#like not being hyperbolic when i say i genuinely do not need or want more death of beloved characters in my fictional escape fantasy game

[pinacoladamatata]

feeling kind of stressed like i'm running out of time to draw solas

[psychoticallytrans]

There's this idea, fairly common in society, that mental illness is for teens and up. Children are happy little creatures, generally, right? Sometimes they're abused and the trauma can make them mentally ill, but that's not common.

There are two fundamental problems with this attitude. One, it's incorrect to assume that trauma is the only reason a young kid can be mentally ill. Two, trauma is more common than people think. I'll be covering the first problem in this post through the lens of my particular experience.

Where I live, you can be diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 years old. You cannot be diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a minor. This poses a problem because my age of onset was in first grade, roughly six years old. Because of the fact that I was very young and new to the world, this was also the age of my first suicide attempt. Thinking I wouldn't be able to pass a spelling test genuinely felt like something worth trying to die over. So, I ate some hemlock, since I'd read about Socrates being killed with it. Luckily, I ate western hemlock, an unrelated species, and just felt kind of sick.

I'm not recounting that for fun or pity. I'm recounting it because children with mental illness are in genuine danger because they have little to no experience with managing their emotions, have little to no concept of the idea that their life can change and improve, and are dismissed by adults. I told a teacher that the test made me want to die, though not that I'd attempted to, and it was brushed off as little kid hyperbole. If I had used a method that was effective rather than one I thought would be, I would have been dead at six years old.

I would not receive medication that worked even a bit for another two years. I would not receive treatment for bipolar disorder specifically for ten years, and that required my PCP fudging the reason for the medication because she was afraid I would die if she didn't, and diagnosis was still two years off at minimum. I received a formal diagnosis at age 19, thirteen years after onset.

But surely that's uncommon, right? This story is a huge edge case, right? I actually have no idea, because age of onset and age of diagnosis are massively conflated for most disabilities. Policies like the one in my area that restricted bipolar diagnoses by age can artificially raise the age of "onset", in my case by thirteen years. The general idea that children are somehow immune to mental illness can also delay diagnosis by several years, perpetuating the idea that young children can't be mentally ill. The data on when people start experiencing mental illness is inherently skewed upwards, and I frankly don't have a good estimate on how bad that skew is. If anyone does have that data, please chime in.

Listen to children. If they're saying they're sad all the time, that they don't care about anything, that they don't see a future for themselves, those are signs of depressive symptoms. If they say that tests make them feel sick, that they can't do anything because they're scared, that they can't breathe and freeze up, those are signs of anxious symptoms. Many children talk about imaginary things, and that's just fine, but slip in a question or two about them to make sure that the kid is just playing, and not experiencing psychosis.

Children are new to the world and vulnerable, and they don't know what's normal and what isn't. They need people who are more experienced watching out for problems they might be having, and listening when they talk about having problems. If you can, try to be the person who perceives them, and tells them that things can be better.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#35: The Buildup (1.04)

gif cred: @perryabbott

This moment. This moment. This moment. Where to even begin? Let's just start by saying - hottest scene ever. 🔥❤️‍🔥🔥 When Richonne get back to that apartment there’s a whole stretch where they don’t do any talking...but yet they still have some very riveting communication 👌🏽...

They seriously tried to send me up into the afterlife with this whole moment, but it’s okay, I forgive them and thank them profusely. 😋

Y'all, I adore the way this pivotal, palpable, and incredible depiction of intimacy plays out. And the mind of Danai to turn both this buildup moment here and the love-making scene into something so deep and layered. Genius. 👏🏽👑

Rick and Michonne returning to this level of intimacy with each other for the first time in almost eight years was already going to make it pertinent to the plot and a purposeful development in the story - but for Danai to be of the mindset that she didn’t just want to stop at pertinent but instead communicate something profound and emotionally complex with Richonne's lovemaking moment. She deserves every flower for the thoughtfulness put into this. 💐

And TOWL in general was Andy and Danai getting to display their talent and chemistry to the max but from this moment on they broke the damn dial with the way they turned the volume all the way up on their talent and chemistry. 🙌🏽 🔉

source: @ririchonne

Genuinely, not even being hyperbolic, what was captured in the following passionate events feels out of this world and so of course when reveling over it I have to be...

This whole buildup moment in the apartment before Richonne heads to the bed is the hottest part for me. 🔥 The amount of tension and desire that they convey is crazy good. Richonne's hunger for each other is just visceral and it's like you can almost tangibly feel the way they're burning up for each other. ❤️‍🔥

So Rick and Michonne make it back to the apartment and we know adrenaline rushes really help set the mood for Richonne so the sexual tension in the air is thick immediately.

They’re both just breathing hard and then the temp controller chimes in to welcome them home again which I love. 😊 And this time they really are about to come home to each other in a sense.

gif cred: @nat111love

Like Michonne came really close to leaving but now that events have led them right back to each other in this apartment I feel like the thermostat is trying to get Richonne's attention like ‘hello, y’all are home to each other.’

Michonne is standing a bit ahead of Rick and looking around...and Rick ain’t looking anywhere but at her. Like homeboy is fixated. I feel like even if a dang meteor could be seen plummeting from that big window Rick wouldn’t peel his eyes off Michonne in this moment. 😋

I think after coming close to losing her several times in the last hour he’s a bit more aware of how much he needs to appreciate that she’s here with him. 

Michonne lifts up her sleeve a little because I think she can fully sense this hungry man behind her and what's on his mind (and her mind too.👌🏽)

gif cred: @nat111love

And the temp controller says, “Temperature control malfunction” and that’s probably because the temperature is already record levels of hot with Richonne's sexual tension permeating the air like this lol. 🥵

Rick slowly approaches her and Michonne slowly turns to him as they get up close and personal. The way Richonne can communicate without words, I feel like a whole lot gets said in their eye contact and kisses during this wordless sequence. 

gif cred: @nat111love

Also, I like how this scene parallels when Rick and Michonne were first in front of each other with the PRB earlier in this episode.

During that PRB moment, Rick was looking at Michonne like 'I know what we want to do but we can’t. ' And then now here when they've returned to the apartment he’s looking at her like 'I know what we want to do and we must.' They're starving and they can’t resist anymore.

Honestly, whenever Rick is within kissing distance from Michonne he looks like her presence consumes his mind and those inner magnets make it near impossible to not just lean in every time.

Also, I always get reflective of Richonne's overall journey and I just love how Rick and Michonne really went from this to this.

A love story for the ages. 🤩

So Rick looks down, mouth all open, and just again transfixed as he slowly reaches out his hand to touch her. One thing I love about this buildup moment is the slowness of everything. 😊 Like every movement takes its time.

And it makes sense that Rick is moving at a slower pace here because he’s trying to see if it’s okay to initiate all this after everything they just went through. But while the movement is slow, his heart looks like it's racing rapidly as he becomes pretty much intoxicated by her.

gif cred: @nat111love

...And Michonne can’t resist, y’all. 🤭 Like she knows she’s technically supposed to still be mad at Rick after the awful things he’s said but it quickly becomes clear that she misses him even more than she’s mad at him. 🥲

gif cred: @nat111love

And she misses all of him, including the parts she has yet to reunite with…but that’s soon about to change.

gif cred: @nat111love

Rick slowly puts his hand on her arm and she doesn’t pull away. And then Rick looks in her eyes like he hasn’t had a good glass of water in 1000 years and Michonne is the only woman that can quench him. Like the yearning in his look was really something.

gif cred: @nat111love

And then, y’all I thought it was laundry day the way our girl Michonne proceeds to fold. 😋 And of course, she folds. That's her baby and the love of her life and she hasn’t been able to be with him like this in years so...

Before Rick leans in for the first kiss, he’s already in the process of winning her over cuz she leans in a little first basically letting him know she does want this. It was giving magnets when she did that. 🧲👌🏽 

And her super subtle lean-in is all Rick needs to finally fully lean in and kiss her and I love Richonne’s slow single kisses. 😊 So far in TOWL they’ve been understandably ravenously making out and so this moment stands out for how much they let each kiss breathe a little. It’s so good.

gif cred: @nat111love

But also y’all, when I first watched this, knowing this is def building up to their first TOWL sex scene, I was sounding a lot like Nat. Cuz I was looking at Michonne like, “Sis...

I just wanted to be sure Michonne was going to be making love with her Rick and not the Sergeant Major who's been saying hurtful things and still hasn't asked anything about RJ.

Plus, I had a feeling Rick still had a little audacity left in his system and wasn’t yet going to agree to go home with her. (And that ended up being correct 🙃)…But look, it’s been a long time and so Michonne was like we’ll address all that later. 😅

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

So Rick kisses her once and then leans to the other side as Michonne puts her hand on his face, letting Rick know she doesn't want him to stop. They kiss a second time with a little more lingering on that kiss as things slowly but surely ramp up.

When they pull away Michonne looks at him like she maybe has 1% left in her that remembers she’s still supposed to be mad. The other 99% of her just longs for him.

gif cred: @msanonships

And then that 1% disappears into thin air during this next kiss and it’s my favorite part. 😊

Cuz Rick proves that it may have been some years but he still knows his wife and knows what gets her going because, while they don’t fully show it, you can tell that he definitely seems to have reached down to her derrière and that’ll do it for her, honey. 😋

gif cred: @fishalthor

Cuz when he does that and pulls her in closer to him, he has Michonne inhaling hard and fully leaning into that third hungry kiss. At that moment I was like...annnnd he got her. He got her and she ain’t mad no more. It worked like he knew it would. 😊

It’s also probably his first time even really being able to touch her like that since again those layers of clothing in previous eps were sort of a barrier.

There seems to be a consistent thing set up that her grabbing his hair gets him activated and as her husband, he definitely knows that grabbing her backside gets her activated...and him too lol. I think Michonne’s presence in general just gets Rick activated. Every part of her is a feast to him. 👌🏽

gif cred: @msanonships

And that last kiss just felt like they were about as ready to be intimate as they've ever been. After all that pulling each other closer in the previous kisses of this miniseries, this was the moment of them wanting to be as physically connected as possible and now they finally had the space to be.

Interestingly, they film a lot of this kissing moment where you mostly see Michonne’s response to Rick. I think that’s because she’s the one having to make the decision right now on whether she’ll let him in after everything he's said and done. And um I think her decision is clear.

gif cred: @msanonships

It's great how Rick is the one person who can make Michonne let go and get fully lost in the moment no matter what else is going on. And you know she has that same effect on Rick too. 👌🏽

I love how locked in they both get with that third kiss and how they turn things up a notch with it.

Those three kisses were communication. And, on top of them both communicating 'I need you and want you bad' in each kiss, the way I interpret the wordless conversation is that the first kiss was like Rick expressing, “I’m glad you’re okay and that you’re back” after the whole Michonne walking out and then later getting trapped by that chandelier stuff.

gif cred: @nat111love

Then that second kiss felt like Rick expressing, "I'm sorry" and Michonne receives that unspoken apology even tho when she looks at him there's a part of her that feels like there's still a lot for them to address and resolve.

gif cred: @lousolversons

And then y'all, to me Rick's little reach down with the third kiss was him saying, “Can I make it up to you?” And honey, Michonne's response said she'll definitely let him.

gif cred: @lousolversons

So then they really want to turn it up a notch when Rick proceeds to pick Michonne up. And clearly he’s done this before because Michonne is ready for it, and I love the way they just seamlessly transition into this. 😍

One thing I never questioned is if Rick would feel anxious about loving on Michonne with one hand. I knew that man would be like as long as I’m breathing that’s all I need to find a way.

gif cred: @nat111love

So Rick picks her up with ease and he’s basically just like 'alright you’re coming with me' and Michonne is like yes I am lol. And I also adore how even once he picks her up they immediately go right back to passionately kissing. The way these two fervidly desire each other is always 👩🏽‍🍳💋.

And I, of course, have to reflect on the overall journey once more because I just love that we went from Rick picking Michonne up on Day One of meeting each other as strangers, to now Rick picking Michonne up as husband and wife ready and eager to express their love in a way they haven't been able to in a long time.

gif cred: thewalkingdeadgifs/@msanonships

Seeing Rick and Michonne just get to operate fully in their husband and wife energy here was great to see. 👏🏽 They crave each other deeply and this scene captured that perfectly. ❤️‍🔥

The way their electrifying kisses slowly ramped up, it was clear that now that Rick and Michonne finally had the chance to reconnect in a way that they hadn't been able to with each other, nor allowed themselves to with anyone else, for several years, there was no way they were gonna just stop at these kisses here.

gif cred: @lousolversons

So y’all, this scene alone was already so hot it could break a temperature controller...but then the steamy sensual vibes continue. And as Richonne is finally intimate for the first time in years, the deep, passionate, and emotional moment is, in every way, a roller coaster ride. 🎢 😌👌🏽

[apathetic-revenant]

uh...hi?

[head pokes around corner]

so...

I've been back to scrolling around on tumblr for a bit now, and have been really wanting to get back to actually, y'know. being here. posting. not just sort of hanging here invisibly like a mournful ghost, observing but never interacting. that sort of thing. (revenants, after all, are supposed to be corporeal undead.)

but I really wanted to explain why I just kind of abruptly vanished in the first place. no one demanded this of me, but it felt like something I had to do. and then, in the typical way of self-imposed obstacles, it became a massive stumbling block. partly because of the nerves and emotions attached to it, sure, but mostly, tbh, because it was a Task. I recently (about 3 weeks ago now?) started seeing a new psychiatrist and got an adjustment to my ADHD meds which basically made my brain boot up again for the first time in way too long. this is great! but it means I am having to kind of slowly rehab my brain into getting used to doing Literally Anything again, one small step at a time. I am not being hyperbolic when I say I had to gradually build up my executive functioning for a while just to be able to write a tumblr post.

but fuck it! I really wanted to just do this already. so, while I'm sure I'll talk about all this in more detail later, for right now I'm gonna strip this down to the bare essentials just so I can get it done at all.

here's what happened:

in 2020 I had a sudden onset of extremely severe OCD.

no, not about the pandemic, actually. yeah I was anxious about the pandemic but it was a pretty normal level of anxiety for a global pandemic, honestly. my OCD took the form of scrupulosity--essentially, an obsessive worry about being a bad person.

tumblr is....not a GREAT place to be if you have a sudden obsessive fear of being a bad person.

now, to be clear: tumblr did not CAUSE my OCD, and leaving tumblr did not cure it. that's just not how OCD works. later on, I learned that atypical antipsychotics--one of which I had been prescribed around that time, for depression--have been known to cause OCD. is there any way to prove that that's what happened? probably not, at this point! so I've just been kind of sitting with that terrible knowledge for a while.

anyway. I would've had OCD anyway, but reading a regular stream of posts going "hey, here's a really terrible thing you might be doing! you might even be doing it without knowing it! you need to think really hard and be constantly vigilant all the time for any sign that you might be doing this thing!" was basically pouring gasoline on the fire.

I never made an active decision to leave tumblr--if I had I would've said something first. I just kind of thought "god, I can't do this right now" one day and didn't open the app, which turned into days and then weeks and then months, and still things weren't getting better.

it's hard to express exactly how harrowing that whole experience was. actually I just started thinking about it and realized I would never finish this post tonight if I tried to get into it just now. so I won't. let's just say: It Was Bad.

but, by an astronomical stroke of luck, I ended up getting referred to not just an OCD therapist, not just the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid, but the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid and also she was really good at her job. I genuinely think that woman saved my life.

OCD therapy is one of those "the only way out is through" kind of things. it's brutal and also quite surreal, but it has a high success rate and is very effective. OCD is not a thing that you can cure, per se, but it went from completely dominating every waking moment of my life to being something that I occasionally have to yell at in much the same way as when the cat starts knocking things off my desk at 3 in the morning.

but, the thing was, it took a year-and-a-bit before my therapist and I agreed that I had probably "graduated" as she put it. so, by the time I felt able to go back on tumblr without my brain catching on fire again, it had been so long that I didn't know how to do it. I felt like I'd pulled a major dick move by just dropping off without saying anything. I still thought about it (usually late at night, at Time To Think About Every Regret I've Ever Had O'Clock) but my brain very easily goes to a place of "well, no one would really notice or care that I was gone, and if they did they'd be mad at me for having left."

well. earlier this year I started on the road to getting past that idea. shoutout to @fordtato for helping with that, btw.

but it took me a while to work up the courage and then, as previously mentioned, even longer to work up the neurotransmitters.

I think I gotta wrap this up for now cause I don't have much concentration juice left. but, for what it's worth: I had a lot of emotions, coming back and seeing the names of people I used to talk to all the time. I don't know how you feel about me anymore, but I really missed yall. I would like to talk to you again.

[nekropsii]

Atomic Ask Bomb... 2!!

Hello, all! We are back in the mines immediately, because you all love me and my inbox so much. I still have 200+ more asks to sort through after this and that is not hyperbole!! Oops!!

Content Warning: Long, and Cronus is There.

You can be both. I am both. I think Terezi's easily in the Top 3 of Best Written Homestuck Characters, no competition. AND she compels me.

Mituna Fans and Terezi Fans flocking together like how Gays and Lesbians are supposed to.

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He doesn't have a Recuperacoon. He doesn't NEED a Recuperacoon. Who needs a Recuperacoon when you have a bathtub? You pile a bunch of slime in there, and then you can pop the drain open in the morning and take a shower right there where you just got up. It's convenient. And not at all sad. It's not sad guys.

Let's pretend for a moment that either Vantas would have regular bathing habits for the sake of this joke.

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Even if that's the case, it really doesn't change anything. Insecurity doesn't justify literal actual sexual harassment and sexual assault. What?

People will do anything to excuse random shitty men for being shitty. Sympathy is the favorite weapon in Fandom Misogyny's arsenal. So often will fans pull some random bullshit out of their ass just to say that it's fine that a male character is abusive, especially if it's to women, because "He's Sad", so he should never face criticism or punishment for his actions.

We should all start putting people in blenders. We've let these arguments go on long enough. People are far too bold in their abuse apologia. We need to kill them.

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Yeah. Like, he interests me a lot, he's one of the characters I take the most interest in out of all of the Alpha Trolls. I literally write sov!Cronus. I hate his guts, though. It really is just that easy to be a fan of a character and also fucking hate them. Not once have I ever made an excuse for him. The goal Hussie set out for when writing him was making him inexcusable and irredeemable, down to Cronus literally knowing what he's doing is bad and hurts people, and simply just not caring.

Cronus is genuinely fucking evil. That's the whole point. If you make him misunderstood, if you make him mean well, if you make him lack self awareness, if you make him sympathetic, if you give him any redeeming qualities at all... You are missing the point completely. If you want a sympathetic asshole character, you want Vriska. The point of Cronus is that he's The Worst Character In Homestuck, and that he has zero redeeming qualities and trying to fix him or redeem him is a Hopeless venture. He is beyond saving. Don't you dare even think about trying - to try to make him palatable is to erase Violent Bigotry, Incest, and Child Sexual Abuse. Just don't. Enjoy him as he is, do NOT defang him.

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He truly is the worst! I think we should explode all depictions of fanon!Cronus. Forever.

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Yeah, there's a huge reason why I do not say I'm a fan of Cronus or call him a favorite character of mine or anything. It projects a certain... Image. The wrong one. There's just such a strong precedent for anyone saying they're a Cronus Fan or calling him their Favorite Character being a person who just completely fucking ignores everything about him, or even pardons it, saying it's fine, actually, because He's Sad, or that it's Not That Bad, actually. I can't stand it.

I'm aware there are Cronus Fans who are totally normal, but I cannot help but immediately be wary of them, or flinch for a moment even when they offer the reassurance that they know better. It's a natural response, having been here for around a decade and having been a Mituna Fan the whole time.

Liking characters who are terrible people is fine. Based, even, in some cases. But... It's truly difficult with Cronus, because so much of that fanbase relies on excusing/minimizing/condoning abuse and bigotry. I don't have any qualms with people liking characters that suck, but when a fanbase for a character is so heavily focused on pretending that character isn't a horrible, terrible, awful person who abuses people - even children, even people they're related to, even children that they're related to - for nothing but their own sexual gain... I start having issues. That sets a pretty dangerous precedent, to me.

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It's crazy to me how so much of the apologism is because he's hot. Because he literally isn't. You all have terrible taste.

Let's all appreciate for a moment just how fucking ugly he is. The fan art is lying so bad. He needs a haircut. His shirt doesn't fit him, and honestly looks like women's clothes - you know those women's shirts that have the sleeves that stop halfway down the damn shoulder? He looks like a 16 year old. He's so skinny, and his shoulders are so... rounded and small - which are fine traits to have, but literally every piece of fanart portrays him as broad-shouldered and ripped when the literal opposite is true. You just know he has too much product in his hair. His actual sprite is even worse.

The way his fly doesn't even go all the way up. The way his hair clips into his face. The way he's slightly yellow for literally no reason. The shitty belt. This fucking sucks. He's so ugly. He isn't even hot.

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Mituna having Memory Loss as a result of his TBI is literally a myth invented by Cronus to emotionally manipulate Mituna and perpetuated by Cronus Fans. I think if they were friends in the past, Cronus's actions would be worse, actually.

Could you imagine getting sad that your friend doesn't remember you because of a Traumatic Brain Injury, and your response to this sadness is to abuse and sexually assault them on the regular? What, is that Just Bro Things now? Cronus literally says he targets Mituna because he thinks he can get away with it due to his struggles with communication. The thing about them being buddies in the past was one of his trademark Lies. Because he is known to do that, specifically to manipulate people. Because he is known to manipulate people. Emotionally. Because he is abusive. And terrible. And not redeemable. This isn't rocket science! It isn't rocket science to say that pushing the fault of Mituna's abuse onto Mituna is Victim-Blaming!

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Positively fucking ridiculous that so many people did not recognize their romance within the comic. If they were boys, there'd be no god damn question about it. It'd be up there in everyone's OTP list alongside DaveKat.

I think they're adorable. They're one of my favorite pairings.

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It's great in the source comic, especially during earlier phases of its existence, but the quality deprecates drastically the further you get from that point. I hate it in Fanon and in Dub/Post-Canon.

It's a great off-screen pairing for a lot of lore reasons - namely it being great to let Dave slowly allow himself to love and be loved in private, with no fear of eyes on him. He's never really been able to have privacy before, with all the cameras and eyes on him all the time, and he's never been able to really let his guard down and be vulnerable. He's never been able to love and be loved, safely. I ultimately think they should've kept their relationship mostly private, even after Dave's recovered quite a bit, because sometimes having something just for yourself without that need to perform it is healing in itself. Mental health maintenance.

In Fanon, it seems like pretty standard yaoi, though. Boring. Tired. Literally everywhere. Voyeuristic as always.

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Thank you! My Inbox generally really isn't that bad at all, honestly! Most people are pretty cordial! Anon Hate for me is pretty rare. Thankfully, the Delete Ask button exists, so I don't have to worry about those Anons for very long, lol.

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I hate to say this, but back in my day, plenty of people actually did do that. In fact, people only knowing Homestuck through fan material and then still calling themselves a fan is a big reason why old Homestuck fanon was so bad and so far off the mark!

I have a name for those kinds of fans, because it was such a frequent occurrence it begged for a title. I call them Secondaries. Like "Secondary Source"!

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World's most based triad, I think. Should be real. It's real to me.

7H15 15 MY 91RLFR13NF, L47UL4. 4DN 7H51 15 7UL45 9R1LFR13ND, P0RR1M.

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I think everyone should start watching actual horror movies. I think these people should watch Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator. I think this would fix the fandom, because a lot of people are just posting about horror movies without realizing they're posting about horror movies. Go watch a horror movie. They even have more and, frankly, more interesting gay representation than... Whatever Dirk and Jake have going on. Sorry.

If you're a gay man, get some hair on your chest and watch a bunch of horror movies. There's more in this life than anime twinks and skinny white pixel men. There's BlackRom Old Man Pet Play (The Lighthouse, 2019), there's Tormented Huge Dirty Bear (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, 2006), there's The Bisexual Psychological Torture + Betrayal Chamber (Saw, 2004), there's Dysfunctional Gay Marriage Disputes (Re-Animator, 1985, Bride of Re-Animator, 1990). And way more other ones than I can really list. Expand your horizons.

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Not much. It's a bit mysterious. Here's what Aranea had to say about Mituna in general, which gives us most of the crumbs we have:

The Heir of Doom was once a powerful psionic. He had much to say when it came to warning us a8out the path of doom and destruction we were all headed for, 8ut no one took him very seriously. 8ut one day he lost all those abilities when he 8adly overexerted himself. It's hard to get any specifics from him, 8ut indications are that he applied every last 8it of energy he had toward some great act of heroism, saving us all from some looming threat. Not only did his exertion permanently 8urn out his psychic a8ilities, 8ut it left him somewhat... er. Incoherent. The entire incident is shrouded in mystery. From his limited and scattered accounts of what happened, it seems very likely that Kurloz was with him at the time, as the only eye witness. And of course it's impossi8le to get any relia8le information out of him. I guess we may never know, sadly.

This does say quite a lot, but not really anything specific. We've got some stuff about how he's the session's Cassandra, the fact that the GAoH was NOT an accident (this is the misconception that pisses me off the most, I think - I hate when people call it an accident), the fact that he was protecting everyone from something... The fact that he DOES remember it, the fact that Kurloz was there, as the only eye witness, and refuses to talk about it.

It leaves plenty of room for speculation. A little too much room for me, honestly, but that's fine, I'm not really pressed about it.

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[mdhwrites]

I saw a post a while ago lambasting Amphibia for having its characters 'do the most horrendous shit imaginable' for the sake of comedic plots and get off far too easily for it. In their view, Amphibia took slapstick comedy way 'too far' sometimes. I thought this was quite hyperbolic; the protagonists made serious mistakes, but rarely anything I'd call unforgivable, especially since they'd almost always show a level of remorse. But it did make me think about the way immoral acts are portrayed in comedic shows, and how we, as viewers, can tolerate and forgive things we probably wouldn't in real life because of the way these acts are presented to us.

I mean, think about Hop-Pop using mind control on Anne, Sprig and Polly in Children of the Spore. If anything like that happened to you in real life, chances are you wouldn't react to someone violating your body and mind by shrugging your shoulders and going 'well, guess we pushed you pretty far.' You'd probably beat the shit out of HP and never talk to him again. But that episode is kinda self-aware about the awfulness of it all (which I love). Polly flat-out says the old frog crossed all kinds of ethical and moral lines XD

Going back to the whole 'too far' accusation, though, I'm pretty sure we're smart enough to understand the difference between a silly frog show and real-life crimes. I don't think there needs to be super realistic consequences to everything (as the post I mentioned was suggesting) when your focus is on writing a slice-of-life fantastical comedy. I guess the only real argument you could make is 'but it's teaching kids to forgive absolutely atrocious, unforgivable things!' And...maybe? But I'm pretty sure any kid with their head screwed on straight understands not to replicate or forgive immoral behaviour too easily.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think characters doing awful things for the sake of comedy or plot can go too far, in that they can unintentionally make characters far too heinous to sympathize with, or do you think complaints like those of the post I mentioned above are a result of taking something far too seriously? Is there even such a thing as 'too far' when it comes to slapstick comedy?

So let's talk about intent, tone and framing because these things REALLY matter to a story. It's actually part of the problem with fandoms wanting everything to be realistic, darker, etc. because they're really asking for one thing: For them to all be the same. To not be what they are because, you know, the fact that these are comedy cartoons for kids MATTERS.

But first let's actually shift gears AWAY from cartoons for a second to talk about things being genuinely irredeemable for comedy. MANY people are really against prank style reality tv because it preys so completely on human suffering. Because these people are doing terrible things to just normal people. I personally don't like the premise... But I like Impractical Jokers. That show frames it DEMONSTRABLY more about terrible things happening to these four friends, by these four friends, and usually the worst they do to others is leave them a little confused or a bit uncomfortable. One of the big elements to changing this is that all the challenges are effectively dares. Someone either commits to the bit or if it becomes too much, they dip out but they are ALLOWED to dip out, minus the final jokes which are always pretty much purely at the Joker's expense.

Are these four people bad people? No. But part of why we also know that is because it's television and they're doing it to entertain as part of being comedians. Bizarrely enough, a lot of modern cartoon fandoms seem to want to act like fiction IS reality. It's where you get people going "Oh, you're being so cruel to a 14 year old, nuerodivergent girl!" and me going "I'm being critical of a character in a narrative. Can you please stop telling me, an actual human being in the real world, to kill myself because of a fictional character?"

Because shock of all shocks, PEOPLE CAN TELL REALITY FROM FICTION! In fact, even kids can! The fucking video game industry had to go through this hell HARD to prove that killing people in a video game is not the same as having psychopathic tendencies in the real world. Do you know how many kids play CoD? And those kids are fine. At least most of them.

So with all of that preamble out of the way: When can a morality focused show fuck up?

It's actually incredibly rarely in the terrible things the characters do because the show USUALLY addresses these elements as part of the moral of the day.

For the example given of Hop Pop's mind control, it is shown as... Eerie to put it mildly. Even from go, Hop Pop only enjoys it so long as he doesn't have to interact with it. It is never framed as a positive besides a bit selfishness. However, Hop Pop is a good enough person to show genuine remorse and try to fix this. He puts in a lot of effort, is admonished as the lesson of the day is learned to not try to control people and to potentially compromise and then it MOVES. ON. Because they live in a fantasy world where anyone could die at any second. A day of none thoughts is not actually that big of a deal, especially since it wasn't done out of malice or even really on purpose. It's a part of the fun of the setting and of the fantasy genre as a whole that you can just do these weird concepts like this and move on because magic happens sometimes. You might grumble for a day or two but hey, at least it was your neighbor and not the king, am I right!? Hail King Andrias.

A big part of this though, and why so many morality driven shows can have characters do terrible things without imparting the wrong lessons, is because it's addressed. Pretty much explicitly. It is framed as wrong, addressed as wrong and then fixed because it was WRONG. Even if it gives momentary gain, that gain is almost always also included in being wrong.

It's actually a formula that Amphibia purposefully breaks for an episode, carrying it over from directly the one before, because there genuinely was one crime committed that hadn't been addressed and by the time it was, that sin had grown to a point where it was too reasonable to have a character still be mad to ignore it: The music box. Hop Pop hiding it is actually an AWFUL thing to do because it dooms Anne, it means her parents will never get closure, dooms the rest of Anne's friends, etc. etc. Hop Pop has to be okay with Anne never quite being fully happy because of always wanting to go home while also living with this false hope that he implanted into her. A trust he has not earned because of the lie.

So even after they theoretically have their morality episode about the box, Amphibia takes this time for such a PERSONAL attack on Anne to stick with her for another episode during The First Temple. It actually acknowledges that you don't get over everything immediately. That sometimes you need space. I don't even like that episode but the break in formula is actually meant to make the message more powerful, and does so successfully, especially because the crime was different. It wasn't of indifference or something quickly fixed. It was of long term AGONY and a complete breach in trust that would make one question what relationship they can have with another person. There's pretty much zero other crimes in the show like that besides Sasha/Marcy's betrayals, which aren't treated as easy fixes, and Andrias' betrayal is the heel turn that makes him the primary antagonist. These crimes, these personal, genuinely awful things to do to other people that could be replicated, unlike so much of the fantasy violence, are usually seen as something you do have to work on. It's a great, nuanced take on being a morality one off show while also being able to elevate some issues to being dealt with more seriously and consistently.

Also, quick note from someone on my Discord: They NEED to do bad things in order to teach! They are meant to be the bad example so when their actions lead to things going wrong, you understand not to copy that behavior. This is honestly storytelling 101 for most... Plots. Not just morals but plots. If the characters do NOTHING, nothing happens and nothing will be learned.

You want a show that will teach kids bad lessons and then reinforce there are no consequences for those? WELCOME TO THE OWL HOUSE! Specifically: The show that tells you to lie and keep secrets because your fear justifies keeping them!

I know that sounds shitty but like... Luz is the main character. For half of the show, she is portrayed as the second most moral character in the show behind Willow. She admonishes stealing, cheating, etc. as her contrast with Eda. Then after Yesterday's Lie... She literally can't stop lying and never faces consequences for it.

The closest actually comes in Falls and Follies where Amity at least forces a promise out of Luz to be more open with her. This actually though doesn't fix the problem, it just makes it WAY WORSE because one of the main targets of these lies, that kids can easily replicate, especially because Luz is almost always lying about things that might upset others which is the most common thing kids will lie about, is Amity. So now we have both lying and breaking promises. You know, two of the most basic morals any kids show should impart on the audience!

In Reaching Out though, Amity gets a little mad but then it's excused because of her dad! In Thanks to Them, no one gives a shit that Luz has been keeping secrets and lying for months. Camila makes sure Luz DOESN'T tell her friends the truth either about her plans. You know, Luz's MOM who should want her daughter to be an honest person. The show then constantly keeps cutting Luz off from telling anyone anything because it literally can't without revealing how bullshit what she's doing is until by the end of the show... Luz hasn't been punished in any way and the lies just... Drift away.

Completely unaddressed.

This causes a problem because while the lies theoretically hurt Luz... They hurt less than losing her friends. Hurt less than disappointing a parent. Hurt less than making her look bad. And this is the main character. The one kids are supposed to connect with the most. The one who usually most explicitly defines the morality of a show. And she is never punished or stopped from all. Of. Her. Lies.

(As a note: This is also how you get a lot of guys taking the wrong lessons from anime perverts. Sure, this guy gets smacked but he never loses his friends. Never faces real consequences. In return... He gets way more ass than the main character does, doesn't he? *gags violently*)

THAT is how you impart bad morals. It's not surprising to me that the fandom for TOH hides behind excuses so much for their show because their literal main character was justified, in fiction, to have all of the terrible things she did, all the choices she didn't have to make or the people she discarded, because she ALWAYS had an excuse. And so long as you have an excuse, by what TOH says, you can get away with fucking anything.

And mind you, that last part is NOT Luz specific. Have a bad uncle? Don't worry Hunter, the fact that you literally hunt, oppress and potentially kill wild witches can be entirely forgotten and ignored. Have a mean mommy? Don't worry Amity, we literally never have to properly address the literal years of bullying you did to another character or even how attempting to kill Luz was wrong. Collector? COME ON! You just had bad friends/family so now you just need good ones and we can forget all about you oppressing people for fucking months!

This isn't addressing these problems. These are excuses. And excuses can seem REALLY appealing to people. After all, how many hide awful acts or statements behind: "Come on, it was just a joke." Shields are useful for trying to avoid criticism after all. If you never acknowledge you were in the wrong, you don't have to feel bad for having done something mean, let alone terrible.

Just to bring it back to Amphibia: Sasha tries to do this. She believes she knows best so she feels justified in all she does because it will make everyone the happiest, at least in her own eyes. Then in Turning Point, she realizes the folly of her ways, addresses that she was a terrible person and plants her foot down FIRM. No more acting the part of protector while actually being a tyrant. She will risk her very life in order to right these wrongs. And we see it also in Commander Anne where she is taking the change seriously. These are two half episodes, a single episode in full, that lets us know that her actions were inexcusable and that they were wrong and now she is allowed to be a part of the good guys now that she has made sure the audience knows that they can look to her as an example.

One full episode to ADDRESS the fact that what Sasha did was wrong and to not excuse it but to learn from it.

That's why all these terrible things protagonists do in shows is fine. They learn from it. They genuinely regret their actions. They show the audience why they shouldn't have done it. It's never okay to the show that they did. Not that it can't be forgiven, because people should be allowed the chance to grow, but that it still wasn't okay.

For a kid's show, that is pitch perfect. It's why moral of the day storytelling exists and I can't really think of any huge errors in this department on Amphibia's side. It's pretty damn good at smacking someone over the head when they act like a jackass. At bare minimum, there are WAY worse examples out there.

======+++++======

This is absolutely one of those criticisms that has me look at the person making it and go "Just admit you don't like cartoons. Or children's media in general probably." Admittedly, there's actually plenty of adult stuff just as childish, no one stays mad in Family Guy, so it's probably just "You don't like cartoons." It's the sort of bad faith criticism that just reveals you as not having actually wanted the product but whatever you thought the product should be.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[nerves-nebula]

I sometimes get uncomfortable around arguments about if certain characters are abusive or not- obviously I see this the most with 2012 tmnt and nobody really needs my opinion but I keep thinking about it so here’s some words to chew on.

Keep in mind I haven’t seen much of 2012 so I’ll mostly be talking about the WAY I see these discussions being had here, rather than the show itself.

I doubt the creators intended for the turtles to be abusive and I kind of just assume that everything they do is within the genre of slapstick kids show. But I also don’t think people who cringe away from the way they treat each other are reading too much into it.

I’ve seen people argue that ppl who think the brothers are abusive just don’t have siblings and that’s an insane take to me. Obviously its probably hyperbole in some instances but as someone with more siblings than most of the people I know, I 100% see the abuse reading of this series. It’s a very obvious idea to latch onto for me as someone who HAS been abused by my siblings- and who’s probably been abusive too.

The main thing that really gets under my skin is when people point out how much the turtles actually care about each other as evidence against abuse. Cause that doesn’t make any sense ??? you can abuse people you love and care about deeply.

And it really rubs me the wrong way when I see a post that’s like Raph can’t be abusive because he does X nice/cute things with Mikey or something like. That’s not how abuse works. You guys have to know that right?? Abuse isn’t just a person being mean 24/7 without pause.

A bit of a tangent coming up, but growing up, I really hated Mabel from gravity falls. not because she is inherently any more annoying or selfish or anything than other characters but because the way she treated dipper was extremely triggering for me as a child with a lot of anxiety. Like if Mabel was real and my sibling, I would’ve considered a lot of the shit she did abusive. Obviously I’m normal about her now cause I’m not 12 anymore but the biggest hurdle about watching that show when I was younger was that I would sometimes be brought to tears of frustration, imagining how scared and distressed I’d be if Mabel did that shit to me.

THE POINT of this tangent is that saying “the 2012 turtles aren’t abusive because I do that stuff with my siblings all the time/cause teenage boys are just like that” isn’t a genuine critique because abuse isn’t just about the action it’s about the relationship. Punching your sibling who’s actually ok with being punched isn’t abuse. Punching your sibling who really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW would be genuinely upset by being punched? That is abuse.

And I find it annoying because I think we’re all aware that abuse was likely not the intent of the show. (Probably not even the text of the show but once again can’t say for sure) Maybe some dysfunction for drama, but probably not abuse, so you’re really just arguing against someone’s headcanon/personal interpretation of this show. And it’s like.. ok you have a different reading cool I guess.

In the show they aren’t treated as abusive, but fandoms are built around exploring different aspects of art that weren’t explored in canon. So I guess idk why this is a big deal.

Idk I think people have this idea that abusive = evil and always wrong. But abuse is just someone hurting you repeatedly and refusing to stop for whatever reason.

And with a show like 2012 where it’s all played for laughs it can be hard to tell if that’s how they are with each other because they’re ok with it or if that’s how they are cause they don’t know any other way. The turtles are kind of really mean in 2012, and wether that’s a familiarity kind of meanness or not is up to you in fandom, yknow?

Does Mikey actually consider Raph hitting him as like a fun part if their banter or is he coping with jokes about being physically abused? You decide! Like genuinely it can be either and I think that’s fun!

I mean obviously you all know what i’d pick, but that’s because I’m blissfully aware of what I want out of stories and what i want is nuanced discussions of abuse.

Personally, I acted very similarly to the 2012 turtles when living with my siblings, but I didn’t actually fucking like it. It was a defense mechanism because being genuine would only be met with ridicule. So I’m not inclined to agree that it’s fine because it’s just what they do.

Once again though, I doubt it was on purpose. And if you don’t think that they’re abusive then congrats! The show probably doesn’t either! So I just don’t see why people get super upset about it. Don’t you love that someone got a different story out of the same media??

Anyway obviously it doesn’t super matter and I don’t really have a horse in this race. I just got a bit annoyed with the way abuse is discussed and as a hobbyist Abuse Analyst I thought I’d weigh in.

I wrote this instead of going to sleep and it’s sooo late and also so much longer that I meant for it to be… y’all better not have bad takes in response or I’ll be annoyed as hell tomorrow morning, guh.

[livseses]

Oopsies! We didn't manage to get our thoughts written up before this post went quiet.

@sysmedsaresexist I hope it's okay to tag you on this, if not, we'll go ahead and delete (feel free to DM us)

We wanted to thank y'all for taking the time to indulge our curiosity. We really appreciated it! Genuinely.

We started to get defensive about endogenic communities with Signal and Quill, but

they don’t speak their personal experiences as if they’re gospel truth for all systems

Uh... yeah. We needed to do that. We've had wonderful experiences from plural spaces and bad ones from CDD spaces. But, that's our experience. It'd be shitty of us to get all confrontational and try to tell y'all how to feel about your experiences with those spaces.

And I think that we generally agree on a whole hell of a lot. Some of that defensiveness came from the just ridiculousness of universalizing. Like, we personally find soulbonding and tulpamancy stuff to be really helpful. We'll share that fact and recommend it when asked, but saying that every system needs to do these things to improve their system is absurd! It seems so obviously absurd to us that it felt hyperbolic. But like, that's us trying to speak our personal experiences as gospel truth.

We're going to be a bit more careful with sharing the things that help us. We already do it for how DBT helps us, CBT hurts us, and why, for instance. Or the limitations we've encountered with EMDR. If tulpamancy is another kind of therapy for us, well, we should be more cognizant of those pros and cons.

Really liked Robo's answer (feel free to DM us if you wanna chat more in depth)! We could go on about some of our speculating about plurality, trauma, and CDDs. We'll save that for another time though :D

A phrasing Robo used though really sticks out:

"endogenic CDDs" are a completely separate concept from "endogenic systems with CDDs."

This bit of nuance I think gets lost in the mix often enough. And it leads to a lot of the confusion, misinfo, and hostility. We've seen a lot of the "welllll technically" kind of counter hypotheticals brought up. While we're inclined agree with those, it's a bit of nuance that can really muddy the water.

Maybe to build on what Robo said about it never being clear cut and easy to understand: Aspects of a person/system's experience aren't always separable into neat categories. Maybe one person feels that some trait or behavior they have comes from their performance of gender, and another says the exact same things come from their neurotype. Our ADHD messes with our memory and so does our DID. From the inside, at the internal experience level, it's hard, if not impossible, to fully separate them.

And Dude, we're really glad you have these mods to support you, and really glad to see your attitude of self-determination. We love to see it and hope more people can adopt it.

I've posted from the beginning about how a lot of things that endogenic systems talked about were actually really normal in DID systems. [...] it's unfortunate that sometimes this confuses systems that are still learning.

This is kinda why we asked this question, or maybe why that question is on our mind a lot in conversations about plurality. We flip flopped a lot after our syscovery as to how we viewed ourselves. Folks saying that the two are so utterly different that there's zero overlap. Folks saying that the things you mentioned can't ever happen in CDD systems, and in turn, that we should keep out of CDD spaces.

(We personally have some hesitancy on the reliance of "hard" tests for mental health stuff. Something about a concern that those tests will have false negatives. But we can talk about that more elsewhere if you're interested in continuing that conversation.)

But thank you for taking the time to answer this ask regardless. We really appreciate it, and we hope others do too. We hope that information gets out there and more folk can balance that attitude of self-determination with understanding their own experiences aren't universal.

(Again, if you'd rather not have this post around, let us know and we'll remove it)

[fearowkenya]

fine!!! I guess I'll do all the work around here myself and write the Chadley skywheel date we were robbed of!!! fine!!!!!!!! i guess you can see my preliminary notes about it!!!!!!!!!!!!

disclaimer & tip: no im not actually mad, no i dont actually think we were robbed, yes im aware that im maybe 1 of perhaps 18 people who even wanted this (and that at least 1 of those people are a stack of raccoons in a trench coat), no i cant tell you if/when an actual published version of this would be posted, I'm 15k into a fic about yuffie being concussed that was supposed to be a quick joke oneshot, the posting timeline of this idea is between my adhd and god; i have absolutely no say in it

why do you want this

1) i love chadley

2) i just am hyperbolically miserable that he is present at gold saucer both times you're there and hes ALONE!!!!!!!

3) if you go talk to him as cloud during Costa del amor he is SAD that he didnt participate

ok so we are off to a rough start because there are (at least!!) two directions I could take a Chadley skywheel date that i think would be fun and interesting.

the first one is Chadley & cloud - this is fun to me because Chadley clearly holds a ton of admiration for cloud that while genuine is really only surface-level, and I think thats fun to explore. also chadleys stupidly obvious crush is adorable even though it has no chance of being reciprocated. idk it would jsut be cute and sweet and I cant stop thinking about it

the second one is the one I'm actually more likely to write because I think theres a lot more untapped potential there. i like to call it Cool Teen Squad and it's skywheel date but what if it was Chadley & yuffie & nanaki running around an amusement park unsupervised

hey what are you gonna do about loveless?

what a good question. I'm not sure because cloud&chadley loveless would be different from teen squad loveless , but theres 1 thing that would be the same for both of them and that is Chadley as rosa. this is non-negotiable. if rebirth is not going to overtly connect the dots between That Line Chadley Says In Response To Seeing Cloud At Wall Market During Remake and Why MAI Looks The Way She Does, then hand me a god damned pencil im doing it myself!!!!!! Chadley is going to be so pretty and have a wonderful time!!!

anyway cloud & chadley loveless is pretty easy , everything stays the same with Chadley as rosa and cloud is going to be nice about it. everyone is going to be nice about it.

Cool Teen Squad loveless has me a little torn because theres two fun avenues that i think are worth exploring

1) yuffie as alphreid, chadley as rosa, with nanaki as an extra protagonist idk id have to think about how to justify an entire extra role. that's a problem for future me, I'm too busy thinking about how much fun yuffie would have in big dramatic knight role with a big stupid sword. also she would look so cool

since Nanaki isn't there to be garm or whatever I'm volunteering Vincent instead. not galian beast, just Vincent as himself. barret stays as-is, I think him and Vincent vs the Teens is really cute and funny 

2) yuffie and Nanaki (admittedly mostly yuffie) get to be so annoying about (gently!!!!) teasing chadley about his crush on cloud and it is compounded by loveless , where cloud stays alphreid, chadley is rosa , nanaki stays garm, but yuffie replaces barret as varvados . you cant tell me she wouldnt have SO MUCH FUN being the villain

other ideas for Chadley skywheel date

Chadley & cloud:

- chadley explaining the mechanics of the skywheel in excruciating detail with cloud listening intently

- mai being annoying directly in chadleys ear but cloud cannot hear her

- 2v2 queens blood with cloud and Chadley working together. this would give opportunity to pull in some of the other characters to cameo since they'd need ppl to play against. (how would 2v2 co-op queens blood even work?? who cares , it would be fun) (except now I'm trying to figure out how it would work mechanically. hmm. an idea for me to chew on later)

cool teen squad:

- yuffie badgering Chadley into hacking the gold saucer games for maximum gp, (idk if Nanaki would condone this or not , might be funny if he did?) and then being chased around by the exhausted underpaid arcade employee.

- a friend and I talked about what Chadley would look like in combat and it might be fun to play around with those ideas via Cool Teen Squad goes to the battle square. I dont have any concrete ideas at this time but it would let me think about synergy attacks with Chadley and i think that could be super fun

- the three of them complaining about annoying shit adults say to them , Chadley laughing and having a nice time in the skywheel car with yuffie and Nanaki while they do bad impressions of idk, cloud being a stick in the mud??

much to think about as you can see!!! and much more I've probably not even considered !!! ideas & other ppls thoughts welcome, there's really so many possibilities and i invite others in joining me in not being normal about any of them <3

[justacanofcorn]

Vigil (Francis Crozier x NB!OC) Preview

This post is a preview/ temperature taker for this fic. My biggest musing is whether to keep it 3rd person or make it 2nd. Either way, mc is non-binary named Bronte. Please enjoy the preview and let me know what you think! Fic below cut.

~~~~~~

Bronte followed James Fitzjames like a dog, and they would have no part in denying it. That's what happens, as Bronte could tell anyone, when you devote yourself to a person completely, and Bronte did, to a very definitive fault. They told James they'd follow him to the ends of the earth; it was considered hyperbole until they actually did.

It was a difficult sell to Sir John Franklin for a great number of reasons. One, Bronte's rank among the men at Singapore had been disputed, despite the fact that they had gone with James from boat to boat, shore to shore, war to war, all the while assuming whatever identity helped them survive and, by promised association, helped James survive. The second reason was the more obvious one: the thing everyone immediately wondered about Bronte, the thing they refused to speak on, because what did it matter? It didn't matter to them, and it didn't affect their marksmanship, or their success as a sailor and soldier.

Bronte and James both knew that if they could convince Sir John to take Bronte, no one would dare question it aloud. Once it became clear that Sir John wanted James, Bronte was all but guaranteed. Because, as much as Bronte followed James, James wanted to go nowhere without them.

Bronte was given no official rank among the Admiralty, which bothered them none. John knew of their exploits, and James would see to it that they got what they were due. It gave Bronte as much comfort as it needed to.

The first time Bronte saw Sir John Franklin, Francis Crozier, and James Clark Ross was not the first time they'd meet them. That date would come later, when they would set sail for the Arctic passage. The night in question came in 1844 at the London Royal Opera House. Bronte sat comfortably in the Admiralty Box, the political implications of which they were blithely aware of, with James, Sir John Barrow, and his son, George. Bronte liked them well enough. A play was being put on about the group of men in the box opposite theirs. It seemed a bit on the nose for Bronte, to tribute someone when they're still alive. Sir John looked at these men thoughtfully.

“Come spring, the Admiralty is going to make one of those men very happy.”

From their seat next to James, Bronte watched as George gave James a knowing smile, and James returned a doubtful, albeit genuine one. He had a right to be doubtful because James had about as much a chance at leadership as they themself did. Where for Bronte it was a matter of appearance, for James, it was a matter of breeding.

“Father means the Passage,” said George. “He thinks it's time to try again-”

“It's high time. I want to see it found while I still live,” Sir John cut in.

A broad, important looking man in the aforementioned box stood and bowed as he was cued to by the actor on stage. Sir John nodded.

“I do not jest when I say the future of Britain very likely sits somewhere up in that box,” he mused. Bronte cast a side glance to James who was, while presumably defeated, as stone faced as ever. He had grown accustomed to second-best since childhood. Bronte, even in their often casual and perhaps uncaring nature, was not too ignorant to deny that their attitude would never hold them back from station. The highest they could climb was always rungs below James. It was a good thing, for both of them, that Bronte did not seek power.

What Bronte wanted was adventure and a death in glory, if James would permit it. Bronte lived to keep James alive. A promise was made, and Bronte would have rather died than see that promise go to ruin. Little did anyone know that the Arctic that called them, the one everyone raced to, would render that promise, and so many others, broken beyond repair.

[desire-mona]

for those that are blissfully unaware, tiktok is becoming the new 2014 tumblr in terms of eating disorders and trends that revolve around trying to make people insecure about normal human body parts. can't pinpoint exactly when it started, im theorising around when y2k started to come back in fashion. but it's gotten to a point where people are outright putting a heavy emphasis on the fact that being skinny is superior? i guess?

influencers are posting about their horrendous diets in the form of "what i eat in a day" videos, but some go as far as to outright talk about their disordered eating in a glamorous way while doing their makeup and showing off their body.

the parts of the body that these people deem as ugly are frankly shocking for lack of a better word. people have been making up insecurities about the most mundane, essentially universal features of the human body. im not even sure how to word this because it's so ridiculous to explain out loud (im using voice to text rn). to name a couple: nose gap, which is the space between the bottom of your nose and your top lip (there should be a space there, by the way.) strawberry legs, which are the dots on your legs where the hair follicles are? im not even entirely sure because its just something on my body that ive never paid attention to.

the "micro insecurities" have gone so far that somebody essentially made the "toothpasting" of the modern day?? LMAO 

during a rant video, @ superkeara made up (what was intended to be) a hyperbolic version of one of these pseudo-insecurities, dubbed "vuvuzela arms." vuvuzela arms are when the top of your arm is bigger than your forearm, also known as how an arm works, that was the joke. but people took it seriously, not in that they straight up missed the joke, but more the fact that shit in this vein is so inherently ridiculous that it fit in with its more genuine counterparts. and i would find it much more funny if it weren't something that people actually found a way to be insecure about. i generally like tiktok as a platform but its main user base is becoming concerning.

to add: people also make videos saying that "we need to normalise (whatever pseudo insecurity they're talking about)" or "(whatever pseudo insecurity they're talking about) is sexy" which i suppose is vaguely better because they're encouraging people to like these parts of themselves? but at the same time, please stop making a thing of something that is nowhere even close to the blast radius of a thing.

i've known about the re-rise of eating disorder culture and fatphobia on tiktok for a bit over a year now, but i wasnt actually aware of how deeply ingrained its become, especially among kids. even with ozempic specifically, i thought it was a lot less mainstream and stayed within the sphere of LA influencers with podcasts. but no, random teenagers (and potentially younger) are trying / wanting to go on blood thinners to get skinnier.

if any of my following spends a majority of time on tiktok and sees these videos as something to take to heart: please don't listen when beauty influencers tell you that a part of your body is something that needs to be fixed. if you thought it was normal your entire life, and now somebody is making up a term to tell you that it isn't, youre probably the right one in this situation. a gap between your nose and your lips, dots on your legs, and whatever the fuck vuvuzela arms are, theyre all fine and should not be put on the same level as wisdom teeth or an appendix. 

and before anyone points it out, i know that fatphobia has never fully gone away, that much is obvious. but there is certainly a lot more now compared to 3-5 years ago, especially on tiktok, and ESPECIALLY targeted towards kids.

[isthisrealliiife]

On Lies I Didn't Know Were Lies

Hi everyone <3 I'm just gonna get straight to what if you're reading this, you most likely want to know about:

I did not mean to lie about posting the next chapter of an echo, a stain in July.

I have NOT abandoned an echo, a stain. 

It will be a minute before I recover my mojo.

And now, for those of you with vague interest in details, a bit more explanation:

By the time I graduated my program, finished my practicum, completed the requirements for certification, got my paperwork sorted, and was finally done, it was mid-July, and I was hardcore job hunting.

Great news! I got a job! As a school librarian! With a non-heinous commute!

So once I got that job, I ended up sleeping for more like nearly a month than a week, because apparently being sick for 10 months and then trying to accomplish every academic, professional, and personal goal you'd meant to achieve during that time while also tryna figure out how to pay rent with no income really fucks with your stamina.

Then I had a bunch of trainings to go to, and visits to fam and friends I hadn't seen in a year, and started my new job.

For those of you uninitiated in the agony and the ecstasy of being a K-12 teacher, this lands me in the DEVOLSON. (The Dark, Evil Vortex Of Late September, October, and November. Google it. It's a brilliant thing that I did not come up with but that is absolutely fucking true.)

The beginning of a new school year is fuckin' NUTS. I can't describe it. It's too much. Suffice it to say that even when you're returning to a school you've been teaching at for years in a position/at a level you've been doing for years, the beginning of the school year is always overwhelmingly busy and hectic and involves more pivots than every runway walk at New York Fashion Week combined. Starting a new job in a new position at a new school in conjunction with this is ... loooooooool. Anyway it's great, it's been great, I love my new job and my new school and my new students but when I tell you every iota of energy, creativity, mental acuity, and basic capacity to accomplish anything has been completely absorbed by my job, it's really not hyperbole lol. But, as my fellow New Jerseyan and hair band charmer Jon Bon Jovi would say, "we're halfway there." Sort of.

I'm not even going to try to predict when the next chapter of an echo, a stain will drop, and I won't make any promises.

What I will say is that with any luck, things will calm down in December and settle into far chiller rhythms. I'm gonna play me some Dragon Age: the Veilguard, sorry not sorry but I been waiting for that fucking game for ten years and for good or for ill, I need to KNOW.

Once that settles, it's probable I'm going to feel some inspo for a story I've neglected for even longer than aeas (WAY longer, in fact) and hopefully finish that fuckin thing or at least figure out where I want to go with it. After THAT (or possibly concurrent with that, tbh), I will return to aeas, whose place in my heart is precious and undiminished.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. If you're pissed and are like "fuck your excuses!"

well... I mean, I feel bad about disappointing you, because I genuinely do appreciate people's investment in the story and understand the anguish of waiting for a chapter/ending that seems like it will never come, but also... damn, you don't gotta be mean about it looool.

Unfortunately, we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and so I have to work a lot and pretty hard to barely scrape by and I'm still recovering from being sick for a long time, so I only have so much capacity to do stuff. It's growing, but it's limited, so here we are! I am sorry for having fallen off, though. I really hadn't expected to.

But never fear, I'll be back -- and more importantly, so will aeas. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared by having been away so long, and worried that I won't be able to live up to the ambitions I had for the story, but that's not holding me back or anything. I'd rather try and fail than leave it hanging in the breeze unfinished.

It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well and that life throws some joy at you.

Also listen I am SERIOUSLY not gonna lie but if shit goes awry on that first Tuesday in November, it's gonna take me a minute to reconcile myself with all that. Just sayin'.

OK that's it I hope to be writing again sooner rather than later but thanks for even reading this if you have. <3

[strawberrynightmere]

I have made this post simply to vent about three characters from Philomel the Fake / There is no place for the fake princess.

Warnings include: an ungodly amount of complaining, child abuse, the effects it has, and spoilers for the manhwa/novel (but I'll try to be as vague as possible, or you could do the sensiblething and not read this post if you don't wanna get spoiled) and so much swearing that it would make Vivian Medrano say "tone it down" (hyperbole, also a lot of that too).

How can one hate fictional characters to the point of just wanting to punch them in the face whenever one sees them? Now, there were a few instances where I was like, "Yeah, understandable," but that was only one character pre fandome, but three? In one fandom? (Technically more, but most are unimportant to me as they get what's coming to them), and all three of them are the protagonists' parents?

Now, let's start with the least worse because this one is tame compared to the other two.

French Gumm Wizard. You pulled the short end of the stick in the Manhwa Shitty Naming Poll (tm), and I pity you, but only a little beraly existent bit. The sole reason for you having 4 different fucking kids with 4 different fucking women (in the most biblical possible way) just for the purpose of a god fucking dammed experiment is mind-boggling to me and the fact that you forgot about the fourth child because once that pregnant woman was out of sight she was also out of mind for you.

Now, anyone who knows his character knows he's a fucking phycopath, and this is not a hyperbole, he genuinely is a phycopath.

He is a terrible parent because of the 3 kids he was aware of existed think of him as an anoying-ass colleague who, if they saw walking their direction, they would immediately teleport to their ass to the othe side of the rode just not to be in his close vicinity. And if they had the power, they would choke him to death, but murder is illegal, and they would be the prime suspects.

The moment you met the daughter you forgot about, you asked if she needed money? Like, alright, it's not like there were people coming to you for that, but for fuck sake, that's a fifteen-year-old that ran away from the imperial castle, she might've stole something from there so she could be well off.

But good for you for feeling bad for the first time in your fucked up life and trying to atone to her, and wanting her to move in the tower with you and the sons even though she didn't have magic. However, you need to draw a line somewhere when it comes to murder. It's one thing to kill someone who planned to harm/kill Philomel, but it's another thing wanting to kill someone who Philomel has been on good terms with.

Now, this bastard, the reason Philomel had to mask her personality during her childhood, that the mask ended up being a part of her in her teenage years. Eustis, it's the name of a terrible man who abuses a dog with anxiety, and the only reason he's married is because his wife pitied him (ifykyk).

There is a lot to unbox about his character, but none of that can excuse what a burning pile of trash he was to Philomel.

Oh, he was just a child when his half siblings wanted to kill him for a decorative piece of metal that indicates that you're a monarch of a country.

That doesn't excuse the way he treated his assumed daughter.

Oh, but he was sad his wife died. Besides, Philomel didn't look like either of them.

But did she deserve the kind of treatment since she was a newborn? And did anyone hear of recessive genes? Oh, right, this is a fucking fictional world so recessive genes are a non existent thing.

But what about the things he did for Philomel?

Philomel doesn't remember the limited times that he wasn't a gaping asshole to her, and she has a photographic memory or used to have because when she discovered that he fait was gonna be at the guillotine was the moment she realized nobody actually cared about her or even loved her for who she was.

But Philomel committed crimes!

Look at this child!

Look at this nine-year-old who just discovered her own future just because of a baby swap that she was not guilty of. And tell me that she deserved it! Tell me that she deserved getting punished just because she was being a child!

Eustis knew she was at the door of his office when he said he wanted her to be quiet like a dead rat! And yet he was surprised when those exact words came to bite him in the ass at full force?

That burning pile of shit did not deserve Philomel, nor does he deserve his biological daughter. If the baby swap never happened, I doubt he would've ever been a good father to her.

And now for the scum who started all of this.

This delusional ass bitch that would make me advocate against women's wrongs!

You're gonna tell me that the reason for not only Philomel's abuse but also Elencia's is because this nutbag has a thing for men with dark hair?

This crazy-ass cunt that agreed with the experiment that Le Gummdrop was doing, ran away from the mage tower, heeding the safety warning and going to the empress who she worked under in her youth and was on friendly terms with, only to swap the babies when the empress died due to childbirth and booked out of the empire right into the woods because she was attacked to the emperor?

Now, she might've felt guilty for it, but that didn't stop her from throwing things near Elencia, almost hitting the girl and screaming at her. Believe it or not, that's abuse.

And yet this mentally unwell trash had the nerve to yell at Philome to leave them alone because she loved Elencia like an actual daughter.

This pure girl!

This pure soul that she kidnapped and abused. This child who cleaned up after this grown ass woman's temper tantrums.

All because she was physically attracted to her father.

I don't care what shitty excuse someone could pull out of their ass to defend her. It won't excuse the crimes she has committed.

No amount of garbage manhwa parents would ever top these three for me.

[beautifulhigh]

Would I be stupidly petty if I started to "give back" what I'm getting at work?

Context: each team should have contacts to access two external systems. I have access to System A on my team, someone else has access to System B. To support the new teams while they got themselves up and running, I agreed to be a short-term contact for system A until they got their own access, and they had an external contact for System B.

System A is used WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more than B (in fact, almost every case could need System A, B is much more sporadic) and there's a lot more information and detail on A that needs to be relayed with a request. So it takes time. Not masses of it, but anywhere between 2-5 minutes per request.

Months on, I am still getting requests. I am off and come back to an inbox of requests, despite me having my out of office on. It is getting to the stage where I have so many requests it's having an impact on my workload. So I start asking each requester, "who on your team is supposed to be getting access because this might need to be chased up?"

When doing these requests I ask for some specific information as it a) makes it quicker for me to do it, and b) reduces my professional risk on a whole bunch of stuff I won't go into but could genuinely and without hyperbole fuck me up professionally and result not only in me losing my job but, as the Americans say, "black balling" me for so many jobs. I have had to go back to so many people and say "hey, can I get this information?" is insane.

Today I was accused of making them feel like they can't come to me and ask me for help, and my acting-TL went into bat for me and asked if that's really what my email said and they did concede that, well, no, maybe it wasn't /meant that way, "but still..." like 'but' isn't a contrasting connective which means "ignore what I just said". Yeah, it's possible Jen wasn't being shitty and was genuinely expressing concern that this team doesn't seem to have their own access to System A and could this be looked at so it reduces the strain on her workload and time... but instead I'm going to focus on ME and well, basically, fuck the impact I'm having on someone else.

And the whole bad-faith reading is starting to really piss me off beacuse this isn't the first time it's happened.

So. Do I start "giving back" and doing bad faith readings on the messages I get? Because I really want to but I'm also pissed off.

[thecoolerliauditore]

hey why does third life Cleo need to be put in the shredder ?

genuine question by the way, I don't think I have seriously thought about third life Cledubs ever

girl help I forgot I made that post so I was just staring at that first sentence for way too long like. does she.

but uh yeah disclaimer or whatever that on this blog specifically I tend to speak more hyperbolic and don't care to fact check myself because like 99% of the time I just write words and leave. I haven't necessarily like. looked back at any of my own posts a day or so later and gone "wow okay that's just incorrect" but I do acknowledge that like. I'm really letting the interpretation/headcanon lines blur over here at times and sometimes I'll just say shit. so yeah blah blah blah none of this is gospel everything with a grain of salt etc etc

anyway cleo in the life series in general drives me a bit insane because like 85% of the time they are really cool and awesome and funny and my favourite guy but then there's the 15% of time she shares onscreen in an extended conversation with scott smahor and she suddenly becomes like. genuinely the worst person alive to me I want her prosecuted jailed death penalty'd.

In third life specifically she makes an alliance with scott behind bdubs' back called the "widows alliance" which was based on a promised partnership after their respective partners (bdubs and jimmy) died before they did. Which is like. One of the things I am mad forever about people suddenly deciding everything is Silly when it comes to the guys doing horrible shit because what the fuck, man.

I guess there is an argument to be made for the level of seriousness on Cleo's side because unlike Scott we don't get any indication that she like. genuinely expects to outlive bdubs. And she could very much just be saying words for the sake of it or have yet to completely grasp the concept of "permadeath" (like many others) but I'm still mad. Very happy she ate shit and died right after Jimmy. I'm sorry women.

I would have to rewatch 3L from cleo's POV to say this with confidence but I would also like to add that from what I recall she was also somewhat? dismissive of bdubs the whole time even though a lot of the heavy lifting in their partnership was done by him. BUT in cleo's defense she was distrusting of essentially everyone in 3L and kept everybody at arm's length ++ I'm willing to attribute this more reflective of Cleo's running theme of being insecure in her own abilities than any sign that she thinks lesser of Bdubs specifically.

Post-3L Cleo is epic and awesome in Last Life as byproduct of the fairy fort being epic and awesome and even when she eventually joins GGG it's fine because LL!Scott is the only instance of Scott feeling human emotions in this series but ohhh my god DL Cleo is a whole beast of her own I could write essays upon essays on how DL Cleo is the worst guy ever this mf sets a little puppy dog on FIRE and no one ever mentions it I'm angry forever about it.

Everything limited life onwards is fine she chills out super hard about the not trusting people thing and limlife cleo specifically is really really funny even if she would still stab bigb to death with a kitchen fork if given the opportunity. Her relationship with Bdubs is pretty much un-weirded in my head I don't think they were like. Awful in 3L even I just think that Cleo has issues with relationships in general and self-sabotages alot due to her own insecurities and so she ends up doing alot of fucked up insane person things despite not really being. Bad herself if that makes sense?

Very very shy little endnote it's also like. Interesting to me that Cleo and only Cleo refers to the 3L Cledubs partnership as like. Romantic in any sense. Cleo uses terms like "husband" very generously so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt here and say it means fuck all but idk idk something about the way Bdubs never reciprocates and instead assigns himself her son the next time they end up together is really funny to me.

Anyway yeah whatever. the shredder.

[todayisafridaynight]

Sorry about the late reply haha, but I'm absolutely thrilled to hear you enjoyed reading my last ask!

About RGGJo (I've been been calling him a variant of that for ages too, but if I ever slip up and call him Jou, it's out of habit; I like to differentiate them by RGGO and 7's different official romanizations lol), I'd actually say it's not at all hyperbolic to describe him as relaxed. If you ever have a moment, I think going through his voice lines is one of the best ways to get acquainted with his character in a short time! (Article might be a little rough, I basically speedran it all in a day just to show you lol; also a lot of them are uh........ let's say borderline flirtatious)

That said, it is much less apparent before the timeskip. To go on a bit (or a lot) of a tangent, I think that kind of relates to something I've noticed about their relationship with authority. Which is to say, it feels like they have a tendency to walk on eggshells with regard to authority figures. I think that might be the single most consistent thing between their characterizations.

You do see that directly with Arakawa, of course. It's something established really early on for both of them. You can tell right away from Jo's sheepish look when Arakawa walks in on the yubitsume fiasco or RGGJo freezing up when Arakawa walks in on the equivalent scene that he's someone they genuinely seek approval from as an authority figure. And, y'know, 7 has that micro-interaction with Arakawa only needing to put a hand on Jo's shoulder to stop him, whereas RGGO has Mitsu directly stating that the only person who's able to calm him down when he's on a rampage is Arakawa. Honorable mention to the substory where Ichi stops RGGJo from killing some guy by saying it'd put Arakawa in a bad mood.

But I think the clearest example sort-of-outside of Arakawa, one that's more insightful with regard to authority in general (since you could say of course he respects Arakawa specifically), is actually from Ryuji's RGGO story. There was a fair amount of confusion, right, because it's canon to the console timeline, but they hadn't implemented the Arakawa Family's 7 sprites, and they used the RGGO ones. So the funny thing is, I could tell right away that everyone was supposed to be their 7 selves based on characterization

I did take the time to look over all of RGGJo's voice lines from the link you provided oh my god you weren't kidding about making quick edits i checked the log date and you were making changes just a few hours ago, bless you and your work fr and yeah no, his voice lines definitely give off a different feel from Y7Jo (and definitely no joke about the more 'flirtatious' lines- evidently as someone who's mostly perceived Y7Jo it's jarring to say the least. Not that I'm complaining, it's incredibly interesting to see the difference)! It's almost funny to me how different their personalities seem, I wonder what made RGG decide to conceal his more 'playful' personality..

In regards to his relationship with authority- or I guess I want to talk more specifically about with Arakawa- the backstory each Jo has offers different avenues for explanation as to why he's so readily obedient.

I have to make a disclaimer right now and say I'm not totally caught up on Ichi's RGGO story (I stopped just after their fight on the rooftop), so maybe more background to Jo is given. Nevertheless, for RGGJo, his reasons for being obedient aren't exactly clear aside from respecting Arakawa's influence/power (as noted by his irezumi, I'm pretty sure). On that note though, I haven't seen the bit from Ryuji's story- something I'm definitely going to look into once I get some time this week (and it's neat that the Jo's are distinct enough from each other that you can discern which iteration it's supposed to be despite the sprite used: I'm excited to see that for myself!).

Inversely, the context that Arakawa has been taking care of Jo's son offers a more concrete form of an explanation as to why he's compliant. It's not bad to assume I think that Jo genuinely respects Arakawa's authority, but it's that added context that adds an extra layer to his behavior.