#like is this toxic behaviour

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?

Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.

[lnkedmyheart]

Everyone wants to talk about Bones cutting out Dazai's full on belly laugh with tears in his eyes at skk's in joke but nobody talks about Bones cutting out Dazai's adorable anticipation of Chuuya actually doing it. Dazai was so hopeful about it. Cause like that was confirmation that they were 100% alright.

LOOK AT THAT DERPY LIL FACE! I WANNA NOM HIM!

[maximura]

I just saw the video of Seunghan walking past the rows and rows of funeral wreaths sent for him in front of the SM building. I hope every single person responsible for that is haunted by it for the rest of their lives and considers seeking therapy. Did they forget two SM idols committed suicide. This is so cruel and I hate that this is the state of KPOP in 2024. And over a fucking cigarette? And dating? I'll never get over this whole situation.

[furiousgoldfish]

If you've found yourself in that childhood hell with a narcissistic parent, where every year you gain you get treated worse, and the older you get, the more unworthy and unlovable you are, this is why it's going on.

Narcissists are unwilling to be parents, but they're ready to take advantage of every possible benefit they think parenthood has. The perceived benefit is how the world sees them, someone feeling sympathetic or engaged with them, getting popularity based on your kid's talents, abilities and successes, people having compassion for their 'parenthood struggles', and of course, the idea of unconditional love. For them, not for the kid. They also then go on and take extra stuff, like having their personal emotional caretaker, or a target for all of their anger, someone to feel superior to, someone they can violate, insult, touch, beat, and blend with, without any kind of consequences from the outside world. There's very few scenarios that would allow them such power over another person, and parenthood happens to be one of them.

So, why do they prefer small toddlers rather than grown-up children? Because toddlers gain them attention. They can go with a toddler in public, and have people gush and admire the cuteness. They can sometimes teach toddlers to do little dances or sing for the audience. They can do pretty much anything to small children, and children won't complain or understand what is going on. They can neglect their toddlers and nobody will know. They can punish small children for crying. They can convince small children that they exist only for to make the narcissist's life easier.

Once children start developing boundaries, start saying no, and no longer gather the attention of the crowd, that is where narcissists are no longer getting as many benefits from parenthood and start emotionally abandoning the child, and shaming the child for 'growing up' and 'not being as easy to control and manipulate'. And this is not how normally things work, you don't stop loving your kid when they're growing up, you don't value them according to how much attention you can get using them. Sometimes, if a kid has a special talent and is able to get them attention via child contests or tournaments, this kid will not be obviously immediately abandoned. But it will be clear to this child that the 'love' is completely dependent on how well they do and how far they succeed. The second they stop, they know that the parental love will be withdrawn and they'll be rendered a failure.

Narcissists will ask you to go not just out of your comfort zone in order to give them what they want, they will ask the downright impossible, and when you inevitably can't give it to them, you will be discarded, and possibly punished. You will degraded from 'special' and 'important because you can do this one thing for your parent', to nothing but a target for rage, forced to feel like you deserve it because you couldn't do what no child can - make a narcissist act like a normal parent. They convince children that they would be loving and thoughtful parents, if only the child was not so x, and y, and z, and the list is endless. Endless excuses not to love their child, because withdrawing that love will make the child absolutely desperate in their attempt to please the parent, and be good enough to deserve love.

This is not what would normally happen to a child. We're meant to be celebrated for growth. Our progress into adulthood should be about us, about what we can do now, how much new experiences and excitement it brings to have a bigger body, how much more capable and safer we are, what new skills we can develop, new games we can play, better connections and understanding with others we can now achieve. It's not supposed to be about whether we are of a benefit to someone, our growth is about us becoming a happy adult! Appropriating this entire process and reducing it to 'grovel endless to deserve love, and feel guilty for growing because you're of less use now' is absolute torture to a child, who doesn't understand that it's not meant to be this way, that they were never supposed to be a tool to use.

As we mature with the narcissist continually building this narrative of us not being good enough to deserve love, we end up having no other narrative, and believe that we're fundamentally, intrinsically lacking in something, and this makes us unlovable. It has nothing to do with the truth, and everything to do with a continuous lie that someone made up about us when we were still small, that we exist as a tool and a resource, and every hint of free will and desire and personal goals and boundaries is us failing to live up to that use. We were never meant to be exist for them, there was no achievable goal, us even trying to 'deserve their love' was nothing but a waste of our time and energy. We're not unlovable. We just don't a parent. We had someone leeching off of us, taking instead of giving, convincing us we don't deserve attention, care or resources, unlike them, who deserve to take it all.

For any normal parent, everything about you would have been good enough, you would have been a source of joy and celebration without ever even trying to deserve it. Nobody has to deserve parental love, it's either given by default, or there is nobody willing to be a parent to you. Being unwilling to parent you, they have no right to expect anything from you. You did not break the parent-child bond, because there never was such a thing in the first place, they betrayed you from the start.

[noxious-fennec]

Local divorcee spending his 10 year wedding anniversary gnawing on the homewrecker's back

[ninkaku]

strange behaviour from the arcane fandom when a woman that has relations with another woman goes down a darker path and people condemn her whereas if she was a man in love with another man this would be lapppped up as “toxic yaoi”. please get a grip

[mai-hatsume]

bkdk fanfics are genuinely so unserious sometimes I can't breathe 💀💀💀💀💀

I'm reading one rn and I'm in like chap 3 or 4 and they hate each other but they've been forced to hangout so they're starting to hate each other less but atp they still hate each other

katsuki yells at izuku and tells him to stfu and smtn like don't pmo I don't want to fight and izuku was like omg he doesn't want to fight maybe our relationship is improving😭😭😭😭 Im literally crying lmaooooo

izuku said I'll take literal crumbs lmaoo

it reminded me of this one part from the game crimson snow where the guy sent this girl a letter to break up w her and he said smtn like I love you but I can't do this anymore or smtn and she underlined the I love you and she wrote in like red pen he loves me!!

this is a link to the gameplay time stamp 52 Mins 18 seconds

[galactic-rhea]

Is been years since I got out of an abusive relationship, like, years, and is crazy that there's still moments when I'm doing whatever and of all sudden I'll feel a small rush of euphoria like "Oh god, I'm actually free, I can just do whatever."

On the opposite side, though, sometimes I'll see red flags where there are none or get insanely paranoid or anxious and read social cues and everything very very wrong. Although these are more and more far in between these days.

[chappellrroan]

therapy is expensive but gossiping with your mom as best friends is free, fun and healthy

[johanna-swann]

Are some of the Buddie fans aware that they're creating their own feedback loop?

(Some) Fans are really excited about Buddie. So the journalists, some of them Buddie shippers themselves and keen to feed their avid readers (and get their clicks), keep asking questions about it. The actors have to answer those questions in some sort of way, even if only to say that they have a strong platonic bond and amazing friendship. That leads to headlines like "Buck & Eddie closer than ever" and stuff like that. Which gets even more fans even more excited about potential Buddie canon. Which leads journalists to ask more questions about it and write about 911 through the Buddie lense which draws more attention to the Buddie circles online which leads journalists to write more about- You get what I'm saying.

Meanwhile the actors keep talking about the FRIENDSHIP and PLATONIC bond, about Ryan Guzman and Eddie Diaz both having to figure out how not being the tough guy all the time and having a sensitive side DOESN'T mean they're gay or unmanly, about how important and beautiful it is to have that coming out scene between a bisexual man and his HETEROSEXUAL male friend.

But journalists keep phrasing headlines in ways that suggest Buddie canon is almost upon us, even though the words the actor actually said were him doubling down on Eddie being straight and struggling with his (conservative) upbringing for other reasons.

[seagull-scribbles]

what if they where T4T?! What then?

[iwaasfairy]

why r u writing incest??? u should not be romanticizing that shit 😭

you think my fics are romantic? ❤️‍🔥🙏🥸 you’re so sweet

[zellk]

Funny romance charts - Dangerous Babygirls edition (empty chart)

[furiousgoldfish]

Ways abusive parents try to separate you from your human rights:

They threaten to call the police on you if you don't obey them

They threaten you with jail-time and insist that the police will take you away for disobedience

They actually call the police, or emergency services, to create consequences for disobedience

They threaten to 'give you away' to groups of people they deem 'worse' than themselves

They threaten that you'll be kidnapped and sold if you don't obey them

They threaten for you to be put in a home

They threaten you with inhumane living conditions in a home (you won't have you room, you won't have anything, they'll beat you up ever day, etc)

They threaten to institutionalize you if you don't do as they say

They threaten to put you in a mental hospital/psych ward/asylum

They threaten you with court, institutions and government

They convince you that every institution, social service, law enforcement, or any other organized group of people is on their side, and against you, and would fight on their side and enforce their rule over you

They act as if disobeying them is against the law/religion

They insist that nobody will ever want to hire you or pay you a salary

They imply or outright say that it's a waste of space if you were renting out a place or had a place of your own, you do not have the right to occupy your own space in their eyes

They take away your necessities if you disobey them (food, ability to use the bathroom, clothing)

They destroy your property as a form of revenge, and insist it never belonged to you and that they had every right to destroy it

They make sure you're not exposed to educational materials that would inform you that you have a right to safety, food, shelter, and protection from violence and threats

They fight very hard to convince you that what they're doing to you is NOT abuse (saying things like 'you don't even KNOW what abuse is, or 'I'll show you abuse'), and they make sure you're not exposed to any resources or education that would help you recognize abuse

Punishments for standing up for yourself or any attempts to reach justice or point out how unfair, inescapable, hypocritical and painful your situation is

Not allowing you to speak, punishing you for talking back, convincing you that you have no voice and you have no right to defend yourself in any measure

Exposing you to media or real-life situations where children are abused just as badly, or worse than you are, this is a part of grooming they do to convince you that child abuse is normal, acceptable behaviour and not abuse at all

Suggesting that they could do all this to you, and even outright threatening it, implying strongly they know they can get away with it, since others can

Convince you that everyone else has it worse, and repeat how lucky you actually are to have them

They list all of the things that would be happening to you if they weren't so kind to you (you'd be starving on the street, be kidnapped/sold/tortured, die from lack of resources, be abandoned, not survive in any possible way)

Convince you that you're not, in fact, a human being and thus have no business expecting human rights (brainwashing, calling you animal names, calling you demon/satan/monster)

Accuse you repeatedly of being a financial burden, shame you for costing money, demand credit/favours/services/labour/obedience in return for giving you survival resources like food and clothing and school supplies

Neglect to inform you that government is giving them a tax-break for every kid they're supporting and that the society is built so that children would be financially taken care of and do not need to earn their food, shelter or basic necessities

Scare you into believing that every other authority figure (teachers, boss, police, judge, authorities) would treat you even worse and would demand even a higher degree of obedience and submission from you, threaten you with how badly the interaction would go for you if you were to stand up to any other authority figure

Insist that if you were to act with this level of spite, refusal, rejection or disrespect to any other person, they would simply snap and kill you (implied death threat – you're lucky that I'm not ending your life right now)

Act like they own you, to the degree that they feel they have every right to end your life and would not be arrested or blamed if they were to kill you, since you're just their property

Add more if you have lived through other experiences that left you feeling like you had no protection, no rights in the eyes of the law, and no way to recognize your humans rights are being violated. Even one single item on this list means your human rights were kept from you.

[baddingtonbitch]

occasionally i watch a bunch of movie reactions but just skip to one particular scene each time just to see it shift people's wigs and i've been doing it for the hereditary dinner scene and i swear so many people have BetterHelp brain now that they can't even watch a movie they're like oh wow she shouldn't be yelling at him like that this is so toxic this is not the way to handle this why is she handling it like this she's being a hypocrite!

like are you stupid

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

phannie tumblr and phannie twitter hating each other is so funny bc it’s all the same people and we act like we’re completely separate societies. i really get and agree with the criticisms of phannie twt, all i wanted when i was on there was to be back here, AND at the end of the day, we’re all phannies—none of us are valid <3

(i’m down if anyone has thoughts on this that they want to share! i want to write essays upon essays about this phenomenon it’s SO interesting /gen)