#also I am American and have no doubt that some of my terminology is incorrect re: British school / boarding /etc

[read-write-thrive]

Charles Rowland Week Day Five — Earring/AU

Yes this is late but shhhh this ficlet was not working with me!! Still not happy with it but here we are. TW: slurs for South Asian and queer people mentioned (aka paki and fag) as Charles recounts what some of the awful other guys were saying to him. Take care of yourself as always :) hope you enjoy!!

Charles knew it wasn’t fair of him to slam the door open. He came back practically right after class, for once, and he knew that Edwin would be doing homework at his desk. Sudden sounds were worse for Charles than Edwin, for the most part, but it was still a dick move on his part to just bang the door open, storm in, dump his stuff, and then immediately set about taking a shower. In his defence it had been a truly awful day and he figured it was better to take his anger out on inanimate objects than snap (or worse) at Edwin himself.

But, again, this was completely unknown to Edwin, who jumped and twisted in his seat to see what the noise was. He calmed a bit at seeing it was Charles, but still tore his headphones from his ears to start up, “Charles! What the devil has gotten into you?” When Charles dropped his stuff off without responding, Edwin continued, “Is everything alright? Are you alright?”

Charles whipped off his top, threw it in the vague direction of his hamper, and started pacing and taking his socks off at the same time (which doesn’t work very well, but he was too angry to think that through), “It’s those dicks in my woodwork class again! I swear to fuck I am going to drive one of those hammers through their fucking heads, nail their empty skulls together so they might have some fucking use!”

Edwin somehow audibly blinked, “Well. That’s a picture. What have they done this time?”

Charles managed to still himself to unbutton his jeans, “More homophobic, racist shit. ‘Charlie! Charlie! Is the earring because you’re a gross fag or a fucking paki?’ Absolute arseholes. Like it’s any of their fucking business—they wouldn’t know culture if it shagged their mums.”

Another blink, “They really got to you today, it seems. You should take solace in the fact that they’re uneducated as you can be and still stay at this school. Not only are they on the tutoring list—none of which I will ever touch, of course—but anyone with any knowledge of South Asian or gay cultures would know that you would need to have the right, not the left ear pierced.”

Somehow, this logic broke through Charles’s temper (which had to be a special skill of Edwin’s—most people manage to rile him up more). Charles paused in this process of emptying his jeans pockets and stared at his roommate/best friend, “Wait, what? Did you research that?”

Edwin didn’t blush often, but when he did it was always paired with the sternest of expressions and fiddling of his hands. Charles thought it was cute, not that he’d ever say that to another boy. But Edwin assumed that face and Charles thought about it anyway, slightly distracted as Edwin explained, “It was a long time ago, if you must know. Right when you came back with your left ear pierced, in fact. I was… concerned, that I may say something wrong or misinterpret any of it. I had no wish to offend you, which included not asking you outright. … So yes, I ‘researched’ it.”

Charles felt warm to his core in a good way for once, not how anger had been burning through him minutes before. Edwin had really taken the time to look it up, just for Charles? And—, “Wait, researched it how? The Indian ear piercing thing—which isn’t what this is, ‘n case that wasn’t clear—is usually for babies and they get both ears done. The gay thing— that’s not exactly in the library, innit?”

Edwin continued fidgeting, eventually pulling out his little personal notebook for reference of some sort, “In my research I found that which ear was pierced first was a gendered tradition—right ear first for boys, left ear first for girls. Following that was an awfully confusing description of some sort of thread used in place of an earring, which didn’t apply to your piercing so I chose not to pursue it further. As for the— the other, well. Do you remember the boy I tutor for mathematics?”

Charles wasn’t exactly following yet but couldn’t resist in of their usual jokes, “Monty or something, yeah? The one who’s gaga over you.”

As expected, Edwin rolled his eyes (and remained pink in the cheeks) and continued, “Monty, yes. One of his friends was in the area when our session wrapped up and came by to chat. Thomas, I think his name was. He had only one ear pierced as well, though his was on the right. I was pondering if I could naturally bring it up in conversation without being rude—“

“Aw, but you love being rude.”

Edwin’s flat stare caused giggles to flurry through Charles, who tried to quell them to better listen to the story, “—I had no interest in coming across as rude to a new acquaintance. He noticed me staring at the earring, unfortunately. He had already made some … interesting comments—“

Charles bristled, “Oi, what kind of interesting?”

Edwin somehow got redder and redder in the face by the second, “It’s unimportant to the story, Charles, now let me finish!” He waisted for Charles to nod before continuing, “Quite right. Now, Thomas had already complimented me and must have seen me as… I believe he thought that he and I were cut from similar cloth. He was all too glad to point out my staring at his jewellery, in front of Monty and all!, and tell me about its meaning. I was— mortified, to say the least. The proximity—“

“He made you uncomfortable? That wanker. What did you say his name was?” Charles couldn’t help himself—if someone was freaking Edwin out it was Charles who was going to bat, literally.

Edwin huffed, “He leaned in closer than I anticipated and whispered it to me. It caught me off guard. And considering he is a near stranger—yes, I was uncomfortable, but it is perfectly fine without any need for violence, Charles.”

Charles relaxed his grip on the cricket bat he kept at his nightstand, taking a deep breath to try and return to semi-peaceful. It was just him and Edwin, there was no present danger. If Edwin said it’s okay, he should trust him. Charles took another breath before responding, “Right. Well. If he ever does it again and you want to do something about it.”

Edwin’s soft smile returned, “Thank you, Charles. Though I do not believe it will come to that. But yes, that was my research at the time. I believe it was sometime during the infection that you admitted it was all for aesthetic purposes.”

Charles would usually get playfully riled up at that, but he was still keeping that anger bolted down in the basement of his mind so he decided against it. Naturally, he decided to return to jokes instead, “I can’t believe you were researching earrings just in case I was, what, a very late to the party traditional Indian baby? Or decided to pierce my eat instead of telling you I liked blokes? C’mon mate, have more faith in me than that!”

Charles must have said something wrong—Edwin’s fidgeting was back. The soft smile was all but gone, too, “Of course I do, I just— this was a while ago, and I—“ He sighed, running his hands through his usually perfectly gelled hair, looking directly at Charles for only a second, “Charles, I refuse to continue this conversation while you stand there in your boxers.”

Although tempted to poke fun at Edwin for being prudish, that was one of the issues he’d learned not to push—between his fucked up family and his general Edwin-ness, Charles had learned nudity, sex, and the like weren’t well-received. Maybe one of these days they could discuss all of that, but not today. They’d both had quite a lot of Feelings for today.

Charles resumed his usual grin, grabbing what he needed for a shower, “Well I’m showering before we continue, then. Am I all set to use the bathroom?”

Edwin waved him on, replacing his headphones and returning to his homework. Charles took the dismissal without issue and went to take his shower as intended—only stopping to stare at (the earring) himself in the mirror for a tad longer than normal. He’d never regret it based on how cool it looked, obviously, but still. Being kicked around for so long sometimes makes you wonder if it’s be easier to join the team.

Nah, fuck that. Those poor sods can’t even spell aesthetic, let alone understand it. The earring was part of him, and he still cuddled the warm feeling of Edwin’s care to his chest. Going through all that effort—well, not really effort to get flirted with by some bloke called Thomas—to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt Charles’s feelings? For not the first and definitely not the last time, Charles took a second to appreciate it—he really was lucky to have Edwin around.

[restoringsanity]

What's your thoughts on poc thinking they can't be racist?

Not sure if you’re going to like what I’m going to say - but, you asked for my thoughts, so you’ll get my thoughts.

First, I need to admit that I’m one of those people who prefer dictionary definitions of terminology. If we want to have conversations, we need to agree on what words mean, and that their definitions apply indiscriminately, following the same logic. We can’t have productive conversations any other way, because everything would get lost in semantics otherwise. Our definitions need to be globally applicable to some extent, as well. If ‘racism’ means something different in North America than it does in South America, Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe - the entire rest of the world essentially - we’re going to keep running into an abundance of obstacles, as well. As far as I (personally) am concerned, racism doesn’t need an updated or more specific definition. It’s plenty specific already.

But,I understand the need to specify the impact racism has on different groups of people.

This is important, so please pay attention.

Definition of Racism

Racism is the belief in the superiority of one race over another, which often results in discrimination and prejudice towards people based on their race or ethnicity. Today, the use of the term “racism” does not easily fall under a single definition.[1]

The ideology underlying racist practices often includes the idea that humans can be subdivided into distinct groups that are different due to their social behavior and their innate capacities as well as the idea that they can be ranked as inferior or superior.[2] The Holocaust is a classic example of institutionalized racism which led to the death of millions of people based on race.

While the concepts of race and ethnicity are considered to be separate in contemporary social science, the two terms have a long history of equivalence in both popular usage and older social science literature. “Ethnicity” is often used in a sense close to one traditionally attributed to “race”: the division of human groups based on qualities assumed to be essential or innate to the group (e.g. shared ancestry or shared behavior). Therefore, racism and racial discrimination are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis, independent of whether these differences are described as racial. According to a United Nations convention on racial discrimination, there is no distinction between the terms “racial” and “ethnic” discrimination. The UN convention further concludes that superiority based on racial differentiation is scientifically false, morally condemnable, socially unjust and dangerous, and there is no justification for racial discrimination, anywhere, in theory or in practice.[3]

Racist ideology can become manifest in many aspects of social life. Racism can be present in social actions, practices, or political systems (e.g., apartheid) that support the expression of prejudice or aversion in discriminatory practices. Associated social actions may include nativism, xenophobia, otherness, segregation, hierarchical ranking, supremacism, and related social phenomena.

(source)

Stipulative Definition of Racism

Prejudice plus power is a stipulative definition of racism often used by anti-racist educators, including the American pastor Joseph Barndt.[1] The definition was first proposed by Patricia Bidol, who, in a 1970 book, defined it as “prejudice plus institutional power.”[2]According to this definition, two elements are required in order for racism to exist: racial prejudice, and social power to codify and enforce this prejudice into an entire society.[1][3] Reasons cited in support of this definition include that power is responsible for the creation of racial categories, and that people favor their own racial groups over others.[4] The reaction of students to this definition tends to be mixed, with some thinking that it makes sense, and others perceiving it as an unfair redefinition of racism to portray whites in an unfairly negative light.[5] In 2004, Beverly Tatum wrote that many of her white students find it difficult to relate to this definition on a personal level, because they do not perceive themselves either as prejudiced or as having power.[3] The definition has been criticized by some academics for relying on the assumption that power is a zero-sum game, and for not accounting for the lack of uniformity in prejudicial attitudes.[6] Critics have also noted that this definition is belied by the fact that except in absolutist regimes, minorities, however disadvantaged they may be, are not powerless, because power is organized into multiple levels.[7]

(source)

What is a ‘stipulative definition’?

A stipulative definition is a type of definition in which a new or currently-existing term is given a new specific meaning for the purposes of argument or discussion in a given context. When the term already exists, this definition may, but does not necessarily, contradict the dictionary (lexical) definition of the term. Because of this, a stipulative definition cannot be “correct” or “incorrect”; it can only differ from other definitions, but it can be useful for its intended purpose.[1][2]

For example, in the riddle of induction by Nelson Goodman, “grue” was stipulated to be “a property of an object that makes it appear green if observed before some future time t, and blue if observed afterward”. “Grue” has no meaning in standard English; therefore, Goodman created the new term and gave it a stipulative definition.

Stipulative definitions of existing terms are useful in making theoretical arguments, or stating specific cases. For example:

*Suppose we say that to love someone is to be willing to die for that person.

*Take “human” to mean any member of the species Homo sapiens.

*For the purposes of argument, we will define a “student” to be “a person under 18 enrolled in a local school”.

Some of these are also precising definitions, a subtype of stipulative definition that may not contradict but only extend the lexical definition of a term. Theoretical definitions, used extensively in science and philosophy, are similar in some ways to stipulative definitions (although theoretical definitions are somewhat normative, more like persuasive definitions).[2]

Many holders of controversial and highly charged opinions use stipulative definitions in order to attach the emotional or other connotations of a word to the meaning they would like to give it; for example, defining “murder” as “the killing of any living thing for any reason”. The other side of such an argument is likely to use a different stipulative definition for the same term: “the unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought” or “the premeditated killing of a human being”. The lexical definition in such a case is likely to fall somewhere in between.

When a stipulative definition is confused with a lexical definition within an argument there is a risk of equivocation.

(source)

Now, what is the purpose of the stipulative definition of racism? I would conclude it’s to highlight the origin and impact of racism in the United States specifically. The stipulative definition of racism benefits the argument that people of color in the United States suffer more (and have suffered more) from racism against their group, than white citizens suffer (and have suffered) from racism against their group.

Personally, I don’t think whether or not people of color can be racist is a necessary question. It’s detrimental to the overall conversations we need to have, and the questions we need to answer. By lexical definition - yes, they can. By stipulative definition - their racism, while not defined as such in this specific instance, has a lesser impact in countries where white citizens are the majority.

The lexical definition of racism describes the act of racism within a sociological and anthropological context.The stipulative definition of racism describes the act of racism against a specific historical background, while highlighting prejudice as a motivator and power imbalances as an enabling force.

“I believe white people are collectively inferior and I hate every single one of them, but I’m not racist.” -> incorrect according to lexical definition-> ‘correct’ according to stipulative definition

We have to acknowledge that the stipulative definition of racism perhaps shouldn’t be abused to excuse unbridled hatred, seeing as how it benefits nothing and no one to do so, other than people who seek to excuse their hatred. I don’t think hate needs an excuse. It speaks for itself, regardless. Do I have empathy for a person of color expressing their frustration in a vitriolic manner? Yes. Without a doubt. Do I have sympathy? To a lesser degree. Do I choose to take their anger personally? No. I don’t have to. (I’m not a white American, anyway. But even if I was, I’m much less interested in getting upset than I am in bettering the world for everyone.)If someone tells you “I’m in pain, and it’s your fault!” the moral thing to do would be to find ways to address their pain first, then deal with their accusations later, if it’s at all necessary. Your methods should be rational, reasonable, and compassionate.The response of some white Americans to certain accusations is, quite frankly, embarrassing. If your response to someone expressing pain is self-flagellation, self-loathing and overabundant expressions of guilt - you’re not helping. Your pain doesn’t lessen the pain of others, it just adds to it. Your response has to be dignified and concise. I find it quite irritating to witness that political/societal discourse has become further obsessed with ‘whiteness’ in their attempt to deconstruct it. Just … focus, for fuck’s sake. Stop getting distracted by masturbatory hyper-wokeness. You can have all kinds of discussion on campus, that’s what it’s for, but outside of that bubble, you have to focus on the issues that many Americans still struggle with. (Yes, this entire post is US-centric, because the initial ask is.)The issues marginalized Americans deal with are issues of racism and classism - which, interestingly, is included in the stipulative definition of racism. It’s a matter of prioritizing according to impact. Poor white Americans have it rough, but poor people of color living in America are just profoundly fucked. You can, and you should address both. If your goal is 1, and you have two lesser instances, one at 0.75 and one at 0.25 you need and want to elevate both to 1. It just takes more effort to elevate one instance. Of course, either instance might elevate themselves by reducing one another to 0, but the total sum would be lesser. Or maybe I’m just bad at math, and this example sucks. Who knows.

There’s really no point in pushing each other down in our attempt at finding equal standing. Same as it’s useless to point fingers. It doesn’t really matter who is racist, or sexist, or anything like that - it’s about addressing the issues stemming from racism, sexism, etc. If a patient arrives in critical condition, your approach is symptomatic initially. As soon as their condition isn‘t critical anymore, then you can address the core problems.

Continuing on with the US-centrism - the American body still isn’t in stable condition. A festering infection has broken out recently (cough white supremacy cough), which is going to slow down the process of healing to a considerable degree. It can’t just be cut out, either. Whatever it has infected is part of the system, too. That’s why all of this is so fucking complicated.

Anyway, at this point I’m just rambling. It’s just very frustrating to observe, and while I have lived it to a certain degree, I certainly haven’t experienced it the exact same way. These are my thoughts on the issue.

To boil it down to a simple statement: What are my thoughts on people of color (in the U.S.) thinking they can’t be racist? Who cares? That’s not the issue. It’s a petty question, it’s a petty issue, it benefits no one.