#like you don’t even know one gay person on a close level

[hadesoftheladies]

the funny thing about people in the oppressor class is that they are so ignorant and entitled they genuinely believe that the oppressed are privileged in some way

a white person will complain about how “black people have all the jobs and they have a special privilege now because everyone hates the poor white man”

a man will say that he wishes he were a woman so “I can just cook and clean and let my guy bring home the bacon and stay with kids and not go to war and be given free drinks at the club”

and a straight person will say “you gays are so lucky that everything caters to you nowadays, I get so bullied for being straight because it’s ‘vanilla’”

they say this with no critical analysis of the nature of these systems in the first place, and they show they have no actual grasp on the real lived experiences that these people go through everyday. they’ll bring up shallow, niche scenarios that they themselves or a friend of a friend witnessed and run with that to the point of delusion saying “see? I told you these guys weren’t oppressed! It was us all along!”

racism still abounds in even more degrading levels today (blackness and “Asian girl” are now a porn categories that are accepted as morally okay, we’ve seen black kids shot for no reason and the white shooter gets more funding for the court case than the victims family), misogyny has reached astronomical heights on the internet alone (don’t even get me started on how lockdowns had women getting murdered by their husbands in faster rates and how predatory behavior in younger boys has become more prevalent, abortion rights are almost nonexistent nowadays), and gay people are still getting murdered brutally, in fact their rights are being revoked and in other countries, the judicial punishment is getting harsher.

you’re so privileged you don’t even know what privilege means because you’ve never had to fight for it and never lived without it

these people are so inhuman to you that you think their suffering is fun and you want the “experience” of it

fuck off sincerely

[sp0o0kylights]

Eyes wide, body frigid in terror, Eddie felt the sheer horror of the current situation sank in. 

He was at Gen Con. 

In their hotel.

With zero vacant rooms and one minor, Henderson created, screw up.

The room only had one bed in it. 

“It’s fine, we can share.” Steve said, brushing past.

Like this was not the life ending, earth shattering, soul rendering issue that it was.

“I can sleep on the floor.” Eddie croaked trying to remember how a normal person acted instead of someone whose stomach had just fallen out of their ass. 

“Nah, I did this all the time with the basketball team.” Steve said as Eddie actively regretted every single decision that had led to this point in his life.

“Hell this is even a king sized bed. We have plenty of space!” 

Steve did a goofy little spin jump, landing butt first on the bed and bouncing on it with glee. 

“Space, sure.” Eddie echoed. 

Hands shaking, eyes determinedly focused on anything but the ex-jock, Eddie found himself chanting a mantra over and over in his head.

One that would valiantly get him through the next weekend, God and D20's willing.

'I'm fine, this is fine, everything's fine...'

“I don’t have cooties, if that's what you're worried about.”” Steve waggled his eyebrows. "Here,  I’ll even let you have one of my pillows.”  

Said pillow was flung through the air, to smack Eddie dead in the face. 

'Fuck it." Eddie thought wildly. "I am NOT fine!'

And after Eddie got his hands on him, Dustin Henderson wouldn't be either.

xXx

“I am going to kill you.” Eddie snarled, the very second he could get Dustin alone.

“No you won’t, you love me too much.” Henderson dismissed, a smug little smirk in place. 

The absolute brat. 

“I do not, and if I did, I would take it back after this.” Eddie glanced around once again, beyond paranoid about discussing this in the open parking lot of a shitty hotel, but knowing he needed to get this under control, now. 

“What were you thinking!?” 

“That I read a really interesting zine about this exact scenario, mostly.” Dustin shrugged. “Worked out great for them, I thought I’d try it for you!” 

Eddie groaned, head flying back as he fisted both hands in his hair.

(if only to prevent himself from wrapping both hands around Dustin’s stupid throat.) 

“What did I tell you? This isn’t something you fuck with man!” 

“I know, but as I told you, Steve is perfect!” Dustin protested, and didn’t even have the decency to flinch when Eddie lost control and grabbed him by the collar. 

“Perfect!?” He sputtered, actually sputtered, shaking the fist that held Dustin's shirt captive. “Perfect!?” 

“Trust me on this--you have a crush on him, he desperately needs someone in his life--seriously, Eddie, it’s sad how he acts when he’s not dating--and you guys get along great now! What’s the problem!?”

“He’s straight!” Eddie shrieked, startling several onlookers. 

“Laced!” He added immediately after, in panicked afterthought. “He’s so straight laced we could never get him to agree to that plan!” 

Dustin leveled an unimpressed look at him. 

“Dude, really?”

“We are still in Indiana, Henderson.” Eddie said, then got close enough that he felt comfortable hissing the next part through clenched teeth.

“They don’t exactly care for the queers here, even at a place like this.” 

“Are you sure? Because the Con’s welcome packet has a few different panels that--”

Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face, letting go of his idiot, freshman friend's shirt to grab at his hair again. 

“Henderson, for once,” He pleaded, and maybe it was the sheer desperation in his tone or how upset he looked but either way Dustin seemed to finally realize how serious he was.

“just once, I need you to listen to me. You cannot let Steve know I’m gay. This is something that has to stay between us, especially now I’m sharing a bed with him.” 

Which Dustin knew, because Dustin was the one who’d called and changed the room. 

“But Steve’s--”

“Most likely bisexual, I heard you the first several times you said it, but you can’t just--assume that about someone!” Eddie was well and good on a rant now, two seconds away from pacing about. “Even if you’ve been to a salon with them!” 

He pointed firmly at Dustin’s stupid face (and the kid's equally stupid mouth) before he could once again insist Steve was into men purely based on how anal he was about his hair.

“Steve might be cool with--other people,” Eddie was unsure of who knew what about Robin, and was not about to hand Dustin another secret given how he was acting about this one, “but that does not mean he will be cool with me--or you, pimping him out, to me!” 

“I’m not pimping him out!” Offended, Dustin patted at his shirt where Eddie had previously been holding it. “Look I’m sorry, but--”

Eddie groaned, loud and dramatic. 

“But,” Dustin doubled down, “You trusted me with the whole, you know.” He waved his hands in some sort of vague, unreadable gesture. “Can’t you trust me about this?”

“I didn’t trust you with that, you barged into my room and then dug around my closet insisting your character notes got mixed in with mine when I was hi-sleeping!--and then read something personal!” 

The snort he got in return let him know Dustin was well aware he’d been high as hell, but that was neither here nor there, given what had happened after. 

When Dustin, rifling through Eddie’s closet, came across one of Eddie’s private notebooks. 

The ones that contained equally private stories, penned by Eddie's hand.

One of which might have had characters--who did not sound like Steve, thank you,-- and definitely not paired with a character based on Eddie himself. 

(“So Sir Sylvan Harrachtáin and Edwin Morningson are random names you pulled out of your ass, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“Sir Sylvan with his great hair and--what’s this? A horse named…Beamer?”

“Henderson so help me--” ) 

It may have led to the two of them growing closer instead of Eddie getting chased out of town with pitchforks, but that hadn’t stopped the sheer panic it had caused when he realized just what it was Dustin was reading. 

“Potato, tomato.” The little shit dismissed, and Eddie felt the urge to strangle him return in full force. “Look I get it--I promised I wouldn’t tell and I keep my promises. But since there aren’t any other rooms in our inn…”

Eddie looked at the sky, because if he saw the little dipshit wiggle his eyebrows in relation to himself and Steve Harrington, his new friend, who baked cookies with Jeff and once helped Grant jump his car, Eddie was going to lose his mind.

Loudly, and with much fanfare. 

“You owe me. Big time.” He declared to the clouds. 

He pretended not to hear the sigh that got him, either. 

“If you so say. Now can we go to the convention?" A whine crept into Henderson's voice. "Steve’s going to think we’re fighting.”

"Fine.” Eddie finally lowered his head to glare Dustin dead in the eyes.

“But to make my ire clear, Henderson? That magic sword your dwarf just acquired is gone. Disappeared. Vanished like a puff of smoke."

He made a ‘proof’ noise, hands spreading out as he did it. 

Dustin’s jaw dropped.

“What!? Eddie--” 

“Nope.

“Edd-iieeeee--”

“I’m not listening.” He plunged both fingers in his ears, walking determinedly towards one of the other three hotel rooms Hellfire had crammed themselves in. 

Wished desperately that he could manage to swap beds with Jeff, or Grant, or someone without making Steve feel like shit--which it would, because Eddie knew things like that about Steve now.

Behind him Dustin rampaged, which at least, made Eddie a little happier.

xXx

“We can switch rooms.” 

“What?” Eddie asked, startled out of his present thoughts (and the giant pile of D&D related papers spread in a circle around him.)

He turned to look up at Steve, who was hovering awkwardly behind him.

“You’ve been weird ever since you realized we’re sharing a bed. If it’s making you that uncomfortable we can just switch.” He shrugged, like saying that didn’t hurt him, even as the kicked puppy look holding court on his face very much screamed ‘emotional damage.’

"I have not!” Eddie twisted himself around immediately. "I am perfectly fine, thank you!"

Steve frowned down at him. 

“Eddie, this is the longest conversation I’ve had with you since we got here." Steve deadpanned. "I’d blame that on the whole, you know, nerd herd gathering, but it’s pretty clear that’s not it. I watched you literally turn around and walk the other way when you spotted me earlier." 

Shit.

"It's kinda obvious you're avoiding me." 

Shit, shit, shit!

“I'm not, promise!" Eddie lied. "I’m just--distracted. There’s just so much happening and it’s--a lot.”

He said it like the con was overwhelming, and not chaos he was positively thriving in. 

Steve searched his face.

“Alright," He said doubtfully, "but I mean it. Say the word and we can switch. I'm sure Jeff'll let me share a blanket or something."

Which was the last thing anybody needed, on grounds that Jeff would try and fix things.

(Jeff, bless him, had never been good at fixing things.)

Drumming up every acting skill he possessed, Eddie flashed two thumbs up in response, painting a fat grin on his face.

“We're all good Stevie. Besides, I’m going to be up late at so many panels, you won’t even notice me coming back. You're practically gonna have the room to yourself!"

Because that was exactly what he was planning on doing, the second he realized the convention itself could provide a nice, neat little way out in the form of two different late night panels.

Who needed sleep anyway? Not him!

"Okay." Steve said, somewhat mollified.

Crisis averted, Eddie dove back into his plans, distracting himself as best he could while trying to ignore that Steve had dropped onto the bed.

(One of those plans might have involved revenge on Henderson, and that one he gave special attention to.)

xXx

There were no late nigh panels.

“Not until tomorrow, my friend!” The jovial guy dressed in what Eddie was pretty sure was supposed to be a wizard costume told him. “We had a few but the folks running them got stuck in traffic, so we had to cancel."

He beamed, like he hadn’t just disintegrated Eddie's one and only escape plan.

"Besides, if you go to sleep now you can catch some of the early morning panels!”

As if he hadn't planned on rolling into them anyway, lack of sleep be damned.

“Can we go back now?” Gareth grumped to his right, the only person who’d agreed to stay out all night with him (and who was not a 14 year old who’d been overruled by Harrington.) 

"We could go find a room party?" Eddie hedged instead, as they made their retreat.

"Dude."

"Fine," He muttered, defeated. "We can go back."

To Steve. 

And the single bed. 

In his head, he plotted out Henderson's death.

Maybe he'd use fire.

Or sticks, or even a fricken--toy horse, or something...

xXx

He'd done it.

Changed into the oversized shirt he called sleep clothes, and crawled into bed like a completely normal, totally straight human being.

Had even done a remarkable job of laying perfectly still. Exactly how a normal, not panicking person slept!

'I'm fine, this is fine, everything's fine...'

Steve was laying next to him.

He had to of course, that's how a bed worked, and yet somehow, Eddie couldn't get past it.

Or the fact that the dick wasn't wearing a shirt to bed.

His thoughts chased each other in nervous little circles, anxiety gnawing on his gut like a favored bone as Eddie did his best not to move one single inch.

Pity that the thing about attending a large convention, was the sheer amount of walking, talking, and expending general energy one had to do.

Entirely against his will, Eddie fell asleep. 

He had been planning on laying awake in frigid terror all night, to prevent any possible way Steve might clock him, but his body had other plans.

Some of which involved sleeping like Eddie normally slept--arms hugging a pillow, head buried in it's soft, comfortable, kinda ticklish surface.

He rubbed his nose further into it as the tickling sensation increased, pulling him away from the sleep he hadn't realized he'd fallen into.

Grumbling, Eddie went to adjust his stupid pillow when he had the weirdest realization that it too, was moving.

Pillows, his sleep addled brain informed him, did not move.

Steve would, though.

"Fuck!" He screeched, flying up into a sitting position as he registered that he'd gone full octopus--cuddling Steve with all four limbs.

Steve flew awake, his own body flying up into a sitting position.

His mouth started moving a mile a minute, and it took Eddie a second to parse that Steve was still partially asleep as he let out a string of absolute nonsense about code reds and being upside down.

"Whoa!" Eddie said when the guy nearly fell out of bed. "Shit Steve, it's just me!"

"Eddie?" Steve asked, halfway out of bed. "Are we--is everything okay?"

"Yeah I--yeah." He grimaced, grabbing a strand of his hair and pulling it protectively over his face. "I think I woke you up."

"S'okay." Steve ran a hand through his hair, before slowly sinking back into the bed, alarm fading. "Are you okay? Nightmare?"

Eddie blew out a breath.

"Probably. It's fine, don't worry about it."

Steve eyed him doubtfully.

"If you're sure..."

Eddie gave him a wobbly smile back, patting the space on the bed next to him as he made himself lay back down. "Promise. I'm--I'm sorry, I guess maybe I should have slept elsewhere..."

That did it.

"You're good. Startled me is all." Steve let out a sort of forced chuckle before laying back down. "I overreacted."

Eddie hummed, not trusting himself to say anything as the two of them settled back down.

It did not escape him that unlike most people who'd been rudely woken up in the middle of the night, Steve didn't try to keep any distance between them.

No, he had to scoot closer, like he needed to know his friend was near. 

Eddie squeezed his eyes closed and prayed for death.

"I get nightmares too, sometimes." Steve admitted in the following quiet and oh, God, no, Eddie could not do an emotional late night talk right now.

"They definitely suck." He said flatly, before rolling over to face the opposing wall. "Night Stevie."

Steve snorted, but it sounded amused instead of hurt.

Eddie sighed quietly in relief as he too, turned away to face the wall.

He could do this. He just had to make sure he didn't screw up and fall asleep again, and everything would be...

Perfectly...

...fine.

xXx

"--ddie, you're on my arm man."

"Wha?"

"My arm." That was Steve, Eddie's brain dutifully identified as it crawled it's way to consciousness. Steve who was his friend now, and was also talking very close to his ear. 

"Also my leg. And torso."

"You have a nice torso." Eddie mumbled thoughtlessly. 

Why was Steve here? They were doing something that should have been stressing him out, was stressing him out, but it was hard to think when he was this tired.

"Thanks," Amusement threaded it's way through Steve's voice, "but I'm going numb here. You have a hell of a grip."

Eddie frowned, the words sludging through the fog, until finally, the dots connected.

Eyes opening wide, he carefully took stock of the position he once again found himself in--wrapped around Steve like the guy was the only life raft left.

Oh my God.

"Shit sorry--" Steve oof'ed as Eddie smacked an elbow into his ribs as he let the poor man go, madly scrambling to get as far away as possible.

He tried to apologize for that, but was too busy fighting the bedsheets to get anything out. 

"Eds." Steve laughed, grabbing him as Eddie tangled them both up. "Calm down."

"I'm calm!" He protested, far too loudly, limbs flying every which way as he tried in vein to get the fuck away.

Stupid sheets-!

"Eddie." Two heavy hands came down on his shoulders, Steve having managed to get himself into a sitting position. "It's alright."

"It's not Steve." Eddie spat, and then panicked harder because fuck, that is not what he should have said.

"Hey, easy." Steve was talking quieter now, hands squeezing gently, like Eddie was some kind of spooked wild animal and fuck, he was really losing it here.

"I mean it. We're at the convention, remember? We're sharing a hotel room and you have a bunch of dorks and dumbass things to do in like, two hours."

Eddie violently shrugged him off.

"I know that!"

Steve, somehow, did not take offense to the very aggressive tone that had been snarled in. 

"Then you know you can breath for a moment. Seriously, you look like you're gonna pass out."

Which was probably true, given the rapid, rabbiting beat of his heart.

"Is this what you were worried about?" Steve added, as Eddie finally freed himself from the damn sheets. "That you have nightmares?"

“It's not nightmares.” Eddie spat instantly, chest heaving.

His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and he was exhausted to the point where he wanted to cry about it.

God did being gay suck.

“Then--what? That you cuddle in your sleep?” Steve was teasing, Eddie knew Steve was teasing but that was too on the nose. “Dude trust me, Tommy was an octopus growing up. I don’t care.”

“No it’s not, that, exactly--”

"So what is it then, exactly?"

Too. Fucking. Close.

"Drop it Steve--"

Emotions rose like a tidal wave, all encompassing. Overwhelming. 

"I would if you weren't clearly upset about something--" 

He lost control. 

“I’m gay!” Eddie yelled.

Then he clapped a hand over his mouth, like he hadn’t just panicked himself out of the closet. 

It died. 

The crazy, huge emotions. The way he'd been fighting himself, tooth and nail, the panicked thoughts that were zooming around his brain.

“I didn’t say that.” He said, eyes wide.

Steve blinked.

“I mean, you kinda did.”

Eddie shook his head.

“Nope. No. I said, I said--”

“That you’re gay.” Steve finished, then frowned when Eddie flinched. “Dude it’s okay--”

“Is it, Steve!?” He interrupted, hand finally falling from his mouth. “Is it? Because if you ask half the people at this convention--who are my kind of people and understand I’m not shilling souls to satan--if it's okay!? They'd say no!"

Tears pressed against his eyes, a reaction he hated that he had.

"They'd say no, and then they'd try to kick my ass for sleeping in the same bed as them!" 

A tear escaped and he swiped angrily at it. 

“I’m okay with it.” Steve said quietly, which had the effect of making Eddie shut up. “And those people suck.” 

The laugh that escaped Eddie's mouth was brittle.

Bitter.

He turned his head away from Steve, angry that he’d gone and admitted the very thing he knew better than ever speaking aloud. 

“Yeah well, I didn't think you would be, given how you used to accuse anyone and everyone of being a queer loser right along with the rest of the basketball team.”

Which wasn't fair, exactly--Eddie knew Steve had changed. Had seen it in the way he and Robin talked quietly about Will, when they thought no one could overhear.

(A habit Eddie would break them of, if he and Steve made it out of here as friends, still.) 

He wasn't Will though, and Will wasn't the one presently sharing a bed with Steve.

“That’s because we were all making out with each other at away games.” It was said so fucking quick Eddie briefly thought he hallucinated it.

Lucky for him, Steve wasn't done. 

“Robin thinks that whole thing was some kind of group denial. Like if we made enough of a thing out of it we could all pretend we didn’t have our hands down each others pants all the time. I am not exactly on speaking terms with that group anymore.”

He shrugged like that his fall from grace hadn’t been the center of the rumor mill for most of his senior year, and came with a lot of shit talking at his expense.

“But I can still prove it to you, if you’d like.” 

Shock--and six million thoughts-- hit Eddie like a mack truck. 

‘You’re lying/No way/that makes so much fucking sense/how did that even start/was it every game/whose pants exactly did you have your hands down and how do you feel about my pants--’ 

“How?” Eddie got out, sounding only slightly strangled. 

“Well--you’re here. I’m here."

And then Steve gave him a smile Eddie had only ever seen aimed at women, a slow lazy curl of the mouth that implied a hell of a lot.

"I'm fine with making the math work."

Maybe he was dreaming this.

(Eddie pinched himself and found that somehow, he was not.)

“I realize I don’t look like it, but I don't the whole casual kissing thing." Eddie blurted out. "Hasn't exactly gone well for me."

He regretted it the second it left his mouth. 

That was sharing too much of himself. The vulnerable gooey part who'd kissed a few girls (and even, once, a guy) and found he couldn't for the life of him make such things casual.

Plus Steve was kind of a good friend now, and Eddie had a crush so big that doing this and then never doing it again would kill him, and--

(and, and, and…) 

“It can mean something if you’d like.”

What.

“What?” 

Eddie stared at him.

Steve stared back. 

“Steve Harrington." He said flatly. "Are you trying to get in my pants?”

‘I will rip them off right here and now if you are,’ He thought wildly, like he hadn’t just tried to die on some “it has to be meaningful” hill. 

(Sue him, he was a horny teenager who'd just learned sex might be on the table, he could change his mind.

It totally wouldn’t tear his heart apart after either!

Nope, not his, made of steel Eddie’s heart was--) 

Steve raised his hands in the “don’t shoot” pose, looking all too pleased with himself. 

“Hey, you can’t fault a guy for trying. But,” and here he dropped the flirty little grin, which Eddie was only now realizing he was utilizing, “I meant it. I'm not opposed to trying this out, with you."

Trying? What the hell did that mean!?

Steve hadn't stopped talking.

"I won’t take it anywhere if you don’t want to though, don't worry.

Then he tilted his head and added; “I can also leave if that made you uncomfortable. Robin keeps telling me I can’t flirt with men like I flirt with women and--” 

“No.” Eddie’s mouth betrayed him yet again, terrified Steve might talk himself into leaving. “No--you offered!”

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“I did.”

“To have--” God Eddie couldn’t even say the words, “with me?” 

Somehow that last part came out as a question, and Eddie planned immediately to throw himself out of a window.

The grin was coming back. “Yes. With you.” 

“And it would…mean something?”

That was pushing it, Eddie knew that was pushing it, but it was like he couldn't stop himself.

This whole thing was now a runaway train and he'd ride it to it's inevitable wreck.

“For me it would.” Steve said, raising himself up on his knees. 

He inched forward, planting his hands down on the bed, face awfully close to Eddie’s own. 

“I don't like doing things anymore without it meaning something. To be honest, I don’t think I ever did. Besides, Robin's right."

"About?" Eddie asked, goin cross-eyed as Steve leaned ever so much closer.

"That when I say I admire you, or I miss you, or that I want to see you, I'm not exactly meaning it in a friend way."

Oh.

"Oh." Eddie said dumbly.

Steve closed the distance, mouth first. 

They were kissing.

Stars exploded in the sky. Fireworks went off outside, birds sang, people cheered--

(Eddie bit Steve’s lip, twice, in some sort of overexcited maneuver before he was gently guided into Steve’s lap, the ex-jock twisting to lay back down and bringing Eddie with him. 

It was smoothly done, a slow maneuver, and Eddie had to go and ruin that too by ripping his mouth off Steve’s to press sloppy kisses all down his neck. 

Thankfully Steve did not shove him off for that, or the hickie he definitely left on that stupid, tan neck, instead arranging them once again until things, finally, started to be less frantic. 

It was the best night of Eddie's life.)

xXx 

“So what does mean something involve, in this little situation we have here?” Eddie said some odd amount of time later, cuddled happily against a now naked Harrington. 

“I’m not supposed to say boyfriends.” Steve mumbled into Eddie’s shoulder. “Scares people off."

Apparently he was the type to need naps immediately after having the naked kind of fun. 

“Who the fuck told you that?” Eddie reached down, lacing their hands together tightly.

Steve kissed his shoulder. 

“We haven’t even gone on a proper date yet.” He said, rather than responding directly.

“We can’t, Steve, or did you forget where we live?”

Another kiss, this one turning into a grin when it made Eddie shudder. 

“Oh we absolutely can. I’ll prove it to you. Next Friday?” 

It took him a moment--a stupidly long moment, for someone who prided himself as a wordsmith--but Eddie got it. 

A smile exploded over his face. 

“Next Friday." He said. "It’s a date.” 

(A very long time later, Henderson would find out about all this and gloat about this so hard he’d fall off the steps of Eddie’s trailer. 

Eddie would only let him live on grounds that Steve was also there at the time, and was worried about Dustin’s ankle.

This did not stop Eddie from standing above the little shit, announcing karma would one day get him soon, and if not, than Max Mayfield, who absolutely could be bribed into committing murder.)

This was the bonus for Door Prize/Sugar, Spice (and Everything Dicey) which can be read in it's entirely here: LINK

[alphajocklover]

1,000 Followers Special: Douchebag Revolution, The Revolution Begins

I’ve never claimed to know all the details about the strange things I report on. I know more about the world of transformations than most people, and even most other TF reporters, but I don’t know everything. I don’t know who made InstaJock, I don’t know what about the town of Maxford turns people within it into straight jocks, and I don’t know why wishing on a specific star turns people into jocks, even if it is some sort of magical supernova. Even the Douchebag Revolution, one of the groups I’m on good terms with, has its secrets. As loud, dumb — and if I’m being honest, obnoxious — as the members of the revolution can be, they are surprisingly skilled at keeping secrets. They tend to ‘prank’ me and other reporters with fake info, which makes getting any information out of them like pulling teeth. With a lot of persistence, and a bit of bribery, I have been able to get some interesting info out of them though. Including the true story of how the revolution began. It was told to me by one of my contacts in the revolution, and confirmed by another outside the revolution, so I’m sure it’s true. I won’t be retelling the story word for word, due to some of the… stylistic choices made by the douchebag who told me it, but I’ll do my best to do it justice.

As some of you might remember, the Douchebag Revolution was formed to fight against SAD, the Society Against Douchebags. The mysterious group were using futuristic technology and time travel to transform straight douchebags into gay nerds. That might not sound so bad, especially considering the other stuff I’ve reported on, but messing around with time is dangerous, especially on such a scale. No one, not even the revolution, knows why they go to such lengths, or why they want to get rid of douchebags so badly in the first place. There are theories out there, but even for me they’re a little out there. What is known is that they were transforming douchebags into nerds left and right before the revolution began. From what I understand it actually looked like they were close to getting rid of douchebags entirely for a moment. Until they messed with the wrong guy. Or, I suppose, the wrong brothers.

Despite having a 2 year age difference between them, Chase and Mike Hayfield were practically twins. They had the same hobbies, the same interest, and were even the same height and weight, something the younger Mike would often tease the older Chase about. They were as close as brothers could be, and loved each other dearly. That was why it was a shock to both of them when they realized that their close relationship was never meant to be. Before SAD got involved, Chase was nothing like Mike. Chase was a classic, muscular, douchebag jock, one who basically despised his nerdy fag little brother Mike. Neither brother would have been aware of this… if they hadn’t used Chase’s blood for one of their experiments. SAD’s nanobots, the ones that had changed Chase’s DNA and brain chemistry as he grew, were designed to be invisible to almost all tests. But due to their experiment, and the fact that Chase was one of their earliest victims, Mike was able to discover the nanobots, and use them to get information about SAD. Each brother was horrified, but for completely different reasons. Chase was horrified at the person he was supposedly ‘supposed’ to be. He hated douchebags, and the thought of hating his own brother made him feel sick, made him want to run and hide from the truth they had discovered. Mike, however, was horrified that someone had been manipulating his brother’s life. He believed that no one should be able to manipulate someone's life like that, to change them on such a level without permission or even letting the person know what they had lost. He was scared he’d lose his big brother… but he wanted his big brother to be who he really was. He could see that a part of Chase, a part of him he wasn’t even aware of, missed who he used to be, and he was the one who convinced Chase to take the cure they synthesized. Mike Hayfield, a complete nerd, was the one who started the Douchebag Revolution.

Most douchebags actually get a little pissed when someone brings this up. I mean, they got saved from a bunch of fucking scientist by a ‘nerdy fag.’ But most of them don’t say anything. They don’t want to insult their leader after all. Chase Hayfield may be a huge douchebag, but he never lets anyone insult his little brother.

**Hope you guys like this! I actually had a hard time writing this one, but I'm glad how it turned out. Stay tuned for more!**

[vyrewolf]

As much as I wanted to, I could never buy into the 2004 mean girls lesbian reading - Cady always just felt too straight, and Regina was too nastily homophobic to Janis for me to personally be able to read her as a lesbian with internalized homophobia. My lesbian heart wanted to buy into it so very bad but I just couldn’t.

But mean girls 2024?? Oh boy they got me. They got me by my dykish little throat. Those gay musical theatre ass bitches managed to give me toxic doomed yuri in my mean girls movie!!!

Anyways funny part of the post is over allow me to over analyze:

Janis is a lesbian - she always was and we already knew that and I’m so glad they weren’t cowards and committed to giving her a girlfriend for prom this time. Janis and Regina were close friends who started to realize they liked eachother and while Janis was comfortable with that Regina wasn’t which lead to the whole ordeal with spin the bottle and with the beanie baby and the pride pin which leads me to…

Regina is a lesbian with some deeply internalized homophobia. We see it with the way she treats Janis but keeps the pride pin WHICH by the way is like fanfiction levels of toxic doomed yuri and I appreciate it so much. She has all this popularity and control over the school that she’s so afraid of loosing which causes her to act nasty and bitchy and her being a lesbian can absolutely fit into this - being outed as a lesbian would hurt her popularity and reputation and so she throws Janis away and ruins that relationship, and as she grows older and matures she gets stuck in this toxic mindset where I feel like she knows deep down she’s a lesbian but she’s not letting herself acknowledge it because she knows what embracing that would do to her social life. HOWEVER she’s toxic and absolutely still uses her hot dom lesbian energy to enact control over her friends who are all very down bad for her which leads me to…

Cady - bisexual home schooled jungle freak who starts normal high school and realizes what romantic attraction feels like and doesn’t really know what to do with those feelings- did y’all see the way she looked at Regina’s titties during that seduction scene, we all saw it right?? (And yes I’m calling it a seduction scene because even if you don’t read it as a sexual seduction that’s the term I’ve been taught to use for a villain confrontation where the villain is trying to convince the hero to join their side - seduction as opposed to threat - fun fact from film school) Cady wants to be like Regina, she WANTS regina, and Regina’s absolutely aware of that but is so buried in her persona and internalized homophobia that instead of acknowledging and reciprocating those feelings in a healthy way she kind of half reciprocates them enough to lead Cady on but not enough to treat Cady well which leads to this relationship dynamic where Regina is pretty much benefiting off of the way her unacknowledged lesbianism is enacting control over her friends who are all down bad for her which leads me to…

Gretchen - you can’t tell me that girl isn’t in a horrific one sided situationship with Regina especially after her song!??? That girls WANTS REGINA SO BAD and Regina knows that and again exploits that somewhat unintentionally because she can’t acknowledge her own identity. Gretchen is what Cady very well could have became in a different reality where Cady didn’t have Janis and Damien’s perspective to help her realize what she’s gotten herself into and lead to the conclusion of the film.

ANYWAYS I’m a cadina truther because Janis and Gretchen both have been hurt by Regina and deserve better but that doesn’t mean that Regina doesn’t deserve better either and I thoroughly believe that after the events of the film Cady helps Regina work through her shit and Cady gets the hot dom gf Regina was meant to be

As for Aaron I can absolutely believe that Cady is genuinely attracted to him I don’t think it’s a case of Cady likes Regina but doesn’t realize and so redirects her feelings into a man (tho I also totally support that reading) but dude that guy is so bland there’s no way that relationship lasts.

Tldr a lot of Regina’s behavior and relationships can be explained by her internalized homophobia and the way she somewhat benefits off of the control she gets over her friends who have feelings for her and Cady helps her break the pattern and become a better person

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

It is not even that Mlvns are homophobic. I mean, many of the toxic ones are. We’ve all seen them and interacted with them and received hate anons from them. When Noah’s article officially confirming Will’s sexuality dropped during the summer, people were literally tweeting slurs and fantasizing about him being hate-crimed or dying from AIDS. (It’s probably unfair to group Mlvns in with these people, as lots of them weren’t even Mlvns, just bigoted GA members and trolls). But still. It was bleak. There’s a deep darkness within the ST fandom undeniably.

But I’m sure many Mlvns/Byler-antis are the types of people who genuinely have no problem with queer people in real life. When we call them out on their bigotry and homophobia, they get confused and say, “But I have gay friends! How am I homophobic for not liking Byler?” And they mean it 100%. They really do have gay friends. They probably consider themselves allies and yada yada.

The issue is that A) they are deeply heteronormative without realizing it, and B) they simply aren’t the target audience for the show, and as such, they don’t really understand or connect to the themes of the show. The thing is, lots of people, many Milkvans included, are simply normies. Now I love Steve as a character, so this is literally no hate to Steve, but lots of people are Steves. And people who are like Steve: popular, straight, attractive, used to dating the types of people they want, into ‘normal’ interests like sports (not that Steve is hyper into sports, but you know what I mean), likely to go down ‘normal’ paths and live fairly conventional lives like their parents, etc. are simply not the target audience for the show.

Obviously, the show centers on outcasts, nerds, queer characters, characters with disabilities, black characters, etc. Most people recognize this on some level, but they recognize it in more of a general sense like, “Of course the protagonists are nerds/outcasts, just like all the classic 80s teen protagonists. I just love how nostalgic ST is!” And they leave it at that. Because they are normies, they don’t really connect to the themes of the show other than a surface-level, power of friendship sense. They don’t see how Byler is more aligned with the show’s message than Milkvan at this point. They don’t see that the outcast status of most of the characters is more than just a throwaway personality trait… its deeply integral to the point of the show itself and closely connected to the supernatural storyline.

This is because nerd culture is somewhat mainstream now, and lots of “normies” like it too. Star Wars, Marvel, LOTR, Harry Potter, etc. These are all major parts of society and billion dollar franchises, even more so than they were in the 80s. Because of this, people don’t realize that in the context of the world of the show, they wouldn’t have been friends with the Party most likely. It is far more statistically likely that they would’ve rolled with Angela’s friend group or joined Jason’s human hunting squad. Or even if they weren’t outright bullies, it’s far more likely that they would’ve been one of the nameless background characters in Hawkins High, just kind of floating by in a conventionally comfortable existence, entirely oblivious to government lab conspiracies and alternate dimensions. The characters in ST are outcasts in a deeper, existential sense. Society is against them.

And so many people can’t relate, especially to the queer themes. They can’t even see the queer themes. Because the show is not for them. That’s why you see so many baffling takes on the show:

“Will is so whiny all the time, and I don’t like him!”

“Mike was right in the rain fight! S3 is about growing up, and Will was acting like a baby.”

“Tbh I don’t care that much about the Party dynamics. My favorite part of the show is Steve and Dustin being funny together. And my second favorite part is Hopper being a cool action hero.”

“B*lly is overhated! I mean, he’s so hot and misunderstood! He could’ve redeemed himself.”

“I don’t get Byler. It barely seems like Mike and Will are even friends.”

To be clear, it doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy the genre of the show. Being horror/sci-fi, its core fans are a smaller pool of people than, say, fans of The Office or Friends or other popular sitcoms. So the Mlvns who watched it since the beginning probably do have some avant-garde tastes in terms of genre-preferences, since lots of people wouldn’t touch horror with a ten-foot pole. But it does mean they don’t pick up on the themes of the show and the arc of the characters.

(Of course, many newer fans now are just watching it cause it’s popular, regardless of which genres they typically prefer. This opens the show up to lots of people who don’t connect to anything about the show, not just its themes but also its darker content. A lot of newer fans sound like this: “Like, I just love that Mike was in love with El from the day he found her in the woods, and it’s so cute that El is Mike’s superhero, and Eddie is so cool and badass; I wish he could’ve told Chrissy how he felt, and I’m anxiously awaiting S5 to see who Nancy chooses but I hope she chooses Steve… Stancy 4ever!” This is because Stancy is like every other conventionally attractive couple in media).

I’m rambling, but a lot of people are into Milkvan because of their expectations that “pretty boy and pretty girl go together,” and that’s all there is to it. Finn is attractive and Millie is attractive, and they play the protagonists, so of course Mike and El are endgame. Why wouldn’t they be? This is true for the girls who project themselves onto Millie and see Finn/Mike as a dream boyfriend, and it’s true for the guys who project themselves onto Finn and who would want nothing more than to have a cool, superpowered girlfriend.

This is the way of nature. In a normie worldview, there’s no deviation from this path. A lot of fans basically take The Kissing Booth/To All the Boys I Loved Before and slap a sci-fi/horror filter on it, and they think that’s what Stranger Things is. It’s a cool show where kids fight monsters, and there are normal, heterosexual romances like Mlvn to root for, and there’s a badass superhero main character at the center.

Oh, there’s a gay character too? Well, that’s weird. I mean, y’all already have Robin, but whatever. I’m not homophobic! I’m cool with Will being gay… as long as he stays over there. Oh, he’s in love with Mike? Well, that’s even weirder. Why would the writers do that? I suppose that’s fine, as long as it’s just a little crush, and as long as it doesn’t get in the way of “the main storyline” and my OTP. I’m not homophobic, I swear! I have gay friends!

And they do. And they might not actively be against LGBTQ+ people in real life. They may really be telling the truth. But because they are Steves, this is where heteronormativity comes into play and blinds them. Main couples in shows are always straight, so the cool sci-fi, monster show they love must also be. They’re fine with Kevin Kellers, but queer Mike doesn’t fit the box that they allot to gay characters. So Mike must be the straightest character of all time to fight back against “weird delusional Byler theories” that would “come out of nowhere.” It’s not that they’re actively anti-gay; it’s that they are profoundly closed-minded and have a very myopic view of sexuality/storytelling/their favorite characters/their favorite shows. This is very similar to the XO, Kitty situation and people who were upset that Kitty was ‘suddenly’ bi and had a crush on Yuri.

WHAT?! Where did this come from? I thought I was watching a normal rom-com! I was fine with the gay characters on it who were clearly televised from the beginning! But Kitty? No! Kitty’s my self-insert. How can she like girls too? It must be a phase and be “less real” than her male love interests. This isn’t Heartstopper. The same weird energy is present in the ST fandom.

Byler being semi-canon isn’t seen as confirmation of a love triangle; it’s seen as a disruption to the norm and the foregone conclusion that Mike and El will be together forever and get married and have telekinetic children because the show owes that to them for all they’ve been through. “But why is Will inserted into their scenes?” we ask them, begging them to see reason. “Idk, but he should know his place and stop being a homewrecker and go find a new boy to like. Just leave the soulmates alone. Mike has already made clear he’s straight and that Will is nothing more than a friend. He said it in the roller rink!” This is how heteronormativity works.

That’s why Byler endgame will be so important because it will shatter preconceived notions and open people’s eyes to the beautiful tapestry of humanity. And they will see that this powerful, queer, coming-of-age, love story was right there, under their noses, in their “fun sci-fi monster show” this whole time. *Mind Blown*

[my-only-way-tocooperatewithlife]

Promises- Charles Leclerc

Welcome back everyone. First of all, I would love to thank you All for all the love and support that my blog has received in the past two month. I have never expected in my wildest dreams that you will like the How your life can change with a call story. Thank you really. ❤ All those comments, likes, reblogs they mean sooo much to me. Hope you will like this one too, I have some up in my sleeves left. Love you Kiki ♥

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have known each other for years, you are best friends. But none of you are lucky with love. So after a midnight you two made a promise, that got kind of forgotten over the years. Or at least that's what you have thought.

Warnings: overall fluff with a little hint of angst, best friend to lovers, alcohol usage, swears, , rom-com vibes, smut, mentione of cheating

Masterlist

Promise (noun): a verbal commitment by on person to another agreeing to do

“Guess who got cheated on?” You stopped at the edge of the dock, kicked off your shoes and picked it up from the tarmac while dropped your bag on the dark wooden flooring before continuing your way to the central area of the boat, where you stepped over the couch and sat between your girlfriends as the other five friends were sitting around in different furnitures holding cups with different beverages. They were waiting on you continuing your rant about that blonde haired bank worker bastard, who you have already thought is cheating on you but tonight this intuition turned into a real thing when you walked into his place finding him having a romantic dinner with someone else. “Oh don’t you dare to start that something was already suspicious about that man, and I did not deserve him or the girl is probably not even close to the level that I’m on and shit like this. Because, here comes the good part. It was not a woman he cheated me with, it was his colleague, a dude.” You were animatedly gesticulating, everyone was listening to you attentively and quietly till you finished and then all of them said the same thing at the same time.

“No fucking way.” 

“Can you imagine how embarrassing is it for me? Like first it’s embarrassing and infuriating to get cheated on. I would add it in a bracket that it’s not my first time to be in a situation like this, but with a guy? And I can still top it off, it was not that they were having a romantic candle lit dinner, but they were all over each other, and clothes were missing. I thought today I will see a man’s private part, hah jokes on me. I got two..” You were mortified by the whole story and you even felt worse when you were telling about your friends, because it was the time when it finally hit you what happened. Your pulse was drumming in your ears, your breath quickened as you were finished with your monologue, waiting for the group to answer something.

“Maybe they just wanted a threesome.” Your friend Eric snorted as he made the joke. You looked at him unamused and pushed him on his shoulders.

“And I would not have had a problem with it, if I knew for sure that I’m the one they are into and not each other.” You shrugged and got up from the couch walking all the way to the small fridge. “Do I look that miserable, that I can’t find a normal guy who is not lying, or turns out to be gay…”You turned around leaning back to the counter looking at the group sitting in front of you, all of them were quietly staring back at you. “ Oh fuck off.” You rolled your eyes before they started to laugh. 

“You are really pushing this whole dating thing. Be more relaxed. It will come when you have the time for it, okay?” One of your girl friends, Sammy walked closer to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder as she leaned closer and kissed your cheeks. “You are beautiful, intelligent, funny and loyal. Guys are just dumb. But don’t give up, and you know what we say? No boys, no problem.”

“That’s true as no girls, no problem! “Eric shouted from the other side of the boat.

“Dude, have you heard of the phrase who is eavesdropping will get older quicker?” Sammy shouted back at him.

“Look at Leclerc, since he is single again, he seems so much happier.” Eric picked up the small red ball from his feet and threw it at his friend, which perfectly hit the back of his neck. Charles lifted his gaze up from his cup with a grin, as he lifted up his left hand with his middle finger and flipped off our friend. “And he spends more time with us than we can spend on his boat. It's an all win-win situation, my boy!” Charles was chuckling and shaking his head side to side.

“So, Eric, are you gonna open that tequila that you have been singing odes about?” Charles threw the small ball back at his friend. 

You were sitting at the tip of the boat, looking straight ahead of you, watching how the moon’s light flickers on the surface of the sea. It was calm, it made you feel calm as well. Some lights were on in some boats in the port, you could hear people chatting away as they were walking in the sea shore. The bass of the music quietly emerges from downstairs.

“Are you not cold?” The voice made you jump in your seat and you whipped your head around, seeing Charles warmly smiling down at you as he was having a hoodie draped over his left arm, as he had two bottles of beer in his right hand. “I brought you one of my hoodies, and beers if you want to talk about the evening or just in general.”

“Thank you Perceval.” You smiled at him and took the hoodie away from him. He rolled his eyes with a smile and sat down next to you. You knew each other since high school, you just moved here from France with your parents. He was the first kid when you stepped in the classroom who instantly went to you and introduced himself to you, just before dragging you all the way to the other side of the room, so he can introduce all of his friends to you. Who turned to be your friends too afterwards. Your group of friends stuck together even after Charles left for the F1 Academy, you have spent the summers together. When you graduated and most of you started to work, and did your licenses you went to most of Charles races that were close to you, cheering him on all the eight of you. 

“Are you okay?” He nudged you with his shoulder, you turned your head to look at him. He was quietly studying your face. 

“I just realized that I do push this whole dating thing. I did not even like that dude. He was just there to make me feel less alone. How pathetic.. ” You said with a sigh and turned your gaze away from his eyes and looked back in front of you, fixing your gaze at the water again. “Sometimes I guess I can be a little jealous seeing everyone with their partners. Like when we go to your races and I’m the only one sitting alone, or when we go out for dinner, and I’m the only one who does not belong to someone. And don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy when my friends are happy. I love to look at them being in love. I was so happy when I saw you happy in a relationship. It just sucks sometimes you know..” you turned your head his way and saw that he was looking at you, studying your face quietly. He was watching you the whole time, and as you turned his way he looked in your eyes and pulled his lips to a small smile and nodded.

“I get what you say. And it’s understandable, we are at the age when we want something serious, that we can build our life on.” He caressed your shoulder softly.” Do you still remember what we have promised to each other?” He popped the lids off the beer bottles and handed one over to you. 

“I’m not eating chocolate and drinking in front of you when you are having your race weekends?” You looked at him puzzled which he just answered with a small chuckle. “Or I’m not drinking whiskeys anymore, and I’m not putting on that Ferrari red stiletto high heels that makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth but kills my feet in two minutes so you have to carry me home?”

“We have had this conversation before, you are the sexiest woman on Earth and it does not matter if you have those high heels on or not. “He clinked his beer bottle to yours and both of you took a swig of your drinks. “But I was thinking about something else. We have agreed on something five years ago on new years eve.” You looked at him with your brows furrowed, and tilted your head to the side. 

“No way you still remember that…” your mouth opened once you realised what he was talking about. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ New year’s Eve of 2018 ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“Perceval…” you screamed as you saw your best friend coming out of the crowded house. You stepped closer to him, but the amount of alcohol and the choice of shoes did it’s magic so you ended up falling into his arms, he grabbed on your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “It’s ten minutes before the countdown.”

“Bunny, no need to scream in my ears.” he giggled and helped you back on your feet, and kept his hand on the side of your hips to keep you steady. Probably the last three gin tonics and those other two tequila shots were probably not that necessary. 

“Another year has ended and I’m single, I think it’s a curse.” You sighed dramatically, and leaned back on the railings.”

“Oh come on, don’t be this dramatic.” He rolled his eyes, and picked two champagne flutes from the server’s plate. Handing over one for you.

“You don’t get it, I have had everything planned. Like I’m twenty now, in two months I will turn twenty one. I have planned that I want to have a serious relationship till my mid twenties, so I can start to have a family before I turn thirty. I have it planned, Charles.” You were animatedly gesticulating as he was watching you with an amazed look on his face. “I need to find a guy like you. I need someone to have the same personality as you, and most of your handsomeness.” 

“Bunny, I’m not surprised that you have planned it.” He chuckled. “Okay, I have an idea. We still have five years till we turn twenty five. In February 2022 our deal starts, we have six months from that to find someone that we can imagine to start a family. If we are single in September, we will get together.”

“You are crazy dude.” You laughed with your head tilted back. “I know for sure that you won’t be single.”

“Maybe, who knows. We have five years till that. So what do you say? Can we make this promise to ourselves? You know that I keep promises” People started to gather around you on the balcony, everyone was pretty drunk just as you two. Most of the crowd had some type of alcohol in their hands, mostly champagne. “Countdown will start soon Bunny, so you have to make a choice if you are into this promise or not.” He looked back at you and extended a pinky out to you. You knew he was serious about it. During your whole friendship since you were teenagers you only made a few promises. He promised you the day when he left for the Academy, that he will never forget about you, and that he will make it to F1 and not just that he will make it to F1 but he will make it to Ferrari. 

“Just don’t regret it.” You hooked your pinky in his as the countdown started. “Spending a whole lifetime with me can be a lot.” You winked at him, and he let out a small laugh. “FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO..” as the counting were going down behind you all

“Never, I already spent a part of my life with you, it won’t change a lot. I promise.” He said it just as the crowd screamed One 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

“You can’t be serious about that, you remember.” You laid down on the boat looking up at the stars above you all as you chuckled.

“Never forgot a promise before, haven’t I?” He laid down next to you watching the twinkling stars above the two of you. “If I’m not wrong we are in July, so it means you have two months left.” 

“I would say the same for you, but let’s be honest. “You turned your head to him, and he turned to you too. “You can hardly stay single.” He rolled his eyes and pushed your shoulder slightly. 

“Hey, I wanted to ask something.” You broke the small silence between the two of you which made him turn his head to look at you again. “The others knew about it already, I just had no idea if you were gonna be in Monaco. But did not want you to feel guilty if you can’t participate..”

“Bunny, you are rambling again.” He grabbed your pinky with his pinky and squeezed it a little.“Take a breath and start again.” 

“I got called in for an audition, and it will be open to the public. Would you like to come to my show at that music bar? It's two weeks from today.” You spoke rapidly trying to get the question out as soon as possible so you may feel less awkward about it.

“Bunny! That’s incredible! Of course I will come.” He wrapped his fingers around your hand and lifted up to his lips. “I’m so happy for you!” He mumbled over your knuckles and laid a feather-like kiss on the back of your hand as he was looking deeply in your eyes, making you blush like crazy, the tip of your ears were burning, but you just could not tear your eyes off him. You swallowed thick and inhaled through your nose.

“I actually have something for you.” He let go of your hand and started to dig into the pocket of his sweats, closing the small sachet in his palm before he sat up pulling you up with him. “I saw this the other day and instantly thought that you might like it.” You extended both of your arms, as your plans were facing to the sky, wiggling your fingers, initiating that he needs to hurry up. “Someone is impatient.” He giggled and dropped the small black velvet sachet in your plans. It felt light, your brows were knitted and hooked your fingers in the mouth of the sachet opening it up. You turned the little bag upside down, letting the gift fall into your left palm. 

“Oh Charles, it's really pretty.” You picked up the bracelet. It was a black yarn bracelet with small beads knotted on it, and one heart shaped charmer on it.

“And that’s not all, wait let me help you put it on.” Quickly wrapping the bracelet around your right wrist. “Okay wait.” He pulled the sleeve of his hoodie showing all the different bracelets that he usually had on his wrists before tapping on one of the charmers making the one that you had on your wrist vibrated.

“Wait, what? Do it again.” He smiled and tapped twice on the charmer making your bracelet pulsate twice. “Wow, that's so cool.” You tapped on your charmer too.

“You can tap it as many times as you want, and it works no matter what. Even if we are on different sides of the world.”

“Oh so like when you are in Australia for example and I’m just waking up I can just tap it and I don’t have to write you Hi good morning text.” You were still tapping on your charmer. 

“Exactly. Or when I’m thinking about you, slash or miss you I can tap it twice.” He tapped his charmer twice, making yours vibrate twice too. 

“So we are gonna have our own little morse code between us.” He nodded, smiling back at you. You got on your knees and wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him in a hug, his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you tight to his body. “Thank you mon beau.” You whispered in his neck, nuzzling your nose further in. He turned his head and laid a small kiss on your jawline and pulled you back, laying down on the boat’s floor as your head was on his chest listening to his heart beat.

“Your welcome Bunny.” He raked his fingers through your hair making you sigh loudly. Physical touch were both of your love language, it was normal for you to cuddle up, or things like he was playing with your hair, or drawing shapes on each other's skin. 

———————————

You were back in the salon, running the day alone as Pascal took a day off, you just finished with your last client and started to clean up in the salon. Washing away the bowls where you have been mixing the colours, swiping up the floor one last time, gathering all the used towels and throwing them in the machine to and scheduled it to start in the morning before you will open the shop. You walked in the small storage picking up the fresh delivery of hair colours, you picked up the box and walked to the other side of the salon and sat on the ground and started to fill up the cabinet. The doorbell rang as the door pushed open, and someone walked in. You rolled your eyes as you checked the watch on your arm for the time. “Sorry we are closed!” You said behind the counter and picked up the now empty box before getting up and walked out. “Excuse me, we are closed.” You said one more time as you saw the brown haired man standing with his back facing you in the doorway holding up his phone to his ears. He turned around for your second call, lowering the phone from his ears and sending it your way. He was one of the most handsome men that you have ever seen. First thing that made your eyes go was his piercing blue eyes that stared into yours, they were deep and expressive, where you could get lost if you stare long enough. He was the typical description of a Greek god. 

“Excuse me, I have had an appointment for six o’clock.” He checked the time on his watch again. “I booked the appointment online yesterday with YN, I think.”

“Are you sure?” You asked back confused and started to walk to the reception table, to check your calendar. He unlocked his phone and slid over the counter top, showing you the confirmation email that you sent out yesterday afternoon. You facepalmed yourself, you remembered sending that mail out, and you also remembered telling yourself to write it up in your own calendar too, but when you were about to do your bracelet started to vibrate four times, making you drop everything and digging up your phone from the papers scattering around. Four vibrations meant, check your phone, I’m gonna call you. “I’m so sorry. Uhm, okay give me two minutes. Can you please take a seat? I’ve already packed everything, but I’ll be ready in a minute.” You rambled and ran around the counter, trying to get your scissors and the other essentials. 

“Take your time, I’m not in a rush.” He chuckled.

“Oh I’m YN by the way.” You extended your hand out for him which he took and squeezed a little, his hand was much bigger than yours, his skin felt a little rough but it was really warm. 

“Matthew.” His voice was deep and raspy. He took a seat at your station and you draped the cloak on him.

“So Matthew, guess from the name you are not born and raised in Monte Carlo.” You started the chat as you were working on his haircut.”Especially from that British accent.”

“Busted. Right, I'm from London. I’m just here for a conference.”

“Oh what do you do? Obviously you can’ ask back because you already know my profession.” You smiled at him through the mirror, and he chuckled.

“I’m in the british airforce, I’m an admiral, we are here to meet with some big army heads from France and Italy.” So an army guy, with uniforms, with muscles. Okay stop. You nodded quietly, continuing your work on his hair. You were chatting through the whole session, sharing some giggles and laughs, he had a pretty good humour. 

“Okay, so we are ready.” You announced once you untied the cloak and pulled it off his lap.

“Wow thanks, I really like it.” He checked himself and nodded as an approval before he got up from his seat.

“Your welcome, and I’m sorry for the inconvenience in the beginning. I forgot to write your appointment up.” You folded the piece of clothing and dropped it on the chair, you walked to the counter. 

“Don’t worry about it really, I’m just happy that I could catch you in time.” He took his wallet out of his pocket. “To be honest, I would love to see you in another time.” You looked up surprised at him as you were typing in the amount in the terminal. He was leaning on the edge of the table, looking into your eyes deeply waiting for your answer, with a cheeky smile on his lips. “If you are free tomorrow, we can have lunch.”

“Oh yea sure, a lunch that sounds good.” You stuttered.

“Check your calendar, just to be sure.” He winked at you tapping on the hard covered pink calendar sliding it over the counter. You let out a silent laugh and opened up the book checking the next day.

“Yep, my whole day is empty. For a hundred percent.” You looked up smiling at him. “I know a good restaurant like two blocks away from here. It’s the Salon Rose. If you take advice from someone who grew up here.” You closed up the book tapping on it nervously.

“Okay, let’s meet up in front of it just before noon?” 

“Sure. Yea, sounds good.” 

“Perfect. See you soon YN.” He tapped his card on the side of the terminal and stepped back before winking at you with a mischievous smile on his handsome face. You felt your cheeks getting warmer and you broke eye contact by looking down at the table and playing with the yarn bracelet when it started to vibrate, waking up from your daydreaming. 

You were not sure about how much you should dress up, because the La Rose it's not the fanciest place in Monaco, perfect for a lunch date with someone just as fine looking as Matthew was. You picked up a white summer dress that made your olive brown skin stand out even more. The dress was not something too fancy, but still felt cute in the Monte Carlo summer. He was already waiting outside the place, tapping away on his phone and just lifted his gaze up when you were a few steps away from him. 

“Bonjour!” He greeted you and stepped closer giving your two kisses each side of your face while giving you a hug. “ You look lovely.” He commented as he checked you out, making you blush a little, his right palm settling on the small of your back. You gave him a quiet thanks and let him lead you in the restaurant. You were surprised, the date wasn’t a flock afterall. He is an intelligent man, with many interest, and hobbies. Who was really serious about his job which is understandable considering the amount of time that he has devoted just for this. He was talkative and funny, and he was tentative. Listening to whatever you were talking about, asking questions, laughing with you about the jokes you have made and all the funny stories that you have told him about your life in Monaco.

“So you tell me that you are doing some part time job, which is not something you get paid for. How does it work?” He asked as he was paying the bill at the end of your lunch. Not even letting you think about getting your card out to split the bill.

“Oh, there is a pub where I usually went with my friends when we were younger, and we obviously still go there. And occasionally I sing there. Actually I’m gonna have an audition there for a record company at the end of the week. When are you going back to London?”

“You are lucky, I’ll leave next Monday.” He smiled and opened the door for you. You started to walk down the street, the time was already late afternoon. The lunch turned into an early dinner actually. But you were having so much fun not even caring about the time anymore. It has been a long time since you have had a date like this. “May I consider your question as an invitation?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you making you giggle and blush.

“Would you like to come to my audition night?” You stopped in front of him, looking up at him. There was a significant height difference between the two of you. You were not considered small, but you were just under the average height so it was not hard for someone to be taller than you. But he was really tall, there was like at least a head between the two of you. 

“YN, I would love to.” He smiled at you warmly as he lifted his free hand up to your neck, tilting your chin upwards more with his index finger. He leaned closer just as your foreheads were touching, your breath got stuck in your throat, you could not break away from the eye contact. He tiled your chin a little bit more to steal a kiss from you. “I actually have to go, we will have a gala later. “ He mumbled against your lips, you nodded slowly trying to wake yourself up from your clouded state. “I’ll text you later okay?” You were still silent and nodding which made him chuckle as he pushed one more kiss to your lips. “Bye YN.” There you were standing totally dumbfounded, touching your lips as you were watching him walking away, leaving you alone on the busy street of Monaco.

————————

“YN!” Eric grabbed on your shoulder making you jump in surprise and turned around seeing your friends around you.

“Hey guys, I have the usual table booked for us.” You pointed at the big table just next to the small stage. “Uhm, and this is Matthew. “You turned halfway to the man who was towering over you and pointed at him and back at the group. “Matthew, that’s everyone. Oh wait, where is Charles?” You got on your tiptoes looking for the familiar hazel eyes, but you can’t find it.

“He is coming, he just landed an hour ago in Nice, he dropped his bags and now he is on his way. Don’t worry he will be on time.” Sammy squeezed your shoulder and smiled at you. “ Okay, come Matt, let's sit down, let the girl get ready.” You smiled softly at him, and he leaned down and kissed your forehead before following the others.

“Welcome everyone! Good to see that tonight we are nearly packed again. Always good to see new faces, and of course our regulars. Hello guys.” The owner of the bar was holding the mic squinting his eyes as the lights were blinding him. “Okay so tonight is special, because our gem, our favourite little birdie, has her audition. So please welcome her, and all of us wish her luck, YN!” He turned to you, extending his palm out so you can grab on it helping you up on the small stage. You were frantically checking the crowd, seeing all your friends, you were about to start to panic when you could not see him when the bracelet vibrated and a hand lifted up in the air. He made it, he is here, and he was looking at you with the biggest, proudest smile on his lips. A wide grin appeared on your lips and you let out a sigh before lifting the mic to your lips.

“Hello everyone. Thank you for all of you coming in here tonight. It really means a lot. I’m really nervous so excuse me if I’m talking really fast.” You giggled and took a seat at the small stool in the middle of the stage. “Okay so for tonight we have prepared a few acoustic songs that we would like to share with you. Hope you all will enjoy it.” You looked back at your boss over your shoulder who was giving you a thumbs up as he settled with the guitar in his lap. The familiar accords of the Taylor Swift song started and you swallowed before taking a deep breath and lifted your gaze up from your shoes and fixated at one point in front of you. 

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January And this is our place, we make the rules And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years? Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover

You were looking at him, the whole time. He had a warm smile on his beautiful lips, his eyes were sparkling, never leaving yours at all. He was bobbing his head and leaning side to side at the rhythm of the music with the group sitting around him. He was silently singing the lyric-s with you, not breaking eye contact for any second. 

Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) You're my, my, my, my Oh, you're my, my, my, my Darling, you're my, my, my, my Lover

Your smile was wide, reaching your ears nearly when the crowd erupted with cheers and whistles mixed with the clapping. They loved it, they loved you and your performance. You were over the moon when you got off the stage as you had ended the night, and walked back to the small staff room, where you were instantly greeted by the manager of the record company.

“Let me tell you little one, you are spectacular. You have potential. I’ll have recorded everything. And I’ll call you soon.” He shook your hand and squeezed your shoulder one more time before walking out of the room.

“You were amazing.” He appeared in the corner pulling you closer to him and wrapped you in a tight hug. “Everyone loved you.” He whispered in your hair and kissed the crown of your head before letting you go.” And you look beautiful.” He looked up and down on you, it was nothing special. A white short sleeved shirt, and you topped a spaghetti strap black dress on it. But for him you could wear your pjs and he would still say you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.“Oh that’s a pretty big bouquet.” He pointed at your right hand as you were awkwardly hanging the followers upside down. 

“Uh.. yea I got it from Matthew” you tucked a piece of hair behind your ears as you turned around and placed it on the small table. The smile froze on his face when he heard the name. He met the guy just before your performance, he had a frown on his face the whole time. He was quiet and kept distance with everyone during the night. 

“Oh Matthew, yea I met him. Seems like a cool guy.” He scratched the back of his neck and shifted his weight from one foot to another. You have mentioned Matthew to Charles but somehow you did not want to tell a lot, because you just do not want to admit to yourself that the sparkle that you have had at the beginning is not there anymore for you, especially now that one of the most important person is next to you, you can forget about everyone.

“Yea he is really nice.” You felt the awkwardness of the whole situation. “We should probably go back to the others.” You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arm around his waist and he pulled you close to his body and smiled down at you. You were chatting with your friends sitting between Matthew and Charles, who were laughing with the guys while the other guy was sulking on your left, quietly sipping on his drink. 

You went to the bar asking for another round of cocktails for you and your other girlfriends when he appeared behind you.

“Okay Y/N, I can’t do this!” The volume of his voice made you jump, you snapped your head looking at Matthew who slammed the two glasses on the table making the cocktail spill everywhere. 

“What do you mean?”

“You need to choose, me or him!” He pointed at Charles in the distance who was staring at us intensely, trying to figure out what the conversation could be about. He did not trust him, and he definitely did not like how he was treating you, especially now. 

“You make me choose between you and my best friend? “ you furrowed your brows.” What are you? Eight?” You tilted your head to the side with an amused grin on your lips. There he is, the real Matthew, it was too good to be true. “Do you hear yourself? You make me choose between someone who I know for like ten years over a dude who I know less than a week.” 

“I’m serious,I don’t like this dude, how he is wrapping you up in his arms. You even left your bouquet that I have got you. So what do you say? Me or that French dude?” He crossed his arms in front of him and blocked your vision. Charles got confused and got up from his seat actually was about to walk closer to you to check if everything is okay. 

“He is Monégasque not French, you conceited prick.” You picked up the tray full with cocktails  and started to walk back to your table and slid it over to your friends.

“You good?” He grabbed your wrist as you tried to walk past him. “Come on.” He pulled you after him outside to the balcony, closing the door behind him turning around watching you pacing up and down. “Okay, would you please tell me what was going on between the two of you?” He hesitated because had no idea if you are gonna lose it and erupt with anger or start crying or maybe both. You stopped and looked at him.

“Am I that incredibly unlucky? Or are all the guys just dipshits?” You threw your hands up in the air dramatically. “You would think when a guy is like twenty eight or twenty nine so at the end of his twenties they probably develop some intelligence. But no.” You shake your head as you start pacing again. “He knew it well, he was aware about the situation and he said he is fine with it. And all of the sudden he is not fine with it and even tries to make me choose.” You were rambling fast and walking in circles. 

“Bunny I really tried to follow you but you lost me honey. What are you talking about?” He grabbed both your hands, linking your fingers together, keeping you steady and standing. 

“I’m talking about the fact that Matthew made me choose between himself and my best friend. He stared at you for a second before he started to laugh. “Who does something like this? I know this guy, what? Five days max. And he is already starting to control my life, just because he took me on a date?”

“Do I have to ask who you have chosen?” He chuckled, shaking his head side to side. 

“Of course I choose you. I have and I will always choose you Charles.” You tilted to the side of your head, watching a smile spread on his face. “You know usually best friends are not that happy or at least they are not showing that they are happy when their friend had a break up.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head giggling. He stepped closer caging you between the balcony railing and his body, he squeezed your hand making you look up at him as he was towering over you. 

“If you were heartbroken and crying because of a break up I wouldn’t do this. But I know that you were waiting for the point when you can finally end it with him. And you are not mad because you broke up. You just mad about what he was trying to do with you. “ he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and caressed your cheek. His eyes never left yours. “So would you like to have that drink we talked about before?” His index finger hooked under your chin and lifted it up. You inhaled a sharp breath before swallowing thickly and nodded, which made him smile wider and pulled you back in the bar.

You woke up in the next morning with a slight headache, squeezing your eyes tight as the light hit your face directly. You grabbed on the edge of the blanket and yanked it upwards while you turned on your other side nuzzling your head further in the pillow. 

“Stop moving around that much.” His arms wrapped around your waist keeping you in place. His voice was low and raspy.

“My head.” You moaned and pushed your head more into the crook of his neck, which made him stiffen up, and suck in a short breath. 

“The amount of tequila you have had with Sammy, I’m amazed that you could walk home and I only needed to carry you to bed.” He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. “I’m gonna make coffee.” He got out of the bed, while you used the extra space and you spread more on the huge bed as you watched how he picked up a black sweats from the wardrobe putting it on, leaving him shirtless. You planted your head in your palm as you were watching his toned, sun kissed back before he turned facing you, as a cheeky grin spread on his lips. 

“It’s an ego booster when you just spread on top of my bed in my shirt and boxer while you look at me like that. “ he walked closer and closer each word just to stop in front of the bed, he bent over to have your faces at the same level. Your ears were burning from his words, it’s not the first time he caught you staring, as it was not the first time you crashed at his place in his bed wearing only his clothes. “Got busted Bunny.” He kissed the top of your nose and got up and walked out of the room. “Oh!” He stopped and picked up the lacy clothing hanging from the door handle, and dropped it to the pile of clothes next to the wardrobe.” You should get another colour set of those lacy bras, like black. Or red. Yes, definitely red, like those stilettos you have.” He turned back to wink at you and continued his road to his kitchen, disappearing at the corner. Your head fell between your arms with a long grunt. You were blushing like crazy, he had made you blush before for sure but he had never flirted with you that openly about something, especially not about your underwear. You gathered yourself together before heading to the kitchen following the scent of freshly brewed coffee. He had already poured the coffee in two mugs, you sat down silently at the dining table and picked up the mug and started to sip from it slowly, hoping to the gods that it will help ease the pounding headache. He was still in the kitchen gathering some food, it was freshly baked goods. This man went down to the bakery in the corner, got you fresh chocolate au pain and came back to the bed just to cuddle with you. Without a word you snatched the sweet baked goods from the tray, it was still warm. You sighed and moaned loud when you took a bite from your favourite breakfast item. He watched you with a smile on his lips, loved to see you happy, all he wanted to do to make you happy all the time. You picked up your mug again and took a sip of it when he broke the silence with a question that had been on his tongue the whole night yesterday and since the morning he woke up. “So when can I take you out?”

“What are you talking about?” You looked at him confused and lowered the mug from your vision studying his face with a puzzled look on your face. 

“We have a deal still running.” He tore apart the pastry and took a bite of it. “God this is still so good.” He moaned as the buttery crispy pastry laid on his tongue just before the dark, slight bitter chocolate overtook his taste buds.

“Charles, I don’t understand you, what are you talking about?”

“What’s the date today?” He slides his phone over to you on the table. You have had your eyebrows connected and had a puzzled look on your face still not understanding what’s going on. You picked up his phone and the screen lit up, showing the time and the date, your attention was caught by the choice of the background, it was not that black and white photo of him doing donuts on the track anymore, it was a picture of you two, it was taken in Monaco, his back was facing the camera while you were turning slightly back and smiling widely. You really loved that picture, it was set as your background too.“It’s the 1st of September.” You slide the phone back to him. “And?” You took the last bite of the pastry, finished it and washed it down with the last bit of the coffee. 

“Can you please repeat?” He tapped his right ear with his index finger, just as he could not hear it before. 

“Charles, you are starting to get on my nerves. It’s the freakin 1st of September. “As soon as you said it again it hit you. His smile only got bigger as he saw it on your face as your mouth opened slightly indicating that you have got what he was talking about. “Oh.” 

“So what do you say, how about I pick you up at six and take you to our favourite restaurant?” He got up from his chair and walked around the table picking up his and your empty plate also. “We can celebrate that our deal has come to an end. I’ll show you what a proper date should look like.” 

You were adjusting the silky skirt on you, hoping the wrinkles would disappear, those wrinkles which weren’t even there, you were just nervous so you tried to keep your mind busy. You are going to go on a dinner with Charles, no you are going on a date with Charles, he has said it by himself. But it still felt unreal. All of different thoughts were running on your mind with 200 kph. Does he really want this? Do you really want this? What if it’s gonna end bad? It supposed to be a stupid promise that you made fuck face drunk five years ago. But it was a promise and Charles Leclrc is a man of his word. What if it’s gonna end well? What would it mean if it’s end well? Are you gonna go on other dates? Will you be a couple? Will he try to kiss you tonight? Oh how many times during your teenage years you wanted this man to kiss you, you were full with all those confusing hormones, but you can’t say that the feeling that now you have had is because of those teenage hormones. What if you will have much more than a kiss? YN! Jesus! Get yourself together! A knock on a door made you wake up from your thoughts, causing you to jump a little. You ran to the door and placed your hand on the door handle, closing your  eye for a second and took a deep breath before you pushed down on the handle and opened it wide. He was leaning on the wall next to your entrance, with the most flirtatious, cheeky smile you have seen on his lips, his eyes were shining.

“Hello there princess.” He pushed himself away from the door and checked you out from toe to head, and looked deep in your eyes. You felt the heat rushing into your cheeks, he was so handsome looking in your favourite baby blue linen shirt that he had slight unbuttoned at top showing his sun kissed chest underneath it. “You look wonderful. Are you ready?” You blinked a few times to get yourself together and nodded small, picking up the keys from the small table next to the door.

“You look really handsome, I have to be honest with you.” You swirled the white wine in your glass around as you were sitting on the balcony at your favourite restaurant, it was a place where you usually went to for special occasions, like birthdays or your graduation, or for your first date.

“I can see, you are already flirting with me.” He laughed a little and picked up your hand by your pinky. “We should slow down your wine portion, otherwise you soon will sit on my lap try to steal a kiss.” You choked on your wine and started to cough.

“I would have thought that you would try your shot on that one.” You gathered yourself together and leaned back in your chair. A small chuckle escaped his lips, he leaned forward lifted your hand up to his lips and kissed you ring finger while he was looking deeply in your eyes. You felt heat rushing to your ears spreading slowly out on your cheeks. The way he was looking at you was so intense, like you were the only person in the whole room that he was seeing. Which was true but your were always the only person for him that he saw no matter where you were.

“Bunny, you have no idea how long I have want to shoot my shot with you.” He mumbled into your skin which made you heart stop for a second before jumping forward in a crazy speed. “I love how I can make you blush. You are so beautiful when you blush Princess.” You lifted up your other hand and started to fan your face, you felt like here and there you can just bust into flames. 

You were used to the nicknames, Bunny was your favourite one, next to Princess but tonight both of them felt like something else. It has so much love, and lust behind them, which made you squeeze your thighs together. “I’m gonna pay, and we can walk down to the yacht if you are in it.” He let go of your hand before giving one more kiss on the back of your hand, you silently were nodding trying to compost yourself.

“Thank you for the dinner. I was so nervous about this whole night. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not nervous because of you. I mean that’s not true. I’m rambling again.” You giggled at yourself and ran your hand through your hair anxiously as you dropped your shoes on the deck and walked after him all the way to the steering wheel. He started the engine and slowly backed away from the shore heading to the open sea. “I was nervous because I could not imagine a date with you. I still can’t imagine that you really want this to happen and not just because it was a promise that we have made many years ago. I was a nervous wreck before you knocked on my door and when I opened it I thought I would faint. The way you look, the way you looked at me. God I have told you before you are handsome, but tonight you are something else.” You were still talking as he was driving the yacht quietly, with a smile on his face which got bigger and bigger each of the sentences that left your beautiful lips. He turned off the engine and pushed the button for the anchor before starting to walk your way as you were still rambling about all that nonsense.

He grabbed your waist with one hand and made you turn around and face him.

“Princess, can you please listen to me for a second?” With his free hand he grabbed the side of your face after he tucked that piece of hair which was dangling in front of your face. As soon as you felt his warm palm on your cheek, words dried in your throat. You closed your mouth slowly and nodded, letting him speak as he wished. “You overthink it. Way too much.” He was caressing your cheek with his thumb as his eyes were studying your face. “It’s not that complicated actually. And I think now I have nothing to lose, I can only win from this, because I feel how I make you feel. I feel that under all those thoughts, and confusion and emotions, you have the same feeling for me, that we have been pushing deep down for so many years, we even went to find the same feeling with other people, because we were confused and we were so afraid. After all those years, on that new year’s eve when we made that “stupid little promise”” He drew quotation marks in the air and chuckled his own words.” I was already fallen. I have already fallen for you, I just could see it in your eyes, it was not the right time for us. And afterall I think I made the right choice. But now, it’s our time. And if you let me, I will show you that you do deserve all the love, the attention, the commitment. Because I want that, and I want that with you. YN, you are one of the best thing in my life. I wake up everyday thinking about you and go to bed thinking about you. That bracelet was the most genius idea to buy in my life. Only problem was that if I could I would tap it the whole day, because when you are not with me I miss you like crazy. With tonight, I’m not asking a lot, we don’t need to jump right away into this whole thing. We can take everything step by step. I promise to you that I’m gonna love you with my whole heart forever. All I’m asking is to let me show you how much I love you. Because I do. God I love you so much.” 

There you were standing in front of him, in the middle of the night under the sparkling stars in the middle of the open sea. Glamorous Monte Carlo was shining behind you, those lights were sparkling in his beautiful green eyes. You were standing there, looking up at him, entirely frozen, trying to understand and process what he said. He was studying your face quietly, his finger was still stroking your cheek. Tears welled up in your eyes as the time passed and you started to wrap your head around all that information that he has said to you.

“Bunny, please say something.” He whispered and let his forehead touch yours, never breaking eye contact with you. You cleared your throat and planted both of your hand on his cheek, his stubble was prickling on your soft palm. You pushed his face a little away from you which only made him more confused.

“Say it again.” You whispered, your voice was so quiet it was nearly not even noticeable. “Say again that three words.” 

“I” he leaned closer a little grabbing on your jaw and tilting your head a little upwards. He could feel your pulse in his palm. Your heart was beating in your throat with such a speed. “Love” he leaned more closer your nose were touching you could feel his hot breath on your cupid's bow, his lips were hovering over yours “You” He said the last word and you launched forward and closed the distance between the two of you. You sighed in relief as you felt his warm lips on yours, his stubble above his lips were tickling your skin. His hand that was on your face just pulled you much closer to him, as it slid all the way to the back of your head and raking his fingers through your hair, while with his other arm that was still on the small of you back pulled you close to is body if it’s was even possible because you were already so close. You moaned on his lips as you got on your tiptoes, trying to get closer to him as much as possible, your right hand slid to the back of his neck and grabbed on his hair which made him moan on your lips too.

“I love you” You whispered on his lips as you broke the kiss off with heaving chests. You let out a small yelp when he grabbed the back of your thighs and picked you up, before putting you down on the small table next to the controlling panel. You were silently watching each other, his hand was still on your cheek as yours were on his shoulders. Both of you were smiling ear to ear, you were so happy. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Is it really a question?” He answered right away, kissing the tip of your nose, before pecking your lips. “Please be honest with me, just as we’ve always been.”

“Do you really want to take things step by step?” Your finger was drawing shapes on his chest that was showing from his unbuttoned shirt. “ Because all I can think about is how much I want to rip this shirt off you and finally kiss all those parts of you that I have been dreaming about.” 

“Aw, cute. You have had some wet dreams about me huh?” He chuckled, his left hand went behind your head and grabbed your hair at the nape of your head and pulled it a little just so you will tilt your head upwards, a small sigh left your lips before you inhaled sharply.

“I may or may not bought that set that you have suggested.” You are not gonna give this game in that easily. If he can tease you can do it as well. Your fingers were busy opening the buttons one by one, all the way to the end and you opened the shirt when you finished and slid your palm over his abdomen. Now it was his time to inhale a sharp breath as he felt your slight cold fingers on his hot skin. You could feel under the pad of your fingers the soft skin that you have had some luck to touch a few times when he was shirtless but this time it was different. With each breath he took, lust and desire just spread through both of your bodies, clouding your minds.“And it’s perfectly matching your car.” You could see he swallowed thick, he did not break eye contact with you, it was so much more intense than the one you have had before..

“Calculated move.”

“I thought that maybe if none of my charms are working on you then maybe my panties can change your mind.” You giggled over his lips. 

“Do you really want this?” His voice got softer and he tilted his head to the side, trying to read any discomfort or something that would indicate you are changing your mind.

“Charles, I think it's bullshit if we are all gonna act like we have never met before and started to date. We have known each other for years, we can’t have the same pace as with someone I have never known.I trust you with my whole heart, and I know if you promise something you are gonna keep that. “You hooked your finger in his belt loop on his trouser and pulled him closer to your body, between your legs. “So please, get over that chevalier shit and kiss me and let me take your clothes off because if you keep me waiting for another second I’m gonna go crazy.”  He laughed at your last sentence before pulling your closer to his body and closed his lips over yours again, but this time to a much heated kiss, he was still so loving with you but you could feel that he wanted you too. Without waiting for him you already grabbed the side of your shirt and pulled it upward, throwing it over the dashboard and pushed on his body to take a step backwards from you letting you jump down from the table, pushing down your skirt letting the light fabric fall down to your ankles, leaving you just in your underwear. He has seen you in your underwear many times, there was a time when accidentally he saw you for a second without a bra too, but those times were different, because then he identified the whole picture as his beautiful friend. But now all he could see was the sexiest woman on earth who was waiting for him to take it to the next step but all he could do was just look at her completely mesmerised. The fabric and the style of the garments were so beneficial on you. “I’m not gonna bite, you can come closer.” He shook his head and leaped forward picking you up by your waist, lifting you up which made you instantly wrapping your legs around him. One of his hand grabbed on your butt and squeezed it a little making you let a yelp out on his lips that made his smile wide. 

“You look so fucking sexy.” He said between kisses as he was walking down on the deck all the way to the big sunbeds with those big fluffy cushions, he lowered the two of you as he got on his knees and get on the centre of the bed before sat down with you still on his lap. “I was right about the red. Belle, you are hot as fuck.” He looked up and down on you once again, still can’t get enough of the scene in front of him. Pulling off the shirt off him that you threw somewhere next to you on the floor, before grabbing on his shoulders and pushed on him, making him to fall back on the pillows. Without waiting another second you jumped forward and started to kiss the soft skin on his neck from the base of his ear and continued your way down to his chest. A low grunt escaped from his throat as he tilted his head back on the bed in to the pillows when you climbed off his lap, lowering yourself down on him, continue the track of kisses from is chest down his lower abdomen. His breath quickened and even had a sharpe inhale when you kissed your way down on his happy trail and hooked your finger once again into his jeans. You looked up at him through your lashes seeing that he was looking back at you, his eyes were so dark, full with lust as he was holding on his breath waiting for your next step. You licked your lips before turned your gaze back to the trousers and started to work on unbuttoning it.

“May I?” He cleared his throat and nodded as you hooked your finger in his trousers and boxer at the same time feeling the soft flesh under your finger, which made warmth spread all over on you ending its way between your legs that you had to squeeze together. He lifted his hips up, to help you pull down on his clothes, leaving him in the end completely naked for the first time. You sat back and looked over at him, from his handsome face that was smiling at you the most cockiest was possible, to his sculptured torso that you have loved so much all the way to the lowest part of his that you have never seen before. You swallowed down the moan that nearly escaped from your throat when you saw his member. He caught your wrist and pulled you down on him catching your lips with his into a searing kiss. You were about to sit on his lap when he pulled your leg underneath for you and pushed you under him, he pushed your legs apart with his knee and planted both his palm next to your head.

“Babygirl, I cannot be the only one who is naked, it’s not fair don’t you think?” He mumbled in your ear and started to plan wet kisses from the behind of your ear all the way down to your neck and went down to your chest. You pushed you upper body forward, arching your back to get closer to him which he answered with a small laugh. “We are not running anywhere Bunny, we have all the night. And I’m not planning to rush it with you.” You raked your fingertips all the way down on his chest which he grabbed before you could reach his lower stomach and lifted it up above your head caging both of your wrist with his big hand. “Now it’s my turn to play.” He said and give you a peck on your lips. With his free hand he took your breast out of the lacy bra and softly massaged it. You moaned to the feeling of his calloused fingers getting closer and closer to your nipple. “You are so perfect. Such a good girl.” He kissed you neck one more time before latched his mouth on your breast, sucking on the soft skin leaving slight marks over it, he played with your pebbled nipple first with his tongue that made you moan out loud and arching your back more before he bit down on it that caused to yelp a little. “All those beautiful sexy noises and we haven’t done a lot yet.” He looked up at you as he was laying down between your legs on his stomach.

“If you want to hear all those other noises, and me screaming your name, you better hurry up my love.” You planted yourself on your elbows and watched him as he laughed and started to kiss his way down on your stomach all the way to your panties. Your breath quickened when he kissed the waistline of your lacy underwear, pushing your legs up a little, planting your feet on the bed, he kissed his way the inside of your thighs while he was having an intense eye contact with you. He hooked his fingers on the side of your underwear and started to pull it down so that you helped him with just lifting your hips a little. Once it disappeared he sat back on his knees and looked at you. The way he looked at you made you feel the most beautiful woman on the whole Earth, not feeling any insecurities that this is the first time when he sees you that way, spreaded all hot and wet, full with lust.

“Bunny, you are magnificent.” He whispered as he leaned forward and grabbed the side of your face and kissed you deeply, you exhaled through your nose when you felt his member pushing down on your fold making the both of you moaning out in each other's mouth. You pushed him back a little and grabbed on his shoulders to make him lay down, you slid yourself up and down on his hard cock that was laying on his stomach. Lustful moans were leaving your mouth at the sensation, you felt like you can’t take it anymore you just need him inside you. Now.

You lifted yourself up, leaning on your hand that was on his chest and grabbed the base of his cock and positioning at your entrance. You slowly lowered yourself down on him, gasping as the tip started to stretch out your inside. You both gasp at the new feeling as you slowly lower yourself down on him, all the way till he completely disappeared in you. You were sitting quietly, staring at each other, you were taking small breaths as you were still adjusting on the feeling of his huge size. Once you felt like you can move you leaned forward down on him and kissed him, instantly his arms wrapped around you and pulled you down on him as he planted his feet on the bed and started to roll his hips slowly but tender. Your head fall into his neck as you were panting and moaning. You planted both your palms on his chest and pushed yourself up so you could sit up normally, the whole feeling, him inside you in this position was different. One of his hand grabbed your waist as the other grabbed on your breasts and started to play with you nipple once again. The feeling was overwhelming, you dropped your head back as you were riding him slowly.

“Look at me beautiful’ Charles panted underneath you “You look like a goddess. Such a good girl. You feel so good wrapped around me.” His hand left your breast and slid up to your neck, grabbing on it which made you gasp in surprise. His other hand went from your waist all the way down between the two of you and laid his finger on your clit, making you moan loud. “Can you please be my princess and come for me?” You nodded frantically as he picked up the pace with his thrust and his finger started to draw circles on you clit.

“Holly shit.” You gasped at the new feeling and let your nail dig into the soft skin on his chest.

“You are doing amazing, baby. Let me feel you come on my cock.” He pulled you closer kissing your lips as he picked up his pace, making you moan in his mouth. You felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm slowly appearing in you but when Charles changed the pace of his fingers again on your sensitive clit you knew you don’t have a long time before you are gonna come.

“Charles. I…I’m gonna cum.”Whimper left your lips when he turned the both of you around making him be on top once again.

“Come on baby girl. Come for me.” He whispered on your lips as his thrusts got more quicker and deeper at the same time. You were on the road of orgasm and you were racing on that road. With a few more thrust you were at the gate of your orgasm, and one more movement of his finger and you came all over his dick while you were screaming his name. With a few more thrust he was following you and with a low grunt he released himself inside of you before fall on the top of you caging you in his arms. Both of you were panting, heads clouded by full bliss between each others arm. After a few minutes he pushed himself away from you, and grabbed on your chin turning your head to his way. You looked at him with those shining eyes, and a small smile on your lips.”Are you okay?”

“More than okay. That was one of the best orgasm of my life.” You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “ I love you.”

“I love you” He whispered back and closed the distance between the two of you with a kiss.

“Where are they?” Eric checked the time on his phone once again as they were waiting on their two best friends to arrive at the small BBQ party. “I can’t believe that they are living like five minutes away and they still manage to miss the time we have agreed on.” He was shaking his head side to side with a grin on his lips.

“Look who has arrived!” Sammy pointed at the balcony window where the two of you walked out hand in hand saying hello to the others. “Wait a fucking minute!” She raised her voice making everyone stop at what they were doing. “As I can see the date went well.” She crossed her arms in front of herself as your other girlfriends stopped next to her looking at you with the biggest smile on their lips.

“They went on a date?” Eric asked

“Remember that they had that promise thing, many years ago?” She pushed on the shoulder of our friend who looked at her dumbfounded before nodding.” So by the first of September their deal came to an end, both of them were single, so our Lord Perceval took the chosen one of his heart on a date.” Sammy winked at you making you blush and look down on your feet, trying to hide that you got busted. 

“What can I say, I keep myself to my world. If I promise something I better keep that.” Charles said with a wide grin on his lips and pulled you closer to his body and kissed the crown of your head.

“Pay up Big Ric.” Sammy extended her palm out to Eric with a victorious smile on her lips.

“What did you do?” You asked surprised seeing your male friend digging in to his shorts for his wallet with a frown on his lips and took a hundred euro out and handed it over to the girl. “You bet on us?” Your eyes went wide as you understood the scene in front of you.

“Oh honey, we did it many years ago. But hey Ric, I think you are still short by another fifty, because as I can see that the summer dress can’t hide, they even had some extra fun.” She nodded to your way again, as you took your ponytail on the left side of your neck trying to hide the small hickeys that were showing. Damn it Charles. With a huffle he threw another fifty euros on top of the other banknotes. “Thank you very much! It was a pleasure to do business with you Sir. I hope you learned to never do a bet with me.” She winked at him and walked away counting on the notes as she was whistling away as all of you were laughing at them. You looked up at Charles on your side watching him chuckling with his friends, his smile was reaching his eyes making small wrinkles appear, which made him more attractive. You were studying his handsome features quietly with a smile on your lips, and you were just amazed that how you got so lucky. You have had a spectacular life, a great job with a side job that was basically your hobby. You have the biggest most supportive and cohesive friend group since you were kids that made your life so much better. And finally you have someone next to you, who you love with your whole heart and can imagine your life with, someone who you were waiting for the whole time till now. Someone that you were head over hills in love with.

“Bunny what’s going on in the pretty head of yours?” Charles made you wake up from your staring.

“I was just thinking how lucky we are that we have each other. I have people in my life that I can count on no matter what and when. People that I will have in my life for ever. And now I have a partner, the most handsome man on Earth who can be the biggest goofball ever with who I can plan my future, our future. Someone who I love so much.” 

“You are my everything. You are my future Bunny. I love you so much.” He grabbed both sides of your face as he was looking deeply in your eyes, and pulled you closer to a kiss.

Maybe your love life is not that miserable after all.

Feedbacks are always apprecited :) Love you ♥ If you want to be added or removed from the taglist, please let me know :)

Taglist: @mytinycrazymind @vividwritinglove @ophcelia @freyjhasdesiredreality @lord-sharl-perceval @o0itsjustme0o

[eddiediazismyhusband]

These people will never experience the pain hearing from the causal viewers and THE SR that we who view those characters as queer, are delusional. We were told, it’s in “our heads” and what you see “is your interpretation” NOT what’s on the script. OH CANT FORGET MY FAVORITE, “go write your own SHOW”. Imagine for 6 years viewing buck as queer coded and told you were dumb and “it’s never gonna happen”. For 6 YEARS!!!! It literally took them ONE EPISODE AND MOVING TO A NEW NETWORK for bibuck to happen. And these people think this couple who ONLY HAD 3 dates (1 of them a failed one), and 2 kisses is endgame? 💀💀💀imagine your ship not having any depth to where they stopped caring about them after making buck bi💀💀💀. Where are their scenes? Oh it’s “enjoy it while it lasts”. It’s them having barely 20 minutes of screen while the “non ship” has x2 has much in 10 episodes. Did they forget their fav said this💀💀💀💀

💯no notes agree with everything you said 👏👏👏

and also even that lfj quote pissed me off when it came out bc i was like “how are you gonna stand here and tell me to be grateful for a relationship that came out of left field with no chemistry?” like even if it does lead to buddie i will still hate that whole arc because it could have been handled SO much better and without bringing back a racist character, played by a problematic person, ON TOP of causing the biggest shipping controversy to ever hit this fandom… that man has given me the ick since day one of s7 and when the cameos started and he started encouraging his fans and egging on the bullshit i was done w him.

it pisses me off bc they act like buck has to go through some sort of “queer bootcamp” before he can date eddie and im like…. no he doesn’t?? he doesn’t need some sort of “gay yoda” or whatever they called t-rex in the beginning bc there is no rulebook to being queer… so the whole notion of “working out the kinks” (which is an extra level of icky coming from someone like lfj, and looking back after the daddy joke in 7x10) never sat right with me… and the whole “what if buck got with eddie and didn’t like it?” if he meant that literally as “what if buck didn’t like it” my brother in christ theses are fictional characters, they’re not sims, the writers have full control over literally everything that happens… why would they write them if buck “wasn’t gonna like it” (which is bullshit bc we all know he 1000% fold immediately if eddie kissed him)… if he meant “what if the fandom didn’t like it” (which is an odd way to word that question if this is what he meant) WDYM IF THE FANDOM DOESNT LIKE IT EVEN HALF THE BT SHIPPERS HAVE BEEN SHIPPING BUDDIE FOR ALMOST SIX YEARS????

the whole situation drives me up s wall bc not only have we simultaneously gotten so close yet so far to getting buddie, we also now have to deal with these wack-ass fans policing people, calling queer people homophobic, sending death threats and violent hate speech to people who don’t like their ship, actively talking bad about oliver bc he clearly isn’t a fan of lfj or the way this storyline was handled, on top of having to deal with the show’s retconning of typhoid’s character and trying to brush his shit under a rug using queerness as an “excuse” and thus enabling these people to use the “homophobia” rhetoric when someone doesn’t want a boring ass rewash basic ship.

[lurkingshan]

Kinou nani tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?

You should know that I attempted to start this write up about half a dozen times before I managed to get a single word down. Every time I tried I just ended up staring at the wall. I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally stunned by a show since I Told Sunset About You, and I don’t say that lightly!

So, is this a good show? My god, YES. What an understatement. Let me tell you, as my MDL can attest, I’ve watched nearly 300 dramas. I’m sure I’ve watched even more Western shows since I had a 30 year head start on those. And I can say confidently that I’ve never seen anything quite like this gem.

Kinou nani tabeta, or What Did You Eat Yesterday?, is a drama about two middle aged gay men living their everyday lives, making and sharing food, reckoning with their identities and expectations, and figuring out how to be together in a long term relationship. That’s it, that’s the show. If that sounds boring to you, I gotta tell you: YOU ARE WRONG.

We meet Shiro and Kenji when they’re in their mid 40s and already a couple years into living together. Over the course of the show, we learn more about their relationship - how they got together, how they differ, where they struggle, where they shine, what they are still figuring out - and we see them work through it all, together. We see them at work, with friends, with their families, out in public, and in the privacy of their own home - we get a full and complete picture of their lives. And we are invited in to experience it with them and get up close and personal with their relationship in a way that feels both cozy and thrilling.

Now, I am not going to go into detail about everything that happens in this show, or attempt to provide deep analysis about its story, its characters, or the various cultures it depicts. This show was released in 2019, the manga began its run many years before that, and there are folks on this website - like @isaksbestpillow and @bengiyo - who have been at this a hell of a long time and thus have a broader context and lived experience from which to critically examine the show and its messages as they relate to Japanese familial values, life as a queer man from an older generation, and building community while living in a culture that is actively hostile to who you are. I implore you to go read their thoughts and learn from their wisdom. But what I will do is mention a couple (3… no 4, okay 5!) things that really made it stand out to me, a lifelong romance reader, avid media consumer, and drama enjoyer (I’m going to keep plot stuff vague because I hope if you’re reading this, you will be watching very soon!):

Let me repeat: this is a drama about a middle aged couple in a long term relationship, and the ongoing growth and deepening of their relationship is the main plot. Do I have to tell you how unique that is? The romance genre is rarely interested in what happens after the couple gets together, and even in other dramas featuring a couple in a LTR, the plot is usually about something else with the relationship in the background. And I’m fairly sure this is the only show of this nature in the entire bl genre (@absolutebl please fact check me if I’m wrong). In this show, the relationship is the point. It’s a rare look at what it actually takes to learn to deal with your baggage and share your life with someone, and I found it deeply moving.

My god these actors. With all due respect to the many fine actors in the bl industry, these two are on another level. We just never get to see seasoned actors of this caliber headlining ql dramas. If I have one tiny critique of this show, it’s that I found the moments when they let us listen in on the characters’ internal monologues mostly unnecessary - every emotional beat played out in their faces and body language. There’s this one scene I can’t stop thinking about, where the main pair are fighting, and one of them says something he doesn’t mean, and you see the regret on his face instantly, followed by a quick aborted movement as if to take it back, but his partner has already turned away and doesn’t see it. Just perfection. And the acting was so good in the finale (@waitmyturtles informed me my absolute fav moment was improvised for fucks sake) that it actually laid me out for like an hour, I was just sitting there in a crying daze.

The writing is so fucking smart. What’s absolutely brilliant about this show is that it’s structured like an episodic slice of life drama, but there is a deeper long term emotional arc at play and the writers forget nothing. Just like in life, in each episode something will happen, it won’t really get fully resolved, and the characters will move on. But on this show, it always comes back around, usually when your guard is down and they can inflict maximum damage by sucker punching you right in the solar plexus. I can hardly believe how many times this show managed to sneak attack me with emotional realness (official Shan cry count: 8/12 episodes caused me to burst into tears, sometimes more than once).

This show will take you through every possible destination on the spectrum of human emotion. I was so emotional while watching this show, in every sense. Crying both happy and sad tears. Swinging wildly between giddy delight, deep sadness, low key anger, and belly laughing. Sometimes the switch happens literally one scene to the next! And yet, there is an evenness to the tone and assuredness to the filmmaking that makes it all feel smooth. You never feel jerked around by the narrative. This is a credit to the writing, acting, and editing all coming together with perfect precision. The people who made this show are masters of their crafts.

OBVIOUSLY I MUST MENTION THE FOOD. Every episode of this show features at least one instance of a character making Japanese food that looks like the best thing you’ve never gotten the chance to eat. I do not recommended watching this without feeding yourself first, because it will have you salivating. And they don’t just show you the characters making the food (even narrating the recipes for you!), they always show you the characters actually eating and enjoying it. Some real foodies were involved in this production and as someone who loves to eat and absolutely was raised to view feeding people as a love language, I loved it.

So now that you are obviously dying to watch it, you must be wondering: where can I find this show? Let me point you to this post on @kinounaniresource, where the amazing Siiri has compiled all the video files and English subs you need. If you’re not familiar with how to use these, you’ll find instructions on her blog (if you get confused come ask me, please don’t bug her about it). I know sometimes shows being a little hard to access is a big deterrent to watching them, but please trust me that this is absolutely worth your time and effort, you will not regret it.

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Erin/Julius, grudge match

For the prompt: Julius' exit from the Oilers

Julius was never going to stay. Erin doesn’t really know how anyone could have expected otherwise. Sure, she knows the expectation, that if you’re a franchise saviour you stay with the franchise, give it your all, saw that play out with Bryce even though fans acted like he was team whipping boy instead of franchise saviour half the time.

But the thing is, the Oilers have been beyond saving for the entire time Julius has been there. There’s only so much one guy can do, no matter how good they are. And Julius is so good, and he tries so hard. Everything he can do, he has done, nobody could say otherwise, doesn’t slack off on the ice in any game situation, works to win the team games. But they don’t win, most games. They don’t win, because they’ve got a mismanaged team and what the old boys club might call a loser culture. Nobody’s expecting to win games, the players included, and they’re usually right.

Erin’s not like, saying that out loud any time soon, but whatever. It’s true. She likes some of the Oilers as people, has a game buddy in Farmer’s girlfriend, who is one of the funniest people she’s ever met. She likes the city okay, close enough to pop in on mom and dad but far enough they don’t really pop in on her, except for the occasional visit when the Canucks come to town, because Jared’s indisputably their favourite child. There’s nothing personal about Julius’ decision to move on, on his end or hers.

Well, mostly. Erin’s never understood how Deslauriers has kept his job so long, considering he hasn't made the Oilers any better, but they’re not worse, not that that’s saying much. Unfortunately he’s still in charge of the whole operation, and she’s a teensy bit biased against him due to the whole being raging homophobe who tried to destroy her brother’s life because he was gay thing.

Like, just a smidge. Giving the TV the middle finger every time they show his face level. Julius has been smart enough never to introduce them level. Erin’s the only one allowed to destroy her brother’s life, and she sure as shit would never do that because of Bryce, who’s like, the best thing about Jared. By far Jared’s best life decision, full stop, was somehow winning over Bryce Marcus despite his horrible personality.

Well, after adopting Julius. Erin’s pretty grateful for that one, to be honest.

The summer before Julius’ contract expires, he goes into contract talks, though he has zero intention of staying. The talk is basically ‘thanks, but no thanks'.

Erin has no clue why it takes so many meetings to get that across; maybe they’re being too polite about it, or the Oilers are being a little too obtuse, because ‘no thank you’ is three words, as are ‘please trade me’. But after those talks end Oilers management doesn’t say anything to the media except that ‘they’re working on something that works for both parties’, which must be difficult, considering Julius’ current ask is ‘no amount of money will make me stay’, which she’s pretty sure is hard to match.

Or like. Maybe there is enough money. Theoretically, there could be a magic number of money. Like, a mindboggling amount of money might do it. But they haven’t offered him it. They’ve offered him fair value, market rate, but the thing about market value is that the market’s going to offer him that too, and testing the market means he doesn’t have to play for Edmonton anymore.

But nobody gets it. Going into his final contract season, the media’s talking about how much it’ll take to re-sign him, how sweet a deal they’ll have to make it, and she almost wishes that someone would leak the fact he isn’t going to stay so that fans would feel a little less betrayed down the line. But apparently the Oilers front office is a tight ship, or they’re still firmly in denial, hoping Julius is going to change his mind.

Erin’s never seen Julius change his mind on anything big. Or even little. He hates watermelon. He’s never actually tried watermelon, but he’s decided he hates it, so obviously trying it would be silly. This is the person they’re expecting to change his mind. The person Erin has debated force feeding watermelon, because he thinks it tastes like watermelon flavour and nothing tastes like watermelon flavour, she doesn’t know what the fuck watermelon flavour tastes like, but it is not watermelon.

Anyway, he doesn’t change his mind. Shockingly.

A week before the trade deadline Erin walks in the door to find Julius sitting at the dining room table in the half dark of twilight, chin on his fist. He looks like a stock photo: ‘sad man brooding’ or ‘gloomy Finn’ or something, so defeated that Erin doesn’t have the heart to give him shit. Well, almost. She wouldn’t want him to get a big head or anything.

“Pretending you’re the protagonist in a sad indie movie, huh?” Erin asks.

“I don’t know that one, protagonist,” Julius says, then, when she turns the overhead light on, “Ow!”

“Main character syndrome,” Erin says, as Julius squints at her, looking betrayed. He’s not a vampire — he’ll survive a little light.

“Is that what you said Jared has?” Julius asks, and Erin laughs. She can’t even remember saying that, though it must have been years ago. Years ago Erin was right, though.

“Probably,” Erin says, leaning on the table so Julius is forced to look at her instead of into the abyss or whatever. “What’s up?”

“They’re going to boo me for the rest of my career,” Julius says.

“Flames fans don’t even boo Bryce anymore,” Erin says. “Rest of your career’s a stretch.”

“That isn’t true,” Julius says.

“Okay, they don’t boo like, every time he has the puck,” Erin says. That’s basically the same, right? He has to earn the boos by scoring, or assisting, or holding onto the puck a little too long, or — anyway, they boo a whole lot less than they did initially, which is her point. People have short memories, and, more importantly, they’re lazy. Hating someone takes too much energy, long term. They’ll have found someone else to hate by then — some other poor, talented kid doing his best while he’s stuck on a team with no ambition.

“Have they traded you?” Erin asks.

“I think they’re about to,” Julius says.

“Like gut feeling or—“ Erin says.

“My agent told me to keep my phone close,” Julius says.

So probably actually about to, then. She knew it was coming, unless Deslauriers was stupid and stubborn enough to keep Julius until the end, let him walk for free. Which she wouldn’t put past the guy or anything, but still. It was coming.

“You’ve been waiting for this,” Erin says.

“I know,” Julius says.

“You want this,” she says. Getting traded at the deadline, people get a chance to get used to him in another uniform. If he stays until the end, the Oilers don’t get anything for him, but the Oilers fans are going to expect him to stay, hate him if he doesn't. Even more than they will this way, she means.

“I do,” Julius says. “You’ll come with me, right?”

“As long as it’s to a decent city, sure,” Erin says, and the offence on his face is exactly what he deserves for asking such a ridiculous fucking question in the first place.

[daiseukiis]

MANEATER ; killer peter alipede x oc fic that will probably never leave my drafts ( this was just a random scene )

jihoon entered the room right after haeun, closing the doors behind him. with a small glance back and listening to the click of the door closing she instantly turned around. her body leans onto his, chest to chest as wraps her arms around his shoulders to pull herself closer. cherry lip glossed lips connect to the soft touch of jihoon’s without skipping a beat. jihoon accepts her actions, hands travelling down to the crevasses of her ass. their lips tugged and pulled, tongues fighting for dominance with soft moans escaping haeun’s lips. 

“i was wondering who you were.” 

before jihoon could react to her movements, haeun’s hands had snatched off the mask he was wearing when she took a step back. the man stood bewildered in front of the girl whose lips curve up into a smirk. what just happened? she saw through his disguise?

her thumb slowly swipes the saliva off her lips, right hand holding on to some sort of mask which had skin-like texture. chocolate hues stare seductively right at the man’s crimson eyes. she couldn’t deny it, the man who was after her was way too fine to be confined under this mask. her heart even skipped a bit at the sight of him, chuckling lowly at her new profound discovery. hell, she actually felt a tad bit upset she stopped kissing him.

“i didn’t expect the pretty boy from the strip club to come looking for me.” 

alipede for once was shocked to see that someone actually saw through his disguise. in fact, he’s even amused at how she was easily able to tell he wasn’t the person who she knew. pale hands run through his snow-like strands, “how’d you know i wasn’t him?”

“jihoon just told me he’s gay. no way he’d kiss me back like you did.” haeun deadpans, watching the shocked look on alipede’s face and chuckling at the reaction. she stares at the mask and wig in her hand, slightly grimacing at the smell of it before tossing to the side. “i smelt your makeup… is it that fx effects stuff?”

“smart cookie, aren’t you?”

“the shading on your face gave it away.” alipede raises his brow at her statement, not fully grasping what she meant. before he could question her about it she speaks again. “but… how’d you even find me?” “do you really want to know?” he moves forward towards her, watching as she cocks her head to the side, humming in response to him. “hm, to confess your undying love to me?”

“sure you aren’t the one that wants to confess their undying love to me?” he cages her body by placing his hands by her behind the table. with a cocky look he lowers himself to be eye level with haeun and teases her. “that kiss was a bit too intimate for someone you just met.”

two can play this game is exactly what haeun was thinking. “they don’t call me the maneater for nothing.” sure, her rather infamous nickname was a bit intimidating on campus. but who could blame her? she was ranked the most beautiful girl at the university, all the boys would practically fall and drool at the sight of her. haeun slides her hand up his muscular chest, slowly grabbing hold of his tie and pulling his face closer to her. half lidded eyelids flutter, glancing at his lips and back to his eyes as she pouts– breath just mere centimeters away from his lips.

“being pretty is hard~”

“sure it is, bunny.”

haeun mirrors the smirk on alipede’s lips, not intimidated at the slightest by his stature. though one thing for sure was she couldn’t help but stare at his lips– the same ones that were on hers moments ago. the moment to savour him was cut short when she quickly shoves him from herself, leaning back just to miss his knives from cutting her neck off. she swore she saw him trim some strands of her hair.

“it’s not nice to use that name here,” hands on the counter as she lifts herself up, legs swinging around to flip on top the table. alipede scoffs at her words, sensing the sudden acrobatic move she displaced— he knew now she wasn’t a regular target. haeun pouts, “you’ll blow my cover.” 

“you’re more flexible than i thought.” she gasps, feigning being offend, even putting a hand over her chest to show how hurt she was by his comments. haeun jumps off the counter once alipede swings his knife at her to dodge.

“you saw me on that pole,” dodging his attacks she continues to be indifferent; it kinda pissed alipede off actually. she reminds him of their first encounter on that late night, gazes stuck on to each other when she was doing her performance. “offended you didn’t see my skills.”

swinging his weapon once more but haeun grabs a chair to deflect his attack. the knife goes and breaks the chair which makes her panic for a moment. haeun attempts to step back, kicking the knife out of his hand but couldn't react fast enough to when alipede had grabbed hold of her wrists.

“oh, i saw it.” he slams her by the wrists to the ledge by the windows as haeun gasps at the impact. her chocolate hues widen while looking at his crimson ones. alipede couldn't help but remember that night the way he knew it as, scoffing at her as a tease. “danced like a bitch in heat, bunny.”

“so rude! i have a name. you didn’t even tell me yours.” it was odd that she wasn't as scared as she should be for someone who was going to die, he was even baffled that she prioritized trying to get his name rather than begging him to save her life ( not like he would though ).

“you’re gonna die anyways, but what the hell? alipede.”

“awh, can’t i just call you mine?” 

“trying to flirt your way outta this?” now, he was actually amused and super annoyed. till the bitter end was she just going to piss him off? he takes her wrists in one hand and pins her arms above her head, his hands that were meant to kill wraps around her neck. haeun coos a little too seductively, “i like being choked.”

before alipede has the chance to process what she said the blinds behind her instantly rolled up. “if you try to kill me now, you’ll be the first suspect the police look for.” haeun smirks at him, her one hand on his wrist in hopes he would loosen it.

oh, he was actually impressed. “so that’s what your aim was.” deciding he would play this game with her, his hand presses a bit tighter on haeun's neck which she releases a gasp for- music to his ears. yet haeun didn't waver, knowing full well that her plan had succeeded.

“everyone has eyes on us, some sort of rumour of you and me is probably gonna start up.” she's right. alipede could sense the gazes of bystanders and hear the soft chatters about what they were doing. he could hear the gasps and whistles even, obviously thinking that they were about to get down and nasty. haeun smiles, “though, wouldn’t mind it if it was you~”

“fuck off.” alipede releases his hold on her, hands forming into fists. haeun touches her neck, though feels the rushed heart beat caused by adrenaline as she looks at alipede. knowing that he would no longer go after her for now, she had no choice but make her escape fast; though without inviting him for something... more.

“let’s hook up at the club later, m’kay~?” haeun's flirtatious tone doesn't go unnoticed by him. leaning to the right as her one hand outstretched on the doorframe. giving alipede a wink and a floating kiss, she moves her hips to exit the room in triumph. “see ya, pretty boy.”

he wants to groan in annoyance, how could he have fucked up this mission because of some sweet sounding and probably goddess like looking girl? wait, why was he even thinking about the target like that?

did he just lose?

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !

© daiseukiis 2024. all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, translate without permission. do not claim work or layout as yours.

[thinkingaboutfilm11]

Hi!!!! I'm going to be entirely honest, I want to believe that he's bisexual but a lot of news articles from "close friends" say he's not. So in what ways do you think he's bisexual? I don't mean that in a bad way, but more curious way. Also, I'm a HUGE fan of your account and I think your writing is so amazing 😍

Heya Anon! Thank you for being so sweet 🥹 you made my evening yesterday!! Apologies for the spelling mistakes in this im at work and don’t have my PC on me!

Yeah with Ayrton its a tricky one. Of course the bottom line is well never know, and I also never want to disrespect him or his memory by speculating too much (although that ship probably sailed when I wrote A/B/O fanfiction about him 💀💀💀). But, personally I do think that bro swung both ways, although I don’t think its something he ever would have labeled or come to terms with.

I think Ayrton had a few genuine relationships with women- most prominently Adriane Galistou. I think he liked her because unlike his past relationships, she actually understood the importance of his job, supported him and was happy to be second in his life to racing. She seemed to genuinely understand him, and also put up with alot of his shit, because she knew what racing meant to him- and understood that he couldn’t live without it.

That being said, I do think Ayrton had an interesting relationship with men- most obviously Alain. His obsession with Alain, how he simultaneously idolised and hated him, which later turned into intense affection and friendship. I think Ayrton’s obsession did go past platonic, at that extreme i think it’s difficult to draw clean lines between where platonic starts and romantic begins. Alain to this day talks about how they ‘loved’ each other and were ‘two half’s a whole’, even though i am not sure if ayrton ever did anything about it, or if he even consciously acknowledged it- I think he did have romantic feelings for Alain on at least some level. I believe thats why he acted so intensely to Piquet calling him gay publicly. Perhaps he was paranoid.

And of course, in 1980’s while being Gay in Brasil was legal, it would have been very greatly frowned upon, especially by the catholic community Ayrton was such a big part of. As I mentioned in my previous post, Ayrton’s father made him fire his homosexual friend just because of rumours- I find it hard to believe Ayrton would ever have been accepted by those he loved. He probably had alot of internal stigmas regarding it. Especially being so religious.

[alphajocklover]

Hey EB Jewelry, I was looking for a new watch, but I saw your CEO and…my god is he handsome and just perfect! I couldn’t focus on anything else after I saw him. Do you have anything that can make me look more like him and bring me into contact with him?

The following is a copy of an email sent to an unknown man after he sent the before mentioned request to EB Jewelry. I’ve removed any personal information to keep his (old) identity a secret. Hope you guys enjoy!

Dear [REDACTED]

I see you’ve fallen for the charms of our newest CEO, Colin Cambridge. You’re not the only one. It seems like everyone in the company has a crush on him, although the craze has died down quite a bit since he and the CFO, Ben Bright, got engaged. You can’t really get mad at either of them though. Mr. Bright is just as charming, sexy, and manly as Mr Cambridge is, though a little more numbers minded. They’re the perfect match, and the perfect partnership, though some people find it strange that he's so close to his CFO and not the COO, who is the usual position for the second in command at a business. I suppose that’s because we don’t have a COO yet.

Anyways, let’s talk about your request. You seem aware of our products powers, so I can only assume you either have been following the work of, or are one of those pesky transformation based reporters. You also seem to have serious feelings for our CEO, and a willingness to transform… so based on all of that I’d like to welcome you to your new job with EB Jewelry!

Yes, you are going to be the perfect C-Level executive, the perfect COO. But I probably shouldn’t give too much away, the transformation is always much more pleasant when it’s a surprise. I’ve already sent you a very nice set of cufflinks that Mr Cambridge and Mr Bright picked out themselves, along with a brand new suit to match. They’re both very excited to meet you, the new you that is, and hope to work with you closely. Now, I’m afraid you won’t end up looking much like Mr Cambridge. Don’t misunderstand, you’ll end up just as muscular and handsome, but we need our executives to have a little more diversity. 3 white men, even gay men, in the main positions of power in our company is not the image the company wants to portray. It’s bad enough we have practically no women working here. So, you’ll become a very handsome black man.

I look forward to working for you Mr. Davis. That’s what your name is going to be, Mr. Dwayne Davis. At least for now. I don’t know if you’ll be changing it when you, Mr Cambridge, and Mr Bright get married. I know some people think it’s strange the three of you are together romantically and running a company together, but I think it’s wonderful. It just makes sense to me. The three of you are the perfect trio afterall.

[skyler10fic]

WonderGirls Ch. 4

Summary: Things get real as Maria Hill calls out Carol for her obvious affection for Daisy. It backfires as Carol and Daisy engage in some more forbidden K-I-S-S-I-N-G, but this time with a define-the-relationship talk attached. :) Notes: May have been bitter about SoCal October when I wrote this, in case you couldn't tell from the first paragraph.

Read on Ao3

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October in LA was anything but autumnal. Temperatures were still more appropriate for beach-going and shorts than leaf piles and flannels. Plus wildfire smoke air quality levels this time of year were making outdoor shoots a health hazard. So the WonderGirls cast and crew were scheduled to fly out to New York at an ungodly early hour this morning on the studio’s plane. 

In the first-class section with the cast’s spacious seats, Daisy and Carol sat down side by side without thinking about it. They had spent so much time together working, rehearsing, and hanging out in each other’s trailers that they had become a pair by default. The other half of the WonderGirls team, Monica and Kamala, had already known each other from previous Wonder projects they had worked together on, so they were another natural pair. And the other actors paired off with each other or with crew members or family they were bringing along. 

So it wouldn’t have been noticeable to anyone that Daisy and Carol were sitting together as anything other than friendly coworkers if it weren’t for how sleepy Daisy was. She and Carol were already sitting close, whispering about their favorite things to do in New York while the others got settled in and eventually fell asleep. Daisy’s eyes fluttered closed too, and Carol covered them both with a blanket and stroked Daisy’s hand under the blanket with her thumb. Daisy’s travel pillow slipped as she got comfortable, and it leaned against Carol’s shoulder. Carol couldn’t help it. In the dark plane, with no one else awake, she leaned in the final inch to peck a light kiss to Daisy’s forehead. She stiffened as she realized what she had done, but Daisy didn’t wake. 

Carol felt a tap on her shoulder and all the color drained her from face as she looked up. Director Maria Hill pointed to the lounge area between the first class and business class sections where the middle-ranking crew and minor actors were sitting. 

Maria mouthed the word “Now.” Carol swallowed and unbuckled as quietly as she could, arranging the pillow carefully so that Daisy didn’t fall over, following Maria to the lounge. Maria slid the thin folding door shut. 

“Look,” Maria began. “I get that this is a confusing time. You two are supposed to be like this on screen. It’s common, expected even, that it would bleed into your real lives. But of all people, you know what’s at stake here.” 

“We didn’t… We aren’t…” Carol fumbled. 

“It looks like you are, from where I’m standing. And I don’t just mean that.” Maria pointed to their seats. “Carol, I’m looking at footage every day of the two of you. It’s fine to do whatever you want in your personal life after the movie is done. I don’t care. Hell, if you were just two normal actors, I’d encourage it even. You’re perfect for each other. You two would be a big gay rom-com director’s PR dream.” 

Carol blushed bright pink. She knew exactly where this was going. “But we’re not on a big gay rom-com.”   

“Bingo. You’re somewhere very different called a rock and a hard place. You two have to sell that Dani and Skye are LGBTQ representation for the marketing and fans, but only to the point of speculation and theories. We’re going for plausible deniability and subtext here.” 

This early in the morning, Carol couldn’t help the word that came out of her mouth next. “Queerbaiting.” 

Maria blinked. She hadn’t expected the amiable, cool girl America’s Sweetheart to do anything but deny her relationship with Daisy. “No, it’s called a win-win.” 

“Queerbaiting. That’s the word for it.” Carol squared her jaw. “It’s not a win if queer girls everywhere have to guess and hope and be let down when we lead them on.” 

Maria scoffed. “It’s not like that. We’re not pairing either of you up with some man at the end or killing you off or whatever. People are free to form their own opinions.” 

Carol leaned back against the plane wall. “But you won’t confirm it either.” 

“You know why we can’t,” Maria shot back. “It was a battle just to get us this far. We’re already getting threats of protests from conservative religious groups.” 

Carol shook her head. “Then let’s go all the way with it!” 

Maria couldn’t help but chuckle at Carol’s phrasing. “Well, we still have to keep it PG, so ‘all the way’ wasn’t ever on the table.” 

“I didn’t… You know what I meant,” Carol exhaled in good humor at Maria’s teasing. She admitted it was a funny accidental innuendo. “But c’mon, Maria, let them kiss. It’s so natural. Just once.”

Maria observed Carol with a wry half-smile still on her face. “Yeah, and what am I supposed to tell the studio when it’s perfect so it stays in the final director’s cut, and then it leaks to the press, international markets and the Southern U.S. boycott, and we’re all getting hatemail before opening weekend?” 

“It would not be the first time Wonder has cut a few seconds out of a film to make it play internationally.” Carol had done her research to be sure and came prepared. “And it’s an all-female led film with a cast list that looks like a corporate diversity panel. The conservatives here are going to hate it no matter what we do.” 

Maria sombered and laid an almost motherly, or at least sisterly, hand on Carol’s shoulder. “Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you two? And all of us. It’s not just about protecting the studio. Being out in Hollywood isn’t just about gossip and limiting your career options and type casting. Some of this hatemail gets scary. Wonder can handle it, but death threats and violence? They have to take those seriously.” 

Carol felt like she’d been punched in the gut. “Out actors at this level have gotten death threats? Recently?” 

Maria nodded. “And closeted actors and allies who just played queer characters. Maybe you’ve played it safe enough not to get them. This is not just about a kiss, Carol. The two of you out and together in front of the press in a real relationship, confirmed or not—it’s a risky choice in this political climate. Think about it. You and Daisy both have long careers ahead of you. Is a little filming fling situationship worth it? Is a two-second kiss between your characters the battle you really want to fight? Not just with the studio, but with the public?”   

The airplane’s pilot announced they would be encountering turbulence soon and seatbelts were required, so Maria and Carol quietly made their way back to their seats. Daisy had turned to lean her pillow against the window in Carol’s absence. It was for the best. Carol needed time to think. If this “situationship” with Daisy was just that—in reality, nothing more than a fling between romantic leads taking work too far—Carol couldn’t risk it. Not just for herself, but for Daisy. Daisy had queer fans looking up to her as a role model. They would see any homophobic protests and corporate decisions made in reaction to threats. They’d feel the hate as personal. Carol knew because she’d been a young closeted queer girl herself, watching out or thinly closeted celebrities have to dodge the topic in interviews and still get trash thrown at them in public or navigate mass boycotts of their work. 

It hurt. It hurt like hell. 

But part of her also said that’s why it was important to do it anyway. All of it: come out explicitly, not hide her affection for Daisy, fight the studio to get the characters’ kiss included. That’s how change happened; that’s how they moved forward from being scared of the past. Of course, the key person in all of this wasn’t Maria or any studio executive. It was the girl sitting right next to her, adorably waking up and asking if the flight attendants had been by yet with coffee. 

“Not yet.” Carol brushed Daisy’s hair back with her fingers, smoothing it down from its messy state. “You look like you’ve been sleeping on a plane.” 

“Gee, thanks,” Daisy laughed and rubbed her eyes with her fingertips. The rest of the plane began to wake as well to the sound of the flight attendant bringing her breakfast cart around with pastries, fruit, juice, and tea. Another came around with a notepad, taking coffee orders for the fancy first-class-worthy espresso machine.  

—-------------- 

Daisy probably shouldn’t have been surprised at the luxury of their hotel in New York, but the stunning view of the autumn leaves in the park and the buildings below were only rivaled by the indoor view: a marble bathroom, a big fluffy bed, and antique furniture. Everything about this place said “the stars stay here,” with the ghosts of Old Hollywood and Broadway probably still haunting the halls. 

“Is your room this gorgeous?” Daisy texted Carol, and to her delight, heard the ping in the next room. “Wait, are you my neighbor?”

Carol knocked on the other side of an ornate antique wood door that Daisy hadn’t yet noticed. Daisy unlocked the door and threw it open to reveal a grinning Carol. 

“The answer to both questions is yes,” Carol said. “Because it’s the other half of this one.” 

“Did you know?!” 

“No,” Carol laughed. “At least, I didn’t plan it. I heard you in the hall talking to someone when you came in and put the pieces together.” 

“Well, someone planned it.”

“Not Maria,” Carol sighed. At Daisy’s inquisitive look, Carol beckoned her in. 

Daisy focused on the scenery outside. “Oh my god, your view is even better than mine.” 

Carol laughed. “They are right next door!” 

Daisy took the liberty of sitting on the end of the bed. “So what’s this about Maria? Does she not like that we’re hanging out off set?” 

Carol hesitated. “It’s not that, but just, from her point of view, it’s starting to look like more than hanging out. Not saying this is more.” Carol pointed awkwardly between them. 

“I get it,” Daisy reassured. “But from an optics perspective, that would be bad? If it were?” 

Carol flopped on the bed next to Daisy. “She is really worried. She thinks whether we do the kiss in character or are seen together romantically as ourselves, we’re going to get hate.” 

Daisy shrugged. “So we get hate. The studio can cut the kiss. That’s out of our hands. But they can’t control our actual lives. The real us.” 

“Is there a real us?” Carol sat up. “I mean, real as in after the movie is done and we all go back to our lives and start other projects. Is it going to be worth the risk? She said it’s not just hate, but violence and even death threats, Daisy. This isn’t something to decide lightly.” 

“Babe,” Daisy said for the first time. When Carol didn’t object to the pet name, she continued, “I have been out for a long time. Yeah, sometimes when I’d speak up, there were a few fans that got mad or moms that wouldn’t let their kids watch the show—one time, a megachurch pastor did a sermon about how dangerously sinful the show was, which was pretty funny—but the good it did was so much bigger.” 

Carol closed her eyes. “It’s different. You said the major media outlets didn’t really notice when you came out. You haven’t had to deal with what I do every day.”

Daisy knew she was right, but it was still a harsh reminder of the gap in their statuses and her brain was fuzzy from not enough sleep and too much coffee. “Right, because I’m nobody.” 

She stood up, and Carol shot up next to her to stop her from leaving. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“I get it. You’re an A-lister, and I don’t even get recognized outside of Comic Con. You’re front page news, and I’m ‘that girl from that one show.’” 

“Hey, don’t be like this.” Carol grabbed Daisy’s hand and squeezed. “It’s our first day in New York, and I just want to get on the same page about public appearances, that’s all.” 

Daisy cringed even as the question came out of her mouth. “Be honest. Is there any part of you that is using this as an excuse? That you’re embarrassed to be seen with me, or to be seen as queer by being with me?” 

Carol gasped. “No! Daisy, no. I’m the one debating Maria Hill about letting us do the kiss! I’m practically begging her to stand with us and not let this movie be queerbait.” 

“Yeah?” The insecurity in Daisy’s expression must have been obvious, because Carol drew her in for a deep kiss, the kind that made Daisy melt into Carol’s embrace. When they parted for air, Daisy pulled away slowly. “Okay. I trust you. But you know, if we’re going to be together, you can’t win every argument by kissing me until I forget what we’re talking about.” 

Carol bumped Daisy’s nose with her own and grinned like the cat that caught the canary. “Mmm watch me.” 

She kissed Daisy again before the words fully registered in her mind: “Wait, are you saying we’re together?” 

Daisy backed away so they could talk seriously. “Only if you are fully in. I can’t if this is just like you said, for the movie. You’re right. I’m sorry I reacted like that; it’s true. I don’t know what this world is like, being recognized in public everywhere you go, people caring about your every word, having to network and kiss ass constantly to get new gigs. Professionally, as an adult, I’ve always had a steady, consistent job to come back to every season and a studio that supported me no matter who I dated. But if this thing between us is just because we’re working together, or if you’re only interested in dating until filming is wrapped or until the promo is done, I’m sorry. I just can’t.” 

“Afraid that ship has sailed, at least on my end,” Carol admitted. She soothed a hand up and down Daisy’s back. “I don’t think I can go back to life without you. What if this is it, the real thing? I don’t want to miss it because we’re scared, but I also don’t want our whole relationship to be based on fear of what people are going to say about us or do to us for being together.”

“And I don’t want to live in fear, having to hide or avoid the truth. At least if we face the hate head-on, we do it together. Proud, not a secret.” 

“Together.” Carol leaned in to kiss Daisy again but then backed away before she got there. “Oh, I should probably warn you, Maria saw me kiss your forehead when you were sleeping, and stuff like that will definitely happen again if we’re officially a couple.” 

“I’ll alert the press,” Daisy teased. 

“Actually,” Carol backed away just as they were about to kiss again, making Daisy whine. “What if we really did?” 

“Sorry?” She knew Carol didn’t literally mean to hold a press conference about it, but she couldn’t imagine anything but confessing into a microphone in front of a dozen cameras that they had committed acts of gayness together.

“Social media!” Carol pulled out her phone. “What if we just post a selfie together on Instagram?”

“Soft launch or hard launch? How descriptive is this caption?” 

Carol shrugged. “We could play with them a little bit. First just a generic ‘Beautiful day in New York’ with a picture together, then a few days later we post a photo from a romantic dinner, then at the end of the week, a kiss?” 

“Damn, you’re good.” 

Carol grimaced, “I didn’t come up with it. It was a PR relationship move my publicist floated with my last male costar.” 

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Just so you know, no one believed those were real. And I’m not just saying that as someone with a massive crush on you. Even my straight friends were like, mmm nahhh.”

“I have many talents but heterosexuality is not one of them,” Carol deadpanned. “Put me on screen, as a character, I can play straight. But as myself, it never went well.” 

Daisy bit her lip as she turned to look out to the autumn colors below. Under the grey sky and surrounded by the grey city, they stood out particularly bright today. 

“Do you think this might backfire? Will people think we are in a PR relationship?” 

Carol came up behind Daisy and kissed her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around her new girlfriend and watched the yellow taxis line up at the red traffic light.

“It would be even funnier if it did. The whole studio and our publicists and our director warning us against it, and the public accusing them of manufacturing it for promotion.” 

“Revenge is sweet.” Daisy turned in Carol’s arms and kissed her finally, until someone knocked on the door to her actual room. “Better go see what that’s about.” 

As Daisy walked back into her own hotel room, Carol turned to hers and sort of wandered around, a little lost. Daisy noticed and poked her head back in. “C’mon.” 

Carol perked up and followed like a delighted puppy instead of a movie star who had the world wrapped around her little finger, at her beck and call. 

“God, you’re adorable,” Daisy whispered before closing the adjoining door on her side so whoever was knocking wouldn’t figure out their little secret passage. 

In perfect timing, it was Daisy’s publicist, Bobbi Morse, who was delighted to meet Carol. She was realistic about the challenges ahead with their relationship becoming public, especially so quickly and with such high stakes, but she agreed to walk them through it. Carol’s Instagram plan was approved but slowed so Bobbi had time to coordinate with Carol’s publicist and send a courtesy message to the studio. They decided they would worry about interviews much closer to the movie’s completion and promotion, if necessary. In other words, if they were still together.

Daisy watched Carol and admired how professionally she handled the discussion and the way she earned Bobbi’s trust and respect. Yeah, it’d be necessary. Daisy had made the full transition from celebrity-crushing fangirl to smitten coworker to friend with lust for more to head-over-heels girlfriend, all in a matter of months. She was in way deeper than the usual lead actor relationship of convenience and proximity. This was so much more.   

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Cat: Initial Thoughts

Venus here, sorry if this is shakier than usual! I have a lot less thoughts on this MV for one reason or another, so it’ll probably be faster and possibly less detailed, but I want to get my opinions into the world anyways.

Let’s just get to it!

T/W: suicide, substance abuse, homophobia

Kazui didn’t cheat on his wife.

As always, I’m using @onigiriico​’s super fast translation of the audio drama, so thanks so much!

In said audio drama, Es says Kazui was unfaithful. However, he says that “it didn’t even turn into infidelity.” Obviously, that implies that it could have been or that it got close, but he doesn’t say it’s actually infidelity, and in most senses, I’m willing to believe him.

At 2:20, Kazui has just recently had the apple sneak up on him again. He seems distressed, saying he “can’t be normal,” and then takes off his ring and says, cigarette in hand, “let’s take a breather.” His wife looks quite distressed. 

My best guess is that this is Kazui asking for a break. Now, obviously, it’s not the most faithful thing to be super tempted in cheating to the point of asking for a break. Still, it does mean that he did stop himself before he violated an active relationship where it seemed like nothing was wrong, so that’s a plus.

I’m not sure if it was just straight-up temptation or if he might have had an emotional affair with someone. Emotional affair would make some sense to me (more on that in a sec), but I have no idea who it would be with. I’m honestly hoping the interview questions might help us out there to an extent.

The person Kazui didn’t-quite-cheat with is someone who stands out from the other people Kazui meets.

This is largely based upon my interpretation of 1:08, shortly after the wedding sequence.

There are a ton of apples, but most of them are red. In fact, we only see one green apple. That green apple is the one that follows Kazui throughout the rest of this MV, and it’s the one that keeps sneaking up on him in the half MV. Because it’s the one he eventually bites, I think there’s plenty of reason to believe that this is the person he has relations with outside of his marriage.

I want to focus on the fact that it is green, because that obviously makes it stand out. I don’t think that this is just to make it more identifiable; I think there’s a point being made here.

Kazui IS gay?

Yeah, uh... I wasn’t sold on this one at first, when I first watched half, but as I think I’ve said before, the longer we go on, the more I think it’s true. Like, yeah, it does seem like there’s more to it than just Kazui having relations outside of his marriage.

The entire MV, he’s talking about the charade. He’s clearly living the life that a guy is “supposed” to lead; eventually, you get married to a woman and go down the journey of life together. Still, the fact that, even at the altar, he calls it “loving affection minus love” seems to imply that he feels, at least in retrospect, like the love was never present. He didn’t fall out of love with his wife, it simply wasn’t ever there. He married her out of obligation.

Through in the suspect interview questions about his childhood friend who he went fishing with or whatever and lines from Kazui’s POV saying stuff like “I can’t be normal,” and... I think Kazui is kinda just a closeted gay man?

I say “just” here, and I mean that literally. If you trust his audio drama, he says that he wants his “sin” to be found out, but even so, Es hasn’t found it yet. To me, my best theory is that he just has internalized homophobia and his big “sin” is the fact that he’s gay. I honestly kinda hate this explanation though, just because that is nowhere NEAR a crime on the level of the other prisoners, so please let me know if you disagree/if I’m missing something here.

Kazui has developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I don’t remember if we’ve heard why Kazui smokes before. I know that Shidou says that he does it because he wants to be unhealthy, and Mikoto presumably does because he thinks it makes him seem cool or something. I don’t remember learning anything similar about Kazui.

Still, with the moments at which he pulls out a cigarette or a drink in this MV, I definitely feel like he’s using substances to dull the pain of... I don’t know, life? His constant lying and the self hatred that goes along with it, probably. 

Obviously, he went to the bar in the half MV, but this time, the devs are definitely trying to draw attention to it. There’s a line in the song that’s literally just “oh wow I’m drunk,” and that line is important enough that it shows up as background text at other points in the MV. 

I don’t really know what this means for Kazui character interpretation, but it’s something to consider. For whatever it’s worth, it does make me believe the self-pitying “act” a little bit more; if he didn’t actually pity himself/feel upset that he has to lie all the time, I don’t know what he’s drinking so much for.

Kazui’s wife committed suicide because... ???

This is one of the big places where I’m kinda stumped. Kazui says that she died because he told her the truth. If I’m right and his crime is being gay... I don’t get it? 

I know that divorce is pretty taboo in Japan, so my best shot at it would be that, in being honest with everything, Kazui asks for a divorce because he knows that he can’t ever love her. If that would mean that she’s dead socially or something, that COULD be a potential reason she would commit suicide? I don’t love that explanation, but it’s all that I have right now.

Other Things I Want To Mention But Don’t Have Full Thoughts On:

- In the first MV, Kazui bites the apple. In the second one, he bites the dove. There’s probably some connection here, but I honestly have no idea what it could be.

- “Love, it’s tacky, this two way deceit.” What two-way deceit is Kazui talking about? Like, I get him calling himself the perpetrator and her the victim if he’s saying she’s a victim of his lies. Still, if that’s the case, why would the deceit be two-way? 

- Copzui canon? I saw that undercover cop theory and mostly disregarded it as “probably too out there to be true,” but honestly, it seems basically confirmed at this point. The only struggle I have is what to do with the information. I don’t think that knowing he’s a cop really changes anything about how I read his character or the situation? Other than possibly suggesting that yes, he cares very much about social laws/rules and making sure society stays “correct.”

- What do I make of Kazui asking for an innocent verdict along with the premise of “I can protect the other prisoners”? I don’t really like him bargaining with his strength for a verdict--especially after Kotoko trial 1, I don’t trust bartered verdicts--but on the other hand, it’s true that it’d be nice to have him on defense for whatever the devs might spring on us between trials 2 and 3. 

Anyways...

CURRENT VOTE: INNOCENT

I was actually pretty shocked when I opened the votes and saw a slight guilty majority. To me, the big thing is that... well, I don’t really know why I’d vote him guilty. He’s useful to us, he doesn’t seem like he’s done all that much wrong. I can’t really come up with a genuine reason that I’d want to give him a guilty verdict at this point, so it’s innocent for me.

(Plus, if I’m not sure, I always lean towards a 50/50 so it’s more possible to change the verdict later. So, while he’s guilty-leaning, I’m DEFINITELY voting innocent.)

[zaebeecee]

To Sever a Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 14/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

•••

This took longer than I intended, but it’s an angst chapter and I was in the middle of writing it when THE FUCKING FULL MOON EPISODE DROPPED and that kinda made it difficult to finish.

Anyway, yeah, incoming angst, but it’s literally just the beginning of a nice long stretch of angst. (Look, I’m a Millennial gay man, angst was the #1 developmental attribute of my youth)

CW: Charlie I said don’t do that, possible abuse dynamic overtones, there is more Vox in this chapter than there is Alastor

•••

Charlie knew that her best chance had come when Alastor came to her and said, quote, “I’ll be out of pocket tonight, my dear. Try not to burn the hotel down in my absence.” She hadn’t pried, simply telling him to have a good time, but she knew he was most likely doing something with Angel. Her thoughts were confirmed that evening, when she caught a glimpse of them as they left the hotel together. Alastor looked much the same as he always did, but Angel… well, Angel didn’t do anything by half measures, and the elegant black and deep red dress he had chosen looked like it was meant for one of the Vees’ galas. And not only was it gorgeous, it complimented Alastor’s usual attire so well, it almost made him look fancier next to it.

It was… concerning, yes, because Angel had his contract and Alastor was— well, he was Alastor, that was about all that needed to be said. But it was so sweet, and they both looked so happy.

Was she meddling again?

Vaggie was out for a bit, so Charlie just headed to their room, shutting herself in and curling up on the window seat. She then immediately got back up on her feet and started pacing, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She took a few breaths to calm herself, did a quick little search, and called VoxTek.

•

Vox closed the message from Blitzø informing him that he was heading out after Alastor and the little slut, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands. He glanced over his bank of screens, showing an amalgamation of current programming and security footage, but he didn’t take in a damn detail of it.

It didn’t make any sense. Well, no, Angel made sense; Angel was property and obviously dissatisfied with his current arrangement with Valentino, and he was hoping to hitch himself to a different overlord who could ‘save him’ from the horrors of the porn industry. It was a fucking stupid choice—I guess I shouldn’t call it a choice, but acting on it is fucking stupid—because Alastor was famously disinterested in anything like… whatever it was Angel was trying to do.

Did he think he was going to get, what, affection from Alastor? Sex? Vox scoffed at the very idea. He didn’t know which one was more ridiculous. It was astonishing the spider still had all his fucking limbs.

But what Vox couldn’t understand was what the Hell it was that Alastor was doing. He couldn’t have possibly been so hard up for company that he would lower himself to Angel’s level, was he? And if he was going to kill Angel, he would just do it. Alastor didn’t play this cat and mouse shit… at least, not typically.

There isn’t any way he actually sees something in that… in that…!

The intercom buzzed, jarring Vox out of his thoughts, and he had to resist the urge to scream at his secretary for interrupting him. Instead, he took a deep breath, pressed the button, and put on his public smile to ensure he had his proper voice. “Yes, Nina, what is it?”

“You have a telephone call, sir. From Princess Charlotte Morningstar.”

Vox blinked slowly. Of all the names she could have said… “Regarding what? Did she say?”

“Simply that she needs to speak with you. She emphasized it is not a business matter, but a personal one. Shall I offer a call back?”

“…no,” Vox said after a moment of thought. “No, put her through. I’ll speak with her.”

He attached his internal speakers to his phone line, answering it the moment it rang. “Good evening, Princess! Such a surprise to be hearing from you.”

“Oh! Ah, yes! Hello, Vox,” the princess said, her voice transparently nervous. “I’m glad I caught you still at work, I was afraid you might have left.”

“Not for another few hours, at least.” Vox didn’t feel the need to tell her that he lived in the tower; he didn’t like making himself any more accessible than was strictly necessary. “A pleasure to finally speak with you. I never did get a chance to formally apologize for your treatment on Katie Killjoy’s program.”

“Hm? No, no, that’s okay. And don’t worry, I’m not calling to— to ask for another slot. I actually wanted to speak to you about something more personal.”

It seemed their airheaded princess really didn’t know how much she wore her heart on her sleeve. “Of course, Your Highness. I’m all ears.”

•

Vox sounded exactly like he did on television. It was so surreal, actually having that voice carrying a conversation with her after so long of simply seeing him on different programs. Charlie forced herself to stop pacing, plopping down onto the window seat again.

“Thank you, Vox. It’s— well, I won’t lie, it’s about Angel Dust.”

“Oh?” Vox sounded a little surprised, but only a little. “Ah, yes, Valentino mentioned your concern for him as your resident some time ago. But you do realize, of course, that Angel Dust is Valentino’s employee. If you have concerns about him—”

“No, it isn’t about his employment,” Charlie said, cringing at the memory of that day. “It’s about his… about the soul mark situation.”

“Ah. I see. What, specifically?”

“Well… I’ve heard about Angel’s deadline to break it,” Charlie said; Vox didn’t answer, so she figured he was just listening. Not being able to see him was difficult. “I was hoping I might be able to talk to you about giving him some leniency?”

Vox made a soft, thoughtful noise. “That could be difficult, Princess.”

Charlie frowned. “Why?” she asked, trying not to sound confrontational. “I don’t understand what’s so bad about Angel having a soul mate. Everybody does.”

“Yes,” Vox agreed. “The problem isn’t the fact he has found a soul mate. The issue is in its visibility, and the purpose his work serves. I understand why you ask,” he said, when she opened her mouth and took a breath in to respond, “but, here at VoxTek, our media is all about… escapism. Relief from the burden of Hell, you might say. Angel Dust is, after all, our premier porn star. Even if you aren’t a connoisseur yourself, I’m sure you can imagine what him bearing such an obvious mark would do to the immersive nature of his films. Few people wish to imagine themselves with someone who already has a soul mate, one that they’ve found. Besides, when I spoke to him about it, he assured me there was no connection between the two, so I fail to see what the issue is.”

“There wasn’t,” Charlie said, realizing she had started pacing again. “But that’s just the thing, there is now. And I don’t think that they want it broken, they both seem so happy whenever I see them together—”

A sudden burst of feedback made Charlie wince, and she pulled her phone away from her ear, cringing. It only lasted for a moment, and she gingerly raised it again when she heard Vox’s voice. “I apologize, Your Highness, electronic interference is unavoidable sometimes.”

Charlie sighed in relief. “Right. Of course. It’s fine.”

•

Vox turned away from the bank of monitors that were now either playing static or test patterns, if they were on at all. He left his monitoring room and returned to his office, slamming his hands onto his desk and dragging his nails through the polished wood top.

“Well, Princess Charlotte, how about this?” he asked in a perfectly calm voice, even as he felt digitized blood running out of the corner of his mouth. “I will speak to Valentino. Should Angel Dust and his… companion—” the wood around his nails cracked “—decide they do not wish to break their bond, I will meet with Angel Dust myself and we can discuss alternative options. How does that suit you?”

“Oh, would you?” the princess asked, her voice full of a naive sort of joy. “Thank you so much for this, Vox. I really do appreciate your help.”

“Of course, anything for the Morningstar family. You can trust us. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, that was all. I won’t take up any more of your time. Have a wonderful night!”

She sounded so… fucking pleased with herself, didn’t she? Vox said a pleasant goodbye, hung up, disconnected from his line, and then stared at the desk.

They both seem so happy.

Alastor… is happy?

With that?

Vox didn’t believe it, not for a moment. There was absolutely no way the Radio Demon could possibly be happy being tied to… to a…

“FUCK!!!” Vox screamed, flipping his desk over as the lights began flickering overhead. Distant noises told him they were flickering all over the building, but he couldn’t make himself care. Let them know he was pissed. It meant they would leave him alone.

Vox wasn’t going to stand for this shit. It wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t let it happen. And if he had to skin that fucking spider alive, he would make sure it didn’t happen.

•••

“This place is expensive.”

“Shh. Listen.”

“I’m listening,” Loona mumbled under her breath, leaning her jaw against her fist and flipping through her menu without actually reading it. Across from her, Blitzø was doing a very bad job of playing things casual, in as much as he was outright staring at the corner table a short distance away.

Loona glanced over, flipping back to the first page of her menu as she did so. She would have recognized Angel Dust anywhere; he had a huge media presence on Sinstagram, and despite being a sinner confined to Pride, he had a massive and rabid fanbase in the Lust Ring. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she followed his socials, primarily because he was always posting adorable fits and that fucking cute as shit hellpig of his (and his captions were always so weird). But if she hadn’t known the man next to Angel Dust was the Radio Demon, she never would have guessed that he was anything but a creepy fucker who wore way too much red.

She was, at least, familiar with the Radio Demon. His broadcast went out to all the Rings, which made him something of a massive curiosity to the Hellborn. Of course they’d all heard of the Vees, VoxTek having expanded all over Hell through a rumored partnership with Mammon, and sinner TV programs were almost more popular than their own. But the Radio Demon had no such partnership, no assistance from a Prince, which meant the power of his broadcast just came from him. That was insane to imagine, one single sinner having enough power to boost that signal so far.

They say the soul of a sinner has infinite potential, as long as they keep growing and don’t get exterminated.

Angel Dust and Alastor were alone at their corner table, and rather than sitting across from each other, they were functionally sitting catty corner, both of them with their back to a wall. Loona would have guessed that this was so they could keep an eye on the whole restaurant, but they were a lot more focused on each other than anyone else.

“What are they talking about?” Blitzø asked as he positioned the camera to be able to capture shots of them as unobtrusively as possible.

Loona’s ear twitched. “The atmosphere. Alastor’s making wine recommendations. Apparently the overlord of Cannibal Town is over fine dining in Pentagram City and this is one of her pet projects.”

“Well, isn’t that just fucking fascinating,” Blitzø muttered, tapping the button on the camera. It took a rapid fire series of photos, the clicks so quiet Loona could barely hear them.

“Blitzø, can we really afford this?”

“Get whatever you want, Vox gave us a card for business expenses.”

“…oh. Shit. Cool,” Loona said with renewed enthusiasm, looking at the menu more seriously. She kept her ear swiveled towards their targets, however; she wouldn’t tell Blitzø this, but since he was finally allowing her in on a real job, she wasn’t going to fuck it up. Yeah, it was because she was the only one at I.M.P. with even halfway decent hearing, but she was gonna prove that leaving her out in the past had been a mistake and that she was indispensable as a field agent.

Her ear twitched when Angel Dust spoke again. “I’m surprised you got a restaurant you actually like,” he said. “Thought nobody’s cookin’ was good enough for you except yours.”

“As I’ve told you, my dear, your pasta is wholly acceptable,” Alastor answered, laughing when Angel Dust slapped his shoulder. “If it isn’t good enough, then I can give Rosie infinite grief over the state of her establishment.”

“Hey. Blitzø,” Loona murmured. “They’re just chatting about nothing, so lemme ask you something.”

“Hm?” Blitzø didn’t look up at her.

“Why were you being so hard on Millie?”

Blitzø stopped moving for a moment, then glanced up. “Because she and Moxxie were five minutes from finding our targets and trauma-dumping on them. And probably getting themselves killed.”

“Hm.”

“…what?” Blitzø groaned, lowering his head and rubbing his brow.

“Sounded more like you were venting your own relationship insecurities.”

He peered at her through his fingers. “How many fucking times do I have to say it’s not a relationship?”

Loona shrugged. “Until you believe it, I guess. Oh, shit, they have white truffles.”

“I do believe it— since the fuck when did you start eating mushrooms?”

“Since the fuck I had the Vees buying me dinner. I might get them just to look at them.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Blitzø said with that weird, dreamy tone.

Loona rolled her eyes, her ears flicking backwards for a second. “Whatever,” she muttered, as Blitzø set up another shot. She glanced at their targets again, and watched Alastor cover one of Angel Dust’s hands with his own. Angel Dust was actually blushing, which was downright shocking after all the more provocative things she had seen him post. “Still think you sounded like you were taking things really personal.”

“I don’t have to put up with this level of emotional manipulation,” Blitzø muttered. “I should have done this by myself.”

“Yeah, yeah, and then you would have tried to get closer so you could actually hear them, and then you’d get caught, and then you’d die,” Loona said, unconcerned. “We both know you’d be screwed here without me.”

“If I’d adopted you earlier, I wouldn’t have let you learn how to talk.”

“You’re like fourteen years older than me. He out of the hospital yet?”

“I can’t believe you’d talk to your elders this way,” Blitzø grumbled, picking the camera up off the table and looking through what he’d taken so far. Loona narrowed her eyes and kicked him under the table. “Ow shit okay, fine, yes. Yes he is.”

“You been to see him yet?”

“Nope.” Blitzø put the camera back on the table, repositioning it to face their targets again.

“…are you going to?”

“Full moon isn’t for a while, so… no?”

Loona rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone, opening her texts and finding her ongoing conversation with Octavia. After following the Goetian Princess on Sinstagram for so long, it was so weird actually being able to text her, even though they’d technically been in some form of contact or another since the debacle in Hollywood.

< hey girlie, howz ur dad holdin up >

“Still think you’re being stupid,” Loona said, putting her phone away; between Octavia’s long bouts of leaving her phone on Do Not Disturb and her spurts of communication anxiety, she didn’t expect to get anything back for a while. “When is this contract gonna be done?”

“When the Vees are satisfied with our results,” Blitzø said. “I’m hoping this will be enough and they’ll let us out of it tonight, or tomorrow.”

A few words caught Loona’s ear and she twitched, then snapped her head over to stare at the two sinners. Angel Dust was looking down at the table and smiling, but he looked sad. Alastor… was still smiling, but his voice sounded… awkward?

“What?” Blitzø asked. “What did they say?”

“They’re soulmates,” Loona murmured. She then looked back at Blitzø. “The Vees want us to break up soulmates?”

This looked like it was as much a surprise to him as it was to her. Blitzø’s eyes were wide, and he slowly turned his head to look at the sinners as well. One of his hands went up to his neck, covering the right side where the white was marred with some other color just along the edge of the scar.

“…Blitzø…?”

He didn’t look at her, but he pointed at her with his free hand. “You’re sure that’s what they said?”

“Yeah. Positive,” Loona said, frowning. She had always assumed Blitzø had some kind of neck tattoo or something that had just barely missed being spared by the scarring, but she was starting to think she was wrong. Blitzø didn’t even look like he realized he was covering it.

“You’re not going to breathe a word of this to Millie or Moxxie.”

“What? Why?”

Blitzø looked at her again. “Because you saw how Millie reacted to the idea of just interfering with a date. If she and Moxxie had any idea we were fucking with a soul bond? They’d lose their shit and I am not in the mood for that.”

Loona exhaled sharply through her nose and looked down at her menu again. “Whatever.”

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the evening. Blitzø took more photographs, and Loona kept her ear out for anything else interesting, but their targets’ conversation wasn’t really… about anything. If she had to guess, she would have said that they were actively avoiding a topic; she could feel an odd weight in their pauses, in their occasional silences, and especially when either one of them laughed.

At least the food was good, and it was going to cost the Vees a fuckton of money.

They waited until their targets had been gone for about fifteen minutes before they finally got up and left. “I’m going to go talk to him,” Blitzø said. “You should go on home.”

Loona looked at him. “You’re gonna talk to them alone?”

“Mhm. I can handle it,” Blitzø said, rolling his eyes.

“That’s a fucking stupid idea.”

“Story of my life, sweetie.”

Loona really wanted to argue, but Blitzø seemed determined to get himself killed during this contract, and she wasn’t really in the mood to keep bashing her skull against the brick wall that was her adoptive father. “Whatever,” she said as her phone vibrated; she pulled it out and opened Octavia’s text message.

< He’s insisting he’s fine. A physical therapist from Sloth is coming by three times a week and he hates it. It’s kind of funny. I’m thinking about filming him next time he takes his pain killers. >

Loona smirked and messaged her back.

< fuk yea. do it >

“Just don’t be out all fucking night, I don’t wanna have to come back to Pentagram City to find your ass,” she muttered.

“I knew you cared about me.”

“Pushing it,” she snarled.

He laughed, giving her that little salute he did, before he tossed her the van keys and headed off in the direction of VoxTek. “Take the van to Moxx and make him give you a ride home before he plants himself,” Blitzø called. “Tell him I’ll let him know if he needs to stay or not.”

“Fuck, okay, whatever,” Loona muttered, flipping the keys around her index finger and heading for the van. Once inside, she started it up, then called Moxxie as she began driving. “Hey. I’m coming by your place. Blitzø might die tonight, he’s meeting with the Vees alone.”

Moxxie took a long, long moment to register what she said. “…wait, what?!”

•••

“I had a lovely evening, sha.”

“So did I, Smiles. Thanks.”

“But of course! You do have so many interesting outfits. It would be a shame if they didn’t get out more often.”

Angel laughed a little, leaning up against his door jamb with one set of arms folded and the other clasped together in front of him. “Didn’t take you for a lover of fashion,” he said, pointedly looking at Alastor’s own clothing.

Alastor’s grin turned a little sharper as one hand came up to tug at his bow tie. “Simply because I am disinclined to change my own attire does not make me incapable of appreciating it on another.”

It was an innocuous statement, but something so close to a compliment on his appearance from Alastor of all people made Angel blush. He covered it up as best he could with a soft laugh. “Well, you won’t get an argument outta me. Sure you don’t wanna come in for a bit?”

“Regrettably, I can’t,” Alastor said, and from the way he smiled, Angel could tell… he really did regret it, even if he didn’t say why he couldn’t. “But I am sure I will see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Alastor moved like he was going to touch him, but then hesitated; even though part of Angel thought the hesitation was silly (especially at this point), he understood the reason and simply leaned a little closer to show him it was welcome. Alastor’s hand cupped his cheek, and he pulled Angel down into a gentle kiss that was nowhere near as intense as the night before, but still more intimate than they had once been. As they separated, Alastor stroked his jaw with his fingertips as he slowly pulled his hand back. “Sweet dreams, mon kè.”

Angel didn’t know what that meant, either, but he liked the way it sounded. “G’night, Smiles.”

•

Angel’s door opened and closed, and once he was gone, Alastor was surrounded in shadows before he, too, was gone. Then, there was nothing but silence in the hallway, only underscored by the gentle buzz of the lights that ran all day and night.

Husk couldn’t decide if he felt bad about eavesdropping or not. On the one hand, Angel was his friend (at least, according to Angel), and doing something so underhanded concerning a thing that really wasn’t his business felt… well, like it wasn’t his business. On the other, he was pretty certain now that Angel either had no idea what he was doing or was willfully ignoring all of the signs that should have been pretty fucking obvious to a guy with that many eyes and such a long history of bad decisions.

It didn’t help that watching Alastor kiss someone was unnerving. Husk half expected him to tear Angel’s throat out with his teeth; that would have made sense. This… didn’t.

The kid’s gonna end up hurt at this rate.

Even though it still really wasn’t his business, Husk gave it a few minutes, then crossed to Angel’s door. He knocked on it, then called through the wood, “Hey, kid, you in there?” Better to pretend he hadn’t been spying, he supposed.

“Hold up!” Angel called, voice muffled, and he still took almost a minute before he came to the door. When he opened it, Husk could see why; he must have been changing, because his dress was gone and he was in a pair of shorts and a large sweater. He raised one arm to lean against the door jamb. “What up, Whiskers?”

Husk’s sigh at the nickname was completely involuntary. “You got a minute? I wanna talk to you.”

Immediately, Angel frowned at him. “This ain’t one’a those capital-c ‘Conversations’, is it?”

“Not if you don’t make it one.”

“Fffffuuuuuck,” Angel groaned, tipping his head back. He then pushed off the door and went back into his room, but since he left it open, Husk took that as all the invitation he was going to get.

He stepped through and closed it behind him, then took a minute to glance around. “It looks like a strip club in here,” he observed, his eyes scanning the room and only stopping when he saw Fat Nuggets staring at him. The hellpig looked as curious as a ‘no thoughts, head empty’ little guy could be, and Husk found himself nodding to Nuggets in acknowledgment before wondering what the fuck he was doing.

Thankfully, Angel noticed none of this. He crossed to his vanity and sat down, starting the process of removing his makeup. “Look, Husk, if you’re here to gimme another surrogate father kinda talk, you can skip it. I ain’t interested.”

“Wouldn’t call it that,” Husk said, stepping into the room and closer to Angel without actually getting into his space. “But you know why I’m here.”

“Alastor. Why else wouldja be?”

“…yeah. Alastor,” Husk said, folding his arms. “…Angel… what the fuck?”

Angel glanced at him through the mirror. “Don’t think you want me to answer that.”

Husk immediately dismissed every single reason Angel could possibly say that except for the one that was arguably safest. “Thought you said even your stupid has its limits.”

“Yeah, well, apparently I ain’t as limited as I thought.”

Husk put one hand on his face and closed his eyes, fighting the urge to start yelling at him. That wouldn’t help anything, it would just get Angel worked up faster than was inevitable and escalate things into a fight sooner than he’d like. It would also make Angel stop listening faster. “I know that you know you shouldn’t be doing this. So why are you?”

“Why does it matter?”

Husk didn’t have any clue how to answer that. It was obvious, wasn’t it? “…because it… Angel, it’s the fucking Radio Demon. I’m not really sure what else you want me to say about it.”

“Husk. Look.” Angel turned on his vanity bench and placed two hands on the edge of the seat, gesturing with his other two. He looked pissed in a far more low-key way than usual, which could have been a bad thing. “I get it. You hate Alastor. Everybody hates Alastor. I am very aware of this, and I ain’t interested in listenin’ to you go on about how much you hate Alastor.”

“No, Angel, you don’t get it,” Husk countered, trying to keep his voice level without sounding patronizing (a skill he thought Charlie needed worse than he did, frankly). “I know Alastor. I’ve know him for years. You asked Mimzy why people were so scared of him because you had no idea what his reputation was, and that was a few months ago.”

“So, what, you think he’s gonna kill me?” Angel asked sarcastically. “He and I’ve been over this, he said he ain’t gonna kill me and risk Charlie gettin’ on his ass over it.”

“And you… believed him.”

“We’ve been alone together a lot, Husk. He ain’t never hurt me.”

Husk raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly at the cuts and bruises he could still see on Angel’s skin; the spider healed quite quickly, even by the standard of sinners, but he didn’t heal that fast.

Angel’s hand moved up to his shoulder, covering a strange row of cuts. “…that’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I didn’t exactly tell him to stop.”

Husk narrowed his eyes, trying to work out what the fuck Angel was thinking, when he suddenly realized… he wasn’t meeting Husk’s eyes anymore, and he was blushing. The idea that Angel could possibly be suggesting what Husk now thought he was suggesting was just… not possible. “Angel—”

“Look, just stop, okay?!” Angel said, getting to his feet and gesturing erratically. “I know you’re tryin’ to… protect me or whatever, but I don’t need it!”

“Angel, he was a murderer when he was alive.”

“So what?! I killed people when I was alive,” Angel said, gesturing at himself. “And I’d bet money you did, too! I bet Vaggie’s the only one who was ever human who’s come through this hotel and didn’t kill someone for a reason besides self-defense! I don’t give a shit that he kills people, I don’t give a shit that he’s an overlord, I don’t even give a shit that he’s a fuckin’ cannibal! And I ain’t gonna start throwin’ stones from a glass fuckin’ house just because other people hate him!”

When he’d first come up to talk to Angel, Husk had assumed he would end up angry. But, in the moment, he just felt… tired. And when he didn’t rise to an argument, Angel deflated a little bit; he was clearly still angry, but with nothing to feed from, his rage energy was waning.

Finally, Husk closed his eyes. “…look, kid, I’m not here to tell you what to do.” When he looked at Angel again, his arms were crossed and he was looking away, like a petulant teenager. “I just… I know him. And I want you to understand what you’re getting into.”

“You already told me he toys with people and then throws ‘em out,” Angel said, turning away and taking a few steps further into his room. “You don’t gotta repeat it. I got it.”

“That isn’t all he does.” Husk weighed his words. “That’s what he does if he has no… investment in someone. But if he does? He’ll never let them go. Not for anything. Not even if keeping them around could destroy them. If he’s decided that you belong to him, he’ll keep it that way, no matter what it might do to you. I’ve seen it happen before. He isn’t going to care if it brings you pain, or worse, just that he gets what he wants.”

Angel didn’t look back at him, but his silence was heavy, and when he did finally speak, it was with a lot less conviction. “I don’t believe you.”

“I know you don’t. Not expecting you to. And I’m not gonna make this into some ‘I told you so’ bullshit if he proves me right. I just… I want you to remember it.”

“Fine. I heard you.”

Angel still wasn’t looking at him, but Husk wasn’t really sure what else he could say. The kid was clearly angry, but more than that, he was upset. There wasn’t anything Husk could do about that, not after he was the one to cause it in the first place. So he turned, gave Fat Nuggets (who had moved to the foot of Angel’s bed) a pat as he passed, and let himself out of Angel’s room. He closed the door behind him quietly, not wanting to risk drawing attention from anyone else in the hotel, because that might mean having to explain himself to Charlie.

I’m sorry, kid.

I’m sorry I didn’t notice this shit earlier. I’m sorry I left you to deal with it on your own.

I’m sorry you fell in love.

I really hope this doesn’t kill you.

•••

The same goddamn secretary was the one who opened the side door of VoxTek when Blitzø buzzed as instructed, and the way she looked at him kinda made him want to shoot her in the face. That wouldn’t have been politic, of course—which was usually Moxxie’s job anyway—so he just made sure to be as smug at her as possible all the way through the back hall and up the elevator until she practically ejected him onto the floor where Vox was, presumably, waiting for good news.

Blitzø didn’t know how good it was, but it was news, and the sooner he didn’t have to put up with this sinner overlord bullshit anymore, the better.

The room was much more casual than the board room where they had first met, something of a lounge with dark leather furniture and dark screens set into the walls and yet another full-wall aquarium with hellsharks and helleels and all other manner of dangerous sea creatures. It was weird, to Blitzø, this fascination that an overlord who appeared to be almost entirely electronic had with shit that lived in the water. Maybe Vox was just drawn to things that could destroy him.

Maybe I shouldn’t be speculating on the mental health of the homicidal TV screen-face man.

Vox was sitting on one of those black leather couches when Blitzø entered, both of his arms spread across the back. Besides the aquarium and the strip lighting along the floor molding, Vox’s face was the only source of light in the entire room, and it immediately set Blitzø on edge, like he was suddenly being hit with a spotlight.

He fucking hated that feeling.

“Blitzø,” Vox greeted, his voice smooth and inherently trustworthy in that way that explained why he did so well in Greed. “You said you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yeah. I followed them tonight. I think I got what, precisely, you were looking for.” Blitzø pulled the camera out of his coat and went back, starting with the single series of photos Millie had taken before she’d freaked out and abandoned her post. He crossed the room and offered the camera out to Vox.

The overlord took it from him and reached up to the back of his own head, pulling some kind of cable from a place Blitzø couldn’t see and hooking it up to the camera. He couldn’t tell what the other demon was doing, but as Vox went through the sequences, Blitzø could see the overlord’s lip curl and oddly hypnotic rings flash on and off in his left eye. At one point, he even thought he could see digitized blood at the corner of his mouth, running from his teeth to the bottom of the screen.

Overlord bloodlust, Blitzø thought. I’ve heard they sometimes bleed from the mouth when they’re feeling particularly dangerous.

He held his tongue, wrapping his tail loosely around one leg to keep it from lashing the air in agitation behind him as he waited. Eventually, Vox unplugged himself from the camera and turned it off. “Yes. That is… precisely what I was looking for.”

“Right.” Blitzø could tell he wasn’t talking about anything that Blitzø himself was privy to, and frankly, he didn’t want to know. “…so…”

“Right. The contract.” Vox set the camera down next to him and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at Blitzø like he was… well. Like he was a mildly amusing circus attraction. Blitzø’s tail tightened around his leg. “There is only one more thing I need you to do for me.”

Blitzø’s eyes widened slightly. “What— you said you only wanted us to stalk them and take photos.”

“I know what I said.” Vox looked completely unaffected, though his smile reappeared. “How about this. You finish this final task without being a little bitch, and I’ll double your pay. You finish it but whine about it, I’ll come up with something else for you and your team to do, indefinitely. You refuse, it’s a broken contract.”

Blitzø gritted his teeth, aware that Vox could see it. “Does saying fuck you while still doing it count as being a little bitch?”

“Under the circumstances, as a single isolated statement…” Vox shrugged one shoulder. “No.”

“Great. Fuck you. What do you want?”

Vox actually laughed before he stood up. “Fantastic!” he said in an extremely sarcastic, game show-like voice. He motioned for Blitzø to follow him, which he did with more than little reluctance, and began walking across the room. “As you may have already gathered, we have gathered that Alastor and Angel Dust are, beyond all logic, soulmates. Angel Dust was given a deadline to break that bond.”

Blitzø’s eyes widened. Breaking a soulmate bond?

…you can do that…?

Vox didn’t notice his reaction. “The deadline in question is in three days. At the end of those three days, if the bond is not broken, Angel Dust was informed that we will be taking matters into our own hands. We have also been given reason to believe that he is going to be… reluctant.”

Vox opened a door at the back of the lounge and led Blitzø into another, smaller room. It looked like some kind of weird, high-tech armory. Under other circumstances, Blitzø would have been stoked as fuck to be in here, but this… didn’t feel okay.

Vox stopped at a stainless steel table and opened a small silver case, inside which were nestled six hypodermic needles. He turned it for Blitzø’s examination. “Your final task will be to continue to follow them. At the end of those three days, you will find Angel Dust alone, you will use these on him, and you will bring him to us. Once you have done that, your contract will be completed. You will receive your payment and you will no longer be in the employ of VoxTek.”

Blitzø reached out and picked one of the needles out of its little indentation in the black foam, looking at it. The liquid inside was pale pink, reminiscent of the smoke that had been coming off of Valentino’s cigarettes, and there was a lot of it. “What are you going to do to him?”

“Do you care?”

Blitzø’s tail twitched, and he stilled it. “…do you want us to use all six?”

“Yes. Will that be a problem?”

This is fucked up.

“No. It’s not a problem. We’ll do it.”

How the fuck am I going to explain this?

•••

oh fuck you Vox

[makedonsgriva]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Omg hi! First of all thanks for asking! I haven’t answered this question before and I absolutely do not mind answering this. This is a tough one though because I’ve consumed so much media and love so many characters it’s so difficult to choose but I will give it a shot nonetheless. Also these ten characters are not in any particular order.

Laurent Of Vere: Laurent is introduced as the frigid and dangerous prince of Vere in the book 1 of the captive prince trilogy. I HATED this man on my first reading but as the trilogy progressed, I just fell in love with him. He had an astounding amount of growth and character development. Not to mention his qualities and traits make him an all around admirable character. I may not be putting the characters in this list in order but Laurent is definitely my favourite character of all time.

Fleabag: Fleabag from Fleabag is another character I deeply love. She is funny, she is selfish, she is a tragedy of her own doing. It’s the way she is so deeply flawed yet so damn loveable at the same time that gets me. We are all fleabag at the end of the day aren’t we?

Baz: Baz from Carry On trilogy had to be here like the list won’t be complete without my poor little meow meow. He is one of those few characters who is very very close to my heart and it so hard to not love this dramatic gay vampire. Just love his snark and he is so funny??? I love it so much. Not to mention he truly is one of the kindest characters I’ve read.

Penelope Bunce: Another character from the Carry On trilogy. Penelope means the world to me because as a brown person, I don’t get to read a lot of books which feature brown characters. So seeing a character who is the best friend of the protagonist and has a major role in the series, it’s very refreshing and reassuring to me. Penelope is smart, stubborn, never admits she might be wrong but her growth over the three books is amazing. I will always love her.

Eren Yeager: literally one of the most tragic characters I’ve seen till date. As the protagonist (antagonist? anti hero? Idk anymore) of attack on titan, Eren is one of the most iconic characters I’ve come across till date. His unconditional devotion for his friends and his character arc from being the righteous hero to someone who becomes completely disillusioned by the end, it’s fucking amazing.

Geto Suguru: I have a beef with Jujutsu Kaisen and the reason is that Gege Akutami came up with absolutely amazing characters only to under-utilise and shit on their character arcs with his half assed plot. Surprisingly though, Geto’s character arc is amazing. I love it when heroes lose the sight of their goals and become the villains instead and Geto does that. His character development is really good and I love him for that. Incredibly realistic and refreshing to see.

Jiang Cheng: Jiang Cheng from MDZS remains one of the most relatable characters I’ve come across ever. Like I feel him on a spiritual level. The complexity and depth of his emotions, his actions, being so fucking good but never being good enough… good lord my heart straight up bleeds for him. I will always love Jiang Cheng.

Xue Yang: Hear me out okay. I know Xue Yang from MDZS is a psychopath. I’m not a Xue Yang apologist either. What he did to Xingchen was appalling to say the least. But Xue Yang is undoubtedly an incredibly well written character. He loved or should I say obsessed over XXC in such a sick and twisted way, it made for a very interesting read. The way he deluded even himself into believing that his extreme actions were all to torment XXC and not because he enjoyed his company and liked him… like girl be ffr right now who tf are you kidding. But yeah love me an insane psychotic gremlin.

Violet Evergarden: Violet from Violet Evergarden is one of the most heartbreaking characters I’ve come across and also one of the most unique. I’m a sucker for stories that tell the most human stories and Violet as a child soldier discovering these emotions, thoughts and vivid lives of people while coming to terms with her own trauma really gives her a special place in my heart.

Howl: Howl from Howls Moving Castle is one of my favorites because he is a hot babygirl. As simple as that.

Thanks so much for asking! Sorry it took me a while to get back to you but I hope you liked this list 💗💗💗