#like I've actually got nothing to live for
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this way isn't the point, but as an (once) avid reader who dissociates: I read to Stop dissociating! various things in the world made me uncomfortable to the point of daily mental distress. and i was able to use books as semi-socially-aceaptable tools to keep myself alive long enough to get actual help. i was very lucky to live in a place and time that taught me to read and gave me access to new books. i love reading, it was my favorite way to keep form of not dissociating, got over 1000 accelerated reader points one school-year. i had to split the gift card reward with the person behind me, because she was also passing english and history, and i was doing nothing but reading and crying. as someone who has sense realized why i was reading. i get the impulse of the original. i do occasionally find things in my past that make me go "oh... so I've just been like this(tm) the whole time, i wish someone had told me." but, i agree it's unhelpful to prompt people to re-examine their past for things to pathologize. Exspecialy when there are so many other things we could Currently be working on. a better post might read: if you know a child who is obsessively instant on finding escapes from reality as much as possible, maybe check why they don't want to be in this reality? because the weirdest thing about realizing you were reading 200+pgs of text a day as a coping mechanism, is wondering how no-adults noticed or did anything.
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You can study me
Sero hanta smau
volley-ball player sero x art student fem!reader, no quirks au, college au.
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a/n before you go on! there's going to be more pictures throughout this part, so when you see the divider (yellow line), stop and go back to the reading part :)
Senior year is finally here! You thought that this time, the teachers would be more lenient with you and your classmates, but not at all. In fact, they even got stricter... They assigned you a half year-long work, which would be worth 30% of your final grade. What does the work consist of, you ask? Making a complete study of the life of a student you need to pick and paint it.
But... you can't pick a friend.
Part.5 • Part 7 (soon)
Part 6
Ever since he sent you that message you’ve been anxious of what he had in mind. You couldn’t stop thinking about it and hated that you had to wait the whole weekend for it. He hasn’t texted you since and your head was overflowing with scenarios.
“I think I'm going to go insane” you say groaning as you walk in the kitchen where the girls were cooking together.
“It’s going to be fine you drama queen. It’s not the first time you hang out without any plans” Himiko says while chopping vegetables.
You cross your arms and lean on the doorframe. “But it feels like it's more than this, he hasn’t even texted me since” you retort.
Throwing your head back with another groan, you approach the counter and take a piece of cut cucumber.
“Listen, it’s Hanta okay. There’s nothing to worry about” Mina comes up to you and puts her hand on your shoulders. “So stop your drama, and we’ll soon clear your mind with our little girl time mmh” she tilts her head with a reassuring smile.
You sigh and laugh. “You’re right, now that I admitted that I liked him, I've been overthinking every small thing he does…”
“So you do still have some sense left in you” Ochaco turns to you both with a smirk.
“Oh shut up” you roll your eyes. “Now what do you need help with” you ask, rolling your sleeves up.
You and the girls were now having a little party every weekend when you didn't have anything else planned. You cooked and baked together, chose a movie to watch while sipping a glass of wine. Pretty cliché yes, but don’t clichés always end up being the best.
At the end of the night, you all go back to your rooms and as you lay down on your bed slightly tipsy, you grab your phone and open your discussion with Hanta and just type.
You
made me anxious whole weekend dumbass
You woke up the next day thankful classes were canceled today, so you could prepare yourself mentally before 6pm came. You were of course excited to spend the evening with him but you just had that weird gut feeling that something was going to happen.
As you slowly got ready, showering, finding a simple and comfortable but still cute outfit, you were left sitting on the couch. It was only 3pm and you decided to draw some composition ideas for the painting.
”What are you working on?” Ochaco walks in with two cups of hot chocolate, handing one to you. You smile and thank her, sipping on the warm drink.
”Trying out some composition for the painting. Pinpointing where everything is going to be you know”
“It’s ending soon right?” she asks, seating next to you.
“Actually, our teacher realized she may have been too hard on us and gave us the whole year.” you chuckle.
“Wait what— How come I didn't hear about this?!” she straightened herself.
“She sent us an email quite late in the night. Some sense got knocked in her head at 2am I guess” you laugh.
”That’s great! More time with Hanta” she elbows you and chuckles.
”Stop…” you say shyly, hiding your face with your hand.
—
“Do I look good?” you ask worriedly as you show off your outfit.
”For the hundredth time… Yes you look great” all three of your friends sigh dramatically.
You’ve been running around between your room, the bathroom and the living room to make sure you were looking good. You knew it had to be a simple hang out but couldn’t help the amount of stress you had inside you. And before you knew it, the sound of the doorbell echoed in your apartment and the girls immediately went into hiding.
You shook your head at their silliness and went to open the door thinking to yourself. This is Hanta, it’s going to be fine, nothing is happening.
As you open the door, you see him standing there with a smirk on his face but you could see the crease between his eyebrows, indicating he was nervous. He looks you up and down and you can see him gulp before taking a breath.
“Ready to go?”
“Been waiting forever” you walk out the door and roll your eyes teasingly and he guides you down to his car. Once you get there, he opens the door for you.
”What a gentleman we have there” you tease.
”You doubted it?”
”Never”
After a few minutes he parked his car in front of a quite big building.There was no indicative sign of what the building was, it only had two wide doors in the front. He gets out first and helps you out of the car.
”So what are we doing?”
”You’re so impatient, wait a few more seconds” he ruffles your hair.
”Well if you had texted me, maybe i wouldn’t be so lost. “your words come out a bit more bitter than you wanted to.
You walk through the reception with him and he grabs your hand and asks you to close your eyes.
”Hanta seriously…”
“Come on, hermosa just a few more seconds.” he pouts and you couldn’t resist.
Guiding you through a corridor, he opens the door and you can feel the breeze hitting you again in the face. He stops and walks behind you.
“You can open your eyes now”
You take a deep breath and open your eyes. You are greeted by an empty ice skating rink. No one, absolutely no one was here. Small lights were hanging all around the rink, you could hear a song quietly in the background that you recognise to be Just like Heaven by The Cure.
You turn your head to Hanta, mouth agape. You had no idea what to say, did he set everything up himself. Did he ask to privatize the whole ice rink for you two?
”Hanta this…this is absolutely crazy. Did— did you do that all by yourself?” you ask.
”Well I’ve had help but it was my idea yeah…” he rubs his neck nervously. “You like it?”
“Like it? Hanta I love it! This is incredible” you ran to his arms hugging him. He’s taken back but hugs you back almost instantly.
After breaking the embrace, he grabs your hand again.
“Shall we?”
“We shall.”
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You don’t think you’ve ever had that much fun before. This was truly like something out of a movie. You and Hanta were both skating for god knows how long, dancing along to the playlist he had made for the occasion and you couldn’t help but fall even more for the boy.
How could you not honestly. He’s all you had ever dreamed of and he keeps showing you that everyday. As you hold hands you can’t help but have a constant smile on your face.
Hanta kept glancing at you and his eyes softened anytime you looked at him with that sparkle in your eyes or with that pretty smile of yours. He keeps going back to the day you first met and how everything had evolved between the two of you ever since.
All thanks to that assignment you had been given. He never felt luckier than right now.
He spins you around just to hear that laugh he wishes to hear for the rest of his life. And as you continued to skate around, he let go of your hand and you slid away, without realizing he wasn’t by your side anymore.
The lights suddenly shut off but came back a second later, less bright this time. As you turn around, you see Hanta a bit further away from you and the song changes.
Can’t Take My Eyes of You by Frankie Valli begins playing at a low volume and you hide your face in your hands trying to hold in your chuckle and the warmth that was spreading to your cheeks. Surely this wasn’t real right, you had to be dreaming.
When you look back up, Hanta was right in front of you. A dorky smile is present on his face as he holds a bouquet of flowers tightly in his hands.
You can’t help the wobbly smile that spreads across your face as you both stare at each other before Hanta begins talking.
“First of all I’m sorry for not texting you at all this weekend. I may have been as nervous as you and maybe even more because I wanted everything to be perfect.” He chuckles and you continue smiling at him.
”Fuck..uh” he struggled to find words when you looked at him like that.
“I don’t think I can hide how I feel anymore. Ever since we first met, you’ve been the only thing on my mind and I only wanted to get to know you more. The more time we spent together, the more this feeling grew.” he looks down before looking back up.
”You brighten up every single one of my days and…” he stops for a moment but you continue looking at him adoringly. Heart beating fast you think it might get out of your chest. It seems like time had stopped before he continued.
”I love you y/n… Te amo querida.”
You feel your eyes getting wet so you take your hand to wipe them away but you suddenly feel Hanta’s hand caress your cheek and wipe a falling tear with his thumb.
”You okay?” he asks worried.
You nod reassuringly. “Never been more okay.”
”I love you too Hanta” you respond back through a half chuckle and sob.
He softly puts down the bouquet before wrapping his arms around your waist, taking you off the ground and spinning you around. Surprising you as he still had his ice skates on. He puts you back on the ground and asks.
”Can I kiss you?”
”Of course you idiot”
I love you baby and if it’s quite alright I need you baby…
His hands held both of your cheeks tenderly before he plants his lips on yours. You were quick to wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer to you. One of his hands slowly moved to wrap itself around your waist. Your mouths moving slowly in a perfect tender rhythm. He couldn’t pull away, you were too sweet for that. And as you moved your hands into his hair he felt like he was in heaven. You pulled away for a second to breathe and chuckle at your flushed faces before his lips found their way back to yours. Snow was falling all around you and as the slow kisses turned fast you both got lost in the moment.
His lips finally parted from yours after a while. Panting and heavy breaths were all you were hearing as you looked at each other.
“Does that mean I’m yours mi amor” he breaks the silence.
“What do you think…”
”I don’t know, maybe it was just a friendly kiss.” he jokes.
”Oh you’re such an idiot. I hate you”
”You know you love me” he grins, pulling you closer if that was even possible.
“Yes. Yes I do”
—
After that, he wanted to immortalize this day. So Hanta brought you to the nearest photo booth and had you both take the cutest pictures ever.
“Come on this is going to be fun” he urges you.
You take off your coats and begin posing. You laugh and make the silliest faces. Bringing his face to yours, you pepper his cheek with kisses.
He drives you back to the apartment and both of you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. You were still in his car, the only difference was that you were now sitting on his lap. The kisses grew deeper and he couldn’t let go of you. He became obsessed the moment he had a taste of you. You tug slightly at his hair as you feel him bite your bottom lip before going back to kiss your already swollen lips.
“Hanta…” you whisper when you pull back from him.
”Yes mi vida…” He places soft kisses at the nape of your neck, eyes not leaving yours.
“It’s getting late. I should go” you caress his cheek.
”Already…what time is it?” He reaches for his phone and reads the time. 11:05pm.
Hanta groans and settles his head on your chest as you begin playing with his hair. Staying in that position for a few more minutes before you plant a small kiss on his head and get back to the passenger seat. You put your coat back on and hear Hanta open his door. You get ready to get out with the bouquet in your hands but he beats you to it and opens your door before bending down and wrapping his arms behind your back and knees.
”Hanta, what are you—“ you make a small noise as he slightly adjusts you on his arms. He closes the car door with his legs and locks it.
“Up you go” he smiles down at you and you roll your eyes.
He takes you up the stairs and to your front door. He sets you down and you search for your keys.
“Thank you for today Hanta” you say, opening the door quietly.
You set the bouquet on the table before turning back to him.
”I’ll see you soon” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and plant a sweet kiss on his lips one last time.
“Dream of me amor” he winks at you and steals another kiss before making his way to the stairs. You begin to turn around but stop yourself in your tracks when you see him kissing his hand and sending the “kiss” to you.
You chuckle quietly and mimic grabbing the kiss and planting it on your cheek and watch him smile like a little kid. Only then you truly go back to your apartment and close the door with a smile on your face.
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a/n i finished this at 2 am...i'm going to sleep hope you enjoy this longer part!
#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#sero hanta x reader#sero x reader#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#mina ashido#denki kaminari#mha smau#bnha smau#ochaco uraraka#toga himiko#kirishima eijirou#mha x reader
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"You fucking kidding me right now?!" Adam yelled, dropping his bags, though his guitar case stayed firmly in hand.
Across the front of his van, someone had painted the word, CHEATER, and that was just the first offense he'd noticed. They'd keyed up the paint job, which was a super fucking awesome duochrome that shifted from gold to orange to purple - fucking ruined now. On the side were a litany of worse insults, saying he had a small dick, that he was a man whore, that he was a shitty musician.
He knew who'd done it, and he wasn't even fucking dating the bitch. She was just a groupie he'd fucked a few times on the road; yeah, he'd fucked a few other girls, so what?
"I'm so going to take you to court, you stupid cunt." Adam hissed to himself, getting in the driver's side. But, the van wouldn't start at all. It wouldn't even try to turn over. It just did nothing. She must have fucked with the engine too.
Which left Adam standing on the sidewalk, fuming, as he waited for an Uber to show up. He didn't even fucking live here! He was just on tour! People all over wanted to hear him play, or they would after they heard him at least!
An unremarkable car pulled up along side him, and the passenger window rolled down, and a blond man in the driver's seat leaned over to smile up at him. "Need some h-"
"Fucking finally!" Adam complained, getting a startled look in return. "I've been waiting for you for like twenty goddamn minutes." Adam waved his Uber app at the man, and told him the code.
"Please, get in. I'm Lucky, by the way." The man said with a wide smile. "I have water in the back, if you'd like."
Adam was still fuming, but he tossed his stuff in the back seat, grabbing out a water bottle and jumping into the passenger seat. Yeah, he knew ubers didn't like that, but he didn't do back seats. He was always in front.
He chugged the water, and crushed the bottle, before tossing it out the window.
"Charming," Lucky said, in not so subtle distaste.
"Fuck you, you don't know the night I've had. Some cunt ruined my van, my gig went shitty, cus the bar was like, no you're supposed to pay me. Like shit I'm doing that. Fucking pussies. Chick run, obviously. Can't do anything right." Adam huffed, reaching down to adjust the seat, pushing himself back and getting a bit more leg room. "So suck a dick and just take me to my hotel, shorty."
"Sure," Lucky said, barely even blinking at the insults.
Adam closed his eyes, and began to feel increasingly drowsy. Well, he'd had a long night. "Wake me up when we get there," he mumbled, before sleep took him.
Adam woke up to a not so gentle slap across the face. He startled upwards, eyes wide, finding himself unable to move. He was restrained, cuffs around his hands and legs, and he was entirely nude.
"W...what the fuck? Where am I?" Adam whispered, horror setting in. He'd woken up with some hard 4s before, after getting drunk, but nothing like this.
"Morning," a voice called, and Adam looked up to find the cabby sitting beside him, smiling brightly.
"...Lucky?" Adam asked in confusion.
"Oh, my name is actually Sam, but the news calls me Lucifer." He reached down, caressing Adam's cheek with heavy lidded eyes, not caring that Adam tried to jerk back and away from him.
"I'm a serial killer, sweetheart. And from what I can see, no one particularly likes you, your girlfriend dumped you, your car was ruined, your band is a joke... It would make sense that you'd just...go missing? Wouldn't it?"
Adam's blood went cold, horror began to set in, even though he wanted to scream and shout and curse the man. He tried pulling on his cuffs, but nothing budged. His attention was drawn back to Lucifer as he pulled out a very sharp looking ritualistic knife.
"W- wait, wait! I can...I can help you!" Adam got out, and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I can help you! I don't like people either! So, I'm not going to say anything about this, you know, I could even tell you about...I don't know, people alone in bars and shit!" Adam tried to persuade him, but he knew it sounded more like begging. "I can...I can be useful, I promise."
Lucifer hummed to himself, appraising him. "You'll be a good boy for me?"
Adam swallowed hard, nodding his head. For some stupid fucking reason, he started to get slightly hard from that.
"Maybe I'll think about it," Lucifer said, but Adam's relief didn't last. "But I can't have you getting away in the meantime. I need to clip your wings."
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i'd like to say sth abt the x gender marker thing. i've just started getting the paperwork done for it myself, and although its an exhausting grueling bureaucratic pricess, it's filling me w the kind of joy i last felt when i got my first hrt prescription. i know i will have constant difficulties in a system of institutions that have no official way of dealing w nonbinary identities, and i fully expect the openly white nationalist party in my country to become a significant influence in national government within the next 10 years. i also have an escape plan of sorts, but i'm fully expecting that i may be legally detransitioned again. i would still be betraying myself fundamentally and stealing joy from myself, something that i get to have very little of, if i didn't do it anyway, bc i already cannot access plenty of services including healthcare bc i'm simply too dysphoric and institutionally traumatized to show up and be misgendered. there is no such thing as stealth or passing for a nonbinary person in the society i live in, only erasure; i might as well exercise this tiny amount of power i have been given for a brief time to force them to acknowledge me as who i am. i agree that having one's gender be irrelevant to one's personhood, including legally, would be vastly preferable, but i don't see how me getting an x in my id detracts from or otherwise influences that. my government already has plenty of ways of getting lists of trans ppl if they ever want one. i may be painting a target on my back, but as far as i am concerned, it is already there bc i am already incredibly vulnerable and restricted as a trans person for whom passing or stealth is not an option. i might as well get marginalized for who and what i am and make them look me in the eye at a doctor's office while they awkwardly tell me they don't have the infrastructure to process me as a patient than cringe and stammer while i tell them that actually i'm transgender and i would prefer for them to address me as this or that while knowing damn well they just see me as a quirky woman that they may or may not humor for hashtag diversity's sake. they may still do that ofc, but for all the risks and trouble i am incurring, it also corrects the scales of institutional power just a tiny bit in my favor by giving me legal grounds to argue. i'm also terrified of the police for good reasons, but i'm more terrified of them as a misgendered and scared but not out trans person unsure if and how much to advocate for myself than i am as someone confident enough to at least get hurt for who i am, rather than for who i am not and hiding out of fear of worse punishment. i am not advocating for anyone else to do or not do the same bc it is a subjective and highly varied set of risks and rewards that must be personally evaluated, and above all i'm very aware that as a white (not us) person, for all the institutional violence i have previously endured, i would be risking far worse if i were not, but as far as i am concerned, it feels like one of the best, most powerful things i can do for myself right now is to get the damn papers even if in the worst case they end up taking them away from me again.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I remember that when I was nonbinary and not medically transitioning, I felt much the same way. I was ready to really throw myself on the pyre for the sake of just actually being seen as not the gender I had been forced to be, for once. And honestly? Nothing short of medical transition did that. All the changes to my personal style, hair, comportment, voice training, the pronoun pins, the asserting myself, the putting pronouns in my email signature, the changing my medical forms and documentation at work to make me nonbinary, none of it made what felt like any lick of difference in how i was treated, because nonbinary identities are so thoroughly erased. The ONLY thing that got people to start treating me as gender ambiguous or to they/them me was to begin to transition as a trans man and use he/him pronouns, lol. (And eventually, most people did switch over to actually gendering me correctly as a guy, tho I still do get the they/them once in a while which annoys me and it's always VERY telling who tends to do it).
I don't know your situation or if you have medically transitioned in any fashion or not, or if you even want to, and our stories are different, but all of which is to say, I know how immensely frustrating it is and how confining it is to interpreted as your assigned gender seemingly no matter what you fucking do, and that sensation of being willing to take on serious risk to be seen. if anything that was part of what tipped me over into self conceptualizing as a gender nonconforming man rather than outside the binary altogether. different risks that i chose to take on, but still, the decision to take on risk rather than be locked away inside how people saw me.
I think structural nonbinary erasure runs so deep that very few individual level actions can make a dent in it and it's maddening. Of course there's all the intersections with transmisogyny that also impact who is visible as trans and who is not and who finds themselves yearning for greater visibility and those for whom visibility is nothing but massive vulnerability that itself cannot be escaped. But I understand that you've considered everything carefully and are aware of the risks in what you're taking on, and I hope that it does mean you don't feel that confined unseen feeling anymore. Because as much as I'm qualifying things I do know how fucking awful that sensation is and how few avenues there are for doing a damn thing about it that people will take seriously.
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Read Me to Sleep, Let Me Drift Away
Kidnapper!König is a monster but I love him. I love how evil he is, I love how intelligent he is, I love I love I love. He's perfect. I adore him. Now, about this fic, I've read both Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea. If you've ever read Jane Eyre, read Wide Sargasso Sea with caution. It completely changes the novel.
Anyways, have fun with Kidnapper!König!
Tws: kidnapping, toxic relationships, stockholm syndrome
Wordcount: 1.6k
Art from This Post
Story Below the Cut
Read Me to Sleep, Let Me Drift Away
You’d never seen König so frantic before. Your calm, collected and menacing… fiance (?) was hurriedly puttering around the house, moving ornaments aside to dust under them before hurrying back to pick up the vacuum and go over the room again. If his anxiety weren’t so infectious, you might have thought the scene to be rather amusing.
“König, you already vacuumed this room three times,” you nervously whispered.
“But what if there’s still some left?” he muttered under his breath as he went over the persian carpet once more, “it needs to be clean.”
“Isn’t it clean enough?” you asked as you shifted from side to side, over and over as you watched him fret over nothing.
König turned off the vacuum and cracked his back with a good stretch, “It won’t ever be clean enough. Not for Mama…”
“Is your mom really going to be that upset?” you stepped aside to let him crouch down and dust the outlets.
König paused, considered your words for a moment, then turned back to cleaning and said, “She won’t. But I don’t want to be the messiest one of us. I want to at least be as good as Klara.”
“Klara?”
“My youngest sister,” König explained, “Friedrich is the eldest, than Stephen and Lisa. I was the fourth born, and Klara was the last.”
“Sounds like a full house,” you mused.
König laughed as he walked out to the kitchen, “It was! It was always busy. Stephen used to like doing ‘science experiments’ and Friedrich got into a heavy metal band. Mama used to say she’d go deaf before she hit menopause.”
“What did your dad think about it?” you leaned against the doorway.
König glanced at you briefly, “Papa’s opinions didn’t matter very much.”
You watched him silently. He wiped down the polished rosewood table again and again, ignoring the heavy questions that hung heavy on the tip of your tongue.
“So,” you grunted as you pushed off the doorway to step to König’s side, “are they coming soon?”
“Tomorrow,” König grunted as he worked a stubborn spot, “I’m cleaning today so I won’t have to do much tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to help?” you asked as you glanced over to the spotless kitchen.
König shook his head, “No, I can do this. You just relax. There’s some good books in the living room.”
You nodded and padded away. You walked through the sprawling manor before you managed to find the living room. The entire room was wallpapered in bookshelves, each one nearly scraping the top of the tall ceilings. You walked to the nearest shelf and looked at the ancient tomes. Books of old, some with spines cracked like white crested waves and others with leather bindings that had been peeled off through the ages. When you pulled some out as carefully as you could, you’d find their covers in different language.s You saw some in German, of course, but others were in Spanish, French, Italian too. You came across a couple that looked like they were written in latin. Some had strange writings in sitting curiously on the pages that looked like Cyrilic, others looking like kangi or hanzi, you couldn’t tell. You wondered if König could actually read all these books. By the plentiful appearances of bookmarks and dog ears, maybe he could. You might have suspected they were for show had you not seen the notes in German in the margins. They all had the same handwriting, all matching your König’s carefully crafted calligraphy.
You managed to find a book in English that you could take over to the window bench to curl up into the bohemian pillows and blankets. You managed to find a lightswitch overhead to provide a warm light to read by, a stark contrast to the cool, drizzly weather outside. You liked the rain sometimes, but you noted that your energy was always a bit low when it came by. You hated to admit it, but you’d missed the sun.
Lately, König had been lax about putting you in the basement. He’d only just let you have free reign of the home the other day, actually. You hoped it was because he was in a merciful mood, but knowing König everything was carefully crafted. It always was, wasn’t it? He always had plans, always carefully crafting his web to keep his puppets strung along to his desires. You were just another doll in his hands, carved from wood to his shape of perfection. You only hoped he saw to it that a smile was drawn on your face by the end.
You tucked a stray bookmark into the bindings of your book and looked out the window. You’d never actually seen the front of the house. You had seen the back, seen his sprawling gardens and his great shed on the back corner of the property, hidden behind some straggly pines like some perching cat. You’d asked to see it once, but König had refused you flatly. He said it was best to stay in the gardens, stay where it was comfortable and safe. What would you want with an old workshed, anyways? You had glanced over his shoulder at the dilapidated building. A part of you wondered if you stared long enough into the dark windows, would you see something staring back? You looked away as soon as the thought crossed your mind.
Sitting on the window bench, it was perfectly comfortable and warm inside. König kept the fireplace running now that autumn had crept over the land. You watched the yellow and orange leaves flutter in the light wind outside before flowing away in the wind. In the distance, a great red maple tree curled over one side of the driveway, hiding the rest of the route from view. You wondered how long it was, how far back it stretched. If you followed it, how long would it take until you found some other traveller? How long until you found another home? Something told you that anyone you came across out here would have different intentions than König. You suspected far, far worse.
You put the bok in your lap and sighed. It had been so long since you’d lived your old life. A part of you wondered if your parents ever called after you. Your friends certainly didn’t notice your absences. In fact, the person who cared most was probably your boss, furious that you’d up and left without a word. You could imagine her snapping and snarling into your voicemail only to slam down the phone and wonder what had happened to their faithful employee. You knew that despite how cruel and heartless your boss could seem, they approved of you and valued you in your position. You wondered if they ever hoped you were alright, wherever you went.
You heard heavy footsteps before you saw König turning around the doorway. He clucked his tongue as he swaggered over to your side.
“I told you to go to the living room, not the library,” König hummed.
“This isn’t the living room?” you asked.
“No,” König shook his head, “the living room is on the other side of the hall.”
“The one with the fireplace?” you asked.
König nodded and put a hand on your shoulder. He peered down at your lap and nodded approvingly, “I didn’t take you for much of a reader.”
“Well, there’s not much else to do,” you explained as you turned the cover from his sight.
“Why did you choose this book?” he asked as he plucked it from your reluctant fingers.
“I heard it’s a good sequel,” you said nervously.
König fluttered through the paperback pages with an amused chuff, “Not an official sequel. Charlotte Bronte was dead for over a hundred years before Jean Rhys published this.”
You watched him smile as he flicked through the book.
“I didn’t know it was that long,” you admitted.
“It’s an interesting book, this one,” König mused, “you got a decent ways in. What are your thoughts about the moths?”
“The moths?” you asked.
“The moths and the flame,” König repeated, “it’s a symbol that repeats throughout the novel.”
You rubbed your forefinger and thumb together over the hem of your sleeve, “I liked it. Two lovers fated to be, but by being together it ends in mutual destruction.”
“Is it mutual?” König raised an eyebrow behind his hood, “Mr. Rochester goes on to live a good life with Jane Eyre, doesn’t he?”
“I…” you thinned your lips to a line, “he did, didn’t he.”
“I’dHe was harmed, no doubt, but do you really think that Mr. Rochester was as ruined as his late wife? I’d argue otherwise,” König flicked the book shut, “fire is a prominent symbol in and of itself. Fitting considering her end, isn’t it?”
You shivered, “I try not to think about that too much.”
“But you must, my dear,” König crooned, “the end is what makes the novel a tragedy, don’t you think?”
You turned to look up into König’s eyes. He stared back, unwavering in his declarations towards you. He tilted his head to the side, glanced at the book one final time, the tossed it back into your lap.
“It’s a beautiful book,” he said as he turned to leave the room, “I think you’ll like it.”
“Do you?” you asked as he turned to leave.
He looked back at you. His eyes crinkled mirthfully briefly, “I think you will.”
When König left, you put the book to your side and shivered. You didn’t think you would be finishing this one.
Konig Dump
Alternate Universes
#konig#cod konig#konig cod#konig call of duty#konig mw2#konig x reader#konig x you#konig fluff#konig fanart#fan art#digital art#cod mw2#cod#cod mwii#cod x reader#call of duty#modern warfare#konig fanfiction#konig headcanons#cod headcanons#konig hcs#konig fanfic#konig childhood#konig relationship#konig shenanigans#konig art#konig au#yandere konig#yandere#kidnapper konig
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I may have lost all hope
#it's a weird feeling?#like since late 2022 it's been kind of like. bad vibes consistently#and i tried to stay somewhat positive throughout it#but idk there's this very distinct feeling now of like. i can't describe it but it's completely gone#like I've actually got nothing to live for#nothing I've done or wanted to do since i was 14 has ever really like amounted to anything#all the friends i made i never feel like i can talk to#once again in that state of 'only alive so my family don't get sad'#like even when i wanted to just stop existing when i was 21 there was this tiny bit of hope still there a little bit#like i remember for that whole summer i kept getting quick thoughts about suicide but I'd always push them out of my mind instantly#but there was one day where i let the thought stay in my mind for a little bit and like properly considered how i would do it#and then after a bit i was like FUCK and then went and walked like an hour away from my house to try and forget it#and then after that day i slowly got better. and it was annoying bc it meant now i had to walk a whole hour back to my house#but even if those 2 months there was still this feeling of this isn't gonna last#bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to#and all the other times I've been in that state there was still this sort of feeling that it'll get better bc I've got things to get me#through it#but it doesn't feel like that now. like no job no friends no hyperfixation and now i can't even enjoy any music#anything i create is pointless bc only i care about it#all my friends are busy doing other stuff I'm like not even second best I'm the most forgettable person anyone might know#the only thing that would fix me is getting a random train to like some place I've never been#just to see a new thing i guess#but anyway#ramble#suicide mention
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#sars cov 2#covid 19#i've interacted with 4 different friends/acquaintances in the past month alone who have all been hospitalised after having a stroke#(and in one case multiple strokes)#one who i visited in hospital over the weekend had a (unmasked) nurse coughing up a lung in her room 👍#and one of them who had to undergo surgery also had to be moved to a different hospital#bc the ward they were keeping him in was full of confirmed covid patients 👍👍#idk how many times it needs to be said before it gets through people's heads but VACCINES ARE NOT ENOUGH#and encouraging ppl to rely solely on them when there are already plans to jack up the prices so you have to KEEP PAYING for boosters#for an ONGOING mass-disabling event is so laughably unrealistic and absurd and flat-out demonic#you need to mitigate the actual spread of covid by WEARING A MASK + fighting for CLEAN AIR/proper ventilation in public spaces!!!!!!#ppl are so eager to forget the whole 'break the chain of transmission' thing and how effective masking is and so this is where we're at#'i got infected and infected other ppl who might die or become permanently disabled but it's no big deal bc no one else wears a mask#so if /i/ didn't infect them someone else would have anyway so it's not my fault and really its got nothing to do with me and my choices'#if everyone is responsible then no one is responsible - that's how it works right?#it's no wonder some ppl go rabid at even the sight of someone wearing a mask and minding their own business#ppl seeking treatment for unrelated conditions/illnesses and then dying from covid caught in hospitals#due to lack of npis/basic mitigation measures - no regulations no accountability#we truly live in a hell (''new normal'') of our own making#anyway none of this is new news at all i mostly thought it might be good to share the info graphic abt signs of stroke#covid has been given free reign and chances are increasing as to how likely you'll encounter it happening to someone you know at some point#also heart attacks and pots and alzheimer's etc etc etc
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HELPPP IM CRYING ACTUALLY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THEM???? HONORED TBH????? I love these silly little guys SO much I'm losing my mind over here that u like them enough to write smthn so long ab it, omg don't look at me rn I'm crying
I never thought too much ab Haruka's voice before but tbh now what u described it that way that's just the Official Haruka Voice Take (tm) actually, that is how she sounds now
"I've got nothing better to do, I think she's funny and I want to reinforce her bad habits <3" is so fucking funny and so fucking accurate, this is exactly what is happening in the twins minds actually.
In my notes for their personalities in my notesapp, I just wrote "They're genuinley just the fucking WORST to deal with. Their "I'm going to cause problems on purpose" dials got cranked up to 10 and got stuck that way at birth" which I think sums it up nicely.
I've been writing silly small stuff for them lately to hoard jealously in my notesapp and I think Haru has a genuine mean streak while Hiro is a lot more bark than bite— but also Haru looks and talks a bit gentler while Hiro acts and sounds rougher, so they often give off the opposite impressions. Don't worry Hiro, your brother will do what you aren't strong enough to (crime)
There's all sorts of fun layers to it too, like, considering they're from a clan who tries to shelter it's children— but they're also from the infamously bloody warring states period, who had to bring up their children much quicker and rougher than modern. I think Hiro would have made a wonderful modern day shinobi while Haru is a good example of the inherent violence of the warring states, just buried under good cheer and playfulness. Mmmm phycology,,,
I love their little trio with Shiruka, they are besties and she's also their first real friend their age, while she's kind of but not quite an outcast in her own clan due to her parents poor standing. She's older sibling coded and so tired of their shit but also quietly, perpetually amused by it, which is probably part of why she sticks around. That, plus their clear undying loyalty towards anything and anyone considered "theirs"— a list she's made it on and does her best to reply in kind
They are holding hands and will continue to hold hands together till they inevitably die at ~19 for the good of the village, yippie !!!
At least they'll get to live on in the memory of Hiname,,
Just kidding she dies like 3 years later, whoops!
BUT YEAH THEM !!! I love them so much, I had way too much fun thinking ab just the ecosystem for young shinobi in early konoha.
I have so many more thoughts ab it all tbh, theres no doubt tons of things happening as so many different people and clans settle in to a new normal but I ofc have my focus
I think I accidentally created some sort of little mystery/conflict with my silly meme of Shiruka going "he wants to order break into my clan heirs house" while also stating that she and her family aren't currently in good standing with the Nara main family.
I wasn't thinking ab it too hard when I drew it but now I'm sat over here like "girl why are you helping Haru break into your clan heirs home when you're already most likley on their (or at least their parents) shit list?? Who is the clan heir and why does Haru want to break into their house?? What drama is this??"
I'll probably think harder about it later, I feel like there's potential there
I need to stop thinking so hard ab potential early konoha narrative things bc I refuse to be consumed by it and know I very much will give in to The Voices if I continue
I say that but I'm absoloutley going to continue to think ab them. Actually.
Ough,,, Wolves of the Woods my beloved,,, one day I'll write u,,, one day,,
That said I'm also enamored with Tetsuo as clan heir (someone get him out of there!!!) He's great at it but also really, really does not want the position.
I think when he was younger and Tobirama was visiting the clan, he point blank begged him to take the position— But Tobirama said no, he's a Senju through and through and he's proud to be second to his Anija. A week later, and Tetsuo officially got the title (and maybe cried about it but only just a little and only on the inside)
(Tetsuo is still nursing a tiny grudge over this, though it's lessened slightly since Sakumo's birth)
POV he's in an especially bitchy mood and Tobirama asks him something and he just kind of grumbles, "oh, I'm sorry, are you my clan heir?"
Queue ??????? from like half of those present
He's so cute tho I think he has my favorite design of all of them. He dresses the fanciest for sure— Haruka totally owns similar things (I think the half and half haori is super cute and I want it to be a clan staple) but only wears it on occasions where she needs to, while he's more traditional/conscious of himself and his position, so he dresses like that all the time. He's probably the guy they send to the capital whenever it's necessary and the clan heads presence isn't needed
Random early konoha oc fun fact no one asked for: I have a vague messy fic idea from months ago now that basically amounts to "the Hatake's die before Madara defects to the village, and Kabuto, in practicing Orochimaru's edo tensei in preparation for the final battle, revives them— then manages to lose them in transport before they wake up. Not knowing any better, they flock to Madara to help in his fight"
I love time travel I love drama I love horrible misunderstandings and family/clan drama !!!!!
Uhh take some notes from that:
ANYWAYS THANKS SO MUCH IM SO GLAD U LIKE THEM SORRY FOR MY WORD VOMIT I JUST GET SO EXCITED AB THEM I COULD EXPLODE WITH IT ACTUALLY
Silly, early Konoha lore and oc things drawn while thinking about this post
!!! early konoha my beloved !!! I have so many thoughts ab it, I want to write a fic that's just silly early Konoha things viewed from the perspective of the less important clan members and their everyday lives. I'm aware the audience for that is incredibly small but I have too much fun just thinking ab it to really care!
Ichigo remains the only naruto oc Ive ever actually written for (in one step three steps), tho Haruka has been mentioned in multiple fics of mine now just bc she fills the role of Tobirama + Hashirama's blood aunt that I needed to be filled in my "Kakashi interacts with Tobirama w the knowledge that they are directly related" fics, of which there are now multiple
but yeah, take some silly art and lore comics !! I had fun while making these and will now probably put all these ocs on a shelf where I will not touch them for some more months
#!!!!!!!!#i feel like i should have a specific tag for this at this point#wolves of the woods#ig#if it work it works#IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM THO!!!#to have infected u with my thoughts#there is no higher honor#hatake oc#nara oc#orochi oc#hyuuga oc#birds fanart#birds art#kakashi hatake#hatake kakashi#hatake clan lore#early konoha#birds fic talk#birds ocs
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Erend: they don't Id me at the liquor store anymore because they see the light has left my eyes
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Erend: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Alva: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Erend: Not when you're playing with Zo, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog".
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Varl: You're ignoring all your problems.
Aloy: I know.
Varl: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism?
Aloy: I'm ignoring that fact as well.
Varl:
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Zo: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Aloy: turning to Sylens How tall are you?
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Aloy: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Sylens: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.
Aloy: I'm leaving you, and I'm TAKING BETA WITH ME!
Varl, picking up the strike board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
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Aloy: Want do you want to be for "Halloween"?
Beta: Loved.
Aloy: Don't do this.
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Sylens: I will not stand to be disrespected like this!
Aloy: Then sit.
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Alva: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life...
Zo: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back.
Aloy: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Beta: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Erend: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Varl: Mental stability, my old friend!
Alva: Ancestors, could you guys lighten up a little?
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Varl: What do you think Kotallo will do for a distraction?
Aloy: Probably, like, whistle or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
Building explodes and several car alarms go off
Aloy: ...or they could do that.
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OK THAT'S ENOUGH I SHOULD PROABLY STOP NOW BYE
#no photos today#this is my favorite aloy and varl dynamic actually#“i'm fine” “you broke a rib” “i can walk” “you were literally hallucinating”#him being the voice of reason lmao#wanted to use “you'd be amazed at how many times i've fucked around without finding a single thing out” but couldn't figure out who lol#i live in a delusional au of varl's fine and elisabet and the others magically come back from the dead aka cryostasis and its lovely here#unrelated but yeah lol. i think the alphas would get a kick out of their nonsense#they just chill at the base and watch the chaos unfold. theyre also terrified and elisabet has two children now#i like this au its fun to think about#sorry that had nothing to do with anything anyways#not me randomly stopping in the middle of fighting two specters just to write this post for like 30 minutes lmao#update it was longer than 30 minutes i got distracted#horizon forbidden west#horizon forbidden west incorrect quotes#hfw#hfw incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#gaia gang#aloy#erend#varl#zo#kotallo#alva#beta hfw#fable's quotes#too many of them in one actually but im not removing any so#i love incorrect quotes hehehhh#ahyways too many tags bye i need to stop
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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#curious observation time#not trying to point fingers or invoke any level of drama#and please someone point out if i've missed something#but i do think it is a tad odd#or at least very telling#that....zero (0) people in kpop have#commented at all on liam from 1D dying#when people are crawling out of the woodwork left and right#to give tributes and condolences#i'm sure there is a lot less overlap there#with people who ever actually interacted with him#but the silence feels extra loud when every global non-korean boy group#from the last....3-4 decades at this point#has said SOMETHING#again i know it's not really how kpop operates#to comment on current events or really....anything outside of loving their fans#and maybe it's the drug connection#or all the commentary about consequences of making kids into celebrities#that makes them not want to touch it with a ten foot pole but#it's really kind of driving home what a bubble kpop lives in for me#like this alternate universe where nothing else happens in the world except kpop#which i think is why i got sucked in during the pandemic#but now that the world has gone back to normal#it does sometimes feel like a weird place to be#but also#if dating and smoking and a tipsy scooter ride is the epitome of scandal#where do you even put larger world problems#sorry this has taken a turn#the escapism of kpop is one if it's draws#but sometimes it feels bizarre to be in here and realize how much you're ignoring
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"Being laid back in some scenes doesn't indicate."
Butch isn't just laidback in some scenes, but in general.
In the comics, He rarely gets mad just annoyed.
Boomer played prank on him and instead of resorting to violence, He just tells Boomer that now he has to dry up his clothes.
Also Boomer literally kicked Butch, He asked what's the big idea? But then never kicks Boomer back. (Maybe he forgot)
Butch also trustes Brick alot, When Brick tells him that their is a dryer. He believes him and thanks him. (Only for Brick to scare the living crap out of him.)
In boys are back in town, Butch didn't do much to Buttercup compare to Brick and Boomer. Brick uses Blossom like a microphone and then plays a psychological trick on her by spitting on her. Boomer literally stomps on Bubbles's head and Boomer chooses Bubbles for the whole slug thing.
All Butch did was slam BC on his chest. Like a Gorilla. Compare to Boomer this is nothing.
When Bubbles accidentally shot him with the spit. He doesn't even look mad, He just look daze. He also doesn't beat up Bubbles/Boomer for it.
It's not like he isn't aggressive at all, but He is just the least aggressive out of the three.
Personalities wise, I don't think he is as aggressive as his counterpart. He is certainly energetic and silly and pretty laid-back from I've seen. (Also twitching doesn't mean he is mentally unstable). Although, I do think he parallels BC some aspects. Like his role. Brick seems to favor Butch a Lil more. When he needs a hype man he always looks at Butch. And maybe he doesn't get bullied picked on just as much as Boomer.
Since the reason why they bully Boomer is because he stands out to much. So, Maybe he is the RRB's Co Leader or Brick's right hand man.
And maybe there is a reason why Brick refers to Butch as the "Baron of Beserker".🤷♀️
"Boomer doesn't seem to talk back to Brick unless he is getting treated unfairly."
Fair, But Boomer seems like a very individualistic person. He always tries to stand out. And even stands out to much.
In some situation, especially in the comics, he is the aggressor.
-Boomer throws salt on Brick's face
-He kicks Butch
-He pranks Butch
Boomer is also the most brutal/evil out of all 3 of his brothers.
In boys are back in town, He treated Bubbles the worst, He choose her for the slug prank and Stomps on her head.
In the comic, Father knows Worst. The boys were competing who is the most evil. Boomer is shown to be more "evil" because Boomer is only one to put civilians in danger. While Brick and Butch only pulled annoying pranks.
In the Boys are back in town, Butch and Brick both show a reaction after getting humiliated by the girls. But Boomer is just stone face throughout the whole thing.
I don't think Boomer is the most evil, But he definitely overcompensates alot due to being bullied. Hence why he is more brutual. (Kinda reminds me of Bubblesvicious.)
"Attacking Blossom when she was pretending to be MOJO"
Bubbles wasn't pretending, she hit her head.
I also don't think bubbles is dumb. I mean the episode where she dressed like Boomer proves that. Because She can spell correctly and cursive.
Bubbles is still 5 and is still in school so her not knowing certain things is okay. I don't think bubbles is dumb. She is just nice and cute.
Boomer is well, Actually dumb and uneducated. For example, when the puffs stops him and his response was "what are you going to do? Beat me up" and then got beat up.
Boomer is certainly brave, But stupid. He isn't afraid to defend himself. That's why when Bubbles dressed like Boomer defended himself. And told Brick and Butch that he ate the candy. Brick and Butch just laugh at him. Indicating that Boomer isn't a pushover and can stand up for himself.
And sometimes he talks back to Brick even when Brick doesn't attack him hence why Brick hits him alot.
Bubbles hate fighting and arguing. Boomer isn't afraid to fight and argue. In the comic father knows worst, Brick and Butch get into argument Boomer stops them, But not for the reason he hate seeing them fight but for the reason he want to proof to them that he is the most evilest.
So while Bubbles and Boomer may parallel each other in situations and role. Their personalities are not the same. Bubbles is sugary and sweet. And Boomer is snippy.
In the idw comic, Boomer calls bubbles weak for not liking loud music, While Bubbles was about to show him weak.
But I do agree they are both airheads. Boomer tends to be absent mindedly cheerful. While Bubbles is cheerful.
In conclusion, One side believe they are opposites while the other side think they are parallels. There is a reddit, where someone analyze and peiced together the RRB'S Personalities.
I think the agreement can go both ways, But we don't have enough information about the boys to make a proper conclusion.
There personalities could be opposite to their counterparts while their situation can be parallel.
But, If Butch is supposed to be BC but only with her worst traits. He isn't doing a good job of it.
Unpopular Opinion and Pet Peeves in the PPG Fandom
If you got anymore please tell me in the replies or ask
TW: Sexual Topics,Sexual Harassment
I hope you agree with me byeeee🫶🏽🤭
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It is truly so funny to work myself out of depression in a 2.5 year upwards crawl, reach a point where I actually like and value myself and think I may, in fact, be a treasure-
only for the academic job market to turn to me, lovingly take my face in its hands, and say "...then perish."
#tbd#this is just a silly little rant and nothing is actually wrong#but its so wild to cultivate belief in yourself and then be repeatedly told your chances at success are infindecimally small#even when you beat the odds the first time around#i've got my therapist and other people in my life being like 'don't be so pessimistic! we're supposed to be over that self-hate!"#and then for the academics to go: 'well... don't get ahead of yourself!'#its fine. i'll live and thrive and be happy whatever happens.#just actually a very funny series of social interactions to have now I'm no longer ill...#and makes me understand a little how I got so fucking ill in the first place.#academia tag
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i hate being an adult i hate money i hate bills i hate healthcare and health insurance
#im fine im just upset that it is VERY likely i'm going to have to front $700 of my own money for work reasons this week#bc nobody at work will help me resolve this!! apparently! i'll be paid back eventually but not for a few weeks#and that i may run out of a prescription while i'm on my trip and i was trying to get it filled and have been bouncing around on the phone#to find out that it's the insurance company that won't pay for it until june and i dont want to pay out of pocket#i'll live til then and i may actually have enough til then (i need to just physically count all the pills; i just knew it was running low)#but i'm so frustrated that after i hung up the phone with CVS that i just cried a little#i'm not gonna call the insurance. the last thing i want to do is deal with those guys when i know it's not going to kill me if i run low#(i have been taking half doses to stretch the bottle. is that advised? who knows! but i've done it before and it aint killed me)#i'm just. sigh. nothing going right for me this week#there's also ANOTHER medication that was supposed to refill this week but didn't because it had no refills left. i should've got it today#sooooo i had to call that pharmacy and that doctor to basically beg them to refill it asap or at least send me a sample#i also wont die if i run out of that one (already taken half doses to stretch it this week) but contrary to the other one i will notice thi
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#oh hey i just caught myself harboring Unnecessary Nightmare Scenarios#that last post made me think about how the only thing stopping me from getting another dog is money#like i could afford having a friend for savu. it would be no problem#BUT in a situation where i lost my partner and had to provide for the dogs by myself and they'd both get sick i'd be in deep trouble#which has sounded like a completely rational thing to be aware of. a completely valid reason for not getting another dog#except that is quite a few things that need to go wrong before the deep trouble would actually hit#and is that really the way i want to live my life? waiting for this relationship to end? accepting that eventually i will be left alone?#that my current life is nothing but a brief respite from a continuous struggle with both finances and illness? a glitch that will soon pass#it actually doesn't sound valid at all when i write it out like this#i have a partner who brings another stable paycheck into this household. i have no reason to believe this would change anytime soon#i have a wonderful dog that would probably benefit from having a friend#shelties are not super prone to any major lifelong diseases or such so it's unlikely the new dog would need constant expensive treatments#i think this thought pattern got a hold of me when savu got sick last spring#it was scary and unpleasant and i still feel raw around the edges after experiencing all of it#(the dog is fine by the way! definitely better these days and i'm super happy we got the surgery. we have many good years ahead of us still#but like. i'd like if my brain accepted 'this summer was scary and i'm not sure if i'm ready to possibly experience it with another dog'#instead of feeding me lies about a future where i'm all alone and desperately poor#but hey i've never caught this one before! now i know this thought pattern exists and can do something about it#sussitalk
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It's strange, how you always seem to be there to grab a picture, yet he never spots you until you're right upon him. It's like you settle into the scenery and live there, waiting for your moment to strike. He wonders if this is how a mouse feels right before a snake emerges from the grass.
"You know." He tells the room because he knows you're in here, somewhere. "You probably would have been a great hero if you actually used that sneaky ass weirdo quirk of yours properly."
Bakugo stills his breath and listens. There's no muffled sound of breathing or footsteps, no sign of you at all. He thinks maybe, just maybe, he's misjudged, and you aren't here, so he throws out another barb-
"Instead you chose to be some pretty faced tiktok bimbo."
Again, he pauses. Nothing. He steps back and, for the briefest moment, the hair on the back of his neck stands up- his body on high alert before his brain can react. It's followed by the warm, timed release of breath against the back of his neck, then your arms, draping over his shoulders.
"So you think I'm pretty."
He shrugs you away to hide how his body flinches.
"Oh, please. You have two million subscribers on your tiktok: you know you're damn pretty."
When Bakugo turns, you have that same, tight lipped closed smile as ever.
"You think I'm pretty and you've been stalking my socials," you say. "Be careful, 'tsuki. People are going to think we're dating."
"I wanted to fucking talk about that." He steps one way, you step the other, circling each other, never breaking eye contact. it's strangely intimate, strangely electric. The hunt, the chase- he's apart of it and he's not sure where he's the chaser or the chased.
"Thanks to your shit-ass post, people think I've got some secret girlfriend."
"And now you're more desirable than ever," you say. Bakugo can't deny that- his DMs have been crawling with girls way out of his fucking league. "You're welcome."
"How's that make any sense?"
"People always want something they can't have." You look him up and down again like you're sizing him up to eat. The air has the hint of your perfume- how did he not smell it before? "That's how I know your friends have been asking a lot of questions about me."
Bakugo takes it back. There's no doubt in his mind that he's the one being hunted.
"I'd take Izuku's number, by the way."
"Fuck off."
okay back to tiktok star turning social media manager reader and bakugo
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