#I was ashamed 100% of the time and they felt used 100% of the time and no one had a good time

[platypusisnotonfire]

well.

I'm 30.

[yanderestarangel]

♡˚₊‧⁺˖ headcanons arcane — sevika x reader

— tw: soft!dom sevika, fluff, wife sevika, soft sex, praise kink, biting kink, hexstrap, fingering, dirty talk, marriage, mommykink, oral fixation, afab reader, eat out, dp, vibrators, breedkink, smut, anal, sub!reader, no pronouns used.

♡⁠┊Sevika is a caring companion, and even though her behavior is different when she is Silco's henchwoman, she has a soft spot for you and the life you two have built together. It wasn’t easy for her to accept her feelings for you. In the beginning, you two were just friends with benefits, and Sevika only enjoyed the sex you had. She would get bored and think. "At least I don't have to pay for someone else at the brothel." She knew it was a horrible thought and was ashamed of having such a selfish mentality. This would be a secret she would keep forever and take to the grave—she would never hurt you by admitting what she thought before developing feelings.

♡⁠┊ As time went on, she gave in to the feelings that persistently warmed her heart and soul. Your smile was the first thing to make her blush—and she hadn’t even thought that was possible. She had always been so controlled and objective that it genuinely shocked her to feel the overwhelming need to have you by her side 24/7. Soon, the word "passion" echoed through her mind like a haunting melody. She found you more addictive than the nicotine that coursed through the cigarettes she smoked.

♡⁠┊Before long, what started as "friends with benefits" naturally evolved into "lovers."

♡⁠┊There was a Sevika before you and a Sevika after you. She had never been the kind of woman who worried about getting home or keeping track of dates. Her life revolved around late nights in the casino’s accounting department, playing poker, grabbing meals from nearby vendors, and caring little about commitments that didn’t involve Silco.

♡⁠┊But after you came into her life, she started making an effort to be an acceptable girlfriend. At first, the change in routine felt strange to her. The loud music she once thrived on was replaced by soft conversations with you about each other's day, accompanied by chaste smiles. She even found herself helping you in the kitchen—passing ingredients and stealing glances at you, looking so adorably domestic to her. Adorable as hell, she’d think, trying to hide the silly smile that crept onto her lips as you continued chatting about your day while she was at work.

♡⁠┊Everyone noticed how much the "big mama" had changed. She was still the tough, no-nonsense woman everyone knew, but there was a new spark to her—a contentment, as if she were finally 100% happy with herself. She began taking better care of herself, and though she wouldn’t admit it outright, she loved when you noticed the little changes she made. A new hairstyle, a fresh haircut, a different lipstick or gloss, or even a change in the eyeshadow she wore—your compliments made her day. "Do you like it? Thank you... I decided to look prettier for you, baby." she’d say with a soft smile, handing you a bouquet of your favorite roses before pulling you into a tight hug. She’d carry you inside, ready to spend hours talking with you, only for the evening to melt into passionate kisses on the couch.

♡⁠┊Sevika expresses her love through acts of service and heartfelt compliments. She’ll do anything to make you comfortable. Though she never imagined sharing her home with anyone, she started taking better care of the space for your sake. When you can’t handle the household chores, she steps in without hesitation—bringing you breakfast in bed and lingering for a moment to make sure you’re okay—"Let me know if you need anything; I’ll come running." she says protective, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead and giving you one last look before leaving the house. Her presence is felt throughout the streets in her actions and reputation, but no matter where she goes, her mind always drifts back to you.

♡⁠┊The marriage proposal came naturally to Sevika. You two had been living together for a while, and she knew without a doubt that you were her great love. At forty, she had no patience for games anymore—it was all or nothing. You were lying in bed when the moment came. "We've been together for a while, right? How about we make things official? Me, you, a nice wedding..." she began, her words a little hesitant as she reached into the drawer with her mechanical arm, pulling out a beautiful red velvet box. She opened it quickly, revealing two rose gold rings. She had carefully chosen a design that suited both of you, seeking help to find the perfect pair. In the end, the cost didn’t matter—it was worth every penny. "You know I love you more than anything. Will you marry me, angel face?" Sevika finally asked, her voice filled with sincerity as she held the ring engraved with her name and gently slipped it onto your finger. It was a simple proposal, shared in the intimacy of your bedroom on an ordinary weekday. Yet, for Sevika, it became an extraordinary moment—a day that would forever hold a sweet place in her heart, the day you said yes and accepted her as your wife.

♡⁠┊Your wedding was simple, just as Sevika had suggested. Money was tight, so she proposed a civil ceremony at the registry office, followed by a quiet picnic in the park where you could spend the day together. She wore a black suit, sharp yet understated, and happily let you make flower crowns for both of you to wear. Lying with her head resting on your thighs, she spoke softly about your future plans, weaving dreams of the life you’d build together. She promised that once your financial situation improved, she’d throw you a grand ceremony—regardless of whether you told her it wasn’t necessary.

♡⁠┊ "Don’t talk nonsense, sweetie. Just wait until I have some good money, okay? Mama's here will give you everything you deserve. Those weddings for rich people are really expensive." she’d say with determination, her voice firm yet tender. As you played with her hair, she smoked leisurely, her gaze alternating between the sky and you. "Just wait for the money to come in, okay? I promise things will get better for us, one day..." she murmured, exhaling smoke through her nose. Sevika didn’t know exactly when things would change for the better, but she held tightly to hope and faith. Until then, she gave you all the love and support she had, pure and unwavering. For her, it wasn’t about the money—it was about showing you, in every way she could, just how much you meant to her.

♡⁠┊And this romanticism transforms into touches of heat on your honeymoon. Sevika adores you as if you were a deity, laying you down on the bed and kissing every inch of your skin. She gently removes the clothes you wore at the wedding, whispering sweet words that send shivers through both of you: "I've waited so long for this, honey... I love you so much it hurts." She kisses your belly, trailing down to your intimacy, leaving soft kisses over your still-clothed pussy. Pushing aside the already damp fabric, she presses her nose against your clit.

♡⁠┊"I will always adore you. You are my world, my most precious thing in this life..." Her green eyes shine as they meet yours, and she carefully removes your panties, returning to kiss the inside of your thighs. Finally, her full lips meet your cunt, a hoarse grunt escaping her as she closes her eyes, savoring your taste. It doesn’t take long for her to lose herself in you, a comfortable heat blooming within her as you pull her hair and rub your hips against her face. Both of her hands hold you firmly in place while the older woman pushes her tongue into your hole, fucking you slowly and savoring every moment of your essence.

♡⁠┊She would slide two fingers inside you, making you feel every inch as they filled and caressed your spongy walls, drawing you tighter around her touch. "Do you want a third finger, darling? Are you that needy, huh? You're making me so proud... Taking me so well." she whispers with a teasing grin. When she adds a third finger, the sensation is overwhelming—you've never felt so full in your entire life. Her tongue lavishes attention on every inch of your bundle of nerves, her lips and tongue working in harmony to send waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Your wife becomes utterly pussy drunk, grunting in excitement as she urges you to give her more of your juices, moaning for you like it’s her greatest pleasure. She doesn’t stop until she makes you squirt, her relentless mouth and fingers ensuring her face is soaked. "Fuck... Holy hell, my angel. You should see your face right now, you know?" she murmurs with satisfaction, wiping some of your wetness from her face with the back of her hand. Her fingers drip with your essence, the sight so erotic it leaves her wet and desperate to make you cum over and over, determined to keep you crying out for her all night long.

♡⁠┊She quickly searches for the strap-on she bought especially for that night—one designed with two attachments for double penetration. The second dildo was crafted for anal play, a vibrating device made of the same material as her mechanical arm. Sevika chose this because she didn’t want to use her arm directly on you, knowing its hard, metallic structure might hurt you. Instead, she always finds creative ways to surprise you, just like tonight.

Carefully, she prepares your body. Her skilled fingers, warm tongue, and plenty of lubricant ensure that both your holes are ready for her. Once you’re comfortable, she lines up the dual-function strap-on, slowly impaling you with precision and care. Her hips move in tandem with the vibrations from the anal dildo, creating an overwhelming wave of pleasure you’ve never felt before.

"Shit, baby, look at this—wet as fuck... You're so greedy, always asking for more. My fuck toy holes are never satisfied, huh?" she teases, her voice low and dripping with desire. She slides two fingers into your mouth, coaxing you to suck on them while she fucks you slowly, savoring every moment. Sevika holds back her own orgasm, her pussy aching and dripping between her muscular thighs as she watches you, beautifully open and writhing for her. Her restraint only heightens her desire, every movement and sound you make driving her wild as she focuses on bringing you to heights of unimaginable ecstasy.

♡⁠┊Sevika activated the function to release a hot liquid from the strap-on, similar to semen. It was a type of hot, translucent lubricant designed to stimulate you and feed her fantasies of shaping your body. "That's it... love, I want to get pregnant so much, you know? You're going to look so beautiful full of my cock. Moan for mommy, moan loudly." she moaned hoarsely, biting your shoulder and making you bite hers too. It was a fair exchange; you would mark her, and she would do the same. She slapped you hard on the ass, moving her hips back and forth quickly while holding your neck and joining your lips in a kiss that mixed your moans. Her breasts pressed against yours, making both your nipples hard as she went harder, finally making you squeeze the silicone cock as the hot artificial liquid rewarded you, leaking from your holes and leaving you dizzy with the specially made substance. "I love you so much... you are mine forever..." Sevika gasped, resting her head on your breasts, kissing the soft flesh and biting gently as she pulled out of you.

♡⁠┊After the mess, she will clean you up and give you a bath, along with herself, not letting you fall due to your legs being weak from the orgasm. She dresses you in one of her loose blouses and puts clean sheets on the bed, placing you to lie in her strong arms, giving you a kiss on the forehead, sighing, also tired, but satisfied. "Go to sleep, so when you wake up, I'll still be here to enjoy our honeymoon." Sevika promises, calming you down as she waits for you to fall asleep so she can rest peacefully. It was a small new beginning among so many others, but she swore to herself to always make you happy, and the moon was the witness to that, bathing the two of you in silver on that night of peace and love—everything you needed, everything she needed, and now, there was you."

★ ! yanderestarangel©

[spacegyaru]

DON'T LOOK AT IT!

your phone got lost for some reasons. the following day, the sex tape you made with your boyfriend (shidou, kaiser, sae, and bachira) was all around the internet. how would they react?

cw: r18+, mdni! mentions of sex tape and implied sex. humiliation. somewhat angst and comfort. a little bit toxic, esp shidou and kaiser's.

a/n: i'm going to start this with characters who are most likely to have sex tapes first then i'll add other characters!!

masterlist | part 2 (reo, nagi, hiyori, otoya, yukimiya) | part 3 (rin, isagi, chigiri)

shidou ryusei

this guy is a fucking freak. in your relationship with him, every intimate and lovemaking session must be recorded. he would watch it from time to time, and he may have even threatened you a lot of times that if you decided to cheat or leave him, he's going to post those videos online. that guy is 100% shameless.

if your sex tape with him goes viral, shidou would absolutely give zero fucks about it. he would be even smug and confident. even if you feel sad and humiliated, he's just going to make fun of you but would try to comfort you with hugs and kisses… and another lovemaking session together. this time, no cameras on. only for a while, until the issue dies down.

“awww, don't you want people to see how much of a dirty girl you are? you're even moaning my name loudly while i drill you from behind. or are you ashamed of you belong to?”

michael kaiser

another freak who won't give a a fuck about it. like shidou, he would act smug and proud about it.

his management told him that he could lose potential sponsors with that video alone. but he know that he's one of the best players so they couldn't just drop him like that. and apparently, he's actually right. he almost fired his secretary for telling him what to do.

if you feel humiliated, kaiser would try to comfort you. but his way to comfort you is not by words, not even by affection. he would shower you with gifts and designer bags, even with the management telling you to stay apart first until the issue dies down. he honestly don't get it. why do you feel ashamed with letting the whole world know who you belong to?

“what do you mean you feel ashamed? you were fucking me, michael kaiser. i'm no nobody. come on, let me just take you on a shopping spree and get this off your mind.”

bachira meguru

another freak, but also a sweetheart. not all, but MOST of your lovemaking sessions and intimate encounters are recorded using your phone. whenever he's away or on tour, he would watch it and touch himself at the thought of you. when you told him that your phone got lost, you were the only one panicking. he told you that he could just buy you a new one, but that's not what you're concerned about. the videos. THE FUCKING VIDEOS. LITERALLY. FUCKING.

then days later, one of your videos with him went viral. you've never felt so humiliated your whole life. but bachira was just like “huh? what's wrong with that? people already know we're together, right?” you smacked his shoulder with that insensitive comment of his.

hours later, bachira apologized to you, bought you flowers, and ice cream to comfort you. he realized that he did something wrong when you avoided him for being so clueless and insensitive about the issue. he also posted an apology to the social media, after his management and his own mother scolded him. he got extra scolding from his mom when he told her how you responded to it.

“y/n baby, i'm really sorry about it. i thought it would be alright because the whole world already knew how much we love each other. would you forgive me, please?”

itoshi sae

not that much of a freak, but you were the one who brought up the idea of making a video together so he could watch it while he's away. he’s not that much of a fun but would do it just once or twice during your relationship.

when the video went viral, sae mostly scolded you for it. he didn't outwardly ‘scold scold’ you, but he gave you cold shoulder. apparently, his management told him that you guys shouldn't be seen together in public for a while. he knew he couldn't resist if ever he talked to you even nicely.

you started crying because he really acted coldly around you. he sighed and felt guilty about it. so while the issue hasn't died down yet, he took you out for a shopping spree. he bought you some cartier jewelry and new designer shoes.

“jeez, stop being dramatic. we're going out tonight and i'll take you to buy that designer shoes you've been eyeing. but we're never recording any of our sex again, okay?”

a/n: comment down which character should i do next!! i'm thinking of hiori but idk, suggest more pls!!!

[its-ares]

— Love in full view

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐱 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐲.

The formula 1 Star gave a personal interview in his home in Monaco. He was interviewd by an old companion, Aart Classen, who wrote and accompanied Verstappen’s way since approximately over eight years. The Redbull driver didn‘t want to hide is relationship anymore, please follow along for a very raw insight to Max Verstappen.

By Aart Claasen

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Are you sure you want to do this Max? You know I don't care if people know we're together, I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for," said Max's boyfriend of 3 years and looked not convinced. Max chuckled and kissed M/N to calm him down.

"Schat, I'm 100% sure. I don't want to hide any longer, this has been going on for too long. It's about time," Max calmed his partner and hugged him. The couple went into the living room, where Aart had already set everything up. Now or Never.

The interview went well and everyone was relaxed. Max told how he and M/N met and how they went from being friends to lovers. At some point the three of them started talking about Jos. "How did Jos react when you told him that you were gay and had a boyfriend?" asked Aart and Max stiffened for a moment. Aart noticed this. "We don't have to talk about him if you don't want to, Max. This is your story." Max shook his head and tried to collect himself. He took a deep breath and started to tell his story.

"I didn't tell him for a long time because I didn't know exactly how to tell him. I told my mother right at the beginning and she always supported me. I also think that she likes M/N more than me," said Max, making the others laugh. "She knew about my struggle to tell Jos. I avoided him for a while and then at some point he confronted me after the race and then it just burst out of me. The hide and seek game became more and more difficult for me and when he asked me more questions I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore," Max finished his monologue and glanced at you. Your smile calmed Max down.

"And what did Jos say then and how did he react?" Aart asked curiously and Max laughed humorlessly. "He was completely confused at first and thought I was joking. Let's just say he's slowly getting used to the idea," said Max and you decided to take a break. "I'm proud of you, baby," you whispered and Max kissed you softly.

After a short break, the interview continued. "Why did you decide to make your relationship public now?" asked Aart and you cautiously looked at Max. "That's actually the sad part of the story. M/N and I wanted to enjoy the break in peace and were in Hasselt. We were on the beach with my mother in the evening and just enjoyed the time. Unfortunately, there were also people there who don't like me and they took a photo when we kissed. We didn't even notice the people and a few weeks later I got a DM on Instagram with the pictures. One guy of the group wrote that he would publish the pictures. We talked about it for a long time and then I made the decision to make it public. We don't want to be blackmailed, I'm not ashamed of being gay, I just wanted some privacy," Max finished and felt a huge weight fall from his shoulders.

After several hours, the three of them ended the interview. "Thank you for your trust, Max. I'll type up the interview and send it to you in advance. I wish you all the best," Aart said, thanking him and saying goodbye.

"Come on, honey, it's been a long day. Let's order something to eat and relax before the spectacle starts," said M/N amusedly. Max laughed.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

liked by 284.063

maxverstappen1 I love you Schat 🧡 The article Love in full view is out now, go check it out. And a big thank you to aartclaasen

[cheezeybread]

Hello :) My request is MC/Yuu overblotting- but not with magic! What I picture is them having a nervous breakdown. It starts off with them hyperventilating and being unresponsive. Then it devolves into them screaming their head off until their voice starts going hoarse and hitting anyone who tries to touch them. Maybe even throwing and destroying things. Afterwards, they refuse to speak to Crowley- even avoiding him- due to his role in their breakdown. In my mind their breakdown is caused by long term stress and triggered by Crowley telling them that there is no way for them to go home.

YES

I love this idea, it's been bouncing around in my brain for so long <3

TW // Harsh language, violent depicitions, graphic metaphors, ANGST

Uhhhh, I took some creative liberties here and there, so some things (mainly regarding Idia and Malleus because I haven't gotten up to their books in the game and refuse to look up spoilers LMAO) may not be 100% canon oopsies!

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were starting to feel exhausted.

Well, that was an understatement, You had felt exhausted ever since you arrived at NCR...but this feeling was something slightly different. It was like a nagging sensation, yet also like some sort of wet rag placed over your mind at the same time. It was concerning, to say the least, but it was something you would have to shrug off until you could find the free time to fix it.

Which most likely wouldn't be anytime soon, knowing how the days went for you.

Grim was always priority number one. Keeping him out of trouble meant constantly keeping an eye on him, de-escalating any fights that he might try to kick up if left alone for a single moment. And since the two of you were technically one student, that meant that his grades were yours. Even though he was the only one out of the both of you that could use magic, he still slacked off at every turn, which left you to straighten every corner he tried to cut, finish every project that he wrote one sentence on and left, finish every alchemy potion he left bubbling on the cauldron, even if you had your own stuff to complete.

Then there were the tasks given to you by Crowley, your "ever so kind" benefactor. Despite his school getting you into this mess in the first place, Crowley considered it your fault, and as such, made you complete various chores to earn your weight around school. Which, paired with your classes, made for a day in and of itself. This isn't to include the yard-long to-do list he gave you at the start of every week, most of the points looking suspiciously like tasks the Headmaster was supposed to do himself...

And there were the students. Some you didn't know tried to kick up fights with you, knowing you couldn't use magic back on them. So you had to learn to avoid these students, or make sure you were always traveling with a friend. And as for your friends, every single one came to you with their problems day in and day out. A dorm dispute, so they needed to crash at Ramshackle for the night and eat all of your food. An overblot. More fights. Homework. Tutoring sessions. Projects they needed your help with.

You shook the thoughts out of your mind and continued walking to class with Grim, the Direbeast nestled in the crook of your arm as you balanced both yours and his schoolbooks in the other arm.

"And then, Ace was all like-" His voice sounded unusually high-pitched today. Or maybe that was just your imagination? Either way, it was giving you a headache.

"YN!" Another voice called out, the owner quickly jogging up to you. Ace and Deuce, ever the duo. You nodded your head at them in greeting, as Grim twisted his head around to look at them.

"Ace! Hah, I was just telling YN about what happened yesterday in the courtyard!" At the mention of the incident, Ace's face blanched, and the boy looked uncomfortable and ashamed.

"Oh, you mean with him and Professor Crewel?" Deuce spoke up, laughing already "Yeah, that was hilarious- remind me again, why exactly did he-"

"YN!" Now came one of the twins- normally you wouldn't have much of an issue telling them apart, but your head was starting to pound even harder now, making your vision a little blurrier. The fact that he didn't greet you with a nickname most likely meant that it was Jade.

"Oh...hey," You greeted, your brows furrowing from the pain in your head.

"Have you been to the greenhouse recently? I seem to have misplaced-"

"SHRIMPY" Ah, and there was twin number two. You felt your shoulders being constricted in a strong hug, much to Grim's dismay

"STAWPIT, YOU'RE CRUSHIN ME!" The Direbeast yowled, practically clawing himself out of your arms and jumping down onto the ground.

"Yo, YN, are you alri-" Ace started, but he, too, was interrupted

"YN!" Oh great! You recognized the Headmaster's annoying voice anywhere. And he waltzed up to you with all the elegance of an unpolished piece of charcoal, one hand reaching out to pull your arms free of Floyd's vice grip, and his other hand dropping a stack of papers into your now-outstretched arms. "Please, finish all of these by the end of this week, if you don't mind. It's papers for the senior's internships this year, and they need to be signed to be official, but I'm much too busy doing...other things...to be bothered."

"Are you still looking for a way to get me home?" You heard yourself mumble out loud, without even thinking of asking that question in the first place. But you had made it a habit to ask Crowley every time you saw him, so perhaps it was just muscle memory.

"Oh!" He chirped, straightening the front of his suit "Ah, yes, well, in my infinite wisdom, I have found out the reason to your barging in on our new-year's orientation, how you came to be here. But as for you returning, hmm, yes, I have managed to conclude that it is thoroughly impossible."

He said it so casually that it took you a moment to digest what had been said.

The students around you had gone silent, and you could feel their eyes all turning to you.

"What." Was all you could manage.

Crowley became increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the watch he kept buttoned to his vest, then brushing off his front side, then folding his arms before repeating the process again "It is impossible to return you home, I'm afraid," he said with as much bravado as he could muster "Now, as for your stay here, since there is nothing left that I can do, you will need to continue to work for-"

Everything seemed to crumble around you in that exact moment. The feeling of damp, dreaded annoyance that had been bubbling up in the back of your mind all day came to the surface at once, and you couldn't help but slam your eyes shut tight against the world. You didn't want to see that damn Crow, you didn't want to see your friends, you didn't want to see anybody!

You opened your mouth to speak in that moment, dropping to your knees, but all that came out was a painful, sorrow-filled wail, so loud and so harsh that you could feel the inside of your throat shred with every passing second.

A puddle of black ink started to fill your mind's eye, growing larger and larger until it was all your brain could think of.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Every dorm in the school was based off of one of the Great Seven. All but for the Ramshackle dorm, a long-forgotten piece of trash that rested on the campus of the school rather than in its own pocket dimension like the others.

Every housewarden embodied the spirit of their designated Great.

Riddle Rosehearts idolized the Queen of Hearts, following every law she had set in her chaotic kingdom, becoming as strict and severe with the enforcement of rules as she was.

Leona Kingscholar was a second-born, raised in the shadow of his older brother and sneered at by his people, and now had to live with the knowledge that he would never be a ruler with the birth of his nephew.

Azul Ashengrotto was an octo-mer, much like the Sea Witch, who specialized in contracts with those who were less fortunate and needed a favor.

Jamil Viper, although not a Housewarden, technically, but some would argue that he deserved to be such, was a consultant for the person in charge- someone he viewed as daft and naive to the ways of the world.

Vil Schoenheit, a man who wanted nothing more than to be considered the "Fairest of All", unable to cope with the fact that there was one who might be better than he.

Idia Shroud, a "loner" by typical standards, was born from a family long cursed, a family seen as Pariahs due to their research and studies.

Malleus Draconia, a descendant of Faes, royalty, with horns that rivaled the Great Thorn Fairy's. Despite longing for human interaction, and simply to be included, he was shunned for his bloodline and odd actions.

But you, Prefect of Ramshackle dorm, had no one to model yourself after.

You were nobody.

Every Housewarden Overblotted, one after another, because they couldn't be the spitting image of the great Seven, because of pressure, because they didn't realize that they were only teenagers who didn't have to be perfect.

Riddle overblotted because he couldn't grasp the concept of being wrong. Leona, because he wouldn't be anything greater than a second-born scum. Azul, because all his work was shredded and he was left with no power to put him above those who bullied him years ago. Jamil, because he had enough of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Vil, because he couldn't admit that he wasn't perfect. Idia, because he wanted freedom. Malleus, because he was tired of himself and the hatred others showed him.

Which only left you.

Nobody.

The nobody who landed in this strange new world, a world in which everyone had magic...except for you. A world were you were less than. A world where you were treated like a burden, despite everyone laying all of their problems on you, demanding you fix them. A world where, no matter how hard you tried, you would always, always be less than.

A nobody.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Then entire campus of NCR shook with your rage and sorrow.

The students both outside and inside stopped, simultaneously looking at whoever was closest to them before running to the source of the wail.

Everyone was silent. What could they do?

It was an overblot, the school's nurse would officially state later, brought on by stress and pushing yourself past the limit. Although you had no magic to push yourself over the edge with, the sheer amount of mental exhaustion you were being put through would work just as well as an exertion of magic, if not more so. In the privacy of their rooms and dorms, assured that no prying ears would overhear them, the students agreed amongst each other that it was more terrifying of a sight than anyone else's overblot they've seen. Yours was one of pure emotion, without any magic to artifically amplify it. Pure and untainted.

And while anyone else who overblotted could only use their magic, you held something far more powerful.

You held the emotions of hundreds of students at NCR. The most top-notch mages and students look to you with a sense of reverence. Whether you knew it or not, you held the strings of the hearts of them all. With one single word, you could cause any of the Housewardens to level entire cities for you, if only to gain your approval. You held the strings of fate for them all, and your pain and suffering was enough to make the same Housewardens, and anybody else who knew you closely- or even in passing- unable to use their magic for weeks after your breakdown.

They just...couldn't seem to use it. It was as if their magic were broken.

When you ran out of breath, finally getting all of your anger out of your system, you inhaled shakily, putting trembling hands on the ground to steady yourself.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a speckle of blood on the concrete below you, where your screams had caused your throat to crack and shred. You could see people in your peripheral vision, your friends, not one of them moving towards you.

Directly in front of you, looking as if he were about to make a run for it, was none other than Dire Crowley. You could see the sky behind him, dark and grey. Was it that color before?

"I-" You started, your voice cracking, but nonetheless heavy with emotion. You stood up slowly, your knees buckling at first, but eventually letting you stand up to your full height. You stood as tall as you could, your shoulders straight and your eyes focused straight ahead, drilling a hole through Crowley's head. Your face was wet from tears, and more were threatening to spill, but you didn't care about that right now.

"I'm done with you, Crowley," You spat, your voice holding a level of hatred you didn't know was possible. "I'm done working to make up for your shit. I'm done risking my life for you when I'm defenseless, when I'm stuck in this god-damn world because of you!" You held up an accusing finger, taking a step forward to jab it in his chest. He stepped back, but you stepped forward again, keeping the distance between you two even.

"I never wanted to be here, yet you treat me like I'm some sort of burden who showed up at your door- you force me to work, force me to be the therapist for children who need fucking help! How many overblotting students have I saved, huh? How many of those were ones you ran from, ones you refused to help with?! When have you ever been on my side? When have you ever stopped to think not of yourself, but me? What about ME, you worthless piece of shit?!"

You took another shaky breath, wiping the blood gathering on your lips with your free hand.

Crowley let out a small breath as you lowered your finger, and you turned around in a small circle to look at the crowd of students surrounding you. There were your friends, some looking concerned, other terrified. Grim was being held by Ace in a comforting gesture, the cat-like beast shaking. Some of the students had unreadable looks on their faces. Others looked confused.

"I'm done." You hissed, half to yourself, and half to the students. Although it was low enough so only those a few feet away could hear you speak, the word got around quickly enough, and the throng of students began whispering amongst themselves.

You ignored the offers of helps from your friends, and stormed off, back to the Ramshackle dorm, house of Nobody.

Ruled by Nobody.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

[hannieehaee]

Good morning!! (It's not morning I just don't know how to start this<3)

I was wondering if I could request a scenario or reactions to the members teasing you about your crush on them but you feel like they're making fun of you so you start distancing yourself.

(Doesn't have to be all members since 13 is a lot 🥲, I'd be perfectly happy with just HH unit or seungcheol or wonwoo) thank you and hope you have a lovely day!!🫶🫶

teasing you over your crush on them - hhu

hhu, vu, pu

content: gender neutral, angst (barelyyyy), fluff, the crush is implied to be reciprocated a lil bit

wc: 819

a/n: shdjsk hehe its okay it was morning for me when u sent this 😭😭 thank u so much for requesting this was so fun to write <33 i did hhu but if u or anyone else wants to request vocal or perf unit lmk <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

he'd get so cocky the moment he realized you liked him. he wouldn't be mean about it or anything like that, but he'd start acting overly confident around you ever since he found out about your crush. he'd 100% be the type to outwardly tease you about it. he'd start calling you pet names just to get you to react or even at some point bringing it up in conversation in front of other people and embarrassing you in the process. he wouldn't do it to actually hurt or embarrass you, but he'd just feel such a huge ego boost over it he just wouldn't be able to help himself.

the moment he felt you start to pull away and maybe avoid him a lil bit, he'd instantly feel deflated at your absence. the same way your crush gave him a daily boost, your distance would make him feel down. and he'd only blame himself over it, slapping himself over how cocky he could get sometimes without realizing. he'd try to work backwards and now be the one to approach you, this time with a much more chill attitude and try to subtly let you know that your affections were appreciated (and maybe even reciprocated).

wonwoo -

he's a little more reserved, so i don't think he would straight up tease you to your face. he'd be kinda subtle about it, maybe testing the waters by acting a lil bolder around you. if he felt like he received a reaction from you, he'd maybe flirt a little bit to get you to react and maybe also sometimes hint at being aware of your crush. at some point he'd probably feel comfortable enough in your friendship to tease you about it, still doing it in a subtle way but also relishing in the way you'd blush and avoid his eyes. he'd find it very endearing, so it'd make him wanna provoke it out of you more and more.

if at some point he felt you begin to pull away from him due to feeling put on the spot or embarrassed by his teasing, he'd feel instant regret. he's such a sweet and sensitive guy, he never would've wanted to make you feel genuinely embarrassed or ashamed because of him. he'd be the type to apologize to you directly, letting you know that he appreciated you and that he'd put your feelings more into consideration from now on. this would, of course, just make your crush on him even worse.

mingyu -

he'd straight up flirt with you and fluster you 24/7 the moment he realized you liked him. he loooved the ego boost. he knew he was an attractive and charismatic guy, so he was used to people crushing on him, but for some reason he just felt like teasing you in specific. he'd directly bring it up in conversation, not caring if there were other people around to hear. he wouldn't realize you were beginning to pull away until a little while later.

the moment he realized you were beginning to distance yourself from him, he'd just be kicking himself about it, knowing he could sometimes be a little too much for some people to handle. he wouldn't have meant to make you feel bad in any way, so he'd be super apologetic about it, basically begging you to please bring back things to how they were. he did like you, so he'd miss your attention and promise to shut the fuck up from now on and just bask in any attention you gave him.

vernon -

he's very much in his own world most of the time so you'd have to be super obvious for him to know you had a crush on him. he also doesn't seem like the type to tease you unless you were like established friends at that point. in this case, he would probably just occasionally laugh at the way you acted around him. if you blushed around him, he'd just chuckle, not even trying to hide his reaction to your flustered state. he'd also be a little more physically affectionate with you, enjoying how shy you would get.

his reaction to you pulling away would be a little confusion at first. he was kind of reciprocating to you, so he'd feel a a bit odd at first, maybe a little dejected. but then he'd reason with himself that he mightve made you feel like he was making fun of you. he'd feel awkward, not knowing how to make things right. he seems like the type to think actions speak louder than words, so i think he would try to show you through his actions that he'd just wanted to reciprocate and bask in your crush on him, never having had the intention to make fun of you. he'd step out of his comfort zone to make you feel his own affections towards you.

[yanaleese]

Meet Eunsung, your new Yandere boyfriend!

“Our glorious, heavenly idol, Eunsung was born from the beautiful seas of Jeju Island, Korea. Although he has no siblings on this piteous Earth, Eunsung is without a doubt - a pure being raised in the Yellow Sea. And with such beauty and talent, our Eunsung has reached the pinnacle of the world through hard-work and connections. As his colleagues, we are ever so proud of him! Forever and always.”

“And while we do wish his parents were here to see him, we hope that as our fans that you will give him your love, commitment - and your undying attention; just like they would.”

“So please, let us present our star of the show, Eunsung Sang-Cheo!!!”

With that announcement, his co-stars, U-Jin and Dak-Ho strolled on stage, before the ultimate idol bounced up with joy, beginning the show with his signature wink.

“Let’s dance together, Darling! <3”

And with that, you (and thousand others) screamed, cheered, and even cried as his theme song “Me and My Goddess” started playing. You could practically feel your heart thumping out of your chest, your heartstrings tugging with adrenaline as he reached the climax. And yet, as he continued minutes - no, hours at a time - you felt drained, tired…and sad? 

No, you couldn’t be this tired. You made sure to sleep early last night, kept yourself well-fed, and even did a little diet and exercise to keep your energy up. So..what exactly were these suffocating emotions coming from?

Sighing out of frustration, you tapped your boss’s shoulder.

“Kana. I think I’m out of it.”

“Again?!?” She cried out, her hands stuffed with merchandise compiled of the three idols. Each merchandise was filled with signatures, clearly a sign of her unwavering dedication and commitment to the cause. Compared to Kana, you were a casual fan swimming in the dark, bellowing ocean of “The Fandom”.

No wonder she was the Head of the Official Coralis Fanclub in the US.

“You can’t be serious, (Y/N)!!! Can you gimme, like, 100 more minutes?” Her tall, slightly chubby figure tilted over the other fans, trying to get the perfect camera angle. Her eyes were practically fixated to the stage, as if she was glued to it. “I just need…”

“Please? I really need a break.” Whilst you loved your boss, it was impossible for her to get out of her “fangirl” phase. “I’ll even leave you alone-”

“Unless I give you a backstage pass, right?” For once, she finally looked at you; but it wasn’t out of the kindness of her heart. 

It was betrayal.

“I heard it from my girls. You’re desperate to be seen.” 

You lowered your head, ashamed. 

“...And I like what I see.”

Immediately, you shot a confused glance. “...What?”

“What? What?” She mocked, as if she was a parrot. “I’ll tell you what. The next time you come back, I’ll promote your rank, give you free benefits and more!” She exclaimed, suddenly very pleased with herself. “But you owe me, dear (Y/N).”

Where the hell was this coming from? “I’ve already given you enough of my time with the meetings. I’ve recited every pledge, every word-”

“Choose.” Kana wagged the keycard in front of your face, now glancing back on the main stage. “Get your ‘break’ or miss out on the fun - again.”

Sulking, you obviously chose your break, knowing that your action very well will have consequences.

And with that, you quickly scurried off, searching for the nearest exit. 

Clearly, you weren’t getting paid enough for this shit.

-<>- 

Grabbing some more drinks and, food (mostly for Kana), you headed downstairs to finally meet your #1 idol. That way, he of all people, would cheer you up before Kana came down. After all, she was the only translator that could help both you and Eunsung communicate. 

Staring at the backstage pass, you tried to read what you could in Korean. But with no proper experience, you were helpless without your boss. So, you tried assigning the symbols with the symbols on the door.

“I guess…this is it?” You gulped, looking at the machine on your right. 

You remembered the forums saying that accessing the backstage rooms were difficult to access, depending on your rank. One of them said a friend of theirs could only use the card once due to how low they were in the food chain. You hoped Kana was at least a 3-star member.

Bubbling with anxiousness, you placed the keycard on the keycard reader. A beep emitted in response. “Good luck, me.”

Placing a hand on your chest, you walked in to find yourself…

…In the idols’ dresser…?

“...Fuck, fuck, fuck…this might not be it.” You turned towards the automatic door, gripping the doorknob. “I need to leave-”

Suddenly, the door swung open, barely giving both you and the idol time to react - causing you and him to crash to the ground.

“Oh my GOD!!! I am. SO sorry-”

Eunsung didn’t even give you time to apologize, as he slammed the door behind the both of you.

“오, 아니! 오, 아니, 아니, 아니, 위험해! 내가 뭐야 — ”

Confused, you tried to say I’m sorry in Korean. “Joesonghabnida!”

“That’s okay, that’s okay.” He said breathlessly, staring at you with worry. In an attempt to calm himself down, he bit his fingernails. He had to tell you what to do to avoid getting caught. “Uhm. I-”

He ran towards the closet, taking the clothes out one by one. He couldn’t care where he threw them, as long as he gave you a hiding spot.

Pointing towards the closet, he spoke as slow and alarming as he could for you to understand.  “제발. 여기 숨어.” He clasped his hands together constantly. “제발, 제발, 제발, 제발!”

Taking the sign, you nodded. Even though you were confused, clearly him pleading was for the safety of himself, or you. Regardless, clearly it was something urgent.

Good thing your Duolingo classes definitely came in handy. 

As you hid yourself in the closet, Eunsung removed his current outfit as best as he could. You noticed that he constantly looked back at the door in hopes of saving face. And as you watched him (by using the closet’s gap), you noticed that his personality had drastically changed. His eyes no longer showed confidence, his hair was slightly unkempt, and he began to stutter and quiver. But maybe it was because of the fans, or someone else.

And speak of the devil, that someone came in. Someone that clearly replaced your bright idol with a lookalike.

“또 한 번 뛰어난 활약을 펼친 은성 선수. 어머니가 열심히 지켜보셨고, 오늘 네 발전이 자랑스럽구나. 잘했다.”

The voice was similar to a young male. It was distinct and clear enough that it couldn’t have been U-Jin, nor Dak-Ho. So who was this guy?

The idol lowered his head, as if bowing to them. “멤버들, 특히 리더인 여러분들의 지원이 없었다면 불가능했을 것입니다. 어머니의 행복이 여러분의 행복이 되길 바랍니다.”

They came closer, their fingers caressing his face gently. Almost every finger was either littered with rings, or tattoos. This guy was screaming bad news. 

“네, 저도 그러길 바랍니다. 그런데... 왜 이렇게 난리야, 은성아? 평소엔 그렇게 까탈스럽지 않던데…” He crouched to the ground, disgusted. “...난폭하지도 않고”

“팬들과 카메라, 특히 엄마를 위해 최선을 다하고 싶었어요.”

I’m pretty sure Eunsung said ‘camera’...hmm…

“대단하네요! 하지만 너무 오래 걸리지는 마세요, 알았죠?” This time, the man returned to his original stance, plastering a fake smile. He even tugged at Eunsung’s cheeks, which almost made you squeal - if not for the bizarre situation you were in right now. 

“네, 선생님.” Eunsung uttered; there was no life in it.

Sir? You pondered. I mean, maybe it’s his loan shark? Or manager?

“다른 사람들이 당신이 바람을 피운다고 생각하게 하고 싶지 않아요…” The ‘manager’ titled his head towards the closet. “...그렇죠?”

Eunsung nodded once, his response quick and forward. Meanwhile you were scared and confused. But then the thought dawned on you: The idol industry isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Sometimes, even the brightest idol in the world dims in comparison to the evils of this world.

As the strange man closed the door, Eunsung carefully went over to you; his footsteps shaking. 

“Please…come out…”

Without hesitation, you stepped out of the closet, staring at those beautiful eyes of his. The idol’s eyes began to twinkle, as tears started to form around his eyes.

“I’m sorry-”

Suddenly, your arms wrapped around his, holding him tightly.

“No; I’m sorry. That was so terrifying for you.” As you held his shoulders, you could feel Eunsung tense up - causing you to snap out of your trance.

“Oh shit! I am so sorry! I should’ve-”

“Good…” He mumbled, blushing a tiny bit. “You’re good.”

“Ah…I…I see…”

Humming nervously in response, he pointed his finger. “You leave…now?”

“Oh right! Once again, I am so sorry for hugging you, Eunsung.” You made sure to use body language to make your point clearer. Internally, you tried not to die from embarrassment. 

“It’s ok. Thank you.”

He flashed his cute smile, sending you to Eunsung Heaven. So adorable!!!

“No problem! Take care, Eunsung.” You head to the door, whispering. “See you soon!”

Closing the door with a click, the idol sighed in relief; he prayed to his mom that he wouldn’t anger his boss again. Or rather, for the entire week. He’d rather deal with lengthy world tours than to see another fan getting murdered again.

Searching his small pockets, he popped in his blue candy, trying to relax. 

“I hope they’re doing okay…” Eunsung murmured under his breath in Korean.

As heaved another sigh, another thought came to his mind.

“If anything…I hope I get to meet them again…”

“...on another day…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! I understand there wasn't much Yandere-ness in this intro. But over time, you will see it crack through the asks and my art in the near future.

Also! If you are interested in Eunsung's lore, my inbox is open.

Additionally, if you're interested in this rando on the left, feel free to scroll using #karma or start with his introduction.

Lastly - thank you all SO much for 350+ followers! I appreciate the support.

Thanks again, everyone!!! <33333

[duskwoodraven]

I feel moved to speak, sooner rather than later because I believe time is of the essence and this needs to be understood in order to keep Moonvale from crumbling to the ground completely.

This is not completely spoiler heavy, but it will discuss the game. I should note that unfortunately I have not finished the episode because I am struggling with the mini games in making progress. So I do not know how the episode ends, but I need to say this in order for me to rest.

I am very angry and disappointed with this game, and even more than that, I hold a great deal of second hand embarrassment for Everbyte.

One of the greatest reasons I respected these developers during Duskwood is that the game never felt like a cash grab like so many games do these days. The option to make a one time payment for complete access to Duskwood was fantastic, an option they should have carried to here and that is the biggest grievance I have.

There is no reason a game should cost hundreds of dollars to experience and enjoy. There is no reason for the prices of gems to be as expensive as they are. This is unacceptable Everbyte, and you should feel ashamed of it, you should know better.

The beauty of Duskwood and what set it apart was its feel of realism and the fact that every question had a reasonable answer. Your use of AI art has cheapened the look of your game, not enhanced it, not to mention it’s insulting to use generated art when there are many artists who are already losing jobs to AI, artists who would have been happy to work with you if given the chance. If the cost of commission is too high, then use of stock photos you had before was just fine, and I believe you should have kept it, I can’t look at Ash and Charlie’s profiles without it striking me as goofy.

Furthermore, the story does not make sense, we were able to read chats because Jake made it possible for us, now it just feels like the return of a gimmick with no explanation, the same with the mini games, in the past we did mini games to “hack” into Hannah’s cloud, now we do it “just because”. It’s lost its feeling of meaning, not to mention most private chats are behind the gem paywall, which we never had to deal with before!

The characters seem more plain to me, or maybe they are loveable but I’ll never know because again, paywall. I can’t read the premium options and get to know them deeper because of it. There are also no profiles like before, which is awful because we can’t look back on past video calls and links and we can’t see what these characters are all about, their personality is gone.

Even MC’s answer options seem blander, more vanilla, repetitive or one directional.

I say this truthfully from my soul, if this was the style of of game you dropped but for Duskwood instead, I never would have played it.

I would have never fallen in love with it.

I would have never made this blog and would never have waited years for every episode and a new game.

I would have never made art and countless theories.

I would have deleted the game immediately.

So I’m asking you, begging you, please change this for our sakes, and especially for yours.

Because despite all my gripes and anger, and everything I’ve said, I know you guys have actually worked hard on this game because the evidence is there, hidden beneath it all.

I love the actual real life people you have for Adam and Eric, I was so moved to help Adam when he started to cry. I want to know why he knows us and wants our help. I laughed when Eric told us he had tripped, and I do want to get to know him. I even wished to lovingly twist Charlie’s neck! That is the game I remember loving, its writing and characters, I can see the potential here.

But you need to change something, otherwise I cannot support this game, I cannot force myself to play it. I will drop Moonvale.

Give the players a one time payment option for 100% complete access to the game, access to all premium options. That’s the least I feel anyone could ask of you and is biggest reason you are getting this backlash.

To my fellow players, if you agree with any of what I said then I ask you not to pay for anything until Everbyte changes to make their game more affordable. Don’t be quiet and please voice your opinions everywhere they can see it. That’s the only way something could change.

I am so sorry this is what we got… you all deserve better.

[bellewintersroe]

Sebastian Vettel x RBDesignEngineer! Reader 18+.

Set in 2013 during the GP, Jennifer is fresh out of uni and has made a name for herself within the F1 world. She joins Redbull-Renault as one of their engineer designers and easily fits into the team, forming friendships easily. Most of all, she captures the attention of three time world champion, Sebastian Vettel.

Part 10- here’s the LINK for part 9. This chapter contains smut, mentions of oral sex, protected sex (seb is an Angel ok) Seb and Jen are getting rid of some of the tension they’ve felt for months. Jen lets a little secret slip to which Sebastian finds quite embarrassing… Seb is shy🥺🥺 but also in the next few chapters I wanna explore his dominant, cocky side. I feel like this isn’t my best work but 100% more Seb smut incoming… taglist: @rainerax @peachiicherries @jaypreshpresh @mccall-muffin

Seb’s hand landed on the back of my head, deepening the kiss with just as much want and need as I offered him. My hands rested on his shoulders, the grey Red Bull hoody ever so slightly bunching up in my fingers. When I went to fall back down off my tip toes, believing the kiss was over, Sebastian dipped down, pulling me back by the waist. Our fronts pressed together as he firmly held me in place, lips moving against mine. He was bending me backwards, yanking my hips into his. I purposefully pushed forwards, hoping to feel the hard of his cock.

The kiss was getting a little too sensual to be in the hallway of a hotel, so when a family walked past, we awkwardly stood there whilst he fumbled the key card out of my pocket, clearing his throat with a head hung low. I accidentally giggled, finding myself unable to stop the burst of laughter until he closed the door behind us.

“What’re you laughing at?” He snickered himself, playfully putting a palm over my mouth, the other wrapping over my shoulders to pull me in closer again. “Just… it was funny, you were so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” He smiled, dropping his palm down to my chin as he caressed a finger on my skin. “No I said you were, not you are. Unless you actually are.” I rambled as he sheepishly glanced side to side.

“Now you are just putting words in my mouth.” The German squeezed my cheeks slightly as I went to argue back, but he’d kissed me, cutting my words off short. I hummed out a quick laugh, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. The laughter soon faded when he’d purposefully pulled me closer, stepping slowly until my back hit the wall gently.

The kiss was intense, our tongues were moving against one another and I felt like I couldn’t get enough. My fists balled around his jumper, pulling him closer, and when I felt the hardness in his trousers press up against my abdomen a soft moan escaped my mouth, remembering exactly what he’d been doing to himself last night. Sebastian reacted by bucking them up slightly, and I gasped, breaking the kiss, “are you ok?” He asked as I nodded, smiling back as I held his gaze.

Sebastian smiled and dipped his head, kissing down my jaw and neck. I gasped out, the intensity of his kisses making me breathless as I replayed the sounds of his moans over and over again. “Seb.” I whimpered, fingers raking through his hair. He continued his kissing as my head dropped back in utter arousal against the wall he had me up against.

“Fuck… I heard you last night.” I managed out as Seb paused, standing up a little straighter as he watched me with almost horror in his eyes.

“I-I heard you, saying mine name, everything.” His cheeks immediately warmed as I continued speaking, not wanting him to feel ashamed. “You should've come in.” I pressed myself closer to him, hands falling to his crotch where I grazed my fingers over the button on his jeans. God knows why he was wearing them when he was hungover. I kissed the corner of his lips on my tip toes, his smile widening as he held his forehead. “I am so embarrassed.”

“No, no. Don’t be.” I paused my actions, holding onto the waist of his pants instead. Sebastian swallowed, scanning my eyes. “I thought the door was shut.” He awkwardly laughed, head dropping as I meant back against the wall, swinging on his waist band ever so slightly. My pussy was throbbing thinking about him touching himself for me, I wanted to hear those moans again, I needed it.

“I didn’t realise you heard.” He laughed again, stepping a little closer. “Fuck.” He cursed, rubbing at his eyes. “It’s fine, Seb. I just… couldn’t exactly concentrate on anything else this morning.” I swallowed, maintaining eye contact with him.

“Why?” He half smirked, watching down to me, a hand planting on the wall besides me. A small shyness took over me as I giggled. “Thinking about what I heard, obviously.” I glanced at him up and down as he stepped closer, kissing my forehead before meeting my lips once again.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” I hushed, Seb hummed gently against my mouth. “I liked it.” I hushed as he let out a soft groan, sliding his hand down from the wall, to the back of my neck to kiss me with a stronger need, practically moaning against my mouth. My fingers then fumbled to undo his button, feeling a relief when I slipped his jeans down, resting my hand right over where his cock began.

“I need you.” Seb practically growled, rolling his hips into my hand, he went to make a start on my shorts, but I’d already pulled his cock free, glancing down to see his large member, rock hard in my smaller hand. We both looked down at the same time, making eye contact and smiling gently before I began stroking him slowly.

“I need you, Seb.” My voice barely reached above a whisper, feeling slightly shy as I began pleasuring him. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut, head falling against the wall besides me, lips pressing to the top of my head as I felt my stomach fill with butterflies.

“Have me.” His voice cracked as I let out a closed mouth moan, falling down to my knees for him at the admission. I glanced up, watching him mesmerised with me, our eyes met and I licked his tip, watching his face contort in pleasure before I wrapped my mouth around his tip, taking him in in my mouth. I hadn’t sucked anybody’s dick in so long, especially not somebody I found this attractive. I suddenly felt under pressure so I just remembered to make him as wet as possible, eventually using my hand to jerk off part of his cock I couldn’t fit down my throat.

Sebastian was breathing heavily, groaning each time I took him as far back. I tried not to gag and choke, but he was big and my gag reflex wasn’t the best. I sucked him a little more firmly, feeling his hand wrap in my hair, resting on the back of my head as he groaned, swearing out as he rested against the wall, feeling the bob of my head. “Fuck, that feels so good. You’re so good.” He grunted out followed by the sexiest groan I had ever heard. My legs tightened, feeling the desperation growing in my pussy. “Put your hands down your pants, touch yourself.” His words had me moaning around his cock. Who knew he had such a dirty mouth? I followed his instructions, moaning as I sucked a little harder, his cock muffling any noise that escaped my lips.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Sebastian’s hips bucked out as I gagged slightly. “Sorry, sorry.” He gently took hold of my chin as I pulled off with a gasp. “Are you ok?” “I’m good.” I nodded with a smile, sucking his tip as he let out a closed mouth groan, brushing my hair tenderly out of my hair. “Fuck, you could make me cum so quick.” Sebastian spoke as I giggled, allowing him to hold my head still, just in front of his cock. He pulled me up, practically lifting me off the floor as my legs wrapped around his waist. “Oh my god.” I laughed as he offered me a shy smile before kissing me with a hunger I almost couldn’t keep up to.

Sebastian eased me back onto my feet, hand stuffing under my shorts and under my thongs. I could feel the slick of my wetness against his fingers. My breath hitched as he rubbed against my clit, over my hole and eventually sliding a finger in. Sebastian had the most fucking talented fingers, he had me moaning and gasping for air in no time.

I could feel myself growing wetter and wetter as he used his other hand to rub on my clit, kissing me desperately as I whined and whimpered in his mouth, my legs shaking furiously. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” I gasped out the words in shock. My hips were gyrating in the movement of Sebastian’s and he was flushed in the face, mouth agape as he brought me to my peak.

“Cum, cum for me.” Sebastian muttered as I felt myself letting go, hiding my face in his shoulder as I felt the tightness in my stomach explode. My legs turned weak and I was borderline trembling, holding onto his shoulders for support as he coerced me through my orgasm. Holy fuck, no man had ever made me finish so quickly in my life.

“Fuck.” I cursed as he let out a soft throaty groan, pulling out of me gently. “Let’s get these off.” He slowly tugged at the waist of my leggings, “wait!” My eyes fell on the curtains. “Can we- can we close the curtains first?” I didn’t need any harsh, direct sunlight on me, not when I was getting naked in front of Sebastian.

“Of course.” We shared another sweet kiss, before he pulled his boxers back on, but kicked free of his jeans. When he went to close the curtains, I sat on the edge of the bed, smiling shyly down to my waist. Sebastian was slow with his movements, running a hand down my thigh before tugging at the material, freeing me of both my underwear and leggings at once. “I want to taste you.” His words were barely a whisper, but I let out a soft moan in response, feeling the warm wet kiss of his lips over my thighs. Sebastian moved forwards, pushing my legs aside slightly as he began licking at my dripping pussy. I was sensitive. My head dropped back with a slight moan as he dove deeper in, pleasuring me gently as he groaned into my core. My hand fisted at the sheets, tightening my grip around the white fabric as though I’d rip it.

“Fuck me, Seb.” I whined, hips bucking up into his mouth. He hummed against my pussy, hands smoothing over my thighs as he remained pleasuring me for a few more moments before pulling up again. “You want to?” He double checked as I nodded, perching up slightly on my elbows.

“Yeah.” I agreed. “I need ah- a condom. Fuck.”

“You don’t have any?” I watched him half naked scurry towards his suitcase, rummaging through. “I do.” He pulled one out, sitting on the edge of the bed to roll it on. He seemed nervous, a little shy- it made me feel I was losing my virginity again. Maybe that was a weird thing to think.

Sebastian climbed on top of me after discarding his t shirt to the floor. We were both completely naked now and I swallowed nervously feeling him brushing the tip of his cock against my lips. I always preferred sex raw, it felt better, but I wasn’t complaining, especially when I felt the stretch of his cock filling inside of me.

I gasped gently, Sebastian paused, lifting his head. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” I nodded. Hand holding onto his arms as he pushed himself up slightly, hands on either side of me as I hummed out a gently moan when he thrusted into me. “Let me know if you want to stop.” He muttered as I pulled him down into a kiss. “I will.” After that comment we moved into the love making, Seb fucking into me as he released all the pent up sexual tension that had existed between us before. The bed squeaked beneath us and our bodies grew hotter with the movements we shared.

When he was close to climax, his hand cupped my cheek, watching back to me with a pleasured expression that almost made me feel like I was dreaming. “Fuck.” He cursed, jaw tightening before abruptly opening again and a quick moan left his mouth. “Seb.” I cooed, lifting my hips slightly.

His head dropped down besides mine, lips pressing a lingering kiss to my cheek. “I wanted you for so long.” He dirty talked. In return, my legs spread wider and I pressed my hands into his lower hips, pulling him in harder.

“Harder, Seb.” I whispered. “If I go any harder, I’ll cum.” He warned.

“I want you to.” I moaned into his ear as he let out a satisfied groan at my words, catching me off guard with another kiss before fucking his hips into me harder, faster, there was more passion. Holy shit he was good.

As he reached his climax, I could feel the tremble of his tense arms, the way his legs wriggled slightly, chasing his orgasm. His breathing became heavier and his voice was clouded by grunts and slight moans I could tell he was holding back.

“Cum for me, Seb-” was all I managed out before he came crashing down, eyes screwing shut before his hips snapped and his body was thrown into an overwhelming orgasm. I don’t know how, or why, but Sebastian reaching his peak was so hot and overwhelming that I seemed to come crashing down after him.

“Fuck.” I cursed, head lolling to the side as my chest rose and fell quickly. Seb’s body crashed down on top of me, breathing eventually slowing down from his orgasm. I imagined what it would’ve felt like if he didn’t have a condom on, the feeling of being so irreplaceably full with him.

“Sebastian.” I hummed out a quiet moan, hand running down the back of his head, as I felt his hot breaths against the crook of my neck.

“Are you ok?” He gently cooed, chest flush to my own. “Yeah… are you?” I whispered as he pressed his lips to mine, hips rolling gently, barely even there, as he milked the last of our orgasms.

“Yeah.” He sexily sighed out. The two of us glanced down as he pulled out slightly, I grimaced a little at the feeling before he kissed me several more times.

As Sebastian was pulling the condom off and discarding of it, he began speaking again. “I could’ve… lasted longer, it’s just, you were really good.” My stomach knotted at his words, I smiled back to him.

“I like it, Seb. You were good.” I shyly pulled the covers over myself, sitting up. As I watched him, I was almost in disbelief that this had actually happened.

Only weeks prior we were ‘friends’ with an undeniable attraction, I never actually thought anything would happen between us. Looking back to when I was still with my ex, compared to now, I felt like my life had done a complete 360, and I was so excited to see what else Sebastian and I could get up to…

[murrpa]

heart wrecking angst⇩

•

•

•

In Deadpool 4, Logan discovers his presence in Wades universe messes up cycle of events and if he continues to live in it— the universe can collapse (butterfly effect kind of thing), so in the end of the movie B-15 and minute men show up dramatically a they do at Wades apartment, and escort Logan back into the headquarters planning to send him back to his “home”. Both Logan and Wade see the scale of this, and Wade soon is taken to talk to him one last time before never seeing him again since B-15 felt generous that day. So she give them this moment.

Wade scoffs: So now is the time? Hah, I should’ve known, TVA has every event written down to nanoseconds… I swear, it puts someone’s strict mother’s skill to plan the whole year in advance and never let her kid see the light of day without her permission at shame!

All that while Logan looks at him. Though he has so much to say, to confess, but decides not to do it, maybe because it’ll hurt letting him go more than it already is.

Wade approaches him: I… ugh, was not prepared, otherwise I would’ve pulled out my 100 page essay and read it to you in British accent as you walk further away from me into the sunset.

Logan: Wade?

Wade: Yeah?

Logan struggles. What is there to say now? His heart is aching, and cracks with each passing second there’s left. He wanted to say his life was at its fullest by Wade’s side, how he’s now changed man, all because of him. For him. That he will continue being that person in his world simply because Wade will be proud.

Logan: I might have my own place, my house and whatnot… But I never dared to call it my home, y’know?

Wade listens, no longer daring to quip a sound. And hazel eyes of Logan glisten in nothing but sadness. If that emotion could be painted— it would be him. Right now.

Logan: I wish the world was on my side, fair to me, to us, Wade.

His voice shakes. And he no longer cares to control the tear that soon oozes out the corner of an eye, to his hope, telling at least a tenth of all what his heart wants to say. Then it finally hits merc. Is this really it?

Wade: Peanut, I promise, it’s okay.

No. It fucking hurts. Wade never hated to say goodbye so damn much like now, but understands, that to love someone is letting them go.

He’s only doing it for Logan, for his universe. Sure there’s something that’s waiting for him, something better than this. Which what Logan deserves, after non consensual involvement in Wade’s goal to save his own world. After what he had been through.

Logan softly sobs: It shouldn’t be, I wish I had a choice. Because coming back is long time off my list.

Wade realizes his emotions reveal, a hot heavy tear drops off his chin, and fake but bitter smile grows to comfort Wolverine. Ignoring everything what’s falling into pieces in his chest.

Wade: I just… I just never want you to get into dangerous shit cause of me. I want you to be okay.

But Logan doesn’t care, even if his old life promises to be as peaceful as Swedish government. In the end, being next to Wade— suddenly makes chaos worth it.

Logan: I was okay, Wade, I was… so happy— but as soon as my foot steps through the teleporter…

Logan breaks as more tears rush down his face. His gaze locked with Wade’s.

Logan: … I will comeback being the same pitty guy you picked up at the bar.

But Wade protests.

Wade: No, nope, you’ll comeback better than ever.

He gives up smiling, then reaching out for the man, locking him in the most loving hug, arms wrapping waist, one digging fingertips into the shirt, and second one cards Logan’s hair. Which makes older man hate himself for not hugging Wade often before, when they were so happy, and lived under one roof not knowing this day would come.

Wade: You are, and always will be the best wolverine.

Logan hides his face in Wade’s neck, ashamed someone might see him, how destroyed he is with pain of leaving him, forever.

Wade: Thank you infinitely, for staying, saving my world.

Wade’s hushed voice sends chills, and throat begins to burn, yearning to say one last thing as he hears footsteps approaching.

Logan: Thank you for becoming mine.

(lmk if you’re interested in me writing full fic based off of this💛❤️)

[sourpatchys]

My personal Headcannons for Daryl Dixon that I will defend with my life

Just a warning! there is some nsfw❤️‍🔥 content in this list (not a ton)

This is a list full of random Headcannons I have, some are xreader related, some are just fun little things I’d like to believe because they’re fun

He l o v e s head scratches and chin scratches, just like a dog, his mom used to do it to him as a kid, it’s just really comforting to him

He is 100% dyslexic, he’s super insecure about it, which is why he leaves reading and writing up to anyone else who’s willing to do it.

This dude is secretly a math wiz. It came super easy to him, but he does tend to keep it on the down low because it was never something he was allowed to be proud of as a child, and it’s not really a needed skill anymore

I personally do not believe Daryl did anything hard while running around with Merle, Shrooms and weed were his limit 99.99% of the time, unless he felt pressured, but even then it would take a lot of convincing

He’s very self conscious about how thick his accent can get, he grew up in a much more rural area than the rest of Rick and Co. (apart from Maggie of course) and he feels out of place with his speech patterns at times.

Daryl was definitely a highschool drop out, assuming his birthday is January 6th, he left as soon as he was old enough to do it without a parent’s consent (18)

I just know this man never got his license. Can you imagine him paying his way through classes and taking a drivers test? I can’t. He probably just got a state ID for booze and just drove around illegally (if he got an ID at all, I’m sure he knew quite a few places that didn’t card)

He runs hot, the cold is a lot easier for him to handle than the heat, which is why he tended to wear sleeveless shirts or half sleeves

He has never had a “crush” in his life. He’s thought people were hot before, of course he has, but romance was never really on his mind

He’s not a total virgin, but he’s not exactly skilled either. His body count is probably 3, and I guarantee you he was not sober before, during, or after.

He’s a thigh and breast man. Hands down.

I know deep in my soul that this man enjoys some face sitting.

He’s not an overly sexual guy, if you were asexual he’d be okay with never doing anything, so long as you were happy

If you’re nonbinary, he was definitely mean to you at the start, with the way he was raised it simply didn’t make any since to him, BUT once you get closer and he starts to trust you, he might (he will) start asking some questions to understand you better

He isn’t a pet name kinda guy. He’s completely on board with calling you sunshine or princess, but anything past that just isn’t for him, and he really isn’t a fan of you giving him one either, unless it’s just a joking matter like how Carol calls him “pookie” from time to time

He’s a morning person and he hates it. He always wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, and every time he wishes he hadn’t.

He is definitely an insomniac, likely derived from having night terrors as a kid

He’s definitely self conscious about his scars, but not enough to cause issues if anyone happened to see them, he isn’t ashamed of them, but he doesn’t want to explain where their from, and he genuinely hasn’t thought of a good enough lie to tell instead.

When rick saw them for the first time Daryl had him fully convinced he was in a fight with a bear for about a week (rick never asked for the real reason)

He has a heavy sweet tooth, and likes to keep hard candy with him at all times (if possible) and he has never, and will never, pass up chocolate in any form.

He genuinely has chicken scratch for handwriting, he does not plan on ever attempting to make it easier to read, he enjoys the struggle people face when he’s put in a position where he has to write anything down. (Plus it helps conceal his errors if they do figure it out)

He does genuinely want kids in his life. Even if they can’t be his biologically. Being “uncle Daryl” is the best feeling he’s ever experienced, and he really wants to experience that with you if you’d allow it/want it (he would never pressure you to have kids)

Headaches and migraines plague his existence and they always have

He had super long hair as a kid and one of his punishments was his dad shaving it all off, which is why he kept it short until after the outbreak.

He would let you paint his toenails, or match his middle finger with whatever polish you decided to wear

This dude HATES clowns. Seeing a walker in a clown get up would absolutely kill him on the inside

You got sick? Don’t worry about it, he will absolutely attempt to make you soup from scratch using bone marrow and whatever else he can find

Fishing is not his thing. He knows how to, but he much prefers just catching them by hand or with a spear.

The closer you two get, the more likely he is to try and convince you that Bigfoot is real

Daryl is a secret star wars fan

He does NOT like country music, Led Zeppelin, Rob zombie, Ozzy osbourne and Lamb of god are much more his thing

He wasn’t a technology kind of guy, so if you tried to explain any aspect of social media to him he’d be completely lost (he didn’t even have a cellphone)

He has a super dry sense of humor

If he had to choose between starving to death or eating plain Cheerios, he would choose death.

One of the reasons he isn’t big on showering is because he doesn’t have a strong immune system from his childhood neglect, and he doesn’t want to shock his body and get sick

He also just hates the way soap feels on his skin. It’s way too sticky

During sex, he’s not strictly dominant or submissive, he’s ready to adapt to whatever you want, even if that means being strictly vanilla

He’s afraid of Santa Clause

And the Easter bunny

He’s willing to try anything once, even if he doesn’t think he’ll like it

He knows a lot of information on plants and herbs, so depending on your mood, he’ll try to find a flower to brighten your day with a little scribbled note explaining its meaning (because you can actually read his atrocious writing)

He’s never once told you he loves you, and your relationship wasn’t a spoken fact. His actions tend to speak louder than words, and if you say you love him, he will occasionally reply with a “back at ya.” Or “me too”

He always has weird shit in his pockets, like cool rocks he found, dead flowers, and fallen leaves.

He genuinely does not understand a single thing that Eugene says, and he never has.

The first time he ever kisses you on his own (you 100% have to make the first move) it’s a very rough and embarrassed act where he just grabs you and plants one in ya before you can even think about what’s happening

He will change his favorite color to whatever yours is, because if you can see beauty in it, then it’s all he can see from then on out

[joons]

okay no wait, I'm so curious your thoughts on the elvis mythology! I'm trying to think of an example haha. anyway, thank you for that food for thought. your takes on elvis are so interesting and kind of a different perspective than I normally see

Thank you! That means a lot because I do love going into his psychology and thinking about how he thought about things. And I love being able to engage with Elvis stuff from all different angles!

I can think of a few - like there will be people who were close to him who make such absolute statements about him: he refused to wear blue jeans, he hated eating fish, he loved eating peanut butter/banana/bacon sandwiches, he was afraid of germs, he wouldn't sleep with women who were mothers. But not all of those are true for him 100% of the time, or they seem to be big outliers where no one else has reported anything like that. And as you read more, you can see moments where he behaves differently than these big eccentricities that people pin on him, and you have to think about why that might be. You pick up little clues that you can put together to figure out what he meant. Did he have an almost pathological dislike of blue jeans because they reminded him of his childhood poverty, or did he just tell one of his band members that because he had made a brusque joke about the guy wearing blue jeans in front of a bunch of people and wanted to find a way to apologize without apologizing? Was he covering up behavior he was ashamed of, or was he revealing the real shame that drove him to look his best and make sure his entourage looked their best too? Did he actually have an aversion to women after they had given birth (unlikely, since he had relationships with several mothers), or did he want to give Priscilla a reason for avoiding her that she couldn't work around, knowing that she always went overboard trying to change herself to get his attention and getting rid of things she thought were coming between them (his spiritual books/Larry Geller/etc.)? Was this just one of a long line of excuses he made for not truly being in love with her and not wanting to try anymore? Did he actually eat the same sandwich every day, or did he just make a big deal about it one time because it was Lisa's birthday and he wanted to fly her somewhere special? And the other stuff he did eat every day, did he do it because it was one of the few things in his life he had control over, and could extract comfort from, or did he do it because, as he told Larry, he wanted to make himself sick of it so that it would no longer be a temptation? And how much of these conversations are either hearsay or someone putting words in his mouth to absolve themselves of something that bothered them?

The long and short of it is that people have sometimes reported things he said or did without any surrounding context, or it gets stripped away when it's reported elsewhere, and we are left with these moments that don't make sense or tell us anything about him unless we see how he dealt with them throughout his life, around different people, and see him as a whole person and not the Elvis Image that he tended to embrace when it suited him and resent when it hurt him. A really great moment that I think shows how Elvis tended to approach things is reported by Steve Binder, where he said Parker was telling Elvis absolutely not to do something, and Steve felt like Elvis just kind of shut down and mumbled "yes" until Parker left, and then Elvis' eyes flashed and he turned to Steve and said, "Fuck him," and did what he wanted to do. He was a people pleaser! A huge one! He valued loyalty above honesty. He was willing to lie to people he cared about if he felt that it would avoid a confrontation, and sometimes that tipped into a selfish "I want to do things my way," and sometimes that tipped into a selfless "I want them to have everything I can give them." And he waffled between those extremes because of his own low self-esteem and loneliness. I'm! Screaming! About this! At all times! He is an unreliable narrator, he's such a bubble of emotions that pops with the slightly scratch, he's so complex that you are not sure if he wants the bubble to be an opaque shield or a transparent boundary that you can slip through. He was testing people all the time to know if he could trust them with his heart without expecting him to be the Elvis Image, telling them things that were an invitation and a challenge and an insult and a declaration of love all at once, and so much of the problem we deal with now is that people are still completely uninterested in these depths. I???? Love him??? And the things he can help us learn about ourselves??? Just by trying to see him as he really was????

I don't know, I just get very overwhelmed!!!!

[missdaytonawrites]

liar • a. anderson

summary - manny and abby find you alone one night and take you back to the stadium, abby does everything in her power to swallow her feelings about you. even if it means pushing boundaries and lying. (enemies 2 lovers w/ abby's mean ass.)

WC - 4k

cw/tw - 18+ MDNI, post!outbreak abby, mean!abby, afab!reader, talk of guns and infected, seriously abby's unreasonably bitchy, talk of alcohol, abby cannot tell the truth to save her life, dom/sub dynamics, hurt/comfort kinda??? fingering (r! receiving) getting caught (if u squint girl, not really) apologetic!abby. slightly, every-so-barely, for a literal split-second... sub!abs, (mainly sub!r tho..) spitting, tribbing ooooh, abby smokes cigarettes, so does r! apparently, little bit of fluff, i kinda hate the ending?? maybe a pt. II to this will happen idk don't ask lol.

A/N - ..heeey people... here it is!!! i recently (like two days ago recently) gained a pretty serious injury on my pinky toe and i've been literally bed-ridden so i had no choice but to get this out. i love this song, i've heard this song live, this song is so request-this-is-based-on coded so!!!! (*edit* nonnie if u see this i hope u love it mwah) i kid you not i started writing this on the two-hour drive home from the paramore concert and i've just now finished it. i'm super personally proud of this and i will say -- YOU 100% HAVE GOT TO, LISTEN TO THE SONG WHEN YOU READ. with most of my other fics, it's really optional but for this?/!:?):!; put headphones in, turn this song on loop, AND THEN READ!!! it will completely enhance the fic. thanks 4 readin as always, love you crazy bitches.

"love is not an easy thing to admit, but i'm not ashamed of it."

this was fucking gross, the dirt was cold and wet. bordering on mud status and now seeping into the cloth of your shorts & t-shirt as you lay into the earth. you were tired and just needed some rest before you continued on. the old abandoned house you had been using as shelter became over-ran with some infected while you were out one day. so it was back to the forest floor for now.

gross, cold, and wet. the way she had found you, curled up and fast asleep on the ground, she almost wished that she felt bad. she didn’t though, instead for a split second she forgot manny had been following behind her as she took the barrel of her gun to press into the side of your face. she pressed in a little harder and you shot awake at the feeling of something touching your teeth through your cheek. your eyes fly open and they’re met with two shadowy figures above you.

one is a lot larger than the other, the one who had been poking you with the gun crouched down to get a better look at you. through her inspection, manny could be heard behind her muttering something about “we can’t just leave her here, abs.” abby didn’t really care for what he was saying, instead she was silently cursing herself for the emotion that began to crowd her train of thought. abby had toughened herself up enough so these sorts of things wouldn’t happen. she, or the rest of the WLF couldn't afford any emotional attachments. abby didn't need to be going out and developing crushes on sleeping beauties in the woods. yet here she was…

maybe that's why she grew to detest you so severely. treating you so harshly so her mask didn't slip, it was the only way for her. especially the night they found you. she couldn’t even begin to fathom how badly she wanted to just grab you up, take you back to clean you off and keep you safe with the rest of them. instead, she shook you (and manny’s new found excitement, like they found a stray puppy) off, pulling her gun away from your face and stepping about eight feet far from you to speak with manny.

it was back and forth the entire time, manny weighing in all the pros while abby lays out all the cons. true childish banter begins to ensue and abby begrudgingly agrees to bring you back with manny, claiming he’ll “deal with any consequences.” they walk back over to where you lay, awake and pissed. you had just started to fall asleep for fucks sake, “look, you’re coming with us. don't argue and just be grateful that it's we who ran across your ass and not some raider." abby sighs then pinches the bridge of her nose, you would like to argue but the darker haired one looks rather excited for you to be coming, so you bite your tongue for now.

it had been six months since that night… six months of falling in love with your new life at the stadium, six months of manny becoming the closest friend you’ve ever known, six months of training.. six months of a total cold shoulder from abby. you didn't even know if you could call it that, lord knows she never spared her snarky comments towards you at dinner or when the two of you got paired together on runs. always saying something about how you never do anything right, then carrying on while she tells you all the reasons they should've just left you there in the forest to rot.

you take on each day with your head high, trying not to let abby bother you. even if you couldnt seem to crack her fucking issue with you, reminding yourself that everyone else enjoys you and is glad you joined them. especially manny, he was a great pal, always sitting with you at dinner and reading with you. one night he had pulled you out of your book and talked you into having a drink with him, so you did. the two of you passed the bottle back and forth all night, intoxicating yourself enough to blab about abby.

“i just don’t fuckin’ get it, i guess.” taking another swig, you chuckle and hand manny the bottle back. “maybe i just see myself differently than she does.” he looks like he’s thinking and before he can say anything you start again, “does she talk about me? i mean, have i done anything to her that i’m just oblivious to?” manny doesn't say anything, just throws back whatever is left in the whiskey bottle and looks at you sympathetically.

“she doesn't really talk to anyone about things like that, maybe you did.. nobody will ever know.” you sigh and cross your legs. you and manny enjoy the silence for awhile before there’s some shuffling to the side of you two and then just like magic, there’s abby. rearing her mean little head like she heard you twos conversation. much to your chagrin, she did and as she takes her seat next to manny she whacks his shoulder and grumbles something along the lines of “couldn't save any for me..?”

abby's presence captures all of manny's attention while she talks him into going to grab another bottle, you sit uncomfortably and slightly tipsy as she finally convinces him. he gives you a little salute before heading off, leaving you and abby alone. you feel the liquor drop like an anchor in your stomach and your eyelids become heavy, you suddenly aren't sure how much longer you wanna stay.. where did she come from? if she was listening, why? you could have sworn manny said everyone else was out for the night..?

you’re so deep in thought that you don't notice abby has moved closer to you, and has been slowly muttering in your ear this whole time. it isn’t until she is literally snapping her fingers in front of your face, that you pull yourself out of your trance. when you turn to look her in the eyes, you notice just how close she had gotten. taking a sharp breath she starts again, even slower this time, like you wouldn't understand if she were to say it any faster. “i don’t see you differently, i see you for what the fuck you are… n’ i can’t say i’m the biggest fan”

you swallow and feel as if you’ve shrunk beneath her very gaze, “keep my fucking name out of your mouth, got it?” subconsciously scooting away from her, you nod quickly and avert your gaze. she snaps again, and your eyes shoot back to hers. “say it. tell me that you got it through your goddamn head,” and she moves closer. “now!” you squeak out a shaky “got it!” before standing and making your exit. on your leave, you can hear abby laugh at the situation from down the hall.

she has never taken something that far before? you can’t even recall a time she’s been that close to you before. guilt starts to float around you like a cloud above your head. you cannot believe you let her bother you so much that you left without saying a “good night.” or “thank you!” to manny.

flopping face-down on your cot, you conjure an idea; you rummage through all of your belongings to find some pen and paper. you write manny an explanatory note and let him know a little about what happened.

finishing up your letter, you can faintly hear him and abby laughing from your room.

“ah, abs.. you’ll have to get over yourself and tell her eventually.” he sighs and you can hear abby hiss at the thought. “nah man, i’ve already-” and then you remember how shes made you feel before, you decide you’re done eavesdropping and suddenly decide to no longer give manny the piece of paper you had been writing him. crumpling the note, you throw it at the wall and lay down to read.

an entire two weeks pass, you can confidently say you’ve not once thought about abby. her lack of kindness fails to phase you as the days pass. you’ve stopped eating with the group, opting for meals in your room instead. you’ve only really talked with manny only enough to ensure you and abby aren't partnered up for anything. it was smooth sailing for another two weeks, a whole fucking month passes and you cannot believe she’s really left you alone. you honestly didn't think she was capable, but alas, she hadn't even barely looked your way. you can’t help but let your mind race before you sleep about why? was she respecting your request? had manny scolded her? you remembered what manny had told you and settled with the fact that you’d never know.

one night, as you make your bed and pack your bag for the week, there's a quick rasp of knuckles on your door. “heeeeey! i know you’re in here, let me in.” manny, and he sounded drunk. unlocking the door and rolling your eyes, he stumbles in and flops down on your freshly made cot. “we have got to taaaalk..” he hiccups and rolls over to face you, “i need to know, please-” burping and then bursting out in laughter he rubs his eyes and sits up. “what reeealllyy happened that ni-ght.” you didn't think you could roll your eyes back any further than they did at that very moment, practically dismissing him you say: “i don't know what you’re talking about, what night?” burping, he looks at you like you’ve lost it, “c’mon, don't do that. i just want to know if she's telling me the truth…”

in that moment, your head whips around and you’re sure your eyes bugged out of your head. “the truth? what did she say happened?” manny matches the shocked expression on your face for a split second and then erupts in laughter, you worry for what he’s about to say. “look, don’t let this- this, don't tell her i said this.” swallowing and moving closer to him, you sit on the cot with manny while he tells you this extravagant story all about what “happened” that night.

apparently, that night, you told abby to her face that you thought she had a problem with you. apparently, on that same night you also caught an attitude with abby and got in her face. apparently, you stormed off in a drunken rage after allegedly jumping all over her case.

furious, you were so fucking mad. there were simply no words in the goddamned english dictionary to fathom how angry you were with her. she lied! right through her teeth! to manny of all people! about you! there was no holding back anymore, returning to the moment, you spare no gory details as you tell manny what really happened. to say the least? he wasnt very happy, you told him you were scared of her and didnt say anything sooner because you swore to “keep her fucking name out of your mouth.”

the conversation sobered manny up enough for him to apologize on abby's behalf and then exit rather quickly, leaving you to go to bed. you just can’t justify falling asleep, though. not until you make a plan, to your knowledge abby has no reason to be treating you the way she is; the only thing to do now is talk to her. you can be civil, at this point you just need to know why. so in a futile attempt to sleep, you rehearse with yourself what you’re going to say to abby tomorrow.

you wake up to bright sun, bam, right there in your eyes. you practically hiss and you turn away from your window, regaining your vision when your senses are flooded with an overwhelming scent of pine… you thought you were having a stroke, so you sit up and take in your surroundings. upon further inspection, and the realization that you’re definitely not having a stroke, you look around your space and low and behold..

there’s abby. hair falling loosely about her shoulders, still in her pajamas, sitting there just as annoying as the sun. you see her and glare, the tone of your morning immediately shifts and you turn away from her the same way you did with the morning light. grumbling something at her about how she needs to leave and how you two would do this later. you thought your point had been made until she grabs your arm and stops you from laying back down.

“look, i seriously can’t do this anymore.” she pulls you hard enough that you’re sitting up again. “i feel so fucking guilty, i don’t think i could even put it into words.” you almost laugh in her face, actually. “can’t do what anymore, abby? walk around and spew nothing but hate for me?” you realize how close she is and you reach out to shove her. putting some distance between the two of you, she opens her mouth to speak again but you interrupt her. “is it the whole lying to manny thing that made the guilt finally kick in, anderson?”

she returns to her spot in the chair on the far side of your room and sits, she chews her cheek while you rub your eyes. “don’t got anything to say now, huh?” she looks at you like she wants you to finish.. so you do. “i told you to go away, abby. we could’ve handled this later.” she stands up and walks over, sitting and occupying the empty space on your mattress next to you.

“i can’t keep living like this. fuck, fuck!” she shouts and stands, wiping her hands on her forehead. “i don’t know how to do this, and you aren't making it any easier.” you are genuinely astonished, in utter disbelief that she’s the angry one and that you’re gonna have to spell this out for her. “how about sorry? maybe go tell manny yourself that you are a fucking liar?!”

in that very moment, smoke might as well of blown out of her ears like a damn cartoon, “yeah. a liar.” she huffs and sits again. “lied to manny, lied about wanting you to keep my name out of your mouth.. lied about hating you.”

your jaw dropped, mouth literally hanging open as she continues, “i don’t know why, there’s no excuse. i am so fucking sorry.” she moves closer to you and puts her hand on your arm, gentler this time. “i haven’t said this to anyone in years, but i think i love you.” gazing down to her hand on you, then back up to her eyes you swallow the lump sitting in your throat. you don’t know what to say.

“abby, i,” you sigh and chew your lip, “i wish i knew what to say, this is all-” and then her hand moves up, silencing you when her thumb swipes over the expanse of your lips and then rests at the corner of your mouth. she leans into you and offers you two more words, “don’t talk..” then closes the gap between you two.

your lips are like heaven, everything she could have ever wanted. every night when she would fall asleep dreaming of them, this is it and more. she feels like she is fucking floating. she doesn't know what to do with her hands; they tangle in your hair, slide and touch your arms and then come up to cup your cheeks while she pushes into you impossibly further.

she breaks the kiss every now and then to mutter an “i’m sorry.. m’so so sorry, baby.” pulling away completely to admire you. she’s panting so heavily as she goes to pull your tank top up and off, immediately ducking down to take a nipple into her mouth. the cool air of your room hits you, head rolling back and around when you peer down at her, she locks eyes with you. pulling off you with a pop, she comes back up to kiss you again. except this time, its not a makeout, just short desperate pecks all over your face while she hurries to get your shorts off of you.

you help her out and shimmy out of them, completely bare, you fall back on your elbows and spread your legs for her. she lets out a low whistle and shakes her head, chuckling as she whispers, “goddamn foolish to deny myself of this..” bringing her middle and ring finger to rub circles around you.

she moves them down and pushes the two into you, twisting and curling them against your walls. you gasp and drop your head again, hands balling up into fists. abby notices your open mouth and kisses you again, pushing her tounge into your mouth and really fucking kisses you. her free hand rolls your nipple and then wraps in your hair, exposing your neck for her to suck and bite. “pussy’s so good..” whispering against your neck, fingers still fucking you while crude sounds bounce and echo off your walls.

she pulls her fingers out and hovers them over your clit. she looks down at your dripping center, wets her lips, and then looks back at you. “may i?” she asks and brings her fingers to her mouth to taste. her eyes knock to the back of her head and she brings her fingers down to rub you some more, “god, please let me, baby”

while you barely manage to moan out a response abby has already wondrously found her way down to your core, latching herself to your clit. she groans into you while your hips instinctively buck into her mouth. as if the sensation of her devouring you wasn't enough, her fingers plunge into you. writhing beneath her, your hands find a home in abby’s hair; and if her head weren’t literally between your legs, you would have stopped to comment on how soft her blonde locks are.

abby continues to fuck you with her fingers when all of the sudden, her mouth is pulling off of your pussy and delving into your lips yet again. the contact has you whimpering and an unfamiliar heat sizzles in your lower belly. you pull away from the kiss in attempts to speak, but to no avail as she simply just follows you back and keeps kissing you. “don’t run from it, baby.. don’t run from me.” she pulls away from your face and drives her fingers into you, fast and mean and determined.

your breathing quickens and you’re suddenly so much more aware of the way she's leaning over you, the darkness in her eyes, the way she’s heaving as she watches your body react to her touch. you’re close, so, so indescribably close to the edge; just about to explode beneath her when.. knock knock knock!

“abs?! you guys in there?” manny, banging on your door to innocently check the status of you two’s “making up.” abby’s eyes flicker down to yours and her free hand flys to her own lips, pressing a single finger to them, hushing you. “i got this, stay quiet.” she whispers and gives you a peck then clears her throat. “yeah man! we’re all good, just talkin’!” she shouts at him, never once slowing her pace while your orgasm just bubbles within you.

manny laughs, “cool, cool. just wanted to make sure you aren't like.. murdering her or anything.” abby laughs this time, murdering something else for sure, and lets him know you two will be out soon enough. you hear his footsteps trail off, and without a second to think, abby’s kissing you again. you whine against her lips and she coos, practically begging you to cum on her fingers.

“let go, give it to me baby, please.” your legs spasm and she chuckles, bringing her thumb to your clit as you gush onto her fingers. hips circling and following the movements of her thumb while you ride it out, abby watches in amazement. she removes her fingers from you as you come down, and makes quick work of her own bottoms. discarding them on the floor, she grabs one of your legs for leverage and swings one of her own over your torso. positioning her pussy right over your own, she trails a line of kisses down your calf and to your knee. resting her forehead against your leg and huffing when she finally grinds down into you.

your mouth falls agape, and you reach to touch her; any of her. her arms, her hips, her chest. gasping while she bites the meaty part of your calf, you buck into her and she throws her head back at the increased friction.

“such a good girl, y’know that..? so fucking good..” her hips rut back and forth and sweat drips from her forehead and runs down your leg. looking down at where the two of you connect, abby spits on to the both of you and fucks you harder. she’s the one to whine this time, so fucking pent up from living with you for fucking months and not already doing this. guilt starts to grow heavy in her stomach again and she whimpers then kisses your ankle, folding your leg to rest against her shoulder. she looks down at you and cups you face, clit still rubbing against you. “m’sorry.. fuck.” she grips your face harder and her pace quickens, incoherently mumbling out apologies and you feel your second orgasm start to swirl.

you shush at her and move your own hips quicker to keep up, “no, no abby, please..” she throws her head back again and her hands move to grope at your tits, you look up at her with forgiving eyes. nodding, as if to telepathically tell her that it's okay. that you want this and that you forgive her, she nods back and groans as loud as you’ve ever heard. you lightly tap her bicep and bring her back to the moment. whimpering, “gonna cum again, abs, please..”

she breathes and nods her head again, “m’almost there baby, almost..” sniffling, she really pushes down into you and her hips falter just slightly. “want you to cum with me, ‘kay?” she keeps fucking herself against you and you tremble, trying to move with her but you’re too lost in pleasure.

she winces and bucks her hips criminally fast; ushering you, and herself, to finally let go. she pants and sweats above you, her own orgasm crashing into her while you cling to her for dear life. pathetically writhing into her as you begin to unravel yourself. melting back into the bed sheets as she rides the both of you through your highs. her hips begin to slow and she’s kissing up and down your leg again. nudging her nose against your thigh, with a finalizing and triumphant breath.

you slowly creep back into reality and feel abby's weight shift off and away from you, just barely noticing her shimmy her shorts back up. she wobbles out of the room and returns with a damp towel, wiping the two of you down. she lets you lay and rest while she digs in her shorts pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, she takes one out and lights it, and then crawls into bed with you.

she tucks you under her arm and wraps your blanket around you both, taking a long drag from her smoke and flicking the ash somewhere to her side. exhaling and turning the cigarette towards you, she slides the filter between your lips and lets you get a good pull.

it stays this way for a while, quiet and still. wrapped up in eachother, you two finish the smoke together and she puts it out right on your concrete floor. she pulls you in even closer and kisses your head. you sigh and close your eyes, saying it back for the first time, “i love you too, abby.”

jeeeeez, editing this was sooo headache-flavored. anyway! happy reading! wish me a decent recovery, and also?? lmk if you guys want a more in-depth story behind my fucked-up toe or pictures for that matter lol!!!

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine you and Chanyeol acting like a couple but neither of you being confident enough to actually ask the other out

Chanyeol was just nice to everyone. That's what you must've told your fellow Red Velvet members a thousand times. Irene would always shoot you a look while Wendy would outright argue with you. They'd all tried to get you to confess your feelings to Chanyeol but you were terrified to. If he was going to like someone in your company it wasn't you. You were the same age as Irene and considering she was the most beautiful girl on the planet that was hard to compete with. Or he'd surely ask Joy who was gorgeous and tall like him. Or Seulgi who had those stunning sultry eyes. You just didn't get why he'd look at your beautiful members and choose you. Wendy would hit you every time you said but in your mind it was true. Chanyeol had a similar experience. His members constantly told him to hurry up and ask you out. Every time Lay called his first question was "are you dating Y/n yet?" and it drove him crazy. He knew the two of you were close but that didn't mean you liked him. In truth, he was a little intimidated by you. You were one of the smartest idols he knew and the way you spoke was so eloquent and perfect but you could also transform from bookworm to sensational performer in seconds and he respected that so much. You were so complex and multi-dimensional and he was just ordinary in his mind. So he felt out of his depth, surely you'd prefer someone like D.O. or Suho. Someone intelligent and sophisticated but Chanyeol jumped anytime a stage confetti cannon went off. At the next award show your group was in attendance and so was Exo which was exciting because your groups were rarely at the same event especially nowadays. You were looking forward to a laid-back night just enjoying performances when Irene, who was meant to MC, became too sick to go on. She could barely stand up straight so was out of the question and you all began debating who should do it but there was only one plausible option. "Y/n you'll have to go" Irene said and you froze. "But I can't! If they're expecting you sending me out is bound to upset them". Irene rolled her eyes and Wendy punched you. "Y/n you are beautiful and they will be happy to have you there. Now go get ready...go!" she said using her leader voice and it was hard to argue when she used that. So you went to get ready but were so nervous it only took you about 10 minutes. You couldn't sit still long and so the stylist declared your hair done. Luckily you'd already had your makeup done so now you just had to wait. You were freaking out so decided to go speak to Chanyeol who was also a host. Exo always stayed at the same dressing room so you made your way there in auto-pilot. Xiumin opened the door and smiled "hey Y/n! You look great!". You smiled back "thanks is Chanyeol here? I've got to step in as MC and I'm freaking out". Xiumin nodded "of course! Come in" and he led you inside calling for Chanyeol.

That’s when you spotted the beautiful man and despite everything, your heart still sped up a little just from seeing him. 

Chanyeol turned and stopped as he saw you. "Woah" he said "Y/n you look insanely good" he gaped and you smiled but he could tell it didn't meet your eyes. "Y/n what's wrong?" he asked. You sighed "I've got to fill in for Irene because she's ill and I'm panicking big time". Chanyeol nodded "sit down and breathe. It's okay, you're not alone. I'll be with you to help every step of the way". "You will?" you asked and he nodded "yeah I'll go see the director now and make sure we're paired together. You'll be absolutely fine". You nodded feeling a little better but still weren't 100%, "What's wrong?" Chanyeol asked and you sighed "everyone is going to be so disappointed, they're expecting someone beautiful like Irene and they get..." you trailed off ashamed to even finish your sentence. Chanyeol was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. "Y/n that's ridiculous. You know that right?". You shrugged and Chanyeol took your hand "Y/n look at me". You didn't want to, scared you'd cry and ruin your makeup but Chanyeol gently squeezed your hand and you looked at him. "Y/n you're just as worthy as anyone else. Looks and appearances don't change that and it's irrelevant but you're just as stunning as Irene. More so in my opinion". You shook your head "now you're just going overboard" but Chanyeol shook his head "I'm not" and his expression was deadly serious. You stared at Chanyeol in shock and he gently brushed away a tear from your cheek. You shivered at his touch and sighed "I should head back to makeup and see if I've done any damage. Thank you for this...I feel better knowing you'll be there. Thank you for everything Chanyeol". He nodded "you never have to thank me, I'm always here for you" and he hugged you. You lingered in the hug just enjoying the feeling of being safe before pulling away. "I'll come find you before it starts?" Chanyeol asked and you nodded, thanked him again and left. As soon as the door shut his members went suspiciously quiet. "Come on then out with it" Chanyeol called "I'm ready for the onslaught of teasing" but the members shook their heads. "No that was really...sweet" Baekhyun said. "Really?" Chanyeol asked and D.O. nodded "yeah you were really there for her and were so kind to her". Chen nodded "well done Chanyeol". Suho paused "can I ask...have you considered you might be a bit more than that? That you could possibly be in love with Y/n?". Chanyeol's mind went blank at the meaning of those words but he knew instantly what the answer was. He blushed and Suho shook his head "sorry that was a personal question. Ignore me. I agree with the guys you were wonderful with her" and everyone carried on like Suho hadn't asked that question and like Chanyeols's response hadn't answered it. Chanyeol stuck to his word and appeared at your door before they called you. "Hey" he smiled as soon as he saw you "you ready Y/n?". You nodded "let me just check my hair once more". "It looks nice" Chanyeol told you and you blushed "okay...then I'm ready. Guys I'm leaving:". "Good luck!" everyone called. "You look great together!" Yeri added mischievously and you glared. "Just ignore her" Seulgi said "but you do both look beautiful" she smiled. Chanyeol blushed "thank you" and you smiled at how cute he looked. As you made your way backstage Chanyeol explained how he'd sorted it all with the director. "You're a lifesaver" you commented and he smiled "it's nothing, if you need anything during the show or get panicked just tap your little finger twice against your card and I'll cut in, okay?". You smiled "you thought of a secret signal?".  Chanyeol nodded "why? Do you think it's dumb?". You shook your head "no I love it!". Chanyeol smiled "great" and you both arrived. You gave your names and they told you to get ready to go live and get suited up with microphones. You did as they said and right before it went live Chanyeol squeezed your hand "you're gonna be great Y/n" and he said it with such sincerity you believe it. "So how was it?" Seulgi asked catching you after the show and you smiled "actually not so bad. I mean I did have Chanyeol beside me so I kind of had it easy but it was fun. I enjoyed chatting to the idols and the presenting felt...way better than I expected". Your members all cheered including Irene. "I'm so proud of you!" she cried flinging herself in your arms and you paused "thanks...are you okay?". Seulgi frowned "she had a lot of medicine and it's beginning to set in. I'm taking her home but wanted to check on you first. Would you like to come with us." "Or you can come to the after party with us" Joy cried posing with Wendy and Yeri. She looked so silly it made you laugh and you nodded "I kind of feel like celebrating so yeah I'd like to go". "Chanyeol was so sweet" you told Joy, Wendy and Yeri making them smile. "He's always sweet with you" Joy said and you nodded "I know but tonight was something else...he gave this whole speech to me earlier in front of all his members and it was weird. My exs were always afraid to say anything emotional in front of their friends but Chanyeol...he's different". "He is pretty special" Wendy agreed and Yeri smiled "special enough for you to finally tell him how you feel?". You blushed but didn't dismiss it automatically as you usually did. This made the girls very excited and you couldn't help but smile "let's just see how it goes. I don't want to force it but if something happens naturally then yeah...yeah I might”. Meanwhile the Exo boys were already at the afterparty."So...you and Y/n had great chemistry tonight" Lay said and Chanyeol smiled "you think?". The boys nodded and Xiumin passed him a phone "the fans think so too, they know you're friendly and loved tonight". Chanyeol flicked through a few clips of the two of you together before laughing "is that really how I look at her?". "YES!" Baekhyun cried and the boys laughed. "I never knew that" Chanyeol said "I thought I had a better poker face". "No it's terrible" D.O. said "but if it's any consolation she also looks at you like that". "She does?" Chanyeol asked and he re-watched the videos focusing on how you watched him. He blushed when he saw it was true and paused "you might have a point". "Enough of a point to go ask her out?" Sehun asked "Y/n's just walked in". Chanyeol turned to see you, Yeri, Wendy and Joy enter together. He suddenly felt very flustered because sure you looked at him like that but did you actually want him? All his worries about you being too clever for him came rushing back and he felt anxiously impulsive. Did he go for it or didn't he? The second you were open to something natural happening with Chanyeol, Wendy, Yeri and Joy decided they would make something natural happen. As soon as you walked in Joy bought your favourite shot and they did their best to keep your energy and mood up. Pretty soon you were having a brilliant night and had been dancing for a few songs when a tall handsome man appeared in front of you. "Mind if I join in?" Chanyeol asked and you nodded "of course!" and danced together having fun. You'd had enough alcohol to make you feel buzzed and felt fully at ease despite how great Chanyeol looked or how your heart fluttered. When the song turned to more of a ballad you laughed at the look on Chanyeol's face and gently put his arms around you. "Here, we can slow dance, if you want?". "Yeah I want to!" Chanyeol agreed and you swayed together. "You did amazing tonight” Chanyeol said smiling down at you and you blushed. "Well if I did it was only because of you" You replied "I got through it because you were beside me". Chanyeol blushed "I'm pleased I have that effect, that I can be useful to someone like you". "Someone like me?" You asked confused and Chanyeol paused "I just meant you're so intelligent and put together that I'm pleased I could help you in any way. That I could support you...not that I wanted you to struggle of course!". You smiled "I get what you're saying Chanyeol and you're so sweet. You've always been so kind to me even from the start". Chanyeol chuckled "yeah I have always had a soft spot for you" making you blush "you have?". He nodded "yeah the guys always mention it. How i'll say no to something they ask me to do but if you ask I say yes. They call it favouritism but I call it common sense. Of course I prefer you to them". You blushed "I feel honoured and don't know what I did to deserve such lovely treatment". "You were you" Chanyeol shrugged "simple as that". You went to speak and then trailed off "I don't know what to say...". "You don't have to say anything" Chanyeol replied and he looked at you with those big beautiful eyes until you decided enough was enough. "Actually I do know what to say...I like you Chanyeol, as more than a friend and I want you". "You do?" Chanyeol asked, his big eyes going even bigger and you nodded "yes". "I want you too and always have" Chanyeol admitted and kissed you. The girls were dancing nearby and Yeri spotted you first. She gasped and yanked Joy's arm "look! It worked!" she cried and Joy and Wendy turned to see the two of you wrapped up together. "Yes!" they cried and the three girls did a victory dance leaping around together which made the Exo members look over and also gasp. They began to cheer and you both broke apart at the noise. Chanyeol motioned for them to shut up but they just cheered louder making everyone look over at you. You were both blushing but Chanyeol hadn't let go of your hand. "Come on" you said leading him away and he followed you out into the crisp night air. You both laughed at the situation and how goofy your members were before going quiet realising what just happened. "So you really want me?" Chanyeol asked and you nodded "yes". "Even though I'm not...as clever as you'd like". "As clever as I'd like?" you asked and Chanyeol nodded "yeah you're way smarter than me so thanks for looking past that I guess". "Chanyeol there was nothing to look past! I don't care what your IQ is the main thing I care about is that you're a nice person and you are! Plus you're not stupid, there's a lot I admire about you including your brain". Chanyeol was surprised at that but pleased so his smile returned "and what are these other parts of my body you admire about me?" he asked coming closer. "I never said they were body parts" you argued and he smiled "no but your eyes did" making you blush. "Dammit!" you said pretending to be angry and Chaneyol laughed tilting your chin up so he could kiss you. It was a lot softer and sweeter outside just the two of you and it felt perfect...until you were interrupted again. "Hey Chen you were right!" Sehun cried before pausing as you both pulled apart and looked at him. "Don't stop on our account!" Baekhyun cried "get it Chanyeol" and Chanyeol shook his head at him. "So this is cute" Kai smiled and you both blushed. "I finally told her how I feel...or more accurately Y/n told me and I followed" Chanyeol admitted. "Knew it!" Xiumin cried and he patted Suho "pay up". "You bet on this?" you asked and they nodded "yeah who would break first" and several other members exchanged money too. "Unbelievable!" Chanyeol said and you both laughed. "We'll leave you alone now" Suho said "unless you want a ride back home with us?". You paused not sure how quickly you wanted to move but Chanyeol sensed this and smiled "thanks but I think we're going to hang out for a bit" and he waved the guys off. You spent all night together but not in the typical way. You found a late-night bowling alley and played a few games together. Chanyeol gave you some tips which was really just an excuse for him to wrap his arms around you which you both knew but neither of you minded. Then you played in the arcade until the early hours of the morning. Chanyeol dropped you off at your place feeling invigorated even after getting zero hours sleep. He walked you to the door and was just about to kiss you when the door opened and Irene appeared. She blinked as she spotted Chanyeol and flushed "oh sorry we're the two of you...I was just happy you were home. Carry on" and she closed the door. You blushed thoroughly embarrassed but Chanyeol found it hilarious. "Suho's the same with us, that's probably why they get along so well". You nodded "yeah that makes sense, see you are smart" and Chanyeol blushed adorably. "You're so cute" you said and reached up to kiss him. You only intended it as a peck but Chanyeol wasn't letting that good an opportunity pass and when you were still outside 10 minutes later Irene appeared "Y/n bring him inside if you're going to do that, what will the neighbours think?" making you both burst out laughing. Irene was deadly serious even as you and Chanyeol wiped tears from your eyes. "It's okay don't worry I'm leaving" Chanyeol said and Irene nodded taking your hand as if to stop you going with him. "I'll text you" Chanyeol said and Irene nodded "I should hope so" making you both smile. You knocked her arm and Irene sighed "sorry Chanyeol just our Y/n's special and I want to see her treated right". Chanyeol smiled "don't worry, I intend nothing else" and after saying goodbye to you both he walked away. "You'll probably want to rest after being out all night" Irene said "but I could make you some breakfast or something if you're hungry?". "No I'm good, I'm going to drink some water and I promise I'll go to bed soon" you said and Irene nodded "make sure you do" and patted your shoulder. You sat on the window with a glass in your hand and watched the beautiful sunrise but to be fair anything would've looked beautiful to you that morning...because Chanyeol was yours. As if summoned a text lit up your phone from Chanyeol himself asking if you were free this evening for dinner. You smiled and let yourself enjoy this moment. You'd earned it.

[captainpirateface]

On that tour I was a mess quite honestly. This was the peak of Nine Inch Nails newfound rocket ship of fame. It distorted my personality and became overwhelming: to deal with having everyone treat you different, to going from not being able to afford a gas bill to show up to arenas full of people, who kind of think they know you.

The line starts to blur between the guy onstage and the person you used to be. My way of dealing with life was to numb myself with drugs and alcohol because it made me feel better and more equipped to deal with everything. My career was skyrocketing, but the scaffolding that was holding me up as a person was starting to collapse. I wasn’t fully aware of how bad it was getting, but I knew in my heart that I was on an unsustainable, reckless, self-destructive path. When I met David he had been through that. And he was content. He was at peace with himself with an incredible wife, clearly in love. There were a number of times where the two of us were alone, and he said some things that weren’t scolding, but pieces of wisdom that stuck with me: “You know, there is a better way here, and it doesn’t have to end in despair or in death, in the bottom.” A full year later, I hit bottom.

Once I got clean I felt a tremendous amount of shame, of my actions and missed opportunities and the damage that I’ve caused in the past. And I thought back to the time when we were together a lot and I wonder what that could have been like if I was at 100 percent. The “I’m Afraid of Americans” video falls into that category of me at my worst — out of my mind and ashamed of who I was at that time. So when I see that, I have mixed feelings — grateful to be involved, and flattered to be a part of it, but disgusted at myself, at who I was at that time, and wishing I had been 100 percent me. And it nagged me. A few years later, Bowie came through L.A. I’d been sober for a fair amount of time. I wanted to thank him in the way that he helped me. And I reluctantly went backstage, feeling weird and ashamed like, “Hey, I’m the guy that puked on the rug.” And again, I was met with warmth, and grace, and love. And I started to say, “Hey listen, I’ve been clean for …” I don’t even think I finished the sentence; I got a big hug. And he said, “I knew, I knew you’d do that. I knew you’d come out of that.” I have goosebumps right now just thinking about it. It was another very important moment in my life.

-Trent Reznor

[thedoctorisgroovy]

Schooled

Chapter 2, chapter 1 can be found here!

» Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

» Word count: 1558

» Warnings: invasion of privacy, kidnapping, typical CM violence level, slight non canon timeline as Hotch is in charge, some fluff, mosly angst

» A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT! 100 notes is such a big deal for me omg. Still pretty heavy backstory, Still using y/n, s5 spencer in my head, All statistics are made up! (mostly) I actually researched kidnapping for this lmao.

Taglist: @esposadomd, @gghostwriter @inlovewithelliewilliams @the-quackson-brothers @lonelymuffin @lobstertalk

After a year of working with the BAU, you thought you would be used to hearing “We have a new case” by now. Yet every time you sighed deeply, anxious what potential horrors you were to bear witness too. Peeling yourself away from your desk and to the briefing room, everyone was sat around the table, with an empty seat next to Spencer. You took your seat, and JJ - the teams’ liaison averted your gaze as she pressed the clicker to change the slide on the screen while explaining the details of the teams newest case.

“Local PD have asked us to come and help them, this is the 6th disappearance in 2 weeks with no explanation for where they’ve gone or why…” JJ’s voice fades into the background as you read the Powerpoint slide.

It takes a second to process the words on the screen but once it does, you blood runs cold. “Your Town Name” is right there, next to missing posters of kids. Your breath hitches in your throat, a half gasp/half choke and everyone turns to look at you. Spencer leans back in his chair and places a hand gently on your knee. Looking at you with worried eyes he asks if you’re okay under his breath.

“But that’s where I grew up!” You blurt out without thinking, frantically standing and pointing at the screen. Spencer’s hand drops from your leg as you stand and he reaches for your hand that’s down by your side instead. You bat it away and instantly feel horrendous, grabbing for it in the empty air to ground yourself.

“We know.” JJ and Garcia said in unison solemnly, looking down at the floor almost ashamed. Of course they knew. JJ would’ve asked Garcia to research the town once local PD got in contact and due to the extensive background check that the FBI make you go through, the town’s name would’ve flagged up as being attached to your file. Knowing Garcia, she would’ve snooped and discovered that you grew up there and where you went to high school. You loved her and knew that it was literally her job to investigate but you couldn’t help the annoyance bubbling in your chest. Even though there was nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s not like you had some big secret you were hiding in your personal files, but being here meant you’d left that town behind. You’d got out and done something important with your life, but here it was, dragging you back and down with it. Looking at their faces, you could tell they felt guilty for their curiosity and squeezed Spencers hand to calm down.

“We understand that this might be a conflict of interest for you Y/N, and I understand if you need to sit this one out,” Hotch said evenly and seriously, “however, we think that you and Reid are our best options for catching this unsub and bringing these kids back home.” You sat back down, loosening your grip on your boyfriends hand ever so slightly, awaiting your instructions. You looked over at Spencer but his eyes were glued to Hotch, even more curious as to where this was going.

“Wait how do we know that there’s an unsub?” Agent Morgan questioned, “Sure 6 kids going missing is weird but it doesn’t mean someone’s taking them. Maybe they got fed up of living in a small town like Y/L/N and dipped. It seems like they’re all seniors after all.” Morgan threw a joking but soft smile your way. It wasn’t often that he didn’t tease you but he could tell that now wasn’t the time.

“We don’t, but it seems highly unlikely that in 2 weeks, all these kids just decided to up and leave at the same time. Local PD told us that they go missing precisely during school hours. They turn up for home-room and first period but by the end of the day they’re nowhere to be seen and don’t come home after school. ” JJ stated, clicking to the next slide on her presentation.

“Wait two weeks? If this is a kidnapping why are we only just being told? Everyone knows that the first 72 hours are the most important in finding a missing person. At 2 weeks, there’s only 12% chance we’ll find them alive. Did you know that 81% of kidnappings victim are aged 12 and over...” Spencer butted in, demonstrating his statistical knowledge he’s had to memorise a little too well after being in this job for so long.

“I know.” JJ replied a little defeatedly cutting him off. “Local PD just thought they were runaways like Morgan said until student number 4.”

“So someone’s taking them out without anyone noticing, hiding them somewhere and returning all within what, an hour? And then returning to whatever they were doing before? If our unsub is a teacher, he’d have unfettered access to the kids without anyone batting an eye. And if he’s a student, it would look like they’re leaving school grounds for free period or something.” Agent Prentiss mused.

“Since they’re going missing while at school, we wanted to try something that we don’t normally do. Agent Y/L/N and Dr Reid, you’ll be going undercover posing as a teacher and a student.” Hotch asserted looking at you both across the table. The room froze. Undercover? “We’re profilers, psychology nerds with permission to carry” you thought and could tell the rest of the team were thinking similarly. In a room full of behaviour analysts, it wasn’t difficult.

“Reid, you’ll be substituting as a Maths teacher. We want you to talk to all the faculty and get to know them. Befriend everyone as best as you can, see if they’ve noticed any of the other teachers doing anything out of the ordinary. Teachers gossip, and if our unsub is one, you’re bound to find out in the teachers’ lounge. ” Hotch continued, mildly ignoring the confused glances being shot around the room. Spencer nodded slowly and then started to write furiously in his notebook.

“Y/L/N, you’ll be posing as a student - a fellow senior. Since you’re the youngest and look the youngest, you should be able to fit in convincingly enough.” You cringed internally, knowing at your big age you could still pass for a teenager.

“Talk to the students, befriend them, ask them what the students were like before they went missing. Any displays of odd behaviours, anything that can help us connect their victimology. Currently, there’s no obvious connection between the missing students. We’ll finish debriefing on the jet. ”Hotch finished the meeting with a dismissive clap of his hands.

You thought you heard a vague “wheels up in 30” but you couldn’t be sure. Even though you’d all been dismissed, nobody moved. They were too busy studying your body language. You felt dizzy, overwhelmed, confused. You weren’t even sure why you were reacting so dramatically. No one you knew or were even close to was hurt or in danger, so there was no personal connection or worry. High school wasn’t even that bad for you! Feeling eager and curious faces on you, you decided to stay silent for a couple seconds longer, you didn’t want to speak without being coherent or having figured out what was going on inside your head. Then the lightbulb hit. You felt like a failure. All the time and effort spent studying and working felt pointless. There was a common thought process around your old hometown that no one leaves or amounts to anything. You live, work and die there, but at 18 you’d decided that wasn’t your fate. Going back for a case wasn’t actually returning though you realised and once you’d caught the unsub, you’d be leaving again, back to your real life with your best friends and wonderful boyfriend who hadn’t let go of your hand during this entire internal dilemma.

“Yep I’m fine. Wheels up yeah?” You stated suddenly but genuinely, and everyone breathed a subtle sigh of relief. Now that the energy was back to normal, Morgan took the opportunity to tease you as you all left the briefing room to head back to your desks to pack up. Pointing out your baby face and height and the fact you’d have to go back to class - not forgetting to include Dr Reid, asking if he’s gonna wear a tweed jacket with elbow patches. Spencer followed you closely behind, not even bothering to go to his desk, just hovering around you while you packed and joked with the rest of the team. You could tell he wanted to pull you to one side and have a proper discussion about how you’re feeling. Every time you caught his eyes, they were full of concern and sadness, but you decided to wait until the plane journey. You secretly loved how much you worried about each other and subconsciously wanted to just stand there and hold him for 5 minutes. Breathe him in as he hugged you and stroked your hair. You caught his eye once more and nodded to his bag, a sign to not worry and gather his things. The first 72 hours were the most crucial like he said however, and since it had been two weeks, all you cared about now was getting to work.