#like sorry but fuck anyone who thinks they can abuse children in any way

[elialys]

“What we did to you…you found a way to protect yourself. You channeled your fear into anger, which is why you’re so good at your job. But if you want to save those people, you have to find your way back to that scared little girl.” Even as she stands there, heart thumping beneath her ribs, fingertips tingling with the adrenaline that flooded her blood at her rush of outrage, Olivia knows this is a lost cause. Because he’s right. For as long as she can remember, she’s always channeled her fears into anger—even as a nine-year-old, shooting a gun at another grown man who’d abused her instead of protecting her.

living my best life i tell you

[sysmedsaresexist]

do you have any sources documenting programmed DID?

You know, when I was in school for social work, in order to take the 3 classes on programming, cults, and treatment, I had to have a police check and go through three interviews with faculty. Each semester, this had to be redone. Three interviews, each semester.

There's a reason that a lot of the research and articles about this are hidden behind paywalls and found in specific journals by order to clinic only.

I do have sources, and several are available through Google with proper search terms, if you so desire.

I'm sorry, but I will not be linking any.

TW for the rest of this post. You can stop right here. There's zero reason to keep reading if you already agree.

This is the most I've ever said on this topic and it'll likely be the last.

Remember to mind your spoons and take care of yourselves.

Anyways, support organizations like NCMEC! Let's bring these children home!

Some of the things from my education are still burned into my brain to this day. People can be very sick. The world is a horrible place. The mind is far more malleable than people give it credit for (without even getting close to conspiracy theories).

I would love to offer sources, but this isn't a game I want to play.

I will leave it at this. Dissociative responses start small, and are caused incredibly easily. Training this response in others is easy. This can be accidental or purposeful.

Yes, it is so easy, it can happen accidentally. This is why we needed to be interviewed, because it's so easy that anyone who took that class could go and start fucking people up royally.

I am not exaggerating, I'm not telling a story. If you think it's not possible, you don't understand dissociation at all.

You don't understand how easy it is to plant that first seed of, "just relax," how easy it is to stretch that type of dissociation, and how easy it is to mold it once you notice it happening to your victim. These abusers don't start out trying to cause DID, they're trying to create silent, discrete victims by having them dissociate the discomfort and/or memories away. That happens in a lot of ways and can take a lot of sharp turns.

And so, it happens.

There are organizations that have been doing this for a very long time (particularly within trafficking, that have been in battle with various international police forces for decades) and have it down to an art. The vast majority of the time, DID is an inconvenient accident that they'll still take advantage of, because what else can they do? They want amnesia, not alters. They want complacency, not unpredictability. They want your strength and will to be crushed, not broken off.

But they still want the money. They want the work they put in to pay off.

A lot.

And more often than not, people don't go on to tell their story, unfortunately.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for secretly following my then best friend home?

(tw alcohol abuse, probably suicidal tendencies)

I know this sounds really awful right away but bear with me. Also this is probably going to get long, sorry in advance

tl;dr I followed a guy i was friends with and had a crush on home after an argument, even after he asked me not to come to his house, bc i was worried he might hurt himself.

Last summer I (20f) moved to the US for college. I didn’t know anyone outside of college and overall I was mostly on my own which was getting a bit lonely tbh. So I was very glad when I met this guy (21m) at a party of one of my acquaintances. We got along right away and he ended up giving me his number. After that we continued talking regularly and also meeting up every now and then and overall it was a lot of fun.

At some point I started developing feelings for him but prepared myself to just wait it out and not tell him bc I knew that he liked having a very active sex life and felt like he probably wouldn’t be interested in something serious at that time.

After a few months however, he began to behave in some ways that made me pretty worried honestly. I had known that he liked to go out and party but I hadn’t known to what extent. Apparently he would get totally blackout drunk at least once a week, sometimes more than that and then he would text me or call me in the middle of the night but often I genuinely couldn’t understand what he was saying. Sometimes he would just call me like that at any time of day, crying, saying that I was his only real friend, the only person he felt safe talking to and so on. On the one hand I knew that that wasn’t healthy behaviour at all but on the other hand my crush on him kept getting worse bc who doesn’t like to feel needed.

On other occasions, he would just randomly do reckless and stupid things like one time we went to a museum and he started arguing with the guard over not being able to take any pictures and we almost got kicked out. Afterwards he laughed it off but honestly it made me feel pretty uneasy. (I didn’t tell any of my other friends about that btw, they only knew that I was seeing this guy but wasn’t dating him.)

He has told me some things about his childhood which I don’t want to share here bc he did tell me that confidentially and although this is anonymous I still don’t feel comfortable telling random people on tumblr about it. But it is severe enough for me to believe that his upbringing and the things he lived through definitely contributed to the issues that he has now. I can say that he didn’t have a great time at home bc he is bi and while homosexuality isn’t illegal in his country, it isn’t really accepted either. Also it’s generally expected that children, especially boys, dedicate their entire life to having a successful and lucrative career and then start a family and he wasn’t really in the right place to do either of that (and he didn’t want to).

He also has been facing a lot of problems and racism here bc he is a poc immigrant from a country that isn’t in good standing with the US. So while I don’t pretend I know what he’s feeling, I imagine that all of these things would affect him quite a lot.

Now I actually get to the incident that is the reason for me to send this (it rly did get long TT but I want to make everything as clear as possible).

A few weeks ago we were just hanging out, it was all pretty chill and we just sat down to eat and talk etc. It had been quite a difficult week for me, also college wise, and I felt like I really had to talk to him about him calling me at night and while I’m in class and all that. So I said as nicely as I could smth like “I don’t want to seem overbearing but have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist bc I don’t think what you do is healthy in the long run and I’m not a professional who can properly help you.” He immediately got really snappy and defensive, saying that he “couldn’t fucking afford a therapist and even if I could, all they do is squeeze the money out of you and they don’t give a fuck about your feelings.” I was pretty shocked tbh and responded by saying “well if you really think this badly about therapists you should clearly see one” which was probably too harsh of me but I just couldn’t help myself at that moment. He then said “oh yeah?? I’d rather die than tell any of my shit to a total stranger. But you’ve probably already told yours bc you’re all so fucking dependant on them anyway.” and then he stormed off. (Just to be clear, I don’t have a therapist bc I don’t have any issues that require one.)

I was really scared at that point bc I thought that he might do something to himself (he had said stuff like “I wish I just wasn’t here sometimes” before) so I started following him which I now think was extremely weird and creepy of me but I just didn’t think it through in that situation. He walked for about 10 minutes to a house which I assumed was where he lived (I had never been at his place before bc he always said he lived in a bad neighborhood and didn’t want me to come there) and I stood outside for like another 10 minutes thinking abt what to do bc I realized that this had been totally stupid, also it started to get dark and it really was a bad neighborhood. I ended i up calling him and telling him where I was and he let me in. He was pretty angry but mostly at the fact that I had put myself in such a dangerous situation and he let me spend the night at his place.

We actually got together not long after that and as of now, we’re dating. I know it’s not an ideal situation and probably not the most healthy one but I have been able to keep him from drinking himself into oblivion all the time bc we spend most evenings together now so I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know where things will go from here and I don’t have the illusion that i can “fix him” or anything but so far it’s been pretty good and I really do love him a lot so I just hope it will all turn out for the best. I just still feel guilty for lowkey (or actually highkey) stalking him when he explicitly asked me not to come to his house but it was out of genuine worry for him so idk if it makes me an asshole, I guess I’ll let tumblr decide that for me.

🌃🎀🍨 for finding later

[stromuprisahat]

Though compared to other characters and ships in the books, do you think that darklina could be called toxic from both parties (Aleksander + Alina)? Sorry if this offense anyone I only read the first book.

First of all- fuck offending people. Fiction is written to be discussed among other things and asking a question without ill intent should never be something to be afraid of.

As for the matter at hand- yes, absolutely.

There's plenty written on how did Aleksander wrong Alina and although most of it could be chalked up to caution, strategy and having to deal with mentally damaged girl necessary for his plans alongside more pressing matters like war and incompetent leadership. It's undeniable his feelings got involved, so he hardly remained simply cold and calculating.

He's also a petty bitch, who won't let an offense against himself and his goals slide, if he is in position to take revenge. (See: Genya's punishment, Nikolai's volcralization, partly burning that Saintsdamned orphanage..) Plus he knows words don't cost him anything, but often could work as well as actions (threatening to skin Alina, kill Grishenka etc.).

The main issue is that neither Alina, not plenty of readers see the difference between Alina as a person and her as a strategically important figure, later a leader and figurehead of part of his opposition. Or cannot grasp that a single action rarely has just one purpose with the Darkling.

For example burning that orphanage isn't necessary to prove how far he's willing to go- Alina already sees him as evil incarnate-, but it:

Destroys symbol of the past Alina keeps clinging to, even though it's holding her back.

Destroys one of few things she truly cared for.

Lures her out of hiding, so at least the Civil war can end.

Frees Alina from her shitty mother figure.

Settles the score of dead horrible women that kept damaging their "children" even from afar. And no, I won't cry for Anne Cunt any more than for Ol' Bags.

The other way around is often overlooked. Partly because Aleksander's viewed as a heartless monster by plenty of people, partly because he's the bad guy AND a ("white powerful") man, so he "cannot be abused", especially not by the heroine, from whose POV we see the story unfold.

Aleksander's only role model regarding long lasting relationships is his toxic mother, so he treats harm as affection, therefore we never see him complain, but let's be fair- if he were the one promising Alina to join her, only to proceed trying to kill them both through her powers, he'd be judged for it even more than he already is.

Alina from the first book never saw him as a human being. She found him attractive- yes-, but denied him something as basic as ability to have feelings. and once a salvation in a form of older female figure with puritan attitudes appears, Alina embraces her lies as a word of God, and immediately flees from him, never to stop and think about wider consequences of her sudden disappearance. Her dehumanization of him in the tent scene is quite something.

Alina from following books has fleeing moments of empathy, only to slide back into her "Evil man-needs to be destroyed" attitude. She feels ashamed of wanting him, she finds funny the notion he might've been sexually assaulted, she never considers his points or losses. There's probably more, but this already got longer than I intended, so I'll drop a link to my tag on their interactions I write as I go through the books.

While his unhealthy treatment of her is a combination of centuries of losses, damage caused by narcissistic mother and desperation of a cornered leader, hers of him is about bigotry, shame and will to be responsibility-free no matter the cost.

It's rather ironic, that he keeps trying to teach her- even though it's often the "tough love" he was taught at Baghra's knee-, while she uses "wisdom" of the same woman as ear plugs

Actually, the only truly nice action from her side I can think of is her honoring his last wish.

[hologramcowboy]

https://www.tumblr.com/hologramcowboy/745395618485272576/am-i-being-extra-sensitive-or-was-this-a-rape?source=share

I hope I can vent here for a second. I genuinely do not understand why anyone gave him a pass on that one. Had that been someone like Joe Jonas, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Mike Tyson, Pedro Pascal even, they would not have been given a pass and it would have been all over main news media sites. He wouldn't be making that joke if he knew any of the children that were sexually abused by priests for decades or what happened with the Boy Scouts. There are just some things you don't make a joke about. His Brendan Fraser The Whale joke he made was bad enough, as were some other jokes he made over the years, but in this day and age, there is no more excuse. I don't personally know anyone affected by the abuse people of those two institutions enacted, that I'm aware of I should say, and I would never ever make that joke. As gross as Misha can be, even he didn't make that joke. Even if he wanted to play along, he shouldn't, not after he was so vocal about the mass graves found in Canada and the atrocities committed by the churches up there against Native children for decades.

Any AA that defends that joke Jensen made is a heartless asshole that needs to get their heads checked as soon as possible.

Now, that all being said, I think he's saying worse and worse things lately for two reasons. The first is I think this is really him and he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. Like he'll still try to tell people what he thinks they want to hear but more and more lately, he gives a very no fucks given vibe. Whether that's due to what happened with The Winchesters or Rust or whatever, that's the vibe he gives off. The second is I think he says assholish shit like this at certain points because he's trying to give off a Soldier Boy vibe, sort of selling that character since a lot of people speculate he'll be returning for The Boys' last season. Sort of like he used to dress as Dean with the flannel and jeans, and then like Beau when Big Sky was airing. I could be wrong but that's the vibe I got when he went "oh, that's too far?"

I'm curious as to what your thoughts are. Not about the joke, we all know it was disgusting and highly inappropriate, but about why he presents himself like this sometimes. And why he always seems to get a free pass the more he ups the ante on being an asshole.

Jensen's self image is warped by his sychopant fans and his deluded wife. He has no personality of his own and instead tries to inject in himself the attributes of the characters he gets cast as because he mistakes characters for branding. Branding is who You are not who your character is. Branding is that unique essence you bring to your character.

Sorry to say but this is what happens when a man who lacks culture and studies gets hyper praised to the point where he loses his sensitivity towards others. Jensen has a one sided view in life, anyone who disagrees with him is automatically a bully. He is just like his sychopantic fans. He can't perceive the world in all of its layers and that's endlessly sad for someone who claims to be an artist.

He claims he wants to bring light to the world or whatever will earn him approval but then acts like a jock who is bullying his friends.

At the end of the day, Jensen is a subpar actor who lacks culture in an industry where people are now multihyhyphenated and multicultured. It would do him good to be more grounded and realize that his influence can help people when it is used with the intention to help, rather than when it is squandered on incredibly inappropriate jokes and behaviors (getting superdrunk at cons is a superbad example).

Being praised in a one sided way has clearly gone to his head. That terrible joke is not the first time he demonstrated a lack of empathy and self awareness. I really wish he had good role models around him but he's married to the queen of bullying so why are we even surprised when he acts like a mindless, self centered jock?

Jensen needs to grow up. A lot. Thank you for allowing me to vent, I have tears in my eyes as I am writing this, I am just so sad he's turning out to be such a disappointment on so many levels. You see, you are definitely not alone in your need to vent and thank you so much for expressing things in an honest, open way. AAs forget what honesty and having values means because they forego their own values and replace them with the perceived ones from Jensen. It pains me to say this because I saw so much in him but...Jensen is no rolemodel.

[chaifootsteps]

Oh my god, finally! I've been wanting to post here for a few days.

I'm the author of that infamous fanfic. And I wanted to say, unrelated to Hazbin, that the documentary and Drake's story, coupled with his new music video "I Kinda Relate" is the most heartbreaking and empowering thing I've ever seen. I bawled my eyes out the entire day that I found it.

In the first 28 seconds, Drake heavily implies, but doesn't show, his abuse that he suffered at the hands of his rapist, Brian Peck (who also was penpals with none other than John Wayne Gacy.)

I wanted to do nothing but hug that poor little boy, and to hug the man he is now. I want to tell him that he's beautiful and strong and brave for coming out. Male CSA victims rarely ever do. Could you imagine telling Drake then or now, that he's a *loser*? Could you imagine going about his abuse the way Viv did with Husk and Angel? He literally made his own music video that was much more tactful and empowering than Loser Baby ever will be.

I also have dirt on Dan S and that whole fucking pedo ring (I know a LOT of people in this industry. I also helped take down an ACTUAL ZOO AND PEDOPHILE with a decent amount of power a few years back.) And for anyone still confused about Drake, the girl he messaged lied about her age and he never did anything physical with her. He still acknowledges he's fucked up (please watch his hour long interview and music video) but he's "bound to make it right".

I also just want to say, to a CERTAIN PERSON, that comparing the objectively fetishisized abuse (I'm a CSA victim and into noncon), to fucking SEX ED FOR CHILDREN, is the absolute most fucking garbage and vile take I've ever seen. Poison is NOT educational. It is fetish content for Viv and Raph and others like them. If survivors and fans can turn something objectively negative into something subjectively positive, all the power to them.

Again, into noncon and a CSA victim. I also don't want to see stans taking this and telling me I'm invalid for critiquing Viv and Raph (already dealt with that in my damn fic.) I have been raped/sexually assaulted/groomed/groped/strangled/pinned down/dragged around as a child and NO ONE is ever going to tell me I'm a hypocrite or that I'm wrong for my feelings on this issue. Especially when I also have friends and my own mother as SA and CSA victims as well.

Someone like myself, or like Drake Bell, do NOT need to see how explicitly horrid our abuse was/is to understand how bad it is. I personally had panic attacks watching the episode, and having the knowledge of Raph being an unapologetic rape fetishist, was all I needed to know that that entire episode was fetish content. It's basically an adaptation of Raph's Red Smoke comic. Nearly word for word too. I've written and consumed so many stories over the years to know exactly what's going in their heads.

You know how you actually help a victim? You have friends and family and a therapist help you get out of that situation. Husk "helping" Angel was not the way to go about it.

And I've seen fans argue whether or not Viv is a rape fetishist (she is), but if she wasn't, why is she so adamant on keeping an unapologetic rape fetishist on her staff? He's confirmed to be working on season 2 (God I'm gagging thinking about it) and why does she like so much art (no hate to the artists) of sexy, fetishisized, hot, and sad art of Valentino? If he's supposedly based off HER abusive experience, why does she coddle, woobify, and downplay and sexualize him so much??? I wouldn't base a rapist character or write a rapist character as a fucking "high school Mean girl".

I'm sorry this got so long, but fuck man... it's so fucking disgusting.

Anyways, please watch this. It's got more tact and heart than fucking Poison will ever have. Drake Bell, my heart goes out to you. CSA victim to CSA victim. I hope you get better and can heal. And that goes for all victims as well. 💜🫂 (You too, Chai.)

And Brian Peck, and any and all other rapists, can burn alive in a grease fire. Val included.

https://youtu.be/I5gh8rAVLkI?si=B2eny2U4GZRgDZ7t

https://youtu.be/nSzk-MsVKqA?si=6D4rEihu89Yom7YG

Well said as always, Anon, and thank you for this.

Also, definitely seconding Brian Peck burning up in a grease fire.

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

opinions under cut that i dont think many people will like so if you get upset easily just to be safe i would skip out on this one ,:D

1: every time i see the word proship or antiship or any variation of those a part of me dies a little. do you understand what a slippery slope that is. what do you define as something thats "immoral" to ship? adult x child? i get why thats icky!! i dont like seeing it either!! sibling x sibling? no one should be in a relationship like that!! its exploitative!!

the main issue is that people seem to equate shipping with thinking those characters would be good for one another. it isnt wrong to think pairings are interesting, its wrong to endorse them in real life. feeling grossed out does not mean being violated, and as long as a piece of art/a fic is tagged correctly, those sorts of explorations of fiction deserve to exist.

in general, we should stop trivializing the real life harm done by things such as pedophilia and abuse and incest and all those by comparing them to simple human creativity. i promise its alright and feeling ucky will pass. if you get upset by seeing it im so sorry but it is up to you to filter things. please free yourself from twitter hell.

2: people treat fandom and fiction in general way too seriously. it isnt that deep people are just making things because its interesting and fun 99% of the time it wont reflect their beliefs.

dont even hit me with "fiction affects real life!! what will happen when the kids see it and it gets normalized???" it is not anyones responsibility to parent others children. at all.

can i tell you something? i was a kid who read smut at 9 years old. and lo and behold i am not someone who endorses rape and / or molestation. there are probably hundreds of others just like me who feel very uncomfortable whenever people act as if exposure breeds corruption.

did you know that seeing people say that made me paranoid about me actually being a bad person? did you know i became obsessed with being "good" to balance it out?

you arent helping anyone. this type of fiction can be incredibly cathartic for survivors, it can spread awareness of the issues, and even if it didnt, that shouldnt matter. net zero harm shouldnt be considered "evil".

its okay. its okay, you dont need to be scared of getting attacked anymore. i will defend you with my life. the bug porn you wrote at 15 years old doesnt mean you want to fuck bugs and it doesnt mean youre evil. youre free. its okay i promise. theres a whole big wide world outside of the little pseudofascist bubble you were exposed to. youll be fine.

[radfemsiren]

Hello! I wanted to share something. So you know that woman on instagram who claims to be a "legal brothel owner"? She put a reel discussing the weirdest things she had seen, which included a mother and daughter working together, or a husband being one of his wife's clients. Neither of them were funny to me, I thought it was heartbreaking, and I shared it to my friend thinking she'd share my disgust at this woman and this system that exploits women and children.

However, she said as it was a "legal" brothel, it was chill, and that the husband was "supporting" her out of love. I was shocked. I told her how harmful and degrading the sex industry was for women. But she kept defending it, parroting the libfem points of "their choice", "who are we to say", "in this eceonomy", "oldest profession", "atleast men can go somewhere instead of raping women". I was beyond horrified.

I tried to reason with her. I told her that legalizing it would just make prostitution a viable profession for women who were unemployed, at risk of financial abuse, immigrant or disabled women. I told her how could anyone with a conscience send a fifty year old man (even if he was the sweetest man on earth) to a nineteen year old girl's room as he asked just because nineteen is legal.

She didn't provide a proper response to any of my arguments, outright ignored some of them, and in the end said let's agree to have different opinions on this topic. It's so weird because she's always agreed with me on how men oppress women. I've felt a bit off towards her ever since then. I can't get myself to laugh and joke with her like we used to. I'm just waiting to graduate so that we don't have be in contact anymore. We always discuss how disgusted we feel when men openly support porn and prostitution and honestly, I feel the same way for women who do it too.

Sorry for the long ask, hope you have a great day!

What a crazy response from her! Completely strange to not have empathy for women in our oldest oppression and most violent forms of subjugation!

The mother/daughter one is esp heinous! There has to be grooming involved from a young age, there is no other way… and the husband? If you have to pay your wife to have sex with you, then she doesn’t want to have sex with you. There is no consent or love there, and she is probably being financially abused :/

When it comes to porn and prostitution, so many people are fucking delusional and think “Well as long as it’s legal, it’s morally ok!” Nope! Like, thinking about your examples, it’s so crazy how incest is completely illegal, unless you film it and sell it. Than it’s totally cool! Like the amount of twins that are onlyfans stars makes me fucking sick … like those girls that were twins and there was a countdown of excited men to when they turned 18 and started onlyfans… how do you see shit like that and not think society is fucking sick and grooms little girls 😕

[funfettiheart]

Spoilers for the new season of The Umbrella Academy

I think one of the (many) things that really fucked up this season of TUA for me was how they could NEVER keep any of the siblings in the same room for 5 minutes. 2 or 3 of them would go and do one thing and then everyone else would just??? fuck off? and they constantly seemed to forget that any of the other siblings existed.

The plot felt so disjointed and slow but at the same time rushed because at no point did anyone TALK to one another. I know theyre all dealing with their own shit but the most interesting part is watching them deal with it TOGETHER and seeing how each person reacts to stuff happening. But they barely speak to each other, not that any of the subplots were connected to the main plot in any way. What was up with the subway? We'll never know. Why did they get new powers? No idea. Why does Reginalds wife just appear near the end to go "AHA! It was me all along!" like??? Why was Reginald an alien? Why was Jennifer in a squid? How does the main cast dying get rid of the cleanse when there are at least 36 other children born with marigold powers?????

Also, getting new powers from the marigold should have been way more interesting! A new start, a new problem! Or at least a big change? But it wasnt because none of the characters gave a shit! Which has been one of my biggest ongoing gripes about the series: None of the characters care about what is happening. Klaus can literally fly now and there is 0 reaction. Luthers hairy again, whatever. Allison is telekinetic now??? Who gives a shit. Fuck it: KLAUS WAS SEX TRAFFICKED AND THEN BURRIED ALIVE AND NO ONE CARED.

In fact the way the characters are all treated was downright cruel. Luther could have had some much needed depth after what happened with Allison but was reduced to a dumb guy in shiny pants. Bens a dick and becomes obsessed with a woman he's just met and the entire rest of his plot is just that. Lila ricochetes between Diego and Five and is basically just The Wife when her whole thing was being a wildcard assassin. Diego was reduced to a suspicious moron and was the butt of a load of fat jokes for some reason. Allison flashed her new powers around twice and barely appeared in the plot. Victor goes to live out his dream of working for his abusive father. Five got trapped. Again. Klaus went through hell. Alone. Again.

It felt like they forgot how to write more than 2 people interacting. Fuck it felt like they forgot EVERYTHING THE CHARACTERS WERE AND WENT THROUGH IN THE PAST 3 SEASONS. To the point where whole arcs and side characters that were vital to the plot vanish.

And then finally they had this big dramatic ending... where they all kill themselves to save the world. And I felt nothing but dissappointment. The deaths of these characters that I'd seen for seasons, that I cared about and enjoyed left me thinking "I'm glad thats over" because the characters weren't even themselves any more. They fought so hard over the past few seasons to be alive and to live how they wanted and to get away from the horrific trauma that Reginald had put them through. And then the finale is them just... calmly committing suicide with none of their issues resolved. Not to mention the endless plotholes and dropped narrative threads. I'm honestly angry that this is the ending they settled on. "Youre damaged and traumatised and all of this is your fault and it always will be. Now go die about it". How miserable. How poorly thought out. What a perfect ending for season 4.

Sorry this is such a long rant, I have a lot of feelings. But most importantly: Sorry Gerard Way.

[thestobingirlie]

I love reading fics where Steve is disabled, be it hard of hearing, seizures, chronic migraines, like he's had too many concussions not to have any issues from it. (I think its because I have a neurological disability and Steve is my comfort character, so projecting.)

But something that really gives me the ick is I've noticed a lot more ST fic recently have been handling disabled characters in a really ableist way (100% not all, just noticed more) and quite often they're just infantilising the disabled characters. I've noticed this the most when Steve is disabled, because I mostly read Steve-centric fics, but I have also noticed it with Robin and Eddie.

I've been seeing a lot of other characters addressing Steve and Robin as if they were toddlers when they are written as disabled, in ways that no adult should speak to anyone who is over the age of 5. Especially when Steve is written in a post-seizure state, or Robin is having a panic attack. Like, they might not be fully aware, but they are not children.

Sometimes, its other characters treating Steve as if he is incapable of doing anything on his own if he is disabled. As if the only things he can do without constant supervision is lie in bed or sit on a couch and watch tv. I saw one fic where others scolded him for getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without asking for help, and it wasn't as if he was recently injured or fresh out of a seizure, he was in pretty good health aside from being at risk of seizures.

With Robin, I've seen her written as if she needs to be treated like a fragile 2 year old otherwise she is in a constant state of panic attack and is always totally useless, and I've seen people use this sort of attitude to write her out of the high stress situations. Or she will just always go off on unrelated tangents so she isn't useful because she interrupts the people who know what they're talking about. Or she's written as if her rambling is a liability and she can't be trusted because if she got caught she'd 100% tell the bad guys everything.

And with Eddie I've noticed some people who write him as autistic (I love autistic and ADHD Eddie) seem to have him just constantly biting people like he is a nonverbal three-year-old who has figured out that their easiest way to communicate is by using their teeth. And it always with the attitude "it doesn't matter if he hurts people by biting them because it is his method of self-regulating."

(And no, I do NOT accept the billy stans who claim that it is ableist to talk about the bad things he's done. like, no that man is not canonically disabled (I've seen billy stans say he is canonically bipolar or has bpd? Like no.), he is canonically racist and abusive. even if he was canonically disabled that isn't an excuse for his behavior. also, I know people that have bipolar or bpd, and they arent racist and abusive. in fact they are some of the most careful people about what they can control of their behavior because they are worried about becoming abusive to their loved ones).

sorry this is really disjointed and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to get it off my chest. and I just love your blog!

and i love you, random tumblr user! but yeah, always feel free to just drop thoughts into my inbox, i’ll try and sort through them lmao

i enjoy reading fics where steve’s injuries have repercussions too. though it definitely isn’t always written well.

i think because the duffers ignore his injuries so much, people kinda go into hyperdrive and over-acknowledge them, almost. i think it also comes from wanting steve to be as angsty as possible, which means people don’t treat his disability’s very… nicely? they usually just use his conditions to ruin his life and make him miserable, and infantilise him, like you said.

i honestly think people just know fuck all about seizures, and cannot be bothered to look it up, but still want steve to experience them so they can make him as sad and depressed as possible.

they see seizures as this, like, life-ending condition, and so use them to kinda destroy steve’s life.

i think a lot of people also use his disabilities to get steve cared for, because we all want people to take care of the poor boy. but again, they just over-do it, and make it seem like he’s a little baby that can’t do anything.

i honestly don’t think most of these people are doing this from a place of harm. i think they honestly want to depict steve experiencing these things and being comforted etc. they’re just kinda ignorant.

i am very lucky that i haven’t seen fics that treat robin like that, because i honestly think i’d explode lol.

and yeah, the biting thing was kinda funny at first, and then it got kinda weird… people just see a fandom joke and do what fandoms always do, which is drag it out, and make it so extreme it’s barely recognisable as the original idea.

(yeah, with no character should you excuse their actions with a mental illness. like, billy’s abuse explains why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t excuse it. even when you have a mental illness you can’t just use that as an excuse to treat people like crap, and they’re entitled to call you out for doing so.)

[bohemian-nights]

It will forever irk me how some people blame Laena for Daemon’s “unhappiness” in Pentos. Let’s be for real here, it was COMPLETELY his fault why they were still in Pentos. I doubt Laena would have denied Daemon the idea of returning to Westeros; she was the one who wanted to go back to driftmark in the first place. Any unhappiness Daemon had was his own fault and no one but him can be blamed (maybe viserys too but that’s another thing). Everyone who is like “poor baby, he was just longing for Rhaenyra…” blah, blah, blah - just makes me sooo heated!! Laena was right there, they need to stop acting as if she was just this means to an end. I know she’s a fictional character but it still angers me to see how minimalized she is by the fandom (especially when they race-bent her and changed the important relationships in her life - that’s one of the reasons why I say that the book is the only canon canon universe, not the show). The racism this fandom has is so crystal clear, but then everyone is all “stop making it about race”, like that’s exactly what you are doing 😭 why can’t I be upset about it?? I doubt anyone would act the way they do if Laena was white and it hurts to even admit that!

No one should sympathize with daemon in ep6, he was being a shitty person and incredibly selfish, in my opinion. (I know you love him and I’m sorry to bash him, but I know you also see his faults unlike a lot of other Daemon stans, so I hope you can understand me on this). Laena was more patient and forgiving than she should have been, I would���ve liked her to call him out instead of whatever bullshit the writers decided on. Laena was not a shy or docile person, she was brave and fierce, that’s literally canon, and the writers shouldn’t have excluded that.

And don’t even get me started on how icky this deleted script makes me feel: https://www.tumblr.com/darksvster/744315340102762496/excerpts-from-the-house-of-the-dragon . “I loved him well.” But then when Rhaenyra asks Daemon if he loved Laena, THE NIGHT OF HER FUNERAL, he says “we were happy enough.” Shut the fuck up, Daemon! 🙄

I don’t personally think Laena and Daemon’s entire marriage (in the show) was an unhappy one, but it was in such poor taste that they made their scenes the way they did in show ‘canon.’ Laena did not deserve to be shown as unhappy, certainly not right before she died. I’ll never stop saying that she deserved better because she really really did. And that’s another reason why I’m writing my fix-it fanfic for her. I just want her to be happy in the end 🫠

Thank you for reading this incredibly messy rant. I hope you don’t hate me for this lmao.

That’s nothing, but cope cause these walking napkins once again forgot about chokegate.

By their own logic Daemon must have been on the verge of jumping off a cliff with Rhaenyra cause no matter how miserable he was with Laena he never laid a hand on her or abandoned her when she was giving birth to their children🙃

He’s literally always 0.2 seconds from sending Missy Anne to join Gollum. If he truly was longing for her like that he wouldn’t even think of laying a hand on her.

Lol, jokes aside, no way he was completely miserable with Laena and she definitely didn’t make him miserable. If anything she calmed his psycho ass down. The man wasn’t miserable because of her(he was just missing the walking corpse he called a brother). That was the most stable time in his life. Which isn’t saying much, but it is what is even if they don’t want to admit that.

You know what he would’ve done if he was actually miserable, wanted Missy Anne, or wanted out of his marriage? He would’ve broken out the good old divorce rock🪨

We are talking about a man who does what he wants with no impunity. He has no qualms about killing family or abusing/murdering his wives.

He could’ve easily killed Laena(especially while she was in labor), but he didn’t do that. He wanted to be with Laena(which is why he married her even though Miss Maegor was begging him to choose her back in episode 5). For all intents and purposes he was content with the means to an end.

Yeah they are all fictional, but these are people are blending real life with fiction cause it’s clear that the main reason why they keep saying this crap is because Laena was made Blackish. These Karen’s refuse to relate to Black(ish) woman on any level so they now are hyping up their titanic ship because Missy Anne is white and blonde.

Real talk, I don’t even think most of them actually care about Missy Anne as a character. She’s just a mascot cause they want to ride Daemon’s dick(no judgements cause Miss Maegor is lame, and Daemon is hot, but they need to be honest about it. I’d never ship something where my fave is being beaten upside her head by her man).

Now Daemon and Laena’s marriage was far far far from perfect in the show. He was not the best husband to her. She definitely deserved better than what he gave her, but they really are trying it when he keeps going Ike Turner on their self insert.

Yes, Laena dies and she’s a minor character, but she does have an impact on the story and on Daemon’s arc. They won’t admit that though because they actively trying to limit her impact.

(See how they keep trying to associate her girls with Daemon as Miss Maegor’s daughters cause the queen of flops gave birth to a lizard instead of a daughter “who looks like” Daemon to replace the half-breeds).

And even though they took away her fire in the show and made her into some poor helpless unloved woman(aka a stereotype), she still made an impact because if she was truly a bump in the road they would’ve stopped talking about her as soon as she offed herself.

The bar is in hell yes, but they need to recognize where they stand.

Honestly this whole discourse is once again pathetic and riddled with Casper the unfriendly ghost sociopaths being butthurt that their ship is pathetic.

They have to use headcanons to prop it up cause the books make it clear Laena was Daemon’s most beloved wife and Valyrian Karen was abandoned for Nettles(let’s not get into that cause she sends the methheads into a rage) while the show has him beating their self insert black and blue.

No one is trying to make this about race, but when you have people calling fictional characters the n-word, comparing them to monkeys, saying it’s okay to cut a Black character because there are too many Black people on the show, saying that it’s a shame Daemon doesn’t have any daughters he can relate to cause the ones he has aren’t white, and saying that it’s a determintal character trait to have Daemon sleep with Black women, well how else are we supposed to view it?

This doesn’t even cover half the demented crap they’ve said and we aren’t even getting into how they start gang stalking you, and trying to gaslight you into believing their lies, when you call them out on the bullshit.

Someone who isn’t racist would say those things. You can dislike a character or characters, but when you base your hate on racism, well congratulations! You’re a racist!

It’s so frustrating dealing with this fandom because any time you point out the obvious misogynoir you become the bad guy, the hater, the bitch, whatever. People only like you when you don’t rock the boat(aka don’t say anything about this because you’re bringing down the vibes), but how are you supposed to turn the other cheek when you see that?

The moment Laena became Black she became worthless to this fandom and the showrunners, to the point where they are only comfortable with her fitting into a stereotype.

Well now we are both ranting so I think we are even 🤣 I do love Daemon, but I love to drag him when he does wrong(I love my girls more than him so he’s in the doghouse. Book!Daemon would be ashamed of show!Daemon). Thank God fanfiction exists(and the books). Can’t wait to read yours. I’ll be updating mines this weekend)���🏽

[lipglossanon]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that it is 100% not your job to monitor what minors are doing online whether you write nsfw content or not. Minors who want to consume nsfw content most definitely are not going to care about a warning and it is 100% on parents to ensure their children don’t have access to that kind of content. I wish tumblr had a better system for blocking minors from viewing that kind of content, but it’s the internet and I feel like people really need a dose of reality when it comes to the internet. I’ve seen some real vile, fucked up works of fiction online and yours are literally just basic taboo with very, very common kinks that are usually only hot in a fictional setting. I understand everyone has boundaries, but some people truly shouldn’t scour the internet if they can’t grasps that someone that’s not committing a crime (or even writing about minors in the first place because can we talk about how common it is for fandoms to write porn between minors or even minors with adults??) should be able to write a work of fiction. I might come off as overly mad about this but as someone who dealt with sexual abuse from a family member as a minor, I find it crazy when someone starts suggesting that engaging with incest fics or even ddlg fics is supporting grooming or pedophilia. Writing should always be a safe outlet of expression and if people find it gross, they do not have to consume that content. If I was you, I would just ignore it all. You’re not at fault for anyone but *you*. Not what your followers say, not what someone doesn’t agree with, not if a minor reads your work. This is your page and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for writing insanely common smut even if you do want to be respectful. You deserve respect as well and I find it disrespectful that people expect u to be mommy to everyone on ur page.

U don’t have to post this either, I just wanted to rant as well because I’m mad that u had to deal with people making u feel bad about small things like a warning and accidentally using the word grooming in the wrong context when u obviously have 0 bad intentions and are always so fucking kind.

Hi anon!

I know you said I didn’t have to post, but I wanted to reply back to you (and this is the only way to do it haha).

I just wanted to say thank you! 💜 💜 It might seem silly but this means a lot to me! 🥹🥹

You seriously made me tear up cause I really do try to be respectful and kind on this platform; it’s the least someone can give to another. We’re all just people ya know?

And looking back at it now after a few days have passed, I’m still confused (since I don’t even know what was being said about me/my blog) as well as disappointed cause I thought I was on friendly terms with these people. I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself before everyone just dropped me like I have the plague lol.

And to be quite honest, I find it kinda hypocritical to unfollow me for a misunderstanding when most of the mutuals I followed at the time wrote equally problematic/dark content (and I’m not even writing underage or grooming to begin with!).

Like it’s one thing for someone to not follow me for their own reasons; it’s another to tell people not to because of X, Y, Z and it not even be in the correct context cause you’re just cherry picking my asks/posts based on my ignorance.

Also, I’m sorry you had to go through that sort of abuse, anon! ❤️‍🩹 thank you for sharing ❤️‍🩹

I’m moving past it! I’ve blocked/unfollowed anyone who I thought might see my content that was involved (just in case). And any hate gets deleted. I’m honestly doing fine! Just get peeved every now and again cause like why be nice to me up until zero hour and then not even discuss it with me? I mean critical thinking skills are a thing ya know? 🤣 it’s giving Kelso (damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather 🤭)

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

i've said before that it is completely out of line to look at a person recounting painful memories of childhood abuse and then bring up their past mistakes and i'm standing by that. i know some of you are going to jump on me for saying "mistakes" but this isn't me trivializing. this is me looking at things in context.

i haven't seen these supposed sources where they say drake bell's victim admitted to lying. i looked at news sources from the time and looked at statements given and haven't seen it anywhere in there that she admitted to lying, which i would assume would be front page news. if anyone wants to direct me to something verifiable that isn't part of a tiktok conspiracy, i would be interested. i have seen that bell wasn't convicted of actually touching the girl and they found no evidence of pictures ever being sent. the internet keeps vaguely saying the girl stalked him before and lied about her age and i don't know how true that is. it's always reprehensible to groom children and there isn't a justification for that. a few years ago i might agree with commentators saying "you don't just not know that someone is 12" but i worked at space camp for the past few years and there were a few times where i was looking for my assigned group and was told that the group that i'd assumed were 17 and 18 year olds (because they were taller than me and more muscular or filled out) were actually 12 and were actually my assigned group. idk what they're putting in the water but i assume it's these damn tiktok beauty standards. and i often have the opposite problem - when i was 16, people would assume i was 13. now that i'm 29, people assume i'm 19-14. i have a friend in her mid20s who is constantly mistaken for a 10 year old boy. it is fucking hard to tell how old someone is and if it's true that she was in his shows which were meant to be 18+ he'd have no reason to know her age. i've seen commentators state he immediately broke off contact when learning about her age.

i want to give benefit of the doubt in this case. i want to believe that the apology given was with complete accountability and remorse. imagining being in his position and realizing he may have contributed to an unsafe situation on par with one he himself experienced may have been a huge wake up call for him. i want to remind everyone though that we are not called on to forgive drake bell. we're not the wronged party in the case. the only one who can give forgiveness is the victim and victims do not owe that.

and with that i feel i should say that i can unfortunately believe that the domestic violence accusations may be true. the timeline seems to match up with the years immediately following what happened with him, the years he'd be more likely to flounder and struggle with the secret he was keeping. who knows what unprocessed trauma he was living with? it doesn't make it okay by any means (and again we are not the ones tasked with "forgiving" him and victims don't even owe that) but it makes a certain sense in context. i do think drake bell needs to come forward and tell people to stop attacking his ex on social media because come the fuck on. just because someone went through something horrific doesn't mean they can't do fucked up shit. i know i've done fucked up shit and i've worked through it as best i can. internet harassment and hate campaigns are not the way, but we didn't learn that lesson with amber heard (who i 100% believe sorry not sorry).

i think we need to move on from this mentality of holding people (particularly child stars) up on pedestals then dragging them down when they do fucked up shit. i have to believe people can change and grow. i'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt so long as a pattern doesn't emerge. we need to move on from thinking that there is a "perfect" victim or that if someone has transgressed in later life that means their victimhood doesn't matter. we can mourn the child that drake bell was. we can mourn the child that amanda bynes was. we can mourn the person that all these people could be if they weren't swallowed by this cesspit. that is a separate conversation from talking about the ways they fucked up after coming out of that environment irreparably damaged.

leave behind the mentality that to show compassion for another human being is the same as "forgiving" them. and move on from the mentality that you personally are the one wronged when these people's lives have nothing to do with you.

[doodlegirl1998]

I think I figure out WHY the "Shig's reveal" and "dabi's reveal" makes me frown. Its bc Hori is shitting on Nana in a subtle way.

And before anyone says "I'm tripping" I can explain my case.

Look when we see the Dabi reveal, it was a result of foreshadow and was meet with importante for the story (😒alledgly as you know Hori...) so it was indeed a big moment. And note how it was Dabi who said who he was.

Now Shig? He is the grandson of Nana Shimura. What we know about Nana? 0. We do know A LOT about Endy, he is present figure in the narrative but...Nana Shimura? NOPE.

It was afo who told am who shig was(when Shig wasnt present) and again, what we know about Nana? What was foreshadow?

Look in my fics I do make the Shimuras be seen as quasi-royalty! But in canon....who fucking knows? No one seems to give a fuck when they died. Only AM cares for Nana's death and at the same time...he is ok in letting bk mock her(yes. Hori but please this is so insidious...bk is mocking the only female user. One who had a sad ending and...is being mocked by Hori's lover)

This should have been Shig's moment. After some development...after foreshadow and we see how the Shimuras were a big deal for the story/society...he reveals who he IS. But nope.

Hori:😍my lovet bk needs screentime.

Sigh

Hi @mikeellee 👋,

I feel like this links back to Hori just not really giving a shit about One For All or any of the holders except for the barest hints of plot.

Similarly, Shig Hori doesn't care all that much for in my opinion which is why we don't see too much in the way of development. Shig and his family should have got more focus, his orgins should have been built up and hinted at till we got given the pay off due to a flashback during the MVA arc. That would have made it much more impactful.

But Hori actually cares for and likes writing Bakugou and Endeavour who have less importance to the story and are his favourite "redeemed" abusers that he likes to glorify.

All this stuff about Endeavor, his backstory, his past - yes it gives him a reason for being the way he is 'obsessed with strength' but is it needed? No. Some people are just egotistical and driven - that's all Endeavor needed to be. This to me reads as Hori trying to excuse Endeav's behaviour to his family by saying "See look he's traumatised! Feel sorry for him!" when

There's no excuse for being a domestic abuser.

There's no excuse for engaging in a quirk marriage.

There's no excuse for beating and neglecting children

Or having children for the sole purpose of fullfuling his goals!

Or for pressuring a spouse to produce children until she gives him Shoto. (Rei literally said "No" to anymore children after Fuyumi and Endeav disregarded her wishes and made her have Natsuo then Shoto... That act literally made Endeav a rapist. So why is this still so up for debate among the fandom and why is Hori intent on redeeming him?!)

Also the translation of this is a bit up for debate so I'm not 100% on this - but if it is actually Enji's Dad who died trying to save a kid, that's some irony there since Endeav was trying to kill himself with Touya a while ago!

As for Bakugou, he has a plot armour on the level of a fucking Gundam. Logically, All Might would be furious at Bakugou disrespecting Nana that way and not just shrug it off. So to see All Might actually shrug off the insults to Nana in canon creates a very weird cognitive dissonance - isn't this someone All Might loves / cares for deeply? Wtf?

TLDR: The Shimuras, Shimura Nana, Shig and the One for All Holders deserved much more screentime, development and build up than they got.

Whereas both Bakugou and Endeav don't deserve all this focus.

[stormz369]

I’d be so fucking pissed at Bruce, what do you mean they would’ve gone out and done it no matter what? You can make plans to trap and defeat aliens and supervillains, but you can’t keep your 10 year old from fighting crime? You don’t protect them from the media, from their abusive teachers or friends, from the world around them as their father, and you don’t protect them from dying and abuse as Batman. Why is a city, a simple location worth the lives and suffering of children? When will you love your children more than you love the idea of something else? When will you actually take steps to stop the cycle of villains and abuse and death? Not to mention they ARE child soldiers. “Wah wah wah but they WANTED to fight!!!” do you seriously think that no child soldiers wanted to fight in battles previously? That they weren’t fed so much propaganda and stories glorifying fighting or came from situations where fighting felt like freedom? You summed it up so much better than I can with the “if the city needs the blood of children, does it deserve to be saved?” Line!!! It’s not even the batkids that Bruce is constantly willing to sacrifice for Gotham or to keep from breaking his stupid rule, it is all the street orphans who will be picked up by any of the rogues as collateral or stress relief or whatever. It’s all the kids used as a punchline for joker, or brought into Two-face/Penguin/Black-Mask’s gangs in order to afford to live, or in the wrong place wrong time from Ivy. All their blood, because batman doesn’t kill but he also doesn’t tell children that they should be protected because otherwise he’d have to acknowledge that he NEVER protected his kids the way he should’ve.

Sorry for constantly sending you rants or ideas for each of your chapters, I’m just really hooked. This was much more than what I was thought of in my previous ask and it’s delicious. I can’t wait for Steph or Dick to try and talk reader out of the self hatred and she’ll just go “I used the power I had over Jason to force him to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. He begged for no needles back in the alley, and I almost immediately went against that the second you all asked that of me. I knew his boundaries for physical touch beforehand and yet still let him touch me in ways I knew he would hate if he was in his present state of mind. He wasn’t ready for this reveal either, and I helped to basically force him into that situation. I made Damian upset, made him think I’m disappointed or didn’t trust him to take care of himself when really I’m just utterly terrified for him and I’m so pissed that all of you looked at a child who was raised to be a soldier and never gave him the permission or ability to be anything else because it fit what you all wanted. I don’t regret my anger towards Bruce, I only wish I was more coherent in it. But nothing you can say will make me stop hating myself for what happened with Jason, and I am fully prepared for neither him nor Damian to ever trust me or want to be around me again now that I’ve proven I’m not actually that safe of a person to be around.” Meanwhile, the two bonded boys are listening in (all of them are, but those two are hiding out of sight, wanting to be with you but scared you’ll hate them) and it just breaks their hearts to hear your assessment of last night and of yourself :((((

Please never apologize for sending these, they give me life! I love, love, LOVE getting to hear your thoughts, especially the rants!

Fun fact; the blood of children line was reworked from a rant I threw at my dad after watching the first season of Umbrella Academy! 😂 I hate Reginald Hargreaves so fricken much....

💯 all of this! Bruce/Batman does not protect anyone, least of all the people who NEED protection most! I don't care how much the children "yearn for the capes" or whatever; I yearned for things I shouldn't have had as a child all day every day!

[paperboy-pb]

The goal of "PAPERBOY" isn't just to dunk on Special Education.

It just isn't.

I've mentioned in other spaces that the accommodations offered by Special Ed can be excellent; alternate ways of testing, extra time on tests, etc. School should never be one-size-fits-all for everyone.

However, Special Ed classes can be very isolating and-- if not run by the right people-- extremely traumatic for disabled youth. And I know this because I lost nearly my entire childhood to it. But when I was that age, no one wanted to acknowledge that.

And I plan on THAT being one of Paperboy's biggest themes; "isolation." Isolation & what it does to the mind of a young child.

Matthew's experience in Special Education is very similar to mine & many others'-- he is constantly left out of peer activity, including games that he would love to play. He's dragged out during other class-time to work on his shortcomings & as time goes by, starts to wonder why it's never good enough. When he asks the adults about it, he gets baby-talk or extreme anger, two opposites that end in questions dodged all the same. He's clearly being thought of as incompetent, and "not worth the time." They don't even teach him what General Eds know as the bare minimum. And to top it all off, other disabled peers see this, think it's okay, and taunt him. They all hold an internalized ableism that bleeds into how they treat to each other. Toxic, yet... it's all he's allowed to have. Because the adults at school value abled comfort over disabled joy.

Yet this is "inclusion," for somebody like him. This is what he 'needs,' what he deserves. But why is inclusion... so EXCLUDING? That doesn't make any sense!

Isolated in a bubble with no friendships, no kindness, no education, and no fun... in what world would a little boy raised in this environment have a safe self-esteem?

In what world is this okay?

And why do so many schools treat their "special little ones" this way?

...

I was a Matthew Boston once. And I imagine that there are many more "Matthews" under different names & conditions out there. Many other disabled kids who were treated as unwanteds in the place they spend the most time. Made to feel like they just didn't matter as much as other kids, like they weren't good enough. And nobody allows us to talk about it.

Because disabled people-- especially kids-- are seen as SO undesirable that anyone who willingly spends time with them is automatically thought of as a saint. So then when caretakers like teachers abuse us, we aren't allowed to talk about it. Because it's "necessary." Because those people are "doing us a favor." Because it's what we deserve for existing how we are.

And that's the real goal here. Just... acknowledging how fucked up that is. And maybe finding ourselves a better ending. No child should ever have to deal with that level of cruelty. And for everybody who did or does, I am so sorry.

So I guess that's why I came up with it; Matthew deserves better than that. WE deserve better than that. Disabled children of the future deserve better than that.

And while I don't think I'll change the world or anything, I think I'd like to at least let people know that.

Because no one ever did that for me.