus. One in particular he'd become very close friends with was a Filipino student, Piri. Sure he liked the other people in their small group but Piri was the one he trusted the most. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to spill his whole Satan situation to him, having to make up a excuse for his random disappearance. After a small while of studying, Piri spoke up, taking off his headphones and resting them beside him.

"These exams are really making me tired Kai...I've got yet another one to sit through tomorrow."

Kainga looked over at him.

"Really? Didn't you just sit one?"

"Yeah, last week. No rest for us Physiology students, it's hard to keep on top of everything." Piri bit his lip, looking back down at his work. "Oh. That's what I wanted to ask you. Densen is busy with his exams right now, could I borrow your library card? I left mine back at the flat." He asked, starting to pack his laptop back into his bag as well as his other supplies. Kainga smiled.

"Of course. I hardly ever use it anyways." he fumbled around with his lanyard for a bit, unhooking it and handing the Filipino the library card. "How is Densen by the way? It's been a while since I've seen him."

Piri took the card and thanked him. "Densen? Oh yeah he's been very busy. Hey I'll see if he's free this afternoon, Tino as well. We can go down to the University café down near campus. That is if you're not busy..."

Kainga pondered the idea for a bit. Maybe a moment with just his friends would take his mind off a few things. Specifically off James. Especially off James. He looked around the library, as if someone was watching him make this decision. James wasn't still watching him was he?

Piri looked at him oddly.

"Kai? Is everything alright?"

Kainga snapped back to him like he was awoken from a daydream.

"Oh! Right sorry...yeah I'll be there! What time should I be there?"

Piri thought for a while.

"Meet us down there at two. I'll ask everyone now in advance."

Kainga stood up to follow Piri to the printer to help him with his printing and to get his card back when he was finished. He had some assignments to print off too. He doesn't notice he's left his things in the library, he also doesn't notice James watching his spot from afar.

James wasn't peculiarly fond of his friends. Not like he'd met them personally, but he didn't like the fact they were around HIS queen. He didn't like Piri being around Kainga, or the fact Densen made the Tongan blush on occasion. Which made his possessive blood boil whenever he saw it. That was HIS job, not some mortals. He snarled a little even at the very thought of it. James slumped over to his work space, half hidden under his desk. He started to rummage through his work. What on earth was more important than him? Some papers? He scoffed at a few hand-written essays.

James was flicking through his files. Hardly anything of interest to him.

It was all going well.

That's when he smelt the burning.

He sniffed, catching the scent of the small fire that has started at the spade of his tail. Like flint to steel his tail must've caught on the wooden surface of one of the desk legs, causing it to catch alight. Shit. Shit. Shit!

James sprang up from the desk, grabbing Kainga's stuff in a messy pile in his arms. The smoke started to rise and the smell got more pungent. James began to panic, holding up the Tongan's things as he desperately attempted to put out the growing flames, only succeeding in making it spread across the carpet. He'd garnered the attention of other students. A panic spread faster than the fire.

First a scream. Then more screams.

Then the fire alarm. The loud ringing that echoed across the building, deafening anyone who'd come to enjoy their peace in the library.

Then rain.

Most of the students had evacuated the building by now. Only James remained. Still holding Kainga's stuff. Face to face with a drenched and murderous Kainga, standing in front of him as he scowled at the Devil twice his size. James felt himself shrink a little. The fire alarm continued to blare across the campus grounds, the fire itself had been put out.

James very sheepishly looks away from him as Kainga's stare bares into his skin like a laser of disappointment and anger, almost in disbelief. His stare was the personification of nails on a chalkboard, or a fork being scrapped onto a plate. He's rather surprised he can even feel how angry he was, considering half of Kainga's face was covered by his dark curly and now very wet hair. He pushed some back out of his eyes, making a wet squelching noise as he wiped the rest of the water off his face.

"I uhh...got your stuff...Managed to save your laptop and most of the books. Erm... Some of yer papers set on fire but I got what I could." James murmured quietly handing him the pile of his things wrapped in his black coat. "It should be somewhat dry too."

The rain and alarm finally stopped as they were both left extremely damp. Kainga's whole body dripping with it.

"You set the library on fire." Kainga hissed angrily.

"Almost. Set it on fire." he corrected him. "And I DID save your stuff."

Kainga grumbled, snatching his things off of James. His glare didn't lessen as he shoved the things in his bag, handing him back his coat.

"Thanks."

James whimpered a little, knowing too well he was very much in the wrong. Kainga could kiss him, despite how angry he was at him, he did save his stuff. The fact James's hurt expression showed the Devil knew he was wrong, it almost made him seem human. Kainga started to give more human qualities to him, he did look the part at least. Perhaps it was an accident, maybe he'd never know. But in that moment to grabbed James's tie and wrapped it around his wrist. Yanking James down towards him, this accompanied with the fact Kainga still had to stand on his tippy toes to even get anywhere near his stupid face, that was caught completely off guard.

What Kainga intended to be a peck ended up going south as their lips met somewhere in the middle. James's eyes widened in shock, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around his waist. He didn't mind the neck crane to reach him. Kainga instantly starting to regret his decision when James pulled him in just a little bit closer to his body. He aborted mission, quickly pulling away while heavily flushed. His hand resting on James's chest. God he was an idiot. Regardless, he'd just kissed the Devil. Surprisingly, it wasn't even bad. Once Kainga pulled away he gasped for air like he was having a heart attack, James of course wouldn't know any different as there was hardly any space between them. Must've been the burning sensation his rough lips gave him. He softly stopped panting and looked back up at him. It was clear James was forgiven by the downright goofy grin James possessed on his face; Kainga only catching a glimpse of it when he pulled away.

"I'm sorry about that..." James finally apologized, lifting the weight from his voice.

Kainga sighed, throwing his bag back over his shoulder, his gaze had softened as he looked back at James.

"Thank you for apologizing, James. I'll...see you soon."

James was far too giddy about the fact they just kissed. As well as the fact he didn't initiate it. Kainga smiled gently, giving his cheek another kiss as he walked by him, somewhat reluctantly but it felt nice.

"See you soon~" James swooned after him.

Kainga laughed.

---

There was a shuffle of the burnt paper as Kainga sprawled the parchments out on the table. All their edges and sides lightly burnt as the bits of paper crumbled off the cinder. He nervously wiped some of the embers off of the café table. Densen gave him a strange look from the other side as he sipped his coffee.

"So your work just...caught on fire? Just like that?"

Kainga looked at him almost suspiciously, sighing before shuffling the paper back into a neat pile by thumping them onto the table.

"Well yes, I suppose so. I think I sat next to a electrical outlet. Must've just short circuited or something."

Kainga was basically forced to come up with a lie to draw his friends away from the fact his Satanic, somewhat boyfriend had just set his work on fire. He clenched his teeth, nervously squirming in his seat. He prayed to whatever God there was that Densen wasn't fully aware of how electrical fires are caused. For now he just gave him a very incredulous look as he audibly swallowed. Luckily his story flew right over the Dane's head. Kainga sighed, his breath thickly lined with fear as he picked up the cup of tea he'd ordered. Unbeknownst to him, Densen was the least of his worries. He could only imagine the look on their faces when he told them he was dating the guy who put him in crutches the first time they met.

Unfortunately, Kainga was not very good at hiding secrets from people. Everything around him crashed when Piri came up to their table, ushering the words:

"Was that your boyfriend?"

Kainga instantly spat out his tea all over Densen. Choking on the hot liquid as he erupts in fits of coughs and splutters, trying to save what little of his tea he managed to keep in his cup. Densen sighed and started to wipe the tea off his face with a nearby napkin. Kainga gulped.

"Sorry..."

Densen merely huffed, cleaning himself completely and throwing the tea soaked napkin to the side. Piri with his other friend, Tino, behind him, excitedly sat down next to Kainga. Half pushing the poor Tongan against the wall as he slid up next to him. Piri's face glimmered with excitement at him, saying no words yet Kainga dreaded what he'd just seen. He knew what he'd seen and that made him want to curl up and die right there. Densen looked at them all oddly.

"Who's boyfriend?" The Dane questioned the trio all at once.

Tino chirped in, his mouth full of a chocolate roll. "Kainga's boyfriend! Piri saw him kissing someone in the library! After the fire alarm went off."

Densen's mouth gaped as he stared at Kainga. "HE WHAT?!"

Kainga attempted to hide his face by holding his forehead. He supposed it wouldn't be long until his group caught onto him. He'd gathered all of their stares over the table as he quietly sipped on the rest of his tea, stalling on what to say.

"You didn't answer my question. Are you dating someone and keeping it from the group?" Piri asked him, getting impossibly close to his personal bubble. In fact, it was non existent at this point. It'd popped as soon as the Filipino opened his mouth.

Kainga wouldn't lie to himself, as much as he wanted to throw the rest of his hot tea into Piri's face in order to stop him from the influx of invasive questions he knew he was about to throw onto him. He knew he wasn't going to stop hounding him for details about his mysterious lover.

"Well...yes. Sort of. It's complicated. Very complicated."

"Oh?" Piri's eyes were so wide, Kainga could barely see past them. The stares of his friends made Kainga shrink a little into his merino sweater. He swallowed and continued.

"You know...the first time we all met I was in crutches? I told you all I'd been hit by a car. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah I do. What about it?"

"Well." Kainga paused, almost for dramatic effect. It was mainly to calm his nerves, keeping his friends on edge. "I'm kind of dating, well not really dating. More like seeing. I'm seeing the guy that....ran me over."

Suddenly silence.

Kainga could practically hear all of their reactions echoing off of their faces. His eyes scrunched up tightly before they opened slightly to see three overly astonished faces glaring at him. The sounds of the café around them being the only sound to be heard as Kainga felt the overbearing sense of dread that washed over him once more.

Piri was the most awestruck one.

"You're...dating the guy that almost killed you?!"

"Yeah and get this. The nutjob thinks he's Satan."

Kainga was really treading on eggshells. Careful with his predetermined wording to not spill that James was ACTUALLY Satan. Piri sits back, his jaw basically on the floor at this point. Like his soul had left his body.

Tino took it as an opportunity to speak up.

"You have very questionable taste in your men..."

"Tino, not now." Densen mumbles hotly to the Finnish boy next to Piri. Kainga wasn't going to keep this secret intact, looking at them all as he finished his tea. Densen's coffee had gone cold beside him. All of their concerned and shocked expressions made Kainga groan, perhaps it was worse than he imagined. It also made him double take his entire relationship with James at this point. Was he really insane for going through with this? Again with the second guessing.

Kainga barely escaped that conversation. He found himself repeating himself with all the questions Piri, Densen and Tino shot at him like a gun. They just kept coming. Barely giving them half the story, they were mainly beyond themselves with him. It was mainly Piri to hound him with questions until he was on the floor crying. What made it worse was he walked home with him as they lived in the same apartment building on campus. They usually walked home together, watching the viridescent trees that lined the Campus streets shrivel up and crisp into their autumn bloom.

Misty dew covers the entire surface of the field as they pass, Auckland almost transformed from it's burning Summers to it's cooler Autumns. Autumn slowly weaves its way in and leaves a stain of brilliant color in its wake. Kainga and Piri stepped on the ground that was covered with a blanket of colorful leaves that had fallen from the trees like snow, leaving some branches almost bare. Various other trees possessing vibrant sunset like colored leaves that dangled from their branches like giant hanging bats. The dead leaves crunching below them and the significantly cooler air around them really made it feel like Autumn. On this autumn day the foliage above could be his infinite dreams of scarlet and gold, playful in the soft light, colors ignited for all who care to see. They are the candles of the daylight, these trees that bring their art to their world, their branches taking root in the sky.

Kainga adjusted his scarf as Piri was rambling on about something. Frankly the Tongan had stopped listening a while ago.

"Kai?! Hey are you even listening to me?!"

"What? Oh yeah I am. Sorry just lost in thought."

"You're thinking about that Satan guy aren't you?"

Kainga shot him a dismayed look from the judgmental side-eye he gave him. Giving his now red hued nose a rub before nestling it into his scarf.

"No. In fact he's the last thing I want to think about. He infuriates me."

"If he infuriates you why do you date him?"

"Piri I ask myself that everyday..." he laughed lightly. "I'm not here to fuck spiders, or devils for that matter. I just want to get my education, then go home."

Piri frowned a little. "So you're not staying here?"

Kainga shook his head.

"I don't need to. Once I graduate this will be all over and I can go back home. That's my plan and I'm gonna stick to it."

"What about your whole dating Satan situation? Are you going to break it off with him?"

Kainga goes quiet for a while after reaching the front door of his apartment building. He could feel the warmth of the indoor heater from inside as he shuffled around in his coat pocket for his keys.

"He's not actually Satan. The dumbass just claims to be him..." He announced through rather gritted teeth. "...and frankly I'm still thinking about it. He's insane yes, but give him time and he's a genuinely nice guy. Or somewhat at least. I'll just see where it goes and pray I don't become some human sacrifice." he snorted a little and pulled out his keys at last. "You coming inside?"

Piri shrugged.

"Nah sorry. I've got another lecture. I'm taking a photography course, on top of all my Physiology. Told you I can hardly catch a break!" Piri smiled sweetly at him before pausing, his smile drooping a little at the corners of his mouth. "Just be careful would you?"

Kainga looked at him oddly. Why would he say that? Surely James wouldn't hurt him. Or at least hurt him that much...

"What do you mean by that?"

"That guy you're dating. He seems...odd...just be careful around him. I'm only looking out for you." Piri said, his demeanor coming off as very serious now. Kainga shifted nervously.

"Y-yeah...I will. Don't worry about me." he expressed in an attempt to draw away his friends concern. They said their goodbyes and Piri was off back down the road into campus. Kainga was left to stand there for a while. His faint breath drifted out from the wooly fabric of his scarf. As he headed inside, his mind started to spin. He even got a little dizzy as he reached the stairs up to his apartment. It was a voice. James's voice. Hushed yet cold. Hungrily husk in the way it drawls in his mind like a broken record. The crucifix getting so heavy it felt like he was carrying a boulder around his neck. Like his body would just collapse and fall straight through the stairs into the fiery pits of Hell awaiting him. He staggered, feeling like his throat was about to rip out of his neck as if some dark creature of Hell was shredding him to pieces. Gnarling, thrashing blades that looked like the creatures teeth until he saw red. Like something was tearing away at his very existence. His humanity.

A panic attack.

The same few words James ushered to him on loop. Almost demanding.

"You trust me...don't you?"

---

James, surprisingly enough, does leave Kainga alone for another long period of time. For about a week or so. After Kaingas panic attack on the stairs, his mind would replay that same scene. A reoccurring dream he'd been having, the one he was currently having now. That same creature. It wasn't human. In fact far from it. It was a horrible looking beast. The exoskeleton of a large hound with dark red flesh wrapped around it's bones as if it'd grown on top of a corpse-like fungi. The creature had no eyes, just oozing muscles that'd contorted around its face and long grueling snout. Large carnivorous teeth that protruded from its mouth like large stalagmites in a cave, they lined the entire jaw of the creature, so much so that it was constantly salivating and looked as if it wasn't able to even close it's mouth.

It was the thing of nightmares. No matter how far or fast Kainga ran, he was running into nothing. No light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing. Surrounding darkness with a vague splash of thinly lined water below him. The hellish flesh creature chasing behind him, getting closer and closer. Attempting to swipe at him with the one obtruded claw that stuck out as longer than the rest. It'd always go for his heel, slicing at it until Kainga could run no more, his heel bleeding out as he was rendered unable to run away from it.

He'd scramble away. He'd scream until he choked as the creature devoured him. Slashing and gnawing at him with a horrendous low growl and snarl. His breath stolen away from the screaming and crying from the insufferable pain as the creature engulfed his flesh that was torn from his body like a piece of cooked meat. That awful feeling like he was falling yet his body remained in the same place.

Then a faint image, blurred almost beyond recognition to the naked eye, the eye that didn't know what the devil himself looked like. But he sure did. James reaching out to him. To help him? To grab him? Kainga still wasn't sure himself, he just knew it was James standing above him. He went to reach for him like he was his safety. Oh what a foolish mistake of a desperate man. Kainga's fingers barely scrapping the ashes atop of James's burning fingertips...

So close...

Everything went black.

A voice. James's voice. Called out and echoed in Kainga's blindness and pain...

"You trust me...don't you?"

Kainga woke as he did normally. Panting and damp with sweat, he'd awake screaming in pain, only to find the pain wasn't even there. It was as if the pain retreated from his body as soon as he awoke. It'd felt so real. Kainga wasn't even convinced it was a dream at this point. Some kind of sick hallucination or sleep paralysis caused by stress or James. No. James WAS his stress. He sat up right in his bed, sweating and heaving like he'd just run a marathon. His baggy shirt that he slept in was now drenched and saturated with his sweat that seeped through the fabric.

He grumbled under his breath, starting to wipe the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. He was dazed. What time was it? The sunlight of the morning gently caressed the edges of his curtains, giving his room a light amber hue. This morning he didn't smell the usual crispness of the morning, instead he smelt something cooking. Odd. Someone was cooking food. He hears a whistle of a song, one he can't quite make out, it was strangely familiar. He sleepily stumbled out of his room, resting against the doorframe to see who had stolen the use of his own kitchen from him. He pauses. His heart dropping a little.

"James?"

James turns around from the stove and smiles, holding up a spatula. Kainga is beyond confused now. "It's a...reasonable time. What are you doing here?"

"Making ya breakfast!" he chirped happily as Kainga walked over to him curiously. He had to hold back gagging at what he saw in the stove pan below him, the one James was holding and cooking was he assumed to be his meal on. Unless by some god-sent miracle his food was in another pan. The Tongan was probably dead to God by now.

"That's not breakfast, that's salmonella." Kainga mumbled and gestured at burnt scrambled eggs and what looked like a charred hash brown, scorched beyond revival. No wonder it smelt so burnt. He looked over at the table top, two cups of tea lay waiting. Kainga had never felt so domestic, relationship wise. If it wasn't for the food poisoning James was cooking up, it was very nice to say the least.

James nudged him playfully and watched him walk over to the table. "Whatever. Food is food. It's better than that long looking stuff you constantly eat."

"You mean my instant ramen? I'm a student. It gets me through. Plus it's cheap and I still don't have a job." Kainga smiled gently at him before sitting down at the table with a blanket he'd stolen from the apartment reception. He curled himself up and nursed the cup in his hands. It wasn't even cold, just warm enough to be drinkable. How long had James been here? He was very tempted to question him about the dreams he'd been having. But Satan would most likely just boast in his face about how Kainga was dreaming about him and ramble about how they were 'meant to be' again. He brought the tea up to his lips, the warm liquid bringing him back to life.

James interrupts his tranquility once again with a plate placed in front of Kainga. A breakfast of scrambled eggs that looked like a mush of wet cardboard atop a piece of toast that looked like a shaped out lump of charcoal. The only thing that wasn't burnt was the bacon, which would've been the only thing safe to eat even if it was burnt. The whole plate of food seemed to be radiating like it was a romantic breakfast in Chernobyl. Kainga audibly gulped.

"You...made all this yourself huh?" He weakly picked at the bacon that was in the shape of a love heart on the side of his plate. How, dare he say cute.

James perked up and looked at him with a mouthful of his own scrambled cardboard mush. His eyes bright like a child on Christmas morning.

"Yeah I did...~ how could you tell?"

"L-lucky guess..." He gave the biblical creature sat opposite him a rather gauche smile. He just sits and drinks his tea before even thinking about starting on his poison infected breakfast. Despite his lack of skills in gastronomy or basic cooking for that matter, it seemed James meant well. The way he dinkily smiled like a moron without a care in the world, Kainga couldn't help but wonder what was even going on inside his head. If there was anything going on inside his head. This was ridiculous; he wasn’t falling for Satan, was he? The guy was as far from prince charming as one could get and yet he was nowhere near as idiotic as he had been.

James finished up his plate of food before pushing it to the side, bringing his chair closer to the table as if he was about to interrogate him. Kainga managed to barely swallow down the mush of eggs, looking up at him with a lump welling up in his throat. Oh thank God, a reason to stop eating. He put his utensils down to listen to what the King of Hell had to say for himself.

"So, will you be busy today?”

“I handed that paper in last week and I have no current assignments, why do you ask?”

“We’re going on another date.”

“Another thing at a reasonable time, wow James I’m impressed.” He drawls, laughing a little at how proud James looks because he thinks he’s impressed him. Satan wasn’t supposed to be this endearing; Satan was supposed to be a dickhead. Then again, he supposes James more or less was one to begin with. It seemed with every word that James spoke he was becoming less demon. His human side was showing like he was gaining back a humanity that was lost long ago.

"Well, I've got some kingly duties back in Hell to attend to, but I can pick you up later in the afternoon." he chuffs proudly at referring to himself as 'Kingly'. "What time suits you best?"

Kainga hesitantly pushed his plate to the side. "A time? You're asking ME what time I want?" he asked, bewildered.

James just nodded quickly, smiling at him. Kainga was beyond suspicious yet somewhat amazed at him not being a arrogant fucking prick for once. He didn't keep his hopes high however.

"Umm...well it depends where you're taking me..."

"Oh. Well it's a surprise...~" James winks at him and leans back in his chair, holding his mug of tea in his hands and heating it up with his self-heating palms.

"Well. I need to get some shopping in first. Maybe about 1 or 2 I suppose? It shouldn't take that long. Plus I need to get ready."

"Ahh make yerself look pretty for me huh?~"

There it was. Back to the usual James. Kainga's stare hardened, yet he blushed at his sentiment, rather heavily. He frowns in bemusement and looks away from him.

"No. It's so I don't go out in public looking like I just got dragged through a dumpster."

"Oh please, you don't look like a dumpster. You didn't last time!"

"If that's a complement from you then I'm flattered." He murmured sarcastically. Grinning at James's expression dimming from prideful to confused. He finished his tea, placing the cup beside him.

James took that as an opportunity to switch the conversation back to the date.

"So, I'll come and pick you up at 1? I'll knock this time."

Kainga hummed and squinted at him. Why was be being awfully nice to him? Perhaps he had other intentions, or had changed his original ploy. Either way he was doubtful. He hated to admit it, but he liked this James. His cooking was unsatisfactory but he kept telling himself that James meant well above all. He smiled tenderly.

"Yeah. That sounds good. Thank you James."

James winks at him, taking their plates as he brushes past Kainga and with that he disappears. Kainga was left feeing oddly flattered, Lord only knows why he felt like that. He felt tingly and warm, the pits of his stomach churning in a flustered manner. Like he'd ate something bad but it felt amazing. He grimaced. It was probably that food that James had served up to him. He didn't feel sick however, it was a strange feeling. Like James had endeared him. Like he was starting to like him. Kainga instantly shook the thought away as he stood up sharply. What was this. Maybe it'll pass. He hoped it would pass. As the kettle boiled on the countertop, as Kainga poured the hot water into his mug and watched it brew with the teabag. The feeling didn't pass. He bit his lip as he kept pouring the boiled water, making it overflow while Kainga stood there, not noticing. His consciousness completely out of it.

Shit...

He was in love with the Devil.

---

Funny how much time can pass when you genuinely are looking forward to something. With his errands completed, Kainga stumbled through the door holding three large paper bags full of groceries. He heaved himself and the abnormally heavy bags into his apartment, dropping a can of baked beans beside him. He audibly groaned as he hefted the bags onto the table, practically gasping for air. Maybe he should buy a car. Who was he kidding he didn't even have his drivers license and frankly after his experiences, he'd rather stay far away from them all together. Maybe a bus card would be better. After a breather he started to unpack the shopping, his coat hung on the back of his chair.

Once he finished unpacking it was nearing 1'o clock already so he went to start getting ready. Although he didn't like to admit it, he was rather excited about where James would take him. Sure he took him to a greasy Fish and Chip shack in Wellington before but surely James would have some new found knowledge of reasonable places to take someone on a nice date. Maybe a romantic breakfast in Paris or running across rooftops as the night set in, the Eiffel Tower illuminating the city. Or something more thrilling, gambling in Las Vegas, even a skyline dinner overlooking New York or somewhere mountainous and beautiful like Queenstown. The possibilities were limitless, he'd be lying to himself if he said this wasn't the most excited he had been for something in a while.

He quickly got ready, throwing on a white long sleeved shirt with a button-down collar to fit in a striped dark blue tie that was fastened tightly against his neck. Autumn or Spring are unpredictable so he put on a basic V-neck blue sweater overtop, bringing his collar out so the top of the tie knot was still visible. Finally navy trousers and polished leather black shoes and socks. He liked to dress smart, yet he still looked causal as he didn't know where he was going to end up. Standing in front of the mirror he puffed out his chest with pride, his blood running with excitement as the clock hits 1.

James arrives at 1'o clock like he stated, his presence announced with a knock on the door in a sweet rhythmic tone. Kainga had just finished giving his hair one last curl before he stands up to open the door for him. If he’s honest with himself, he’s flattered that the other was doing as he’d requested, something as simple as just being on time. He opens the door to find James standing there in his same causal suit he'd worn last time, however the bright red tie was missing as he was just wearing a black cuffed long sleeved Plaid shirt with a belt and pants. In his grasp was a bouquet of Heilala flowers. Vermilion cherry red flowers that sprouted magnificent Hibiscus flowers in full bloom, displaying a shade of vivid cerise of pinks to reds. Tonga's national flower.

James's smile was so cheesy it could make you lactose intolerant.

Kainga was amazed. Quite like nothing he'd experienced or expected. He stood in the doorway with his mouth agape at the sight of him. Had he really gone out of his way to buy him these particular flowers? James quite audibly cleared his throat.

"G'day smuckaroo~"

Kainga raised a brow at him.

"Smuckaroo?"

"In me defense you gave me, what, a few hours to come up with a new nickname." James jokingly complained. Kainga laughed.

"To be fair, I don't mind it. Also you didn't say much about today so I didn't know what to- WEAR-!"

Kainga was interrupted by James shoving the flowers into his chest, some of the buds hitting his face making him jump a little. His sentence was muffled after getting a face full of flowers.

"T-these are for you!!! I wasn't sure what flowers you liked so I got you these because they're Heilala and they're your countries national flowers and whatnot!" He spoke quickly as if he was embarrassed by his sweet gesture. Like the Devil giving out flowers made him seem weak or soft but he knew that he'd only do this for one person and one person only.

Kainga's cheeks burned up vividly as he took them from James's large hands, admiring them. His hands wrapped around the base of the bouquet, tied up neatly with a silk red ribbon.

"O-oh? You got me flowers? Ah...wow James. They're very beautiful. Remind me of home..." he held them close to his chest until his face was as red as the petals. How sweet of James. He smiled fondly. "I'll go put them in some water and be right out okay?" He uttered before walking back inside and placing the flowers in a large vase on his table. Leaving James out in the apartment corridor to feel even more proud of himself, sub-consciously feeding his probably massive ego. He did a excited little air fist bump to congratulate himself as he waited.

Kainga came back out to the dingy corridor a little while later, locking up his flat door before turning back to James.

"Right. Thank you for waiting." Kainga pockets his key heavy keychain, eyeing further down James's suit. That's when he realizes the gumboots he's wearing. Right. New Zealander. He wasn't even surprised at this point. A fancy clean suit topped off with a pair of muddied gumboots. Maybe the Devil doesn't wear Prada, no. The Devil wears gumboots. Kainga doesn't mention it, he simply retorted his gaze back at James's punchable stupid face and gave him a rather pointed look. "So...where exactly ARE we heading today?"

James grinned. "I told you, it's a surprise! I'm sure you'll like it though!~" He held out his hand for Kainga to hold on to, which he does. Kainga takes his hand. He knew the drill. Teleportation with a danger of being ripped in half. How romantic. James takes it a step further however, wrapping his arm around Kainga's waist. Before he even had time to react James snapped his fingers. That pull at the pit of his stomach like his intestines were being unraveled out of his body washes over him, James falling through fast winds like the world was turning upside-down. His breath taken from him by the high velocity winds, allowing him no room to scream. He accepts his fate and clings onto James for dear life until they finally drop to the floor.

There's was a ringing in his ear, a loud one. He became dizzy but not as much as before, his whole body felt translucent as the cold winds died around them. Kainga still clung onto James as he came back to his senses. His hearing came first as his ears popped. There are noises. People in a fairly populated area, what sounded like some children with their families. The ringing of a cellphone. It was definitely an outdoor environment. Kainga looked up, finally realizing where they were once his eyes caught sight of their surroundings.

"A-a...zoo?"

"Yeah! Auckland zoo darlin'!!! You're studying Zoology as well as Literature ain't ya? And yer file says you like animals so I brought you to the best zoo in the country!"

Kainga gently let go of James and rubbed his eyes. Examining the sight of the less populated zoo before giving James a thrilled look.

"James I...wow. Oh shit this is amazing...really!" The Tongan's whole aura seems to brighten as he got happier. Kainga quickly grabbed James's hand, wasting no time at all he hurriedly dragged James to see the animals. James tripped and laughed it off as he followed this new side of Kainga.

They paced along the well packed paths and jarred fences around the zoo. Dense jungle leaves against the bamboo thickets blurred in their line of sight as Kainga hurried to see everything yet keeping his well structured plan that he bored James with along the way. Every pathway curving along the enclosures of incredible and exotic beasts, the zoo sectioned off into certain areas based on country or continent. The exotic breeds from all over the world left him breathless, watching the different colors of each species and how they fly across the perfect replica of their natural habitat was an enthralling experience. All the animals make him feel like they have entered the incredible depths of Amazon jungle. The atmosphere and the cage designs seemed as real as nature itself.

Kainga stops by the South American exhibit to admire the vibrant and vivid colors of the parrots. What surprised him the most was that it was an open enclosure, meaning the parrots could fly around an open space where tourists walked through as they pleased. An eye-catching Blue and Gold Macaw perched on a high branch just above Kainga. James smiled as Kainga giggled at the bird, softly petting it's beautifully preened feathers.

"I take it you like birds the most then huh?" James mentions as the bird puffed out its feathers in a sign of enjoyment. Another Macaw came up behind James and curiously pecked at a folded up map he's holding, making James jump and swatting harmlessly at the cheeky bird. It flapped it's wings and squawked at him rather loudly, James was holding back the urge to squawk back at it.

"Avians have always been my favorite. There's something so magnificent about them. I adore all the tropical species, especially the ones back home."

The Macaw took flight from beside him and landed back on it's perch high in the tropical lush trees that shaded the entire area. Kainga watched it fly away with awe before noticing a keeper in a red polo shirt and microphone preforming with the dazzling birds. Kainga was transfixed by the colors of the large parrots and they spun and shimmered against the light that cut through the trees. The keeper spoke to the gathering crowd of visitors. Kainga was about to ask if they wanted to go and watch before his arm was grabbed and dragged away by James. He made a disgruntled yelp but followed, James making an excitable claim about seeing the "Ripper crocodiles they had here!" Going against Kainga's structured plan of the date.

"James?! I thought we were seeing the elephants next?"

"Are yer serious?" James asked with a grin, looking over his shoulder at him. "Do we need to plan everything?"

"Yes, James. I am serious. Zoo going is a serious business." Kainga retorted with a straight face. He couldn't hold it and let a small laugh escape. "At least a general direction will do, so we don't waste time going all over the place in zigzags."

James rolled his eyes and scoffed. "C'mon. Live a little would ya?! We got all afternoon here and frankly I'd rather spend it looking at giant man-eating lizards!" He exclaimed that like there was nothing more romantic than seeing a 500 kilogram or so prehistoric beast rip apart a raw chicken or a full leg of a cow. After the dreams Kainga had been having, he might as well be sick to his stomach even thinking about it.

"Well if you want to see the crocodiles, we're going the wrong way. You're holding the map upside down James."

---

The date goes, dare he say perfectly. They explored every area of the zoo as the evening started to set in, Kainga made sure that he saw everything no matter the animal or enclosure. James occasionally boasting about how he created some of these animals, ever so causally. Mainly the dangerous, venomous creatures that could kill you within seconds. They'd seen everything from swinging monkey's to large carnivorous cats like lions and tigers. Kainga stood on his tippy toes and leaned over the railing to get a view of each one. Running his fingers along the glass at the Orangutan exhibit and watching in awe as they swung around their enclosure with remarkable balance. There was only one area left. The one James was most excited about showing Kainga that he'd saved until last. The area at the very back of the zoo past the frigid penguin and seal enclosure.

Most tourists start to vacate the zoo as darkness rears its head over the blue skies, creating a symphony of crimson and orange tinges that form the sunset. James lead Kainga deeper as the thicket around them seem to darken too, becoming more native to the New Zealand bush with deep green ferns beginning to line the wooden boardwalk. With all of the crowds gone, Kainga was met with the sounds of the zoo. A distant river rushing and what sounded like a waterfall against native bird song that echoed from the canopy. A lot of it too.

"Oh? James where are we?" Kainga asked him in a hasty whisper, like they weren't supposed to be here.

"Yer said ya liked birds right?"

"Yes. I did..."

"Well we're in the New Zealand bird section. It's a giant aviary full of native birds. There's a look-out at the top too! C'mon!"

They came to a small gate that was the entrance to the whole massive exhibit. An entire enclosed jungle inside of it, the whole aviary like a hidden paradise that mimicked the natural beauty of the New Zealand forest like it was sliced right from one. James dragged Kainga through rather roughly, making the Tongan yell at him.

Dusk stained the glistening foliage with shadow and murk. As nightfall descended, the sounds of the jungle began to ebb. Uncertainty hung in the warm, wet air as the creatures began to prepare for the long stretch of darkness. Kainga trailed James as they walked through, the sound of his shoes hitting the damp mossy trail, that switched from gravelly dirt to a boardwalk that took them higher into the dense undergrowth. He caught sight of a small stream that trickled down the rocky surface next to the boardwalk, eventually leading to a waterfall that glistened in the little light that was emitted as the canopy covered what little of the days light was left. Causing bright dashes of color around the forest. The hurried flapping of bird wings as curious Fantails perched themselves along the trees next to the track, dancing and swaying their black and white tail feathers as they twirled around the couple. Perhaps hoping to get a closer look with their eccentric chirping. James stopped to let Kainga watch them.

Finally they made it up the wooden stairs to a large balcony, looking over the whole of the aviary like a king looked over his kingdom. Kainga instantly went to the end of the deck and looked over the lush canopy below. Various leaves rustled with signs of life within them, an array of bird song sang out like a choir. Not in sync but beautiful nonetheless. Kainga watched in wonderment at the sight, he crossed his arms and rested them on the wooden railing. He gazed out.

"Oh James...it's beautiful. Really. This is wonderful." He addressed him as he saw James come and lean on the fence next to him in his peripheral vision. His smile was warm and bright.

"I knew you'd like it. Rather peaceful up here isn't it." James watched Kainga smile as he watched out. The way it made him feel was different. Kainga's smile was captivating him. So much so that he'd rather watch him smile subtly than watch the setting sun over the forest. Kainga did notice. When it came to James he wasn't really subtle. About anything. He found it charming. The simple fact that James was watching him smile, made him smile more.

It was a short while of tranquility before it was broken by the real reason they were up here. Birds started to appear from their hides once the pair were stationary. First a Tīeke flapped beside Kainga's arm, making its way to the various fruits on the bird feeder beside them. It's black and brown pigment almost blended in with the damp wood. It wasn't long before more birds came to feed. A pair of curious Kākās perched on the thick branches, alongside a dazzling Wood Pigeon that was sat preening its verdant feathers.

They soon had a collection of native birds surrounding them. Rainbow lorikeets showing off their flamboyant bright colored feathers as they began to feed as well. Various smaller finches and Fantails got closer to Kainga's hands, flying close to him so much so that he could feel the air being beaten off their small wings. They danced around them like a scripted ballet performance in the air. Some brave Gouldian finches even perching on Kainga's palm and fingers chirping at him like they were telling him the latest gossip. Kainga laughed with the light tickling of their small claws on his skin before watching them fly to the bird feeder beside him. He turns his attention back to James, now only realizing how close they were together.

"Hey James?"

James paused to give him a bit of a weird look. Kainga more focused on the flashy Wood Pigeon now so James shrugs it off.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about yourself."

Kainga finally speaks up about the important questions in their relationship. If they were going to move further that is. And the truth is, he really didn't know all that much about James. Other than the fact we was as dumb as a pile of bricks.

"You...want to know about me?"

Kainga gulps as he fears he's struck a nerve within the Devil beside him with James's sudden tense. To his surprise. James just smiles, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah. I do."

"Well there really isn't much to say. Or to know really," The New Zealander replies. ",I was born in heaven as an angel, given the name Lucifer by birth. Ever since eyes were laid upon me I was the favorite of the Archangels. I was incredibly good looking I must say..." he laughed before pausing. Almost sadly. "And. As the story goes. I was God's favorite."

Kainga almost feels pity for him as James gives him a saddened side glance. James kept going as Kainga rested his head on his shoulder gently.

"According to the other angels, I became so impressed with my own beauty, intelligence and power that I started to desire more. I was greedy. I wanted the honor and glory that belonged to God and God alone. Even though he loved me like his own. I was young and stupid. I felt like I could do more, be more than who I was. As my version goes, I was the one who asked for a pay rise and got kicked out of Heaven." Even though James laughed, it seemed he was just joking to cover up the pain in his voice at the retelling.

"The sin that corrupted me was self-generated pride. I fought them off until I was on the edge of Heaven."

"Fought who?"

"The other angels. They started to tear at my wings, they ripped 'em right off my body. War broke out in Heaven. God did nothing to stop them. I had my reasons. I had my rights! But this all perfect all loving all forgiving God couldn't find it in himself to love me again, nevermind forgive me. Sometimes I ask myself if he still loves me like he did before. My revolt was unsuccessful and I was kicked out of heaven and fell to plummet to the underworld. I no longer deserved my place in Heaven and I was replaced. It's only for the stuck up snobs that prefer a perfect boring good life anyways. With that, I started to build Hell with my own two hands. I lifted it from the dirt and dust and created a haven for the imperfect to thrive. So expectations of a superior God wouldn't constantly force them to be something they're not. Despite what those God manipulated mortals wrote in that fucking book, Hell is not what it seems."

James's breath is hasty before he finishes up, leaving him rather silent. Kainga softly takes his hand, unsure of what even to say. James's hand grips his as Kainga ushered. "I'm sorry..." Maybe he shouldn't of asked.

"It's....It's okay. I've learned from it, I'm now King of Hell and get to bully the absolute shit out of Catholics. In all honesty I'd rather be Satan or James than Lucifer."

"Do you, not like being called Lucifer?"

James shook his head. "No. Lucifer was an angel. Lucifer was Gods favorite. I'm not him anymore."

"In all visual depictions of Satan I've seen, you've always had wings. Why don't you have any now?"

"Well, they were torn from me body. Some presume I got new wings but I didn't. Perhaps it was the final punishment, so I couldn't fly back up to the golden gates of Heaven. I've still got little stubs from where they used to be though. Wanna touch 'em?!"

"What?! Fuck no!"

"Oh c'mon! Sometimes they get a little juicy-"

"JAMES FUCK OFF-"

The mood is quickly lightened again as Kainga ducked under the playful swipe James threw at him in an attempt to catch him. The Tongan avoiding touching those wing stubs like the plague, laughing all the while he's slowly backed against the railing. James eventually caught him by his hips. Kainga expected him to tell him to touch it again, but he did something a lot more surprising. James holds his hips and kisses him instead. No crucifix to burn his lips this time. The only heat coming from his mouth was the passionate intertwining of their lips as Kainga kissed him back. It only grew deeper as Kainga moved his hands from his chest to wrap his arms around his neck. He doesn't notice the hands under his shirt until they start to softly knead at the skin above his waist. There's no room to separate them anymore. Not with James's warm hands touching further up the sides of his body. He almost forgets that they're in a public place. He almost forgets that he's making out with Satan.

Kainga barely noticed a thing. He thought the tug at his stomach was just butterflies. You can imagine his shock when the foundations of his balance crumble and he lands on his back against the sheets of a bed. He opened his mouth to say something, most likely profanity before James cuts him off and the kissing resumes. That familiar glow of the curtains behind James. Shit. They were back at his apartment. In his bed.

James is surprisingly gentle with him. As gentle as the Devil could be at least. The burning sensation of his lips travels down his neck and shoulders, allowing Kainga to gasp out for breath. He started to remove his clothes like one would undress a doll, his mouth always pressed against some form of his flesh. Kainga spluttered slightly as lewd noises started to spill from his lips as James is not too hasty, nor too rough with him once he finally intensified his movements. Bite marks are left stinging on his collar bone as James builds up his release, matching the scratch marks Kainga left on his back. He was right about the stubs where his wings once were. Kainga was too out of it to notice, squirming below him before there's a pause and sweet relief. Everything seemed to burn.

So. That was sex huh? Before that encounter he'd seen sex as overrated and bland. Before that encounter he was a virgin.

He just had his first time with Satan. Fucking. Satan.

[buzzykrueger]

When Gon’s anger becomes a protective mechanism for Killua

IMPORTANT: The text is long, plus, I do not support Gon hate. He’s a human being and a kid, so don’t worry, none of my analysis will put him as a monster.

You know the theory that one of the reasons Gon shuts Killua out from Pitou’s fight, besides proving himself and erasing his guilt, is also to keep Killua safe? I didn’t understand at first, but I kinda agree with that now.

Remember the “YES I AM AN IDIOT” iconic scene, Greed Island arc?

Let’s talk about that and link it all.

They’ve spent half of the chapter 158 arguing because Gon kept insisting on meeting this “Chrollo Lucilfer” person inside the game, while Killua was trying to be logical, saying that this person wouldn’t clarify their reasons only by asking them. Killua eventually gives in, and after Gon uses the card, they travel to met not Chrollo, but Hisoka, who asks if they went all that way just to ask him a question (implying how dumb it was).

Gon says that’s pretty much their reason and Killua kept teasing Gon on his dumb choice.

But after some ping-pong teasing between them, the reason Gon was being stubborn is, actually, a concern that lights up on his mind with memories of his journey to rescue Killua from Kukuroo Mountain. Even blushing, Gon says that he was reminded of Gotoh’s words and was worried that both of them were being deceived.

Gotoh’s words were, exactly:

Be careful. And protect Killua.

This also adds to the character analysis - one that is very on point - that Gon being outgoing doesn’t mean he puts depth to analyzing his feelings. He speaks his mind, the problem is not to talk per se - but to put effort into understand his intentions behind those actions. He could say he was worried about them, but he doesn’t, because he speaks first and doesn’t think through what he feels. He’s yes outgoing, but impulsive, and very immersive into acting first, think later - or even thinking only when questioned, because it didn’t even crossed his mind. That’s why we see him talking but yet... it’s hard to know what is happening inside him aside from Killua’s common inner monologues. But maybe protecting Killua it’s so natural that he doesn’t even bother to explain. To think that he keeps Gotoh’s words and even mentions it after all this time, such a nice and gentle touch of how much he respects his bond with Killua. 

Now, let’s get back to the CAA events. Specifically chapter 222.

A very shocked and distressed Gon was learning through Kite's attacks, but not to defend himself or parry. His painful attempts were all leading to dodge the punches and faints, so he could give puppet Kite a hug, and an apology.

Yes, he said terrible things to Killua - and of course wanting to protect him wasn’t the only reason. But he knew from the moment they first met Pitou, that they were dangerous. He wanted to deal with that alone, because it was “his mess”, so he shouldn’t endanger his most beloved one. 

We know that this is a turning point for Gon’s development in this arc, because it is the moment where his resolve becomes tainted with all the guilt he is facing. It’s when he starts to lose himself, and Killua knows that, probably, nothing he says or do will convince Gon otherwise.

But what contrasts with the well-known harsh words towards his best friend, is that he never meant to exclude Killua from the whole situation. That's why he says "OUR fault".

Then, right after, he addresses Killua directly. Visibly starting to lose himself, he takes the responsibility to prove he's strong to fix it, but I think that due to his communication pattern, he might also mean that he’s want to fix it without endangering who he wanted to fight by his side under normal circumstances.

It’s an act that can hold both guilt and protection. He addresses only that one person in the room because he needs Killua to know that this isn't a normal situation, and that's why he can't bring him to this fight. It isn’t normal because someone dear to him got hurt really bad. It isn’t normal because his best friend, someone who would not think before putting his life at risk for Gon, shouldn’t endanger himself to the point he could face the same destiny, specially because this is Gon’s way to show he cares. Again, Gon just speaks his mind without much thought, with his intentions between the lines. His effort to put his feelings into words mixed with the suffering he is handling are, on his mind, overwhelming enough - but still he cared to speak directly to Killua. Could this be, again, another demonstration of not-so-well-thought feelings spoken with the first words that come to his mouth?

Wouldn’t make sense, after all of those demonstrations of Gon’s behavior when someone is endangered and he desperately wants to take control of the situation because he thinks this is the best way to protect them and to be useful, and with that, deserving of their company? 

As Gon's communication is both simple (in words) and complex (behind the words), since he doesn't think through his feelings and he’s a stubborn child, it makes hard for others to catch his intentions, specially if they're already struggling to understand that they are not a burden. Because Killua’s mindset on making friends also includes the need to feel useful, just like Gon’s, but expressed through different means - and by being casted away fro Gon’s decision and later saving the boy in order to push him forward once again to his goal (alone this time), Killua thinks Gon has cut ties with him. as he couldn’t play a helpful role within Gon’s life anymore. So, this is how he reaches the rejective conclusion.

But the connection that I'm trying to make is that even thought Gon’s words were awful as the boy himself recognized, I truly believe Gon still wouldn't want Killua to fight even if he knew how his friend felt.  But not because he rejected Killua or meant to cut ties with his “no longer useful” best friend.

Because Gon has stated already: Killua doesn’t have to earn his friendship.

Those harsh words during the Palace Invasion were an attempt to regain control of the situation, prove his worth in the middle of a mental chaos that he wasn’t ready to face. But still, what if he kept reminding himself that he must protect his best friend in the entire world and just couldn’t find a better way to say it? Because he knows Killua is capable of self-sacrificing, Gon tried to stop him before, and Pitou is terribly strong. If it’s hard for him to translate his feelings when he is calm and collected, the extreme condition he found himself dragged in would’ve just made this communication face more obstacles. Fighting his own pain - another thing he couldn’t translate for the sake of his own mental health - led to the words to come out like they were: heartbreaking.

So, I’m not saying that it was solely to protect Killua, but I think that makes sense for Gon’s character. And again, I don’t think he would agree that Killua would fight what he thinks it’s his battle alone. But, with his mind cleared and the right questions, he would've given Killua an answer. He would say that this is not about taking Killua out of the special place Gon has put him, but about Gon taking the the responsibility based on what he thinks it’s best for everyone. His feelings, either protective or hurtful, are only explained when he’s asked, because action speaks volume for him and he needs this trigger question to make him translate his intentions.

Just like in the Hunter Exam, he only tells Kurapika about how he felt with Hisoka because he questioned. 

And in the Yorknew Arc, Gon didn’t let Killua hurt himself and was really trying to understand how the other boy felt. Gon doesn't communicate well but not because he rejects his feelings, and still, he cares about others’ feelings too. He was just literally out of his mind. So yeah, I think he cared for Killua safety, and if after all this time he made a connection between his stubborn acts and Gotoh’s words, it’s because - on his mind - these words and thoughts never leave his head. He’s constantly worrying about Killua, in his own way. But he couldn't explain something that he didn't put a second thought even for himself to understand. And it's not the first time, he acts very similar in these mentioned situations.

What all these stubborn oriented situations that I’ve mentioned, except for the one regarding Hisoka, have in common? He wanted to protect Killua.

He was undeniably wrong in saying those words to Killua, but it’s something acknowledged by himself already. He IS, by his nature, a protective kid, and under normal circumstances, Killua would be allowed to fight by his side because it has to be him. If it’s not going to be him, it won’t be anyone else. He can’t risk to lose him for something that he feels overly responsible. His words were rooted in pain, but the moment he addresses Killua that he would fight alone - a moment recollected by the latter in the hospital scene - shows respect for the one he has just lost, Kite, and the one he doesn’t want to lose. 

Killua is the one who never left him, never discredited him and is irreplaceable. Killua is the first thing that comes up to his mind when thinking about meeting Ging. Who would have thought that Gon’s mind would reach so far into memories and hold so deeply someone’s words like Gotoh’s?

He was selfish. But it’s a childish selfishness, built on such empty expectations about himself that he ends up forcing on others what he believes that is the right thing to do, in order to keep others safe, no matter how bad he hurts his body... because when it comes to protect those he care, he loses respect on his self-care due to this low self-esteem of his. So, he didn’t ask Killua to “please, let me fight alone”, because he’s decided to not drag Killua into a fight he knows he might lose, and then Killua couldn’t be protected.

And makes sense, again, that Killua couldn’t read between these lines, because he also blames himself for everything that happened, and thinks his feelings and desires would only keep in Gon’s way - that’s why those words hit him so deeply, but the thing that hurts him the most was the sole fact that Gon fought alone. He can’t help but compare to the dodgeball, and like Gon, Killua has his own unhealthy patterns: since he only knows love through pain, when he’s prevented from getting hurt against his will, he fails to understand it as an act of love.

The bond they’ve established while playing Greed Island was expressed through dozens of symbolisms already well discussed among the fandom (Killua’s badge, the rainbow diamond, the famous line during the dodgeball game). And I don’t doubt that their encounter with Pitou held traces of the same protective pattern, but messed up by Gon’s internal struggle.

For the times Gon showed concern before, we can mention more expressive moments like the whole Zoldyck arc, when they were escaping from the Troupe, when Tzeseguerra said he’d endangered Killua or even when Killua got caught by some spell, etc, or we can even analyze his body language. Like here:

Before the date, Gon is indirectly protecting Killua in here, through his body language (Killua entered the room first, but Gon puts himself between them):

And after the date, while being punished for hurting her feelings, Gon screams at Palm when she tried to stab Killua, probably implying that he was observing and only interveins when she tries to hurt anyone other than himself - because he is, again, being stubborn and taking all the blame and control in order to redeem his actions and prove his capacity to fix things. I think it’s possible that Gon talked to her about Killua off curtains, or at least made an agreement about not involving Killua in her madness, but it it’s open to interpretation.

So, yeah, I can’t help but link everything to his pattern. He responds to the fear of losing those he loves with the same impactful devotion that is given to him, but it is so impactful that fails vocabulary and second thoughts. He knows Killua will be the first to risk his life if something happens or to prevent Gon from getting hurt during his tasks. Killua tends to sacrifice a lot and never complains while doing it, so I think it’s pretty much plausible that even when he can’t express himself at all, he’s worrying about Killua in the corner of his mind. Sometimes, just before our eyes.

Anyways, I love re-reading Greed Island arc and linking to their development through CAA because pretty much anything they do, they’re doing together, and they were bonding so beautifully. Their relationship was never so well-detailed before, but mostly for us, when they didn’t get much time to put in the balance how rushed their training was, and how fast they got attached to the point they can’t even stop thinking about each other while distant.

They look at each other like this:

They inspire this kind of reaction from others:

And there’s this one... nothing big, I just love it hahahaha

They’re in love each others’ top priority. It’s not impossible that Gon took Killua’s safety into matter, but his mind and words failed him, as he himself acknowledges that the only explanation to say those things to Killua is that “he doesn’t know what he was thinking”. Because, under normal circumstances, just like about letting Killua fight by his side, he would NEVER hurt Killua’s feelings. He IS protective. He didn’t have to rescue Killua from his own home - since Killua left for himself - but he still does it, instead of sticking to his main journey. And did not budge until Killua was safe by his side.

It’s a badly worded protection, because he doesn’t even know self-protection and puts action before everything. To figure a better way out of this pattern, he will now have plenty of time to find new ways to protect Killua and himself from the flaws of their dynamic. Their emotional attachment didn’t grow as fast as their fighting skills, but it doesn’t mean Gon is a monster, was malicious towards Killua or wanted to break his heart. I don’t even think he would reject Killua, but would explain the reason behind his decision in a reassuring way.

And finally, it’s so symbolic how Gotoh died and got replaced by a Kiriko - the same creature that translates Gon’s perceptiveness and how the boys are close. This way, they are still linked by Gotoh’s words through someone that mimics Gotoh’s appearance and also understands their relationship like the long gone butler. His words will never die.

And not to mention... how shoujo and romantic it is that Gon remembers the promise he made to Gotoh before he takes Killua with him? It is almost like a marriage proposal. That he didn’t forget, not even after all this time. 

Do I think he would’ve change his mind on letting Killua fight? Not at all, and Killua couldn’t change his mind even if he begged, at least not without some patient mental work. This is Gon’s mindset on protecting someone. But like that time in Greed Island, under normal circumstances, Gon would’ve ease Killua’s worries directly or indirectly after some talking. And of course, it is not his job to guess Killua’s feelings, communication must be a two-way path. Killua waited for too long, and at that point, Gon was too lost in his grief and wasn’t able to measure his words. But I truly believe that, deep inside his mind, those words and that promise were still there, waiting to resonate if necessary.

And as @gallyl​ added so perfectly: Killua is alive and well, grieving on the hospital’s bench, trying to get a grip of everything he just experienced. Decided to give Gon a second chance, he’s now able to understand this message of love Gon has left for him: there’s so much he can do in life, that Gon simply doesn’t want him to die because Killua’s whole life was surrounded by death - and Killua’s greatest wish was to live like a normal kid. And this speaks louder to Gon than having Killua to himself in death. A love that is not selfish, and does not envy. Killua’s life is validated, and in return, he saves Gon and his sister, the ones he loves the most, and validate back their right to exist, to grow, to try again. Unconditional love. At first, he’s hurt and demands an apology. But it’s Alluka who reminds him of how love must be free to give and to receive - he should let his heart open for whenever Gon is ready to reach him again.

But now, the apology will matter. 

And this is absurdly romantic. Not every sacrifice ends up in dying together to prove a relationship. They’ve made promises similar to marital vows, and not everything happened like they wanted, but they made clear to us that they’re not done with each other - as they refuse to say goodbye, and keep grammatical constructions like “for a while”, indicating a break, an interlude. 

Their song is still playing, and their promises still exist as their split was never mentioned as something definitive, because preventing the other one to get physically hurt on your behalf and taking some time to think before you take the risk to accidentally emotionally hurt them too are both ways to show protection. Ways that they’re learning now, two boys who think they should get hurt to love and be loved. 

[cali-holland]

Sweet as Sugar- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: Tom’s on a strict diet to bulk up, meaning he can’t have sweets… but you keep baking too many desserts for just you and your housemate, so you decide to share with him, your neighbor.

Word Count: 3100

Warnings: low key body positivity issues on tom’s end i mean tom’s on a bulking diet so idk, does that count?? , mentions of sex, maybe swearing

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

A/N: i got an ask yesterday that kinda pushed me into completing this fic, so here it is :) enjoy me actually finishing something for once

~~~

“Why do we have baby food in the fridge?” Harry asked, holding up a suspicious looking bottle of yellow slosh.

“That’s my lunch.” Tom grumbled as he came into the kitchen, taking the bottle from his brother. Harry just shrugged and moved along to get his own lunch out, which was leftover nachos from last night.

“Ah, it’s that time of year again.” Harrison laughed when he noticed Tom’s scrunched up nose, trying to drink his protein shake without having it touch his tongue.

“Oh yeah,” Harry chuckled, “You have to bulk up.”

“The rest of the diet is fine. I can handle the cut back on sweets and carbs, but this shit?” Tom held up the yellow drink in his hands, “I hate it.”

“You have fun with that while we enjoy these.” His brother teasingly held up the nachos that Tom desperately wanted to eat, but he knew couldn’t. Instead, he took a drink out of his shake, physically restraining himself from gagging on the flavor. It wasn’t like he could add anything to it to make it taste better; his trainer had a very strict meal plan for him for the next several weeks, and that was accompanied by a very strict exercise routine. He just had to suck it up— literally.

Meanwhile, you let out a sigh as you stood in your kitchen, looking at the two dozen cupcakes you just made. Of course your cousin would cancel her baby shower that you were catering with desserts after you made said desserts. You only had one housemate, and there was no way that the two of you could eat all of them before they go stale.

“Oh no, are they the wrong color?” Your roommate asked, stepping into the kitchen once she saw the frustrated look on your face.

“I just spent hours making these vanilla cupcakes and now the shower’s been canceled. I don’t know what to do with all these cupcakes now.” You explained as you leaned on the counter, eyeing the now unnecessary cupcakes.

“Too many cupcakes— I never thought we’d have that problem.” She laughed. “Why don’t you give them to Tom?”

“Our neighbor?” You looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“I mean, unless you’re into another guy living in that house, but as I recall, Tom’s the only one you can’t talk to.” She said as she picked up a cupcake for herself, “Whoever you give them to, save us a few. I love your baking.”

“There’s no way I’m doing that.” You shook your head at her.

“Come on, this is the perfect excuse to talk to him.” She encouraged you through a mouthful of blue vanilla cupcake.

“No, I can’t just give him cupcakes randomly.”

“Sure you can! The way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.” She teased. “Look at the guys that live in that house; they can definitely eat two dozen cupcakes before they go stale. You know I’m right.”

“I hate you sometimes.” You grumbled, taking off your apron and putting the cupcakes into your carrier, specially designed for keeping them stable for traveling.

As your housemate continued to eat her cupcake in pure bliss, you made your way to the house next door with your cupcakes in hand. You felt like it was a stupid idea, but you couldn’t let the cupcakes go to waste. With a small sigh, you knocked on your neighbor’s door, hoping that anyone would answer it besides- well, besides Tom, but by the time you thought that, he already had the door open.

The moment you looked into his chocolate brown eyes, you froze, completely blanking on the reason why you’re there. It wasn’t the “you’re a celebrity” shock; it was the “you’re my super attractive neighbor and you’re really nice and you work out in front of your house sometimes and it kills me” shock. Luckily, he was kind enough to save you from furthering your own embarrassment.

“Are those cupcakes?” He asked curiously as he looked down at the container in your hands.

“Oh, um, yeah,” You answered. “I made these cupcakes for my cousin’s baby shower and it got canceled, so now I have 20 cupcakes, and I thought maybe you’d like them? You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, and I realize now that this is incredibly weird and random, but I swear I haven’t poisoned them or anything.”

Tom laughed, nodding his head, “Poisoned or not, I’ll take them. I’m sure they’re fantastic anyway.”

“Thank you.” You handed him the container, and he immediately opened it up, reaching for one. You saw the smile drop from his face as he slowly retracted his hand.

“Sorry, I-“ He paused, clearing his throat. “I’m about to have lunch so I shouldn’t spoil it. I’ll definitely have one later though.” And just like that, the smile was back on his face.

“No worries.” You smiled.

“Well, thank you, Y/N.” Tom smiled, and you felt your heart flutter. You didn’t know he knew your name; you hadn’t spoken in the three months you lived next door to him (unless you count his football landing in your backyard and you throwing it back over the fence for him).

Without another word, you turned around and darted back into the safety of your house. Tom stayed on his doorstep, watching your retreating figure in confusion. As he stepped back inside his house, he let out a sigh, looking down at the cupcakes in his hands.

“Who was that?” Harry asked through a mouthful of nachos.

“Y/N from next door.” Tom replied, trying his best to hide the small blush on his cheeks at the thought of the random encounter.

“The cute one that doesn’t talk to you?” Harrison inquired, and Tom was quick to send him a glare.

“She gave us cupcakes.” He put the container on the counter as a way to wordlessly let his housemates have at them.

“Marry her.” Harry stated, nachos abandoned for a sweet cupcake. Harrison barely even chewed the first one, making his way to a second.

“It’s just cupcakes.” Tom tried to play it off.

“Uhuh, just cupcakes.” His younger brother nudged him teasingly.

“Stop pouting and go back to your protein shake.” Harrison joked. Grumbling incoherently, Tom did just that— he went back to his protein shake and continued the art of keeping the disgusting taste from touching his tongue.

A few days later, the cupcakes were cleared from the container, eaten and enjoyed by everyone except for Tom (even Tessa got some because Paddy dropped crumbs on the floor when they came over). With your cleaned container in hand, Tom made his way over to your house next door. He nervously smoothed out his t-shirt one last time before knocking on your door.

“Coming!” He heard you call from inside. A couple moments later, you opened up the door in surprise.

“Oh, Tom.” You said quietly, feeling insecure as you looked down at your messy apron.

“Are you baking more food?” He asked, his signature smile on his face.

“Technically not right now. I’m filling eclairs.” You replied, and his eyes went wide in surprise.

“Wow, you really know your way around the kitchen.” Tom admired, making your cheeks heat up.

“Do you- do you mind helping me for a minute? I’m having issues piping.” You sheepishly admitted. You fully expected him to say no, come up with some half-ass excuse about how he was busy, but then he surprised you with a nod.

“Of course, I’ll help.”

You stepped aside and let him inside. Leading him back into the kitchen, you asked, “How’d you like the cupcakes?”

“Oh, they were great. Really good, thank you.” He didn’t hesitate to compliment the sweet that he’d never tasted. Considering how much his friends and family loved your cupcakes though, he could only assume they were the best. He thought maybe you caught his lie, but then you just got straight to work at your eclair-covered counter. Tom set the container aside on an empty counter and quickly washed his hands.

“They keep losing their shape as I pipe them, so can you just hold them upside?” You asked, holding up a bare eclair. Tom held it as instructed and you got your piping bag together. He watched as you concentrated on filling the treat, your eyebrows furrowed together and your teeth sinking into your teeth a little. He felt his stomach begin to grumble from the intoxicating smell of your kitchen. It seemed like you had everything he couldn’t eat, just out on your counter.

“Are you hungry?” You spoke up, a few eclairs later when Tom’s stomach groaned loudly.

“Oh, no, I’m fine.” He insisted. Looking at the eclairs on the counter, he knew you’d offer him one without a second thought, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight off the urge to break his stupid diet.

He continued to focus on you as you focused on the eclairs. With all but a few pastries filled, you grabbed another empty one. You let out a frustrated huff as your piping bag struggled to cooperate with the pastry.

“Get in there.” You grumbled, annoyed at the difficult eclair.

“Too tight?” Tom asked.

“No, it’s just-“ You trailed off as you finally got it to work. You smiled proudly, happy that it was finally working right.

“Am I about to walk in on kitchen sex or can I come in?” You heard your housemate jokingly call out from the hallway. While you froze up in embarrassment, Tom shook with laughter. She walked into the kitchen with a smirk on her face, sending you a very obvious wink that Tom completely saw.

“You’re the worst.” You muttered, moving on to the next eclair.

“So you two just, uh, filling eclairs?” Your housemate asked, grabbing one of the filled pastries and taking a bite out of it.

“Yes, it’s a very important two person job.” Tom chuckled, and she nodded.

“Y/N, how the fuck are you so good at this?” She turned to you, taking another bite of her food. “Oh my god, Tom, you have to try these eclairs.”

“I’m good, don’t want to eat Y/N’s food.” He answered, but his stomach betrayed him with another growl.

“You seem really hungry. Are you sure you don’t want any?” You inquired, and Tom shook his head politely.

“It’s okay, really.”

“Do you want to take some home? For you and your housemates? I’ve made too many again.” You offered, making him laugh.

“You have that problem a lot, don’t you?” He teased. You playfully rolled your eyes at him as you finished the last eclair. Grabbing the container from the other counter, you began to reload it with eclairs.

“Here you go.” You smiled, holding it out to Tom.

“Thank you. I should probably get going.” He trailed off a little, sounding a bit disappointed.

“Let me know how they are.” You bid him one last farewell before he left.

When he returned home a whole minute later, he set the container full of fresh eclairs on the kitchen counter and immediately went in search for his scheduled snack, which was simply just an apple, but, compared to the eclairs he just helped make, an apple never seemed so disappointing.

“More free dessert?” Harry asked, eyes lighting up when he spotted the familiar container.

“They’re eclairs today.” Tom replied.

“On a scale of one to ten, how much does this suck?” He teased, taking a massive bite from the eclair. Tom glared at his brother before leaving the room to enjoy his apple in an eclair (and Harry) free zone.

This all became a routine between you and Tom. He’d bring you back your container after a few days and you’d fill it up (or switch it out) with more freshly made treats. Tom had to just sit back and watch everyone around him enjoy your pies, brownies, cookies, tarts, even croissants. You even made a cake and he had to bring it to a family birthday party. The more time he spent with you though, the more he found himself really liking you— but there was also the catch that the more time he spent with you, the more he struggled to maintain his diet. He almost snuck a cookie when no one was around but then he remembered the last time he broke his diet and shuddered at the thought of it.

One day, a few weeks later, Tom heard the familiar sound of your special knock on his front door. Confused because you’d given him fudge just yesterday, he opened the door.

“I got locked out.” You said as soon as he opened the door. As if you didn’t feel awkward enough around him before, now you’re really asking him for a big favor. “If it’s not overstepping, could I stay here? My housemate should be back in a bit and she has her key.”

“Come on in.” Tom stepped aside for you to come into his house. You had never actually been inside it before, and it seemed to be just as homey as yours, but with a tad more frat boy mess in it, complete with video games stashed on the shelves of the entertainment center and random beer bottles in the house.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to clean up.” He apologized, rushing to grab the empty bottles to recycle them. You just laughed in response, still taking in the home, “Do you want water or anything?”

“Water would be great, thank you.” You replied. You followed Tom into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as you waited for your water. “I’m thinking of making these cookie bar things. Are any of you allergic to nuts?”

“No food allergies here.” Tom answered with a laugh, passing you the cup filled with water. You spotted the half eaten block of fudge on his counter and smiled.

“How’s the fudge?” You asked before taking a sip of your water.

“It’s the best. Truly the best I’ve ever had.” He stated definitively.

And it happened to be at that moment that Harry came into the room, scouting for more fudge. As he picked up a piece, he realized that you and Tom were in the room, “Thank you, Y/N, for all of the food.”

“It’s no problem. I enjoy sharing it.” You smiled kindly at him.

“Too bad you can’t have any.” He teased his older brother before shoving the large piece of fudge into his mouth. As Harry left the room, Tom went red in embarrassment.

“Best fudge you’ve ever had, huh?” You asked, crossing your arms defensively.

“It’s not that I don’t like fudge— I love fudge—“

“But you don’t like mine?” You weren’t sure why you were so upset over it, but maybe it was the fact that you thought he truly enjoyed your desserts. “Did you eat any of it?”

“No.” Tom answered honestly, defeat present on his face as he hung his head in shame.

“Then why did you lie about it?” You stated, unwavering in the hurt look in your features.

Tom mumbled something, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him, unable to understand a word he said. A little bit louder, he spoke up again, “I’m on a bulking diet and I can’t have sugar, but you were really happy giving me things and— and it gave me a good excuse to actually talk to you.”

With a sheepish smile on his face, he finally looked up at you. You paused, processing his words before finding your own voice, “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, I’m kinda really into you.” He said. “I was going to ask you out on a date, but, uh, I can understand if you don’t—”

“I’d love to.” You cut him off quickly, not giving yourself the chance to think about your response. Tom’s eyes lit up, hopefully.

“Really?”

“Really.” You nodded. Before you could say anything further, your phone began to ring and you looked down; it was your housemate, meaning she was home now and could let you in. “I should get going.”

“Does tomorrow work? I could pick you up at 7?” Tom offered, and you smiled as the two of you made your way to his front door.

“7 sounds great. I’ll see you then.” You said, stepping out onto his porch. “Thank you, again.”

“Anytime.” He answered with a grin. Knowing he’d watch you as you walked home, you had to maintain yourself from skipping a little in happiness.

Even with your big date tomorrow though, you still barely slept, spending all night searching through fitness sites for new recipes. That night, right as the clock struck 7, you heard a knock on your door. Eagerly, you grabbed a new container full of your latest bake and opened your door.

“Before we leave, can you try this?” You asked, handing Tom the container. He looked at the appetizing bars questioningly. 

“Is this a test? I can’t have—” Tom started, but you cut him off, shaking your head.

“They’re not sweets. They’re protein bars.” You explained. “I found a recipe last night. It’s peanut butter and rice protein.”

“You made me protein bars?” His voice almost broke as he looked at you in disbelief.

“Well, yeah, I feel bad for giving you so many things you couldn’t eat, so I wanted to do something for you.” You could barely get your words out before he was unceremoniously stuffing a protein bar in his mouth. He knew he had a routine that he was supposed to follow but, hey, at least this was filled with protein.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been dying to try your baking, and these are so good.” Tom sighed in relief with a clear mouth.

“So I’ll keep that recipe then.” You laughed. You stepped out of your house and closed the door behind you.

“I should drop these off. One moment.” He jogged back over to his house and threw the door open.

“These are mine! No eating them!” He shouted to his nosy housemates, putting the container of protein bars on the side table.

“Marry her!” Harry and Harrison both called back out to him as he shut the door. With a twinge of embarrassment from you hearing their words, Tom turned back to you.

“Ready?”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex​ @theamazingtomholland​  @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart​ @joyleenl​ @t-o-m-holland​ @lonikje​ @sleepybesson​  @sunkisseddreamer​ @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @gorrillaglue13 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys

Tom Tag List:@quaksonhehe​ @tomkindholland

[jostepherjoestar]

👑Hewwu Queen 👑 is it alright if I request DIO in part 3 meeting his descendant?. Like he basically had a kid accidentally in part 1 and now he’s meeting their great grandkid who looks allot like him and seems to not be fully human. Maybe he meets them at night since their family was traveling around the world and stopped off in Egypt where he found them maybe listening to music?

Since you write for DIO, is it alright if I request that he somehow meets one of his kid after they get into some time travel shenanigans. Maybe his kid has a stand that is kinda similar to his but they aren’t confident in using it

DIO aiding his helpless descendant 

sfw / gn reader 

notes/warnings: implied assault (on your great-great grandmother)

Another case of two anons thinking alike!! It was really fun to think about this and sorry for taking so much time to get to it :o I hope you’ll still enjoy 💖✨also the pacing is strange/fast (to me), but i felt it fit with how frantic i imagine meeting Dio is

Somewhere between irking Jonathan and wishing to destroy any respectful sliver of the Joestar bloodline, Dio had his own way of indulging and spending his time. Men, women; any creature he could manipulate to his will and suck the life out of to join his dark army was welcome in his dimly lit hideout to meet their fate. The self proclaimed god that had surmounted humanity took pleasure in playing with his food; leaving them in complete darkness, literally. He’d let them suffer in silence, hearing them whimper and regret their choice to ever step foot inside the wicked monster’s palace. But it was always too late.

Except for the very night Jonathan had decided to come spoil the fun and ruin Dio’s playtime. The woman hadn’t meant anything to him, just a toy to play with and to later discard on the pile of other bodies strewn about. Was she glad to have been saved by the burly Joestar? At first yes; brought back to her senses, out of that monster’s grasp but left terribly violated. Left to carry and care for the offspring Dio would never know or care about, too busy being left to slumber in the ocean and gaining a new form from his hated ‘brother’.

Dio rose again, skulking in the shadows of dimly lit cities, looking for any and all petty humans and stand users to claim for his side. It took time and patience he didn’t know he possessed to get fully comfortable in his new body. There was always this inkling, a nagging sonar that kept getting louder and louder, not much unlike his connection to the new generation of Joestars. It grasped at his thoughts, kept him from any semblance of peace of mind -as much as he could acquire it- and there seemed to be no way of silencing it. He couldn’t see a clear picture; it was just nothing but an annoying sense of something being near.

He had searched for weeks like a bloodhound hot on a trail, irritated that he of all people, nay creations, was being made to follow and be obedient to the terrible nagging. It angered him greatly and only when he found a mere youngster sitting on a bench, you, a simple looking human, did it boil over. Sat with your walkman resting next to you on the wooden seating, head bopping along to your newest cassette in the middle of the night. Completely lost in the song you’d been drumming along to with your fingers. Dio was furious but knew better than to strike before investigating, he needed answers and he needed them now.

As he got closer to you, sneaking from behind, he noticed an immediate shift. You were no longer alone. An image, a blur that became clearer and steadier and more live-like as each second passed; posing defensively, staring down Dio with a fire in your eyes not much unlike the tall blonde’s. Not for a moment does he fear for his safety. Even though The World is a newly acquired power it could easily wipe out a scrawny kid without even hitching a breath. He smirks, eyes cast over in shadow by the dim street light as he hears you pause your cassette player.

“Oh? Was I disturbing you?’ he mocks in a smirk, catching the way your eyes glint and the vaguely familiar image you awaken in him. Just like before he’s left to figure out who this annoying hazy memory is. His voice shivers down your very being, goosebumps taking over your skin; not sure if you had already missed your chance to run. It was like his glare fixated you in place, finger still resting on the pause button of your player while the other reached up to remove the flimsy headphones.

“You…” you barely get out the word. The accusatory tone you had tried to convey had watered down to a whimper. You had felt the connection too, something nagging at your soul and stringing you along until you’d finally found the source. “Me? Hah! No, you.” Dio slid closer, his steps so quiet and calculated that even though you couldn’t take your eyes off of him you swore it seemed like he floated. You swallowed thickly, the huge figure that excluded an aura so menacing only a meter away from you.

“So. Who are you and why was it so disgustingly annoying to find you?” he joked impertinently, amused by the way you clenched your jaw at his remark. “I could ask you the same.” a brave little spark still smouldering inside. “DIO. Now don’t make me ask again, you’re making me dreadfully inpatient.” He hadn’t felt the need to kill you, at least not yet. Dio was truly curious about your answer but by the looks of it you really didn’t seem to know all that much.

You begrudgingly gave him your name, in need of some answers yourself. The sound of your name didn’t ring a single bell, not a tick, not a clank. Nothing. Not a single step further to knowing anything. “Well it seems like you do have a stand. Maybe you possess a great power that might be useful to me.” that wicked grin on his face told you a little too much of his motivations. He reminded you of those Saturday morning cartoon villains. But still you felt compelled to listen, ignoring every single red flag.  

Deciding to humour him you give out your stand’s name. “Trust me, we can’t really do much.” you huffed. You’ve only obtained your stand recently and honestly, it has been pretty shitty so far. You didn’t know exactly what it could do, it was just there. Any time you felt stressed or in danger it did come to your aid but it remained awfully docile. Their presence comforted you but you just knew it was capable of so much more.

“Are you a vampire?” The sudden question came out more surprised than Dio had hoped to let on. He regained his posture, opting to slide next to you on the bench with a swift move. There was something… off about the way you carried yourself that reminded him of himself and the other vampires he’d created. The question stunned you, your eyes that had already been widened in shock only growing more so. The way he had changed the entire conversation that had barely earned its start urged you to think quickly. “I don’t know.” you mumbled demurely. You really didn’t know. So many weird things had been happening to you lately that you being a vampire would explain a lot.

Your answer seemed to change the imposing man’s gaze and expression. It hardened a bit, his grin now slowly diminishing into a straighter line and his pointed brows resting down at a more natural angle. Even in this low light his image felt so familiar, like you were already supposed to know who he was but the memory remained hidden. Locked away for your safety. “You should feed. And don’t go out in daylight anymore.” Dio paused for a second. “Strange...” He pondered to himself out loud. He’s only seen a few cases like this, vampiric genes passed down through generations. For some reason he pitied you, as much as he could muster it. The unknown bond you shared felt too unusual to write off.

“What am I supposed to do?” you felt tears prick your eyes, trying your best to remain strong but you’ve been so tired. You couldn't confide in anyone, not about this. Tears started rolling, falling in thick streams down your cheeks and dropping onto your lap. Here you were, crying to a stranger named Dio about being a vampire and having weird powers. A bizarre twist of fate.

“First of all, stop crying. Then, widen your stance when you’re about to fight someone. I could have easily knocked you down with that flimsy imitation. Fix your posture while you’re at it. Call out your stand again.” He rattled off his demands quickly and flatly. Was he helping you? They were barbed complaints but it seemed like he actually wanted to aid you in whatever it was you were going through. You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks. You felt like a kid again; asking your parent for any reassurance when life knocked you down.

Dio actually offered a lot of viable advice, telling you about techniques to silence your steps, how to take someone down easily, to feed on humans within an inch of their life. You had asked him, just in case. You weren’t planning on killing anyone; a comment which made him scoff. That intimidating impression and overall feeling of having to bend to his will had lessened the more you talked to the blonde. He casually sat with you for what felt like hours. He hadn’t divulged into his own history, instead asking you about yours. He was still trying to figure out what this weird pull was.

“No one in your family has experienced anything like this before? Hmph. It seems to have skipped multiple generations then.” he was asking about your great grandmother and all the others that came before you. It could have occurred to them but you would have never known. “My family did come from England, though. My great-great grandmother fled in a hurry. We don’t really know why, Windknight’s Lot seems like an unusual place to frantically run from.” As soon as the small town’s name left your lips everything fell into place for Dio. His grin grew again, satisfied to finally know your connection to him.

Family.

One he made for himself, by accident, by a relation created on his own devious whim. Not that horrible Joestar bunch that kept ruining his fun or his horrible father that was but a faint minuscule memory. Something he did. It brought him even more satisfaction to know how perfectly in place it felt for you to be the one to develop these powers at the perfect time. His mind could have exploded with possibilities; a thousand ways to make you join his side. But it didn’t, he wasn’t sure that’s what he wanted yet. And he surely wasn’t going to tell you of your bond either, lest you get attached too quickly.

As you finished up and the early signs of a rising sun were starting to make itself known on the horizon, you were saying your goodbye’s. “Thank you for helping me. Truly, I- I don’t know how I-” you weren’t allowed to finish your earnest thanks. Dio knew you meant it, one of the only few truly grateful acknowledgements he’s ever received. “I’ll be taking over the world in a few months. If you feel so inclined to join, you know where to find me.” His lips curled into a smirk and he was making his move to leave you behind, alone on the bench again. Left to scramble for your stuff to try and stop him but he was already out of sight. “WAIT! I don’t know where to find you! You never told me!” you yelled into the empty streets, heart thumping out of your chest, hoping this wasn’t just a very elaborate dream you were caught in.

“Trust your instincts.” The voice felt incredibly close but so far away, like catching a falling snowflake; as soon as you grasped it, it just melted away.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 24)

Hello, friends. The story is rapidly approaching an end. I imagine I'll only be posting for another couple weeks (maybe three at the most) before this essay draws to a close.

Last night we wrapped up the Time Travel Arc. Now we return to the larger parent arc, the Escape Arc. Mikan has made up her mind to escape the school with her mother, and although this breaks Natsume's heart, he'll do all he can to get her out safely without at all complaining. If she's leaving for good, then the only thing that matters to him for the next little bit is keeping her as safe as possible. After that, he's resigned himself to a lonely and imminent death... And then Mikan has an epiphany.

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Four

They’re finally all back in the present. The room they left is now empty, and they wonder what happened. Undoubtedly the situation is more pressing than ever.

Mikan is concerned about everyone’s safety, but Natsume makes it clear that the priority is making sure she can make it out of the academy with her mother. If she’s going to leave, then he will do everything he can to make sure the process goes as smoothly and safely for her as possible. Her concerns about everyone else have no place here when everyone’s dreams and futures are threatened by the ESP if he ever gets his hands on Mikan’s alices. Besides, his happiness and safety always come dead last to him. He’d act and speak this way, even if it was only Mikan’s well-being on the line.

He will protect her no matter what happens, he says. That’s his priority. This is no different than the way he’s been living for the last year or so.

Yeah, there's the whole thing with the school and protecting the student body and stopping the ESP but Mikan is his priority always.

Everyone else agrees, and Mikan is outvoted. She comes first now.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven

Mikan and her friends run into a horde of students, either controlled by Luna’s alice or afraid that they’ll end up being controlled or punished. They all move to attack Mikan in particular, to capture her because maybe they’ll even be rewarded for it.

This is a mistake, because Natsume will not allow anything to happen to her. He uses his alice to fend off the students, but his fire takes a strange shape, unlike anything he’s ever made before. His ability to manipulate the shape better than ever is a result of the stone Mikan inserted into him, which Tsubasa theorizes is psychokinesis.

Ruka pleads with him to stop, concerned about Natsume’s health the more he uses his alice. He immediately stops on the behest of his best friend, but then he uses his new alice to pull everyone over closer to him. Mikan specifically flies into his arms, where he wanted her. He’s able to catch her, whereas the others land on their heads. Now that they’re safer, he tells her to teleport them.

Who cares where the rest of them land? They can deal with it on their own.

Tsubasa comments that this extra power makes Natsume feel like more of a man, more powerful. This isn’t a farfetched theory. We know how much Natsume wants to grow up, to have power. Now that he has this extra alice, he’s more useful than he already was, and that naturally translates into some extra confidence.

Another thing is that Natsume is putting his all into getting Mikan out safe. He’s willing to expend all his energy and alice in order to accomplish his goal. Adding on to that, he knows he won’t see her again after this. He can hold on for a little longer, but to survive the unknowable amount of years before he can see her again? Unlikely. He doubted he’d even be able to graduate, let alone be on standby for possibly a decade and maybe even more. He has no reason to believe he’ll make it. So he keeps her close now. He’ll be right by her side ‘til the very end, take advantage of every touch and interaction he can. So even if everyone else collapses onto the ground after he uses his extra alice, Mikan will land safely in his arms.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine

Natsume may have spared Nobara earlier, but he still doesn’t really trust her. She’s been acting weird this whole time and he’s suspicious. When they have a moment, he confronts her, warning her that if she sells them out to Persona, he won’t go easy on her. After all, to him, she’s still the girl who’s always been Persona’s little pet.

But Nobara doesn’t want to sell them out. She wants to stop Persona and her DA friends from hurting the cause and themselves. She wants to stop them so they don’t become a part of the fight.

She stands back so she doesn’t teleport again with the rest of them. She wants to do this for Mikan.

Mikan doesn’t understand. She’s concerned that she left Nobara behind, so she says she’ll go back to get her, but Natsume stops her. She needs to allow Nobara to make her own choice. Even if Mikan doesn’t get it, the only thing that matters is their original mission. Nothing will change that. He won’t be strayed from it, no matter what obstacles come their way. Nobara made the choice, and she’s the best person to confront the DA class. The rest of them should allow her to do as she wants.

They move forward, and Natsume keeps back when he feels his coughing fit coming on. Now that everything is dire, he definitely doesn’t want to slow things down by worrying people with his body. He worries that he won’t be able to properly protect Mikan, considering the shape he’s in, but he would never say that out loud.

Death creeps ever closer... Why isn't he ever concerned for himself?

Even more, Nobara stressed before she left that Natsume was the most important person to stay by Mikan's side, that he should protect her to the end. Though he wouldn't be so bold to say that about himself, he wants to stay 'til the end. But the fact that he might die at any moment doesn't reassure him. However, any insecurities or fears he has must stay in his mind. He wants to be strong for Mikan, to accomplish their goal and keep her safe. He’s pushed any and all feelings of his own out the window. All that matters is their goal.

He can die afterwards.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four

Mikan needs to go to her mother. She and Ruka are to teleport to Yuka, since Ruka has the barrier alice and he can keep her safe. The rest of them are going to hold off the Fuukitai and other enemies. There’s really no time for heartfelt goodbyes. Natsume might never see Mikan again, but he turns away because there’s no time for anything else. He will fight off the enemies to keep her safe. That’s what he can do. Anything else will just waste precious time.

Except that Mikan has the telepathy alice now. She’s mostly kept it a secret, sharing it with Hotaru and nobody else.

Natsume can stay silent all he wants, but his heart and mind are racing with thoughts and feelings. She couldn’t ignore it if she wanted to. It’s not the time to be lollygagging. She has to get going, and everyone is urging her to move on and teleport with Ruka, but she’s hesitating.

And then Natsume hears it too. She’s saying it back, telepathically, that she loves him too.

Terrible timing, Mikan. You had all night to say it back! (joking)

It’s all he’s never allowed himself to want to hear. Something that would only happen in a delusional fantasy world. Mikan may care about him, to some degree, but he’d never expected she would love him back. She should love Ruka, who is kind and polite, or literally anybody else. He’s always had to push her away, and even if she saw through his insults to see what he really meant, he still wouldn’t be good enough. He can’t be with her, because his life is running out. He shouldn’t be with her, because all he will do is cause her more pain. He’ll never be with her, because he doesn’t deserve to be. He won’t be with her, because she’s running away with her mother and he’ll never see her again.

But she loves him too anyway.

Despite every insult and attempt to keep his distance. Despite their beginnings of mutual disdain. Despite how he’s said he hated everything about her, about how he wanted her out of his sight. Despite acting like she was a pest and nothing more than an annoyance. Despite everything he did, she somehow still loves him.

It’s the worst thing to ever happen to him, to stand there and hear her saying that in his mind and then watch her disappear forever.

He’s said it out loud only one time. He confessed with his kiss at Christmas, with his alice stone, with the borrowing race, with his speech to the ESP. He’s confessed with every time he got in front of her to protect her, with every cruel word forced out of him by the higher ups, with every smile he had just for her.

Now she finally said it back and it’s too late for anything. He can’t kiss her and show her how much he means it, how much it isn’t just hype over nothing. He can’t tell her he loves her to her face and with his whole chest. He can’t take her by the hand and run away with her. He can’t live happily ever after with her.

That was all okay before, when it was just him who was suffering. So his life would be lonely and short. Okay. Who cares? But now he knows she wants all that too.

He’s miserable. He calls out to her but it’s too late. She’s gone now and all he can do is fight the enemies who want to threaten her security.

Natsume has been left behind with Tono and Tsubasa to fight as hard as they can against the Fuukitai. When they finally get away for a moment, Tono tells them to fight for the girls they love. Tsubasa and Natsume both berate him for this, because who was he talking about? Tono argues it wasn’t about him; he was just trying to cheer the two up after they had to break apart from their girls.

Natsume is clearly in emotional turmoil, but he frequently is, so he doesn’t let it show a lot. He may threaten Tono with his alice or tease him with Tsubasa like all is normal, but it’s not. His current circumstances couldn’t be any worse unless Mikan were in danger, and he’s doing everything he can to keep that from happening.

Tono finally admits that he’s been nervous this whole time because Noda is probably the traitor among them, but Natsume realizes the truth: It’s Goshima.

Tsubasa and Tono are going to try and find Goshima, who has the key Yuka and Mikan need to escape. They also need someone to go and tell them that Goshima can’t be trusted, and Tono wants Natsume to do it.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five

Tono is urging Natsume to go and tell Mikan about Goshima, to go protect her. Naturally, he doesn’t hesitate before taking off. Any excuse to see her again and keep her safe is enough for him.

Tsubasa doesn’t understand why Tono sent him off, though, since Natsume is in such bad shape. Having him run and exert himself further seems wrong.

I just want him to be happy. Is that really so much to ask?

Tono puts it all into perspective. It had to be Natsume. The kid was in a state of absolute misery, even knowing his love is requited and perhaps because of it. He can never see Mikan again. His life will end. The rest of them can talk about decades and decades into the future and still be sure that they will meet Mikan again, but it’s clear that Natsume won’t make it that far. As Tono puts it, it’s important that Natsume has a chance to see her for the last time, to say good-bye properly.

Natsume would go to her no matter what, too, and he does, running with all his might to find her, even though he’s coughing and his body is breaking.

He will use his alice and do anything he can to find her and tell her and keep her safe, and they finally meet again.

He’s standing over the bodies of enemies that he’s just defeated for her, and he finally has a chance to say the good-bye he thought he’d never get.

There are other things that need to be said, but he might not have a chance to say his feelings again if he doesn’t take the opportunity now. He’s sad, because no matter what, their story will end soon. But this is more than he could’ve asked for.

But all of the words that should come out of his mouth don’t. He doesn’t talk about the traitor. He doesn’t tell her he loves her to her face. He doesn’t say anything except her name. None of the feelings he has can be put into words. For the moment he’s speechless.

She is too. She rushes into his arms and they share a quick second of holding each other before they inevitably part forever. The fact that she hugs him might have reminded him that she loves him too. Then again, how could he forget? Either way, he finds the words that were lost to him before.

He’s going to stay with her until the very last second. He won’t leave her or part from her for even a moment again until they have to say good-bye for good.

No, they won't last. She'll leave and he'll die, but they have this moment, even if it's the only thing they'll ever have.

No, he doesn’t mention the traitor even though he was sent to. Natsume very rarely talks about his feelings, but they felt so important this time that he had to say them out loud.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six

Even though Natsume didn’t say it to Mikan, Shiki got the information from him via telepathy and then conveyed the information to Yuka.

Now that Yuka and Mikan are reunited, they can all go to see them off, fighting Fuukitai and Luna along the way. Narumi and Mikan are trapped in an enemy’s ice alice for a moment, until Natsume melts the ice and takes Mikan’s hand. He wasn’t joking about staying by her side until the very end.

Until the very last moment.

Sure, she needed to reunite with her mother and Narumi, but they’ll be spending forever with her after this night. He only has these next few minutes. He’ll be the one to take her by the hand until he has no choice but to let go. Until then, he will stay by her side.

Lucky for them, Yuka’s plan to wait until the last moment for the key so they can leave with Naru panned out. “Tsubasa” arrives with the key and hands it off. There’s no time to waste; Yuka rushes to open the warp-hole but all that comes from it is an explosion.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven

Yuka and Narumi were caught in the blast. Yuka shielded Narumi with her body and took the brunt of the hit. She’s now in critical condition.

No hesitation. That's his only keepsake from his mother, his only reprieve from endless pain, but he'll give it Yuka because he can't not give it to her.

Natsume doesn’t hesitate, and he gives Mikan the healing alice stone that his mother got from Yuka. Yuka is Mikan’s mother. Her death would be crushing for Mikan, who’s already had to face so much trauma from watching her father die too. This all was about getting Mikan and Yuka out safely, and all that effort would be in vain if Yuka dies. And after Natsume has seen everything that happened in the past, he respects Yuka too. All Yuka has ever done is suffer, just like he has. To simply die after all that--he doesn’t want that either. Yuka gave his mother that alice stone, something that brought him a little reprieve whenever he had a coughing fit or felt ill. The least he can do now is give it back.

But it doesn’t work. It’s not enough. Yuka has enough time before her death to hug Mikan and apologize to Luna, but then her heart stops.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight

The ESP arrives to break the period of mourning. Luna can’t believe that he would orchestrate this, but it’s not much of a surprise to anyone else. The “Tsubasa” decoy reveals himself to be Goshima, who holds Mikan by the wrists. The ESP only needed one person with the stealing alice. Yuka had become extendable, so he eliminated her.

Goshima goes to surrender Mikan to the ESP, but she fights, and Natsume moves to fight too, because that’s his girlfriend and he promised he would keep her safe. But the ESP always has the barrier alice cast on him, always protected, even from Natsume’s strong alice. Even Natsume can’t help Mikan now.

But Shiki breaks the ESP’s barrier and Mikan rushes to her friends’ side.

Z is invading the school and threatening to take the students captive. The MSP needs her successor, Shiki to be appointed so that he can protect the school with his barrier alice. The ESP is in a bind. Shiki can either run away with Mikan as Yuka had intended to, or he will agree to stay and act as the MSP to protect the school.

Conclusion

God this arc is a mess when all you want are the NM moments. How dare they be so scattered! Anyways, Natsume now knows that Mikan loves him too, romantically, but everything has been upside down for a while, specifically tonight, so the future doesn't look bright. In the next part, we'll talk about how Natsume feels about being separated from Mikan when she's locked away.

Sorry this is late. I'm not in a fantastic mood today which affected my motivation. I shoved a bunch of content in here and it might be too much. I don't know. There wasn't a clear way I could cut it into multiple parts without them being choppy and short as hell. I just wanted to get to the next part because this arc was stressing me out.

In any case, I feel like crap right now emotionally, because this day was very draining. I'll try to post tomorrow at a reasonable time. Thank you for reading.

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[adorablelokie]

Who is hunting who, or alternatively, is Loki going after Sylvie or is Sylvie seeking out Loki?

So far we’ve ‘seen’ Sylvie make an appearance in 6 different scenes: 

- The one where she set the field on fire and knocked out TVA agents

- The one where she’s fighting the agents by the elevator in the TVA building

- The one where she’s spying on Loki and the TVA on surveillance cameras

- The one where she’s running away through a fog

- The one where she’s sitting with Loki by a small industrial lake

- The one where she’s doing a flip in a poorly lit room in a mysterious palace

And surprisingly, Loki has been around for at least 5 out of those 6 scenes. Let me show you:

1. The one where she sets the field on fire and knocks out the TVA agents.

This is a scene where Loki is probably not involved or present at all and is the lone exception. In fact this seems like an introduction scene of a mysterious antagonist of the show who will later on be revealed to be Sylvie.

I’m fairly convinced this scene happens in episode 1 since she’s still keeping her identity hidden. Judging by bts videos she takes off her cloak at some point during the mall scene which is set for episode 2.

Plus Derek Russo, who according to IMDb is only appearing in episode 1, is also involved in this scene as the unknown TVA agent who gets dragged away while he was reaching out for the orange canister.

tl;dr: No Loki here, introduction of Sylvie the enemy of the TVA and first hints of what she’s after. Likely (thanks to her cloak and a fellow actor) this happens in episode 1.

2.  The one where she’s fighting the agents by the elevator in the TVA building

This is a scene where Loki actually is around. In the trailer #2 we saw Sylvie fighting two agents by the elevator in what is obviously, the TVA building.

But we also saw an alert Loki cautiously walking down a, rather monotone looking corridor. Judging by the markings on the wall this is also set in the TVA HQ.

Perhaps one’s first impression would be that Loki went rogue and is trying to escape his TVA ‘friends’, but it doesn’t appear that that’s the case. In the following shot we see a knocked out TVA agent just...lying there on the ground and Loki is, with his knives drawn, slowly making his way towards them, not away from them as he would if he was the one responsible for the poor agent’s state.

It appears that Loki is approaching the commotion/danger and is following the source of the fight. In this case I believe Loki is chasing down Sylvie, who has broken into the TVA HQ for reasons unknown. Perhaps to steal something that would allow he to travel through space and time. She does seem to be after something (note: orange canisters). But I doubt he knows about her identity just yet. I think Loki will find out who she is at the same time as the audience will, meaning, it’ll probably happen in episode 2.

tl;dr: Sylvie is in the building, Loki is there too, following the ‘crumbs’ she left behind and this might be the first time Loki and Sylvie interact in the show and/or are in close proximity.

3. The one where she’s spying on Loki and the TVA on surveillance cameras

A pretty easy one! The TVA and Loki enter the ROXXCART shopping mall (apparently, according to Decatur) it’s a scene set in 2050. They evacuate some people, but they also seem to get involved in a fight. Or at least Loki does as a random guy attacks him and he gets laid out by a roomba. No worries though, as Loki ultimately gets his revenge and knocks him out.

But from the safety of ROXXCART’s security room, Sylvie’s watching the events unfurl before her, still safely hidden in her oversized cloak (also is there a reason other that suspense for her to be so hidden? Can she not shapeshift or magically change her appearance?). I previously theorised that she might be capable of telepathically influencing people and might be behind Loki’s little roomba fight.

Thanks to bts videos and photos we know that at some point during this mall confrontation Sylvie has a rather flippant looking conversation with Hunter B-15 and this time, she doesn’t wear any sort of garments over her head. She’s no longer hiding who she is, but earlier, while she was watching surveillance cameras she was still wearing her cloak, so this is probably the scene when we get our first full glimpse of her.

Ultimately at some point after defeating the mighty roomba guy, Loki seems to realise he has an opportunity to escape and takes it, jumping through a portal waiting for him. Mobius and co are running after him, but too late, Loki’s gone. For now?

I wonder if the portal was opened by Loki himself orrrrr.....if maybe Sylvie’s to blame, and kind of helped him out there. After all, by watching trailer #2 we know she’s aware of the portals and likely knows how to use them.

tl;dr: Loki, Mobius and the TVA are in Roxxcart mall. Sylvie’s there too, being a stalker and watching them on cameras. Loki has a fight, Sylvie has a convo with Hunter B-15 and at some point Loki escapes. Our first look at Sylvie and this might be Loki’s first real confrontation with her. 

4. The one where she’s running away through a fog

This one is my favorite moment because I don’t think many have noticed that the scene of Sylvie running away from chaos through fog might happen on the same planet/realm/place as Loki’s magical fight on a moving bar (possibly a fancy train? A bus?)

Admittedly, this one is hard to see, but if you watch the trailer (or if you watch it frame by frame), please spare a glance at the mysterious bulky figure running straight at her on the left of your screen. 

The shrouded-in-foggy-mystery-figure seems to be wearing the exact same type of pointy, very Daft Punk looking helmets as the figures of authority Loki’s fighting off in a moving bar. They also seem to be wielding some type of a staff resembling weapon, which was also seen in the scene where Loki’s fighting, using his magic.

Even the overall fancy aesthetic looks similar to the one of Sylvie running through fog. 

Even the type of font is similar/exactly the same.

tl;dr: Sylvie and Loki are both in the same place. Sylvie’s escaping a commotion possibly caused by her and Loki’s fighting off what seem to be figures of authority in that place. 

5. The one where she’s sitting with Loki by a small industrial lake

This one is by far the easiest as they’re literally sitting inches across from each other. Where exactly they are it’s unknown, but they’re sitting by what seems to be an industrial lake (drainage/sewer pipes on their far right) and with lights illuminating the entire place.

At first it’s just Sylvie, but then Loki joins her. Looking at the given scenes it seems like she’s waiting for him.

Whatever’s going on in this scene I feel like it’s going to be emotionally heavy one. I think this is the scene where we actually find out who Sylvie truly is, what’s her real agenda. It might also be the first proper ‘ok, let’s sit down and talk’ moment between Loki and Sylvie. It gives me those vibes.

Also, they’re clearly not enemies at this point, in fact, judging by their close proximity and body language, it seems like they’re on okayish, maybe even friendly terms. I do believe they join forces at some point in the show.

And this scene of a portal opening up behind Loki follows their conversation. It’s the same rock structure, the same two rocks Loki and Sylvie were sitting on earlier, same ground, same source of lighting.

It seems like either someone from the TVA finds them or that Sylvie opens a portal for Loki.

tl;dr: Sylvie’s waiting for Loki. They have a heart-to-heart and seem to be okay with each other. After their conversation’s over, a portal opens up behind Loki.

6. The one where she’s doing a flip in a poorly lit room in a mysterious palace

Another very obvious one. At some point in later episodes (thanks to Loki’s injured right upper arm, we know this definitely happens after he and Sylvie have that conversation) Loki finds himself at a weird, semi abandoned (but not really, as the fire’s still lit) dark palace with golden specks and cracks everywhere.

We see a bit of light coming through the window, illuminating the room, giving this place a more pinkish tinge. Whatever this place is, it seems like a cathedral or a palace. It’s not entirely abandoned though.

Sylvie’s there too and she’s in her element, mid-flip, ready to demolish whoever she’s fighting. Loki? Who knows.

Loki is certainly looking for someone, and is on alert. Perhaps they’re actually working together to take down a mutual enemy.

tl;dr: Sylvie and Loki find themselves in the same, very aesthetically pleasing looking place and something goes down.

7. The one where Loki uses Sylvie’s sword to fight off the TVA guys. 

Not really a ‘omg Sylvie’s there too!’, but I wanted to include it anyway.

I mean, it’s possible she’s there. I actually think she is and that’s why I’m including it.

Sylvie always has a sword on her person. In literally every scene we have of her so far, we could see her sword. The TVA agents don’t seem to wield swords (they have some weird glowy sticks) and Loki doesn’t wield a sword until he finds a shorter one later on in the show (it’s totally different from Sylvie’s)

This sword belongs to her. That’s for sure. Hunter B-15 does grab it from her at some point but I highly doubt she’s on her side.

However, at some point Loki is seen fighting the TVA agents (the glowy sticks are a dead giveaway) with Sylvie’s sword.

Now, these two guys don’t look like the usual TVA guards/hunters/agents so they might be from another department or are from another timeline. I believe at this point something either happens to Sylvie and she can’t fight (especially since she seems to be on unfriendly terms with the TVA) so Loki jumps in and helps her, or, he helps her out of the goodness of his heart. (Lol)

Anyway, there’s a reason why he has her swords and why he’s fighting the TVA. This frame just gives me more proof that Loki and Sylvie join forces. 

tl;dr: Loki is using Sylvie’s sword and is fighting the TVA. Sylvie’s nowhere to be seen, but is probably around. Loki helps her.

Anyway, this is it. For some reason Loki and Sylvie do seem to be orbiting around each other a lot in this show. But that’s to be expected as Sophia’s one of the four leads and a possible main antagonist. 

The only thing that I can’t quite decipher just yet is if Loki (and the TVA till certain point) are going after Sylvie for the time mess/crimes she caused OR if Sylvie is actively seeking out Loki for her own reasons. 

Possibly a bit of both. Maybe she’s even the reason why he goes rogue and escapes the TVA, hoping to find the answers about who she is and why he’s in this mess on his own. Because I think there’s a chance the TVA might not be telling him everything and he, intrigued as only he can be, decides to find for himself.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see Loki and Sylvie wreak havoc on the TVA :) 

[agoddamn]

A bunch of SW recs in no particular order. Mostly Obi-Wan-centric because I have an awful bias, but a variety of ships. No porn.

chasing the light by skycatcher

Happy endings were never meant for clones; or perhaps clones were not meant for happy endings. But nothing has ever come easy for Rex and Cody — and it’s not going to stop them now.

I will stan this fic on the basis of Cody explicitly saying that he's not Mandalorian in the second part ALONE but the rest of it is also exceptional. Post-war fixit-ish.

Open up the Promise of the Day by dharmaavocado

Or five times Rex defended Obi-Wan's honor and one time Obi-Wan returned the favor.

Very cute. I love the slime mold bit.

Perception by ???

Master and apprentice are held captive. Obi-Wan is drugged, and unable to differentiate the past, present and future. Qui-Gon is a little shocked when rescue comes in the form of a figure from his own past: Dooku. The trip back to Coruscant is full of unexpected moments and emotions.

I have a weakness for getting all these assholes in the same room. Also points for flawed but sympathetic Qui-Gon.

A Duel with Fate by psocoptera

The re-lived day is one of the strangest mysteries of the Jedi: a passage in a Jedi's life when the Force knots Time itself around their individual consciousness, allowing them to revise and repeat their actions until harmony with the Force is achieved.

VERY fun take on the Groundhog Day trope, reimagining it as a known Force phenomenon.

Hope by lilyconrad

The Clone Wars are the backdrop to a quiet and fragile love between a general and a clone commander.

I am a sucker for getting-together stories.

Armored Oasis by spectersticks

The enigmatic clan of Kajain'sa'Nikto known as the "Sand Wraiths of Florrum" attacks the Jedi outpost on the desert planet without warning. Several nights of bombardment later, the Council sends Obi-Wan Kenobi with Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano to uncover the reason behind these consistent attacks, while defending the outpost from the Nikto clan's ranged assaults. Ahsoka teams up with local Twi'lek allies from Florrum's northern capital to gather information, while Anakin and Obi-Wan stand by at the outpost to prevent further damage. The Sand Wraiths, however, don't let things go quite as smoothly as planned.

Missionfic! Fun action. This person also has some other good missionfic.

It Was Another Time and I Another Man by pell_binterhol

Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi find themselves thrown decades into the future and into the midst of a civil war. Ahsoka is delighted for an opportunity to know her unflappable grand-master when he was her age, but as their differences mount, she comes to learn just how much the order has changed. Meanwhile, Obi-wan and Qui-gon aren't the only ones to find themselves out of time, and old Ben Kenobi is scrambling to find Luke Skywalker and pull him out of a tragedy he has no heart to relive.

Obi-Wan stir-fry.

Living Memory, My Fate to Follow by elsa3beth

Ben Kenobi expected his tutelage on Tatooine under the force spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn to yield a new perspective on the galaxy and his place within it. He just did not expect his last lesson to be so…literal. Finding himself back in the early days of the Clone Wars, Ben, now once again General Obi-Wan Kenobi, must struggle with the failures of a past he has long suppressed, while others conspire to give him hope for a future that might yet be.

God-tier time travel fic.

Gunslinger's Paean by ashcroft_writes

Cad Bane has always been alone—only death beside him, destruction in his wake. It's his choice. His safety. His creed.

But connection is a dangerous temptation.

I actually just reblogged a rec for this! Good shit.

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns by chancecraz

I went to sleep on the worst day of my life and woke to find myself in the past on the second worst day of my life. As experiences go, I don’t recommend it.

TFA Leia time travel to ANH. Leia is the viewpoint character here but by god, the Obi-Wan suffering is next-level.

Tell Me No Tales by seastruck

Cody survived the war. And he'll survive the Empire, even if it kills him.

Or: Years after Order-66 destroyed everything he'd fought for, Cody finds himself as an inside agent for the rebellion after his chip malfunctioned. Along with a small group of of clones, he navigates dealing with a merciless Admiral, saving people he thought were long dead, dealing with his ghosts and - maybe - his ghosts coming back for him.

Slowburn that will send you to the ER for an emotional erection lasting longer than four hours

Atlas of our Ruin by ripki

Both the past and the future casts long shadows. Obi-Wan and Anakin learn that the hard way, when a mysterious holocron flings them backwards and forwards in time, forcing them to confront painful truths. But the time-travel is only the beginning…

Excellent Obi-Wan and Anakin characterization.

i'll orbit your flickering star by sunskippa

All Cody wanted from the Jedi was a competent, fair general; one who would allow him to focus on keeping his men safe, and maybe trying to live up to the name Jango Fett bestowed on him.

Nothing could have prepared him for Kenobi save for the experience itself: crashing across the galaxy, from insane caf-and-stims-fueled battlefield highs, to heady fluorescent ship-side lows.

But then, he supposes, this war had a habit of exceeding his expectations, in all the best and worst ways. This is that story through Cody's eyes.

Really solid Cody characterization.

There Goes the Atmosphere by missmollyetc

The most dangerous space in the galaxy is the distance between a clone and his general.

I am also a sucker for post-O66 drama.

[timeclonemike]

Axiom Verge 2: Here We Go Again

So Axiom Verge 2 came out not long ago, but I don’t have a Switch and I don’t trust the Epic Games Store. Rather than wait and possibly get spoiled, I bit the bullet and watched a Let’s Play.

Consequently I can now build on this post. Cutting for length and spoilers right about here.

The Filter: The biggest revelation that AV2 provides is a refinement of the multiverse theory, plus defining some terms from the original game. Trace’s note next to his wheelchair mentions going upstream to the Filter or beyond for answers. As it happens, “upstream” refers literally to the Worldstream, and different universes are connected to each other in a serial fashion. The terminology used to describe the connections is upstream and downstream, with upstream leading towards the Source Worlds that are the progenitors of all other universes. Likewise, the Filter refers to worlds in the worldstream that function as firewalls and safety mechanisms to keep disruptive influences from downstream worlds from traveling too far up, since disrupting one world can damage all of the worlds downstream from that world.

We even get to see the Worldstream or some analog to it when Indra (the protagonist of Axiom Verge 2) travels to the Filter world upstream of Kiengir (which is either upstream of or parallel to Earth) and the background of the rooms is a MASSIVE fractal pattern originating from / coalescing into a singularity off in the distance.

There are also some notes from Trace to Dr. Hammond, his research partner in the cutscene for the first game who took Trace’s revolutionary theory and turned into a way to make Faster Than Light communication and computing technology. Dr. Hammond also finds herself in a unique position to test one of the possibilities implicit in Trace’s theory, namely if the existence of an afterlife is somehow accounted for in the multiverse. One of the notes in the first game says that different instances of a person across the multiverse can survive events that their counterparts do not, but that the survivors have no idea that they even have a counterpart who died.

What happens in the second game is more about what happens to the ones that didn’t make it, because Dr. Hammond is communicating with Indra through the prototype superluminal communicators (called ansibles) scattered here and there, but Indra can also find Hammond’s body and a suicide note in some of Kiengir’s ruins. Dr. Hammond refers to where she is as a sort of “detention center” that she needs Indra’s help to escape from, and this help involves hacking the control computer in the Filter world. An earlier message at an ansible mentions data throttling, which seems to refer to the memory limitations of the ansible prototypes themselves; they can only send so much data over their operational lifetimes.

Except there’s Trace’s original paper and the axioms he starts with, where reality is described as algorithms running a universal / multiversal simulation, and cognition is a sub-algorithm within the parent algorithm. Put it all together and the game all but states that there is an afterlife, but it operates on the same rules as life - it’s an adjacent or related universe to our own and minds / spirits / souls / cognitive algorithms can migrate between those universes under certain conditions even if the material body they used to pilot is no longer functional. At least, that’s what normally happens, but for some reason the transmigration of souls was limited or stopped or throttled. It’s semi-implied but never explicitly stated that there’s a trans-universal system in place to keep the Worldstream stable, and the Lamassu computer network that controls Kiengir is part of that network, and the fact that realities are starting to glitch and break down further implies that this system is damaged or overwhelmed.

Trace’s Motivations: Trace never shows up in the game, and only gets mentioned here and there in a few notes. The game takes place in the 2050s and Trace’s lab accident was in 2005, with Dr. Hammond starting Hammond Corp and making money hand over fist in 2007 by selling the world zero-latency computing technology. Hammond’s suicide note explains that Trace was already exploring the Breach before she started her company, but she hasn’t heard from him in decades and the entire antarctic expedition was just so she could try to find him again. She mentions a few things in passing that come up in the first game, like a device called a Scry that can locate anything in the multiverse, and the term PatternMind which Trace was but Hammond was not.

By itself, this would seem to imply that we don’t know anymore about what Trace saw or experienced that turned him from a pacifist to somebody willing to commit genocide. But there’s another factor in play, one that has nothing to do with Trace at all at first glance.

At a certain point in the game, Indra gets stuck in her alternate drone form until she finds the right upgrade to become human (well, humanoid) again. She can still communicate with people, such as the survivors from Hammond Corp’s expedition and one of the Kazakh members of a Russian expedition that came through the portal and decided to settle a world upstream of Kiengir. However, coming back to revisit those areas and talk to those survivors later may result in them not being in the same spot anymore. Instead, there’s a sort of flying enemy that looks like a miniature version of the first boss of Axiom Verge. People who examined the game’s code found that there is actually an “infection” mechanic involved based on time elapsed since Indra comes in contact with the survivors.

That the survivors turn  into the types of monsters we see in Axiom Verge 1 is significant on its own, but it takes on more importance when we consider the endgame cutscenes. The Kazakhs have settled and colonized an upstream world, while a few of them are staying in an adjacent world where time passes differently; this is explicitly so that they can observe and track the changing of society over long spans of time and direct its evolution. After beating the final boss, Indra decides to team up with Drushka, the leader of the Kazakhs and a name mentioned in one of the notes found in Axiom Verge 1, in order to further her own goals.

Here’s the thing: What we see of the world that Drushka is standing watch in, called The Emergence, looks so similar to what we’ve seen of Sudra as to be almost identical. Given how time is explicitly stated to pass at different rates in different parts of the Breach compared to the worlds in the Worldstream, it isn’t out of the question that the Kazakhs were the ancestors of the Sudrans. The only problem with this theory is that long before anyone from earth showed up in Kiengir, the Lamassu had upstream technology brought in to allow the locals to defend themselves, as part of its broader directive to safeguard the Worldstream from disruption. Some of this technology included Rebirth Chambers - Indra even accesses the Filter through one - which was later destroyed to prevent too much cultural contamination. That technology had to come from somewhere, so either the Kazakhs inhabited a world adjacent to Sudra or downstream from it so there were similarities in art and culture and architecture, or the Rebirth Chambers and other advanced technology were themselves brought to Sudra from upstream worlds and simply shut down rather than completely destroyed after the Sudrans nearly wiped themselves out.

In either case, the important part is how Indra is subtly implied to be some sort of nanotech Typhoid Mary. She might be the actual source of the Pathogen that wipes out Sudra, not Athetos. In hindsight there is a hint to this effect in the first game because after Trace starts getting sick and hallucinating, there is a Rusalki called Ophelia that saves him. He doesn’t have any symptoms for the rest of the game, implying he is cured. If it was something unique to Trace that made him immune, he wouldn’t have gotten sick in the first place and neither would Athetos. Same with him getting better, if Trace could do it so could the original. So it had to be something unique to Ophelia that she couldn’t - or wouldn’t - do for anyone else.

And during Axiom Verge 2′s credits, we see a detailed close up look of Indra’s nanotech-enhanced body. The face and head look a LOT like Ophelia. Not conclusive by itself, but too similar to be completely shrugged off as coincidence.

And that has got me thinking.

I ended my first post pondering what Trace could have found in the Breach or while traveling the multiverse that caused a pacifist scientist to turn to genocide to achieve his ends. It’s possible that nothing could, because he didn’t. Maybe Athetos didn’t release the pathogen on Sudra, the Rusalki did; it’s shown in the notes that they resented the way that the Sudrans crippled them and reduced them basically to talking heads, but still had some influence over what was going on either through manipulating the priests or through exchange of data that the Sudrans were unaware of or incapable of understanding.

Athetos refers to the Rusalki as masters of war just before the final battle of Axiom Verge 1. He might have shown up at Sudra thousands of years prior to the events of the game as Trace, gotten healed, traveled up to the Filter to try to learn more, and then come back after the flow of time had changed to find a civilization on the verge of collapse from a virulent contagion that turned people into monsters. Trace may be a pacifist, but he will still use the Axiom Disrupter and all of its bells and whistles to protect himself in game. It’s entirely possible that the original realized that the Rusalki were trying to escape Sudra and would cause devastation throughout the Worldstream, and he applied his knowledge to create weapons and tools to turn himself into a one man army once he realized he couldn’t cure the pathogen. (Or maybe he did try to come up with a cure, and the Rusalki’s retaliation / interference was what made him realize what was actually going on.)

He doesn’t say any of this before his boss fight because he realizes that Trace and the Rusalki have the advantage now. Trace can keep coming back using the Rebirth Chambers, so Athetos has to come up with contingency plan. The secret ending shows Trace in a Dream Algorithm set up by one of the Rusalki, but Athetos shows up and shoots him, telling him it’s time to wake up. During his boss fight, Athetos shows the ability to manipulate the environment to a certain degree, spawning in new enemies and replacing power cells for the Breach Attractor when Trace destroys them. It’s not clear if this is a result of Sudran tech of being a PatternMind, but whatever the reason, it’s possible that Athetos was doing all of it to buy time.

Time for what?

To hack Trace’s Nanogates so that the Rusalki couldn’t control him anymore.

Trace keels over not long after the final battle, but Athetos showing up with a gun implies that Athetos was able to at least get a Trojan Horse into the nanogates that would wake Trace up when the remote overrides were disabled. Then Trace could wake up, find all his equipment again, and take the fight to the Rusalki before they could cause too much damage to the Worldstream, possibly including Earth.

The only truly glaring flaw in this theory is that it doesn’t account for why Indra would side with a bunch of genocidal robots, one way or another; she refers to the storage bay in Axiom Verge 1 as where “our bodies” are kept, and these are massive war machines, while her humanoid nanotech form is about human sized. The Lamassu refers to some fairly devastating war machines from upstream worlds and the Rusalki might just be those machines; she was heading to the world they were stored in because it might have the technology to restore one of her Apocalypse Arm upgrades - the child Damu that controls her drone body - to a flesh and blood body that can live a normal life.

There is a big gap between trying to help this kid she found and teaming up with sentient weapons platforms to devastate the multiverse. At least as big as the gap between Trace being a pacifist and Athetos committing genocide.

Like so many sequels, Axiom Verge 2 has raised even more questions than it answered.

[ruzek-halstead]

i knew i loved you then (but you'd never know)

i have no self control and another fic was born out of what was supposed to be just an outline on how i would write it. sorry, not sorry. thanks @thedeathdeelers for sending in the incredible prompt that led to this fic!!

julie molina, pop princess taking on the world by storm, with her trusty bodyguard by her side. a short take on how luke and julie fall in love while travelling the world. 

bodyguard au

masterlist

For as long as she could remember, Julie Molina couldn’t picture herself doing anything except performing in front of screaming fans every night. It was everything she ever wanted. She would practice by herself in front of her mirror, giggling when she spotted her mom peeking from the doorway. Sometimes Rose would join her, grabbing Julie’s hairbrush to harmonize with her daughter. Julie would sometimes stop and stare in awe at her mother’s range; every shred of talent Julie had was because of her. It was their routine, their tradition. Until it wasn’t. 

After her mother’s death, it took Julie a while to be able to sing; by herself in front of the mirror and in front of anyone else. Why should she get the opportunity to showcase her talent when the entire reason she had any at all wasn’t there to see it anymore? But then she realized the only way to rid herself of the anger and hurt she was feeling, was to write it down. Her words eventually transformed into song lyrics, and without even realizing it, she started singing again. It happened gradually, to the point where she didn’t even notice what a massive change it was for her. Then she started playing for an audience; she needed an outlet for her thoughts and feelings and this was the perfect opportunity for her. When she was noticed by a producer at random, it didn’t even hit her until she was signing her first ever record deal. Julie signed the papers, stepped into the bathroom and cried for a solid ten minutes. She wanted so badly for her mom to be here with her, to witness this monumental moment. Julie knew, no matter what, Rose was looking down from above, beaming with pride. She promised herself she would do this for her, to make her proud. That was how Julie found herself on her third tour, following her third number one album. Her first album went straight to number one. Julie remembered the moment she found out; she was grocery shopping with her father when she received a call from her label to give her the good news. Both she and Ray couldn’t contain the screams of excitement as they jumped around in the cereal aisle. After that, everything changed for Julie. In preparation for her first local tour, multiple people were hired to take part of the crew; so many that Julie couldn't possibly name them all. She was appreciative of every single one, especially the ones in her immediate circle. While she played her piano mostly, she still needed a band for the road; that was how she met Alex, Reggie and Bobby. Alex dominated on drums, throwing some sass everywhere he went. He constantly made rehearsals the place to be, sometimes maybe a bit too distracting. Reggie played the bass so passionately, Julie didn't think she'd ever met someone so passionate about an instrument. He always kept her laughing in rehearsals, especially with his dances as he played. Bobby took the lead as their rhythm guitarist; he was quiet and shy, but when he joined in on the other boy's shenanigans, he felt completely in his element, almost like they'd been friends for ages. She loved her band so much, she insisted they accompany her on every future tour. While her first one was small and local, she never could've dreamed that she would be embarking on her third tour, this one being a world tour. It was the most exciting journey, and now at the age of twenty-two, she would be taking this trip solo. It was intimidating, but she knew she had the best team. It also happened that she had the best protection detail around. The more she was known, the faster her fanbase grew and just to be on the safe side, her label hired her a bodyguard to accompany her on the first tour. When she first met him, she was shocked; he was so young. She truly believed he could do no better of a job than she could, but during her first mobbing, he proved just how resilient he was. Julie quickly realized that when it came to her safety, Luke Patterson did not mess around. He was two years older than her, and it seemed like her label was trying to surround her with staff that she could feel comfortable around. At the time, it was her first tour and the only person she knew was her father and brother. It was nice to have people close to her age that she could pass the time with. Luke had worked with other celebrities before he landed his gig protecting Julie Molina. But he could safely say, no one he had ever met even came close to her. With someone being thrown into the limelight at such a young age, the rush of fame could very easily corrupt them. But that didn't happen with Julie. She was always so kind, so appreciative of everyone helping her dreams come true. It was so easy to get along with her, and it helped that they got on exceptionally well. He spent more time with Julie than anyone else in the crew; he quite literally watched her grow as a popstar, at how she handled her success. But she never had a wild phase. All she ever wanted to do was make her family proud and continue to make music. Julie had such a big heart. He knew it was unprofessional, but he couldn't help it - his attachment grew. By the time her third tour rolled around, they'd known each other for years; they were friends more than anything. It became normal for him to linger longer than necessary, but Julie never seemed to mind. Everyone knew he had his own space on the second tour bus for crew, but they also didn't question when he began spending more and more time in Julie's tour bus. Once again, she never objected. "What do you think of this?" Julie was clad in a pair of sweatpants and a merch hoodie. Her feet were adorned with fluffy slippers and they were hoisted on Luke's lap. They were on the road to their next city, Julie was exhausted from her show earlier that night, but she was adamant on finishing a new song. Even though she was celebrating the success from album three with a tour, she still couldn't stop herself from starting on album four. Luke always warned her that she would burn herself out, but her determination strayed beyond his wise words. Luke read over Julie's lyrics, humming thoughtfully. She was aware that he was into music, but Luke never revealed just how into music he really was. He wasn't confident enough about his vocal abilities to sing in front of a worldwide popstar, even if it was only Julie. She also knew he dabbled in writing songs, but he seriously undersold it, because if she were to ever ask to see his material, he wouldn't even be able to show her. Why wouldn't he be able to show her? Because he wasn't sure when it happened, but somewhere between their years of knowing each other, months upon months of spending every waking moment together, Luke fell in love. Every line he wrote, every word, was about Julie. "That's beautiful, Jules," he had responded softly. It was dark in the bus, only the soft lighting from the lamp beside Julie illuminating their surroundings. She was growing sleepy; playing a two hour show every night really drained the life out of her. She was hyper aware of how close Luke was next to her. She knew he wouldn't get off her bus until their next stop, wherever that may be. Julie might as well enjoy his company while she still had it. She grabbed the notebook out of his hands and tossed it aside. She also pulled her feet off his lap and curled them underneath her instead, scooting closer to lie her head comfortably on his shoulder. Luke stiffened for a moment. But then she curled her arm around his and he nearly melted. All the words died on his tongue. He wanted nothing more than to be here in the moment. He knew it was wrong. His feelings were incredibly inappropriate, but it wasn't as if he could shut them off. He didn't think his feelings affected his job performance; if anything, he felt even more motivated to keep her as safe as possible. It didn't change his behaviour with her either. He would never do anything to make her uncomfortable or ruin the bond between them. He merely suffered with his feelings in silence; it was for the best, and he knew that. Luke genuinely believed his feelings were completely one-sided. But as time went on, he started noticing things. It was Julie's first worldwide tour; the stakes were much higher and Luke knew his job was more important than ever. His focus was first and foremost on Julie's well-being, feelings be damned. He truly tried to even distance himself, keep it strictly professional. But then he noticed the way Julie's eyes would linger on him sometimes. Sometimes her smiles were softer, almost like they were just for him. At first, he thought he was absolutely losing his mind. Maybe his brain was just trying to trick him and show him just how ridiculous this whole thing was, but eventually, he couldn't deny it anymore. Not after she basically stared directly at him for the entirety of one of her love songs. And it wasn't only that. Sometimes she would hit him with some flirty comments, ones where he would actually have to take a moment because what? But then other times, she avoided him like the plague. He was having a hard time keeping up with her and pinning her down, but he was really starting to get the impression that maybe his feelings weren't completely one-sided. Eventually, she continued to avoid him like the plague (which, made his job increasingly more difficult since he was supposed to be protecting her). It made things awkward and this was supposed to be a good experience, especially for her. Every time he tried to clear the air and have an adult conversation about the tension between them, she did everything in her power to avoid it. The excuses she came up with bewildered him. He tried to be as patient as possible. This was her moment, he didn't want to ruin anything. But she knew this better than anyone, he was everything but a patient man. It all came to a head in Barcelona. Luke finally felt like he was making some progress again. Julie had actually stayed in his presence longer than needed and seemed to enjoy it as they threw some jokes back and forth. He wished her luck before she went on stage and she sent him such a blinding smile, he momentarily forgot how to breathe. So, when she finished her show, he politely congratulated her, as he did every night. He was momentarily knocked backwards a few steps as she threw herself into his arms. He was surprised, but in the absolutely best way. It had been a while since she'd felt comfortable enough to be in his embrace. Luke could feel her melting into the hug. But then it went on a second too long, or it got far too intimate for Julie because she pulled away as if he burned her. She refused to meet his gaze and mumbled something about going to change. Luke was so glad everyone around was too busy to realize what had just happened. Truth be told, he wasn't even sure what happened; all he knew was that he was feeling awkward and uncomfortable and he really wasn't sure he could go on like this any longer. She was clearly feeling something, though what that was, he wasn't sure. But her inability to have a conversation with him about it was really starting to put a strain on their professional and personal relationship. Luke wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on. Later that night, when it was time to lead Julie back to her tour bus, Luke checked out their path before bringing Julie out. Fans and paparazzi clouded their way and Luke knew he had to clear a safe way for Julie to get the few feet to her tour bus. When Julie stormed past him, his jaw dropped in shock. It took him a second to spring into action; he had to literally run to catch up with her and get in front. She knew the routine, they did this all the time. Julie always went behind Luke; always. Luke grunted angrily as Julie attempted to move past him for the fourth time since they exited the building. As soon as they reached the door of her tour bus, Julie zoomed inside and shut the door harshly behind her. Luke took a deep, calming breath before storming in after her. "What the hell was that?" Julie ignored him as she went to the fridge to grab a drink; Luke's eye twitched. "I'm responsible for your safety. How am I supposed to keep you safe if you pull that bullshit?" He was angry now and his tone conveyed that. To his utter infuriation, Julie continued to ignore him. She took a seat on the couch and grabbed the television remote. She was acting as if he wasn't even there. Luke stepped forward and captured the remote out of her hand. Her venomous eyes turned on him and he had to take a step back at the pure hatred within them. "Julie," he breathed, brokenly. He felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. "What is going on? You've been avoiding me for weeks." Her eyes seemed to soften, but her gaze was still nowhere near how she used to look at him. He wasn't sure where everything had changed. But then he watched as Julie swallowed harshly and stared at anything but him. That was when he knew. He knew this wouldn't work. He was in love with her and she couldn't even stand to be around him anymore. He couldn't do this. He couldn't protect her anymore. Not from the world and not from him. Luke's heart started to break the moment he realized what he had to do next. "I'm sorry, Julie," Luke's voice cracked with the pain he was feeling. It felt like his heart was being physically removed from his chest. "I can't do this anymore." Julie finally met his eyes, eyebrows furrowing at the glimmer of tears. "I'm compromised. I'm in love you with and I clearly can't protect you anymore. You can't even look at me." Julie felt her heart physically drop. He looked so broken, so crushed, quite literally ready to cry. He finally admitted what Julie had been trying to admit to herself for months. He was so much braver than her; he was stepping down from his job because it was the 'better' option for both of them. He was stepping down from his job because of her. Because she had ignored him for months because she wasn't brave enough to face what she was feeling. It wasn't fair to him. It was time for Julie to be the brave one. Luke was ready to leave; he had backed up a few steps closer to the door. He was giving her an opportunity to stop him, to tell him something that would change his mind, but she didn't say anything. It broke his heart all over again. Before he could turn away to leave, Julie launched forward into his arms. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, legs locked around his waist. It was the closest they'd been in weeks, the most intimate they'd been ever. The words weren't coming to her. But Luke couldn't hold her the way she needed, not until she gave him something. "Don't leave me." His arms squeezed around her almost instantly, as tightly as he possibly could. His face was buried in her curls and he sighed. It still wasn't enough. "I don't think I can stay. Not when I feel the way I do." Julie pulled back to look into his eyes, her own shimmering with unshed tears. "What if I felt the same way?" Luke forgot how to breathe. There were no words in his brain, nothing he could say in this absolutely perfect moment. He didn't need to say anything though because Julie wasn't finished. "I think I'm in love with you too," she admitted, feeling the most vulnerable she ever had in her life. "Please don't leave." Julie's head found its way to Luke's neck. She couldn't let him go; she was too scared he would leave. "I'm not going anywhere, Julie." Even with his promise, she couldn't find it in her to let him go; so, she didn't. Luke sat them down on the couch, keeping her close. When she finally pulled her head out of his neck, she was met with his sparkling green eyes, shining with pure happiness. It coaxed a giggle from her lungs and Luke joined in. The pure joy they were feeling couldn't be matched. But then their laughter died off as Julie's eyes glanced down to Luke's mouth. The energy between them changed immediately. Luke's urge to kiss her was nearly overpowering, but he wanted Julie to feel comfortable. His hand found its way up to cradle her cheek; she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and sighing in contentment. He leaned his face closer, giving her an out, if she wanted it. But she didn't. Instead, she chased his lips with her own, pressing into him. She had wasted too much time acting like a child; she wasn't going to waste anymore. Her hands found themselves in his hair, scratching at his scalp and eliciting a low moan from him. Luke senses were overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. He pushed back against Julie's lips, as she deepened the kiss, parting his lips. He kissed her fiercely, like she was the oxygen he'd been deprived of. It was the type of kiss that left little room for thought; his focus was all on feeling this moment, remembering this moment. 

Julie pulled away with a giggle to take a breath. Luke still hadn't gotten enough of her and his mouth travelled to her jaw, dropping light butterfly kisses. Julie closed her eyes in contentment, tipping her head. When his mouth moved to her neck, all logic immediately flew out of her brain. She was unable to form coherent thoughts when Luke's tongue was doing that to her neck. When she let out a whisper of a whimper, Luke popped back up with hooded eyes. "God, I'm so in love with you," he mumbled before diving back into her lips. Julie loved him too, and in that moment, she vowed to never do anything to ever make him second guess his place in her life. 

x

okay so now that i wrote ‘luke and julie falling in love while travelling the world’ i want to write an even more fledged out fic WHERE THEY ACTUALLY TOUR THE WORLD AND FALL IN LOVE. i can’t be satiated. anyway, i hope you enjoyed.

tagging a few lovely mutuals who shared some interest: @brightattheorpheum @pink-flame @missjoolee @ourstarscollided @burntchromas