#like. i am NOT dating rn

[starbuck]

me: wow, being in a relationship could be fun…

also me: if one more person tells me they have a crush on me, i am going to SCREAM

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[astrum99]

Do you think bugs fall in love?

Their small bodies host even tinier brains. Built to crawl through soil and rocks bigger than itself. Running on a simple software bouncing between eat, sleep, fight, flight, and copulate.

V1 is smarter than a bug. It must be. It’s a war machine, so it must be. Its programming is complex enough to fry several motherboards; the internals are heated from constant, unrelenting processing needs. If it updates its optical data intake to any greater degree than these rough, messy polygons, it’d surely perish from the overwhelming information.

V1 is built to kill first, survive second. To be fair, survival would ensure more killing, so it’d be more effective. Moving through the battlefield, culling lives, drawing blood. Perfectly aligned with its programmed objectives, then.

Gabriel is smarter than a bug. He must be. He’s an angel, so he must be. He’s one of the best soldiers in the heavenly realm. Armour and swords glistened with pride and justice. He sees all. He judges all. His loyalty and perfect track record have earned him a high rank within the order. Leaving behind the creaturely "it". His light burns hot and bright within his constitution.

Gabriel is built as a messenger of the Father, then a judge of Hell. To be fair, the role of a judge was assigned to him by the council, so he supposes that his placement can be summed up as the bearer of the divine authority to bring right to all other creatures. Perfectly aligned, then.

Bugs… Well, they’re the same. I suppose. Small beings. Running pre-programmed orders derived from centuries of evolution: eat, sleep, fight, flight, and copulate. No role. No responsibilities.

Bugs are built naturally and fully, unlike humankind; but formed and ready to go within seconds from their births, like machines and angels.

So. Do they live?

When the machine and the angel escape their chains, do they see themselves in bugs?

Bugs are born to live, temporarily, fleetingly, yet live nonetheless. Do they, then, deserve to live, freeing and meaninglessly. No role. No responsibilities.

So. Do bugs love?

Do they learn that they can go beyond their basic structures? Do they see their own reflection in each other’s compound eyes? Do they recognize each other’s bodies, scents, heat? Do they feel the desire for closeness?

To flutter wings like a dance of waltz. To brush antennae like butterfly kisses. To greet and caress and lie next to each other near their death.

To move through the sky in battle, in passion. To clash swords and fists and bullets. To greet and caress and lie next to each other near their death.

The same cells in the same blood coursing beneath the same suit of exoskeletons.

Machine, angel, bug. Boiled down to the barest essence of existence; crisp simplicity.

To live, to love.

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[puppyeared]

started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki

[izzyzalezbian]

Levi's the kind of guy to get back from a 12-hour shift from the local restaurant, and almost immediately hop on Cool Math Games to play Papa's Pizzeria

[bluewolfangel01]

Idk if anyone else has thought or mentioned this before but...

Im calling Beel, "Beely-Bub" and I shan't be stopped

[astonmartingf]

you know what energy fernando alonso is giving? homewrecker energy. imagine dating mark webber or like jenson button, it doesn't matter because fernando alonso will come sweeping in, and it ends in a throuple? huh? do you see the vision?

[todayisafridaynight]

old man yaoi sketch commission........

Commission Info

[emilys-mich]

Something about Emily being called rude and harsh for the way she handled Eldon basically harassing her, before being guilt tripped for hurting his feelings and then pressured into going on a date with him.

Something about Emily trying to gain Amanda’s trust by pretending to turn against the team, having to to portray herself as incredibly cruel and selfish, and struggling to cope with how easily everyone believed it.

Something about Emily saying goodbye to Michelle, tears streaming down her face, admitting to thinking she’s not kind or compassionate enough on her own, and scared that she won’t be able to be a mentor and a role model without Michelle to guide her.

Something about being a good person at your core, but nobody ever acknowledges it so you don’t even know that you are.

Something about this character who, despite the countless number of times she’s felt it break, genuinely believes she might not have a heart.

[adhderall]

no the "omg ur just a lesbian bc u can't get a man!!!1" thing is SO wild because it's incredibly easy to get a man meanwhile getting a woman (as a woman) is INSANELY difficult. despite what everyone says is2g ~wlw~ have higher standards (with women) than men do with women or women do with men

[dejavalentine]

should this be how i introduce my @infamous-if mc no am i gonna do it anyway yeah. so hyped for the update!! can't wait to be tortured by my own voluntary choices!!!

Innes Von Yang— ‘Ivy’ or ‘IV’

she/they (nonbinary)

Vampire aesthetic. She also has a lollipop gimmick, as in, she'll go out on stage with one. She's starting bringing unopened ones onto stage to throw into the crowd since it became a thing, but it actually started because she ran onto stage one time with one and some fans thought it looked cool so she kept doing it.

Appearance wise, she has choppy dyed hair with white red and black in the mix. East asian girl with beige skin, but she does full face makeup on stage based around goth and vkei. Might do an outfit collage another time…

Goes by Ivy because it’s her initials (her parents thought von was a middle name and didn’t realize it’s meant to be part of the last name)

Her stage name though is IV, as in the hospital equipment, but cause it’s also the roman numerals for four, her lucky number. She started using it to match with Seven, and he has this as his tattoo because it’s always been ‘her number’ even before it was her stage name. She still has her tattoo as well, and doesn't bother to conceal it.

"Sev!" and "Ive!"

Similarly to how Seven doesn't like Duckstein, Ivy hates her first name and any variations of it, treating Ivy as her name. "Don't call me Nezzie!!" (unless it was high school and you were Seven getting back at them for calling you 'Ducky')

Needs glasses but wears contacts! They worked hard on that eye makeup goddammit!! They just wore glasses back in high school though.

Has a Soundcloud they’ve been using since middle school. They started posting solo songs there which are usually indie pop or some other experimental sound different from the band.

She used to play the violin, but stopped when she got older and focused more on being a vocalist and dance. Ironically? Not that good with plants.

Girl the first meeting between them and August was so funny. “August, meet IV, the one I was telling you about." “You can just call me Ivy. It's nice to meet you." “Isn’t that the same thing…?” “Nah. Ivy— I-V-Y is based off my initials. IV— I and V, is the Roman numeral four.” “…For?” “Yeah, four!” “No for what?” “What do you mean, four what? Four just…means four.”

Deadly arachnophobia. She screamed her fucking lungs out on the bus when they thought they saw one and climbed onto Rowan while shrieking at him to kill it (it was some thread).

They became way more bitter and cynical over time, but out of spite (towards their parents, the world, Seven—) remain stubbornly ambitious and laugh in the face of whatever tries to take her down. It’s just easier and less embarrassing to be volatile than wistful or a doormat. It's for the sake of pride, really.

Closeted Soft Violence fan. You will have to threaten to kill her (or catch her deeply off guard) before she even thinks of admitting this.

She projects anger and spite in front of Seven because she can't help herself. When it comes to being vulnerable, she would always stamp it down or try to cover it up. Inwardly, she’s just really sad and wanting for what’s not really there anymore and never will be. You’re in his dms I’m disgusted by the enormity of my desire!!! We are NOT the same!!!

This is similar to how she acts around her parents. She still really wants to have a relationship with them but feels she's the one who has consistently had to try to have that, which makes her bitter and embarrassed as an adult. They make her feel like a meek little kid again and this time she doesn't even have Seven to fall back on when that happens-- which makes the feeling worse. AUGHH!!!

She’s really only chasing fame because that has to be what makes all of this hurt and effort worth it. Otherwise, genuinely, what was it all for? To share their music? Don't fuck with them like that. It stopped being about 'their' music when Seven left. They're a damn good band, Ivy loves her friends, and she has fun-- but it's just not the same goal without him around anymore.

Used to hate confrontation, but now dives into drama for the hell of it (even if she won’t start it herself necessarily). Generally hates being underestimated or pitied, and doesn’t like getting help because they’re not a ‘charity case.’ Has become kind of trashy and plays comic relief with Rowan alot. Speaking of him...

Her ship name with Rowan was originally ‘IRow’ (Ivy’s a shameless atla fan) but was quickly overtaken by ‘Bloody Hart.’ They’re not into each other but they did kiss while drunk once (which for them kinda solidified the fact they aren't into each other). Fans also coined ‘Snivy’ for her and Seven, though the two never dated.

Is rooting for Piercehart. She has the edits that have started rolling in saved on her camera roll already. They've also been victims of the shipping culture though #AutumnIvy (a typo that just...stuck? August isn't even a fall month!)

Started believing in the idea of fate after Seven left the band. If it brought them together once it can do it again (she refuses to think about it or accept this being the real reason why yet and just chalks it up as her committing to the bit.)

Worst Demeanor: Tweeted ‘Taylor Swift is mid’ then put their phone on dnd for the next two days. She still has it pinned to her profile.

Pinch Me— cause I must be dreaming!

Genre: Alternative Rock, dipping occasionally into Pop Rock

Fandom: Idealists

First album: Burn the Candle

Hit song: At Both Ends

GC: pretenders

xoxo to anyone who got this far have these two drabbles. first one was inspired by the very normal line of thought ‘man what if mc died before they could make up with seven’ (+haha they swapped how they feel about fate) and the second from the fact that sev canonically thought abt mc during their dates like DUDE !!!

[threefuckencrowsinaleatherjacket]

I haven’t seen anyone talking about THEEE Samama Khalid and his humming to himself as he works and this must be rectified. I LOVE HIS LITTLE SINGING HES SO CUTE AND REAL FOR IT JUSTICE FOR MY BOY YALL HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE HES SO FUNNY AND ADORABLE GIVE HIM ALL THE HUGS

[stormbreaker-290]

h elp me-

[royalarchivist]

Michela (DarkEyebrows): Did you see the [Barbie] movie, Phil?

Phil: Yeah, it's really good.

Michela (DarkEyebrows): It's really good.

Ranboo: I haven't seen it yet. I mean- what movie, what movie? There's no movie, there's no movie-

Michela (DarkEyebrows): OH SHOOT- there's no movie there's no movie there's no movie-

Ranboo: We like writers and actors, we love writers and actors-

Michela (DarkEyebrows): We LOVE writers and actors! I am actor! I am actor! I literally AM actor! I am SAG, I am in the union-

Phil: [Trolling them] GUYS, LET ME LIST ALL THE MOVIES I'VE LIKED IN THE PAST 6 MONTHS-

[eddiegettingshot]

it's actually crazy to me to see the sentiment that eddie needs to be rid of his catholic guilt before dating a man. do you guys know any gay people jw