#frustrates me to hell and back
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no more birthdays - sophie may
[canary continuity]
#rottmnt#canary continuity#q art#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt disaster twins#was ultimately a test of the csp camera tool. decided this: Hell#i probably would have gone back and fixed some of the bits that frustrated me#but oh my god you have no idea how much i suffered to even export this#NOT doing that again#same with some of the timing issues. i'll deal you'll deal#we'll all suffer together#sorry that some parts are scratchy btw i lost juice
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stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks
#dead leaf for leafpool and gull feathers for feathertail#like yeah it's funny that cherith does whatever the hell she wants as soon as she's in the driver's seat#but it's also baffling and frustrating that she wanted this in the first place#crowfeather or at least the version of him in my head is a fun and interesting character because he's shitty#in the newer books there's been a weird attitude toward him where the other characters think he's irritable but also noble and attractive#also tawnypelt is such a nothing character it's upsetting that all she's ever been is an accessory to the men around her#her father her brother her mate her son her grandson(s)#and her pov is no longer merely boring but actually insufferable thanks to her poorly handled “kids these days” plots#if it were up to me#the new prophecy would focus more on tawnypelt feeling out of place in shadowclan and struggling to prove her loyalty#contrasting brambleclaw who is generally accepted in thunderclan but victimizes himself due to his insecurity#i would also explore how tawnypelt and rowanclaw get together since he hates her in one scene and then they're lovey dovey in the next#although this does seem to be the basis of many warriors relationships#i'm not sure how i feel about tawnypelt getting a second mate as an elder but i don't want to begrudge old people finding love again#so i'm fine with it as long as it's not crowfeather#as for crowfeather#he would fall hard and fast for feathertail because she's pretty and shows him kindness but i want it to be one-sided#then he would fall hard and fast for leafpool for the same reasons#she runs away with him not because she loves him but because clan society is suffocating and she needs an escape#so when they get back to the clans she moves on pretty quickly but he lives a long and miserable life pining after her#his clanmates quietly avoid him because they don't like him that much because why would they and so he never becomes deputy#i can see him trying to reconnect with breezepelt and nightcloud as an elder#not necessarily because he realizes how shitty he is but because he wants a relationship with his granddaughters but it's strained#and then he dies! i'm tired of writing and being frustrated by these stupid books so i'm ending it here#crowfeather#warrior cats#eel art#eel talk
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“I told you, a very long time ago, that I would destroy this place, everything you hold dear, and I’m going to follow through on that promise,” Hels breathed in, “Because a knight never says something he doesn’t believe to be true."
Hey. You. Yeah you. Come here. Closer. Closer. Go read Like A House On Fire by @hiding-under-the-willow
#spazzcat doodles#helsknight#welsknight#fanfic propaganda#hiding-under-the-willow#If this looks weird as hell its because my brother in law is a saint and gave me his old screen tablet#never used one of these things before#its weird as hell to work with#i keep flipping between my laptop [shortcut keys] and the tablet to do things#was really tempted to switch back to my old bamboo tablet just for the quickness and familiarity#endless frustration at learning new tech aside: i love this fic go read it#go see what the drama is about#my art doesn't do it justice but give me a couple months to adjust and we'll... revisit this maybe
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hate hitting the point in doing a thing where you're 90% done but the last 10% is a wall because it's about refining everything you've done prior
tedious!!! don't want to!!!! someone take the last bit and make it pretty!!!!! and finished!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!
#stirring up trouble#wish i had money to get someone else to polish my shit...#the amt of almost-done-just-needs-refining shit i have sitting on the back burner is so frustrating#writing I'll probably never clean up bc realistically i need a proper editor to tell me whats not clicking#art that shouldve seen the light of day literal years ago buried in a wip folder. not *quite* done enough to send/post/etc#sitting down to handle my backlog and getting choice paralysis from the sheer amt of stuff i wanna finish so none of it gets done#and then just end up making a spreadsheet or to-do list i'll never reference again. or staring at tumblr. or laying in bed rotting.#literally sat down to do one thing the other day and instead made a spreadsheet that converts eorzean calendar dates to gregorian dates#and added a section for calculating character birth years based on their namedays and ages when ARR started#i had to stop taking half my adhd meds bc my blood pressure was out of control and correlated with severe pain. but the tradeoff is rough.#bc now my brain just. does not fucking do shit it WAS doing with those meds. but my blood pressure was BAD.#so my options are like. struggle to finish tasks. or have a heart attack/stroke (either bc of blood pressure or anxiety abt blood pressure).#the weather lately has also kinda been hell on my head and joints so im Extra not getting shit done. exhausting.
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one of the most liberating things about getting older is realising nothing really matters, and i don't mean that in a 'everything is pointless and futile' way, i mean that in a 'it's really not that deep, you'll be fine' kind of way. things feeling overwhelming and impossible is purely because you haven't developed the tools to deal with them yet, and in a couple of years you'll have those tools and look back and go 'oh what the hell, that was nowhere near as complicated as i thought it was'. and far from that feeling frustrating, it's liberating. it's a joy to know you're always learning and getting better and getting stronger and the path to where you are now has been paved with many mistakes but you survived them because honestly? none of those mistakes really mattered in the long run anyway, you got through them, and so you'll get through whatever comes your way next too
#i'm really feeling the 'i am almost 30' thing these days but in the best possible way#it really is never that deep#it feels like it at the time!!! but then you look back and it's like eh#i get frustrated with how i dealt with a certain mess 2 years ago but like#i had no other way of dealing with it bc i literally did not have the tools#the fact i HAVE the tools now is directly correlated to me going through that situation and coming out the other side#so instead of being frustrated#i'm like hell that's rlly cool i have grown and learned#idk man getting older kicks ass tbfh#the moment you stop being scared of it the more incredible you realise ageing actually is#sarah rambles
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sors for being The Hater again but oh my god i can't get how much they fucked up Antaboga out of my mind. Some of my critisism might be rich coming from someone who hasn't finished writing any story so far sure but the basic rules of introducing and building up the villain before the final showdown are so ELEMENTAL it's not a hot take to say they messed up.
And THEY KNOW THIS! THEY KNOW HOW TO WRITE A GOOD VILLAIN! THEY DID IT IN SEASON 1 WITH GAVINDA! They built her up as a villain beautifully! She gets introduced in one ep, she has a whole different episode where she plays a huge role and we get to see her in-person, and THEN she also gets mentioned on numerous ocassions, keeping her in our minds even when she's not around! And at some OTHER points they don't even need to mention her by name because Teach Tech = Gavinda, so eg. when we learn that they've been sending Flora their tech to convince her to use it we know that's a decision Gavinda signed off on, too! It's great! It builds suspense for how the final confrontation will happen! When we see her in the finale it feels rewarding and RIGHT! That's how you do it!
What you DON'T do is you don't introduce your main villain in ONE EP and then NOT MENTION THEM AT ALL until the VERY FINALE! IF SOMEONE MISSED ONE(1) EPISODE (which happens frequently with episodic shows you watch on TV) THEY WOULDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHO HE EVEN IS! This season has so many problems so I can't say I'm surprised but I can say that I'm baffled. How do you do shit like this how did it get approved
#hell how do you mess up your ANTAGONISTS this badly too#MAYBE if the ONLY ANTAG TEAM OF THE SEASON was given time and more background/lore and more serious episodes then it could soften the blow-#-of the villain sucking ass#but the blizzard bosses are a whole other can of worms.#this show is like a car crash to me it aggravates me it frustrates me i cant get over how much it fucked up but at the same time something-#-draws me in. i cant look away. or at least i keep looking back from time to time#droners#<- normally i wouldnt share a rant in the main tag like this but there's already not much happening. maybe someone will agree maybe someone#will have a counterargument. if you have something to say PLEASE do so i am BEING GENUINE AND SERIOUS
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Out here trying to just write a fun and slightly awkward first time but these goddamn men are suddenly out here giving themselves Revelations and Dramatic Moments and the best worst sex of both of their lives and I just
That is not what this is for
That is not what I wanted
But it’s good shit and I have nowhere else to put it and if I stop and go back what the hell else do I do instead?
#kabumisu#mithrun having whole ass revelations and his first desire in 40 years#(it’s for kabru to shut the fuck up and fuck him properly but no one gets in his own way worse than mithrun he doesn’t care what it is#he just wants to keep feeling the desire. satisfy it? noooooooo can’t do that gotta see if we can frustrate it and make it worse)#ugggggh i just wanted you to fuck nasty lads why is this a treatise now#they’ve been fucking for 9k and if you think they’ve gotten ANYWHERE nope#mithrun’s only just remembered ‘oh right the thing you do once you have a desire is satisfy it’#(also mithrun’s gonna chase kabru around to keep fucking his brains out in case the desire comes back but joke’s on him it’s not that easy)#they’re awkward they’re dreadful but if they do a good job he doesn’t want it to be better#also sudden and abrupt angst of mithrun realising he’s been saying ‘i’m fine’ for years and thinking he was satisfied with whatever#but nope my friend if you have no desires you cannot be satisfied you just didn’t remember what satisfaction was either#kabru x mithrun#it is. fighting me. but getting there.#and if it’s not fucking half way at LEAST at this point we riot#i’m not putting up with another 15k of this hell with the lads i am impatient
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aaaaa i'm really excited about these pride chibis, i hope everyone likes them :3c i'm always worried about how long my queue is, and if it takes me longer than june to finish these, but i really wanted to do them. hopefully people don't mind if they end up going into july to complete, but i also might just be over-worrying as usual and i'll get them done on time xD
#sorry sorry sorry my anxiety/depression has been really bad lately :C#really unpredictable too#i might have one day where i get a ton of shit done#and i'm like hell yeah we're back baby#and then 2 minutes later i'm crying and spiraling into the void#so i hope everyone can bear with me while i'm stilllll trying to get my brain right#anyway it all makes it hard to draw consistently#very frustrating >:C
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nothing like having seven years experience in doing that exact job and not even scoring an interview b/c im not "a top candidate" like. ok fuck i guess you were not looking for experience then
#its only been a day and a half. i am being impatient. but really honestly if i am not even offered an interview i am going to --#--be really REALLY puzzled. like??? how many applicants were there?????#????why was i not chosen for an interview??? i know my cover letter was sexy as hell. its GOOD. like. hello??????? iv been doing (redacted)#for almost a decade????????? hello??????#job application number uhhhhhmmmmmmm.probably over 100 now lol#pomodoriwhines#christ. ugh.#is it weird to hear back. not even to schedule an interview. just to ask if i am still available for the position? and then its been 48 hrs#and they havent contacted me to schedule an interview???#is that weird????? is that me being too impatient?? wtf?#i dont know but its confusing and frustrating and feels gross.#i hate this. i need the money. liiiike. aughhh
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twitter still sucks btw just wanted to let you guys know in case you forgot
#ITA Original#i wish i didn't need it for translations and concert clips for Stray Kids#everyone is mad at all times#everyone is mean#people that could probably get along talk over each other#and everyone airs their frustration in public and the meanest way possible#every ship/bias/duo has people who are stupid and ranchid#everyone has reasons to feel attacked daily because they are#and no one has muster the art of block the asshole and vent in private if you must vent otherwise shut the fuck up#it's hell#i refuse to get back into the tumblr skz fandom because it's just as bad#being reliant on twitter means that a good few number of the fans here are part twitter users and therefore part of the problem#nobody knows how to say wow this person kind of sucks/their opinion is kind of trash#and moving on#and some of the ones on tumblr have this percive air of me and my mutuals know these boys better then those people#which is a bonkers attitude to have about strangers you don't know#anyway sorry for the vent post#feel free to ignore it
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bc its been bouncing around in my head i think another little tiny grievance i had with totk is that i got to the end and just felt a sense of ‘well what the hell was that all for then’
#salty talks#like. ok. look at me. do you ever think abt how link loses an arm but absolutely nothing comes of it#it was basically just an excuse to give him powers and there was nothing actually done with yknow#him losing an arm. or how the light dragon thing didnt really have any long lasting consequences#and generally like. i had to think for a moment to remember why the hell she did that#what was her purpose in the past again???? what did she accomplish actually??? oh right the fucking sword#its like. i get to the end and like nothing has changed it all resets to zero it barely even feels lile a change#woth the other races pledging loyalty like the past (gags) bc barely anything abt hyrule changed between those two times#mineru leaves. she was a lot of wasted potential. nothing CHANGED it all just reset back to the status quo#no one learned anything i feel nothing new or interesting just oh hyrule is good :) it all feels so hollow#like you go on this big adventure and then at the end you dust yourself off and go back to doing basically#exactly what you were doing before that all happened like nothing happened. thats how it felt. what was the point#yeah sure new zonai stuff but that never sinks in its not important to the main narrative so it feels like nothing#it just. felt like there was no real point to the adventure except to affirm that yeah the past was perfect keep doing that#while none of the characters actions really have any lasting weight to them and they barely feel involved#i need to stop i can feel myself wanting to keep going lol. link losing his arm but the game not at all engaging with it is frustrating#totk salt#like to me it’s an issue bc its a long game with a lot to do but when you reach the end it just rings so fucking hollow#the main story/narrative equivalent to all those fucking collection items where the prize is a useless fucking token
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just found out my tl works have been put on a website with machine-translated content by one of the same ppl who reassured me not to quit translation because it was "irreplaceably human" during a crisis where i was left questioning the whole point of my efforts when those exact "works" got passed off as something with just as much artistic merit
#gu6chan's musings#oooooogh i could just throttle a bitch rn.......#like man!!! if it wasn't someone who had actually took so much care to assure me they meant anything so many times over i wouldn't feel thi#ANGRY but like. i sincerely hope this is some kind of oversight or something bc lmao what the hell#like theyre trash but theyre human. it stings enough having their value spit on to that extent where theyre seen as just as 'notable'#as literal machine content whose only human aspect was it getting prettied up by someone who doesnt even speak the language#like man i hate even having to come back to this because its SO frustrating but like. i dunno im just gonna ask them to take my works down#if translation done by a fucking machine is considered worthy of having that much space because im done. i hate it bc not to be overdramati#or anything but this shit makes me lose so much faith in fandom and people bc literally when did fandom stop being about human love and#effort and community and just about how to get content the quickest like i HATE IT here#honestly as much as i regret ever making them publically available im so fucking lucky to have some kind of... weight? under my belt bc#if i hadn't done the extent of works that i have with magnitude negative and 1.3 i really feel that my chances of getting through to these#idiots by telling them to just take my works off the site would be moot.#not because theyre made with love and care; or anything like that; obviously!!!#but because theyre 'useful'. like what can i even say anymore; call me naive but its just so goddamn discouraging#but sorry for the negativity!!! i just needed to get this off my chest; as soon as that person gets online and responds im just going to#tell them to take off my works and hopefully put this whole thing behind me for good. wish me luck!!! QwQ <3
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why do men feel the need to ruin my day
i was having a grand thursday morning. i'm in the middle of reading a 47 chapter fic that has my ass hooked
get a notification from a dude i've been hooking up with off and on for a few years now, had a bit of a falling out not 4 months ago, told him i was done with his back and forth of wanting me when he's horny then saying he's done and disappearing for a few months before coming right back bullshit
guess who's back spoiler alert it's not shady
#i'm so fucking frustrated#but i'm also weak and had feelings and it ended messy#so i may have accidentally opened that can of worms again by messaging back to accept his apology#fuckin hell wtf is wrong with me#katie talks#katie has bad taste in men more like#where do i get a return shipping label for bisexuality i'd like to trade it in for being a lesbian now please
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i think its been useful to identify that video games are enough of a distraction for me to regulate harder, like ive been doing better at being off the phone and avoiding doom scrolling and shit but i had to implement a more harsh time limit for video games lol
#to be fair it was easier to do bc the games i was rotating rn were frustrating the hell out of me#i cant beat anything higher than red in balatro and i get frustrated#vampire survivors is very repetitive#i should check on my sims tbh lol#or get back into elden ring and get the dlc#anyway still. not allowed to game between 1 pm & 11 pm#unless like i finish all my chores i ghess#GUESS* god
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like what even is the point of the adult timeline idgi being a thing. like yes it establishes even as middle aged adults they're still haunted by the wilderness & their consequences followed them but like. ????? that rly isn't given as much focus as it should be given. there's too much random other shit going on. there's too many outta nowhere things. esp w other survivors showing up just to fucking die one season later. none of the mysteries in the adult timeline feel worth it being there. the adult casting is Great, & i wish i could like it solely for that, but man. even when i start to like it, some decision is made that turns me right back off to it. :/
i stay for the teen timeline bc i rly feel like despite some minor, minor qualms, it's genuinely super well done & interesting. truly an incredibly gripping mystery that keeps me on the edge of my seat, & makes me gasp, but that i can easily follow bc all the beats Make Sense.
but bc of how good it is, im just like. man i rly wish Both timelines had that much care put into them instead of making me wonder why there's two timelines at all
#mine#yj#yellowjackets#yj spoilers#sorry for being so negative i genuinely rly enjoy this season For the teen timeline#but the adult timeline is just such a damn mess to me.#it's like they thought 'oh two timelines would be interesting.' & didn't have plans at all for the adult timeline past that.#the teen timeline has its issues dgmw but at least they knew how it starts & how it ends from the v beginning#we literally See where it ends up at the v first episode.#meanwhile the adult timeline is like. they probably all die ig. in between that ????????¿¿¿¿¿????#i rly feel like tai is the best example bc why Is Anything in her adult timeline a thing#she's married to another woman & running for senator in s1 & by s3#she's just not. either of those things. bc she's back w van but oh nvm bc van is fucking dead in the WORST death in the show#why wasn't she just w van at the start if crystal & sammy don't mean shit & her political career died#before she even got into office apparently#it's just !!!! FRUSTRATING honestly#im as mad as i am bc GOD the teen timeline is SO FUCKING GOOD. it's so gripping.#& then the adult timeline comes up & im just frustrated & upset bc it's NOT GOOD & STUPID & DISJOINTED AS HELL#im tired bro
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