#like is it me?? am i the problem??
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#hi iâm gonna ramble a little feel free to skip over this#iâve just felt so lonely these past few weeks#like the closest friends i had both went out of town and neither told me and i had to find out through instagram#and like idk if itâs my fault for always being so closed off and not reaching out to ppl more or if they just ⊠donât wanna talk to me#and iâm happy that theyâre doing stuff that makes them happy and that theyâre doing well but like#they both have bfs which is fine but that means that they almost automatically have someone else to do shit with#and they have closer friends too so they hang out with them more i guess#all this to say i donât really have anyone iâm close with so i just ⊠donât have anyone to do that stuff with#like a coworker was saying they wanted to go to the beach with their cousins or siblings or they went on vacation with friends recently#and the only person iâd wanna do those things with is my mom ⊠and then we canât go bc weâre broke and have other things to pay#and i wish i could travel on my own but itâs not safe here and ngl i donât have money to go out of the country besides needing paperwork etc#all this to say that: did i fuck up choosing a bsf in hs that was thousands of miles away that now i donât have a genuine connection with#anyone in the same area i am?? should i have opened up more to ppl overall?? should i have tried harder??#or is it just fucked up that the only ppl i know who like the same things i like and who bond with me over them live so far away??#like is it me?? am i the problem??#i just wanna go to the beach man ⊠i wanna go on vacation and relax and not think about fucking dying alone#no one even cares about me i swear#if i got fucked up in a car crash or something and landed in a hospital or fucking dead for all i know who would even care
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
77K notes
·
View notes
Text
(âżââżâ) die (ê êł êâż)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* whatâs my deal why am I like this
#I know exactly why Iâm like this but why am I like this#I know whatâs wrong with me but wtf is wrong with me#adhd autistic#audhd creature#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#personality disorders#bpd stuff#late diagnosed autistic#cptsd recovery#did osdd#bpd#audhd#adhd problems#audhd problems#borderline personality disorder#complex trauma#mood disorders#anxiety disorders#psychotic disorders#neurological disability#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#trauma disorders#traumagenic
39K notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media
#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia#i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god#its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way#how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out#vent#rant#idk
148K notes
·
View notes
Text
for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal
before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"
and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"
#the truman show#sbs rambles#I keep thinking about how children on popular youtube channels should probably have laws to protect them#social workers assigned to them maybe#I dunno#they did not sign up to have their lives sold for profit#but here we are#tho#I guess none of us signed up for it#and our data is harvested more than ever#god#high-tech capitalism sucks turns out#OH WAIT because tumblr is bad at getting context sometimes#let me specify:#I am not saying that the movie The Truman Show is bad or that it normalizes this#like all good sci-fi (because it is kind of sci-fi) it's there to warn us of what the future could hold#and it did that in a very good way - it's a beautiful movie#I could see someone with a bad faith take assuming I meant that it was part of the problem#it absolutely wasn't. it didn't normalize this; we did#youtube did and social media#it's us that's the problem#or more specifically: big corporations and a lack of regulation#that's the origin of most modern problems
88K notes
·
View notes
Text
queen of diamonds, upright + reversed đ
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no đ«
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went âoh!â when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
People who smoke while walking: I hate you
#like thank u for making me walk in your smoke cloud for the entire trip#thank u#i am unapologetically a hater if you smoke and make it someone elses problem#same if ur drunk in public#stop that shit
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using
#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel#once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs#i respected their commitment to the theme#but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities#dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton#ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered#i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it#aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment#honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet#letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough#(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
KIM KITSURAGI - âIs that. My kineema.â
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.
EMPATHY - And itâs not going to be pretty, do something!
- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!
- âSure is.â
DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely heâs aware that heâs not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?
YOU - âIs it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who couldâve driven it into the uhâŠâ
DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!
YOU - âIt could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!â
KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you havenât seen him display before.
INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to himâŠ
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.
ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.
HALF LIGHT - Heâs going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! Youâre a terrible liar! You canât look at this, you just canât!
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.
KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. âDetective, it says â57â on it.â
YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. âMaybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?â
LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.
KIM KITSURAGI - â57.â
YOU - âWhat about 57?â, you brace yourself.
KIM KITSURAGI - âPrecinct 57.â
YOU - You wince. âKim, look-â
KIM KITSURAGI - âWhen I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.â He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."
He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. âGod. Fuck. Theyâre going to fire me over this, theyâre not going to hear me out.â
EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you donât want it to be the truth.
YOU - âPeople are more valuable than machines, Kim.â
KIM KITSURAGI - âNot people like me.â He rasps.
YOU - ââŠâ
KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.
YOU - âKim?â
KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for helpâ if he even wanted to â his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.
YOU - âKIM!!!!â
uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt
(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)
also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#den's disco swap#disco elysium role swap#HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH#i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic#anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform.#which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh#oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea#also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes#so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo#but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au#i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about +#this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg#sunnysidedraws#sunnysidedisco
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
What drives me even more insane about this scene is how you'd expect Gojo to imagine High school era! Geto in the crowd. Or at least not the cult leader, worst of all the curse users Geto Suguru. But no, it's the cult leader Geto. It's Geto as Gojo last remembered him. As Geto last was. Whatever choices Geto made, wherever his choices led him and them, however he was, whoever he was, traumas and messed up ideas and bad choices and ill reputations and scorns and all. Gojo wanted Geto Suguru there. Not any ideal version. Not any "what if" version. Not any "at some point in time before things went downhill" version. Not any "when your hands weren't stained with innocent blood" version. He knew very well what he wanted. And he wanted it all the same. He wanted Geto Suguru. However he was. He just wanted him to be there. He just wanted him to be.
And he didn't want him to help him, he didn't want him to fight with him even if they were strongest together and always fought together for a while. He just wanted him to be there in the crowd and cheer him on. He just wanted him to stand there and give him one of his sweet, heartwarming smiles that shaped his eyes into crescent moons. He just wanted him to be. Then even if Gojo had died in the end anyway, he would have been satisfied. It would have been worth it. Only if Geto was there.
#his love is so pure! it's so real! it drives me insane!#'this is pure love' playing in the background while Gojo said his last words to Geto before his death was a perfect choice!#people died because the strongest sorcerer alive didn't make any move against his batshit boyfriend for 10 years#then couldn't burn his body after he had to kill him. and then froze like a deer in spotlight after he saw his body in the subway#and the same thing is true for Geto his dead body literally came to life to protect Gojo#(the very first case among Kenjaku's many hosts during centuries) even after Gojo had killed him! and he bore no grievance towards Gojo#even in his last moment. to the point that even Nanako & Mimiko knew that Geto had no problem dying by Gojo's hands.#'Whether you come as a lover or an executioner I am ready to receive you.'#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#geto suguru#suguru geto#satosugu#gege akutami#my two cents
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
You're the bane of my existence.
I did this because of @straws-and-sunflowers damned copypasta post
Here's without the Overlay + Doodle!!:
#signa scribbles#One Piece#One Piece Fanart#Lawlu#Lulaw#Trafalgar Law#Trafalgar D. Water Law#Luffy#Monkey D. Luffy#One Piece Law#One Piece Luffy#Luffy x Law#Law x Luffy#one piece lawlu#lawluffy#One Piece LawLu#One Piece LuLaw#Now take this shit away from me before I find more problems to correct#I was struggling to just be happy with it#Like I am happy with it but GOD DAMN IT
509 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone else get occasionally assaulted by thoughts of holmes and/or watson dying in sussex? like, maybe one day, when they are both very old, holmes wakes up to watson in his arms and he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he steps downstairs and lights up a pipe. he stands there for a long time. he writes a few letters and sends them out. he walks around the house, observing everything. then he goes outside to sit near the bees. he listens to their soft humming and passes away in the sunshine.
or, one day, when they are both very old, watson comes back from the village to see holmes asleep in his chair. he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he sobs and sobs and sobs. he writes letters by candlelight. then he writes more. he writes until he has nothing left to say. then he goes out and sits by the bees, who are all silent. he passes away under the moon.
#LISTEN#I KNOW#I HAVE A PROBLEM#genuinely feel like i should trigger warning this because the impulsive thoughts should be giving ME trigger warnings#trigger warning: death#trigger warning: maximum old man yaoi angst#i am very sorry#i just need to exorcise whatever demon this is#also#i love pain#in shambles#sherlock holmes#john watson#acd holmes#acd johnlock#sussex retirement
490 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok everybody block dnp on all socials they have eyes everywhere. they know way too much. those omniscient fuckers are always watching. no one is safe.
like what do you MEAN you know about those stupid âreal voiceâ compilations and people absolutely clowning about jumpcuts and smudged whiskers and what do you MEAN youâre aware of those 2009 phan theories people still debate to this day? what happened to âi donât check my indirectsâ âi donât go on the tagsâ?? i bet youâre lurking RIGHT NOW reading this very post. all men do is lie. canât trust anyone đ€đȘ
#/j#dnp#dan and phil#pinof#phan#gamingmas 2023#yeet my deet#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#i didnât participate in the phandom until they came out#i was an older phannie i started watching at age 16#so i knew better#so this feels like iâm being punished for something i didnât do#and having always been mortified and embarrassed by the shit yall would say back in the day#my only respite was âok maybe dnp didnât see thisâ#no theyâve seen EVERYTHING#youâre past is coming back to haunt you but your past is also coming back to haunt me lmao#to be clear i am part of the problem simply for consuming phan/phandom media at the time and therefore giving those videos views#but i was always terrified of the phandom#like i didnât even consider myself part of the phandom for my first 4 years as a phannie#i was a closet demon phannie lol#i started participating after they came out and we were all actual adults about it and super respectful#i was like weâre all old and gay now i love this for us#yeet my deenp#bog
2K notes
·
View notes