#like it felt gross to watch
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the muse was like,, a weird episode of ds9. the lwaxana plot was actually really good (ODO WOULD INVITE QUARK TO HIS WEDDING????) but the energy thought vampire that was weird with jake was fucked up. isnt he like?? 17 or smth??? it was just. i didnt like it. it was no good.
#had litterally the worst vibes#like it felt gross to watch#i mean the odo marriage arc was like pretty decent i think that any time lwaxana is on screen my day is brightened immensely but. i wish#that was the entire episode. and it didnt have the energy thought psycic vampire shit.#star trek#ds9#odo ds9#lwaxana troi#star trek ds9
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nice spongebob impression 🎀
#class of 09#jecka class of 09#jecka co09#co09#class of 09 art#class of 09 the flipside#co09 the flipside#the game was pretty different from the past two games…#i guess switching POVs from nicole who is famously apathetic to jecka who acts like an actual human being really does a number on the plot#horrible things happened but somehow they felt more genuinely vile and revolting than the things that happened previously#the foot thing was kinda weird but like…watching nicole kill jeffrey was the best part of the game for me LMAOAOAO#i wish we got a route where we got to know karen better though#jecka and her canonically used to be friends…#and for the love of god why was like half the dialogue just feet worship that was gross#we could have had jeckas thoughts or character development or like more dialogue with nicole (??) but instead we get mommy fetishes.#oh i loved the dialogue when jecka was crashing out with her hot topic job tho#girl really wasn’t taking anything serious SOB#nicole co09#jeckole
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I need scenes where Daryl explicitly shows that he loves Carol for all of who she is as a human. I know we know it, even though that feeling has been fading since the spin-off and even in parts of season 11. But I reallyyy need at least one scene where Daryl catches Carol doing something distinctly Carol and looks at her for a *prolonged* time with unambiguous love all over his face. And then he actively shows and tells her. Like the scenes where Aaron and Rosita see Carol putting herself through pain to kill the horse to feed Alexandria. I need to know that Daryl sees that in her. And I need to see him radiate intense love in her direction because she fucking needs it.
#i just feel like carol has spent years and years and years being the most selfless and loving human on the planet#and she has no idea how fuck beautiful of a human she is#even though her family love her they also punish her for her flaws and its gross honestly#but you know who never did that#daryl#and you know who now feels like he sometimes does that#you guessed it#and i just feel like shes trapped in this state of daryl being the only person who always loved her unconditionally and just hoping for...#for that version of him to come back again#but shes not asking for it bc she doesnt think she deserves it#but she hopes#and it feels like he isnt there for her#not really#i need her to feel loved again#even when they reunited in france it just felt like she was relieved to have found him but at terminus it was more like joy to realise...#how much he loved her#when does she get to have that again#even the shocked look she gave during “im the one you tell” when she realised he actually WANTS to be there for her i'd like that again#our man daryl just built all of this reassurance that he loves and supports her and then when shes at her most lost he withdraws it#like what the fuck#i just want carol happy so much#or just LOVED i just want her to feel truly loved#bc right now i feel like she feels like people just tolerate her#can anyone honestly tell me they watched tboc and feel like carol feels unwaiveringly loved and supported throughout that series#bc wow#silly me but i think we all deserve more than what she got there#caryl#the book of carol#tboc#carol peletier
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”having cats is so cozy :3 they’re so cute aww look at her purr aw what a sweetheart”
i’m collecting pieces of a bird into a plastic bag on this fine sunday evening
#catsitting rn for my family’s cats and like they’re not even fully outdoor cats but somehow still manage at this (the other one is actually#a good hunter & as grossed out as I am abt this I feel like a proud mom#like yes u go my lil beast#they have like a limited outdoor access but sometimes birds fly in and like she’ll get them if they do)#(good thing I've watched lots of House md recently so obv now convinced I have every parasite & bird disease etc. under the sun)#(in abt a week I'll have weird symptoms and go into a hospital and they'll think it's lupus or something until the cranky middle-aged#vicodin addicted malpractice man runs into the room and goes ''were u !! around dead birds???!!!! recently !" and that's how I won't die#I'll just have a lungful of worms or something (which is a very real episode in that show that horrified me to no end))#anyways I digress: everyone say ''good job'' to her she's a great hunter and bois we're feasting tonight! (gave them extra chicken wet food#in hopes that'll fool her into thinking that was her catch-of-the-day (felt bad abt collecting away her trophy))#july 2024#2024
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indont understand the appeal of 4chan or thr dark web honestly or even liveleak when it was still up and running ooo speaking of liveleak
#when i was younger#idk how old tho. i just know i was staying in an apartment complex#uhh#okay#so like i have this friends house id go to bc my auntie and her mom were like this i think..?#anyways so yeah i constantly went to her house and one of these days while i was over there her mom was watxhing these bideos of soldiers.#okay how do i explain this without being unnecessarily violent.#well i cant#so the soldiers would be on their knees and people would be behind them and they’d shoot the gun at their head blowing their face meat#or head like clean off#and i watched those with her bc she showed us it#and bro#i was scared and still am about seeing REAL life guns like rifels and stuff bc#it grossed me out how people could do that to others and then i felt sad bc they died#but ueah i had so many nightmares about that and its been lingering im the back of my mind for yearrss#i hope i dont get a headache like earlier for remembering this NONSENSE#brooo thag headache actually had me in SHAMBLES
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ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹
#im really trying ok :'))))#im journaling im watching youtube and doing mindfulness#im going on walks i even met up with my kinda friend yesterday#some moments im like ok maybe i'll be ok soon like#it isnt at all like i've only ever been in love for real once in my life#and i cant imagine not being that close to this person who i find absolutely amazing#but sm moments i just... feel pain 💀#bc everything reminds me of this person#like everything... the soft summer breeze makes me think of all the imaginary walks i wanted to go w this person#books i read i wanna talk to him abt... movies shows etc....#and i think of how i just blew it so badly even tho i meanwhile said 'dont ruin this dont ruin this dont ruin this'#and thats what happened..... i just cant imagine ever wanting anyone else#like just thinking abt sex or being close to anyone else makes me grossed out#and like being w someone who i feel a rush just going to the store with???#i lost smth truly rare and smth i want more than anything just bc ?? i was scared to accept love#fuck me.... im so miserable everything hurts so bad#but im trying!!!!!!!!!! i just cant feel anything and evetything feels so bleak and meaningless#he also gave me like... appreciation for everything. it's like my feelings for him made me see everything in a different light#and i felt hopeful and etc etc it doesnt matter#now all of that is gone and i just feel miserable as fuck
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- Uh...bought some nuns up on a retreat, does that help?
- Not unless they were carrying firearms.
Due South Rewatch | S01E00 ‘Pilot’ (1/67)
#the scientist speaks#FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS!!!#watching this episode actually felt like getting a hug#all the familiar dialogue#even spotted some new details#looking forward to continuing this#ds rewatch 1#my gifs#due south#paul gross#benton fraser#pilot#s01e00#trying for a gifset per episode lets see how that goes
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Last night I dreamt I was at my very 1st class of the year and we had to do like introductions or whatever and one of the questions was about movies you liked so I said "I like horror :]" and some guy sitting across from me started like bragging about watching super fucked up movies like "I can't really talk about them cause it'll freak you guys out LOL not many people can handle the stuff I watch 💪" and everyone (we were sitting in a circle) was like "OMG just tell us the name of it then" yknow trying to know what this super fucked up movie was and this guy just looks at us all smug n shit and goes "You guys probably haven't even heard of it cause it's so underground but .... it's The Conjuring 😏" and everyone freaked out like "NO WAYYYY I HEARD THAT ONE MADE PEOPLE FAINT OMG" and I just sat there looking around thinking "Where the fuck am I there's no way these people are serious" and then I woke up and breathed a sigh of relief 🫶
#diary#I think this is cause of when I watched Saltburn w/ my friends and they were all freaked out at the period blood sex scene I felt so strange#like I genuinely forgor a lot of people would get grossed out by something like that. I am all about that money after allJOKING JOKING J
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why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡
#they said i could go back to work but i did that last time and it was a pain so i took the day off#and i did a bunch of errands and Accomplished Things instead of napping which is what i wanted to do#then finally sat down to watch a movie and eat and im like....feeling guilty for not being at work#insane#to be fair the hour before i left yesterday was crazyyyy bc we had a kind of crisis#ibstayed a half hour late bc there wasnt enough coverage due to the crisis and i did my coworker's clean up for her bc she literally left#without finishing it#bc she was freaking out#crisis is one of the kids had lice lol#anyway she left without finishing her cleanup even tho the owner of the school and our boss's boss dropped by#to let us know the health department was coming thennext day (today)#and she Went Home even tho there was literally cottage cheese all over the floor wtf#anyway i was watching the kids while my supervisor bagged up all the stuffed toys and sheets and blankets etc to wash#then i did my other co teachers cleanup while my supervisor tried to do afternoon diapers but she was so late starting only 4 kids were lef#out of like 8 or 10 that probably should have been changed#so half of them went home without a final diaper change lmao#anyway#bugs 😬#i got a lice treatment shampoo and leave in conditioner but yuck#anyway i just felt really bad bc im out and they always need people but also im out on the day we're getting a ladt minute health inspectio#and i know that classroom is gross bc the cleaning crew thats supposed to come in every night has definitely not been doing that#this has been a shitpost#anyway my eye surgery hurts so bad wah 😭#its not even supposed to hurt that much but im like wicked sensitive to the light or something that it hurts a lot even w eye shields#and nobody is babying meeee#my mom made me clean the kitchen and the barn when we got home :(#my brother is making gf cookies for me tho but not bc of the surgery he just wants to try baking gf for me in general bc he's nice#also he's making 61 cookies by accident instead of 18 bc he doubled the recipe and then realized it was a recipe forngiant cookies lmao
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She's out of control, why is she like this
And then when I explained myself, she doesn't reply so I'm thinking okay great I made a good point, she'll just back down and not argue with me, but she follows up at 6am:
#i mean????#can my reply just be 'Laura resignation letter. docx'#okay fine I'll attach it in a pdf#Laura resignation letter. pdf#resignation letter. jpg and it's just a photo of faz with his middle finger up#I'm sorry#she's out of control though#it's like she had a sixth sense of where i was and was spiralling#Sophia it's okay i came home I'm okay#don't worry about me I'll resign for other reasons not these texts#i just#i don't#i can't#this isn't#okay so we had brunch in Clayton and then went for lunch at some pho place that's fine#then we're in his car and he's like 'let's go for Chinese tea?' and I'm thinking what's that some kind of bubble tea thing yes please#i didn't say that out loud#but he just drove to his house & we went inside and obviously sophia probably felt loud alarm bells that I'm in danger but didn't know what#i wasn't in danger like we just drank tea and ate dumplings and watched the end of the demons game#but it was getting late and he was showing me his Chinese books in his home office and some awkward gross stuff happened and#and again it was late so he's like 'you can stay' and sure that would've been easier and yeah nothing would've happened just sleeping but#i mean it's awks you can't sleep at someone's house without an actual overnight bag especially not a dude who's weirdly into you#so I'm like i can get an uber home but he insisted on driving me so we listened to Taylor Swift on the way home#and then chatted in his car for ages and then i needed the toilet so i had to go#and that's it Tumblr now I'll resign killing two birds with one stone
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i feel So awful n bad and off and ag,h,,hjj,
#i feel like ive been hit with the fattest upgrade to my depression#i am so tired n everything is just tiring ive been trying to play games or watch something and i cant#its just . oug..#even being asleep was awful i kept waking up n each time i felt worse#everything is so soggy because of the humidity too i just feel so gross#i ate n i feel so sick because i shouldnt have im never going to get anywhere#it was such a mistake i dont even know why i did i just want to cry#also my wisdom tooth is hurting more than ever i cant even open my mouth anymore its so stiff w sharp pain#im just gonna take more of my medication n try to sleep it off i guess o(-<
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Okay, I will say that I think the show de-emphasizing the sheer level of "we want Ciri for her bloodline" in the Witcher books in favor of, idk, everyone being either like "she belongs at my side" (fuck off, Emhyr) or "I can train her on how to use her exceptional power" feels like it is maybe a little bit missing the STRONG Pro-Choice point.
#the witcher for ts#i am NOT articulate enough for this but it is a thought i am having#vilgefortz wanted to artificially inseminate ciri in the books iirc!!! maybe he's just not revealing that hand yet#but i remember a lot of the villains were about gross bloodline shit#i guess i shouldn't complain since it was all very gross. but it felt like A Point.#(the delighted laugh that busted out of me when geralt snarled that OBVIOUSLY it was milva's decision what to do about her pregnancy)#(because 'pro-life' is asinine!)#(the show wouldn't dare adapt that)#anyway#kate watches the witcher#kate reads the witcher novels#blanket book reading tag
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Didn't think the 1989 version of The Woman In Black would be scarier than the one with Dan Radcliffe in it
I was Wrong flkjdsafkldsja, but I'm delighted to have been wrong. I had missed getting scared with more practical effects/careful timing of things in the background of shots appearing and disappearing, and this one scratches that itch well.
#text post#also fun seeing how differently they interpreted the characters and how they act#personally i'm realising that the Dan version was sort of. Americanised? Which is probably something I should have realised at first watch#but it only hits now when it's like. how to explain#the casts of both versions are both amazing let's preface with that#but. the Dan version felt very Cinematic. I got scared but was also very aware I was watching An Movie during it#(it got colour-graded quite blue which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it does register in my head as Peak Cinematic for the current time#the version of the characters in this 89 version feel slightly more real? accurate to the culture they come from?#like. there's an American Openness between the ones in the Dan version#they're too open to share and hand out compliments and comments like candy they have too much of#everyone is Nice in a way that feels mildly unrealistic#and when they are mad at each other there's tension but a tension#that to me at least you don't worry abt much bc it just feels almost Already Resolved#and it does sort of just drop off and wind up that way tbh#tho I admit it's been a bit since I read the original story so my apologies if I'm misremembering that it did the same in the book#but I could swear there was more that bit of tension there#anyway it isn't that the 89 characters are all mean but they feel Actually British for lack of better words#they have moments of kindness and do have a general sense of like. yeah they care for their community but also they're getting on w/themsel#and their business and not lingering on the interactions#They're kind but not nice and they just. get on with things which is very nice#and feels more in line with the time period to me/what I expect out of a story like this#anyway speaking of Dan found out the guy playing Arthur in this also played the dad in the gross wizard franchise#which wasn't something I expected to see lol#this is my long barely an essay no one asked for and your sign to go watch the 89 version asap#it's on YT for free which is where I'm watching it so genuinely if anyone want link. I have link fjkdlsfjadlsa#I have so many more thoughts comparing and contrasting Dan to 89 but there are so many tags i'm making myself stop lmao
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about to plead saw the fifth
#don't laugh this joke isnt funny at all#completely legal website says its only like 93 MINUTES??? this is going to be inch resting#also movie gore is like. ok ewwww but i'm not gonna have nightmares about it. book gore will have you up for days you can feel that shit#i read the power recently (MID BTW 😭😭) and there was this one scene involving (tw for ewwwww):#glass and a man's throat#and i'm literally still thinking about it a day after finishing the book like eww i literally felt that#feel like gore is less “looking at gross stuff” and more “feeling sick imagining gross stuff happening to you/imagining how it feels”#ok stop rambling about gore zesus christ (that stands for zeno jesus christ. i'm the second coming.) just watch the damn movie
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If there’s one thing I hope for in UtOS, despite the fact I doubt I’ll be the one who ends up writing it, it’s that once Suiren and Midori start considering Zhi their grandmother, she will be as different from my actual maternal grandmother as possible
#that woman is infuriating and I no longer have any questions as to why I’m the only family member who sees her on a weekly basis#she’s overbearing and micromanaging and always on my ass about the slightest of things#she turned off a documentary about the fauna of Madagascar that I was watching be#*because she felt grossed out watching some kind of rodent eating earth worms#and instead switched the channel to the news. because she’s not grossed out watching coverage of our invasion of ukraine#she tells me the most obvious things and acts like I’m a stupid child#like yes baba I know I need to wash my hair before Monday. I’m not completely blind yet I can see that I need a shower thank you very much#my biggest transgression is that I have callouses on my feet. she keeps saying how a girl shouldn’t have feet like a soldier#it’s called having spent almost two decades walking every day. shocking I know#and since I’m ranting about her already#she once said. to my mom’s face. that she wishes she has aborted her#and while a) I’m very much pro abortion rights and a person’s right to choose. and b) I have a difficult relationship with my mom#you can’t fucking say that to your own daughter#and then wonder why she doesn’t want to talk to you#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#at least I’m home now and don’t have to see her for a week at least
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I wrote a big long analysis of a movie (it was already like nine paragraphs and I only got through the opening scene) and some images glitched when trying to paste them in so I hit ctrl+z and it deleted everything. im fine. this is fine.
#probably for the best tbh it was a clockwork orange#GOD there's just so much symbolism and themes and it made me so uncomfortable that I HAD to talk about it#that movie made me feel so gross I was genuinely uncomfortable making contact with my own body for like an hour#felt so yucky#one of those things that people tell you not to watch and then you do and you're like “I could've gone the rest of my life without this”#BUT THE SYMBOLISM#THE JESUS MOTIFS#THE EYES#THE MILK#I could go on for hours and I almost did. but I shant#also do not watch this movie being so real right now#but also do#but like. don't#chris's creations
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