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disarm-you · 2 months ago

Text

Confessions

Hi Everyone! I haven’t watched The Walking Dead in years. So I was incredibly surprised when Shane decided to join me recently on a hot girl walk.

I didn’t have the time to rewatch the first season but I did use TWD Wiki to fill in some of my blank spots. I took a couple of small liberties in Shane’s past but it shouldn’t be distracting to any diehard fans.

Tuna-Tober Prompt: “You can sleep here tonight.” Pairing: Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You’re part of the group that ends up at the CDC during season 1 of TWD. You and Shane hook up after a few confessions. Some plot, lots of porn with feelings.

Content Warning: Unprotected PIV sex (don’t actually do that), hair pulling, no use of y/n, tenderness

Trigger Warning: Reader does get slightly overwhelmed at one point. But Shane notices something is off with her and checks in. Just an extra warning for more sensitive readers but everything here is consensual!

Word Count: 3,492

18+ below the cut. Thank you so much for reading! Gentle reminder that reblogs are the best way to support writers on here. XOXO

“I almost can’t believe this is real.” You say as you sit down on the bed next to Shane. Your group had arrived at the CDC earlier today. After introductions and discussions with Dr. Jenner, everyone had the best meal they had ever eaten, succeeded by hot showers and fresh clothes.

“This feels surreal.” You say as you sit on the bed, eyeing the room around you. “It’s been months since the outbreak. All I’ve seen is loss. My sisters, my parents, my boyfriend, every single one of my friends. Hell, I’ve even lost my cat. All gone. In almost the blink of an eye the entire world changed.” You said with a large sigh.

“We used to think we were struggling working eight hours a day and trying to pay our bills. We didn’t know what struggle was. And now to sit here on a soft bed after taking a hot shower with plumbing in an air conditioned room is a shock. I never realized precisely how much I took for granted. Not only is this room safe but this building is safe, except I don’t think my body knows how to feel safe anymore.” You tell Shane as tears begin to well in your eyes.

“I also don’t think I ever took time to grieve. The hits kept on coming and if you didn’t keep moving you were next. Now I’m here sitting in what I used to take completely for granted: food, shelter and safety. But how long will this last?” You shrug your shoulders, head hanging in despair. The hot stream of tears in your eyes starts pouring faster and Shane tugs you in, holding you closely.

“I know darling, I know.” He cradles you as he kisses the side of your head and you begin to sob.

“Just get it all out.” He says as he rubs calming circles on your back.

Shane sat patiently with you on the bed. He whispered calming words and just held you as you let the emotions cascade out of you. Your chest heaving with the pain, low back starting to ache from the position you were sitting in. When you felt like there was nothing left, you remained in his lap not wanting to ruin the intimate moment between the two of you. Not that your bodies weren’t familiar with each other. You two had been hooking up since you joined the crew but emotions were never involved. There wasn’t time for that in this world.

Shane waited a few minutes once you had started settling down.“You can sleep here tonight.” He murmured, his voice landing gruffly as he whispered in your ear.

”Yeah, I do. But Shane, I’m not up for sex tonight.” You say quickly, averting your eyes from his. Your body tenses as you wait for his response. Normally, you wouldn’t think twice about fooling around with Shane but crying had left you with a throbbing headache. You were also feeling tired and emotionally vulnerable. What you needed most was a good night’s sleep.

“Don’t you ever be ashamed to turn me down. You don’t owe me nothing.” He says while grabbing your chin to move your face towards his. Then he gives you the softest kiss on the forehead before laying you both down.

“Can you hold me?” You sniffled as you got comfortable on the plush bedding.

“What do you miss from before the walkers?” You ask as Shane obliges your request.

“Cold beer.” Shane quickly retorts. “And hot wings.” He chortles, lightening the mood.

“I don’t blame you.” You giggle. “I miss getting my nails done. And going shopping. Especially at Target.”

”Hmm, you women did love your Target! I miss going to the bar after work with my buddies. I miss eating cheeseburgers. And the internet. Shit, why did you have to go and start reminiscing like this!?” He said teasingly.

“Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry! It feels like I haven’t had a minute to just think lately, you know?” You sigh as you bite down on your lip. You hesitate but before you could stop yourself it slips out: But seriously. Is there anything else? Were you married? Did you have a family?” You roll over to face him, worrying that you were pushing the envelope with him. Shane was known to be a little hot around the collar, so you wanted to be able to see his reactions. You didn’t want to push any buttons and shut him down.

His body tenses and he takes a large breath before speaking.

“I was raised by my grandma Jean and she passed well before the world went to Hell and truthfully, I’m glad she wasn’t here to experience this. I don’t have any siblings but I consider Rick to be my brother. He and I grew up together. Graduated high school, went off to college and then ended up joining the force together.”

”Wait, I knew you and Rick were deputies together. I didn’t know you’ve known each other your entire lives.” Your mouth dropping at his admission.

“Yeah. We did. I have some of my best memories with Rick. In fact, I think football is what I miss most. Football, cold beer and hot wings. That’s my final answer. You know after all this.” He nods, gesturing to the room.

“Playing or watching?”

”Both.” He replies quickly.

“Your number didn’t happen to be ‘22’ did it?” You ask as you finger his necklace.

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “That was my number.”

“So…” You pause, wondering again if you were wandering into dangerous territory. Your heart started picking up and your mouth felt dry but you knew if you didn’t ask now the timing may never be right again.“You must have known Lori and Carl before all of this?” You cautiously ask.

Shane stiffens slightly once more before responding. “Yeah, we all met in college.”

”Listen, I know we’ve never had any discussions about whatever this is.” You say, motioning between the two of you. “ And you don’t owe me any explanations but is there something going on between you and Lori?” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even think to stop them. You cringe as you held your breath waiting for his response, tension growing in the air. You had always felt something between him and Lori, despite her being married to Rick but now you had been slowly catching feelings with Shane you just had to know the truth.

”Look” Shane sharply interrupts you and the tone of his voice sends a cold shiver down your spine. “I’m only going to tell you this once. Before the outbreak, Rick and I were on a call. He got shot and ended up in a coma. He was still in that coma when we had to evacuate the city. I took Lori and Carl to safety. They are just as much my family as they are Rick’s. I’m always going to feel responsible for them.” He barked, passion radiated from his body even after he was done speaking.

You relaxed into him, appreciating the honesty. Your reaction shocked Shane. He was bracing himself for a fight, instead he found you slotting your legs between his and resting your forehead against his chest.

“I completely understand that Shane. If I had anyone left from before I would cherish them as well.” You appreciated his honesty and besides, the world that we once knew was gone. That’s going to have an impact on relationship dynamics. Regardless, you felt safe with him and that was worth sticking around for, so long as everyone remained truthful. It did, however, bring up one more question for you.

Swallowing hard before asking, “Do you think you have room for one more person?”

“Yeah I think I can manage that sweetheart.” He rolls on to his back and pulls you along with him so that you end up positioned on his chest. A fresh pool of tears formed in your eyes again. You are overwhelmed by his softness with you as you cuddle into him closer. He held you tightly as you cried yourself to sleep.

__________________________

You woke up first the next day. The emotional hangover clung to you like a cold, wet blanket. Until you realized where you were and recalled last night’s admissions. You rolled over to see Shane sleeping on his back. He looked so peaceful. You couldn’t help but to admire his features in the low light.

“Good morning, love.”

You jumped. Not only were you unaware that he was awake but the new pet name was surprising. It awakened a yearning in your low belly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. But good morning.” You meekly reply as you roll over on your side, facing away from him. Your embarrassment got the best of you. You were afraid last night was going to be too much for him.

“C’mon girl, where are you going?” He asked as he followed you, one of his arms snaked under your pillow and the other wrapped itself around you, pulling you closer into him.

“I just didn’t want to bother you.” You replied, relishing in the warmth and security his body provided.

“How are you feeling today?” He whispered in your ear, lips gently trailing down the side of your neck as you melted into him.

“I’m feeling better. But did you mean what you said last night? Are we a thing?” You ask, hoping that a good night of rest didn’t change his mind.

“I meant every word.” His reply was peppered with kisses on the back of your shoulder, igniting the embers that glowed in your low belly.

“I did too.” You whispered as you started to lightly grind yourself against his bulge.

“You better be careful about starting something you don’t intend to finish.” He growled as you continued your movements against him, desire growing with each provocation.

“Who said I didn’t want to finish?” You murmured.

Your words made Shane groan as he ran his free hand across your abdomen, resting it on your hip.

“Shit sweetheart, what am I going to do with you?” His voice was dangerous as he caressed the side of your body. His breath hitches as he realizes you weren’t wearing any panties.

You could feel him getting harder and the reaction your body gave him made you tremble as you rolled on your back to kiss him.

Shane grunted as you spread your legs to accommodate him. You deepened the kiss and he brought your hands up to rest near the top of your head, interlacing your fingers with his. You relaxed into the bed, enjoying as Shane took the lead.

He slowly but firmly thrust his hips against yours. The thin pair of pajama pants he was wearing left nothing to the imagination against your bare skin.

You open your mouth to let out a soft moan and Shane takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into yours. The sensation left you light headed and wanting more.

His kisses were hungry and frenzied, as if he wanted to devour you. Soon your blood was buzzing in your ears. Shane’s breathing was picking up and you couldn’t stop yourself anymore from grinding back into him. Shane groaned as he broke a kiss. Stilling his hips against yours he silently skimmed his hands down your forearms, lifting his palms so that only his fingertips danced down your biceps. In any other circumstance the sensation may have tickled you but right now the pathway tracked heat down your body causing your nipples to harden and your center to dampen.

The hazy look in your eyes made Shane chuckle before he swiftly tore your night shirt right down the middle.

“Shane!” You gasp before bringing your hands down and snatching his shirt over his head. You shamelessly took in the view before you. Shane was in glorious shape and you weren’t sure which of the Gods should be thanked for the opportunity to see this man.

“Wait.” The last bit of reason that wasn’t tainted by Shane in your mind wandered to the front.

Shane stops his hands, resting them on your hips as he sat back on his knees, eyes reading your body language.

”Please tell me you have a condom?”

“Hang on, I think I do.” You adjusted yourself so that he could grab his bag. Reaching in he grabs the small box of condoms that were found hidden between the racks of the last pharmacy the group managed to search.

“Shit.” He replies, turning the box upside down. “We’re out.”

“Of course we are.” You whined, laying back on the bed, throwing your forearm over your face. “I want you so fucking bad.” You lie there pouting, trying to ignore the feeling of emptiness that was growing between your legs.

“Listen.” Shane tosses the empty box onto the floor before laying down beside you. “We don’t have to have sex. Can I touch you?” He pauses his hand on your pubic bone waiting for an answer.

Against better judgment, you nod your head and your body sings as Shane’s hand touches you where you so desperately needed him.

“You’re already so fucking wet for me.” Shane admires you as he teases his fingers along your slit.

“You feel so good.” You gasp as he slowly slips two fingers inside of you. Exhaling, you bring your hand to rest on his forearm, fearing he would stop his ministrations with your center.

The sight of you beneath him, moaning in pleasure was stunning to Shane. He leaned down and gently scatters kisses around your chest until he popped a nipple into his mouth.

You arched your hips at the pleasure from both his hands and his mouth. He immediately curled his fingers into your g spot. You deeply moaned at the sensation. Your noises caused him to release his assault on your nipple and he met you with a sinful stare.

“Shane, fuck me.” Your emboldened request shocked even yourself. ”Just don’t cum in me. Please.” You whined as your hands tangled into his hair, pulling him up to you for a filthy kiss.

“You sure that’s a good idea princess?”

”No. But I don’t want to stop. And we can’t make a habit out of this.” You cautioned as you quickly untied the string to his pajama pants, greedily pulling them down his hips as soon as you could.

“As you wish, my love.” He sharply exhaled as you held his cock firmly in your hand. The use of his pet name caused your eyes to close.

There it was again -love. The four letter word you hadn’t realized you had been secretly yearning to hear but struck nerves at the possibility. Your brain wanted to ask the hard questions but the ease at which the phrase rolled off his tongue pleased you. His deft hands were already making your loosely formed questions disappear.

You open your eyes and remember the task at hand. The sight of his cock was mouth watering and you firmly grasp him and jerk him off.

You watch as Shane’s eyes close and you thumb at the bead of precum that was forming at its head. His brows furrowed and you notice how tense the muscles in his abdomen are. His breath started to pant which encouraged you to work him harder.

“You feel amazing love but can I please fuck you now?” Shane whines as he withdraws his fingers from you.

Nodding you move to spread your legs for him.

”No, pretty girl. Not today. Roll over.”

A wave of shock and excitement rolled through you as you turned over. In your previous hookups, you were usually on top and you had to be incredibly discreet. This change of pace was exciting.

Shane roughly grabbed you by the hips, pulling you up and back so that you were doggystyle on your knees in the middle of the bed.

Anticipation washed over you and before you could figure out what he was going to do next, Shane laid a hard smack on your ass. With an open palm, he ran his hand up your backside, electricity following in his wake. He stopped at the base of your neck, giving you a gentle squeeze before he entangled his fingers in your hair. Keeping his hand close to your scalp, he grabbed a handful and pulled.

You cried out in pleasure as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Is this ok?”

You felt the weight of him pressed against your cunt and it made it hard for you to answer him. You meekly nodded and he laughed against your ear.

“Yeah, I thought you might like this.” His tone was almost sinister as he tapped your arm, unconsciously asking you for it.

You shifted your body, moving your head to the side, so you could kneel with your chest on the bed.

Shane grabs your wrists together in one hand while he teases your entrance with his cock.

The anticipation of finally feeling his bare skin on yours is overwhelming and your breath is coming out in hitches. But he continues to tease you. Pressing himself slowly against your hole, tip just barely entering you before slowly pulling back.

“What are you waiting for?” You cry out and Shane just chuckles.

“You know, I really like to take my time but since you're impatient, I guess this is it.” He said before he filled you up.

You cry out at the mind numbing pleasure he gives you.

Shane didn’t waste time and started to harshly fuck you. The pleasure was intense but soon, so was the position. The bliss was starting to mingle with the discomfort in your shoulders. You started to feel crushing weight in your chest and your arms felt uncomfortable.

Shane took notice of your changing breath and at how stiff your body had become. “Hey, hey, hey, hey what’s going on?” He said in a soothing tone as he let go of your arms and stopped his movements. “Are you ok? Do you need me to stop?” He asked as he helped brush strands of hair out of your face.

“No, we don’t have to stop but I don’t want you to hold my arms back.”

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s ok hun. It just started to feel too intense” The pet name effortlessly rolled off your tongue. He didn’t seem to object to it and the unquestioning acceptance lit the fire in your body back up.

“Can we keep going?” You ask as you prop yourself up on your elbows.

“Absolutely.” Shane growls as he slaps you on the ass again, making you moan. He resumes his thrusting and you reach down to rub your clit.

“Can you pull my hair again?”

“I fucking love a woman who asks for what she wants.” He groans before he places one hand around your hip for support while the other pulls a handful of hair.

“Omg, fuck that feels amazing.”

Shane keeps his pace as you feel yourself nearing the finish line. He pulls on your hair, making your back arch as you come up on your palms to conform to his request.

“You’re doing so well for me.”

All you can do is moan in response.

Shane moved his free hand up your side body, over your shoulder trailing until his hand was loosely under your jaw, cradling your neck.

He rubbed his thumb along your bottom lip and you popped it into your mouth, sucking on it like it was giving you life force.

The heat at your coil was ready to boil over at any minute. Shane could feel you pulsing around him.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to make me fucking cum.”

His admission pushed you over the edge. Shockwaves rippled through you, causing reality to splinter and before you could realize what was happening you felt Shane pull out of you. You can hear him grunting as you are riding out the final waves of your organs. Moments later, his hot cum lay across your ass and you both lower down into comfortable positions.

You lie there in post coital bliss for several minutes. And then reality crashed down.

“How loud were we? Do you think people heard us?” Mortification echoed through you at the thought.

“Uh, well, I guess that would depend on how far away they were from us.” He teased as he rubbed your back.

“Listen, we’re all adults here and it’s the end of the world. If anything, they were probably jealous. Hang on a minute, I’ll get you cleaned up.”

Shane looked around, deciding to use the shirt he ripped off you earlier to wipe up his spend.

“C’mon, let’s take another shower and go get something to eat.”

#the walking dead #shane walsh #shane walsh x reader #no use of y/n #shane walsh fanfiction #Tuna-Tober 2024

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sykoangels · 3 months ago

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Pslspslpslsls write a Logan howlett x ftm or male reader 🙏🏾🙏🏾 breeding kink….??

hi anon!! I have been playing to write this since I'm trans myself! (genderfluid afab) I'm pulling this out of my drafts so I hope you enjoy 🩷

Logan Howlett, there are many words to describe this man most people will call him egotistical a narcissist, and have a bit of a stuck-up bitch with anger issues. Some people might say he’s the most violent creature they have ever met, is some of that slightly true yes but do you care not because you’ve seen sides of him you thought he would never show anybody. It’s probably different because you guys have been friends for so long and that friendship turned into more later down in life. You and Logan have been knowing each other for years it almost felt like when you met him for the first time he was some attractive hothead with a smoking and drinking problem with some form of family issues.

And you were right when you first met him he was all of those things, but as you continue to talk, he was a vulnerable man dealing with his emotions in the worst possible way. You saw how much she was hurting and would comfort him every day even though he would hate it, but slowly he warmed up to you. Quite nice seeing him smile and giggle from time to time you guys kind of just kept each other company. He would also worry about you a lot. He swore to you that he would always protect you no matter what even if you and him weren’t talking anymore, he would go out of his way to protect you. Later on and your friendship you came out to him as transgender.

This was one of the most nerve-racking things you have done in a while, but it went surprisingly well. Logan didn’t care he still thought you were you. He was happy that you felt like you could tell him and ever since you told him he’s been doing everything in his power to make you feel comfortable. After that, your relationship continued to grow, but while it group platonically, it grew romantically. You and Logan would hook up occasionally kind of in the realm of no-strings-attached sex because you guys thought dating would ruin the friendship. As you guys continued to hook up you guys discovered that you had feelings for each other and wanted it more than just casual sex on the weekends you guys started dating and everything changed after that.

Logan was very protective over you and always had been and you always help Logan with several things around the house and also dressing his wounds, even though he doesn’t need to do that due to his regenerative healing, but he always found it cute that he would put little Band-Aids on his wounds. Overall, your relationship is flourishing, but there was something that was still ticking at you and it would always happen anytime you saw Logan even if he wasn’t talking about anything sexual racking thoughts in your head that He could breed me and I wouldn’t say anything about it or He could hold me down and breed me, and I wouldn’t even bat an eye. In some ways, you thought you were going crazy because no way in hell that was a normal thought especially when your said boyfriend is talking to you about a failed mission and all you can think about is him ripping off your clothes and breeding you till sundown.

In reality, you thought you were good at keeping this kind of secret to yourself. you wanted to tell Logan, of course, because he was your boyfriend and there was nothing wrong with experimenting sexually, but it was just the pure thought of it all and how it made you feel that freaked you out more than anything, especially for Logan’s reaction. having such a perverse thought, like this one that constantly racks her brain for days weeks, and months on end wasn’t healthy to keep in. After a while of trying to suppress this kind of fantasy, you just couldn’t anymore you would especially think about this type of topic if Logan was away for a little while. You would slip a finger inside your cunt and circle your sensitive cock dreaming about Logan’s cock filling you up like some make-shift Twinkie.

Logan wasn’t stupid. He knew something was up with you. At first, he thought you were just going through some things because he would be talking to you and it would just look like you weren’t paying attention. When he would try to get your attention, it was almost like you had seen a ghost. He had also noticed you were being weird around him kind of like lingering and looking at him when he would be doing normal tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and even smoking. He noticed that you would stare harder than usual when he would come out of the shower the type of stare where it felt like someone was burning into your skin. You noticed the lust and desire in your eyes constantly, but he wasn’t ready to give in to whatever fantasy you were playing out in your head. He wanted you to work for it or at least come clean him about it. He knew just the perfect time on when you might confess he just wanted to give you a little push.

The air was thick with the scent of stale cigarettes and whiskey as Logan stumbled through the door, his combat boots heavy on the old wooden floor. The room was dimly lit, casting long shadows across his rugged features. He tossed his keys onto the table, not bothering to look at me as he made his way towards the kitchen. "Hey," you called out, my voice hesitant yet tingling with anticipation. "Rough day?" Logan grunted in response, pulling a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. He didn't offer you any, which was typical. This night could either go two ways and you hoped it was the first option. "You want to talk about it?" I asked, leaning against the doorway, watching him pour himself a generous amount. "Nah," he muttered, taking a long swig. His eyes met mine briefly, dark and intense, before he looked away. "Just need to relax "You nodded, understanding more than he realized. "Well, let me help you with that." Without waiting for a response, I stepped closer, reaching up to unbutton his shirt. He didn’t stop me, his gaze now fixed on my hands as they worked slowly, revealing the hard lines of his chest. Each button undone felt like a small victory, a step closer to the edge you were both teetering on.

You always know how to make things better," Logan murmured, his voice rough with desire. You smirked feeling the heat rise in my face staring into his eyes. "That’s what friends are for, right?" He shot you a dirty look slightly annoyed, setting his glass down. "Isn’t that what we are? Friends?" Before you could answer, his hands were on you, pulling you close. Your bodies pressed together, the heat between the two of you palpable. His lips found yours, hungry and demanding, erasing any doubt about what we meant to each other. "Logan..." you gasped as he broke the kiss, trailing his mouth down my neck. “We’re just friends my fucking ass” he whispered, his fingers deftly undoing his belt. "no friend is gonna pleasure you like I do bub.” Your chest heaved with each rapid breath, your eyes locked onto his. "I want you. Right now." He grinned, a wicked glint in his eye. "What exactly do you want, my prince" Your voice caught in your throat, the words you wanted to say tingling at the tip of your tongue. "I... I want you to bend me over and breed me. P-please, fill my cunt until you can’t fill it anymore.” Logan's grin widened, his eyes darkening with lust. "Is that so?" he murmured, his fingers trailing down your neck, across your chest, and lower still, until they reached the waistband of your jeans. "Show me then. Show me how much you want it."

With trembling hands, you undid your belt, unzipped your jeans, and pushed them down along with your boxers, exposing your eager, throbbing cock. Logan's eyes flicked down, taking in the sight, and he gave a low whistle. "Fuck, you look good like that," he praised, his fingers circling your erection, stroking gently. You gasped, leaning your head back against the wall, your body arching into his touch. "ah fuck Logan," you whined, your voice hoarse with need. "Please, baby.” He chuckled, the sound deep and resonant. "Oh, but I thought we were just friends bub. Now you are begging your friend for his cock? How much of a dirty whore are you huh? Why don’t you learn some patience mhm? But his actions belied his words. With one swift motion, he lifted you, wrapping your legs around his waist. You cried out as he slammed into you, the sensation overwhelming, primal. Logan pinned you against the wall, his thrusts deep and relentless, each one pushing you closer to the edge. "That's it," he growled, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin. "Take it. Take every inch of my fat cock.”

You clung to him, your fingers digging into his shoulders, your body rocking with each powerful thrust. The world around you dissolved into a haze of pleasure, the only reality being Logan and the fierce, unyielding rhythm of his hips. "Logan, I'm... I'm close," you panted, your vision blurring with the force of your impending climax. He pulled back, his eyes fierce and commanding. "Then come for me, bub. Let me see you fall apart." That was all it took. With a strangled cry, you came, your release washing over you in waves, your body convulsing around Logan's pulsing cock. He followed soon after, his own climax hitting him hard, his seed filling you completely, sealing your mutual satisfaction. For a moment, there was only the sound of your ragged breathing and the pounding of your hearts, both of you lost in the aftermath of your passionate encounter. You could feel Logan’s warm seed slowly spilling out of your cunt. It felt so good and oddly comforting having your greatest slutty fantasy come true. Logan looks down at you with a smirk before speaking

“Oh bub I’m not finished with you I think there is enough space in that cunt of yours for more of cum. Why don’t you let me fix that for you my cock drunk baby boy.”

Logan says brushing hair out your face making sure he can see you. You look up at him with a faint smile nodding your head as well. Who would say no too Logan breeding you like a slut?

Absolutely nobody.

#sykoangelssmut #sykoangels #need that #smutty fanfiction #deadpool #deadpool and wolverine #fanfics #deadpool smut #logan howlett #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #logan smut #wolverine #wolverine fanfiction #ftm fanfic

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bxldrsdraumar · 2 years ago

Text

Pentimento

virtuoustyrfing

just like that, the doubt in seliph's heart begins to loosen its hold before melting away. it's not too unlike the last of snow during the early spring; his hope is the flowers that blossom after the winter. & all of it is accomplished by words seliph doubts an imposter would ever utter under the guise of self-importance. azmur. kurth. familiar names that align with the history. no recollection of falling into a pitfall either, although seliph wouldn't know if any other imposter gallivanting around as 'king sigurd' had fallen into one too.

at this moment, seliph doesn't question why the man doesn't seem to recall details, nor does the scion of light linger on that remark about memory. that's for later if he remembers to ask. but now, seliph focuses on the present. he focuses on his father, who is here and alive and talking as though seliph would mind knowing more about the man he only knows through stories.

(seliph doesn't think he would have minded if his father had continued the story. he has a good idea of who those dear friends are. how could he not after hearing tales of his father's friendship with eldigan of nordion and quan of leonster?)

"it's really... you really are..." a small, almost breathless laugh leaves his lips, & the tension seliph didn't even realize was there vanishes under the mountainous relief washing over him. his face, too, lights up, with a giddy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. only for that smile to turn sheepish in seconds. "i'm sorry for the weird questions. not too long ago, my friend and i encountered a man who claimed to be king sigurd of grannvale."

he tries to keep his tone even, but some of that old disappointment slips in anyway.

seliph continues, as though to push past the memory of that day, "does mother know you are here... father?" father. it feels almost strange saying it. "she's here at the monastery too. she— she told me to hold onto hope you would be here one day."

a pause.

"i probably shouldn't wonder about a good thing, but... how is it you..." survived, he almost says. "how are you here, father?"

Sigurd's eyes softened, watching the wave of emotions crashing over his son – many of the same emotions, he suspected, that he himself was feeling at that very moment. It was understandable, of course: he had, to his minimal understanding of the situation, died and he had come back by some miracle of divinity which had decided that perhaps his story was not over, but this was not before it had fallen to the generation after to clean up the mess it had left.

Still, his throat tightened, seeing what felt quite like looking into a mirror. Seliph, of course, had always looked more like his mother – he had her soft eyes, the roundness of his features, the curves of their cheeks which Sigurd could almost feel under his palm.

He restrained himself from reaching out, clearing his throat a bit. "I – yes, I have seen your mother." Tears began to gather at the corners of his eyes – there was still so much missing in his memory, but he did not think that he would ever forget the great hollow ache in his chest when Deirdre had been taken from him, the throb of a part of him being rent from his side, the phantom pain of a love lost in futility. He had seen her, and she had filled him with such love that he almost felt he would shatter from within, the sensitive crevices in his heart that he had ignored for so long under the pretense of being strong.

But now as he stood before his son, his son who he had given up of his own volition – to keep him safe, yes, but it was a choice he had made nonetheless – he felt more vulnerable than ever. His son who was a man, who had grown and who looked so like his mother...

"Ah," Sigurd said, throat tight, working hard around the words, "yes I suppose that is the question isn't it? I – I have much to thank the Lady Archbishop for, but I'm afraid information is not among that list. It was under her careful attention that I am as you see before you, but as to the particulars..." Trailing off, Sigurd shook his head.

Hesitant, heavy from the sheer expectation in the air, Sigurd continued; "I suppose in time, I will figure everything out. I would be happy to have you by my side when that time comes. For now..." His voice broke fully, and the restraint he had over his muscles laxed and he opened his arms, "Would it be all right to give an old man a hug?"

#in character #thread: pentimento #interaction: virtuoustyrfing #who hasn't sobbed today

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xelasrecords · 2 years ago

Text

The Worth of Gifts

Han Jumin x Reader

This is basically a love letter to Jumin because that one line that he said in his route lives in my head rent-free. Waking up at 6.30 am on the weekend just to write this was worth it.

Words: 1.4k

Masterlist Read on AO3

"I have brought a couple of things for you, my love." Jumin rushed in a flurry of cold wind as he entered the bedroom that you shared together, his navy blue coat billowing behind him. He settled down a horde of shopping bags on the bed that you were lounging on. They had lined both his arms up to his elbows and you found it curious that he was doing the hard work alone, without the presence of a trailing assistant nearby.

You had been on your phone engrossed in your favourite TV series when Jumin came in. Immediately, you sat up straight and scanned the bags of different colours and sizes that were strewn across the bedding. "A couple of things?" You raised your eyebrows at him. "I don't think I would define it that way. Which dictionary are you using? Maybe I should get one too to understand you better."

"A dictionary? I'm afraid I don't have one ready at my disposal. I calibrated my purchase decision based on the number of things I wish to give you, and these barely count towards anything." Jumin was about to expound on it more when he saw your face lighting up with mischief. "Ah, you were teasing me."

You gave him a playful shrug. "Maybe?"

"I see." His lips curved into a sly smile that matched your own.

You took account of the things he got you. They were things you had mentioned in passing or had pinned on your Pinterest boards and saved in your wish list. It was astonishing that he remembered everything. That he remembered and thought to gift them to you because he thought it would make you happy.

Throughout your life, all you wanted was to be known, to be seen by someone who loved you and someone whom you loved back. And here he was, showing you how much he knew you so casually as if it was a given. This love language of his, although it overwhelmed you at first, was something you could learn to get used to in time. You had never been pampered lavishly before, but hey, there was a first time for everything.

"Jumin, love," you started.

"Yes, darling?"

"Why did you get me so many things?" You looked at him in awe. "I appreciate everything you bought me. I mean, do you know how long I've longed for these?" You shook your head while peeking into the bags. "You are something else, Jumin. But I have to wonder, why of this magnitude?"

"This isn't anything. I can do so much more for you."

"I know, but why?" You pressed, genuinely curious.

Jumin wasn't one who would deflect from sensitive questions that came from his beloved. Like you, he wanted you to know everything about him. He was secretly relieved that the both of you shared the same desire. He couldn't imagine being with someone who couldn't care less about his more vulnerable side.

"If you must know, it's because that's what everyone expects from me since I was little," he said, his head tilted down almost imperceptibly. You didn't miss it, and you detected a slight tremble in his voice nearing the end of the sentence.

It tugged at your heartstrings seeing him like this. Carefully, you pushed aside the shopping bags and crawled towards him. You came to a kneel in front of him and swept your fingers through his tousled dark bangs. "You don't have to prove your love to me through material means. My love isn't something to be earned or bought. You deserve to be loved simply because you exist." You took a breath, diffusing the anger that burned in your chest at the unfair expectations Jumin had to live up to since he was young. No kid should ever shoulder that kind of responsibility, and that included corporate heirs. "I love you for being the Jumin that you are."

He raised his eyes on you, and you found his gaze faltering, unsure. It was a silent urge to go on. "Think about it. Think about how our relationship first developed. In the beginning, I was interested in you because you're smart and funny in the most unexpected ways. Then, I saw how caring you are towards your friends and family. How you offer unwavering support for them despite being the butt of their jokes most of the time." You brushed the back of your hand against his cheek and he leaned into your touch.

"I just did what I had to," he muttered.

You couldn't let Jumin throw out more self-undermining statements. For someone so confident and self-assured, it hurt to see that he felt the need to cover up this part of him before his own friends. "You have that sense of duty because you love us. Deny it as much as you want, but it doesn't diminish the truth. You know, it surprised me how non-judgmental you actually are despite the firm personal beliefs that you hold. You let other people be themselves, and that's what I want for you, especially when it comes to this relationship." Your hand found its way to the back of his neck, compelling him to raise his eyes to you. "Don't ever think that you can only be accepted if you provide enough things for me. You are enough. I'm happy with you even without them."

Jumin was silent. When you were talking with such ferocity, you didn't notice that you had inclined your body so close towards him, near enough that your noses were touching.

Jumin rested his forehead against yours. "How do you always know the right things to say?" he breathed out.

"I only see what is already in you." You pressed a brief, tender kiss on his lips, tasting the cold air from his earlier excursion outside.

"Thank you for reminding me of your love," Jumin said, his expression an earnest reflection of how he felt about you.

"You can always ask for one whenever you need it. I'm your endless supply of support."

"What would I have to give in exchange for this dubiously free support?"

You grinned. "Nothing, I'm naturally generous! Just press the button and I'll come running spewing out motivational speech. I won't stop until you wind me down."

"Wind you down," Jumin appeared to be in thought before continuing, "like this?" He stole a quick peck on your neck.

Instantly, you felt heat rising up your cheeks. "Hey! That'd just wind me up," you scoffed.

"Then I'd have to do it more often." He attacked you with tiny kisses all over your face, nose, chin, and jaw, and trailed down to your shoulder. You burst into laughter, pretending to pull away from him but bringing him down on the bed with you instead.

The shopping bags around you rustled. Jumin toppled on top of you and you could feel the fabric of his dress pants rubbing against your bare thighs. He was smiling and man, your heart was taking flight on its own. This beautiful, beautiful man. You could never get bored of looking at him. He was above Greek statues. He was real.

"I love you," Jumin said quietly.

"Funny. I feel the same way." You tapped on his nose. "But we probably should get these out of the way if we want to do more." You gestured at the sea of bags lying nearby and wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. "I don't want to ruin these gifts you procured for me with blood, sweat, and tears."

Jumin sighed. "Must we? I can just get the replacement for them later."

"We absolutely must."

"Fine." He was about to push himself back up when he halted. "Wait, I have to clarify. Do you mind if I still buy you things?"

You propped yourself up on your elbows. "Of course I don't. You're allowed to shower me with love, only don't do it to prove your worth to me."

Jumin took a second before replying. "Earlier, you expressed your wish to understand me, but you seem to have understood me well. Sometimes even better than I do myself." He chuckled to himself before training his eyes on you again. "I want to understand you deeper too if you would let me."

That wasn't even a question. "Once again, you're allowed, Jumin." You dragged him into another kiss, the mess around you be damned.

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#jumin x reader #jumin han #jumin #jumin x mc #mysme jumin #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger #mm jumin #mm #mystic messenger fanfiction #mysme #jumin han fluff #mystic messenger imagines #xela writes #jumin han comfort #jumin han fanfic

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h4ji · 4 years ago

Text

─ I JUST NEED YOU

summary: you and kei get into an argument, reassurance is the only way to appease you both

warnings: car sex, oral, creampie and mention of reader having a vagina AND NOT PROOFREAD

requested: yes

wc: 1.8k

a/n: hope you enjoy! sorry if it wasn’t to expectation, was a little harder for me to write

the bitter cold is ever so evident as goosebumps arise on your arm. the various gusts of wind biting at your arms and face. the dark and narrow path of the street made you feel lonely, like nothing before. the thin fleece of your clothing doing nothing to provide any warmth while tears well up in your eyes again as you remember the words your beloved tsukki spoke to you. tsukishima’s words replay in your head, surely he didn’t mean it…did he?

tsukishima knew you feared you’d be too clingy, it was something you wished you could both avoid often, but you wish he’d open up to you, so it wouldn’t feel like being clingy would be the only way you’d get a reaction out of him. fighting was somewhat of a norm now and he never expressed his emotions to you no matter how much you cried and died inside. but you remember his icy stern glare biting at your shivering frame. “can’t you just leave me alone for one goddamn second” he snarks out, his eyes looking at you with pure anger, something that was new.

your mind was frazzled and couldn’t come up with anything to say. until, “it doesn’t hurt to show some compassion, or any emotion at that other than anger tsukishima,’ you say bluntly. your fists balled up in desperation as you look at him. the shocked expression on his face says it all. would he retort? would he say something feisty back? what would this mean for your relationship?

your previous fights have never gone for this long and the loud silence started to become unbearable. his cold golden brown eyes stare into you, with no interest, and it makes you shiver. “showing emotion and vulnerability isn’t necessary y/n” he pauses, almost as of thinking, “the type of vulnerability you seek from me isn’t going to come, it makes people weak and-” he’s cut off by your loud sobs. “then what does that make me? some weakling because i show emotions? showing emotion doesn’t make you weak-” you ramble on, tsukishima doesn’t listen. it isn’t until you’re finished that he feels like he can breathe. “well, y/n, when your emotions get in the way of things so small like a relationship it becomes a hindrance. your constant need to be in contact with me and for affection is embarrassing”, he snarls out, his brows furrowed in… disgust? anger? frustration? you wouldn’t know.

he couldn’t have meant the things he said… well if he blurted them out like that, they must have some truth? ironically enough, the sky gradually got darker while you were caught up in your thoughts. the faint prickle of the rain was felt on your skin, “well that’s just great,” you think, it just had to rain. you find refuge under the bus stop waiting area, contemplating whether you should call kei or not.

little did you know, kei was frantically searching for you. driving around in the pouring rain trying to find you. something in the back of your mind tells you that kei is coming for you and not to leave, so you stay put. you were wondering what kei would say to you first, would he apologize? or would he just ignore the argument? would he make it up to you? your mind was going at 100 mph, you didn’t even notice your boyfriend’s car pull up in front of you. his body moves before his mind can comprehend anything, all he knows is that he needs you in his arms, safe and sound. his slim and long arms wrap around your cold frame. all you can feel is tsukki’s frame shaking against yours, it's almost as if he was….sobbing. was he badly shaken up by what had happened earlier? it didn’t seem like too much of a big deal. the constant shaking of his frame and the tight embrace he has you in, it makes you feel protected, but you also wanted to protect him. you’d never seen him this way, he was always the more emotionally unavailable one, he did have his moments though and this was one of them.

phrases of “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it” were all you could hear from him. you couldn’t tell if drops of rain were hitting your back or if it was your lover’s tears, nonetheless you were happy to be back with him.

he pulls you towards the vehicle, opening the door for you and persisting that you sit down. once you do, he shuts the door and jogs to the other side, sitting down in the driver's seat and inching his hand towards yours, which is resting in between you both.

“i’ll be better, i promise” he starts off, “i’ll work on expressing myself more and-” you shut him up by placing your soft lips on his, tasting the salty tears that had poured down earlier. “We’ll be okay, we’ll work it out…together. “i just need you, right now” you blurt out after your lips are no longer touching. his cheeks flush as the words come out of your mouth, “r-right now? but-” he starts. “you can make it up to me this way, kei” you smile at him and who was he to not comply with your needs. your hand slowly moves its way upward, towards the zipper of his pants. his knuckles turn white because of the tight grip he has on the steering wheel. once his length was freed, the cold air hit it, making tsukki shiver in surprise. it was even more of a surprise when he felt your mouth wrap around him, warmth emitting from the space.

it was getting hot, too hot. his hand finds its way to your head, resting it on top. and he was getting turned on even more, the fact that you could get caught, the fact that someone could see, that thrill was throwing him over the edge. the warmth of your throat encasing his cock, his tip hits the back of your throat, and that’s just enough to push him over. his cock twitches in your throat before you pull your mouth off. “cum on my face” you state, not demanding but not asking. his hand tugs on his hard cock, while you tongue his slit. “f-fuck, i’m close”, he groans out.

both of you gasp as his thick and sticky cum hits your face, some of it gracefully landing into your mouth as well. the taste wasn’t too salty on your tongue, but you wouldn’t say it was sweet. out of instinct you swallow the cum that fell into your mouth, and at that lew sight, tsukki swears he could cum again, on the spot.

you sit back against the leather seat of the car, the heat ever so evident. then you feel kei’s cold and slender fingers find their way between your thighs. his fingers prodding and rubbing against your pussy. he finally inserts a digit, it reaches so far back, farther than your own fingers could ever reach. his thumb rubs gentle figure eights onto your clit. you almost forget for a second that you still have his cum stringed on your face, until kei’s free hand wipes at your face and pushes his cum soaked fingers into your mouth. you opt to suck and lap at the cum on his fingers. your moans are drowned out by the soft music that kei opted to play in the car, but all you could focus on was the feeling of his fingers in your mouth and on your clit.

it doesn’t take long until tsukki finds your sweet spot, the spot that craves attention the more turned on you get. “f-fuck kei right there, right there. oh fuck, i’m gonna cum” you whine out as your legs lock, your hand wrapping around his wrist as you come all over his digits and he smirks as your cum leaks onto the expensive leather seats. “get into the backseat” he says bluntly and you comply, no questions asked. luckily the back wasn’t too cramped because kei also moves to the back, his arms holding your legs apart as his face sits between both of your thighs. “don’t be too loud, hmm” he grins before his tongue laps up at the remnants of your previous orgasm, sweet tasting on his taste buds. your hands weave into his hair, gripping on it as his tongue circles your clit before flicking the sensitive bud of nerves. “ngh, ah fuck, mmm” you whine out at the pleasure, gripping his golden locks even tighter as your thighs attempt to close in with no avail. the feeling of his wet tongue on you proves to be too much, you come all over his mouth and it leaks onto the plush fleece of the seat.

just when you thought it was over, tsukki flips you over his body flush against yours as he rubs the tip of his cock against your folds. “just one more for me, mmkay? you’re so good for me, so you can handle this last orgasm. i just need you, all of you” he whispers against the skin of your shoulder before placing a small kiss as he inserts himself. the quiet moans and groans emitting from you both fill up the empty space of the hot car. “kei, please move-”, you beg, but your begging is cut off my kei’s thrusts into you. you feel so full, maybe it's the sensitivity to all touch, or maybe its the fact that kei indeed was a bit on the longer side. his cock feels like its hitting the end of your cervix, it stung a little but it felt so good. being filled to the brim by the person you love was an experience in itself.

it didn’t take you long to cum: the aroma around you, the heat, the overstimulation, constant sensitivity, the sound of skin slapping, the wet kisses kei leaves on your shoulder and the knotting in your stomach tightening was all too much, you’d be pushed over the edge. but you didn’t only cum on his cock, no, that wasn’t enough for tsukki. he needed you to squirt on his cock, he needed to prove and show that you’d never be too much for him and that he’d always love you no matter what. his body is flush against yours as he makes no means to stop thrusting into you. the pleasure turning into slight pain, but good pain. before you even realized it, kei cums into you, which is enough to push you over the edge. as his cum leaks out of you, it's further pushed out by the new orgasm you have, gushing everywhere.

kei is so satisfied to have you squirt on his cock, but he wasn’t happy that his cum was pushed out. he’d just have to fill you up again. but before he could plunge into you again, he realized it was best to go home, you’d both be more comfortable. “i just need you. As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay” he smiles before redressing in order to drive back to the comfort of your home.

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iguana-eyanna · 3 years ago

Text

What Was Left Behind Pt. 4

Summary: After the events of the Sokovia Accords, Steve is now a fugitive to the U.S.A. government and has left you in the worst way possible. What happens when fate reunites the two again when you are most vulnerable?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x pregnant reader

Warning: mentions of blood, cursing, sensitive topics within the pregnancy, complications of health

Steve’s Pov:

“Y/N!” I screamed again as she started to fall down. I caught her before she hit the floor. I ran with her in my arms to medbay, screaming for help. The doctors placed her in a gurney as they placed her in a room.

“Her heart rate is too low, I don’t think she’s able to breathe on her own.” a doctor screamed out, giving orders to the nurses to bring a breathing mask and other instruments. I tried going up to her, but people were restricting me to even be one foot away from her.

“Steve…” someone said as they grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and saw Sam. “Let them work on her, right now she needs more help from them than from you right now.” That stung a bit as I looked back at her, her figure so pale and I just felt like I was abandoning her again.

“I’ll stay outside until she’s stable.” I said, sitting down on a chair outside of her room. “Okay…” Sam said, sticking to his word and stayed at my side.

It felt like hours as I was waiting for the doctor until one of them came out, looking a bit hopeless. “How is she?” I asked as I quickly got up. The doctor looks down as if he was looking for the right words to say.

“Her stability to survive the night is unlikely. Her white blood cell count has decreased for so long due to the pregnancy. It seems like the only way for her to live is to-“ I cut him off “NO. I am not letting you terminate the baby.”

'My baby,' I thought.

The doctor nodded as if he understood the situation. “IS there any way that both can survive?” Sam asked for me as I was trying to wrap my head. “Well… there is a way. A blood transfusion can work, she’ll be able to regain back the vitamins she lost. But we don’t know how long that transfusion can take.”

I looked up at him. “I’ll do it.” I said sternly. The doctor looked surprised. “Mr. Rogers, with all due respect, you have a mission in less than 5 hours. This transfusion can take up to almost three days, and we have no idea if she’ll be able to take your blood."

I held my ground and looked at him with all the spite I had. “This woman is my wife, I would die knowing that I could save her and our child’s life.” The doctor nodded slowly “We’ll get the transfusion machine right away, go prep next to her on the left side of her.”

I urgently walked in and saw her almost lifeless figure. I take off my jacket and lie down. Sam goes in tow. “I’ll let the team know you’ll be staying.” I didn’t say anything as my eyes never left her. “And Steve…” Sam added before he left “Don’t let her give up on you. You lost her once, don’t make the same mistake again.” I lower my head and nod at Sam.

Sam leaves as a nurse approaches me with the machine and needle. After the nurses and doctor cleared my vitals and Y/n of her stable condition, I looked at her, praying that she'll open her beautiful eyes again.

I didn't sleep that night as all I could do was stare at her. 'How could I do this?' My thoughts kept repeating.

"Why didn't I just come home?" I whispered out loud, staring at the ceiling.

"Because you thought she'll be ok." a voice grabbed my attention.

I shot up to see Fury walking forward. "Catch." he says, flicking his wrist towards me. I grab the tiny item and look down to see y/n's ring. I quickly see how y/n didn't have her ring on in the time that she was here.

"Before you start babbling," Fury said. "Imma tell you how I first met this girl. It was the end of 1991 at the funeral for the Starks. I was representing S.H.I.E.L.D. to share my condolences to the family. Tony was a no-show and the only person that stood at the front of the burial site was y/n. She was 6 years old and never have I seen such a strong kid going through that alone."

Fury pauses as he turns around to see you as your chest slowly rises and falls. "So when I hear that this strong kid is going through hell, I dropped whatever damn thing I was doing to make sure she was alright. I couldn't decide whether to kick you or her brother's ass for breaking her like that."

I clench the ring harder in my hand. "I was keeping her safe. I didn't know she was suffering." I said crestfallen.

Fury got up and stood to stare at y/n, facing his back to me.

"Son, there's a difference between duty and sacrifice. You thought as a soldier to protect her. You didn't think of a husband to love her. Because of your selfishness, Tony lashed out his pain on her. That made her think she had to leave her job and the fortune she tirelessly earned in order to keep your kid alive." He turns around again to look at me.

"You've got two choices: You choose the easy way out and still go on missions but knowing she'll be in good hands with the kid. Or, you risk leaving the life you've been fighting all these years to regain her trust. Maybe, just maybe... she'll forgive you. Deciding to stay in love with you is her decision alone." Fury concludes as he walks away.

I feel my shoulders uncontrollably shake as my eyes flood with tears. I begin to sob, realizing what I have done. I cry myself to sleep, with one thought that tortured my mind.

What if she gave up on me like I gave up on her?

*end of pov*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your eyes start to feel heavy as if you were in a deep coma. You fight the urge in order to open your eyes, but soon regret it as you are greeted by a harsh light. You blink furiously in order to gain consciousness, taking in your surroundings.

It appeared that you must have fainted and been transported to the medbay. You take a harsh breath in and realize you're wearing an oxygen mask. You try taking it off with your left hand but soon realize that you’re wired up with needles and monitors. You follow one wire to your far left, seeing someone you didn’t want to be with.

“Y/n?” you heard your name from his lips, oh how you missed those lips. He gets off of the bed with the IV attached to his right hand and walks to the side of your bed. He looks at you with concern as he’s trying to figure out how to approach you.

You use your right hand to take out your mask. “What happened? Is the baby alright?” you asked now frantically, trying to bend your neck to see your belly. Steve slowly gets up, trying to be careful of all the wires attached, sitting down on a chair nearest to you.

“Your white blood count was declining so you needed a blood transfusion. The baby is alright, you can hear its heartbeat now.” He pointed to the nearest heart monitor. You sit up a bit as you now hear the heart monitor’s soft beats. You feel the hot tears rolling down your face, crying of relief.

You didn't realize how much you were weeping till Steve was holding you for support, trying to take away your pain. He wipes both of your tears with his free hand, guiding your view to his. “This… this is all my fault. I did this to you and them…” he said, staring down at your protruding belly.

“I lost your trust, I lost your love, but dear God I don't want to lose both of you.” he whimpered with such distraughtness. With your right hand, you hold his face in your palm.

You wanted to open your mouth, wanting to forgive him and say everything will be alright. But you were still hurting from the wounds that haven't healed. Instead of speaking, your foreheads meet, forming a sort of alignment in your strange estate.

This was the closest you both have been in months. “Promise..." you stop in mid-sentence, thinking that Steve takes that word as a worthless phrase.

"Just say you’ll stay,” you whispered softly.

He looks at you with such compassion, almost wanting to kiss those lips he has missed. But for the time being, he knew you felt differently so he kissed your temple.

“I will.”

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#steve rogers #chris evans #steve x reader #steve rogers x stark!reader #steve rogers x pregnant reader #steve rogers x reader #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #pregnant reader #steve rogers imagines #captain america #america's ass

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just-another-blog-of-fluff · 3 years ago

Text

A Game of Jealousy

Word count: 4050

This one is focused more from Loki's perspective, lots of fluff (and tickles!) Guest starring Bucky 😎

* * *

Loki never needed anyone to make him happy. He’d spent the better part of his life on his own, learning to rely on himself and not others for comfort. He’d been lied to his entire life by his parents, and while his relationship with his brother was at least improving gradually over time, he still remained very guarded, afraid that anyone he let in would only hurt him the way everyone else in his life had done. No, Loki felt he was better off alone.

That is, until he met you.

You had joined the team about a year ago, just a few months after Loki himself had finally given in to his brother’s persistent requests for him to move into the Avengers tower. The others were polite enough, but Loki could still sense the fear and anger in their eyes when they looked his way. Thor insisted they would warm up to him over time if he’d just try to be more sociable, but it was difficult to bring himself to want to spend time with people who burned holes into his soul with their eyes.

The day you had arrived to move into the tower to join the team, your few belongings in hand, his curiosity was piqued almost instantly. Steve had showed you around that first day, introducing you to all the members of the team. Loki had been in the study, reading in one of the oversized armchairs Tony had furnished the place with, when he saw Steve walking by the doorway with you in tow. You’d paused for a moment, taking a few paces backward to peek inside the room, eyes trained on Loki. He had braced himself for the inevitable exclamation of surprise and fear when you realized that you were living in the same building as the monster who tried to take over the city.

But it never came. You had merely smiled at him, waving in greeting, and introduced yourself as you would with anyone else. Even when he told you his name, your eyes lit up in recognition, but without an ounce of fear. You had hurried along to catch up with Steve after expressing your pleasure to have met him, a slight bounce in your step as you disappeared from sight.

He couldn’t deny it – he was intrigued by you.

Loki’s interest only grew as he began to get to know you more over the next couple of months. The first day he had seen you working with Natasha in the training room, you had impressed him with your grit and determination, not to mention the graceful ferocity with which you fought. And you were smart, too. He’d never forget the day Tony was teasing you, and you’d come up with such a witty retort that even Tony had to applaud you.

Unfortunately, Loki wasn’t the only one in the tower who had started noticing you.

As you became more integrated with the team, the others began to get more physically affectionate toward you. You spent a lot of time with Wanda, often leaning against her on the couch as you watched TV or giving her hand a squeeze when one of you was excited about something. Steve often put a comforting hand on your shoulder after a rough day of training or patted your back in encouragement when you came back from a successful mission. The friendly gestures never bothered Loki to any significant degree.

But there were other team members, notably single team members, whose advances tended to irk him more than the others. Thor was one of the worst offenders, as it was in his nature to wrap any one of his friends into a giant bear hug whenever he saw them. Bucky often liked to push your buttons, teasing you and egging you on until you’d start play wrestling with him on the couch. Even Bruce, on occasion, would wrap an arm around you in a side hug and squeeze you against his side for a moment in silent thanks whenever you’d help him with something in the lab.

He wasn’t jealous, of course. He just… wished they’d give you more personal space sometimes.

You were physically affectionate with Loki as well, which took some time for him to get used to at first. Once Loki started swallowing his pride and began initiating conversations with you instead of waiting for you to talk to him, the two of you became fast friends. He found he didn’t mind it when you squeezed his arm after a jump scare during team movie night, or if you rested your head on his shoulder on a long plane ride home from a mission. Dare he say… he even enjoyed it a bit. Recently, he’d developed enough confidence to initiate physical contact with you himself – giving you a quick hug goodnight when walking you to your room after a late-night conversation or resting his hand on your knee when sitting side by side on the couch.

Yes, you were someone he was willing to tolerate.

One evening, Loki was wandering through the compound, trying to find a quiet place to sit and read. Normally he lounged in the study, but it seemed Peter had overtaken the room with his schoolbooks as he studied frantically for one of his final exams the next day, and he showed no signs of leaving. He decided it would be easiest just to read in his room tonight but decided to swing by the kitchen to grab a glass of water before making his way back there.

As he paced down the hallway, a sound coming from the common room captured his attention. He drew near enough to the door to elucidate that it was your bright, infectious laughter that he was hearing. His heart swelled at the sound. Loki very much enjoyed making you laugh, often telling you embarrassing stories of Thor from their childhood, or otherwise whispering inappropriate jokes in your ear during team meetings, just so he could hear you snort before erupting with giggles. He reached the common room and stood in the doorway, trying to identify the cause for your hysterics.

You and Bucky were sitting on the large sofa in the common room. Although, admittedly, you couldn’t really call it sitting. You were leaning away from the super soldier, giggling frantically and swatting at his hands as he wiggled his fingers into your sides.

“Buckyhyhy! Cut it out!” you ordered, grasping at his wrists. Bucky’s agile hands evaded yours, poking and prodding at your belly and sides.

“What? What’s the matter? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish,” he teased, squeezing gently above your kneecaps, and eliciting a squeal.

A pang of jealousy stung in Loki’s chest. He had discovered your ticklishness a few months ago himself, having accidentally jabbed you a bit too gently in the side during an impromptu sparring session. When he dug his fingers into your torso with more intent, you had shrieked and laughed, but hadn’t pushed away as hard as he knew you could. He interpreted it as you enjoying the playfulness, or at least not minding it all that much. Since then, he had experimented on occasion, proudly discovering over time that you were definitely most sensitive right along your ribs where your back and sides met. He delighted in the silly, giggly mess you became when he scribbled his fingers into that spot, practically melting into his side as your muscles weakened with laughter.

Now, watching you and Bucky as he tested out your vulnerable spots, he felt his throat tighten a bit. He knew he had to find a way to interrupt this little exchange without letting on how he was really feeling inside. Luckily, the God of Mischief knew how to tell a good lie, and above all he most definitely knew how to spin a partial truth.

“You’re doing it wrong, Barnes,” he called into the room, leaning with his forearm propped against the doorway. Both you and Bucky glanced up at him, Bucky’s fingers slowing a bit against the back of your knee but not quite stopping.

“L-Lokihihi! Help!” you pleaded, a bright smile on your face, cheeks tinged with the exertion of your laughter. His heart skipped a bit at the request, proud that you would seek his assistance to escape the winter soldier. But he had to hold firm in his resolve. He couldn’t let you think he was soft for you, after all.

“Now, why would I want to do that? It’s so entertaining to watch you squirm.” He flashed you an evil grin, slowly striding into the room. “Move over, Barnes. Allow me to demonstrate.”

Bucky obliged, an equally mischievous smirk on his face. “Please, do tell!”

Loki motioned to you to scoot closer to Bucky so he could sit on your other side, gently pushing you over when you refused to make space for him on your own accord. You were now sandwiched between him and the super soldier, glancing nervously between the two men. In a desperate attempt to escape, you suddenly leapt to your feet to make a run for the door. Loki predicted your movement, his hands pulling you back down by your waist before you could even fully stand up.

“Ah, ah! You won’t be going anywhere, darling,” Loki teased, holding you in place while he leaned around you to look at Bucky. He ignored your desperate protests in favor of keeping you trapped there beside him. “Now then. First, you must understand that you won’t be able to access her worst spot until you weaken her adequately. Personally, I enjoy beginning right here.” He slid his hands slid around your waist to your belly, fingers drumming tauntingly against your T-shirt. Loki felt your muscles stiffen immediately under his touch, which made him grin.

“Loki! What the hell! Why are you helpihiHING HIHIHIM?” Your scolding of your mischievous friend was made much less intimidating as giggles bubbled from your lips once again, Loki’s fingers having sprung into action, expertly skimming across your belly. Your hands closed around his wrists and tugged to try to remove them from your sensitive torso, but Loki maintained his hold on you.

“Ah, yes, I see that is quite effective,” Bucky noted somberly, his eyes flashing. “Please, continue to show me your ways.”

“Notice that she will continue to fight you when you tickle her here, but trust that her laughter is slowly beginning to weaken her,” Loki continued, conversing casually as if he weren’t torturing you. “However, if you aren’t cautious-“

“Ha!” you shouted triumphantly, having twisted out of his grip and jumped to your feet.

“-she may find a way to escape.”

“That is unfortunate,” Bucky lamented. “What do you suggest if that were to occur?”

“No! No suggestions!” you demanded, defiantly holding out a hand toward the boys to protect yourself. Loki raised his eyebrows, looking up at you with a serious expression, although he was unable to prevent a smirk from pulling at the corners of his lips. You appeared so much more composed on the battlefield and in the training room – seeing you so disheveled, yet still with an involuntary smile on your face, made a thrill run through Loki’s chest.

“If she does escape,” Loki continued, completely disregarding your protests, and trying desperately not to start laughing at your adorably indignant expression, “you simply need to ensure you have a backup plan. Catch her off guard, if you will. Like this-“

Taking advantage of his inhuman speed, he lunged forward and grabbed your leg just behind your knee, causing your leg to buckle unexpectedly beneath you. He chuckled as he watched you stumble a bit on your other leg to try to remain standing but couldn’t maintain your balance and toppled to the floor. Loki swiftly took advantage of your bewilderment at finding yourself suddenly on the ground, standing up and grabbing hold of your ankle.

“Now, you won’t find her worst spot on her legs or feet, but she is most definitely still sensitive here – this can serve to weaken her resolve further,” Loki continued, fully aware that he was causing a blush to rise in your cheeks now as he tugged on your ankle to straighten your leg, yanking you onto your back. You began cursing at him, which he quickly silenced by dusting his fingertips across the sole of your trapped foot. He had discovered this spot a few weeks ago, when you had refused to move your legs to allow him a place to sit. Not to be deterred, he had plopped himself down atop your shins, grinning at you as he had tested your reaction to his fingers dragging up the bottoms of your feet. The frenzied giggles this elicited from you were some of his favorites, only encouraging him to want to continue with the torment.

“But what about her knees? Will that help to weaken her resolve?” Bucky queried, smirking down at you as you shot him a glare.

“Allow me to show you,” Loki obliged, his hand moving to scratch against the delicate underside of your knee. You snorted, then, and he nearly broke his façade by laughing aloud. He experimentally pinched your calf muscle gently, just below your knee, and was not disappointed by your sudden violent jerking of your leg away from his touch. “Ah, a new weak spot. You see, even being an expert at tormenting our little friend, you can still learn something new.” Loki was speaking to Bucky but kept his eyes trained on you, smirking as you beat your fist against the floor in protest.

“I thought wehehe were friends!!” you cried through your laughter. Feeling somewhat merciful, Loki paused his torture and lowered your leg back to the ground, offering you a hand up.

“I apologize, darling; are you tired of this?” Loki asked, holding a hand down to you in offering to help you to your feet. He kept his hand outstretched as you sat up on the floor, your eyes fixed on his, brows furrowed as if trying to decipher whether he was tricking you. Hesitantly, you took his hand. Your skin was pleasantly warm against his own, which almost made him regret what he was about to do.

Almost.

No sooner had your feet rooted onto the ground beneath you did he grab hold of your arm, spinning you around and wrapping both arms tight around your waist. He wasted no time dragging you backward so your back was flush against his chest, his ticklish touch making its way to your lower ribs. You let out a shriek, followed by rambunctious belly laughter. He relished in the feeling of your giggles vibrating against his chest as he tightened his grip around your waist, holding fast against your desperate thrashing.

“If you can convince the girl to trust you,” he continued, having to speak loudly to be heard over your squealing, “an unwise decision, honestly,” he added, his voice rumbling low in your ear, “you may be able to trick her into falling into your trap.” You screamed his name as he walked his fingers agonizingly slowly up your ribcage, your fingers hooking around his wrists and pulling desperately at his hands.

“An excellent tip, thanks for that,” Bucky teased. You whined at his words, which somehow only made your laughter even more adorable. Loki had the sudden urge to squeeze you tighter and nuzzle his nose into your neck, but he thought that you might interpret such a gesture as a flirtatious advance, and he didn’t want to spoil this little game.

At this point you were doubled over, hands weakly tugging at Loki’s fingers as your muscles began to fatigue. Loki could sense that you were leaning more and more of your weight on his arms as you tired, forcing him to tighten his grip even further to keep you from collapsing onto the floor. He slowed his torment a bit, allowing you a moment to rest. You gasped for air, your chest heaving under his forearms with every breath.

“Notice, Barnes, that she has weakened considerably by this point,” Loki explained, continuing under the ruse of showing Bucky how to torture you. “It is only at this level of exhaustion that you will be able to target her one true weak spot.”

Loki felt you jolt at his suggestion, twisting your torso as much as you could in his vice-like grip to look back at him, wide-eyed. You shook your head, pleading with him. He hardened his expression, albeit with some difficulty as he was struggling to wipe the smile off his face, and he splayed his fingers across your ribs so his fingertips rested just along that overly sensitive spot near your back on each side. You were already giggling, bracing yourself for the inevitable torment that was to come.

“Ahahahaha… please Loki, you dohohon’t have to do thihihis!” you begged, pouting at him. Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that, his heart melting at your tiny frown and protruding bottom lip. For a moment, he considered releasing you. But then again, he was getting drunk off of your sweet laughter, and he wasn’t ready for it to stop.

“Sorry, love – I have to show Barnes how to tickle you properly,” he lamented, a faux sympathetic smile on his lips. Before you could beg him once more and break his resolve, he went in for the kill, fingers drilling into the crevices between your ribs. You screeched, torso jerking in his grip for a moment before going limp as you accepted your fate. Loki knew exactly how to tickle you, his fingers expertly vibrating against your ribcage until your laughter became silent. He finally relented after that, loosening his hold so you could catch your breath but not releasing you yet.

With his arms loosened, he could lean around to get a better view of your face. Your cheeks were bright, small tears of mirth collecting in the corners of your eyes. You still had a smile plastered across your face, so wide it caused your nose to scrunch up the tiniest bit. Loki’s heart fluttered at the sight of you, pleased that he had been the cause of your giddy laughter.

“That was an excellent demonstration,” Bucky observed, winking at you as you groaned. “Could I give it a go?”

Loki hesitated, and you stiffened, already arguing with the super soldier. He had anticipated this might occur, given he was supposedly teaching Bucky how to tickle you ‘correctly.’ Still, the idea of having to watch Bucky’s fingers skittering over your belly or scribbling into your knees made his throat burn with jealousy. If he refused, though, he would almost surely give away his feelings.

Reluctantly, though he hid it well, Loki motioned for Bucky to take his place behind you, releasing you only once Bucky’s arms snaked around your waist. Your pleas for mercy were quickly drowned out by your laughter once again as Bucky’s fingers spidered along your ribcage.

“You weren’t kidding – this is much more effective,” Bucky noted, your resolve already weakened from the prior bout of torment. Loki watched as you leaned involuntarily backward into the winter soldier, your head resting back against his shoulder as you submitted to his ticklish onslaught. Loki’s fingers contracted into a tight fist at his side, willing himself not to intervene and give away his displeasure. But damn it, if watching Bucky’s fingers exploring your ticklish sides wasn’t setting a fire in his belly. It felt as though someone had grabbed hold of his heart in his chest and was squeezing it painfully tightly in their clutches.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

Knowing you wouldn’t appreciate if he lashed out at your friend, Loki placed a firm hand on Bucky’s forearm, urging him to stop without saying a word. Confusion etched itself into Bucky’s features as he stilled his fingers against your sides, his grip around you loosening. Your eyes were shimmering with exertion as you looked up at Loki pleadingly.

“I believe she has had enough for today,” Loki stated sternly. He took a step toward the two of you, swiftly scooping you up bridal style in his arms without a second thought. You let out a squeak of surprise as your feet left the ground, your arms instinctively reaching up to wrap around Loki’s neck to stabilize yourself. He turned back around with you in his arms, looking Bucky in the eye. “I’ll be taking her now, thank you.”

Bucky held Loki’s gaze, his face contorting from confusion to surprise, then finally to a knowing smirk. He nodded in approval, waving him off nonchalantly as he returned to his original seat on the couch and turned on the television. Loki carried you out of the room, a fuzzy warmth spreading through his chest as you began to giggle once again, leaning your head into his shoulder.

He arrived at your room, opening the door with his magic so as not to risk dropping you, then turned to avoid striking your head on the doorframe as he carried you inside. Carefully, he set you down on your bed. You sat up, your legs dangling off the edge of the bed as you smiled up at him.

“Your savior has rescued you from the winter soldier’s clutches,” Loki teased, smirking.

“Excuse me – my savior? If I recall, you were the one who nearly tickled me to death,” you retorted, playfully shoving him as he sat down beside you on the bed.

“You enjoyed every minute of it, love,” he smirked, giving you a swift poke in the side to make you jump. You smirked back at him with mischief in your eyes.

“You know, I know exactly what you were doing back there.” Something in your calculated gaze made Loki’s heartbeat quicken ever so slightly.

“Is that so? And what is it you think I was doing?” Loki asked, trying to keep his tone casual and sarcastic to avoid giving himself away. You leaned closer to him, bravely holding his gaze.

“You were jealous of Bucky,” you declared. “You couldn’t stand to see him with his hands on me, even when it was as innocent as tickling. You don’t think I noticed?”

Loki opened his mouth to retort, but for quite possibly the first time in his life, the silver-tongued god was at a loss for words. You maddeningly perceptive thing. You’d seen straight through his little façade and into his heart. Your eyes glowed with the triumph of having silenced the God of Mischief with just a simple observation.

“Do you deny it?” you queried, your grin expanding. Loki sighed, recognizing he’d been caught.

“No, love. I can’t deny it.”

“Good.” Your hand reached up to touch his cheek, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. The shock of your sudden advance was quickly replaced by elation, and Loki kissed you back fervently. His hands found your waist, gently grasping your hips with enough weight in his touch to keep from tickling you. He felt you smile sweetly against his lips. When you finally broke away, Loki lifted his hands to cup your face, resting his forehead against yours. “Now then – I believe I’m owed some payback for the torture you just put me through…”

“Oh, really?” Loki raised his eyebrows at you, grinning playfully. “And how do you intend to execute such revenge?”

“Hmm… Maybe I’ll just take a page out of your book.” The mischief in your eye reminded him uncannily of himself. He suddenly felt your delicate fingers squeezing into his side, making him jolt. Your face lit up with pure joy as you witnessed his reaction.

Oh, he couldn’t be having that.

His arms were wrapped around you in a flash, dragging you into his chest and leaning backward until you were lying on top of his chest in his arms, eliciting a squeal. He leaned in close, his lips right beside your ear.

“Darling, you don’t want to be doing that.”

The room was soon filled with your frantic giggles once again. But this time, you really didn’t try to get away. Because in all honesty, he was right before – you loved every minute of it.

#loki tickle #ticklish!reader #tickle fluff #tickle fic #marvel tickle #ler!loki #ler!bucky #lee!reader

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hoedorokishoto · 3 years ago

Text

awkward encounters

Tenya Iida x Reader

all characters are 18+, Minors DNI.

+ warnings - explicit sex

I would like to dedicate this piece to @uaresidentmommy who had this idea originally and I just wrote my piece around it. So without them none of this would be possible so thank you so much! <33

You couldn’t recall how many times you had both cum, both of you sensitive and sore. Neither of you caring as Tenya continued to thrust into you, his head pressed against your neck, littering it with sloppy kisses. Your fingers scratching down his back and across the shaved section of his hair. Both of you not wanting this to end.

Your combined moans and grunts filling the room. The only other noise being the slapping of skin.

“You are so perfect darling. I missed you so much.” He moaned into your ear, his deep moan making you clench around him. You thighs tightening and pulling him closer. His strong thrusts now deeper than before, Tenya filling you up perfectly.

A week wasn’t a long time. But it felt like forever to two horny 18-year old’s who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Tenya being gone for his work study and you stuck in your dorm, not so patiently waiting for him to return. So, what better way to make up for lost time than having slow passionate sex with each other for the past hour and a half. The stamina of a future Pro Hero being nothing to scoff at.

“How do you feel so good. Like you were made for me.” He stated, slowing down the pace of his movements but not the intensity.

“Yes, only you Tenya.” You whined, throwing your head back. Unsure how your body could feel this much pleasure. Tenya so close to making both of you cum again.

“Do you want me to fill you up again? Have my cum run out of you for the rest of the night?” He asked, his voice still deep and sultry. You loved Tenya always, no matter what but like this he was different. In the privacy of his dorm he let himself go and showed you a side of himself that was less polished, more desperate and vulnerable. Clinging to you like you were the only person in the world.

You felt your stomach tighten again, your orgasm approaching, your whole body shaking with overstimulation.

“I love you, I love you so much.” You cried out, pulling Tenya in and kissing him fiercely. Your tongues meshing together and moving in sync, both of you swallowing each other’s moans. Your mind foggy, your brain so consumed by pleasure as you came with a shriek, shutting your eyes tightly, tears spilling out as your boyfriend continued to thrust hard and fast into you. The overstimulation almost too much.

Without thinking you activated your quirk, phasing through the bed, Aoyama’s room and landing on one of the common room couches with a thud. Your sticky body clinging to the material of the couch as you awkwardly flailed around, grabbing whatever was within grabbing distance attempting to cover yourself. All you could grab was a stray cushion and someone’s school jacket.

“Um Y/N…” You heard, turning around and facing Jirou, her cheeks bright red as she took in whatever situation had literally fallen from the sky. She wasn’t your only concern though. The dining room was full, all of 3A seated for dinner, all of them looking at you. The only empty chair being the one which would have been for Tenya if he wasn’t otherwise occupied. Forks and spoons stopped mid air as they all took you in, mouths agape.

You didn’t move, didn’t talk, you weren’t even sure if you were breathing. You were in complete shock. The only sound being that of Tenya’s engine, running into the common room and halting in front of you. His lower half covered with a sheet and he turned his back to his classmates and pulled you against him. Covering both of you back up in the process. His body warm, sticky with sweat and cum as you pressed harder against him. Too embarrassed to look behind him again. He was also still hard, how he managed it you had no idea. Especially in a situation like this.

“Is this the best day of my life?” You heard Kaminari ask, his voice higher than usual.

“There is nothing to see here, we don’t have to make a big deal out of this.” Tenya said to his classmates, turning around while still holding you against his back firm with one of his large hands. His other hand chopping wildly to drive his point home.

“Oh, there is plenty to see.” Mineta said, waggling his eyebrows at the both of you. Sero quick to use his quirk to apprehend the purple perv and shut him up.

“This is perfectly normal, Y/N and I haven’t seen each other for a week so we really missed each other and-.” He started babbling out before your hand reached out and silence him.

“I think maybe we should just go. I think they have a fairly good idea about what was happening.” You whisper yelled into his ear, wanting to remove yourself from this situation and maybe the whole planet as quickly as possible.

Without another word Tenya tightened the sheet around the both of you and shuffled out of the room. Thankful that your boyfriend was so tall and broad he hid you from view. There was still no noise, the sound of breathing be all you could hear as the elevator doors opened and you rushed inside. Happy that 3A homeroom teacher had other business to attend to.

“You dirty dog!” Kaminari shouted, slapping Tenya on the back as he walked into the room. Wincing at the attention. He hoped that everyone would just forget about it. Or at least not mention it. Oh how silly he was, forgetting who he had spent the last 3 years with.

“I’m not a dog! Nor am I dirty!” He said to the blonde, walking past him and heading towards his seat.

“I expected it to happen eventually but definitely not to you Pres.”

“It’s just a big-.” He started.

“That’s what Y/N said!” Mineta yelled, cutting him off. Wanting to make as many jokes as possible.

Tenya smirked, straightened himself up and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Yeah, she actually does.”

Taglist - @chm1508 @nightstar165 @alovese @coffeechangbeanie @bethchurch @wind-17 @raccon-eyes @thoughtfulgooppeanutparty @mjtagoylo

#mha smut #mha x reader #tenya iida #tenya iida smut #tenya iida imagine #bnha

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moon-lixie · 4 years ago

Text

word count: 2.242k

song: Too Fast - Sonder

cw: Explicit sexual content, dom Chan, edging, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, protected sex, and creampie. There's also a bit of angst in there.

Useless, numb, and mediocre. You were now the things that you had feared the most, nothing but a piling clump of failures. It was hopeless to try to convince you otherwise, because that's all that you saw reflected in the mirror.

You felt nothing but sheer hatred towards the product of a lifetime. You had lived so long and yet this was the best you could do, perform poorly at everything that you meant to be good at.

You hated pitying yourself and being pitied but it almost looked like that was the only thing that you wished for now. Hands giving up even on begging for the slightest crumb of attention.

But you still tried, because if you were to beg then he would surely comply. His will would melt under your pathetic pleads, restrain dissipating into thin air, reluctancy being washed away by the thought of helping someone else.

He was the purest man alive, only when it came to his intentions. Always willing to try and fix the broken and stay by the side of pitiful souls.

But he was completely foolish sometimes, because some people had no repair and he never understood that.

"Are you sure?" He was reluctant but he would never explicitly say so out loud, that could possibly hurt you and he would never risk making you feel bad.

You nodded slightly annoyed that he kept asking over and over again if you were sure of this. His question was valid, you were intoxicated on failure and despair, so perhaps it wasn't the best option to take impulsive decisions. But you were laying already on his bed so you had no desire to back away now.

A soft sigh managed to reach your ears as a mere miracle, that's how meek it had been while coming out of his mouth. Following the puff that meant to release tension, he smiled at you. It was the sweetest smile you had seen in your whole life, it most surely belonged to an angel.

His hands wavered just like the wind; that's what you liked the most about him, he had the nerve of being shy after all. But then his hesitation would evaporate a second later, like the fake confidence that you allowed yourself to have often.

First he just caressed the side of your torso, slowly and taunting, knowing fully well that he drove you to the edge with the slightest graze of the tip of his fingers.

Lips were fast to follow his eager hands, crashing against yours hungrily. Whatever doubts he had a couple of minutes ago were now long gone. It was obvious on the way he moved his lips hastily against yours.

This is what you needed, so much attention that you couldn't even think about anything else.

He nibbled on your lower lip, softly at first but it became harsher as seconds passed by. A hiss escaped your lips when he bit down especially hard, he chuckled lightly at such a sound making its way up your throat before allowing his tongue to glide over your lower lip to soothe the stinging sensation.

With him you didn't have to feel so scared, he would take care of you no matter what. So you finally tangled your fingers on his soft locks, because he made you feel like it was okay to melt into his touch. If you did then he would still stay by your side and that was enough for now.

Despite having made several breaks in the connection of your mouths, to try and get some air, he still didn't leave the softness of your lips. The only difference was that now he eagerly let his tongue explore inside the cavern of your mouth.

Veiny hands pressed down on your torso as if it was possible to sink the mattress more under your weights. Then his fingers finally grabbed your waist firmly to stop you from moving, but it's not like you were planning to do such a thing.

You like the pressure of his grip, it reminds you that you're in fact there, alive and breathing the same air as him. You like even more the way in which he finds the way to rest his knee against the mattress in the small gap that your slightly parted legs allow him to.

When his mouth finally leaves yours for good you whimper shamelessly, wishing for him to be well aware of the displeasure his actions provoked in you. He chuckled once again, amused by how needy you could become. "Don't worry, baby. We're obviously not finished yet."

Cushions of flesh made their way along your jaw and the skin of your neck with kisses that feel so present yet quick and faint. Your hands fall limp on both of your sides as you try to relish in his warmth. He was your last anchor to life and right now the only one that you needed.

"You're boring me." You had the nerve to say when your agitated breath completely said otherwise. He knew better than to take your words literally so he slipped both of his hands under your shirt and explored the texture of your familiar skin eagerly.

He made you sit on the bed before tugging at the hem of your shirt. You complied and raised your arms so that he could get rid of the thin layer of fabric that hid you from his sight.

He unclasped your bra before tossing it aside and pushing you back towards the mattress. His mouth soon rested atop of your breast, sucking and biting hard enough for you to squirm under his touch but gentle enough not to hurt you.

After a couple of seconds he looked up at your closed eyes and smugly smiled. "I guess I'm not boring you anymore. Or are you still not entertained enough?"

"More." You lightly whispered under your breath. Immediately he dived back in to resume his previous activities while caressing your torso with his hands.

The pads of his fingers were soft and warm, just like the chocolate tone of his eyes. But his intentions were as burning as fire itself.

You would rarely allow him to help you, always closing yourself to the possibility of voicing your worries out loud. And that pained him; it completely broke him to watch you struggle on your own while he sat by your side. The only moment in which you were fully vulnerable were moments like these, in which you were literally bare under his eyes. So he always made the most of them, always gave his complete self into pleasing you.

Every time that he had the chance to have you this close he would claim you as his. Leaving purple and red proofs that he had been there, close to your heart even if just for a second.

He bit down harshly on your collarbone causing your nails to dig on his pristine white back. It hurt but it was better than feeling nothing at all, better than being on an amazingly boring loop of absolutely nothing.

His back hurt too, but he loved the kind of pain that edged him more into pleasure. The pain that you brought him was always the best he had ever experienced.

His teeth sunk into your skin various times more before he felt satisfied with his piece of art. He moved away from you to catch his breath and admire the purple and red combination of his neediness on your skin. It was perfect, just like you were in his eyes, but he knew that convincing you of that was perhaps impossible. That still didn't persuade him from trying to make you believe it.

"You're perfect." His thumb caressed your cheek with the same amount of affection that his eyes held while looking at you. And it felt too burdening, because you could never deserve him and all the love he had to offer.

"Ruin me, please." Ruin me until I have no tears left to cry, until my worries dissolve in between your thrusts, until I forget all of my problems. That's what you really meant to say, but luckily for you, the three words you mustered to pronounce were enough for him to understand exactly what you wished for.

"Your wish is my command, princess." It had been enough playing around already, his fingers finally found themselves at the height of your waistband. The button of your jeans presented no resistance against his complying fingers and soon you were completely raw in front of him.

Black fabric abandoned his torso before he lowered himself on the bed. His face ended up facing your inner thigh, the perfect excuse to kiss away at the skin of that area.

His lips were swollen and warm like flames, causing his kisses to be the responsible for the soft tremble of your knees.

With a swift movement he made room for him to lower himself onto your heat. It took a single puff of air for you to relax fully against the fluffiness of his bed.

You spared one last glance at him before closing your eyes and what you saw was a satisfied smile on his lips. It was nothing like the heartwarming smile that he had given you before, this one made you shudder in anticipation.

One kiss at the sensitive bud of nerves and you were sighing in satisfaction. That’s all he needed to continue joyfully sucking at the sensitive bud and slipping one digit at your drenched core.

He fingered you at a steady pace before he retreated his face away from your core. He slipped another digit and his fingers kept going steadily while his lips found its way to rest against your cheek.

You were biting down on your lip to stop yourself from making any noises. He started kissing your cheek adorably, making an obvious contrast between his lips and the sinful thrusting of his fingers.

“Please, make a sound for me.” The words floated on the room in between soft and tender kisses. And instead of complying to his plea you bit down on your lip with more force. “Please princess, do it for me.”

It seemed like he wasn’t the only one whose will dissolved in between pleads because you were soon reaching your high loudly, and his chest filled with pride at your sinful moans.

Eyes closed and head resting comfortably against his pillow, you attempted to catch your breath. Meanwhile he unbuckled his pants and discarded his undergarments; you knew too well that you were barely getting started. With him it always proved to be all or nothing, he wouldn’t stop until he was sure he had fully ruined you.

He tapped twice against your waist with his index finger and you quickly moved to rest against your knees and hands. You knew him, exactly what he liked and what he would never be willing to try just like he was well aware of how to make you scream. It was laughable to a certain degree; he knew of your deepest and most obscure desires and yet you wouldn’t allow him to take a glimpse inside your head, too afraid that he would end up seeing you in the same way you did.

Kisses were littered on your back as he opened a silver package and slipped a condom over his length before slowly pushing himself inside you. Once you had adjusted to his size he started pushing himself in and out at a pace that you could only call pleasing. Soon picking up his pace and not allowing your still sensitive core much room to last for long; you felt your high approaching and you whimpered loudly at the feeling of a knot tightening on your lower abdomen.

The loud and high pitched sound that slipped from your lips were the sign he needed to stop his hips abruptly and deprive you from the blissful feeling that was going to wash over you in a matter of seconds.

Before you had the time to comply he started moving again, slowly, one thrust at a time. Breathy moans were stolen from your mouth by the angle of his movements that allowed him to hit the perfect spot that made stars litter beautifully behind your lids.

He kept the slow pace for a while before moving rapidly without a warning; whimpers got stuck in your throat. Once again he suddenly stopped but this time you weren’t having it anymore. You tried to move to face him as you complained but his hands firmly held you in place.

“Don’t be so impatient.” He said almost mockingly before thrusting inside of you with force, just once. “If you wait then I’ll give you what you want.”

He was surely enjoying himself and you couldn’t deny feeling exactly the same. It would be futile and useless to deny the fact that just a simple glimpse at his torso could suffice to turn you on; when he touched you, you managed to make your way up to the clouds.

When he got impatient of waiting and teasing, he started thrusting in and out of you, going back to the perfect and somewhat relaxed pace from the start. The speed of his movements increased little by little, the knot in your lower abdomen making its presence noticeable more and more as he kept going.

Once he reached a pace that caused the mattress to rock along with your bodies, you knew you were done for. It wasn’t long before another wave of overwhelming pleasure washed over you, but this one made your legs and arms tremble as the pleasures came back every time you tried to close your eyes.

His thrusting became sloppier when you tightened around him and his pleasure was let loose not long after you had finished.

As you laid in bed trying to come back to your senses a couple of tears started rolling down your temples. After a couple of seconds it wasn’t a couple of droplets but a whole storm of emotions that didn’t allow you to live in peace.

You hadn’t forgotten your problems but at least you could finally cry with freedom. You could finally feel everything escape your eyes and tears while he held you close.

A soft kiss on top of your head and arms securely holding you close to a warmth you were too familiar with. That’s how you ended up.

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angellbarnes · 4 years ago

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Forgotten Love - part six: no longer one of them

chapter summary: the truth will set you free, if it doesn't kill you first. The team interrogates you and your past.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

words: 2.3k

warnings: language, mentions of torture, needles

A/N: sorry it's been a while but finally got around to finishing this chapter. Pls like, comment and reblog as always! :)🤍

series masterlist

You look around the blank, boxy room. Then down at your hands, where your wrists are chained to a table. Then down at your ankles, where they are chained to the chair you’re sitting on. It’s been at least thirty minutes since you were left in here by yourself, struggling in your restraints. Your breathing becomes rugged and you can’t hold down the panic rising within, no matter how hard you try. Even closing your eyes, all you see are them. In a sudden rush of emotion you manage to yank yourself free from each chain and stand, pushing the chair from behind you and sending flying back, hitting the wall and crashing to the floor. You look up to the wall opposite, noticing your disheveled reflection in the mirror, fists balled up tight. A one-way mirror, no doubt.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeat to yourself. Your hands fly to your hair, raking through it and grabbing while your chest heaves and your head spins. Steadying yourself with the table for a moment to calm yourself as best you can. You tread carefully towards the door but stop in your tracks, physically frozen in place as you try and place how many footsteps are heading towards you now.

There are seven of them. Three, you notice, stay at the door whilst the others carry on, presumably to whatever room is behind that mirror.

The door opens.

“What in the-” Fury begins, seeing you standing before him and noticing the mess you’d left. “Let me see your hands.” He brings up a gun that seems to glare straight at you, as if to say there’s no getting out of this. So, you show your hands.

Tony and Nat are behind him and Natasha walks to the chair that is on its side, picks it up and sets it back down at the table, then motions stoically for you to sit back down.

“Take a seat. We’re gonna be here for a while. And before you try anything stupid, don’t.” Fury states. You sit back down and suddenly notice the dryness of your mouth and throat.

The three of them now stand before you, looming over like the shadows of your past.

“There’s a lot to unpack here, so I suggest we start with whatever the hell just happened upstairs.” Tony begins. His face is forbidding, as are the others, and his arms are crossed.

You remain silent.

“This is the part where you start talking.” Your gaze shifts to meet a single, harsh eye. God knows he only needs one to get the job done.

“I-”

“What Barnes said. Was it true? Did you help torture him as the Winter Soldier?” Natasha’s voice is demanding, needing.

“No.” You say, finally mustering up a word. “Well, yes. No and yes.”

“What do you mean no and yes?” Fury leans forward on the table.

“Not exactly.”

“Cut the crap. Did you, at any point, help HYDRA in torturing Bucky?”

Silence. Then,

“Yes.” It came out as a broken whisper.

Behind the glass, Bucky takes in a sharp breath. Deep down he knew it was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it not to be.

Someone begins walking towards the door from the opposite room. Steve enters and switches out with Tony. Steve looks more disappointed than anything, which makes your heart ache more.

“Why? Why were you with them?”

“Steve-”

“Just answer the question.” Steve closes his eyes in exasperation, letting his head fall forward. He can barely look at you.

“I was alone, back when I joined.” You begin. “At the time I was sheltering in an abandoned warehouse that was half blown to pieces. They found me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. So they took me in, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, a proper one. I thought they were good people, at first.” You’re looking down at your lap as you speak, not wanting to risk looking anyone in the eye.

“And how do we know this isn’t some bullshit story you’ve made up to get us to sympathise with you?” Nat chimes in, brows knit together by the thread of betrayal.

“For all we know you could still be one of them. Feeding everything back to them since you got here. Is that what you’ve been doing? Gaining our trust in order to have inside information? This whole goddamn time.” Steve is angry. More than you’ve seen him before. But it’s not the kind of anger that him and Tony might share when the other gets on their nerves, no. This anger is the one that comes from deep within you, that only shows when you’ve been stabbed deep enough in the back for it to come seeping out all crimson red.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m done with HYDRA, I promise.”

“Well that promise doesn’t mean much to us.” Fury comments.

“I know. But it’s all I have.”

Fury holds his fingers up to his ear. “Hill, bring it in.” A moment after Fury’s request she is heading round and into the room. She passes him a folded piece of paper.

“This,” he begins to unfold it. “was surprisingly easy to find. Inside a book? Really?” He leans onto the table and slides the paper forwards. You are now face to face with yourself; the file page you'd retrieved from the first mission. You rub your hands together, as if hoping for a genie to appear so you could wish for this to have never happened.

“That’s not me. Well, it is me. But it’s not who I am. The person you’ve come to know since I joined this team is the real me. I’m not that person.” You look back down at the photograph of your deadened self. “Anymore.”

“Care to explain?” Nat asks.

“After a while with HYDRA, I realised that some others from the rooms near me were being taken somewhere else. I didn’t know where, though; they wouldn’t tell us. Eventually I was the only one left, and none of the others had come back yet.” Your throat is dryer than ever. “They took me to a room. A dark one. And they sat me in a chair. Strapped me down. I could hear some screams from neighbouring rooms but they dismissed it, said people were hurt and they were treating them. They were lying, of course, but at the time I was naive enough to believe them. They stuck a needle in my arm and released an acidically blue liquid into my bloodstream. At first it was excruciating. It felt as though someone was searing my veins as it moved from my arm and into my chest, then up my neck and down my torso. Then it was everywhere. My mind was so clouded with pain, until it just… stopped. I felt numb. And after that, HYDRA turned me into their own personal weapon. Because I was their success. I was the one who survived. They had used a different serum on all twelve of us, trying to find one that worked. And it finally did. At first I felt special to have been the one that survived. Proud, even. But soon it turned into something more sinister, and I realised how lucky the others were…”

The silence in the room is deafening. To a point where you have to start shuffling in your seat just to rid it. It’s hard to gage anyone’s emotions at this point. Natasha leaves, silently, without glancing back. Though she doesn’t head towards the others behind the mirror, she walks away in the opposite direction. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest with the thought of having hurt her this much.

“So, you’re telling me, the serum we found on that mission last week hasn’t just been created? They’d already figured it out and used it on you?” Steve’s question is spoken as more of a statement, everyone already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” You whisper.

“And that’s where these powers came from? The serum?”

“Yes.”

“Another supersoldier. ‘Cause we don’t have enough of those.” Fury scoffs. “And why do they always have to come from HYDRA?”

“The serum made you stronger and faster. But it doesn’t explain your extra power. Where did that come from?” Steve interrogates.

“The serum as well.” Your voice is weak and strained by guilt as you speak. “When they were recreating it they also… experimented with it. Once they knew they perfected the original serum they started tampering with additional elements and quantities. It wasn’t until me when one of them worked. The serum they’d created managed to grip on to certain sensory nerves and cells and increased the sensitivity, or… something about exteroreceptors, maybe? I can’t exactly remember the science of it all-”

“So, just like that, we’re supposed to trust you?” Steve cuts you off, his vigilant tone as unnerving as his stare.

“Send Barnes in.” Fury motions to agent Hill, who exits the room, only to return with him: the one person you thought could get you out of this situation.

Bucky keeps his head down, making sure to avoid any eye contact. You desperately want to yell the truth at everyone - the whole truth - but you know that wouldn’t be wise. Especially since they’re already sceptical of everything that’s coming from your deceiving lips. They would never believe that. He would never believe it.

Not until he remembers it all.

“Bucky, do you know if this is the truth?” Hill cautiously asks him.

“No.”

“No, you don’t know, or no, it isn’t the truth?” Fury inquires.

“No, I don’t know.” He states, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. You can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s evident that these newly found memories haven’t treated him well. Especially since he’d started to take a liking to you, which he never let be known. He didn’t know what to make of it when he began to feel a strange, but strong, pull towards you. As if there was some invisible string that was pulling, connecting, the two of you together.

It frayed and snapped as soon as he remembered.

But knowing that he’d felt it in the first place makes his head hurt all the more.

“So, number 12, what is your real name?” Fury looks straight into your eyes, almost burning through your skull with his intensity.

“And don’t even think about lying to us again.” Steve snarls. You hesitate for a moment, drawing heavy breaths.

“My real name- my real name is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Let’s put it to the test, shall we?” Fury proposes.

A few moments later, you’re being hooked up to a lie detector by Bruce. He then sits diagonal to you with the polygraph machine in front of him.

“We’re set.” He states.

“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?” Tony is now back in the room. A full house.

They don’t hesitate with the questions, getting straight into it, yes or no.

“Before you joined this team, were you a HYDRA agent?” Hill begins with. There is no way for you to escape this, no stopping the rollercoaster from plunging down as you reach the top.

“Yes.”

“An assassin?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still work for them?” Steve’s turn.

“No.”

“Do you still associate yourself with them in any way?”

“No.”

“Are you in contact with them?” Tony asks.

“No.”

“Do you plan on going back to them? Becoming one of them again?” Steve begins again.

“No.” You answer through gritted teeth now.

“Bruce?” Fury chimes in, and all heads turn to him, as he reads the coloured lines on the paper.

“She’s telling the truth so far.” He confirms.

The questions, the interrogating, it continues for several more minutes. Questions like: Are you loyal to this team? Are you really here to make good of your past? Is that life with HYDRA over for good?

Yes, yes, and yes.

“Did you assist in the torture of a Seargent James Barnes whilst you were a part of HYDRA?” Fury reads from a sheet, making sure to leave no stone unturned. A stone that it feels as if he just threw at your stomach. You force your eyes upwards and to Bucky’s, brimming with sadness.

“Yes.” Your answer feels so sour against your tongue. You pry your eyes away and they fall to the floor once more.

“All true.” Bruce confirms once more.

“But-”

“Last question.” Fury walks forward. “How did you manage to get through our system, without us finding any trace of who you really are?” He speaks slowly, deeply, sounding like he has gravel in his throat.

“The old me was classed as dead. I had nothing to my name, not even a life. And HYDRA didn’t make it their first priority to give me one. So, technically I was no one. It wasn’t that hard to create a completely new person. A clean slate, if you will.”

Everyone’s faces are stern, yet utterly mindfucked. No one knows what to think. Fury stands tall and motions his head to the door whilst looking at the others. Everyone exits the room in a disappointed silence.

Bucky is the last to leave. He stands, with his arms crossed and brows furrowed, directly in front of where you sit. The prolonged eye-contact is laced with an unknown, but oddly familiar, tension.

“Bucky, I-” As soon as you begin to speak he follows after the others and shuts and locks the door behind him.

Once again, you’re left with just yourself in the vacant room, besides the company of the chair, table and your infinite, anxiety-ridden thoughts of what the hell is going to happen to you now.

•••

Taglist:

@buckysjuicyplums @901seconds @walkwithfluffyangels @infernal-fire @ohashley101 @mrs-fanfiction-2001 @buckys2thicc @freigeistundanderes

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navyhyuck · 4 years ago

Text

want you to kiss me ‘till i’m out of air — 1.8k words, lee donghyuck

warnings: suggestive, a very heated makeout, some risky phrases, okay maybe i wrote over 1k about kissing hyuck and what about it???

“You sure you don’t wanna? You’re really testing me now, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Your fists ball up in frustration at Donghyuck’s cocky words, your lips pressing tightly together as you try not to let him get to you. He’s always like this, twirling you between his fingers like a play toy to mess with until you’re riled up enough; but you don’t want to give him the pleasure, knowing your anger was what boosted his ego the most. Instead, you turn towards the boy, who has his eyebrows raised in the most infuriating fashion.

“Fuck off, Lee,” you breathe out sharply, unclenching your fingers with a turn of your head, refusing to show him your frustration. He doesn’t budge, only leaning forward in his seat to rest an elbow on his knee, letting his chin fall into the palm of his hand; you can feel him smirking at you, his eyes wandering your shaking confidence. “I said fuck off.”

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t get mad at me,” he mocks softly, his voice a complete contrast from the way he’s treating you. “You’re much prettier without that scowl on your face.”

“You’re cuter with your mouth shut,” you snap back quickly, not realizing the extent of your words before he’s chuckling again.

“Oh, really?”

You turn back to him, seeing him staring back at you with a mildly amused face. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me.”

You raise an eyebrow at his advance, watching as a slow smirk spreads over his face and you can’t help but let your eyes fall to his lips. They’re plump and fully inviting, with you unconsciously licking your own lips in an anticipation you didn’t have earlier. You catch yourself when Donghyuck snaps his fingers, watching you with hooded eyes as you trail your gaze away from him.

“See something you like?” he asks, his voice dipping into more of a whisper now. You want to roll your eyes like you usually do, swatting him away without a second thought. You want to scoff like you usually do, not taking a single word to heart like he wants you to. You don’t want to give in; that’s exactly what you want. And why would you want to give the worked up boy exactly what he wants? It's like giving candy to a spoiled child. He already has everything he needs. “Oh princess, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed.”

“I’m not,” you say, your voice shaking as you inch back slowly in your seat, pushing your back into the cushion of the couch. He doesn’t respond, only taking the chance to somehow move even closer. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” His voice is barely audible now, only low in your ear. A shiver runs down your body, engulfing your emotions completely with a sudden surge of vulnerability. You scoot back further. “What’s wrong, princess?”

You want to stop heating up at the sound of the pet name slipping from his mouth so casually, but the blush rises anyway, only increasing your embarrassment. Donghyuck doesn’t seem to care—or notice, as a matter of fact—now standing up and plopping down beside you on the couch.

“Go away,” you say weakly, glancing over to catch a glimpse of him before realizing that was a mistake, because you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the intoxicating gaze he’s giving you. The playful nature on his face is gone now, only an unfamiliar look taking over as his eyes flit from your lips to your eyes. “Wh-what’s that look for?”

“You’re pretty,” he cuts you off halfway through your question, the usual teasing tone nowhere to be found. “Wanna make out?”

You let out a strangled noise at his blunt question—one that is indistinguishable to truth—choking on air before you blink, hard, and look at him again. Donghyuck’s eyes are still on yours, not a single trace of humor on his face anymore. His fingers tap into his thigh repeatedly, as if growing impatient.

“Are you serious?”

He inhales. “Yeah. I’m serious. I want to kiss you until you’re out of air. Kiss you until you’re squirming underneath me from how much you’ve wanted me. Kiss you until you’re clutching onto me like a lifeline and saying my name in that little breathy voice of yours to drive me insane. I wanna kiss you until you go crazy. I promise, I'm the only one who can make that happen.”

You wish you could tell him that you’re already going crazy, at least from the words that are spilling out of his mouth at record speed. You aren’t sure if it’s normal for someone to suddenly change their demeanor in less than five minutes, but the record breaking annoying boy is currently asking you if you want to kiss him and you’re seriously considering giving in. But you can’t, that’s exactly what he wants.

“Don’t say no,” he chuckles darkly, his body shifting towards yours. “You think I don’t know the way you look at me in school? You think I don’t notice the way you can’t take your eyes off of me in the hallways? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“I don’t look at you like—” you catch yourself momentarily, noting that Donghyuck’s tongue is now poking his cheek out in the most infuriatingly attractive way. Instead, you blush further, averting your eyes. “—that. I look at everyone like that. It’s just how I look at people.”

You’re blabbing and he knows. He chuckles again. “Oh really? Then would you be falling to your knees to Na Jaemin right now?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” he comes in impossibly closer, his face now only a few inches away from yours. “That you wouldn’t be trembling under his gaze the way you are to me right now. What are you trying to prove, Y/N? You don’t want to give in? But it’s all here for you to take.”

Donghyuck smiles widely, his eyes piercing yours so deeply that you swear a jolt of energy pulsates throughout your body when he pulls back and leans against the couch. His legs spread on their own accord, along with his arms slowly resting behind his head as he opens his eyes. He tilts his head, offering you an almost sadistic smirk. “Why don’t you come here, princess? It’s much more fun this way.”

Your hands fist into the fabric of your shirt as you bite your lip in retaliation, in some sort of way to keep you grounded to reality as Donghyuck speaks of pure temptation to you. You want to give in, let it go and give him what you know he wants so bad; but you can’t. you can’t give him the benefit of that pleasure. How could you? He’s your sworn enemy, right?

But you can’t help but think of the way he looks in that very moment, you’d be blatantly lying to everyone if you said you weren’t mildly attracted to him. He's Lee Donghyuck. He’s a troublemaker. A heartbreaker. A menace to society but an addition that everyone loves regardless. He's absolutely wrecked, but perfect in the most beautiful way. Who would ever pass at the chance to kiss the Lee Donghyuck? Not you.

Just as he sighs at your lack of acceptance, you find a spark of courage inside of you to finally push yourself up, pressing a firm hand to his chest and swinging your leg over his lap. You hover over him expectantly, studying his expression as it moves from shocked to extremely pleased. When you settle yourself down on his lap, he inhales sharply at the action, moving his hands hastily to grasp at your waist.

Without giving him a second to process, you lean forward, pressing your lips to his. It’s harsher than you think he expected it to be, because he pulls you away momentarily with a look that reads something along the lines of ‘are you for real?’ before his lips are molding with yours again. It’s messy—his arms grasping onto your torso in efforts to keep you close to him—your hands running through the hair you only could dream of touching before you’re clenching your fingers around the soft strands and tugging.

A strangled sound leaves him as his head lolls back on his shoulders, involuntarily pulled away from your lips as you smile to yourself at his sound of desperation. Soon later, you notice your mistake, backtracking slowly until he pulls you into his grasp again. He sucks on your bottom lip, the motion making you gasp in surprise and tug on his hair again; Donghyuck doesn’t seem to mind the second time, however, this time groaning loudly at your actions.

“So rough, pretty girl,” he mentions in between a particular kiss, almost urging you to tug at his hair again. “Fuck, you’re driving me insane.”

His hands rub at your sides, sending jolts down your body as his lips retreat from yours, making you chase them before he chuckles, placing a finger to your lips to keep you silent. But when his mouth pressed fluttering kisses down your jaw, you sigh loudly, loving the feeling of his lips now ghosting over the ever-so-sensitive skin of your neck. You’re about to prepare for something more but it’s too late, your mouth letting out yet another embarrassing sound when he latches onto a particular spot.

“Aw, princess, don’t get flustered. Look at you? You’re gorgeous.” Donghyuck manages to mumble before getting back to work on your neck; you’re basically falling apart in his arms as his lips pepper lower and lower, until his nose nuzzles into your collarbone. The cool breath to the area sends a hiss to your mouth at the searing feeling, your body reacting in the most pleasurable way as he presses yet another firm kiss.

“Hyuck?” you call for him quietly, watching as he warily pulls away from your skin. His thumbs press into your waist soothingly, possibly in effort to calm your erratic breathing. Then, he nods. “Kiss me?”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing right now, pretty girl?”

“I mean,” you let your hand rest on the side of his face, admiring the several moles that cover the surface of his skin. “I want you to kiss me until I’m out of air. Like you promised you would.”

Something in those words sets him off, his eyes burning deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. Suddenly, his hands are on your thighs, hoisting you into his grip as he stands up. You let out a little yelp, latching onto his shoulders.

“Don’t worry, princess. I never make promises I can't keep.”

kiss-and-tell masterlist

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deepseavibez · 3 years ago

Text

Blindspot || KTH

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-> Picture Source - Pinterest

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Blindspot [Taehyung x Reader]

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Genre - Best Friend; Fear of the Future; Nighttime Memories; Mixed Feelings;

Summary - She believed in more. In better. In bigger. That life was out there waiting to be grabbed with both hands. He's made it his sole purpose to remind her that simple moments were beautiful and meant to be enjoyed... and maybe, she would realize he was one of them.

Warning - (Slight) Angst; Anxiety; Unsure feelings; Fear of the Future; Fluff; Comfort;

Word Count - 4.7k

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🎶 - I'm Fine - BTS

TAE

‘Tae.’

‘Y/n?’ He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the time, ‘it’s 3am babe.’

‘... I'm sorry for waking you. Sorry. Go back to sleep, it's okay.’

‘Hey, no, no, I'm awake.’ Sitting up, he switched the phone to his other hand and rubbed at his eyes, ‘What's going on.’

‘It’s not important, I swear,’ he could hear her trying to mask her shakiness over the phone. ‘You can go back to sleep.’

He wouldn’t call her out on lying. He knew better than anyone when y/n was in a bad way. Once he asked her, specifically him, what was wrong, she would crumble and he wasn’t there to catch her right now. ‘Y/n. Come on, talk to me.’

‘I can't sleep.’

‘Yeah, no shit,’ he yawned back.

‘I'm so sorry for waking you.’ He could hear the trepidation in her voice.

‘You know better than to apologize for something like that, ‘ he chastised. ‘Babe, tell me about it. Was it a bad dream? Something keeping you up?’

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Y/N

You could hear shuffling over the phone as you searched for an answer. It was hard to put certain emotions into words. You only knew you needed to phone Tae, regretting it too late, when he actually answered. ‘I'm not sure,’ you started awkwardly, ‘I guess. I just don't know where I'm going.’

‘Do you plan on leaving me anytime soon?’ Already pulling your leg, he got you to roll your eyes.

‘No, of course not. I just mean, like, metaphorically.’

Things were a bit...confusing right now.

It had been a long time since you last had to deal with emotions this strong. The voices, getting harder to ignore. You had enough outside negativity to deal with, like family and some friends, all having this certain expectation from you.

It was new for you to rebel, to be who you wanted to be and feel how you wanted to feel without consequences. Choosing a life you solely strived toward, negating the tiny voice in your head saying you were wasting time and you were running out of time and you were not enough.

‘I don't know what I want to do, Tae!’ You burst out, the build up too long, the burden too heavy. ‘I don't have plans. I have a great job, I do. But I don't want to be a PA for the rest of my life and I don't know where to start, where to look, how to choose what I want to do.

I don’t have it figured out, it hasn’t fallen onto my lap, and when I look, I feel like I’m going to waste even more time looking.’

‘Y/n, you know you have a lot more figured out than you give yourself credit for.’ The huskiness of his sleep-leaden voice, comforted you. ‘You have money, a routine stable job, you've worked you way through university and graduated with honors.’ Taehyung did it without effort and he knew you would hear his gruff tone above all others, in a crowd, in a panic, as a voice of reason.

‘I know, and I keep trying to remind myself of that, but it’s just become unbearable. I am running out of time.’ Struggling to remain composed you spoke into the phone as if he was right here, ‘What if I'm still here in ten years, Tae? What if I don't ever figure out my purpose? What if I'm meant to just work and then die? I haven't lived! I haven’t seen the world. I’ve made everyone proud and now I’m the black sheep. I prefer it, It's just-,’

The sound of keys jangling cut you off.

‘Tae,’ you asked tentatively, confusion evident.

‘Hmm.’

‘What are you doing?’ You asked when he provided no further explanation.

‘Are you in pj's right now?’

‘Uh,’ you looked down at your white vest and underwear, just to make sure, ‘yeah, why?’

‘Miss y/n, I didn't know you slept in the nude.’

The protests left you immediately at his teasing, slithering heat under your skin at the very notion. ‘Tae! I am not sleeping in the nude, I have underwear on.’

‘Uh huh, what color are they?’ Your cheeks flamed in embarrassment. You could imagine his smirk, that dumb cocky, arrogant smirk.

He laughed, the sound gruff, infuriating you more, and causing you to giggle back. Because you were the butt of the joke, and you liked his laugh too much. Trying to be mad at him, even when play-fighting or harmless bantering, Taehyung, not a chance.

‘Listen,’ a seriousness settling between you, ‘get dressed, just sweatpants, and a shirt.’

‘Wait, what, why,’

‘Baby, listen for once. Just get dressed and give me five minutes.’

You looked at the blank screen, stunned. Your brain stuck at the word baby, and the effect it had. Your insides were mush, anxiety mollified, despite not knowing what he was about to do next.

‘Babe’, you knew, ‘babe’, you understood, that was normal, routine, best friend. But Baby?

You mulled over it as you discarded your vest, and threw on a loose Celine shirt. Pulling on your black sweats, a pair of socks and air force ones because who knows what this boy was up to, you stopped. You sniffed, once, twice, yep, that was Taehyung’s body wash, but what - oh, you tugged the loose collar toward your nose, yep, this was Tae’s shirt.

You composed yourself, almost deadpan at the small realization. When had he even stripped in your room and why weren’t you there.

Wrapping your messy hair into a bun, you restrained your mind from wandering further.

Your phone beeped from the bed and the screen lit up, a message popping up. ‘Look out your window.’

Peeping out you saw his black Jeep in your driveway. He popped his head out of the driver’s side window and did a two finger salute.

Shaking your head with a smile, you grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs through the house and out the front door.

‘What are you doing here,’ you asked as soon as he came into view. He looked good, white tee, black sweatpants, you matched, except for his leather jacket and red bandana.

He opened the passenger door on your side and leaned back, giving you a once over. His lips twitched as he rested his eyes on the shirt you wore. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he wanted you in his shirt. You raised your eyebrow playfully, refusing to give life to something like butterflies and heart-eyes when your best friend stood in front of you. Life was complicated enough.

‘You needed me to show up.’ He said it a matter-of-factly, but you knew he wanted to be there for you and you couldn’t, not feel grateful, and a little warm, that he would get into his car drive to you, all because you needed him to.

Not waiting for you to reply, he threw a jersey at you. ‘Its cold,’ his tone left no room for protest and he cocked his head toward the jeep, a sign to get in.

You wrapped it around you silently, not moving, not yet.

‘Well,’ his thumb curled around the top of the steering wheel as the rest of his fingers straightened out, his freehand rising to follow his question, ’Come on, get in.’

‘Where are we going?’ You would have gotten in, you would probably end up wherever he was going to take you anyway, but where was the fun in doing everything obediently. Even puppies had wild streaks.

He raised his eyebrow this time, a smirk teasing his cheek, 'You're brave every night, y/n. But not tonight, not while you're with me, come, trust me, wherever we go I'll keep you safe.'

You turned to close and lock the front door, breathing out slowly, as slow and low as you could, doing your best to work on the constriction around your heart; his words too wiry, too strong, too genuine to forget, too deep to ignore. It made you so... agreeable.

Getting into the Jeep, you felt different as you sat here now, in a seat you had been in too many times to count. It was probably the time and the circumstances. Yeah, some shifts were just because of the time, and the air and because it was silent and the dead of night.

You said nothing more, even though a few minutes earlier you spoke into the phone like you would explode if you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, you would be alone in your head, if you weren’t able to make him understand.

You jumped slightly, as you felt his hand close over yours, and pull it toward him to brush his lips along your knuckles. It was an absent action, maybe, because he stared straight ahead, didn’t spare a glance at you as you stared at the side of his head, making it look like he wasn’t even aware he was doing what he was doing.

Swallowing against the pounding of your heart, you chalked this up too. Night time was vulnerable, everyone was just a little more sensitive, you didn’t have to make it more than it needed to be.

Looking out the window you noted the lights and dark windows, empty parks and streets, doing your best to ignore the heat against your hand, the breath against your knuckles, lips not very far away, that were capable of a lot more.

With some effort, you faded out the intensity of his actions, and as your eyes adjusted you saw familiar figures, and buildings you had driven past numerous times. You knew where you were going.

He pulled up in the parking lot of his safe haven. In retrospect, your safe place should be entirely different, but you were safe with Tae, that said, his peace was where you found yours.

Jumping out of the Jeep, you noted how dark and looming the two story building looked. A huge sign reading 'Blindspot' the only posh part about this place, black metal roller doors, spray painted names across the walls, some of the neon colors standing luminescent against the moonless night.

One would think it was graffiti, but the community knew better, the ones that came and went, some that stopped and never left, knew having your name on the wall was a privilege.

He jumped out too, after grabbing something from the back. Carrying it toward you, you noted his knapsack, and a box of some sort.

Handing it over to you to hold, you took hold of them silently, as he pulled out the keys to open the locks and deadbolt.

You watched him, his actions purposeful but he was at home, knowing which way the locks turned, the catch on the bolt needing to be kicked out a certain way before opening fully; he'd done this a thousand times before.

Lifting up the shutters, the noise too loud for the silent night, he opened the door and guided you in, making you all too aware of his palm in the small of your back. Taking the stuff from your hand and throwing it onto the edge of the ring and he lifted up to close the shutters behind you.

You took notice of the extra shirt that falls out of the pile on the ring, one of your favorites of his actually, grey with black spots, sort of like a giant cookies and cream oreo mix.

The empty gym in front of you was a contrast to the busy days it had. There was a weight section, the bags lined up against the far wall hanging still, having no impact thrown at it to sway the dead weight, and the machines had their own floor upstairs, treadmills overlooking the balustrades to the floor below, by the ring where you stood.

The pool area, directly below you, in the basements where the changing rooms and showers could be found.

It looked small on the outside, but inside there were stories to be told, motivation, encouragement, brotherhood, friendships solidified in stone and a fair share of violent memories with broken bones, broken bonds and broken hearts.

Walls were packed with quotes, anatomy teachings and pictures, schedules, a dedicated to growing trophy case with medals and newspaper clippings, and pictures of staff, members, and the boss, with his best friend.

What Tae didn't continue, was the stereotype of the grunge masculine look that came with gyms. Outside may be black as night, but inside there was color everywhere - a world within.

The punching bags were each a different shade, green, red, yellow and blue. The ring bottom was black, neon orange ropes running along the sides in three consecutive lines, and your personal favorite, a giant pride flag hung on a hook outside his office door.

Toxic masculinity wasn't allowed in Taehyung's gym. You could be yourself, make your own lifestyle choices and still be a good fighter or just work-out. He took it upon himself to punch the teeth out of anyone that thought otherwise. This was what he'd always wanted to do and he made it more than just a place to get healthy.

There were four hours, two for the morning, two for the afternoon, catered only to women. Tae understood that men will be men, no matter how much you tried to change it. And comfort mattered.

Working out and exercising, as much as it seemed, like a chore, it could be enjoyable. It could be a social setting, helping people to open up, and cope, providing the best way for them to be themselves.

You helped him find a premises, helped him choose color schemes, and sat in on interviews. For legal purposes you were an advisor and owned a small share percentage. You didn't want it, but Tae insisted, you were especially grateful when the gym grew into more than you both had expected it to become.

'Y/n,' he waved his hand in front of your face, the action snapping you out of your thoughts.

'Huh, sorry, did you say something?'

He smiled comfortingly, 'Take the jacket off and your shoes.'

Scrunching your eyebrows, you finally asked, 'Tae, what are we doing here?'

'We are,' he started explaining as he ripped open a box in his hand, 'doing something I feel you need.'

Looking at you pointedly, he motioned his eyes to the jacket.

Shucking it off, you took off your shoes and redid your bun for good measure.

'It's strange isn't it,' you voiced out loud. He perked up at your food for thought, fingers fiddling with white tape. 'It's strange, that I know every corner of this place, but I haven't ever put a pair of gloves on.'

He raised his hand absently, a student raising his hand to give an answer, his gaze focused on yours as he did. 'That's because you've never had the need to, I'm here to protect you.'

Turning away, you caught yourself, before you let your heart show in your eyes. You've known Tae for so long, been his best friend for years, why now, why this feeling, this tightness in your chest.

You played it off, and walked over to him, socked feet padding against the wooden floor boards.

Taehyung clicking his tongue startled you out of your effort to feel normal; you found him staring at your socks.

'Y/n, I've told the guys this numerous times, you can't spar in the boxing section with socks. It's a slipping hazard.' No trace of the out of the blue romantic words, he bent down easily removing them from your feet one after the other.

It would be weird, if you weren't already so used to his skinship, his cuddling when he slept over, his hand straying over your shoulder on the couch, or brushing against your waist when he passed you. Yet, his thumb, on your ankle, his hand as he circled and held it, even for just the moment that he laid your foot down after taking off the sock, you felt… taken.

You wanted to snort, the wording completely off, I mean, he had a right over you, always had but-

He came into focus, looking up at you from where he sat, and asked lightly,' Do you wash these.'

Your mouth dropped open, as you watched him hold your purple socks in between two fingers, like it would bite him, or the smell would.

Your knee nudged at the side of his face playfully as you reached to pull him up. He took your socks, holding them properly now and put them in his bag, picking up the white tape he was fidgeting with earlier.

'So, will I be sparring with you today?' You were excited now. You had watched people vent and let themselves be free as they learned technique, let themselves be violent without consequences, the satisfaction on their faces after their sessions.

When he finally reaches you again he finds the catch and opens it out. White athletic tape, used to make arms and wrists stiffer, and to provide better grip, even with sweat and slick.

'No, not today. Let's focus on getting you worked up and tired. If you enjoy it, I'll gladly let you go toe to toe with me.' His eyes held a challenge, an underlying meaning evident.

Offering your hands up freely, he taped your wrists and fingers, you've seen him do it many times, just never on your wrists. Experimentally you shook out your fingers and bent and scrunched your wrist to allow for the right amount of tightness.

'Cocky, aren't you, Mr. Kim,' you side-eyed him.

He leaned into you, his breath teasing yours, 'I am the Coach here, y/n.' You blinked at the nervous fluttering in your chest, his intimidation, usually not directed so closely to you, doing something you couldn't explain, couldn't quite grasp.

Somehow, you should be scared, but it was, hot.

Leaning into him, breath for breath, you matched up, 'Then teach me.'

A slow smile broke out over his lips, playful Tae was back, it let you navigate things easier, you knew what to expect.

'So, I'm boxing the bag,' you deduced. 'I don't see why I need to tire myself out. I don't know how to do this.'

His palms closed over your cheeks, puffing your face up, emphasizing your pout. 'You are frustrated. You can't do anything about any of your emotions tomorrow, y/n. You have to be patient. You have to remind yourself it's a day at a time that gets you to your future. It will always be about patience.'

'Unfortunately, patience is overrated at something to 4am,’ you complained as he let go of your face and bent down to produce a new set of gloves from under the ring. Opening the zip of the bag, he pushed one toward you.

Shaking his head at your antics, not even phased, he strapped the gloves to both your hands and walked toward a bag. 'Come on, try it.'

'Color?'

'The yellow one.' He made to stand behind the bag you chose, and held either side of it, knees bent slightly in a defensive stance.

Feeling slightly out of place, and awkward, you huffed and punched the bag just to humor him.

You stared at it. The fucking thing didn't even move.

He burst out laughing at the comical look on your face.

'Okay, wait no,' he composed himself and came around you. His breath fanned your neck, giving you goosebumps, as he held your wrists and showed you how to punch. 'So straighten your elbow, like this, and pull it back in and see how the gloves are shaped, your forefingers curl above your thumb, so inside your glove your thumb shouldn't be in the fist.'

Nodding as you took in the new information, you did your best not to get distracted as he continued, all too comfortable in his element.

'When your wrist hits the bag don't curl it, let it face the impact head on. See, this is how you do it, so you don't break your wrist.' He made you punch the bag and showed you where your wrist was bending and how to keep it tight.

'Alright, baby,' that word, that goddamn word, 'you good to try again?'

Closing your eyes and swallowing hard, you nodded in answer and shook your head out of the Tae trance.

'Start with a simple combo this time, Jab, Jab, Uppercut, Hook.' You knew the names and their directions. Jab was straight forward, twice fast on the submissive hand as a set-up, the uppercut from downward into the abdomen or chin, depending, and the hook, from the dominant hand rounding off on the face.

'Think of it all y/n,' he encouraged, as he walked to his original position, 'the people, the words, the expectations, the beating up of yourself you do on a daily basis, and just go for it.'

Spreading your legs in a stance, aiming at the bag on his command, you clenched your fists and focused.

'Go'

----

'And breathe.'

Breathing heavily you fell flat to the floor, and stared up at the ceiling.

Sweat was in your eyes and your hair, but despite being in dire need of a shower, you felt oddly at ease. Tiny zings of exertion shot through your body as your lungs begged for air and you heard your blood rushing.

The roof was really pretty you thought, the wood positioned in long blocks to form and hold up the gable, grabbing your attention for the first time ever.

You blinked as Tae's face came into view, his hands resting on his knees.

He smirked cutely as he brushed your sweat slicked hair out of your eyes and off your face before reaching down to pick you up off the floor.

Handing you a water bottle, you let him manhandle you as he lifted your form to sit on the edge of the ring, launching himself up to sit next to, a second later.

'How do you feel?' He was proud of himself no doubt, after all, his plan did succeed.

You made a face at him, anyway.

'Hey,' he put both his hands up in mock surrender. 'It worked, didn't it.'

You cut him some slack, this time. 'Yeah, I feel icky, but definitely less worked up.'

---------

🎶 - Black Swan - BTS

TAE

Taking a swig of the water you had opened in your hand, he looks at the top of your head as he closes it and puts it away.

'Hey.'

She looks up at him, eyes hooded in exhaustion.

He smiles at her. Despite how much he loved her spitfire, she's adorable when she's not talking back.

He knew of the thoughts that crawled up her spine on a daily basis. He knew she had no plan, and it made her hyper that she didn't have one, but she couldn't make one because, what if she chose wrong.

He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to tell her that she could be whatever she wanted to be, and he would fly her across the ocean if she really wanted it; that she didn't need to worry about life so much because he would always take care of her.

'You're too sad.'

She scrunched her eyebrows at him.

'You have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders and you can't do anything about it.' He chose his next words carefully. 'I wish you could take a breather, and let a thought be a thought instead of picking it apart.'

He held up his hand to her when she made to protest.

'You know, things may not feel okay right now, with work, or at home, and in your head. But I've never seen someone adapt like you have. You bounce back, despite how much grit it takes.'

He took the gloves off her hand and carefully unwinded the tape on her fingers.

'I don't have answers y/n. But I do know you have me for a long time and I'm going to be here as you do your thing.'

Placing pressure on each finger he massaged the tightness out of it and flexed it for her.

'I don't know where you're supposed to go, if you were meant to leave and give me a round-the-world heartbreak, I'm not sure who you're supposed to be, I don't even know if you have a higher purpose, it wouldn't surprise me if you did, but you, y/n,' he heaved a sigh as he faced her, his gaze meeting hers, his next words the most important thing she'd need to remember,' you're a good you.'

As he met her eyes, her breath hitched. He heard it. He could see the flush in her face. He knew he was being honest. He knew he meant every word.

A half smile, a heavy acceptance, hands that were so easy to hold, eyes that were never anything but honest, a bond that all but forced a person to keep swimming. That was Taehyung to y/n. And that was y/n to Taehyung.

'You're a really, good you,' he reinforced. 'Right now, it works. I have a feeling it will work for a very long time.'

'I'm scared.' He could hear it in her voice. He heard it back when she was in her room too.

'Nothing is really set in stone, babe. And even though it does feel like you're running out of time, it's something you can't help. It's not what you want to hear but it's true.'

'How do I stop being sad?'

She was deflecting. But he had said it before, it wouldn't be gone tomorrow. Her anxiety and her fears, they will probably never go away.

She had the right way to go about it though. You get through it. Somehow. Some days it's a good cry, some days it's with a punching bag, and some days, it was with a best friend.

'See, now that's why you have me.' He answered confidently, as he put his chest out, his need to have her be okay, her smile, her laugh, his only intentions, his favorite thing these days.

'Oh really, you, why, because you're a clown.'

He feigned offense at the statement. 'Excuse me, I am not a clown, ask anyone that comes in for the 5am rush.'

She looked up at the clock in shock, it was really going half-four. She turned back to him sadly, 'I kept you up all night.'

'It was a fun night,' he replied, the teasing of many other ways to keep him up on the tip of this tongue, deciding against it, he looked away from her. 'You needed me, no amount of sleep is worth that.'

He didn't explain himself, he really didn't mind the lack of sleep. He could easily catch a nap in his office, or head home after half a day. But this, this moment with his best friend, that he wanted to be more, he knew he wouldn't choose to be anywhere else. He knew he'd do it over again too.

Pushing off the ring he grabbed the knapsack and handed her his shirt. 'Change out of that shirt, and use this one, you'll catch a cold, because of the sweat. And let's get you home, you need a hot shower, and sleep. I'll drop by for dinner after work too.'

Finally turning to her, he found she hadn't moved an inch, unshed tears in her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her toward him, sweat and all, and held her in his arms. 'You're first y/n, you'll always be first.'

A tender kiss on her head, his words rendering her speechless, and he knew uncharted waters were on the horizon.

This night, things that he'd said, the ways in which she responded, it was going to shift things for them.

But silence was comfortable for them. And she drank his share of coffee while he ate her share of pineapple, because he couldn't stand coffee and she hated pineapple. And he could hold her in his arms and she'd use his shirt while they slept.

It would start small, but he'd show her, the future was bright, she was deserving of more than she understood, she would be protected from her family and expectations and she would learn to remember, purpose or no purpose she wasn't alone, she never would be again.

#kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung fic #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts fics #bts aus #bts oneshot

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life-rewritten · 4 years ago

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TRUE BEAUTY; TRUE SCARS VS FALSE MASKS

I'm actually surprised I have a new Korean drama to fall for before the end of the year. After testing out what's available, True Beauty feels like the one for me. I was going to watch it regardless of if it made me analyse because it's directed by Extraordinary You PD. I love how he shows the plot of his shows, his romances are always soft yet angsty, and they make you feel so many emotions whilst laughing and smiling and perhaps swooning over certain second leads and protagonists. After Start-Up I swore of love triangles, and yet True Beauty comes with just that, yet I'm having so much fun watching this show for the past 3 weeks, and it's been a ride. It's precisely what the title says it's focused on True Beauty. The actual meaning of beauty and perspectives on what is truly beautiful and what's not, the psychological trauma of being someone perceived as not socially pleasing to the world, and being forced to hide to survive the harsh environment. It's an emotional look into another teenage drama, full of angst, romance, self-love, and self-acceptance. I'm enjoying it a lot, and my heart has been tugged at each episode, so I'm not saying True Beauty is my full focus, but I have spoken about it here, and from episode 5 and 6, I somehow have a lot to say. So let's get into it

True Scars vs False Masks

True Beauty episode 5 and 6 focus on the effect of PTSD and trauma symptoms which each of our main characters have to go through. Apart from Seojun, who has his own frustrations and pains connected to the overarching plot, but not as pronounced as these three.

Kyung, Suho and Soojin are triggered by certain parts of their memories, making them afraid, broken down, and self-hating. The first thing to mention when focusing on Kyung's ideology of true beauty. Kyung may think that being seen as beautiful is the only way to make her self survive her own past traumas, but the two perceived beautiful people who are praised and known for having everything by their peers, are just as scared, suffering and hurt by the world as she is. All by the cruelty and insensitiveness of different people in their lives.

Ju Kyung: The mask of Beauty

Kyung is forced to relieve yet again her trauma as a bully victim when she bumps into the girl. The very bully that caused her to finally break down and wear her mask for protection. One thing to notice in episode 5/6 as she takes care of Seojuns sister; she realised that wearing a mask isn't the right way to live comfortably and she questions why she can't have the same confidence and inspiration in her self to be brave. Which is what people would quickly want to say about her situation, just love your self, only trust your self, just be your self. Still, as we've seen from the past episodes, the reason is that when her mask is uncovered, and she's her true self, her past comes to find her and the people who cruelly lowered her down to nothing before their eyes, who proceeded to hurt and abuse her because of how she looks. The girl who likes to emotionally have control over Kyung's self-esteem like a leash she can't escape from, people like her that can't stand to see Kyung be happy with her skin, is why it's even more painful when Suho tells her that he's doing all he does for her as pity it's heart-breaking. It makes her feel even more inferior because she's being a burden to the guy, she's come to have feelings for, and it's still because of her looks in a way. Because he's the first person who knows her real face under her mask of makeup.

It’s not just the bullies that do this to her, that make her feel so ashamed and guilty for wanting to just be her self. People who she’s close to, her ex best friend betrayed her because of this issue, (to avoid being bullied) and her mother is harsh and cruel beyond words, always breaking her self esteem, ignoring her child’s plight when she could actually be of help to her, and mocking her every time just cause she isn’t smart. Her mother proceeds to not understand the real trauma in her daughter’s life, not even knowing or taking it seriously that there was a time where Kyung almost gave up everything and took her life, just because of how exhausted she was by what society was making her think about her true self.

When Suho said that I was so agitated and disappointed. When cruel and forced to wear his own mask of coldness, Suho can be harsh and ruthless. However, it still felt problematic to me because he knows how sensitive Kyung is about her looks, how much she suffered because of it, he's the one who saw her almost choose to take her own life because of it and he's also seen her try desperate attempts to avoid it. To cruelly say it's because of pity that he's been doing all he did by her side and she's being a bother; it's upsetting and just annoying. I'm annoyed that he still refuses to communicate with her properly about it, tell her it's not because of pity and she's not a problem.

To come to her house/ accept her mother's invitation and act like he's not told her she's a burden is just upsetting and it's exhausting because she doesn't want to keep on feeling like she owes him because he's hiding her secret about her looks. It's also sad because you realise that it must have broken her heart more because when she felt she had someone on her team who saw her without her mask and chose to be there for her, help her and understand her, this same person threw her away saying she was a weight to him. When she finally felt she was able to be herself and like her self without her mask, she deserved to be free without making up, especially his last words to her before he switched himself off, was that she was beautiful without makeup. That one quote, that one stance, and one act of support for her meant everything. Yet her one source of defence and her foundation to bounce back from her worries and fears rejected her and told her she wasn't important; her presence was upsetting him.

Again Kyung is forced to think that what she needs to do to survive is to be beautiful to wear her mask; it's the only way she will be accepted. That's what Suho harsh words did to her, and despite that, she still ran to him to be his defence and protection. They both do the same thing for each other; if you notice Suho protects her always when she's at her worst broken down and without her mask of beauty. Suho is protected by her finding him and literally shielding him with her warmth and comfort letting him know he's not alone and he's understood.

Suho: The mask of Coldness

Before I focus on their dynamic though back to masks and scars. The reason why Kyung runs to Suho is where the plot for his PTSD symptoms comes in. Suho without the act is also broken, guilty and tired of people refusing to listen to him. His issue is that whilst people see his richness and privileges as a positive for him, they're his source of guilt and pain. His mask is to push people off and not expect or trust things with people, because of this he's seen as the guy who's unreachable in a good way, attractive and has it all and everyone wants his attention and needs to beg for it. His mask works for him, so he doesn't seem vulnerable, and he doesn't let people easily break him.

But we know he's exceptionally vulnerable because of the guilt of Seyeon having symptoms of PTSD, panic attacks, broken and self-hating. The cruelness of the world isn't attacking him like Kyung, but it's using him as a tool to hurt others well that's what he believes anyway. His dad is powerful and intense and leads to people feeling broken as Seyeon, and they take drastic measures to end it. The school praises him and lets him get away with stuff if he gets in a scuffle but they hurt others more harshly just by looking at their background and status, they did this to Seojun when they got in a fight in episode 4.

No matter what happened, Suho has never been able to get away from the price that came with his reputation and status. It cost him so much at the end it made him lose his closest friend, and it made him lose himself to the guilt of not being able to be the person everyone wanted him to be for not being able to reach that 'divine'' Suho reputation people give him.

For him, being with him hurts people, and so he pushes Kyung away harshly and wears a mask of coldness and harshness to prevent people wanting or expecting things from him and to make sure he wallows in his guilt alone. Without his mask, Suho is just a boy lost, frightened and traumatised. He's broken by what's happened, and with Kyung not only does she help him, but she also does when they first meet.

She unintentionally provides him with a way to speak out his feelings and save her the way he couldn't do to his friend, but also she's there for him even during times she shouldn't be; she runs and finds him, she lets him cry and breakdown, and she understands him with a few words. She knows what it's like to be afraid and broken, and she knows why it's like to feel like no one understands your pain.

Both she and Suho understand each other because they've been hurt and exhausted each time something from the past comes to remind them of the guilt of being who they are and wallowing in self-hate and disgust. It's so heartbreaking, but they both run to each other time and time again at their most needed moment.

Soo Jin: The mask of Strength

Someone else with the same issues that also proves to Kyung that the beauty she craves/ the reputation to be seen as having it all isn't great; is Soo Jin. Whilst on the surface she’s incredible, she’s powerful, fights for everyone, protects Kyung like a knight in shining armour, is protective of all her friends, uses her strengths to help others, and ensure people aren’t looked down on, or broken down.

Soo-Jin is also put into the same situation as Kyung and Suho, she's also broken down mentally, physically and emotionally. She's had her self esteem be destroyed repeatedly; for never getting to the top except she is always on top. She's the girl who has everything, like Suho her mask is the girl who has everything sorted, she's kind but harsh to the right people, she's protective because she doesn't like bullies and cruelty. She's intelligent and also beautiful naturally as Kyung puts it.

Still, her mask of strength is unveiled when you realise she's forced to put up with a bigger bully her own father, he's cruel, abusive and degrades her by physical violence. It's heart-breaking. To have the control, she repeatedly tries to wash her hands clean to the point they're raw and dry when she stressed and terrified. When she's broken and scared, she tries to restart again, washes her hands clean and starts again making her self anew, making her mind anew, and becoming stronger.

Her washing her hands mindlessly is the only time we see her without her mask, and no one can see her scars on the apparent parts they're hidden on her hands dry and cracked and easily misunderstood as dryness or mistake. Easily the part of the body that's not noticed at first.

Cruelty, Scars and Trauma

That's the thing with scars in this show and PTSD. Kyung's mask covers up the acne scars that people have hurt her because of. Yet now those scars are actively hidden under her makeup and guise of beauty, she has those external scars but also mental scars about how she looks she's been forced to a mindset where seeing her self in the mirror automatically gives her shivers, makes her terrified and go into self-hating phase. She's been forced to hide who she truly is because that was taken away from her by bullies because of her looks.' it just sucks and hurts.

Suho's mask covers his internal scars and burdens placed on him, you won't think he's broken or hurting from his past because his mask of coldness which makes everyone think he uses the status and reputation for his strength instead of loathing it. Suho's internal scars have made him become someone who's closed off, distrustful and harsh sometimes and no one understands it, they take it the wrong way, staying away from him. For example Seojun it's Suho's mask that made him think Suho was despicable and felt guiltless when in reality every single word SeoJun said to Suho about wanting him to never be happy until after he dies, about making sure he never has a good time because of Seoyeon just drives deeper with that self-hate. Disgust, Suho has for himself; it's like Seojun keeps repeatedly stabbing his wounds all over again. When he appears the issues increase even more if you've noticed, Suho's symptoms of PTSD increased because Seojun had started to actively make him go back to feeling guilty and remind him of the choice he made to push people away. Seojun playing a role in this is so upsetting, and it's made it hard for me to like his character as much as I did before.

The masks may cover up their scars in their minds and to others, but it won't make them free the way they want to be. These characters break my heart and have been through so much.

I'm loving this show. I think it gets better and more painful each episode, but it has the light moments, it touches your heart, and it makes you smile and cry so much. The romance between Suho and Kyung is also precious despite certain pauses in their growth because of their masks and miscommunications. However, the fact that they're each other's refuge to be free without their masks, to breath and to see each other the way others can't it's beautiful. Seojun's feelings for Kyung are also growing. I'm torn because I like his moments so much but thinking about emotional torment and pain he causes Suho, especially in these episodes isn't my cup of tea. Kyung sees him as a sibling right now, and I wonder if that's all she's ever goanna accept him as I actually want him and Soojin to be together at the end and Soojin is slowly getting into her role of second lead for Suho. I hope they don't use her hurt as a way to make her a villain. That's be sick if she breaks down because Suho likes Kyung not her like no let's avoid this storyline.

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #kdrama #cha eunwoo #moon ga young #lee suho #im jukyung #cwg #december #han seojun

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hes-writer · 4 years ago

Text

pov

Summary: y/n wants to know how it feels to love herself

Warnings: tw weight, angst, and a bit of fluff

Word Count: 1468 words

Pairings: plus size!reader x harry

Based on: “For all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too. I’d love to see me from your point of view” - pov, Ariana Grande

A/N: heavy themes on this one! please read the warnings

______

Y/N had always stuck out when she was in school.

She was that one girl who was thicker in circumference than other girls. The one who had a double chin without meaning to and the one who had chubby fingers that ‘looked like stubby carrots’ as one mean guy, Jamie, told her during kindergarten. Her cheeks appeared to be full—puffed out—with or without food.

Sometimes it made her blush because people often pointed out how cute she was because of it. Other times—which is most of the time—Y/N blushed because her cheekbones were practically non-existent. Contour couldn’t even save her as it only caused a breakout of tiny pimples to litter her sensitive skin.

Don’t even get her started on her arms—how flappy they were whenever she raised them. Or the way her watch had to be stretched out at the last cut hole around her wrist. She hated how everything looked on her.

“It’s okay, Y/N. He knows you’re a big girl,” She mumbled to herself, stretching the elastic of the sports bra just below her breasts. The fabric was already digging into her thick skin and causing marks to form.

Harry had invited Y/N to work out with him this morning. She thought that it was a fleeting dream, probably because Y/N was half-asleep when he raised the question. But the way Harry eagerly shook her figure awake this morning was a sign that it was reality and Y/N would have to face a very fit Harry while he faced at a not-so-fit her.

They had been together for a year now. Y/N was doubtful of her figure in clothing that did nothing to hide her ‘chunky’ silhouette. She opted for loose sweaters and high-waisted jeans most of the time. Shorts were rarely worn for the first few months of their relationship because Y/N couldn’t even imagine what Harry’s reaction would be like upon seeing her legs. Though, Harry always seemed to prove her wrong when his jaw ripped ajar and he practically salivated at the sight of them.

Y/N was aware that Harry knew that she did not look like the stick-thin models that he had a history of dating. She wasn’t the ‘normal’ size with the perfect ratio of boobs to bum, paired with a flat stomach. The fact was, Y/N had a larger chest and a thicker bottom, but that also meant that her stomach would bulge out, especially when she was bloated.

It took sometime for Y/N to be completely comfortable with herself. Even then, acceptance was a rollercoaster of loving and hating her body depending on how she felt.

Y/N was more comfortable with Harry reaching out to touch her waist. At first, Y/N would immediately shield her middle with an arm draped across or completely flinch back in fear of Harry touching any of her squishy fat. The questioning look he gave her almost made Y/N feel guilty. Now, she would only tense up for a few seconds, holding her breath to suck her tummy in before relaxing because this was Harry.

Harry never gave Y/N a reason to doubt herself. He supported her in every diet she planned to spearhead and comforted her when it didn’t exactly work out the way she wanted it to. Harry was there to take care of her when she felt too dizzy to move because she refused to take another bite solely because she went over her calorie limit for the day. He was the one with worried brows when Y/N would stare at herself in the bathroom mirror, wondering why nothing had changed when she was working so hard. Or, it felt like it.

Harry was also there for her when Y/N squealed in happiness at the sight of the scale showcasing a number that has decreased from the last time she was on it. He saw first hand how Y/N’s eyes brightly lit up from the smile on her face. The fondness of his green eyes prevailed because he was so so proud of her. Small steps.

——

Y/N was not too keen on working out with Harry because he had never seen her in that state before.

As silly as it sounds, Y/N had managed to steer Harry away when she was jogging on the treadmill or doing stationary workouts. If she didn’t like the way she looked, sweaty and out of breath, why would he?

Being in work out clothes didn’t make it any better either. He would see every crunch of her stomach fold as she struggled to do a sit up whereas he could continuously do some without a hitch in his breath. Y/N was sure that she would stumble somehow because of her stubby legs while Harry would be stoic because he was light.

And although Y/N was working on her technique, she would still get out of breath after about a minute.

It was just too . . . embarrassing to witness.

A knock on the door sounded rapidly before the door opened, revealing Harry in his short sleeved t-shirt and athletic shorts. A sweatband was keeping his curls away from his face.

‘You ready, sweetheart?” He questioned, standing behind her with his chin on her plush shoulder and hands running over the skin of her arms.

Y/N caught his gaze through the mirror. Sad, droopy eyes doing once over at her reflection before shaking her head ‘no’.

“I-I can’t let you see me like this,” Y/N admitted shyly, tugging on the band once more to snap it back in place. “I don’t look very nice,”

Harry pursed his lips in a thin line, roaming his hands over her stomach. Y/N winced at the closeness of his touch, inching her hand to grab at his. Though, Harry was quick to catch them.

“No, listen to me, Y/N,” He stared at her down. His breath was hitting her damp neck and she nodded nervously. “I do not care what you look like. You look beautiful to me everyday; with makeup without make up. In sweatpants or in skinny jeans. I don’t care,”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond because ‘that’s not really how you think of me’, she thought.

“It’s true,” Harry shrugged. “‘Know ya’ don’t believe me but it’s true. Love the way you’re plush on your stomach and everywhere else,”

Y/N laughed sarcastically, “You’re lying. There’s no way—look at me!”

“I am,” He said sternly, turning her around so that they could be face-to-face. “I’m looking at you right now, no?” Harry tilted his head to the side, raising an arm to thumb away the tears pooling beneath her eyes.

“Y-you just—how can you love me when I don’t even love myself? I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without crying,”

Harry’s heart broke with the withering sound of Y/N’s voice. Her words and tone held a truthfulness that pained him to no end. He couldn’t imagine the hatred Y/N felt for herself. Harry wished that he could make her see how beautiful she was.

“S’cause you’re not looking properly, love,” He whispered. His thumb stroked her cheek, hating the way her mouth drooped in a frown a little ways away. “Y’looking at yourself and finding things to hate,”

“There’s nothing to love, is there?”

Harry shook his head, grasping her jaw to look at her in the eye.

“There’s everything to love,” He pulled Y/N in for a hug. The feeling of her bare skin in his instantly warming his chest, toasting any sort of dilemma into a fuzzy feeling. “I wish you’d see it too,”

Y/N nodded in agreement, sniffling against his chest, “How do you do it, H?”

“Do what?”

“Love me,” She sighed, giving in to his embrace and wrapping her arms around his body. “For all of my pretty, which I doubt, and all of my ugly—you just accept everything about me. I jus’ wanna know how it feels like to love myself like you. . . like you love me,”

Harry’s heart practically melted at the whisper of her last few words—barely audible. But nonetheless, it warmed his heart that Y/N knew that she was loved. Y/N traced random patterns on his chest, zeroing in on the action to distract her from her shot of vulnerability.

“That’s how love works, no? Y’love someone despite what they think—despite what everybody thinks because it’s jus’ you and your person,”

_____

I love you guys.

#harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #Harry styles fanfic #tw weight

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