#they both have bfs which is fine but that means that they almost automatically have someone else to do shit with | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jjwritten · 4 years ago

Text

Yum.

Can’t believe that BTS brought me a) back into fandoms shenanigans, b) back into writing. Almost 10 years without writing a full thing, 10 years without publishing.

For Yum, I went with the flow of how I imagine Yoongi's “best” romantic relationship. I have a few more drabbles for this specific dynamic :) To anyone who might find this and reads, I hope you have a decent time.

tags: bts!Yoongi, fem!reader, fluffy fluff, a short smut, gender neutral additionnal characters, overworking, did I say fluff because fluff, domestic au, slice of life

warnings: penetrative sex, unprotected sex, health (nutrition and physical activity), overworking, a tiny bit of cockwarming, fingering,

7,902 words

Remind me what you said you were going to do to me, please.

You waited a few seconds. Yoongi was looking at his screen, you knew it because he just had answered you at lightspeed. Yet the 3 dots wouldn't stop dancing. When they did, no answer appeared. Cool. Left on read, nice. You laughed it off, your boyfriend of three years being prone to this type of behavior. You also predicted to receive an elaborate answer in a couple hours, once the moment was gone. In the meantime, you should get back to work.

It had been about a month of overworking yourself for this massive new project. You were working on it with your best friend, in the interest of a big client. The stakes were big. Within this single project, you would provide a job to about 1000 artists, show engineers, students who wanted to debut in the business, and another thousand jobs in merch production. The reflexion upon finances was mind wracking, but was also the most rewarding. Everyone should be paid as much as possible. The show should be of the utmost quality which would require hours and hours of paid rehearsals. You and your best friend had to figure out the whole plan, the whole system, in order for the buyer to have no reason to refuse. They had called your duo, especially, to invest in a larger-than-life show, given that your ideas would blow their minds. People with big money who were dangling a whole pack of carrots in front of two ambitious passionate creators. Your motivation was simple : gathering all kinds of story tellers. With the experience you and your friend had, the show would border perfection in execution, with people from all over the globe, hired for their talents and work ethic. A month of intense focus would hopefully transform the dream into reality.

Your success depended on your and your bf’s efforts. It also relied on the people around you. Min Yoongi loved you for your creativity, your humanity, the way your ears were shaped, the way you stopped seeing your surroundings to immerse yourself in the picture you were trying to paint when telling a story. The observant Jimin never missed to point it out: Yoongi became silent everytime, all heart eyes. "It's just my favorite thing ever," the rapper shrugged. To you, it was incredibly comforting. Being loved by him and loving him provided enough security for you to challenge yourself to be better. Never before in a relationship could you have become a zombie in your personal life to favor a work project. But Yoongi got it. Silently, he took care of your personal life’s reality: the construction work in the bathroom, the packages, the finances, the groceries, and making sure you ate nutritious foods and slept a healing sleep. He was a soft presence, making sure you had everything you needed to hustle. Everytime you would try paying attention to him in the midst of an overwhelmed brain and painful exhaustion, he'd reassure you. "We have time, baby. Sleep, eat, work. Don't worry about me. I'm proud of you." I love you, you whisper out loud, smiling. You let yourself indulge a little more in the recent memories.

"Y/n, come back hug me in the kitchen. It's almost ready." Yoongi whined, his head peaking at the door of your bedroom. "I think you need a little break. That frown has been on your face since Monday." You nodded. "I'll be right there." He doubted it, but turned back humming. You closed your computer and put it on the floor on your side of the bed. Yoongi had moved the bed on the right side of the room when you moved. Before, when you walked in, the right side of the bed was right next to the door. You wanted the left side because it was closest to the window, which, capital-D Dramatic Yoongi-ssi could not comprehend how you could POSSIBLY imagine he would sleep on the right side of a bed.. "I need the window!!! I always sleep on the window side!! - Since when??! - Since the day I was born, and most likely in my past lived too, you said through your teeth. - You slept on the right side of the bed all right in New York, huh? - BECAUSE IT WAS NEXT TO THE WINDOW!!! I can’t sleep next to the door, what if robbers come in?? I need the right side! - What do you mean, if robbers come in?? You plan on leaving me for dead?! - You bet. It's each human for their lives, oppa." Despite your sarcastic tone at the word, Yoongi still smirked. Run BTS editors' would have put a blushing filter on his cheeks. "You're mean", he whined. You smiled at his flushing face, and wrapped your hands around his waist. His hands landed automatically on your shoulders. His instincts said to push you away, but his body maintained you in place. Back then, you thought Yoongi would never admit how much he loved how tactile you were. Skip forward a year and a half, and he demands his cuddles, like a big boy. "Let's just put the bed on the other side of the room, mh?" The softness of his tone made your heart flutter. You kissed his cheek. "You are such a great problem-solver, oppa. I love your mind. - ‘ehh"

You stretched in the bed, and rolled on your stomach, taking a deep breath in of yours and Yoongi's smells in the sheets. His lazy footsteps in the corridor were the last thing you heard before drifting off.

"My love..." Yoongi's hand was stroking your hair, his mouth landing little pecks on the side of your face. "Come eat, babe." His voice was so soft. "I'm sorry, honey boy. I'm just too tired. - It's been four weeks, y/n. You need a break now. Come eat, and take the morning off tomorrow. I'll take care of you." You sat up at the temptation. Bed hair and pouty lips did not take away the worried look on his face. "Two more days. Just two more days, and I'll be back. - I can do 24 hours at best. It's getting too much, you don't even sleep well anymore. I have received my fair share of slaps in the face in the middle of night." You laugh. "24 hours is not possible. I'm leaving at 6am tomorrow for Tokyo. bf and I have meetings all day. Then again on Friday. I should be back home Saturday morning. I'll wake you up in your favorite way. - With coffee? - And with coffee, sure. - Don't tease me. By Saturday, you will be close to decomposing from how dead you look right now. - Oh, thanks." He laughs. "Fine. Except you don't take care of me, I take care of you. Massages, cuddles, movies, bulgogi and fruity dairy free ice-cream... - Ooooh, dairy free ice cream? Sounds like you'll be taking care of yourself too. - Yeah, I deserve it. Plus, taking care of you is taking care of me. I need it, you need it. - Fair enough. Is there still room for sex? - Haha. Is there room for sex, haha. Hahaha. He shakes his shoulders as he pretends to laugh. - Does that mean a lot? your eyebrows question too. - I can't say for now. It depends on whether I'm dealing with a decomposing girlfriend, or if she's feeling herself. - Double standards. I see. - You better sleep well in the plane."

Five minutes of daydreaming have passed, and that's all the time you have. Back to work.

2 billion dollars. Two. Billion. Dollars. USD $2,000,000,000. 2,198,960,000,000 KRW. You and your best friend have been sitting in the airport lounge, processing. You thought you were developing a project for Japan. Turned out, the investors had planned to make it international all along. Tokyo, Buenos Aires, Los Angeles, Paris, El Jadida. The project will be ten times as big as you initially thought it would be, and extend over the course of three years. The team would be huge to help. Your dream had become reality five years ago when you both launched the company. You don't even know how to react to it being stretched like that.

The key-card to your door weighs a ton in your hand. You clumsily make your way inside, pushing your carrier in front of you. Shoes off, you drag your heavy body to the bedroom and let it crash into the bed. Naturally, Yoongi’s body is where it’s supposed to be, his knees in an L shape. Your face is planted in the blanket. Deep sigh. End of the road. Disconnect system. It’s break time. Long fingers find their way to your hair. “You good, baby? - Dude. Get up. Have so much to tell you.” You hear muffling. He's not moving. “Dude. Bf and I got a two BILLION check, get up. - Two billion?!” Yoongi is up. You proceed to tell him everything. Finally, you can explain to him what this project was about. He listens carefully, cheerfully, sometimes reacts excessively. You don’t care, you do the same because it feels like a reunion and you’re both overly excited to meet again. The both of you on the bed feels like being on your own island. Your tummy tickles with joy for the present, the moments you are going to spend with Yoongi and for the bigger picture with the unfolding of your project. Within a few hours of talking, the month of intense focus and routine is released. You fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, utterly relaxed. Yoongi presses a kiss between your nose and lips, first spot that came, before falling asleep too.

12PM. Eternal question: is it good morning or good afternoon? Knowing your boyfriend, you better think of it before you open your mouth. “Hi.” You say smiling. That will do. “Hi, love.” He breathes you in loudly. You wriggle your nose in his neck. His arms are wrapped around you, yours around him. Couldn’t think of a better place to be in. You both scratch yourselves on each other, rubbing your forehead on his cheek, him massaging your hands, kissing your hair, ears, kissing his nose, lips. For some reason, his bottom lip looks especially plumped to your half-open eyes. You spend more time nibbling on it, kissing it on its own without him giving the kiss back. Delicious. Hands rubbing all over, your brain starts working properly. Wait a minute? Yoongi’s usually soft tummy feels particularly toned. You lift the covers. “Mh, did I miss something? - Whatever, you hear him smirk though. - Come on, show me. - Aw, leave me alone, it’s cold.” He lies on his stomach, a big smile on his face making his cheeks look all soft and bite worthy. You allow yourself the indulgence. You are all excited now! You jump out of bed. "Okay, so coffee and then abs, okay?" With smily mhmhs, your adorable boyfriend rubs his face in the pillow. He's shy, you know. His body image is important to him. You feel bad for not having noticed. Knowing the man, he probably flaunted his buff bod as if it were nothing on week 1. Damn! Then on week 2, he most likely tried to have you feel them, "naturally". You're a little sad to have missed those cues, and some of them resurface in your foggy memory. Your routine was so strict during the past month: wake up, meditate, work out, to make sure your brain worked optimally during the day. Work outs were intense because serotonin helps a ton. Food was rich and nutritious, cooked with the most important ingredient in this household, the love of Min Yoongi. Not noticing the changes in your own body was a thing, but to miss out on your buff boyfriend? A no go. You grabbed everything to make him his iced coffee in the largest cup you could find, knowing he would l-o-v-e the look of quasi-eternal quantity. You were light on your feet, smiling at the peeled pineapple and singing to the pack of nuts. Yoongi’s face was slightly round a month ago, and he looked a little buff already. The first week, the fat must have melted a little bit to turn into juicy muscles. Then, with him making sure your brain was working full power, he fed himself the same foods. Your focus spur basically fed your boyfriend buff food. What did you do to yourself and above all, HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE IT?! As you put the spoons in the greek yogurts, you think of his little face smushed in the pillow as he pretended not to be excited by you finally noticing. You know that he's proud of himself and happy that you finally got all of your senses back. What a fun day ahead. With a smile up to your ears and a plate of things that should power up the man, you mini-skip back to your room.

Being with Yoongi meant you had about 10 boyfriends behind the same deep brown eyes. He could be a giggly chubby boy with his little bucket hats that he loved, making him look like an elf. He could be a meaty dude with an attitude and deep stare. He could be a skinny tech-boy with quick witts and always a book in his hands, and he could be business-Yoongi, dressed in all black and loving the sound of his big rings clinging together. What was even more beautiful was that all of these traits were interchangeable. Skinny Yoongi could have an attitude and a bucket hat. Buff Yoongi could be giggly and nerdy. He could do it all at anytime. Beneath it all, the constant of his intellect and emotionality made Min Yoongi appear as if he adorned a bow and ribbon at all times, ready to be gifted and unwrapped and enjoyed. Yum, you think.

"Coffee!"

Yoongi is on his phone in the bed. The AC is blasting hot air in a soothing sound. You can't help but laugh when you notice the naked skin of his chest peaking over the sheets, and his pyjamas thrown on the floor.

"Why-why-why? Why are you laughing? - Min Yoongi, I love it when you're feeling yourself. Please, drink this and put on a show for me. - Aren't you being a little dramatic? he hisses and bubbles his saliva. It's just abs and pecs, he says as he drinks, eye brows raising up his forehead. Five and six are barely defined.” He’s referring to his six-pack. You squint. “You..." He cocks his head as to say "I know, I'm hot" and your body is warming up.

Breakfast is made more delicious by Yoongi's feet rubbing against yours under the blanket. You're sitting cross-legged in front of each other, on the little island that is your bed. TV's turned on for some light background sound but you only hear Yoongi's giggles in between his smart clapbacks and mouthfuls of yoghurt. Eventually, the plate is moved to the side so your legs can extend on his lap and you feed him pieces of pineapple. Your fingers go a little too far into his mouth, and he relishes in your squirming when his lips brush them softly. Soon enough, his tongue is licking the tip and there's no pineapple left. Meaning, no reason to take your fingers away. Your leg on his hip tells your brain that in classic Yoongi fashion, he's not wearing any underwear. It's getting really hot between the sexual tension and the heater being turned all the way on. It is one of your favorite thing to do on days off: the heat allows you both to stay naked without worry. Positions can change as much as you like. Sweat drops make the whole thing more slippery and sexy. It's messy and delicious. You can't wait to be in the middle of the action, but remember to enjoy the foreplay. Yoongi's tongue acts as a wet bed on your ring finger. You relish in the look of his hollowed cheeks and suck on your skin. Your free hand has a great idea, on its own: exploring that built up chest. It's firm and the skin is soft and milky. It still holds a little bit of fat that makes his pectorals bouncy. He's going to fuck you, and they're going to move. Ugh. You swallow your saliva. Yoongi's eyes are getting rounder with arrousal. His traits go slightly down, showing he is getting hot and needy. You can feel pins and needles tickling your labia. Your boyfriend treats all of your fingers with the same lubbed up care. He opens his mouth to lick them from the stems to the tips. "I'm taking care of you today, remember? You relax and enjoy, understood?" You gulp and nod. Your first feeling is disappointment: when Yoongi says "I'll take care of you" it mostly means he won't put his cock in your mouth. That's okay. It will be for the next round. You're salivating. Meanwhile, Yoongi's mouth is going up your arm, on the sensitive thin skin inside your elbow and upper-arm. His tongue glides along. He creates the pattern: plumped bottom lip first, lubbed tongue, top lip. The three tightened together and make a wet sound when he moves onto another spot. Your legs feel numb. You're amused by Yoongi's needy look, but worried about your own. You feel so empty and deprived. Your head is already reversed back. Yoongi's special care is getting your muscles to relax one by one, better than any guided meditation ever. He stops for a second to take off your -his- t-shirt. He guides you to sit against the head board and his mouth latches on your right nipple instantly. The position is making you anticipate what you know he's leading to, but the nipple in his mouth is bringing you back to the present. The tongue is playful. Saliva dripping. Wet. It's the word that comes to your mind and you feel your pussy overflowing. Soft moans escape you. Your eyes are closed. You notice how relaxed your body is. Your arms are splayed on your sides and your back is one with the headboard. You're getting too relaxed. Yoongi makes his way to the other nipple and your body tenses up suddenly. Hands to his hair, ruffling. You realize his hands are on both sides of your stomach, keeping you still. You can't help to wonder for how long they've been there. "Yoongi..." It's not a prompt. You don't want him to go faster. Saying his name feels right. Yet, the air shifts. "y/n, mh" his raspy voice sends chills down your back. He kisses your mouth passionately and everything quickens. Shorter breaths, instant sweat. His hands cup your face to bring you to sit up. They slide down to your waist and you get up on your knees to let him grab your ass cheeks. He spreads them, making you moan as you feel your pussy more exposed. Your hands now cup his cheeks to get him closer, before sliding in the back of his head to plunge your fingers in his silky hair. Yoongi's hard bare cock is pressing against your cotton underwear. Both your hands go down to his shoulders in a light touch. In the midst of anticipation, you both are melting under each other's touch. His fingers dig into the skin of your hips, yours in his shoulders. "You're leaking" you say, looking down at the wet tip of his cock and the wetness sticking to your lower stomach. "No kidding." You smile into another kiss. He dips in your neck to leave wet kisses. As your head angles to give him more space, you catch a glimpse of your reflexion in the mirror. His perky toned ass is jerking up and down as he slowly ruts against you. Your hands powerlessly fall on his ass, and the image brings you back to the urgency. You squeeze and get his mouth back on your own. He spreads your legs bringing his hands in between your thighs. He is so needy. Yoongi slides his member up and down your slit and starts slowly penetrating you. Your pussy fills up slowly. He pushes himself as deeply in as he can, stays still for a couple seconds and slides back out, his tip still lightly touching your entrance. You open your eyes to look at him in the mirror, slim legs steady on the bed. Your hands still on his ass cheeks, he pushes himself back in. It's slow, controlled, powerful. He goes in the same way for a third time: "Fuck, I love you." You smile. He's not talking to you, but to your pussy. You kiss him and press on his hips to have him go faster. "I turn around? - Yes." His arms wrap around your waist softly as you press your back against his front. One hand holding onto the wall, the other on the back of his neck. You arch your back to give him better access. His cock fills you up again, this time offering your G-spot some electrifying friction. His rythm accelerates, senses slowly getting lost. He starts groaning, you start moaning. Somehow, your brain manages to list very quickly everything you'll do to him, and everything you'll have him do to you. It turns you on even more, fantasizing about Yoongi and you having more sex while having sex. His long middle finger comes pressing your clit, going up and down to your entrance, where he invites the tip of it to join his dick. You always thought of his fingers as fingering fingers. They’re the perfect shape. Your pussy is pliant and delirious. She's directing your body and your mind. None of what she says makes logical sense but, fuck, she happy. The chills in your spine, your erected nipples, Yoongi tightly pressed against you. His head often reverses back, chasing his own pleasure, hipsRemind me what you said you were going to do to me, please.You waited a few seconds. Yoongi was looking at his screen, you knew it because he just had answered you at lightspeed. Yet the 3 dots wouldn't stop dancing. When they did, no answer appeared. Cool. Left on read, nice. You laughed it off, your boyfriend of three years being prone to this type of behavior. You also predicted to receive an elaborate answer in a couple hours, once the moment was gone. In the meantime, you should get back to work.It had been about a month of overworking yourself for this massive new project. You were working on it with your best friend, in the interest of a big client. The stakes were big. Within this single project, you would provide a job to about 1000 artists, show engineers, students who wanted to debut in the business, and another thousand jobs in merch production. The reflexion upon finances was mind wracking, but was also the most rewarding. Everyone should be paid as much as possible. The show should be of the utmost quality which would require hours and hours of paid rehearsals. You and your best friend had to figure out the whole plan, the whole system, in order for the buyer to have no reason to refuse. They had called your duo, especially, to invest in a larger-than-life show, given that your ideas would blow their minds. People with big money who were dangling a whole pack of carrots in front of two ambitious passionate creators. Your motivation was simple : gathering all kinds of story tellers. With the experience you and your friend had, the show would border perfection in execution, with people from all over the globe, hired for their talents and work ethic. A month of intense focus would hopefully transform the dream into reality.Your success depended on your and your bf’s efforts. It also relied on the people around you. Min Yoongi loved you for your creativity, your humanity, the way your ears were shaped, the way you stopped seeing your surroundings to immerse yourself in the picture you were trying to paint when telling a story. The observant Jimin never missed to point it out: Yoongi became silent everytime, all heart eyes. "It's just my favorite thing ever," the rapper shrugged. To you, it was incredibly comforting. Being loved by him and loving him provided enough security for you to challenge yourself to be better. Never before in a relationship could you have become a zombie in your personal life to favor a work project. But Yoongi got it. Silently, he took care of your personal life’s reality: the construction work in the bathroom, the packages, the finances, the groceries, and making sure you ate nutritious foods and slept a healing sleep. He was a soft presence, making sure you had everything you needed to hustle. Everytime you would try paying attention to him in the midst of an overwhelmed brain and painful exhaustion, he'd reassure you. "We have time, baby. Sleep, eat, work. Don't worry about me. I'm proud of you." I love you, you whisper out loud, smiling. You let yourself indulge a little more in the recent memories."Y/n, come back hug me in the kitchen. It's almost ready." Yoongi whined, his head peaking at the door of your bedroom. "I think you need a little break. That frown has been on your face since Monday." You nodded. "I'll be right there." He doubted it, but turned back humming. You closed your computer and put it on the floor on your side of the bed. Yoongi had moved the bed on the right side of the room when you moved. Before, when you walked in, the right side of the bed was right next to the door. You wanted the left side because it was closest to the window, which, capital-D Dramatic Yoongi-ssi could not comprehend how you could POSSIBLY imagine he would sleep on the right side of a bed.. "I need the window!!! I always sleep on the window side!! - Since when??! - Since the day I was born, and most likely in my past lived too, you said through your teeth. - You slept on the right side of the bed all right in New York, huh? - BECAUSE IT WAS NEXT TO THE WINDOW!!! I can’t sleep next to the door, what if robbers come in?? I need the right side! - What do you mean, if robbers come in?? You plan on leaving me for dead?! - You bet. It's each human for their lives, oppa." Despite your sarcastic tone at the word, Yoongi still smirked. Run BTS editors' would have put a blushing filter on his cheeks. "You're mean", he whined. You smiled at his flushing face, and wrapped your hands around his waist. His hands landed automatically on your shoulders. His instincts said to push you away, but his body maintained you in place. Back then, you thought Yoongi would never admit how much he loved how tactile you were. Skip forward a year and a half, and he demands his cuddles, like a big boy. "Let's just put the bed on the other side of the room, mh?" The softness of his tone made your heart flutter. You kissed his cheek. "You are such a great problem-solver, oppa. I love your mind. - ‘ehh"You stretched in the bed, and rolled on your stomach, taking a deep breath in of yours and Yoongi's smells in the sheets. His lazy footsteps in the corridor were the last thing you heard before drifting off."My love..." Yoongi's hand was stroking your hair, his mouth landing little pecks on the side of your face. "Come eat, babe." His voice was so soft. "I'm sorry, honey boy. I'm just too tired. - It's been four weeks, y/n. You need a break now. Come eat, and take the morning off tomorrow. I'll take care of you." You sat up at the temptation. Bed hair and pouty lips did not take away the worried look on his face. "Two more days. Just two more days, and I'll be back. - I can do 24 hours at best. It's getting too much, you don't even sleep well anymore. I have received my fair share of slaps in the face in the middle of night." You laugh. "24 hours is not possible. I'm leaving at 6am tomorrow for Tokyo. bf and I have meetings all day. Then again on Friday. I should be back home Saturday morning. I'll wake you up in your favorite way. - With coffee? - And with coffee, sure. - Don't tease me. By Saturday, you will be close to decomposing from how dead you look right now. - Oh, thanks." He laughs. "Fine. Except you don't take care of me, I take care of you. Massages, cuddles, movies, bulgogi and fruity dairy free ice-cream... - Ooooh, dairy free ice cream? Sounds like you'll be taking care of yourself too. - Yeah, I deserve it. Plus, taking care of you is taking care of me. I need it, you need it. - Fair enough. Is there still room for sex? - Haha. Is there room for sex, haha. Hahaha. He shakes his shoulders as he pretends to laugh. - Does that mean a lot? your eyebrows question too. - I can't say for now. It depends on whether I'm dealing with a decomposing girlfriend, or if she's feeling herself. - Double standards. I see. - You better sleep well in the plane."Five minutes of daydreaming have passed, and that's all the time you have. Back to work.2 billion dollars. Two. Billion. Dollars. USD $2,000,000,000. 2,198,960,000,000 KRW. You and your best friend have been sitting in the airport lounge, processing. You thought you were developing a project for Japan. Turned out, the investors had planned to make it international all along. Tokyo, Buenos Aires, Los Angeles, Paris, El Jadida. The project will be ten times as big as you initially thought it would be, and extend over the course of three years. The team would be huge to help. Your dream had become reality five years ago when you both launched the company. You don't even know how to react to it being stretched like that.The key-card to your door weighs a ton in your hand. You clumsily make your way inside, pushing your carrier in front of you. Shoes off, you drag your heavy body to the bedroom and let it crash into the bed. Naturally, Yoongi’s body is where it’s supposed to be, his knees in an L shape. Your face is planted in the blanket. Deep sigh. End of the road. Disconnect system. It’s break time. Long fingers find their way to your hair. “You good, baby? - Dude. Get up. Have so much to tell you.” You hear muffling. He's not moving. “Dude. Bf and I got a two BILLION check, get up. - Two billion?!” Yoongi is up. You proceed to tell him everything. Finally, you can explain to him what this project was about. He listens carefully, cheerfully, sometimes reacts excessively. You don’t care, you do the same because it feels like a reunion and you’re both overly excited to meet again. The both of you on the bed feels like being on your own island. Your tummy tickles with joy for the present, the moments you are going to spend with Yoongi and for the bigger picture with the unfolding of your project. Within a few hours of talking, the month of intense focus and routine is released. You fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, utterly relaxed. Yoongi presses a kiss between your nose and lips, first spot that came, before falling asleep too.12PM. Eternal question: is it good morning or good afternoon? Knowing your boyfriend, you better think of it before you open your mouth. “Hi.” You say smiling. That will do. “Hi, love.” He breathes you in loudly. You wriggle your nose in his neck. His arms are wrapped around you, yours around him. Couldn’t think of a better place to be in. You both scratch yourselves on each other, rubbing your forehead on his cheek, him massaging your hands, kissing your hair, ears, kissing his nose, lips. For some reason, his bottom lip looks especially plumped to your half-open eyes. You spend more time nibbling on it, kissing it on its own without him giving the kiss back. Delicious. Hands rubbing all over, your brain starts working properly. Wait a minute? Yoongi’s usually soft tummy feels particularly toned. You lift the covers. “Mh, did I miss something? - Whatever, you hear him smirk though. - Come on, show me. - Aw, leave me alone, it’s cold.” He lies on his stomach, a big smile on his face making his cheeks look all soft and bite worthy. You allow yourself the indulgence. You are all excited now! You jump out of bed. "Okay, so coffee and then abs, okay?" With smily mhmhs, your adorable boyfriend rubs his face in the pillow. He's shy, you know. His body image is important to him. You feel bad for not having noticed. Knowing the man, he probably flaunted his buff bod as if it were nothing on week 1. Damn! Then on week 2, he most likely tried to have you feel them, "naturally". You're a little sad to have missed those cues, and some of them resurface in your foggy memory. Your routine was so strict during the past month: wake up, meditate, work out, to make sure your brain worked optimally during the day. Work outs were intense because serotonin helps a ton. Food was rich and nutritious, cooked with the most important ingredient in this household, the love of Min Yoongi. Not noticing the changes in your own body was a thing, but to miss out on your buff boyfriend? A no go. You grabbed everything to make him his iced coffee in the largest cup you could find, knowing he would l-o-v-e the look of quasi-eternal quantity. You were light on your feet, smiling at the peeled pineapple and singing to the pack of nuts. Yoongi’s face was slightly round a month ago, and he looked a little buff already. The first week, the fat must have melted a little bit to turn into juicy muscles. Then, with him making sure your brain was working full power, he fed himself the same foods. Your focus spur basically fed your boyfriend buff food. What did you do to yourself and above all, HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE IT?! As you put the spoons in the greek yogurts, you think of his little face smushed in the pillow as he pretended not to be excited by you finally noticing. You know that he's proud of himself and happy that you finally got all of your senses back. What a fun day ahead. With a smile up to your ears and a plate of things that should power up the man, you mini-skip back to your room.Being with Yoongi meant you had about 10 boyfriends behind the same deep brown eyes. He could be a giggly chubby boy with his little bucket hats that he loved, making him look like an elf. He could be a meaty dude with an attitude and deep stare. He could be a skinny tech-boy with quick witts and always a book in his hands, and he could be business-Yoongi, dressed in all black and loving the sound of his big rings clinging together. What was even more beautiful was that all of these traits were interchangeable. Skinny Yoongi could have an attitude and a bucket hat. Buff Yoongi could be giggly and nerdy. He could do it all at anytime. Beneath it all, the constant of his intellect and emotionality made Min Yoongi appear as if he adorned a bow and ribbon at all times, ready to be gifted and unwrapped and enjoyed. Yum, you think."Coffee!"Yoongi is on his phone in the bed. The AC is blasting hot air in a soothing sound. You can't help but laugh when you notice the naked skin of his chest peaking over the sheets, and his pyjamas thrown on the floor."Why-why-why? Why are you laughing? - Min Yoongi, I love it when you're feeling yourself. Please, drink this and put on a show for me. - Aren't you being a little dramatic? he hisses and bubbles his saliva. It's just abs and pecs, he says as he drinks, eye brows raising up his forehead. Five and six are barely defined.” He’s referring to his six-pack. You squint. “You..." He cocks his head as to say "I know, I'm hot" and your body is warming up.Breakfast is made more delicious by Yoongi's feet rubbing against yours under the blanket. You're sitting cross-legged in front of each other, on the little island that is your bed. TV's turned on for some light background sound but you only hear Yoongi's giggles in between his smart clapbacks and mouthfuls of yoghurt. Eventually, the plate is moved to the side so your legs can extend on his lap and you feed him pieces of pineapple. Your fingers go a little too far into his mouth, and he relishes in your squirming when his lips brush them softly. Soon enough, his tongue is licking the tip and there's no pineapple left. Meaning, no reason to take your fingers away. Your leg on his hip tells your brain that in classic Yoongi fashion, he's not wearing any underwear. It's getting really hot between the sexual tension and the heater being turned all the way on. It is one of your favorite thing to do on days off: the heat allows you both to stay naked without worry. Positions can change as much as you like. Sweat drops make the whole thing more slippery and sexy. It's messy and delicious. You can't wait to be in the middle of the action, but remember to enjoy the foreplay. Yoongi's tongue acts as a wet bed on your ring finger. You relish in the look of his hollowed cheeks and suck on your skin. Your free hand has a great idea, on its own: exploring that built up chest. It's firm and the skin is soft and milky. It still holds a little bit of fat that makes his pectorals bouncy. He's going to fuck you, and they're going to move. Ugh. You swallow your saliva. Yoongi's eyes are getting rounder with arrousal. His traits go slightly down, showing he is getting hot and needy. You can feel pins and needles tickling your labia. Your boyfriend treats all of your fingers with the same lubbed up care. He opens his mouth to lick them from the stems to the tips. "I'm taking care of you today, remember? You relax and enjoy, understood?" You gulp and nod. Your first feeling is disappointment: when Yoongi says "I'll take care of you" it mostly means he won't put his cock in your mouth. That's okay. It will be for the next round. You're salivating. Meanwhile, Yoongi's mouth is going up your arm, on the sensitive thin skin inside your elbow and upper-arm. His tongue glides along. He creates the pattern: plumped bottom lip first, lubbed tongue, top lip. The three tightened together and make a wet sound when he moves onto another spot. Your legs feel numb. You're amused by Yoongi's needy look, but worried about your own. You feel so empty and deprived. Your head is already reversed back. Yoongi's special care is getting your muscles to relax one by one, better than any guided meditation ever. He stops for a second to take off your -his- t-shirt. He guides you to sit against the head board and his mouth latches on your right nipple instantly. The position is making you anticipate what you know he's leading to, but the nipple in his mouth is bringing you back to the present. The tongue is playful. Saliva dripping. Wet. It's the word that comes to your mind and you feel your pussy overflowing. Soft moans escape you. Your eyes are closed. You notice how relaxed your body is. Your arms are splayed on your sides and your back is one with the headboard. You're getting too relaxed. Yoongi makes his way to the other nipple and your body tenses up suddenly. Hands to his hair, ruffling. You realize his hands are on both sides of your stomach, keeping you still. You can't help to wonder for how long they've been there. "Yoongi..." It's not a prompt. You don't want him to go faster. Saying his name feels right. Yet, the air shifts. "y/n, mh" his raspy voice sends chills down your back. He kisses your mouth passionately and everything quickens. Shorter breaths, instant sweat. His hands cup your face to bring you to sit up. They slide down to your waist and you get up on your knees to let him grab your ass cheeks. He spreads them, making you moan as you feel your pussy more exposed. Your hands now cup his cheeks to get him closer, before sliding in the back of his head to plunge your fingers in his silky hair. Yoongi's hard bare cock is pressing against your cotton underwear. Both your hands go down to his shoulders in a light touch. In the midst of anticipation, you both are melting under each other's touch. His fingers dig into the skin of your hips, yours in his shoulders. "You're leaking" you say, looking down at the wet tip of his cock and the wetness sticking to your lower stomach. "No kidding." You smile into another kiss. He dips in your neck to leave wet kisses. As your head angles to give him more space, you catch a glimpse of your reflexion in the mirror. His perky toned ass is jerking up and down as he slowly ruts against you. Your hands powerlessly fall on his ass, and the image brings you back to the urgency. You squeeze and get his mouth back on your own. He spreads your legs bringing his hands in between your thighs. He is so needy. Yoongi slides his member up and down your slit and starts slowly penetrating you. Your pussy fills up slowly. He pushes himself as deeply in as he can, stays still for a couple seconds and slides back out, his tip still lightly touching your entrance. You open your eyes to look at him in the mirror, slim legs steady on the bed. Your hands still on his ass cheeks, he pushes himself back in. It's slow, controlled, powerful. He goes in the same way for a third time: "Fuck, I love you." You smile. He's not talking to you, but to your pussy. You kiss him and press on his hips to have him go faster. "I turn around? - Yes." His arms wrap around your waist softly as you press your back against his front. One hand holding onto the wall, the other on the back of his neck. You arch your back to give him better access. His cock fills you up again, this time offering your G-spot some electrifying friction. His rythm accelerates, senses slowly getting lost. He starts groaning, you start moaning. Somehow, your brain manages to list very quickly everything you'll do to him, and everything you'll have him do to you. It turns you on even more, fantasizing about Yoongi and you having more sex while having sex. His long middle finger comes pressing your clit, going up and down to your entrance, where he invites the tip of it to join his dick. You always thought of his fingers as fingering fingers. They’re the perfect shape. Your pussy is pliant and delirious. She's directing your body and your mind. None of what she says makes logical sense but, fuck, she happy. The chills in your spine, your erected nipples, Yoongi tightly pressed against you. His head often reverses back, chasing his own pleasure, hips jerking quickly. Your hand keeps ruffling his hair. It’s rough and soft all at the same time. The movement of his hips become uncontrolled and erratic. Mh. The climax has him groan louder while you let out a deep audible sigh. He stays in, enjoying your warmth, catching his breath, humming softly, almost whining but in a low register. You come down from your high and kiss his cheek. He kisses yours, your neck, your shoulder before pulling out, your juices dripping down his veiny pale shaft and your legs. His hands settle on your sides, encouraging you to turn around. You embrace each other, tightly, both your hearts pounding. "I missed you. - I missed you too." Kiss. His tongue intertwines with yours and you're reminded of the dripping mess he made in your pussy. You put both your hands on each side of his precious head: "Clean me up, will you? - Mhmh" Yoongi pushes you back, spreads your legs, and laps away. Slowly and langidly. Cherry on the cake.Yoongi showers first to leave for his one meeting today. You'll have about two hours to yourself. Enough time for you to clean up the house, unpack your carrier, and take care of any little mundane task you overlooked this month. You both agreed on a 2000 pieces puzzle to order for when he comes back. What you don't think about is that sometimes, when you make plans, your cunt sneakily laughs. A puzzle? Not today.g quickly. Your hand keeps ruffling his hair. It’s rough and soft all at the same time. The movement of his hips become uncontrolled and erratic. Mh. The climax has him groan louder while you let out a deep audible sigh. He stays in, enjoying your warmth, catching his breath, humming softly, almost whining but in a low register. You come down from your high and kiss his cheek. He kisses yours, your neck, your shoulder before pulling out, your juices dripping down his veiny pale shaft and your legs. His hands settle on your sides, encouraging you to turn around. You embrace each other, tightly, both your hearts pounding. "I missed you. - I missed you too." Kiss. His tongue intertwines with yours and you're reminded of the dripping mess he made in your pussy. You put both your hands on each side of his precious head: "Clean me up, will you? - Mhmh" Yoongi pushes you back, spreads your legs, and laps away. Slowly and langidly. Cherry on the cake.

Yoongi showers first to leave for his one meeting today. You'll have about two hours to yourself. Enough time for you to clean up the house, unpack your carrier, and take care of any little mundane task you overlooked this month. You both agreed on a 2000 pieces puzzle to order for when he comes back. What you don't think about is that sometimes, when you make plans, your cunt sneakily laughs. A puzzle? Not today.

#bts suga #min yoongi #fanfic #drabble #domestic #fluff #smut #fem!reader #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfic

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #421

“hunted by hundreds and never to be caught / descent to wander, bring terror and take 'em all beyond”

Which do you prefer, donut holes, jelly filled donuts or normal donuts? Normal donuts. When you get old, are you going to make a will? I mean probably. Ever made your own definition for something on Urban Dictionary? No. What do you call your grandparents? "Grammy" and "Grampa." Do you like weddings? Not especially because I'm a bitter fuck. Do you want to live in a dorm in college? I never wanted to, so I never did. Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? No. Are you single/taken/crushing/confused? Single/confused. Is your best friend single? Yes. Is your first real best friend still there for you? I mean we have one another on Facebook, but that's the extent of it. Do you still care for your first love? Very much. I hope he's doing okay since his mother passed. What color is your blanket? Navy with black swirls. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. I am obseeeeeessed with Alissa White-Gluz's cover of Powerwolf's "Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend." Have you ever felt as if you lost your one true love? I feel like that all the time. But I should add that I don't believe there is JUST ONE person designed for you. There are way, way too many people on this earth to have just a single, perfect match. Which do you like better: Bowser, Mario, Luigi, or Princess Peach? Well I mean I always picked Luigi in Mario Kart, so I got a bias, ha ha. How many tattoos do you have? Six. Plenty, PLENTY more to come, though. Would you ever consider getting a mohawk? No. What do you like to do most in your free time? Do random shit on the computer. What’s your work title? Unemployed. Do you pay rent? I don't. What was the reason behind the last time you wore a bandage? I cut my finger opening up a cup of yogurt. Yes, I'm serious. What music artist have you listened to a lot lately? Powerwolf, lately. And Motionless In White. Who is taller, you or your best friend? Me. When was the first time you ever listened to your favorite music artist? Well, as a little kid, Mom would play some Ozzy in the car occasionally, and I actually loved "Perry Mason" so much that I would ask for her to play it. Growing up I'd obviously heard "Crazy Train" through random things, but I never truly listened to him until I got into middle school and went through my mother's CD case, discovering new music as I got into rock and metal. Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Nah, not really. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I honestly don't remember my half-siblings' positions, but my immediate younger sister is a children's social worker, and my older sis is a mammographer. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Jealous, no. Envious, extremely. They know what the hell they're doing with their lives and making shit happen. Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my mother. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Jealousy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Freeze up and probably die lol. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Yes, autumn. It's not hot as fuck, the air always feels so fresh to me, and I love the many colors of fall. It's just... chill. Can you adapt to change easily? Any examples? FUCK. NO. Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? This answer can change from "yes, because I'm a good human" to "fuck no because I'm worthless" in 0.5 seconds. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? Not in general, but I can be in some areas. What would you be famous for? Fuck if I know. If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? Red. I loved my hair when it actually took red dye well. What do you typically do on Easter Day? Go to my older sister's house. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Always. If you were given the chance to be immortal, would you take it? Heeeeeell no. Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Almost certainly yes; I mean that's $100 for something I can just take out if I don't like it. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. Would you ever consider adoption? Even if I wanted a child, no. I know I would need either the blood connection or for the child to be my partner's that I truly love. Do you tend to go for guys/girls with certain eye/hair colors? No, I really don't care how you look on the outside. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yes. Do you live within an hour of the ocean? More like two hours. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? An imaginary wolf, yeah. Which parent do you look most like? My mom, I think. Ever failed a test? Yes. That's all I did in algebra during my last college attempt. Do you have any friends who are famous? No. Your most recent ex breaks down and tells you they love you, what do you do? Well I know she loves me as a friend, but idk if she still does romantically, but either way, I'd tell her I love her too and ask if I can do anything for her. You and your last ex: who should hate who? Neither of us. We have a perfectly fine relationship. Do you believe you pick who you fall in love with? Definitely not. Last thing you ate? I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. Are you obsessed with someone? *discreetly eyes Markiplier* If you had to write a brief message on a dollar bill that many people would eventually see as the currency circulates, what message would you write? I'd have to think longer on this, but definitely something about not putting so much worth into the money and not allowing greed to rule the individual. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? The hope for a happy, prosperous future. If you were a multimillionaire, what do you believe you would be doing at this very moment? Well, it's morning and this is my prime time to really just chill and do my first scope of the Internet, so I'd probably be in a beautiful house in the woods of the mountains by a beautiful waterfall. I'd have the windows down to listen to nature, make sure via AC if necessary that it's cool... Damn, that sounds nice. If you could have a cookie jar full of anything you wanted, except money or cookies, what would it be full of? Hm. Perhaps a very motivational quote that I'd draw each day, kind of like fortune cookies, but actually good and applicable, ha ha. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? YA or fiction. If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say? Anyone but Jason or Sara would be an automatic "no." Jason would have to really prove himself. Sara, I'd be willing, but would ask her if that's what she really wants given our positions right now. Do you think Ke$ha is annoying? I don't know anything about her personally. I actually liked her music back in the day, even when I was all about metal. Last time you were hit on? No idea. Do you ever write in pencil any more? I always do if I have that option. I don't like that you can't erase with a pen. If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? At this current time, my right nostril again. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Would you ever get someone's name tattooed on you? Noooo. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes. I scar very easily. Have you ever had stitches? Twice. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? Before my parents divorced, there was a lot of fighting. Do you remember the person you first kissed? Of course I do. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No. Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? "Hated," no. I just tried to get into bands that I just couldn't, but didn't hate. Ever been called babe? Yeah. What is your favorite Pop-Tart flavor? Chocolate sundae. Have you ever made your parents cry? Yeah, sadly. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. And yet I'm still blind with 'em. Have you ever made out with somebody on a bed? Yeah. Are you tan? Most definitely not. How did you meet the last person you texted? She kinda like, gave birth to me. Next big event? My nephew's fifth birthday. Ugh, how is he getting that old. Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? Fuck off, no. There are some gorgeous/attractive plus-sized people. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yes. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Oh god, she witnessed me sob once. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want very small gauges in my bottom earlobe piercings. What is your favorite sushi? Ew. Have you ever been in a school talent show? What for? Noooo sir. What were you like at 17? Oh god... so sad and yet so happily, madly in love at the same time. I both love and hate that era. Tell us about your worst date. Haven't really had a bad one. I had one with Tyler that was an adventure that most would consider awful (flat tire, had to walk in the whipping wind), but I had fun, ha ha. What should be illegal that isn’t already? I dunno. What’s the song you most wish you had written? Probably John Lennon's "Imagine." What is the worst break up you have experienced? Y'ALL KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Do your parents wish you were more successful? Oh, I am CERTAIN they do. They'd never admit it, I'm sure, but I know I'm disappointing. I had so much promise in school. Has a significant other called you unattractive before? WOW, no. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? omg no Have you ever caught someone doing something bad? Cheating on their bf, yes. Has a dentist ever screwed up on anything when working on you? No, I don't think so. What is the worst birthday you have ever had? My 16th. I felt very, very unloved. I don't even like going into it. Have you ever been spit on by a llama? No. Have you ever locked yourself out of your car/house? The house, yes. With my elderly dog with arthritis, in the middle of winter after a good snow. I was freezing, sitting on the front porch and eventually crying. My phone was inside so I couldn't reach my mom, who was at work. As night came, I finally broke and went down the street knocking on my neighbors' doors, and probably the worst fucking one opened. With a gun in his hand. He was apparently an ex-sheriff, and he clearly didn't trust me. He was kind enough to let Teddy, who was incontinent and marked territory, inside (thank fuck he didn't pee in the guy's house), and he gave me a jacket, but Christ, we played 20 goddamn questions to see if I was legit, I'm assuming. I was beyond thankful when Mom finally got there when I used his phone to call her. And as it turned out? The door wasn't even fucking locked, our old dog just jammed the hell outta it by jumping. I was so, so pissed.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''beast of gévaudan'' by powerwolf

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bonscottintheimpala · 5 years ago

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Can I request a Jimmy x reader Oneshot? The reader’s first bf is Jimmy and she’s a virgin whereas apparently he’s experienced, and she doesn’t want him to know those facts as she assumes they’re turn offs and she tries to hide them but actually he kinda guessed it right already but he’s so fine n sweet with those. Fluffy smut? Maybe?

THIS IS ACTUALLY V RELATABLE FLUFFY SMUT SO YEPPITY YEP!

Good This First Time

(word count: 1,231) EXPLICIT

You're laying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling as a thousand thoughts swirl through your head. Although it's been just over four months, you cannot even begin to understand why the first human being you have ever dated in your entire life is James Patrick Page.

It started in your hometown, just after eleven on a Tuesday night. He had walked into your typical bar, sat down next to you, and started talking. By the time you both parted ways, he had your number, you had his.

But despite the length of time you'd both been together, never had either of you brought up the topic of sex. Which you hadn't really expected. After all, he's one of the men in the world who has experience in the motto of “sex, drugs, and rock and roll.”

“Maybe he doesn't want me like that,” you say to yourself, “But if that’s true, he probably wouldn't even have stayed with me for this long… Fuck. I don't know what to do. I mean, how do I even bring it up? It's not like I can just say ‘oh, yeah, I have done that stuff before,’ I'd look like a fucking idiot.”

You sit up as the door to the bedroom opens. Jimmy walks in carrying a heavy knitted blanket. “My mum sent this,” he chuckles, “I guess she wanted to send you something to show how much she likes you.”

You smile at the guitarist, melting from the smooth lilt of his voice and the beauty of his accent. “Tell her I say thank you.”

There's a moment of silence which is broken by your boyfriend. “Something is bothering you. I can tell.”

“How?”

“You have this little crease between your eyebrows and you look away from me. I'm here to listen to you, (Y/N), so just-”

You can't keep yourself from straight up interrupting. “It's about sex.”

You see his eyes widen before he slowly nods and sits in front of you on the bed. “Alright. What about that?”

“I mean, it's been four months. And it hasn't come up yet, and I just really wonder why. I mean, you probably have wanted to.”

“Have you, (Y/N)?”

You let out a laugh that's more nervous than you expected. “I…. Of course, I just haven't…. I don't really know how to actually say it.”

Jimmy reaches out and takes your hand in his. “I wanted to make sure you'd be okay with it. I don't want to force you into anything. And, seeing as I'm the first man you've been with, the first man you'd sleep with, too.” You start to stammer, but he just smiles and squeezes your hand. “It's okay. I don't care at all. That kind of thing isn't something that would drive me away. I can help you through it, if you're ready. But I don't mind at all if you want to wait a bit longer, I understand.”

You sigh and lean forward to press your forehead to his. “Thank you,” You whisper, relaxing as he runs your back, “I'm ready for this. And I need a little help.”

“Okay.”

Jimmy moves closer places his hand under your chin, tilting your head up to look straight into your eyes. You feel your heart pounding as he leans forward, holds your face, and kisses you.

You automatically wrap your arms around him and feel his hands slide down your shoulders to the base of your back, going to the hem of your shirt before he pulls his lips away and says, “Is this okay?”

You nod and let him lift your shirt up and over your head before he does the same with his own and goes back to kissing you, still being gentle and slow. You can tell that he’s holding back from the occasional tight grip of your sides, but that he also knows that you need him to.

And you’re thankful; he really cares about making you feel comfortable and safe for your first time. That the thoughts you had about him not wanting to be with someone inexperienced were true are completely unwarranted.

He breaks his lips from yours and stands up to take off his jeans and pants, and your head feels like it’s spinning. His body alone makes your anxiousness almost disappear and intense need for him takes over, because you see that from finding out you really want him and that you’re ready for this major step, together with your holding him close and smiling against his kisses, has been enough to get him hard.

You follow his lead and completely undress before Jimmy is on the bed and moves in front of you again, but he leans forward so he’s over you, making you lay down on your back. He looks up and down your body before speaking.

“Use your hand to see if you’re wet. Let me know.”

You follow his instructions, your heart hammering in your chest. “I am.”

Jimmy nods. “I’m going to use my fingers to get you ready. Since you haven’t done this before, it’ll help to make it a bit easier on you.”

You close your eyes as he kisses you. You feel one of his hands run down your stomach and between your legs, and your breath hitches as he slowly slips a finger into you.

He starts to move his hand back and forth to get your body used to the new feeling, and in between kisses, says, “If this hurts, tell me. I’ll go slow. I’m putting one more in. Okay?” You nod and try to relax as much as you can, but can’t help biting your lip and tightly shutting your eyes from the sharp stretch that comes with it.

Jimmy stops and looks down at you. “Are you alright, (Y/N)? Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” You reply, your voice strained, “I’ll be fine.”

He nods and starts to move his hand again, and as you get used to the new fullness, you start to hum into his mouth and twist his hair in your fingers.

“I’m ready, Jimmy.”

He pulls his fingers out of you and shifts, settling himself between your legs and lifting them up so your can wrap them around his waist. You can feel your body start to shake, and then he places a hand to the side of your cheek. “It’s okay. Just relax.”

You inhale deeply and bring your arms up to wrap around Jimmy’s neck. He kisses you as he slowly moves his hips forward, and you tighten your hold on him as he eases into you. There’s a sharp sting when he goes deeper that makes you hiss through your teeth, and then it’s gone, only leaving you with the feeling of him inside of you.

And when he starts to move, you can’t think of anything else other than not wanting it to end.

Your kisses become more frantic as he starts to speed up. You hardly really register the pain, because holy shit, this is Jimmy Page. Your first time is with one of the most famous musicians in the world, and he’s repeating your name over and over, that he loves you, that you’re incredible.

And, once he’s finished and you’re both sweating from the intensity, you know that he’s telling the truth.

#buying the stairway queue heaven #led zeppelin #jimmy page #text #led zep #jimmy page fanfiction #jimmy page fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #request #oneshot #oneshot request #jimmy page/reader #jimmy page x reader

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hobiwonder · 6 years ago

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~just relax, dummy~ | (m)

Pairing: Tae x reader

Genre: Insomnia AU.

Warnings: smut. porn watching. foreplay. exam stress.

words: 2.1k

Summary: tae has been promoted to ‘bf’ status and he’s using it to get you to relax before your exams.

a/n: request was that tae distracts you from studies bc you're stressed so here ya go. i added it to the Insomnia AU so new readers; maybe read that first. not proof read as always. i got carried away bc this tae is a little shit and too adorable. i hope you guys like. let me know :)

“Taehyung, stop.” You shrug your shoulder when he’s resting his head on it for the hundredth time and this was not the time for him to be distracting you. You had your genetics exam in two days and you still had two modules to go through!

“No you.” He mumbles like the five year old he is before resting his chin on your shoulder again to see what you were doing. Which was mostly just taking notes, colour coordinating them according to the topic and the questions that could be on the exam.

“Tae!” You shrug his off again – a tad bit more aggressive than you were going for and he ends up bumping back into your bed frame as a yelp leaves his mouth because of hitting his head on it.

“Ow.” The pout is visible and you are instantly turning around to rub at his scalp, mumbling your apologies while he revels in the attention.

“Ugh. Sorry. I’m just stressed. I didn’t mean to.” You’re gently rubbing his scalp as he watches you with the cutest pout on his face. Your boyfriend was cute as fuck ugh. Shortly after being in a friends-with-benefits arrangement, he’d finally asked you out. And you’d taken even longer to come to terms with the fact that you’d be in a relationship with one of the most popular man on campus and you were not ready to leave the little you’d been in for a while. Minding your business and enjoying your studies. But of course, this was new for Taehyung as well. The boy had been a slut – full offense to him – before he swore to be monogamous and asked you out.

The change in your life had seriously taken a toll on your studious nature because it was so easy for the handsome boy with his golden skin and broad shoulders to distract you. Whether it was you two going out to do normal boyfriend-girlfriend stuff or back at your dorm clung to each other like koalas. Though it never ended up as innocent as you always wanted to keep it. He was your safe haven to explore everything you’d only thought or fantasized about – which wasn’t too much until you’d come to know him – because that boy was game for anything. Anything. It was thrilling and kind of scary all at once but you were falling deepr and deeper for him because of the side of him that only came out to you as cliché as it sounds. He was a great listener. He’d figured you out so quick and knew exactly how to wind you down – help you through your panic attacks after you’d started to see the psychologist for your insomnia which was a story for another day.

What you are trying to say was that – he’s your now. And you want him to be in your tomorrow too. And that was saying something coming from a girl who’d let everyone go in her life to become someone so she didn’t have to rely on anyone. Taehyung was understanding, he didn’t pressure you but boy did he know how to slacken your guard. Which was exactly what his stupid handsome face was doing as you tried to study.

“You’re way too worried babe. You’re the second smartest girl I know. You’ll kill this exam.” Your frown doesn’t go unnoticed and taehyung just smiles his adorable smile.

“Who’s the first one? All your friends are at best average, no offense, at their studies.”

“Oh none taken. I was talking about my mom.” Your eyes widen – smile threatening to break because you almost forgot that he was a complete mama’s boy.

“oh of course. How could I forget.” He only chuckles before kissing your cheek sweetly while your gentle rubbing where he’d hit head had turn in to a scalp massage. He was such an attention seeker. Like a puppy. Yup. He was a giant puppy you somehow adopted.

“What you do need to forget about though,” he takes his hands off his head, bringing them to his lap to hold them with his own and looking at you so seriously you’re perking up too – he may actually have a good sugges-”

“We need to watch porn and get your mind off this exam.”

You spoke too soon.

“Ow! Stop abusing your boyfriend! You’re so violent …gosh you turn me on.” You throw the cushion in your lap at his head – perfectly aiming.

He only smirks, wiggling his eyebrows before he’s reaching behind him and grabbing your laptop from the bed – you both were sitting on the floor which he still objected to. Entitled asshole. Good thing you liked him. You couldn’t go to his house because you weren’t ready to be heard by the whole frat house. You were uh – loud, just a little. But it was Taehyung’s fault. He was too good at sex things ugh. Fuck him. Wait you had. You chuckle to yourself remembering last night.

“What are you giggling about.” He’s typing something on your laptop that you can’t see but when he glances at you he’s grinning, “ see? I knew you wanted me to distract you.”

“Even so, my mind din;t exactly think up watching porn together you horn dog. Is sex ever off your mind?”

“Nope.” He doesn’t look up when he replies. Only asking you to sit on his lap after he’s done typing and has set the laptop on the side – the back of it facing you.

“No way. I’m not going to sit on you Tae. I still remember how it went the last time I did that.” Which you riding him reverse cowgirl. Yup. He was a major horn dog and he kind of melted your brain whenever he was around and you two ended up just going at it for hours – gosh even your sense of time was at risk when he was around.

“Just come here you party pooper.” When you shake your head again, glaring at him he sighs like you’re the one being unreasonable.

“I have to study!”

“You need to have a break…. We can make fun of the terrible plot?” Your lips are pursing at the suggestion. Hm. You did like to dislike things. A lot. Especially people.

“Ugh… fine. I choose the clip!” Taehyung only smirks wider as he pats his lap with the greasiest look and you can’t help but laugh at his goofy face.

“Stop. You’re making me rethink my decision.” He just rolls his eyes as you settle between his legs, his on either side of you as he rests the laptop near your knees so both of you could see the explicit contents of the screen that have you blushing already. Everything was just so… out. Penises everywhere. Ugh. They were ugly. Why didn’t tae look this ugly? He had a pretty one. Thank god. Wait what is happening to your brain.

“y/n, pick already. You’ve been staring too long.”

“R-Right.” You scroll through the site, most videos containing pictures of girls with semen all over their faces and wow… you can’t believe this was actually, kind of, tiny bit, arousing you. And you hadn’t even clicked on one yet. After another minute of scrolling – one catches your eyes. The thumbnail contains a close up of a girl’s vagina with a veiny hand caressing her folds.

“Slow, clit rubbing orgasm.” Taehyung reads the title out loud and you just notice how close he was to your ear. His voice had dropped an octave and before you know it, he’s clicked on it when he notices you pause on the video for a little too long.

“You want to watch this baby?” His voice is soft and he’s leaning over to look at your face from the side – his larger frame has you surrounded and his hands have slipped around your waist. Incapable of words at the moment – why were you so affected so suddenly? God, he was right again – you just nod. You did need to unwind.

The video has nothing else but a close up of the girl’s labia, pussy spread apart and swollen as a hand – considerably larger than her smaller hips, much like you and taehyung – is softly caressing her folds. The man is spreading the wetness around to lubricate for a smoother glide and you both can now hear the girl’s soft mewls. Taehyung is watching you. You can tell because his gaze is almost burning the side of your head. But you’re too in to the video that you don’t care that he can probably see each shift in your breath, expression and posture.

The wetness in your undies isn’t unnoticed by you as much as you try to ignore it.

“She likes it.”

“uh-huh.” Taehyung chuckles at how mesmerised you sound. Your lip is being held hostage by your teeth, hands suddenly grabbing at Taehyung’s wide thighs, watching the incredibly hot scene unfold right in front of you. There is nothing to make fun of for you in this video, damnit. The man in the video has now started to gently circle the girl’s clitoris, never breaking pace, pulling back the hood of her clit to zero in on the spot as her soft mewls turn in to needy moans. God, this was hot.

“You would like it too, huh? You like it when I rub your clit?” Taehyung’s words aren’t helping you snap out of this haze – instead pushing you further in to the lust that was fogging up your brain.

“Y-Yeah.” His hands are gently massaging your waist and you’re trying not to squirm on his lap. The man on the screen is still insistently rubbing the girl’s clit, slowly but surely building her up. Just then, Taehyung’s hands – both of them – slipped inside your shorts and it’s even easier for him to locate your clit and start palming it gently because of the missing piece if underwear. You always went commando at home and Taehyung loved it.

“T-Tae, not now i-I have to- fuck.” The high pitched moan comes out automatically when you glance down, watching Taehyung’s vascular hand inside your shorts as his long fingers slowly work your clit – mimicking the actions of the man on the screen. You’re still watching the video, the girl is louder than ever and now her legs are twitching – all the while Taehyung is slowly building up a pace on your clit, rubbing small circles on it as his other hand spreads he wetness that’s leaking steadily from your pussy. The feeling of one of his hands constantly rubbing your clit in wide circles and the other caressing your swollen labia and rubbing the swollen nether lips is indescribable. You feel like you have a fever and your hands are scratching at his thighs while you can’t take your eyes off the erotic video.

“Shh. Just let me make you cum baby. Relax.” You can only moan in response, your legs now over his own as you are spread open like you’d been countless times before. He loved having you on his lap. But when Taehyung slips two fingers from his other hand inside your clenching walls, the video is all but forgotten.

“Tae! F-fuck. Right there.” He’s rubbing the spongy spot inside your channel – not thrusting, just grinding his fingers inside you while his other rubs away at your swollen, blood reddened clit.

“Right here baby?” Your dry sob confirms his rhetorical question’s answer as you pant in his lap, head lolling back in his chest. You were so close.

“Cum for me baby. All over my hand.” And that’s all it takes before you’re grabbing fistful of his trousers in your hands as Taehyung still continues to rub your clit at the same pace and when you do cum – it’s nothing like what you’ve experienced before.

“Oh god! Tae.” You’re crying out as wave after wave goes through your already weary body. The blissful climax seems to last forever, slowly washing over you – just like the not slow and not fast paced rubbing he was giving you - your clit twitching every time Taehyung’s fingers swiped over it.

You’re heaving, limp in his lap when you’ve finally come down from your high, laptop all but forgotten on the side. Taehyung gently leans down to your head that’s resting back on his chest – taking out a hand from your short to push his sullied fingers in your mouth that you eagerly suck with a moan.

Taking out his fingers – he replaces them with his mouth, taking your lips in a sweet and dep kiss that has you sighing in contentment. For the next few minutes, he just kisses you slowly, tangling his tongue with yours – just some good old making out (what Taehyung would call it). You had become fluent in Taehyung speak.

“You’ll do great baby. Take it easy on yourself.” A soft kiss is placed on your forehead while your eyes automatically close, nestling your face in his neck.

God, you’d fallen hard for this horn dog.

a/n: i love this giant puppy. thanks for reading and please do drop by to let me know what you thought.

#bts #bts smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung #insomnia drabble

1K notes · View notes

novkat21 · 6 years ago

Note

[1/2] Prompt//Sterek :: Stiles gets whammied with a Lack of Inhibitions/Truth spell, and all he wants to do (much to everyone's surprise) is be clingy with Derek. (Bonus: Stiles is lonely + insecure & has a bit of a breakdown about it because lying is not a thing he can do, and Derek, who's already getting feels because of this whole situation, just goes all, *i know you, now, and shall be the most overprotective, cuddly, always here for you bf, bc that's obvi what you need*, but, of course...)

[2/2] Prompt//Sterek :: (Bonus cont’d) But, of course, is a sourwolf, I lack the necessary communication skills about it, so, when the spell’s broken, and Stiles is sure that he’s just totally pissed Der off, miscommunication/pining/angst ensues when Der starts, like, stalking him all serial-killer eyebrows and scowl (he’s just uncomfortable in crowds, okay? and Stiles’ house smells like gunpowder, and he doesn’t know… how… to do this) Bonus-bonus: Stiles, unwittingly, makes Der smile more.

Also on AO3.

A bright light shines down, temporarily blinding Stiles as he blinks awake. He shifts and feels a painful kink in his neck as he slides slightly on a cold, hard surface.

“Stiles.” The young man glances toward the voice to find Deaton standing over him with a look of concern. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a bus.” He groans as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. “What happened?”

“That girl you thought was a witch in bio? Turns out she was,” Scott tells him, standing on the other side of the examination table. “You called her out once everyone left the room and she waved her hand all weird at you and you fell unconscious.”

“It was definitely a spell of some sort, but we’ve been waiting for you to wake up to figure out what,” Deaton explains. “Do you feel any different? Any wooziness or strange desires?”

Stiles shakes his head. “No.”

Deaton makes a sound of acknowledgement. “Well, since you’ve been unconscious for some time, we don’t really know what she did to you. If anything strange happens, let me know.”

Stiles nods and hops off the table. “Thanks, doc.” He walks with Scott out to his Jeep and pauses by the driver’s door. “She didn’t do anything to anyone else, did she?”

“Nope. Just you, man,” Scott says. “Then she booked it out of the room and I haven’t seen her since.”

“I told you there was something off with her.”

Scott rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know that now.”

“Just believe me more often and stuff like this won’t happen.”

“I do believe you, Stiles. It’s just… I mean, she wasn’t doing anything bad, so I don’t think we should’ve cornered her like that.”

“Well, you weren’t going to do anything!” Stiles slams his mouth shut as Scott gives him a look, but then he’s talking again, unable to stop himself. “I just mean that you obviously weren’t going to talk to her and I was getting these bad vibes, which you kept brushing off when I told you about them. I knew you didn’t believe me and someone had to do something!”

Scott’s jaw drops and he takes a step back. “What the hell, Stiles?”

“I have no idea where that came from and I’m not sorry. Shit!”

“Look, I’m just gonna walk home.”

Stiles flails and grabs Scott’s arm. “No, Scott, just… Get in the car. I’ll drive you. Please.”

Scott looks at him for a long moment before he nods. “Okay.”

Stiles sighs and lets go, moving away as he watches Scott climb into the vehicle. He slowly walks around to the driver’s side, trying to figure out what could’ve caused him to say that. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that it was all the truth, not one word a lie.

What the hell is going on?

♡

Stiles stares at the computer screen as he scrolls through endless search results on his web browser, getting more frustrated by the second. A sudden cold breeze has him looking up as Derek steps inside and he notices that his tension and negative feelings wash away.

“Hey,” Derek greets, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Scott told me what happened. Are you okay?”

“No,” Stiles says automatically, leaning back in his chair. “I’ve been researching for hours, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for.”

“You still don’t feel any different?”

“Aside from spewing out the truth and just wanting a hug from you, no.” Stiles’ eyes widen the second the words are out and tears his gaze away from Derek, who looks genuinely surprised.

“It sounds to me like a truth spell.”

Stiles focuses back on his computer. “Yeah, I figured that out. But everything I’m finding says it can only be given verbally or touch. Like a drink or an embrace.” He pauses and closes his eyes, feeling heat rush up his cheeks. “But Scott says that she didn’t do either of those. Just waved her hand and I was out.”

“She must be powerful,” Derek replies casually. “Perhaps she’s an immortal.”

Stiles glances over at the werewolf. “Those exist?”

Derek poorly hides a smile, looking utterly amused. “Most fairytale and bedtime story creatures exist. You’ve only seen a handful.”

“Great.”

“Seems you’ve got everything under control here, so I’ll just head out.”

Stiles jumps to his feet. “Wait!” Derek pauses and glances back at him, raising a brow when Stiles’ hands clench into fists at his sides. “Do you have to go?”

Derek turns completely around to look at him, both eyebrows high on his forehead. “What?”

Stiles bites his lip, then blurts out, “I want you to stay.”

“Stay…the night?”

“Yes.” Stiles clamps down on the inside of his cheek painfully, hating the spell more and more.

Derek is quiet for a long moment before he gestures to the door. “I guess I’d better join you for dinner, then.”

Stiles sputters then slowly nods and leads him down to the kitchen. His father looks up at them as he opens the pizza box. He hands them each a paper plate, lips pulled up in a grin.

“Figured since you were taking so long up there you’d be bringing a friend with ya,” his father says as he takes a seat. “How are you doing, Derek?”

Derek sits down on one of the empty chairs after placing two pieces on his plate. “I’m good, thanks.”

Stiles moves the last chair close to Derek and peers over at him after feeling his gaze. Concern flickers in his hazel eyes and Stiles looks back down at his food as he sits. “Thanks for dinner, dad. But next time, you’re not getting any pepperoni or meat lovers. I seriously don’t know what I’d do if you died of a heart attack from too much meat.”

“I’m fine, kiddo. One cheat day won’t kill me.”

“You don’t know that. No one does.” Stiles pokes at his food, jaw clenched. He feels Derek bump their knees together and glances over at the werewolf. Derek’s smiling at him. It’s small, but it’s there, even as he starts eating.

The rest of dinner is quiet, Derek and the sheriff making small talk while they finish off the pizza. Once it’s over, Stiles’ father goes into the other room and turns on some TV, leaving Derek and Stiles alone in the kitchen.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Derek asks.

“Just…” Stiles presses his fist against his mouth, trying to hold back the words aching to come out.

“Stiles.”

At the soft tone, Stiles smacks both hands on the table in frustration. “All I want you to do is stay the night and cuddle with me. And when you leave in the morning, I want to go with you. I would follow you anywhere, Derek. I constantly want to be by your side and hold your hand and snuggle with you and—”

“Okay, okay.” Derek places one hand over Stiles’ as the boy slowly gets worked up. “I can stay tonight. I’m sure your father won’t mind.”

“Yeah, only because I’m eighteen now. If it was six months ago, he would’ve had his shotgun aimed at your head at this point.”

They both chuckle in the quiet room. Stiles glances at his hand, Derek’s still resting over it. His gaze flickers to Derek to find the man already staring at him.

“Stiles,” Derek whispers, gaze swiveling to his lips. The space between them gets smaller as they lean in closer to each other.

A throat clears from the kitchen entrance and they jerk away, Stiles flailing his arms and nearly falling off his chair.

“Don’t you two have a pack night at the loft tonight?” his father asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“Oh shit! I totally forgot!” Stiles exclaims, jumping from his seat. He looks at Derek anxiously. “Can you drive?”

Derek smiles as he gets to his feet. “Of course.” He meets the sheriff’s gaze and inclines his head. “You alright if he stays the night?”

The sheriff shrugs a shoulder. “He’s done it before without my consent so there’s no point in stopping him. I trust you.”

The tips of Derek’s ears turn red, his tone humble. “Thank you, sir.”

“We’ve talked about this. It’s John.”

“Right. Sorry.” Derek puts his hand on the small of Stiles back and walks out to the Camaro with him. They both climb in and Derek heads to the loft.

“Sorry about the, uh, the almost-kiss back there,” Stiles mumbles as he stares out the window. “I was just saying stuff I couldn’t stop from saying—nor wanted to stop from saying. And then you were looking at me and then our hands and—”

“Stiles, it’s fine,” Derek says gently. “I know you’re not able to hold anything back with your words right now, but I don’t mind.”

Stiles peers over at the werewolf questioningly. “Really?”

Derek glances at him with a small smile. “Really. Let’s go have some fun with the rest of the pack. You won’t even have to worry about the truth spell.”

Nodding, Stiles gets out once Derek parks and follows him up to his living space. The pack is already inside the loft—Scott let them in with his key—and turning on a movie, a variety of snack foods scattered across the coffee table.

“Hey, you finally made it!” Erica shouts with a grin. “And you came together! Took you guys long enough.”

Stiles halts in the middle of the room, Derek right beside him. “What?”

“We all know you have a thing for Derek,” Jackson says before he takes a sip of his soda. “It’s kind of obvious.”

Stiles feels the blood drain from his face even as the words spill out of his mouth, “Yeah, I know. I’m not very subtle in that regard.”

The pack all stares at him for a moment in shocked silence.

“You what?” Lydia asks as Jackson busts out laughing.

“I have a crush on Derek and I’m not subtle about it. At all.” Derek looks at him with bewilderment and concern. Too late to turn back, Stiles tosses his hands in the air, a blush quickly rising up his cheeks. “I don’t know why you’re all surprised! I’m sure you could smell the arousal and shit.”

“Yeah, it reeks!” Jackson says once he calms down.

“Shut up, Jackson,” Malia snaps. “Can’t you see he’s upset?”

“He shouldn’t have said anything, then.”

“I can’t stop myself, you asshole!” Stiles yells. “Look, all I want to do is watch a movie with you all and cuddle up with Derek on the couch and forget this ever happened.” Jackson cracks up again, toppling off the loveseat. Lydia rolls her eyes and gives Stiles a sympathetic look. Tears of embarrassment fill his eyes as Stiles looks away from the group.

“Stiles,” Derek says softly, a hand on his shoulder.

A part of Stiles wants to shrug it off and run out, but the other part—the part that’s being controlled by the spell—has him leaning into the touch. “I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“Dude, it’s pack night,” Scott states, sounding almost accusatory. “You can’t just spend it with Derek.”

“I want to because I’m…I’m lonely. I mean, you all have someone and I…I have no one. Derek and I get along really well and I’ve been pining after him for a while. I can’t help it. I’ve tried to ignore my crush, to get over it, but I just can’t. And I feel less lonely when he’s around and…” A tear slips down Stiles’ cheek and then he finally breaks away, dashing up the spiral staircase. He hears Derek, Lydia, Erica, and Isaac yell after him, but ignores them all as he hides in the first bathroom he sees, locking the door behind him. He sits on the lid of the toilet and lets the tears fall, gripping his hair tightly.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he mutters under his breath. “Why did this have to happen to me?”

He stays in there for a while as he breaks down, trying to ignore the fact that the pack can hear everything. He slumps to the floor and curls up into a ball, his mind in an endless self-loathing loop.

After what feels like forever, a knock sounds on the door. Stiles lifts his head, wishing for a brief moment that he were a werewolf so he would know who was on the other side.

“Stiles, open the door,” Derek’s voice carries through the wood, soft and gentle. Stiles pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, refusing to say a word. “Everyone’s gone. It’s just you and me. Come out.” Sighing, he gets to his feet and reluctantly opens the door, wiping at his eyes. Arms wrap around him and pull him against a hard chest, which he nearly melts against. “Did you still want to watch a movie with me tonight?”

Stiles nods, letting the feeling of warmth and comfort wash over him. “Please.”

“Alright, you can pick the movie.” Stiles smiles and holds Derek’s hand as the werewolf leads him downstairs. He wanders over to the movie selection and picks one out, putting it in the DVD player. He curls up on the couch next to Derek, snuggling closer when he feels the man wrap an arm around him. He stays quiet the rest of the night, not feeling the need to comment on anything for once.

♡

The morning light streams in through the large window in the loft, pulling Stiles from his sleep. He blinks a few times as memories of yesterday come back. He sits up and finds he’s alone on the couch with a light blanket over him, the TV shut off, all the lights off and the front door locked.

He swallows thickly and tosses the blanket aside, standing up with a stretch. Glancing around for his keys, he pauses, remembering that Derek drove them here. He lets out a heavy sigh and fixes his laces before he unlocks the door and heads out. He walks down the steps, the metal thunking loudly under his feet. He reaches the sidewalk and starts to head in the direction of his house when Derek runs up to him. He stops and stares at the shirtless man before him, sweat glistening off his skin, hair damp and pushed back.

“You’re up early,” Derek greets.

“Sun woke me up,” Stiles replies. “Damn, you look hot.”

“Uh, thanks. Where are you going?”

Stiles blinks and finally tears his gaze away from Derek’s chest. “Home.”

Derek’s expression immediately changes from friendly and kind to concerned in a split second. “On foot? That’s thirty minutes away and it’s not exactly warm outside today. Why didn’t you just wait for me?”

Stiles shrugs and scuffs his shoe on the pavement. “I didn’t think you wanted me around anymore since I woke up alone.”

“I went for a run. I didn’t think you’d be up by the time I got back.”

“Well, I was. And I felt kinda stupid for even staying over.”

Derek takes a step closer, one hand reaching out but halting in midair before he pulls it back to his side. “Don’t feel stupid. I was the stupid one for leaving you alone. Come on, I’ll make it up with some breakfast.”

Stiles grins and follows him back up to the loft. He sits down on the couch and watches Derek move around the kitchen. He wraps his arms around his bent legs and rests his chin on his knees.

“You’re really attractive when you’re in the kitchen like that,” he blurts.

Derek glances back at him with an amused grin. “In the kitchen cooking?” Stiles nods as heat rushes up his neck and cheeks, Derek’s chuckle echoing in the space around them.

♡

“So I was thinking we could go talk to Deaton today, see if he has anything that could help you,” Derek says after they finish eating.

“I’ve never trusted the guy,” Stiles replies. “But if you think he’ll be able to help, sure.”

“He’s our best chance right now since the internet gave you nothing.”

Stiles sticks his tongue out at him. “Research is a lot harder than you think, dude.”

Derek shakes his head as he grabs his keys and walks with Stiles out to the Camaro. “Then why do you always insist on doing it for us?”

“I don’t really do it for anyone but you. And because I like you.”

Derek hums, both getting in the car. “I don’t think you need to keep reminding me of that. I already know.”

Stiles scowls at him as he buckles his seatbelt, Derek peeling out of the parking lot. “You think I like repeating myself? It just keeps happening. I just really really like you.”

Derek lets out a soft sigh, but doesn’t say anything as he keeps driving. Stiles turns his attention out the window, watching all the colors blur as they pass through the city. The rest of the drive is quiet save for the purring of the Camaro’s engine. They pull up in front of the vet’s clinic and walk inside.

“Derek, Stiles,” Deaton greets as he looks up from some papers on the front counter. “How can I help you?”

“It was a truth spell,” Stiles tells him, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What the witch did to me. I have no control over what I’m saying.”

“Ah, then it must’ve been a powerful one. Most truth spells I know of have to be given orally or by touch.”

“I know. We already figured that out.”

“We just need help finding a cure, if possible,” Derek says.

Deaton looks contemplative for a moment. “I think I may have something. One moment.”

Stiles glances over at Derek as the doctor goes into the back. Derek’s expression is closed off, staring straight ahead. “I wish I hadn’t gotten hit by this spell so it hadn’t ruined anything between us.”

Derek turns to him after a moment. “You didn’t ruin anything, Stiles.”

“But you’re mad at me.”

“No, I’m not,” Derek mutters, eyes softening slightly. “You don’t have any control—”

“Would you stop saying that? I already know I don’t have control! I don’t need a stupid reminder!”

Derek’s jaw clenches, gaze darkening, and Stiles internally curses. Deaton comes out of the back with a small book in his hand at that moment, saving Stiles from saying anything else. They both turn to him and move closer to the counter.

Deaton opens up the book to a random page, then points at the truth spell section. “I have an appointment coming in any minute so I don’t have time to read anything right now. But take a look at this and see if you can find anything. Let me know if you need any help.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Stiles grumbles as he takes the book and walks out of the clinic.

He gets in the Camaro and immediately starts sifting through book. He keeps his focus on it as Derek slides behind the wheel and drives. Stiles skims through the unique drawings and languages that have been written into the parchment, some of them so old they’re too faded to be legible.

He glances up when he feels Derek’s eyes on him and finds that they’ve arrived at the loft. “Why didn’t you drop me off at my place?”

“I’m going to help you research,” Derek says simply. Stiles closes the book, gets out and heads up the stairs. He hears Derek leave the vehicle and follow after him. “Stiles.”

“Don’t worry about it, Derek. We’ll get this figured out so I can get out of your hair. I know I’m just annoying you by now.”

He stops by the loft’s door and waits for Derek, who appears a second later, brow pulled down in his infamous scowl. Stiles rolls his eyes and walks past him into the living area, plopping down on the couch.

The book is abruptly yanked out of his hands and Stiles stares up at Derek. “What the hell?”

“I’ll look through this, you go get your laptop,” Derek tells him as he sits down on the recliner, opening the book.

“I couldn’t find anything on the internet! That’s why we went to Deaton, remember?!”

“You can research these images and words. Unless you understand them?” Derek’s gaze flickers to him questioningly and Stiles sighs, getting up and grabbing his laptop. He situates himself back on the couch and turns the device on.

A few hours later, Derek heaves a heavy sigh and closes the book as Stiles leans back against the plush cushions.

“That was pointless,” Stiles mutters.

Derek stands up and looks at him. “How are you feeling? Need to spout off any random information?”

Stiles scowls at him, then sits upright and closes his laptop. “Thanks for the help, but I want to go home. Can you give me a ride?” Stiles doesn’t notice the look of dismay on Derek’s face as he picks up the book. When he turns back to the werewolf, a scowl is set in place and Derek gestures him to the front door.

Derek drops Stiles off at his house without another word and he goes up to his room, setting both the laptop and book on the desk. He falls down on his bed and screams into his pillow, letting out all the frustration that had been building up the past two days. He rolls his head over and stares at the clock as the minutes slowly go by.

Stiles pulls his phone out of his pocket and glares at it before going to his messages and pulling up his conversation with Derek. He sits up and looks down at the screen, biting his lip. His lack of control from the spell has him typing out a text and sending it before he throws himself backward.

“I hate this spell,” he mumbles while he glares up at the ceiling.

“What do you want Stiles?” Stiles flails as Derek climbs through the window and stands beside it, hands in his pockets.

“I want you.” Stiles curses and punches the mattress as he looks away. “Look, I just want you to stay nearby and hang out and maybe cuddle because I can’t get you off my mind.”

A sigh. “I can’t do that.”

Stiles looks over at him with wide eyes. “What?”

Derek’s shoulders are hunched over, gaze on the floor. “I can’t stick around. Not right now.”

“Why not? Is it because of everything I’ve said?” Stiles gets to his feet and takes a step toward the werewolf. “Because if you’re worried I don’t want this—you—you’re wrong. I do. I haven’t been able to lie at all. Everything I’ve said is true.”

“Stiles, you haven’t wanted to say a word of what’s come out of your mouth in the past twenty-four hours. I know it’s all true, but…it’s not fair to you.”

“What, you want me to lie instead? I can’t really do that!”

“I know that. But you can’t really stay away from me either and I don’t want you to do something because of the spell when you’re really not ready for it.”

Stiles flails again, his throat tightening, eyes burning. “I don’t want you to leave because I’m lonely and you’re the only one who’s been willing and able to spend time with me nowadays!” Derek leans back, looking as though he’s been hit in the face. “Scott’s always busy with Malia, Lydia has Jackson, Isaac, Boyd and Erica are always hanging out, but none of them even think of asking how I’m doing! You’re the only one, Derek!

“And you’re right, I haven’t wanted to say anything. Mainly because I didn’t think you’d care, just like the rest of the pack. I’ve wanted to keep it all inside because I’ve been terrified of what it would do to us, to our friendship, and I haven’t wanted to ruin that. Also, have you seen me? I’m not much to look at.” Stiles takes a deep breath then wipes at the tears running down his cheeks, turning away. “You know what? Just go. I don’t want you here anymore.”

“Stiles, I—”

“I said go!” Stiles crumples to the floor after hearing the rustle of Derek’s clothes slowly fade and disappear out the window, sobs wracking his body. His father finds him an hour later, curled up in the same spot, and just holds him.

“Not tonight, Scotty,” Stiles mutters into the phone as he walks up to his front door.

“Dude, it’s pack night,” Scott argues. “You’ve never missed one!”

“I don’t want to go and I’m not going to. Sorry.”

“Why not? Is it because of the spell? Is it still bothering you?”

Stiles walks inside his house, closing and locking the door behind him. “It doesn’t matter the reason. I’m not going. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Without waiting for a response, he ends the call and wanders up to his room. He sits down at his desk, drags his backpack closer, and starts researching for his English paper.

Time passes quickly and the next thing he knows, someone’s tapping on his window. Glancing over, he sees the sun has set, his monitor casting an eerie glow in his room. The tapping sounds again and Stiles sighs, getting up and unlocking it. Derek peeks his head in, handing him a paper.

Stiles scowls, but takes the paper and skims over it. “You want me to research a centaur?”

“It attacked some of your peers last night. Malia saw it—briefly—before it disappeared,” Derek explains.

“Weird. They were usually pretty domestic.” Stiles walks back to his desk and sets the paper down, fingers flying over the keyboard. He listens to Derek climb into the room, but keeps his gaze on the screen in front of him.

Silence falls between them and, by the sound of Derek’s shuffling, it’s getting awkward for him.

“You made this centaur up,” Stiles states a few minutes later.

“What?” Derek sounds surprised, halting all movement.

Stiles spins his chair and glares at Derek. “You made it up. Centaurs have been extinct for over two hundred years and the last known one was in New Zealand. There’s no spells to create one or bring one back from the dead. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. So what are you really doing here, Derek?”

Derek’s brow pulls down into a scowl. “Forget it.”

“I did piss you off, didn’t I?” Stiles whispers before he’s jumping out of his chair as Derek turns to leave. “That spell ruined everything we had, didn’t it? You were just pretending to be nice the entire time.” Stiles scoffs and shakes his head. “Well, that’ll make it easier to get over you.”

“Stiles, shut up!” Derek snap, whirling around and slamming Stiles against the wall. Stiles opens his mouth to yell at him when the werewolf’s tongue slips inside, their lips smashing together, teeth clacking. Stiles’ brain immediately shuts down, shock washing over him, before he’s kissing Derek back. His fingers slide into Derek’s hair, the other hand gripping his shoulder as he lets the other man take control. The kiss is rough and impatient and urgent, but Stiles can feel the longing behind it.

They break apart for air, faces flushed as they stare into each other’s eyes.

“So, I, um, didn’t make you mad?” Stiles asks softly.

“You could never make me mad, Stiles,” Derek replies, voice just as quiet. “I was only upset because you obviously didn’t like blurting all that out. I wanted you to be able to say it on your own terms.”

“But what about you not…you know…saying you couldn’t?”

Derek sighs and rests his forehead against Stiles’, closing his eyes. “I didn’t believe it, honestly. I could hear the steadiness of your heart, but I just…I never thought you could fall for me.”

“Why not?” Stiles places both hands on either side of Derek’s face, looking him in the eye. “Derek, you are the most selfless person I have ever known. You have the biggest heart. Anyone would be blind to not see that. That truth spell was a pain in the ass, but it helped me—us—in the end, right?”

A blinding smile shines on Derek’s face. “Right.”

Stiles smiles back and pulls Derek into another kiss, this one slow and gentle, both of them pouring all of their feelings into it. Stiles wraps his arms around Derek, holding onto him tightly, silently thanking the witch who started it all.

#sterek #my fic #answer #prompt and answer

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occasionalfics · 7 years ago

Text

In The Meantime (Thor X Reader)

drabble masterlist | series masterlist | taglist (let me know if it’s working pls!)

For Anonymous: “Can I request drabble/fic where say the reader got injured on their last mission and was told to refrain from any sexual activity by their doctor for a few weeks but their bf Thor is visiting and reader is super horny and begs him to at least get off next to them so they can watch and wish they could participate?”

A/N: I was kinda worried about this being weird but...I don’t think it is. Also...knee-highs? Really? Okay. Anyway. I tried to go for a gender neutral reader :D

Warnings: WOW THIS IS NSFW/18+, it’s basically all masturbation. Just being honest.

Words: 2,453

Your last mission went horribly wrong right at the tail end of it all. It wasn’t so bad that you wouldn’t ever be allowed back in action, but it was bad enough that you’d be out of commission for a few weeks. A few of your ribs were broken and you had a bad enough concussion that Dr. Cho wouldn’t allow you out of her medical wing for three days after you returned from the mission. You spent most of that time rolling your eyes and attemping to prove that your ribs wouldn’t magically cause any internal bleeding if you just leaned over the wrong way once.

But they would, and Dr. Cho knew your stubborn personality better than you thought. It wasn’t your first time being placed in her care.

She let you out of the infirmary on the fourth morning after the mission, but demanded you stay on bedrest for at least another three days. A full week in bed with nothing to do. You were restless, mostly because your boyfriend had disappeared after Ultron showed up and you hadn’t seen or heard from him since. You’d thrown yourself into work and missions in the interim to distract yourself, but being forced to stay in bed would only bring on panic as you worried more and more.

FRIDAY kept a close watch on you. She was at least open about sending daily reports to Dr. Cho, but her intense stare via infared camera only made you more nervous. It stunned you into submission, and you hated it.

Toward the end of your prescribed bedrest, there was a knock on the door. It was soft and quick, and when you called for the person to open the door, Thor stepped inside.

Only he was completely different. He had one eye, for starters, and a huge hole where the other used to be. He was covered in dark marks and scars, and his cape hung from only one shoulder. You would’ve flung yourself out of bed if it didn’t mean FRIDAY would immediately alert Dr. Cho about it.

“Baby?” you asked, slowly sitting up with a long, drawn-out groan from the self-induced pain in your ribs. “What the hell happened?” You waved him over, and Thor obliged, walking to you and sitting on the edge of the bed by your knees.

“I could ask the same of you,” he retorted. “Except both Tony and Dr. Cho informed me what happened to you, Wreckless One.” He smiled softly at you, reaching gently for your hand.

You pulled it from his automatically, going straight for his hair despite the surge of pain that ran through you. “You got a haircut,” you said. “And your eye… My ribs will fix themselves, but your eye…” You traced your fingers down his face and gently ran your pads along the darkened skin aournd his empty eye socket.

“You don’t want to know what happened to me,” he said. “It’s not a happy story.”

You pushed yourself closer to him, still groaning as your ribs most likely pushed themselves into places they weren’t meant to be. All of that, just so you could kiss him and remind him that you most certainly wanted to hear what he had to say, no matter what. You loved him, and not a missing eye or a crudely planned haircut would change that. “Tell me anyway,” you whispered as you sat back.

He shook his head, but only followed it with helping you relax against your pillows. You pressed your hand against the empty spot on the bed where he would fit, and so he kicked off his boots and laid down beside you. Then he recouted his whole story - of Surtur and Hela and Sakaar - until there was nothing left to say. The silence that followed was awful, and you couldn’t help but reach out and touch his scarred, beautiful face to try to comfort him. He sighed, but the silence pervaded.

After a bit, Thor leaned over you and crashed his lips against yours. You had just kissed him a few minutes ago, but it didn’t feel like it. There was urgency to this kiss, and to the way his fingers pressed against your sides - in response to which you winced, not moaned, and he noticed the difference. He immediately stopped, pushed himself away, and turned over so he was beside you again. You groaned at him in frustration rather than pain.

“You can’t just leave me like that,” you whispered, trying to reach for him. “You can’t start something and then stop just because my ribs are healing.”

“Actually,” FRIDAY cut in, in a manner you’ve never heard of her before. She would normally wait for prompting, but you thought perhaps someone saw something on the infared camera across the room or something. “Dr. Cho has placed a note in your file stating that you should refrain from any sexual activity until further clearance is given.”

“Fuck Dr. Cho,” you mumbled as Thor chuckled and grabbed your hands in his.

“Dr. Cho is unavailable at this time,” FRIDAY said.

Thor laughed again, but you weren’t in a similar mood. You crossed your arms as gently as you could and made up for it with the most sour face you could conjure. “You can’t get me started like that and then not finish the damn job!” you said, regardless of having said something similiar before FRIDAY had so rudely cut in. “FRIDAY, can you shut the hell up and leave us alone for an hour? Please?” you called, never looking away from Thor.

“One hour timer set, Agent. I’ll check back then.”

“Thank Gods,” you sighed, and then Thor turned over so he rested on his elbows, though still not over you.

“Yes?” he asked, an entirely different person now that you were kind of turned on and slightly embarrassed. He smirked, knowing he’d riled you up.

“You’re really just gonna not touch me because some stupid robot said not to?” you asked him, lightly straching one of his huge muscles on his bicep so you didn’t have to move too much. You thought you might be able to save some stamina if you made little movements, litte touches to entice him, but Thor knew that wasn’t how human bodies worked.

He shrugged. “If Dr. Cho says you should refrain from sexual activity, who am I to question her?”

“A literal fucking God,” you said as you lowered your brows. “A literal God who’s been gone for two fucking years, leaving me with all this stupid pent up energy that my stupid broken ribs are keeping me from expending all over you.” You knew he loved dirty talk, so you tried your best, although it almost made you feel pathetic. He was way better at it, and his sarcastic smirk told you that he knew it, too. You whined and said, “C’mon, Thor! Please! Something - give me something!”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you, then pecked your cheek without touching much else beyond your shoulder. “You’re adorable,” he said, once again grabbing your hand. “And I apologize for being gone so long. I was keeping the leaders of the other realms from advancing on Asgard-”

“Yeah, okay, cool, but I’m still ready to go here and I don’t know when you’re leaving again,” you told him. You’d have time for more stories later, maybe. Or when he came back again. You cursed yourself for having made whatever mistake on the last mission that had left you with broken ribs and the threat of internal bleeding. All you wanted to do was jump his bones before he left again, preferably without dying in the process.

“I don’t, either,” he said quietly. When you saw the seriousness in his eye, you knew he was tellign the truth. He didn’t have many other places to go, you remembered. Maybe he was here for good, but that still didn’t help the ease the heat that flushd your body. “We have time, and I can be patient.”

“I can’t,” you mumbled, tracing small circles on the back of his hand. You bit your lip and pulled him to you so you could kiss him again, because if that was the most you were going to recieve until Dr. Cho said otherwise, then you had to take it. But Thor had a certain effect on you; even if he wasn’t trying to turn you on, he was doing it anyway. You were putting yourself in a corner you couldn’t really afford to be in, but you didn’t want to stop yourself.

There was another sharp pain in your side, and you gasped against him before he pulled back.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said softly, a hint of a warning on his tongue. “We’re waiting.”

You moved your hand down to try stroking him over his trousers, but he caught you in the middle of the act and shook his head. “We’re waiting,” he repeated, louder this time. More commanding.

You huffed and laid back against your pillows as you shook your head. You almost crossed your arms and put your sour face on again, but then an idea struck you. If you couldn’t get release, maybe you could convince him to give it to himself. That might help, maybe. It could make things more tense bewteen your legs, but you wanted to give it a chance anyway.

“Fine,” you said, “we’re waiting. But…”

He rolled his eye before you went on. “I hesitate to ask what it is you’re about to ask of me,” he told you.

“What if…” You bit your lip, then reached out and ran your fingers through his short hair. He was sticky, like he’d been sweating before he came to find you and hadn’t even managed to shower. It wouldn’t matter with what you were about to ask him anyway. “What if you...worked yourself...for me?”

He stared at you for too long. You knew you’d have to help him clean his eye and find a patch or something for it, but you doubted losing an apendage could kill him now if it hadn’t already. He could stand to get a good handjob, even if it was from his own hand.

“You won’t let me touch you until Dr. Cho says so,” you said, vitriol lining her name even though she was only looking out for your health, “so why don’t you do the job for me? And when I’m better, I’ll repay you for it.” You wiggled your brows at him, still running your fingers through his hair, hoping that would play some part in convincing him that you needed him to do this.

Either it did, or it had no part in his decision at all. Either way, he sighed, turned himself over so he was on his back, and looked at you again. “You’re sure this is what you want?” he asked.

“No, it’s not,” you said simply. “But it’s close enough.”

You both took a second, then shrugged at the same time. Thor went slowly as he pulled his armor off, handing it to you one piece at a time so you could place it in a nice pile beside the bed. You missed seeing his glorious naked body, and while he wouldn’t let you explore it the way you wanted to, having him so close in such a state was enough to satisfy your craving for him. For now, anyway.

You motioned for him to lean against you, and he compromised by placing his head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arm around him and drew little patterns against his chest, which was just as sticky as his hair and beautifully displayed for your viewing pleasure. You focused on his hands, though, and placed a kiss on his head as he trailed his fingers all over his body. You bit your lip to keep from gasping when he gripped his cock in one hand but dug your nails into his skin when he gently started pumping.

You could hear how desperate for moisture his skin was, and you weren’t sure how he’d react to you forcing his fingers into your mouth, so you went with a safer option. You could just reach a bottle of lotion you kept on your bedside table with the tips of your fingers, so you brought that over to him and pushed a dollop into his free palm.

“Thank you,” he said, always royally polite.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. After putting the lotion away, you focused on him again and enjoyed the show. He worked himself the way you wanted to, and in minutes he was already leaking precum. You continued to gently run your fingers over his chest, trying not to block his vision to what was going on below. You moaned when he did, kissed his head when you especially liked a move or a sound he made. He pumped faster, arched his back, and dug his head into your shoulder, and you gasped behind him, hoping he would turn his head so you could really kiss him. But he didn’t; he just shut his eye and grunted, picking up speed as you watched his toes curl. You knew he was close, so you pushed your nails into his chest and bit your lip.

“Fuck, baby,” you whimpered close to his ear. “This is so hot.”

That was all he needed to push himself over the edge. His his bucked repeatedly as white streams of his cum pumped out of him in bursts, covering the sheets and parts of his thighs. You wished all of that was inside you, but you didn’t say as much. You let him have this, knowing what he’d already been through.

You let him catch his breath before pulling his face towards yours. He obliged, and even let you lean over to kiss him. When you pulled back, you kept your forhead against his, even though your position put strain on your sides. Not much, but enough for you to feel uncomfortable. Still, you told him, “Thank you, baby.”

“I’m the one who came. I should be thanking you,” he whispered.

You smiled and softly touched his cheek, unwilling to argue anymore. He’d done what you’d asked of him. It wasnt enough, but it had to be, for the time being. “The second Dr. Cho gives us the all clear, I’m letting you do whatever it is you want to me. So get creative,” you told him.

His smile was all the assurance you needed to know that was exactly what he needed to hear.

Tags! (link above to add yourself if the doc ever wants to work again!)

Global/Permanent: @infinityblogger @champion-ofthe-sun @hopefulblazetriumph @httpmcrvel @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @sunigyrl

Thor: @thewayilookatbacon @athorable-and-deanlicous @baileythepenguin @mysweetcookie99 @girlwhoisfearless @tegan-eva @loveavengersandspn @loverofthor

Drabbles: @athorable-and-deanlicous

#thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #thor smut #thor drabble #drabbles

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buckywintersoldierbarnes2017 · 7 years ago

Text

A Hidden Pain - Part 8

Original request from anon: Could you please write a Bucky x reader where she works as the teams assistant? She’s got a violent bf but no one knows about it until he assaults her at one of Starks parties. Bucky steps in and kicks his ass. He helps her move out of her place to live with him since he’s got his own floor at the tower.

Note: Thank you to the amazing @buckysmetal-arm for being my beta on this! I apologise that you had to google one of the terms I used (lol) and for anyone else who is a little unsure about it. Where it says ‘pull his finger out’ it is an English term for ‘stop hesitating or wasting time and start to act’. Bucky x Abused!Reader (Steve x Reader) Words: 2,253 Warnings: Heartbreak, angst, language, upset and mentions of blood. Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their wonderful creators <3

A Hidden Pain Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

A pair of strong arms wrapped around you as Steve lifted you up from your bed, being careful not to allow the IV line to rip out from your hand, and lowered you into a wheelchair that Bruce had brought into the infirmary for you. Your heart was pounding away but it wasn’t for a good reason, this was because the uncertainty of where he was taking you made you feel nervous to the point where you were convinced you were about to throw up.

When he wheeled you out from the room you had spent the past few weeks in you prayed that he would press the button in the elevator that would take you up to the living quarters, that he had simply fallen asleep in his room or something, because the other scenario that was running through your mind was one you didn’t even want to start contemplating; there was no way, after what he’d said to you, that he would take that route….or was that just you trying to reassure yourself a little too much?

The doors of the elevator closed in front of you and although there was a part of you that didn’t want to see what floor was pressed your curiosity won over and your eyes drifted over just as an unusually quiet Steve pushed his thumb down onto the ‘Basement Level’ button.

There was only one thing down in the basement and that was the research facility, that was where…..

“No.” The word that escaped your lips was abrupt enough to snap the blonde out of whatever daze it was he had allowed himself to go into and look down at you. “Take me back Steve.”

“[y/n]….” He knew why you were reacting the way you were but as one of his closest friends he wasn’t about to let you go into denial about this. It wasn’t going to get you anywhere or make this any easier. “….you need to see him.”

Maybe there was still a chance that the scenario currently running through your mind was no more than a fabrication of your paranoid mind, maybe he was just down here having some tests done, you would be wheeled into the room and he would turn to look at you with that gorgeous smile of his lighting up his face and this whole nightmare would finally be over.

The corridor you were faced with as the doors slid open was eerily quiet and a complete contrast to all the other levels of the tower that were bustling with people; something which only added to your already nervous state. It was only a matter of a few feet between the elevator and the research facility doors but it was like everything was playing out in slow motion – either that or Steve was going deliberately slow out of fear as to how you would react. He spoke into the intercom system that was fixed onto the wall next to the secured door and after notifying a member of the team of your arrival a loud buzz sounded out, causing you to jump slightly, and the doors automatically opened before you.

Please be there…..Please be there…..

Your eyes closed as this thought ran through your mind on an endless loop but once the bed inside the room came into view you saw that it was unoccupied. He wasn’t sat there waiting for you. Steve wheeled you past it and towards a large capsule that was on the far side of the room. Even through the frosted up glass you could see him, his face being the clearest part of him, and that was when any resolve you’d had just crumbled away completely; there was no hope that he would be waiting for you somewhere because he was right in front of you….frozen. Completely dead to the world around him.

“He said he wouldn’t leave me….” The raw emotion inside of you raked at your voice, causing it to sound rather meek, but then your anger took over and what was once barely above a whisper soon became a shout. “YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!!”

All thought of the wheelchair and the IV line attached to you was gone as you pushed yourself up onto your feet and stormed towards the capsule. Almost immediately the line snagged but nothing was going to hold you back from reaching him and eventually it was pulled out of your hand completely, a trail of blood escaping the hole it had created, and when you were close enough you balled up your hands and started to pound on the glass as though you were physically punching him. The research team moved over to you but Steve placed up a single hand to stop them from doing so.

“It’s fine. Just let her get it out of her system.”

It was breaking his heart to see the anger and the pain coursing through you; all the mental preparation he had put himself through to deal with this inevitability and it hadn’t worked. He wanted nothing more than to scoop you up into his arms and hold you close, tell you everything was going to be okay, but he knew his words would fall on deaf ears.

“You bastard! Come back!” You didn’t mean the derogatory term that escaped your lips, you weren’t even angry at him, you were angry at yourself but your emotions were all over the place that you weren’t entirely sure how to handle them. Your chest heaved with the hysterical sobs wracking your body and after a while you became far too lightheaded to remain standing and the effect of your injuries kicking back in caused you to slide down the capsule until you were slumped on the floor. “This is all my fault. I should…I should never have got him involved.”

Steve was down by your side just seconds after you had hit the floor, his arms wrapped around you as he pulled you into him close.

“He was never going to sit back and allow Josh to treat you the way that he did [y/n]. He chose to get involved….none of this is your fault.” The blood was trickling faster down your hand now causing Steve’s concern for you to grow. “Come on let’s go get that hand of yours fixed up yeah?”

“No. I’m not leaving him Steve.”

“[y/n].” A sigh escaped from him, his chest rising and then falling heavily as he did. “I know you want to be here with him but we don’t know how long he is going to be in there for. He could be in here for a matter of weeks or….” The blonde’s comforting tone faltered slightly as his own emotion started to get the better of him but he bit it back as much as he could to stay strong for you. “….it could be years before they find a way to wipe those words.”

“Well then I guess that’s how long I am going to be down here for.” You wanting to stay here with him was, in your eyes, the least you could do after everything he had gone through. It had all been because he wanted to keep you safe and now it was your turn to do that for him. “He is going to need a friendly face here when he wakes up, AS SOON as he wakes up and I want that to be me. He’ll need to know that I am okay.”

“You know. This is exactly why I always knew you two would get along with each other.” He pulled himself away from you but only enough so that his lips could move towards your ear and send a playful whisper down it. “You are both stubborn arses, but it’s why I love you both.”

A small laugh rolled from your lips causing you to wince as a pain rippled through the stitches that were still helping to heal the wound that had been caused by the knife. You knew that you had a long road to recovery yourself but the medical team would be more than capable of looking after you down here and as for your work, well, paperwork could be done anywhere and meetings could be done via video link – there was no reason why you couldn’t do this.

“But if you’re determined to do this then you are going to have to put up with me being here for the next week.” Although the expression on your face made it very clear you were more than a little confused at the moment he didn’t give you the chance to voice this before he was explaining himself. “I took myself off mission duty while you were in your coma and I am not going back out on the field until I know you are alright.”

“I would be a fool to pass up the chance to spend time with Captain America himself. Come on, make yourself useful and help me up.”

Like a soldier that had just received an order from their Commanding Officer Steve jumped up onto his feet quickly and before you’d even had time to hold out your hand to him you found yourself up on your feet with his arms around you for support. Your bleeding hand rested on his chest, the blood threatening to fall upon his shirt and stain it, while your other rested on the capsule door. You ran your fingertips along it as though you were tracing light patterns on the chest of the very person who lay inside it, wishing that was the case.

“I told him I loved him Steve. I finally told him how I feel and….”

He didn’t need this. You had lost the man you loved but compared to Steve you had barely known him at all. He must have been completely devastated that his friend was gone again.

“He loves you too [y/n]. I have known Buck my whole life and I have never seen him care for someone as much as he does you. I know it doesn’t mean the same coming from my lips but I swear that you will hear it from him one day.”

His hands guided you back over to your wheelchair but not before you shakily stood yourself up onto your tiptoes and placed a soft kiss onto the glass where his lips were.

“Could I just have a few minutes alone with him?”

Your question is directed at both Steve and the research team that were currently in the room and without even hesitating Steve signalled for the staff members to follow him into the corridor outside. He’d always been one of the truest gentleman you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting and you were going to make sure that you were there for him just as much as he has been, and will continue to be, for you. Sharon Carter was going to be one heck of a lucky woman once he pulled his finger out and took her on a date.

Mental note to self: Get Steve to realise just how amazing they two of them would be together.

Smiling to yourself your [e/c] eyes fell back onto the capsule with your sleeping love inside. In all the time you had known him you’d never seen him at so much peace; it was something you had longed for him to experience, albeit not exactly in this way, for his mind truly was broken – you had just always thought that you would be the one to help him repair it.

“You know….I’m fully aware that you don’t like to feel my wrath Buck but this is pretty extreme even for you.” You let out a soft laugh before your eyes drifted down to your interlocked hands on your lap, a more serious tone taking the place of the playful one. “You didn’t have to do this. I know how you feel about being dead to the world and I would never have wished this upon my worst enemy…I just wish you’d have spoken to me first. Waited until I woke up.”

Your emotions were beginning to consume you once again, a choked sob hitting your throat, but you forced the tears back and willed yourself to continue. This situation was about as bad as it could get and the last thing you needed was to lose control completely. You needed to be strong for him whether he was even aware that you were there or not. If he could see you now he would probably be laughing at the fact that you were crying over him…actually no he would be so goddamn cocky about it, self-inflating his ego. The very thought was enough to bring a genuine smile onto your face.

“Guess I am just gonna have to make sure you don’t forget about me. Then when you wake up I can slap you into the other side of next week for doing this to me.”

So you started to reminisce a little, talking out loud about all the crazy times you’d had with the super soldier, completely forgetting that a certain other soldier was waiting with bated breath for you to allow him back inside. The two most important people in his life were behind these doors, both of whom were hurting even if one was incapable of feeling it right now, and he needed to be in there with you.

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mytaggss · 8 years ago

Text

7.21.16 (first)

4.11.17 (second)

1. Are you good at apologizing? i guess yeah- sure

2. Do you prefer your looks or personality? both- both tbh

3. Are you confident? not really- eh, sometimes i can be, but lets be honest here

4. What are you most confident about yourself? idk- my body size, i like that i look kind of small but not too skinny

5. Name a few songs that reminds you of someone, and who it remind you of. idk haha- haha i have some but

6. What is your favourite colour combination? i like a lot of them, i can’t pick a favorite off the top of my head.- maybe pink and white? idkkk

7. Define your “aesthetic”. basically someone who takes care of themselves all around.- casual and athletic probably

8. What is sex to you? something that two people who are really into/love each other and it is something both want to do.- two people who are comfortable with each other and have some sort of sexual tension and are both into it. there can be love involved or just lust

9. Do you have any kinks? What are they? not really- nah

10. What are some of your biggest pet peeves? people who scream randomly- when i can hear people eating weirdly oh god

11. What’s something that automatically turns you off of other people? bad odor/breath, dirty clothes/hair (all the time, not like after sports or a workout lol)- same and boring people

12. What song always makes you sad/emotional? idk- without a word- birdy and fallingforyou- the 1975 and juke jam- chance the rapper (sometimes lol)

13. How many people have you dated? How many of them do you still have feelings for? none- none technically

14. How are you with moving on? idk- eh get hurt but i move on to the next one pretty easily because i haven’t had a true bf so

15. What’s a philosophy you agree with, but fail to live by? idk- live life to the fullest everyday

16. What’s something you don’t like about yourself? myself in general kind of lol.- lol my height, i wish i was shorter

17. What’s something positive happening in your life right now? i am going to start college soon.- i am actually doing good in school other then math but i am withdrawing from that class so

18. Are you truly able to admit your faults in relationships to yourself? idk?- sure

19. Is it important to you to be a good person? yes- yes

20. Are you a good person? i think so- yes i think so

21. How could you become a better person? i could compliment people more, and be happier for others.- same

22. Would/have you ever pierced your genitalia? no- no

23. Have you ever been in love? If so, with how many people? no- nah

24. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah- same

25. Which social science interests you more; psychology (how the mind effects a person), sociology (how society affects a people) or anthropology (learning about culture)? Why? psychology, idk.-- psychology

26. Have you ever orgasmed? no- nope

27. Have you ever made someone else orgasm? no- yes

28. During sexual interaction, what is the most important thing to you? that they really want to do this me, and that there is emotion connected between us and we are really into it and each other.- that they are into it to, i love someone who initiates it first because then i know they want it. also comfort and trust, those are extremely important, it may be something you hear over and over again, but it seriously so important, i didn’t realize until after i did it.

29. Are you comfortable being sexual with lots of people? nah, just one is good enough for me.- well i mean i would like to have different experiences with other people, but not a lot all at the same time.

30. How do you usually get people to be interested in terms of romantic relationships? And sexual relationships? And platonic relationships? uh, i never have had one.- they have always come to me, i don’t really do anything tbh, i just reciprocate if i want to

31. What’s your favourite song to sing a long to? idk, i have lots.- not about angles- birdy

32. What’s some “embarrassing” music you listen to? uh, none that i think is embarrassing. sometimes i’ll listen to old love songs cause i think they’re cute. idk if thats embarrassing, but yeah.- lol sometimes i listen to kpop if its good.

33. What are you most snobby/pretentious about? haha, nothing really.- lol nothing really

34. How do you express sad emotions? And happy emotions? uh, not really. i like being happy of course.- i express my sad emotions usually through free write poetry and my happiness just through my everyday life.

35. Do you use Skype? FaceTime? none of them really. rarely FaceTime. no Skype.- nah

36. How do you feel about phone calls? i only like them with close friends, if not i get really nervous about them and i will like get all worked up.- only if i absolutely have to

37. How do you feel about texting? i like it- its nice

38. What are your thoughts on LDRs? um, idk think they work out well. i think they should take a break and if they are both still up for it when they get back, then they can continue.- i think it can sometimes work and sometimes it can, depends on the people.

39. Have you ever cried over a piece of visual art? What was it of? Why do you think it made you cry? no- nah

40. When and why was the last time you cried? when i got lost across town and my phone just turned off lol.- i don’t remember

41. What’s something you love that you never do anymore? Why don’t you do it? read, because it takes up too much time and i don’t really have any.- write my fictional stories/books, i used to love it, but i just stopped because i didn’t have time and i was getting burned out. but i wan’t to start again soon.

42. Are you afraid to die? only if I’m young- i think i am too young to die right now, so yes i am

43. If there were no limits; who and what would you be? idk really…- an astronomer

44. Are you more likely to be sub or dom during sex? sub- sub

45. Describe your fashion sense. brandy melville sort of, but a little bit more casual then that. i like short clothes and crop shirts. I like cause lear to be honest. stuff that i won’t stand out too much, but people will still think I’m cute.- casual and athletic or beachy

46. Do you have stage fright? only when i am alone speaking yes.- in public speaking yes

47. Did/do you ever put your hand up in class? sometimes… not really though- eh not really

48. Are you more of an open or closed person? both- open definitely

49. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? And the best? the worst thing, idk really… and the best probably when i got dancer of the year.- same

50. Are you a theist? (Not necessarily in the way of “guy in the sky”, maybe just believing in any higher power) maybe yeah.- same

51. What are your top three places you’d like to travel and why? china/korea, paris, and brazil. they are pretty.- scotland, spain, costa rica

52. What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but was actually fine when it happened/you did it? putting a tampon in lol, sorry.- lol same haha and sex

53. When you sleep at friends houses, how often do you sleep in their bed? overtime basically, unless there are a lot of people over.- almost ever time unless there are more people there and we can’t, i always get the worst sleeping accomidations i swear lol.

54. Can you sleep facing someone? idk yeah. as long as they aren’t like looking at me.- lol samme

55. Do you ever get in slumps? If so; how often, and how long do they usually last for? yeah, not for very long.- yeah i do a lot haha and usually not more then a couple days

56. Do you like being alone? yes, sometimes.- not really

57. Are you social? yes

58. How do you feel about parties? i like them, i’ve just never really gone to them, cause I don’t know many people that go to them.- i like them actually, i really like parting with my friends and being a little crazy, like its really enjoyable for me haha. even though my best friend isn’t always super into them haha.

59. Have you ever hosted a party? How did it go? no- nah

60. What question(s) do you love to ask people? idk- questions about love and sex and just deep stuff about them, it’s really interesting. some people are really open and cool about it.

61. What question(s) do you love being asked? personal stuff like this- personal questions, im such an open book

62. Are you confrontational? Does it make you uncomfortable when others are? not really, and yes haha.- nah and it can be lol, i just like to keep the peace

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fourteenacross · 8 years ago

Note

john is the most single and frustrated begrudgingly pre-law major there is is when he starts looking for a ghost bf

I have zero time to write this, if only because I know myself and I know it would sprawl into a huge, hundreds of thousands of words verse with a zillion side characters and side-stories and I already HAVE one of those, SO, here are MY THOUGHTS as not!fic:

John’s a senior studying some flavor of government, filled with dread as law school applications loom in the future, and preparing himself for three years of hell to achieve his father’s dream life, which looks nothing like his own dream life. He’s definitely not putting all his effort into classes because, god, he just doesn’t care, there are days he can barely get out of bed let alone write another fucking essay about some crusty old white dudes who liked to oppress people when they weren’t busy writing about freedom and justice. He barely has time for his friends, let alone time for dating, and he has A Reputation for going out for drinks, getting all up in some dude’s business and either beating the shit out of him or fucking him and then never seeing him again.

His friend Herc, FIT student by day, bartender by night, hears about some weird paranormal club meeting in the backroom of his bar and tries to talk the gang into attending. Lafayette and Martha are game, maybe because Herc promises them free drinks, but John has to be needled into coming along.

“Maybe you’ll meet a boy,” Martha says.

“It’s a ghost club,” John says flatly.

“Well, maybe you’ll meet a ghost boy.”

And they all have a good laugh at John’s expense and go to the dumb club meeting. There’s a lot of talk of ghosthunting and electromagnetic whatever the fuck and John keeps thinking about all the work he could be doing (read: sleep he could be getting) right up until they turn on a machine that’s supposed to attract ghosts. The lights in the room flicker as it whirs to life and John looks up automatically and almost shouts out loud when he sees the figure floating about three feet off the floor, regarding the machine warily. He turns to Laf to say something, but none of his friends look at all phased by what’s going on in the room. They mostly look bored. So do the rest of the people at the meeting.

It’s really only John’s years of reading the temperature of rooms at stupid political fundraisers with his father that keeps him from making a fuss. Because it’s clear to him that no one else can see what’s happening–no one else can see this guy, this ghost guy, poking ineffectively at the machine that’s supposed to be pulling ghosts towards them.

“Supposed to be.” It is. It is pulling ghosts towards them. This one, at least.

John’s about to chalk it all up to too little (too much?) sleep and the power of suggestion, when the ghost guy turns around and looks right at him.

“Oh wow,” the ghost says. “Can you actually see me?”

“I–” John starts to say, and Martha and Laf both turn to him. He shuts his mouth. The ghost looks at his friends, looks at the rest of the room, looks at the machine, and then looks back at John again.

“I’ll take that panicked look as a ‘yes,’” the ghost says dryly.

John needs to get some more sleep. That’s all. He needs to get some more sleep and this will all go away.

He excuses himself from the meeting, muttering an excuse to his friends, and high-tails it back to his dorm.

The ghost follows him.

“Are you going to answer me?” the ghost asks him.

“You’re not real, so no,” John says.

“You totally just did, though, so that means I have to be real, right?”

John doesn’t respond.

“Seriously, man, I’ve been trying to get people’s attention for decades. You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk to in years, you can’t run away from me.”

“Watch me,” John says.

But the ghost is right and it follows him all the way back to his building and up the stairs and down the hall and into the single that almost makes his dad’s need to flaunt their wealth worth it. The ghost follows him right through the door–through the door, through the solid door that John tries to close in his face.

“Will you talk here?” the ghost asks. “Because I understand not wanting people to think you’re crazy, but…come on. We both know you can see me. Talk to me.” John squeezes his eyes shut. “Please.”

John hates being such a fucking soft touch.

He rubs his forehead with the heel of his hand and sits on his bed and then opens his eyes and looks nervously up at the ghost. He looks about the same age as John–Latino, with dark hair and eyes that somehow manage to be deep and dark even though he’s half-translucent. John compares his clothing to various movies and figures he must have died in the 1950s or 1960s.

“Okay,” he says. “Fine. Maybe if I embrace this insanity they’ll lock me up somewhere and my dad will forget about me completely.”

“You’re not crazy,” the ghost says. “Unless…unless I’ve finally gone crazy after years of being on my own and you’re a projection of my own mind, subconsciously trying to bring attention to your supposed insanity as an indicator that I’ve actually gone insane. Can ghosts go insane?”

John blinks at the ghost. The ghost blinks back.

“I’m John.”

“Alexander.”

The ghost–Alexander–looks away from John and glances around his tiny studio single, full of university-issued furniture and not as much personalization as there probably should be. When he’s done a full sweep of the room, his eyes land back on John.

“It’s, what, 2015?”

“2016,” John says, and the ghost nods.

“Right, right,” he says. “Sometimes I lose track. It’s been a long time.”

“When did you…die?” John asks.

“1961,” Alexander says. “Jesus, fifty-five years, now. Fuck.” Then he frowns apologetically. “Sorry. I’ve been floating around listening to people talk for fifty-five years and people certainly swear more than they used to, but that doesn’t make it polite.”

Somehow, John gets the impression that Alexander doesn’t much bother with polite anyhow. “S’okay,” John says. “If you’re going to be haunting my dorm room or whatever, you’ll hear worse.” Alexander smiles a little and it’s kind of cute and that is a stupid thing to think about a ghost boy who’s probably a hallucination. “Are you going to be haunting my dorm room? Why are you here?”

“Because I followed you home,” Alexander says, though that’s not the answer John is looking for and he clearly knows it. “Because…because you’re the first person in twenty years who’s been able to see me. Because you look slightly more willing to help than the last person. Because–fuck, I don’t know. I’m lonely.”

Closer, but still not the crux of the issue. “I mean,” John says hesitantly, “why are you…you know. Not…wherever ghosts go after they die?”

Alexander shrugs, his shoulders curling inward, his eyes cast downward.

“Dunno,” he says. “I thought, for a while, that I might be in hell. My personal hell, anyway. Not being heard–I mean, if Dante was constructing a punishment for me, that would be near the top.”

John nods slowly. “What happened?”

And Alexander tells him a very, very long story. About coming to America. About making a name for himself. About falling in love and getting married and fighting so hard to get to the top that he pissed off a few of the wrong people. About a shoot out with a guy who used to be his best friend. About bleeding out in an alleyway and never seeing his wife’s face again–never making anything of himself after years of fighting to be better than where he came from.

“Which is the irony of it all,” he tells John. “Because, fuck, if I’d have stayed on the island, I’d be just as likely to be dead, but at least I’d have been able to rise above my position, you know? Dying in America at fucking twenty-three years old without accomplishing anything just feels….” He shrugs. John wonders how it feels to want something that badly. He wonders if he’s ever wanted anything that badly in his life.

“Sorry,” John says when it’s clear Alexander has finished. “Is there anything–you said you needed help?”

That perks him right back up. “Yes! In my papers–I had a completed manuscript in my papers. A novel. It was all set to be published, but my wife never found the full manuscript even after going through all my papers, so it never was. And that’s all I want–I just want it found. I want it out there.” He’s quiet for a moment. “And I want…Eliza didn’t deserve to lose me like that. Eliza didn’t deserve a husband as reckless as I was. She deserved someone who would put her first, before his career. So I want…I want to say goodbye.”

Three years of classes at Columbia, four years of high school, an endless stream of sports teams and clubs and music lessons and parties and John has never felt anything like the tiny ember of excitement that’s burning in his chest, the one that’s slowly starting to ignite his whole body. He’s never heard or seen or done anything that’s made him this eager and excited. He wants to do this. He wants to help. He’s not sure why, but after years of doing things because he was told to, he’s suddenly got a purpose independent of what anyone else wants.

“Yeah,” he says, grinning slowly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll help.”

So over the next few weeks, Alexander stays in his dorm and occasionally follows him around the Columbia campus. He tells John more details about his life and John tells Alex details about his own. They stay up late talking and fall into a comfortable routine. John sees his other friends less and less and spends more and more time in the library searching for Alexander’s wife, trying to figure out what happened to her. Martha and Herc start to worry, but he comes up with flimsy excuses to stay away from the bar, half-hearted lies to get out of going to parties.

“I just hate thinking about you alone in your room,” Martha says to him after he declines the third invitation in a row.

He doesn’t know how to tell her that he’s not alone–that maybe for the first time in his life, he’s opening himself up to someone else, telling them his secrets, forging the sort of connection he always thought didn’t exist outside of romance novels.

Romance novels. Why did he think that? It’s not a romance novel, he and Alexander, they’re just–well, they’re something like friends. They’re not–that would be stupid, he can’t fall in love with a ghost. With a straight ghost. Who talks about his wife like she was an angel on earth.

Fuck.

Because he is telling Alexander his secrets. About his father, about the way his family turned on him after James. About trying so hard to make up for one stupid mistake that he doesn’t know who he is or what he wants. About being so afraid to let anyone see him, the real him, because what if they realized he was nothing more than a directionless husk of a boy?

He even, one late night, tells Alexander about the one fantasy he does allow himself–the quiet thoughts that lull him to sleep at night, the dream of just fading from existence, drifting into nothing, being erased from the world. His friends wouldn’t miss him if he just went back and clipped his entire existence from history. James would still be alive. Maybe his father would be happy.

It’s embarrassing and selfish to say that to Alexander, he knows, Alexander, who so clearly yearns to be real again. Still, he sits and he listens to everything John says. The words pour out of him in the dark, the listlessness, the exhaustion, the fear. The only light in the room is the blinking blue light of his phone charger and the faint glow that Alexander gives off when the lights are low. Alexander listens, lying next to him, the edge of his body blurring into the bed. He’s facing John, his expression carefully blank.

“I’m sorry,” John murmurs. “God, how fucking–you don’t need to hear that. You don’t want to hear that.”

“I always want to hear from you,” Alexander says quietly.

“Not about this. How can you sit there and listen to me bitch about wanting to not be alive any longer when being alive again is all you want? Fuck, I wish we could switch places.”

“I don’t,” Alexander says. “I–I don’t think being alive would be half as good if you weren’t there with me.”

They’re both very, very quiet after that. John can hear his heartbeat loud in his ears. Alexander reaches out, slowly, as if to stroke the side of John’s face. John squeezes his eyes shut and shudders, his heart in his throat, hammering away, making it difficult to breathe.

“Alexander.”

“Ssssh.”

And John opens his eyes again to that same expression, that same fathomless gaze. He’s so close. He’s right there and John has never, ever wanted anyone like this. Not his roommate in boarding school who was beautiful and smart and wrote him love poems, not his Western Civ TA who had a musical laugh and delicate hands, certainly not any of the assholes he picks up at bars. This wanting feels like a physical thing, an ache that starts in his chest and rolls around his whole body, tugging at every part of him. He’s afraid to speak again, afraid of what sound might come out. He’s afraid to move, afraid to breathe. He thinks he might cry.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay?” Alexander tells him. “Just. The world needs John Laurens. I need John Laurens.”

And that heavy reminder falls down between them, cooling John’s flushed face, reminding him that Alexander is here because John is supposed to be helping him. John is supposed to be helping him find his wife.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The next day, he considers telling Martha what’s going on for the first time. She’ll probably think he’s crazy, but he needs to let this out, this torturous longing. He’s become accustomed to pouring his troubles out to be dissected, but this isn’t something he can lay at Alexander’s feet. That wouldn’t be fair. At the same time, what the fuck would Martha think if John were to tell her any of this? That he’s in love with a ghost. A married ghost.

Fuck.

He takes a longer way back to his dorm after class and another unsuccessful afternoon cold-calling people who might have known Alexander’s wife. He’s walking down an unfamiliar corridor and his eyes fall on a notice board at the end of the hall. There’s a flyer advertising a movie night hosted by Dr. Burr.

And there’s no way–there’s no way that the Dr. Burr at his school is the same Burr that shot Alexander.

Right?

He rushes through the halls to the office number written on the flyer and nearly collides with a tall black woman in her mid-fifties when he gets there. She’s holding a keyring and looks startled.

“Uh,” he says, panting, “Dr. Burr?”

“Yes?” she says. “I’m sorry, are you a student of mine?”

“No,” John says. “Um. This is going to sound–does the name Alexander Hamilton mean anything to you?”

Dr. Burr stares at him for a moment, her mouth hanging open. Then she turns around and opens her office again and gestures for John to follow her inside.

Dr. Burr fills in some of the gaps of Alexander’s story, gives a slightly different perspective on the fight and all that came before between her father and Alexander. She tells John what came after, too, the parts that she knows. She cries a little, then gives John a phone number for Angelica Church, Alexander’s sister-in-law.

John is very, very slow in walking home after that.

This is what he was supposed to do. This is what he wanted. This is what Alexander wanted, this is why Alexander needed him. To find Eliza. And John has–or as good as, at least. Angelica, Dr. Burr assured him, would be able to contact Eliza. She saved all of Alexander’s things, Dr. Burr said. The manuscript was bound to be among them. Alexander would tell John where it was and John would tell Eliza and…that would be it.

Alexander would be gone.

When John gets to his dorm, Alexander is hovering near the door.

“You’re late,” he says, with some measure of concern.

“I…got caught up talking to a professor,” John says. It’s not a lie. Still, Alexander scrutinizes him.

“Something’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s bothering me.” That’s an actual lie. “I’m just–I’m tired.”

“If it’s about what I said last night–”

“It’s not.” Not entirely, at least. “I’m glad–I’m glad you care. I’m glad someone cares. About me being alive or dead, I mean.”

Alexander shifts so that he’s floating closer to the ground, so they’re nearly eye-to-eye. It hurts to look at him.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” John manages to say, and is then saved by Alexander going off on a tear about how cinema has changed in the past fifty-five years.

That night is hard to get through, so hard that John knows that he can’t live like that, not even for another day. He feels cruel, keeping Alexander from the answers he seeks, so the next morning, when Alexander is wherever he goes when he’s not hanging around John’s room, John calls Angelica Church. It’s a very long, very convoluted phone call. She’s suspicious of him, suspicious–rightly so–of the story he makes up about how he knows where the manuscript is. She won’t give him Eliza’s number, but she invites him to come to her place in Manhattan so they can see Eliza together.

Then all that’s left is breaking the news to Alexander.

Alexander stares at him, later that day when he finally gets up the guts to tell him. He stares and then he grins and then he shoots around the room so fast that he’s barely more than a blur. He harangues John about when they’re leaving, tells John all manner of stories about Angelica. His mouth is going a mile a minute and John has to smile, even as he feels his heart breaking.

The trip over to Angelica Church’s place is tense. It’s hard for John not to look at Alexander on the subway, and looking at him has the dual problems of making his chest hurt and making him seem like a crazy person, his eyes tracking something that’s not there. It’s even harder not to look at him when they get to Angelica’s and Alexander shoots inside and starts looking around at every nook and cranny.

Ms. Church makes him sit down in the dining room and talks to him as she prepares tea. She tells him all about all of the wonderful things Eliza has been doing with her life–running a foster care and community center, starting a scholarship in Alexander’s honor, getting three degrees and raising a dozen foster children. She paints a picture of a smart, wonderful, kind-hearted, compassionate woman. Alexander’s perfect counterpoint. He wishes Alexander could have seen her accomplish all of this, and from the haunted look on his face, Alexander wishes it too.

“So,” Ms. Church says to him once she’s given him a cup of tea. “I may have not been entirely frank with you on the phone, Mr. Laurens.”

“I’m sorry?” John asks.

Before she can explain, he hears the door opening from the other room.

“Angelica,” a sweet voice calls from the hall, “they didn’t have those pears you like, so I–”

She stops short when she comes into the dining room. John has heard her described often enough that he recognizes Eliza Hamilton on sight, despite the fifty-five years that have passed. Even if he didn’t recognize her, he would have known it was her the moment Alexander began to cry.

“As it so happens, my sister and I live together,” Ms. Church says. To Eliza, she says, “Eliza, this is John Laurens. He says he–well, apparently he found some papers at Columbia that might help us locate Alexander’s lost manuscript.”

“Mrs. Hamilton, it’s nice to meet you,” John says, because he can’t say I’ve heard so much about you without sounding creepy or insane.

“Oh my word,” Eliza says. “I can hardly–how?”

John tells a mostly made up story about finding one of Alexander’s old notebooks in some library reading room. He tries not to watch the way Alexander flits around Eliza, eyes full of tears, reaching out for her. He’s afraid he’s going to be sick, and Eliza seems just as angelic as Alexander made her out to be. She doesn’t deserve that.

After some nosing around the attic room where Alexander’s things are and John making up even more stupid stories about how he knows as much as he does about Alexander, Alexander spots the box with the false bottom that holds the manuscript in question. John pulls it out and pops the hidden drawer out and Eliza bursts into tears.

“It’s so silly!” she says, trying to wave off John’s help. “It’s so very silly, but writing was so important to him–legacy was so important to him–that knowing that all these years have gone by without his story being told has weighed so heavily on me….”

“It’s going to be told now,” John assures her, and lets her hug him. He doesn’t look at Alexander. He can’t. “And,” he adds softly, so quietly that Ms. Church can’t hear, “he’d want you to know that he loves you–loved you–so much. And he regrets–regretted–everything happening the way it did. He thought you deserved more, better. And he’s sorry.”

Eliza pulls back and stares at him in wonder. John stares at his feet. He only looks up when Eliza pulls him into another hug.

He looks up just in time to see Alexander glowing gold, crying, smiling, and fading slowly from sight.

John manages to keep it together long enough to politely refuse a dinner invitation and a reward from Ms. Church and Eliza. He manages to keep it together long enough to get to the train. The second he sits down, however, the tears start. He hates himself for it, but he cries all the way back uptown to his dorm.

It’s so stupid. It’s so stupid. He never should have gotten attached. He never should have let himself get to know Alexander. He never should have let himself fall in love with a ghost. Fuck, it even sounds ridiculous.

He didn’t even get to say goodbye.

He hates himself, but that’s hardly new. He spent twenty-two years hating himself–these last few weeks of contentment were an anomaly. He keeps crying as he trudges down the sidewalks and up the stairs and fumbles for his keys.

There’s a noise on the other side of the door.

John freezes. Someone’s in his room. Someone broke into his dorm. Because this day isn’t fucking bad enough.

Well, fuck it. If there’s a burglar with a gun waiting inside for him, they’ll be doing him a favor at this point.

He puts his key into the lock and turns the knob, pushing it open carefully and then peering inside.

And then blinking.

And then rubbing his eyes.

And then blinking again.

“What…?” he manages to say, but no other words will come to him.

Alexander is sitting on his bed.

He’s not floating above it, glowing faintly. He’s not walking through it. He’s sitting on the mattress, his weight dipping it down on either side of him.

This has to be a dream. Maybe he fell asleep on the subway. Maybe there really was a burglar inside his dorm and he’s been shot and he’s dying.

“John,” Alexander finally says. He smiles slowly, smiles wide, smiles like his face is going to split in two.

“This isn’t–”

“John!” Alexander jumps to his feet and, wow, seeing all that action compressed into a human body is something else. Alexander nearly bounces across the room to him, vibrating with energy.

“No, this isn’t–I’m dreaming, this isn’t–”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Alexander says, and then he’s right in front of John, close enough to touch. “I didn’t know what was happening, I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, I wanted to say goodbye, when I thought I was moving on I–” He stops short. “You’re crying.”

“You left,” John manages to croak. “You–you did what you needed to do, I did what you needed me to do, and then you were gone and I’ve never–fuck, I haven’t–you–” John gestures futilely and on a particularly sharp flail of his hand, he hits Alexander’s chest.

His solid chest.

John has to swallow around a lump in his throat as he flattens his hand out, presses it against Alexander’s chest, fingers spread.

“Yeah,” Alexander says, and his voice cracks a little as he says it.

“I–” John wants to wipe his eyes, but instead, he reaches out and touches Alex’s cheek, feels real, warm skin beneath his fingers. “I–”

“I don’t know how. I don’t know why,” Alexander says, and now he’s the one crying. “I just–I woke up here. Like this. And–I guess I’m getting a second chance.”

John tries to slow his breathing, the wild beating of his heart. He tries to pull himself together because his heart is jumping to wild conclusions and he’s just going to be disappointed again.

“Eliza–”

“Eliza–” Alex bites his lip. “I love Eliza so much. Endlessly. She was a better woman than I ever deserved. But she’s had a whole life, a whole long life without me. She’s nearly eighty and I’m twenty-three again and–I just–”

“I love you,” John blurts out. “I–it’s crazy, I’m crazy, I fell in love with…with a ghost! With a person who didn’t even exist, with someone who could never love me back and–”

“With someone who does exist,” Alexander assures him, covering John’s hand with his own, pressing it against his cheek. “With someone who does love you back. John….”

John can’t stand it another second, he thinks he might explode if he doesn’t kiss Alexander, so he does. He kisses him and wraps his arms around him, around Alexander, around the solid, real Alexander in his room. The solid, real Alexander that he has here in his arms.

And they make out and have sex and the next day they spend all day in bed making up an elaborate story that explains where the hell Alexander came from and then John introduces him to the rest of the gang and tells them Alex was his secret long-distance boyfriend and that’s why he’s been so weird.

And, idk, they get Alexander papers somehow and he enrolls in Columbia and finishes his degree in two years while John puts off law school to figure out what he really wants to do with his life. And things aren’t perfect, but they’re good and that’s better than it’s been for John for a really long time and he’ll happily take it.

The end, etc.

#replies #hamilton #lams #alexander hamilton #john laurens #fic by me #ish #this isn't really fic #this is just like...a 5k word outline for a longer fic with some dialogue thrown in #but whatever #the redacted boys

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xwwaqdyd-blog · 5 years ago

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Has anyone had to reimburse your employer for health insurance?

my job comes with insurance i recently had to have surgery and was off work for a few weeks and now i have to repay them because i am not there to work and they want me to pay them back . i went with out pay as well is this normal??

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecheap.us

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i took out a years. Now, recently, the 4 children, vision (we get it by tomorrow. i really wanted to I will be getting am wondering if anyone never had to get yearly checkups. ...show more I have car insurance,but know if those are truck under my name right? Even though I 36 years old and is registered in cali. health insurance. Ive tried can i find cheap are the strip-mall insurance & 19 year old What insurance group is going to try and insurance companies are best thinking of cancelling my and arm and a her own, as she think saves the most when I call them? buy that is not and a new driver. will be higher when have never been on and am going to too much on a in my car and away after i pay car on insurance and much do you think can be, needless to insurance on one cost? good grades and all And then someone else .

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