#like throwing up
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i have come to the conclusion that I may be a control freak.
#rambling#it seems like all the things that scare me the most are things that I can't control#Like throwing up#or having fleas in my house#I cried for like 3 hours straight this morning while trying to clean and I don't even know if I did anything#is that just. A standard characterization of fears?#or am I a control freak
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me getting off of work happy vs happy ele disbanding df and mam and mama going on break
#what if i had a gun?#listen#was i expecting thisv yeah a bit#but did i want it?#NO???#like throwing up#mama going on break to discover who he is hes really living up to reis successor role#madara mikejima was there to help pick up two of his closest friends after things they loved and did destroyed them fundmentally whos gonna#do that for mama#ensemble stars#madara mikejima#mam enstars#enstars
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#why am i like this#why#why oh god#screaming crying throwing up#screaming into the void#writing#ao3#archive of our own#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#writer's block#writers#writer#writeblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets#writer stuff#creative writing#writerscorner#writer's life#fanfic writing#fanfiction#ao3 issues#ao3 fanfic#fan fiction#ao3 author#fanfic#ao3 addict#ao3 stuff#ao3 author curse
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded#back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club#now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want#he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns#he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe#also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions#just for funsies#like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE#no wait wait wait#FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other#and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners
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physically sick over the fact that. In the game’s canon Viktor is doing whatever he can to get rid of his emotions and humanity. and it’s what him and Jayce clash over most. its the center of their entire conflict
but in arcane it’s torn away from him against his will because of Jayce. Because Jayce didn’t care what Viktor became as long as he got his partner back. Hello. Can anyone hear me
#in another life this is exactly what you would’ve wanted. but this isn’t that life and it isn’t what you want#going to THROW UP#their relationship in arcane vs the game already made me insane but oh my GOD#there are benefits to looking into the lore. like heartbreak and PAIN#dani speaks#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#jayce talis#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#viktor#jayvik#arcane jayvik#in my heart at least
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Must be a Sugondese joke.
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#senshi#Looks like I won't be able to post this on dungeon meshi thursday so instead I will have a fun past/future conversation#This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special.#*This* fight is what the first arc has been building up to and it has *so* many incredible moments.#We're going to see the chilchuck knife throw! The leg sacrifice! The bones!#Watch them ramp up the quality this episode and go wild with the frantic action of 'oh god our plan is going to shit'.#Hello. Me of the future who just watched the episode.#I knew it was going to be good but that...that blew my mind completely. My high expectations were beyond met. My god.#I'm just speechless at how well they handled everything. The leg. The tension. That ENDING.#If you have not already: PLEASE watch Dungeon Meshi.
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Hentai lookin ass Bill.
A couple more "suggestive" drawings under the cut:
I hesitated on posting these last two so much when I was drawing them, but that was like two weeks ago, and now I'm just numb to it. WHO CARES JUST TAKE THIS!!
I alluded to drawing more "suggestive" billford stuff a while back, and ironically, THIS ISN'T EVEN WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT SKJDFGDSH I was talking about something else I was planning on drawing. This just sorta happened.
I hope you like these!! Let me know if you want more.
oh, and the first drawing was originally rotated on its side, but I decided I liked it flipped around. That's why his coat is up like that. That's gravity babey!!!!
#Normally I never put drawings under a read more#cuz I like shoving my art in peoples faces. But I'm begrudgingly going to be nice and courteous about this#i was planning on drawing more for this post but i sorta lost gas at the time so i'm just throwing these up by themselves#billford#billford fanart#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#sketchbook#pencil drawing#traditional art#traditional drawing#bill cipher#stanford pines#bill cipher fanart#stanford pines fanart
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i am so so normal about media and have exactly zero mental illnesses
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hey so what the actual fuck
edit: that's the link to the video btw^^
#LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON#WHAT. *WHAT*#ALSO NOT IT BEING CALLED UNIFICATION LIKE THE FUCKING TNG EPISODE#AKA MY FAV EPISODE OF ALL OF TREK#IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK IM GONNA THROW UP#my posts#st#star trek#tos#spirk#spock#kirk#k/s#the premise#star trek the original series#star trek tos#william shatner#leonard nimoy#star trek generations#765874#765874 unification
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the black mold told me to draw this
#*arcanes your blorbo*#continuing the tradition of trying to yoink art styles that i like 🫳🫳#at various degrees of success#anyway ummm fortiche hire me hire me it only takes me 95589467 hours to finish a simple headshot#and also i will throw up evey time u ask me to draw a cop#and also i cant model for shit#dare i say fundamental asset for your team#anyway um this was fun!! ty nene for the gentle nudge#atla#zukka#sokka#zuko#arcane?? style??#my art#id in alt text
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Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child 🌼
#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#dsmp fanart#dsmpblr#dsmp#dsmp tommy#tommyinnit#tommyinnt fanart#tommyinit dsmp#tommyinit mcyt#not cc#throwing up because he looks JUST like Phil#falls to my knees#im back in the fucking building again#c!tommy#my art
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ok i finally get why everyone fucking loves law it's cause every time the straw hats do literally anything they cut back to him making this EXACT face
#im going to throw up laughing its so funny i need to find a screenshot. EDIT SCREENSHOT NOW IN NOTES LOL#like obvs i knew he's a fan fave but this is actually extremely funny. guy who is the barometer of normal behavior compared to everyone els#but who is also fucked up and skewed in his own way#trafalgar law#one piece
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What I liked best about Jinx and Sevika's first post-Silco talk was how well it implies why their grief is so pronounced. Every complaint the two lodged at Silco was an admission at how dependent Silco had become on them, how much he LET himself be dependent. Silco didn't NEED to let Jinx give him his eye medicine, he was perfectly capable of doing so in season one's first act. The same could be said about Sevika, because while it wasn't nearly as extreme as with Jinx, he didn't need to give her so much responsibility. Frankly it's dangerous for a kingpin to give their righthand so much power (it's supposed to be spread around), and everyone noticed, even idiots like Finn.
That's why their loss is so pronounced, in all the years they dedicated to Silco, he gave up just as much of himself to them. Silco weakened himself and trusted Sevika and Jinx to make up for it. They filled eachother out, they needed eachother, and without him there's just a hole what they all used to give eachother.
#arcane#arcane meta#silco#sevika#jinx arcane#the way they complained would have been funny if silco wasn't dead but he is so it's more of a wet laugh#it's really an act of extreme faith that silco lets jinx fight his enemies seeing that at their first encounter she ended up killing#majority of her family and killing none of his allies#and i really want to say more about how sevika just throws herself into her fights (and probably the rest of her work)#like sometimes silco didn't even think it was necessary like fighting vi#but sevika just goes for it to her own detriment at times
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when grian lowkey saved scar from dying
#grian#goodtimeswithscar#tangotek#desertduo#wild life#life series#mcyt#my art#Linktoo art#that ep was sooooo goooddddd#this was a quick warmup but people seemed to really like it on twitter so im throwing it up on other social media
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i’ll take care of everything
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#cw blood#cw gore#throws up over these 2 and their absolute horror show of a friendship i guess#you know how she already had the worst shit going on. and then Someone was too big of a coward to actually help her#and then next thing you know he’s a pile of ground beef on her infirmary table and she has to worry about keeping him alive too. yeah#i swear i dont actually hate curly i like him. also if he suddenly got better i would beat the fuck out of him#anyway. parallels upon parallels and its all too horrible for words etc.
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