#douchebag revolution

[alphajocklover]

1,000 Followers Special: Douchebag Revolution, The Revolution Begins

I’ve never claimed to know all the details about the strange things I report on. I know more about the world of transformations than most people, and even most other TF reporters, but I don’t know everything. I don’t know who made InstaJock, I don’t know what about the town of Maxford turns people within it into straight jocks, and I don’t know why wishing on a specific star turns people into jocks, even if it is some sort of magical supernova. Even the Douchebag Revolution, one of the groups I’m on good terms with, has its secrets. As loud, dumb — and if I’m being honest, obnoxious — as the members of the revolution can be, they are surprisingly skilled at keeping secrets. They tend to ‘prank’ me and other reporters with fake info, which makes getting any information out of them like pulling teeth. With a lot of persistence, and a bit of bribery, I have been able to get some interesting info out of them though. Including the true story of how the revolution began. It was told to me by one of my contacts in the revolution, and confirmed by another outside the revolution, so I’m sure it’s true. I won’t be retelling the story word for word, due to some of the… stylistic choices made by the douchebag who told me it, but I’ll do my best to do it justice.

As some of you might remember, the Douchebag Revolution was formed to fight against SAD, the Society Against Douchebags. The mysterious group were using futuristic technology and time travel to transform straight douchebags into gay nerds. That might not sound so bad, especially considering the other stuff I’ve reported on, but messing around with time is dangerous, especially on such a scale. No one, not even the revolution, knows why they go to such lengths, or why they want to get rid of douchebags so badly in the first place. There are theories out there, but even for me they’re a little out there. What is known is that they were transforming douchebags into nerds left and right before the revolution began. From what I understand it actually looked like they were close to getting rid of douchebags entirely for a moment. Until they messed with the wrong guy. Or, I suppose, the wrong brothers.

Despite having a 2 year age difference between them, Chase and Mike Hayfield were practically twins. They had the same hobbies, the same interest, and were even the same height and weight, something the younger Mike would often tease the older Chase about. They were as close as brothers could be, and loved each other dearly. That was why it was a shock to both of them when they realized that their close relationship was never meant to be. Before SAD got involved, Chase was nothing like Mike. Chase was a classic, muscular, douchebag jock, one who basically despised his nerdy fag little brother Mike. Neither brother would have been aware of this… if they hadn’t used Chase’s blood for one of their experiments. SAD’s nanobots, the ones that had changed Chase’s DNA and brain chemistry as he grew, were designed to be invisible to almost all tests. But due to their experiment, and the fact that Chase was one of their earliest victims, Mike was able to discover the nanobots, and use them to get information about SAD. Each brother was horrified, but for completely different reasons. Chase was horrified at the person he was supposedly ‘supposed’ to be. He hated douchebags, and the thought of hating his own brother made him feel sick, made him want to run and hide from the truth they had discovered. Mike, however, was horrified that someone had been manipulating his brother’s life. He believed that no one should be able to manipulate someone's life like that, to change them on such a level without permission or even letting the person know what they had lost. He was scared he’d lose his big brother… but he wanted his big brother to be who he really was. He could see that a part of Chase, a part of him he wasn’t even aware of, missed who he used to be, and he was the one who convinced Chase to take the cure they synthesized. Mike Hayfield, a complete nerd, was the one who started the Douchebag Revolution.

Most douchebags actually get a little pissed when someone brings this up. I mean, they got saved from a bunch of fucking scientist by a ‘nerdy fag.’ But most of them don’t say anything. They don’t want to insult their leader after all. Chase Hayfield may be a huge douchebag, but he never lets anyone insult his little brother.

**Hope you guys like this! I actually had a hard time writing this one, but I'm glad how it turned out. Stay tuned for more!**

[tricornonthecob]

I'm reading Joseph Plumb-Martin's Narrative of a Revolutionary Soldier and oh my god I will never need another amrev memoir this grandpa is so sarcastic and sassy.

[princess00wifi]

I said this on the night Max won the title and I’m gonna say it again tonight. By hook or by crook, Max is leaving with his title. This is HIS NIGHT. I WONT HEAR ANYTHING ELSE.

And he’s bringing DRAMA? AN ORCHESTRAL ARRANGEMENT. MY LITTLE MUSICIAN HEART. AND THIS GEAR. I DONT HAVE THE HEART.

[seongpinkhwa]

people are so stupid yet so confident. it astounds me

[traegorn]

what's ridiculous to me (as a brown, queer woman, first gen, whose family is from the global south, a place these people claim to care about) is how people keep framing anyone who is afraid of trump as a white liberal, because that's the only way to justify their argument. they don't want to reckon with the difficult situation of hating what's going on in gaza but also hating what trump has said he will do here. they insist that anyone who's afraid of trump is "fearmongering" because we "survived" his first term. they assume his second term would be exactly the same as his first, no worse, even though trump and those around him have said they plan to be much more efficient and much more violent this time around.

they talk about mass deportation and that is terrifying, when your family is full of immigrants. but that's not a narrative these (often white) terminally online leftists can deal with so they flatten anyone who's saying to vote anyway because trump is dangerous into a "white liberal", conveniently ignoring the harm that would be done to poc if he comes back into power. me and my family don't have the privilege of pretending he's not that bad, because we'll actually be affected if he wins again.

It's in part because these are largely "online leftists" who don't do any real activism beyond complain online. They're like the douchebags I knew twenty years ago who'd smoke cloves outside the coffee shop talking about theory or the revolution, but do nothing when it comes down to it beyond sit at home on election day.

And that's not actual leftism.

I'm a leftist. I know plenty of actual leftists in real life. Who organize. Who do mutual aid. Who get involved in local government to make a difference. And every single one of them is voting Harris this election. Not because they like her, but because they know they can't move their cause further under a Trump presidency.

Because real, actual political action involves making pragmatic moves. Working towards collective good means putting your own ego aside and doing what you can when you can.

People forget that back in 2016 we were fighting for a better minimum wage and universal healthcare. Instead now we're fighting for female bodied people's rights to autonomy. We went backwards because of Trump's first term, and I'm tired of self important jackasses pretending like we didn't.

These folks don't realize how worse shit can get.

Because if Trump wins again, it's going to.

[jockdumboy]

Dumbass Douchebag Revultion Jock Bro

aight bro, u wanna join da dumbass douchebag revulution, huh? respect, bro, cuz we out here makin gainz an thinkin' less, da right way! imma show u how to turn off ur brain an get swole, bro. no need for smart stuff, just muscles an tank tops. u ready? let’s goo, bro!

step 1: stop thinkin’ so much bro – just focus on liftin

bro, smart thots slow u down. u gotta think less an just lift more. if ur thinkin, u ain't liftin! u need to clear ur head an focus on dem muscles, bro. here’s how u do it:

how to turn ur brain off, bro:

grunt a lot – bro, when u feel a thot creepin up in ur head, just grunt. grunts block out da brain stuff. erry time u grunt, u get a lil dumber but also more swole. more grunts = more gainz.

count wrong – don't worry about counting right, bro. just do like “1… 2… uh… 10!” don’t waste brain energy on numbers, bro. just lift until ur arms feel like noodles. numbers are for nerds.

stare at urself – da more u look at urself flexin, da less u think. mirrors are key, bro. flex in da mirror for 10 mins and u’ll feel da brain fog settlin in. if u ain’t thinkin, ur winnin!

step 2: eat like a dumb bro – food for less thinkin’

bro, smart people eat complicated stuff, but we ain’t needin’ dat. we gotta keep da food simple, so da brain stays off an muscles grow, bro.

simple jock meal plan:

brekfast: 10 egg whites, bro, no yellow stuff, cuz yolk is too complicated. jus crack ‘em an cook ‘em. don’t even think bout it, just eat dem. den drink a protein shake, bro, but don’t think too hard on how much powder u put in, just pour an shake.

lunch: chicken, bro, jus chicken. u don’t need nothin fancy. jus grab some chicken and eat it. da less u think bout flavors, da better. thinkin slows down da gainz.

dinnar: more chicken, or steak if u wanna switch it up. but don’t think too much, bro, steak is jus beef chicken. eat dat, maybe add some broccoli if u feel fancy, but dats it. simple = swole.

snakks: peanut butter, right out da jar, bro. don’t even use a spoon, jus scoop it wit ur hand if u gotta. drink protein shakes whenever u think too much, dat’ll stop da smart thots.

step 3: dress like a jock, bro – look dumb, lift big

bro, ur clothes gotta scream “i don’t think, i just lift.” da right gear stops ur brain from workin' an shows erryone dat ur all about da gainz.

jock bro style:

tank tops: da less shirt, da better, bro. if ur tank ain’t showin’ ur nips, it’s too much. u worked hard for dem muscles, show ‘em off. less shirt = less thots.

short shorts: u gotta show dem legz, bro. even if u don’t work legs much, u wear da short shorts. da shorter, da less brain power u use. simple math, bro.

backwards hat: wear ur hat backwards, always. makes u look more like a badass jock, plus it keeps da brain from overheatin’. dat’s science, bro, trust me.

step 4: act like a jock bro – no thinkin, just doin

bein part of da dumbass douchebag revolution means actin like u own da world, bro. don’t let smart people get in ur way, jus be loud and confident, like errywhere u go is ur gym.

how to act, bro:

flex errywhere: see a mirror? flex. don’t even think twice, just do it. flexin' is like a brain reset, it turns off any smart thots u might accidentally have.

talk bout liftin all da time: bro, if someone tryna talk bout somethin' else, jus say “yo bro, how much u bench tho?” dat’ll stop da convo from gettin smart. always bring it back to da gym, bro. liftin' is life.

grunt loud af: grunt whenever u do stuff, not just in da gym. grunt when u lift, grunt when u open a door, grunt when u stand up. it shows ur serious about bein' a jock bro an it keeps ur brain from thinkin’.

conclusion: welcome to da revolution, bro

bro, now u know how to join da dumbass douchebag revolution. jus think less, lift more, eat simple, an dress like a beast. we don’t need smarts, bro, we jus need gainz. u ready to be part of da swole squad? let’s gooo bro! time to lift and never think again!

[syppys-den]

Updated Superman Mythos Changes part 2

The Kryptonians aboard the Argos were enslaved and used as Gladiators and glorified fighting dogs for Mongul and the other rulers of Warworld when they realized their radiotrophic capabilities (yes this does eventually lead to The Warworld storyline and Osul and Otho Ra, and honestly I feel like it gives more of a reason for Mongul to be a Superman villain)

back to Earth, Clark eventually ends up in a romantic relationship (and eventually marriage) with Lois AND Jimmy

much like in MAWSM, Lois is Korean and Jimmy is Black

Kryptonians all have traits one would associate with The Autism Spectrum, so much so that Clark was diagnosed as such after being adopted by The Kents

Yes this does mean Clark was in Special Education for most of his life, and that's actually how he knows Lana Lang

nearly all Kryptonians could be called "Ethnically Ambiguous" based on their appearance

Kryptonian hair and eyes are almost always the same color, (though the former is obviously a much duller shade) and their eyes are usually Monochromatic (like the eyes of Tamaraneans in the 2003 Teen Titans series, or in Clark's Case the eyes of The Fremen in Dune)

Lex Luthor gives off more arrogant douchebag techbro vibes

Clark is more of a vigilante and more willing to break the law to get things done (actually that's an understatement, his main non supervillain targets are CEOs, crooked cops, corrupt politicians, hate groups etc.)

Krypto wasn't Clark's dog on Krypton, rather he was basically a labrat for Phantom Zone experimentation ages ago, and since the FTL drive on Clark's ship was based on The Phantom Zone, it ended up taking Krypto with him to Earth, at which point the beast became attached to him and became his sort of guardian angel

also Krypto looks less dog-like, a bit more wolf-like but a lot more alien

Kryptonians hatch from eggs and don't have mammary glands

Livewire was an alt-lite (or just straight up alt-right) podcaster like Lauren Southern that tried to make Superman look bad for all the same reasons those types try to make anyone look bad

Lobo is Death The Wolf's alcoholic unkempt pervert brother (in appearance and personality I mean)

Chris Kent exists again and has fairly similar origins to his original outing

Dru Zod and his lackeys (Fao Ra, Non Ek and Jax Ur Sa) “The Swords of Rao” were one of many small counter revolutionary groups that attempted to reinstate the old order after the Kryptonian Revolution, but were sold out by one of their own members, and Clark’s ancestor named Kru El (not because his colleagues were literal Fascists and he had a change of heart, but for his own self serving reasons) which is why he hates Clark so much

Jax Ur Sa is Dru’s daughter and Chris’ older biological half sister

Chris (then Lor Dru Zod) was mentally and physically abused by his father, mother (Fao Ra) and Half Sister, but when he left the phantom zone with no memory of them, he was greeted by something he could’ve never expected, a loving family

Clark’s has other adopted kids but they’re still kind of WIP

 There are multiple types of Kryptonite, each with different effects which are the following

Green (glass based) poisonous to Kryptonians

Blue (Metal based) Negates a Kryptonian’s bioelectric aura (and as such their powers

White Kryptonite (Crystal based) no effect on Kryptonians, but it’s what most Kryptonian tech is made of (and is basically a Jesus material that can be manipulated by Kryptonians to do whatever)

Red Kryptonite (Gas based) Some kind of emotional drug or smth

Gold Kryptonite (Liquid based, like Mercury) Enhances Kryptonian abilities

Black Kryptonite (Rock based) used to access the phantom zone

the Kryptonite thing was heavily inspired by Oni18064, though I did have the idea with Gold and Blue Kryptonite before (but honestly I think that's just because it's a pretty easy conclusion to come to)

[anthony-burchs-back-tattoo]

okay i'm finally okay enough to talk about the finale i think

first of all, scam likely started as my favorite npc, but as the whole podcast has gone on i just fucking HATE that guy. he's such a douchebag of a man and the whole "sparrow and lark" prophecy bullshit was devastating for me. hero got traumatized for nothing??? that was for NOTHING???? fucking stop oh my god

gothcleats being canon is the last thing i expected but i think they were the most likely to make it from the beginning tbh. after ten seconds of interaction i was like "yeah okay" (and that being said, lincoln being a coach like darry? please just go ahead and kill me its okay)

theres nothing thats been said about normal i could possibly add onto but i think it makes sense. poor guy is probably carrying honest to god decades worth of trauma

dood being at the dance after the Dance Dance Revolution? crying shitting throwing up all at the same time. dood being canonically confirmed as nonbinary? throwing up even MORE. transgender win

and my final note, as a glenn close girlie from the start, i fucking WON. they brought back my BOY. but i've spent too much time thinking about how now he doesnt have morgan in hell with him anymore and that hurts me a pretty decent amount. OHHH BUT,,,, "i don't know my grandson" "would you like to?" guys not that taylor even fucking needs glenn but can you imagine? they'd be best friends. they'd totally be best fucking friends.

i cant stop thinking about the finale, i've cried multiple times, but that's okay everything is okay and fine. i love this podcast

[melancholic-pigeon]

>sees good post

>post uses "liberals" to mean "aggressively orientalist tankies and glorious anarchocommunist revolution larpers"

>heavy sigh

Guys....words mean things.

Sneeringly deriding shitty leftists as (*scoff*) ~liberals~ and doing so every time someone left-aligned does something shitty makes you sound like Rush fucking Limbaugh.

Frankly, if you don't know enough about liberalism to tell the difference between the worst example of a neoliberal you can possibly conjure up in your head and just liberals generally (an umbrella term that is way too diverse to say "ugh, liberals think [X]" because "liberals" will have dozens if not hundreds of different opinions on [X] depending on the kind of liberalism they align with)...

...sorry, but you do not know enough about politics to snidely deride liberals as the root of all leftist political evil.

I mean, snidely deride whoever you want, just know you sound like a conservative talking head douchebag from drivetime radio in the nineties.

[vindictively-violent-violet]

what inspired you yto make fasist? did you anticipate the response he would get? why did you think he was a good idea

The outline of Fasist was simply just a caricature of british (and by extension every country that could be considered a superpower's) politics. Like he was just how I imagined people like Boris Johnson would be if they were allowed to speak the quiet part out loud with absolutely no repercussions, but he quickly turned into an example of a worst case scenario in Alternian society.

He's what you get when a what would ordinarily be a normal kid is born in a position of power. One that forces you to fight for your own survival and snuff out the chances of anyone else's. Since birth he's had to manage the delicate balance of being ruthless to survive, and to prove his worth in Alternia which is a planet that greatly values strength, whilst also maintaining some sort of brand, so if he were to win the heir race he wouldn't get mutinied immediately.

He originally was supposed to be closeted queer, but since then I have decided to change that to be up to reader's interpretation because I think the belief that all insanely queerphobic people are closeted queer is a harmful ideology. I decided it would be best to remove that from being a major part of his character and still keeping his malice. It is canon that he experimented with his gender and sexuality in the past, but whether he went back into the closet, or came to the conclusion he was neither of those things are up to you.

Ultimately this culminates in a mostly very ambiguous character in terms of how he actually feels about things especially with the current BREAD crisis. The only 2 parts of his real personality I've ever let slip is the most surface level parts of his character. He's selfish, and he's hedonistic.

I did fully anticipate the response he's gotten, as murder twinks are a very popular character archetype, and he's epitome of that being a wannabe dictator on top of it all.

As his actual role in the story, and why I think he was a good idea is the aforementioned him being the worst case scenario for Alternia, but I also think he holds some strange sort of middle ground when compared to other heirs, and also the BREAD crisis.

When it comes to heirs you have people like Writna and Fusoia that are good people, but I would argue wouldn't be good leaders for Alternia given the culture that surrounds it. Then you get people like Remora who is selfish and hedonistic like Fasist but that's the role that she plays. She's the stereotypical heir. Fasist himself is a man who (in his mind anyway) genuinely believes he is doing what's best for Alternia while also still following the guidelines for heirs in Alternian culture. A lot of his bs opinions he spouts aren't even his real opinions and he just says it uphold his brand. Alternia has a large population of rich douchebags and he appeals to them, while also being a funny meme guy that might appeal to other people for that reason. Think Elon Musk before he destroyed his own brand. When you think about it he's the best heir Alternia could have without any major societal changes.

Which leads to my point about BREAD. Currently we have 2 major factions in the BREAD conflict. BREAD who wants to destroy Alternia because they deem trolls to be uncivilized. PASTA who made a deal with BREAD that if they can “rehabilitate” trolls they get to live. Both of these factions are inherently wrong. BREAD wants genocide, whilst when you think about it PASTA wants colonialism. They're coming in here and shoving human values down Alternia's throat. I mean they're even sponsoring an entire revolution about it, and that's textbook colonialism. My point here is Fasist is actually probably a better candidate than either of those factions atm. If he wins simply nothing changes. I am by no means saying that the Alternian government is good, but I think revolution and major societal change should come from the inside, and untouched by any outside influence.

Fasist (upsettingly) as it stands is the he should win, so the other guys don't kind of person. Essentially what Democrats are in American politics. If a real genuine revolution loses then Fasist is the best bet. Which is the saddest thing ever when you think about it. I mean, Hope is fighting for a worse cause than fucking FASIST CISHET.

Okay that's my essay I'm gonna do real life things now.

[alphajocklover]

This is me currently and I’d absolutely love to be turned into the straightest, douchiest, big and beefiest jock you got! Thank you for the stories 🙏🏻.

So you want to be a straight, beefy, douchebag jock, right? Actually, scratch that, if I remember correctly you want to be the straightest, beefiest, douchiest jock possible? You aren’t content to be just a jock. You want to be the biggest, best jock around. A real alpha male. That's a good start. All jocks need to be ambitious, especially alpha bro douchebags. I can definitely help you. Well, more accurately, the Douchebag Revolution can help you. I checked a couple of things and I’m absolutely certain that you’re a victim of SAD, a douchebag jock that was turned into a gay nerd using time travel. I’ve talked about both SAD, the Society Against Douchebags, and the Douchebag Revolution before. The revolution are the people who gave me my time machine after all. So this is going to be less about turning you into a douchebag jock, and more about turning you back into the douchebag jock you were always meant to be. Now, there are a few different methods that the Douchebag Revolution uses to help those changed by SAD. One I showed in an earlier post is a serum that combats the effects of the nanobot SAD injected you with. It also includes a pretty strong dose of testosterone and some steroids from the future, so even if you weren’t already supposed to be a douchebag before this will definitely make you into one. Not that someone who doesn’t have those nanobots inside then should use the serum though, that could mess you up. Another is, of course, the time machine. This one is very complicated, because while using the time machine would mean they’d get the chance to stop SAD from changing you at all, if SAD noticed them your entire life would be transformed into a battle between the two groups, and trust me when I say that that can get messy. Time travel is already complicated enough without starting a time war, so usually they avoid that method. The final method would probably be best for you. It’s called Douchebag Rehabilitation. It’s not an instant fix like the others. It’s sort of a… program.  How it works is that the Revolution takes you to a secret facility somewhere in the far future. They use a mix of drugs, specialized training, and seminars that could turn the nerdiest gay guy into a raging douchebag. It usually takes about a week or two, a month at most, and with time travel it’ll appear instant to anyone watching from the outside. They’ll take you away, and five minutes later, the new you will be back and ready to have some fucking fun. This method does take longer, but from what I’ve heard it's actually really fun. You get to spend a whole month working out, meeting fellow douchebags, and banging hot bimbo volunteers. So, let's get you on your way! If this is what you want there isn’t any point in putting it off. I hope you have fun at Douche Rehab!

Ok. Yeah you… definitely had fun, didn’t you. I can tell from the cocky smirk on your face, and your now massive muscles, that the program definitely did its job. How long did you stay there, a month? You’re big even compared to most douchebags! I wonder how many girls you fucked. I hear most fuck at least 20 girls during their stay but I bet a stud like you got up to 40 or something. I’m glad I was able to help you become your true self. I kind of wish you and the other douchebags would stop referring to me as ‘that fag reporter’ though.

[therealeagal]

I watched the pony show.

I watched the pony show and actually it was quite good.

You wanna fight about it?

Enter stage left...I wanna say Sunny? Sunny Starshine or some shit. Actually I forget her name already. Lemme look it up.

Ok, it was Starscout. I was close. It counts.

Anyway, she's a wee babboo and she's hanging out with her friends Hitch and Sprout, but Sprout is a douchebag, as children often are, and then middle middle, fast-forward however many years and everyone is an adult. Sunny is an activist.

Hitch...Trailblazer? Anyway, Hitch is the popo. The police. The pig. So naturally, he's the villain of the series, right? Wrong. Come on, man. This is a kid's show. The villain is actually his deputy, Sprout, whose resemblance to Trump is probably a coincidence. Probably.

Anyway, Sunny is an activist, who wants the three pony races to live in harmony, after they were split up in times long past by Twilight Sparkle for some reason or other and Hitch wants to stop her because...he's an asshole I guess? I mean he's not an asshole, because he's actually very nice and he's just trying to protect Sunny, but he's an asshole. You get me?

Anyway, Sunny et al are earth ponies, to be distinguished from pegasus and unicorns.

Then middle middle middle, Sunny meets Izzy Moonbow (a unicorn) and leaves town to find and unite the three pony races with Hitch hot on their trail because...it's illegal to leave town and unite the three pony races? I'm not too clear on what law Sunny was supposed to be breaking.

Anyway, while he's gone, Hitch leaves Sproutald Trump in charge, who within like, a minute, becomes a fascist dictator, with an admittedly quite catchy musical number.

Then Sunny and Izzy go to Zephyr Heights to meet the pegasus princesses whose names are...Pipp Petals and Zipp Storm. Which is weird because the other ponies with two names makes it seem like those are actual surnames and not just part of their given names and I can't imagine a queen would let her daughters have two different last names unless she was blatantly playing favorites about which one she wants to inherit the throne.

ANYWAY. The pegasus can't fly because flying is powered by magic but none of the ponies have magic because they're not united or some shit. Also, Pipp is that most worthless of creatures: a social media influencer! *scare chord*

But I won't hold it against her, because she's a good bean.

Anyway, middle middle middle, Sunny and Izzy and Pip and Zipp team up with Hitch, who's not a dick anymore, and they go to Bridlewood and play Prance Prance Revolution. Yes, really.

Oh, I forgot to mention that this is all in service to reuniting the Unity Crystals which will bring back all the magic.

Anyway middle middle middle, Sprout's totalitarian regime tries to kill Sunny but middle middle everyone lives happily ever after except not really because there is evil afoot but that's something to worry about another day.

Subject of discussion: Does being part of a fandom mean you are part of the fandom? Does being a fan of Star Trek make you a Trekkie?

Does liking Lord of the Rings make you...actually does the Lord of the Rings fandom have a cutsey nickname? I can't recall. Ringy? Lottery? Because Lotr? Lottery? Get it? Nothing? Not even a half-hearted chuckle? Ok.

Does a grown man finding value in the story and messages of My Little Pony automatically make him a "brony"?

For myself, I'd rather avoid the label, as I feel it has too much baggage, but it seems the two are inseparable either way. I don't terribly care one way or the other. If I was that bothered by what other people think I wouldn't do half the shit I do, so call me a brony if you must (although I'd rather you didn't), I'll keep watching the pony show either way.

Cheers!

[princess00wifi]

I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love with Max then I am during this match. My beautiful, evil, smart boy. I adore him. I love him with all my heart.

Okay. Maxwell is wearing white and gold gear. And the devil mask. And his fluffy hair. I’m gonna cry, he’s so beautiful. I need him so bad. I have never needed someone as bad as I need MJF in this moment.

[umnitsa]

DAMMIT WE NEED HIM IN AI, AND A HORNY ONE AT THAT. We just need to find someone who will help.

Mayor Kline for Demolition Dom 2024.

(what have we started?)

WE STARTED A REVOLUTION FICTIONAL SLEAZY DOUCHEBAGS DESERVE LOVE TOO (ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE PLAYED BY CARY ELWES)

[mediamonarchy]

https://mediamonarchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/20240614_MorningMonarchy.mp3 Download MP3 Boss babe profiles, Young Thug trials and Rugrats syncs + this day in history w/the hero we need and our song of the day by The Halluci Nation w/Saul Williams on your #MorningMonarchy for June 14, 2024. Notes/Links: The Miss Alabama Controversy, Explained; A plus-size model won the top spot in an Alabama pageant and the internet had a meltdown. https://www.snopes.com/news/2024/06/07/miss-alabama-controversy-explained/ Gen Z workers expos the ‘toxic’ behaviors of their bosses https://nypost.com/2024/06/11/lifestyle/gen-z-reveal-reality-of-their-toxic-bosses/ Gen Z plumbers and construction workers are making #BlueCollar Cool https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13513655/blue-collar-influencers-tiktok-salaries-construction.html Ani DiFranco leads a feminist folk-punk revolution in the new trailer for her upcoming documentary, ‘1-800-ON-HER-OWN.’ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/ani-difranco-documentary-trailer-1-800-on-her-own-1235036483/ Video: *Final Trailer 1-800-ON-HER-OWN w Ani DiFranco (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJZWH3HD1ZY Sloan – “Lemonzinger” (Vinyl // Audio) https://www.discogs.com/release/30792369-Sloan-Smeared // https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2eqW1_hcZM AI Is Coming for the Jingle — And Maybe the Entire Advertising Audio Industry https://archive.is/O3D8q Hopeless Records’ Top Execs on 30 Years of History, New Exhibit & the ‘Great Music & Art’ That Make Up the Indie Community; As they launch their traveling exhibition commemorating three decades of indie music, Hopeless founder/CEO Louis Posen and GM Ian Harrison look back at the label’s history. https://archive.is/2d9Ea Hopeless Records https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopeless_Records Indie Record Store Profile- Twist & Shout in Denver, Colorado https://archive.is/l8Ttg The Young Thug Trial Just Went Off the Rails: Witness Arrested for Refusing to Testify https://archive.ph/uNL35 THE BIG STORY: Young Thug Trial Goes Off The Rails; Plus a bunch of other thugs in suits representing thugs in tracksuits https://archive.is/vsMAG Video: Young Thug lawyer calls trial ‘crazy’ in court (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBvTB4q2arc Harry Belafonte – “Roll On Buddy” (Vinyl // Audio) https://www.discogs.com/release/1520500-Harry-Belafonte-Belafonte-On-Campus // https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv4J9wfrr18 #DeepFocus/Videos: The cast for new Star Wars series The Acolyte don’t even know the plot of the original Star Wars franchise; Here Charlie Barnett twice claims that Anakin Skywalker blew up the Death Star (Audio) https://x.com/HotSpotHotSpot/status/1798515066008199515 #DeepFocus/Video: Interviewer Asks Harrison Ford If Han Shot First (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQDD9YpYlQs #DeepFocus: Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Jon Cryer and Ally Sheedy Have Brat Pack Reunion https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/brat-packs-demi-moore-andrew-mccarthy-jon-cryer-ally-sheedy-reunite/ #DeepFocus/Video: Actor Rob Schneider calls Will Smith a liar, fraud, and douchebag for slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars. (Audio) https://x.com/ArtOfDialogue_/status/1800863862054637982 #DeepFocus: ‘Bad Boys: Ride or Die’ Rides Alone on a Record-Low June Weekend; With a $56 million opening, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence provided theaters with life support when much more is needed https://www.indiewire.com/news/box-office/bad-boys-ride-or-die-wins-record-low-june-weekend-box-office-1235013905/ #DeepFocus/Video: Philips Twin Towers advert (Video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34JizZeglbQ #DeepFocus/Video: The Rugrats Movie WTC Commercial – 1998 (Audio) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVNzQt-1xbw Stray Cats – “Cruisin'” (Gene Vincent Cover // Vinyl // Audio) https://www.discogs.com/release/13685341-Stray-Cats-Shes-Sexy-17 // https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cGlGQzJZ44 #MorningMonarchy: June 14, 2016 – Facebook, Twitter Cave In to Israeli Government Demands https://mediamonarchy.com/...

[rruffian]

poor things

endless bitching under cut

feeling pissy about the movie and the polarized reactions to it, because the movie adds up to none of what it's being criticized or praised for. it's not effective as satire OR feminist commentary OR a story of self-discovery, but neither is it an apologia for Born Sexy Yesterday with a horrifying subtext and chilling implications. no more than Titane condones first degree murder or Hannibal advocates cannibalism or Stoker promotes eating shitincest oh god I can’t believe I just typed this stupid sentence, why does this need pointing out.

speaking of, I got through the eye stabbing okay! maybe this means I can try Titane again.

re self-actualization via sex, agency, theory and class consciousness — these should have been distinct chapters, or they should have been interwoven better, or YL could have just stuck with sex as the main vehicle with the other three as counterpoint (especially since the movie is already 3/4 of the way there). chapter 1: children are sometimes sexually active, it’s pretty weird but it’s a thing. chapter 2: when faced with the prospect of arranged marriage with your babysitter, embark instead on a very primal educational sexcapade with a competent douchebag who clearly states his intentions and limitations. chapter 3: sex is not all there is to life in the long term. see also: reading. chapter 4: a grounded take on sex work, poverty and reproductive rights seems out of place here so maybe some utopian brothel revolution scenario where with Bella’s encouragement the patrons discover that consent is sexy, kink morally neutral and highly varied, and pleasure infinite. 5. return home, confidently smirk when called a whore, make the inexplicable choice to marry babysitter after all. maybe he could instead help her overpower the sadistic brute hellbent on genital mutilation? (who btw is her brain’s bio father and her borrowed body’s husband). and then she settles down with her parisian socialist lesbian prostitute lover and former babysitter is her lab assistant. with now-lobotomized brute as their gimp. would’ve loved to see this movie get nominated for 11 academy awards.

Bella’s relationship with sleazebag lawyer is dynamic and well-articulated, and what goes on between her and Godwin is shapeless and aimless in comparison.

almost holds up as a fantasy of autism as radical freedom, where she can keep trotting along, curious, unabashed and undeterred by multiple controlling men simply by virtue of being oblivious to the limits they are trying to set. some of her characterization is inconsistent with this angle, though, and her bluntness mostly reads as disinhibition that she grows out of. she also sheds her speech quirks and unsteady gait, and generally doesn’t look nearly as weird as a Weird Girl should. because of pandering cowards *shakes fist*

bit of a Miyazaki third act thing happening where the fully empowered heroine handles sick dragon/wizard/father figure, transforms menacing witch/spirit/father into demented old lady/his original timid self/goat-man and there is a crabby house servant and devoted sidekicks and also I find her taste in men questionable.

Holly Waddington 🤝 Kate Hawley in that sleeves should be as puffy as structurally possible.

Jerrod Carmichael got saddled with the clunkiest lines imaginable; the actress playing his lady companion is great.

in perhaps the biggest failure of them all, the incredible production design doesn’t quite resonate with any of the themes or evoke a sense of wonder.

the shift from b&w to color is supposed to signify her venturing out of the confines of her childhood home and into the big wonderful world but it doesn't feel that way bc the camera never assumed her POV in b&w in the first place and won't assume it in color either. instead we get the fisheye lens at random times. is it supposed to be like a sardonic Lanthimos thing where he beholds his characters from his voyeur/god POV going, "haha look at these absurd little humans with their foibles and follies and base animal instincts"? i suppose it is only happening when characters are boxed into rooms.

even though this isn’t quite a sex odyssey, the camera should have stayed as attuned to her sensual experience as it had been in the b&w chapter.

going in I thought the premise was haunting and interestingly abstracted from the conventional poignancy of survival, resilience, second chances and what have you. I wondered if having Victoria’s choice overridden in the spirit of scientific inquiry and curiosity would lend the movie a sort of brutally affirming tone, but ultimately she’s too opaque and inconsequential for that. and in no way does Bella narrativize her origin or emote about it, either, she just sees potential for practical application. very dispassionate of YL, very on brand.

The Favorite was genuinely amusing!! this isn’t -_-

all of the above notwithstanding, Emma Stone is impossible to tear eyes away from, though I’m still not convinced that warrants an academy award.