#i had to listen to please please please by sabrina carpenter and that shit hit TOOOOO hard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

halfyourheart · 2 years

Note

alice bestie hi !! I saw u rb sabrina n now I want to know your favourite songs of emails I can't send (if u may wish to share them <3)

hi myle hi bestie <3 !

pls let it be known that this was way harder than I anticipated?? this is pure vibes and what are currently my favourites. I am so bad at definitive rankings (except for the last one because I am a hater apparently)??? on the other hand, I spent way too much time on this and went back and forth a bajillion times. It's a conundrum, so without further ado, enter at your own risk <3

emails i can’t send

I fell in love with this song when she first posted it on tiktok (i think)??? before the album was announced. and I loved it even more when it got released. just the twist of it being about her dad (or just a dad - but yeah)!! and that connecting with what people have been calling her “home wrecker” and “slut”. As an intro, I think it ties the whole album together really well and emphasises the message(/email (didn’t mean to do that)) that she’s trying to send so I crown thee number one.

2. already over

i love love love the sound this song; it’s so fun. the pacing. the chorus, the “I say i’m done but i’m still confused” just hits me every time. a controversial opinion because this is possibly my one friend's least favourite song. ALSO the end “i like my bed but it likes you too”??? kills me. personifying something so love-driven (bed!) just hiTS. i just have the most fun with this song :D

3. tornado warnings

lying to your therapist to convince yourself something is true was a little bit too relatable lol. "I'll drive you home you drive me crazy" then combined with "I'll call you out You call me "baby"" no I can't handle it.

4. bad for business

the concept as a whole is something I find really interesting and relatable. sadness selling? you’re only worth something when you’re writing/drawing/painting about the saddest/lowest points of your life. Or getting inspiration from those points. It’s just something I struggle with a lot because I always feel like I create best when I’m at some of my lowest points (definitely my brain lying to me but we move). So like what’s the point of happiness if it’s not benefitting me in a ‘productive’ way? and then I argue with myself because??? there is so much wrong with that train of thinking especially since I LOVE people simply being happy? and I love art centred around that. a simple domestic fic or a painting that’s just two people chilling in the kitchen with tea? that’s my shIT. and that is the shit! just vibing and enjoying yourself is the goal! I’m likely reading too much into it and forming a personal attachment to it so I don’t want to put it low. what the song touches on is something I am so fascinated with and deal with a lot :)

5. Vicious

One of the first songs I gravitated towards upon first listening to the album. “everyone thinks you’re an angel but shit I would probably use different wording” mmmMmMm. the distortion leading up to “I was only the next one to take your love songs as a promise” and that whole section just scratches my brain so nicely. there’s something so cathartic about borderline sing-screaming :D

6. Read your Mind

a very fun-paced song. “you’re not my friend and baby you never were”. Is this higher up because she says baby? maybe so. Ms Carpenter, please call me baby, respectfully. bUT also it’s a really interesting take on a lack of communication because you'd expect it to sound slower. that contrast gets me in a good way. I am a sucker for juxtaposition yUM.

This where the list gets a little bit dicey because I went back on forth with these rankings a LOT.

7. Nonsense

no, but I do love this song??? why are you here bestie?? it’s so fun and the riffs 🥺 the ad-libs 🥺 “bleh-blah-bleh” 🥺 Shakespeare who? “I had to jump the octave *proceeds to jump the octave*??? SHOCK HORROR GASP

8. how many things

the start is so funny “you used a fork once it turns out forks are fucking everywhere” sksksksks comedic genius I swear. and then back into the emotional whiplash with “I, I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me” as someone who romanticises past relationships (platonic and romantic) ahah this song mmmmmmm it hurts. “remember when you left once? that never made much sense to me.” wrecked me. wrecked ME. and "your corner in my mind is well established"????

9. decode

form imitating lyrics gets me so hard. “the gaps and the silence” with the pause? yeah that hit me over the head and stole my money and I'm totally cool with that. once again, Shakespeare who??? this song is so underrated. "being myself did that emasculate you"?????????????? Over-analysing (also the way she sings over-analysing ashdajdgahd) things is sort of my MO.

10. because i liked a boy

“I’m a home wrecker I’m a slut” “dating boys with exes no I wouldn’t recommend it” mmmMmm YuM but then tying back to emails i can’t send? an emotional whiplash honestly but also a very fun song to listen to. (I don't know how this song ended up here but I have just changed things three times so we are not touching it).

11. bet u wanna

i know I'm the worst. why is this in the bottom three? This song is hot I won't deny (the baseeeee), but I simply do not vibe with it as much as the others at this point in time. Maybe that'll change one day but for now, she sits here.

12. skinny dipping

shoutout oat milk! This is so low because we heard it so long ago I think? I did read that it's so awkward because it's imitating the conversation she's having with her ex and I do love that.

13. fast times

I have never liked fast times ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't even really have a specific reason why?? the music video is great but I just don't gravitate towards this song.

I really do love this album and this was so hard and it will likely change at a whim (except for you fast times 👀 *insert luke saying I’m heartless with those*) but this is definitely some of her best, if not her best, writing to date imo (sue me you will always be famous to ME), so that makes sense.

The only part of this that was easy was the top three and the bottom three. The middle can and will change at any time. 6-10?? they switched constantly aH.

What's your ranking? <3

#i am so sorry for the length of this 💜#I love sabrina carpenter!#if you ever wanna talk about her hit me up 😌💗#clearly I have so much to say that are basically incoherent fragments #how many times did I say fun #please don't let that deter you #I feel like that one taylor swift lyric: hey kids spelling is fun!#what a dark time #anways #hope you enjoyed that myle 💜#alice answers #sabrina carpenter

5 notes · View notes

stayforya · 6 years

Text

SUE ME

member: bang chan

genre: break up/make up au! fluff; angst

words: 3.9k

summary: bad experiences teach you how to live and who to trust. after everything, he have been hoping he could change the past. but wasn’t he the one who said that there’s no second chance?

a/n: based on sabrina carpenter’s song “sue me”. feel free to listen to it while reading :)

you weren’t the kind of girl who dated a lot

not because there is something wrong with being like that, but you just couldn’t trust boys too much

your first ever boyfriend was a douchebag and after the worst dating experience with him, you decided not to open your heart easily

of course it leaded you to a place where no boys approached, since you weren’t open to anything else other than friendship

being in college now was a whole new experience

at least there was a huge upgrade when it comes to people (boys, specifically)

beginnings are always complicated but you met a nice girl who had the same classes as you, so you didn’t feel alone at all

as time passed by, the new environment wasn’t so strange anymore

once you even met a cute guy while studying close to the football field, he was all athletic, by the way

you were just sitting by yourself when some kind of shadow came into your way and you only noticed the ball after it hit your juice bottle

“I’m so sorry”, he came running

“no, that’s okay, tho”, you were trying to collect the mess and get out of the ground so the spilled juice wouldn’t wet anything else

“are you sure? can I get you a new drink?”

“I’m fine, thank you”, you finally lifted up your head after collecting your stuff

he had a cap on, and even though his body language showed a manly carefree person, his eyes were the most caring ones you saw in a while

“we’ll make sure the ball won’t come out again”, he smiled and looked at the boys who were quite far, on the field, waiting for him to comeback

“thanks”, you gave out a friendly smile

“I’m changbin, by the way”, he offered his right hand

“I’m y/n”, you hold his hand

“come on, bro!”, one of his friends shouted from afar

he just gave you a smile and came back to the field

not easily affected, you smiled to yourself

the next day started so messed up

you had this class pretty early and your alarm clock didn’t ring

you just brought an apple, didn’t even brush your hair properly and probably forgot something but would only notice it later

even though the professor didn’t say anything when you opened the door ten minutes late, he would definitely remember your face

the friend you sat with everyday already had someone by her side since you were late

you found an empty place and were by yourself when someone just sat so smoothly you didn’t notice

“oh”, the sound came out automatically when you saw him

“morning”, he said

his hair was as messy as yours, but his was cute, fluffy and it smelled good

small and sleepy eyes

“if there’s anyone without a pair, please find yours. it will be needed for this class”, said the professor

the boy by your side looked around and then looked at you again “did you bring the book?”

your mind was still loading everything, and then you remembered

“oh, no… I forgot it”

he opened his backpack and started looking into it

“here it is!”

“congrats on saving the day”, you joked

he giggled and his dimple showed up

oh. my. God.

“I just bring everything everyday”

“seriously?”

“kind of”, he giggled again while opening the book

his small eyes became smaller when he smiled

his dimples became deeper

his side profile was like a work of art, for real

chan opened the book and placed it on the table between him and you so both could see it

but he came closer, so he could read it better

he had a strong smell that didn’t come from his hair

it was his perfume, maybe

how could someone smell like that at 8am?

you were reading to yourself

chan read it out, in some kind of asmr

you couldn’t focus on the part you were reading because of his voice reading the other part

so you just gave up and followed his reading

you wish you could pay more attention to him

but the class was really important

when it ended, your friend called you

and when you came back to say bye to chan, he left already

but on top of the table there were keys you assumed as his

during that week you didn’t see him anymore

you both probably didn’t have any other class together

after lunch with your friend, you decided to read a book in the exact place you read before

close to the football field, where you met changbin

he was there again, playing with the team

but what you truly didn’t expect was to see chan there

“what?”, you heard yourself talking out loud

you pretended to read for a whole hour until the game ended

changbin greeted you from afar and you waved too

chan was the last one to leave the field so you just decided to go there

no idea where the courage came from

“hey”

“oh, hey”, he smiled back

that smile again

“I’ve been looking for you”

he looked surprised

you didn’t mean in that… way…

“you left your keys on the table that day”

you took off the keys from your pocket and handed him

“really? I’ve been looking for them the whole week”

he took it gently from your hand

“I couldn’t find you anywhere, so…”

“thank you, …?”, he was asking for your name indirectly

“y/n”

“thank you, y/n. I’m chan”

“nice to meet you?”, it sounded strange since you already met before

you both laughed

“yeah, nice to meet you too”

“well, I’m going now”

“and if you need to meet me…”

what was he trying to say?

“…I mean, if I forget something again. I’m here almost every day”

“sure! now I know”

was it weird to say that?

anyways, moving on

you grabbed your bag and walked away to go home

you and chan started to meet again

and again

at the classes

at the football field

then at the library

at the street

and at that café close by

that was actually your first official date

but it didn’t feel like a date at all, cause you both were already used to each other

chan was playful

he was so nice to be around

warm

his laugh, his voice, his thoughts

how could you take so long to admit you were in love?

he held your hand taking you back home

he gave you bear hugs

sweet kisses

and he played with your fingers when you both were sitting there watching a movie or a stupid and funny reality show

if there is something as perfect boyfriend, chan would be the definition of it

once he made a playlist

named “to my babygirl”

and sent it to you

he added all the songs that made him think of you

unplanned dates because whenever you both were busy, any free time would be your time

“where are you now?”

“just finished my TA job”

“I’ll pick you up”

you went to almost all of their football games

cheering for him, running to him when they won

he gave you one of his team shirts so you would use it when watching the games

also, you became friends with the football team, since you already knew changbin too

and your friends started to hang out with them at the same time

however, you didn’t expect everything to change

you had a full day at university so you just couldn’t meet chan at all

you just wanted to go home and lie in bed immediately

when you were getting out of library, your phone rang

it was changbin

he rarely called you, you were the type of friends who exchanged texts not calls

“hey, what’s up?”

“are you still at campus?”, his voice was strange

“yeah”

“can you come here, to the locker room? I’m not feeling well…”

“what? what are you feeling?”

“I don’t know, I’m kinda dizzy”

“wait, I’m coming. there isn’t no one with you?”

“no, they all went home already… oh, shit”

“what???”, you started to run since you were pretty far from the locker room

“I slipped, but I’m okay”

“changbin! be careful, you stupid boy”

you were pretty worried

just a little bit more of running and you came into the locker room

there weren’t many lights around and not many people also

you opened the big transparent door abruptly

when you got into the man’s locker room, he was sitting on the bench

head down, hands holding it

changbin was so pale you got surprised

“oh my God”, you got on your knees to see his face

“I’m okay”

he wasn’t feeling well at all, it couldn’t be possible

he looked like he was about to faint so you just started to help him the way you could

you learned on first aid classes

his face started to come back to normal

“how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling better, but… I don’t know… weak”

“how did it happen?”

he sighed

“I think I didn’t eat enough for the amount of time I spent training”

“here”, you took off sandwiches from your bag

the ones you always brought with you

you didn’t even notice he was shirtless because, come on, you were friends

changbin is handsome but your friendship was always real

so you felt comfortable with each other

plus the football boys were all athletic so most of them took off their shirts all the time while training, for example

while you talked, changbin ate, and then he was feeling way better

for real this time

“thank you for coming”, he said

you two were turning out the lights since there wasn’t anyone else there

while you closed the big transparent door, changbin put his shirt on

“I’ll take you home today”

“do you drive?”, he asked

“of course, dude. give me the keys”, you opened your hand with a sassy face

“and how will you go home? it’s my car afterall”, he laughed

“taxi?”

he stopped with arms crossed

“come on, you won’t die, I promise I drive better than you”

“whaaaat”

you both got into changbin’s car

his car was a range rover? you’re just not so good in car’s names

you turned on the radio and started driving to changbin’s house

such a relief he was feeling good now

it was worrying to see him feeling bad when you came into the locker room

while you drove out the campus, someone was watching the scene from the football field, alone

“can we talk?”, he sent you a message

chan asked you to meet in your secret place

it was a nice garden nearby

the day was quite cold but beautiful

when you got there, chan was sitting on a bench

at the moment you saw him from behind, your heart started to beat faster

chan always gives you this good feeling

“hellooo”, you hugged him from behind and then sat beside him

he reciprocated but not like he usually does

“sorry I’m late”, you said

“we have time”

“are you okay?”

“actually, I wanna talk”

the weather somehow became colder

you put your hands inside the pocket of your hoodie

everything he said after that showed dissatisfaction

he explained he saw you hanging out with changbin last night

“we weren’t ‘hanging out’, I was helping him”

“everything was prepared. last night I prepared everything, I made you dinner, I decorated the living room, I was waiting for you”

what was he talking about?

“well, I- I didn’t know… and I told you I had the busiest day ever”

“you even drove changbin’s car I don’t know where”

“chan, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say”

“look…”, shit, stop being calm in a moment like this, bang chan!

you were confused and angry at the same time

“y/n, I’m… I got pretty disappointed, this is what I’m trying to say. I saw both of you coming out the locker room. and I’ve been hearing here and there that you guys’ friendship is too special”, the calm chan was gone

“what?! it doesn’t make sense!”

“last night was meant to be a special time for us. I gave it up because I understood you were so tired, and then I went there and saw you all smiles with changbin. how do you think I should feel?”

his voice showed how disappointed he was but you couldn’t understand

w h y

you took a deep breath between the thoughts he was throwing out

“let me conclude. you’re saying you think I’m cheating on you”

“this is your conclusion”

“no, chan. this is what you’re telling me between the lines”

the bunch of feelings made you want to cry

but you didn’t

you were going to finish that conversation

after talking a lot, you both stood there in silence

complete silence

“what made you so sad about last night?”, you asked, afraid of being too harsh

“summer break is coming soon, I thought we could travel together”

then you realised

he was planning it for a long time

he prepared a trip and a nice friday night date to announce that to you

you felt bad for him but then the anger came out when you remember what he said

“I didn’t imagine at all”

“it’s okay. I’m okay with you not going yesterday, I would prepare the whole dinner again, but the fact that you were with him…”

“yeah. I understand your point. and, chan, I’m so sorry I screwed up our dinner date. and everything you planned. I’m sorry. but I just can’t get over the fact you think I dumped you yesterday to hang out with changbin as if… as. if. I would ever have the guts to cheat on you”

“I trust you, y/n”

“I think you don’t”

“it’s just that I was so overwhelmed in feelings. I still am. and hear people saying that kind of stuff made me mad at first but then it made me overthink…”

“do you believe them?”

“no…”

he believed them

you could forgive everything, you felt so sorry for messing up what he planned and omg the trip on summer break you’d love to go

but the fact that he was assuming you could cheat on him

it brought back your old memories

that’s why you couldn’t trust boys for so long

your ex boyfriend did the same, he assumed you cheated on him when actually

he was the one cheating

he made you look bad when he was the dirty one

overthinking and overthinking

was chan doing the same?

you became defensive

“are you…”

he looked at you while you stood up and started walking around

“are you trying to find a reason to break up? if so, just do it! if you’re the one wanting to be with someone else, just say it!”

“what do you mean, y/n? this is not what I’m trying to say!”

“you knew, chan”

don’t cry, not now

“I told you about my past relationship, I told you what he did to me and now you’re doing the same. you knew how much my feelings were hurt”

“no, that’s…”

you didn’t want to listen him defending himself because he already said too much about you

“tell me if you want to go out with that new girl who attends all the games and talks to you every day! but do not come here and tell me you listen to people’s stupid opinion on my friendship with changbin when you always knew I could never to that to you”

words came out way too easily

“well, you’re doing the same. you’re assuming something”

“I see it. I see how much space you give her”

“what? y/n, I could never”

“well, I couldn’t too. but turns out we don’t trust each other anymore”

summer break came up

the last weeks were for finals, busy days and lots of studying

you didn’t meet chan again

whenever you saw him by distance, you changed the route

but since everyone was so into the finals, it wasn’t that noticeable

on summer break, you planned a trip with your family

you just didn’t want to stay home thinking and overthinking

chan got hurt

you got hurt too

before you travelled, you met yours and his friends

class mates and football team

chan had travelled already

probably with someone else? you didn’t know

“you were perfect together”, some friends said

“guys, move on”, you tried to smile

“no second chance?”

“hm?”, you just didn’t want to answer

“that’s what he said too: no second chance”

so he actually didn’t even think of getting back together, right?

oh, chan. you truly use your words for better or worse

so passionate when in love; so cold when in pain

“let’s just not talk about this, okaaay”

summer break was everything you needed

your family travelled and when you came back, you went travelling with friends too so it was a pretty nice time

at least you could forget the friday nights you spent listening to the playlist chan made you

“to my babygirl”

what an idiot

you also didn’t want to think what he was doing at the moment

or if he came back from the trip he originally planned to do with you

you know what, everything happens for a reason

it was better like this

boys would be boys and chan only proved what you already knew

you can’t really trust them

coming back to college after the amazing break was bittersweet

people felt renewed

and sad because they didn’t want to come back yet

you could see all your friends again

there would be this welcoming party at campus and someone was announcing it on your first class that day

luckily you got there in time and the professor wasn’t there yet

while the girl was talking and everyone was already sat down paying attention

chan opened the door

he mumbled a “sorry” to the girl, in his lovey dovey way of being

and sat down

you missed him so much

that fact hit you very hard

he was precious, you could say it for sure

despite the break up fight you had

your memories were all good and you treasured them the most

you felt like he saw you when passing by your chair

but you didn’t look at him

which was pretty difficult cause you had to hold down your instincts

he sat with someone he knew

“are you going?”, you overheard their conversation

“hmm… yeah, yeah”

ok, you would definitely go too

time to breathe new air

as time passed by, you realised it could be different

that fight didn’t have to finish everything

if you both waited a little bit

you could talk better

and solve all the small details

but maybe the timing…

the finals week

stress all around

pressure all around

it didn’t help at all

on that saturday night, you were going to forget him for good

the welcoming party is always a nice place to have fun with friends

you were gorgeous

not only because everyone was saying this, but because you looked at yourself in the mirror

confidence overload

you didn’t feel this good in a while

your friend came by to pick you up

“dressed to kill, right?”, she said

“not my intention”, you did some kind of angelic face

the place was full when you came in

and you didn’t want to catch attention

but turns out the lights were so on you

a lot of eyes focused on you

mainly the ones who matter the most

chan looked up to you

“pick up the jaw off the floor, bro”, one of his friends joked

there were so many thoughts in his head at that moment

you could never know

not that you wanted, tho

you were there to have fun

party was great

but you always needed to breathe some fresh air

that’s why you went out a little bit

it was a cold night out there

you walked a little bit to the fence of the football field

it wasn’t empty around, but in the exactly place you were

there was no one but you

the music could still be heard

but the peace you felt there, breathing the fresh air

incredible

it didn’t take much for you to feel you weren’t alone anymore

maybe it’s someone passing by, you thought

until the person stood there right by your side

leaning against the fence just like you

you didn’t have to look at him to know it was him

the strong perfume smell said it all

“how have you been?” he broke the silence

“good. you?”

you two weren’t looking at each other

“good, too. I heard you travelled on summer break”

“yes, I did”

the tension could be cut with a knife

“I went travelling too. but I couldn’t stop thinking of you there”, chan said

your heart skipped a beat

you hate how much he has an effect on you

you looked at him for the first time standing there

the way he looked back at you

“I actually heard you said there was no second chance for us. so why did you keep thinking of me?”, it was harsh but chan knew you

he gave you a smirk as if he knew you said that because of the resentments

you were now looking at each other

close enough

his way of speaking was so charming, soft and low voice

“I wish I could change the past, y/n. I don’t think our relationship should end like that, I was childish”

“it’s not like you’re 100% guilty”

“I was hurt, you were too. spending time alone made me think of that, and think of you…”

come on, bang chan

it was getting harder to stand there looking at him

while desiring to hug him so bad

you looked down while he looked at you

you didn’t have anything to say

words were running in your head, but nothing came out of your lips

“you look so pretty tonight”, he said, “it’s unfair”

“is it the fact that I’m pretty tonight? the fact that I’m still good friends with your friends? or even the fact that I’m here at the place we always met?”

he was so serious

and so handsome

his eyes said so much and you couldn’t decipher

you just wanted to drown into them

“maybe because you’re something I can’t forget, even if I wanted to”

the words came out of his peachy lips so easily

you smirked at him

“so sue me”

the way you were looking at each other said it all

he held one of your hands and reached your lips

fingers interlocked

you went to him at the same time, touching his shoulders and laying your arms around his neck

how much did you miss him?

“I missed you so much”, he said with a smile

you kissed him again

“can we start over?”, his forehead on yours

eye to eye

“let’s talk about this later. I wanna enjoy this moment”, you said

he pulled you closer to a hug

the bear hug

nothing else mattered

just you and him, under the moon

missing each other like crazy

1K notes · View notes