#like a hell for people who didn't deserve it.
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bruhstories · 2 days ago
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Bet IV
p.1 here & p.2 here & p.3 here
mandatory mdni because things will start to get heated up in the following chapters.
summary: you're starting to feel things for the man who hired you to take care of his cat. but he's only being nice. that's it and nothing more. pairing: hwang in-ho/the front man x civilian!reader warnings & content: age gap, afab!reader, slightly detailed descriptions of reader’s background for plot purposes, red text for in-ho, purple for reader, pre 33rd squid game, canon divergent, domestic violence (reader gets slapped by her uncle), veeeery slow burn, reader's dad is dead w/c: 2.1k
a/n: if you would like to be tagged for the next part, please check this post! thank you for reading! please remember that if you asked to be tagged but i can't find your age on your blog, you will NOT be tagged. there will be smut and people dying lol.
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"Where were you last night?"
You sighed at your uncle's question, sick and tired of explaining the same thing over and over again. He woke up earlier than he should have, especially for a man who worked night shifts at a warehouse. He did it on purpose, just to have more reasons to pick on you, and you knew that all too well. You lived through that hell for the past ten years.
"I told you, I was cat sitting." 
"Cat sitting." He repeated with derision in his voice. "You need to get a real job."
"I have two real jobs." You reminded him, and it took all your willpower not to raise your voice at him.
"Where's the money, then? Huh?" Your uncle grabbed you by the wrist, twisting it backwards.
"I'm getting paid today!"
"How much?" 
"660,326!" You cried out as his fingernails dug deeper into your skin.
"I better see that money on my nightstand by tomorrow morning." He let go of your wrist. "Keep the change."
How generous, you thought, rubbing the crescent-shaped dents in your skin. At least he didn't hit you, but your small victory crumbled when he turned on his heels, smacking you with the plastic fly swatter in his hand. Once. Twice. Thrice. 
You didn't cry, not in front of him. Never in front of him. 
But when you stepped through the doors of Mr. Hwang's penthouse, the dam broke, and tears streamed down your cheeks. They burned when they touched the cracked, swollen skin, courtesy of your uncle, but you still smiled at the sight of Eunjoo.
Instead of waiting next to the water bowl, like she had done before, the cat jumped on the countertop, her paw gently touching your wrist, where the imprinted dents of his fingernails were still visible. You didn't know why, but Eunjoo's gesture made you cry harder, heavy tears falling onto her plate. 
"Good kitty." You sobbed, daring to pet her, and she allowed it, nuzzling your hand for the first time since you met her.
Without wasting a single moment, you took out your phone to take a selfie of you and Eunjoo, and sent it to In-ho, with the caption 'Making progress!' You thought he might be happy to see her slowly lower her guard and get attached to you.
Who hurt you?
Stupid. How could you be so stupid to send a selfie when your cheek was grazed and puffy? Of course Mr. Hwang would ask about it, he was a nice man, one whose kindness you didn’t think you deserved.
I accidentally walked into a lamppost! Silly, right?
Hoping that the lie would be convincing enough, you carried on with your tasks after eating with Eunjoo, and to your surprise, it worked. It fooled him, but you weren’t proud of yourself in the slightest. 
You need to be more careful next time. If anything happened to you, who would take care of Eunjoo until I return?
It shouldn't have hurt reading his reply, and yet your heart ached. What did you expect? You were an employee, he obviously wanted his cat to be safe, not you. And how could someone like him even care about someone you? You came from different worlds that could never intertwine.
I will.
No thank you, no sad face — you were bitter, even though, rationally, you had no reason to be. Besides, you lied to him in the first place. Maybe if you told him the truth, he would have sent a different reply. It didn't matter. In less than five days he would come back, pay you and never speak to you again. Just like all rich people did.
You cleaned the bathrooms that morning, scrubbing the bath tubs, the toilets, the sinks and the floors until your fingertips stung and your head pounded from the bleach fumes. The vibration of your phone startled you, and you wiped your hands to check the notification.
Have I upset you?
Okay, maybe he did care. Or maybe he was just very observant and noticed your monotonous reply.
Not at all, I just have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry that you worried about me, or that I seemed upset! You're right, I need to be more careful next time.
Please don't take this the wrong way, miss, but I've never met anyone who apologised for making me worry about them. You're quite special.
You did a double take when you read Mr. Hwang's reply, and a wave of remorse crushed your heart. The man was too nice for you to lie to him, but you didn't want him involved in your family affairs, either. There was a strong internal conflict within you, a battle between honesty and dishonesty, but for the time being, dishonesty won, no matter how disgraceful it was.
Choosing not to reply, as time was ticking and the Abduls would be waiting for you soon, you swiftly finished tidying up the bathrooms and put away all the cleaning products so Eunjoo couldn't get to them. With the automatic feeder full, fresh water in the bowl and litter boxes clean, you left.
In all fairness, you didn't know what to reply to his text. No one called you special before, except for that one guy you dated who only wanted to sleep with you, and unfortunately succeeded. It wasn't your proudest moment, but you moved on since then. You stared at the text, typing a reply, then deleting it, then typing again, and you did that for the duration of the entire bus ride back to Guryong Village. By the time you knocked on Ali's door, you still hadn't come up with a response.
What could you even say? Thank you? Likewise? I'm sorry I lied to you, my uncle slapped me with the fly swatter? No. In telling the truth, Mr. Hwang would pity you, perhaps even offer you more money, or food, or clothes, and you didn't want to be pitied. You wanted your hard work to be recognised, not to use your social status or depressing background as an excuse.
Mrs. Abdul couldn't feed you that day, and that was fine. They needed to prioritise themselves, since they didn't live any better than you. Luckily, you saved enough money to buy a kimbap roll for lunch and a bag of rice crackers for dinner and breakfast. Resourcefulness was, perhaps, your strongest point and the reason you survived for so long.
The theme park was packed with tourists and locals, gathering to watch the parade, and you took the time to entertain children and take pictures with them, always on your feet, always working. Back in the dressing room, you took the comically large mascot head off, sweat dripping down your face and neck. Summers were worse — there were body parts you didn't think could sweat.
"Excuse me, Y/N?"
You looked up from your seat to a man around your age, a coworker named Donghyun. He had worked there for a few months or so, but you barely spoke.
"Yes?" You smiled, resting your elbows on the mascot head in your lap.
"We're getting paid today, and a few of us are going for drinks after work. I was wondering if you would like to come." Donghyun avoided looking into your eyes, nervously pinching the soft fur of his own mascot.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I have another job I need to get to. Maybe another time."
"Yeah, another time." He nodded. "Hey, could I get your number?"
"Why would you want my number?" You laughed, immediately pursing your lips when Donghyun frowned. "Sorry, yeah, of course I'll give you my number!"
You were such a people pleaser, it was ridiculous, but he seemed to feel better after saving your number in his phone. And there was no harm in making new friends.
"I'll text you later." Donghyun nodded with a smile and left.
What a strange interaction, you thought. It wasn't unusual for men to like you — you were pretty, smart, funny — but you just weren't interested in any of them. In fact, it was their age and maturity that didn't appeal to you. They acted like prepubescent pricks, trying to impress anything with a vagina and a pretty face by being obnoxious and loud and downright irritating.
Older men were different. They had manners, they were respectful and caring. They knew how to dress, knew how to speak to women, kind of like Mr. Hwang.
Oh. 
God, you needed to forcibly remove that thought from your mind before it spiraled into something worse. In-ho probably wanted nothing to do with you — no, he definitely didn’t want anything to do with you. He was just a nice gentleman who happened to not be married. Maybe he had a girlfriend that didn't live with him. Or maybe he worked so much he couldn't afford a relationship. 
Maybe he murdered people.
You laughed at that ridiculous idea — no one in their right mind would do that, especially not Mr. Hwang. He had a cat, for God's sake. Murderers usually killed animals, surely he was just a normal man with a lot on his mind, a workaholic, or a hermit.
Walking into your boss' office, you received your pay and counted the money — 662,326. You got more than you should've, completely forgetting about the pay rise. Your uncle didn't need to know about that, and you took the extra 2,326 and hid it in a small pocket inside your backpack, along with other money you saved. Unbeknownst to him, you secretly opened a savings account in the hopes that one day you would be able to leave and rent your own place, but you only had 1,094,463.60 won, which was barely enough to cover the deposit.
One day. One day you would leave all that abuse behind and have a fresh start. But today was not that day. 
Back in Gangnam-gu, you entered the penthouse earlier than normal and dropped your bag on the floor next to your worn and torn boots. You were hoping they would last through winter because you really couldn't afford a new pair. Eunjoo ran to greet you for the first time, and your heart was filled with joy at the sight of the cat rubbing against your leg. She was growing on you, and you soon realised how much you'd miss her when Mr. Hwang returned. Perhaps he'd let you visit her. 
You turned the TV on and played some songs by ABBA, the sadness of the morning gone, replaced only by joy and optimism. Things would turn out well, you just knew it. You grabbed In-ho's black clothes and placed them in the washing machine, all the while dancing to the beat of Money, Money, Money. It was a song you related to, but you didn't want to find a wealthy man. You just wanted to have enough money to survive without your uncle.
"It's a rich man's world." You sang to Eunjoo, who wiggled her butt, playfully attacking your feet. 
"All the things I could do if I had a little money, kitty. I would get my own apartment, I would donate to orphanages and charities. Oh, don't look at me like that." You frowned when Eunjoo stared at you judgmentally. "I would! There are people out there who need help. But you know what I would get for me? A hotteok! Ah, I would kill for that cinnamony goodness."
You placed the food on the floor and opened the pack of rice crackers. 
"My dad got me a hotteok on my seventh birthday. It was the best birthday ever and- oh my God, I'm talking to a cat." Laughing at the sudden realisation, you shook your head in disbelief. "Well, you're probably my only friend anyway. You don't judge me. You don't care if I'm rich or poor. You just listen and eat. Oh!"
Good evening, Mr. Hwang! Could I ask what your favourite dish is?
You decided that would be your gift. Cooking wasn't your strongest skill, but you were confident in yourself. And who didn't want to come back to a hot home-made meal? Maybe he liked jajangmyeon, or jjigae, or something sweet, like chapssaltteok. The possibilities were endless.
Beef Wellington. Why?
Your heart sunk to your stomach. Beef fucking Wellington? How on Earth could you even afford all the ingredients? The tenderloin itself was probably over 65,000 won. But you were going to do it for him, regardless of what it cost. You felt that Mr. Hwang deserved it. 
I was hoping to cook it for you when you returned. I'll admit, I didn't think it would be such a... fancy dish, but I'm sure I can manage. 
Have you tried it before?
I'm afraid not. Is it good?
Exquisite. You'll have to stay and try it when I return, yes?
Chewing on your bottom lip, your heart skipped a beat at his request. You knew he was just being nice, but you couldn't stop the sudden burning desire to just obey. 
Yeah, I'll stay. 
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tagging: @ri1liane @anmert1 @syraxnyra @frshluvcats @lanyia @mettreads @nightdark-dreamdark @bridge-always @lovekm @audrey223 @ririgy @starkeyszn  @hobiesbrownsgf  @thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry @maria-trisha @akiqvq @10hrs26mn @tenzko @okaycharr @politicstanner @moonxknightx @googie-jeon @swthrtbyeol  @mariiestfu  @ratsnestinmyhair @missroro @talia-the-gemini @fortluocha @true-queen-of-mischief @ssa-callahan @bibliophile-yomna @wwastro @heartsforseo @marymun @glads-stuff @starryeddie @kisses2kanao @gagaga167 @l4venderia @scryi @lelisae @twicelover2 @ashtrosstuff @cruel-affair @cdej6 @veragrhm @nikos-a-clown @cchewhaz @pepsicolacoochie @lily-ann-b @red22wolf @nellabear @unabletonotlovesatoru @happiness2112 @waterjewelsspite @luna-looniesnlog @plan3t-plut0 @full-sunnies @houta-habtet-houta @alexisabirdie @riri53 @bluehourss
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ember-des-meeres · 36 minutes ago
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Doing this not only for myself, but for any future relationships with actual kind and healthy people who somehow, miraculously, really want to be with me, too :(
To whoever that unicorn is, if I ever actually even find him:
I'm sorry I'm like this, I know you didn't ask for this and I'm sure you definitely don't deserve all of my trauma responses to seemingly unrelated as hell shit, or any trauma-dumping that I may vomit out only to over-apologize to you for later and then try to over-compliment you for handling in some unconscious sad attempt to make up for it because I know it's an unhealthy rollercoaster, I know that my fawning response only weakens your perception of me and hurts the relationship, I know that my fear of abandonment can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, I know that you cannot fix me for me and that only I can do that (with proper help). I never, ever want to feel like another worry or a burden. Re-parenting is really hard work, but I really do want to be a stronger person - not just for myself, but for us. I want to be your partner. I want you to be able to rely on me to ease the burden, not add to it. I really am doing my very best to work on myself, both inside and out, and become someone who is worthy of that for you. I promise that I don't need someone who's perfect, just someone who tries, and I only ask to be bestowed that same exact courtesy. I am loyal to a fault. I will fight for you and for our family. I will show up and support you. I want to be someone that you can't wait to talk about your day to. I want to be someone who you are excited to share things with. I want to be someone who can get you to laugh, especially when I know you really need it - and I also want you to feel understood and respected on the days that you just need to be alone, because I know I have those days, too. I want you to feel safe trusting me and being yourself around me. I want to play silly video games with you and I want to travel the world with you. I want our home to be filled with laughter and creativity and comfort and fun, wherever it is. I don't want us to just tolerate each other and survive, I want us to actually feel safe and happy and loved in our home. I really hope that you can forgive me for the times that I slip up :( because I really do want us to thrive and have a wonderful life together - and I believe that if we both are sincerely working at it, then we really can.
With love, Someone who is already working on it
Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living
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shitpostingsapphic · 3 days ago
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Hi folks.
So it's come to my attention that there's a user on here by the name of @identityflawed and usually I'm not one to tag a user outright to inadvertently encourage strangers seeking them out, but this particular user is fine with doing such with others after, frankly, HORRENDOUS and UNCALLED FOR insults and hatred for the work they put in towards a piece of fan material. And they also prefer to be called outright. So, sweetheart, this one's for you.
This user has directly targeted the author of the popular and successful Caitvi fantiction titled "cerulean eyes for the wounded soul", a WWII based AU on our favorite lesbians, with Vi being an American fighter pilot and Caitlyn being a french countryside widow. What it boils down to is a whole lot of nothing words that slander the writing, insult the author, and have the audacity to say they could have done it better. So much so that they TAKE THE IDEA and "revamp it" to their liking.
Not only is their criticism completely unwarranted and not even criticism but more outright degradation of the hard work the author put forth, but it's a complete disrespect of the fanfiction community at large. Fanfiction comes purely out of the creativity of random people like me and you. Fanfiction writers aren't paid for their work, and thus the dedication required to even put out works like Cerulean Eyes should be commended. Needless to say, the work has been commended, due to its success.
I can only pinpoint the behavior of @identityflawed as that of a jealous and vindictive sorry excuse of a human being who has nothing better to do than tear people down while lazily stealing their ideas to compensate for their lack of creativity and their desperation to feel something besides insecurity.
You pretend to be a respectful individual by slapping a "no hard feelings?" equivalent of a statement at the end of a dissertation length hate letter TO THE AUTHOR about a work they dedicated months of time and energy towards. No sane person could ever call that respect. And implying that it's okay to harass an author to their mental health's detriment because "they should be strong enough to take it if they want to be on the internet" is, in a word, vile.
Darling, if you didn't like the fic, that's fine. Your vocal opinion is not needed. The possession of an opinion is not an indication that it needs to be shared. Learn some humility and keep your fucking mouth shut before you waste precious brain cells and oxygen that would be better used by other more deserving individuals.
I encourage anyone who comes across this post to block the user, and/or not to use abusive and violent language, but to feel free to speak your mind otherwise to them. They invited such words be directed to them. I see no reason not to fulfill their wishes.
Though, blocking might do the trick. The amount of traffic they get is meager at best. Jealousy is truly a hell of a drug.
(Images below for the post they deleted on the issue, in relation to the original criticism of the fanfiction, which you can find on their profile)
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rainbowrites · 1 day ago
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[image description: a pile of chocolate chip cookies on a counter in front of a plastic bag with more of the same cookies]
I saw that Colton died last week, and almost immediately couldn't process it. Closed the tab and walked away. I didn't think I deserved to be sad about someone who I had never met in real life. But today I looked through @penroseparticle-memorial and was so fucking moved. So here it is:
I met @penroseparticle, like many of us, through Glee. It feels strange to say I met him, when I never met him in person. But I did meet him. I did know him. Just because it happened online doesn't mean it didn't happen. I met him when I was 17. I'm 31 now. I knew him for 14 years. That's almost half my life. Even after Glee ended and we stopped screaming together every week about the Everything that was that show, I always enjoyed seeing him on my dash. He was like a neighbor that I'd nod at sometimes, or enjoy a chuckle as he told me a funny story by the mailbox. Hell, even my fiancé knew him just based on how many of Colton's posts I would show him.
I never got to meet him in person so I don't have any pictures of him. But what I do have is a pictures of the chocolate chip cookies that he and @into-the-weeds politicked their way into getting through my follower give away. Never Forget Cookiegate. For literal years after that, every time I made cookies I thought about you guys and would laugh to myself. You guys waged a campaign that could have overthrown countries for those cookies. I remember you had people voting for you from across the world! You gathered so many people together, all for the sake of cookies and most importantly, in dedication to the bit.
I feel like that really sums you up. Bringing people together with food and laughter. I wish I had sent you more cookies. I wish I could have given them to you in person
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hurgablurg · 1 day ago
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to be honest, hearing ludinus' backstory gives his motives a lot of sense now. innocent people getting killed in the crossfire of two powers making a big spectacle of their fight - it's how you get terrorists.
disprivileged nations don't just spontaneously generate extremists because they are evil and hate your way of life (only privileged nations produce terrorists of that kind), they are created out of violent trauma and a desire for revenge and prevention.
Colonial powers want something from a region, they go in and take it, killing anyone who gets in the way. The orphans and loved ones of those murdered then dedicate their lives to getting revenge and gaining power to ensure their remaining family are never hurt again, and strike back at the colonial powers in acts of terrorism and enact their own schemes to grab hold of power locally. This incenses the citizens of the colonial powers as it undermines their perceived invincibility and specialness at home, and their perceived authority abroad, and not understanding that they are the ones who started it (insulated by their privilege), they respond with even worse atrocities, which in turn kill and harm more innocents, who also dedicate their lives to revenge, keeping the cycle going when the onus is on the colonial power to admit responsibility and fault, repatriate, and then fuck off.
The gods, by not being actual gods and just being very powerful entities, cannot bring themselves to admit that they are not all-powerful and either cannot or do not want to answer every single prayer and solve every single problem, yet still desire the boons that come with being worshiped as all-powerful. The actions they take to fulfill their desires and objectives destroy lives and create trauma, and thus create terrorists like Ludinus and the entirety of the Ruby Vanguard. If the gods really weren't as contentious of an issue like everyone says, no one in-universe would have joined.
The only reason Exandria didn't break out the white phosphorus to tortuously annihilate the impetuous upstarts right away is because they managed to hack a big laser satellite and point it at the White House, threatening the invulnerability of the gods.
Some CR Fans like to insist, maybe because Matt wrote Ludinus as never shutting up and never taking responsibility himself, that the Ruby Vanguard doesn't have a point, or that they are hypocrites, or that they are sore losers or that the actions they take in the course of their goals are inexcusable. That they deserve to die for ruining so many lives, while the heroes kill them in a multitude of cruel and spectacular ways and are lauded for it. They've all gone through some shit themselves, even the worst of them, and there's hundreds of thousands of Vanguard who are nowhere close to worse. Hell, my mind goes to that one kid who exalted during their recon mission after watching them kill his teammates. Many such stories. Ludinus himself was a little soldier boy going off to a war he didn't want, once upon a time.
But maybe Some CR Fans here don't understand that a series borne of Pathfinder might have villains with motivations and reasons more complicated than the ones borne of an inflated dungeon crawling splatbook.
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lastoneout · 2 days ago
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Also another more recent one here!
While wider studies are needed, it does feel really insidious that stimulant medication is misunderstood, demonized, and so strictly regulated that most of us have had to go without for days or weeks at a time sometimes multiple times a year or even EVERY MONTH, and in some places it's almost impossible to actually access at all while the truth is that it is quite literally life-saving medical care for those of us who need it.
I've left the stove on three separate times when unmedicated and I was VERY lucky that none of them resulted in carbon monoxide poisoning or me burning my house down. I've also nearly electrocuted myself or walked into traffic, being off my meds legit feels like all my senses are dulled, I'm far clumsier which leads to injury, forget important things like if I've taken my other meds, meds that if I go off of suddenly or take too much of can cause severe health problems. I've heard horror stories of how hard it is to even just drive safely with unmedicated ADHD and most people don't even realize how unsafe it is until they've gone on meds and learned what normal driving is for a neurotypical person. And the list goes on. Hell, being unmedicated can even lead to losing our jobs, housing, or access to food and support systems, and makes it way harder to keep your house clean, all of which also lead to an increased risk of injury, illness, and death. I've missed rent more times than I can count, racked up credit card debt, had my utilities shut off, all because I just can't fucking remember to pay bills on time without my meds, I've missed fucking black mold in my shower, accidentally eaten food out of date, gotten way too drunk without realizing it, it's a nightmare, it really is.
I really just hate thinking about how many people with ADHD have likely died or been seriously injured or suffered due to simple mistakes that they never would have made if they were properly medicated, and it makes me so angry that ADHD treatment is so hard to get almost entirely based on bullshit scaremongering about addiction. In fact being medicated puts ADHDers at LESS of a risk of turning to alcohol and drugs to make our lives manageable, and it's nearly impossible for someone with ADHD to get addicted to a stimulant medication anyway.
(Not that addicts deserve what happens to them, they need help and support as well, everyone deserves human rights and to have their needs met, this just is a completely fabricated problem when it comes to ADHD and it's normalization is legit killing us. My mom has also nearly died due to not being medicated and she to go through like four different licensed psychatrists until she found one who would actually prescribe ritalin for her, the rest all cited risk of addiction as a reason to deny her even though they should fucking know that isn't a legit concern. One even said she just "didn't want to be held responsible" for her patients forming addictions to ADHD meds. I wonder how she'd feel if she was held responsible for all the suffering her desperation to keep her hands clean has almost certainly caused.)
And tbh I'd also rather a million people get high off adderall than have even one person with ADHD miss out on medical care that can save their life because disabled people shouldn't have to suffer to make up for shit we basically can't do. Why should someone else abusing adderall mean I have to risk my life and go without. Make it make sense.
It is actually way better for 100 addicts to get their fix on pain pills than a single person in pain go without. I call this the "Torture is bad" principle. You should be able to get the good stuff forever after a single doctor's visit. If you're worried about addicts fund rehab centers and needle exchanges instead of torturing people.
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metis-iphigenia · 2 days ago
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As someone who has been a fan of The Odyssey, being inside the Epic: The Musical fandom has been absolutely so amazing. Every Saga that has happened up to the Ithaca Saga was just so,,, great that I can't find words😭😭 Not only that it has been amazing to read other peoples interpretion of the Gods, Myths, Monsters and Heroes alike.
Anyway, I can't get over the Ithaca Saga and how beautiful every song sounds. So have some of my favourite moments in this Saga.
1- The Challenge
In the past Sagas, I have already been too in love with the violin playing whenever Penelope was mentioned etc, not only that I already knew the singer of Penelope had an amazing voice. BUT OH MY LOVE DID THE VOICE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD./pos
Sirens are real guys and she is one of them(real information)
I don't have a significant favourite part in this song because honestly Anna Lea's voice is so captivating that the entire song passes in a very fun way. Just a very beautiful, sorrowful song overall.
2- Hold Them Down
I already knew this song from the snippets released before but hearing it from Ayron's voice was a whole different experience. He was SO good. Again, the whole song was amazing.
"Can't you guys see we're being played? This is how they hold us down while the throne gets colder. Hold us down while we slowly age. Hold us down while the boy gets bolder. Where in the hell is our pride and our rage?"
One of my favourite moments in this song was this probably. While listening, I actually got the feeling that the suitors were fed up from waiting for Penelope to choose a king. I think Ayron did a wonderful job in not only singing a villainous song but also making us feel how entitled the suitors are actually are.
I especially loved the moment where Antinous gets hit with an arrow by Odysseus and him encouraging the others about their plan is cut off. I will admit, I did audibly laughed at that.
3- Odysseus
I literally can't think of words to describe the emotions I was feeling while listening to this song. I think this is my favourite song alongside of "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again".
The electric guitar playing in the start, again the symbol of him becoming a monster and leaving his humanity(the acoustic guitar) MAN I LOVED THIS SONG.
Him aiming for the torches just like Scylla has done was a great add to that too. Bunch of people has already pointed out this before but it can never be too many amiright? But yeah he really is using every trick in his domain just like Hermes told him to and I love it.
"Somewhere in the shadows lurks an agile, deadly foe..."
(...)
"He's using the darkness to hide his approaches!"
The image of Odysseus as Batman popped up in my head after these lines and I can't get it out😭(That au would be so amazing though, especially Talia as Penelope and Damian as Telemachus.)
"You don't think I know my own palace? I built it."
I was already smiling during this whole song and I screamed when he said this. like okay king you go slay I am right behind you
"Old king, our leader is dead. You've destroyed the serpent's head, now the rest of us are no longer a threat.
Old king, forgive us instead, so that no more blood is shed. Let's have open arms instead."
Well It is not a Saga if it doesn't have an "open arms" comeback I guess. Though I did cackle when Odysseus said "No" and killed the guy.
Honestly, deserved. I might be remembering it wrong but I think Eurymachus also asks for forgiveness in The Odyssey? Really glad Odysseus didn't grant it in The Odyssey and in The Epic because from what I remember in The Odyssey, Eurymachus was Antinous' right-hand man and just as bad as him. (Correct me if I am wrong please, It has been a while since the last time I read The Odyssey)
I have no idea who sings Eurymachus in Epic but this whole part was just enough for me to want to learn who it is.
TELEMACHUS' PART! Mico's voice is already beautiful to listen to and it became way more beautiful with the backround music. His own theme music, violin symbolising all that he has learned from his mother. Those sounds just went really well against eachother in my opinion.
"Brothers, we have company, and he's made a grave mistake."
The way this guy sang the sentence, especially "grave mistake" was so satisfying. Absolutely so satisfying I love it.
Also, I heard somewhere that the "Odysseus" repeating in the backround was how the name was pronounced and I love that detail. I loved whenever his name was said in the backround and it is also very interesting how every monsters song is named after them, just like this song.
The screams of the suitors after the whole slaughter is over was a really nice touch, I love it when Jorge adds screams into his songs.
The speech Odysseus gives is also worth to mention.
Mercy? Mercy? My mercy has long since drowned, It died to bring me home. And as long as you're around, my family's fate is left unknown.
You plotted to kill my son, you planned to rape my wife! All of you are going to die!
I also love how it doesn't beat it around the bush about what the suitors were planning to do to Penelope. It should be said as it is, they were planning to rape her which is so vile and awful. Which what made their deaths so satisfying exactly.
Overall, Odysseus was an amazing song. So amazing that I will be going insane about it to my friends for the next 2 months probably.
4- I Can't Help but Wonder
I was crying by the end of this song. Seeing them FINALLY reunite was so 😭😭😭 ALSO THEIR HUG. ☹️☹️☹️/pos
Oh my son, look how much you've grown. Oh my boy, the sweetest joy I've known. Twenty years ago I held you in my arms, how time has flown.
Used to say I'd make the storm clouds cry for you, used to say I'd capture wind and sky for you. Held you in my arms prepared to die for you, oh how times has flown.
Hi, so this should be illegal! All I want to say about this song is how emotional and beautiful it was. And I love how it reminded me of "Dear Theodosia" in Hamilton.
THE WARRIOR OF THE MIND COMEBACK. DEAD AND BURIED. I am not well after that ☹️☹️ Also Odysseus putting everything behind for his family,,, falls to knees with my hands ripping my hair... I am so happy for them.
5- Would You Fall in Love with Me Again?
Finally, we are onto the song that made me shit tears. The OdyPen reunion we all were waiting for just like they were.
THE VIOLIN IN THE START. It is so beautiful just like Penelope, I can't get over it.
Again, Anna Lea's voice make me want to just drop everything I have and listen to it until I start to lose the ability to hear. It is so amazing.
Love how whenever someone uses the word "Waiting" in the song, Its volume and impact raises more than the last one. I especially loved Penelope ending it with "for you." saying that it was him she was waiting for, not love itself because to her, he is her love. I don' know if that made sense but hope I was able to explain it.
The part where Penelope asks Odysseus to carry their wedding bed away from here was such a beautiful moment becasue Anna Lea just sang it very beautifully(as she does as always) It was so emotional and so beautiful.
How could you say this?
I had built that wedding bed with my blood and sweat, carved it into the olive tree where we first met. A symbol of my love everlasting...
Do you realize what you have asked me? The only way to move it is to it cut from its roots!
I just find their Tree Bed very sweet that is all. And a lot of people have pointed out how in The Odyssey, Penelope asked her husband this to prove to herself that this is her husband, while in Epic she asked this to prove to him that he is her husband. I find that change very sweet.
I will fall in love with you over and over again. I don’t care how, where, or when, no matter how long it’s been you're mine.
Don’t tell me you’re not the same person! You’re always my husband and I’ve been waiting, waiting.
The emotion in her voice OHHHH I AM NOT SURVIVING THIS SAGA.
Never getting over the fact that Epic The Musical ended with Odysseus and Penelope saying "I love you." to eachother. NEVER.
There are so much more things I want to say about this banger of a Saga. But for now, I will just congratulate them all on their beautiful voices(EVERY single person who sang in this musical has amazing voice, counting other Sagas too. Holy damn, y'all are amazing.)
The fandom has been an AWESOME one to be in too! Everyone is such amazing people and not only that all of you are very talented. So congratulations to every and each one of you who have done fanarts, fanfictions, animations, fan songs, analysis and so so much more about the Musical, all of you are amazing. <33
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justjesse116 · 2 days ago
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Can I pester you for your thoughts on Dabi and Hawks' respective canon endings (if you haven't posted em somewhere already and I've just missed it)
Oh yeah, I did say I'd touch on that and sure never did huh. I got so fed up that I just ignored the ending and didn't feel like acknowledging it with a post anymore.
But I do have an answer for you. It's gonna be a long one, buckle up buttercup.
As for Dabi's 'end'.
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Ah yes, fantastic message Horikoshi, if you're not a perfect victim and don't shrink away and make yourself small and hide away from your abuse/abuser - if you get mad and lash out then you should just fucking die. Your ABUSER gets a second chance, but you can just go fuck yourself.
(For a better understanding on how I feel about Dabi's story as a whole I got, what, 2 sentences in and had to pause because I'm sick as hell right now and a little fucked up on cold medicine, and I got so mad my hands started shaking and my heart tried to do it's best impression of a wildebeest stampede in my chest. (Emotional regulation who?))
Dabi is my ride or die, because I came from a home where my sperm donor terrorized me my whole life for the crime of being alive and having the gall to take after my mother. I have an unfortunately personal understanding of how he feels, at least in part, and his end in the story is what bothers me most, and will continue to do so.
Did he go about it the best way? No, I'm not a fan of the murder (arson I couldn't give 2 fucks about, destroy that government property babey) but I can't blame him for turning out the way he did. He went through literal hell and came out the other side torn apart physically and mentally. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about killing my sperm donor for all the ways he fucked me up every once in a while, so I can't blame him for that either. I think it's a natural reaction to want to eliminate a perceived threat, especially one as traumatizing as one of the people who are supposed to be guaranteed to love you turning on you the way Endeavor did.
But anyway, I'm rambling at this point so in a nutshell; FUCK Horikoshi and his wishy washy writing and bitchass cop out. The end to Dabi's story is insulting at best and harmful at worst. It's very obvious that he was over My Hero, since he bulldozed over anything that would resemble a satisfying ending in regards to multiple parts of the story, but his handling of Dabi as a character is the most egregious in my opinion. I have well and truly had enough of this man (derogatory).
So now I shall move on to the man, the myth, the legend, the love of my life - you get it. Hawks. And if I'm being honest I'm not very keen on his ending either.
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First of all, what ever happened to giving heroes more time to kill?
Ahem. Excuse me, getting a little heated.
Fucking give me that man, he needs to be sat down in a plush fucking armchair, with a mug of actual coffee, not that canned shit, bundled in the softest blanket money can buy, just relaxing and reading or watching a show. LET THAT MAN REST. HIS ASS HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THE PRESIDENT OF AN ORGANIZATION THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABOLISHED AT THE END. THAT'S WHAT IT FELT LIKE HORIKOSHI WAS HINTING TOWARDS THE WHOLE TIME. GET RID OF THE HERO SYSTEM. BUT NOOOOO.
To be a little more coherent (hopefully) about it. It's not to say I don't think he could do it, I just think it was one fuck of a leap. That was some Olympic level stretching, at least in my opinion. I just think that man deserves to rest. He belongs in a quiet little house in the countryside and he has a part time job at like, a local farm or something and in his spare time he volunteers all over town and preferably Dabi is there as well 🙄. Give him peace and quiet, let him rest.
I honestly don't know what would have satisfied me canon wise for his ending, but HPSC president just ain't it. Again, I feel like it was Horikoshi catching the cooties for his own work; he just wanted to be done with it so he slapped together what he thought was the most likely of scenarios and just left it at that. In a word; disappointing.
I see a lot of people saying he should have died, because out of everyone of the heroes his death would have made the most sense and had the most meaning or whatever, and I can agree with that, but I'm still glad he's not dead. It absolutely is fucked up how disproportionate the deaths were when it comes to heroes vs villains, no one can deny that. But dammit I need a win, I need a fave who ain't dead.
I think that about wraps up my thoughts without me writing a god damn dissertation. Thanks for the ask, it was a nice distraction.
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blue-jasmine2yas · 2 years ago
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I understand why people want to die now. When trauma weathers down your imagination. When your ability to think out of the prison fades and damages. You created a quiet space in the chaos, and it still wasn’t enough. In the end you are a little ship that will wreck in the storm. It’s because you wanted to play somewhat fair and ignore what was happening. 
Why couldn’t you stop it? WHy couldn’t you prevent it. You spend the rest of the days making a portal to leave you rmisery, proceeding a gundred failrues. Still in the clothess you came in in to this hell hole. 
If someeone else took the pen and wrote they would say, something like, I don’t know, . . .  I was beginning to think there was only one failure, and it was me. So predicctabletabel. Tconumblr, home of the damaged. There was nothing wrong with our capacity to be happy, but tin the end they got ius. and blamed it onillness. it
And the rage that comes after that is jarring.  
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third-doctor · 7 months ago
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I feel like I'm going insane. That episode read to me as a lot more tragic than other people are reading it. Yeah they were racist and rich and spoiled and awful but they were just kids. They were all just kids. Lindy was absolutely terrified throughout the whole thing and clinging desperately to what she knew, which was terrible. They could've had the chance to learn and become better but they chose to go die and it's infuriating and tragic because nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to be eaten by slugs or die of exposure in the woods. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. But they chose it rather than let the Doctor help them because they'd rather stay in their rich white supremacist bubble and he just wants to help and there's nothing he can do.
Maybe it's because one of my core beliefs is that nobody deserves death and suffering. Nobody. Even the worst person on earth can learn from their mistakes and come back and change and everyone deserves that chance. There's no such thing as too late. But they're never going to get that chance because they actively rejected it and to me that's still very, very sad.
#dead men do tell tales#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dot and bubble#I am losing my mind. I am actually losing my mind#maybe it's because my brain is always telling me that I'm the worst person alive#instead of just saying that no I'm not my response is to say yeah okay and even the worst person alive doesn't deserve to die and can chang#what matters is that I'm taking the next step. and anyone can choose at any point to take the next step#and they actively rejected doing that and it's sad and infuriating#because nobody deserves to die#but they get what they chose#there's also the fact that I was raised by racist trump supporters and had to unlearn a lot of shit#which I was only able to do because I got out of my small town cult bubble and I was actually willing to listen to people#the problem comes when you see assholes and go wow look at those horrible unsympathetic assholes I could never be like them#by treating them as solely monstrous and something completely different from you you ignore your own ability to be monstrous#because you're not like them you're better#even the worst person is still a person and not some cartoon villain#and thinks that their actions are justified#and I'm always looking at people being assholes and going what makes you think this behavior is okay. you clearly think you're in the right#seriously what makes you think this. I want to know your exact thought process so I can stay far the hell away from it#I've been the asshole thinking I was completely in the right and I've seen people be absolutely horrible and justify it to themselves#so I'm always aware that this could be me. I could be being a total fucking dick. so I'm going to study you so I can avoid that#also the next person who says it was because they didn't learn empathy/were unempathetic gets slapped
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bellamygate · 3 months ago
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the thing that gets me abt religious ppl is they'll demand u respect their religion & that religion hating your existence but they won't respect ur right to be like yea my belief says god isn't real so thats a dumb reason for hating other people or ye ok then ur god is homophobic thats kinda shitty they go APESHIT like. it goes both ways? like they can say i hate gay ppl bc of my religion but when a gay person says well i dont respect that religion bc it doesnt respect me its ww3. I'm not walking on eggshells for people who are too quick to condemn me to hell
#likeeee. ppl have been homophobic to me bc 'their religion condemns it' but i cant be like ok well then fuck ur religion?#but they can say okay fuck you and be hateful and intolerant like that?#why do i tolerate u if u wont tolerate me? im just#like to me as an atheist/agnostic im like. hearing that something i dont even think is real is why u hate me as a person is so insane#like 'its unnatural and wrong bc my religion says so' like ok. why does that have to affect me as someone who doesnt follow said religion#jusr wish more religious ppl were as understanding and non judgemental as they claim they are??#like ur gna say that shit to me? u think god likes that ur speaking for him rn? u rly see urself on the same level as god?#u think YOU can judge others? embarrassing#*smacks own ass* this baby can fit so much religious trauma#i love religion sm for some ppl but then other aspects of it im like why cant yall just modify this as society progresses#them books old as hell them writers didn't even know electricity but ur talking their word abt an entire group of ppl being wrong & evil?#i like when religious ppl apply the teachings to modern society & take into account how shit has changed#when ppl take the good parts of religion and focus on them and bring that religious warmth w them where they go is so nice#(my friends<333)#like they live by them teachings and are good ppl but dc abt divorce or abortion or gays bc society has changed & ppl ultimately deserve#control of their own bodies and shouldnt have to be trapped in bad partnerships#& girls who love other women and dont agree w the typical 'woman serve men' that a lot of religious old folk got goin on#if u can modify some stuff in the religious books whats stopping u extending that grace to literal people just being who they are
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 2 months ago
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Man if Marcy keeps ending up with like child protection services in all these fics over her parents being slightly distant then my parents should be in JAIL
#idk if I'm wording it correctly but this goes hand in hand with some posts I#I've made abt Marcy's parents not being super great but also not being like...#like i didn't imagine them as outright abusive or deserving of losing custody over her#and people kept reblogging them and tagging them as abuse?? 😭😭#like if THAT is abuse. then what the fuck what up at my house#c'mon! her parents growing to kinda hate her because they couldn't stand her personality and failing to fulfill her emotional needs#while still always making sure she always had her material needs met#and doing their best not to blow up at her#resulting in them always acting mildly annoyed towards her#is not *really* abuse. right? like that's just how pretty much every parent feels tbh#like i've never seen a parent who genuinely likes their kids. every parent i know is either sick of them or morbidly depressed#like wondering why the hell they chose this life for themselves#some parents are just better at being optimistic and focusing on the nice parts than others#but not all have the mental fortitude to smile through the disgust and resentment they feel all the time#which tbh is an inhumane thing to ask from a person. parents are humans too and there's only so much a person can repress#i'm convinced parents like the boonchuys only exist in fiction#i just imagine Marcy's parents as being average parents who just don't always have the patience a kid like Marcy needs#like over here my parents are breaking my assistive devices and spying on me while i'm in the bathroom and I never considered that abuse#i just used to drive them insaneeeee back in the day lol#just like with friends and couples. sometimes parents and their kids aren't meant for each other y'know? and maybe that's just Marcy's case#i do know that's my case#but strangers online are here crying abuse for less#so now i'm like. hehehehe. say what now#personal
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fagdykevash · 7 months ago
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soulmate aus definitely have their issues etc etc. but god it's so fucking cathartic to imagine a universe where, despite the difficulties and the distances and the confusion. someone can still be loved. whatever.
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lord-squiggletits · 10 months ago
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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actual-corpse · 7 months ago
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Watching Avatar the Last Airbender...
Politely reminded of the time people wanted my head because I said that ATLA ruined storytelling because some people can't fucking think critically of media before trying to tell you what's so good about it.
I LOVE AtLA! Adore it! But like.... A majority of people watched Zuko switch sides and said, "Damn... What if we redeemed ALL the villains?" Without realizing Zuko wasn't a true villain in need of redemption.
But... The Redemption Game isn't truly JUST the fault of AtLA... There was a shift in the Moral of the Story. Idk how to explain it bc I'm half asleep, but like...
#Steven Universe is a prime example of why Redemption isn't always the Best Idea#i also have beef with people trying to 'make the next Avatar'... You dont even understand WHY you like it!#hell#My Little Pony didn't start redeeming it's villains until it became Vogue to do so#and so#Starlight Glimmer gets a redemption she doesn't deserve (she deserves Tartarus) and is free to continue to abuse people#BUT#towards the end of the series (after it found the plot again due to assholes BEGGING for 'world bulding' that wasn't really necessary)#a fucking FIRST grader (who's crimes were definitely NOT as bad as Starlights) goes to Tartarus?#idk why people think everything needs a fully fleshed out world to exist in#maybe that was AtLA too... Except Avatar was SET UP to EXPLORE THE WORLD#shows like MLP:FiM were NOT set up for a world outside of Canterlot and Ponyville (and the one-off cities)#you dont need a fully realized world. you don't need explanations for everything!#Harry Potter ruined media too (except like... JKR also sucks ass and that sours HP but like)#idk#im rambling#i should write an essay and let it rot on my hard drive#i wish people would just accept that their favorite media isn't perfect#and I wish people would allow open discussions or criticisms without trying to fucking DOX people and threaten them#discussion can be fun!!!#it can be fun to dissect and analyze and defend media!#people are way too parasocial and overprotective of their favorite media#we need to be able to have discussions (This can be said about Real Life things but I DIGRESS)#im not fucking tagging this#bc I WILL get internet killed bc people are fucking nuts#*screaming*
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mars-ipan · 4 months ago
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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