#like bruh fuck all the way off
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I finally figured out how to play mario kart on the switch 😭
#i can’t stand this lame ass console omg#now i just gotta get smash bros down too#and i am not looking forward to that#frankly I’m still upset that I waited DECADES for daisy to be playable#and they just made her peach in an orange dress#like bruh fuck all the way off#they are NOT THE SAME AT ALL#not even in personality TF#why does luigi get his own moveset but not daisy?#bullshit 🙄😒
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people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.
#eliot posts#this is continuing off that last post i reblogged#that time i was like ''aw tumblr is out of new posts for this character i like. reddit is empty too. lemme check twitter''#BIG MISTAKE#i had to see the hot take of#''it's fucked up to ship this because character A had to be character B's caretaker. that's basically slavery.''#LIKE BRUH???#have you. ever met a couple where one of them is disabled and needs a caretaker? bc that's a very real thing that happens and it's not toxi#honestly usually the risk in those situations is the power the caretaker nay have over their disabled partner#but that imbalance can be properly navigated#and is not a concern in these two characters' case bc there is a very clear mutual respect there#caregiver fatigue is a real problem too of course but that's ALSO something that can be successfully navigated#and in these particular characters' case doesn't seem like it would be an issue because like#character b also has professional caretakers who will likely continue to be part of his life if needed#(and the money to hire more if not)#like it's okay to not like the ship#maybe the age gap of someone in their 20s w someone in the equivalent of their 30s squicks you out#maybe you monogamously ship one or both of them w someone else#maybe you think their dynamic is way more interesting from a platonic angle than from a romantic one#maybe you just aren't interested in their dynamic#those are all fair points! i'm not even ride or die for that ship myself#but jesus fucking christ you don't gotta be ableist about it#oh or the equally bad take i saw on there of#''character a could never be attracted to character b. he just sees char b as a sick dying old dog that he needs to take care of''#like no! character a clearly respects and values character b! they are friends! the issue is just that YOU see character b as a dying dog.
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How do you think the fandom somehow turned Horror into a really nice sweet guy who can practically do no wrong when his original counterpart is just such a fucking dickhead
ERUAGH this topic always intrigues me as a proud asshole horror truther BUT ALSO i love fanon horror too 💔💔 because for me i was "there" for the og years of horror's character getting turned into this total baby but i wasnt THERE THERE (aka here on tumblr because i didn't even know what tumblr was back in like 2016-17 💀)
so for me i can only guess. imo i think it was just a combination of flanderization & lack of canon knowledge PLUS the fact that the only info that was first known about horror himself was just from the flashgame (since all of chapter 1 of horrortale is about toriel and the ruins so by then horror's already got an established stereotype and image and people just dont read the comic enough to actually correct this). its just a bunch of layers of mischaracterization that quickly piled up and its packed TIGHTLY now in this current age
horror in the flash game is presented REALLY simply,,,, he's just this guy that taps on wood with a cleaver that kills you if you get too nosy or dont listen to papyrus and makes jokes about food. we dont know if he doesn't eat food at all yet since the panel establishing that horror hasnt eaten food in 7 years comes out in 2018 in pg44 💀 (and technically the hint that he hasn't eaten humans at all came out in pg33 but again making comic pages takes awhile and i know that horrortale's had its fair share of hiatuses thru the years,,,,) so this lack of knowledge about his hunger can ALREADY lead to the "foodie" trope that he has since he makes jokes about head dogs n stuff
the protective part can also be assumed by how he's always making sure that aliza plays along with papyrus's games and when we get later into chapter 2 and learn about snowdin that he also provides for everyone there by feeding them with humans. i always see people bringing up these arguments of how "OH WELL horror feeds everyone in horrortale and protects them from undyne so he'd do the same for others too!!!" well yeah sure but like,,,, he also feels incredibly guilty about the position that he's put them in and feels obligated to do that just because,,, MAYBE he'd provide for others like how he does in snowdin but REALLY? youre using the bare minimum of him providing BASIC FOOD AND PROTECTION as a way of justifying his protective tendencies??? i feel like that could work better (in a bad sanses context. because you always see this bullshit in nightmare's gang,,,,, (nightmare is a catalyst for bad characterization WHEN I CATCH YOU WHEN I CATCH YOU)) if his provider tendencies were given a more unique approach than just feeding them and stuff. horror wouldn't have the same attachment he had to snowdin with any of the gang so he wouldn't treat them the same or even similarly!!! AT ALL!!!!! oops i got sidetracked BUT ANYWAYS
and then for the big bear giant thing where people make him 3x the size he normally is (WHICH IS PEAK KEEP DOING IT,,,,,, epaugh small dust big horror would be the second only thing to put me to death if i was 95 and on my deathbed. right after any mtt fanart poly or not) i feel like just came from the simple idea of Big=Scary because idk megalophobia or smth. like people saw him and maybe horror was too much of a kicked puppy to be scary in their eyes so people were like lets size him up!! i do remember seeing a post where the reason why people hced horror was big was bc all his limited magic was put into sustaining his body and thats why his bones are thick but that just like,,,,, doesn't make sense to me. like even animals here on EARTH with normal diets have limited growth capacity simply because a larger body means more sustenance for it so why would he be bigger if that would just make him hungrier??? nevertheless I STILL LOVE DISPROPORTIONATELY BIG HORROR but unfortunately it does contribute to fanon horror 💔💔💔
this fandom is notorious for not reading canon info too sooo,,,, LIKE I SAID it was a mix of lack of canon info + horrortale being underdeveloped + flanderization of his basic traits which were then amplified when people came up with hcs for this flanderized version of horror and not his canon one. i mean you gotta be honest that fanon versions of characters will almost ALWAYS be easier to make fun jokes and art and writing of just bc of the fact that they are simpler!! almost all of the utmv au characters have this trait where their fanon version is a really really REALLY simplified/flanderized version of themselves which like,,,, you go you! just make sure to read horrortale pls :3 its peak fiction pls :3 the comic is so fire :3 the gore isnt really that graphic (in my opinion) you might be able to stomach it :3
#i find it so funny that people just like outright forget that these guys. these guys are murderers bruh#like SURE ok hahaa horror put human into that meal. but remember that he had to kill a person for that#dust might be baby and bunny but his entire story is one about coping with grief about your terrible actions AKA MURDER. HES MURDER SANS#killer is totally girlypop and yes he deserves a happy ending but he killed a SHITTON of people. ermmmmm Cancelled!#its just so funny to me because only dust gets to be remembered as a murderer most of the time in fanon nm's gang#he's always the one with the LV CRAZES 👹👹👹 and LV URGES 👹👹👹 and PHANTOM PAPYRUS 👹👹👹👹#probably bc like 60% of his character is about that compared to killer and horror but STILL#a LOT more emphasized is placed on dusts killings in his canon content than hrkl#and people mostly just focus on killer's dynamic w nightmare and then yk. just sending horror off to the kitchen for the 85th time#personally i dont really gaf and care. HONESTLY i love fanon i love seeing other people's ideas :3#but 4 me im a FIRM believer of 'if you wanna see ___ and there is none of it then YOU have to make it'#if the world does not have the change you wish it had then you must be the one to pioneer that change#i mean you have a right to be upset and fanon and how they fucked up pookie#but also you are not being forced to think of pookie in fanon context in your head#sure all the other content might be able fanon pookie WHICH YOU HATE#but if you just suck it up and persevere and pioneer then youll find people like you#and then all you fellas can create your content content about your preferred idea of pookie!!! BOOM!!! problem solved#but i do think that critisms of fanon content should honestly be more common and widespread but still#to me other people are still having fun with these simplified building block versions of the characters#if theyre having fun and not hurting anyone then its ok!!! state your opinions and be different but in the end its ok!!!!#canon and fanon can coexist peacefully in my head :3 they dance around like little balls of light#because in the end both canon and fanon have people's love and joy put into them. does it matter if one is more 'correct' than the other??#fanon is just a form of expression and there is no 'correct' way of expressing because its all just a concept in the end!!! ITS NOT REAL!!!#SURE canon might be the original branch but as long as its acknowledged and homage is paid then fanon can be just as amazing as canon#tricule asks#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ANON :333 I LOVE YAPPING ABOUT MY FAVORITE TRIO 😇😇😇😇😁😁😁😁😁#its always so fun to analyze small things like this...... canon to fanon pipeline is so fun to think about.........#i love gettings asks!!! i love explaining my ideas!!! i love sharing thoughts with someone who felt they wanted to hear it!!!!!! :333333
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i love being autistic cause sometimes i get a glimpse into how regular people perceive things and its like. what the fuck. what the fuck is that? you live like this? and its normal?? i think YOURE the weird one actually. im fine. thanks though.
#THERES SO MANY WEIRD RULES#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SOMEONE WALKS LIKE HUH????? WHY????????????#can someone fucking explain the dude head nod thing to me why do we do that. whats that about. ive never seen anyone do that irl before#is that an american thing or do i just hang around too many afab people#i am learning the intricacies of cis people gender rules and i am. what fucking planet have i been on the last 17 years like what is this#was there some like. rulebook they handed out at somepoint they forgot to give to me or something#“best way to learn is to observe the men around you” OBSERVE WHAT. YOU PEOPLE PAY THAT MUCH ATTENTION TO EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT????#bruh i can barely make eye contact w people...#my ass has never intentionally copied someones mannerisms ever.#i do it subconsciously. but doing it actively feels weird and wrong and like im breaking someones boundaries#“men dont smile at people.” well they should.#ive decided cishet men are the most boring people on the planet#“dont move with your hands” YOURE BREAKING MY POOR THEATER KID HEART#i need to meet more gay men irl to absorb the vibe of cause i only know like two. not counting myself#i want people to look at me and go. ah yes. fruit.#at this point im just going to accept being misgendered for the rest of eternity. id rather die than be boring in the way cishet men are#my flavor of being trans is so influenced by my autism cause my perception of genders is completely off from what everyone else is doing#im like. yeah i want to be a man. and then i look at what the majority of men are actually like and its like. wait no. not like that#shoutout to flamboyant gay men where would i be without them#i think the thing that bothers me the most is that like#in my mind peoples genders are just. the way they express themselves.#its not like. this super big complex deal like how everyone else treats it. if that makes sense? like.#regular people have so many rules for what counts as a man or what counts as a woman or what counts as neither and its like???#you can do what you want???? why do we care????#and ive been doing this since i was little. on account of the autism#i just. dont get why its such a big deal to people.#i cant wrap my head around it at all#not nonbinary not a girl not aegender not a man but a secret fourth thing#(man but i do it my way instead of everyone elses way)#unfortunately doing it my way just. leads to the misgendering dimension. for some reason
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now that I'm done imagining a jar of peanut butter, can I just say that I love that Shane and Ryan have shifted away from traditional true crime to just shootin' the shit about weird-ass mysteries?
I always liked the "let's talk about weird mysteries" aspect of buzzfeed unsolved, but being real with you, I'm uncomfortable with true crime and the culture surrounding it. like... as someone who lost a loved one to a violent (and temporarily unsolved) crime, I've seen firsthand how internet theorizing can make a traumatizing time even harder and like. it's fucking rough, man.
I get that it makes money and all (which... is a whole other can of worms) but when you view human suffering as entertainment, it's so easy to forget about the real people who will actually be affected by what's put out there on the internet.
so I'm happy that Shane and Ryan seem to be leaning a lot more into "wow, some unhinged shit happened! how fucked up is that?" on mystery files. more of this, please!!
#watcher#mystery files#also like... anyone can make money off true crime if they're charismatic enough#which means that often those narratives end up mirroring real-life prejudices#I remember when my friend died people online were accusing his wife of doing it#solely because she was an immigrant#people kept talking about her shady accent and how she probably married him for his money and to get a green card or whatever#and how her wording was sometimes confusing so she must be lying#what money??? number one#she was ESL number two#but also this woman literally watched her husband bleed out and people all over the world were accusing her of murdering him#they figured out what happened later (shocker she was telling the truth the whole time) but it was so heartbreaking to watch#I hate that people feel entitled to the worst moments of strangers' lives y'know?#and to make MONEY off that...#bruh if someone ever tries to fucking make money off my murder while putting on makeup or whatever#I will haunt the fuck out of them#I don't even know if I believe in curses but I'll find a fucking way
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i love nonverbal eleven so much like yessss girl say nothing. it's always like "what did you see?" "who's going to die?" "what did you do?" my mysterious autistic angel. my beautiful cryptic princess tell them NOTHING
#i hc eleven as autistic w ptsd and like inevitable neurodivergency just from being raised in a lab#but definitely like the emotional regulation stuff she presents is more than j ptsd to me. shes me fr she gets it#i just love it so much when she just doesnt respond to people it's so based#i love badass autistic characters#we never get any of those#i hate bylers who dont like eleven cos they see her as the in between of mike and will#like fuck off go be a misogynist somewhere else#im queerplatonic mileven stan all the WAY bruh i cant wait for them to break up and just be besties#and be gay together#eleven#eleven stranger things#jane hopper
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#bruh this t*eil news is fucking me UP!!!!!#for so many reasons#mostly bc its making me paranoid. i already was 👀 bc of all this news lately popping off about korean men#i was like 'wait...exo are korean 👀🤨😬' and this coming out of NOWHERE!!!! oooooooh my goooood bruh#i had to listen to please please please by sabrina carpenter and that shit hit TOOOOO hard#this is so crazy like a big fear of mine and why im so hesitant to trust men theyre so scary man#AND literally while watching yeols live last night i was fangirling but when i found myself giggling too hard my mind was like#'girl you dont know this nigga fr...what if hes...?' and then id get scared lol 😩#yet in the same breath....#chanyeol cant catch a damn break broooo like this news dropping on the day of his album release is killllling meeeeee#this debut is such a mess and i hope that he doesnt get effected by it the same way the other nct members are#lord help us all#i feel i have more to say but this is the main shit. like my brain is whirling and im getting really freaked out idk its just chilling#the world is a sick place frfr. and ig always just be prepared for the worst when it comes to your faves cause you really never know#anyways gonna listen to yeols album. the mv was cute but damn the song is so short 😭#justice for yeol 😔✊🏾#.#inner mono
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I just spent four days in a state of panic all because I had a fun little explosion of anxiety I haven't had since before finding the right meds for me
#bruh it's been tough I did not eat or sleep and if I did eat I was sick after bc of the stomach flips#all because I fucking hoOKED UP WITH MY BEST FRIEND#I went from such a high to the lowest low bc clearly I havent had to unpack this shit in therapy since I havent dome shit in 4 years ☠️#like man oh man that was insane and do not judge us for being animals we were absolutely at work 🤡#but yeah man didn't realize how shitty my self esteem is but we talked today and apparently#we're both dense idiots bc we were both freaking out in the same way#but issues resolved#😩 what a load off
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ew, can she fucking not?~🎃
#bruh#i have my pronouns and preferred honorific in my email sign off bolded and in a different color for a reason#miss maam we email all the fucking time#like i know it’s an honest mistake (i hope) bc she’s a fucking sweetpea but goddamn#what a way to start off my morning#frnkiebby#non-frank post
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need my dad to keel over and die or smth
#seph.txt#GET OFF MY FUCKING ASS. IN MY BUSINESS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME#im literally on my way home already no need for him to call and get att#*all aggressive at me like BRUH
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you know i don't use amazon but something i often think about. several years ago my mom ordered me some books for my birthday on amazon and one of them i asked for was the oxford world's classics edition of the rover and other plays by aphra behn edited and with an introduction by jane spencer. it was supposedly new but when it got to me, the cover (paperback) was folded at an angle and the edges of the pages were dirty like they were left somewhere contaminated. and you see i don't mind like a not-pristine book at all; most of my books are used. but what the fuck was that.
#that's still the edition i read out of and everything but wtf#i get that it is not a popular book at all#it probably has been sitting in the warehouse for a very long time#how is amazon treating their rare-selling inventory? that things get neglected like that?#i suppose it's a bit of a bummer bc it's damaged and i could've had a nice new one#but i never made a fuss or anything#tales from diana#fun fact it is listed as the 593456th best-selling book on amazon#act fast!!!!! grab a copy now!!!!!!!#no but you really should grab a copy. aphra behn's works are so under-recognized for how influential they were#and they're just funny fucking plays. the feigned courtesans? bruh#its the 880219th best-selling book according to barnes and noble's website#their awful 30-dollar gilded leather paperweight of the complete works of shakespeare (w no notes and unreadably small text)#is 2429th in sales. when it deserves to be negative a millionth#srsly the existence of that book pisses me off since it CANNOT be a good way to be introduced to his works#if anything it must be so frustrating. if u are someone or theres someone in your life curious abt shakespeare buy any other edition#it's not hard to find the arden or the oxford or the riverside shakespeare etc. for less than $30 secondhand online#or buy the plays individually or rent them from a library if you're just getting your feet wet/don't want a big unwieldy tome#literally that gigantic copy-paste w no new or useful supplementary material they've been selling for years. i cant imagine#how many ppl have bought it and tried to read through it and been so discouraged. makes me sad honestly#and frankly. on top of it. their design is just so ugly#there's no thought in it at all it's just a fancy pattern w a first folio engraving smacked onto the center. yawn#my riverside shakespeare 1973 is in really rough physical condition but the vestiges of its beautiful design remain#and that's that on that#also if there's anyone in your life who is interested in shakespeare please also turn them onto aphra behn. pls and thank you
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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guys help im trapped in a loop of the most cunt serving song ever
#dmc#dmc vergil#dmc bury the light#god GOD#im taking an easy monday bc all weekend i was moving shit outta the garage with my sister bc my mom is gonna move this year moms a hoarder#and so ive been blasting this as i powered through shit that my mom fucking stored in the garage for decades (from old house and this house#anyways my mind is nothing but I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING PROVOKING BLACK CLOUDS IN ISOLATION#HELP BUT DONT IM SUFFERING BUT LIKE IM NOT? im hyperfixating on a song help#this is why i fucking held off on this song i knew i wasnt gonna be normal about this#im still working on my tony redgrave post but life shit like my mom moving got in the way but shit shit now i wanna do a vergil post#i wanna do both it might be months i just am rotating these boys in my brain along with Nero help#BORN IN FLAMES I HAVE BEEN BLESSED MY FAMILY CREST IS A DEMON OF DEATH#song goes so fucking hard bruh BRUH BRUUUUH
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“Jinx wasn’t trying to kill Ekko she was trying to kill herself 😢” why can’t y’all let that girl be evil bro
#y’all thought that she thought that he was gonna walk it off??#Like Bruh#two things can be true at once#sure it could’ve been suicidal#but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t trying to kill ekko bro 😭#this is like. the main point of what I dislike Abt jinx Stans#not a single one of her actions can be selfish or just bad#I bet money there’s ppl who think ekkos wrong for tryna get her away from silco#like if that flashback ever comes out the amount of racism and bias we’ll see#fuck#y’all already treat him as borderline predatory and stalkerish when he’s like#the only one who’s been consistently anti jinx the whole time#this whole thing where y’all think ekko is trailing after he like a lovesick puppy is so irritating#honestly#I’d argue if that dynamic existed at all it’d likely be the other way around#bc ekko does NOT trust jinx anymore and atp I don’t think he even trusts powder#the cool thing Abt ekko is that with the way things are going#I think he’d be one of the ppl who don’t separate jinx from powder#but whatever that’s a diff story
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BRUH i swear the filters on character.ai are getting worse and worse. The AI will just obliterate messages with the tamest little kiss, or a hug with romantic undertones. I've also had completely unrelated responses get censored cos the character wrote in a trigger word even though it's not NSFW in-context. Fucking hell man.
#character.ai#rambling#Ughhhhhh!!!!!#It just fucking BLOWS basically all the characters end up with the same personality cos the filters won't let them be any other way#Also they say they ''don't allow nsfw'' and censor completely consensual character interactions#But then suddenly a character will *sexually assault* another in great detail. Uncensored. Like. Bruh.#God forbid two characters fuck in the missionary position with the purpose of procreation. Good thing the alternative is LITERALLY SA#Like. Fuck off#I can never get Pygmalion to guve satisfying results and the KoboldAI TPU is unavailable 99% of the time#And NovelAI is 1) just novels not chats 2) paid after the first 50 generations#And the OpenGPT Playground is paid per token after a certain point & I've already run out of free tokens#Like bruhhh I'm not paying for this stuff i don't use it nearly enough to justify#If they had like a permanent license at an acceptable price i would consider it - like buying a videogame#But it's literally all subscriptions!! And i hate that!!!!#Anger anger anger
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Okay I didn't wanna bother op by putting this in the tags of that last post I reblogged, the bitch daughter/bastard son post
But that is SO confrontational that it's FASCINATING for me
Like I can't imagine anyone in my family calling someone else a bitch. Even on my dad's side of the family, which is relatively mean, where my dad DEFINITELY things my aunt is a massive bitch.
I wanna put that op's mom under a michael scope and study her. What could possibly inspire you to call your child a bitch. Over PANTS. Like over anything is wild. But over PANTS.!.????? I am fascinated.
#the worst thing ive ever said to my mum was 'fuck you'#and that was at a very very emotionally charged moment that has not happened before or since#it was a Whole Thing and i couldnt get away and she wouldnt leave me alone#tbh i never apologized for that and i never will. i forgive her! for her actions! but bruh i did nothing wrong. i did what i had to do.#you might think 'wow thats a lot' but imagine being 18 and you lost your phone in a stupid way and its just confirmation that#to you that no matter what you do you will always be a failure and the world would be better off without you and you cant even punish#yourself with self harm because youre staying with relatives and you know youre worthle#s and then your mom wont stop telling you that you messed up by losing your phone. and its like. you know. you know. you know you fucked up#and that youre a waste of space and that no one is saying that but they all know it too#so you go to a field to sit down and be alone and she follows you out and tells you to come inside#so you do and go up to your cousins bedroom where youre staying but the wall is open to the hallway#so its not even rly private and then she just keeps walking in to tell you#'this is serious that you lost your phone thats not okay'#when all you can think about is how you deserve to drown in your own blood.#so! yeah anyways! while my family doesnt speak to eachother that way i maintain i did nothing wrong with saying fu.
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