#like breads might kick my ass now??

[batwynn]

Ok. Five days without antihistamines before my immunology appointment (FINALLY). I can do it. I won’t even look at a potato. 😤

[dustykneed]

everyone knows that if you bring your best friend along on a date with your bf, either your best friend of your bf will end up being third wheeled-- unless you're jim t kirk and you manage to third wheel for your first officer (who is in fact your boyfriend) and your cmo best friend.

no i have not watched bread and circuses yet but i feel in my heart that this applies. and also objectively the bread and circuses outfits are so insanely mind-blowingly attractive?? i needed an excuse to draw them in tight-fitting shirts and i regret nothing 😎

you just know that whenever the pre-mcspirk triumvirate hangs out whoever did the inviting will inevitably end up being the third wheel. like jim invites spock over to play chess and brings bones along to spectate and commentate and IMMEDIATELY spones joins forces to beat his ass (bickering and sassing each other all the while. and by the end bones is basically halfway on spock's lap smug as hell with spock leaning back a little just to accommodate him, a hand ghosting his waist to keep him from losing his balance.) And they beat jim's ass so soundly it would almost be embarrassing if he hadn't been preoccupied with committing the way spock and bones fit so well together to memory.

or spock will ask jim and bones over for dinner, and somehow while he's turned his back for a minute replicating their meals mckirk will have gotten into a playful argument about the worst terran movie and spock watches this eventually escalate into a mock tussle on the couch (and then onto the floor, where jim solidly pins bones (who is voicing his complaints very loudly) to the carpet and sort of pets at him until he goes pliant and giggly. and spock keeps watching because he can't bring himself to look away from how jim's biceps and triceps flex with the exertion of keeping a flailing bones still, and the way bones' shirt has rucked up with his wriggling and is now exposing his midriff in a decidedly... agreeable manner. And now their dinner is getting cold but spock is very much not. the opposite, in fact.

for bones though, generally he has the opposite problem-- whenever he tries to corner jim for a physical, it's guaranteed that spock will show up with him and stand next to his bed and all but hold jim's hand in front of the entire medbay and (with infuriating accuracy and highly amusing, transparent urgency) hand bones the instruments he needs before he even reaches for them, hovering by jim's side all the while. and jim is also TERRIBLE about not physically attaching himself to spock and actually letting bones do his goddamn job when spock gets hurt. if he wasn't so fond of them both, he swears he would've kicked them out of his medbay ages ago. Too bad they've both wormed their way solidly into his heart.

...

prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk month day 26 "expectations vs reality" (i know this isn't spicy but by god spirk's mouths are actually touching and given my track record of not being able to draw people kissing properly it might as well be, lol) 🩵💙💛

[theillegalpundealer]

Rating podcast men based on how likely i'd be able to beat them in a fight

Jonathan Sims tma: rat man. he's 90 pounds sopping wet. an angry weasel could easily beat him. i feel like one good punch would do him in he only survived the podcast through sheer stubbornness

Cecil Palmer wtnv: he'd trip on his own feather boa and manage to knock himself out before a single punch was thrown. and if he somehow managed not to do that i feel like he could hold his own for like thirty seconds and then get folded

Arthur Lester malevolent: do you think i have a death wish i would die immediately. it wouldnt even be a fight to the death and i would die within five seconds. this man has killed before and will kill again and i am so so afraid of him

Obituary Writer death by dying: i feel like he could hold his own. like i think it'd genuinely be a pretty equal fight. there is a 50/50 chance id die in some entirely unrelated and mysterious way but he'd write me a great obituary and be a great sport about it

Warren Godby red valley: seeing as warren literally killed a man and went to prison i dont think i could rate my chances all that great here. like he's nice and chill now (mostly) but still. like i dont think id die but he would totally kick my ass

Gordon Porlock red valley: okay i know warrens already there and i might not stand a chance against warren but gordon? he would flake apart like a wet napkin. mans is jon sims levels of pathetic. probably worse. i feel like if you bumped into him too hard he'd disintegrate or something

Sydney Sargent ch&t: i would feel soso bad but sydney is going down. like i would hate it. i would want to give him a piece of bread and butter and send him on his merry way but if i had to fight him there is no way in hell he could win

[nekoatsume2]

it mo 🦭 miss me? sadly i still need help. as some of you might know- me + my abusers were evicted recently & had to move in to an apartment complex. because of being rushed & just not having time to pack outside of my job, we/i left so much behind. im mostly trying to build up from scratch bc we need so much and im only working part-time ($14/hr).

🥗 has been so shitty as of late, he keeps (stealing) eating my food/snacks when hes over in front of me, making SANDWICHES ON TOP OF WHERE MY PC SITS NO PLATE NO NOTHING and then verbally abusing for buying anything for myself. so now i have to hide anything he'll grill me over, again. he also is just critical of anything i do- sleeping, eating, walking / commuting, buying stuff, etc. 🎮 & 📚 have been a bit mellower but still treating me like they always have. ive been under so much stress being the only one w a job in this apartment (🎮📚 live here, 🥗 just comes over often).

for the apartment...: the fridge here was not working properly until monday and i couldn't really buy groceries & had to rely on fast food bc what i bought kept going bad haha! the wifi here is free but practically just unusable 24/7. if anything goes wrong in the apt, we have to wait awhile bc they decided to only have 1 maintenance worker for hundreds of apartments. we're on the top floor and the stairs are KILLING my legs. its okay other than that and im still overall glad i still have somewhere to rest my head (for less than $400 a week, has hot water & built in laundromat).

me, specifically? i cant eat in the mornings of the days i work anymore. the anxiety is immense and my throat just wont open. i still wake up nauseous. i can barely eat before 12pm most days. my arfid has gotten even worse, i cant even swallow regular sandwich bread anymore. my workplace also has issues with water leaks & being able to have water on so its a coin toss if i can ever use the bathroom there if need be. lyft rides are more expensive now (can get as bad as $50). i need time to learn/get used to the buses here. chronic pain is kicking my ass & i have no weed to help. at least i seem to be ok work performance wise. i just have a lot on my shoulders.

so i need any money help i can get. please :'). also i still have comms open, just dm me here on tumblr <3 if thats more up ur alley.

heres a list of what i need 🦸 feel free to ask about why i might need something here/help but only if you have the $ to back it up lol:

k0fi link 🪶

c4shapp link 💲

g0fundme link 💸

buymeacoffee link ☕

dm for: p4ypal z3lle stripe chime wisely, etc!

rbs turned off = outdated/goal met/out of time

[celandeline]

If You Never Shoot, You Never Know

Carl Grimes X Reader, Part 1 [previous part | next part]

All you want to do is eat. 

You’re almost dead on your feet, exhausted after a day-long supply run with Daryl. For all your trouble, it had turned into a bit of a shitshow in the end, really, how were either of you supposed to know that there had been two dozen walkers in the basement? But you’re alive, and you’re back behind the walls of Alexandria, and Rick had seemed grateful for what supplies you had managed to scrounge up. So you feel entitled to treating yourself to grilled cheese. 

You relax back against the island of your kitchen as you flip on the stove, dropping some butter in your frying pan to begin to melt. The delicious smell of frying butter begins to fill the room, and you close your eyes, savoring the scent. God, you’re starving. 

A knock at your door interrupts the pleasant, buttery thoughts in your head, and you groan, trudging out of the kitchen. You already know who it is - no doubt the moment he saw you get home, he started over…

You whip open the door and lean against the frame, looking down at the boy on your porch. “What?”

Carl Grimes, with a bouquet of wildflowers clutched in his fist, smiles at you. “Brought you flowers.” He says, holding them out to you. 

He’s been doing this for months now. Purposefully volunteering for work that he knows you’re doing, making up any excuse to spend time at your house, going out of his way to bring you things - your favorite snacks, a ring with your favorite color stone in it, a shirt for a band that you like, now also flowers. It’s cute, this little crush he has on you. But turning him down is getting a little tedious. 

You sigh. “Carl, we’ve got to stop doing this.” Still, you hold your hand out for the flowers. 

“Dunno what you mean.” He says even though he definitely does. He hands you the bouquet. “Can I come in?”

You hesitate for a minute, examining the flowers he’d brought. All pretty, all in shades of your favorite color. “Your dad know where you are? Or is he gonna come busting down my door looking for you again?”

His cheeks redden as you reference the worst afternoon of both of your lives. “I told him.”

“Sure then.” You say, holding the door open so that he can slip inside. “‘M making dinner if you’re hungry. Grilled cheese.”

“If you don’t mind.” He says, wiping his boots on your rug before stepping inside. Always the gentleman. 

You look at him, exasperated. “When have I ever minded?” You ask, shutting the door and heading back into the kitchen, flowers in hand. 

“Just trying to be polite.” He says, following after you. 

You set the bouquet of flowers down on the island before turning back to your pan, dropping four slices of bread into the bubbling butter to begin frying. Carl makes himself comfortable on one of your barstools, watching as you pull a tall cracked glass out of one of your cabinets and fill it with water before dropping the flowers in. You set the makeshift vase in the center of the island with a smile. “Thanks.” You say. “They’re pretty.”

He grins. “They made me think of you.” He says. “Thought you might like them.”

You say nothing, ignoring how his little flirtatious comment makes you feel and instead focusing on the sandwiches. For a moment, the only sound in the kitchen is that of sizzling butter as you flip the slices of bread, until Carl speaks again. 

“How was your day?” He asks. 

“Alright.” You sigh. “Not as good as it could’ve been, but there’s always tomorrow. Now that Daryl and I know what we’re getting into, it should be easier to handle. And we can always bring more people with us.”

“I could come.” He offers immediately. 

You shake your head. “You’ve got your own jobs. Plus,” You joke. “I don’t need you distracting me while I’m trying to kick walker ass.”

He tilts his head, a little smirk at the corner of his lips. “Do I distract you?”

“You wish.” You say.

“I do.” He shoots back, unashamed. 

It’s annoying, how good he is at this. Makes it all the harder to keep reminding yourself why you can’t just give in to his advances. You’re three years older than him - which wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t freshly eighteen, but he is. And you’re already on Rick’s shit list when it comes to Carl - he’d almost throttled you when he found out Carl had asked you to sneak him some alcohol the next time you went on a run. He’d been furious, that day he was pounding on your door demanding to know where his son was - said he didn’t want him hanging around you, that you were ‘corrupting’ him. You can’t imagine what he’d do to you if you actually were to corrupt his boy, as he’d put it. 

“Carl.” You sigh, flipping the bread again, making sure all the sides are a delicious golden brown. 

“Sorry.” He says, not sounding sorry at all. “I know.”

And he does know - you’ve talked about it a lot, why this could never work. But the logic doesn’t seem to have deterred him at all. 

“You’ve gotta drop it.” You say, folding some slices of cheese into the bread, two fully formed sandwiches sliding around the buttery pan now. You have to swallow to stop your mouth from watering. 

“But you like it.” He says. 

You roll your eyes. 

“C’mon, you do.” He says, grinning as he gestures to the bouquet on display. “You would’ve actually told me to fuck off if you didn’t.” His icy blue eyes find yours. “If you tell me to fuck off, I will, you know that.”

You do know. But selfishly, you don’t want to tell him to go, even though you should. It’s silly to keep doing this when Rick will never ever let it happen, but he’s wormed his way into your affections. You like him. He’s sweet, and funny, and a great shot, and has the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen. And you like that he likes you, for whatever reason. 

You scoop the sandwiches out of the pan and onto a plate before flipping the stove off. Coming around the island, you slide onto the barstool next to him, placing the plate between the two of you. You don’t bother waiting for him before you grab one for yourself, digging in. You swallow with a satisfied sigh. “God, I was starving.”

Carl bites into his own sandwich with a smile. “Thanks.” He says around a mouthful. “‘S good.”

“Welcome.” You say around another mouthful.

The kitchen is largely silent as you and Carl eat, until there’s nothing but crumbs left on the plate. Your stomach no longer threatening to start devouring your insides, you sink into the barstool, the exhaustion from your run finally catching up to you. You sigh, contentedly, and Carl smiles.

“Can I ask you a question?” He asks, his voice taking on that nervous tone that means he’s going to ask some mushy romantic stuff. 

Even though you shouldn’t keep entertaining this, you say, “Sure.”

His gaze set on the marble countertop, he idly rolls a crumb between two fingers, contemplative. “If my dad wasn’t in the equation, would you let me date you?” His eyes shift under his hat, glancing quickly over to you. 

You should say no, even if it’s not the truth. If Rick wasn’t part of the equation - or even if you were in his good graces - you’d let Carl date you. Of course you would. But that’s not how things are - as is, Rick would mount your head on a spike. You should say no. But when those icy blue eyes are boring into your soul, it’s hard to be dishonest. “Yeah.” You say, playing it off with a shrug. “Seems like the only way to get you to stop pestering me with flowers and whatnot.”

Carl grins, the kind of smile that only comes from getting exactly what you want. “Follow up question,” He starts, grin turning mischievous. “If we just didn’t tell my dad anything, would you-”

“Absolutely not, no.” You laugh. “You want to fool around in secret? That would make everything a thousand times worse, what are you thinking? If Rick ever found out-”

Carl turns in his seat to face you, sliding a hand across the marble countertop to interlace his fingers with yours. “Please.” He says. “You already said that if getting in trouble with my dad wasn’t a problem you’d be okay with us being a thing. If he never finds out, what’s the problem?”

You shove down the feeling that shoots through you when he laces his fingers together with yours. “I’m still older than you. You’re barely an adult, I mean, have you ever even had a girlfriend before?”

His cheeks redden. “No.”

“I can’t be the first. I can’t set the standard for all of your relationships after this one. You should date someone your own age, I’m sure there’s plenty of girls around here that have crushes on you-”

“I don’t want to date someone my own age.” Carl says. “The people my age here have been sheltered in Alexandria almost their whole lives. They don’t know what it’s like outside these walls. Talking to them feels like talking to middle schoolers.” He squeezes your hand. “But you know what it’s like out there, you’re out there with the groups going on supply runs all the time. You know how to defend yourself, and you’re not afraid of the walkers. I can actually talk to you about that stuff. And if anything were to ever happen, if walkers were to get in the walls again, I know you’d be able to take care of yourself.”

The way he looks at you with such admiration makes your heart do a funny flip in your chest. “You make this very hard, you know.” You tease, trying to ignore the urge to kiss him. 

“It doesn’t have to be.” He says. “I don’t care that my dad thinks you’re a bad influence, and I don’t care that you’re older than me. I like you because you’re strong, and you’re pretty, and you’re the funniest person I know. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

You tilt your head and sigh, squeezing his hand back. “You’re right. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” You say. “But unfortunately it does. Your dad calls the shots around here, and it’s bad enough that he already doesn’t like me. I don’t want to make it worse.”

“What if I talk to him?” Carl asks. “It’s not really your fault that he doesn’t like you, I’m the one who asked you to sneak me alcohol, I could explain-”

“It’s already a done deal.” You say. “And I don’t blame Rick for being pissed with me for that, I should have had the wherewithal to tell you no.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad you didn’t.” He says. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” You say. Your gaze shifts to the window above the sink, the orange sun sinking below the horizon outside. “You should probably go home. It’s getting dark.”

Carl’s gaze follows yours, and he sighs. “Probably should.” He agrees sullenly. Slowly, he rises from his seat. “Thanks for the grilled cheese. And for talking to me.”

“You know you’re welcome anytime.” You say, standing up from your seat as well, despite your protesting muscles. 

You walk him to the door, holding it open as he steps out onto the porch. He turns back to look at you, that mischievous glint in his eye again. “Can I do something?” He asks, voice low. 

“Do what?” You shoot back, skeptical. 

He doesn’t answer, instead just stepping closer to you, his eye darting down to your lips for a second before meeting your gaze again. He approaches slow, giving you plenty of time to back away if you want to, but you don’t even though you should. The image of Rick standing on his porch across the street flares in your mind, but you still don’t pull away, and let Carl’s lips meet yours in a tender embrace. 

This kiss only lasts for a short moment before he’s pulling back, grinning like the cat who got the cream. “G’night.” He says.

“Night.” You return, stepping back through the threshold of your doorway before you do something stupid like kiss him again. You watch him retreat down your porch steps, catching the last grin he throws over his shoulder before he darts across the street, back home. 

Closing your door, you sigh hopelessly into the silence of your home. He’s going to be the death of you, one way or another.

[adokyoguen]

How would JJK characters react when you smack their cake?

read this first!

I had to ask a friend of mine for help to research what "smack their cake" means, lol

I don't know if what I wrote is exactly what is in the request, since my native language is Portuguese and not English.

So I hope that's really what I wrote.

AND PLEASE, if something is written wrong, my English isn't very good these days and I needed the translator's help, so I ask you to ignore it.

I hope you like it ;)

Suguru Geto

He would be a little uncomfortable being caught off guard, like, it's not normal for someone to slap your ass out of nowhere while you're walking down the street distracted.

Geto would turn to look at your face, in disbelief as he places his hand on the spot abused by your hand.

He would automatically have an existential crisis, but in the end, he would end up returning the slap.

Satoru Gojo

You forced Gojo to cook dinner while you showered and changed into comfortable clothes after your last mission. But when you walked past the room and saw Gojo on his back washing the dishes... you lost all your control and slapped Gojo's ass. The man knew you were approaching him from behind, but he didn't imagine you would hit his ass, making him take a few seconds to understand why his ass was burning.

When his system (his brain lol) kicks back in, he'd smirk and say, "Equal rights."

Now you were both sore, but he went harder on you.

Megumi Fushiguro

I don't see Megumi being comfortable with this, like, even if you're his girlfriend, I think it would be a little uncomfortable for him. If you were in a public place, he would be 100% sulky (looking like a 5 year old) and would be annoyed that you embarrassed him. If you were in a more private place, he would still be uncomfortable but it would be much less so than in public.

In both scenarios, you would have to go and apologize to him and after lots of kisses and affection, he would accept your apology and ask you to never do that again.

Yuji Itadori

There's no way around it, this boy would literally return the slap twice as hard as you imagined. If you had the freedom to spank his ass, he had that freedom too, right? But you didn't think he would hit you so hard, like... you could swear his handprint was left on your skin. No matter if you were in a public or private place, you would receive instant karma from Yuji.

Sukuna would be disgusted by the actions of the two of you. "How did humans become so disgusting to this level?" It would be one of the doubts that would cross Ryomen's mind.

Kento Nanami

If you did that in public, he might be uncomfortable and ask you not to do that again, not when there are people around. In private, he would probably let you spank his ass to see his smile, but he wouldn't feel good if it became recurrent.

Long talk about this, lol.

Yuta Okkotsu

Okay, this boy would panic. First he would think he had done something wrong to receive a slap from you, but then he would notice your laugh and his penny would drop and his cheeks would automatically turn red. (Rika probably wouldn't be happy about that lol)

He would never, I repeat, NEVER slap you back, he would never lay a finger on you, regardless if it was a joke or not. But he likes to see you happy, so he would do anything to see you smile.

Toji Fushiguro

Depending on his mood, he would just return the slap, or he would simply take it as an invitation for the two of you to be alone and automatically take you to the first room he found. But if you prefer the second option, know that you'll probably get more slaps than bread dough or something.

[fartcushion]

Mile High Sub - Part 3

The flight carried on with you locked in the toilet, as you sat on there too scared to make a sound. Over the hours you could hear the occasional shuffling as a passenger tried to use the toilet and seeing it marked out of order, waiting just outside for one of the others to become free. You'd hold your breath so they wouldn't hear you in there, the humiliation would be unbearable. Holding your breath helped as well because the place still stunk. Amir's shit had somewhat cleared, but there was the overall smell of toilet cubicle that was permanent.

You couldn't believe this has happened to you. From such an innocent mistake you'd been turned into the play thing of this giant of a man, and he was taking sadistic pleasure in tormenting you.

The pain in your stomach was getting so intense. Having not eaten the meal earlier and having been sat around for hours, the desperation to eat was growing. Made worse by the fact that you could hear the sounds from the kitchenette and knew they were preparing to serve the next meal. The smell of the cooking food wafted in, but you had to resist breathing it in as it only made you more hungry and with each inhale you were also subjected to toilet odour.

It was hard to say how long had passed, but the trolley had rattled off and stewards came back and forth several times to stock up. Every now and then you'd hear voices laughing outside your door or a quick kick, which brought you back to attention. They were probably laughing about how they were starving you. At least that's what you thought they were saying, but you were sadly mistaken.

Without warning the door latch clicked and the door swung open. Light poured in making you squint, but you could see the full frame of Amir blocking your escape, and in his hands was a tray of food. Any spark of hope that this was in any way a gesture of peace was extinguished when you saw it was the same meal from earlier. The carton lid that had been tampered with. The same opened bottle of water. Only thing that was missing was the squashed bread roll.

"I thought you might be hungry for it now", Amir said flatly with his thick accent. He gave no hint of anything away.

"Please...please can I go back to my seat?" You knew you sounded pathetic but you were desperate.

Ignoring your pleas Amir stepped in, closing the door and locking it behind him. The room, tight for one person, was now full. With you sat on the toilet he towered above you, the food tray held right in front of your face.

"Do as I say and I'll think about it. Now be a good passenger and eat the meal you nearly wasted earlier".

Too scared to argue you reached out, hands shaking, and took the tray. As you placed it on your lap and opened up the foil Amir smirked. Before you had chance to even put your fork in it he stopped you.

"I'm sorry, I have not warmed it up for you. Would you like me to reheat it?"

Just desperate to eat you poked the meal with the fork. "No, no, thank you. This is fine".

"It will be better warmed up, you want me to warm it". The question was dropped, and the tone was unmistakable.

Holding the tray you looked up, tears welling in your eyes. "Please, warm up my food".

"What ever the passenger wants". With that Amir turned around. He had to do it slowly as his large frame made it difficult to turn and his protruding ass wedged up against the sink. But it also had the added effect of exerting more dread over you. As his huge ass turned and stopped right over your meal, Amir looked down with pure sadistic joy in his eyes.

PPPPPPPBBBBBTTTTT

"Thank y-"

PPPBBBTTT

Ppppprrbbbb

"Thank you for warming up my food". You hoped by playing along it would end the ordeal quicker. Maybe he'd lose interest if you were too pathetic.

"You're welcome. Now eat it"

The smell of the farts masked any fragrance the meal may have had. It brought back the smell of the shit you'd been forced to endure earlier. Pushing that thought aside, you took a mouthful of food. The curry and rice was obviously stone cold and as best it could it still tasted decent. You tried not to think if you were getting any flavouring added.

"Would you like me to spice that up for you?"

Swallowing the mouthful you nodded.

Ppprrrrrrppp

Pppprrrrbbb

Taking another bite. "It's delicious, thank you". The smell was so foul. It had a sickly sweet smell, like manure. Every bit of you wanted to throw up the food, but you managed to keep it down.

Amir stayed in position as you carried on eating. Occasionally when you were caught with a mouth full he'd blast a fart in your face, where you were forced to breathe it all in and change the taste of the food on your tongue. Sniggering to himself each time.

As you neared the end of the dish he turned back round. "I'm sorry, I forgot to give you your bread roll". With that he reached in to his trousers. From under his cock and balls he pulled out the squashed bread roll from before. Now even more squashed, and as Amir had unwrapped it, dotted with in his pubes.

He handed you roll. You could smell it from a foot away, every fart had been a direct hit to it. It was warm and moist to the touch from being under his junk for who knows how long.

Without even thinking of protesting you took a bite. If you had been lucky before, you knew that this taste was his ass. It was sweat but also what you could only imagine what his ass would taste of. Again sickly sweet. You ate the bread slowly and with the last bite you violently shook with the need to throw up. Swallowing it back down, your body settled.

"Thank you for my meal. Can I please go back to my seat?"

"If you drink your water you can go back"

Hope reigniting you nod enthusiastically. You reach for the bottle, but Amir snatched it up first. Without a word he opened it up and started to down the small bottle of water, taking big gulps. At first you want to protest, he's doing this so you "fail" and have to stay here. That however was wishful thinking. Amir finished the last drop and binned the bottle. He let out a belch and lowered the zip of his trousers. Pulling out his long thick cock and holding it expectantly.

"Drink your water then. But remember, after this you're going to go back to your seat out there. If you move, if you fail to swallow quick enough, if you fucking bite me, then I will get piss all over you. You will sit out there soaking wet and stinking of piss. Do you understand?"

You nod.

"And this is not a fucking blow job, I know you're used to sucking a man's dick like a pervert, but just swallow my piss. Understand?"

You nod.

"Hurry up then, it's about to be all over you"

You'd been unsure if you could do it. Could you even get through this without throwing up. But all doubts were thrown aside as you lunged forward and got the cock in your mouth just in time to feel it engorge as the piss passed through. Immediately you start swallowing the warm stream as it fills your mouth. Trying to get air as you're forced to swallow again and again. Amir throws his hands behind his head enjoying pissing like a racehorse. It went on for minutes, the entire time locking eyes with you. As the flow subsided and eventually stopped he pulled his cock out and flicked it at your face, tapping his head on your tongue to make sure you got every last drop.

As much as you wanted to cry you resisted. Freedom was finally here. As if reading your mind Amir tucked his cock away and crouched down in front of you. "I'm only letting you out because we'll be landing shortly and if you were found out of your seat I could get in trouble. But know your place, faggot. I am your fucking master and I am not done with you yet".

Without even waiting for any response he let out another loud fart and forced your face down towards the source. Almost pulling off the toilet and dropping the tray in the process. Amir then stood up, opened the door and stood back to clear the way, staring at you.

The intention was clear. You were not allowed to wash your face, or swill your mouth with water. Do anything that may have somewhat removed the smell of the toilet you now were. Not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself, you slowly walked back to your seat. Watched the entire time by Amir.

[fandoms-are-my-friends-1321]

Adoring Stands

Here’s another JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fanfic! I love Mista with my whole heart, and I came up with this idea the other day and had to write it down. As always gif and characters are not mine, and if anyone would like to make a request, please feel free to ask!

Description: Guido Mista’s stand, Six Bullets, absolutely adore the reader, and they love to show the bullets affection in return. When Mista tries to rest after an exhausting mission, he is greeted by an adorable sight.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of fighting and violence from the mission, otherwise none (if I miss something though, don’t be afraid to point it out!)

After a successful mission, the Bucciarati gang loved to go back to the Libeccio for a five course dinner. Bruno spared no expense when it came to boosting the moral of his comrades, and each person took their seat in their usual spots. Abbachio sat to Mista’s left, his headphones playing classical music as he drank from his wine glass. To Mista’s right was Y/N L/N, the newest member of the team, followed by Fugo and Narancia. Bruno and Giorno sat across from Y/N and Mista.

“Excellent work today, Y/N. I must say your fighting skills continue to impress me.” Bruno commented as he took a bite from his garlic bread.

Y/N gave a slight smile as they bowed their head in respect. “Thank you, Bucciarati, but the mission would have failed without the help from the rest of the team.”

“Come on, don’t be so modest! You totally kicked that stand user’s ass.” Mista playfully nudged Y/N in the ribs, and they returned the favor by punching him in the shoulder. Narancia snickered at Mista and Y/N’s antics, and the rest shared knowing looks. The chemistry between the two of them had always been present, and the others loved to tease Mista about when he would make an actual move.

“What are you laughing at, uomo idiota?” Mista asked as he glared at Narancia. 

The younger boy laughed even harder as he twirled spaghetti around on his fork. “It’s nothing, Mista. You’ll figure it out eventually.”

The group continued to eat in silence, or it was silent until Mista’s stand, Six Bullets, complained about their own hunger. They all tried to climb up onto Mista’s plate to steal some of his food, except for Number Five, who had been punched by Number Three and knocked back onto the table. Number Five rubbed his swollen gold cheek as he started to cry, but Y/N quickly scooped them up into their hand.

“Easy now, Number Five, there’s no need for tears. Number three may pick on you, but you are just as valuable as the other bullets. Here, I saved you a little something.” Y/N offered part of their tiramisu cake to Number Five, and the bullet squealed happily as it pulled the dessert off the fork. Number Five quickly shoved the coffee-flavored cake into their mouth before the others caught them in the act.

Number Five hurried back to the group, and they whispered to Number One the kind deed that Y/N had done, hoping to earn some brownie points with the leader of the group. Of course, this wasn’t the first time that Y/N had slipped the Six Bullets desserts or extra snacks on the side apart from what Mista gave them, but it still excited each of them every time.

One by one, the other bullets sneaked off to steal some tiramisu from Y/N, trying their best not to catch Mista’s attention, but he wasn’t a fool. “Y/N! I told you not to sneak extra snacks to these guys! The last thing they need is coffee, especially since I will be the one dealing with the aftermath.” Mista shook his head, but Y/N simply giggled as they looked towards the Six Bullets.

“Do you all promise me you won’t trouble Mista? I would appreciate it if you take it easy on him, and if you behave, I might be able to spare a macaron or two.”

“We promise, Y/N!” The bullets replied in unison, causing Mista to shake his head at them, but Y/N noticed the start of a smile on the Italian’s face. After lunch came to a close, the Bucciarati gang headed back to their secluded hide out to rest. Bruno told them that it would be better if everyone lay low for a while in case other enemy stand users were still searching for them. Fugo and Narancia sat down on the couch in the common room of their hideout since Fugo promised that he would help Narancia with arithmetic problems. Bruno sat at the table by the window drinking a cup of tea and recording the details of the mission. Abbacchio sat across from Bruno listening to Monteverdi, taking a moment to reach across the table and take hold of Bruno’s hand. The capo smiled at the gesture and rubbed his thumb against the back of Abbacchio’s hand. Giorno worked on trimming a bonsai tree that had been a basket a few moments earlier before he transformed it with Golden Wind. The atmosphere radiated with tranquility, that is until Mista started pacing the floor.

The flirty interaction between him and Y/N was not the first, and yet the more time that passed the more that Mista felt something growing deep in his chest. It felt warm and comforting, but at the same time it made his stomach twist into nervous knots. The others told him numerous times that the feelings he experienced each moment he stood beside Y/N was love, but Mista still had some uncertainty. What if Y/N flirted with him for fun? It wouldn’t be the first time someone played with his feelings and left when boredom took over. “I’m going to go lay down for a while. Maybe some rest will help clear my head.” Mista walked down the hall and opened the door to the room he typically slept in.

Mista expected to see an empty bed, but the sight in front of him made his heart leap with joy and astonishment. Y/N laid on their back, their favorite blanket tangled over their legs as their eyes remained closed. The Six Bullets were curled up on Y/N’s chest, also in deep states of sleep. Number Five snored lightly as they nuzzled into the soft fabric of Y/N’s shirt. Mista grinned from ear to ear at the sight in front of him, and he thought to himself that this moment was sweeter than the chocolate cake he had for dessert that afternoon.

Trying his best not to wake Y/N or any of the Six Bullets, Mista crept over to the dresser and sat his hat on the oak furniture, running a hand through his curly locks. He crossed over to the side of the bed that looked the most spacious and settled into the spot. Mista leaned over and lightly touched Y/N’s shoulder. “Hey, you’re hogging my bed, bellissima.”

Y/N let out a groggy mumble as they opened their eyes. Their chest felt heavier than usual, and as soon as they looked down to see what was causing the weight difference, they noticed that the Six Bullets were still snoozing away. “I’m so sorry, Mista,” Y/N apologized. “I thought you were busy, and these guys were ready for their nap, so I offered them a comfortable place to rest. It appears I dozed off myself.”

Mista brushed the back of his knuckles against Y/N’s cheek, causing them to blush. “No need to apologize, especially after the ass kicking you did during our mission today. You deserve the rest, and clearly my Six Bullets are in the same boat.” It was Mista’s turn to blush as he glanced away to look out the window. “They really seem to like you Y/N, adore you is more accurate, and they aren’t the only ones who adore you with all their heart.”

Y/N gasped at Mista’s confession, but they could feel their heart swell with joy from his sentimental words. Y/N had developed feelings for Mista months ago, but after so many failed relationships, they thought that it would be impossible for someone like Mista to reciprocate the feelings. They reached for his hand, and Mista turned back to face Y/N. “I think you should lay down and rest a while too, Mista. I would say that you look even more attractive when you are exhausted, but I wouldn’t dare lie to the person I’ve had a crush on for months.”

A chuckle rumbled from Mista’s chest as he reclined on the bed and wrapped an arm around Y/N’s waist, pulling them closer into his warm embrace. The Six Bullets seemed to enjoy the extra warmth from Mista’s sweater as well, and for once in a long time, Mista felt at peace. “I’m glad to hear that you would not lie to me, tesoro, because now that you have confessed your feelings too, I will be by your side for as long as I live.”

Tag list: @pansexualtimcurryvampireelf

Y/N hummed as their eyes drooped shut, sleep taking over once again. Mista fell into his own peaceful dreams, but none of them could compare to his current reality where his dream had already come true.

[im-notbean]

Headcannons of; Quackity x Greek! Male! Reader

On god bro. I just really want somebody who speaks Greek on the QSMP. So in orderto cure this fantasy of mine I have now created this, sorry if you dont like the fact that Y/N is greek but I had to do it. Sooner or later okay-

⚠︎ Warning ⚠︎

Swearing

Some cultural things you might not understand

Might not be accurate to the cannon QSMP

This post has both Q!Quackity and CC!Quackity

Grammar mistakes

Characters might be a bit off to you

Mentions of Homophobia

Author kinda pools info about greek food-

If anything bothers you from above please, don't read!

CC!Quackity

・Your accent>>>>>>

・I'm sorry but he just loves it, especially when you pronounce certain words.

・Like saying yogurt and bread shit like that you know?

・If you say Alex in greek he gets scared- (Άλεξ [Álex] might not be accurate lol)

・Praise. Him. In. Greek.

・He get's so mad if you don't, goes full on Mexican on your ass-

・Quackity definitely respects your boundaries, so he'd ok with you not wanting to be public about your guy's relationship

・Especially with Twitter and shit (I refuse to call Twitter "X")

・Makes the funniest jokes and yall know those corny ass pick up lines

・Like "I wish you were my Xbox, cause I wanna play you all~~ night ♡"

・He definitely does those daily

・He can't cook for shit, so you have banned him from the kitchen

・It's always akward explaning that to your parents...

・Quackity loves it when you cook for him

・Especially Greek deserts (I'm just gonna fanboy over greek food for a hot minutes)

・Like tiramisu or like those almond cookies

・OR FUCKING BAKLAVA

・OR EVEN LOUKOUMADES

・Incase you don't know what I'm fanboying over, Tiramisu is an Italian dish so I'm not gonna go over it in much detail

・Basically a layered desert with espresso innit

・Baklava is one of the MOST iconic Greek deserts, it's layered with phyllo pastery, melted butter, and nuts!

・The most common are pistachios and walnuts by the way and theirs a layer of cinnamon-orange syrup pored over it once it is baked!

・Loukoumades are the Greek version of fried dough, their normally topped with honey, cinnamon, and walnuts.

・Anyway...

・He loves then sm

・If yall decide to make your relationship public, he wants you to decide how to do it.

・I personally believe you take over his stream one day as his "Special Guest"

・A cooking stream because y'know- it's iconic

・Your baking a classic greek disk.

・Gyro (Pronouced Yee-ro by the way)

・Basically Gyro is a dish that is a mix of lamb and beef (sometimes chicken too) that is made to fill pita bread.

・The sauce that is paired with is called tzatziki (it's really fucking good.) it normally has tomatos and onions and paied with greek fries.

・So your cooking the meat and stuff and Quackity just comes up behind you and you turn around right cause you know he's their

・So quickly, you bend down and kiss him.

・A little smooch before you kick him out th kitchen-

Q!Quackity

・You guys met on the train to the island.

・He tried talking to you but he seriously could not understand you, it wasas if you were speaking another language.

・When the government had paired people up, you didn't get a partner :(

・You also didn't really want an egg either, but you didn't mind babysitting them!

・Phil is so greatful for this-

・Quackity had heard about your egg sitting and decided to leave Tillin (I think i butchered this ngl) in your care

・Tillin loved you, she also liked the fact that she could understand you and offered as a translator.

・When Quackity came back he was surprised to see his own child translating what you were saying

・Once the new members joined you were assined partners with Tubbo (I am not sure if the new members have assigned parners ngl so...also are we getting new members today?)

・(Not even joking- ANYWAY LMAO)

・So y'know how Tubbo can get info out of Curchuro (prob butchered that again lol)

・You can do it also, sence your the only person on the server who can speak greek and not English he thinks the info he tells you is safe.

・You get Tillin to translate to Tubbo about what Curchuro tells you >:D

・Quackity learns about this and then he realized what the fuck is happening

・The he realized one day, you were gone.

・Along with the eggs.

・He never realized how much he liked you until you left...

・Quackity tried looking for you and the eggs

・But he never got far

・Tubbo also tried to help look for you, to no avail

・Not gonna lie, you and Phil got locked in a cage togther 😂

[creative-kny-fics]

I want to apologize for the person who asked me for the fic that I will show below. I was editing it and it was posted by mistake, it wasn't ready and in a panic, I deleted it. I ask your forgiveness 😭

Ler: Tanjiro Kamado

Lee: Muzan Kibutsuji

'Mr Kokushibo, you truly are amazing! I didn't know you could do so many tasks at the same time!'

'Thank you, I wish everyone would see it that way. But no problem, where do you want me to leave this box?'

'What do you mean by "I wish everyone looked like that"?', Kamado crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Michikatsu just shrugged and tried to justify himself by saying it was a lie, but Tanjiro knows when you're lying, so there was no way he could be fooled.

Even though Tanjiro insisted, the older man did not give in and once his "social work" was finished he retired and left the young man alone.

'It's not right that your boss or other people appreciate your work...' 'What did you expect? That's how grown people are Tanjiro, plus it doesn't seem like that guy cares enough to do anything. If it were him, I would have given up a long time ago and sent them all to hell.'

'Zenitsu! That's very cruel! Maybe he has his reasons... Mmmm, I know! I'll brighten his day by bringing him some desserts! They're sure to make him smile!', Zenitsu shook his head in disbelief and sighed, there was nothing he could do after all.

After a huge controversy over what dessert he should bring, Tanjiro finally opted to bring him some sweet breads, a few mochis and a huge slice of cake, it had to be enough.

Now the challenge was where he could find him, he didn't know where he worked, so that was the next mission.

'I wish I had spent more time with him to ask him where he worked... It's almost half a day... Half a day... Ooooh, I know where he goes to lunch! It must be there!'

But nope, the place Tanjiro went to didn't give him the answer he was looking for, this was harder than he thought.

'Is something wrong with you young man? I've seen you go around the street about 7 times. Are you looking or waiting for someone?'

'In fact yes, I'm looking for someone... But I don't think you know him... Anyway, thank you for your concern sir...?' 'My name doesn't matter now, little one! Why don't you tell me who you're looking for? I know most of the people in the city, maybe I can help you with something', well, there was nothing to lose, was there?

He turned around, the guy was a little tall, with blonde or silver hair, he couldn't be seen well because of the sun, but anyway.

He told him everything about the person he was looking for, this in case he didn't know his name or something similar. 'Oooooh, I know who you're talking about! I didn't know Kokushibo-Dono had friends at school hahaha!'

'Do you know him?! Do you know where he works?!'

'Sure, I'll tell you, but don't tell him that I was the one who brought you... His boss might get upset with him hahaha', Tanjiro agreed.

As they walked, Tanjiro was thinking seriously, was Mr. Kokushibo's boss so bad to bother just because he is friends with a child?

He shook his head, if he kept thinking about it he was going to end up kicking his boss and he didn't want any problems.

'Well, it's here, I hope I've helped you. Tell him to take good care of himself and that I hope to work with him again...'

'Thank you very much sir! Here, I'll buy you something to eat! It's the least I can do for helping me' 'No thanks little one, I'm sure Kokushibo-Dono eats too much hahaha. It's nothing, see you!'

Well, it was moment of truth, it was curious, there was no receptionist or anything similar, now who could he ask about where his office was?

'WHAT THE FUCK IS KAMADO TANJIRO DOING HERE?! HE'S GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING IF HE SEE US HERE!!'

'SHUT UP KAIGAKU!! We have to think... We are not going to achieve anything... We have to hide and SHUT UP or he will find us'

'And now what's happening to you? Kaigaku, if you're in trouble again don't expect me to save your ass...', Kaigaku shook his head and dragged Michikatsu to where the trio was.

When he looked out, he realized the young man's presence and sighed, leaving and covering his mouth as he dragged him to his office, luckily no one had seen them. 'What are you doing here kid? It's no place for you to be here, mainly, how did you find me?'

'I had help! And to answer your question, I brought you some desserts because I thought you...-'

Tanjiro's mouth was covered again, someone was approaching and it didn't seem to be anything good.

'KOKUSHIBO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT?!'

'Sorry sir, I'm coming right now. I got distracted by something' 'I'm not surprised, you're a distracted idiot sometimes', Tanjiro's patience ran out.

Despite Michikatsu telling him not to go anywhere or go out, Tanjiro did it to confront the adult, he was not afraid after all. 'That uniform...'

'Why are you acting like that?! Mr. Kokushibo tries his best and you should appreciate it! Don't yell at him!'

'Don't fuck with me, I don't have time to deal with brats like you. My head hurts so I screamed, I'll apologize, satisfied?'

Naaaaah, the way he said it didn't convince Tanjiro at all, so he came out from under the desk and stood in front of him with his arms crossed.

'Look kid, I don't know you, I'm not interested in knowing who you are and so on. So do me a favor and leave already or else I'm going to... AAAAAHAHAHA!!'

'LEAVE MR. KOKUSHIBO ALONE!!', do you believe what you just read?

Don't be scared my dear readers, Muzan is not ticklish even in his nightmares, and if so, why is he laughing?

Hasn't it happened to you that someone pinches you and instead of hurting you, it makes you laugh? Well, that's more or less what happened here. That "useless" squeeze probably also contributed to him laughing, but anyway, no one understands that man.

'Why are you laughing?! I'm hurting him!!' 'Yohohour stuhuhupihihid attehempt is whahahat mahahakes me laugh... You should...'

'Sir, I already brought you the files, where do you want me to...?', Michikatsu dropped his papers, why?

Well, it's not every day you see a kid kicking Muzan in the balls, so it was something new.

That inclusive blow hurt Michikatsu, who intervened and moved away, even knowing that it could cost him his dismissal. 'Sorry about that sir... By the way, here's the bill for your order...'

'Oh, sure, here you go young man and something extra for bringing you here'

'Thank you, see you! I hope you get better soon sir!', Tanjiro skipped away before disappearing.

You can imagine the scream that Muzan gave for having been humiliated by a child...

But hey, at least, Kamado definitely achieved his goal, he made Kokushibo smile.

[memeapple2]

Tails gets trolled rp starters part 1

yeah 😔 yes I'm leaving in the typos beacuse it's funnier that way :^) Fight me nerds!!

"Fuck you trolls!"

"They can't troll you if their dead!"

"I'm so mad, I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend so I won't be so mad."

"Dumbass will learn."

"Mad? U Mad? U look mad U stupid bitch!"

"sorry *insert name* if this looks gay to the viewers."

"the art of trolling was actually started from humans but it wasn't called trolling it was called being a dick but back in the middle ages i was being made fun of because i wasn't human."

"im extremely hurt you would think im a douche. it might not look like it but i have feelings and you hurt them."

"hey can you put that on a coaster?"

"They have been getting trolled. you know how it is. there calling *insert name* gay and shit they cant take it."

"the way to stop a troll. is to become his friend .as his friend you can show him the right path!"

*-goes back to knitting-*

"come i will talk to these kids and stop this hate with kindness!"

"sometimes there is need to do whats needed, if it was up to me *insert name* would be dead and we would never have to worry"

"im not gay I have a girl friend and i would like it if this conflict to end in peace"

"you must not know who i am. i have alot of talent and i have lots of friends. one of my friends is right beside me . and for what your saying isn't true, so i am not afended by your hateful comments"

"ehhh...... im gonna ignore what you just said and ask you one more time. lets end this hate and become friends"

"why don't we just be friends this is stupid"

"ok im gonna take a random guess and say you guys failed with that peace crap"

"i fucking knew it"

"hello dickheads so your the trolls i heard about"

"hey do you see that? it looks like a group of pokemon.coming at us"

"for a em→→breaded donkey i can sure fuck your mom hard."

"there isn't. you remember what happen when you guys tried peace? you cant talk to them. there to oblivious"

"yea remind me next time to not kill such a fat person"

"high shovel!"

"ok i'm gonna go back to sleep now good night."

"banana"

"don't worry man I killed the fat one. its all cool man. i know all about the taste for blood"

"thank you for proving that peace isn't shit. when it comes to trolls. your a good friend"

" *insert name* Wake up! you fucked up big time!"

"People can't troll me beacuse I have no ears. They can't troll me if I can't hear them!"

"What? I don't have fucking ears!"

"If you don't mind I'd like to continue knitting this!"

"did you know with seat belts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting!"

"have you ever been bitch slapped from lack of listening? Lack of doing what you're told? Beacuse I'm not that far from slapping you."

"which means I can be super powerful and kick everyone's ass..I'm gonna be awesomely badass!"

"trust me this plan will be better beacuse I'm gonna smoke my smart weed! I'm smarter when I'm high."

"Why are you filled with so much hatred and aggression? I'm finding it difficult to assume what you must have went through to mold you into the person standing in front of me now."

"Hey troll! FUCK YOU!!!"

"hmmmm this isn't as i thought it would be, killing people is really boring and all these annoying screams, i mean damn."

"Yeah that wasn't very good. I tried to do something similar to high shovel. Let's just forget about this."

"there is no need for any blood shed, this problem can be solved with out any villains"

"I do all kinds of stupid and gay shit."

"I’m starting to think that even if we pray our hearts out and know that we do wrong, that maybe there are things that god can’t fix and maybe, instead of putting our hope in god to fix all our problems we take action for our mistakes and learn from them."

"Sorry it took us so long to save you from TIME PRISON. So what did you do in TIME PRISON?"

"You gotta calm down bro, chill man, smoke a joint!"

"After 50 years I started to feel like I was losing my sanity so I started to break my fingers and I would just break my fingers and set them again. "

" I started breaking all my bones. I broke every bone in my hands. I broke my arms, separately, and then I started to break my own ribs. I broke my femurs, it took a while. And then I healed and broke them again."

"After 5000 years my bones were all scar tissue. They had all grown so solidly back together that I was unable to move. "

"And after another 5000 years of furious infinitesimal movement, I built up enough muscle mass to spontaneously break any bone in my body, and then I could move again. "

"My body had done so much healing that I healed almost instantly. That’s all I do now. Every time I move my body, my bones shatter and heal back in my next shape. If I take a single step, every bone in my legs splinters and then reforms. I don’t know what pain is because I have been alive for 10 million years."

"Okay but it looks like your walking normal."

"Well that's just stupid."

"oh sorry i forgot about this and took a nap and then took a shit. im so sorry i forgot but no worries man im here now"

"ahhhhh........................................................ yeah i dont know."

"hey your awful lonely. you must be a looser or something."

"this is the down side of having no ears, i can't hear if *insert name* is screaming for help or not, i mean i have no clue if hes screaming towards me back, so damn it having no ears kind of blows."

"hhahahahahahahahha i dont even know what the fuck you said?"

"i was trolled until i got bigger and stronger then them now i am feared"

".................... i have no importance to this story line what so ever, i think im gonna go."

"wow that story was super amazingly awesome, im not even joking right now"

"ahhhhhh so gay"

"we neutral's dont take sides in childish battles that normal people do. to pick sides is fullish."

"well most of the trolls are stupid but they all think there smart it's funny if you think about it."

"ummm. what object is like that? huh? ........ its unbreakable and its breakable? how is that possible? is it a liquid? hmmm i don't understand ?"

"now im gonna kick you right in your hairy ballsack"

"ok everyone! do you guys see this paper? well theres nothing on it yet but there will be"

"hey guys i was just telling him the plan. we are gonna do a all nighter and get fucked up hahaha its gonna be sweet."

"What? what are you talking about? We can discuss this further when there's not a gun in my face.."

"shut up, i got this alright, i got this shit in the bag, you'll see."

[beanghostprincess]

Sanuso Modern AU in which Sanji works as a waiter at the Baratie and Zoro invites Usopp to have dinner with him because Usopp's art school is close to Zoro's dojo. And so Usopp assumes (biggest mistake. Don't assume anything when it comes to this green-haired dumbass) that Zoro has money and will be the one paying. So of course, when they finish eating and they actually have to pay, Zoro says that he doesn't have any money with him and just assumed (biggest mistake. Don't assume Usopp will ever willingly pay when he could just take advantage of his best friend) that Usopp had money with him.

So, of course, Zoro tells him to wait there at the table. His apartment is close and he can just go there and grab the money! Usopp's second biggest mistake: Don't ever let Zoro walk home alone. Don't ever let Zoro be responsible for money stuff, either.

But Usopp realizes that fairly late when an hour has passed already and the staff is looking at him weirdly. He keeps chewing on the bread they had left and drinking water to look less suspicious, but he's dying from anxiety and Zoro just won't pick up the phone!

They're getting ready to close the restaurant and of course, they just had to send someone to tell him to pay and fuck off or- Or go to jail? What- What do they do to you when you don't pay in a restaurant? Is it like stealing? Usopp is going to die. They're going to murder him with the same knives they used to cut the chicken he ate.

The guy who approaches him with the bill seems exhausted and uninterested and Usopp really, really doesn't want to look up. "Glad you liked our shitty restaurant, but it's time to hit the hay for some and my boss wants me to kick your ass as quick as possible. So why don't you make this easier for both of us and just pay already instead of licking bread like a starving orphan."

Usopp is visibly shaking when he speaks up. "Uh- Yeah! Of course! Can't- Can't you add it to my-"

"We don't do that here, smartass, try something else. Like paying."

"Yes. Of course. I- I'll have you know I am the son of a very rich owner of a conglomerate and I'm just waiting for my chauffeur to come pick me up and give me my credit card! I just forgot I left it on the back of the limousine, silly me!"

There's a silence after that. A long, uncomfortable, and anxious silence that's only filled with the sound of other waiters cleaning the tables and moving chairs.

Then, the guy sits right in front of him. "Your friend ditched you, didn't he?"

And Usopp can't keep lying anymore, so he sighs while he looks up at the guy in front of him. "Forgot the money. He probably got lost on his way home."

The guy frowns, and Usopp doesn't have enough time to process how hot and handsome and classy and effortlessly cute he looks right now. With his long (Yes, Sanji has long hair here) hair in a bun and his tie undone. "That's pretty messed up." And he's being so genuine and serious about it that it almost scares Usopp, thinking Sanji might have taken it the wrong way.

"No! No. He's just a dumbass. And he- He lives literally not even two blocks away. He just can't tell between right and left."

"Dyslexic?"

"He's just stupid, but don't ask him to spell anything, either. I actually think he should go get that checked, though?"

And that makes the guy laugh. Like- Smile. With teeth and everything. And for a moment, Usopp doesn't give a fuck about the money.

"Tried calling him?"

"A few times. Then my phone died. And here we are! Are- Are you going to..."

"Going to do what, handsome?"

Okay. No. This waiter is going to be the death of him.

"Uh- If- If he doesn't come here."

"What would you want me to do?" And he rests his chin on the palm of his hand and whispers that so lewdly that it almost makes Usopp have a stroke. But then he laughs again, and just looks around the room before resting his back on the sit. "What I'm going to do is give you a phone charger, first and foremost. And then I'll keep you company while the dumbass of your friend comes here. Worst case scenario, you stay with us for a week cleaning dishes."

Usopp is starting to wonder if that really would be the worst-case scenario.

Long story short, Sanji gives him a phone charger and they stay at that table together for a long, long while. The restaurant is pretty much closed already but Sanji (that's the waiter's name. Sanji. Sounds good on Usopp's lips) stays with him. He tells Usopp about how he wishes he could be a real cook instead of just a waiter, but his father (surprisingly the owner of the restaurant) won't let him actually be a cook for real until he says so. Which seems to frustrate him, but still he speaks about his father with endearment. Usopp tells him about Zoro being stupid and one thing leads to another and he's telling him about anecdotes of his friend group. Sanji mentions Luffy, a friend of his that always comes here to eat, and how he would probably get along with Zoro because they're both dumbasses.

And the night keeps going. And going. And going. And it doesn't seem like Sanji is staying only to keep an eye on Usopp. It almost looks like he's flirting, and Usopp, somehow, has enough confidence to flirt back.

But of course, they had to ruin it. Someone knocks on the door of the restaurant and they both assume it's Zoro, but it's actually Nami instead. Zoro called her and told her everything, yadda yadda. She's exhausted and by the looks of her outfit, she was probably out partying when this happened. Usopp kind of wants to tell her to go away and leave them alone, but he just can't do that with Sanji in front of them.

Whatever. She pays for him. Adds it to his and Zoro's debt. And walks away, waiting for Usopp outside.

They both want to see each other again, that much is clear. But they're both also stupid, so neither asks for the other's phone number. And Usopp goes away without saying a word besides "Sorry I made you spend a Friday night with a stranger. At work, of all places."

To which Sanji responds with: "Well, despite what I said before, I really like my work. And I really, really liked that stranger, Usopp."

And it ends there.

Or it doesn't, because at some point they see each other again. Whether it's because Usopp goes to the Baratie again or because Sanji shows up suddenly in Usopp's art school. I won't say because I have no idea and this is just a concept, but I found it sweet!!!

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 40 - Mirror, Mirror

Astarion goes fishing (and not for fish).

On AO3.

Y’all coulda made it back by nightfall, now that y’all know where you’re going. But both Wyll and Gale agree that arriving after a whole day of hiking is a bad strategy (to the disappointment of Karlach and the disgust of Lae’zel). So y’all stop about an hour away—close enough y’all can be rested when you get there, but not so close a patrol might trip over somebody’s tent.

Gale has a spare canvas, nobody has spare poles or stakes; Karlach solves that problem by sauntering to the edge of the trees and ripping three saplings out of the ground to whittle into poles with that bigass ax.

She drives them into the ground and does not use a hammer.

You ain’t the only one watching this with a little too much interest.

big lady your brain chants.

She carries a regular pack, from which she pulls out a blanket that smells vaguely like vasoline, and a raggedy teddy bear she introduces as Clive. The bear is singed around the edges, and seems nearly shellacked in the not-vasoline stuff on the blanket. Some kinda fire-resistant salve she says.

She’s careful not to touch nobody, or even get too close. You watch this, lips pressed tight, chest hurting for her.

Dinner is, once again, bread and cheese and wine. No fire so close to the tollhouse. Karlach strikes up a conversation with Lae’zel about the best way to twist somebody’s head off, while Shadowheart watches over the rim of her goblet.

Gale, without much to do in the way of a cook fire, plops down outside his tent with a book, several scrolls, and an ink pot to start scratching away. Meanwhile, Wyll volunteers to go on patrol—make sure y’all really are out of fake paladin range—and set up some snares. You can’t tell if he’s upset with y’all’s decision to let Karlach join, or if he don’t like her around, or if it’s some secret third thing that’s got him so tense. He’s seemed like a real good dude—though everybody has shit takes on something.

The sun sinks low and the light goes gray as evening deepens. Lae’zel actually takes a night off from breaking your ass (either distracted by Karlach, or deciding that leaving you like, rested, increases your chances of not fucking anything up tomorrow).

Which leaves you just…hanging out. For the first time, you have the mental and physical energy to stay awake, but you have no phone, no internet, no books or movies or anything to fiddle with. Maybe you could work on that strip of linen Astarion “gifted” you. But then he’d see you doing it and start shit and besides, you got no clue how to sew.

You’re so busy trying to think up a way to be busy, that you notice the man skulk out of his tent. He’s got something shiny in his hand. He’s positioned his tent slightly facing away from the fire, tonight, which leaves it facing your tent more than usual. He’s not, like, hiding, but he’s not out in the open as he holds up what you realize is a mirror.

Huh. Lots of different cultures have vampire lore; you wonder if the mirror thing is accurate. You got nothing better to do, so you find yourself trailing over, coming up behind him.

“Looking at something?” he says. It’s addressed to you, even though he hasn’t glanced over.

“Saw me coming?” you say.

He stares a moment longer, before turning. There’s no sparkle to his eyes, tonight. His lips are a straight line. “The only benefit to a mirror when you have my condition. It doesn’t make up for a lack of reflection, mind you.”

Ah. That part of the lore is true, then. Ouch.

“Sorry to hear that,” you say. “You must miss it.”

And then you want to kick yourself over how stupid that sounds.

“Preening into the looking glass? Petty vanity?” he says all flamboyant. Until he deflates. Until you see what might be a flash of sadness in him. “Of course I miss it. I’ve never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red.”

You didn’t know about the eye color thing. None of the others are anywhere nearby; you wonder if that’s why he’s letting this show. He’s never made so much as a peep that wasn’t joke-flirting, complaining, stabby, or bored.

“What color were they before?” you say. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“I—” he starts. Blinks a few times and there’s the barest shiver of, dare you call it, vulnerability in his face. “I don’t know. I can’t…remember.”

He stares out at nothing for a pause. Don’t got the presence of mind to slip the smarmy mask back on. It’s like he…like he just realized that. Doesn’t remember his own eyes.

Then his face shutters. Tight-lipped anger slips down and buries all traces of confused horror. He chucks the mirror to smash on the ground.

You try not to wince even as you take a step back.

“My face is just another dark shape in my past,” he says. Looks away. “Another thing I’ve lost.”

You can forget some details about your own face, sometimes. You don’t generally wear makeup (never learned, and then when you could, that shit is expensive), and your hair mostly sorts itself out when you comb conditioner through it in the shower. So you don’t see your reflection every day (the ladies room at the office don’t have a mirror—used to be a closet until the seventies or eighties when they converted it).

But you know your eyes are dark brown the way you know your own name. It’s just a fact about you. You can’t imagine what it would take to just…lose that.

“How long you been a vampire?” you say.

His gaze flits around a second. “About two hundred years, give or take. Things start to run together a little.”

Two…two hundred years? Under that fuckface? Without ever being able to see himself?

Holy fucking shit.

Holy fucking shit.

And yet, he’s standing here, traveling with all y’all, acting…well, not normal. But he ain’t catatonic. He’s only killed people when y’all were fighting already, and he only tried to bite you the once (without asking). He’s talking to you, and he makes jokes and…

And he said you were his first “thinking creature” blood.

In two hundred fucking years.

The kind of strength it would take to scrape himself together and hold in there…even if it was barely. Even if he wasn’t all there. You’d known that shit for over a decade. But two hundred motherfucking years.

You been staring. He notices, and turns to you. “What?”

The man teases you. Steals from goddamn refugees (he has got to stop that). And he hasn’t seen his face in two centuries. You can maybe afford to make a fool of yourself if the idea blooming in your brain makes a fool outta yourself.

“I can be your mirror,” you say, your neck heating up, trying not to squirm. “You don’t have to. Or I don’t have to. If I made this weird, that is. I can, uh, leave.”

His eyebrows twitch down into a micro frown. He stands there a hot second, sucks in a breath through his nose. His mask is slipping again, and the man underneath…

“I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me,” he says. “What, well, what you see.”

Slight emphasis on the “you” that you ain’t gonna read too much into.

A long face. Thick brows. A strong, straight nose. Thick lips, pointy chin, and floofy, white hair.

You ain’t never really described somebody in detail. Not like this, and not to their face directly. You ain’t a poet or an artist. This was probably a really bad idea.

“Your face is very, uh, symmetrical,” you say.

He pauses a moment, before drawing back. “Oh darling, you’re terrible at this.”

Fuck you, too!

“Well, I mean, it’s the most noticeable thing aside from the granny hair.”

And now he fucking recoils.

“What? I have the best hair in camp. If this is your idea of a joke—”

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m kidding,” you say. It’s only kinda a lie. It’s granny hair, no two ways about it. “Your hair is very shiny and it looks real soft. The rest of you” —you wave your hand vaguely around— “looks good.”

“Really?” His usual smirk slips back on and he damn near purrs. Then he lifts his hands and gives a slow, little runway spin. “Anything in particular?”

Jesus lord. Man’s moods turn on a fucking dime and he cannot stop being a prima diva.

You think. What would you want to know about your own face? You got no idea how elves age or how old he was when he got bit. He looks young, in the dim light, but there’s an age to him, a smattering of fine lines at the corners of his eyes that you started noticing on yourself recently. You ain’t gonna mention how gaunt his cheeks are, even if they do make the bones stand out all high fashion or whatever. It ain’t a healthy look (any time anybody mentions native cheekbones, you have to bite back the little historical fact that a lot of those photos was of starving natives, of course their cheekbones stood out like that, their food sources were butchered, burned, or a thousand miles away after a forced march).

You’re gonna ask in the morning if Wyll can bring back what his snares catch before he field-dresses them, and ask Astarion if he wants the blood. Man needs to eat more often. Put some goddamn flesh on them bones (oh god, you sound like your aunties).

“You got these eye creases when you smile,” you say.

But he does not take that as the compliment you mean.

“Excuse me?” he says like you just called his mama ugly. “I’m an eternally young vampire, forever beautiful.”

Forever corpse-y.

“It’s a good thing.”

“It sounds an awful lot, my dear, like you just called me old.”

“You just said you was at least two hundred.”

He gestures down to himself. “Vampire. Come on, darling, you can do better than this sorry excuse.”

And then the man has the audacity to fucking pose. Hand on his hip. Shoulders swaying like some old-timey, rich debutante.

“This whole thing is just you fishing for compliments, huh?” you say.

He looks at you like you’re the weird one. “Well of course it is. Now don’t leave me waiting.”

You ain’t sure if this entire cluster started as a sham, or if it just naturally devolved into one (he’s very good at the latter). His frustration had seemed genuine, though. He wouldn’t meet your gaze for a time. And you’re picking up on a pattern: obfuscation. He gets all fussy and theatric right around the time you notice (or he notices, maybe) he’s expressing something that ain’t flirt or murder.

You…kinda want to see what he’s trying to hide. What’s actually under that mask you caught a glimpse of.

In any case, it’s funner to play along right now, so you don’t got to think about the bullshit waiting tomorrow.

What would a vain peacock like him want to hear?

“Your eyes,” you say. “They’re real sharp, especially when you’re focused on something. I think people call that ‘piercing.’”

He rolls said eyes. “Acceptable. Finally. Now just tell me I’m beautiful and we can end this travesty.”

And you can’t help yourself. “Well, Karlach is beautiful. You’re fine, though.”

The moment of truth. See if he’ll engage…

He gasps, but through a grin. Literally splays his fingers over his chest. “How dare you. I thought we had something special.”

Warmth flutters through you. You set the game down and he picked it up. He’s returning it. Holy shit, you went and established banter with a maybe-friend. It’s a damn good thing you got so much practice keeping your face blank.

He clucks his tongue. Nudges at you with his hip. “Still. You’re nice, too.”

Well that’s an overstatement. You are plain and plus sized, and it ain’t some false-modesty thing. If you ain’t in some colorful or flowery blouse, you can feel kids staring at the store. More than once you caught a, “Is that a boy or a girl” and a parent frantically shushing.

You’d always thought the boobs would be a giveaway (they ain’t subtle), but hey, baggy clothes.

Sailing too close to the rocky Shore of Truth. Time to veer back into the humor pool. You deadpan. “Oh good. The pretty boy thinks I’m acceptable. Now I won’t have to cry myself to sleep in shame.”

The smallest snort tears out of him. Seems to catch him off guard. But he quickly folds it under his mask and sighs. “I’d better go get some beauty sleep, darling. Seems like I need it if I’m to catch up with the competition.”

“You do that,” you say, letting a tiny grin crack your own stoic mask.

Which he returns.

Which is right when the ground in the middle of camp cracks open and some kinda hell goo burbles up, spinning in a vortex, before it bursts into flame. Out pops a winged demon lady with her tits half out.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[not-a-seagull]

PRISON CELL – 06: “White Figure”

Background: Crow Prison Cell

Music: None.

Eiden: Whew… I’m exhausted…

Eiden: (Didn’t take that guard long to get on my back again after Quincy saved my ass…)

Eiden: (Ordering me to scrub the toilets the entire day, I haven’t eaten a scrap since breakfast… I could eat a horse right now…)

Eiden: (And even if i found a way to get close to the big guy, he’d probably just fob me off…)

Eiden: (What’s more, his little stunt at breakfast this morning seems to have raised his prestige around this place… Now he’s constantly surrounded by other inmates…)

Eiden: (I don’t know what I’m gonna do…)

Eiden: Whoa, I think I might be a little too hungry… I could swear I saw a white blur moving around outside—

Eiden: …!

Background: None.

Eiden: No, there really is something there…

Eiden rises from his bed and fixes his gaze on the far end of the walkway outside his cell where he can make out a small white figure moving at high speed.

Eiden: Wait… I remember the inmate from the other day mentioned something about a white phantom—

Eiden: Gyah! A ghost—

Eiden: No wait, that’s…

Background: Crow prison Cell

Eiden: Topper?!

Music: BGM 020

Topper: *squeak*!! *squeak* *squeak*!

The agile white figure leaps in front of Eiden and with a flick of his tail hands him a small object.

Eiden: What’s this…? Bread?

Topper: *squeak* *squeak*! *squeak*... *squeak*!

Eiden: Wait, did Quincy ask you to bring this to me?

Topper: *squeak*!

Eiden: I’m not sure if that’s a yes or not, but I feel better either way…! Thanks, Topper!

Topper: *squeak* *squeak*!

Eiden: I’m so glad you’re your normal self… not like Quincy…

Topper: *squeak*... *squeak*?

As Topper moves closer, Eiden can’t help but lift him up and rub his cheeks against the small creature’s soft white belly, savoring his refreshingly sweet scent.

Eiden: Topper~ You go tell Quincy that he can ignore me as long as he wants— I’m not leaving until he tells me why he’s really here!

Eiden: (It’s not like I can just walk out of this place anyway…)

Topper: *squeak*!

Topper taps his tiny paws on the top of Eiden’s head, kicks off, and leaps into the air, sending the fabled white phantom of Crow Prison disappearing into the darkness.

Background: None.

Music: None.

The small figure speeds across the walkway, quickly returning to his oldest friend’s side.

Background: Quincy’s Cell in Crow Prison

Music: None.

Quincy: … Did you find him?

Topper: *squeak*!

Topper: *squeak*... *squeak* *squeak*...!

Quincy: ……

Hearing what topper has to say, the fair-haired forest guardian gives a sigh.

Quincy: … Little devil, always looking for trouble.

***

Two days later—

Background: Crow Prison Cell

Music: BGM 015.

Yakumo: Mr Eiden… Look at you, you’re so thin and frail…

Eiden: What are you talking about? I’ve only been here a few days…

Yakumo: You may have a mission to complete, but it seems prison life is eating away at you mentally and tormenting you physically…

Eiden: H-Hold up! Aster, you told Yakumo about my plan?

Aster: Hey, now, Master, you know I’m not one to go around keeping secrets! All i did was share a tale of unjust imprisonment~

Eiden: Yakumo, really, I’m fine, there’s no need to worry…

Eiden: Getting back to business, did you bring what i asked for?

Yakumo: O-Of course!

Yakumo removes a paper-wrapped package from his pocket, and Eiden smells an enchanting aroma float through the air.

Eiden: Wow, it smells great! thanks a bunch, Yakumo!

Eiden: … And what about you, Aster?

Aster: Hehe~ But of course, Master! They don’t call me the sweetest familiar in all the land for nothing~

Smiling, the vampire hands Eiden a canvas pouch filled with thumb-tip-sized orbs that clack against each other as they move.

Eiden: Wow, these look even better than I imagined. Do they work okay?

Aster: The dumbass incubus and I tested them ourselves. Trust me, they work like a charm!

Aster: But you better be careful, Master. A dessert is one thing, but if they caught you with these, who knows what they’ll do to you?

Aster: Don’t get me wrong, with my level of influence, smuggling in something like this is child’s play… Still, you’d better keep a low profile, okay, Master?

Eiden: Don’t worry, I promise I’ll be extra careful.

End of Chapter.

Sources:

Background Images: NU Carnival wiki.

Collectable Items Images ("Frosted Cookie" and "Mini Magic Bombs"): NU Carnival wiki.

Topper Image: Screenshot taken from this video.

Transcript: did it myself, with the help of this video.

Last chapter: Prison Cell 05 | Next chapter: Prison Cell 07

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

T-Rated Lashton Masterlist

and I breathe disaster, ever after (ao3) - expectopatronuz T, 25k

Summary: The Winter Soldier lands, and if Calum felt heavy before, now he feels empty. Everything inside of Calum, his heart and lungs and stomach and throat, they all drop right down to his feet. Calum is dizzy, he’s breathing but nothing is coming in. His mind is blank, every moment of his life up to this minute, gone. None of it matters, not a moment, except for this; Calum reaching out, the handle tearing away from the side of the train, and the way his heart fell out of his chest when he realized that there was nothing he could do, that it was too late.

or, Calum is Captain America and Michael was his best friend (and maybe more)

Burned By Love (ao3) - JcLoveex (orphan_account) T, 3k

Summary: “I don’t think you do babe, I think you’re lying.” Luke smirked lightly, even though his pants were so fucking tight. “Are you lying Ashton? You don’t want me to fuck you, you want that guy to fuck you don’t you? You want him to spread you open and fuck you senseless don’t you? Want him to eat your ass and call you those names you love so much while you ride his tongue, don’t you Ash?”

Or the one where Luke has to remind Ashton who he belongs to.

Christmas Tree Farm (ao3) - no_clue_who T, 14k

Summary: Ashton walked into the apartment to see Luke pacing around the room, phone on his ear. Ashton waved to him as he slowly closed the door, he watched Luke climb up onto the couch and onto their coffee table. He put his bag down, and took off his coat and scarf, trying to ignore Luke’s conversation with his family.

“Yes mom, I’m going home,” Luke said, stepping down onto the floor again, “Ben and Jack won’t have to do everything-” Luke waved to Ashton once he saw him, “Yes mom, I won’t leave them alone to do anything. No, he, he isn’t sick, I won’t have to take care of him.”

Ashton walked into their kitchen and grabbed something, trying to remember who Luke would have taken care of. He turned around and saw Luke back on the table, one hand gesturing wildly.

“No mom I can’t,” Luke stopped talking and looked at Ashton, “He might be going away!”

domestic bliss (ao3) - sunshineash T, 8k

Summary: 5 times ashton irwin kicks luke hemmings out to sleep and 1 time he lets him stay

Energy Drinks, A Black Cat& Other Signs of Vampirism (ao3) - Headgehog_Louis007 michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 80k

Summary: “What? it’s just garlic bread.”

“Aren’t vampires like.. I mean.. don’t they not like garlic?”

A fic in which Michael is a vampire and every trope about vampires is wrong.

fight so dirty but your love’s so sweet (ao3) - softirwin luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 11k

Summary: Luke hates a good ninety-five percent of his job.

A solid thirty percent of that comes from the fact that he works as a receptionist at a hotel, which he thinks is possibly the most thankless job humanity could possibly have created. A further ten comes from the fact that his desk is right next to the kitchen, meaning mouth-watering smells are constantly wafting under his nose, and Luke’s not allowed to eat on shift.

Fifty-five percent of it, though, is Ashton.  

-

written for the prompt 'lashton bad boy’

give me something real (ao3) - rocketshiptospace T, 14k

Summary: or, the five times luke and ashton hid their relationship, and the one time they didn’t.

give you my sunshine, give you my best (ao3) - lifewasradical T, 2k

Summary: Luke knew it was a bad day from the moment that he and Ashton woke up. Correction, Luke was having a perfectly fine day, almost bordering on a good day, but from the second that he laid eyes on Ashton in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth, he had the inkling that this was not going to be a good day for Ashton.

Or, Ashton has a bad day and Luke tries to work it out with him.

hold you closer than I ever did before (ao3) - softzindagi T, 32k

Summary: “What’s the date,” Ashton asks, cracking an eye open at the doctor. He wants to know how many months he’s lost, he doesn’t want any bullshit spiel doctors tend to give.

She looks back at Luke and gives him a nod, like hearing it from Luke will make it better, more real somehow. Luke comes around the side of his bed and reaches out for Ashton's hand, as if trying to ground him, his blue eyes looking so fucking sad. “It’s September 30th, 2025.”

or; Ashton falls at a gig, loses four years of memory, and forgets he and Luke are together.

if these walls could talk (they've seen way too many things) (ao3) - softirwin T, 26k

Summary: luke gets stuck at ashton's during lockdown

if we make it through december (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) T, 28k

Summary: “I didn’t tell them,” he blurts. Ashton falls silent on the other end of the line. “My family. I didn’t tell them about the breakup. And I know that I should’ve and I swear I will, but Gram asked about you today and it’s probably her last Christmas with us and you know how much she loves you. I couldn’t do it. It’d break her heart, and I can’t do that to her. Not right now. So if you– I mean. What I’m trying to say is that you’re still invited to Christmas, if you want. You don’t have to, I can make an excuse for you, and I swear I’ll tell them after the holidays, but I thought maybe… maybe you’d want to see them one last time.”

I’ll Give You The Best Years (ao3) - FayeHunter T, 4k

Summary: Luke and Ashton have their backyard wedding

let me love you - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) T, 10k

Summary: Luke Hemmings is a rockstar with a troubled past. He’s struggling with an alcohol addiction and a career that’s going downhill, but Calum isn’t giving up on him. Calum suggests Luke a fake boyfriend to help keep the bad press away. That’s where Ashton comes in, Ashton who is an embodiment of sunshine. Luke’s hesitant due to his failed past relationships, but he agrees, because he knows this is what he needs to save his career.

rebound feelin’ like a rerun (ao3) - lifewasradical T, 33k

Summary: “Alright what the fuck?” Michael shouts, dropping himself down in the open corner of the couch. “What the fuck?” he says again, leaning forward on his knees, staring at Ashton across the room.

Ashton just shrugs. “He left me.”

The lack of emotion in his voice is concerning, completely free of the bubbling laughter and attitude filled charm that normally coats his words. It’s just empty, sort of bitter but mostly void of feeling, like he’s detached himself from the situation completely.

“But why?” Luke finds himself saying.

“He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Somebody To Love (ao3) - heart_is_gonna_flatline T, 8k

Summary: Or, Luke needs someone to love but can’t seem to find the right person. He always turns to his roommate and best friend Ashton for comfort. He meets Calum. Will he be the one for him?

something’s telling me you’re the one (ao3) - rocketshiptospace T, 9k

Summary: Luke opens his locker and a paper falls out, fluttering to the floor and landing in front of Luke’s feet.

He quirks a confused eyebrow and picks it off the floor, studying it closely. It’s a simple, hastily folded and very crumpled piece of yellow lined paper, obviously torn from a notebook.

On it, written in a slightly messy handwriting he doesn’t recognize, is just one simple sentence.

‘Fuck them, I think your glasses look cute.’

or, luke has a crush on ashton, who’s totally out of his league and someone’s leaving him little love notes in his locker.

Warm On A Cold Night (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) T, 6k

Summary: In retrospect, Luke probably shouldn’t have offered to give Ashton a ride. He knows that now, thanks to the awkward silence and the nerves in the pit of his belly. But at the same time, what was he supposed to do? Leave Ashton standing out there in the harsh cold of winter? Of course not. Good people don’t do such things, and Luke likes to think of himself as a fairly good guy.

(Or, Luke and Ashton get stuck during a snow storm. But, maybe it’s not as terrible as it seems.)

when I'm down, you'll always know (ao3) - lifewasradical T, 1k

Summary: Luke couldn’t explain how he ended up laying across the floor in his bedroom, staring up at the ceiling in silence, counting the freckled dots across the plaster. He couldn’t remember most of the day anyways, lost in a haze of empty thoughts and mindless nothingness.

Or, Luke is having a numb day and Ashton is there to help, like always.

[turtlesocksv2]

Kinnporsche 12 Rewatch Thoughts

God, Chay not going through with the university interview is fucking heartbreaking. But if I was Porsche I would kick his ass, my god given right as Older Sibling. Porsche spent years busting his ass off working at the bar to give Chay the opportunity at a better life, is encouraging him to go to music school which is one of the worst fields re: actually making any money, and JOINED THE GODDAMN MAFIA so that Chay could keep his house and go to school and this ungrateful little shit! just throws it away! because he's ~sad about a boy~! NOT IN MY FUCKING HOUSE. Chay would be suplexed through a table if I was his older sibling. (yes yes i know it's more complicated than that and Chay is going through a lot! but my older sibling rage does not care for logic or reason, here)

I know Porsche and Pete are Besties but Porsche and Arm have such a solid friendship. Arm is his Bro. Arm is Team Porsche. They have secret codes about stalking Kinn for jealousy reasons. Arm asks Zero questions. Code Red?! Here is your access to all our surveillance tech, Porsche! but also, Porsche really needs to learn not to listen in to conversations when he's not ready to hear them.

Just Normal Kidnapping Things - reading horoscope books with your kidnappers pet hedgehog and making fun of/psychoanalyzing your kidnapper by telling him that he is sensitive and needs love. Hmmm, also I think Vegas knows here that something is wrong with Khun Spikes. Not how serious it is, but that something is Off.

Kinn admits that Korn was the one really pushing for him to get Porsche to work for them by any means necessary and Porsche asks THE burning question: Why Him? Kinn offers to help Porsche get the answers, but Porsche realizes that Kinn can't help him, not really. Because asking the questions Porsche really wants answered is going to involve going against Kinn's dad. And Kinn is the wrong Theerapanyakul for that. (ask Tankhun, porsche! Tankhun could probably get you the answers! The tragedy that no one realizes how smart Tankhun is.)

Every time Korn opens his mouth in this scene:

just straight up lying! all the time! When Porsche storms out and Kinn gives his dad the "really? you just fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me i can't believe you." look, that is not enough!

Ok so I absolutely believe the meta that Khun Spikes died while Pete was asleep and Vegas was just waiting for him to wake up so that he could stage Pete's 'escape'. He made sure Pete knew there were no guards, he left the key, the shirt. it was on purpose. the clues are all there. He had one pet die in that fucking safehouse and didn't want another. But Pete can't bring himself to leave when he sees how sad Vegas is. After they bury Khun Spikes, Vegas walks away from Pete, he doesn't even look back. He's letting Pete go!!! But Pete chooses to stay!

RIP Khun Spikes. King. Legend. Your legacy lives on.

You know, i didn't notice the first time through, but the cinematography and art direction in the VegasPete Fuck Nasty bondage chain sex is like...really unsettling. with the music and the quick cuts and everything. these are not two healthy individuals making smart choices and I love that for them. glad it works out for them in the end.

aaaaaand we immediately go to Bread Product Placement. fucking love Farmhouse Breads for greenlighting the absolutely batshit insane product placement. them and Deutsche Bank.

Kinn is such a schmoopy, gooey bastard when he's in love. "i could live anywhere as long as it's with you" Korn is now terrified that Kinn is gonna pull a Nampheung and run off with a Kittisawat Boy.

here we go, the really fucking weird Tay-Porsche conversation where Tay says that Time doesn't really love him and it's not like it is with KinnPorsche. what an absolutely batshit weird thread that's just vaguely in the background. i have to know what was cut for time/pacing. also, I think Tay might have had feelings for Kinn at some point and even if he's not currently, like, in love with Kinn there's still a light "Kinn would treat me better than Time does :(" energy. and he's right! Kinn would treat him better than Time does! Dump Time's fickle ass! When Porsche tells Tay that he and Kinn are both out of the business now, Tay gets this look on his face like:

And of course Korn can sense that Kinn is happy and has to crash the party and ruin it. (I do like how in tune Tay and Time were here, they've been Kinn's friends long enough to realize it's about to go down and they should leave.)

I do have to wonder what that dude did to piss Korn off that he gave Porsche his picture and address and said "this is the man that killed your parents. have fun :)" He had to know there was the possibility that Porsche would go through with it. just like there was a possibility that he wouldn't. so did korn care if this guy dies? does he die a few weeks later in a mysterious accident anyway? HMMMM. Anyway, Porsche choosing not to kill the guy is such an important moment. We're on a Porsche Corruption Arc but he's not that far gone.

Chan just looms in the background and i am dying to know what he knows. what he thinks. he's been korn's right hand man and closest bodyguard for so long. he must know so much.

Kim realizing just how much he fucked up with Chay is hilarious. And Chay trying to have his post-breakup rebellion is even funnier. sir, you are a kitten you do not drink or do drugs or have dyed hair.

Uncle Thee is a dick for extorting Porsche, but you know what, Stopped Clocks and all that. He's right to tell Porsche not to trust Korn. I do wonder if he knows exactly what happened back then or if he's just bullshitting.