#like oh this character did something shitty one time they are now completely defined by that shitty act

[grayintogreen]

Respectfully, but a character can be and SHOULD BE allowed to be more than one thing without it being considered "contradictory", "retconning," or "negative character development."

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[fbfh]

I think you've horribly misread the situation [shitty roommate pt 2] - leo x reader

wc: 2.3k

genre: contemporary drama, you're definitly going to get second hand embarrassment, cozy fluff

pairing: leo x reader, attempted isabella x leo

reader: gender neutral, they/them

requested: hell yeah

warnings: mild swearing, roommate tries to steal your man once again, mentions of various mainstream vampire media (twilight, the vampire diaries etc.), brief mention of castlevania (even though i haven't seen it yet lol), breif mention of videogames and assassins creed, very mild delusion (roommate is secretly convinced leo is a vampire that's in love with her), attempted age gap relationship (she's 17 and leo's 19, he shuts that down real fast), very bad poetry

summary: You and Leo are both looking foward to spending a long weekend together, and Leo is determined not to let anything interrupt it, even if it means turning down your roommate's attempts to seduce him in the kitchen.

a/n: absolutley no hate or shade or judgement to anyone who has the same or similar traits as isabella!!!!!! at her core she's annoying because she's the antagonist, not bc of any isolated trait or traits

also she's shitty cause she keeps trying to steal your boyfriend?????

Edit: I forgot to mention before, but this is a college au where you're both still demigods, so you went to camp and on quests and stuff together

This weekend is going to be all about recharging. Recharging from the ridiculous back to back closing and opening shifts at work, recharging from having to redo that stupid project twice because your professor couldn’t decide on a clear way to define the criteria, and recharging from Isabella having her townie friend Regan over almost non stop to “completely shake up her look” as she put it.

Between the constant presence of someone you’d barely consider an acquaintance and Big Time Rush’s self titled album blasting on repeat out of her giant airpod shaped speaker, it’s been harder than usual to get in some effective self care. You have no idea how many more times you can hear the phrase “I’m going for Jade West meets Elena Gilbert, with just a little Buffy Summers” before you lose your fucking mind.

Thankfully, the hard part is almost over. There’s some minor holiday tomorrow on friday, so you and Leo both have a three day weekend ahead of you, which you intend to spend entirely together. You planned ahead, frontloading homework, chores, errands, and everything you could think of to remove anything that isn’t cuddling or playing video games and watching netflix together from your horizon.

This includes going straight from work to the grocery store to stock the fridge and get any snacks you and Leo want. You had texted him a while ago asking for anything he was craving, and head into the store with a concrete list. After a while, you circle around some aisles, avoiding the check out.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” you muse, knowing it’s untrue, but hoping to trigger a memory anyway. You can’t put it off any longer, finally checking out and heading back to your apartment. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t avoiding Isabella just a little.

You know bringing in all these groceries would be way easier with Isabella and possibly Regan’s help, but you just don’t have the social energy to talk to anyone, much less her, right now. By some miracle, you bring everything in yourself, and hope to get it put away before you see Isabella.

You turn to the freezer, putting away the ice cream. When you turn back around, you’re suddenly met face to face with Isabella, who has opened one of the boxes and is picking at a pastry.

“Hey girlie,” she says, elongating the hey.

“Hey,” you reply lethargically, putting the last of the groceries away. She looks at the pastry in her hand like she’s just noticing it.

“Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m italian.” She smiles, endeared by her own behavior. You have no idea what being italian has to do with asking before you open a box of your roommate’s food, but this really isn’t out of character for her. She brings up the fact that she’s half italian more than Lele Pons blames her behavior on being latina.

She’s wearing sweatpants that say chaser on the leg in red and gold varsity font, and a tight tee shirt that says “it’s okay to love them both” with silhouettes of the male love interests from one of the vampire shows she always watches. You collect the plastic bags to put in recycling, and see a piece of paper on the counter.

It reads as follows:

Drowning in my mind

No one hears me cry

Who was I before society

Before society put me in a pink dress

And handed me blonde hair dye

And told me to lose ten pounds or be labeled a freak?

The happiest people cry the most

Let the lyrics be your story

But I’m not like the other skinny blonde pretty girls

I’m

Different

-b.g. xox

You hold back a sigh.

“I think this is yours.” you say, handing it to her.

“Oh, it’s just some of my poetry I left lying around, that’s so embarrassing.”

I know, you think, you do that all the time.

“Did you read it?” She asks, hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Thank god, that would have been so embarrassing. My poetry is something really… deep, and personal to me.”

“Uh huh. Hey, I’m going to be doing a lot of self care this weekend, so-”

“Oh!” she interjects, eerily similar to Phoebe Buffay - you guess she’s been watching friends again - “I wanted to ask… is Leo coming over later?” Her voice is riddled with subtext, the expression on her face a little too invested in your answer.

“Uh, yeah. I told you the other day we’re spending the weekend together…”

She cuts you off again, a sudden, intense look on her face.

“When will he be here?”

You check your phone, scrolling through your recent texts.

“By 7 at the latest.” It’s around 6:40 now.

“Oh my god, I have to change,” she rushes back to her room, presumably digging through her recent additions to her closet.

You’re frozen for a minute after the interaction, left with a furrowed brow and the beginnings of a headache. You blink, then choose to reschedule processing why she feels the need to change for your boyfriend to a more convenient time. That’s enough of that for today. You don’t care what else happens, you’re not talking to anyone besides Leo for at least the rest of the day. You retreat to your room to finally shower and change into something comfy. As you pass by Isabella’s room, you hear her talking to Regan.

“...There’s something almost… supernatural about him.”

You bite back a laugh.

“Do you think he’s a…” Regan begins, ending the sentence with something too quiet to hear, but you’d bet almost any organ she said vampire.

So close. So, so close, and yet… here you are.

Not much later, Leo texts you to let you know he’s here. You read his text, and run out to hug him in the living room before even typing a reply. He picks you up, and spins you around. The embrace is warm and fulfilling and familiar, and you wish it would last forever.

“Hi, Sparky.” you murmur into his neck.

“Estrella…” he says, rocking you back and forth gently and pressing a kiss into your jawline, “I missed you so much.” He punctuates the sentence with another kiss, this one to your lips, and you smile more genuinely than you have all day. You’re about to agree when you remember the good news you’ve been saving to tell him in person.

“Guess what I got on sale for like, half off,” you start, excitedly, continuing at his invested expression, “the Assassin’s Creed bundle I showed you!”

“No way,” he starts, and you nod.

“I’ll go get everything set up, drinks are in the kitchen!” He watches you retreat into your room, disbelieving how he could possibly get someone as perfect as you to fall for him. He’s not going to question his luck. He grabs a couple caffeinated sparkling ices, and meets you in your room, setting down his bag and grabbing some comfy clothes to change into.

As you both get settled in, you fill each other in on all the ridiculous shit you’ve been through this week. You finally conclude the bizarre - yet somehow standard - Isabella escapades.

“So I will be avoiding all contact as much as possible,” you laugh.

“Yeah, no shit,” he agrees, “Consider me your human buffer.” You thank him, hugging him again and pressing a kiss to his lips.

The next couple hours are spent cuddling and finishing season 4 of Castlevania. Both reeling from the season finale, you agree this is a good place to take a break, get some food, and decide what game you should start with. It’s already 10pm, which most people would consider too late for dinner, but you have all weekend to fuck up your sleep schedules.

“Let’s review,” Isabella says, holding up two red lipsticks. She turns to Regan. “Which one?”

“That one,” Regan says, pointing to the one on the left, then turns to her list, and continues. “Here’s what we know; we’ve never seen him eat, and he never seems tired. He’s really smart-”

“Almost too smart,” Isabella adds, selecting black rose dangle earrings from her jewelry. Regan agrees, and continues.

“He’s almost hypnotically attractive, and his smile is a little too dazzling.”

“There’s something… supernatural about him. Like he’s not… all human.”

Regan writes this down.

“Plus he’s always wearing black and red, and those flowy button up shirts? It’s all adding up, Ree. That dream that someone was outside my window, the ring, everything…” She says, referencing the black and red cocktail ring she’d found with her stuff when she’d first moved, “I’m not saying it’s definite, just that… there’s a chance.”

“What about…” Regan says hesitantly, nodding toward your room.

“Please,” she scoffs, “he’s only with them to get close to me, like Damon and Caroline. Edward couldn’t have just approached Bella out of the blue, he had to infiltrate her friend group first, to seem less suspicious. Not to sound mean or anything, but they really don’t seem like the type someone… like him… would choose.” her voice gets dreamy when she mentions him.

In spite of having seen most mainstream vampire media almost as many times as Isabella, Regan still considers her the expert on these things, and decides not to point out that Edward didn’t infiltrate Bella’s friend group. Maybe it comes up in one of the retellings she hasn’t read yet.

“So, what now?”

Isabella sets down her lipstick, and turns to her friend.

“I tell him.”

Regan’s eyes widen.

“You’re going to tell him you know?”

“No… not yet. It’s too soon, we don’t have enough evidence. I’m going to tell him I know he’s in love with me, then once he’s secure in our relationship... we’ll see where it goes.”

She stands up, assessing herself in the mirror. She chose her outfit carefully; short red dress with black roses and black mesh collar, black rose bracelet to match her earrings, snug faux leather jacket, and black stiletto ankle booties with a very skinny heel, the zipper on the outside gold, not silver. She fluffs her wavy hair and turns towards the door. She looks back one more time, holding onto the doorway.

“Wish me luck.”

Leo enters the kitchen, seeing Isabella already there, leaning against the counter seductively. She’s wearing an outfit and jewelry this late at night that makes Leo wonder if she’s going to an emo tea party. He puts the takeout in the microwave. She’s still staring at him.

“Uh… hey.”

She lets out a dainty giggle, looking him up and down.

“... Hi.”

At a loss for words, and really wanting the awkward silence to be over, he continues, “Did you need something?”

“What I need,” she walks closer to him, tracing her finger over his collar, “is you.”

What the fuck?

His brain seems to stall for a moment, and she uses this opportunity to continue.

“I know why you’re here. I know that you’re only using them to get closer to me. I know-”

“Woah-”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Okay, double what the fuck.

She takes his stunned silence as shyness, and steps closer, putting her arms around his shoulders.

“You don’t need to play so coy, I-”

This time she’s the one that gets cut off. He grabs her arms and gently steps away, trying to make it abundantly clear that he’s not into this.

“Woah, okay, slow down. First of all, you’re 17 and I’m turning 20 in a couple months, so that’s a hard no. Second, I don’t know where you got this idea, but I am not dating them to get closer to you. We’ve known each other since we were like, 15, and have been through everything together. I’ve only known you for a couple months. I love them. Probably more than I’ve loved anything ever. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He doesn’t want to be mean, he really doesn’t, but he can tell from the look on her face that she still thinks this is all part of some game.

“So why don’t I ever see you eat? Why are you so smart, and always up at night? I know what you are.”

He has to physically hold back a laugh. He takes a step back, and places his hands on the counter.

“Isabella, I have adhd. And I’m literally an engineering student. Why wouldn’t I be smart and have a shitty sleep schedule?”

She starts to protest, and he pulls out the reheated take out from the microwave.

“And for the record, I do eat.”

Exiting the kitchen quickly and retreating back to your room, he hands you your food.

“I got the game set up!” you say excitedly.

“Nice!”

You take one look at his face and can tell something happened. He sees this, and continues.

“I just had a very… interesting interaction with Isabella,” before he finishes the sentence, your head is already in your hands. You let out a groan.

“What did she do?” you mutter from behind your hands.

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back.

“I’m not totally sure,” you laugh, “but I think she thinks I’m secretly in love with her…” you’re both laughing before he can even finish the sentence.

“No…” you laugh, “no fucking way…”

“Believe me, I put an end to that as soon as it started.”

“Oh, I do.”

He runs his hand over your back, and you’re quiet for a moment.

“You know,” he continues, “I think getting our own place has definitely moved up the priority list.”

You couldn’t agree more.

[chaoticookie]

So... I am a pro-Zutara. And a pro-Kataang. I am not a particular fan of Zukka because I never saw much romantic chemistry between them. I am, though, a fan of Sukka (lmao did you notice the pun? I love this pu omg). ANYWAYS. That's beside the point.

The point in question is, people can like multiple things at the same time or like just one of them, but do you really need to argue about it with people who don't agree? We live in a world where internet allows people to see each others opinions and interact over them, and share experiences, and on. I know it's a post about ships, but I'll just use it to vent about some stuff too.

Do opinions hurt? Sometimes. But only if you give them power to get to you. People will always disagree in various aspects, and that's why the internet is so chaotic. As ideals and opinions diverge yet collide in here, we end up simply closing our eyes and becoming more and more closed off to the rest of the world.

Some time ago I entered a debate about a ship in The Owl House, where someone was saying that shipping certain male character with the bisexual main character was erasing the representativity (the main character is a girl and has a girlfriend), and was blocking anyone who shipped that specific ship. And... that's kind of COMPLETELY idiot.

Is one defined by their opinions? NO! It's the actions! Do you see action in tumblr? Of course not, people come here for memes, fooling around, fandoming and complain about life (me included).

What I want to say with this is, stop blocking people who doesn't agree in some way with you. Not agreeing is not harassment. Not liking something about someone is not hating them. You are not defined by your opinions, sexuality or mental illness. The same way someone can agree with some parts of this text and disagree with other parts.

The big problem, I see, is the twisted respect for opinions. People seem to think that you have to respect opinions. No! You respect the person who holds the opinion, wether it's a good or shitty one.

I have a friend who thinks Drarry is a thing. I strongly disagree and think it's nonsense. I think their opinion is trash. We are friends, despite my dislike for their opinion.

Repeat with me:

Opinions can be trash, but their holder is a person who deserves respect.

Stop trying to respect values and ideals when is the human who actually deserves it.

Now, the big question? When am I not respecting someone while respecting the opinion?

Answer: when you offend. In the moment you start throwing offenses, in that specific moment, it doesn't matter what or who you are deffending, you're in the wrong. Harassing is even worse.

"Oh this person talks about my autism like it's idiot." It happens a lot with me. They are wrong. Yet, that's no reason to start harassing and attacking them. I am way more than my divergence, and as long as they respect me as a person and don't push me, if the only issue is this particular opinion, I don't need to care. I am more than that.

"This person doesn't support my sexuality." Are they attacking me? Are they harassing me? No? Then what's the problem? I am more than my sexuality.

"This person agrees with this politic wich I don't." Are they forcing me to agree? Are they always talking about it in order to convince me? Are they attacking me for disagreeing? No? Then I can move on, we are not defined by this.

One can still argue "but Cookie, aren't the ideals a major part of what makes the person?" It depends. Everything has an origin, a coin always have two sides. You don't need to understand why, though. Just respect the person.

I wasn't going to, but I'll bring the JKR example into the table.

She expressed herself in tweets and the world started attacking her. Are her opinions trash for you? Great, but she is still a human being who deserves respect.

I saw this news about her in the internet, where it was said that a man invaded her private property and started verbally attacking her "in deffense of those she harmed". Even if he was to be right in his claims, he lost any point for doing that. The law won't put you in jail for having opinions (well... except China, Russia, and simmilar countries), but for breaking into someone's property? It's the same in debates.

In blocking out people who disagree with you, you're not only preventing yourself from seeing other perspectives, but also from learing new ways to stand by your point and knowing new people.

Don't close your heart to people because they don't respect your opinions. Never respect opinions, they are not living things. Respect people, despite whatever idiocy they believe in or like.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

- Voltáire.

[battlinghurricanes]

LITYERSES HEADCANONS!!!!!!!

I saw some other headcanon posts for him, so I felt inspired to throw my own ideas out there! I think some of my headcanons are pretty different from the ones a lot of people have of him, but I always like reading other people’s ideas so hopefully people will like this too!

(also theres a lot, this is long *cough* my bad)

- After the incident in The Lost Hero, after Midas dies, Lityerses is homeless. His father’s mansion is destroyed and it’s not like he has anyone to turn to.

- They mention in The Lost Hero that the Hunters of Artemis came across Midas and Lityerses earlier. When they did, Lityerses heard in passing about Camp Half-Blood. It’s the only place meant for demigods that he has even the slightest knowledge on, so he sets his sights on making it there.

- It takes eight grim months to reach New York. It’s half a miracle, slowly taking busses, hitchhiking, and sometimes just walking to the next city. Monsters attack him the entire way and he adds plenty of new scars to his collection.

- There’s no reliable way for him to get money. He gets much, much better at using his powers as a son of Demeter. He uses it to grow fruits, vegetables, and any sort of edible plant so he can at least have food of some kind.

- He goes to New York City because he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t even know if the Hunters were talking about the city or the state but he figures he has to start somewhere. Unfortunately, the Triumvirate notices his presence before anyone from Camp Half-Blood does.

- He follows some demigods to Nero, who sent them to collect him. He offers a position working for the Triumvirate in exchange for food, lodging, and other basic support. Lityerses is tired and he wants to sleep in a bed and have proper meals he doesn’t have to worry about acquiring.

- He accepts, not caring if what the Triumvirate is doing is shitty or not. Nero sends him to Indianapolis to work for Commodus.

- Apollo’s decision to give him another chance was very affecting. Especially coming from ancient times when the stories of the gods on earth were far more real and immediate, he knows very well how the gods could treat mortals as simply disposable.

- He had never questioned his belief that any mortal who got wrapped up in business with a god suffered a horrible fate because of it, whether the god intended it or not.

- But then Apollo saved his life and defended him at the Waystation and told him he trusted him and Lityerses’s mind keeps drifting back to him over and over and over.

- His mind wants to reconcile what Apollo did for him with what he knows about the gods. He can’t, and that makes him feel a great many things that he can’t pin down. Apollo decided to care about him when he had no reason to, and he doesn’t know what that means for him.

- He feels a twinge of gratitude whenever he steps into the sunlight and pulse of anxiety whenever he wonders if he’s okay on his quest.

- He thinks about Meg, his little sister, and hopes they’re keeping each other safe.

- Lityerses can occasionally seem really dull, indifferent, or unresponsive because he gives super minimal reactions to things sometimes, but that’s really not the case.

- Being in the modern world for him is sort of like a slight, but near constant sensory overload. Sometimes, his brain is too busy processing other stuff to fully load up an emotional response. He’ll react to something in his mind but he won’t express it outwardly at all.

- Leo, running up: Wanna help me strap a firework to a crossbow bolt and try to shoot it into the office building across the street to see if it’ll blow up in there?!!!!!     Lityerses, with a completely flat voice and blank expression: I think that’s a very bad idea.

- It’s definitely not all the time, but it does happen.

- (Me? Projecting sensory issues onto every character I like? It’s more likely than you think.)

- He has a very “go with the flow” attitude, to the point of being a character flaw sometimes. It can make him easy to manipulate.

- (Commodus: hey lityerses go put this barbed wire and war helmets and metal teeth on these ostriches     Liyerses, in his head: uhuh uhuh uhuh uhuh yeah cool got it i hope i still have some fingers left tomorrow)

- He’s working on it though. He’s working on it.

- One side effect of this is that whenever Leo makes some pop culture or meme reference, Lityerses will just nod and agree. It takes Leo forever to realise that he was just lying going along with it.

- *mid conversation*  Lityerses: I’d go get some food, but I don’t have any money     Leo: dude, you’re literally just the 69 cents vine, not enough for chicken nuggets     Lityerses: oh, for sure     Calypso, overhearing: wait, you understood that??     Lityerses: no, I’ve never understood a single word that’s left leo’s mouth       Leo: what?!!!! but you said you understood my reference to that dril tweet the other day, right?!      Lityerses: yeah, of course      Calypso: what’s a dril tweet??      Lityerses: I don’t know.       Leo: YOU TRAITOR

- Another side effect: he’s a complete pushover for Georgie.

- At one point, when some of the Waystation crew are walking out in the city, she complains that she’s tired and wants to be carried. When her moms gently refuse, she immediately goes over to Lityerses and holds her arms out and says that she’s tired. He doesn’t even stop walking, he just swoops her up and puts her on his shoulder right away.

- Hemithia and Jo glare at him but he just avoids eye contact. “She’s already up there, too much effort to put her down now.”

- He was in the Fields of Punishment in the Underworld and wow was it incredibly traumatizing.

- His memories of death are sickeningly agonizing, but they also usually feel distant and unreal. Sometimes, though, they’ll worm their way into his dreams with horrific clarity. He’ll wake up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating, with full body tremors he can’t control.

- One morning after waking up like that, while sitting on the floor regaining his composure, Hemithea comes in to see why he wasn’t up yet. He pulls himself together in due time. He doesn’t answer any of her questions.

- He never talks about it, but he’s truly terrified of dying. He never was before, but now that he knows what’s waiting for him...

- It doesn’t help that he knows that, no matter how careful he is or how well he defends himself, he could die at any moment if Thanatos decides to bring him back to the Underworld.

- It weighs on the back of his mind that, at least on a technical level, he has no right to be alive. Sometimes he can’t help but think that the things he does now don’t matter in the end, because there’s no reason he would get a second judgement when he does eventually return to the Underworld.

- He does his best to shut that down and remind himself that trying to do the right thing helps the people around him, no matter what happens after his death, but the thought exists and it is painful.

- He really never voices these fears because he feels like all he can really do is try not to think about it, and when he does, he tries to forget as soon as he can. It’s a burden he shoulders as quietly as he can.

- He isn’t used to owning a lot of material possessions, both from how he lived in ancient times and then from being homeless for a while. He’s only ever described wearing that Cornhuskers shirt because it’s the only one he owned for a while.

- Not long after joining the Waystation, the first time he was going out somewhere them, Jo snapped that it just made him look stupid, trying to look tough by going without a coat when it was so cold outside. Earnestly confused and defensive, he tells her that he just doesn’t own one.

- After that, she insists on filling his wardrobe until he has enough clothes.

- (Speaking of the Cornhuskers shirt, he just picked it out on a whim, sort of thinking of Demeter (They grow corn here like we used to grow wheat, right?) and sort of just thinking it looked cool. Olujime once tried to talk to him about how some college teams were doing and Lityerses just goes “What’s football?”)

- He doesn’t really get modern fashion trends. Leo offers to catch him up, but he declines very quickly.

- In ancient times, dyes and patterns available for clothes were much more limited and much more expensive. He’s fascinated by all the colors and prints people can wear just all the time now. Lityerses wears a lot of bright colors because he thinks they’re cool and fun. He likes red, blue, and purple the most but he’ll wear a lot of stuff.

- Along with not really following any trends, he also hasn’t picked up on a lot of unspoken gender connotations that come with modern clothing.

- When the Waystation are first trying to get him some clothes, he picks out a pink jacket and Leo snorts at him like “You’re going for pink?” Lityerses just stares at him like “Yeah. It’s just pink.” Leo sort of realizes and goes, “Oh, it’s just, you know...” to Calypso. But Calypso is also just staring blankly and says, “No I don’t. I don’t get it. Is there something about pink?” And Leo notices Hemithea glaring daggers at him and he laughs nervously and goes, “Nevermind, it was a stupid joke anyway.”

- Hemithia: Leave the ancient demigod and ex-titan blissfully unaware of our complex, modern gender stereotypes.    Leo, sweating: gotcha.

- He pretty much just wears what he finds comfortable. Generally it’s just t-shirts with jeans or basketball shorts.

- Lityerses is a super clingy sleeper and will reflexively grab on to anything within arms reach while he’s asleep. (He’s a big spoon by nature.)

- Leo discovers this and now, whenever Lityerses falls asleep on one of the couches, he’ll entertain himself by slowly pushing a pillow up to him until he inevitably grabs it and pulls it against his chest.

- No one gets those pillows back until Lityerses wakes up.

- He’s very buff. His muscles aren’t super defined, nothing at all like a bodybuilder, no six pack abs or anything. But he’s built. Thick arms.

- He’s very limber and flexible too. He has great balance, which lets him move as fast as he does in combat. He’s quite physically fit in general.

- He’ll never admit it, but he ended up getting attached to the highlights in his hair he got when Apollo revealed his godly form. He thought they were fun and different and he sort of missed it when his hair grew out.

[wittyvitale]

A Good Man (A Fluffy Castlevania Trepha Fic)

Author’s Note:  The Season 4 promo poster and trailer finally gave me the inspiration I needed to finish this fic. I can't wait for more soft Trepha content in Season 4, let's goooooooo

*

The evening was well underway and the Belmont mansion had a fire crackling in the fireplace. Trevor was seated on the couch, staring into the dancing flames. He looked away at the sound of familiar footsteps and watched as Sypha entered the room with a very drowsy baby snuggled against her chest. Trevor smiled softly at the pair.

“How’s our girl doing?” Trevor asked, a tinge of fatherly pride in his voice.

“Sonia is a very happy baby,” Sypha said with a smile as she sat next to her husband “She’s been fed, burped, and changed. In other words, she’s at her best right now.”

The baby sleepily looked around her and spotted her father.  Her lips began to curl upward and she reached a hand in Trevor’s direction. Trevor was only too happy to take his daughter and place her so that she was laying comfortably on his chest.

“A full stomach and a good shit are enough to make me happy as well,” Trevor replied as he held his daughter close. “Good job, Sunny.”

Sypha rolled her eyes but nestled into her husband’s side. She admired the baby who was starting to fall asleep on Trevor’s chest. Sypha took one finger and gently stroked her daughter’s cheek.

“She really takes after you, you know,” Sypha began. “She has your hair and your nose. She has your smile too.”

Trevor hummed. “You know that’s the first thing Alucard’ll comment on when he meets her. ‘How unfortunate that such a young child should be cursed with your looks, Belmont.’” Trevor ended with his best impression of the dhampir.

Sypha giggled in response. “Of course he’ll make a few smart remarks. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Alucard. But he’s Sonia’s honorary uncle. He’s going to fall in love with her.”

Trevor looked into Sonia’s eyes, which were blinking slowly. “Perhaps. But he’ll also say that Sonia’s only redeeming physical trait is her mother’s eyes. And honestly, that’s something I can agree with.”

Trevor and Sypha sat in companionable silence staring at their baby, completely entranced by this little human they had made together. Sonia shifted so she could nuzzle further into Trevor’s chest as sleep grew closer to claiming her. Trevor felt his heart swell.

“It’s amazing. I think she actually loves me.” Trevor said, sounding slightly surprised. Sypha raised an eyebrow.

“You’re her papa, of course she loves you!” Sypha responded incredulously, surprised at Trevor’s surprise. “Did you really doubt that our daughter loved you?”

Trevor took a deep breath and sighed. He had been reflecting on his life frequently over the past few months, and he finally decided to share his thoughts with Sypha.

“I mean, before I met you, I was an asshole.” Trevor explained. Sypha snickered.

“Oh believe me, I was well aware of that,” she replied with a smirk. “When we first met, I tried to tell you my name and you said ‘I don’t care’ before I finished. But what does that have to do with now?”

Trevor took a few seconds to think about how he was going to word his thoughts.

“After my family was killed and I was on my own, I honestly never expected to have a child or start my own family. I was convinced the Belmont line would die with me. I drifted from bar to bar without a purpose in life, starting fights and getting drunk every chance I got. Didn’t care about anything or anybody, especially not myself. I wasted years of my life doing that shit. I wasted years of my life being a shitty person. I never expected to be here, married with a kid, living in the rebuilt mansion of my ancestors. I sometimes wonder if I deserve any of this. I wonder how anybody could love me after how horrible I was.”

Sypha listened carefully (as Speakers tend to do.) She sat up and gently placed her hands on Trevor’s face.

“Trevor,” Sypha started. “We’ve known each other for several years now. We’ve travelled across the country together and now we have a child. I would like to think we know each other pretty well. Do you honestly think I would have stayed with you for all of that time if you were as horrible as you’re making yourself out to be?”

Trevor hummed in thought and glanced down, unsure how to respond. Sypha looked down at the baby on Trevor’s chest and smiled again.

“You know, when Sonia was still in my belly, Alucard let me read some of his mother’s research on child development,” Sypha started. “When Dr. Tepes was still alive, she cared for quite a few pregnant women. After their babies were born, she would care for both mother and child, making sure they were safe and healthy. But there was one thing she wrote about that really stood out to me, and it wasn’t even related to medical care. Do you know what she discovered?”

Sypha had Trevor’s attention. “What’s that?”

“Dr. Tepes discovered that babies were very sensitive to the emotions of others. They can sense when someone’s happy, sad, or nervous very easily. And this sensitivity makes babies very good judges of character. They know the difference between a good person and a bad person. Look at our daughter, Trevor.”

Trevor obeyed and he looked at baby Sonia, who was laying comfortably on her father’s chest fast asleep. She looked like the safest baby in the world.

“If what Dr. Tepes wrote is true, if babies can really tell the difference between good and bad, do you think our Sonia would be so comfortable right now?” Sypha asked. “Your past doesn’t define you, Trevor. Your past doesn’t define the kind of person you are. You were in so much pain when I met you. You were sad all the time. And you wanted that sadness to go away. When people are so desperate to get rid of that pain, they do bad things. But that doesn’t mean they are bad people. You have always been a good man, Trevor Belmont. You’re a good man who has been through horrible things. Now you have a daughter who adores you and feels safe with you. And you also have me. Never doubt that you’re deserving of happiness because of your past.”

In spite of himself, Trevor felt a few tears prickle in his eyes when Sypha finished speaking. He took his free hand to wipe them away.

“Shit, Sypha, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep talking like that,” Trevor sniffed. “You’ve always had such a way with words.”

“Well that tends to happen when you’re raised as a Speaker,” Sypha replied with a yawn as she nuzzled back into Trevor’s side. “I’m sleepy now. And like Sonia, I also feel safe when I snuggle against you. So you’re going to be my pillow tonight, ok?”

Trevor chuckled and wrapped his free arm around Sypha, bringing him closer to her. “Anything you want, Sypha. Thank you for… everything. Thank you for what you said. I don’t say this enough, but I’m thankful that we found each other when we did. I love you.”

“Mmm, love you too.” Sypha mumbled as she made herself comfortable on Trevor and fell asleep.

Trevor sat still and smiled. His wife and daughter, the two most important people in his life, were cuddled against him. Years ago, he never would have imagined himself in a place like this, sitting by the fireplace with his loving family around him. But maybe Sypha was right; maybe he was deserving of happiness. Maybe he was a good man. Trevor thought that it would still take time to fully convince himself of this, but for tonight, he decided to take Sypha’s words to heart. And those positive thoughts and the overall serenity of the night eventually lulled him to sleep as well.

*

End Notes:  In my opinion, Netflix Castlevania portrays mental health realistically. The way Trevor's trauma and depression are depicted is amazing. I love exploring Trevor as a character. When we first meet him he comes across as a total asshole, but he had such severe PTSD and depression that him being an asshole was just an act in order to protect himself. I can't wait to see if there are any other developments in his character in this final season. Hope you enjoyed :)

[keyofjetwolf]

We’re All Just Guys

Well it took the entire fucking season, but I FINALLY get the purpose for Henry Fondle: Sex Robot. And while the entire episode (and season, honestly) has been tremendous, that this ridiculous fucking punchline was the vehicle to deliver the overarching point with a solid knockout punch of meaning AND pathos? Absolutely floored. That BoJack Horseman can be (and often is) brilliant isn’t a surprise, but the ways is keeps proving it often are.

So “The Stopped Show”, a tale of accountability and responsibility and how we’re all just guys.

Each of our main characters closes out this season alone (sort of), in assorted stages of realizing the main themes, or completely failing to. I find Diane’s arc the hardest for me to make a decision on, which isn’t surprising, as I think in many ways, Diane’s the most complicated character in the show. She delivers, directly and succinctly, one of the major points of not just this season but the entire show, but how does it relate to her? I’M NOT COMPLETELY SURE. I think part of the problem with (and for) Diane is that she knows better. She’s the most insightful character, she has a fantastic head on her shoulders, but only for everyone else. She’s this fucked up little disaster prophet, her vision clear and her message concise, unable to ever apply her gifts to fix herself.

Diane is just as trapped as BoJack, but in a fun twist, is now lagging behind him in trying to do something about it. Nearly every single scene with Diane this season has been in this sad little room of her sad little apartment with all her sad little unpacked boxes, and no matter how much truth and wisdom she spits out, HERE SHE STILL IS, failing to correctly assemble IKEA furniture with names like Bȧcksleid. She already feels like shit for sleeping with Mr. Peanutbutter, so what does she do? THE SAME FUCKING THING. To which I groan and roll my eyes, while simultaneously being proud of her for directly and immediately setting him straight about not getting back together. Diane rides this constant line where she gets it but also doesn’t, which is so interesting to me in the level of additional frustration this makes me feel. BoJack is so self-absorbed you don’t really expect any better of him, which has the flip side of your expectations being so low that even the whiff of progress feels exceptional. Diane doesn’t come with any of that though, she knows better, you KNOW she knows better, and the consequence of this for the audience is that she winds up being more unlikeable than the guy who literally last episode nearly strangled his girlfriend and co-star in the middle of a paranoid drug-induced frenzy.

Which is fucked up! It’s intensely fucked up! And also, I think, the point! We expect more of Diane, and so feel more disappointed when she doesn’t deliver. Is that fair of us?

But there’s more here, as we pivot to the accountability portion of this episode/season. From the beginning of the show, it’s been incredibly upfront about how everything is unfair. We come back to this time and again. Privilege rules the day in the world of Hollywoo. Fame, money, charisma, gender, power. BoJack has been an asshole from pretty much the moment he set foot in the spotlight (possibly before?), and the only thing ever even attempting to hold him back has been the moments his guilt manages to scream loud enough to be heard over his internal narrative. Whatever he does, however he fucks up, he always stumbles back to his feet, and NEVER with any (broad scale) consequences. Meanwhile, here’s Diane, in her sad shitty apartment. Consequences haunt Diane, even if she’s the one doing the haunting. The crap things she’s done and the shitty choices she’s made cling to her.

There’s no fairness in that either, no justice. But Hollywoo (and the entire world around it) (and our world too oh yes) has that privilege carved into its bones, and Diane bears none of its marks. Her situation is very different from but parallel to Gina, who is just so fucked over, it keeps legitimately making me angry for her.

Gina, of course, brought none of this on herself. She made the mistake of caring about BoJack and trying to help him. OOPS YOU WERE A GENEROUS PERSON WITH AN OPEN HEART FUCK YOU LADY. For her trouble, Gina has been assaulted and traumatized, AND she is in very real danger of her career being over when it’s only just finally beginning. And she KNOWS THIS. That’s the part that I keep coming back to. All this should be an aberration, an anomaly, and while that may be true of the specifics, conceptually, it’s so commonplace that Gina already knows how it’s going to play. She’ll stop being Gina and become The Woman Nearly Strangled To Death By BoJack Horseman. Even if she’s able to keep working, this is what she’ll be asked about in every interview forever. Even if she convinced people to genuinely listen to her, BoJack would, at worst, get a slap on the wrist as he stumbles back to his feet. We know that, WE ALL KNOW THAT, because it happens all. the. fucking. time. Gina did nothing wrong, but this would still define her for the rest of her life, while for BoJack, it would maybe become a footnote on his Wikipedia page.

Nothing about that is FAIR. Nothing about it is JUST. Gina’s choices shouldn’t have to be “this becomes my entire life” or “swallow this down and pretend it never happened”. But it is, as it has been in perpetuity for the victims of the privileged.

So then what can we do about it? Well that’s really the question, isn’t it? This episode answers it in an assortment of ways (I think the entire SHOW is very much about this, really, but this episode is for sure coming with guns blazing), while also showing us why none of those answers can work. It’s funny and sad and awful and true, but also, ultimately, the most hopeful answer because it’s the only one you can actually affect: It’s you. It’s me. It’s each and every one of us, individually, making a choice to be better.

And believe it or not, we embody this with Henry Fondle: Sex Robot.

I thought the whole thing was so unbelievably stupid. Half the season, we’ve had this goddamn multi-dildo’d juvenile frat boy joke running around with its stupid ass Speak-and-Say voice, doing the same shtick over and over, and I’m like, “okay this is just the shit I have to put up with to get the clever stuff, I guess.” BUT THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT I’M SITTING THERE LIVING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN POINT AND MISSING IT. Henry Fondle: Sex Robot is seventeen shades of overt horribleness, AND WE ALL JUST GIVE IT A PASS. It’s just the way it is, the way the world works, the price of doing business. When the whole time -- THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME -- all it took was one person to say no. One person who could see the game we all are playing and was willing to give up everything to stop it.

Hilariously, Henry Fondle IS a metaphor, sort of, but of the saddest kind. He is literally a robot, he can’t possibly change. What’s more, media fervor will never affect him, fallout will never touch him, and the powerful will always rally around themselves to retain their power. It takes Todd, the head of the company, the creator of Henry Fondle, and the one person who would benefit most from the unending efforts of the rest of the world bending over backwards to avoid the truth, to put a stop to it. In doing so, he immediately returns to his old, homeless, destitute self, but doesn’t once hesitate or look back.

It’s Todd, and only Todd, that stops that madness, because while individual people are a problem, the world at large is too. Stefani makes a great point that Diane holds herself and everyone else to impossible standards and a little forgiveness and grace wouldn’t go amiss, but when Diane suggests they apply that philosophy to their clickbait gossipy shit on their website, it’s just

Which again, is beautifully cynical and depressing, but not untrue. Fostering a more forgiving culture isn’t in stopping websites from posting clickbaity takedown articles, it’s each person deciding not to take the clickbait. We can absolutely have a conversation about the people creating their world or the world creating its people, but when you boil it down, only one of those things can you yourself absolutely and directly change, and it’s not the entire world.

A THING DIANE GETS BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT.

I can’t take myself away from this Diane thing, I know, but only because she’s the fucking CORE of each and every one of us struggling with this idea. She’s the simplicity of it and the complication all in one. Not BoJack, which is NOT where I thought we’d be when we started this journey. BoJack is more an action on the people around him at this point in the story, he IS the world you cannot change. He’s pointed to rehab, and off he goes -- or doesn’t! I don’t think it’s coincidence that we stay with Diane and watch her watching him.

Oh, Diane, indeed. As she tells her story of her friend Abby, who threw her over for the cool kids, who turned every confidence into a scar. Who Diane still helped anyway, because Abby needed her. Did Abby learn from that, did she get better? We don’t know; we stay with Diane and watch her watching Abby. Diane, who can so completely understand about personal responsibility while failing to recognize her own enabling for the shitty things that keep happening to her.

You can control yourself. That’s it. That’s the only playground with a guarantee.

Will BoJack go off to learn that? Will Diane stay and figure it out?

THAT’S WHAT NEXT SEASON IS FOR

Something I was toying with including in this, but ultimately decided against for a variety of reasons, was the contrast between BoJack’s take on personal responsibility independent of external response, and The Good Place’s argument that people need external support for personal growth. An idea I may not have even considered contrasting save that Doc’s talked before about these two Jewish creators with what are clearly very different philosophies, and basically, if she were ever able to manage a discussion between them on this, I’d love to be in the room. I’ll be very quiet and not get in the way, I promise.

[reachgirl]

So..

Maddie had to basically raise and care for her brother when she was pretty young (from what we can gather), she was in an abusive relationship where her husband  cut her off from family and friends, then when she finally managed to leave him he came back to stalk and kidnap her and stab her boyfriend, and she had to kill him. Then she was held hostage at the call center. 

Buck had a difficult childhood (I think we’re safe to assume this much), then his sister left and it was obviously a big deal to him - and when she found him again she was almost killed by her abusive ex, he almost drowned and almost lost his friend’s son in a tsunami, had his leg crushed by a fire truck, had a pulmonary embolism, lost his job and his friends, his girlfriend left him because she couldn’t deal with the job, his other ex girlfriend used him as an emotional support crutch and then abandoned him without even giving him a clean break, his psychologist used her position of trust so she could sleep with him. Oh and his best friend / guy he’s clearly in love with was almost buried alive and.. it was never addressed again.

Athena’s fiancé was killed, she was almost killed by a serial killer, and her daughter almost killed herself, then she was kidnapped and almost killed again. 

Bobby’s wife and children died tragically in a fire that he blames himself for. 

Chim had an abusive dad, a mom who died when he was a teenager, he was bullied, his best friend sacrificed himself on a call and Chim was there to see it all, then he had a traumatic brain injury after a near-fatal car accident and his girlfriend left him right after, oh and he was catfished and stabbed by his girlfriend’s abusive ex-husband who then kidnapped her, and then she was kidnapped again at her place of work!

Eddie’s helicopter was shot down and his friend died, his son had to have multiple operations while he was away, his parents tried to take his son away from him, then his wife left him, twice, and then died in his arms. Then he was almost buried alive. 

Hen was bullied, her relationship with her ex put her child’s safety in jeopardy, and she inadvertently caused a young girl’s death, oh and she almost died in the earthquake.

And most of the issues I listed don’t even include the stuff that happens to them on a day-to-day basis. Or any of the stuff that happened to Michael, Josh, Karen, Chris, May or Harry.

Now obviously, you could do a show that actually dives into the trauma of emergency responders, but that would be a very different tone. There’s always the question of how realistic can these shows really be in 45 minutes and still give us these crazy rescue scenarios (Tsunami?? Mudslide? Plane Crash? Check) AND emotional development each episode. Realistically, the 118 wouldn’t be the ones - or at least not the only ones - called in to save people on a failed water landing / plane crash in the ocean. Their area of operation wouldn’t span from the coastline doing abseiling rescues to trying to run down a hot air balloon to bank robberies to train crashes in the middle of nowhere.

So we also can’t expect them to be completely faithful to actual trauma psychology, because that would most probably make for boring TV, but even if it didn’t, it just COULDN’T be the show we love so much. They do give it some space, like showing Christopher dealing with nightmares, acknowledging the slower pacing of Madney’s relationship because of her past experiences, Bobby’s unwillingness to forgive himself, Eddie’s anger management issues and poor coping skills in general, Buck not giving himself time to heal properly because of his need to be defined by helping people so he can feel ‘worthy’, and some characters even get to go and see a psychologist - with mixed results, that also aren’t properly followed up on, and when Eddie says he didn’t click with the psychologist that’s seemingly also the end of him dealing with his anger issues. A lot of the time, the show acknowledges mental wellbeing once, and then drops it completely - like Buck’s abandonment issues being dealt with only as a set up for Abby to come back. Lone Star does a little better with Judd’s trauma from his entire team dying in front of him, and his survivor’s guilt, and how that affects his relationship. 

BUT season 3 of 911 actually laid some good ground work with Eddie Begins, with Athena unsure of whether she will get back to work, with Hen considering changing careers, and Maddie and Chim’s relationship playing out the way it did. I really hope that a lot of the events in season 4 - the baby and the anxiety that comes with that (especially if you have shitty parents), May starting work as a 9-1-1 operator, Eddie and Buck going to Texas, Buck Begins, will circle back to some of these traumatic experiences and give them more room to breathe along with the new stuff that will inevitably come up. I mean we already know there’s going to be a freaking mudslide and LAVA and wildfires, so.

Maybe one of the reasons we love fanfiction is because it gives you room to explore a facet of the characters or their lives that isn’t given much room in the canon, maybe because it doesn’t fit the tone of the show or the writers are focusing somewhere else. I think it’s also the reason why buddie is so popular while actual canon ships are less so - it’s the same in a lot of fandoms. You’ll always have more fanfiction about the stuff you don’t get to explore on screen - the other relationships you already get to see played out, so it doesn’t feel as necessary to write about. So in fanfiction, we can give the characters space to breathe and deal with everything, and we can be realistic in how a new emergency doesn’t erase the trauma of past experiences, and how LONG it would actually take to deal with some of these issues in real life. There are SO many fanfiction out there in the 9-1-1 AO3 tag that do this so well, and that have a really good handle on how these characters would or could still be affected by this stuff, whether it’s panic attacks or nightmares or unhealthy coping mechanisms or emotional hang ups like guilt and feelings of inadequacy.(I think this is the reason why I tend to not like fanfiction that puts a heavy emphasis on headcanon for more trauma like kidnappings or abuse or childood trauma. There’s already so much stuff we have seen in the show, and in the hints we get about Buck’s childhood for example, I don’t need insult added to injury so to speak. But to each their own, obviously.) And I think that’s really cool and something we should talk about and seek out and write about, because it’s a huge reason why we care about these characters so much. And we should also continue to hold the show to a standard of not erasing the trauma, and give it space even when we’re realistic about how much space it can have in the kind of show 9-1-1 is. 

So I guess that’s a long way of saying I’m excited it seems that season 4 will focus a lot more in depth on character and dealing with all the stuff I listed above. And I can’t wait to see where Buck’s abandonment issues come from, or how Eddie and Buck could bond over having shitty parents. 

[setsuntamew]

So, Persona 5 Royal, huh?

Full disclosure: I had gotten about halfway through November on Wednesday and finished it out Saturday night, which took uhhh about 65-70 hours? Some of that was sitting there waiting for the PS4 controller to recharge or listening to music in the Thieves Den while eating, but I still feel like I need to own up to how extremely bad I am at making good decisions with my life XD

MOVING ON, THOUGH, HOLY SHIT. P5 was a very good game, but Royal’s additions & changes made it incredible. I like the ending way more; I think it’s more emotionally fulfilling and meaningful, especially with everyone’s more defined future plans. Definitely felt like everyone had more growth in the end!! Which is something I’d always thought P5 was lacking.

Snip snip for spoilers and the fact that this post ended up being too damn long, oops! the last third is basically Akechi feels and analyzing his ending, so......yeah XD

Part of why I plowed through SO much of Royal in so little time is....Akechi XD Like okay, this is my stupid fandom blog, I can be excited about him all I want!!! I got to Sae’s Palace and just....I couldn’t put it down. @dragonofeternal​ and I ordered an embarrassing amount of takeout instead of cooking because we just had to see how everything with Maruki and the third semester was gonna go down. I’d already been dying along the way because Akechi’s confidant dates are so good, I just. Fuck!!!

Also, look, for the entirity of Shido’s boss fight and the depths of Mementos/Yaldabaoth/etc, we’d look at each other every few minutes and just be like AKECHI SHOULD BE HERE WITH US, HE DESERVES TO GET HIS VENGEANCE ON HIS SHITTY DAD AND FORCED DESTINY!!!!!

December 24th had to be the longest god damn day in Akira’s life because like. Final exam grades are posted in the morning! He goes to school and then dives into hell, crawls his way back out, briefly dies by fading from human cognition, fights an actual fucking god, and then....ends up dissociating in Shibuya until Sae shows up and is like “oh hey thanks for everything you did, please sign up for being arrested now.” And while he’s still reeling from that, Akechi walks up to take his place, like some kind of bullshit knight in shining armor schtick, and leaves no room for conversation.

AND THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A DATE

I romanced Hifumi this time around, because I wanted Akria to bang a girl who is just so incredibly out of his league, but....it’s not necessarily that I forgot I was dating someone, more that it had been *so many hours of plot* that I was emotionally exhausted. Like, Hifumi texted me and I was just like. Right. RIGHT. It’s still Christmas Eve, somehow. I was at *school* this morning. The whole world merged with Mementos briefly in the middle of this, Akechi is somehow alive, and I guess I’m going on a date now????

I do appreciate how many “god I’m just dissociating my way through this” conversation options there were for the date, tbh. I feel bad though, I really like Hifumi, but I feel like Akira is not giving a date his full emotional attention at that specific time. It feels a bit like emotional whiplash, more so than I remember it being in P5? Maybe it’s because I played it 4 years ago and there wasn’t the added emotional weight of Akechi’s reappearance, but it was just like....a lot, in Royal.

AND THEN THE NEW YEAR HAPPENED. I’d been spoiled on large parts of the third semester, mostly because Royal’s been out for a year already and I’m too curious for my own good. I’d also somehow lied to myself, saying I didn’t have time to play another Persona game right now, and yet here I am, 171 hours of game play within exactly a month, kicking myself for not knowing how deep in Persona hell I would get XD

Which is to say, as soon as the new year started, it felt I was drowning in anxiety. I knew something was wrong, I knew they were in a false reality, but knowing that sure as fuck didn’t make it easier to go through. If anything, it was somehow worse, knowing that it was all gonna come crumbling down, but I didn’t yet know the exact details, only the broad strokes of it. Just. Every time someone talked about something that was wrong, my heart would clench.

God, I’m so fucking tired, I pulled an all-nighter on Friday so I could get through Royal before having to work on Sunday, and I am feeling it right now. Life tips: don’t do what I do XD

Every moment with Akechi felt like borrowed time, at least for me, because I knew what was coming. I spent so much time in Mementos with him; I ended up putting just him and Akira in my party and plowing through everything, including trouncing the Reaper over and over just for the hell of it. I got his ultimate weapons, I spent so many nights in the jazz club with him that he ran out of dialogue options, and I still took him back for more. I accidentally failed to EVER trigger Sumire’s Showtime because every fight was just Akira and Akechi against the world, because fuck it, I’m playing this for fun!! If I want to play with them in stupid costumes and no one else in the party, I’m gonna. Royal did such an incredible job giving Akechi more depth and development: it was all I could hope for, and it made it that much fucking worse to know what was in store for him.

Somehow, I thought it would be harder for me to make the decision to refuse Maruki’s deal, since fuck, fuck what I wouldn’t give for Akechi to be alive???? But I barely hesitated, only really stopping because I had to emotionally brace myself for it, because a reality where he can’t carve out his own fate would be a disrespect to everything their relationship is built on.

I have a whole shit ton of feelings about post-beating Maruki but they’re basically all Akechi related meta so somehow they ended up at the end of this post, I’m sorry XD

I understand that they had to keep the going to jail bit because 1) Akechi didn’t turn himself in, Akira did and 2) it leads to the final events of the game, but let me just say....the emotional roller coaster of fighting Maruki, almost failing multiple times, waking up in jail, the Phantom Thieves & friends getting Akira out of jail, celebrating that, and then getting thrown into Valentines Day was a LOT for my heart to take. Once again, didn’t forget I had a girlfriend, just got too invested in the plot to really be thinking about her. It’s less than two weeks after the fight with Maruki and somehow, everything is supposed to be okay????

The scene with everyone talking about their future plans is such good character growth, though. Everyone feels like they’ve truly grown and are making decisions that, even though they might be painful or hard at times, are ultimately very important to them. It’s a really good contrast to the “almost everyone goes to Shujin and they all stay in Tokyo forever without doing anything for themselves” Maruki’s perfect reality bad end.

Standing in the Underground Mall on White Day, being told I had to get flowers but finally being able to have control of Akira again was....so bittersweet. The fact that the location of the date is the aquarium is a low fucking blow, and I almost threw the controller across the room I was so upset. Like. THE AQUARIUM IS UNLOCKED BECAUSE AKECHI HAS TICKETS HOW FUCKING DARE SOJIRO SUGGEST IT LIKE MY HEART ISN’T STILL ACHING????? God, speaking of that: The fucking god damn Featherman video game tore my heart out because I ended up playing it WHILE WORKING ON SHIDO’S PALACE and I cried a ton about Gray Pigeon because of course they had to dig the emotional knife in even deeper!! Just fuck me up, it’s fine, I’m just dying!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up scrolling through his texts to find the group chats that still had Akechi in them, and fuck, it was a LOT. Like. Maybe it’s because I’m too invested in the two of them, but it was probably the worst emotional whiplash of the whole game. Like, how am I supposed to go play happy with anyone while staring at texts from a reality built of lies? It wasn’t real but the proof lives on in his phone and his heart, and I’m still fucked up over it.

HOWEVER. FUCKING. I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR BEING EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ABOUT ALL THIS AND THEN DISCOVERED THE BASTARD STILL HAD ALL HIS EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE MALE ARMOR!!! He returned his shit after Sae’s Palace even though he thought Akira was dead, but this time it didn’t get fucking returned to my inventory, so he must have fucking run off with all his shit!!!!!!! Why the hell did none of it get returned if he was never alive in the true reality? Like I know it'll be returned for a new game+ but I like to nitpick game mechanics for story reasons, because one of the things I love most about video games is the experience of them as another layer to the story. The texts from the third semester shouldn’t exist anymore, since they never really existed, but there they are. Akechi insisted that he has a gap in his memory after Shido’s Palace up until seeing Akira on Christmas Eve, but who can say that wasn’t related to Maruki tampering with reality or some other Persona-related reason?

I mean. I got the full and complete True Ending; I saw him in the train station. If that’s not Akechi, then who the fuck is it? Atlus made sure to put the work in to make him a part of not just the main story but also, especially, the third semester, and for what....to have his final time on screen be as the butt of the joke, squished underneath everyone in the Mona-copter? As much as it hurts, his end in Shido’s Palace matters; it fits his character and he gets to go out fighting- carving his own path, really. In Royal, barring the tiny glimpse of someone who’s probably him in the train station, the last we see of him is when he watches Joker let go of the rope to finish off Maruki. I know we got the heart to heart where Akira agrees to reject Maruki’s deal and Akechi insists that he’d rather be dead than live in a false reality, but.....no one even says goodbye to him. It’s tragic, it’s painfully lonely, but it doesn’t feel right for such a major character.

Also, as undignified as it is, for the first time ever, Akechi looks like he actually belongs in the Phantom Thieves in that final moment. He’s never been the butt of their jokes before; they always kept him at arms’ reach and he took himself too seriously to be included, but for that brief moment, it really felt like he was part of their group. He stopped lying about himself for their last month together, and so even if they don’t all like him, they can make that decision based on the truth, instead of layers of lies. His death is all the more tragic for this; a life cut short just when he’s finally finding a place he belongs. But his death was already painful; why make it so, so much worse?

Final thing: I’m gonna be spending a ton of time in the Thieves Den trying to find Akechi’s opinions on everything, but also....hey. HEY. What do those six stars that Jose (probably?) painted on the wall mean? Is it just a reference to Persona 6???? LIKE????? I HAVE QUESTIONS. SO, SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, I’ve gotta go cry into my Starbucks and desperately try to focus on actually doing my job at work, but I loved Royal deeply and cannot wait to drown in it ;w;

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I posted 1,237 times in 2021

725 posts created (59%)

512 posts reblogged (41%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.7 posts.

I added 43 tags in 2021

#story ask - 14 posts

#ask game - 12 posts

#my story - 4 posts

#this is a joke - 3 posts

#idk why but i feel this - 2 posts

#this is sending me - 2 posts

#ask gane - 2 posts

#❤️👉😩 - 2 posts

#she goes by they them - 1 posts

#what the fuck? - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#basically if you see people as objects that you can do whatever you want to and discard when you want then i hate you

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

So let me get this straight: you're fine with piss fetishes, diaper fetishes, puppy play, people watching drawn child porn, daddy/mommy fetishes, people slapping and choking their partners, age regression kinks, r*pe kinks, and all this other shit but you draw the line at me having a "genital preference"?

866 notes • Posted 2021-10-12 20:06:35 GMT

#4

It boggles my mind how everyone knows that racial dysphoria is the result of a racist society and yet there are people who think that gender dysphoria isn't the result of a sexist society.

When I was a child, I struggled greatly with the fact I was black. I hated it. So much so that eventually my mother snapped at me and basically told me I'm black whether I like it or not. So much so that I actively wished to be white. I was envious of the white children in my class with their gorgeous eyes and different hair colors. I felt like I fit in with them so much more than I ever did with the black kids and looking at the friend groups I formed, you'd be able to tell. I felt like black kids were much meaner than I was and white kids were more soft spoken and more relatable. I would ask kids if I could pass as half-white or light skinned and was so disappointed whenever I would receive a "no". I hated it when people pointed out that I was black because it felt like something I desperately wanted to hide but couldn't no matter what. All my favorite characters were white. All the people I looked up to where white. It was never ending.

Reading this you're probably thinking that this is the result of shitty media representation and stereotypes and racism. You're probably not thinking "oh, that's a clear sign that you were meant to be born white!". Nope, you're probably thinking that my feelings were the result of the terrible way that society treats black people.

Now here's the real kicker: I didn't just want to be white, I specifically wanted to be a white boy. I loved the way boys were effortlessly masculine and athletic. They could build muscle easier and had the perfect physique in my eyes--completely flat, short hair, and more defined muscle. It made me uncomfortable to be viewed as a girl. I didn't like the way my dad made me cover up whenever I went somewhere and didn't do the same for my brother. I didn't like the way my breasts were something I had to be aware of and hide. I didn't like how my body grew. Didn't like getting my period and having to deal with it. I wanted everything my male counterparts had: the deep voice, the masculine clothes, no breasts, attention from girls, I even wanted an Adam's apple at one point. I would get so happy whenever people thought I was a boy. For a while, I was that girl who only hung out with boys because I related to them more.

Looking back on it, this was a the result of shitty media representation and stereotypes and sexism. There was no representation of the type of woman I wanted to be on TV. There's the stereotype that all women are interested in feminine activities and presentation. The aforementioned are a result of sexism. It was also because I was a masculine lesbian and I don't need to explain that our society is homophobic--especially towards gnc gay people and ESPECIALLY towards butch lesbians.

And yet there are some people who think that this means I must be a man. I must've been born wrong. They don't think that this is the result of a sexist and homophobic society even though I was born a woman in the same way I was born black. Where is the logic in this?

917 notes • Posted 2021-08-06 16:38:03 GMT

#3

I don't know how to tell y'all this but it's actually stereotypically homophobic to hear a gay man say "I like dick" and become so enraged that you start berating him and calling him names. That's not new. That's how straight people have always treated gay men. Like, I'm sorry but a gay man expressing his same sex desire and then immediately being bullied and met with threats and people telling him that he needs to like pussy is literally just old school homophobia.

963 notes • Posted 2021-10-14 20:22:37 GMT

#2

Idk how to tell y'all this but looking at a woman who isn't stereotypically feminine and thinking she must be nonbinary or she wants to be a man is not progressive at all and is actually sexist af

1372 notes • Posted 2021-08-09 17:03:18 GMT

#1

"You really think someone would spend years and thousands of dollars just to be a pervert?"

Yes.

Literally yes.

I don't think you guys realize just how far perverts are willing to go. In fact, I'd argue that you have to be a certain level of dedicated to be considered a pervert and not just a creep or weirdo.

People will go through years of schooling to become a teacher or a doctor or a gyno just to put it all on the line in order to fuck around with their students or their patients.

An expensive ass education and years of their time just to lose all of it because they're perverse. I'm being kind here though because a lot of them don't just randomly decide to put their career on the line, oh no, some of these people choose to enter a field because of their perversion. They're so dedicated to imposing their evil on others that they'll choose a field that brings them closer to doing just that.

Switching gears to a different but related example:

It's well known that abusers in a relationship will often not show their true colors until their victim believes they're secure and that security is often marriage. Do you know how much you have to dedicate to a relationship in order to get someone to marry you? Do you know how expensive a wedding is? All of that dedication and money just so they can have a victim that can't easily leave their grasp.

Time and money is NOT a factor for truly evil people, y'all just give too much benefit of the doubt.

1407 notes • Posted 2021-09-16 06:09:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: of justice and catalysis

Author: hajimehinataisnothim / @whatsupscythia (AmericanFrankenstein)

For: @coockiedrop

Pairings/Characters: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime, Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro, Ishimaru Kiyotaka (mentioned)

Rating/Warnings: T

Prompt: Secret identities (Maybe one of them being a vigilante and other being a cop?)

Author’s notes: One of the prompts was secret identities and I fell in love. I don’t know how the Japanese police systems work, I just know they have some heavy corruption issues but honestly what police don’t? Another point; do you know how hard it was to write this without using Nagito’s name? Also Hinata says ACAB.

You can also read it directly on Ao3

The streets of Tokyo were boring.

Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true, Hinata supposed. He took a bite from the donut in his hand, absentminded. Because he wasn’t a slob it was wrapped in a napkin, the other hand clutching bitter black coffee.

The streets themselves were pristine, the trees lush with pink blossoms with petals that swirled into the air at the faintest breeze, and even the nights were tenuous work at their worst. The problem was that his mind often drifted to more exciting work in the field: chasing down criminals, precisely anticipating where gang warfare was likely to occur, and conducting behavioral analysis to catch a killer.

It was a shame, then, that he had never been good at any of those.

No, Hinata Hajime was a rookie in a sleepy prefecture in the middle of a spring afternoon. It wasn’t his first day on the job but the routine was solidified and unchanging. When school let out he would meander to the crosswalk and usher the traffic across, and when there was a storm he would patrol the bridges to see if the water overflowed. Crime was contained to a multitude of domestic affairs and drunken insults. Nothing worth serious dedication or dignity.

Still, a deep undefinable part of him could not help but crave excitement. It was why he had joined the police academy a year ago. The idea of cutting off a bank robbery, of saving someone’s life when they needed him most was riveting. It gave spark to his step and a smile to his face. To be the hero, the protagonist, to save the day at its darkest hour.

But how could he do that when the world was perfect?

“Check your ten, Hinata.”

He was still being shadowed by their squad leader Ikusaba Mukuro. As a rookie, he still had a lot to learn. Mukuro was the best of the best. She had risen through the ranks faster than any woman before her, breaking barriers along the way. Her uniform was always perfectly pressed, her stance steady and balanced, and her eyes cold as steel. While she was slim, she was also pure muscle. Rumors circulated that before she returned to Japan she had been part of a militia in the Middle East.

Hajime couldn’t help but be intimidated by her.

“Sorry, Ikusaba-san.”

It took him a moment to remember where ten’s hand on the clock face was (even though he could have mirrored Ikusaba’s gaze had he thought for one second). When Hajime had worked it out, he peered across the street to see a man shuffling down the sidewalk. In many instances he was normal, if not strange, with one exception:

He was wearing a gas mask.

“Is that normal?” Ikusaba turned to face him and he withered beneath her cold gaze. “Right. I’ll go check on him.”

(What an annoyance.)

He placed his breakfast atop the wall he had been leaning on beneath the bushes. It was unlikely this would take long, but he didn’t want a cat to run away with his food or a thousand other trivial annoyances that would make the day worse. Hajime found it wasn’t the hard grind that defined the day, but the moment-to-moment interaction that solidified the result.

Today was shaping up poorly.

He headed to the crosswalk to cross the road. Ikusaba’s eyes had to still be on him, and the last thing he wanted was to disappoint her. This didn’t appear to be the time for jaywalking. It was likely a kid cosplaying or being edgy for the day, they’d get a talking to, and that would be it.

While he was moving, he kept his focus on whom Ikusaba had pointed out. The man stumbled and shuffled, not to the point of obvious drunkenness. It was a pattern of uncaring aloofness, how he floated and swayed as he moved, entirely uncaring. Hajime took note of the scuff marks branding his formerly-expensive name-brand shoes.

(Is this habitual?)

Whatever. He didn’t care.

His focused target hesitated at the outskirt of the wall, lingering one moment with his long jacket brushing the concrete. His hair was wild and completely white, too similar to how bleach left fabric to be real. His hands were swept into his jacket pockets, blending his arms into the folds of the fabric. All of his mannerisms were unkempt, careless. Odd.

When he ducked into the alleyway, Hajime didn’t hesitate to follow.

He didn’t often find himself in the sidestreets of his prefecture. In contrast to the sunny disposition of the main roads, the offshoots were cramped and cluttered, bins set aside on the street. It was muddy between the tile outline of a path that the stranger continued to trod down, into darker yet darker regions. The standing water from the previous nights’ rain splashed against Hinata’s tight-laced boots, staining them with dirt. Another annoyance added to the list on a shitty day.

Finally, the dirt path gave way to a concrete flooring behind an equally filthy restaurant. Hajime had seen the establishment often on his patrols; the food was excellent and the service was terrible. He didn’t visit often. The walls were coated with posters, promotions, and sports of graffiti he didn’t have time to give attention. Instead, his focus was drawn to the four foot stack of something shoved onto a pallet covered in a gray tarp. His target had stopped in front of it, his foot tapping idly.

Hajime reached for his radio, his hand hovering over his belt.

Then the man turned around, drew a gloved hand from his pocket, and waved.

Hajime looked behind him. No one else had entered the alley.

(Is this some kind of signal?)

He looked back.

The stranger was inches from Hajime’s face, tilting his head to the left.

“Oh good, you’re here! You’ve been following for a while. Join me.”

Hajime jumped back and fell backwards, down onto the concrete.

“You’re under arrest!” He barked out even though his back stung. It was the first thing that came to mind, unfortunately for his pride.

The man laughed. Whether it was his remark or the fall that elicited it, Hajime couldn’t tell. What he could tell now that he was up close was that the mask was a custom creation. While his voice would usually be muffled with a mask in the way, this one had small speakers built into the side. It was also actively distorting his voice.

“For what? I haven’t even committed a crime yet. What would you even arrest me for?” He took another step closer.

“Yet?” (Was this person stupid? Dangerous? Dangerously stupid?) “ That’s not how this works! At the very least this is suspicious activity!”

“So you’ll arrest me from the ground? I guess they don’t make them like they used to. Officer Ishimaru gave me a rundown yesterday.”

Hinata overlooked the fact that apparently this twig of a man outran Kiyotaka for the time being. “I’m a rookie. This isn’t my forte. What are you doing here?”

Instead of answering, the stranger knelt down and offered a hand.

Hajime hesitated, then took it.

His target was oddly strong, pulling him up on one solid motion. It brought a heat to his face that he couldn’t quite place as he steadied his feet on the ground.

He kept their hands clasped for a moment longer than necessary, then pulled away and let go.

(Oh well, more to over-analyze when I’m trying to sleep tonight. He’s talking again.)

“What’s your name?”

“Hinata Hajime.”

“Well Officer Hinata, I’m sorry, but I can’t come with you. I’m preoccupied.“ He swept his same right hand to the side, gesturing to the tarp while keeping the left in his pocket.

“I—You answer my questions! What is this for!?” He could feel his face growing flustered in frustration. The sheer inanity of it all was getting to him.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s a bomb.”

(. . . a bomb. A bomb? An explosive bomb!?)

“A bomb!?”

The man rolled his eyes under the mask. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“This isn’t dramatic at all! Thank you, because now I know what I’m arresting you for. Domestic terrorism!”

He was ignored yet again.

“Do you know where we are?”

Hajime blinked.

(What?)

“No? Well, I guess I could tell you. We’re back behind the main bridge. This alleyway is a dead-end junk heap beside the intersection.”

“What does this have to do with—”

“Don’t interrupt.”

Hajime’s jaw dropped. It did little to affect the man in the mask.

“This bridge is essential for the people that use it every day. It’s become a crutch, a reliance. To lose it would be devastating, would it not? Despair-inducing? Imagine what kind of hope that could bring afterwards!”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does! But I understand what you’re thinking. You know, someone as awful, as terrible, as lowly as me can’t possibly make a change. In fact, the only thing beneath me… is you.”

“Me?”

“The police state. The whole system is so thoroughly corrupted, rotten all the way through. Don’t tell me that you don’t see it. Or are you simply not looking? Is that it?”

“I…”

“You doubt my candor? Then let me ask you this: you too crave the abnormal to compensate for your painfully boring, normal existence. Am I right?”

“I—”

“Who knows. I’m probably wrong. Who am I kidding, I’m definitely wrong!”

Hajime whipped out the baton at his side.

(It’s time to make him shut up.)

“Or perhaps there’s more to you than meets the eye.” The man’s tone stayed even. “Do you know what catalysis is, Hinata-kun?”

“We are not friends.”

“That’s harsh, but I understand. I am the scum of the earth, after all. I understand if you wouldn’t want me to explain it, I’m sure someone like you knows all about—”

Hajime’s patience had worn thin. “Go ahead and tell me!”

(Let him talk. Wait him out and Ikusaba will show up. She’ll know what to do.)

The man stilled.

Hinata felt as if he was being smiled at. Dread piled in his stomach—something was awfully wrong.

With a surprising amount of elegance, the criminal began his speech.

“It’s a chemistry term used for describing chemical reactions. Specifically, an increased rate of a reaction with the assistance of a catalyst. However, there is another meaning that often goes unrecognized; dissolution, destruction, and decay. These are all tied to the catalyst, of course, so the catalyst receives the credit. Don’t you think that the environment, the solution, deserves most of the credit?”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I am a catalyst, Hinata Hajime. A sickly symptom of this world. And this is my catalysis.”

(He’s fucking insane.)

The tiredness he had fought off with coffee and unfettered optimism was beginning to set in his bones again.

“I didn’t expect you to understand,” he continued as if he could read Hajime’s thoughts (or perhaps he wore too many emotions on his sleeve; his bulged-out eyes were quite noticeable), “But I have a purpose. You have your ideals and justice, and I have my destruction. I think that makes us alike. One and the same. For you justice is your harbor, your anchor to the ordinary while allowing the hammer of the law to pound down and smooth the unnatural, the strange, the unwanted. And that is what you truly crave, is it not? The unusual? To be different?”

“You don’t know me at all.”

Hajime approached him. At the moment it was none of his concern that he wasn’t supposed to be using weaponry yet. All this talk about catalysts, justice, and destruction was not conducive to a safe, peaceful town.

The man shrugged. “And you don’t know me.”

He pulled his left hand from his jacket and along with it a stainless steel capsule not dissimilar from a water bottle. He tossed it underhanded to the ground towards the policeman.

“Who the hell are you?” Hajime put a foot on the canister, stopping it in place.

(If this is a distraction, it’s a bad one.)

“Finally, he asks! Now you’re making it fun, Hinata-kun!”

The canister spewed smoke into the air. Hajime realized his mistake too late.

“Call me the Ultimate Hope.”

Hinata coughed, waving in front of him to disperse the chemical spray. The baton did little to dissuade the atmosphere that covered him. Upset, he tossed it to the side and stepped forward.

Somewhere, there was a faint click.

It was then he noticed, faintly through the spray, a faint orange light.

At first he was confused.

(A flame?)

His eyes widened.

(A lighter!)

He clawed his way closer, eyes stinging.

(This is what that gas mask was for, wasn’t it?)

He was mentally cursing himself out for not doing anything to stop The Ultimate Hope (?) sooner. Waiting out a madman was a ridiculous idea. All he had to do was get him away from the bomb, and that would be that. He followed like a moth to flame, watching as it dipped and lowered.

Then he heard it.

A hiss.

The cloud in front of him grew darker, and suddenly, a force pushed into Hinata throwing him back. It wasn’t aggressive, it wasn’t an attack, no: the twisted vigilante was on top of him. His hands framed the rookie’s face like a portrait, arms wrapping around his chest and hips at an angle too impractical to attribute to anything but pure, dumb luck.

“I’m not sorry Officer, but I don’t want you getting hurt.” His voice was thick with sarcasm, and Hajime could only imagine the look on his face.

Little did he know he wouldn’t have to imagine for long.

The explosive went off.

The world shook and groaned around them. Fire cascaded up into the air like a signal flare, highlighting his enemy—and savior’s—wild mane of hair like a hellfire halo.

Hajime was staring.

The back of his green jacket was also burning. Before he could speak to address it, the stranger chuckled.

“Oh that? It’s fine.” He patted his back as if it were nothing but a mere botherance. He pushed himself up, unfurling his arms from Hinata’s and drawing his hand up to his face. The metal of the mask jingled.

As he blinked to clear the gas from his eyes, Hajime felt a soft press against his forehead.

(Wait. .  .)

The Ultimate had slipped off the gas mask for a phantom mockery of a kiss.

When he pulled back, Hajime could finally see him.

The stranger was beautiful in the most grotesque of ways. His face was pale and thin, gaunt even, with dark circles beneath irises devoid of any color. His lips were red, cracked as if he were parched, and twisted into the most frightening smile Hinata had ever seen.

He stood up above him and cackled.

(That is not fair.)

His laugh was insane, and Hinata knew that he shouldn’t be feeling breathless for this reason but he couldn’t help it.

He was so caught up in the moment he didn’t notice that the Ultimate Hope had started walking.

The man, who Hinata could not possibly know was one Komaeda Nagito, walked over to the wreckage and chaos before them, threw up a peace sign with his fingers, and fell backward off the broken railing.

Hajime couldn’t help himself. He snapped out of his fever, sitting up immediately upright, then broke into a run to the new hole between the alley and the main road.

There he was, the Ultimate Hope, saved by the trash bags stacked beside the stream. He stood up, brushed himself off, and smiled. Then he slipped the gas mask back on and slunk away, only to turn back once.

Komaeda gave Hajime a short, mocking salute.

A soft, “oh,” escaped Hajime’s lips, but he would never admit it.

He stood in the center of the aftermath, his hat clutched in his hands and his world view thoroughly destroyed along with the bridge.

“Hinata.” It was the first time he’d ever heard Mukuro’s voice trill.

“What? Oh! Right. Right, the bridge.” The bridge was the last thought on his mind at the moment, but Ikusaba was attentive as always. She was behind him. Only now she must have considered this worthy of pursuit.

“Did you get a look at his face?”

Hajime thought of the walk, the wave, and the lighter. He thought of the gas mask, a helping hand up, and the fog screen. He thought about the crazy, rambling speeches and the ghost of his arms pushing Hinata down. He thought of the face of the Ultimate Hope himself.

His ears were bright red with blush.

(To hell with it.)

“No. No, I didn’t.” He lied.

“Did he give his ID? Or did he give a name?” Ikusaba demanded.

Hajime had only one answer.

“He called himself ‘The Ultimate Hope’.”

She crossed her arms.

“I hope we never see him again. For his sake.”

(I hope I do.)

Because for the first time in his entire normal life, Hajime’s heart raced with excitement.

[bisluthq]

hi I’m that RPF anon and first of all thanks for being polite and not completely obliterating on me on sight. I’ve raised this point in the past with other people and t’was a fucking mess, I tell you

In terms of your point, I think I understand where you’re coming from. The whole schtick with celebs purposefully marketing themselves as sexual beings/fantasies and thus, inevitably giving their fanbase the ammunition/material to concoct their fantasies upon. I suppose I’ve never thought of it from a capitalist point of view but it makes much more sense now.

Re the swiftwyn fantasies: idk if I’m being a prude/cupcake but it still seems weird to me. Like, Yh Taylor’s screaming from the rooftops about how she’s getting dicked down on the regular (truly iconic and jealousy inducing in this panoramic if you ask me) but going out of your way to write that up is...not something I completely understand??. But it’s clearly yours (and quite a few people’s) on this blog and given you’re not actively harming anyone, have fun I guess?? It’s confusing to me but so long as the people indulging in it are sane and acknowledge it’s a fantasy (just like any other work of fiction)...no harm done.

But with Joshlie, i do think it’s a bit strange as josh doesn’t market himself as a fantasy? Esp not a sexual one. Like I don’t think it’s fair to say wanting fame = marketing yourself as a sexual being because I don’t think he does that - the two, imo, can be mutually exclusive Also, WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR JOSHUA KUSHNER? pls, like Karlie I get - she’s the smoking hot thirst trap and half of this couple but josh on his own? Nah, he’s just hot by extension/association with Kar sorry not sorry

Now regarding After - I still view After as low-key problematic (the OG books far more than the films) because of how HS was portrayed. He’s supposed to be this mysterious playboy that his fans are meant to thirst after (which is fair and not completely unfounded) but he’s written as a toxic, abusive, gaslighting asshole because the author (she’s a whole diff can of worms to deal with, yikes) decided to just give him a new (v. inaccurate and harmful to young girls) personality.

And it’s not just After that I’ve seen this with, it’s a bunch of fanfiction, RPF and fictional stuff alike. But I suppose that’s again a whole separate problem (problem being the constant romanticisation of abusive behaviour, particularly when helmed by the pretty face of a celeb) to deal with in general.

And in terms of saying, ‘well the movie made bank and so did the people involved so it’s okay’ doesn’t sit right with me because as far as I know, HS didn’t make money off of this? If anyone has info on this please correct me but to my knowledge, the name was just changed to avoid legal problems but I could be wrong. And so jumping off this point, I don’t see how this movie is okay - everyone knows that this is HS fanfic but it’s also a shitty fantasy for young girls to indulge in because it is harmful imo. And tbh, as I’m writing this, world tiniest violin for HS’s image technically being exploited and repackaged without him being able to capitalise on it but the franchise as a whole, imo, is garbage and has a net negative effect. This is complex stuff and, as you can probably tell, I’m kind of on the fence here. Feel free to chime in on what you think ✌🏼

Yeah as I said this is a huge discussion point and one I find very, very interesting because I do see the “EEK NO” angle and was on that side of the fence for this debate for multiple years, so it’s not like I’m purely like, “Oh fuck it don’t be a prude” (well I do say that to people who’re like “HOW DARE YOU WRITE SOFT PORN ON THE INTERNET” but not to like a “is this ethical” debate). 

Re Harry making money off of After - it’s not that he got paid for it per se, but it being fanfic about him defs had people listening to his shit and looking him up more. It’s a symbiotic thing. Same as Idea of You - which has yet to become a movie - definitely leads to an increase in streaming. To me both projects have benefited Harry financially and in terms of growing his fanbases. Is it how he would necessarily want them to grow organically, like if he could choose? I’m not sure, I’d be fascinated to have a discussion with him about it, but I also think he wouldn’t pearl clutch about shit like that because in the end it does benefit him. 

Now we get to like “is this a positive portrayal or not?” which is another thing I personally feel strongly about and why, although I’ve - recently, like this blog is my first venture into this territory, my smut before has been fictional fanfic or original - started writing RPF I wouldn’t write an AU/crack pairing and I wouldn’t write about people who I didn’t think were in a healthy loving relationship. But that’s a moralistic judgement. Like personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable portraying anyone I was writing as an asshole. But.... would me portraying them as an asshole affect their lives? No. After blowing up is bad for young girls who’re being role modelled bad behavior but that’s not the result of it being RPF inspired, like it’s just a bad plot.

As I’ve said, in many ways Taylor has invited fans to imagine her and Joe fucking. Like she’s put out multiple explicit sex songs and yeah we’re allowed to think about that. While Karlie hasn’t, she has shown off her husband and my vibe is... the people on this blog - real people who get comfort from reading shit here and just vibing - find her and him hot and want to imagine them fucking. Even if he hasn’t really invited that, he’s very much featured as her husband in many of her videos and in her public life. He’s a ~presence. My Joshlie fic didn’t say aaaaanything negative about them, like it was based around a public event that we know he left drunk, and then they have fictional sex in their hallway. Is that true? Of course not. Idk. It’s a fantasy that people wanted to indulge because they find them hot. 

Then we also need to zoom out and look at the history of this type of shit because y’all know me I’m all for nuanced views and my obsession with the entertainment industry and the concept of celebrity and the histories thereof and such like... define me. If we think about how showmances and PR relationships started up - thinking in terms of the studio system - there’s a huge element of transference and fantasy. People wanted to see couples on screen be dating in real life. Why? Because then they could imagine their whole lives together, they could project the characters played onto the celebs in question. And that worked both ways, like if a couple was dating in real life, people wanted to see them on screen. That’s RPF. People were obsessed with Burton and Taylor acting together because they wanted Burton and Taylor not because they gave a shit about the film in question.

I think it’s very natural to fantasize. I think there’s a long history of that. And while I understand being like, “Eh I don’t like this” I don’t know how different the logic of going “here’s a short story imagining these famous people in bed” is from “hmmmm I really think Gaga and BCoop fucked because LOOK AT THE CHEMISTRY.”

We can say both are wrong but I also think we need to live in reality, we need to look at what’s profitable, and we need to look at history. And to me at this point it’s just... no big deal. 

I will say the Joshlie stuff would probs make them far more uncomfy than the Swiftwyn stuff would make Swiftwyn but at the same time there are weirder things written about all of them on the internet than me being like, “Here’s a sexy consensual scenario between two people who adore each other” and again people walk away from my blog as bigger fans of all four people by and large and ergo spend money on their shit so eh I’m not feeling like I’m crossing any lines.

And obviously like any smutty RPF scenario is fucking fiction.

Obviously.

[1zashreena1]

I Am Having a Sad -9

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess has a bad and lonely self-esteem day. Diego goes too far too fast from 2500 miles away and she calls her safeword for the first time in her life. 

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

FEELS. the L word, SAFEWORD, depression/anxiety, self-esteem issues, sensory processing issues, sel-expression difficulties, plus size woman+fit man, soft!Diego,  overwhelmed Princess, is a relationship happening?? apparently. Leftover high school Spanish.

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​​​​ @symbiont13​​​​ @nicke0115​​​​ @bunnykjm​​​​ @rosee-sensuelle​​​​ @girlpornparadise​​​​ @mandoplease​​​​ @heresathreebee​​​​ @xxsteph-enrixx​​​​ @jetiikad​​​​ @joalsglasses​​​​ @mutantcookiesecrets​​​​ @demoncatstone​​​​ @squidlywiddly87​​​​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​​​ @poeedamerons​​

I am having a sad. This is normal and okay. I just have to wait it out. I do not need to text him. This pep talk would be more effective if you would stop staring longingly at the last selfie he sent you.

It isn't working. All you want right now is to be smothered in Diego but he is in a different time zone. And you don't want to be clingy. And demanding. And needy.

Surely making yesterday's selfie your new lock screen will help, right? 

With a big sigh you flop backwards into your bed. You eye your phone like it's a live grenade. It hasn't even been eight hours since the last text and. And you have this… pain? In your chest? What if I'm annoying him?

He has to be super busy, I should just wait. What time even is it in LA right now?

You snatch up the phone and check. 7:46 pm PDT. You wonder what he ate today. Did he have dinner yet? What shirt is he wearing? Does he have a headache? He always says he has a headache when he gets back to New York. And then you rub his head, stroke through his soft hair, stretch out his solid neck, break up all the adhesions in those broad shoulders.

Bitch, this is not helping. What do you hate about him?

Oh yeah, that list is blank.

You open up the text conversation and stare at the blinking cursor. Just one text can't hurt, right?

You look at the selfie again. He's in bed, deep plum sheet tucked up under his chin, all sleepy chocolate eyes and a soft little smile. His face is relaxed, leaning against his left hand. His beard is ruffled on one side, flattened on the other from where he must have slept on it. You can feel tears welling up again. 

How the fuck is he so gorgeous? Why is someone who looks like that sending me selfies? I have no right to this. I don't deserve this. 

You reach out and trace one finger down his cheek. His right dimple is visible under the stubble. Minimizing the picture, you go back to the cursor. The screen is blurry until you blink and one tear slips out. 

You type out one hasty 'hey' and hit send before you can quadruple guess yourself. This is stupid. He's too busy for your little drama queen hissy fit meltdown.

Sorry, should've asked if you're busy first 

Send.

Enough time passes that you flip the phone screen-down and plop it on your heaving chest. You bring both hands to your face and press into your closed eyelids. Just as you reach back down with a huge sigh the phone vibrates.

Princessssss. You know I'm never busy to you

You choke out a sob-laugh and try to breathe normally. Okay, now a decision. Idle chatter or metric fuckton of feels? While you waffle about it, Diego initiates a videocall. Oh, hell no. You jab 'Decline' so hard it bends your nail back.

What is wrong? Why can't I see you?

I just look like shit rn. Please don't 

That has never been true. Mi princesa bonita

Always quick with the compliments. You sniffle.

I just. I guess I just miss you. Tonight

Perfect, you hit send before could have deleted it. Great job. Wonderful. Brilliant. 

Is everything ok? This does not sound like sexytimes

Oh, Diego. 

Yeah, I'm fine. Mostly. I mean nothing is wrong, its just me

Just me having feels

… should you have sent that? Probably not. Do you regret it? Yes, instantly. In fact, if preemptive regret were possible you would already have drowned in it.

The phone is quiet for a minute. Good job dumbass, now he IS annoyed.

What kind? Sad feels? Headache feels? Work is stupid and frustrating feels? Huffy feels that require cheese? You have many feels. At all times. It sounds exhausting 

Yep. I'm annoying and clingy. You chastise yourself rather effectively.

You're right. Sorry. I got this

Does that sound bitchy? Is it bitchy? Oh my god, I need an off button.

Nonono. I asked. You have to answer. Its a rule

Your laugh is sharp. 

Since when do you care about rules lol

When they're your rules. We agreed to answer direct questions honestly, yes?

Well fuck. He got you there. You had agreed to that. When you two sat down in your living room after the Emotional Spanking*™ and had a 'groundframe setup' discussion. Sometimes you were fairly certain he mangled phrases just to watch your eye twitch violently. Little shit. 

OK fine. I'm feeling shitty about myself.  Happy??

Now that is bitchy. 

FORBIDDEN

And no, that does not please Diego

And is that why I exist? To please you??? 

Before you can stop it, your temper flares.

No Princess. The other way. Let me please you

Oh no. Oh shit. What. Is. Happening?? You are royally fucked now. This entire conversation has gone so completely off the rails that you can't even define a 'train'. Those little bouncing dots have not stopped yet.

Should I tell you how I miss you? How these stupid meetings and these stupid people and my stupid sister bore me when I would rather be listening to you read a dictionary? Or sing every word to every song ever played on the radio? Or explain the differences between cat breeds?

Or maybe I could say how ridiculously empty this bed is with only me in it. How there are no tiny socks hidden under the comforter. Not a single lip balm in sight.

Perhaps you need a list of everything I would touch. The soft lips. A little bitty hand. That tiny ribcage. Those thick thighs. With my beard, ofc. Your forehead with mine?

Oh. Ohh. Oh no. This is not fair. This is an attack. How did he just break me like this? Your face is flushed and you are crying outright now. You have to stop this right now.

Stop.stop please. Diego no

Diego yessss 

You can't take anymore. This isn't funny. You can't even form words. When autocorrect suggests the picture of a pineapple you stab it and then hit send in rapid succession.

Pinnaea🍍🍍

………………………...

Your phone emits one aborted ring then it cuts off.

Can I call? Please

You're trying to figure out a way to calm yourself, to stifle the heaving gasps and whiny sobs. You're nodding. Not useful, idiot, you scold yourself.

No video. Just talk. Please Princess

You can't say no to that when he is trying so hard. 

Ok yeah 

You barely see the message load on the screen when the ringing starts up again. Smacking the green button entirely too hard, you hold your breath to stop the pitiful sounds.

"Princess?" His voice is cautious, tone soft.

"I'm h-here." Is all you can manage. Any more and you'll burst into sobs again.

"Are you in bed?" Keeping it short and precise. Yes or no answers. Nothing too demanding. 

"Yeah. S-s-sitting." He is being so sweet. How is someone like Diego so sweet to you. Something rustles in the background. 

"What was it? A specific word? Or just too much?" His voice is hushed, like he might be in a small room…

"Are… are you in a c-c-closet?" Is he really…? You hold your breath.

"Si. Your closet is too small. I was going to send you a picture." He answers.

You absolutely cannot deal with this man. 

"Baby, I--" Your stupid soprano voice gives away how emotional you really are. He was going to send you a picture of a closet big enough for you to hide. Probably a panoramic shot so you could fully visualize it. Your chest compresses and you gasp.

"Princess? Talk. Make a noise. Something!" He sounds panicked. You suddenly remember he can't read your face this way. He can't see your pleased smile.

"That's. That's just. Diego, I love you so much." Its out before you can stop it. Even though you know he can't see it, you still hide your face.

"Love." He breathes softly into the phone. "Tell Diego what you need, my good little girl." His voice is quiet, controlled. He is letting you lead him where you want him. Everywhere. Forever.

You feel safe enough to actually confess, "I just have a, a really hard time believing… all of. That." You wave your hand in the air vaguely. "Not that you're lying!" You rush to clarify. "Just that anyone could actually like, well seems to, at least, everything…?"

"Did that make any sense?" You chew your lip anxiously.

His soft chuckle makes your stomach flip. "Well, it was technically English." Your snort sends him into quiet giggles.

"I like hearing you laugh." You whisper. He goes silent. You tense up.

"Perfect little princess. No one has ever told me that before. Most people are frightened of my laugh." He seems a little bewildered by his own words. Like he didn't mean for that to come out but now he definitely wants to hear the reaction.

You cover your smile, then pick up the phone so you can lie down. "Apparently I'm not most people." You feel around blindly until you locate TMP (Tiny Murder Panther) and tuck the stuffed animal under your chin for cuddles. "I like your voice, too. Like when you talk to me. Sometimes its just the words. Or rather my ingesting of them of that trips me up." Your quiet sniffle is hidden in silky black fur.

"The words are the problem? Do I need a, a…. The book with words that all mean the same thing." He bites out.

Sometimes you forget that English is his second language. Then things like this happen. And its fucking adorable.

"Thesaurus. Synonyms, baby." Your smile is audible.

"I know!" He huffs in mock indignation.

"I know you know. That's cute, though."

"So are your little 'aqui's and 'si's and 'ahora's."

"Fine! Gawd!" 

You both dissolve into laughter. It fades into easy silence while you rub your cheek over faux fur. 

He sighs gently into the phone. "Was it the forehead touching?" His voice trembles a bit, like he is unsure that he should have asked. As though afraid. A little overwhelmed, just like you.

"Um. Yes. Actually. That was. Yeah, that did it." You blink back tears. "We have a thing. We're a 'we'."

"That is what you want, yes?" Diego sounds cautious. As if he might accidentally utter an irreversible spell or something. Then, a quiet whisper, "It's what I want."

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just force it out. Just take what you desire. Jump already.

"I want you. I don't think a typical, um, relationship would work. But, people can define themselves. Relationships should operate the same way."

That… that actually sounded decisive and authoritative. Wow. You're really that bitch tonight, huh? You are very pleased with yourself. You can hear something sliding against the phone but can't identify the sound.

"There she is." The wide smile in his voice stabs directly into your heart. It was his beard rubbing the phone when he smiled. You laugh with his approval, pleasure burning through your veins.

"Maybe I can write some stuff down. For discussion purposes. Maybe you can write some stuff down for me. Reading it makes it seem more real to me."

"If that is your royal decree, Princess." He shuffles around, you can hear clothing rustling.

"Do you really like finding my orphan socks?" Your voice is sly, like a kid springing a trap question. He likes that smirky tone and you know it.

"They are cute. Just like the tiny feet. You are so very little, Princess." Oh, but he knows exactly how to flip the trap back onto you. The sound of muffled tapping comes through the line. "Tiny feet. Added to the list." His voice echoes the smallest bit, he must have you on speaker so he can access the note app. "Next item: fat ass."

You explode into guffaws. "Damnit Diego!" Your wheezing almost drowns out his husky laughter. 

"Wait! I almost forgot! Fan-tasss-tic. Rrrrack." He sounds out the words as he types them. You lose vocal control again, giggling like a child. Logically you know these juvenile jokes shouldn't be this amusing, but clearly you both have the same maturity level.

"Baby, you are my favorite pervert." Your declaration is met with haughtiness. 

"I had better be your only pervert, Princess." The possessive tone straightens your spine with shock. "You are mine!" He growls fiercely. 

Everything is quiet for a very long minute. You seem to have consumed every butterfly, hot sauce, and poprocks-and-cola mixture on the planet when you weren't paying attention. 

You think about all the gifts. Designer purses, specially tailored clothing, the six pairs of redbottoms you now own, how the last ring he gave you still twinkles up at you from your right hand (he took great pleasure in ensuring it fit your middle finger so you can still be pretty while you flip him off).

You remember all the places he has taken you. The Michelin starred restaurants, that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where they know him by first name is your favorite, the stupid stores he wanders through with you, the cheesy tourist traps where he always gets you a hideously clichéd souvenir. 

Your memory flashes through a slide show of his laughter. Gleeful giggles at your horrified reaction to the neon orange lipstick he presented in Sephora. His wheezing delight when you gagged on the seaweed appetizer he shoveled into your mouth before you could object. The gentle, knowing chuckle when you pulled TMP out of your bag to take a nap two weekends ago.

You realize he is entirely correct.

"Yes I am, Diego." Is your quiet confirmation. 

"Bicki. I." He seems startled. You stay silent and let him gather his thoughts. The swallow is audible before he continues hesitantly, "I will see you this weekend, mi amor?"

All the ways this man says 'I love you' are so many more than just the actual words. Your pleased smile stretches your cheeks so far it hurts.

"Yes please!" Your shameless request ends in a yawn. "Sorry." 

"You need to sleep for work, Princess. I have one last meeting here then I will be there tomorrow." 

You wish he was here now but keep that to yourself. 

"OK, let me know when you're here." 

I am so not wearing panties under that new maxidress for the flight up and demanding that he pick me up personally. Yes. A perfect plan. You amuse even yourself with your scheming.

"Be careful tonight, Diego. I want you to come home to me." The thought of anything happening to him crushes your throat.

"I, I want that, too. Love you." All comes tumbling out of him in a rushed confession of quiet hopefulness. It makes you so happy that tears well up again. Fucking stop this, woman.

"Love you. Bye, baby." You whisper warmly, hoping he can feel even an ounce of how deliriously happy he makes you.

"Goodnight, Princess." The reply is sighed, full of self-conscious relief and pleasure. His rough voice is so calm and soothing that you nod off before the line disconnects, face tucked into his miniature proxy.

…………………………...

Incoming text

Friday 12:09am

From: Murder Panther

🥰💋💟💯🔜

[mymindsmadness]

Why I hate seeing the Uchiha logo on Sakura’s shirt/why I don’t ship SasuSaku

DISCLAIMER: I’m not shitting on anyone’s ship. I get it. You love them. You do you booboo, I’m just here to speak my truth. Don’t come at me with comments shitting all over the things I love. You have your opinion and I have mine.

If you are a SasuSaku shipper and you read past this point, you have no one but yourself to blame for your anger!

I’m probably gonna rant a bit, so I’ll start with the bottom line. Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship is one of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever seen.

Unrelated (but kind of related): All the female character are written pretty shitty, and that adds to this whole mess.

Part I [Young Love]:

Okay. I get it. She’s all for Sasuke and he doesn’t give her the time of day. We love a queen that gets hers in the end. The problem is that Sakura’s core personality traits are based off of her obsession. Her wants. Her flaws. Her essence as a [non] person is completely defined by Sasuke’s character. This is even verified when Kakashi asks them about themselves and Sakura literally gives [giggles] Sasuke for every answer.

When they’re tested with the bells, Sakura shows no ninja prowess whatsoever. She shows no skill beyond hiding in a bush. The only time we really see her moving/thinking/talking, is when it’s to ‘rescue Sasuke’. She even refers to him as ‘my Sasuke’ a dozen or so times. Seriously, it could be a drinking game.

During the chunin exams, we see a little more of a backbone from Sakura. But even as she struggles to make herself be seen, she really only wants to be seen by – you guessed it – Sasuke.

When Sasuke gets extra angsty [YOLO style], and tries to leave the village, Sakura tries to go with him. Think about that. Sakura tries to leave the village. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Everything! She does this because the idea of becoming a criminal is more appealing than being left behind by Sasuke.

But you know what? I’ll excuse it. She’s only thirteen at this point. She’s entitled to make stupid choices in the name of puppy love. We’ve all been there, man. And sure, at thirteen all love feels like true love. You know what girl? I forgive you.

Part II [Personal Growth]

At this point, Sakura’s whole character arch is defined by the people that leave her. And I could forgive this – almost. Enter Tsunade. I love Tsunade. I worship Tsunade. She is probably the one female character in the whole show that is as well integrated as the men [if we ignore the fact that her whole backstory is revolved around them]. When Sakura started training with Tsunade, I knew there was about to be an Eye of the Tiger montage. Sure enough, my girl comes through. Come Shippuden, Sakura is kicking ass and taking names [literally]. Better yet, she found her niche in medical ninjutsu [insert joke about how females always play the healers]. She’s got chakra for days and the control of a saint. Piss my girl off? You ‘bout to lose a lung.

Yes, Sakura’s still insecure when it comes to her place among the others, but can we blame her? She had demi-gods as teammates. But it’s different now. Sakura knows she’s a badass. She’s fully aware that her control and strength are something to be proud of. She uses those years of neglect and training to help her comrades!... and chase down Sasuke.

By the beginning of the 4th war, this bitch has lost her damn mind. At this point, Sakura and Naruto have been searching for Sasuke for the last 3 [or so] years. All this time, Sakura is under the impression that she’s in love with him. The times from when Sasuke left to the end of the war, are some of the most defining years in a person’s life. At 13-17 is when a person’s personality really starts to develop and lay out the foundation for the adult they will be.

Part III [All’s Fair]

Now, I’m not saying that Sakura didn’t hold a certain level of love for Sasuke her whole life. It’s very possible. However, there was no way it could be a romantic love. Think about who you were when you were twelve. Now think about who you were at seventeen. Did anything change in that time?

Sakura could not have been in love with Sasuke because she didn’t know who he was. They hadn’t been in contact in years! She had the memory of who he had been on a pedestal, and without him around to alter that image, it became more and more idyllic. By the time Sasuke returned [at the end of the war], Sakura was still in love with the idea of him.

She had put their relationship and romance in the forefront of her mind all of her life. It had been her driving force and defining mindset. When this crazy ass bitch [ily gurl] activated her seal and literally jumped on a pike for her boys, it was the most badass thing she’d ever done. And when she was done with that? She got upset that Sasuke hadn’t noticed/cared. She was fighting for her friends, her family, her village, her life… and all that confidence she had gained was brought down by the fact that the boy she thought she loved didn’t notice.

Part IV [In Which Sasuke Cares… Allegedly]

Remember when Sakura finally got Sasuke to notice her? When he overcame his terminal broodiness and admitted that he was touched that she never gave up hope in him? When he kissed her goodbye with the promise of returning and being worth all of her unfounded love and attention?

Oh… right… that never happened.

I mean… he tapped her forehead like Itachi did to him that one time… Same thing I suppose.

Okay, okay… I might be being a little harsh. I’ll concede that it is a genuine act of affection for Sasuke. But… a minor one. Alright, our broody boi doesn’t like PDA… Still, we’re given no indication that they talked about their feelings before this goodbye. That’s backed up by the fact that she asks to go with him – something she would have done before now if they had. Legit, Naruto got more of a goodbye than Sakura did [two dudes, chillin’ in the woods].

To the best of everyone’s knowledge, Sasuke only stayed in Konoha for about a year after the war. Now, depending if you follow the manga or anime, some of that time might have been in jail. My point is, that a year or less was spent in the village after several years of Sakura loving him from a distance.

At this point, she very well might have learned about the older Sasuke. She might have decided that she did still love him [doubtful on a realistic level]. But then he leaves. We’re not sure for how long, but if we look at Boruto, it’s common for him to leave for long periods of time.

Once again, Sakura is left behind with her memories of the man she thinks she loves [because without a functioning adult relationship, there’s no way to be sure].

Part V [Sakura Achieves Her Nightmare Dreams]

Let’s step into Boruto for this next part. We flash forward to all of our beloved characters in their adult years. I know what you��re thinking ‘Oh! I’ve missed so much! They’re all so grown up!’. Hahaha, don’t worry. They’re not at all the same people.

Since the series is based on the children, we’re forced to fill in some of the blanks ourselves. Sakura – the best medic nin in Konoha. The woman whose strength rivals that of her mentor’s. The woman who mastered the Seal of 100. The woman who grew into her own as a character, even if the driving force was a boy - is living her best life as… a housewife? I mean... maybe?

We don’t know this for sure, and a lot of us hope she runs the hospital or something [because we want all good things for our girl], but have you noticed that she doesn’t wear a headband? A ninja one that is. The girl who worked hard to not be left behind’s whole adulthood is… the woman left behind.

Even if it can be argued that she achieved her goal… has she? Yes, she wanted to be Sasuke’s wife and baby mama since waaaaay too young of an age to be thinking about that shit, but like this? We know from the fact that Sakura fainted when Sasuke came home that he’s rarely there. This means that she probably raised their daughter alone. Even now, she can’t just leave because Sasuke’s always away.

If you think I’m taking libraries with filling in the gaps, I refer you to that one time her daughter basically asked if they were really married. And if you think I’m exaggerating Sasuke’s absence, I refer you to that time he almost killed his fucking daughter because he didn’t know what she looked like!

Let that sink in.

Part VI  [In Summation]

Sakura was a girl that grew up with a false ideal of love. She obsessed over a person that didn’t exist and carried that falsehood into her adult life. When presented with everything she thought she had wanted her whole life, Sakura jumped on the chance because it was the logical move. In gaining everything that she thought she wanted, Sakura lost any personal growth that she had gained by the absence of her obsession aka Sasuke.

Sasuke, who had ignored her as a child, tried to kill her as a teen, and barely acknowledged her beyond using her to revive his clan, can’t be bothered to even appreciate her. Even as he leaves again as an adult, he says goodbye to their daughter [again, with an oh-so-affectionate poke], but simply walks away from Sakura.

The truth is that given the way she blushes and faints around him still, Sakura doesn’t know him. She’s still in love with an idea of the man that grew from the boy she had been obsessed with all her life. She wears the Uchiha symbol on her back as a reminder that she did it. She got the guy! True love wins again! I mean… maybe? He’s fucked her at least, so…

There’s a chance that Sasuke loves Sakura. I think he loves her for loving him. At the very least, we know he’s fond of her… I assume.

Sakura was a character that was used to further the plot of a man. Even as an adult, she’s left to sit and pine as the boys go off on their adventures. She’s a woman that’s stuck in a hell of her own creation – even if she loves her daughter and the things that marrying Sasuke has brought her.

There’s ‘getting the guy’ and being trapped in a toxic idealized relationship. How you choose to see this one is up to you.

[omgrachwrites]

Schooled (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OC

Summary: After the passing of Ava’s father she starts acting out which drives her right into the arms of one gorgeous Professor Barnes.

Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex, little bit of angst, characters are 21+

Words: 2042

A/N: I’m sorry for the delayed update! I hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think! I love you all! xxx

Part Nine - Movie Night

Ava sighed in bliss as she felt Bucky’s teeth scrape at the sensitive skin of her neck and the way that his warm hand roamed up and under her dress, squeezing her thigh. She tightened her legs around Bucky’s hips and threw her head back against the wall as his deft index and middle fingers pressed into the thin lace of her underwear. They’d both agreed to try an intimate relationship to try and quell the sexual tension between them. Then maybe, just maybe they would be able to get back to their lives.

Ava decided that there was no time like the present so she’d pulled Bucky in the direction of one of the many supply closets. Unfortunately, the lock on the door had been busted but Ava couldn’t see anyone walking in and interrupting them. Besides, there were a thousand supply closets in the building.

“Bucky,” Ava whispered as she pressed herself against him, he hummed against her neck which made her pout into the darkness, that wasn’t the reaction that she had wanted. A smirk slowly spread across her face as a wicked idea filled her head, “Professor Barnes,” she cooed, smirking as she felt the kisses against her neck cease, “Professor Barnes, you feel so good.”

Her words coaxed a growl out of him and he put his fingers on either side of her underwear and pulled them to the side. Ava let out a shuddered sigh as his fingers stroked over her warm flesh, avoiding where she really needed him. Almost instantly, the door was wrenched open and a giggle rang out, Ava recognised that giggle, it was MJ. MJ and Peter.

A look of horror spread across Ava’s face, even though she knew that Bucky couldn’t see her. She had to do something. And fast, “there’s somebody already in here!” Ava called in a voice that sounded breathy and high pitched, unlike her usual voice.

“Oops,” MJ giggled and Ava heard Peter chuckled nervously as the door was slammed shut again.

Bucky laughed against Ava’s neck as he pulled her underwear back to normal and pressed his lips firmly against hers, “so, I guess the moments gone huh?” he put Ava down and she giggled as she cupped Bucky’s stubbled cheek.

“Unfortunately,” she felt a great pang of disappointment at the fact that they’d been denied the chance to get each other off, she was going to kill MJ, “come on, we should re-join the party before anybody notices that we’re missing and they put two and two together,” she sighed as she leaned forward with her hands on Bucky’s firm chest and planted a chaste kiss on his plump lips.

As the pair of them discreetly left the supply closet, Ava glanced up at Bucky’s face beneath the glow of the artificial lighting. His hair was a mess, and there was a sparkle as he regarded her with those gorgeous blue eyes. His lips were red and swollen from all their kissing. He just looked completely beautiful.

Ava grinned as she realised that she must look the same, “I’ll see you on Monday, Professor Barnes,” she sent him a wink as she walked past him, making sure to brush up against him as she did so. She smirked to herself when she heard him make a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

Back at the party she grabbed a flute of sparkling pink champagne from one of the passing waiters and she spied Wanda standing at the edge of the dance floor. Wanda took one look at Ava’s appearance and she shook her head with a knowing smirk, “were you with Bucky?”

Ava grinned giddily, it felt like she was on top of the world, “yep,” she giggled as she popped the ‘p’, “we were in one of the supply closets.

“Unbelievable,” Wanda muttered but there was a hint of pride in her voice.

A couple of weeks later Ava was walking down the hallway with Wanda and MJ, she was on the way to Bucky’s lecture hall. He had had called her and asked if he could see her, he’d sounded nervous. She hoped that everything was okay with him.

“Do you guys think I’m doing the right thing? Sleeping with him I mean, it’s risky I know but I just can’t help it, he’s so gorgeous,” she chewed her lip.

“Absolutely, this is the best thing to happen to you! I’m still mad at me and Peter for interrupting you at the party,” MJ grinned.

“I agree, some risks are worth it and Bucky is definitely worth it. Have you even seen that man’s face? Now, go and get your man,” Wanda added.

Ava laughed, grateful that she had two amazing friends, “I’ll see you guys later, drinks at the apartment tomorrow night, Loki is bringing the girl that he’s been sleeping with,” Ava grinned as she waved at her friends and entered the lecture hall.

Bucky was busy grading papers and Ava almost felt her heart sigh as she saw how handsome he looked today. Even though he looked completely gorgeous every day. He glanced up and smiled at her, causing her to suddenly remember why she was there, “hey is everything okay? Is this about the last essay, I know it wasn’t my best work,” she chewed her lip and walked up to the desk, placing her hand on his forearm, feeling his muscles jump beneath her touch.

To her surprise, Bucky began to blush and he carded his fingers through his hair nervously, “oh this isn’t about work, it’s something personal. And hey, I really enjoyed your last essay,” he chuckled and Ava instantly felt less nervous, “if you’re not doing anything tonight, do you want to come over to my apartment? We can get takeout and watch a movie, have a couple of drinks. Henry is staying with my mom.”

Ava chewed her lip, movie night just seemed like a big step for them, and it seemed too personal for two people who were just sleeping together. But she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, not when his big blue eyes looked so hopeful and vulnerable.

“Sure, I’d love to Bucky,” she took a deep breath, her voice sounded shaky. When did she become so nervous? “Though I’m volunteering at the hospital for a couple of hours so I’ll be at yours around 8 if that’s okay?”

Bucky looked extremely relieved as he leaned across the desk to give her a sweet and quick kiss, “that’s fine, just let me know what take out you feel like. And, you can stay the night if you want to,” he raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Ava laughed, a little giddy, she was actually feeling excited about tonight, despite her previous misconceptions about it. She thought that it was sweet of him to ask her, “wow Bucky, beer, takeout and sex? You don’t half spoil me,” she winked at him, blowing him a flirty kiss, relishing in the way he flushed.

Immediately after leaving the lecture hall she texted the girls group, ‘omg, you guys! He wants to do movie night tonight!’

-----------------------

Bucky smiled as he lifted the bottle of beer to his lips, swallowing the bitter contents of it before placing it back on his coffee table. He wrapped an arm around Ava as she rested her head on his chest, her warm hand resting on his stomach beneath his shirt. Bucky shivered as she ran her long nails over his skin as they watched the second part of the shitty action movie. They had no clue what was going on.

In the first part of the movie they were more concerned with having sex on the couch rather than watching the film. Despite that fact though, Bucky thought that movie night had been a success. He was completely content for the first time in a long time and it was mostly due to the beautiful girl in his arms.

Bucky grinned down at her as he tilted her chin up so he could kiss her, when he pulled away she was smiling right back at him but something within her smile looked strained.

“Is everything okay doll? You seem distracted tonight, was everything okay at the hospital tonight,” Bucky asked as he chewed his lip, pretty much all night she looked like she wanted to say something to him.

“Everything was fine at the hospital, everything’s fine with me,” she sighed before she sat up, crossing her legs, “but you do realise that movie night is a big step for two people who are in a relationship. We need to define what’s going on between us, you know that we do,” she gestured in between her and Bucky.

Bucky’s eyebrows knitted together and a funny churning feeling formed in his stomach, it was like the opposite of butterflies, he could tell that this conversation wouldn’t be an easy one to have, “isn’t this what this is, a relationship? We’ve been sleeping together and getting food together for about two weeks now, would you not call that dating?” Things might have changed since Bucky was in college but surely they couldn’t have changed that much. Bucky’s dad also thought that Ava was his girlfriend so hopefully they wouldn’t be invited to many family gatherings.

Ava shook her head and Bucky felt his face fall as his arm dropped from the back of the couch, he felt hurt and suddenly defensive, if this wasn’t a relationship, if they weren’t dating then what were they doing?

“Look, Bucky,” Ava started, chewing her lip, “you know I care about you, but you’re my Professor and I know that I agreed to this but it’s already risky that we’re sleeping together, without adding a whole relationship into the mix. I’m still worried what will happen to me and most importantly to you and your job if we get caught. I think this whole thing should be a no strings kind of relationship. If feelings get involved things are going to get messy, and I don’t know if I can be bothered.”

Bucky winced at her words, they stung but he knew that she was right, he had worked too hard to get himself into the teaching business, they should be careful, “yeah of course, I completely agree. No strings, just like we’re back in Greece, just without the glorious weather,” he chuckled but his laugh sounded funny.

Ava beautifully beamed at him, clearly not noticing the hurt that laced his voice, “are you sure that it’s okay? Like you can still see other people while we’re doing this, I don’t want there to be any pressure on us.”

Bucky sighed as he smiled at her and played with the ends of her hair, he knew what she meant when she told him that he could see other people, it was because she wanted to see other people as well. He couldn’t blame her, she was beautiful and young, exactly the right age when she should be playing the field rather than settling down with a man that was ten years older than her, “yeah of course, that’s completely fine,” he knew that his dishonesty would come round to bite him in the ass. Though, he couldn’t find it in his heart to care, not when Ava’s hand had drifted past his stomach and she looked at him with that smirk and that playful gleam in her eyes.

Ava giggled as Bucky pulled her to straddle him, he grunted as her pressed against him and suddenly their previous conversation escaped him and he didn’t much care that they were only sleeping together, “how attached are you to this pretty little dress?” he asked, playing with the flimsy material as his hands inched under it. He grinned when he remembered that she didn’t put her underwear back on after they had sex earlier on.

Ava smirked as she kissed him, her warm breath ghosting over his lips, “I’m not attached to it, it just makes for easy access,” she pulled on his bottom lip with her teeth and he groaned. She was going to be the death of him, though it would be a beautiful death.

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