#like how horrifying would it have been
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Fun fact! This was the real tipping point that made Edgeworth run away after AA1, they just couldn't show it on screen because they didn't have the rights to Chappell Roan's music <3
(A spiritual successor to my "Hot to Go" joke from this post. Image description under the cut below)
[Image ID: a four page black and white comic of characters from ace attorney.
The Judge stands solemnly at his podium holding a gavel "Mr. Miles Edgeworth, you are on trial for the murder of blah blah blah..."
A cheerful Maya Fey leans over to Miles Edgeworth, who is staring straight ahead and looking very concerned
Maya: "Psst! Mr. Edgeworth! If you win your trial, can I show you Chappell Roan?
Miles: "What the hell, sure." Internally he thinks "Oh God I am going to jail"
A box saying "later" in the top corner of the next panel marks the passage of time.
The Judge smiles as he says "I declare you... Not Guilty!"
We see a full body shot of Maya dancing excitedly while Miles looks on, emotionless
Maya: YIPPEE omg you're going to LOVE this
Miles internally thinks "oh no, the consequences of my actions.
We see Miles standing in between Phoenix Wright and Maya looking apprehensive. Maya beams in excitement, while Nick puts a reassuring hand on Miles' shoulder
Miles: Alright, so what is this exactly?
Nick: She's a pop musician Maya really likes
Maya: You promised you'd let me show you, and it's legally binding because you said it in a court room!
Miles: That is not how the law works Ms. Fey
Maya: Shh just listen!
We see a panel of Miles' pensive face concentrating as he listens to "Hot to Go". He thinks to himself "hm".
Another panel zoomed in more. His pensive expression has grown more tense/confused as he listens to "Red Wine Supernova". he again thinks to himself "Hm" in a larger thought bubble.
We zoom out again to see Nick, Miles, and Maya standing together again. Miles stares forward blankly, eyebrows raised. Maya excitedly leans in.
Maya: Ok, that's her whole discography. So! What did you think?
Nick looks at him, waiting for his response
We get a panel of Miles, looking bewildered. He starts to speak "I..."
We cut again to see the three of them standing together.
Miles: I... don't think I like women?
Miles looks shocked and confused. Nick is bent over laughing, using a hand on Miles's shoulder to support himself. Maya looks outraged and appalled!
Maya: MR. EDGEWORTH! Just because you don' like her musi it doesn't give you an excuse to be sexist!
We see a panel of Miles looking stressed and confused. He leans his head on one of his hands, which messes up his hair, showing how he isn't his normal put together self.
Miles: I should rephrase that. What I mean is, Ms. Roan is clearly VERY assured in her feelings towards women. I was... unaware that anyone felt that strongly. I thought we all viewed these things with a vague sense of distaste and unease but collectively ignored it. Like how we do with climate change.
We zoom out again to see the three of them. Miles stands in the middle looking deeply uncomfortable and lost in thought, vibrating with unease. Nick and Maya exchange deeply concerned glances across from him.
With lingering unease, Miles begins to walk away.
Miles: Well, I should be going then. Goodnight.
Nick hesitantly raises a finger to point out an inaccuracy in that statement
Nick: It's four in the afternoon-
he gets interrupted by Miles who repeats firmly: I said Goodnight
Nick looks in the direction Miles walked off in.
Nick: ...He'll be ok, right?
Maya reassures him: Of cours Nick! I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
Jump cut to a closeup of Nick's hand holding Miles' letter which reads Miles Edgeworth chooses death in all caps. Then, below in smaller font, it says Also femininomenon was really good, thanks.
We see a panel of Nick glaring wordlessly at Maya as he holds the letter in his hand. Maya leans against the wall and looks away, whistling, trying to look innocent to avoid blame.
As a bonus, we also have a page that takes place a year later. Miles and Nick stand talking. Miles looks calmer now, and Nick smiles encouragingly.
Miles: In my time in Europe, I've been examining myself and my approach to law. Ultimately, the most important focus must be justice. We owe it to ourselves and to the people we serve
Nick: Wow, that's really inspiring Edgeworth. And, uh, hows the... the other thing going?
We get a zoomed in panel of Miles glaring menacingly at a suddenly nervous Nick
Jumping out again, Miles turns his back to Nick as he continues to talk
Miles: So as I was saying, justice is truly so important...
Nick nervously rubs the back of his neck wearing an awkward expression as he sweats nervously. He thinks to himself internally "Ooookay then, clearly still working through some things there"
/.End ID]
#Miles can handle horrifying truths about the death of his father and the nature of his guardian#but he draws the line at questioning his sexuality!#also. serious moment for a second#I think we focus a lot on moments of queer discovery stemming from attraction to the same sex#like that being the moment of panicked “oh no I'm different”. Which makes sense and is valid!#But I think it's also compelling to explore the opposite but similar twist in your gut that is:#oh my god I don't feel anything in this situation where others do. oh no something something is wrong with me#and this is something that gay and lesbian people have in common with ace and aro people!#I feel such tenderness and kinship to everyone who has been in that situation#and it's why i will never understand why aspec folks are pitted against gay or lesbian representation#we are drawn to the same characters bc we had such similar experiences and isn't that lovely that we can find solace in media?#so NO FIGHTING. We should all be BEST FRIENDS. my brothers in arms. I'd die for you.#all that is to SAY: I personally read edgeworth as asexual and like demiromantic/gay.#but YOU can read him as just gay in this comic if you want <3#Also. i just thought it would be funny if it took a lesbian to make him realize he didn't like women#I think he would have no clue how to react to chappell roan. Same vibe as giving a victorian orphan a baja blast and a crunchwrap supreme#ok sorry shutting up now#ace attorney#ace attorney comic#ace attorney trilogy#gyakuten saiban#phoenix wright#naruhodo ryuichi#miles edgeworth#mitsurugi reiji#maya fey#ayasato mayoi
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are we the same?
#the dark urge#bg3#art tag#my art#i remembered the models of la specola and i went into a fugue#im just always thinking about how horrifying it is to have been carved by your father & what kind of anatomy the dark urge would have#if she's like a normal person or if she's nothing inside... both options have their own miseries#and i wonder if she would have reproductive organs at all. and both options are also miserable in their own way#i think emeline would not know for sure and try not to think about it#em
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Loki's arrival: official concept art (by Andy Park)
#Loki#avengers 1#he was having a grand ol' time in his missing year#jesus#and then that final one where he pretends to be okay#that lying liar who lies#holy shit#his pain tolerance must be absolutely nuts#he's all.. melty#and it looks like they also kinda went with the sewing his mouth shut thing? or melting it shut or whatever horrifying thing caused THAT#tw: gore#tw: body horror#i must assume the whole thing is a glamour because he's also fixed his clothes#and in the film he is in obvious pain for most of his scenes in the first half#man the hulk smash must've been a cakewalk because WTF IS THIS#no wonder he was sassily hopping around a scene later#i bet he didn't even break a bone#what if it was just the velocity of being waved around by the hulk that made him so dizzy and nauseous that he was out of it lol#sorry i just don't know how to deal with this except keep singing thriller#man what i would give to have seen this angst play out on screen. can you imagine THOR seeing him like this?#tw: torture#tw: horror
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it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.
#castiel spn#spn#this is not like a Castiel Crime (tm) to be clear. this is more me being (un)surprised that the show is Like This.#castiel is a horror story he is so much a horror story in the rapture#and then they just uh. never bring up again how horrifying and fucked up this is for another like 7 seasons#and when they do its to briefly go :( claire lost her dad :) but its okay! she forgives cas for it!#which!! NO SHE SHOULD FUCKING NOT!!!#but we can't have that discussion. we can't talk about that. because to acknowledge that it's fucked up would mean making cas kind of. evil#in a way that would vastly improve his later character arcs btw. if we had to reckon with not only this massive transgression#but with the fact that cas himself STILL DOESN'T SEE IT AS ONE.#that on a lot of fundamental levels. he is still functioning as he did in s4. a lot of that base programming is still there.#something something how cas never changes out of his suit under his trenchcoat#but it's like. jimmy said yes. so it's fine. that's what it is to him.#anyway. i wish they hadn't been scared of making all three of the boys more fucked up in later seasons.#thank GOD for dean being interesting in how he becomes Worse <3 because they were not bringing that for castiel.#again. good version of spn where jimmy's bloodline is an off-shoot of the lucifer vessel bloodline. explaining a) how lucifer Got In There#and b) letting lucifer possess claire later so that the two of them can have daddy issues together.#something about cas being the monster-not monster that jimmy let in that destroyed his life.#something about lucifer being the monster-not monster that castiel lets in later. the cycles. they are cycling.
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if we're talking about weird ways the prequel movies handled raven and erik, i still can't really get over how they
- made a huge plot point of first class physical mutations
- erased erik's physical mutation (his white hair)
- made raven's opinion on her physical mutation that she doesn't wanna hide it
- then proceed to have her shapeshifted and hide it almost constantly
- then gave quicksilver and polaris their unnatural hair colors that they should have inherited from erik
it's just hilarious to me. i wanna see the talks that lead to these decisions.
i think At Most i can justify raven hiding her true form as a way to protect herself and/or because she's insecure: evidently a lot of people dont act kindly to blue scaled women (tho i did wish she showed her true form more while at the cia base with the other mutants) and it's fair to assume that even if she wants to be out and proud she has some apprehension about it because of Aforementioned safety/confidence issues
everything else tho yeah LOL whats all this then. wasnt in the budget i support- tho i stilllll so badly wish that they at least let erik's hair go white in apocalypse ..... that woulda been cool at least .....
#snap chats#quicksilver having his silver hair could be justified in-universe as him dyeing it or something#i dont know. i cant speak for the decisions made when making these movies vjALKVAKJV#like if we reaaaalllyy wanna talk bout weird things the movies did i think my weirdest bits would be charles' family#i dont know why they had it be implied charles and his mother werent on good terms when it was pretty much the opposite in comics#i mean there really was no reason why raven couldnt shift into kurt marco but whatever#then its kinda funny how cain is just. Not Really Relevant. his family ties to charles isnt really relevant if i remember right#tho on that note it couldve been funny/horrifying if cain had to grow up with raven AND charles#congratulations you have two mutant siblings to hate now. jesus cjerLKAERERJ#BUT yeah. my cope at least is that these movies are their own isolated universes so w/e the canon is then ill take it#i do wish we got white hair erik tho. ill mourn that forever i fear. also mystique's cool outfit i wish we got that but mOVING ON
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Did Eleven ever tell Amy and Rory’s parents that they’re alive in the past? Or did they just go missing a few weeks after a third of the human population had heart attacks?
#updates from cipher#I was thinking about Bill as well. Was her foster mom just waiting for her to come home and she never did?#doctor who#I should write a fic. Eleven rings Brian Williams doorbell and avoids eye contact as he tells him that his son is still alive#but that he’ll never see him again. and he died in his 80s in the 1990s or smth#and the doctor can’t save them because of the paradox thr weeping angels created#god 10 and Martha would have been so close to Amy and Rory during Daleks in Manhattan as well#In a version of events where like. 12 holds off regeneration long enough at the end of TUAT to go tell Bill’s mom that she’s dead*#before he regenerates he’s like. I have to tell her before I regenerate I can’t put this off and do it in a new body#bc imagine if like a companion died while travelling#and the doctor goes to tell their family who they met a few times#but they’re so upset about the companion dying they weren’t able to face the companion’s family for a looong time#not until after they regenerated and the family is horrified to see this stranger has a new BODY and their child is dead#and the doctor not doing it immediately would indicate just how guilty they feel
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K guys your posts won my curiosity and I managed to binge the first Lockwood book in one day. Skimmed over the really grisly parts, very pleased with myself for not getting super freaked out and for figuring out the villain about the time they got to the scary mansion. A little disappointed that the funny talking skull in a jar didn't actually talk until the epilogue. No I will NOT be watching the tv series because 1) I appreciate my brain's inability to provide me with vivid imagery that would definitely excite my anxiety, and 2) Im sure the actor playing George is great but he is also reasonably cute and skinny and the book is VERY CLEAR that George is supposed to be an overweight, not-conventionally-attractive blond kid. Justice for tubby kid representation! (Altho I will add that the author has a foreward in this edition stating how much he loves those actors and how they portray the kids, so at least he's okay with it.) Anyhoo will let yall know if I make it through book 2, now I need to try and actually go to bed it is so LATE
#river reads#lockwood and co#george cubbins#yes I shluld have been in bed hours ago#but what else is new#thank you sincerely Jesus that I handled that well and didnt get freaked out#the me of a few years ago would be in a bad place rn#still pretty gross and depressing to think of the ghosts but I like how the book treats it all scientifically#makes it less existentially horrifying I think#anyhoo goodnight!
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desperately want to see a zag fight. sgg let me kick his ass
#hades 2#PLEASE IT WOULD GO SO HARD#like i genuinely think zagreus would be a powerful ally for chronos. or at least he would be a danger to chronos#he knows the underworld like the back of his hand and more importantly he knows how to ESCAPE the underworld#he's a skilled and powerful fighter and he's in the good graces of a lot of olympian gods#not to mention that chronos knows what melinoë can do. who's to say her brother isn't the same? or at least similar#chronos' only issue is that i'm like 99% sure zagreus haaaaaates him aidhskfjsjdj like so much#so! he's not going to be able to convince zag to join his side so easily. or at all#and chronos has been shown to use manipulation and alteration of reality to get what he wants#also how horrifying would it be? to see the long lost prince of the underworld siding with the enemy?#chronos would absolutely use that against hades. like look. i have your son on my side. what will you do?#(side note i wrote chronos as chronks by mistake)#a zagreus/melinoë teamup would be absolutely DEVASTATING for chronos akdbsjdjsjfndkf
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will never not be depressed over rosemary kennedy. He had her awake and talking the whole time only so he would know he completely destroyed her brain. he only stopped when she was no longer able to respond.
#i cant even imagine how horrified she mustve been#i know the brain has no nerve endings#but i cant even imagine how painful it would be to have all those neurons and all those sections of your brain completely turned to mush#it makes me sick#to feel yourself get more and more incoherent and vegetable like#it's emotionally traumatic for people to experience brain damage like this from sudden impacts#imagine it being carried out over an hour or more#god#rosemary kennedy
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interesting to me how when i turned 19 i was kinda terrified bc i was like “oh shit this is my last year as a teenager….. i won’t be a teenager after that… i wanted to be a teenager for all of my childhood and now that part’s almost Over. aaaaugh” and now approx. 9 months later i cannot fucking WAIT to stop being a teenager oh my god i am ready to move on. 20s please i would like to be in them. i am done being 19 thank you !!!
#marzi speaks#it’s . probably bc of the vasculitis thing#which like. while it is a traumatic thing that i need to work through and plan on going to therapy about#it also put a LOT of things into perspective for me#and like actually i do not think i am afraid of growing up anymore !#i mean i still have like. the imposter syndrome and the fear of getting overwhelmed and falling behind#that’s not gonna go away overnight that’s been there for as long as i can remember#BUT!! i know deep down that i can figure it out now.#bc i figured out a lot. i figured out how to gauge my physical well being#i figured out how to be someone who can regularly make phone calls without crying#i figured out pharmacies. and i’m figuring out how insurance works#and appointments and withdrawing from school and reapplying to school#and all of the lifestyle changes that come with having an autoimmune disease#i’m learning self advocacy. i’m learning how to respond when people treat me poorly (always accidentally so far)#yeah getting my license has been hard and slow just bc i have all the anxiety shit about it. but i AM putting that effort in#i dunno it’s just. adult responsibilities are horrifying and the prospect of existing independently in our current society#is horrifying. and i think i’ll always be scared.#but i used to think i might not be able to handle it. that i would fall apart#i know now that i won’t. i will find a way to move forward and be happy. because that’s what i’ve always done#if i can take the scariest couple of months in stride the way that i have. then i think i can handle it#anyways. 19 was eventful enough can i be 20 now. i think being 20 would be good for me#still a Weird thing to think about. two whole decades. but like i can do it methinks
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well.
I'm 30.
#one minute ago#damn I really REALLY thought I'd have my life more together#I mean to be real I 10000% did not expect to live until 30 good grief#but in my day dreams of 'what I might have been like if I lived to be an adult' this was not it#not still living like an emancipated minor in a 1 1/2 that's not even official it's more of a charity by the people who own the garage#that it's built in#not remembering to eat every day and eating the same 'gotta eat something' random assortment of whatever is in the cabinets#that I've been eating since I was 4#still working 4 jobs and not having my phd yet#literally never gone on one date and still feel too young for a relationship because I don't ever EVER want to be that guy#who doesn't know how to do anything and expects their partner to take care of them#I can barely do laundry and I straight up refuse to do dishes#I buy paper plates and cups#I'm not going to impose that on anyone#I keep thinking when I grow up I can have a relationship but I'm not old enough yet#but buddy I'm a freaking grown up now#30 is no joke#it's official#I just suck.#it's not about age its about being a garbage person#like i would never ever EXPECT my partner to take care of me but in practical terms I would fail at keeping the house clean#and they would pick up the slack becuase they don't want to live in a trash hole and would get mad and/or bitter with me for making them#living alone my bad choices only effect me#when i've lived with roommates in the past this has always been a key point of breakdown#even when I've tried to be extra dilligent I would forget a glass somewhere becuase I planned to reuse it and my roomate would wash it#and be mad that I felt entitled and expected them to clean up after me when I absolutly did NOT in fact I was horrified#that they needed to clean something up after me- I just simply lost track of it. and that was 10000% unfun for everyone involved#I was ashamed 100% of the time and they felt used 100% of the time and no one had a good time
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youtube
I'm viewing footages and watching the news right? And the reporter's saying "what an earth was he(the president of sk) thinking"
We don't know either. I can't believe this happened... I slept through this whole event, so it feels like a fever dream. How is this real? I happened to sleep really early yesterday, it just happened to be on that particular night.
#people were worried for me yesterday- the day went.. really normal like nothing took place btw#and I was dazed in the morning so I was like: it took me a lot of time for it to sink in and honestly#I knew how much this man lacked common sense. I wasn't as surprised at first as I should have been. if it's him- he's capable of doing it#out of sole tantrum. he is that kind of person. but I had no idea he'd be this bad#the soldiers - a lot of them are young.. people cheered for them as they returned back calling them our sons#to be assembled for something as senseless as this is. it was a horrifying night for everyone#there are so many people living in sk...there must be someone wise and capable#why was this guy even elected?? I can't forgive what he tried to do... what if people actually got hurt??#just pick anyone from the streets and they'd be more responsible than he is#oh I should sleep again#;; I really slept through oh this OH BOY#Youtube#actually if it's him it's possible. that why I wasn't surprised. it would have def failed too#hey I think I do have eyes for these things#of course I didn't know the extent of how foul he could be but...I knew what kind if person he was. I saw it really well.#I lost all hope on him way back and I usually don't feel that way about someone. this was bound to happen. he was out of control#wish people could see what people are;;
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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