jackielxxn

[varjopeura]

.

[areislol]

The stalker

►— pairings. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. mentions of stalking/a stalker (if it makes you uncomfortable please don't read), implies that reader enjoys coffee (sorry if you're not a coffee enjoyer), slight sprinkle of angst, crack/fluff, proofread

►— synopsis. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to where you were.

►— a/n. for some reason this feels more like a filler than an actual eventful chapter. sigh i hope you guys enjoy this! I'm also writing a sahau headcanon :)

►— wordcount. 6.4k

✧ part one | ✧ part two | ✧ part three | ✧ part four | ✧ part five | ✧ part six | more tba.. NAVIGATION

recommended to listen to: snooze- sza

Having a stalker would be the last thing you could ever imagine having and experiencing.

You weren't exactly that good looking (in your opinion anyway), you were just average. You didn't have any powers or anything, so why would someone pick you out of billions of people to stalk?

The idea itself was baffling, it was even more chilling with the fact that you were quite literally talking and interacting with your stalker. It was utterly horrifying with the fact that he was so close to you, so close that he could snatch you if he wanted to—take you away.

As you lay still on your bed your mind was flooding with the images of the man, his black hoodie hiding his upper face, his twisted smile. You heaved a sigh before turning around, your face meeting with Ayato's.

He was gorgeous. He looked so heavenly and handsome that's for sure. The inner corner of your lips tug upwards as you examine his face, it seems as if his face immediately calmed you down. Your eyes soften as you continue to watch him, his chest heaving up and down gently.

But as the constant fear and unease had taken its toll on your mind, the thoughts of your stalker seemed to consume you despite how hard you tried to push them away.

The room was wrapped in an eerie blue hue, mirroring the turmoil within you. The morning light has yet pierced through the darkness, but the blue outside seemed to mock your unsettled state of mind. As you sat up in your bed, you heaved a great sigh before running your fingers through your tangled hair, groaning in frustration.

What was today going to be like? Could you really go back to work after being informed about the fact that you literally have a STALKER? Who in the right mind would go back to work after that?!

.... Except for you, we don't count you in. You desperately needed the money for college and couldn't just skip a day off of work because you felt unsafe, technically you can but what about the money? You needed it.

Your face was buried in the palms of your hands as you took a deep breath. Suddenly, you were pulled out of your thoughts by a soft groan followed by the sounds of the blanket rustling and a groan.

A soft, raspy yet sultry voice allures you, making your stomach flip.

"Already awake, darling? Isn't it a bit too—" Ayato yawned as his voice stretched, strands of hair softly drooped and covering half of his face even more. As you pulled away from your palms and stared at Ayato, seeing him looking drowsy and tired (yet so handsome) made you smile.

"A bit too early..." he continued, blinking groggily towards you. The corner of his lips tugged outwards as the realization dawned on him, he was sleeping beside you, a beauty, his creator. A red hue soon makes its way to his cheeks, you watch him curiously, his reaction is adorable (although you don't know why he is suddenly so red).

You shake your head, stretching your arms as a soft groan slips out of your mouth. "Not really, I... have to go to work." You replied, trying your best not to sound upset. But despite that Ayato could see right through you.

He knew there was something off but did not speak up with his thoughts, maybe he was wrong? After a few minutes, you both decide to get out of bed, careful not to wake up the rest.

The sounds of the tap running and stopping indicated that a few were awake, not only that but you could hear the sounds of sizzling, Thoma or Aether were already cooking breakfast. You were always so thankful for them, they made you breakfast, kept you company and were there when you needed them.

As you hopped off your bed you held onto Ayato's arm for support as you had slept in an awkward and weird position, applying pressure to your legs which eventually led to them being sore. Ayato enjoyed every second of your touch.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry you? I wouldn't mind, really." Ayato offered, trying to convince you to let him carry you, obviously, you politely denied him. "There's no need, thank you though!"

After spending a couple of minutes brushing your teeth and washing your face with Ayato, you both went your own way with him going to the kitchen while you went back into your bedroom to wake up the rest of the men.

You were unsure why some were still sleeping in as they usually were awake before you, but it seemed like they were tired. "Good morning, wake up everybody!" You yelled, careful not to startle them too much. Collective groans could be heard followed by the rustles of bed sheets.

Aether turns on his back and lets out a sigh. "I'm awake.." He groans, rubbing his eyes and sitting up on the mattress. He groggily blinks at you before giving you a small smile. He was so adorable. And his messy bed hair didn't help either.

Itto grumbled and hid under the sheets. "Five more minutes... I need to finish my dream.." He mumbled before snoring off. You sighed and shook your head before walking towards Itto and crouching to his figure. Could a dream really be that interesting?

After poking his head a few times to get him to wake up, Itto rolled on his back and let out a huff. "Why don't you just sleep in with me? Aren't you tired?" He yawned, rubbing his eyes.

You shake your head. "No, not really. Now get up" Itto reluctantly got up when you heard Wanderer scoff. "So lazy." Wanderer gives Itto one last glance before walking out of your room, probably heading to the bathroom.

Itto groans, his morning was already somewhat ruined. "Don't think too much about it." And with that, you left the room with Itto clinging onto your arm with no plan of letting go of you either.

It was funny as this buff and hunkier man was clinging onto YOUR much smaller arm.

You both make your way towards the living room and into the kitchen, the smell of warm bread fills your nose. Toast? You thought as you seated yourself down in front of the table.

Itto plants himself right beside you, reluctantly letting go of your arm. "Good morning Y/n, did you sleep well?" Tighnari asks, seating himself beside you as well. Tighnari set down a book alongside a cup of warm water.

You nod your head when you remember something.

"Oh, I slept well thank you. What about you though? I remember falling asleep beside you... oh, and I was touching something soft as well."

You notice how Tighnari seems flustered by your words as his ear twitched. He clears his throat softly before replying. "That's good to hear and I slept pretty well."

He left it at that, he replied to everything but your last sentence. You slowly nod your head—signifying for him to go on. Tighnari's cheeks reddened before speaking.

"You fell asleep while touching my ears. I assume they helped you fall asleep?" He teased, a small smirk appearing on his lips. You had a hunch that he already knew the answer.

You didn't want to lie of course, yes, you did sleep better while touching his ears but it was still a bit.. awkward to admit. But to your luck Thoma came over, holding a cup of warm, delicious-smelling coffee as well as a plate of cheese toast.

Something small and simple but delicious. You let out a soft and relieved sigh, Thoma was right on time—reliving you from the awkwardness of answering the very embarrassing question.

(It really wasn't that awkward but to you it was.)

He places the plate and cups down on the table before muttering a soft and gentle "Good morning". "Where did you learn to make this? It tastes amazing!" You beamed, taking a sip of the warm coffee. Thoma offers a tender smile as he seats himself down and replies.

"I watched a video about it on the TV, an.. ad I think it was? It was quite informative, really! Although the ingredients were a bit worrying. Should you really be drinking that so early in the morning?"

You could tell from his tone that he was worried and you could've sworn you felt a jab at your heart. You wave your hand, dismissing his comment. "Nah, it'll be okay."

"You'll be okay?" "Yeah, I will don't worry."

Thoma smiles uncertainly but nonetheless watches you eat your food, Tighnari goes back to reading his book about flowers and nature as Itto munches on his sandwich.

The sounds of a newslady could be heard from the living room, you occasionally glanced over to the boy and the TV, enjoying the beautiful sight of the men as they watched the news carefully and attentively.

After a couple of minutes, you finished your breakfast and got up from your seat, Tighnari and Itto had already gotten up first and were sitting on the couch along with the others—commenting alongside the news reporter.

You were used to this now. You made your way to the sink and carefully placed your dish in the sink before turning on the tap, soaking the dishes with water so that it would be easier to wash later on.

Normally you would wash your own dishes but felt unmotivated to do anything today, but alas you still had to go to work. Just the mere thought of returning to work and maybe even facing your regular customer you now know as your stalker.

Shuddering at the thought you slowly make your way to your coffee table and grab your bag as well as your house keys (not that you use it much nowadays), you really wanted to spend time with the men but of course, you had to go to work.

Albedo gives you a look as he watches you get your things, ready to leave to go to work. He, along with the others, knew something was up. You were slightly more timid, more than usual.

And also that message you had received? Oh yeah, they did not forget that message "Mark Holey" guy sent you last night. "Leaving already?" Albedo questions. You reply back, not looking at Albedo as you speak—too busy focusing on

"Yeah I have to help prepare some cakes today so I need to go there earlier. Stay safe okay? I'll be back at four (4) PM probably."

He only gives you a silent nod when you turn around and look at him. Noticing the look on his face you knew something was wrong. But you didn't want to pry, the same went for you.

Since last night after getting the message Albedo, Dainsleif and a couple more were suspicious and concerned. You had never mentioned a guy named "Mark" before, maybe he was your friend, but either way, they had never seen him pop up on your screen.

It wasn't like they could just tell you about it though, what if you thought they were weird for looking at your phone? Would you be mad at them for being so concerned over something so little? Their thoughts could never catch a break.

Gorou fought his urge to jump on you and tightly embrace you in his arms. But with a few quick and knowing looks thrown towards him, he knew better. As you slipped on your shoes in a hurry, Neuvillette got up from the couch and towards you, standing behind you awkwardly yet with such authority.

You finally put your foot on the ground after struggling to put on your shoes and as you turn around to bid the men farewell you almost get a heart attack.

"N-Neuvillette! You scared me.. again." You had jumped a little bit from the scare but you calmed down nonetheless. Neuvillette apologizes, looking at you like a kicked puppy. He looked as if he had done the worst crime in all history (to him it was).

"I apologize... I just wanted to say goodbye and to stay safe." He sounded so sad it made you feel so guilty, you offered him a tender smile before responding. "No need to apologize it's fine! And that's very sweet of you, thank you! I'll be on my way then?"

Neuvillette only silently nods as you twist the doorknob—opening it just enough where you slip through but all of a sudden you feel a warm hand gently resting on your shoulder.

Turning around you were met with Neuvillette once again. "Something wrong?" You asked, brows furrowing as you waited for his reply. Neuvillette's mouth opens slightly, words just about to slip right through but he quickly closes it, his eyes darting away for a brief moment before his gaze sets right back at you.

"Is.. Is there really no way for you to bring us there with you? Can we really not come with you?" His eyes bore into yours, waiting to get an answer out of you. You sigh as your gaze wanders off behind Neuvillette and onto your living room where the rest of the men sit on the ground and couch.

Some were reading books – Al-Haitham, Albedo, Tighnari and Ayato –watching the TV or tampering with your broken gadgets – Albedo, Kaveh, Heizou and Lyney – (such as your poor broken iPad that your younger sister broke in a fit of anger.)

While most were watching you and when your eyes met theirs one at a time a smirk grew on their face. They were all quite a handful, it would look suspicious if you, all of a sudden, bought all 24 men into your pastry shop.

Who wouldn't freak out at the sight of 24 men trailing behind one singular person?!

"Maybe soon, but not right now for sure." Your eyes met up with his once again his deep blue eyes still staring at yours. God that man could maintain eye contact.

And as you two just stood there, not saying a word to each other, the more you noticed how close Neuvillette was getting and before you knew it Neuvillette was leaning down towards you, his face just inches apart from yours.

It was as if he was just about to kiss you, and the thought of him going to kiss you was.. unfathomable. Fathom the Unfathomable am I right?

An awkward silence ensues before Neuvillette sighs, closing his eyes shut before pulling and backing away. You thanked the Lord mentally before letting out a shaky breath. What was that all about?

As the men all waved and sent you goodbye, you waved goodbye yourself before closing the door shut, you were gone now.

"Something is definitely wrong," Albedo speaks up, putting his book down carefully on a table. "Yeah! Whoever is making Our Grace like this will pay!" Itto yelled. Dainsleif cradles his head in his palms as he shakes his head in disappointment.

"The goon's getting too passionate now," Dainsleif mumbled to himself, unbeknownst to him a couple others heard him and they wholeheartedly agreed.

Wanderer shushed Itto but despite that, he agreed with him as well. Whoever was making you feel this way would surely pay. "I thought we wouldn't call Y/n 'Your Grace' anymore?" Al-Haitham spoke, not looking up from his book.

"Oops?" Itto sheepishly smiled at Al-Haitham (who wasn't even looking at him). "Either way, I'm sure if something was troubling them, they would tell us." Al-Haitham continued.

Everybody knew they weren't so close to you, but they felt like they were slowly building their trust in you. Plus, they would never lie to you or do anything to upset you. As a matter of fact they would rather die than upset you in any way.

Even so, they only hoped you could and would confide in them.

Hours passed since you left, they all busied themselves with their own thing. Tighnari and Albedo were exchanging sketching tips and doing sketching challenges, Thoma was resting in your bed as he was tired from doing a "Just Dance" exercise with Itto, Kaeya and Childe.

(You introduced them to Just Dance for funsies, they were intrigued by the songs/lyrics and the dance moves. Some did NOT like to dance and therefore did not do it but when you gave them those darn puppy dog eyes.. they couldn't resist.)

The Fatui were again admiring the view from your window, watching the people doing their own thing. The people's lives here weren't so different from their world but still, it was their creator's world and they were intrigued.

Ayato, Aether and Wriothesley were sitting side by side on chairs as they skimmed through your laptop. You had given them your permission to go on your laptop to do whatever. And they happily accepted with the one condition that they wouldn't go on a site called "Tumblr".

Aether was still learning how to use your laptop and type, they scrolled through Google, typing random words—Dogs, Cats, Pencil, Man, Woman, you name it. While they were looking at cute puppies, Wriothelsye pointed out how there was a tab named "Genshin Impact archon memes".

"Genshin? Isn't that the uh, game-world thing we're from?" He mused, "Click on it." and Aether did so, upon clicking the tab they were brought upon many images of the Archons.

Zhongli, Furina, Raiden Shogun, Venti and Nahida. There were so many images, it was a funny sight. Why was Zhongli pole dancing....? Safe to say they were slightly traumatized. Zhongli himself was embarrassed yet concerned when Aether called him over to see him "bussing it down", as the title said.

In the end, Zhongli forbids them from looking at any other memes. They would just find another way to entertain themselves before you came back home.

"Ugh when will Y/n come back I miss them..." Lyney whined, tapping his finger on the couch in boredom as he lay there, his eyes focused on the door—hoping that he would see the door unlock and that you would be there. But of course, that wouldn't happen.

"Eh I don't know but they said around four to five, am I right, Neuvillette?" Heizou turns to face Neuvillette who is sipping a cup of cold water. "Mhm, you're right."

It was silent from then on as everybody did their own thing when Aether was suddenly reminded of something out of the blue. "Hey guys.. remember that text message thing Y/n got last night?"

A few looked his way in confusion while some hummed in agreement. "What message?" "The one Y/n got last night..? The name was uh.. Marcus Hole?"

"It was 'Mark Holey', Aether." Dainsleif sighed. "Close enough," Aether mumbled back, slightly embarrassed. "But either way, what do you mean? What message did Y/n receive? I wasn't awake." Cyno chimed in, confused.

They spent the next hour or so discussing the mysterious message, making up excuses and ideas of what it meant.

"I don't know that message gave me the creeps." Cyno shudders, "I mean like who sends out a message like that? Weirdo." He continued, and the others agreed. Who on earth just sends out a message like that?

"Maybe Y/n has a secret admirer..?!" Itto suddenly gasps dramatically and loudly, almost giving Kaveh a heart attack.

"Oh please, if anyone was their secret admirer it would be us—" Lyney cuts himself off as he realizes what he said, not only that but all of the stares he was getting (they knew what he said was true).

Lyney cleared his throat. ".. Uh I mean like.. you know?" he tried his best to cover up his words but to no avail. No one commented on what he said, they all did not want to admit to having a crush on you.

If they did outright admit it, wouldn't the others find them a creep? Would you find them to be creepy..?

And that is why they opt to be quiet and only hope to win your heart through actions.

Needless to say, they spent the next hour or so discussing the strange message and what it could've meant.. but on the other hand you... were struggling in the store.

Days would pass when you went to work and returned home, utterly stressed and frustrated. One thing the men all noticed was how happy and content you were before leaving for work, and how less talkative and timid you were coming back home.

It looked as though something had a toll on your health and it pained them to see you like that, they all agreed that they should not pry in case it was sensitive for you but even so, they couldn't help but worry and make sure you were alright there and then.

You lay on your bed, just lying there with a heavy heart and mind. Neuvillette sat on the edge of the bed and watched you silently, although your eyes were covered by your arm you could sense his stare.

"Everything okay, Nevy?" You had all grown accustomed to giving each other nicknames now, by far the stupidest (and cutest, you deny it though) is "Snookums" Can you guess who? Childe.

"I should be the one asking you that," Neuvillette chuckles as he turns to face you, slowly and gently moving your arm away from your face. You cast him a curious look, wondering what he knew and what he didn't.

You knew you were bad at covering up your feelings and lying but was it really that bad? "What do you mean? I'm fine if anything" You huffed, sitting up on your bed.

Neuvillette hummed, observing your face and body language, you were definitely not fine. "Don't give me that look Nevy, I swear I'm fine."

You swear? Should you really be swearing something like that..? You were not fine at all and you knew it.

"Okay fine, something did happen—well, IS happening but it's a very small matter so there's no need for you to worry."

Seconds passed with Neuvillette continuing to stare at you, but the more time passed the more he noticed how uncomfortable you got, obviously you did not want to speak about what was going on.

Neuvillette finally let out a sigh, breaking the silence. "I won't pry, Y/N. But if you ever need anything or advice I'm here, we're here." He hinted that you could talk to anyone you like (ahem the 24 men) not just him.

You were thankful for his kindness but this was your business, you didn't want to drag them into your business. "Could you leave me alone just for a bit? I'm sorry..." Neuvillette dismissed your apology and instead apologized for his behaviour.

"No, it's okay. If anything I apologize for making you uncomfortable. If you need me I'll be in the living room alright? Got to make sure those boys aren't causing a ruckus now."

His words made you smile as you nodded your head, thanking him for leaving you alone. When the door closes shut you flop down back onto your bed, finally letting your tears run freely down your cheeks.

All of your bottled-up feelings came pouring out, and you couldn't help but restrain your sobs. The taste of salt lingered on your lips, you clutched your chest, fingers digging into the fabric. Everything was all too much and you didn't know what to do, what could you do?

As each day passed you were vigilant when heading out, always looking past your shoulders just incase something were to happen. You wouldn't feel a looming presence or anything but the image of a man in a black hoodie with his face covered coming from behind and attacking you was more than enough to keep you on guard.

Your imagination was wild indeed, you thought of many things that could happen to you, maybe he would come up from behind and place a handkerchief over your mouth that was doused in some sleeping drug?!

Maybe he would follow you home and break in through your window..? That couldn't be possible anyway, you had 28 men in your house, and there was no way he would break in unnoticed.

Currently, you were seated down on a chair, swirling a silver spoon in your cup, the darkly coloured brown blending in nicely with the lighter colours, it was a pretty sight, and along with the warm aroma... It was as if the smell itself could take everything off your mind.

Sighing you looked out the window, enjoying the bright and sunny view, totally contrasting the vibe and light in the room you were in. "Mind if I sit here?"

A soft familiar voice drags you out of your thoughts as you look up, it is the woman from before. You hadn't seen her since the day she informed you about your stalker. "Huh? Oh, yeah of course!" You watch as she sets her bag down beside her chair as she sits herself down.

"What were you looking at? And why aren't you working?" She asked, cocking her head in confusion, a sigh escapes your lips before answering. "Enjoying the view I suppose, and I'm just taking a break.. oh! I haven't seen you for a bit.. how are you?"

Thanks to you, you both managed to have a pretty nice conversation, talking about your hobbies and interests and so on, you both exchanged names as well, learning that her name was Elisa.

Just as your laughter died down Elisa cleared her throat before looking around cautiously, her actions caught your attention as you too, scanned the room. "Uh what are you—" "Just checking for someone, hey, you... have you tried to get help yet? I mean the whole stalker ordeal."

Her voice was barely above a whisper but you somehow managed to hear her clearly, your eyes widened at her words. "Well... I.." You groaned, clearly frustrated.

"I tried to get the police on it but they said I didn't have any evidence and therefore couldn't file a report or something, I'm not used to dealing with these kinds of things so maybe I'm doing something wrong.."

Elisa attentively listened to your words, humming as you spoke. "I see.. what about we exchange contact, I'll help you!" Elisa grinned, your eyes widened from shock, was she really willing to help you out?

"Wait—really? Are you sure?" Still a bit shocked you narrow your eyes at her, you didn't want her caught up in your mess. "Mhm, positive. Besides, my father's the Chief!" Elisa really was an angel.

You grab out your phone before switching the phone with Elisa to exchange contact. As you typed in your number Elisa spoke up, "You haven't unlocked your phone yet." Looking up you see your phone in your face with just the lock screen on. "Oh, sorry!"

Grabbing your phone you unlocked your phone before passing it back to Elisa, you were done with your number so you set her phone down on the table, waiting for her to be done. As Elisa punched her number she couldn't help but remember your lock screen.

Speaking of phones, you really ought to buy a phone or something sooner or later to contact them in case something happens.. and vice versa.

Finally, Elisa was done as she gave your phone back before taking hers. "Your lock screen," She began, you pouted in confusion. "My.. lock screen?" Elisa nods, "who are they? They're quite handsome.." You perk up as she mentions them.

You begin to explain how they were your "friends" and when you took that picture.

"I remember the day I took this, I think this was.. a couple of days ago? I wanted to try out that "finger heart" trend on TikTok with all of them! Of course, normally it's just with two but since I wanted to include them all I just concluded for me to do the heart with him,"

You point at Al-haitham, a soft fond smile spreads across your lips remembering how he begrudgingly agreed to make a finger heart with you.

"And the rest would just make a heart with their hands!" You chirped, putting your phone back in your pocket. Elisa nods her head, a faint yet noticeable blush tinting her cheeks. "I see..."

Elisa sits there across from you, contemplating something all the while you begin to hum a soft tone and sip your drink. You both stayed silent (not that you minded), doing your own thing. Elisa occasionally glanced up at you, watching your every move and your face.

If, in the end, she helps you get that stalker in jail and lock him up.. would you help her hook her up with one of them? Just the thought itself makes her feel all giddy.

After an hour you decide to pack up your things and clock off, you were more than happy with the fact that your new friend, Elisa, would help you catch your stalker but you couldn't get your hopes up too high just yet.

You waved goodbye to Elisa and the owner before opening the door, the wind chimes tinkling with the wind. "Hey—Wait up!" Turning around you could see Elisa running towards you, her tote bag hanging on her shoulder as she rushed towards you.

"How about I walk you home? You must not feel safe nowadays.." She stated, scanning your face in the hopes of finding her answer quickly. "I guess so, thank you once again." A faint smile appears on your lips before turning around and holding the door open for her.

The walk back home was peaceful, you felt quite safe around Elisa. Besides, no person who would want to attack someone would do it out in broad daylight.. especially not when they had another person with them.

You made little talk during the walk back, opting to stay a bit quieter as you noticed how Elisa seemed to really be thinking hard. Maybe she was planning to catch the man? Either way, you shouldn't disturb her.

Finally, you reach your home, walking up to the front door you fumble for the keys in your bag. After finding it you slid it into the keyhole before turning it followed by the sound of a "click!".

You were finally home.

Turning around you waved goodbye to Elisa with a smile. "See you soon!" Elisa waved back and eye your home, so this is where you lived. It was a modest and simple.

Stepping into your home you closed the door behind you and locked it before placing your bag down and hurriedly kicking off your shoes, "I'm home!" You yelled out, taking off your jacket and placing it over a chair.

The sounds of people scurrying could be heard, and that's when you spotted Aether speed walking towards you, the others surrounding him running after him (more like you) was a funny sight and before you knew it Aether was embracing you lovingly in his arms.

"I missed you so much Y/N!" Aether blurts out, his cheek pressed against yours. "We, We missed you too Y/N" Diluc clears his throat, clearly not liking how Aether was hogging you all up.

As a bicker between the boys ensues with the attempt of Scaramouche trying to pry Aether and Heizou off of you, a small snicker escapes your lips. The scene itself was hilarious but this was what you really needed after a long day.

Scara, Heizou and Aether stopped fighting and turned to face you along with the rest of the men, some of the others were in your bedroom (they knew you were here but stayed in your room knowing you'd come in and greet them sooner or later).

"I missed you guys too." A small smile breaks outs as you pat Aether's head. With no delay, they began to fight once again, why? Apparently, you had given Childe the look that Itto saw.

Despite all the ruckus they caused (not that you're complaining but sometimes it gets out of hand, but you have the help of the others!), you still loved them regardless and enjoyed their presence.

The weekend soon came over (thank the Lord) and you could finally relax. Currently you were sitting on the floor with your back pressed up against the couch, Kaeya laid on your lap, his head resting on your thighs and boy was he in heaven.

It was as if your thighs and his head were meant to be... the perfect combo. Baizhu sat next to you, sipping on a juice box (he had grown quite fond of them) while watching the TV.

Wriothesley was sitting by your other side, chatting with Cyno, Venti and Kazuha. Yes, it was an odd sight to see them all interacting when they were all different from one another but it was cute at the same time, they were all talking about their experiences back in Teyvat.

(Cough cough Y/N please come back to Teyvat cough cough)

All the while Thoma along with Ayato were making lunch in the kitchen, it was always either Thoma, Aether or Ayato cooking but it wasn't like you were complaining.

Not only that but you were dead set on learning to bake with them, so now you had something to be looking forward to next week where you would begin your baking lessons.

As you sit there watching the TV with the men and stuffing your mouth with chips you suddenly feel a buzz next to your leg. Looking down you notice your phone screen lighting up from a text sent to you by... Elisa?

You picked up your phone and began to type back.

El: Y/N! you on? i got some really good news!

Y/N: i'm on! and really? you gotta tell me asap

You see the small chat bubble of Elisa typing, you felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach as you watch her type until she sends her message.

El: we caught the guy :) long story short when i went back home i talked to my father about it and just by a chance he said that there were multiple other reports of people reporting a strange man following them and other coincidences and all...

El: my father began to search for the man on his own and guess what! he saw the same exact described man just walking around the park looking super suspicious.. i mean how stupid can a man be!! 😭

A grin spreads on your cheeks as you let out a sigh of relief, thank God... you were expecting this case to be dragged on for a bit as you've seen from the movies but ultimately it wasn't and for the better too!

After sending a message back to her, you couldn't stop yourself from profusely thanking her and her help to which she said it was no problem.

It felt as if a large boulder was lifted from your shoulders as your shoulders dropped. "Oh finally.." You muttered to yourself, closing your phone shut and placing it back down.

"Everything alright?" Kaeya questioned as he stared at your phone and back at you. "You seem quite happy." Looking down at Kaeya you smiled and nodded your head.

"Mhm, I'm really happy right now, it's nothing much don't worry." Kaeya doesn't respond but rather turns around before wrapping his arms around your waist, snuggling his face in your stomach.

You were used to his affection, this was nothing compared to the other things he does. Sigh.

This whole ordeal didn't feel real, you were thankful it was over, yes, but it felt so.. quick. You were feeling uneasy and on edge for weeks but then in a day it just ends?

It didn't feel real, but it was, and you were more than happy. As you were thinking about everything you were dragged out of your thoughts by Cyno's voice.

"Hey Y/N! Want to hear some new jokes I made up just right now?" Cyno's eyes glisten with anticipation as he watches you. "Hmmm, sure why not?" The smile on your face didn't waver as you noticed how giddy Cyno looked, adorable.

Before you knew it you were laughing and tearing up how stupid yet funny Cyno's jokes were, the jokes themselves weren't so.. funny but the way he delivered them sure did something to you.

Cyno stared at you in awe as you clutched your stomach from laughter, wiping away your tears. "W—wait say t-that again! Say it again!" You cried, unable to hold back your laughter.

"Say no more!"

And in the end, you were literally sprawled out on the floor, trying your best to catch a breath. After a couple of minutes you spot Diluc right above you, Diluc crouched down and eyed you.

"Time to get up now, it's not the best to stay down on the dirty floor." You groaned at his words and closed your eyes, you felt fine and it was quite relaxing anyway.

Despite your protests to stay down and relax Diluc repositioned himself and scooped you up like it was nothing in bridal style. Not that you were complaining though.

"How come redhead can carry Y/N but we don't?" Heizou whispered to Aether. "I don't know.. because you don't... try?" "True that.. wait redhead?"

Next thing you know you were resting on Diluc's thighs (a coincidence for Kaeya to be on your thighs and now you're on Diluc's..) and staring at the men (Cyno, Itto, Wriothesley.. managed to pull him in somehow, and Thoma) below you play UNO.

"Hmmm.." You softly hummed to yourself, trying to brainstorm some ideas on what to do tomorrow as it was still the weekend, maybe shopping? No, too boring. Maybe a park...?

A park seemed like a good idea, there was a lot of space and the one you were thinking of going to wasn't too crowded and barely any people went there unless to walk their dogs.

While in your thought you felt Diluc tap your shoulder. "Thinking of something?" He asked, eyes meeting yours. You sigh and turn so that your back is on his thighs. "Yeah, what do you think of going out somewhere tomorrow? Just a park, you know."

"A park, you say?" Diluc repeated as he gave it some thought, it didn't sound too bad, besides, they've been in your house for wayyyy too long.

So why not?

"Of course, I'm sure the rest would be relieved to finally go outside and play around." Diluc held a smile as his eyes waved to the men beside him and around the living room. "I hope it goes well" You mumbled.

"I'm sure it will."

note: ?!?!!? YAY i finally finished it after a month I AM SO SORRY FOR HOLDING IT OFF FOR SO SO LONG

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn  @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @hexvx @saltylovetale-blog @backintomykpopphaseagain @toramune @oreo-ren @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches  @amiaaaaaq @lovelive-animequeen1029 @roseapov  @yurassia @chellazhef  @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations @mini-shower @160ccm @rosariashield @sickize @sarah22447 @dreamlessnight @gimmealamp @bebeluvs @caramelstarlight @sukiidreams @oceanisty @achy-boo @alhaitie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @that-mom-friend  @v-ish  @merormerry @gojoulen03 @scarletttcroww @hadischara @kithewanderingme @keiqq @livelaughlovekuni @chirikoheina @wr1t3rfum1k0 @issacdaholi @yu-ulda @alysinbshsu @vanilla-sweets @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @be-gay-do-crime-ahaha @seipaws @clavichordcleffa @uhhiwassup @youdontneedtoknowlol @the-lazy-perfectionist @isaacdaknight @lucienbarkbark @bizzybkd

(if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter! if i forgot to tag you im so sorry!)

liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[shjsnjkj]

MY SUMMER LOVE┊ p.sh

kinktober day 5! - masterlist

warnings: smut, MDNI, unprotected sex, making out, pussy eating, nicknames, crying

genre: smut

taglist: @blackp1nkfan @mitmit01 @pasteltheghost16 @harukayoiiiiiiizzz @mlywon @lhspeachie @seraphira @kaykay11sworld @winuvs @yuniesluv @shhth @rizzki09 @mylettterstoyou @d-dilemma @moonpri @blushbunini

wc: 2,8k ✧.*

☆ sunghoon x reader ; It was August 31st, and you were heading back home tomorrow because of school. Unfortunately, sleep didn't come easily. Your mind kept replaying all the memories you had with Sunghoon this summer, except for one. The one you'll be making tonight with the help of his camera. “Fly through the deep night to you. In the thick darkness, I will hold you again”

After all that time at university, you were finally ready to travel somewhere. Somewhere you could unwind and leave all your stress from the past few months behind. You considered traveling to a new city or even a country, which seemed like a great idea. However, you didn't have anyone to travel with because your friends had other commitments during the summer. That's when you saw your grandparents coming in sight. You don't get to see them often since they live far away, but you figured it was time for a visit. After all, you went to Hawaii when you were just 10 years old. You really missed your grandparents, but video calling was a great way to keep in touch with them.

That night, you discussed the idea with your parents and purchased the tickets for yourself. In less than a week, you had packed everything you needed into two suitcases and one bag. You brought at least five bikinis and planned to buy more when you got to your destination. You pictured yourself going to the beach every day, making new friends, learning new dances, putting flowers in your hair, drinking coconut water, and doing other fun things. This was all you could think about while you were on the plane.

When you arrived, you first met your grandmother and then your grandfather, who walked behind your grandmother with a beautiful flower lei. They were more than happy to meet you. You received many compliments and hugs from them, which made you happier than ever.

On the ride home, you rolled down the car windows and put your hands out to feel the air hit your fingers and blow your hair. The first surprise to you was the house where your grandparents parked. You didn't understand where you were. You remembered that there was a normal, cute white house with a balcony and a garden in the back, but this house was almost the opposite. At the entrance, it was kind of the same, but there were trees in front of it, so you couldn't see much from the house. When you walked in, you were shocked. The house was huge! Everything was much bigger than before, there was even a pool in the backyard, not to mention the ocean view right behind it. Your bedroom also had a window overlooking the ocean, so you could admire it every time you were there. Your grandmother bought you some bikinis, straw hats and dresses. They were so pretty and you couldn't wait to wear them while you stayed here.

The other day, just before you sat down to eat, a sudden ringing of the bell interrupted you as you were putting the food on the table. Your grandmother went to see who it was, and you continued your task.

"Grandma, who was that?" -when you looked up, she wasn't alone; a boy was standing next to her.

Your eyes widened for a moment at how handsome he was. Jet black hair and deep brown eyes. He was quite tall and slim, yet muscular. You didn't want to be weird, so you looked away. You assumed he was just some neighbor's son asking for something, but your grandmother proved you wrong.

"Y/n do you remember Sunghoon?" -she asked in a soft voice.

"Uhmm, yeah? The boy who was my best friend when I was little, right?"

"Yes, oh you remember. That's good to hear, Y/n" -she became so happy.

"But why are you asking me this now, when we have a guest? What's up with him? Is he doing well?" -you put the silverware next to the plates.

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Come on Grandma, I haven't seen him for ages and I don't even know where he lives anymore. How could I ask him anything?" -A long silence remained between the two of you, and you realized that you could be so stupid to say such things when Park Sunghoon himself stood right in front of you.

"Oh..." -all words stuck in your mouth.

"It's good to see you again Y/n! I missed you a lot!" -he stepped forward and gave you a big hug.

"Oh...Sunghoon...yeah it's nice to see you too!" -you hugged him back, still processing who you had just met.

Sunghoon was your best friend. Or is he still yours? You were not sure.

He, you and your 3 other friends formed a group of friends when you were little. There was nothing to do in the summer and your parents always worked, so you came here every summer and met these amazing people. Unfortunately, your friends moved to another country and you lost touch because you were little, but Sunghoon stayed and the last summer you were here in Hawaii, it was just the two of you, just like now.

He didn't stay for lunch, even though your grandmother tried to convince him, but it might be a good choice. It would be a lot for you at first. Still, you were so curious about Sunghoon. What happened to him over the years, how is he doing, does he have a girlfriend, what's up with his family and things like that. Wait, why did you care if he had a girlfriend?! Anyway, you went out to think about your feelings, accompanied by a tasty strawberry mocktail. You sat there for hours until you fell asleep and the only thing on your mind was Sunghoon.

The next day, you woke up in your room. Out of nowhere, you got up and went to your window to look at the sea, just in time for the sunrise. You were amazed by the beautiful sight when someone came into your sight. You immediately recognized that it was him, Sunghoon. He was sitting on the sand watching the sunrise just like you. Thinking that there was no reason to wait any longer, you wanted to talk to him and decided to go outside. You changed into your white bikini and wore a long white dress over it. You brushed your hair and did your morning routine in the bathroom. Then, as quietly as possible, you went out of the house and looked for Sunghoon. He was still sitting on the sand, wearing a white t-shirt and black pants. He was so good-looking you forgot that and also how much you loved him. You pushed your thoughts away and sat down next to him. He looked at you and smiled softly, then turned his gaze back to the sky.

After a few minutes, he finally began to talk to you. The two of you forgot about time and sat there until lunch. That day, he had lunch with you and was still talking about what had happened in the past years. You couldn't even remember the last time you felt this happy and free, but you knew that this feeling was everything to you and you didn't want it to end.

2 days later, Sunghoon asked you to go swimming in the late afternoon and you agreed. It was so much fun, you joked a lot and dived into the water where you saw beautiful fish and plants. As time passed, you felt more and more attracted to him. Sometimes you went out for dinner, coffee, and there were nights when you went out dancing hula and other dances. Some days you went swimming in the morning and some days you went swimming at night. You felt that Sunghoon must feel the same way because he showed you signs. Every other day, he would bring you a flower to put in your hair, making you blush every time. He took care of you and always brought happiness and a smile to your face.

One night when you went swimming, the two of you became closer. He kissed you for the first time. To be honest, you have been waiting for this moment since you were little and it finally happened. Sunghoon admitted that he felt the same and was ready to take steps towards you, but you stopped to come here. Yes, it was painful for both of you to bury your feelings in your hearts. But it was over and you were free to live your love lives this time. Your grandparents were incredibly happy for you both. They always knew how much you loved each other from the beginning, and they often invited him over for dinner, a day at the pool, or just to be with you. After a month, Sunghoon started sneaking into your room and spending the night with you. Those nights were your favorite because the way he made you feel had the power to make the whole world stand still for you.

All the love you had for each other, you couldn't describe what it did to your heart. And now it was the opposite of what you felt all these months. You just cried at the dinner table and felt that your heart was breaking because you knew that tomorrow morning Sunghoon wouldn't hold you in his arms, you wouldn't go swimming anymore, you wouldn't watch the sunrise anymore, you wouldn't see the lust in his eyes for you, you wouldn't be able to kiss his red lips anymore. At least for a year. It can be easy for someone, but not for you, you hated the idea of spending the days apart and you weren't ready for tomorrow.

Your grandparents tried to comfort you, but the tears didn't stop pouring from your eyes. The best idea was to go to sleep, but the moment you saw your suitcases ready to travel back to your hometown, it started again. Slowly you lay down on your bed and stared at the ceiling for hours because sleep didn't come easily. To be honest, you didn't even want to sleep because tomorrow would come faster and you didn't want that.

Before midnight, you heard your window open. It was Sunghoon.

"My love" - he said

"Sunghoon, what are you doing here?" -you ran to him and hugged him as tightly as ever.

"I know we talked about meeting tomorrow before you go back, but I couldn't be without you tonight Y/n" -he kissed your cheek.

"Do you know how much I cried today? I can't lose you Sunghoon" -tears started to form in your eyes for the nth time tonight.

"Baby, don't cry. It will only get worse. Look, I brought a camera for tonight."

"A camera?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about making a recording tonight. How do you feel about that?"

"How could we forget? That is a perfect idea baby. Let's do it." -you kissed him.

The next second, he put the camera down and started recording while you closed your door.

You kissed Sunghoon hungrily and he returned the kiss. You sucked on his tongue while his hands roamed all over your hot body. Goose bumps formed on your skin as his hands passed over every part of you. Soft moans left your mouth between wet kisses. He moved his left hand under your thigh and lifted your leg a little. You knew what he was going to do so you jumped and crossed your legs on his waist. He moved over to your bed and gently laid you down on the mattress. His kisses went from your lips to your jaw to your neck. You felt a little pain, but it was a good kind of pain. You assumed he was marking you and it made you feel even more lustful. His fangs would certainly leave deeper marks on you, but in no time his fingers traced the inside of your thigh. Sunghoon touched the hem of your dress and pulled your nightgown all the way up over your head. Revealing your already hardened nipples, he only reacted with a smile. He went back to your lower part, surprising you with his finger pressing against your clit over the fabric. "You're already so wet, baby. Let me make you feel better." He gave you a kiss on the lips before pulling off your white panties, which were a little stuck to your folds from the wetness. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart," he whispered before kissing your pussy as he grabbed your waist to keep you still. You felt his tongue doing all the tricks down there, making you tremble and scream inside for his touch. You closed your eyes and soon you felt Sunghoon put two fingers inside your pussy. Slowly he moves them in and out, making you see just starting from this. He watched your every move, all the sounds you made and he couldn't wait to hear your screams. To kiss you while you moan so loudly from the pleasure he gives to you. Sunghoon couldn't wait any longer and stripped off all his clothes. He positioned himself at your entrance and kissed you deeply the moment he pushed himself inside you.

Your folds take him so well that you have to cry out from pleasure. Making Sunghoon's wishes come true. "Don't hold back your beautiful voices Y/n" and right after that you let out a loud moan, hoping that your grandparents are asleep and don't hear anything from your room. Sunghoon just pushed himself deeper and deeper into you with a grin on his bitten lips.

"Sunghoon...mhhm"

"Tell me baby what you want"

"Please..." -you couldn't form a word anymore, just mewing nonstop.

The sounds of your skin, the kisses, the shallow breathing heightened all your senses. You buried your head in the pillows and felt like you were going to cum any second.

"Ahh.. Y/n. You feel so good." -He rolled back his eyes.

A few more thrusts and you came at the same time. His release filled you completely and as he pulled down he was covered with your white release as well. Sunghoon's muscles flexed and he collapsed next to you, sweat dripping from his face. Loud breaths filled the heated room and you could feel the cold night wind on your naked bodies. But it didn't matter, because after you had cleaned up, you were safe and sound in your lover's arms. You felt his breath on your shoulder and his heartbeat on your body. You didn't want this to be over, so you looked at Sunghoon for a few minutes after he fell asleep, capturing this moment in your mind forever.

You woke up early since it was time to go to the airport. Sunghoon was still in your bed but he was up as well. You went down to have a quick breakfast which your grandma made for you, and after he noticed Sunghoon he made another serving for him as well. Your suitcases were in the car and it was time to go. Still, you and Sunghoon were sitting on the sofa, watching the ocean view while making out.

As slowly as possible, you reached the car and Sunghoon gave you a gift bag which he insisted you open when you arrived home.

“My one and only love, please don’t cry too much. I’ll wait for you as much as it takes. I would wait for you until the end of the time because my heart belongs to you forever. Please smile a lot and call me everytime you want, I’ll be here for you Y/n! I’ll love you until the day that I die. Even after that I’ll love you. Here’s a flower for today as well” -he put the pink hibiscus in your hair. The same one he gave to you the first time- “You are the most beautiful human being in my eyes, take care, until we meet again.” -he held your hands and kissed you deeply.

“Sunghoon…” -you touched the flower and started to cry- “Thank you so much for everything, I’ll be back before you know it because life without you will be misery. I love you with all my heart until the end of time. I’ll always love you Park Sunghoon” -you pulled him in for another kiss and then waved him goodbye from the car. The two of you held back your tears but after you drove away you both broke down. You cried as much as you could until you got on your plane and he went back to work.

After a long flight and car ride, you were finally in your room. You put the flower from your hair into a glass box and then checked your messages. Of course, Sunghoon had already sent a lot of messages, but your eyes stayed on the video notification. You knew what was in the video and you couldn't wait to watch it. Before you opened it, you remembered what Sunghoon asked you to do. Open the gift.

Fighting back tears, you opened it. There was a T-shirt sprayed with his perfume, a white plush bunny, and a letter. You didn't hesitate to open it, only to find a ticket from Hawaii to your city with Park Sunghoon's name on it.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Could we get some angst like where fem!reader and dallas get into an argument and/or go on a break but they can’t stand being away from each other and do the whole confession and kiss in the rain cliche?

Mwah mwah chefs kiss love this i dont know how to cw so uhh fem reader?? use of nickname doll??? fight??? idk bro

It was raining. Hard. The soft pitter-patter of the droplets on the window reminds you of reality everytime you start drifting away.

“I don’t understand, who do you take me for?! An idiot?!” You seethed, knuckles turning white from clenching them too hard. “No, you’re not an idiot, you’re a bitch, that’s what you are.” Dally says pointing at you. He was equally as mad, although maybe for a less justified reason. You had seen him hanging around some red-head. It started as a simple question, but one thing led to another and now it was a full blown argument. “You don’t let me have any fun! No parties, no chicks, nuthin’!” He angrily stated. “We’re in a relationship, Dal! There is no chicks! No parties! Oh my God! Can you use your brain for like a minute and think about how I feel!” You say, putting your face in your hands. Dallas gives you a look before shaking his head. 

“That’s it, we’re done.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a cancer stick and a lighter. “Good riddance, toxic asshole” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as he leaves.

You replay the fight in your mind, turning it over like a coin in your hand. Was I in the wrong? You think to yourself. Hell no. You affirmed yourself, if Dallas didn’t show up with an apology, you didn’t need it anyways. There’s a sharp crack against your window that startles you out of your self assurance. Another crack makes you look up. On the third crack you catch what it is. A pebble being thrown at the window. You look down at your lawn trying to catch a glimpse of who would be stupid enough to throw pebbles at your window during a storm. Dallas. Of course. Dallas was stupid enough. You quickly open the window, forcing it open quickly. A pebble wizzes by your face and you shoot Dally an unimpressed look. “What do you want, Dallas,” You say. Please, don’t stand in the rain, you’ll catch a cold. Your mind betrays you, you still care about him. “Let’s talk.” He say, voice slightly shaking, although you don’t know if its because of the cold or because he hasn’t seen you in forever. “You’re not stepping foot into my house while you're soaking wet.” His lips quirk up at that, there’s the girl he knows. “Would you like to come down then?” You make a show of mulling it over, although you already know the answer. The jacket is already in your hand by the time you're down the stairs and reaching for your keys. You quickly slip it on and rush out of the house. The rain soaks you before you’ve even reached Dal, the wind picking up speed and the rain turning into heavier droplets. He stands taller than you, by quite a bit actually, but his shoulders sag when you reach him. There’s a few seconds of silence, except for the torrent of rain that was battering both you and him. “I miss you.” He says, quietly. “That’s sweet.” There was a pause before Dally took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I messed up big time.” “You seem to do that a lot” You interject. He gives you a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I do. But I’m so sorry, really. It’s kind of hard adjusting to a ‘relationship’. I just thought that I could get a head start if..” his voice goes quiet, “if you ever decided to leave me like Sylvia. I thought I could prove I was a tuff guy. I’m not tuff, not really. Especially when it comes to you. I really hate that I’m turning soft or whatever..” He looked up at you, his usually harsh eyes were unexpectedly innocent. “Dallas, you can’t keep thinking that I’m going to morph into Sylvia. I’m not Sylvia, you’ve got to understand, you can’t keep letting this front our relationship.” You hugged your jacket tighter around you. “You’re right, you're not Sylvia, you’re so much more, so much better than she will ever be.” and before you could react his hands moved to your face and he pulled you in. The kiss was, dare I say, “magical”, resparking feelings that you had tried to put out for the whole time Dally was missing from your life. You pulled away quickly. “Please, doll, I’m so sorry for everything, I’m ready to be a better boyfriend, don’t pull away from me.” He nearly sobs. You roll your eyes and take your keys from out of your jacket pocket. “As much as I love the ‘kiss in the rain’ cliche, it’s fucking cold out here Dal,” you smile at him, taking his hand. He wraps his arm around your neck pulling you in again. His hand slips into yours and you realize how warm it is in his arms.

[666writingcafe]

New Voice Messages (Part Three)

Lucifer

"Hey. I know it's late and you're probably asleep, so you don't have to respond to this right away. I should be asleep, but I keep tossing and turning whenever I try, so I gave up on that hours ago. I'm currently sitting on the rooftop, looking up at the night sky. Well, and recording this message, but that's self-explanatory, I feel. *sighs* Don't mind my rambling. I'm both incredibly tired and slightly tipsy. I finally got around to trying the bottle of Demonus that Diavolo gave us as a housewarming gift, and it's pretty decent. I had a couple glasses of it before coming up here, thinking that it'd help put me to sleep. Obviously, it hasn't, but it was worth trying, I suppose. I at least feel like I can respond to your note without choking on my words or banging my head in frustration. *briefly pauses* Given the way you signed off on it, I'm going to assume that you trust me enough to not abuse your old name. That's also why I'm outside. Less likely to be overheard using it by my brothers. If that's okay with you. If it's not, feel free to tell me off for it the next time we meet. So, MC. *pauses again before lightly singing MC's name* Have I ever told you it's a pretty name? Saying it is comforting somehow. *clears his throat* Sorry. Like I said, I'm a bit drunk."

"Feeling more in control now. Might still ramble a bit, but hopefully not as much as before. *takes a deep breath* The first time I read your note, I ended up crying. Not because you said something wrong, but because it was...sweet? Is that the word I'm looking for? *briefly pauses as a gust of wind gets picked up on the mic* It'll have to do for now, I guess. Anyway...it's interesting how you and Diavolo said more or less the same thing, and yet I'm more inclined to listen to you than I am to him. Perhaps it's the difference in tone? I could definitely tell that he was getting frustrated with me towards the end of our phone call. I know there's a part of him that sees me as a really shiny toy, one that he's quite territorial over. If I were to leave his side, he'd throw a massive fit, I'd imagine, and he might start a war over it. Which is silly. I'm not worth fighting over. *pauses* And yet everyone seems to for some reason. It's like I cause people to lose their minds. I don't know if it's due to the amount of titles and prestige I've had or my physical appearance or something else entirely, but they seem to all go into hysteria after spending any significant amount of time with me. Except for you, MC. You don't care about Lucifer Morningstar, former Lightbringer, Avatar of Pride, yadda yadda yadda. You simply see me as me, if that makes sense. You want to make sure that I'm okay, and you don't expect anything in return. It's a way of repaying back the kindness bestowed upon you in your situation, I suppose. And it'd be cruel of me to ignore all of that and still plunge to my death. So I'm staying. *pauses* You're right. This does feel weird. You better make good on your promise, MC, or I may end up changing my mind again. *chuckles* Don't take that last part too seriously. I'm merely messing with you a bit."

"You know, I wonder what my brothers are thinking about this...offer being made to us. I already know Mammon and Beel would stay, and Belphie's going to do whatever Beel does, but I'm not sure about Levi and Asmo. I mean, you were there when Asmo was yelling at me about leaving the Celestial Realm. Do you think he's eagerly packing his bags as we speak, or--"

A Few Hours Later

"Sorry about the abrupt ending of my last message. Mammon caught me on the rooftop. We ended up talking for a while. *pauses* The two of us have an interesting relationship. Kinda similar to the one I have with Satan. Mammon's sort of my brother and sort of my son, except he didn't spring out of me like Satan did. He's the first angel I felt the need to protect. Everyone else was prepared to throw him away, even though he was merely a child. I couldn't sit back and let them treat him like that, especially not after I held him in my arms as he was crying. He was around the Chihuahua's age when that happened. *clears his throat* I apologize. I know you don't like me calling Luke a chihuahua. I really am trying not to. *pauses* So yeah. Satan's technically the third oldest, since he came into existence in my mind shortly after I took Mammon under my wing. Levi came into the picture when Mammon was a teenager, and the others when he was just becoming a fully-grown angel. *pauses again* It was actually Mammon that insisted that we take care of them, and he was so earnest about it that I couldn't say no. I mean, the fact that he was willing to do for others what I've done for him...I was quite proud of him. Still am, even though he insists on putting on a persona these days. I know deep down, he still cares about everyone. *pauses yet again* Is it weird that I feel comfortable sharing all of this with you, MC? It might be the alcohol still affecting me, but somehow I don't think it is. I...I think I've come to trust you. Completely. I haven't even gotten there with Diavolo yet, and I've known him a lot longer. *chuckles* You truly are special, little lamb. *silence* Shit. That wasn't supposed to be said out loud. I better go before I start calling you more silly nicknames. Good night, MC."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix

[a-spes]

T H E B L O O D O N M Y H A N D S - One shot.

Words count - 3,2k.

Tags & Warnings - Natasha Romanoff x reader, angst / comfort, a form of self-harm, mentions of death and blood.

Summary - When you kill someone on duty for the first time, Natasha is the one being here to stop you from falling.

— — — — —

You haven’t been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for long, barely more than three years. It may seem long for some people but, in that kind of job, it is not. Although your training ended up a long time ago, your teammates are still calling you a Rookie because even after years of duty, you still have a lot of things to learn, some the hard way.

You guess this nickname will stick with you until a new recruit joins the agency. It has been three years that no one passed the entrance exam so you are still seen as the newest addition which pisses you off sometimes. It is frustrating to not be taking seriously just because you are a bit less experienced than your teammates, some of them only been on the agency for one more year than you but are acting cocky with it.

However, despite your teammates’ attitude, you are convinced you are right where you are supposed to be : even if some days are rough, you love this job. Honestly, you never planned to join the agency but now you are here, you don’t want to leave.

You have always dreamed about becoming a police officer, not some kind of governmental spy. You ended up here thanks to a bit of fate and, mostly, thanks to the help of one of your professors. At the police academy, you were doing great, you were among the best of your promotion, that is why Mr. Andrews suggested you to take the entrance exam for the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. Before that day, you had never heard about the agency, but you still decided to give it a try, it was the least you could do to thanks him for everything he did.

Surprisingly, you succeed the exam and earned a place at the academy, alongside with two of your classmates. You weren’t sure it was what you wanted to do, but it was probably your only chance to give it a try so you went to the academy, thinking you could always leave if it doesn’t suit you. Yet, it has been the best decision you made.

Surely, you doubted it sometimes, thinking about quitting because the training was so hard, both physically and mentally, that you thought you couldn’t take it anymore. But you stayed, not being alone helped you a lot so, even if you doubted a lot your decision, you never regretted it.

Until today.

One day was enough to change everything. The first rule in the job is that you know nothing. Every mission is different, every mission could go wrong at any moment, it is impossible to be prepared to what it could bring to you. After three years of duty, you tend to forget about that rule. Up to now, everything went smooth, except for a few injuries you got, you were lucky.

It was supposed to be a routine mission, not much different than the previous ones. Your team was supposed to take back some important documents, so you needed to infiltrate the hotel the guys who stole it were staying.

“I get it”, you whisper in the communication device.

But when you are about to leave the room, you hear the voices of two persons. You don’t have much time, so you decide to quickly hide under the bed, you wish there was a better place but all you can do is waiting here, praying they won’t notice your presence. However, it seems fate is not on your side tonight.

After maybe ten minutes of waiting that felt like an eternity, you eventually feel someone pulling you from under the bed by grabbing your legs. You may be a qualified agent, but they are way more experienced than you are. You were listening to their conversation but yet, you couldn’t have guessed they knew you were here the whole time. Racing heart and irregular breath are the signs of panic, but you can’t let those take the control of your body, fear is a synonym to death. Take a deep breath, think and attack before they can.

It is quite easy to escape the man’s grasp because he wasn’t expecting you to be so fast. But the man wasn’t the problem, it was the woman with him. She was aiming that gun at you while you were fighting with her mate, not shooting yet because she could’ve killed him instead, but as soon as you stand up, she doesn’t hesitate anymore.

It was a reflex.

She missed the first bullet because of the circumstances, because she couldn’t clearly target you so the bullet passed closed enough. Except she doesn’t look like someone that misses an easy shot and you don’t look like someone who wants to die so you shoot first.

It was a reflex.

It is the first you kill someone on duty. Three years of duty during whose you ensured that you wouldn’t kill anyone. You get them out of the way, you hurt them, sometimes you knock them out like you just did with that guy but you never took a life. But tonight you did, for the first time. Tonight, you didn’t aim for that woman’s leg but for her chest, right where her heart is, she died almost on the spot. It feels awful.

On the way back to the base, you are silent. Your teammates don’t even notice how quiet you are tonight. The two sitting on the front of the car are talking, the last one is humming some music. The mood is light because the mission was a success: you did bring back those documents. So why aren’t you joyful? You don’t know, but tonight you don’t feel like joking, laughing and jumping around as you usually would.

Tonight, you won’t celebrate with your mates because there is nothing to celebrate. A woman died. It doesn’t matter which side she was on or if she was aiming that gun at your head because you shoot and it makes you no better than the people you despise. When you joined the Academy, it was to save civilians, to make something good about your life, you wanted to feel useful and make a difference. So from the moment you became an agent, you avoid killing people. A part of you knew that, one day, wouldn’t let you choose but you didn’t think much about it; if after three years you didn’t kill anyone, it’ll may stay that way until you end your career.

Oh, how naive you were.

Maybe you are too gentle for that world. Your mates kill people and you never saw them hesitating, so what’s wrong with you? Can’t your mind just shut up? It is not that a big deal, is it? It is supposed to be your job, you did what you had to, right? So why does it still feel wrong?

You are a person that easily slip on other people’s shoes. Those people called villains are nothing more than people that got lost at a moment in their lives, people that were failed by the system or made a wrong choice, does it mean they deserve to die? Some of them, maybe, but definitely not that woman. She was barely older than you are, she had a whole life to live but she will never get you because of you, because you decided she didn’t deserve to live.

It is something your superiors often blame you for: your inability to shot when it is needed. It is not because it led to failed mission, but because it caused you a lot of injuries that could have been avoid. They never understood why you were so reluctant to do so, sometimes they are angry, sometimes just disappointed. But tonight you eventually did exactly what they are expecting from you. That’s what you are repeating to yourself but it doesn’t make you feel any better, if you hate the idea of disappointing Agent Romanoff, your superior, you probably hate your actual situation even more.

This moment is playing again and again on your mind, making you oblivious of your surrounding. The sound of her body falling is covering your mates’ voices. The way her chest raised one last time before she stopped moving, the way her eyes were wide open and the blood. Everywhere. On the ground, on her suit, on your hands. A bit of your own, but mostly of her, who knew a body contains so much blood? Not you.

When you are finally back at the compound, the redhead is here. Even if you are not a trainee anymore, you are still a rookie until they decide otherwise and she will probably be your mentor for a few more years. And being your mentor means that wherever you are, she is. Today was your first mission alone. Well, you weren’t really alone, you had your usual team by your side but she wasn’t here. At first, she didn’t want to let you go, wherever she is, you are, but she let herself be convinced. This mission couldn’t wait more, neither could the emergency call she got.

The mission was easier than some you did by the past, she knows you are capable but still, she can’t get over that strange feeling, being scared for you security. She knows she can trust you but can she really trusts your mates? She is stressing over the fact that, for the first time, she isn’t here to protect you.

She is now regretting her choice, it was irresponsible from her to agree to such a demand. She has no idea what exactly happened during the mission but she heard that things didn’t go as smoothly as they were supposed too. She is pacing back and forth on the garage, waiting for your team to come back. She tried to get more information from Fury, but he doesn’t know much more than what he already told her.

A few hours later, the team is eventually back. When her eyes catch you, she is relieved: you seem fine. Her relief only lasts a moment as she quickly notices something is off with your attitude. You ignored her, didn’t even looked for her as you would usually do.

“What happened?” she asks to one of the agents that was on the mission. She grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to look at her, she is taking the whole situation seriously.

“She fired”, he replies, shrugging.

The man doesn’t really understand why it is such a big deal to you, after three years, you should be used to that kind of things happening in a mission. However, Natasha immediately understood.

She rushes to find you but it is already too late. She can’t find you on the locker room, neither she can on your dorm or on the common areas. It is on the shared bathroom that she eventually finds you. She can’t help but being worried. She was really young when she killed for the first time, but she still remembers how it feels, years don’t take away the guilt and the disgust. The difference is that she never got a chance to think too much about it, she was raised to kill, it felt almost normal after a while, she got used to that feeling You, however, are not of that kind. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are: you are not a murder.

“What are you doing?” she asks, frowning when she saw you here.

Scrubbing. That is what you are doing and the only thing left in your mind, you are just obsessed with the idea of cleaning your hands. So you are scrubbing. You are scrubbing until the water turns clear but it doesn’t, it stays red and bloody. It seems there is always more blood on your hands.

You are so focused that you didn’t even hear the woman coming in. Your ears are ringing and your vision is blurry because of the tears in your eyes, the only thing you can see clearly is the blood, all this red. You are using a nail brush in hope it would help you get it of the dirt? but it doesn’t. It just hurts.

A pain that you ignore.

A pain that you feel like you deserved it, like it is the only way to get those memories out of your mind, even if it is just for a moment, you are glad to be able to focus on something.

However, Natasha is not. As soon as she realizes what you are doing, she steps in. She turns the water off, wrapping her hands around yours to make you stop, as her attempts to talk to you failed. She slowly takes the soap and the brush from your hands, putting it on the sink.

For a few minutes, you remain silent. You don’t even dare to look at her in the eyes, how could you? The guilt and the shame make you avoid her gaze, a part of you being scared about what she could say or think. Maybe she sees you exactly as you do right now: pathetic and horrible.

“Let’s clean those wounds”, she eventually says in a quiet voice that surprises you because you thought she would be angry and yell at you. Or maybe it is what you wished she would do. It is easier to hate yourself when people do too.

But she doesn’t.

On the contrary, she is sweet and caring, an attitude that is rarely hers, Agent Romanoff not being someone showing that she cares the usual way. She is usually demanding with the people she cares for but she understands that tonight you don’t need that. Right now, what you need is someone by your side, someone to guide you through that situation.

So she makes you sit on a stool. You don’t protest, there is something good in not having to think about what to do next. She comes back with a few seconds later with medical kit. She sits in front of you and, in silence, she starts to take care of your hands. You scrubbed them for so long and with so much pressure that the blood at the end wasn’t the woman’s anymore. It was yours because the brush scratched your hands.

“Here we are”, she says once she is done. She cleaned your wounds with alcohol and then applied bandages on your hands. She seems to want to add something, but she hesitates. “Do you want to talk about it?” she eventually asks.

You shake your head, no. You don’t want to talk about it, you don’t want to hear about it, you don’t even want to think about what happened today. If it was possible, you would like to erase this day from your mind or turn back in time so you can change the outcome, but you can’t.

Natasha sighs but she doesn’t push, she knows it is not the solution. Instead, she guides you to her quarters.

“It is not my room”, you remark when you get here. It is a one person room, one of the privileges of being a superior.

“No, it’s not”, she acknowledges, “but I am not leaving your side.”

“You don’t need to do that, I am gonna be fine”, but she doesn’t let you go. As you try to leave the room, she firmly hold you by the arm. You staying here wasn’t a question, not even an invitation, it was more of an order.

“No, you are not. And after what happened I don’t trust you, at least not tonight”, she tells you and she is not joking at all. She has that serious expression and you know she won’t take no as an answer. You want to be alone, but deep down you are relieved you won’t spend the night alone.

She helps you take off your suit. She then helps you to put on some of her clothes, a short and a t-shirt, so you are ready to go to sleep. It is already late, midnight was long gone. She guides you to the bed, it is a bit small but it is just for one night and you don’t seem to protest, you just let her guide you, your mind being far away.

The two of you are leaning in the bed in silence. Her chest pressing against your back, her head near to yours. She is holding you firmly, as if she was scared you could run away. You stay in that position for a moment before your voice breaks the silence.

“I- I don’t even know her name, I barely saw her face and-” you eventually say, feeling the need to let a bit of what is in your mind out. You are exhausted, but you can’t even close your eyes to try to sleep, those memories and thoughts keeping you wide awake.

“it’s okay”, she whispers in your ear. She is not sleeping either, too worried about you for that. She already knows that she is going to stay awake the whole night to keep an eye on the woman she is holding in her arms.

“No!” you yell. You can’t stand how calm she is. “No it’s not, how could it be okay? I killed her. I killed a woman and I don’t even know who she was.”

“It happens, sometimes, you have no choice”, she continues to talk in a quiet voice, soothing you by stroking your hair. She knows nothing she could say right now would make it easier. You need time and support, all she can do is being here and let you know she is.

“I do, I should’ve aimed for her limb or…”, you start, but you can’t even finish your sentence. You feel your throat tighten, your voice broke on the last few words.

“You did exactly what you had to. You did exactly what you had to stay alive. I know it is hard but you will get through it, okay? And I am gonna be here, with you, the whole time”, she whispers again in your ear, her voice calming a bit the storm in you.

This is how you eventually fell asleep. In the comfort of the arms of that woman, with a feeling of security. The way her hand is brushing your hair calming your mind until Morpheus accepts you in his realm. The words she is whispering in your ears are helping to ease the guilt and the hate. However, Natasha won’t sleep. She is going to stay awake the whole night just so she can be here if you wake up needing her, no matter what time of the night it is, she wants to make sure you are not alone because it is the worst in situations like this.

[acey-wacey]

OMG congrats on the milestone!!!!!!

So excited you're back too, missed seeing you on my feed!

For the event, if it's not too much trouble, could I get

Hyacinth with Either Ace or Trey? Don't stress if you got nothing for it, and feel free to ignore if you need to!

CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!

Thank you for participating, lovely! I'm actually so thrilled to be back too! I forgot how much I loved writing and hopefully I'll be here for a little longer before my fall semester starts and I get swamped.

...

Pairing - Trey Clover x Reader

Prompt - Arranged Marriage

"Alright, Y/N, you can do this."

You whispered a pep talk to yourself as you rolled up your sleeves. You looked up at the stone wall before you and gulped at its imposing height. It was 8, maybe 10 feet, which wouldn't have been that bad if you weren't in a dress. There were many things that could go wrong. You could lose your footing and fall to injury if not your death and if you were caught trying to sneak out, you would likely be punished harshly.

"Certain doom, marriage to a stranger," you weighed the two options in your head. At least if you died, you would be free of the dreaded prince you were meant to wed. "Definitely certain doom."

It wasn't as though you had anything in particular against the Prince of Clubs. Very few of his subjects had anything bad to say about him, except that he was a notorious flirt. You didn't really remember what his name was nor had you ever seen what he looked like so he was a complete stranger.

He wasn't the exact problem, it was the principle of it all. Your parents had practically sold you to the Club Kingdom, knowing you would never find a match better than a prince. Your mother was a countess of Hearts, high enough on the hierarchy to be rich but not enough to really be important. You had no idea how she had bullied the poor Prince of Clubs into actually accepting your hand. No matter how comfortable your life was going to be in the Club Kingdom, you refused to be a bargaining chip for your parent's power and wealth.

You hiked up your skirt and set your foot on the first foothold you could find. Luckily, the stones of the wall stuck out in some places so it wasn't too difficult to gain your footing. You huffed with newfound confidence and continued up the wall, grasping at the harsh stone. You were definitely going to have blisters after this.

About halfway up, you realized you had run out of footholds. The closest one was closer to your head than your feet and you didn't know whether to risk it.

"Giving up isn't an option," you thought with determination as you braced yourself. You swung your leg up and exclaimed in joy when it caught the high brick.

It didn't take long for your excitement to wear off once you realized you were quite stuck. You groaned and tried to pull yourself up by the leg but you couldn't seem to get enough leverage.

"Son of a-!"

"Hello, my lady."

A deep voice from behind you made you freeze in your tracks.

"Are you in need of assistance?"

You huffed and tried to pull yourself up once more, your leg beginning to lose feeling as the blood rushed from it. When you failed, you slumped back to your very uncomfortable resting position.

"No, sir, thank you!" you called, praying that the person was not a guard who would take you to the prince.

"Are you sure?" the voice asked. "You appear to be in quite the pickle."

You tried to look back at the man who had walked in on your escape attempt, but you could move very far without losing your grip.

"If you're really asking, I am a bit stuck."

"I can see that." You could hear the smile in his voice.

"Well?" you called expectantly. "Are you going to offer your assistance or just stand there gawking? I wonder how you can call yourself a gentleman!"

The man laughed and you heard him step closer.

"I would never want my status as a gentleman to be in question. How many I help, my lady?"

You shifted around, suddenly aware of the fact that your dress had ridden up around your thigh where your foot hung helplessly from the stone in the wall.

"Perhaps if you gave me a boost, I could make it over the wall," you deliberated, gauging how much farther you needed to climb. "Yes, one last push should do it. Climbing down the other way should be much easier. If you grab me by the waist and lift me up, I should be able to make it."

"You must forgive me my questioning, but might I ask why you are attempting to climb the palace walls?" the man said, now directly behind you. "Perhaps I should be worried. You are not a prisoner, are you?"

"I will be if I do not make it out of here before the wedding," you called down, getting quite frustrated with this inquisitive stranger. "Will you not help me? My leg is getting quite exhausted and I would hate to fall from this height.

"Is there any particular reason you must leave before the prince's wedding? Do you hold disdain for him?"

You scoffed at that.

"Do I?! I've never met the man and yet my entire life will be lost to the most insufferable and determined flirt in all of Wonderland!"

"Is that what they say about him?" the man laughed out loud and you briefly wondered what his smile looked like.

"It matters not what they say, only what he is," you huffed, growing more irritated by the second. "My waist, if you please."

You heard a soft chuckle before you felt strong hands grasp your waist and lift you up, freeing your leg from its perch. You were so thrilled to be free you almost didn't notice you were being pulled back down.

"Hey, hey, hey!" you yelled as you were set back to your feet, not without quite a bit of kicking and squirming on your part. "I told you to lift me over!"

You whirled around and were immediately met by the brightest hazel eyes you had ever seen. You gasped at the closeness of the man, though it shouldn't have surprised you, considering he just practically picked you up.

Your mental picture of what the mysterious stranger looked like did not do him justice. He was taller than you expected, with dark green hair and a gentle smirk on his face. You were so encapsulated by your savior(?) that it took you about 10 seconds of staring to notice the club painted on his cheek. You were filled with momentary anxiety, assuming he was a courtier of Clubs. Hopefully, if he was close to the king and queen, his good nature so far was an indication that he wouldn't call the guards on you.

"You refuse to help a lady in distress, good sir?" you straightened defiantly, refusing to let your moment of weakness and the man's closeness incapacitate you. "Though you would save her from a lifetime of misery?"

"Come now, misery is a bit harsh," he smiled with insufferable knowing, like you were missing a joke. "I'm only a prince, not a dragon."

"Yes, well, you-"

You stopped short. He was... the prince? Your eyes widened and you dropped to your knees as you realized all the things you had said about him.

"Please forgive me, your highness," you stuttered, keeping your eyes glued to the dirt as your feet. The best case scenario at this point was not being executed. After all, the Queen of Hearts was so fond of her guillotine, perhaps the Queen of Clubs had her own special device for taking care of rule-breakers. "I know my impertinence cannot be forgiven, but I only ask that you punish only me and not my family. I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit."

A hand grabbed yours, lifting your gaze to the man, no, the prince, in front of you. Despite all your expectations, he was smiling.

"Apparently, being married to me is punishment enough," he laughed exasperatedly. He pulled you to your feet and bowed curtly. "Hello, Y/N. I'm Trey."

"Forgive me, your highness-"

"Trey," he said, his eyes sincere.

"Prince Trey-"

"Just Trey," he interrupted again. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it ever so slightly. "If we are to be married, we may as well be on a first name basis."

"Sorry, your- Trey." You had expected his name to feel odd in your mouth but it didn't feel that way. It suited him much more than any honorific you could think of. "So... you will not punish me?"

"If you will not rest until I do, then I sentence you to dinner," he smiled, a glimmer of mischief hidden in the gold of his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Dinner?"

"With me," he finished, amused at your shocked expression. "You see, I would like to get to know you before I share the rest of my life with you. That is where most people start with these sorts of things."

You were stunned silent by how nonchalantly he spoke, almost as if he really were just a lowly courtier attempting to court the countess' daughter.

"I-" you could barely bring yourself to speak. Trey raised his eyebrow in amusement which only flustered you more. "I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"Dinner would be an acceptable punishment."

Trey smiled and offered his arm to you. You took it hesitantly, still stiff as he walked you back to the palace you had just been so desperate to escape.

"Do people really say I'm an insufferable and determined flirt?"

[textualdesires]

Rebound

Xavier Thorpe x gn!telekinetic!Reader, mentions of Rowan Laslow x Reader (pre-death)

Xavier does not want to be your rebound. Except being your rebound is not half as bad with what comes with it.

I love this work, I gotta say. Reader is popular and with the nightshades. This is so adorable and my heart aches for both of these soft boys. Also completely gn! smut so it can be read as male, female or any other identity!

Categories: angst, fluff, mutual pining, smut with a plot?

Warnings: mild swearing, mentions of blood and murder, oral (m receiving), penetration, nudity, marking, size kink, use of powers in the bedroom, spit ig?, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!)

Enjoy!

————————————————————————————————————

Your heart ached as you once again laid on his bed, tears streaming down your face. It’s been a few weeks since Rowan left. Or supposedly left. You knew he wouldn’t just leave. Wouldn’t just leave you behind.

You and Rowan had always been an odd couple. You were a popular telekinetic, had mastered your craft early. And he was the asthmatic kid, the outcast of outcasts.

You had first met him at the nightshades. Yoko, one of the first people you clicked with, had dragged you along soon after you joined Nevermore. He didn’t seem to fit in even there.

There was a deeper connection the two of you shared. Like even your powers were connected. Like you were meant to be together. He was rooted deep in your head. In your soul. In your head.

It had become a habit of yours to go to his dorm when you missed him. You would lie in his sheets, hold them close for as long as they still smelled like him. You didn’t come as often nowadays, but when it all became too much, you still did. It’s been so long the scent almost faded.

Xavier usually wouldn’t mind. You two had been friends for a long time. Hell, you and Rowan had been there for him when things ended with Bianca. It’s why he was there for you now.

He would always allow you to be there when you needed to. Would sit next to you and hold your hand to soothe you. Would climb into the bed with you if you hurt too much. He was there for emotional support. But this time it was him who needed it.

“Fuck!”

The door to the room swung closed hard, startling you. Xavier let his body fall against the door frame, sliding down to lean against it. You hadn’t seen him so upset in a long time. Not since Bianca.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked through teary eyes.

“Oh- I- didn’t know you were here. It’s nothing really.”

“Hey, just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you.”

Softly you climbed over to him, dragging along the small blanket you had once bought Rowan. It always reminded you of the good times, of how much he loved you. It soothed you.

You wrapped it around Xaviers shoulders, sitting in front of him now. His eyes were watering with rage. You didn’t press him on telling you. He wouldn’t pressure you either. If he wanted to tell you, he would. You just put a hand on his leg, carefully looking at him.

“It’s Wednesday. She- had asked me to the Raven.”

“I remember. You were quite happy she did.”

“Yes and that’s why- ugh, I hate her.”

You knew that wasn’t true. You knew Xavier found the new girl intriguing. You couldn’t say the same for yourself. You couldn’t even look at her without being jealous. Being hurt.

You were jealous because she was the one who heard Rowan’s last words. And she was partly the reason he was gone. You believed her when she told you about what happened. You knew Rowan had slowly lost control of his powers and drifted off. You wish you could have stopped it. Could have saved him.

“She only asked me to cover for snooping around the shed. She never wanted to take me in the first place. And now I’m not sure I even want to go to that stupid ball.”

Xavier didn’t deserve this. To be treated like a last resort, or someone to play with. You grabbed his face now, forcing him to look at you.

“Xavier Thorpe. I’ve known you for so long. I know that there will be more people asking you to the dance. And I know that you’re an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to be your date to the ball. And if Wednesday can’t see that, she’s blind.”

Xavier put his hand over yours, grabbing it as a sign of gratitude. Cause he was thankful to have you. You two had become so close lately, he couldn’t even imagine what it would be like without your soothing voice, always saying the right things. A soft smile spread on his lips.

“I can really see what Rowan saw in you. Hell, I would be just as clingy as he was.”

“Oh shut up!”

————————————————————————

It had been two weeks and the Raven was slowly approaching. It was this weekend and slowly even you were stressed. You didn’t want to go at first, but frankly, you were sick and tired of grief.

Rowan wouldn’t have wanted you to spend any night crying in his old room. He wouldn’t have wanted you to hide from the crowds on a day as important as the Raven. He probably would have even told you, how you were too beautiful and lovely not to go.

You wanted to go with your friends at first. Unfortunately they had all found dates already. They hadn’t thought you wanted to go and made other plans. You weren’t mad, it was understandable. But you really didn’t feel like playing third wheel to any of them.

You could have of course just asked out some of the other people at school. At your best, you were popular, kind and social. It was unlikely you’d get turned down. But you didn’t feel like asking a stranger.

No, frankly, this was hard enough as it was. For you to finally go out there again after pulling back from all extracurricular activities, from any social contact let alone romance? It wasn’t easy.

There was only one plausible option left.

You had spotted him once again working on one of his famous murals. You loved them really. They were beautiful, always intricate and thought through. You admired how he could just whip up something like this.

He was currently busy walking away from you. You had flat out lead with a question, asking him if he had a date to the raven yet. When he realized what you entailed he immediately walked away from you.

“Xavier, please, would you just listen?”

“No! I am not some sort of rebound that you can ask because everyone else is already gone, I am not-“

“Listen to me, goddammit!”

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around to look at you. Hell, half the courtyard was probably looking at you now. You were quite loud. You didn’t even mean to yell.

“I’m not even gonna pretend you are my first choice.”

“Wow, a real confidence boost, [Y/N].”

You grabbed his wrist before he could even leave this time. You wouldn’t give up that easily, not without explaining. You had thought about this a lot.

“You know Rowan was and always will be my first choice. But he’s not here. And he won’t come back, no matter what you believe happened. I am trying to not let that affect me anymore.”

Xavier looked at you with sorry eyes. He knew how upset you still were, you had come over to cry even more in the last days. He would sometimes just find you passed out on Rowan’s bed and put a blanket over you. He felt pity for you.

“If Rowan was here right now, he would think we’re both insane for not going. Hell, his roommate and partner, skipping the school’s biggest event? He would call us idiots.”

A small laugh escaped Xaviers lungs at the mental image of Rowan yelling at the two of you. Yeah, he would have his opinions. About how being popular was a privilege that you shouldn’t risk, how you should not care about him and go anyways.

“There is no one here I would rather go to the Raven with. I’m not asking you as a rebound or a second choice. I’m asking you because I trust you. Because you’re amazing. You have been the closest person to me since Rowan… whatever happened to him, you were there to catch me before falling through the cracks.”

He looked at you now, a smile on his face. You had never told him just how much you appreciated him. It made his hurt heart warm, a fuzzy feeling in his stomach as he saw a tiny bit of a smile on your face. He had missed that on you. You used to be so very bright and for the first time in forever, there seemed to be a spark in your eyes.

“It’s a shame that Wednesday missed out on this. On you. But if she really for one second thinks you’re a bad person, she’s insane. I know you and what you’ve been doing is the kindest thing I’ve ever witnessed. So I’m asking you as a friend. Will you go to The Raven with me?”

The silence in his face drove you crazy. You hated waiting for answers. Hated seeing his emotionless face. The facade didn’t last long as he grinned. He had made his decision a long time ago. And frankly, there was no other option for him, either.

“Of course I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you! Xavier, you’re the best!”

With a screech you fell around his neck and he caught you from stumbling by snaking his arms around your waist. The full blown smile on your lips was enough to make his cheeks go warm. He softly rested his head on yours.

Had he always felt this fuzzy when around you?

———————————————————————

You looked absolutely stunning in all white. Bianca, Yoko and Kent had taken you shopping some while back and frankly, hanging out with friends was just what you needed. You were almost excited for today, even when a small part of you couldn’t help but miss Rowan.

You had worn the necklace he bought you for an anniversary once. The silver went perfectly with your white outfit. You wondered what he would have worn. A suit, of course. You would have helped him pick out accessories, would have helped him with his hair.

A soft tear slipped your eyes but you pushed it away almost immediately when you saw your friends coming to you. They had pregamed in the nightshade library, but you didn’t feel like coming. It was too painful still to go in there without him. He loved the library, loved the quietness of the place.

“Damn, [Y/N]? Is that really you?” Ajax joked and you grinned at the compliment.

“Yoko and I made our best efforts to get rid of the sadness for at least one night.” Bianca called with a grin.

It was true. Lately you’d been walking around unkempt. Your uniform way too big as you usually wore his blazer, a thing you would get in trouble for frequently. You always had the biggest dark circles, your cheeks were puffy from all the crying.

Today, none of that was present.

Xavier was in the back, a white suit hanging loosely along his wide frame. He was so much taller than Rowan, you sometimes forgot. But when you hugged him hello, it became obvious to you again. He smelled good, had put on some cologne.

“You do look amazing. It’s good to see you like this.”

He barely whispered it into your ear but it was enough to bring shivers down your spine. All the compliments, all the smiles from your friends and the way Xavier couldn’t stop looking at you. It made you feel incredible for the first time in a while.

You enjoyed yourself, dancing and drinking some of the unspiked drinks. You and your friends always kept in close proximity on the dancefloor as Xavier spun you around, making sure you only focused on him for now. God, you felt good.

Until Wednesday Addams made her entry.

You figured she wasn’t gonna wear all white. Dresscodes didn‘t matter to her. Much less did it matter to her who she took to the dance apparently. Your eyes narrowed in anger as you spotted Tyler.

You barely knew him, had met him at the coffee shop a few times. But you knew the way him and his friends would ridicule Rowan. Or Xavier. They tried with you, but stopped when you saw you weren’t affected by it.

It wasn’t fair, how they picked on the outcasts. For being different, for being someone else. To them, Rowan was an easy target. But you always defended him. And Tyler had fun being horrible to them.

You looked up at Xavier, who had just become awfully tense. His gaze was fixed on Wednesday, on the way her hips swung as she danced with Tyler. God, he was so hurt. You wrapped your hands around his neck, bringing his focus back to you. You would make sure he wouldn’t be bothered. Take care of his pain like he took care of yours.

“She’s not worth your attention, Xay. Don’t let that entitled brat ruin your evening. Or the stupid police chief’s son. They don’t even compare to you. They’re not worthy of your presence. Or your anger.”

Xavier looked at you in awe again. How did you always know what to say? With just one look you calmed him down. With just one look you could make him forget all about his sorrows.

Fuck. What was this feeling? And why did it have him so guilty, so torn? You were Rowan‘s partner, he never even thought of you like this until-

Until you started laying in his room. Until he noticed the way you breathed when you were asleep. Until he noticed how soft your skin was. Or how warm you felt when he pulled you plush against his body.

His hands brought you in closer. Pulled you in so you were pressed against his body tightly. You could feel your cheeks redden as you hid your head in his shoulder. A smile spread on your lips with how close you were. Had he always looked this good? Had he always been so enticing? So very handsome? You were so infatuated with Rowan, you didn’t even notice.

“I’m glad you asked me to the Raven.”

“I’m glad you said yes.”

“I would have never turned you down.”

Your voices were barely whispers as the song became slower and the two of you even closer if that was possible. His face was right above yours. You just had to tiptoe and your lips would meet his. You could see the way his eyes darted to your lips.

One move and you could ruin it all.

You inched in, stopping right before your lips could meet his. If you jumped this hurdle now, there was no return. You had ruined your friendship with Xavier. Had moved on from Rowan.

A drop on your forehead took you back into reality. You separated from Xavier as he too looked to find the source. Suddenly one drop became multiple. You could see the red stain the white cloth covering your body. Within seconds the panic started.

You didn’t even see the crowd fleeing. The red drops making it onto your skin had brought you right back. To the nightmares you had. In which you held Rowan as he bled out all over you. In which you knew the monster killed him. Tears started streaming down your face when finally you regained some sort of vision.

You didn’t have to look long to find Xavier. He was still right there, looking ahead. Your eyes followed his as you spotted her again. Wednesday, dancing in the red liquid like it was her home.

It wasn’t fair. That she was the one who got everything you ever wanted. She got to say goodbye to Rowan. Got to see who it was that hurt him. Got to see his last moments. And now she even got Xavier.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N], we have to leave!”

It was Bianca that had been shaking your shoulders as people stumbled all along the floor. And suddenly you heard the screams. The panic. And it was all too much. With tears streaming down your face you ran. To the only place that gave you solace.

His bed.

———————————————————————

The door shutting had brought you back to your senses. You were still shaking, even if the tears had stopped a while ago. You immediately scrambled up, not wanting to be seen in this position.

Xavier immediately came to your side as he saw how hurt you looked again. Fuck, did you think of Rowan again? Of course you would. Going to the Raven was a stupid idea. His heart stung as he saw what a mess you still were.

“I should leave.”

“What? [Y/N], no, you can stay. I can sleep in the shed if I have to-“

“No. This is your room, I shouldn’t even be-“

“Don’t be silly. You can always come here. God, you’re still drenched. Wait, let me-“

His feet swiftly took him to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and wrapping you in it. He had to chuckle at how adorable you looked as you sat down on the bed. His eyes trailed down to the sheets, a grimace on his face as he saw how stained they were.

“I’m afraid we have to wash those. I’m sorry, I know how much you enjoy that they-“

“It’s okay. They’re just sheets.”

“What?”

“They haven’t smelled like him in ages. I just didn’t know where else to go.”

Xavier looked at you now, a worried look on his face. For you to act so indifferent about the sheets when they would usually give you so much comfort? Something else was going on. Something was off.

“How about we get you out of these clothes first. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t change. I’ll give you something to wear. Then we can sit on my dry bed and talk, hm?”

“You don’t have to take care of me.”

“I want to.”

You could feel your cheeks blushing once again as Xavier grabbed your hand, squeezing it to reassure you. Gosh, how could he be so selfless even now? How could he make you feel so good even when you were at rock bottom just seconds earlier?

He stood now, pulling out some of his old clothes. It was a t-shirt that looked way too big for you. Paint stains had painted it in all types of colors. He also put a pair of sweatpants onto his bed, making sure you were comfortable.

“I’ll- I’ll go change in the bathroom. And you can change in here. You can just wrap yourself in my blankets if you feel like it. I’ll join you in a second.”

You nodded carefully as you watched Xavier leave towards the bathroom. Carefully you pushed out of your drenched outfit. You decided to just wear his shirt for now, it being too warm in his room anyways. Luckily your underwear had remained relatively dry.

You walked to his unmade bed, grabbing the blanket and pulling it around your body carefully. You had never sat on his bed, you just now realized. Had always made sure to stay in Rowan’s, not to cross any boundaries.

You realized just how much his blanket smelled of him. You had gotten used to the scent of him so much. When he would lay next to you in bed, it would lull you to sleep quietly. Something you always blamed on the exhaustion that crying brought with it.

“You can come back out if you’re done!”

You quietly shouted, knowing damn well he was too scared to impose. You knew he would never just walk out, possibly humiliating you.

You swallowed as you saw him. He was wearing just a pair of grey sweatpants, his shirt long abandoned. His hair was lose now, falling into his face, some locks still slightly wet. You blushed deeply as he walked over to you, sitting next to you.

Xavier grabbed your hand, his knuckles accidentally brushing against your thighs in the process. He didn’t even notice you abandoned the sweatpants until now. He blushed, but never hesitated to intertwine your fingers with his.

“Why are you so upset?”

“It’s silly. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Humor me.”

Your eyes shot up to his. He encouraged you to talk to him. That was new. A deep sigh escaped your lungs as you began to speak.

“I had so much fun tonight. I really forgot all the pain and what I went through. It was going so well and then- then some Normie pricks had to ruin the perfect evening.”

You swallowed hard as tears threatened to spill once more. Xavier was quick to pull you against him, his arms wrapping around your shoulders. You took it, needing some sort of comfort. But you didn’t fail to notice just how warm he was.

“That’s not silly, [Y/N]. For what it’s worth, I also enjoyed spending the evening with you.”

“Oh please.”

You scoffed at him. You couldn’t believe him, even if you wanted to. You saw the way he looked at Wednesday, saw the way she enthralled him. He grabbed you by the shoulders, holding you to look at him. Why were you doubting him all of a sudden?

“I’m sure you were happy the stupid prank saved you. God, you ogled at Wednesday as she danced in the mess.”

“[Y/N], I didn’t-“

“Didn’t what, Xavier? You were scared to be the rebound. Well guess what, right now it feels like I am.”

His eyes were shocked. He hadn’t seem you this upset with him before. And it stung, to hear your harsh words. You had gotten it all wrong. He had to explain, had to tell you what was happening. Carefully he grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him.

“You are not a rebound. You never were. I wanted to go with you. You make me so happy. You soothe me in seconds and are an incredible person. I looked at Wednesday, sure. Cause she looked absolutely insane. I was wondering how I could have ever been upset about her when the one I really wanted was right in front of me.”

You blushed now, a soft tear spilling down your cheek. You didn’t even know how much he cared. God, you were so dumb. How could you ever doubt him, how could you ever think he didn’t want you? If it wasn’t for the prank, you’re sure he would have-

He was looking at you again. Looking straight at your lips as he inched in. He softly wiped the tear off your cheek, making sure you were no longer upset. He knew he couldn’t have you. But he wanted you so badly.

“I know you’re not ready. I know you probably thought of Rowan all night. You said it yourself, I wasn’t your first choice. But know that I’m right here if you need me. Say the word and I’m yours.”

You interrupted him with a peck to his lips. He looked at you, surprised. You had just kissed him. He wasn’t dreaming, right? Carefully he moved one of his hands to the nape of your neck as he pulled you in once again.

The kiss was slow, sensual. It was intimate in a way you haven’t felt in a while. If ever. You had missed this. Had missed the sparks flying between two people as they kissed. The way you felt like time stopped.

To say you and Rowan didn’t have your issues would have been a simple lie. He had been losing it long before Wednesday came to school and frankly, you hated the person he became then. But even then, Xavier was there to notice. To call Rowan out on how he treated you. It was why he urged the others to kick him out of the nightshades.

He had liked you for a long time. And he was sure you felt the same way. Wednesday’s arrival and Rowan’s death had held you back from acting out. Still, it brought you so much closer. Xavier pulled back, carefully catching his breath.

“We should stop. I don’t want to push you to something you’re not ready for.”

“I think I’ve been ready for ages. I was jealous when you looked at Wednesday. Because once again she got what I wanted. She had you. Or so I thought.”

Xavier couldn’t hold back now. He pushed you back, softly laying you down on his pillows as he kissed you again.

———————————————————————

You fell back as Xavier took control. The blanket had long been pushed off the bed as he softly kissed your lips, making sure you were comfortable. He was impatient, but he wanted to make sure that you were alright with every single move.

“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

You pulled him in by his hair, your hands tangling in them immediately. He was so gentle, so soft yet you could feel a need behind his eyes. You had every intention of unlocking that need.

You ground your hips into his, making sure to let him know you were just as needy as he was. He groaned as his hands clasped at the shirt you were wearing. Quickly he pulled it off you, discarding it to the side. You had no time to feel shame. Not when Xavier was leaving breathy kisses against your neck, causing you to breathe heavily.

You gripped his shoulders for support as he sucked softly. A grin spread on his lips at your reactions. He knew you were vocal, he had walked in on you and Rowan one too many times. But to hear you react to him instead, it gave him a newfound confidence.

He gnawed at your skin, making sure to leave marks. He didn’t even care who saw. He just wanted to make sure everyone knew that you had finally moved on. That you were once again off the market, that you were his. Were you his?

“God, please, I need you.”

He chuckled softly at your words, like you had read his mind. His kisses trailed further down your torso and down your stomach. His hands gripped your sides like a vice but he was keen on pleasing you.

With a little help from your telekinetic powers you pushed him off you, pressing him against the wall behind his bed for just a second. No, you were not gonna let him do this. Not like this. Carefully you let him go again as you stood from the bed. He looked confused, worried.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” you knelt, pulling his body to you with the snap of your wrist. “I’m not letting you take care of me again. It’s my turn to give back.”

A grin spread onto your lips as you held onto his thighs. He looked shocked, surprised even. You were really kneeling in front of him, offering to take care of him. He must be dreaming. Must be in one of his twisted wet dreams that he sometimes had, especially when you snuggled into him as you slept.

You grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants now, pulling them off his legs. He helped, keen on letting you do your work. He had skipped the underwear of course, leaving him exposed and hard in front of you. He was already dripping with precum.

You bit your lip for one second at the sight. So the rumors were true. Bianca had mentioned some things back in the day, some you never paid much attention to. But the taller the man, the bigger certain features was something that rang true.

“You don’t have to- Holy shit.”

You didn’t even let him finish as you licked along his tip, swallowing up his precum. You had some experience. You weren’t new to dating, after all. So you also knew exactly which moves to use to make a man happy.

Your tongue kept swirling around his tip, licking up and down his head. The groans escaping his body were heaven to your ears. You pulled back for a second, only to lick up his shaft, engulfing his head in your mouth.

Xavier knew then he was a goner. His hands gripped the sheets as he watched you carefully. You started bopping your head at your own pace, intended on making him have some fun. And boy, was he having it.

You pushed yourself even further onto his dick, until his tip touched the back of your throat. Xavier groaned so hard he could have cum right there. He could feel you gagging around him, could feel you trying everything to make him happy.

He pulled you off him after a while and you looked up at him with sad eyes. Did you do something wrong? Did you mess up? Did he not want you anymore? Softly he grabbed your chin, making you look up at him. A smile plastered his face as his thumb softly swiped over your lip.

“I’m not gonna last long if you’re this good to me. And I wanna feel you around me as I do.”

You could feel yourself blush as he pulled you back up the bed. He sat you on his lap, but not before pulling your underwear to the ground. Your eyes widened as he massaged your thighs, all whilst his hard dick was pressing against you.

“You’re sure you still want this?”

“More than ever.”

He didn’t have to prep you much. He knew you were ready, knew you could take him. He spat on his hand, lubing up his manhood so he could make it easier for you. He lifted your hips just slightly before he pushed you onto him.

You could feel him press against your walls, could feel the way you squeezed around him. He was slow, lowering you step by step. He did not want to hurt you. Ever. You moaned, biting your lips as he bottomed out.

“You take me so well.”

“Mhh I can feel you so deep.”

“I know. I can feel you clench around me.”

He started rolling his hips up, thrusting into you. He was slow, making sure to get you used to his size first. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as close to him as possible.

You didn’t even notice you were looking right at Rowan’s bed. One you had done oh so similar things in quite a few times. But you couldn’t even remember. Remember what his lips felt like, remember what he felt like. Remember his smell.

You had finally let go.

All you could smell now was Xavier. All you could feel was how his arms held you in place, how he pushed into you. The way he groaned against you. It was so much, all too much. You couldn’t even think straight, too cockdrunk as he kept thrusting into you, now harder and faster.

All you could think about was him.

Xavier. Xavier. Xavier. A few times his name even slipped out of your mouth as you neared your own release, loud moans spilling out of you. You were so close. So very close.

“Xavier, I’m gonna-“

“Cum for me. Please, let go. Take what you need.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice as your body started convulsing against his. Your thighs trembled as you rode out your high. He held you close, making sure your tired body doesn’t just topple off him to the ground. He knew the way you looked when you were exhausted. But this time it was for all the right reasons.

He stilled, waiting on you to come back to him. After a while you did and he placed soft kisses along the back of your neck. His fingers softly tapped along your thighs and you chuckled a bit at his antics.

“Why did you stop moving?”

“We don’t have to continue of you’re too spent.”

“We are not stopping until we’re both satisfied.”

You took the reigns now, holding onto his arms as you started moving your hips once again. You were overstimulated, your legs wobbly, but you wanted to have him find his own relief.

The kisses he pressed into your neck became sloppier as he met your movements with his own thrusts. You could feel he was getting close, his dick twitching every now and then and his moves becoming more uncontrolled.

With a loud groan he shot his load right into you. He pushed you into his lap as his hips stuttered, his cum filling you up. He hadn’t done this in a while. You could tell by how hard his orgasm hit him.

Xavier stilled for a while, his breathing heavy. He gave you a sign before moving you out of him, his cum spilling all over his own legs. His face distorted at the feeling, causing you to chuckle. He grabbed a few tissues from his nightstand, cleaning both you and him up.

Carefully you got back into your underwear and his shirt and he followed part, pulling his sweatpants over his hips. You didn’t know what you needed more, a shower or sleep. Xavier decided for you as he pulled you into his arms, picking up the blanket and pulling it over the two of you.

You turned to face him, looking up at his soft face. He was tired but happy. You were sure you looked similar to him, very much spent. The two of you should have done this ages ago.

“If this is what I get I will gladly be the rebound.”

“I told you, you’re not the rebound, Xavier. You always should have been my first choice.”

[eldritch-spouse]

This is a bit of a loaded question, however curiosity is a stronger beast than lust is

Do any of your characters have, specifically, a rape kink? Or get turned on by the idea of rape?

Gomen I know this isn't a very nice question :(

[Anon, the rape warning is in the blog for a reason, there's no need to apologize because you have crossed no boundaries. However, unlike you, these guys-]

TW: NONCON; Death; Mild dehumanization.

Kalymir. Listen. He just loves to dominate. It's his whole thing. Seeing you fight for your dignity, your body- Tossing everything and anything you can to try and slow this hulking beast, but deep down, he knows you know it's already over. He knows he's going to get his way and your running, screaming, kicking and punching only gets him more excited. Because, to Kalymir, sex is hunting. And you're exceptional prey. Crying, begging for mercy, slumping under him in utter defeat- Growing to worship him in time, all things Kalymir loves. Granted he wouldn't be as brutal to you as he was to past lays who meant nothing to him, the people who ended up shattered and lifeless from the brutality of his desire and the sadism that fuels him. If there wasn't a splatter of blood every single time Kalymir pistoned, then something was wrong.

Vesper. Such a sweetheart he is, so generous in his offerings- Until you recall that Vesper is the Icon of Lust, and lust is sometimes quite ugly. Vesper's violation of your will is subtle, peppered in perfumed pheromones and arousing lilts, suggestions of consent, illusions of desire. You will not deny him, because you cannot, he demands your carnality. Is Vesper capable of outright rape? Yes, that's how he fights, that's how he fulfills the fantasies of rotten people who strike deals with him, and Vesper does get aroused from his own vile actions. Does he prefer to trick you into thinking you want things? Yes, a lot more.

Morell. Another one who loves the hunt. But more than that, Morell is just a little too used to treating humans like a commodity rather than a person. All piggies kind of flail and whine about it, all of you make faces and get temperamental. What does it matter anyway? Play nice and let him make you squeal one last time before you end up on a platter... Although Morell will rape you in a non-lethal manner, he's infantilizing throughout it, trying to soothe you and shushing you, treating it like a dumb animal's tantrum. The damage is fixed with a few kisses and a nice meal, in his eyes.

Vinnel. Oh the sneering sadist. He wants you broken and crying beneath him, trying to hide your face and curl in on yourself, shaking like a leaf. He wants you covered in cuts and begging him to stop. What a pretty, pretty image you'd make, especially if put on display this way. But he's willing to be nice, oh very very nice, you just have to not get on his nerves. Very simple. His attention will still generally happen regardless of you wanting it or not, what changes is the degree to which he'll be relentlessly cruel in his assault. The more you suffer, the more he quakes in pleasure.

Nebul. Your will is secondary and you know this. Consent? No, you're a pet, he determines your consent, the same way he determines your entire routine. Punishments during his training oftentimes involve sexual assault, because it's brilliantly effective in drilling powerlessness into the minds of his victims, and your powerlessness is a drug that makes him feel oh so alive. Nebul likes that no matter how much you try, you're nothing but a puppet to his desires, and you will one day share them in a complementary fashion.

Patches. He feels very guilty about it, not that it makes it any better. It's not very often that it happens, but sometimes his own inability to take initiative or suceed in courting will have Patches erroneously casting his frustrations onto you and fantasies of rape flourish- Arousing him because of how cathartic they feel. Would he act on them? Only as an opportunist. Would Stitches outright rape? Oh yes, you're fucked with that one. Curiously, Patches also has vivid daydreams of you assaulting him, and the more degrading you are in his mind, the more he longs for it in real life.

Santi has enjoyed rape before. He's taken the sexual dignity of others before to make himself feel powerful, and it's something he won't do again. But sometimes, the thought rears its ugly head. Remnants of who he was, paired with a more sinister side of his nature.

Roch. A bit like Patches, he more so fetishizes the possibility of being taken advantage of while he sleeps. Roch enjoys the idea of being touched inappropriately or outright used by someone who stumbles upon him and simply decides to have the soft little imp all to themself. He doesn't tell you outright that you have permission to fuck him in most states, simply hopes that you'll be rotten enough to discard his consent entirely.

Ludwig. Like most wrath demons, rape is at the very least a semi-frequent fantasy. You're very lucky Ludwig happens to have more control over himself than most of his kin, but oh, that doesn't mean you're safe. While he will only harm you further if he has to, Lud does morbidly get off on intimidating you into performing sexual acts for him. Sometimes he doesn't even want penetration, he just wants to see the fear in your eyes while you bare yourself to him, touch yourself, suck him off, or just present and wait for a load on your ass.

Nick. She likes abusing her physical might. Ideally, she won't have to, but if it comes to that, Nicele gets a pretty big kick out of seeing you crumble to her commands. If she barks at you to ride her fingers, then you better. If she pushes your shoulders down and starts grinding her cunt on your face, then you better stay still and take it. Wouldn't want anything to break now, would we? Fear is a beautiful look on you.

Sybastian. Listen, it's a bit genetic in this case. Sybastian's used to snatching people. Careful not to trigger that instinct when he's trying to get frisky with you. It doesn't help that part of mimic sexual foreplay involves surprising their partner with sexual attention, so your initial flailing will only make him more enthusiastic because it signifies he succeeded in shocking you. He finds it fun and stimulating to overwhelm you, which makes gouging consent borderline impossible at times, and there are instances where he simply refuses to let go, therefore assaulting you.

(A lot of other characters are capable of rape but don't necessarily particularly get off on it.)

(Monsters who enjoy rape should not be confused with opportunists, which there are many here. These opportunists would not outright assault someone until the victim is vulnerable enough for the act to be performed, but they would take advantage of situations where they either know that you can't verbalize consent or lack thereof, situations where you may not recognize them, etc...)

Notable opportunists are: Breg; Lacai; Shags; Zizz; Livius; Flints; Jayde; Rinx; Nena; Obie; Belo; Vorago; Glauk; Colmei; Gallon; Fank-e.

[toooliix]

hey! alright so i may have done a thing

so for the past,,, idk 3 weeks? ive been going on a deep dive into spelling bee mostly to sedate my own curiosity of needing to know everything about what i'm interested in. as it turns out, there is a LOT of content with this musical, so i'm here to talk about my findings! note: i will be keeping this EXCLUSIVE to the original 2005 off broadway cast. as much as i'm a brown university girlie through and through, the original cast is where the content is. OKAY FIRST: youtube findings

a lot of small videos were made usually with logainne and leaf. you'll be quick to learn that they made the most off stage content. i have a public playlist with these videos, along with interviews, the original boot, and a few other things. the cast album isn't in it because that's audio only and i want visuals damnit. (plus its on spotify and easy to look up so.) the exception is 25apcsbmt12doc because its pretty underground and the purpose is to get word out about niche things.

second: myspace pages a lot of the spellers have myspace pages! this is like. a common thing!! only two were archived (leaf and logainne) and are able to be accessed! i'll talk about the others in a bit. they contain new information and i personally find them very interesting!

leaf logainne

HOWEVER: three are currently able to be accessed through modern myspace without needing an account. the format is off, but it's accessable.

barfee 25apcsb account panch third: other

there's two different things here so i'll separate them :]

3.1: r/v club

r/v club is a short film by rebecca feldman (one of the people that worked on spelling bee) that includes logainne! it can be found on her site with other short films. i believe this is the only one with her in it HOWEVER i have not checked therefore i could be wrong. it's set post-spelling bee, i believe. also jesse is in it but not as leaf.

r/v club

3.2: official site

spelling bee had a site!! and official merch!! its just a cool thing i think. it'll be mentioned again in the last section

spelling bee site

fourth and final: lost media (to my knowledge)

okay, spelling bee has.... QUITE a bit of lost media. again, this will be separated into parts.

4.1: C-R-E-P-U-S-C-U-L-E

before spelling bee was a thing, crepuscule (albiet mispronounced) was an improv play made by the farm. (same group who made r/v club) a lot of the characters were similar or the same, and it has a similar premise. however, it wasn't a musical. from what i've heard, there USED to be a boot of it, however i haven't found one of my own. i would love to be corrected.

4.2 myspace pages

remember how i was going to say this was going to come up again? hi thats now. outside of leaf and logainne, other myspace accounts were made! mitch (comfortcounselor), olive (mydictionary) + (oliveostrovsky), chip (chiptolentino), marigold (marigoldconeybear) an olive and barfee joint account (ilovemydictionary), and a leaf and logainne joint account (schwartzylogan). there's also another leaf account with the very confusing name of panchspell the issue with these is that theyre not archived, so you'll need a myspace account with a verified email to view these. in the year of our lord 2024 that's not exactly an easy find, especially since verification emails no longer send. plus, one of olive's accounts is dictionary.com now so,,,, who knows what it looks like there. most also need a connection, which makes things even MORE difficult. i hate how close but out of reach these accounts are.

4.3. spelling bee game

yeah they had a game. it's on the site, and it's eternally stuck at loading characters from my experience. here's the link anyway! game

4.4 the dirty bee

oh jesus its the dirty bee. so for context, in 2006 when the show was running, a few nights were booked for spelling bee that were meant for mature audiences and were 18 plus. it's catered towards people who have already seen the bee and want something new. it was inspired by jay (panch) and putting in words or sentences researsals that were clearly for funnies because he was bored. alas it became a derivative of the musical. all we know is what an article provides (theres more than one but the one linked gives the most info) and that chip quote unquote "finished off" at my unfortunate erection according to jose. there's rumor that chip is canonically bi in it but theres no sources so,,,, can't confirm that one.

article

(the quote is said in the reunion "stars in the house" and is found in the playlist)

conclusion:

there's genuinely so much shit in this musical i find it fascinating. this post WILL be updated with any other finds or information. PLEASE dm me or let me know if i got something wrong or if you have something to add (though do add a source, please and thank you)

ALSO: reblogs are greatly appreciated!! shoutout to the wiki, @/honkmaster69 and the people i spam in dms for helping and tolerating me <33

[jenniferjareauwife]

Carina x reader based on the song Sara by we three

Sara

pairing: carina deluca x fem reader

category: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: self harm, suicide attempt

word count: 964

summary: based on sara by we three

"Seriously bambina you need to stop drinking." Carina snatched my beer from my hand and threw it in the trash. "It's not good for you."

"Well the air gives you cancer but we still breathe."

"You know what I mean." I sighed and leaned back against the couch, licking my lips and trying to clear my mind now that the alcohol was gone. "Next thing I know I'm going to find you in bed smoking weed!" She angrily fluffed the pillows but I didn't react, just stared ahead.

"It was just twice."

"Bambina? Seriously?" I finally looked to her, seeing the hurt and shocked look on her face. "Did you learn nothing from health class in school? Or from me? Come on bella, you know better."

"Weed isn't even that bad." I scoffed.

"I am not having this conversation." She stroked out of the room and slammed the door to our bedroom. I slumped down on the couch and pulled a blanket over me, guess I was sleeping on the couch tonight.

I could hide the cuts well as long as I wore long sleeves which was everyday now. Carina didn't expect anything, thank God. I didn't know how I would explain that to her. "Bambina! I'm home!" She sounded happier than normal which surprised me but I liked to see her that way.

"Hi." I got pulled into her arms as soon as she saw me. "What's up?"

"I delivered three babies today and they were all healthy and their mommies all lived too." She kissed my forehead. "It was a very good day." I smiled but it didn't quite reach my eyes. I was glad she was having a good day but I hadn't had one in so long, I was kind of jealous. "Bella what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Bambina..."

"It's nothing. I promise." She frowned but nodded, knowing better than to press the issue.

"Well...talk to me if you need to, ok?" I nodded and smiled.

"Thanks."

I scribbled down some words for Carina to explain to her why I was doing it. I did feel a bit bad, but she deserved so much better than me and if I was finally out of the way then she could find the person she was meant to be with. I was in everyone's way. There was no point to me being here, nothing was enjoyable anymore and no one loved me except for Carina but she could move on.

I slit my wrists cleanly as I heard the front door open, cutting deep. She wasn't supposed to be home yet I still had a few hours. "Bambina where are you? I've called you ten times!" Shit. I watched the blood pour onto the ground but I didn't try to stop it. I heard her start to walk upstairs and my heart dropped. "Bambina are you in there?" She stopped outside the bathroom door and knocked a few times. "Y/n?" I didn't answer. "Y/n are you in there?" She knocked more frantically now.

My vision was starting to get a bit blurry and she was trying to knock down the door, knowing that something was wrong. "Bambina, open the door!" The door finally giving in was the last thing I heard before eveyrhing went black.

I woke up in a bright room, hearing a steady beeping sound to my right and small sobs to my left. "You're awake." I heard Carinas broken voice so I turned my head. "Why'd you do it?"

"Hm?" I blinked slowly.

"Why'd you try to kill yourself?"

"I..." Her eyes softened as I struggled to come up with the words.

"You don't have to answer now bambina...I...I just want to know why...why you felt like you had to do it." I turned my head to stare at the ceiling, not knowing how to word it. I didn't want to tell her that I just needed to put an end to the pain because the distractions weren't doing it for me anymore but that was depressing and I didn't want her to be more concerned than she already was.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are bella." She squeezed my hand. "You really scared me, you know that?"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"But I have so much to apologize for."

"Don't apologize for how you tried to get rid of your pain." My lips quivered as I tried not to cry. "And it's ok to cry." She sat down on the bed next to me. "You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to bella-"

"But I don't want to."

"Holding it back only makes things harder. When was the last time you cried?"

"Six months ago."

"Bambina..."

"I know...not good." I leaned into her, hugging her arm.

"I just want you to be ok."

"I want to be ok too, I want that so bad." I sniffled as a few tears fell.

"You can be ok, but you can't use unhealthy coping mechanisms and expect to be ok." My bottom lip trembled and I nodded. "I'm going to help you as much as I can, ok?" I nodded and let out a sigh of relief as she pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome bella." She ran her fingers through my hair, kissing the top of my head. "I want to be here for you."

"I need that."

"Yeah?" She gently massaged my scalp.

"I'm sorry for not asking you for help earlier."

"Y/n. Do not apologize." I nodded into her neck, hugging her tighter, so glad that I would be able to hug her as much as I want, that I didn't actually die. "I love you so much. I will be here for you every step of the way."

"I love you too."

[lacefedora]

Home: Devil's Minion/ Armandaniel

@rosilynn

Reverse Devil's Minion chase. After Dubai Daniel tracks Armand down to Night Island. Being there feels weird. You decide how much he remembers about that time, but he has feelings about it. Armand stalks him around the Island, but doesn't come out of hiding while Daniel looks for him. You decide if Armand gets found or not

-

It's like the 80s threw up here. A weird fucking time capsule, except the capsule is actually a whole fucking island. An island with stores and arcades and eye-searing neon lights. With honest to god employees that ran it all from dusk until dawn. It wasn't a tourist spot, instead it seemed to have a bunch of meandering locals all enjoying the price tags that were still stuck in the 80s too.

An Island that has Daniel Molloy's name on the deed. He's pretty sure he should remember owning an island. When he'd first began tracking Armand, he'd looked up everything under every alias he knew of for him. He had even pried a few alias's out of Louis. Man that had been like pulling teeth. But eventually something nagged at Daniel's mind and he started looking for things with his name on them.

Granted there are a lot of Daniel Molloy's out there. He had to do a deep dive, middle names and everything. But here it was. dubbed 'Night Island' by the little sign at the harbor. As soon as he'd stepped off the boat he'd known Armand was here.

When you've been to a place a lot there are sort of echoes in your memory everywhere you look. Daniel had quite a few places like that. Polynesian Mary's was one of them. But he had no memory of ever setting foot on this island… still he keeps feeling the echo of memory on every corner. A kiss against the pinball machine in the arcade. Laughing himself sick outside the movie theater. Singing along to The Cure as he walks hand in hand with… someone. Daniel can't see their face, can't hear their voice. But they're in every echo.

It could only be one person.

Daniel can feel eyes on him. His new vampiric senses are keen and they're never wrong about things like this. He puts his hands in his pockets… it has to be Armand. He thinks Daniel can't catch him. He's wrong.

Daniel walks the island for more than an hour. Patience pays off. He can feel Armand getting closer and there's a thrill in the air. The thrill of the chase. Daniel can't tell if it's coming from him or from Armand. This close it was easy for the edges to blur between their bond. Have they done this before? Something feels so incredibly familiar. The world's worst case of Deja Vu.

Daniel finally feels the air brush passed him. He reaches out and grabs Armand's wrist, moving with as much vampiric speed as he can muster. For a moment they're both frozen, each surprised that had actually worked. Daniel locks his grip, nails biting into Armand's fine shirt. He pulls Armand into an alley… fuck how did the dumpsters even look like ones from the 80s?

Armand's eyes are glowing amber in the darkness. Eyes wide and unblinking. He looks freaky as shit and Daniel is just utterly relieved to see him. He loosens his grip but doesn't let go, simply sliding his hand down Armand's hand. He grips his hand and watches Armand, just as unblinking, as he brings his hand up and kisses his knuckles. Armand sucks in a breath he doesn't need, shocked.

"Been looking for you." Daniel says finally. It seems to take Armand a moment to find his voice. He's flustered. Daniel fucking likes him flustered.

"You've found me." Armand returns. The first word from him since that night. Armand had said nothing while he turned Daniel. not a fucking word. Three little words shouldn't sing in his brain but they do. Daniel barks out a breathless laugh.

"Yeah I fucking did." He says. "You didn't make it easy. You're the Devil, you know that?" Daniel tells him and he crowds Armand up against the wall in the alley. Even this feels familiar.

"I have been called worse." Armand says and he seems to not know what to do with his hands. He flails a little but eventually one hand comes to rest on the back of Daniel's neck and the other at his waist. Daniel's just relieved he hasn't bolted yet.

"You're going to tell me everything about this island and give me back whatever memories you took." Daniel says, his tone dark. He sounds ever inch the top of the food chain Vampire he is now. "And I mean everything, Armand." He growls, Bringing his own hands up to Armand's arms, then then slide around him. He holds onto him. Armand could quite literally float away and Daniel needed him to stay… Maybe forever.

"…Whatever you wish, Beloved."

Daniel feels at home for the first time in fifty years.

[scarletwritesshit]

🌧️ Furina x Neuvillette 🌧️ Thoughts After the Rain

The image was still burned into Neuvillette’s mind.

That wretched sight of the Hydro blade descending onto Focalors, slicing her body in half and dissolving her remains into water droplets. He has dealt with his fair share of nightmarish scenes over the long years, not just recordings and accounts of crime scenes, but personally as the Hydro Dragon Sovereign. The work he took on as Chief Justice served as his relief from this strenuous mental toil. He focused his mind on the problems and solutions of the court rather allowing himself to be haunted by gruesome scenes time and again. His undertaking of extra work also lifted some of the weight off of Furina’s shoulders.

The stacks of work were doing him no good at this time. As much as he tried to suppress them, the tears would not stop flowing down his face, and his voice remained choked, rending him unable to confide in even the closest of his Melusines to relieve himself of his sealed up thoughts.

The way Focalors kept smiling at him until the bitter end, with not a single regret to be heard in her voice, ripped his heart far more than any plea of desperation could. He had a sworn duty to protect all under him - people, Melusines, even his own Archon. Where did he go wrong, he wondered? Focalors was no longer around for him to seek the answer to this question, and she left behind deceptions still buried behind that final smile.

No chance that Furina would know the full truth herself. She was the prime victim of her other self’s act, and even if she did know a sliver of the truth, it was highly unlikely that she would be willing to open up now. Neuvillette had advised her to take some time to herself as her own person at long last, and measures were taken so that none of the gossip hungry people of Fontaine could spend a single moment of their time harassing her. After 500 years of suffering, he knew that a few moments for Furina to focus on nothing except herself was an important first step in her recovery.

This also meant that he would be leaving her alone for the time being. He couldn’t help but wonder if this break was as truly beneficial as he hoped it to be. Though, he was also concerned that perhaps it was his longing to see the true Archon again that made him desire to see Furina so much. As days had passed with no sign of his tears or the rain letting up, he let out a regretful sigh thinking that perhaps, disturbing the solitude of Furina would be in the best interest of them both, as well as Fontaine’s weather. If Furina were to obejct to him in any way, Neuvillette hoped that she was still not afraid to make her voice be heard.

He came to her place empty handed, as he did not wish to communicate any intent of bribery. Rather, he simply wished to talk with her; even a single word from her would make him feel better about her condition.

Standing in front of her door, Neuvillette took a deep breath, attempting to relax himself and clear his mind. Though, he was still haunted by worst case scenario. He didn’t want to think about the very real possibility that Furina, too, could’ve fallen victim to the execution in a slightly different manner.

Just something, he thought, Anything to give me a slither of hope.

The more he stood there in silence thinking, the more the rain began to pick up. It was better that he gets things over with and knock, rather than let the entire nation flood once more…

He politely knocked on the door with the back of his hand. There was no audible response coming from the inside, which sent a wave of anxiety through Neuvillette. He told himself that there was no need for worry quite yet, and to give her a few minutes before he would knock again. Just before he was about to tap on the door once more, it cracked open, and Furina peered her eyes through the small opening. She looked up and down, scanning the man that stood before her, and allowed Neuvillette to enter once she gained a small amount of confidence.

Her place was drearily lit, with the only trace of illumination being what little sun managed to peer through the window. Neuvillette was relieved to see her alive and still fighting, but he still wanted to break the silence between the two of them, somehow. He couldn’t find any words in him to begin a conversation, not even enough for a simple greeting, as he wasn’t sure what was appropriate to say given the recent happenings. Neuvillette was filled with guilt that he could’ve done something to prevent all of this. Something to save those in Poisson, something to save Focalors, something to free Furina...

Furina sat at her window and looked out at the rain falling down.

"It’s been raining for a while, hasn’t it?" she said, watching the rain with a saddened expression.

"Ah...my sincere apologies," Neuvillette said, wiping the tears that he has been doing a poor job of suppressing.

"Don’t beat yourself up over it. Believe me, its fine. I hardly have a reason or even a will to step outside anyways."

"But Lady Furina-"

"Just Furina. I hold that title no more, Neuvillette."

"Out of my utmost respect for you, it does not feel right to refer to you so...casually."

"Neuv," Furina said, sliding around to face him, "Its fine. I don’t even deserve to be referred to with a name, as I couldn’t save my own nation from a crisis that I had 500 years to prepare for."

"How were you supposed to? You were expected to play the role of god as a mortal, nothing realistically could have been done by you in your situation. If anything, I am the one who should be shamed for their negligence."

"You didn’t know. You shouldn’t blame yourself," Furina said with a sigh.

"It is my duty to know when something is amiss. I have failed both you and my people," he said, averting his gaze.

"You…didn’t fail any of us. In fact, I feel like you’ve done too much for a failure like me. I always worried that you were going to leave me one day due to my incompetence, yet you never did, and for that, I’m...eternally grateful, to say the least."

"Well, I couldn’t leave you. Fontaine would be doomed to crumble in a matter of years if so."

"I probably would’ve crumbled within years."

"Which is why I was so afraid, personally. Losing the nation meant losing a dear friend of mine, yet in a way, I still feel as if I had lost part of her."

Neuvillette could no longer bare to look Furina in the eyes.

"I’m still here Neuv, even if that part of me is gone" Furina said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "And. you still have Fontaine in relatively good shape."

"Perhaps, but it was not without its losses. Those whose lives I failed to save.”

"You mean...those I have failed to save," she said, her hand sliding off of his arm.

The rain picked up again, and Furina was quick to notice the weeping Hydro Dragon struggling to even look at her. She couldn’t even lift her own spirits, but despite this, she felt as if maybe, just maybe, she could bring a little bit of relief to Neuvillette.

She could not stand seeing Fontaine drenched in rain. Not after all of the times she could’ve saved Neuvillette the trouble if she was actually worthy of being a god.

"Neuvillette...please don’t cry. Focalors had all of us ensnared in her performance," she said, attempting to reassure him.

Neuvillette was rather unresponsive to her effort, and it hurt Furina deeply to see him like this. She slid closer to the edge of the seat, closer to where he was standing, and wrapped what she could of her tiny body around Neuvillette. He looked down at the former "Archon" embracing him, feeling the hesitation in her body as she attempts to not overwhelm him with her sudden gesture of affection.

"If it weren’t for you," she said, now holding back her tears, "I don’t even know if I would still be around."

"Furina..."

"Please believe me when I say that I don’t fault you for anything of what has happened. I don’t like seeing you like this at all."

Years of suffering, and Furina was still so quick to forgive him? He couldn’t seem to believe it, but her words and her touch felt so genuine. And with the strings of Focalors finally severed, this was no act with the intent of putting on a show, either.

She wiped a tear from his eye, forcing herself to smile through her own pain, this time for the sake of Neuvillette and not a façade long held.

"Neuv, you’ve meant a lot to me all these years, and I want you to remain by my side as I live out the rest of my life as a human."

"That...is agreeable. In fact, I would be most delighted to be called your most trusted partner."

"More than just that," Furina said, relaxing into him. “And you can drop the formalities with me, too.”

Neuvillette, preferring to uphold his formal tone, decided that, perhaps just this once, he could allow himself a truly honest word with Furina.

“Is that so? I suppose you wouldn’t mind if I told you that…I love you?”

“No, not at all,” she said, no longer holding back her grip on his body.

As he gently stroked Furina’s back, Neuvillette glanced to his side out the window. He had noticed that for the first time in days, the rain had come to a complete halt.

[celsfandomrave]

Ted Lasso Costume Deep Dive

I asked if anyone would be interested if I did a deep dive analysis into the Costume Design of Ted Lasso and people seemed to be very interested!

I work as what is called a Stitcher for opera and theatrical costumes which means I am one of the people who sews the costumes you see people wearing on stage. I am not a costume designer and I have never worked in TV. That said, many of the people I work with have worked in TV and I work with costume designers everyday, so I like to think I have a relatively realistic idea of what choices are intentional and what are not. This is my costume design degree put to use.

Part 1: Ted Lasso

Ted has simultaneously the most and least interesting costume design in the show so let’s talk about it and why I am freaking out about Ted’s orange shirt in Sunflowers.

With only very few exceptions here is a list of colors Ted wears:

White

Beige

Grey

Blue (Navy, Light Medium)

IF Ted wears a suit if will be black with a white shirt and a red tie for special occassions or a black tie for funerals

IF Ted is seen in his sleepwear it will be a pair of grey joggers with either a blue shirt, a black “Joe Arthur” T-shirt, or a Kansas City T-Shirt

IF Ted is seen at training or around the club just before or after he will be wearing some combination of (depending on weather):

White or grey polo shirt

Navy Blue Richmond Track Pants

Nav Blue Richmond Track Jacket

Orange Tinted Aviators

White Richmond Visor

On very rare occassions Ted will wear a RED POLO SHIRT. This is outside of Ted’s normal uniform.

The first time we see this shirt in Season 1 Episode 6, Ted is taking off his wedding ring. This immediately establishes that red polo means something is off in Ted’s world, even if it’s something minor. He might wear this shirt more than we actually see in the show but I would think of this as the shirt he wears if he hasn’t had time to do laundry.

This rule continues

Season 2 Episode 2

Ted is dealing with the fact that Dr. Feldstone is staying and the dinamics at the club are changing.

Season 2 Episode 3

Worn as Led Tasso. As though I needed  help proving this meant something was off.

Season 2 Episode 6

When he wears the shirt early in the episode it seems like there is very little going on with him, everything is fine. So why do we get red shirt Ted? and then he gets a panic attack in the middle of a game. That red shirt was the only indication that something was wrong.

Season 3 Episode 5

The Team are in a losing streak following the game with West Ham. He is also wearing it when he finds out about the bullying situation with Henry.

Other exceptions to the rule that I’m not reading too much into, due to them not being quite as noticeable:

Season 2 Episode 5

Ted wears this brownish yellow sweatshirt under his Navy Richmond jacket. I will let this slide because it is mostly covered by the jacket and it is very cold and snowy during this episode.

Season 3 Episode 1

Ted wears a green sweater dropping off his son at the airport. The green doesn’t stand out as much as the red or orange shirt do. I do think this is sort of an indication that we are getting a Ted in season 3 who branches out a little bit more.

Season 3 Episode 3

Ted wears a maroon sweater with a pocket to Sam’s restaurant. Notably, we have seen this sweater in Navy previously. Ted is branching out in colors but only when it is a style he knows he likes. This is also the same style as the orange shirt.

And now SEASON 3 EPISODE 6 he shows up in ORANGE out of nowhere.

and hopefully you understand why I am freaking out enough to do a breakdown of the whole show.

A few things I’d like to note.

The fact that Ted has a reasonably constrained wardrobe doesn’t really surprise me. The way these sorts of shows tend to work is that they will shop for a character’s closet. Even Keeley repeats, if not whole outfits, pieces of them at times. Ted is not the most fashion forward guy, it makes sense that he has a relatively short number of outfits. That said, Coach beard has much more variated style than Ted.

In the episode, what does the Orange shirt tie Ted to?

To me, the most obvious answer to this is actually Colin. Yes, you could argue that he is being tied to to Sunflower painting, maybe to the tea, maybe to the warm colors or the houseboat but if you are going to argue any of those, Colin is being tied to the same thing. I could definitely see both Ted and Colin being tied to the sunflowers. We are definitely meant to compare Ted to Van Gogh in the museum seen. Both are Inspiring creative people who are trying to get past their “inner demons”. Perhaps we are supposed to see that Colin is also one of these people or perhaps it is meant to connect Ted’s journey with Colin’s sexuality storyline. I genuinely don’t know the answer, but Ted’s costume tells me that something is going on.

Stay tuned for future parts where I will reveal which 2 characters are wearing the same distinctive T-shirt and have a similar freak out about Rebecca breaking all of her clothing rules.

Part 2

[melancholyshadow]

Reprimand

pairing: john price x female!reader 

word count: around 1.4k 

content warnings: kinda mean!price in the beginning, spanking, overstimulation possibly, no actual sex but definitely smut. MDNI

an: more cod stuff! woohoo! this is my first time writing something like this so bear with me. its not a full blown fic, just s little something. i got inspired by a tiktok i saw, but i can’t find it now.  im still working on some request from about a month ago, but if you see this and want to send some more, feel free! 

There were three tell-all signs that the Captain had which let you know when you had fucked up, and he was displaying them all for you right now. 

One, he sat back slowly in his large office chair, causing a slight squeaking noise. The chair was physically taller and broader than him, but in that moment he made it look puny, meant for a child.

Two, an elbow propped up on the arms of the chair, stroking the length of his mustache. While he appeared to be in deep thought about all the forms of punishment he could put you through.

Three, using his other hand, he rhythmically tapped the solid, oak desk with his fingertips, clearly trying to calculate exactly what he needed to say next. He was a man of few words, but when he did speak, everyone listened. 

All that cockiness, stemming from a successful mission, that resided in your body, exorcized itself almost immediately. You had been on this side of Price a time or two before. What exactly had you done? You couldn’t say, on this last mission, you were quite reckless. A usual occurrence, even putting Soap to shame. It could have been leaving your post early, after it was made very clear not to. Or it could have been the jokes you made over the communication systems. You were never one to take things very seriously. Well, that was the case for everything, except for this. 

“Captain, I–” You tried to speak, defend your actions, but he stopped you, holding his palm out towards you. “I think you’ve done enough talking.” He barked, his accent sounding rougher than normal. You knew how this was going to end, the same way it always did. You just wished he would get on with it, because the anticipation was killing you, and you could feel the mix of dread and excitement building in the pit of your stomach. 

Price and you had a thing, an indescribable thing, but it was definitely a thing. Finally, after a long, thick silence, he beckoned you forward with his index finger. Your legs felt like they could crumble at any moment as you walked towards him, rounding the side of the desk, and coming to stand next to him. Twisting in the chair, he faced you, one hand still messing with his mustache. 

“Be a good girl and bend over the desk.”  It was like your body was entranced, buckling forward at the hips, chest coming to rest against the hard surface of his desk. The oak was cold against your exposed arms, which were bent at the elbow and palms flat. Exactly how he liked you. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear his movements as he stood up from his seat, the wheels of his chair scratching against the wooden floor as it rolled backwards a few feet. 

The heavy footfall of his boots were deafening in the otherwise silent office as he paced behind you somewhere. “How many times are we going to have to do this, Sergeant?” He asks rhetorically, he knows you’ll never learn. “Never again, sir.” But your promise falls of deaf ears. “Ah, we know that’s not true. He chuckles. He wasn’t wrong, but you would never admit that to him. “We both know you like this a little too much.” Your body spoke louder than any words possibly could, and he was a great listener. 

Still unable to see the Captain, you heard his pacing cease, coming to stand directly behind you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body. He was close, but not close enough to actually be touching you. One of his boots kicked the insides of your feet, instructing you to widen your stance, which you did. His index fingers loop around the waistband of your thermals, shoving them down your legs with no warning. Your panties going with them. 

You tense under the sudden decrease in temperature, cool air traveling between your legs and to the apex of your thighs. Your fists ball up beside you, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to suppress any of the noises threatening to pass your lips. “You were certainly more chatty earlier, sweetheart. What happened?” He mocked.

“Sir, I–” Was all you could muster out, before one hand came down to graze the newly exposed skin, causing you to let out a small gasp. Another laugh passes his lips from behind you, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin. You were putty in his hands, and he had barely even touched you yet. 

Leaning over you, he placed his mouth right beside your ear. “Good girls get rewarded…” He whispers, his long, slender fingers crawling closer to your cunt, the pad of his index finger makes contact with your cunt. He presses forward, between your soaked folds, until he’s satisfied by the amount of slick he’s collected on the tip of his finger. And just as you think he’s about to push one of his fingers inside you, he speaks again, “...bad girls get punished.” 

That’s when he pulls away from you, voiding you of any contact. A strangled groan falls past your lips, “I-I’m sorry for misb-behaving, s-sir.” You apologize profusely. “I-It won't happen again.” You echo your promise from earlier, but Price still doesn’t buy it. He knows you’re just saying that to get your way, but he wasn’t budging that easily. “You know the drill, sweetheart…” He said, completely ignoring your pleas. 

“Count.” That’s when you felt the first smack come down on your ass, the left cheek. The sound echoes off the walls, your body jolting further against the desk. The handles of the drawers digging into the fronts of your thighs. “One!” You squeak out, eyes screwed shut, the pain simmered on your back side. It was a pleasurable feeling, it was like adding oxygen to the fire inside you. 

That was until his large hand came down again, across the same cheek. There was a trend that each swat got harder and harder as time went on. “Two!” You called out, hands reaching out to grip the front of the desk for support. “You sure do know how to take direction now.” He quipped. “Price, I promise I-“ Another smack, harder this time. “Three!” The Captain was very particular about the use of honorifics in this type of situation. He definitely enjoyed the power dynamic between the two of you, and used it to his advantage. 

An annoyed wail instinctually leaves your mouth. “Where are your manners, sweetheart?” He scolded. “Sir, sorry, I just wanted to sa-“ Another swat. Between the momentum and his calloused hand, the stinging sensation grew quickly. After the fourth slap, his fingertips dig into the reddened skin, which was beginning to swell from the mishandling. He kneads the flesh, causing you to suck in a quick breath. “C’mon, Sergeant, you’re doing so well.” He praised you, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head. “F-Four…” You whimpered. 

This continued well into the double digits. Each one getting more difficult to count out loud, but with each smack he seemed to get more lenient with you. From experience he knew, anything after fifteen was hit or miss. You had started seeing stars at around eleven. “Eightee-en.” You weren't sure when the tears had started, but they stained your cheeks. You could taste the saltiness on your lips. 

Luckily Price knew your body well enough to know when you were at your tipping point, and he could tell you were nearly there. “You’re being such a good girl, you can make it to twenty, yeah?” You contemplated for a moment, the burning sensation on your ass was intense, you knew there would surely be bruises and sitting would already be a challenge. “Y-Yes, s-sir.” You mewled. “Atta girl.” He cooed. 

Another slap. “Nineteen.” You said through gritted teeth, you were sure your knuckles were white because of how hard you were gripping the desk to steady yourself.. Your legs had started to go numb, they were overcome with that familiar buzzing sensation. Your brain was foggy, you weren’t even sure how you were keeping track of the number you were at, you were just spouting out numbers and hoping for the best. “So good.” The Captain reiterated, “Last one.” 

Smack. 

“Twenty!” You sobbed out. “Alright, you’re all done.” He murmured, “Stand up.” He ordered softly. It took a few moments for your brain to register his words, but once they did, you used your hands to push off the desk. As all your weight distributed back onto your legs, that's when they crumbled, luckily Price was there to catch you. 

“It’s alright, I gotcha, love.”

[wildmtthyme]

Home, Sweet Home

Eight years is a long time. Simon knew he should stay away but betrayal stings and panic drives him to go to the only place that has ever felt like home. The fact that he still knows it makes his chest tighten. The fact that she's still there makes him wilt. The fact that she's still waiting breaks his heart even more.

Or...

Ghost and Johnny need somewhere to hide in Las Almas when the shit hits the fan. If only for the night. Ghost knows where they can go... but it would mean opening the door on a past that he'd walked away from so many years ago.

SFW but slight warning on language and gore? Depictions/descriptions of canon-level injuries. Non-canon injuries. Spanish speaking Ghost. Tumblr only drabble. *I pulled the Spanish from memory so it's rusty, some might be a little wrong but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And yes... this is what counts as a drabble for me. -sigh- I might continue this when I have the motivation to.

Soap squinted slightly as he studied Ghost in the fell light of the belly of the carrier they were in, steadily making their way towards the airfield in Mexico. Price’s words over their coms when they were getting ready to leave still making him wonder. You going to be alright going back there, Ghost? And Ghost’s deadpan reply of Yes Sir. That had given him no clue as to what Price had been talking about. He knew that Ghost had history with Mexico as a whole but not with Las Almas in particular. It wasn’t the last time he wondered that on this mission. There were quite a few times he caught the elusive and closed off Lieutenant seeming to slip into an even more stoic sort of thought, gazing off into a distance he couldn’t see himself before he seemed to snap back to this reality and act as if that hadn’t happened.

Simon felt uneasy on Mexican soil, he always would. For a variety of reasons. When they landed in Las Almas… he knew questions were growing in quite a few minds at the familiarity between himself and Rudy. The way the man didn’t just shake his hand. How he clapped his shoulder, giving it a squeeze and saying it’s good to see you again, hermano. Simon had just nodded. He couldn’t reply for the nerves that spiked inside him. Rudy was a part of a life he no longer had. And he didn’t want to answer questions about it. He was hoping he could fly under that particular radar while he was in Las Almas. But when the shit hit the fan… well… he stopped caring about a lot of those nerves.

Soap listened as Ghost guided him through the streets of Las Almas… the darkened alleyways were like a maze to him but Ghost seemed to know them intimately. He led him through twists and turns, guided him along all the while his shoulder screamed at him from the bullet that grazed the muscle. He had no idea where Ghost was leading him… but he didn’t have much of a choice except to follow his cryptic instructions. Shadows were everywhere, looking for both Ghost and himself. Things were going from bad to worse as he heard the screams, the shouts, the citizens of this town taking the fall for his and Ghost’s escape.

Simon knew he shouldn’t… he knew he should get the hell out of town, get to Alejandro’s safe-house. But he couldn’t leave without Soap. And the shot he took to the thigh was slowing him down in the worst possible way. He knew he had to get it out before he could make any kind of trip. Alejandro’s safe-house was a few clicks outside the city and there was no way he was going to make that distance if he was bleeding out the way he was. He knew he shouldn’t. But he did anyway. He slunk through the shadows… guiding Soap through their personal com channel to the same place he was currently approaching. He gave him the final instruction before he snuck up the covered stairway… his gloved hands easing the rug out of the way, shaking his head with a deep frown at the key he found laying there.

How many times had he told her to not hide a key under the bloody mat. He eased the key into the metal door’s lock, at least she kept the bars on the doors and windows; though, she’d hated it when he had them installed. He turned the knob on the interior door and winced when it clicked, seemingly so loud. There weren’t any lights on inside, but that didn’t mean anything. He shut and locked everything behind him… only a foot in and he heard the unmistakable click of a gun, felt the press of a barrel into the side of his damned neck. His eyes cut over and he swallowed down a whole mess of… god… so much. She was just as stunning as he remembered. No… even more so. “Easy with that, love.” Her expression shifted in a heartbeat… from fierce and threatening to stunned. She pulled the gun away, he heard the hammer disengage… the safety click on… and watched as she stepped away from him, nearly staggering back into the small kitchen table that he’d bought for her when they moved in here. Simón… she whispered his name, as if she couldn’t believe it. He stood up fully, his height always imposing. He nodded, looking down at her. His fingers itched with the urge to reach for her. He blinked sharp as he swayed back a half step… her violent shove the reason. The fuck are you doing here! She hissed at him, luckily not yelling. This shit all about you?! Is that why these gringos are fucking around tonight?! He sighed and she just groaned, holding her hand up, that gun still in it as if she were done and walking away from him. His eyes flew down her unbidden… from her worn old T-shirt to her jean cut-offs… she was… so damned beautiful. “Needed somewhere safe to go before heading out of the city.” He found himself murmuring, not because he had to be quiet but because he felt like a damned dog with his tail tucked.

So, you brought this to my door? She had set the gun in a cabinet, shutting it away before shooting him a glare. Eight years and nada… but now, now you decide is time to come home? He clinched his jaw to hold back a sigh… and silence the stab of pain that word caused. Home. His eyes flicked around… the place looked a little different but not by much. Nothing much changed in Las Almas, that much he was learning quickly. “Can we stay here tonight?” He swallowed against a growing lump in his throat. She raised a dark brow at him, her arms folding over her chest, her hip jutting out. We? Who the fuck is we? His sigh slipped past this time… and he saw her immediate response. Her lips pressed into a thin, hard line. He did not want to deal with her attitude right now… his thigh was starting to cramp… and he was sure there was a small pool of blood starting to form under his boot. He was about to answer when he heard Soap through his coms. Metal door, this the place. He heard the echo just behind him and he turned, opening her door even though he heard her go off in a hiss. Pinche-cabron. He eased the metal door open, letting a confused and injured Soap inside.

Johnny glanced at Ghost but immediately saw the woman standing just there past the pass-through to the kitchen in the hall. She looked livid… but kind of not? He wasn’t sure. She looked between him and Ghost once he was inside and the doors were once again locked. Well, this is just great, Simón… now I have two big ass gringos bleeding in my house. She made a sound and waved behind her as she started down the hall away from them. Sit down before you fall down, I’ll get the kit. She muttered to herself, quite a few curse words in Spanish that he recognized as she vanished into the darkness. He looked up at Ghost. “Simon.” He said simply… there was a question in the word but the LT ignored him and limped a little, moving past him and over to the dinning room where he pulled out a chair and eased himself down, letting his leg stretch out.

Simon ignored Soap’s questioning look and the man followed, sitting in the closest chair. He was struggling with a lot in his head at the moment… and her statement reminded him of what he should have thought of in the first place. Soap and him being here put her in very real danger. But in his weakness… his moment of betrayal and panic… he just thought of the one place he could go that was safe. Home. It struck him then that his mind still thought of this place as that. She returned a moment later carrying a first aid kit… she set it down with a snap, her jaw tight as she reached for a box of matches on the table and flicked one to light the candle there. The soft glow was the only light she was affording. She looked at Soap and kicked her chin in his direction. How bad?

Soap watched the woman… she was… a total knockout if he were being honest. Tan skin and dark hair, obviously a native. Beautiful. Long legs… and… he knew his mind was seeking out anything to focus on other than the burning in his arm. Sure, he’d been shot before but it never made it hurt any less. He started working his vest off, wincing slightly around his eyes. “Jus’ a graze, hen… nuthin’ major.” He saw Ghost sit up a little straighter, take in a little more air when he called her ‘hen’… he wanted to smirk, the man giving him a little information without even trying to. She opened the box and pulled out a bottle of alcohol and some gauze, some gauze tape and set it on the table in front of him. And you. He pulled his shirt off, his eyes flicking between what he was doing and her interaction with Ghost, fighting another smirk as she poked the imposing LT in the chest. What has you bleeding on my floor?

Simon looked up at her and saw her brown eyes swimming in worry… worry she was trying to hide. He sighed and shook his head. “Is nuthin’. Jus’ need—” You think you can lie to me? She cut him off with a hardened tone. He sighed again before he froze… feeling her hand under his chin, making him look at her again. You wearin’ this calacas like it’s dia de los Muertos. Like you some dios de los Muertos. She removed her hand and focused back down at the box, sorting through some of the remaining first aid supplies. Take that thing off and answer me, the truth this time. He stilled… his eyes flicking from her to Soap, who was now cleaning the swipe on his arm with a slight grimace around his eyes, but the man had stilled too… his eyes not looking at him but he knew he was focused out of his peripheral. Waiting to see what he was going to do. He swallowed tensely before he spoke. “Can’t do tha’, love. It stays on.” She blinked rapidly before looking at him again, more pointedly this time, her hip shifting as he saw her clinch a muscle in her jaw. She opened her mouth but he hissed. “Es definito.” He spoke firmly, his voice taking on a growl as he held her gaze with that same firmness.

She pursed her lips, rolling around her words no doubt before she dropped some of the first aid supplies down with a slap. You wanna be stubborn, burro. Fine. She snapped at him before she dropped to a knee, hard. Her hands reaching for his belt, he jerked slightly but didn’t move otherwise. Bleeding all over my clean floor, acting all big and bad with your estupido gringo friend… she was muttering at him, he could hear the heat in her words and he flexed his thigh on purpose, the pain keeping his cock from reacting to her close proximity and the fact that he’d always found her even more attractive when she was angry. He pushed his hands down on the chair, letting her jerk his jeans down, quickly tugging his boxers back up into position while she pulled his jeans down to his ankles. He wanted to quip at her but with Soap paying such close attention… he couldn’t. Wasn’t the best idea anyway. She paused when her eyes locked on the wound… he heard her mutter quieter under her breath, still angry… but he couldn’t make out her words anymore.

She rose up onto her knees and tugged a headlamp out of the box, grabbing the bottle of alcohol off the table now that Soap was done with it… some gauze… and started making a proper mess. She cleaned her hands and then doused the wound. His muscle jumped and he clinched his teeth. She pulled the headlamp on and grabbed a pair of forceps from the kit… dipped them into the bottle of alcohol and swirled them around before she slotted herself between his legs, having to climb into the valley created by his jeans. It was… oddly intimate… and he knew it spoke volumes to how close they were… or rather, once were. Soap cleared his throat as he set the tape down, having finished bandaging his arm. Bathroom? “Down tha hall.” They both said in unison and Soap paused over that but otherwise made his way quietly away from them.

Johnny glanced over his shoulder once he was in the hallway… watching as that woman started digging around in Ghost’s leg for the bullet that was no doubt lodged in there. Ghost tensed up… hissed and he saw her set her hand further up on his thigh. Shh, big baby. Ghost chuckled low. Tha hand’s not exactly helpin’, love. She rolled her eyes and continued working. It was clear that they knew each other on a more… intimate level. But how intimate was the question. Was this a girl that Ghost had met while they were here? He hadn’t spent every single moment with the LT while they’d been here. But somehow… it seemed… like an older thing? He wasn’t sure. He went down the hall and found the bathroom, was pretty easy to do since there were only two doors. One to an obvious bedroom and one to a bathroom. He used it and washed his hands before quietly heading back out.

He didn’t return to the dining room though, having walked back into the main living area just in time to hear the sound of metal hitting the tabletop, the bullet rolling a little as it did. He went into the living room instead, settling down slowly onto the couch with a heavy sigh. His bones were tired. He let his eyes lazily move around the room… and they landed on an older style entertainment center… the top of which was littered with clutter. A statue of the Virgin Mary… some candles that weren’t lit… and pictures in cheap gold frames. One he spotted right away, it seemed to jump right out at him. Not because of her… no… but the man with her. He was huge… much larger than she… and he had familiar brown eyes. But the white man with the sandy blonde hair was a stranger otherwise. He had a crooked nose, a scar that bisected both of his lips in a single swipe… another on his chin… but those lips were crooked in a grin. And he was holding her in his lap sitting in the sand on some beach. His eyes moved quicker now, over the photos that held a lot of people he obviously didn’t recognize, until he saw another one with the man. This one was like the clue that cracked a case wide open. He was standing in front of a small chapel… wearing a uniform, younger… and there she was beside him, her dress white, a lace veil around her face, and he had her pulled in under his arm like that was where he always wanted her to be.

Johnny couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at the LT now… and it just clicked. Holy Shit, he thought. This wasn’t just some girl. This was the LT’s wife. No wonder she poked at him… she knew him… in pretty much every way. But… there was a strange distance between them now. Something had happened… something changed between them. Something that made Ghost come here on a plane with him and not come straight here to this apartment. Soap desperately wanted to know what that was… but he knew better than to ask. And frankly, at the moment, he was too damned tired to care.

Simon watched her as she stitched him up… her steady hands and unyielding focus hadn’t changed at all. He couldn’t stop his gloved hand from reaching, brushing some of her hair back behind her shoulder where it had been before it had slid off. She paused, froze for a heartbeat before continuing. Rudolpho said you were in town. He sighed quietly, watching as she dropped the needle back into the box and grabbed a tube of ointment. She dabbed it around the wound softly before laying a bandage over it. She stood up and stepped out of the trap his jeans created, clicking the light off before she did, plunging the place back into near darkness. “Rudy shouldn’t have said anything.” He muttered… he saw her shoulders tense… and felt the way his stomach dropped. She was quick about collecting the first aid supplies. There’s left overs in the fridge. You should shower… don’t get the stitches wet. He stood up, tugging his jeans back up and securing them… she hadn’t looked at him again and her words were uncharacteristically quiet. “Maria.” He breathed but she was already turning away from him and heading down the hall. I want you gone by dawn. She left him standing there like a jackass… and he felt like one, too. The tension thick around him. He sighed quietly before he turned into the kitchen and tugged the fridge open. He quickly made food for himself and Soap… he ate in the kitchen, hiding from his colleague.

Johnny ate the rice and meat quick, using the tortillas like bread… it was probably the wrong way but he didn’t care, he was starving. As soon as he was done, he took his plate into the kitchen, where Ghost was already rinsing his. He did the same but hovered there as the LT was fiddling with something on his vest. “So… she seems nice.” He said quietly, testing the waters. And the look Ghost shot him let him know that those waters were the fucking arctic ocean. He held his hands up a little in surrender. You take the couch. I’m gonna go shower. He nodded. “Prolly won’t be awake by the time you get out.” He said low as he passed the man, he could already feel his eyelids drooping. One of them should take watch but he was just exhausted. And frankly… they were pretty well hidden and out of the way.

Simon hung his head under the cold spray of the shower, opting for as little hot water as possible. He needed to clear his head, get it on right before he did something stupid. Something like what he was doing the moment he was dry and had that towel wrapped around his waist. He shut her bedroom door behind him, his eyes already on her. She wasn’t laying down… she was sitting on what had once been his side of the bed, her hands in her lap, her head bowed. Go away. She whispered it but he heard how thick her words were. He swallowed thickly and shook his head. He only hesitated for a second before he reached up and tugged his mask off, having put it back on once he was out of the shower. He laid it on top of what had once been their dresser… but was probably only full of her clothes now. He crossed the room and he was a few feet from her when she erupted out of her seating.

She flew at him, her hands pushing on his chest in a half-hearted, hurt-fueled… well, he hesitated to call it an attack for how she very quickly sagged against him. His arms went around her, hands spanning her back as he shushed her softly… her shoulders rocking as she wept so damned quietly. He felt his eyes stinging, his throat burning, his nose itching. He never could stand to see her cry. You left me here alone. He closed his eyes tight and bowed his head, pressing his lips into her crown and taking a deep breath, nodding silently. She started struggling again, her hands balling into fists against him, she wanted to hurt him… but she hadn’t the heart to, he knew that. But he still tightened his arms around her.

Eight years ago… he’d left. He knew he’d been a fool to marry her in the first place but… he’d fallen so damned hard for her. He wanted her in every way. But the past had a way of sneaking up on him… and it did. It did in so many ways. She weathered his night terrors, his panic attacks, his episodes of PTSD. She’d stuck by him through it all… and he pushed her away. He fought with himself… against himself. Simon wanted her… but Ghost wanted to protect her from everything, even himself. He wasn’t split but he was close. “Had to make sure you would be safe.” He said low and heard her scoff against his chest. That was why he’d left in the first place… but that wasn’t why he stayed away. What had kicked it off was her asking for something he never thought he could have… something he couldn’t give her. She wanted kids. And he told her no. He couldn’t tell her why, though. So… after so many fights… one morning, before she even woke up… he just left. He left to hunt down Roba.

And he did. It took him three years… but he did it. He found that son of a bitch and killed him. Made sure he couldn’t come after him or her… made sure he could, if he wanted, give her a family. That they’d be safe. But… but then he didn’t come back. He didn’t return to her. He just stayed gone. Because he was technically a war criminal. He was a murderer. What kind of husband was he, then? The kind that hunted men like they were dogs? The kind that strangled them with their own hands? The kind that could slit another man’s throat without a thought? What kind of husband is that? What kind of father is that? No kind she deserved. She deserved the best. And that wasn’t him.

He kept in contact with Rudy, though. Her brother. Just… just to make sure she was alright. He sent Rudy money to give her… because he knew she’d not take it from him. But he never divorced her… and she never asked for one. Rudy never mentioned any other men… but he was sure there had been some. Not that he’d taken another lover in all that time… never. Not once. He was faithful to her. Always had been and always would be. Even though he was sure she’d been with others… but Rudy never said… in fact… his eyes flicked around the room now… there wasn’t a single sign that anyone else had been here. Just her. His side of the bed was vacant… his end table was empty. Almost like… he shook his head slightly at himself. She wasn’t waiting for him to come back. It was impossible.

He guided her back to the bed slowly. “I’s late, love… le’s get some sleep.” He murmured and felt her nod. He pulled back the woven cotton blanket and sheets… guided her into them. He glanced down at his towel and frowned slightly. Still have some boxers in your drawer. He blinked at her… looked over at the dresser and walked over… his hand shook just a little as he tugged what had once been his undergarments drawer open. He let out a shallow breath. Everything was as he left it… down to the vacant spot of the last pair of socks he’d pulled out. He looked over his shoulder at her but she was on her side, facing away from him. Had… had she been just… waiting for him to come back? He swallowed thickly and blinked rapidly before he took off the towel and laid it on top of the dresser, grabbing a pair of boxers and shaking them out before putting them on. They were a little tight, him having gained some bulk since he was here last. Climbing back into the bed was surreal… but wrapping around her, pulling her into him in the middle of that queen-sized was… second nature. A second nature he thought he might have lost somewhere along the way.

Simon was up and dressed before the sun… looking down at her still sleeping form. He knew that if he left now… it’d hurt her in the worst way. So… against his better judgement- as far as the mission was concerned… he knelt in front of the mattress and reached, smoothing his still bare hand over her hair softly. She stirred, her eyes fluttering open, locking on him in a sleepy haze. “Gotta move before the light.” He murmured out. He saw her chew on her lower lip but she nodded. Via con dios, Simón. He smirked and started to lean in but stilled, giving a slight shake of his head and started backing away only for her hand to snatch his collar and tug him towards her. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose, feeling her lips collide with his. It wasn’t a matter of not thinking… he couldn’t think as he climbed onto the bed, covering her in a heartbeat… bullying his tongue into her mouth and kissing her with every ounce of longing that broke free upon feeling her lips against his again.

God damn, he’d missed her so much. He felt he wrap a leg around his, felt her arms snake around his neck and hold onto him so damned tight that her muscles were trembling. His cock screamed from disuse, begged against the zipper of his jeans… she was so damned close… and yet so far away. He took a gasping breath, breaking the kiss that stole his sanity. “Can’t.” He breathed out… pushing his hands down into the mattress to lift himself off of her. “Not yet.” He kissed her again, a shorter but no less heated one. She was panting, her lips tinged red from his stubble. He pressed his brow to hers, holding her eyes… watching as they turned glassy on him.

He shushed her softly, ran the backs of his fingers along her cheek. “Te amo, mi esposa.” He kissed her softer then, just a peck really but it was sweet. He caught a tear on her temple and wiped it away. You come back this time, Simón… or don’t ever come back. He gave a nod, hearing the seriousness in her words… and the warning. “I will.” And he meant it. He climbed off the bed and took a deep breath before he pulled his mask on… then his gloves, hiding himself away. He looked down at her… bending slightly to brush some of her hair off her brow. “Still so beau’iful.” He said low and felt her bat his hand away, a bashful sort of smirk on her face. He couldn’t help his own huff of a smirk. Still so full of ca-ca. He chuckled and made for the door. Him and Soap stole a truck on the street and were out of the city in no time, aiming for Alejandro’s safe-house. He ignored Soap’s probing gaze.

Getting Alejandro his base back… shutting Graves and his men down… it all took a lot longer than he’d planned. But it was done. As Price, Gaz, and Soap all readied to return home… he glanced over his shoulder at Rudy. The man was eyeballing him with a hardened look… he must have spoken with Maria. He sighed when Price nudged his shoulder. Let’s head out. “Not comin’.” He heard himself say. He looked back into Price’s suddenly very serious eyes. “Got some business to wrap up before I head back.” He took a breath. “If I head back.” Price’s jaw flexed. You know this isn’t over. He gave a slight nod. “It might be for me.” He said simply. Yeah, he knew that Markarov was at the root of this. Yeah, he knew that. But he also knew that there would always be a big bad guy at the center of it.

There would always be another enemy pointing a gun at the world. And there would always be another operative. It didn’t have to always be him. “I’ll let you know.” Price’s aw tensed again, his mustache flaring. The thing about being dead, like him… was that he technically wasn’t in the SAS. He technically wasn’t in anything. He was dead. Legally speaking. So, Price couldn’t order him onto that plane and Price knew it. I’ll be waiting for your word, then. He nodded and Price walked off, obviously angry… but he’d get over it. Or he wouldn’t. Simon couldn’t control that. He waved Gaz and Soap off before he turned around and gave a nod to Rudy. The look Rudy gave him was half approving and half relieved.

This time… the sun was out when he climbed the stairs to the apartment… and the door was open, though the metal door was still shut and auto-locked. He didn’t let himself in this time, though. He knocked… and waited.

To be continued… probably.