#like so am i and so are my mutuals but ig i just have gotten very used to our brand of unhinged and it's like.

[hungerpunch]

.

[todayisafridaynight]

Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical

when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (14)

ー☆ Chapter 14: Follow You

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: none ー☆ Word count: 7.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! And the last actual chapter is here (as I still have an epilogue ready for you all), I can't believe we're wrapping up LMLAR and that I have to let go of the characters I have created for this story. I can't lie, I might have become really attached to Mingi in this story because I accidentally portrayed in him my ideal type, but what's new? I somehow always manage to hurt myself when I write with Mingi lol (ig that's the burden I have to carry if I write a story with my bias lol) I will be going on a holiday for possibly two weeks, so that means I won't be able to write nor update for two weeks (which sounds horrible and I'm already dying over it, but I hope I'll manage to find time to still write even if a little). Now, don't worry too much about the epilogue and I ask you to read the note at the end of this chapter attentively! ;) For once, I am asking you all to listen to Follow You after you've finished the chapter and not before or during it! I'm curious if the lyrics will be familiar hehe. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and let me know through feedback <3 divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            Being here with him, doing this with him had no business being so nerve-wracking. This was Mingi, the guy I hated at first—did I?—and then found a friend in and—well, now found something more in him—wanted more from him. But the flutter of my heart and my stomach twisting despite still feeling somewhat calm, reminded me that no matter that I was with Mingi, this was a completely new setting for us. Yes, it was just the two of us going out and about, but at the same time, it was a date. Something we both discussed and agreed upon, leaving our houses with the purpose of going on this date, the two of us. And perhaps it wasn’t even me feeling nervous about going on a date with Mingi per se, but more the fact that I hadn’t done something like this in ages, which made me feel giddy about it. Like a child when they get the present they really wanted on Christmas Eve.

Mingi, like the true gentleman he was, had picked me up once we were both done with our classes for the day, the sun only half an hour away from setting. The sky had been coated in orange and pink hues as Mingi drove us to an unknown location, grinning from ear to ear as he talked about his day to fill the silence since his old Honda’s stereo had stopped working a few days ago. I didn’t mind that, not at all, if that meant I got to listen to his deep voice and excited tone as he told me about his professor asking about Outlaw and whether he was allowed to attend one of Noir Zenith’s performances. It seemed like word had gotten out lately about Mingi’s band, and even more people from our university were interested in watching them play, I feared soon Outlaw wouldn’t be enough to house the fans. The thought made me feel—made me feel proud and happy for him. Mingi deserved this, he was hard-working and diligent, and I wished him nothing but the best.

When I realized that Mingi was driving us to a rather high-end part of the city with tall and fancy buildings, I found myself more nervous about the surprise he had in mind for me. I didn’t exactly want to dine out in a super expensive restaurant—it really wasn’t my thing—but if this is what Mingi prepared for us, I wouldn’t mind. I knew I’d enjoy myself as long as he was by my side. But, thankfully, he veered us away from the main street and drove down a few narrower ones, buildings nestled together and looking cozier than ever. Graffiti and murals covered every second bricked wall, and I watched curiously as Mingi pulled over and parked the car at the side of the road, in front of a black building, smaller than the ones in the area but a lot more modern and fancier looking. It was dark inside and looked unlived in, but I didn’t question him when he just grinned and grabbed a blanket and basket out of the backseat, then grabbed my hand and guided me towards its front door.

He had fumbled with the key for a second and I snickered at him as he flushed, but then we were inside and I watched in awe the high windows, the place vacant of anything. It was dark, now with the sun setting as well, and I noticed that quite a few lightbulbs were still missing, but Mingi grabbed my hand and walked us towards the end of the hallway.

“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” I asked quietly, as if afraid someone would hear us. The place was unfurnished still and Mingi hummed as I noticed light coming from a room whose archway was covered by a black blanket so that you couldn’t see inside. I had paused and looked at Mingi questioningly as he chewed on his bottom lip, then released my hand and yanked the blanket down. My eyes widened at the scenery inside, completely taken aback by the fairy lights strung above and the fort which was built by three stands and a blanket dangled over them. Besides the fairy lights, there was a projector and the white wall was covered in the image of a forest, with a creek slowly flowing through, and the distant sound of birds chirping echoed around the room, it was quiet so as not to disturb any conversation.

My jaw was completely on the floor as I felt my heart race even faster, completely in awe at the view in front of me. I couldn’t believe someone would do something so sweet for me, and as I turned to look at Mingi, for the first time, he looked nervous. He smiled tentatively and I noticed his trembling fingers as he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his tall nose, and then without thinking, I threw myself in his arms, hugging his torso tightly as I gnawed on my bottom lip, embarrassed by the sudden tears in my eyes as I buried my head in his chest. Mingi made a surprised noise in the back of his throat but didn’t hesitate to return the embrace, and I had to gulp multiple times to try and get rid of the lump in my throat. Nobody has ever done something this nice for me. It was thoughtful, there was effort put into it, and I knew Mingi did this all by himself.

“So, based on your reaction, I assume you like this?” He didn’t sound smug or playful, he sounded genuinely curious, and for a second, I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to even think of ruining a relationship with someone this precious.

“I love it, Mingi.” I whispered into his chest, the softener of his clothes carrying a flowery scent that mingled with his cologne that I was familiar with by now. It felt safe, it felt warm, and Mingi was comforting to be around.

“Oh, that’s good.” He heaved a sigh and I finally managed to get rid of the tears as I pulled my head back to look up at him, his cheeks were flushed a deep red, a great contrast against his tanned skin and platinum hair, “I was scared you’d hate it, but Wooyoung told me to trust my gut, so I did.”

I smiled and released him, stepping back to offer him space so that he could proceed with his plans. He beckoned me further inside the warm room, towards the fort as he laid the blanket out on a mattress for us, placing the picnic basket next to it, “If the weather would’ve allowed it, I would’ve loved taking you down to the creek for a little picnic under the warm sun, but autumn and winter suck, so I had to get creative.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything less from you.” I chuckled as I had walked towards him, shrugging off my long coat. Mingi followed suit and I took my time to take in his attire, loose black jeans held onto his narrow hips by a thick belt, a beige sweater tucked in slightly at the front, and a black denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up. His wrists were decorated with beaded bracelets, the rings toned down as he only had three on his left and one on his right hand, three necklaces dangling at different lengths around his neck. His nails were bare today, void of the familiar black tint. And, without meaning to, it seemed like we wore matching outfits for our date. I wore black jeans which was loose at the knees paired with a black off-shoulder long-sleeved blouse and a beige sweater with holes over it. I didn’t want to comment on my observations as Mingi settled on the mattress with a grin, patting the spot next to him, “What’s this place though? Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?”

Mingi chuckled as he opened the basket, pulling out the thermos I had brought the hot chocolate in for him days ago, and then he grabbed two mugs, “I pulled some strings for us to be here, but we’re not trespassing, so don’t worry.”

“Who owns this building?” I asked curiously as I watched Mingi pour hot chocolate into the mugs.

“Well, last I heard Hongjoong bought it, so…” My eyes widened as I had taken the mug from Mingi, curious to know more, “This building will be Seonghwa’s art studio. He wishes to launch a brand soon, and Hongjoong thought it would be best if Seonghwa has his own office, or studio as Hwa likes to call it. I think he wants to turn the front lobby into a smaller art gallery of sorts, you should talk to him and see whether he’s interested in displaying your paintings and drawings.”

I hummed, thrilled at the idea of having my own exposition one day, “I don’t think I have enough creations for him to display just yet, but I will keep it in mind.”

It’s my dream to be a well-known painter all around the world, to have to travel to display my art in various galleries, to have people interpret my works to their liking and imagination, and to be able to spread a message through my work. I love creating and I love sharing my deepest thoughts through whatever I put on a canvas, or in my sketchbook and, perhaps, I love it even more when someone else appreciates it and interprets it through their own lens, through their own experiences.

Being here with Mingi felt warm, it made me forget about every concern I had prior, completely disregarding my nervous state as I now found myself comfortable sitting beside him and sipping on our hot chocolate, snacking from time to time on popcorn and whatever salty snack Mingi had prepared for us. The scenery through the projector never changed, and I found the chirping of the birds and the flow of the water as white noise rather relaxing. If I closed my eyes, I could easily picture myself with Mingi by the creek, the two of us sitting on a blanket in the green grass, the warm sun beaming down on us as we laughed and talked about whatever came to mind. It seemed like time passed by like a slug when in reality, it was flying away way too fast, but neither one of us cared. Wooyoung and Seulgi knew we were on a date—and since this building was Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s, they probably knew we were here too—and I had told my mother earlier today that I was going out with Mingi. There was no point hiding anything from her anymore, and she was beyond excited to hear the news. She had a night shift today, but she promised to pester me at breakfast about every single detail tomorrow, swearing she wouldn’t go to sleep until we had the chance to talk. And when she put her mind to something, I knew she would follow through with it.

Mingi and I had been talking non-stop since the whole fiasco in his studio—through texts, phone calls, or in person—and I found myself craving to be around him more and more. Surprising even myself, I bought pastries just the other day before going to my first class, and knowing Mingi would be in his studio, I surprised him with his favorite pastry before I was off to class, not wanting to bother him anymore. It also didn’t come as much of a surprise when he and Wooyoung sat with me and Seulgi at lunch, Mingi huddled up close to me as he wouldn’t stop nagging me about eating more, giving me half of his portion despite me not being able to stomach it. In the end, he finished both of our lunches, and I couldn’t have been happier. Seulgi and Wooyoung didn’t comment much on our antics, but I knew Seulgi was dying to tease me. I knew I was in for it later in our art class, and I wasn’t wrong.

The tension I felt around Mingi—due to not being completely honest with him—had now completely disappeared and was, instead, replaced with a tingling feeling that made me giggle and flush any time I allowed my thoughts to stray towards him. Towards his tall build, his firm muscles, his deep and raspy voice that covered my skin in chills any time I listened to it, and his sharp eyes that could make anyone weak in the knees unless they were creased due to his wide smile. His long nose and crooked teeth and that wide smile that had my stomach doing weird flips, his throaty giggles and rarely flushed cheeks. His hands, which were always warm in contrast to his chunky silver rings, which, surprisingly, have become comforting whenever they dug into my skin, his thick fingers intertwined with mine. His cologne and scent, which had me craving more of him, his clothes tucked away securely in my closet—and if perhaps one of my hoodies’ started smelling like Mingi, nobody had to know that I would snuggle up in it before falling asleep. His arms, which always brought a wave of comfort with them and made me feel smaller than anyone has managed to make me feel before. His hands and nails which I would stare at and flush whenever Mingi noticed what I had been doing, and ultimately, his platinum blonde hair, a color that I started loving instead of hating so ardently. It suited him, it made him look unfairly handsome, it sharpened his high cheekbones and his well-defined jaw, gave his eyes more depth and sharpness, and yes, I loved the color, but I also missed his naturally black hair. It made him look softer, more like the Mingi he was on the inside, easily fooling others of his true personality.

A personality that was goofy and giddy, yet a personality that felt everything intensely and spoke boldly, expressing himself directly and never expecting anything besides fair treatment and the truth in return. Mingi was a sensitive soul who offered without asking anything back in return, and he was rewarded rightfully by those around him who appreciated and loved him. He was easily lovable and I found it harder each day that passed by to ignore the need to cherish and protect him. I didn’t think coming clean with my feelings would be such a liberating feeling, that it would make everything so much easier to accept, to mull over. I was scared, of course, I still was, but I felt hopeful. I knew Mingi well enough by now to know he’d never pressure me into anything I didn’t want, that he’d never make me feel uncomfortable, and that he’d always take it slow if that’s what I needed.

When our mindless chatter finally subsided, the two of us now laid on our backs, staring up at the moon Mingi had hung up in the fort—it felt serene. I knew we were nearing late evening by now, but I couldn’t find it in myself to actually care, to actually look at my phone to check the time. I didn’t even want to look at my wristwatch to see—I wished to stay in this moment with Mingi for as long as possible. We had eaten almost all the snacks he brought and the hot chocolate had been long gone now, all we did was enjoy each other’s company right now. With a finger fiddling with the holes in my sweater, I reached the pinkie of my other hand out until I could poke at Mingi’s hand. I didn’t look at him, but I could see from my peripheral that his eyes were closed. He hummed when I poked his pinkie again, and then, finally gave in as he hooked our pinkies together, sending my heart into a frenzy as I tried to remind myself that this wasn’t the first time we’d be holding hands—it did nothing to my poor flushed cheeks nor churning stomach, I was horrible at hiding how he made me feel.

“Can I ask you something?” Mingi’s voice was quiet as if not to disturb our peace. He sounded just a little bit hesitant, and I got a feeling of what our next subject would be about. I hummed and listened as he took a deep breath, then asked his question, “Do you hate Yunho?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I glanced at Mingi, his eyes were still closed, except that now he was gnawing on his lower lip nervously instead of looking at ease. I didn’t have to think much about his question, I don’t think I have ever felt such negative feelings against someone before, “No, I could never hate anyone, to be honest. However, I did resent him for a long time.”

“And now?” I could understand his curiosity and the need to know more about whatever was once between Yunho and me. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, I was rather thankful that we could openly discuss it. I know that if it bothered him, Mingi would’ve told me because that’s who he was. We didn’t hold secrets from each other, we spoke directly and honestly.

“I don’t feel anything,” I whispered with a small shrug, finding it weird how impartial I had become to Jeong Yunho. A few months ago I still couldn’t think of him without distaste, let alone talk about him without my stomach dropping and heart clenching. I still didn’t appreciate the way he’s treated me, of course, I didn’t, but I found it easy to let go, to not care anymore at all, “It’s been over five years that we dated, and I’ve been over him for a long time now.”

“But you couldn’t completely let go,” Mingi muttered and I had to gulp, not that surprised that he saw right through me.

“He was my first love, my first in everything so I—” I gulped, wondering whether this was uncomfortable or not for Mingi to discuss, but he intertwined our fingers and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I took a deep breath and slowly continued, “I was attached to him, people always say you’ll forever remember the first person you truly loved, and I think they are right. It’s a bittersweet memory, to be honest, but not something I feel locked down in anymore. Even the resentment I felt towards him now feels so distant like it happened ages ago and not months ago. It feels good and refreshing to have gotten rid of such consuming thoughts and emotions despite never saying it out loud. I hated myself for latching onto that last fraction of emotion I felt towards Yunho, thinking it would make his life as miserable as he made mine but in reality, I was only holding myself back and hurting myself furthermore.”

I turned my head to watch Mingi, to take in his expression, and I was surprised to see him smiling. He was gently rubbing his thumb over my skin, “Yunho’s parents got divorced around the time you two started dating, and his older brother moved to another country in order to pursue the career he’s always wanted, so Yunho had it hard. Between the two of us, he’s always been the stronger person, the brighter mind with never-ending hope, cheering me on and encouraging me to never back down if I had goals to reach. Even when I knew he was suffering due to his family’s situation, he wouldn’t let me comfort him, wouldn’t let me be his shoulder to cry on. He had a huge ego back then, refusing to show the cracks or admit that he was doing worse than ever, and I think he was abusing every relationship he had back at that time. He needed validation and love, he felt worthless and used after his parents didn’t even warn him of their split up, just showed him the documents and made him choose who he’d want to continue living with.

“His parents were good people but they handled some things in a shitty way, and it showed because Yunho lost himself in alcohol and meaningless relationships for a while. I’m not calling your relationship meaningless, because as much as I can remember, you were the only one who was able to tie him down for a longer period of time back then. It’s not you who wasn’t enough for Yunho, it’s him who wasn’t ready to commit and love others the right way. I warned him often to stop whatever he was doing, but he was addicted to the feeling and even hurt me in the process. I’m in no way invalidating your feelings and whatever you have gone through, I just hope you can forgive Yunho’s foolishness one day. He was just a kid trying to navigate his life as he lost his path for a short amount of time. I can guarantee he’s changed now, he’s better than he’s ever been before and he regrets everything he’s done. If you feel like it, I’m sure he would even reach out to you to apologize.”

Mingi’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he turned his face, and his eyes widened when he realized I had been looking at him the whole time, “I probably would’ve killed for this information back in highschool, it would’ve made things a lot less complicated for me if he was just honest and explained things before he left me. It wasn’t always easy growing up without a father, and despite never caring much about what others said, Yunho made me feel unworthy and undesirable and perhaps it’s that which hurt more and not even the fact that he left me. I knew relationships didn’t always last, but I didn’t expect him to be such a huge asshole.”

Mingi snickered and bit his lower lip as I rolled my eyes, trying to restrain the giggle that threatened to bubble through, “Yunho would be digging his own grave right now if he were to hear us, too embarrassed and ashamed of himself to even apologize.”

“Serves him right.” I couldn’t help but laugh and Mingi did the same, looking content and not bothered by the nature of our conversation. After all, it was him who was curious about it and I had nothing to hide from him anymore, “What about you? Any past girlfriends I have to look out for?”

My tone was teasing and Mingi instantly flushed, turning his head away as if that would’ve hidden it. His glasses were placed between us and he cleared his throat as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Well, I wasn’t a heartthrob like my lovely best friend, so I didn’t date many girls.”

I raised my eyebrows, prompting Mingi to continue speaking as he sighed, “I dated a girl back in highschool for a few months, but I don’t know. She was nagging and I didn’t like the way she berated me whenever things didn’t go her way, so I broke up quickly with her. After that, I just wasn’t in the mood to date anyone. I was content with watching anime and reading my mangas and hanging out with Yunho.”

I grinned and pushed up onto my elbows, wiggling my eyebrows at Mingi when he quickly averted his eyes, “And in university? Come on, don’t be shy now, where’s the cocky and annoying Mingi I despised?”

“You were into it, don’t lie.” Mingi chuckled as I scoffed, but I couldn’t find myself to correct him. Maybe I was into it, but he didn’t have to know, his ego was big enough already. After a longer pause and a squeeze of his hand, he gave in and groaned, “Yeah, fine, I dated casually a few people but wasn’t into any of them much. I feel like nobody has ever seen past my looks or the fact that I have a band and sing, so I didn’t feel like being with someone who only wanted me for my looks and for the far-fetched idea that I’d become famous one day, subsequently making them famous too so that they could parade around saying their boyfriend is a rockstar.”

“It’s not a far-fetched idea, Mingi.” I muttered and he looked up at me again, looking hopeful, “It’s good to know, though, that I won’t have to fight any jealous exes in the near future.”

“It’s rather the exes I’d be worried about,” He snickered, and as I narrowed my eyes, a cheeky smile was back on his lips, “you are the jealous type, not them—”

“Now that’s simply not true.” I huffed and fell back, glaring up at the new moon Mingi had hung up in the fort, “I’m not the jealous type.”

“Are you not?” His voice dripped with tease and I rolled my eyes, “Because I’m pretty sure you don’t like Mina—”

“Who’s Mina?” I interrupted, eyebrows furrowing as I cast a glance his way.

“The blonde girl, my fan.” I gulped, suddenly feeling an unexplainable drop in my stomach and a scowl on my face as I turned my head further away so that Mingi couldn’t see it. Yeah, I simply couldn’t stand her. Mingi started laughing loudly and I huffed as I retracted my hand from his, crossing my arms in front of my chest. It only made him laugh harder, and soon I found myself grinning, his deep laugh infectious.

“I’m not jealous of her, though.” I tried to defend myself but it fell on deaf ears as Mingi continued snickering.

“I don’t mind.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Mingi chuckled at my scoff and then it was silent again as I felt my heart rate settle, Mingi’s breaths stable and loud in the fort. The sounds of nature alongside the projection of the creek would be able to lull me to sleep, but Mingi spoke up again before that could happen, “Remember when we were in the library all those months ago and I flipped through your sketchbook without permission?”

I hummed and gave him a pointed stare, making Mingi smile at me sheepishly, “Well, sorry about that, first of all, and secondly, there was a drawing of eyes which was scribbled over. That’s when you said those were Yunho’s but I’m pretty sure I can recognize my own eyes, doll—”

“Are you claiming again that I was drawing your eyes?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingi pursed his lips as he nodded, “I feel like we’ve had this discussion a million times before, Mings.”

Mingi chuckled and then shrugged, playing with the beads of his bracelet, “Yeah, but hearing you confirm it again would be nice.”

I sighed but gave in nonetheless, I would adhere to his wishes only today, “Yes, Mingi, my sketchbook is full of your eyes, of your face, of your body, of you performing on stage, of you sitting in your car—of you.”

I didn’t expect to see his face, even his ears, turn red in a second, eyes widening as his mouth fell open. For once I felt like I had the upper hand, that it finally wasn’t him making me feel flustered, and I smirked, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. Mingi cleared his throat and patted at his cheeks, clearing his throat again as he opened his mouth to speak, stuttering a bit before a sound actually came out, “Well, I—uh, I wasn’t expecting such honesty. Thank you? I mean, that’s really cool, thank you. I knew you were obsessed with me since the second you saw me.”

And that’s why I mostly kept to myself about stuff like this, I knew it would get to his head, “No, I couldn’t stand you the second I saw you. Then you turned out not to be such an idiot and too annoying, thankfully.”

Mingi chuckled and intertwined his hands as he placed them behind his head, kicking his legs out, “Well, I actually knew you before meeting you at Outlaw. Wooyoung told me about Seulgi, and then the next day he pointed her out in the hallway and you were there with her. And, uh, yeah.”

It was my turn to tease him as I turned my head and grinned at him, “Did little Mingi have a crush on me before he even got to know me?”

I shouldn’t have felt so pleased by his sudden flush or the way he avoided eye contact, “Yeah, I did.”

And apparently, I was worth sticking around for so long, pushing to get through to me, to make me realize opening up to another person wasn’t such an awful thing, to make me realize liking someone else wasn’t the end of the world, and that I very much wanted to be loved and that I also wanted to love another. The silence that dragged on wasn’t awkward, but I felt Mingi tense the more I didn’t say anything, and as he looked at me with eyes that held light fear in them, I smiled. And then, I was turning onto my side and leaning over to kiss him. As always, his plush lips were soft and warm, welcoming and eager as I pressed a chaste kiss against them, trying not to smile but I failed miserably as Mingi sighed quietly. I pulled back as my intention wasn’t to turn this into anything deeper, but Mingi chased after my lips, our noses bumping together as I cupped his cheek with my hand, my hair falling around us as our lips pressed a little firmer against each other.

It was slow, neither one of us desperate or trying to prove anything as we got lost in the feel of the other, of the other’s warmth and taste—which was a mix of salted caramel popcorn and hot chocolate, Mingi’s cologne making my head dizzy as our lips slotted perfectly together, moving languidly against each other. My hand slipped to hold his jaw and he freed a hand from under his head as he held onto the back of my head, sucking my lip between his teeth without bruising them or nipping at them. I hummed against his lips and pressed another swift kiss against them before pulling away, my face hovering above his as I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet, basking in the feeling kissing Mingi brought with itself. Our noses bumped together again and I smiled as Mingi giggled, no doubt enjoying the proximity.

“So,” His voice was quiet and when I opened my eyes, I was met with an unexpected flush to his cheeks, that subsequently made me blush as well, “what are we now?”

“What should we be?” I asked, my tone warm as I bit my lower lip to contain my smile.

“What do you want us to be?”

“A couple?”

It felt like time stopped as I muttered those words, feeling nervous and scared, but so ready to offer everything I had to Mingi, to make him happy, to make him feel loved and appreciated. I never wanted to see him hurt, especially not because of me. I had seen Mingi’s smile before plenty of times, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the way his eyes disappeared and nose scrunched up, all teeth on display as he smiled up at me, making my heart flutter as I just realized something. I loved him, I loved this man lying underneath me and nothing would stop me from cherishing him like he deserved to be.

“Yeah, I want us to be a couple.” He spoke as he didn’t stop smiling, and I tried to keep mine in check.

“But we have to go on more dates, at least three more, to get to know each other better.” My eyebrows slightly furrowed and Mingi smoothed them out with his fingers tenderly.

“Of course, we’ll take it at your pace, I have nothing to rush for.” I felt grateful as Mingi winked and I pressed a swift kiss before I buried my head in his neck, letting him pull me closer to his body as I cuddled up against his side, “Can I tell Wooyoung at least”

“You think I won’t tell Seulgi?”

And we giggled together as Mingi pressed a kiss against my head, humming in contentment as our fingers intertwined, resting upon his beating heart. I’ve never felt more like I belonged than at this exact moment. Not even with my art.

            By the time Mingi drove me home, it was well into the evening, the dark streets illuminated by the lampposts, some having burned down as Mingi turned onto my street. We didn’t feel the need to discuss much on our way back, our date was successful and filled with laughter and deep conversations that only confirmed my suspicions of Mingi. He was a good guy, too good to be true at times, but I was more than grateful that he was by my side.

His old black Honda Prelude came to a slow stop in front of my house and I unbuckled my seatbelt as Mingi turned his head and smiled, placing the car in neutral as he pulled the handbrake up. I turned and looked at him, our smiles almost shy as if we weren’t ready to say goodbye just yet, acting as if we wouldn’t see each other tomorrow. I agreed to let him pick me up for a breakfast date as we both only had classes starting at noon. If my heart fluttered and lungs convulsed at the thought of having Mingi pick me up tomorrow for a breakfast date, I would only admit it to my mother as now I had to explain why I wouldn’t have breakfast with her in the morning. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, too excited to actually get the amount of sleep that was healthy. Perhaps I would even paint some more, for once, I wasn’t behind on assignments, but I felt the itch under my skin to create something new.

“Well,” I cleared my throat once the silence got too much, “I loved spending my time with you, Mingi, thank you for taking me out.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He looked away abashed, but only for a second as he gave me a cheeky look, “I bet it’ll be hard to overdo my efforts now.”

“You wish.” I chuckled and grabbed my backpack from between my legs, “Don’t forget, I might be artsier than you are, love.”

It was certainly surprising to see Mingi’s face flush, ears included. If I remember correctly, Yunho’s ears always flushed before his face could if he was flustered, flattered, or embarrassed, and now I couldn’t help but find it endearing that the two best friends had similar mannerisms, “Uh—yeah, I—love?!”

I giggled and bit my lower lip, leaning over the center console with a cheeky grin, “Well, did you expect me not to call you nicknames? You call me doll, it’s only fair I return the favor—”

“But love?!” Mingi exclaimed, slightly confusing me as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, “I—I think I’m unwell.”

“What?” My eyebrows furrowed, suddenly concerned, “Why?”

“My stomach won’t stop flipping around and because I’m losing my mind?” Upon Mingi’s helpless expression and whine, my eyes widened and I fell back into my seat, not quite laughing as I couldn’t help but gape at him.

“Do I fluster you—”

“Very much so!” Mingi exclaimed as he hid behind his hands again and I might have malfunctioned for a second as I’d never seen him acting like this. Did he have a fever? Did a simple nickname turn him into a whiney kid?

“Well, it’s payback time for all the times you made me suffer, love.” Mingi looked like he was about to combust and I couldn’t help but cackle as I blew him a kiss before grabbing the handle to open the car’s door. But before I could step out, Mingi shot forward and opened the glove box.

“Wait!” He said hurriedly and I froze, looking at him curiously. He grabbed a black notebook and handed it to me, eyes boring into mine despite his still red ears, “Flip through it once you’re settled down, please.”

I smiled and nodded, feeling curious as I took it from him, and certainly blushed an ugly shade of red when he pressed a quick kiss against my cheek, making me stumble for a second as I got out of his car. It was his time to feel triumphant for making me feel flustered, and I couldn’t help but flip him off as his amused laughter was audible through the closed doors and rolled-up windows. He winked and waved cheekily before putting the car in first gear and motioning for me to head inside. Feeling giddy and curious, I waved before turning my back to walk to the front door as nonchalantly as possible, fishing my keys out of my pocket. Once I was inside, Mingi drove off and I slammed the front door shut, locking it quickly as I had half a mind slipping out of my boots and throwing my jacket onto the floor absentmindedly as I raced up to my room, not bothering to turn on the lights. I might have bumped into the edge of the railing and the edge of my door as I turned on the bedside table lamp, dropping everything on the floor except the notebook as I plopped down onto the bed.

My heart was racing as I got comfortable, almost forgetting my phone was in my back pocket and would be crushed if I sat on it, so I retrieved it and placed it on the bed next to me. My fingers trembled lightly and I licked my lips as I flipped the notebook open, surprised to find Mingi’s name written prettily on the first page with doddles decorating the rest of the blank page, all kinds of little animals and shapes signed by his friend’s names, no doubt them having drawn those in here. Too curious about the contents of the notebook, I started slowly flipping through the pages, eyes skimming over all the words and musical notes, Mingi’s handwriting was pretty despite it being rushed at times—most of the time.

Then, I flipped to a page that had my name only on it with a small heart next to it. My heart was suddenly in my throat as I took a shaky breath, flipping to another page, eyes slowly taking in all the words.

‘And the world is cold/But it's beautiful/I wish you were here now’, I could imagine Mingi’s soft tone singing these in a whisper before the beat picked up. ‘It's your magnetic hold/A gravity pull/I can feel you in waves/When your melody comes/It falls from above/I will not be afraid’, I gulped, eyebrows furrowing as I slowly traced over the words, Mingi’s pen having made an indent in the paper when he scribbled them down. Eager to read more, I looked further down, drinking in what I now realized to be lyrics, ‘So lost/Coming from me when I'm lost/You kiss my neck and then you're gone/Turn me off and turn me on oh/Eat up every word you say/My perception dilates’. I bit my bottom lip, heart racing just a little faster as I realized Mingi offered me a glance inside his mind, inside his feelings and how he’s viewed me and our relationship over the months, ‘Want you to waste my time/Mess with my mind/Fly me to the other side/Don't say goodbye to reds in my eyes/Love me enough to hate me/Waste my time, waste my time/Waste my time, waste my time’.

I gulped, suddenly feeling guilty for having tormented Mingi for so long, for having made him feel like I was playing with his feelings, ‘Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark/Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark’. I chuckled, imagining Mingi hunched over his desk with a frown on his lips as he jotted the lyrics down, then smirked in triumph at the fantasy of finally having my heart in his hands—and I think he’s rather close to achieving that now, ‘Chit chat, do you want that/Or wanna take me home tonight?/All this chit chat is holding me back/And I'm breaking just to bend your light/I thought I told you, I really need your sugar/A rollercoaster, I'm going supernova/Chit chat is holding me back/To you, you’. I tried to refrain from grinning too hard at the lyrics. Going back home with Mingi wasn’t a repulsive thought anymore as it would have been a month ago. No, now I would rather go home with him. I wanted to be around him, I wanted him.

‘Oh, my oh, my oh my/Why's it every night/I'm feeling so sleepless?/Oh, why oh, why oh why?/I'm losing my mind/Maybe you're the reason’, I couldn’t help but gulp at the thought of Mingi not being able to sleep, bothered by thoughts of me, ‘Started as friends, but less than lovers/It's all making sense/On days, I'm thinking about us/Yeah, I know I'm so selfish/Hate the thought of someone else/Making you laugh, smiling, happy, if it ain't me or myself’. I gulped, feeling like Mingi got a glimpse inside my head too, making me remember how quickly and easily my jealousy previously flared whenever I saw him talking to the blonde girl. ‘I was more than just a body in your passenger seat/And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet/I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me’, my breath faltered for a second as I quickly read over the lyrics again, wondering just how obvious it was to everyone else but myself that I was into Mingi, that he was into me.

‘I, I, I never thought I'd find true love/I, I guess I wasn't looking hard enough/If my heart stops now, you're the one thing that made it all worth it/If the sky falls down, right now, you're the one that I'll worship’, the words had no reason getting to me, yet I couldn’t help but flush hard as I blinked my eyes and rubbed at them, trying to cool off for a second, but I was too curious of what more was in the notebook, ‘Well, I heard you whisper/To all your friends/I heard you telling them that/You need a man in whom you can depend’. I chuckled, feeling amused but completely in awe of Mingi’s lyrics, his words somehow making complete sense and almost like a challenge to admit he was right about me, ‘Well I'd be the gasoline/To keep you alive/And I'd be the cold, so unbreakable/We'd burn together straight through the night/That's alright’. And now I had no doubts that Mingi would do anything for me, but what he didn’t know just yet, was that I would be his ride and die from now on.

‘Oh, and my love/Did I mistake you for a sign from God?/Or are you really here to cut me off?/Or maybe just to turn me on’, and perhaps if breathing became harder, it would be obvious to anyone as I tried to regulate my breaths and ignore the flush over my body, ‘'Cause these days/I would be lying if I told you that/I didn't wish that I could be your man/Or maybe make a good girl bad’. I gulped and sat up straighter, flipping another page hurriedly to read more of the song’s lyrics, easily imagining Mingi up on stage, raspy and smooth voice blending into the microphone and making the hairs on my arms stand as we made eye contact, his gaze intense and sharp, challenging in a way that would get me all bothered and hot, ‘I've got a river running right into you/I've got a blood trail, red in the blue/Something you say or something you do/The taste of the divine’. And I honestly to God hoped to see them perform this song one day, curious of what the band would sound like together, of Mingi’s voice and his eyes, ‘You've got my body, flesh and bone/The sky above, the Earth below/Nothing to say and nowhere to go/A taste of the divine’. I was ready to turn another page when my phone dinged loudly, making me flinch in surprise as I was completely immersed in Mingi’s lyrics.

Mings 🖤: home i hope you enjoy whatever you find in there some are spicy lol

Without thinking much, I pressed the dial button next to his name and raised the phone to my ear, my heart beating out of my chest. It barely rang twice before Mingi’s deep voice greeted me through the phone and I gulped, mouth working faster than my brain, “Mingi.”

“Yes, doll?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

The deafening silence was filled with the loud thumps of my heart that only I could hear, and I was sure my pulse was way too high, but I couldn’t care less as I listened carefully to hear Mingi’s reaction. His gasp was loud as I licked my lips, eyes boring into the notebook again, “I read it, your lyrics.”

More silence, until there was a deep breath and Mingi’s raspy voice made me sink in on myself, goosebumps covering my whole body, “Good, because I think I’m already in love with you.”

I huffed out a breath, my smile was huge as Mingi’s chuckle that followed sounded breathless but somehow as if he was at ease. I couldn’t help but fall back on my bed, holding onto the phone tightly as I pushed the notebook to the side, eyes falling on my sketchbook, “I’ll send you something, listen to it now.”

“Alright, thank you.” Mingi hummed and then hung up, making my heartbeat quicken once again as I watched the dots in our chat move, and then a voice file was sent, with a message attached to listen to it with headphones. I quickly turned onto my stomach to reach for my nightstand, grabbing the headphones and connecting it to my phone as I placed it on my head, biting my lower lip as a familiar melody, lyrics, and voice traveled through the headphones, covering my skin in goosebumps.

『'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I promise you, you're all I see

'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I'll never leave

So, you can drag me through hell

If it meant I could hold your hand

I will follow you, 'cause I'm under your spell

And you can throw me to the flames

I will follow you, I will follow you』

❱❱ Epilogue

A/N: Can y'all imagine this was supposed to be the last chapter?? lol, back in December when I wrote the whole plot this is how I tied everything up BUT THEN, maybe around two months ago I was tbh just gushing to my bestie about Mingi and some other things, and I realized, wait a minute-I can totally write this for LMLAR?! And so, that's how the epilogue came into existence, which I'm grateful for because I feel like it ends the story on a good note *cries*, would you like me to post the epilogue this week on Friday or next week on Wednesday? majority wins lol

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[bambieyedoll]

i saw ur bella hc on my feed and i am instantly obsessed, faster than the speed of light ‼️🥹 can i request an hc where its a looking from afar sort of thing? like bella is rlly known now but also musician reader 🤭 like would they fangirl ab each other on public or privately? would they meet?AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😫

hi, baby ! aw, that’s so sweet. thank you so much for that, it means a lot to me. here it is, i hope you like it, love. ♡

bella would be obsessed the moment they hear your voice on the radio while driving home from work. would quickly download your album that same night feeling intrigued by you.

in a couple of days, they already watched every interview and stalked your social media.

the way you expressed, both through your art, your songs, and in interviews, made them wish they could talk to you, desire holding a conversation with you.

you were just mesmerizing to bella.

would listen to your songs every day without fail. it relaxed them whenever they were feeling tired or overwhelmed because of their work.

the effect you had on them was something else.

you’d have them fangirling in secret whenever you posted on instagram or released a new song.

bella would keep you for themselves. just gatekeeping you, holding onto the feeling of you being a treasure they had found and only they knew.

you knew them and admired their work dearly too.

bella’s work on the series the last of us was just breathtaking. you found yourself every sunday sitting on your sofa with a snack watching new episodes.

you stalked bella’s instagram too.

your curiosity about them as a person grew and you loved watching their interviews. adored listening to their opinions and point of view about the series.

you wouldn’t dare to follow them on instagram tho.

your shy nature wouldn’t let you. however, you did posted your tv screen with the tlou intro one sunday.

when bella watched your story using their secret acc, they went nuts. they would let out a little squeak and giggles. the happiness was so real.

would go all shy afterwards. knowing you watched their work and not only that, you’ve been watching them every sunday.

the day you finally followed them, bella would be on could nine. immediately following you back, to your surprise and delight.

two little cuties staring at their phones in their respective houses. totally oblivious to the admiration and the (massive) crush you had on each other.

bella would think about texting you a hundred times after you officially became mutuals on ig.

wouldn’t do it due to their shyness and nervousness.

honestly, bella would open your dm’s, write something, read it five times, then delete it and exit the app. just overthinking the whole thing.

you, on the other hand, would feel courageous after following them and getting a follow back. so one day, you deep breathed and wrote to them first.

just imagine the moment bella woke up one day and saw your message on their dm’s.

they would double blink just to make sure they were awake and it wasn’t a dream.

from that day on, bella and you would text though instagram and share your mutual admiration.

bella would flag your chat to make sure your was the first one they’d see.

would get to know each other more and more in just a couple of days then they would officially ask for your number with some cute excuse like wanting you to be able to call them if you needed anything.

bella wouldn’t get over the excitement of having gotten your number.

would add your contact with a lovely heart after your name and then smile to themselves at how pretty it looked.

talking to each other would became a daily need.

your day wouldn’t be complete without your “good morning” and “sweet dreams”.

they’d give you smooth little compliments every here and there, making you blush through the phone.

you would also start to videocall. making it even more personal but also difficult to hide the effect you had on each other.

the first videocall was a mix of adorable pink painting both your cheeks, nervous giggles and glowing eyes glancing at each other.

for real, they wouldn’t be able to focus being well aware that your soft gaze was directed at them through the screen of their phone.

sometimes, you would sing to them obeying their adorable demand.

the song was up to their choice but when they said you could sing what you choose you opted for a verse of “glue song” and that made their heart go crazy.

bella’s crush on you would grow to the point they started to think about you even more constantly.

asking you on a date would be on their mind 24/7.

the day they finally asked you out (after planning it on detail) it was though a video call you both had before going to sleep.

it was something you started doing, finding comfort in your conversations that sometimes lasted until late night before wishing each other sweet dreams.

you immediately would say yes while nodding slightly with the purest smile just for them.

bella would let out a happy “yes!” in celebration after you ended the call and went to sleep feeling like the most fortunate person alive.

[thlayli-ra]

Top 5-6 WWE wrestling blogs you would recommend and why (optional)?

Thank you Anon for the brilliant question!

I'm not sure if any of these are strictly WWE, but I'm using this as an excuse to highlight some of my favourite creators here on Tumblr. I'm going for ones I haven't mentioned previously so please check out my previous posts here and here for some amazing writers, artists and mutuals that I love dearly!

1) @princedevitt - Whenever I watch a match (usually an LA Knight one) and he does a facial expression that's really cute or writhes beautifully on the floor or drops the bottom of his balls out on live tv, I say to myself 'I really hope princedevitt has made a gif of that.' And more often than not, he has! He's also a fellow appreciator of Knight's slutty trunks (and appears to be on a mission to murder me with his Nexus/Sideburn Punk gifs!!!)

2) @taydaq - Just the most beautiful ship art I've ever seen. I'm not even an ambreigns or hartbreak girlie but my gooodddd I could easily jump on board the way they draw them. Then there was the Punkintyre piece they did for me as part of an art swap and... *incoherent screaming*

3) @tvheit - Another incredible artist. Such beautiful, colourful, stunning art that I could stare at for days on end (and sometimes do...). I have not forgotten that I owe you a piece for our art trade - it's on my to-do list!

4) @fantasticalleigh - Where I get my regular Punkintyre fanart fix! Gorgeous! Just gorgeous! Their latest 'Broken Man' series is just MWAH!

5) @codypunk - Beautiful art. The kind that makes me re-think my entire style. The way they draw hair (especially Punk's hair) makes me foam at the mouth a little. OK, a lot!!!!

6) - @werkingstiffx - I am just... in awe of them! They don't post often but every time they do, whether it's artwork or a fancam it's just earth-shattering, mind-altering, brain-melting-in-my-skull-and-oozing-out-of-my-nose-and-ears good!

7) @ekmsoldier - Speaking of artists who are other-worldly and make me want to throw my ipencil across the room and give up drawing forever because I will just never ever make anything as beautiful. Took me a while to realise but I used to follow this artist on IG way back when. I've always adored their Finn Balor/Demon King art and it's only gotten better with time. Like, seriously, transcending universes better!!!

8) @normallypassingby - Every so often, this kinda 'dump' of Punkintyre artwork appears on the tags and I'm always mesmerised by it. I adore this artist's anime style and sometimes have to catch my breath at their work!

9) @redhotchilimouse - It's not fair! It's just not fair how achingly beautiful your artwork is! The soft tones, feathery linework and... you just... you draw men in trunks so damn well!!!

I should think of a 10) but I'm tired and my brain won't work anymore. I have missed soooooo many other incredible talents on here so I'm sorry if I didn't tag you this time - I'm be sure to rectify my mistake the next time!

[saltynsassy31]

Honestly, despite this post being mainly about dbh, it's sorta of a general thing

But gosh, what's with the ship wars? I mean, every fandom has this problem (sorta, the only fandom I've rarely, if ever, experienced it was the splatoon fandom cuz even the most unfortunate ships are shipped lmao)

I be scrolling, tryna find like, just general content, and someone be fighting over it

And I feel its gotten worse as of late cuz it's gotten involved with familial stuff

I'm a big found family gal

It's why, when I first played Detroit, Kara's story line was my favourite at the time (as of coming back to the game, it's become Hank and Connor, but I blame my Iron dad phase for that lmao)

But I'm not gonna fight people who see it or interpreted their relationship differently. If it wasn't stated in canon, then it leaves the gate way open to any interpretation because that's the fun part of being in a fandom! Different points of view!

And I especially come from the POV of someone who shipped two characters the fandom viewed more as siblings. By the gods, the hate some people had.

I was never at the tail end of that heat, but my mutuals from a server were, and when I jumped in to defend them

Despite coming out victorious (in a sense lol), I wouldn't say it was worth the effort, waisted my breath on petty fighting and I don't wish to again

But on the other hand

I've also been on the other end where I saw two very popular shipped characters as familiar/just friends. It's weird cuz they were/are more popular to the (technically) canon couple and they very rarely, if ever interact (legit got gaslit by the fandom that they did, until I went to look into it and found a desert of canon interactions).

And it's frustrating.

I really wish people wouldn't fight over these petty things. But it's the Internet, what can ya do? I'll just do what I can to avoid this in-fighting, not my monkeys, not my circus ig.

Still though, sometimes it feels like shipping/seeing them as just family really just, leaves out nuance. I like seeing both ends because it's interesting! You don't have to, of course, but discrediting either ends is so boring. Especially in the case of DBH where there are so many endings (total of 85 people!), so many characters, so many possibilities. Being stuck on one interpretation feels redundant to the game.

Now, am I saying to not enjoy your favourite parts of the game? No! I'm not here to judge you! Create that blog about solely the ship or solely familial content! It's your blog! :D

Feel free to block out content you don't like, curate your space.

Just don't....discredit others for their own interpretation. Be kind, or at least tolerable.

Idk where I'm going with this post anymore. I'm Ms. Yapper and this is my yapping page, thats all I do here at this point XD.

Just be kind and enjoy your stuff! Quit fighting! (But don't confuse that with me saying don't have discourse or debates, those are fun too, talking and defending your POV, that's part of fandoms too, just don't attack one another unnecessarily)

[running-tweezers]

I think I’ve finally really figured out the way my past tumblr/fandom related trauma affects the way I interact with fandom now. I’ve never really had words for it, but I’ve been doing some soul digging and I think I’ve gotten to the bottom of it. Which is a net positive I think.

It sounds ABSURD when you say it out loud/write it down plain like this. But hear me out. There’s a reason.

I somehow operate under the assumption that everyone here automatically dislikes me. As a default state. If someone likes/reblogs something I post, especially if they are someone whose fandom creations I admire, I almost see that as them going “hm. Ok you get a pass with this one, even tho normally you suck so much.” The person could Literally Be My Mutual and I still think this.

ALSO, I am OBVIOUSLY being constantly surveilled by some kind of strange panopticon of fandom, and everyone is seeing everything I do and everything I post and just WAITING for me to do something Incorrect and Bad. Just waiting for me to Do Fandom Wrong (as if that’s a thing) so they can jump on me and start getting everyone to send me so much hate I have to leave tumblr and this thing I love is ruined. As if “he wouldn’t fucking say that” is some kind of death sentence.

And I am well aware of how ridiculous that sounds, but you have to understand. That is the EXACT scenario that was constantly held over my head by a certain “popular” “big name fan” of a previous fandom I was in. I got weirdly entangled with him, and he was manipulative, creepy, and downright abusive. That’s the exact sort of thing he would very subtly imply and threaten if I didn’t agree with him on everything. (And it turned out he was actually anonymously sending death and rape threats to people who he perceived as “wrong” so. It wasn’t just talk ig)

Idk, I feel like I’m finally figuring out WHY certain things are triggering to me. For example, those ‘popularity’ type posts. That weird traumatized part of my brain saw those and said “wake up babe, new list of people to be scared of just dropped.” Now maybe I can at least try to better metaphorically whack that bit of my brain with a rolled up newspaper and say “NO. STOP IT. THATS NOT A NORMAL WAY TO THINK.”

Anyway, I’m looking to get back into therapy, can y’all tell? lol

[fraudulent-cheese]

So i watched episodes 3 to 8 of Pahkitew Island

Again, watched these with my buddy @rockin-it-rusty! And, holy shit these episodes have got me genuinly wondering why Pahkitew's so hated.

I'll go over the negatives first; the challenges are kinda eh. The Truth or Scare one is great, and the cave one is interesting due to it's hints at the Fake Island reveal (as heavy handed as they were), but most of these were just pretty out there to me? They mostly felt like an excuse to put the characters in situations mostly. Just have Topher make a narration joke, give Max and Scarlett an interaction, have Sky and Dave dance around eachother all due to a thing the challenge made them do. I don't mind the first two much, but the last one gets super repetitive man. Glad they mixed it up a bit by making Shawn try to wingman Dave though, i like their friendship! im a bigger dashawn shipper now oops

ANYWAYS IMA TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOW BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE CHARACTERS CARRY THE SHOW!

Amy... Ok im very mixed on her. On one hand, she serves her role as the mean twin relatively well. But on the other, that's all she really is! Her one trait is being mean and hating her sister, and that's all she really does! Granted she has a thing? Where she gets sayings (?) wrong, or just gets words wrong (she says parfait is german. it's french. i would know) which! could hint at something! (maybe less smart than her sister?) but they don't do shit with her outside of her swimming back to the island in episode 5. god i wanna rewrite this season so badly now to give her a bigger role. idk shoutouts to Twinning with a Twist for redeeming her while still giving her some edge ig.

Rodney. i uh

I haven't thought about him since his elimination honestly. I just doooooon't care about him it's crazy. Most forgettable guy in the entire series.

Sammy! Ok back to the siblings rambles! I wish the show leaned into her scheming more. Girl in five episodes pulled identity theft and did nothing else. Why. Her relationship with Jasmine is adorable, and i wish she got Jasmine to call her by her actual name, and a personality too! It's really a shame man :(

Sidenote, but like her team fucking hated her for some reason??? Like what. I know it's because of that one scene, but really?

Ella!! My sweet girl Ella!!! She didn't do anything wrong man she just likes singing leave her alone!!! Chris really fucking hates her and it's pretty entertaining at least, but i'd say his beef with Topher's funnier. She has a nice singing voice, and i love how passionate she is about fairytales and stuff. You could do so much with the Prince thing and the show... didn't. Like what even was that. Conflict that wasn't one that lasts an episode. what

Gotta say though, her elimination was fucking ass, Max 100% should've been kicked instead of her.

Topher. Ah the opher. He's a special case, even in the context of Pahkitew Island itself! Because the dude's not here for the game. He's here to meet his idol, Chris Mclean (he really knows how to pick em, huh). I like the progression he's got, from wanting his approval to straight up wanting to host the game instead of him. I'll admit, my opinion's a little skewed since i am mutuals with the Topher guy on Tumblr, but i like him regardless!

His relationship with Chris is easily one of the more interesting parts of the season, mostly because a 30-something year old dude having beef with a teenage fan is hilarious, and you could definitely spin it in a sad way from Topher's perspective.

It also helps that he's genuinely funny! His few interactions with the other campers are also pretty fun, he dgaf about them it's great.

Im kind of mixed on Dave, i'll be real. On one hand, im glad they ditched the whole "he doesn't like anyone on this Island" trait three episodes in because that would've gotten. SO ANNOYING. SO FAST. (hell i'd argue it was already annoying), and him being a hopeless romantic could be a fun trait, if done right. It also helps that he's really pathetic and i find that funny. His friendship with Shawn's fun too!

But on the other hand... Yeah, even before the finale the Skave plotline's really boringgg. They just dance around eachother for half the season for like! No reason! Please just have a conversation, even if it takes other people to sit them down to have it! I know why they didn't because the finale needed them to not actually talk about it but at least have Sky tell him she'll explain later or have him not be a coward and ask her about it himself!!! ack!!

Also the thing with him and Ella went literally nowhere. I have 0 feelings about it because it's just there for some reason. Idk they just really wanted to shoehorn in romance for every girl this season huh.

Scarlett's a really underutilized character pre-Island reveal. The bulk of her interactions with the other campers are with Max, who has a ton of screentime for some reason (which i don't personally really mind but i'll explain later) which honestly sucks because she's a fun character! I want to compare her to Twilight Sparkle at the very start of MLP. She's smart, she knows it, she can communicate with her teammates just fine and just chooses not to usually. I like her alot! Im just... really disapointed that she's so in the background usually; if anyone's a wasted character in tdpi, outside of the Twins i'd say it's her.

Her legit wanting to kill Max is great though. That's how i'd react to him irl. Don't get the Max saying she had a crush on him three episodes in, or the quip Chris made during the team switching tho.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MAX! I swear, i was convinced i'd find this guy annoying pre-watch but uh... I like this guy! No really, i do! He's like Mal, only the narrative doesn't take him seriously in the slightest and it's hilarious to watch! Im like Sugar in that one clip, i am laughing at this buffoon's intelligence, and his stupid catchphrase, and his "evil" plans, and his general delivery! Max is funny!

Even when the Scarlett "minion" thing kicked in i still found him funny! Don't get me wrong, i wish he'd gotten out earlier (ESPECIALLY when he was supposed to get kicked in the episode Ella got eliminated into) or just gotten less screentime in general, but in the season proper, yeah he's a funny guy! Big gimmick, but i like him! Please don't add nuance to him, i don't care

Jasmine... certaintly exists! I'd call her the Season's rock, the one character that's emotionally intelligent on the show. She's fun in general, and also the only one noticing things going wrong with the robotic island. As said before, her relationship with Sammy is great to see, and i wished we'd see more of her and Sky's friendship and uh. For there to be more between her and Shawn? Because the only things i've retained is that they blushed at eachother once and then trust issues party because he hit her once during a challenge and that completely broke her trust in him - which, could be an interesting aspect of her character to explore since if that's all it took for her to pull a 180 on Shawn, the girl must have a complicated relationship with trust. That's an interesting flaw! It also shows up with her rapport in Sky in the later episodes of this batch, and. GOD. I wish it was developped man!

The issue? Yeah it's dragged on so longggg man! It's frustating to watch frankly because i really wish they'd resolve this conflict quicker since it's like. The same thing every episode :( to my knowledge it's solved in episode 9, but it did NOT need to be dragged out for 4 episodes.

Unrelated to her charater, but her height difference with the other campers is kind of ridiculous. In some shots the characters look so small compared to her it's crazyyy

Ok, now. Sugar. I'll be honest? She's great! She's just a menace and doing her own thing and it's fun to watch! She's also interesting in terms of backstory since she's canonically a pageant queen; her relationship with Ella is greatly impacted by this, since she heavily suspects her of lying to her face when it's just. Ella being Ella. Similar thing to her opinion on Topher; she doesn't like him for his sucking up to Chris, the host (something that Rusty probably agrees with). I fucking wish she was more popular because then people would look into her more, but alas. She's a female, plus sized character in Pahkitew Island, so considering the Fandom's biases, it was never going to happen. U_U

OK TIME FOR ZOMBIE BOY. So, Shawn. He's definitely more present in these episodes than he was before, and, again, i think he's fun! He's a weird little guy. He's got interesting skills (his camouflage, legit parkour, general athleticism) and his personality's interesting as well compared to the other guys. The zombie thing is fine, actually, because they do different things with it over the course of these episodes. Not much to say about him, he's a solid character to me and i wish he had more interactions with the cast outside of Dave and his pining for Jasmine. Who he's talked to like, five times at this point? Again, they probably should've talked stuff out faster than this for me to actually enjoy it. Oh well.

And finally, Sky. She's an interesting case for me? She's fine, mostly. She's the Normal Person™️ of the cast to me, and that means she really struggles to grab me. It's made worse by her main plot being a basic romance plot where the gimmick is that she's a reasonable human being and Dave isn't. And neither are able to have a normal fucking conversation about it either. The mixed signals thing could've been interesting, but this is Fresh TV writters, so of course it didn't end up that way. I assume the episodes without Dave are the ones where her personality shines more? Because so far she's just been really reserved and calm. And said she'd "focus on the competition only" And then. Doesn't. Really. God i wish this season treated it's female characters better :(

OK SO OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Im mixed on alot of the character decisions

god i wished these people talked more

the screentime is not well split among the cast

the romance plots and pacing of the Island plot are the weakest parts of this season

the challenges are fine

Why does Chef have 5 lines total.

Pahkitew Island does NOT deserve the overly negative rep it gets in this Fandom, at least based on the first 8 episodes.

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online, so feel free to use either of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five (sort of six?) wips and over a hundred characters. I may have a problem.

I am a BIG swiftie (favorite albums are 1989 TV and TTPD), and I listen to a lot of Sabrina Carpenter, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, 5SOS, The Scarlet Opera, Chappell Roan, and Gracie Abrams.

I love reading!! My favorite books are Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (my fav author) and She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen.

I've played ukulele for a few years, and I recently started learning guitar. there's a greater than zero chance I might post any music things in the future. ig we'll see.

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I can and will talk your ear off if you let me lol. #blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3

tag games are an ABSOLUTE YES my personal brand of yapping is answering questions

I like to write…

Realistic/contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

LGBTQ+ characters

Coming of age

Romance

Friend groups/found family

otherwise just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda is stuck between the person she is and the person the world wants her to be. Trevor seems to have gotten off easy, but Liz can’t be around him for more than a minute without falling head over heels all over again. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property four times the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach over a mile long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never did, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent privacy. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, past sexual assault Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot earlier this year (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips, as you might be able to tell by the themes, but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. Those are/will be linked in the title for each wip.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

[earwigconsumer]

May start posting fanfics here

A lot of Kennith x Greg fics cuz I only write what I like LMAO

Long rambling incoming, uh oh

I'm working on a fic where Kennith and Greg are normal and have a date at probably Kennith's house. They watch movies, eat popcorn and stuff, and maybe have an edible. But it's just based on what I'm feeling up for. It's in the planning stage, really. I only have a sentence or two down. BUT I'm getting there, it's a quarter done planning!!!! I have a general idea and that's like it

Though there will be NOT NSFW mpreg in my fics because writing it is comforting to me, cuz of my past experiences. Should clarify the not nsfw part, just weird to most people for some fucking reason. If you don't like that, don't read it.

The fic I'm working on rn IS an mpreg fic, but it's just cute shit. It's a Kennith x Greg fic where Greg actually takes care of Kennith, because pregnancy is fucking hard.

If you haven't experienced that, I'm telling you it's really hard. It's exhausting, painful, and just over all uncomfortable. And people are weird about it

But anyway, the fic takes place a year after the colorbars broadcast. It's also out of character a bit for the both of them. Cuz I seriously don't think they're having a kid at all type, but like I don't care. This is for me. I can break whatever canon I wanna. The entire ghost and pals fandom does that every day anyway. They have a house, and the fic starts out with Kennith working from home, and Greg surprising him with something he mentioned wanting before Greg went to work. Then the fic is just general cute shit I wanted but wasn't able to have.

I've been worried about posting it cuz of how people are about mpreg but I just, don't fucking care anymore. Kennith is trans in the fic btw. It wouldn't fly in the 80s, but I'm allowed to change that. It's MY FIC AND IM THE DICTATOR.

Sorry for the rant, LMAO, but because of the ghost and pals tiktok people, I feel the need to clarify it's not sexual in the slightest. Those people are so fragile, they're like very thin glasses. People on Ghost and Pals reddit too, people on there DO find mpreg sexual and that bothers me EXTREMELY.

It makes me so fucking uncomfortable, genuinely.

Tldr: Kennith writes gay fanfics, and some involve mpreg. Don't like mpreg, don't read it and don't make it sexual when it isn't

Good night, it's currently 2:35 am and I am expecting a bad response to this. But I seriously don't entirely care. Now that I've gotten my feelings out about it, actually.

A couple of my mutuals here are following a person with a Kennith gender bent communications au where the equivalent of Kennith and Evelynn kidnap someone to test the broadcast, and Kennith molests the person they kidnaped repeatedly. The creator has since deleted the post where it's mentioned, but I have the post screen shotted

Not my circus. I'm a freak in my freak corner doing my sorta freak things

So I doubt y'all care anyway. But if my content is somehow uncomfortable for you, I have no clue what to tell you man, that's on you, ig???

/\ (should add that's just me trying to say I think I'm being paranoid)

[matrixsss]

About me and a ramble

Hello! Since I've gotten a few new followers and mutuals from the fandom I am currently in and somewhat obsessed with, I decided to do a little introduction of myself (with a side of a ramble).

My name is Sara and I am 25 years old (feels weird saying that and being at this age tbh). I like animals, music, art of any kind, potato chips, and food. I hate bullies, arrogance, bugs, and some other things.

Here comes a little ramble that is about me in a sense. I was first introduced to fandoms when I was 10 ish or maybe older I can't really remember.

My first fandom was Naruto and I was absolutely in love with it and honestly still am (It's a special little part that I always go back to). I wrote a lot of fanfics at that time and they weren't and aren't any good, but it was fun. I met a wonderful person who was also a writer and we became friends. She helped a lot with my writing and I improved.

But at that time I was being bullied in school and in general I was not having a good time irl so I escaped reality for a little while online and Tumblr.

At some point I stopped writing because my mental health declined and I felt envious of my writer friend, whose works were amazing and getting a lot of attention and feedback, while I got nothing and it made me feel my writing was not good enough. I already felt like I wasn't good or good enough for my family and the little friends I had.

But lately, I have been having this need and want to write again, but I am honestly scared and I open a blank docs page and stare at it. I end up not writing anything even tho I have ideas and am daydreaming about these ideas. And I honestly don't know what to do, because I am scared of spiraling again (even though my mental health has gotten better) and I am not sure if this want and need I have is enough.

I'll probably delete the ramble later on or maybe not idk, I just needed to get it off my chest I guess.

Anyways this is me and uhm if you read this far, thanks ig <3

[whosthere54]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers. ❣️

Ooo this is funky!

I haven’t really gotten asks here I don’t think- so first ask ig /lh

5 things that make me happy! Let’s go! Probably incoherent rambling- but yeah!

- Colors of a sunrise/sunset (particularly the oranges- that’s my favorite color along with purple:D)

- Reading. Weather it’s what books I’m reading on paper or fics or anything- it always makes me happy! (I’m currently finishing the last few chapter of GONE by Michael Grant and have the next book of the series sitting to be read next)

- Writing. Again, weather it’s fics or tumblr posts or OC lore or DND stuff- or just creative writing in general- I love to write. I can’t draw well, so I always need to get my ideas down on paper- and writing is my favorite way to do that! Ask anyone who knows me IRL- My notes app is full of so much drafts and unfinished WIPS of random ideas I have.

- Music. God I actually don’t know what I would do without Spotify. Music is such an important part of my life, my whole family is very much into it- and we go to a lot of concerts as our sort of “family bonding time” of sorts. There’s always so many fond memories I have surrounding music, and I listen to so much- whenever I do literally anything there’s always music playing. If I’m not writing or doing school work I’m usually scrolling through Pinterest with music always playing in the background. (My favorite artists/bands are Noah Kahan, Cavetown, Skillet, Zach Bryan, and The Crane Wives! My favorite songs are hard to choose, but I always say Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants <3)

- I’m not really sure what to put here- but I think I have to say Fable SMP and interacting with the community. This is going to be fable SMP appreciation part of this post!

Fable was one of the things that got me through a really hard time in my life, and one of the things I was able to follow, look forward to, and interact with in a healthy environment. I watch a lot of Fable in my free time, as you can maybe tell by my tumblr. That’s my sort of escape time, just binge watching fable episodes for fun. I’m of course and Icarus enjoyer, but Rae was the first POV I really got into and I don’t think I talk about that enough.

If I can’t say fable- just- livestreams. Streamers like heyhay and sherbert are always my sort of comfort streams. If I’m not actively watching fable I’m usually going back and watching whatever recent streams they’ve done or catching up on ones I missed live. It’s such a big part of who I am- and maybe that sounds stupid, but they’ve helped me through tough times and helped me learn who I was as a person even through just watching their streams. I just. Appreciate them a lot.

That’s it! Most of this is probably incoherent but ty for this! This was fun to do <3

[land-of-holly]

Rings of Power Season 2 Episode 6 Liveblog

Are we going to try to hit every plotline this episode? I really think that's too many

Nice soundtrack. Go Arondir!

Shagrat and Gorbag 0.5?

Welp, guess they'll never get their happy retirement.

Are mice allowed in the forge? Seemse dangerous

Tell him, Mirdania!

He doesn't know her name??

Are we getting to the 'gaslight' stage, Annatar??

AUGHHH Charles E is so good, why am I only now getting to see this?

Never give Annatar a task, he will find some way to do it FOR EVIL

A COUP???

Where'd you get those feathers, Annatar?Runes? Carved into the body? Yikes???

You know how those Feanorian smiths get...

YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM MIRDANIA

Where is who?? Sauron?

Dinner at Adar's house!

GIRL WHERE DO YOU GET OFF Can you just admit he got you but good?

Refusing to admit you have anything in common with Adar will do you no good

'Children' Oh yeah, that can definitely be taken A Way

The spikey crown of murder!

Okay good call not fucking talking to him about the rings tho. Opsec ffs

I do appreciate that this entire season's plot rests on information not getting to Eregion. Modern writers often underestimate the power and necessity of reliable communication

I'm interested to see how they'll write the various players' reaction to what is obviously a sham trial

Like they all basically have full mutual knowledge that Pharazon is lying out his ass, right? Are they gonna be dumb and cringe about it?

Pharazon certainly knows how to play a crowd

Well, Elendil is certainly making use of the stage he was given. Good on him

Yeah I'll buy that. No dumb or cringe here.

Trial by ordeal??

Nori's got a nomad's perspective. She has to learn about being attatched to places

They are cute together, sure

Stop it. Slapping your hand. This is not a quote insertion contest. It's not even appropriate. Of course the only good path is to save your friends.

Just surrounding himself with piles of gold

Tell him Durin Jr!

GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN

Oh right, he's ACTUALLY doing his job. Evilly.

Selling arms to the highest bidder is a long Dwarf tradition, come on!

See, 'It's mine. Belongs to me.' is how you create resonanance without being dumb and cringe.

Violence!!

I love them so much. True OTP. Poor Durin.

Okay but this Trial by Abyss had better have more to it than just spectacle.

Earien, if you didn't want leopards to eat your dad's face...

It"s called having principles, girl

Earien has gotten on her knees for Pharazon confirmed (Sorry.)

Where have they been stashing Miriel, anyway?

So we're really doing this? I'm not categorically opposed to the ship, but it seems a little superfluous. Best left to fanfiction IMO

My boy Narvi!

LAY DOWN IN FRONT OF THAT BULLDOZER GIRL

Theory one, Narvi can't even recognize stone singing. Theory two, he knows enough about it to know Disa wasn't doing anything dangerous.

SHE IS THE NIGHT

Well that would look like an inviting ocean ready for a swim if not for the threat of sea monster

LITERAL QUEEN

Ulmo give her back

Woops that didn't go as planned

Damn the Numenorean aristocracy are more easily swayed than the clan leaders in MDZS

Dude what are you doing to that palantir. I think that'll void the warranty

One more for the harem

Galadriel's so good at making this sound like it was her plan all along

I mean numbers aren't going to win this battle. It's all about narrative supremacy.

It's like thinking you can outsmart the devil. You can't

Battle time?

Oughg he's pulling out the big guns. Full immersion illusion, and absolutely beautiful. Elf extras galore!!!

PUT THAT HAMMER DOWN IT IS NOT YOURS

I mean, from a Doylistic perspective Sauron is not wrong about which works are more well known GOD I HATE HIM SM

STOP TEMPTING HIM

The Eregion scenes this season really have been everything I wanted

Damn they sure have some seige weaponry

This episode was actually fairly well-paced in my opinion! We checked in with everyone (except Elrond rip)(and technically Isildur ig) and were able to make some serious progress on a couple of storylines.

[adhdmommanl]

February 5th, 2024.

I’ve have had some memories come back to me about the boyfriend I had at age 14, he was 20, almost 21… I am having the realization that I was sexually assaulted. That people close to me, as well as him….adults, knew… and did nothing.

I’m actually processing it quite well(I think). I Had one of those good for the soul days with ✨my people✨, crying and pouring it all out into the universe and the memories came OVERWHELMINGLY rushing to the surface.

My story just spewing from my mouth like an over boiling kettle.

I remember him adding me on MSN messanger when I was 14…(June 2005), he had gotten my info through a “mutual friend”, who was 15 or 16 years old at the time.

He had received a black and white photo of me, cuddling into a stuffed Mickey Mouse teddy bear. He thought I was cute. He asked me what type of alcohol I liked and he invited me and my “friend” to a party where he would of course supply all of the alcohol, because he was a gentleman.

He took my virginity that night. I didn’t even understand what that meant. I didn’t understand what sex even meant. Had he worn a condom? I don’t know the answers to the endless questions I had.

I’m having all of these memories come back and I’m so upset by them. However, it’s strange. It’s as if I’m sad for the little kid me. Not the ME that I am today.

I feel so sad that she wasn’t protected. I know that it’s not my fault, because I was a child. I was a little kid. And this adult man took advantage of my innocence and vulnerable family situation. Knowingly feeding alcohol to a minor with the intent of sex.

I also have memories of disturbing pornography on his computer throughout our 11-12 year relationship that ensued. However, I remember being too afraid to come forward to anyone. Or bringing it up to him, in fear of repercussions from him.

But the next steps is where I’m frozen and feel like I can’t move. Do I report it now? Is it possible to report it?

He is married with a little girl on the way. He is the step father to a young girl.

And I am left with the aching memory of crying in that man’s bathroom, covered in dried up blood, fighting back tears, with the disgusting and dizzying taste of blue REV on my breath. I am left to accept the fact that I was a victim of sexual assault.

As I sit about the press post, I recognize the date. It’s his birthday today. I wonder does he recall the day that impacted my life so disturbingly much? Does he know the pain he caused?

HOPE.

Hold on, Pain Ends.

You are stronger than your hardest moments. 🌻

IG; @ToTheRecoveringSoul

[fangirlanxiety74]

Hrmmm…,,.,,, now what do I think of yooouu….,,,..

Well… okay.

When I first started on Tumblr, I had… no real confidence in my art. I was doing it for fun, but… I also never much liked what I produced. So, when I started garnering attention and people started especially noticing my work, it was… scary. Overwhelming. Exciting, of course, but… it was a lot for a 14ish y/o to deal with.

Then I got into IHNM and… wowzers. Suddenly there was this thing that I could just stick to. Enjoy and draw for with no real thought behind it. I had this sudden burst of “I want to create!!!! I want to join people and have fun and be silly and not think about if my art has to be good or not!!” And… man. Out of the blue I was just having raw fun with something.

But… still. As much fun as I was having, I was so scared to… share that enjoyment. Let people see my silly AUs and hear me ramble about my OCs. But, again!! People liked it!!! People who I thought were really cool were actually giving my silly stuff attention.

And this username kept popping up- on every reblog with tags that made me laugh, or smile, or just feel genuine honor- there was the same name. Ofc, it was yours.

Then I joined the Belly of AM Discord, and!!! Oh my god, people knew who I was there!!!! I’d chatted with a few through tumblr, sure, but for those people to welcome me into their little group with name alone? Ahhh!!!!

And, especially, there was you. You listened to all my rambles, replied to me in chats, talked to me through VC, stumbled through my insane texts and just… you were just always there.

And then you put out a hand, and started reaching to be present, out of fandom. Out of reality.

Thank you for being a friend. For being so encouraging, and kind, and welcoming, and- human, really.

I was in a dark place when I first started speaking to you on a more personal level- had been for a while, and… kinda still am. But you, and everyone I’ve met through Tumblr and Discord, have aided me in achieving a much healthier mindset.

I don’t know where I’d be without a friend like you. I don’t know where I’d be with people like you. And it all sounds weird to say, but!! man… I’m really glad I get to be part of your day-to-day. You’ve brought me to a place I didn’t think I’d be- both from just being yourself, and from you lifting me up.

Thank you for being my friend. Really. I hope, whatever future lies ahead, is one where you’re happy. I know it, actually. Someone like you gets a happy ending.

-Beento

I-

*sigh* Okay.

Honestly? I did not expect us to have close friends. I really did, genuinely, want to befriend you but I'm shy about these things, so the best I could do was just, let you know I loved your artwork and OCs through tags and replies and whatnot!!! And I was perfectly cool with it. I loved your art, and your AUs, and this creative energy you had going on and it helped me get out of my funk I had been stuck in for ages where I wasn't writing or drawing or doing anything. Because, I wanted to have the same courage you had to put myself out there!!!

And then you joined the discord, and I got super excited, because "Oh!!! I know this person!!! We're mutuals, and we get along, and now I get to see more of their content and I get to learn more about them!!!"

And I did, and it was great!!! And then we started rping together, and talking about OCs with each other, and it just kinda blossomed and I got to see *you* blossom into this super amazing person that really had an impact on my life, even if it doesn't seem like it first glance!!! Like, man, I'm so so so happy to have gotten to meet you.

And then when we started actually, opening up to each other, and talking on vc and whatnot? I felt like. Honored, ig? That you wanted to in the first place??? That you LIKED and CARED for my OCs, and even more, cared for ME??? As much as I care for you, even!!!

I meant what I said. I'm so proud of you. Of all the things you've had to face, and the things you're facing now, and the things you'll face eventually; I'm proud of you for doing it! For making it out! For still, being here, existing, making my life and the lives of everyone else better, and for you choosing to make yourself better, even if it's hard to do right now!!! You're literally so incredible, I cannot stress that enough. And I'm really honored that you allow me to be there to support you and cheer you on while you go and do incredible things!!! For letting me be a part of your life.

I feel like I could go on about this but I'd just, be rambling on in circles. But like, bottom line:

Thank you. And I care about you, immensely. And I really do wish you the best in everything you do.

And never forget where it all started: Me feeling very strongly about Benny telling AM about the FNAF lore.

It's crazy what FNAF can do to bring people together /hj

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi!

Hope your week is going well. I have a weird question but how do you not mix business with pleasure?

I have a slight liking towards this man on campus who does film and videos and it’s been successful. And it’s something I’ve been wanting to learn for my career as well. Last time I spoke to him it was passing by, and I’ve spoken to him here and there (once again- in passing) before. (We’d both be nervous when talking lol to one another)

I mistakenly told him I’ve been looking for him (since he no longer lives in the dorm building we met at) and he said he’s off campus, then I also said we need to talk, and he should follow me on IG and I shouted my handle, he said ok as he left.

It was silly, I’m sure I scared him away and I was embarrassed by my choice of words. He never followed me or dm’d me and I am too proud to even reach out. I would like to network and ask for advice but not sure if it’s appropriate.

I’ve gotten into these situations where I accidentally mix business with pleasure when I meet men who have these qualities that would help me in the long run, then they ghost me after the said project is done, and I felt like there would be potential to chat and be friends and maybe something can form that’s causal. Maybe I’m going about this all wrong.

I’d love some advice regarding that.

Thanks so much ! 🪽

Hi love! I totally get how this issue can get sticky. I've been in the opposite position before – when some potential clients have gotten a little too flirty (rare and it's been a while since this happened, but alas). Anyways, it seems like you're both legal adults, in the same age bracket (or relatively close in age), and there's no power dynamic at play (like a boss or a professor), so labeling anything as black and white at this stage is just going to give you more anxiety and make you overthink this situation past the facts at hand.

To ensure your relationship remains professional, always ensure you're reaching out with a clear reason, ask, and intention. If you choose to meet in person for a chat-up, ensure it's in a public place – preferably during the day with no alcohol involved (coffee is perfect – anyone who assumes that a professional coffee chat is a date automatically is quite presumptuous in my book, regardless of the ages or genders of the people involved). An example of this type of outreach would be "hey! I've been working on X project and know that you specialize in X industry, industry solutions, demographic, product development, methodology, etc., I'm wondering if you would be open to looking over these notes/paper/project/assignment and share your thoughts or chat about X industry question over coffee? I appreciate your expertise in X field." It can be more casual than this, but you get the idea.

In terms of staying in touch with professional contacts who happen to be men, take a similar approach as you would with maintaining a professional connection with anyone else who is not of your desired gender. Send them articles, links to studies, etc. surrounding your common professional interests every once in a while if they make you think of them, feel free to give them a short update on your professional/academic life and hobbies, etc., and, on occasion, if you want, reach out to see if they're open to a coffee chat to discuss one of the current projects you're working on, a new job, switching majors, etc.

Just treat them like a professional friend. Don't be nervous around them like a crush if you want to maintain a professional connection with them. While, sometimes, professional connections can lead to forming healthy, long-lasting relationships, cross that bridge when you come to it. You will know if the interest is mutual or not after a couple of interactions. Be smart about it, but don't overthink it.

Hope this helps xx