#like at this point i wanna say that he's very aware and conscious of the fact that he's attracted to her and COULD fall

[invinciblerodent]

it feels like poor Lace is resigned to watching Bellara and Marcus flirt (by which i mean completely nonsexually figure out puzzle after puzzle in Arlathan) today

i'm sorry girl, I just wanted to listen to that one elven lullaby banter again😔

[kendrysaneela]

Okay so I wanna talk about Max’s relationship to queerness as we’ve seen on the show so far.

Starting with the gay quiz scene. Avery and Tristan show they are clearly willing to acknowledge queer culture and find a place in it even if they don’t yet identify as queer at this point in the show

Max is willing to acknowledge queer culture and respect it BUT he will only do so in the most manly of ways such as calling himself a jock and refusing Daddy that everyone else is calling him

I think this is illuminating since Avery and Tristan are both fully willing to continue with their throuple arrangement whereas Max was covering his face and refusing to even acknowledge it as a possibility.

I feel like this really plays into their throuple dynamics and how Avery and Tristan are fully into being a throuple (Avery is the most enthusiastic but Tristan also had no problem with being in a throuple before he was rejected by Max and shown by Avery that she was only really interested if it was the three of them)

And the thing about Max and queerness is he is seemingly no stranger to it he just represses it or hides it or rejects it every time it comes up somehow.

Then there’s the fact that he’s had a threesome before but refuses to talk about it.

We don’t know the genders of the people in that threesome but still. It’s interesting how Max had a threesome in the past and basically coaxes Tristan and Avery into asking about it.

Also Max is the one who brought Tristan and Avery back to his room AND Max just like Tristan and Avery put have a good threesome on his bucket list.

Not to mention him joining the threesome with very little convincing just one stare from Tristan, one stare from Avery and bro was on board. But then YET AGAIN he makes a pact for them to never speak of it again. I bet you the pact was Max’s idea.

His CLEAR crush on Ken whether he was aware of it or not. His flirty attitude towards Tristan in the pilot (probably not conscious but it was there)

He does these little forays into queerness and then immediately rears back. And we know as a person just from his general character he’s very repressed and we know that the whole reason he even came onto The Odyssey is for work life balance and for joy and new experiences like seeing the world. Adventure essentially is what he’s looking for. Life as he said. But yet he has to be pulled into adventure kicking and screaming every time. Avery and Tristan telling him the beach party was okay and having to convince him to go in the first place, Rosie and Corey trying to convince him to go to a party in episode 8. Once again the fact that even though he was CLEARLY on board with the threesome he still had to be coaxed into admitting it.

Cause here’s the thing about Max. He wants to broaden his horizons SO bad!!! But that takes work and effort and bravery and most importantly, NOT INTELLECTUALIZING YOUR EMOTIONS. (And as we saw from his reaction to Avery’s pregnancy he sees emotions as problems he needs to solve instead of things he needs to feel or examine) But Max is terrified of doing that. He wants to broaden his horizons but he’s terrified to do so. So he just does these little jumps in and out of his horizons where he’ll jump out for a second and then jump right back in. That’s why he did the threesome had fun with it and then essentially shoves himself right back into his little box and says that he doesn’t wanna do it again even though he literally acknowledges it was wonderful.

The reason Max is repressed is because he’s terrified of what he’ll find if he actually looks inward. But oh my goodness does he want to find out what’s inside of him so bad that’s why he does stuff like have a threesome with Avery and Tristan but break it off even though he enjoyed it. Actually does go to the parties and have fun at them and a bunch of the other random stuff he does. But every time he breaks out of his bubble just a little bit he panics and shoves himself back in again. He’s just not currently willing to do the work to learn what’s inside of him cause he’s afraid of what he’ll find. BUT HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HE’LL FIND SO BAD!!!

[zykamiliah]

the many ways shen qingqiu loves luo binghe

this was more or less inspired by this post, but because this is gonna be a personal opinion and i don't want to make a thread of it and inadvertently contest with the other two's points, I'm going to make my own post.

so i wanna start saying that "the moment one falls in love" is a trope that's waaaay too overstated. in my opinion. specially because falling in love tends to be something that has to do with romantic love most of the time, and it pretends to establish a sort of timeline, a point of no return, for ships and fictional relationships.

when the stories surrounding the characters are more straightforward, i don't really mind, since it makes sense for there to be an "Oh" moment when the character realizes they are in love. like, we know the moment lbh started to see sqq in a sexual light, and we can roughly add to this that the events of the demon invasion and the nightmare scenario are what sealed the deal for lbh. it helps that he's more honest about his feelings and the sexual awakening had already happened, and we can easily assume that from that point on lbh's feelings have a romantic-sexual side.

it still has other sides... because lbh loves sqq as a shizun, as a parent, and this side of their relationship, the master-disciple and parent-child side, is intrinsic to their dynamic; it's a conflicting element during their prolonged conflict for most of the novel, but at the same time, it's their default when they want to approach each other, it's the "safe zone".

but when it comes to sqq I think it's a much more difficult thing to ask: when does sqq falls in love? when is his Oh moment? Is there one, a conscious realization that he's in love? Can his relationship with lbh be described as "being in love"?

he loved Luo Binghe The Character

—the way a reader loves a favorite character, and fanboyed about him plenty before and after transmigrating. the shadow of what the little sheep he was raising would became was ever-present throughout those first 6 years before their meeting in Jinlan City.

but he loved lbh the character in a fanatical way that wasn't actually real... it was meaningful to him because he liked this fictional character a lot, but it's a safe love from the side of a screen.

he was compelled by lbh the character, by his tragic backstory full of angst, and by the ways lbh the character did things: he "rightfully" took his anger out in the people who'd hurt him and paid back for it tenfold. in a way, sy as a reader was also projecting himself in lbh the character.

in short, he loved the Idea of luo binghe, but not luo binghe as a real person.

he loved Luo Binghe the White Lotus Disciple

—and he loved him like a parent loves a child. yet, as I mentioned, he always kept in mind that this boy would grew up to be a very attractive and sexual man, and thus sqq expected him to have romantic encounters with girls around his age.

i know some people shy away from talking about this because everyone is paranoid about your favorite character being called a pedophile etc etc, but really, sy could be nothing farther from that, and whoever who says that has a very, hmm, wide definition of the word and it's probably just using the buzzword to hate on the character.

the important thing is that, despite sqq being aware that lbh is a potential sexual being and will become very sexually active in the future, he does not in any way sexualize his and lbh's relationship. Like I said, sqq would never abuse his power in that way, and he'd never get it on with someone he sees as a child, his disciple. that lbh is very much viewing their relationship with romantic and sexual lenses is a complete shock for him because of this, along with other reasons and assumptions (that lbh was straight)

the problem here is, precisely, that he treated lbh like a child once, and would go on treating him as a child later, post-holy mausoleum: disregarding lbh's agency, making decisions for him and without asking what lbh wants, since as the parent he obviously Knows Better, and taking responsibility for lbh's "bad behavior". the endless abyss was a decision he made without consulting lbh. he self-detonated because he thought that would be best for everyone, and he intended for his death to (among other things like saving the city and escaping prison) "make up" for his mistakes. in maigu ridge, he almost kills himself again because he thought that would be better for lbh.

he's self-sacrificing, protective, caring, and overall parental/maternal towards lbh, which has it's good and bad sides. for a long time, he loves lbh like a parent loves a child, and though this side of his love for lbh is not lost in the extras, it's lesser in the sense that the power imbalance is nullified, and the parent-child, shizun-disciple side of their relationship turns more into a comforting, safe roleplay that allows them to access intimacy and express their feelings (that infamous "if i was your mother" speech) than the entirety of their relationship.

and the thing is, he always loved and will always love lbh as a parent loves a child. and i think people uncomfortable with this fact have to get around to accepting that lol

he is subconsciously attracted to luo binghe (bingmei) the Man

we all know this part. sqq's descriptions of lbh's beauty are numerous and far too difficult to quote them all, but one that really stands out to me, because it proves the point, is this one:

[Shen Qingqiu] asked, “The important person you’re talking about, was it…a good-looking young man?” When he thought about it, he decided against suppressing his conscience and clarified. “Not just good-looking, he’s very good-looking, especially good-looking. Fair skin, pretty face, tall. He doesn’t smile often, but when he does, it’s exceptionally dark.” chapter 9: borderlands

if he was unaffected by lbh's attractiveness, he wouldn't need to "suppress his conscience" about it. also this description is just... describing lbh's smile from his own pov? a personal feeling? to a stranger? he has it bad.

he's repressing his own feelings, so it's difficult to point to a specific moment as the moment he realizes he's attracted to lbh... because he never has a conscious realization, and he's in constant denial about it. all the way through to the last bingqiu extra, the wedding extra, he'll continue using the same narrative: the Protagonist is Beautiful and Irresistible, so what can sqq do but surrender to him? It's inevitable, really. (hahahaha he can't help but love and be attracted to lbh. it says more about him that he could ever verbalize)

so yeah, sqq really has the hots for lbh the man. but he'll NEVER admit it, he'll never had an Oh moment. Not even when he unconsciously called lbh "husband".

i want to make a clarification: for a character like sqq, who care about his pride and dignity way too much and has internalized homophobia and sexism to the detriment of his own peace of mind and fulfillment, admitting that he enjoys sex is way too shameful. he's never doing it. he mentions being "drunk with lust" in the showdown extra; in the deep dream extra he gets enthusiastic and proactive, initiating sex with lbh himself very smoothly; in the RoC,SoBQ extra he initially asks to do it doggy style and then changes his tune and wants to see lbh's face, DESPITE being embarrassed about it, and his desire is described as wanting the spot inside him to be rammed. all of this are subtle hints of how he really feels about sex, despite his inner struggles with his pride as a man.

another clarification: the way smut is written in western space is not the same as the way is written in chinese novels. for example, some chinese slang put the the top as the one "attacking", as if sex is a sort of fight. there's always this implication that the shou surrenders to the gong. there's a clear distinction of who tops and who bottoms and the roles of husband and wife made by this distinction; pleasure is described differently: phrases like "scalp going numb", "getting goosebumps" are not particular to svsss alone; the way the bodies engaged in the sex act are described, etc. (it IS a different language with a different culture) so it's normal that most of us come out of the extras thinking the smut is not enjoyable for readers or the characters themselves. what is the difference between the mdzs extras and the svsss extras? that wwx, being characterized as a "shameless" person, is very vocal about how he feels during sex. he has no shame around sex, unlike sqq, who is in the opposite side of the shame spectrum.

sqq is still struggling with that part of himself, and personally I think it's very understandable that even until the end of volume 4 he still has a difficult time with it; it's not easy shedding the believes one grows up with.

which bring me to,

he loves luo binghe the Man, "romantically"

—and it's a love that conflates his parental love, his attraction, too, but that starts to develop mostly post-holy mausoleum: it's when the hand-holding starts, somehow, though it develops fulling throughout the extras, when they finally become romantic partners and explore sex together. mxtx traces an arc that starts with the showdown extra, goes through the deep dream extra that has sqq telling lbh that "Tonight I feel like... I live you a great deal" and ends in the wedding extra with sqq calling lbh "husband" unprompted; despite previously agonizing about his loss of face and dignity and the humiliation of it, his actions speak louder than his words and inner thoughts. because of this, functionally, sqq can be read as a tsundere.

but aside from the sex, sqq enjoys domesticity and spending time with lbh; he likes teasing him, conversing with him and going out with him to see the world. post-main novel they're equals in their relationship and treat each other with respect and consideration, even if their shizun-disciple roleplay prevails. by romance definitions, I believe they mostly fit them, even if their relationship is unconventional.

as for when sqq fell in love with lbh? i still don't have a clear answer. he's always loved him; this love evolves through time, bringing him and lbh closer together. personally, i don't think it's not important. sqq loves lbh, and that's what matters.

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[pinkanonwrites]

HI same anon from last night I’ve been going absolutely bonkers over you rambling about Bee since you posted it. I love that guy… 😭. If you want more specific (and this is only if you wanna!) do you wanna expand on maybe g1, animated or earthspark? how they’d be in a relationship, maybe? it’s totally up to you. i’m just excited to be fed good content about my favorite guy 🙏

Yes yes yes of course! I covered what Earthspark Bee would be like if he had a crush in the last ask, so I'll gladly go over what these Bees would be like in a relationship!

G1 Bumblebee

Of these three, I think G1 Bee is the shyest, even when the two of you are already in a relationship. The puppy love doesn't wear off when you start dating with him. If he had it his way he'd trail behind you wherever you went, dopey and lovesick and unbelievably fond.

He's incredibly gentle with you, never picking you up without asking first, always checking in on you to make sure you're comfortable when he takes you for a drive. He's also a much more careful driver than the other two versions of Bee when you're riding with him. As much as he loves to feel the wind between his plates and tear up the road, he's a lot more hesitant to do so when you're his ride-along.

He loves the human cliche of getting your partner flowers, and he especially loves the way your whole face lights up when he presents them to you, even if he just spent an hour delicately picking them out of the nearby woods. He'd be a complete, flustered mess if you ever returned the favor or, better yet, went out of your way to court him in a way more familiar to Cybertronians. Bring him a cool rock or pretty gemstone you found at a hobby shop and he'll fall to pieces right there in front of you.

Whether you're a alone or in public, he absolutely melts under any affection from you. Even a kiss on the cheek can turn his processor to a staticky mess. He's so whipped for you and he absolutely loves it.

Animated Bumblebee

Even in a relationship, he still loves to tease and play with you. Teasing is your shared love language, he shows his affection best when you're calling him a giant dork and he's responding 'Yeah, but you love this giant dork!' The only times he gets really soft and embarrassed are when you genuinely compliment him or tell him how much you love him without some silly goof to cushion the blow. You can practically see his whole faceplate glowing with the force of his blush.

Anything fun is doubly fun when he's doing it with you. Listening to music, ripping around downtown Detroit, or even just vegging out on the couch playing video games. Having you there makes everything ten times better. Even things that you enjoy that he isn't as fond of are better with you. He'll gladly watch a documentary or go stargazing if it makes you happy. Besides, you can still bounce jokes off of each other, so he'll enjoy it no matter what.

He's such a showoff about you it's adorable. He brags about you whenever the chance comes up, and NOBODY gets away with talking smack about you if he's around. Especially other bots that don't like organics, that's when he gets to his most protective.

He's not always the best at reading the room, so you need to be pretty up front with him if he ever says or does anything that genuinely upsets you. After all, teasing isn't very fun if it's something that you're genuinely self-conscious about. And he knows you'd never tease him for stuff like his height, so all you have to do is point out the lines that you don't want crossed, and he'll never let himself or anyone else cross them.

Earthspark Bumblebee

Like Animated Bee, Earthspark be loves loves loves to go racing with you. But he's also painfully aware of how much more fragile humans are than Cybertronians, so he saves it for routes he knows like the back of his hand, or racetracks where there's absolutely no chance of you getting hurt. It makes his spark sing whenever you cheer around a tight turn, warm hands gripping his steering wheel like you never want to let go.

He's not a bragger by any definition of the word, but the people around him that know him well can tell just how proud he is of you. He gets this incredibly fond, dreamy look on his face whenever he sees you teaching the Terrans something new, like it's taking everything in him not to scoop you up and smooch you right then and there.

He's okay with casual displays of affection, hugs and chaste kisses and carrying you around in his arms or on his shoulder. But he does get pretty embarrassed if he ever gets caught in a more affectionate position with you. He can handle the teasing from the Maltobots just fine, but Primus forbid Optimus or Megatron start ribbing him for how cuddly he likes to be with you when no one else is around.

Speaking of cuddly, I think ES Bee is the MOST touchstarved out of these three. He's incredibly tactile and if he could he'd literally always be touching you, but he's been on his own for so long that he doesn't really know how to voice when he needs that kind of casual physical affection. He loves to cuddle but almost never brings it up. After all, a soft, gentle human like yourself can't possibly get as much out of cuddling a angular slab of metal as he gets out of cuddling you. Please cuddle the man, he needs it so bad.

[pinkeoni]

This moment keeps me up at night—

because it doesn’t align with what we’re being told the entire season.

The point that they tell us explicitly in the dialogue in season one is that Joyce was right about everything.

She wasn’t hallucinating, she wasn’t out of her mind, she was right.

So then, if Joyce was right about everything, if she wasn’t just hallucinating Will in a bout of hysteria, why then choose to show us a clear example where she is hallucinating Will?

Unless she wasn’t.

I will admit that there is a chance that this is just a dream or a hallucination. Joyce is very sleep deprived and was just told that her son had died. I wouldn’t put it past her to have dream visions of her newly dead son. The scene is also presented as if this is the case, with Joyce shown sleeping before seeing Will and then sharply waking up after the fact.

So okay, case closed, maybe it’s looking like this really is just a dream situation after all 😂 but I wanna just entertain the harmless idea that maybe the audience is being mislead with the dream allegations.

So the scene above actually happens right after we get the first confirmation that Will is still alive, when El is able to find him singing over the radio.

So we learn that Will is still alive at the top of the episode, the title sequence plays, and then we get a scene where Will appears right in front of Joyce. The sequence of events should be enough to at least raise an eyebrow.

At the end of the episode, Joyce recieves the verification for herself when Will is able to make contact with her. I want to point out that Will is able to do so while screaming for his mom, exactly the same thing that “dream” Will was doing.

So what do I think? That Will was actually physically in the Rightside Up? That he some how got through and then decided to go back in?

Well, no, not exactly, but he could have been doing some form of shadow walking— or his consciousness travelling to the other plane.

Of course since I’m a Will has powers truther I think that his powers are at play here. Shadow walking is brought up by Dustin in the subsequent episode—

And we see this very type of thing in season two with Will’s true sight.

Was Will just seeing into the Upside Down? Or was there a projection of himself that was physically in the UD? I’m going to say in the latter option, considering that the Mind Flayer was able to physically enter Will’s body during one of these true sight episodes.

Bringing it back to the scene at the very beginning of the post, I’d like to propose that this is what Will was doing, using his powers to shadow walk into the RU from the UD.

I don’t think Will waa be aware that he was using his powers. He was thrown into a high stakes situation, scared, and desperately wanted to get back to his mom and his powers were running amuck without him consciously knowing. This instance of him shadow walking to reach his mom is similar to what happens with the lights, his powers are activating as a way to reach his mom. It’s also implicated through dialogue that the thing with the lights is because of Will.

It would make total sense for his powers to activate in this way, even if he wasn’t conscious it was powers, based on how we know powers work in the show. It’s when El remembers the strong love that her mother feels for her that she is able to unlock her ability to open gates, a unique power that El herself probably didn’t even know she had.

So all of this being said, while made to be believable that Joyce was just dreaming, there’s still enough evidence to suggest that this image of Will was a manifestation of his powers.

Think about it this way, if you wanted Will having powers to be a twist, then you would want to write it in a way where the hints are all there, but there’s enough room to believe that the opposite is also true, so you aren’t playing all of your cards all at once. If Joyce was undoubtedly awake and seeing a vision of Will, that would be way too obvious right off the bat.

[norikuna]

hey mamas 🙇‍♀️ for the “get to know your fic writer” — 3 , 4 , 6 , 11 (cause i need YOU to put me on YOUR fics 🤭) , 13 , 16 (cause im nosy….) , 21 , 23 & 24 (help a hg out), 25 (so i can glaze you), 32 , 39 , 59 , 60 , 64 , 65 (!!!)

okay i’ll get out of here now…

HEYY 🤩 ...i got this notif earlier and saw the no. of questions and decided to eat dinner first bc i needed to be SEATED and with my laptop out ❤️ you came to the right place bc im president and mayor of yap city

— 3. describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

i have like a little template in my drafts with my basic layout (like title, prologue, warnings, pairing etc and so on) and i just keep it to copy and paste for a new fic. and underneath the header and info section, i just outline messy dot points. and each dot point gets turned into a few paragraphs or a scene. and i always have some typa thesaurus open 😭

— 4. where do you find inspiration for ideas

oouh!! mostly song titles i think, i always use them as a jumping point. or actually i really love pinterest, and web-weaving type of posts when it comes to themes i wanna explore (mostly in sfw fics, as opposed to like short smut) 😁

— 6. do you have your work beta'd / how is this important to your process?

nope 😭 my drafts are always super messy and all over the place and im always a little self conscious esp since i jump between ideas and dialogue. BUT i am always yapping in peoples dms and talking abt ideas anyway or getting dialogue checked for clarity...

— 11. link your three favourite fics rn

omg! rent-a-dilf by @screampied i found it sooo charming and effortlessly engaging and also super fun even tho i've never played the sims.

i forgot to like this and add it to my queue so i took an hour to find this particular one, but what you know by @starmapz sukuna and reader are so well characterised and incredibly written! i also loved little yuuji and choso's cameos :(

and they were roommates by @sugoroo i loved it so bad, so EXCELLENT and the tension and smut had me on the edge of my seat. choso's made me laugh 😭

— 13. whats a common writing tip you always follow?

honestly it feels like a cop-out answer but i always try to remember 'unlearn shame' in my head. like when im writing, like for no reason, i get a bit embarrassed or self aware or im overthinking a sentence?? i just have to remember that it is just never that deep....😭

however, a better answer i think would be that for 99% of my fics (so excluding very short fluff, or straight up jackhammering smut) i always always do worldbuilding first. my favourite authors are j.r.r tolkien and george rr martin so middle earth/westerosi levels of high fantasy are massive inspirations when it comes to the grand scheme of creating a world for my characters to interact in.

also i rlly love mythology, folktales and medieval history so they always play a role in how i write or treat common themes. i think its super interesting and poignant at how some stories survive thousands of years and resonate across different cultures, and they remain classics for a reason <333 if that makes sense

like okay say! even in fics that aren't a part of some royal/fantasy/myth au right, like idk say im writing about gojo dying (rip king 😰) its obviously set within the jjk world in 2018, but i would try to see how the following works express the same theme of grief, battle, leaving a loved one behind:

the death of sigurd in the volsunga saga in norse myths

patroclus and achilles in the illiad

a medieval french epic called the song of roland, where roland's death is felt so strongly by his fiancee that she dies

tristan and isolde (tristan being mortally wounded n knowing that he will leave isolde behind, and she succumbs to grief)

the japanese folklore tale of the warrior tomoe gozen, and how she mourns her lord and lover

— 16. how many fic ideas are u nurturing? share one of them!

29! at the moment 😭 and watch me genuinely write like...2... but one of them that i havent even drafted much out yet, towards the end of the list is like geto x reader long fic (prob will have smut bc 😇) but its gonna be an alternative universe where reader is considered a saint/icon/mouthpiece of the gods and he's been marked for death (a warrior? or smth idk)

— 21. would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

i've never done it before but ofc! is this the start of user curtins and user creamflix collab.....

— 23. best writing advice for other writers?

sometimes u have to make sure you're sitting on your own and reading that dialogue out loud, or mouthing it. i'm writing shit and then speaking it afterwards. and i cant even stand to hear it bc no way would anyone ever say that.

— 24. worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

you can't start a sentence with 'and' like wtf okay....who said that. english is made up, all words are made up no one gaf if its not proper english, im allowed to do desi repatriations like this ig

— 25. what fic do you wish you got more of a response one?

hmm honestly, i did have an answer for this at first like 'oh yeah this one xyz i wish it got more notes' but that being said i feel like there's none that i feel truly flopped on par with how im improving writing and getting more comfortable. but! if i had to choose: goo goo muck #1 with the minotaur au because i rlly put some thought into how i could incorporate sukuna, yuji, and yuji's execution with the myth of the beast trapped in the maze.

and ditto! i think its my longest fic so far 😭 and it took me so long to plan out a timeline from childhood to gojo's death

— 32. name three of your favourite fanfic writers?

it would be poor form and incredibly remiss of me to not say user @creamflix 🤭 i really love how ur dialogue flows, and the way you describe scenes make me feel like i'm really there (a+ for me)

also @tonycries simply because every time i try my hand at smut, it takes me 4 days to think of something new, and i'm always wondering on how to reword shit so i'm not writing the same thing over and over, but they keep it soooo fresh and new with every fic and soooo well written!!

@kurooh i always find their smut fics sooo creative and fun, and their recent double fantasy fic was SAUUUUUR good!

— 39. share a snippet from a wip!

nay! mind you, this isn't even proofread so its still incredibly basic and thesaurus.com has not come out....but i tried a mildly different inspo approach and header. its very backstory and angst based for sukuna regarding his childhood, but sweet at the end i promise :(( IM CRYING. im seeing mistakes in this already, but i needed to give uraume my they/them baddie a cameo later in it

— 59. does anyone in your personal life know that you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

im cryinggggg. def not, unfortunately i can't let this get in the way of the public brand #coolgirl but it would go something like this

— 60. have you had a writer that you admire comment on your fic?

🫡 @madamechrissy who's writing my fave bridgerton fic, with duke!gojo commented on my vacation fic and i really did a giggle and kick in the air 😭

— 64. something you love to see in smut?

hmmmm my favourite thing is like when it isn't just pure smut if that makes sense, like setting, atmosphere, or cute banter is incorporated or clever wordplay. like you can feel the vibe of like where its set idk 😭

— 65. tell us what you're most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project?

i really want to improve and become more confident in different genres, like better smut that flows more without me having to stop and stare at a wall for ten minutes each time, or super cute fluff <333333

[hwnglx]

Did jk and winter ever date?

what do they think of each other? jungkook + winter

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

what does jungkook think of winter?

jungkook thinks winter is a responsible and career-oriented person, who's very hardworking. he sees her as a down to earth girl, who's humble and did not allow fame to get to her head. he respects and applauds her a lot for that. in his eyes, she isn't pretentious, arrogant or full of herself at all. (crazy how opposite his impression is compared to many others who're prejudiced towards her) he thinks she's a very polite girl with good manners and a mature mindset. i can see him thinking she's the type of idol who will go far because of her professionalism.

he also recognizes that winter is a more reserved and careful person who prefers to stay in her own circle. there definitely is a distance here. she might not be an idol who enjoys hanging around other people in the industry too much unless it's for work-related reasons. of course she's very aware of how the public can rip you into shreds, if you come even slightly close to a male idol. i can see that jungkook also senses this reluctance and hesitance that winter has around him, possibly due to her wanting to avoid negative attention.

what does winter think of jungkook?

winter sees jungkook as someone incredibly hardworking, a person who carries a lot of burdens (expectations, fame, etc..) on his shoulders with grace. she respects his ability to still approach it all with a humble attitude.

winter herself is someone very cautious and aware of what she's doing, and the consequences her actions bring. i can sense that exact caution here as well. she honestly just dislikes how much attention a single sighting can gather, so she's wary and doesn't wanna cause more of a riot. (note; this is a pattern i've noticed in many idols, and reason as to why i can see a good portion preferring to not date fellow idols. (especially when they're from the same generation!) they just think it's too big of a deal every time, the fans are always annoying and weird about it. idols like the “espace” dating a non-idol can bring) getting the page of cups is cute though, i do think there might be a little bit of a crush on her side, but nothing serious at all. a lot of it is true admiration for him as an artist and applause for the way he carries himself. there's also just this.. shyness you feel around people you think are cool. i keep hearing “멋있는 선배” which translates to “cool senior”. you can feel kinda small and self-conscious around them. that's what it's giving. can't sense anything that'd point to a deeper connection at all.

in conclusion -> no, they have not dated.

[ewwww-what]

I wanna hear about nara I wanna hear everything you have to say abt nara

I am so extremely excited that you asked because I really do have plenty to say about (universally loved and cherished character that everyone remembers and cares about) Princess Nara.

Let it be known that I am truly at my weakest and most vulnerable when talking about princess Naradriel of Dimension Twenty fame. Take my words with a grain of salt as I may be consistently lying right to your face and not saying anything the way I want to!

I truly deeply love thinking of the JY events through Nara’s perspective. Like, her (very rich, very pretentious, very absent) family is worried about a new organization for a different interpretation of the godess they worship, so they send Nara in to keep an eye on Tracker since they’re the same age and they think she’ll relate to her better. They end up really hitting it off, Nara convinces her parents to fund Wolfsong Revival, and in turn learns things about her religion that she hadn’t known before, truly she is the most aware of her faith that she has ever been thanks to her girlfriend and her followers. Except Tracker won’t really call Nara her girlfriend outright? And also she hasn’t ever really announced their partnership despite having an active social media presence (Tracker eventually does post about her, with permission from her ex, and the conflict is half-resolved from then on.)

Then Nara meets Kristen, and promptly realizes that she is a perfect mirror of her very existence. Nara is the spitting image of her girlfriend’s ex, Kristen totally knows it too. the only real difference between the two of them is that Nara has the funds to make a project the size of Wolfsong possible and Kristen doesn’t, neither of them feel good about this situation at all.

I’m thinking about her constantly, she is in a relationship where the love literally wasn’t meant for her, that’s so sad?? Waiter, more fantasy teenagers in messy relationships please!!

——

Kristen Applebees foil intermission

Honestly I think Kristen Applebees might have more foils in junior year than anyone else throughout the entire show and I do truly enjoy that very much.

There’s the very obvious and intended Buddy dawn, who was created to be her foil and also an antagonist in her story. He reminds her very much of her younger and more sheltered self, as well as the person she might have become if she hadn’t died in the cafeteria that day.

Nara is kind of a funny contrast to him, because Kristen’s dislike for Buddy is very much representative of the parts of her past that she isn’t proud of, and he is significantly easier for her to criticize because she’s already come to terms with those things within herself. Nara, however, is everything that Kristen doesn’t like about herself currently.

A big thing that Kristen is grappling with in this season is her impulsiveness and the way it effects the people around her, and this dialogue specifically is what sparked her realization that her and Nara aren’t dissimilar people. Kristen and Nara’s shared spontaneity isn’t necessarily a conscious choice for either of them, but it is something that they both find frustrating about themself.

I wrote a whole paragraph here but it deleted itself, I’m not rewriting it all. it was just about how for certain people executive disfunction make it difficult to prioritize important tasks, and it can feel frustrating and unfair when things fall through even though other people might find it easy to maintain in a way you don’t. That’s what these two have going on, they both have ADHD (canonically /srs).

I think it’s also important for Kristen at that point in time to have met someone who’s experiencing similar things to her. Especially during a point in her life where everything feels really uncertain, and nobody seems to be really understanding her exact experience, she meets someone who feels the same way she does and is able to lend her sympathy about it. Very nice, very good :)

——

??? I’m just talking about whatever now

I feel itchy every time I have to think about the way Nara is treated like she’s not smart!! Partially because it’s clear that this is a young girl who has been very sheltered all her life, and is finally branching out and attempting to be a better person and educate herself for the benefit of the people around her. She made a very open and self-aware observation about the corrupt system that her family helps uphold, and expressed distaste and willingness to change, which was kind of met with skepticism and weird comments about her intelligence. I like her, whatever. I’m killing everyone!!!

Is she ignorant? Yes, absolutely. Disgustingly rich? Of course. But a reoccurring theme in the few scenes we get to see her in is that she wants to be better and more involved in the lives of other people (close enough, welcome back season one Kristen Applebees and season two Fabian Seacaster)

(That’s not to say that you can’t dislike her for these traits, just me complaining about how she was treated narratively once she served her purpose in the story. girl is bad forever and cannot possibly become a better person. Unfortunate reoccurring theme (I love this show, take all of this with a grain of sugar.))

I don’t have anything huge to say about it, I’m sure someone else could make a better and more concise explanation for what I’m trying to get across. Give me 5 hours to write another essay.

-

Also!! Nara has a lisp, I think? It could have been an aspect of her accent that I misinterpreted, but you will not catch me ignoring even the slightest possibility that a character could have a speech impairment that isn’t taken as a joke. This is not important to literally anything I have said this whole time, I just want it out in the world that I’ve collected another character into my (very small) pile of favs who have lisps.

——

JY finale

I didn’t particularly love the JY finale, I feel like it didn’t give closure to a lot of the events of the season that should’ve probably gotten closure. That being said, for a character who played such a small role in the show I don’t think Nara needed much more than what she got. I do enjoy that it can be interpreted as Nara wanting more from tracker than she’s willing to give in their relationship, or that her parents weren’t happy with the actual religious advancements of moonsong, maybe both.

I hear sometimes that Nara was in on the plan to take down moonsong, and that’s the reason that Tracker’s funding was removed, and I don’t disagree that that could’ve been the intention behind the finale but it’s also not my favorite idea. I personally don’t understand how Nara would benefit from advocating for the oracle to get paid a living wage, or begging her dad to fund the operation to revive a primal interpretation of her goddess just to have that taken away. (Political advantage and surveillance, I guess? Two things that high schoolers notoriously love and care about willingly participating in /sar)

You cant have full episodes to tie up the loose ends of minor characters and I do understand that, and I certainly don’t mean for it to seem like I’m upset that she and tracker broke up or even that she probably won’t show up again. I just like her :)

Also here’s Aelwyn and Adaine talking about maybe possibly killing Nara as a little treat to themselves, I was rewatching the episode and I like this part

That’s it I’m done now :)

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

It actually means conscious VS unconscious

And Storer did it again, he was metaphorically saying what he was doing and put it out there, in plain sight.

I already went over this point in several posts actually because it was pretty obvious to me that their only issue was definitely not communication, that was just the visible tip of their iceberg. It was deeper than that because communication is never a cause per se, it's always a consequence of multiple other factors, so I knew it was about the REASON behind it and whether they are aware of that or not, whether they wanna be aware of it or not, whether they are ready for that or not, etc. CC vs UC. So I elaborated on all those topics previously:

What matters is the people

Stuck in the mud

Inside Carmy's mind

Recycle / Repurpose

Purpuse, chef!

Never apologize

The trap

I now realize that I had missed that Storer put it out there, in plain sight in that scene above, which BTW was one of the few semi-Sydcarmy moments we were given this season, or as I call it: ALMS.

Anyway... The point is that Sydney said that what was killing them (she referred to the operation but I refer to the Sydcarmy dynamic, that's the metaphor) was the "bad communication" between FOH and BOH, in other words: between CC/UC or Conscious and Unconscious or subconscious if you will, because info always permeates from one to the other.

So this takes us back to the fact that until they don't consciously realize and put in the front of their minds THE REASON why they are doing all of this, they won't be able to communicate properly and efficiently, and therefore they will not understand each other and what's even worse, they will definitely not find in themselves the strength to carry on and to endure this battle.

Because let's face it, every day in that restaurant, chasing a star is like going to war and it would be anyway even if they were going through a honeymoon phase. Chasing a Michelin star is no easy task for anyone and it always takes its toll on the team, that is why it's so elite. Not everyone can do it. Yet everyone who has done it ends up learning the same lesson: IT CAN'T BE DONE UNLESS YOU HAVE A BIGGER PURPOSE. Some get lost along the way, and the star kills them because they never find a bigger purpose than the star/s itself as I mentioned here.

I trust Sydcarmy will find a way to make conscious of their real purpose which is obviously THEM/EACH OTHER as I mentioned in all those 7 posts above.

They are actually doing this to show how much they love each other. It's their way of showing their affection for each other. It's also how they communicate.

It would be easier to just say so and go out on a date and maybe give each other simple presents like a playlist, flowers, a cologne... but not for them. Nope. They are "special".

For her, it didn't start that way, though. It morphed into it along the way. Originally for Syd that star was some sort of personal victory and vindication after her Sheridan Rd's trauma fiasco. Later on, when she started suspecting that she may have started falling for Carmy, around the time C showed up, she had to shove that suspicion very deep into her UC, meaning, never let it out, DENY IT, because otherwise she was gonna get hurt. She's too smart and too much of an emotionally avoidant G WOMAN for that. She would never let that happen if she could avoid it prevent it.

For Carmy that was the reason from day one two, though. Right after she said that was what she wanted. But as I mentioned here, that was not his goal at first:

But this is where they are now and they should honor it and be honest about it, even get nasty if they must, ARGUE about it if that's what it takes for them to really get it. I'm sure that S4 will be all about it because they have reached the breaking point already → The crying game

Or should I say breakthrough?

Yeah, I will go for breakthrough. S4 is gonna be all about Sydcarmy. Get ready, truthers. There's no way but up from here because S3 was:

The end of Carmen Berzatto.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[ghost-orion]

Hi, sorry to bother you. I’ve read your post talking about Viktor being Czech and how you’re loving people portraying his/your culture in fanfiction.

As a fellow European who has seen my own culture being stereotyped countless times, I’m very self-conscious at the thought of approaching the topic of Viktor’s culture, especially in modern AUs, because I’m afraid I’m going to sound ignorant or offensive.

I know it’s not an easy question and it’s probably kinda weird, but are there any big no-nos people should be aware of when writing a Czech character or any general tips you’d like to share? I know almost nothing of Czech Republic and I fear googling will only help me up to a point. Of course feel free to say no if it’s too much to ask.

Thanks!

Hi, thanks for the question! It's a very broad topic, so without any specifics, I don't know how helpful I can be, really. Googling will take you a long way, honestly, but finding a Czech (or even Slovak maybe? Or other Slavs might be helpful as well, depending on the level of detail you want to go into, I honestly don't know) beta reader would be the most helpful.

When writing Viktor, I would 100% focus on the characterization of himself as he is in the show, not getting bogged down by cultural details. It's much more important to focus on his feelings and tastes than what his heritage might influence. (For example, when writing about food preferences, you can look up what foods he might've eaten as a child in Czechia, but keep in mind that everywhere in the world there are people with all kinds of tastes, picky eating, a sweet tooth, ability to stomach greasy meals etc.) You're also European, so I assume you're also bilingual, so you can call the shots on language use, but keep in mind that Viktor's Czech identity is probably not very strong, as neither is his Zaunite identity in the show - he has an accent, which is involuntary, and is part of what makes him stand out amongst Pilties - same as other things he is ashamed of.

If you don't wanna get into things with regards to the specifics of a Czech identity, you can try focusing on the ways you felt were ignorant in the fics/media about your own culture. Now I don't know where you're from, and I feel like Czechia isn't known well enough to have stereotypes other than general Slavic ones? So maybe this won't be super helpful.

It might be harder to depict depending on the AU. I'm writing a fic that is set in the world of the show, not modern, and when I talk about his cultural background, I think about what are the things that made him be this way. Why does he have an accent, what his family must've been like, his living situation, how was he able to play by himself in a sewer, work for Singed. I think about the intersection of Zaunite and Czech identity, or the clash of it - mostly I think about the fact that his family isn't Zaunite and they're living in Zaun, instead of thinking about specifics. (For example, food is scarce in Zaun in general, so I assume they're not gonna make traditional svíčková, which is a meal that takes two days to make and is meant for feasting - they're probably gonna make do with what they have.) When thinking of things are specifically Czech instead of Zaunite, think language, clothes, food and music. (Though in a modern setting, Czech music is very varied, like music is globally, so eh.)

If your AU has Viktor be specifically from Czechia, then that is different, and I don't exactly know how to help with that, other than finding a beta. (If you're gonna look for peeps on tumblr, the tags that Czechs here use are #česky and #čumblr, good luck. <3)

Less is definitely more when it comes to details, like, me for example, I honestly don't listen to any Czech music, other than the occasional nostalgic listen to a 15 year old song we used to listen to with girls in middle school, you could definitely make up a singer he used to like and throwing a song in his playlist on the bus to school or something. With regards to clothes, I would tie this to maybe memories of his grand-parents, perhaps some old photos his parents would have stashed away.

There are some things that I would specifically include as very grew-up-in-modern-Czechia, definitely coloured by my own experiences - grew up in a panelák, maybe grandparents living in a bum-fuck-ass village, grew up drinking energy drinks, froze his ass off and definitely slipped at least once every winter. He probably started drinking at a young age, unless he has a reason not to do it. (Think abnormally law-abiding family, or specifically avoiding his peers so he doesn't have anyone to drink with, etc. I stopped drinking when I turned 18 because of trauma + not wanting to, and it is very strange and kinda isolating around here.) To me, he's not from a big city, but that's your choice, as the author. Now, I Am Not The Arbiter Of Czechness lmao, and there are people who will disagree with me and maybe have other ideas.

I have personally found a fic that was painfully obviously written by an American (no hate to Americans, it Is probably difficult to write about other cultures when you don't have a frame of reference for them /gen, and I usually give a lot of grace to non-Czechs writing Viktor as Czech), and I couldn't make it past the first chapter. It was obvious that they made zero effort to do any research and they went kind of ham on the Czech cultural differences to America, the setting of that fic. It might've improved in the other chapters, but the impression this intro left me wasn't great. Firstly, they specified that Viktor is from Ostrava; now, I'm from former Sudetenland, which is very industrial and dirty and low-class and yeah, it feels kinda Zaun-esque to me lol, but it felt a Little offensive?? Because like. To me it feels different when a Czech posts an edit of Viktor carrying an Kaufland bag against a png of Ostrava, and when an American picks Ostrava to be a mirror to Zaun? Because Ostrava is a real ass place with real ass issues that affect real ass people lmao? Again, I am not from there, and I am not the arbiter of Czechness lmfao. Then they described the dorm room he was about to live in, and it's the blandest white dorm room ever, but they said that "it was nothing like his bedroom back in Ostrava" and then didn't elaborate, which is. What do you think dorm rooms look like in Ostrava lmao. (A funny detail I noticed but I'm cool with is that they said that the room was sooo different while being completely normal, but they didn't mention the very specifically American paper-thin plaster walls. Lol.) Now, sure, that would be fine, if there were no other details, but then Jayce in this fic is Hispanic American, and it's very clear how this is a culture they are much more familiar with. Which again, I'd be cool with. The thing is, in this chapter, Jayce gives Viktor a churro to try, and Viktor is super surprised and likes his first ever churro a lot. Thing with that is. Everyone in the modern world knows what a churro is. And, a churro is just fried dough dipped in cinnamon sugar, and yes, it is good, but we have those lol. Like literally, through americanization, there are places that sell churros, but also our most famous desert is a trdelník, which is a tube of baked dough dipped in cinnamon sugar, famous to the point where you look up "Czech dessert" and trdelníky are the first thing that comes up. It's just... I dunno. I could talk about this fic forever lmao it just pissed me off, but like, that's I guess what I would try to avoid - if your modern AU is set in America/Piltover that is America-adjacent, I would either have Viktor already acquainted with a lot of the culture through the internet or general americanization (you have the advantage of being European, so you know what that's like), and if he's trying/seeing/experiencing something new, have him compare it to what he's already familiar with.

I hope all this makes sense, and wasn't too rambly - if you have any other questions, I would love to answer them! <3

[tomwambsgans]

hi i'm new to succession and i love your blog and your meta. sorry if you've already talked about it but i'd like to know your opinion on this, since it seems the fandom is kind of split on their headcanons. do you think tom or greg knew they were gay before getting wrapped up with each other? if so, do you think either had committed relationships with men before meeting each other?

hi thank you! idk if you've gone through my #gay tom tag but i have a lot on tom's closetedness/repression in there, and i need to go through my greg posts and put the #gay greg tag on more of them but i've got that too. in any case i'll still summarize here:

firstly, i wanna say i sincerely do not think almost any gay person gets to adulthood while having had no idea. repression is like pushing information to a part of your brain that you don't access, not destroying that information altogether. tom is in his 40s and greg is like 30, so, yeah, they know. it's just about different levels of knowing.

basically i think that for both of them there's a wall between them and their awareness of their homosexuality, but greg's isn't nearly as strong for many reasons including that imo he's definitely actually had some gay experience. i've waffled a lot on exactly how much, but i would say greg has likely had many of them while stoned, which is the sort of thing that would be likely to give him not only the confidence but also the "excuse." idk if i think that greg has ever actually had a boyfriend, but i also can't definitively say he hasn't. i do think that if he did, it didn't end well. really with greg in particular i get big vibes that he's had gay experience that "proved" to him that being gay was bad and/or that men weren't safe partners - something like his first gay kiss being with a guy who also beat him up after the fact, or an attempted date at a gay bar winding up mugging him. and i do think that he hooked up in some way with andrew dodds while they smoked weed together too, so. him winding up dying the next night feels right along those lines. i think he goes back and forth on whether he's too ashamed of being gay to be conscious of the fact really fast.

tom, meanwhile, i pretty firmly say no, he has not had the kind of awareness required to actually enter a gay relationship. though i do think he's probably come very close to understanding/accepting himself at different points in his life, because repression isn't a straight line. it comes in waves. i think a very young tom probably showed some very obvious signs of crushes on other boys (this is one of my favorite hcs about it), including bullying the ones that he liked. and i imagine him liking basically every boy he knew at least a little. and then a highschool or college-aged tom having certain moments of clarity where he outright thinks "oh fuck. i'm gay" but then going right back to ignoring it. or at least letting that knowledge remain at a low simmer while he's too afraid to do anything about it. along those lines i also think he's had periods where he did technically accept it but not in the form of "i like men," but rather "i don't like women" and just ignoring the implication of the former. like, using his career as an excuse to not pursue anyone. the closest thing to gay experience i feel like tom might have had is being kissed on the cheek by a male friend (and subconsciously trying to engineer that situation again), flirting where he was able to not think about the fact that he was flirting, and some amounts of cruising that led nowhere. like, i truly believe that if tom had had gay sex for real before now, or even just made out with a guy, he would not be the way he is, lmao. bro has never experienced true happiness in his life before greg started to tug him out of the closet

[transmascwillbyers]

I don't know if someone has said this before, or if it even needs to be said, but I feel like there's something so interesting about the contrast between how Will and Mike deal with (i.e., bottle up) their feelings for each other.

For example, Will suppresses his emotions quite a lot, even the ones that aren't related to Mike. It's shown throughout the show that he has a tendency to just go along with what he thinks will make others happy at the expense of his own feelings- in fact, one of his very first scenes, when his character is still being established, is Jonathan pretty much just saying that he's been trying to force himself to like baseball, traditionally masculine things, etc., instead of art so he can impress his dad and prevent even more fighting in his family. Something something baseball is a metaphor for heterosexuality something something.

But it's also worth noting that Will's almost always conscious of the fact that he's hiding how he actually feels from people. It never seems like he's unaware of the fact that he's withdrawing- plus, he usually isn't able to keep it up for long, and eventually, all the emotions he's suppressing just coming flooding out (think of the rain fight in s3, or on a smaller scale, him crying at the end of the van scene). Will definitely hides aspects of himself from other people, but it's very hard for him to keep it up, and sooner or later, the facade ends up cracking.

But Mike is the opposite of this. Mike represses his emotions- he pushes down his real feelings as a coping mechanism, a survival strategy, and due to everything he's been through he's reached a point where it's part of his nature. He's no longer conscious of all the parts of himself he's trying to hide from other people, because he's been doing it for so long, actually being himself would feel less natural than repressing.

I honestly think this is part of the reason why the GA is less aware of Mike's arc than Will's. Since Mike represses so much, we don't really get as many shots from his POV, or as many glimpses into his mind- because Mike himself isn't even fully aware of everything that's going on in his head, and the Duffers don't want to explicitly let the audience in on something the character doesn't realize himself. So, we need to sort out the pieces for ourselves- and hopefully, anyone who's paying a reasonable amount of attention to the show and isn't blinded by heteronormativity can do that- but we still don't get the same direct focus on Mike's emotions that we do with Will's. There's no lingering shots of Mike staring at Will (although he does do that lol- it's just not usually as focused on by the camera), and because Mike's mask is so superglued on, he has less moments of him breaking down- and even when he does break down, it's less likely to be directly about the thing that causing him pain, and more likely to be him projecting his emotions onto another, more obvious target (think his fight with Hopper in the s2 finale). Overall, it might seem like Mike isn't as big of a voice in the show as he used to be- but that's not because he isn't an important character, it's because there's only so much of Mike's character that the Duffers can hint about before they give away aspects of his arc that are meant to be subtle and fly under the radar for some people (like Mike himself).

So, where does that leave us? Well, to sum everything up, Will and Mike both bottle up their feelings- the difference is, Will consciously suppresses his, whereas Mike unconsciously represses his, which makes his less obvious to the audience as a sort of side effect. What's interesting is that Mike's repression and Will's suppression both peak in s4- Will encourages Mike to mend his relationship with El, resigning himself to continue his cycle of suppression for the rest of his life, and we see the least of Mike that we have throughout the whole show (plus we got the love confession but i don't wanna talk about the love confession aaaaaahhhhh no). Hmm, let's see, what else happened in s4?

Max is in a coma

Vecna won

Hawkins is generally in shambles

Spores are raining from the sky

Nobody's having a good time. At all.

So, uh, yeah, I think it's pretty safe to assume that s4 was the lowest point of everybody's arcs. So what does that mean for Will and Mike? Well, if Will stops suppressing his emotions in s5, it'll make him more outgoing, more honest, and more of an active player in the party's dynamics, as well as a less subtle character for the audience to interpret. Which sure does sound a lot like the Will Byers Main Character Era. Huh. And if Mike stops repressing his emotions in s5... if my predictions are correct, we'll finally get a direct focus on his feelings and perspective, even more than s1 originally revealed. Huh, funny. That sure does sound a lot like Byler Endgame.

...See you in 2024, Duffers.

[maygrcnt]

Hey, sorry to come into your inbox like this I just saw something regarding buck and his dating life and I wanted to talk to you about it as I feel like you have pretty (neutral?) view point on his relationships overall. Essentially, the OP was saying how Buck isn’t off his “hamster wheel” in terms of getting into relationships, everyone’s just saying that he is “off the hamster wheel” just because he’s with a guy when this relationship with Tommy is no different than his past relationships with women. (Basically saying people are misogynistic when they say Tommy is a better LI than some of his others). They go on to give these three reasons in to show how that he isn’t off his hamster wheel: “he spent an entire episode acting like an insane person and had no idea of what or who he wanted until tommy kissed him. he had no intention of reaching out to tommy again until eddie literally had to tell him to (twice!). and he's already jumped in head-first by inviting tommy to maddie and chim's wedding before they've even had a single successful date.” Now! Listen. does this fandom have a misogyny issue? yes, especially with buck and eddie’s LI and maybe some people favor Tommy bc of their misogyny but I wouldn’t argue that suggesting Tommy is a better LI than most is inherently misogynistic or at all. Now that that’s out of the way, I find the OP’s reasoning incredibly flawed and reductive - and frankly, dismissive of Buck’s agency and thinking. The “he spent an entire episode acting like an insane person who had no idea what…” This to me is just a wild take because the whole premise of buck acting that way was to show his self discovery? Buck wasn’t consciously aware about this part of himself until the very end of the episode where everything fell into place. The whole point was that he couldn’t explain his feelings or even understand what they truly were. Do I agree with every writing decision in that episode? No I wish they had Buck apologise to Eddie on screen but I think comparing the way Buck was acting in that episode to how he’s been in the past when getting a girl is so different. Next, the “he had no intention to reach out to tommy until Eddie said something.” Um? What? it’s like they missed the part where he said he can’t stop thinking about him but feels like he made an idiot of himself? And again. Are they forgetting that this is all very new for him? Tommy told Buck that he doesn’t think Buck’s ready and I do believe a part of Buck felt that way. It’s not an easy thing to navigate and sometimes you need the encouragement. Idk it feels weird to me personally because they’re acting like Buck lacks any and all agency and had no part in the decision. Even if Eddie said to reach out doesn’t mean Buck had to or 100% would’ve. It was a conscious decision on his part. There’s also different layers to reaching out to Tommy vs reaching out a girl because he was in the midst of discovering this part of his identity. The last point they made is possibly the most logical one and everyone can agree to disagree on the quickness and seriousness of taking someone you recently met as a date to a wedding (at the end of the day, it’s a show!) but overall, I wanna say that Tommy being a guy does absolutely make this situation different. Buck has never been with a man and although his bisexuality has always been a part of him, it’s only something he started to navigate recently. Something he became aware of recently so of course he’s not going to have every single thing figured out. I’m personally neutral on buckyommy as I feel we have to see more of them to really form my opinion but to act like the set up for them is putting buck back on a hamster wheel is just something I do not agree with especially not with the reasons the poster gave. Sorry for giving you so much to read but would love to hear your take on this

okay first of all thanks for putting this in my inbox i think it’s a really interesting discussion. i wanna preface by saying thanks for feeling like im a neutral voice, i feel like im very open and honest that i am not a multishipper and buddie is my ride or die, but i genuinely love general discussion and conversation about the show regardless so i rly hope i never come across as like unwilling to consider things that go against my own personal wants. i want to try my best to give my thoughts here coming from bucks character only and not let buddie thoughts influence it but sorry if i slip there lol

second of all if op of the post mentioned here sees this pls know that this isn’t a personal attack i just like the points that are brought up and i want to give my own take on them! putting under a cut because it got … long

so in terms of the hamster wheel, i think it’s quite disingenuous to the character to say that this relationship is another rinse and repeat. i know as much as we want to claim that being with a same sex partner is no different or has the same implications as buck being with women, it just doesn’t. that’s the simple truth, the fact that he’s trying something new with a man is different and every factor that would normally be considered a part of the evan buckley hamster wheel is now being seen in an entirely different lens because of the factor that it’s a man. his entire world is truly different now, and that’s not to say a queer relationship always has to change someone’s life but it did for evan buckley and this is evident by oliver saying in the zach sang interview that this storyline has quite literally been the endpoint to the six season long arc of buck trying to find what was missing from his life. like it’s a big deal and we don’t have to pretend it’s not.

when it comes to the jealousy, it’s true that this isn’t unlike buck (201, 304, and 408 come to mind as examples of buck doing this in platonic, work, and then romantic way respectively) i don’t think it’s something characteristic of why his relationships don’t work. this is something that is a character trait of buck that we’re finally getting into working on and reasoning with through the relationship with tommy but i truly do t think it’s something that has been the reason his past romances don’t work. abby left because abby is abby, ali set a boundary for her own mental health, natalia was barely there. the only thing i would consider to be bucks irrational jealousy leading to the downfall of his relationship is him kissing lucy but even then there was a lot more going on (cough eddie leaving the 118 but i promised i wouldn’t go buddie mode).

it’s genuinely hard for me to neutrally explain why i think buck didn’t reach out to tommy before eddie told him to but, i think it comes down to the fact that when tommy told him he “wasn’t ready” it very much scooped at an insecure part of buck that believed he was too much for people and buck needed reassurance from someone who’s opinion he really valued to let him know that hey you’re not too much you just have to let people get to know you, and eddie pushed him to be willing to let tommy get to know him.

and then in terms of jumping into things too quickly… i don’t even consider that to be a part of the evan buckley hamster wheel if im so honest. i dont even like to consider abby as part of the hamster wheel discussion because if we’re honest that relationship, from a storytelling perspective was more used to characterize abby than it was buck (bucks storyline is more about the absense of abby after she leavesthan the presence of her during the relationship). ali helped him buy a place but they had been seeing each other for ~six months at that point (i think because most current fans binged season two they forget there was a genuinely large gap between their first date and the loft), and she wasn’t even actually moving in lol, that’s so reasonable to me. with taylor the asking her to move in was crazy and awful of him but NOT because of the timing. at this point they’d had an on again off again thing going for YEARS. it was bad because of the reason. brother was pretending to love her and then kissed another woman and was still gonna let her move in. THAT is why that storyline was shit, not cus of the timing.

PLUS it’s not weird to ask someone to a wedding as a second date. ESPECIALLY not when your date is already friends with half the fucking guests lmao. like i feel like maybe im weird but this specific talking point doesn’t make sense to me. it’s a big deal because buck is essentially coming out to everyone in his world, that’s why it’s big, not because it’s “too fast” for a relationship.

overall, i think this is the exact opposite of the hamster wheel. Buck is putting himself in an uncomfortable situation and seeking out something that makes him feel GOOD, seeking a person who understands who and what he is rather than someone who has to learn to live with his life. a lot of people say that tommy is there to make buck “ready” to date eddie, and while i find this problematic in a few ways when it comes to the sexuality aspect of it, i don’t think it’s entirely untrue from an emotional perspective. if this thing with tommy doesn’t end well, then at least buck now knows he deserves someone who can love him wholly and will have a better understanding of what love looks like for him (regardless of if he see that with eddie or not)

i hope this was interesting and what you were wanting to read anon, thanks for the interesting discussion <3

[aranarumei]

NEW HIRANO TO KAGIURA CHAPTER!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! there’s No Way I can be Cool Or Coherent about this so my thoughts shall be relegated beneath the cut

gah the small tashiro and maybe shirahama in the stairwell with hirano. that brings me such joy for some reason. but anyways anyways the Big Points

hirano is like. okay I Can’t like him back, because my heart doesn’t race. even tho again and again we keep seeing like. he’s always surprised when those ten seconds are done… because he likes staying that way. properly.

anyways bringing miyano in for a scene reiterates one of the points that is like, my FAVORITE thing about hirano to kagiura and like. sasaki to miyano in general actually. that being that miyano talks super excitedly about his bl and how your hearts supposed to race and stuff and that absolutely doesn’t match up with hiranos own personal experiences? which is why he rejects the feeling that what he feels for kagiura is anything romantic. but the miyano that is telling hirano this literally has not gotten sasakis confession yet. he’s strictly separating his life from anything bl-ish. so it’s like incomplete information that hiranos receiving here. there’s a scene in a previous ch where hirano hears abt the bl thing again and is like okay for a second I thought they meant me and kagiura… but we’re not Like That. That being a bl manga in specific. this is part of why I think sasaki to miyano gets marketed as a “boys life”… it’s Really conscious of the like. tropes that we tend to expect from bl and because the characters in this universe are Aware of these tropes, calling it boys life really plays with the idea of like. weird love, right. hirano may not see him and kagiura reflected perfectly in the tropes that miyano loves, same way miyano doesn’t see Himself reflected in the bl manga he reads, but that doesn’t mean either of them can’t or won’t have romantic feelings about guys.

also I KNEW they were gonna go to the dango place!!!! score!!!!!

…hirano being really clumsy was nice too… I remember when he struggled with the bandaids earlier. and tying his fortune for new years… love the detail.

I wanna stare at that window he slams forever too. like to get very conspiracy theory about it. if we looo at the shadow of the window in their room hiranos on the left, kagiura on the right. and here hirano’s centered mostly on the border but leaning into the right I would say. just as he’s having Feeling Epiphanies….

anyways i am mostly just going to stare at the chapter like wow…. it’s Them. not capable of much thoughts sorry

hirano to me is really just like. that one ch of gsnk where hori dresses kashima up as a princely lady and then a whole three days later is like wait…

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

what is your mclennon take

All righty then, feel like I haven't been asked this in two years.

(throwback to @phoneybeatlemania asking me this on anon on like day two of my having this blog <3)

I wanna preface this by saying I'm hyper-aware that multiple takes more or less fit the facts. I'm often reading up on what people who disagree with me are saying and try to consider their arguments as seriously as I can. Because of this, I don't feel entirely confident committing to one single take; more, a spectrum of scenarios I find more or less plausible.

(putting this under a read more cause I'm annoying lol)

At this point you can't really convince me John wasn't bi; the evidence is ample and IMO conclusive. Combining that with things John said after the breakup, some of his behaviours and words while the band was together makes him being attracted to Paul seem very likely to me, and I generally operate under that assumption though I do try to sometimes consider other possibilities.

Generally, I don't really buy into the idea that Paul is (meaningfully) attracted to men for two reasons: 1) he's denied it + continues to do so, and I dislike going against someone's word without good reason and 2) all the evidence I've seen for it feels very… Circumstantial. It seems more like a post-hoc explanation for a bunch of not necessarily related behaviours rather than concrete proof. (for example comparing when Paul started growing a beard to when he and Linda got together and concluding a general "return to the safety of heteronormativity" in mid-'68 based on that)

That being said, that doesn't mean I think Paul couldn't possibly be bi and I do see how the fact that he's still alive means that anecdotes like the ones we have of John confirming his consistent interest in men would not have emerged as easily and readily as they did once John died. (and conversely, Paul has outlived most Beatle-era people; I doubt much will come out from that time period at all in the near future, unless his kids decide to share things, but loyalty appears to be the currency of the McCartney Clan so…)

And also, I've seen this implied multiple times so let me reiterate: thinking Paul is not attracted to John is not equivalent to thinking Paul had an in any sense normal friendship with John. I believe that, no matter what, John was important to Paul to a probably slightly unhealthy extent and I don't discount that he's referred to John as some type of soulmate.

Now, timeline-wise, I consider myself somewhat of an outlier in that I'm highly skeptical of the idea that John was attracted to Paul from the moment they met (and, for that matter, if proof of Paul's attraction to men emerged, this skepticism would extend to him as well). But I also don't have some timeline I'm personally subscribed to because I think the evidence on this front is convoluted and somewhat contradictory. I'd say it mostly indicates to me that either a) John experienced multiple waves of infatuation which ebbed and flowed over the years or b) he was somewhat possessive of Paul before he was actually attracted to him. (or a combination of these two) Another thing I don't feel particularly confident about is at what point this attraction would have become conscious (and I err on the side of not believing an unconscious attraction could have lasted especially long)

I usually try to approach them holistically as people and when I can leave the romantic/sexual stuff unaddressed because I think a lot of aspects of their relationship can be analysed regardless of the precise nature of their dynamic. On the other hand, I do acknowledge that both these men were very sex/love-oriented and thus I can't discount it completely.