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doeblossom · 1 year ago

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What was it like for Doe Whispers growing up with Raine as a parent?

this is an excellent question! ive been wanting to write all of this down so this is an excellent opportunity :D (please excuse how long it took for me to answer this, i spent a long time writing and double checking things to ensure they align with canon haha)

all of the following is headcanon about raine too. because theyre so cool and swag and i love them. warning: this is kinda long, but i wanna be thorough! but TL;DR, they try their best and are very loving, but being a busy single parent doesnt leave much room for quality time

Pre-Parenthood Raine wanted to be a parent; not only to start a family with Eda, but also just to experience raising a kid of their own and being a parent. After breaking up with Eda, they joined the Bard coven and started their teaching career. Rather than staying in Bonesborough and starting a career at Hexside (which is apparently located on the right arm), they moved closer to the castle. I imagine this is somewhere around Latissa, if not exactly in Latissa. Once their career was stable, they had Boe. Boe wasn't conceived through traditional means. Her conception was magical, and while there was outside input for her genetic makeup, Raine is the only involved parent. (Side note: Doe and Boe are both very similar, and it's debatable which one is her real name. "Boe" is fun because "Raine" + "Boe" = "RaineBoe", but this is still an insert character. For the sake of consistency through the post, I'll be calling her "Boe", but either works.)

Early Life Boe was raised with as much love as a parent could provide for their child. Up until she was about 4, Raine gave her all of their attention. Based on this post quoting Avi Roque, Raine's voice actor, there are two specific headcanons I have about them as a parent: 1) They would go by "Papa" (I wanted to match the term "Mama Eda", and feel like they would be more comfortable with masculine terms.) 2) There would be a lot of holding, handling, hugging, etc (Raine's love language is touch, so there's a lot of physical affection) Around when she was 4-5, Raine was offered a teaching position directly under the Emperor himself. And at this point is where things get VERY busy and difficult.

As a teacher, Raine wanted to be the primary one with a hand in Boe's upbringing and education. That, along with Bards having a less-than-stellar reputation, And Boe being one of those kids to easily get sick, led to her being homeschooled in bard magic. Unfortunately, a single teacher's salary can definitely not afford daycare (Belos is cruel and unjust) so Boe spent a lot of time in the faculty lounge, doing her homework, drawing, reading, etc. However, the flow of new people and students allowed her at least a little bit of interaction with others.

While Raine climbed the ladder, and learned more about Belos's corruption, Boe was left mostly to her own devices. Unfortunately, their busy life led to their relationship stunting. Yes, they still love each other as family, and they know each other very well, but from around 10-14, Boe started keeping a lot of things to herself. Throughout all of this, Raine's been busy starting a rebellion. And does Boe know? No. A lot of things rebellion related, she simply assumes is part of Raine's "Work".

Joining Canon Once Raine is elevated to a high enough status where they are set as Scooter Crane's replacement as Head Witch of the Bard coven (a couple of months before the show begins; Boe is just under, or has recently turned 16), they move into the castle permanently. The Emperor, in all his grace, provides Boe boarding as well, provided she follows in Raine's footsteps or studies to become a part of the Emperor's Coven. With all of her schooling, it's fine, but she doesn't really know if she wants to be a Bard. Sure, it's what she's most proficient in and trained to do, but there's a million different options out there to explore. Raine is very good at their job, and vocal about the need for Bards to be respected, so imagine how awfully disappointing it would be for their own, only child to pursue something else. So she just says nothing.

During Canon Working at the castle is so incredibly busy. Obviously. Raine tries to see their kid at least daily, but it's still a difficult thing. Most often, it's a wordless hug or a passing pat on the head as they rush off to another meeting (coven related or otherwise). Around this time, Boe finds out there are TWO (count 'em: two) other kids in the castle. And she wants to be friends with them SO bad. But that's a story for another time; let's just say it eventually happens.

Yes, Boe realizes something's happened after Eda's Requiem. It's subtle, and weird, but a lot of Raine's mannerisms on the surface had changed. But when they interact, nothing's different, so she brushes it off again.

Hollow Mind Heart There's a reattempt of the mind spell. But through some shenanigans, rather than Hunter and Luz going into the Emperor's mind, Sol and Boe end up in Raine's. And they see everything. And it goes about as well as you expect. Sol, understandably, runs away from the coven much like Hunter did, but in less of a "my life will end if I stay" manner; more of a "I cannot work for this man anymore" way. Boe, however, stays. She's quiet about it all, and the rift between her and Raine widens even more. She does stay at the castle, if only for a sense of stability. But best you believe she's doomsday prepping in there. Packing all of her important things in a single bag, hoarding whatever snacks she can snag, and not talking to anyone.

aaaand that's about where we are right now! i'm currently writing stuff for post hollow mind + human realm era. but in the epilogue, i imagine they become close again! but being isolated from them right after finally being ready to talk again is difficult.

#answered #anon #doe whispers #toh oc #toh

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toughtink · 2 years ago

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some post-nona thoughts and questions in no particular order:

and this will be long and full of spoilers, sorry

so is silas coming back next time? because i have questions about wtf took over his cav especially seeing as those tongue eye things showed up on the ninth house. biblically, silas traveled with paul, so maybe paul will be related to his comeback? idk

what’s with the tower? “kironia” and ianthe are referred to as “tower princes,” the RB was yelling about a tower to nona via judith, and we got a big tower coming out of the river now?? and the whole “the tower has reactivated” cipher or whatever it said, too. the only tower that’s been story relevant thus far is canaan house + the facility beneath it. harrow estimated they only saw ~30% of that tower with the rest going deep under the ocean, which i always took to mean that it was originally a sky scraper that they built a temple/church/palace on top of. OH YEAh! and a tower is in the jod chapters maybe??? it was confusing. (gasp! what! confusing??? in this series?!)

so is nona translating a ton of people’s names when she hears them, and that’s why she calls corona “crown” and has that exchange with hot sauce where she gets corrected on born in the morning’s name? and this is a separate thing from the multi-sentence long names that seem to be BoE tradition?

speaking of weird name stuff, the jod chapters have him using intials to refer to his friends! that was annoying but implies that they didn’t all used to have their fancy mouthful names which makes some sense, especially since jod specifically mentions changing U— and T— to ulysseys and titania. however, i’ve seen a lot of folks under the assumption that he wiped his friend’s memories after rezzing them, but is there evidence for that? i gotta reread htn, but i know that mercy didn’t seem to realize that gideon’s gold eye color was jod’s before it was alecto’s and only put it together near the end—point in memory loss’s favor (tho i don’t think we can officially say it’s purposeful on jod’s part yet.) HOWEVER!! when nona & the gang are approaching the tomb near the end of ntn, pyrrha mentions gideon (the first) and after saying his name a couple times says “G—” like jod does in his chapters!! implying that pyrrha might just know gideon’s pre-resurrection name! so either jod’s friends did retain their pre-res memories OR that memory loss thing happened later, probably post lyctorhood if it could affect the lyctors but not the cav secretly residing inside still??? idk. EDIT: my frand ginny pointed out that on pg 433 jod talks about how his friends “won’t have to remember anything,” because he knows where remembrance lives in the brain, and this sort of mirrors harrow own attempt to alter her memories. i think with pyrrha remembering g1deon’s name, we can say these are likely altered memories rather than a complete clean slate.

i need people to realize that when nona describes “teeth” coming out of gideon’s speed holes, it’s most likely ribs and not literal teeth. also—the speed holes joke is maybe one of my favorites in this book and incontrovertible proof that kironia is indeed our gideon.

i want to know more about anastasiaaaaa! was she another married/romantically involved pair with her cav? did pyrrha mention something about painting a nursery on the ninth?? what if anastasia was pregnant when her lyctorhood went wrong????

what’s this with cassiopeia and the sixth house in communication? that was her house, right? also, cass is the C— mentioned in jod chapters that marries the artist N— (nigella) and has teeth flowers at their wedding. also, she had the tooth trial at canaan house. and the tooth secret message in the corresponding study. what’s with all the teeth? lol

that tooth secret message was about doing soul melanges to power the canaan house staff, including teacher! 6th house theorm was soul melange related, so paul makes sense!!! ;v; (it should be noted that everything with cam, pal, and paul had me in tears and i’m never getting over their recorded conversation.)

gideon is clearly missing pieces figuratively and literally (her heart!! 🥺). TM said that if gideon’s soul was a happy meal, harrow ate the cheeseburger, but that leaves the fries, sauce packets, and toy. so where’s the cheeseburger now? attached to harrow’s soul? or attached to her body? completely absorbed and essentially gone? something has to be powering nona’s lyctoral regeneration powers so i’m kinda team body. that and the fact that she’s wearing the cheeseburger shirt and that feels like TM trying to give us a giant neon sign of a hint?

as for harrow…i saw the icy tomb she climbed into at the end of htn as a metaphorical tomb in her mind, between the lobotomy slits i guess where she was keeping gideon’s soul, thus the nonexistent sexy magazine. ntn makes me think she was also in the actual tomb, aka fully swapped places with alecto? but i suppose either could be true. the jod chapters feel like she’s tapping into alecto’s memories and subbing in herself maybe? that doesn’t really say much about the literal placement of harrow’s soul, tho, just that she has a connection with alecto.

anyways, it looks like she woke up long enough for the epilogue and then promptly passed out again (woo go girl! give us nothing!). and we know that she’s going to be harrowing hell at the start of atn?? good luck have fun i guess???

oh yeah is part of the reason nona’s not all there because not only is she in the wrong body, but she’s dealing with harrow’s lobotomy brain???

gonna come back and add more laterrr—edit: i’ve come back SEVERAL times to add more. maybe i should just reblog or make a new post for more. 🙈 i’m at the end of my gtn reread so htn will be next. oof that one will take a while methinks! and then i can reread nona…which will be my first Proper read through for the final version since i’ve only read the ARC months ago and some random passages since it came out.

#nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb spoilers #ntn #gtn #htn #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth

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boeing747 · 3 years ago

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what is the meaning of the numbers on plane models, like a Boeing 747 vs 737? figured you would have a more interesting answer than google :3

Well I mean generally plane models are differentiated by numbers ummm bc it's cool and as basically they're just like car models lmfao so with civilian aircraft the numbers don't mean much beyond differentiation and marketing. with Boeing specifically it's bc they made all sorts of different planes and the 300 and 400 were for military stuff and the 500 for turbines I think and idk what 600 is for but the 700 was for jets and they put the 7 at the end bc its sexier? Afaik? So like 747 and 727 etc and not 740 because it sounds more awesome.

As for what they are uh 707 was Boeings first jet and they're super sexy and retired. 717 is a smaller single isle guy and I think it's sort of related to the dc9. 727 are those super sexy ones with the three rear engines famous for umm DB Cooper highjacked this one and jumped out of its epic aft stairs. 737 is the just some guy of airplanes I think every single jet plane is basically a 737 you can't convince me otherwise. It's your bog standard fucking plane. 747 is my beloved and it's the big fucking four engine woman with the hump (also modified to be the dreamlifter or the funniest plane in the world)

757 I think is a spiritual successor to 727 but with less engines I guess they go a bit farther and its a narrow body jet but to be quite honest i only see UPS fly them here as cargo planes so idk. 767 is a wide body two engine jet which is a bit older and also only basically used here by package guys like DHL and they all life in Leipzig they go there every night to sleep😴✈️

777 is like the previous one but even bigger. absolutely massive twin jet I think it might be the biggest?? Don't quote me. They are so big the emirates one that flies here rattles the shit out of my windows. Also you can tell one bc they have 12 main landing gear in 4 sets of three fun fact. Also the newest model has folding wings bc they're too wide for airports which is fucking awesome hope they don't break off ❤️. 787 is also the newest model in the lineup and it's meant to be like very efficient and it's like 80% composite or something and replace uhhh the 767 I think? Whatever theyre very sexy airplanes in my personal opinion that wing flex. That aerodynamics. So cool.

Sorry aside from that rant that's what they mean. The bjg families also have subcategories bc there's different kinds of them. You may have heard of the 737 max❤️

But tbh that's just boeing. Airbus has vaguely similar naming for some reason like their a380 being the biggest airplane ever forever (rest in peace mriya) the a320 being the just some guy of jets part two but from Europe (including a319 which is smaller and a321 which is a bit bigger) etc.

The other guys who make smaller jets I'm not as aware of personally. Anyway the general idea is bigger number equals bigger airplane or sexier engine or newer airplane or more engines or different kind of engine. You know how it is

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thewhitefluffyhat · 2 years ago

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Day Three

[This is the fourth part of a collected liveblog/analysis of Nona the Ninth! See here for the other parts.]

In this section, the pieces start falling into place as more familiar faces finally show up!

Chapter 11

-p134 I’m amused at how Muir predicted just how much the fandom would obsess over the Pool Scene that we wouldn’t mind repeated clumsy re-enactments of it to tear apart for more specific details haha. Gideon and Harrow’s arms were where and where, you say?

On the other hand, the link to a beloved scene almost makes me think this is a feint - that it’s not the scene from GtN, but something else entirely. I can’t imagine what, though. John sealing away Alecto? The water being liquid rather than ice means it can’t be Harrow seeing Alecto for the first time or anything like that.

-p134 lmao Nona specifically saying the feelings in the Pool Scene were not sexy. *raises eyebrow at piles and piles of post-Pool Scene explicit fic*

Although honestly, Nona’s was always my interpretation of that scene - I’ve read a few of those fics, but they’re not really my cup of tea. In canon, there were so many new and conflicting and difficult emotions going on in that scene for both characters that it always feels jarring to transition it to straightforward horniness. I could see it happening later, perhaps. But not then.

-p135 So Muir wasn’t kidding in that interview about Nona wanting to talk about things that make her horny!

Nona finding flowers sexy is yet another one of those things that makes zero sense as Gideon or Harrow, but all the sense if you assume she’s Alecto/Earth. From a planet’s perspective, the shampoo ad is just another giant picture of sex organs, after all! Why wouldn’t it be extremely sexy?

[Later me: Given that Nona is indeed Alecto/Earth, I hope someone somewhere writes a fic of Nona getting off to like… watching bees pollinate flowers or other utterly nonhuman reproductive methods. Nature and sex are weird! Run with it! XD]

-p135 If Nona does end up being Gideon or Harrow, I imagine the fandom is going to spend a lot of time analyzing this scene of Nona insisting she has a deep need to know what Pal finds sexy.

After all, we did know Gideon was jealous of Pal/Harrow… plenty of ways to take that.

-p138 Oh. Hot Sauce has burns. Hot Sauce has burns and goes to the cages. She can’t be a necro because Herald madness, but hm. Hmhm. She has something to do with them.

Also, on the subject of the cages - my take on the implications here is that Pyrrha went to the cages not to rescue the people, but for info gathering and possibly to shoot them to give them quick deaths.

-p139 And now we’ve got a conversation about Pyrrha’s type. Which we kind of already knew from Wake’s notes! Woman likes to live dangerously, apparently.

-p139 I continue to enjoy how this series describes very pale white skin tones. (See also: descriptions of Ianthe and Cytherea.) I have that skin tone myself, and I hate how it’s usually romanticized and seen as the pinnacle of beauty. In reality, it is seriously gross!

Ooh, and Nona saying she doesn’t like redheads when Gideon is one… very hm. Even if Nona was very much not thinking about Gideon in her reply here, because Gideon has darker skin!

-p140 Welp, I see we’re going to have a bunch of nurse!Cam and nurse!Dulcie art and fanfic now given Pal’s answer…

I’m amused at how Nona immediately assumes Cam lied and not that she didn’t know. Which, tbf, is my read of it too.

-p140 Okay, Nona wishing she had someone else to eat food for her is both very #relatable and also something that I’ve seen in a few Gideon and Harrow fics!

-p140 end - WELP THEN

Chapter 12

-Describing Crown’s golden hair - oh. OH. Ha, how did I not figure it out before? She’s Coronabeth, isn’t she? Charismatic and beautiful and committed to BOE’s cause.

Judith isn’t We Suffer, is she? Or more likely, “The Captain” from the guest list?

p144 Yup, “The Captain” is Judith!

-p148 Ah, our first look at true BOE! Apparently, they’re really into the mask aesthetic,

Which is an interesting choice isn’t it? Usually it’s the evil empire and their Stormtrooper-esque grunts who wear the humanity and empathy-removing masks!

Of course, the coronavirus pandemic also puts another meaning/implication on the table…

-p148 Ha! We get Corona’s full BOE name! No obvious other languages in the middle, so I’m not sure where the component pieces begin and end. Looking forward to seeing analysis of it on tumblr.

-The term Ctesiphon for the BOE cells has come up several times. Another thing I’ll have to read analysis of to understand the reference.

-p149 Oh boy, writing a character (We Suffer) with an accent can be… tricky… to pull off respectfully. Is We Suffer’s just a generic accent, or is the awkward grammar meant to be similar to another real language?

-p150 Heh, a good bit of humanizing here. Despite the mask and the voice changer, this BOE bodyguard is still spoiling for a fight.

-p153 As Ianthe coined “Harry,” Corona coined “Millie.” The twins really do think alike in some ways…

-p153 So Corona is bi! *briefly considers the shippable male characters in this series* yeah no, that’s still not happening

-p154 As I thought, Varun is the BOE name for the RB. Ooh, and later we get the BOE names (codenames?) for the Lyctors too!

If I ever do make that giant character names spreadsheet, should I add a column for these names… hm… probably...

-p156 Ooh, so Cytherea was working with BOE! Good to have that confirmed. It was speculated, but unclear how much she was working with Augustine and Mercymorn or BOE.

But yeah, seems like her deal on Canaan House was personal revenge, not a BOE plot in any way

-You know I’ve been assuming zombies = necros, but I think it might be closer to just anyone from the Nine Houses? Since they were all resurrected, after all.

-p159 Ah, so Juno Zeta is part of the hostage sixteen. Expected, but that continues to make the situation even more fraught.

Chapter 13

-p162 “Our Lady of the Passion” aka Pash was the bodyguard, and Nona knew her name all along. Huh. Also, nepotism? Is she related to We Suffer or Unjust Hope, or even Wake?

-p163 Yup, we’re visiting Judith. Who is probably completely Herald-mad at this point. Man, poor girl cannot catch a break, can she?

-p165 Hmhm! Is that the RB speaking through Judith to Nona? I’m pretty sure it is! Which suggests the other RBs are probably sapient too…

-p171 Heh, of course the RB wouldn’t speak in a human tongue. And of course, Nona understands anyway!

Chapter 14

-p174 That’s pretty much confirming Jodybeth is canon, isn’t it! (Now if only they would both stop being idiots…)

At the same time wiping out Corona x Cam. (And Corona x Harrow, but does anyone ship that on its own?) Sad trombone.

-p175 I wonder who Corona was reminded of here? Perhaps more of Ianthe, but perhaps Gideon? Harrow? Someone else? >p177 Ah, I think here she’s reminded of Gideon, and previously it was Harrow.

-p177 Hm, what does Corona think Nona is? I’m imagining it’s that she’s Harrow as a full Lyctor, but that also doesn’t seem quite right….

Chapter 15

-p184 Born in the Morning is a he and his name is in a different language, I’m guessing? Because Nona doesn’t realize when she translates, so she seems to have said it in the wrong language at first here.

[Later me: It will turn out that Born in the Morning really does have ties to BOE, but if Nona is translating without realizing it, then do all names sound like that to her? Maybe Honesty is actually, idk, Veronica or Kurt or something like that, and Nona just autotranslates it to be the root meaning.]

-p184 Seems like Hot Sauce is in a group that’s even more anti-necro than BOE. Perhaps one of the anarchist factions briefly mentioned?

-p185 Ohh, was Hot Sauce an original inhabitant of the planet? And her brothers died fighting the Cohort invasion. (The explosive bodies is a specifically Fourth trick, iirc.)

Man, the subtle tragedy of the 14 year olds in this series both being soldiers on the opposite sides of a genocidal war. If Hot Sauce ever met Isaac or Jeannemary, they would literally kill each other, and not in a funny way at all…

-p186 Hm, what is the Secret that Nona has? Have we been shown this yet

Yeah I don’t think we’re supposed to know the Secret. A clinic and organ markets - does Nona think her heart or brain will give out?

John 8:1

-p189 It was pretty obvious that if the “present” of the dream was ever reality, it was Alecto and John post-perfect lyctorhood. But if there were any doubt, John is now described to have the weird, inhuman eyes.

-p189 There’s a Mars installation and still Flat Earthers exist. Of course.

-p190 I have a feeling this section, with the references to YouTube and streaming, may be one of the aspects of these books that ages the quickest.

-p191 So Alfred was a hedge fund manager in a past life. Some cavs do deserve Lyctorhood lol.

-p193 We’re doing a lot to make John sympathetic here. My called shot in my HtN thoughts was that if John ends up “redeemed” or portrayed too sympathetically, it will cause a lot of furor within the fandom (based on my experiences in another fandom). *grimace intensifies*

[Later me: I shouldn’t have worried, this was one bullet NtN dodged! Even with these earlier sections, John is still the Worst!]

-Also, everyone was so sure necromancy came from John killing the ten billion, but it really seems like it didn’t? Unless all of John’s story is a convenient lie… And we do know that John lies…

Chapter 16

-Come to think of it, I’m surprised “necromancer” is a banned word for Nona. Pal called it “superstition.” But that’s what they’re called in the Nine Houses??

-p197 And now we see the House propaganda tactics. Apparently they have videos and projector tech too!

-p198 Noodle was bred to have an “arboreal” pair of legs? Wild. But at least the extra legs don’t seem to be hurting him, unlike poor pugs who were bred to barely be able to breathe.

-p203 When you’re in, you’re in. Given the mention of Hokey Pokey, this was almost certainly Nona remembering John teaching Alecto. No one on the Ninth would reference that lol.

-As a reader, of course I want to see more worldbuilding of the House overtures, but in-character - the contrivances to get Nona to go to the broadcast seem a bit awkward and forced.

-p205 Huh. So House projector tech involves silvery hexagons that light up. No idea what’s going on there, if it’s meant to evoke any real tech at all.

-I’m 50/50 on whether this is genuine overtures or as the people suspect, just getting a big crowd to kill them all. Actually going up to angry people and thinking that showing a nice, happy movie would help does seem like John being his funny doofus self - but underneath the “just some guy”-isms, John’s empire is also a terrifyingly functional fascist war machine, so it’s always hard to predict which way he will swing…

-...The unrehearsed and snippy nature of the speaker of the broadcast initially makes me think Mercy. But Mercy is dead. Ianthe, then?

-p207 Brown hair, but very pale skin, hm? Oh, and the blue-brown eyes are a giveaway. Did Ianthe get Babs’s hair color because of her dip in the River at the end of HtN?

Outside chance that this is Babs somehow (if Ianthe didn’t survive the trip back from the River at all?), though in theory he should have Ianthe’s eyes if that were the case.

-p207 New Rho! We finally have a name for this planet they’re on!

-208 Ah. So this is an ultimatum directed at Corona and the rest, isn’t it. But mostly Corona I suspect.

-Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, eh? Seems like some level of Ianthe-Babs fusion went down... now that is something I wasn’t expecting!

Also, Saint of Awe? Hmhm, I’ve seen that as a possible title for Ianthe in fics before! Did someone leak ARC details, or just a good guess?

-p209 Oh, so THAT’S where Gideon’s body went!

Is… is she even alive at all, or just being puppeted by Ianthe’s necromancy?

And hey! Now we have a name for Divine Highness Gideon! “Crown Prince Kiriona Gaia” huh.

Also looks like I was right that the dream girl was Gideon.

Also also, I guess Gideon’s body was the precious thing that was lost in the attack mentioned way earlier!

-p210 Okay yeah Gideon’s still a corpse. Is anyone inhabiting the corpse?

-”Anyway!” Ianthe is still hilariously casual at these official proclamations, you’d think she wasn’t raised from birth to become a political leader. :P

-pfff OF COURSE this would end in a “is this still on?” joke. OF COURSE

-p216 I haven’t done much speculating about Angel (Aim?). But with the driver speaking good House - could they be another runaway House member? Even a Lyctor, perhaps?

-p218 Oh dear, Pyrrha is missing! But it’s Pyrrha, she can take care of herself, at least… right? Right??

-Huh, another John dream? Did Nona faint?

John 19:18

-p220 Ulysses and Titania were Fourth, weren’t they? Some historical rhyming going on with the Fourth representatives always being seen as kids compared to the others.

-p222-223 Ah, and as long predicted, here’s the disappeared trillionaires who abandoned the Earth. And presumably, John is still searching for them.

But it wasn’t even clear if the FTL travel would work. Maybe they all just phased out into a planet and died. And this whole quest for revenge is meaningless.

But then, where did BOE and the human population on other planets come from, if not from the trillionaires? So who/what is John searching for?

Or was Augustine wrong about the searching part? Maybe this is more of a [uh, FFXIV spoilers I guess?] Dragonsong War situation. Just an endless meat grinder of vengeance where the continuing suffering is the entire point.

Day Four >>

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #tlt analysis #my ramblings #my tlt stuff #read more #thoughts on ntn

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capri-ramblings · 4 years ago

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Idk if anyone still remembers this but I actually forgot I finished chapter 3 about a week ago and didn't even posted it 🙂 still kinda confusing I think? But I promise, It'll come together soon 😤💖

[ R a p t u r e d ]

Chapter Three

The walls encasing your freedom began to simmer your frustration, and when a spiral staircase immerged from the wooden floorboards right across the room, your hands reflexively balled into fists.

Though when an unfamiliar face greeted you, they uncurled and from where you sat on the chaise beside your only window, your figure hunched over to pull your knees closer to your body. You'd been reacting so defensively lately, it almost felt natural now.

"Did they send you up to finally get rid of me?" Your words were harsh, a deep grating rage lacing each enunciation you spat out and yet the girl seemed unfazed as her lips curled into a small smile.

"I don't think they're that merciful, but Prince Leona has stated multiple times he'd rather you be dead."

"Who are you then?"

"An ally" She answered then rather hastily added, "If you'd allow it."

You scoffed,bitter and dry you almost sounded gruff and nasally.

"Like I allowed to be imprisoned and kept like an animal?"

The girl's expression softened and she gave what seemed to be an understanding nod before she placed both hands behind her back and stood poised before you.

"Boe" She said, "My name is Boe. As in the kind you'd use to hunt with but with an 'E' at the end because my nan felt it was creative." She sounded pleasant, to be honest,she looked decent as well, like a very familiar face you'd seen somewhere and yet nowhere at the same time. She wore her hair in two loose twin braids,her simple beige coloured tunic and short khakis gave her overall soft, feminine looks a rather boyish touch. And when she smiled it was genuinely given.

Despite yourself, Boe's appearance had you feeling a little less hostile and perhaps even a bit more hopeful.

"I made them an offer" You told her and again she nodded her head.

"To kill your brother in exchange for your freedom. Why?"

"Isn't that what they wanted? That bastard killed their beast and the only reason I'm here is because he's traded me off for his glory."

Boe seemed surprised at how you caught onto the situation at hand but you could see how calculative her eyes were. She may have looked pleasant but you weren't foolish enough to trust her, and if she knew your captives then chances are she wasn't just some typical servant running errands. They sent her up to you to talk, which meant they trusted her. And they didn't look like the trusting type.

"He and I aren't related by blood" You told her, scornfully. "It doesn't take much to piece up my being here, and I'll tell you now that he's not coming to save me. Not when he has every village folk singing his glory and the King welcoming him in his halls."

You sounded so dejected, Boe practically felt the heat of rage circulating through the room, but she also sensed sorrow. A sort of grief from the way you hunched yourself over. You've been through a lot, she could see that much.

"Tell me, did you ever believe the story your land has? It's history with the Faefolk and magic?"

You knew little. Simply enough to have your mind wander, but every child was like that, and when it was time to face the world and grow up, the stories you used to cling to before sleeping became just that; Stories.

So, you told Boe you didn't. You told her you knew the land has always been lavish, that it had always been easy to farm and make produce because it's forests were endless and green. It was because it was placed right in the centre of a growing land, wasn't it? Magic felt too foreign to have been a part of it all.

But then she told you of the story of a man planting a seed given to him by a generous Fae, and that the seed grew into a tree and another and another, until it formed a forest so lush and rich with life, people came to the land as a place of salvation. She told you that the Fae was the Mother Goddess Gaia and that she had made a pact with the humans who stayed in her grounds. They were allowed to grow and live as they wanted as long as her generosity was remembered. Thus the human built shrine after shrine in her name, and the land never once withered. Until weeks after your brother slayed the beast.

You sat there facing her,baffled and refused to believe in such a tale so easily, told yourself that no such thing could be possible...

Yet, the tower that kept you had nothing but a single window and a door that only seemed to appear when called. You remember how you tried climbing down through the window and how your makeshift rope snapped and you thought you'd fall to your death but instead you stayed in the air. Frozen.

As your hardened gaze looked to Boe and the faint light of the sun peeked through the window and into the room, you noticed the slight point of her ears and how in that specific lighting her features looked ethereal,as if she was carved out from a completely different mold.

You've seen those features before. A long,long time ago. The brief memory tucked behind the grains of your mind.

You must've laughed because Boe's expression shifted into confusion, and you ran your hands through your hair as a slight colour flickered to life in your eyes.

"You must think I've gone crazy. Wanting to kill my own brother but I've never seen him as family, and I'm sure he feels the same. It's the only thing we have in common."

"You'd really kill him for your freedom?" Boe asked, almost quietly.

You lifted your gaze,heavy and dark but driven with determination.

"Wouldn't you? It sounds selfish and maybe it is but hasn't he done the same to me? Ever since mother died, I was left under his care which meant he'd been shackled to me against his will and now I'm here and he's drinking in the castle." Your voice shifted, breathless and worn. You wanted to stand, to show to her that you weren't as weak as your captives had force you to be. That you meant what you said.

"I don't care about being kind and understanding anymore. I want to be released. I want to take back what I've lost and if that means killing Cyril and appeasing your Princes, so be it."

***

"You could be their Champion" Boe said as she stared you up and down,her gaze flickering with something you couldn't quite put a finger on. But she smiled when her eyes landed on your face, and a slight shade of pink dusted your cheeks. Though you felt it was because she had been nothing but open in her discussion and all you ever did was scowl and kept your distance.

And perhaps,you couldn't really be blamed for any of it given your own situation, but maybe it wasn't too harmful to act a bit more cooperative...

"A champion?" You repeated the words with your brows furrowed and lips down-curled.

Boe nodded her head.

"Faes often keep champions in order to settle certain affairs,like a representative or a tribute on their part without having to physically attend said affairs themselves, and unlike most dealings, this one has the exceptional perk of not being entirely enslaved by the Fae you serve under"

"...You mean if I agreed to being their... Champion? I wouldn't owe them anything?"

You know the tales of giving your thanks to the Gentry, and how such unfortunate humans fell to the mercy of the cunning creatures. A slight shiver ran up the length of your arm, but you fought the urge to look disgruntled, and simply crossed your arms.

Boe's smile widened a fraction.

"Yes, and I can't tell you why such a thing is possible in the first place, not because I don't want to but because I also do not know the reason behind it. It's said that this pact Faes have created with humans is a rare thing and a ritual they hold with great respect. If you so desire to kill your brother and gain your freedom, being the Princes' Champion is perhaps the best and only way."

"But how can I trust them to hold onto their end of the bargain? I might not have full belief in all your fae nonsense, but I know that whatever you are, your kind are known to be cunning and slippery!"

You felt like jabbing an accusing finger to her chest then,but you bit back the venom on your tongue and swallowed your carousing temper from erupting. Anger did no good in discussions after all. You learned that from years living with your step brother.

Despite it all however,Boe didn't seem to mind your frustration or hostility. In fact, she remained informative and calm, you began understanding why she had been sent up in the first place.

Unlike the Princes themselves, Boe didn't have any intimidation oozing from her demeanor. She came as a neutral party, neither to nurse nor make you submit.

Perhaps her words were the most trustworthy you'd have here.

Perhaps being a Champion was your only way out.

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freebooter4ever · 3 years ago

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Ref anon: I hope you can get help for that pain. Maybe a nerve is pinched? I'm really not sure about my future. I have a lot of hobbies but just work a shit customer service job. Getting motivation to do drawing at all is difficult let alone animate. Which is a great mental state to be in when my only plan for my whole life since childhood was animation. 🤷‍♀️

its tendonitis and im pretty sure the only way to get rid of it is to take a break from working which is obviously not possible so just gonna ignore it till i die i guess \o/

so yeah you struck a cord with me, this got long...

i cant help with motivation, i have too much of it. i lived with my grandparents for a year while grandpa was sick, and it was the first time they'd ever really seen me /work/ and even they were shocked. it really is constant - if i have twenty minutes and im not using it to draw its wasted time, you know? my first roommate here in LA was concerned too - she kept trying to get me to stop working and go out and back then my excuse was i didnt have a job and no money for going out, but really im just like that all the time. i try to balance it with seeing friends and social media and everyday shit like eating food, but its hard, my favorite people are the ones who will just sit and work with me lol! (or going out and working in places im not alone and quiet). i guess what im saying is...if its really your passion, is it not there all the time? i only ask because it took me a long time to realize that although i loved to analyze animation and watch it - the way i process art doesnt quite have what it takes to do that. we all love the end product, but just because the animation part is the most front facing part...doesn't mean that's necessarily where your actual passion might lie...if that makes sense? there's SO MUCH to do in the animation industry, its crazy. for me, i finally realized that all my obsessive energy revolved around character and especially faces, and i just started focusing on that. i would much rather be concepting a wide variety of characters than spending a whole year animating about one minute of a two hour movie.

that said there's also the sad reality that some people have had doors open more easily than others. i feel you about being stuck in a retail job you feel wasted in :( im sorry you are in that position. i hope you are able to make a change, but i understand just how fucking /trapped/ that can be. watching life slip by into nothingness while the tiny snatches of meaning only happen during off hours and scraped together seconds of free time. one of the biggest ironies though is that this is how a lot of original animators felt about dsn*y. i mentioned that on my road trip i stayed with the son of an animator who worked on snow wh*te - he wasnt one of the 9 old men but he was their contemporary and friend, and the animator took the job just to make money off his art. animation just wasnt his full passion and he eventually quit, moved up north, and started experimenting with helicopters and boe*ng lol.

and in reverse of that, as i grew up with a father and a grandfather who worked for boe*ng and the US space program, ALL my open doors were flight and space related - my cousin currently works for N A S A and my other cousin for boe*ng - they took the doors but i didnt want anything to do with it. it took years for my grandpa to finally come to terms with the fact that my passion for art was as strong as his passion for airplanes. he grew up a farm boy daydreaming about flying, and had to take a circuitous route to finally get there - army, college, mechanical engineering, finally rockets. he gave my dad and me all the chances grandpa would have wanted as a kid - my dad took them - i didnt want any of it. i would much rather have had those chances that the animator got.

and then of course there are the institutionalized gates - barriers against entry for women, minorities, LGBQT, people without money...its a LOT to fight against. which is of course why we celebrate the exceptional people who DO break through those barriers and succeed despite it all. but it can be demoralizing to be on the other side of those barriers. demoralizing is too soft a word. i dont think there is a word for how much it can hurt.

some wisdom that might help: randy pa*usch's last lecture - he is a white male who definitely does not understand the race/sex 'walls', but he makes good points, and also he came at the animation industry sideways for very similar reasons - through education and research rather than the traditional job promotion route. and then someone closer to my own age/time: justin scar*ed - i dont mean his road trip videos, i mean the old vlogs from 3-6 years ago when he was 31 divorced and depressed and realizing he had to release himself from his own pressure of his music career. his quest for positivity is an interesting concept, and i sympathized with that feeling of your life taking a direction you didnt chase after but somehow ends up being the thing you were actually looking for the entire time. if you want a success story there’s always my favorite: steve aok*. he went against everything that was set up for him in life and still made it work ^_^ (of course of these three, guess who also grew up the rich kid lol). or norman re*dus who quite literally accidentally became a model and successful actor. im paraphrasing this horribly, but my impression was that as a teenager he was selling shitty cat paintings on the streets of paris - which sounds romantic but miserable at the same time - and then followed a girl to california, got a crappy job in a motorcycle shop, went to a party and yelled at some people from a balcony, landed his first stage role...and eventually created the character of daryl and finally got the chance to have his genius really shine. (sometimes i wonder though, if it was frustrating to end up being famous for acting rather than art which was arguably his true passion?)

i hope any of this helps, i am pretty exhausted lately so apologies if my sentences are incomprehensible in some parts. and you know, my DMs on here are open if you want to talk more specifically off anon <3

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paradoxcase · 11 months ago

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John 19:18

THE TOWER HAS R

Since normal humans can't do anything like this anyway and it doesn't seem like John has at this point in the story actually consumed anyone's soul, I guess by "the old difficult way" he's referring to his power level from before that happened, during the part of the story that we're reading now?

This is a piece of land that John just raised from the bottom of the ocean, but it already has a building and a car on it. I guess some flooding happened when the world ended? Also, I think that car is probably all dead, insert Miracle Max reference here

So, it's not like surprising or a revelation at this point, but here is positive evidence that a body can be physically alive and even healthy, but if it doesn't have a soul in it, it's not really living. I think if BOE had observed Gideon's body to be physically alive in some way but lacking a soul they would have described it differently; Gideon's body probably has some big holes in it because of the fence at this point, or at least it probably did at the time that BOE had it, so it wouldn't have been like Ulysses and Titania here, but it's not clear what the extent of Gideon's immortality is, exactly, if it means inconvenient holes get repaired or if she can be alive in spite of inconvenient holes, or what

Also, here we have that true resurrection doesn't just involve the physical act of repairing someone's body and starting it up again in some way, there has to be some element of retrieving a soul, presumably from the River

So whatever this is, I don't think anyone is using it 10,000 years later. The Nine Houses uses this stele system, which seems to be related to radio somehow, but you can't use it to go somewhere that's far away from a stele and they do know where they wind up. And BOE went out of their way to steal a ship with a stele just so they could use FTL travel, so they obviously don't have another means. I wonder what happened with this idea that caused it to be abandoned? Like, obviously the trillionaires who went off in their FTL ships did survive and I guess maybe became some of these other civilizations that John's fighting against, so it must have at least worked a little bit. But the stuff about "oscillating to a prearranged spectrum" makes me wonder if it isn't actually related to the steles at all? Or Augustine was right and there was no FTL at all

Also, I wonder if John does understand the math now after 10,000 years

This seems like such a weird argument to make? Like, I'm not sure if this interaction is happening in public or not. If it's a public thing, I can see them being like, this guy killed a bunch of poor innocent cows, how can we trust him??? but it sounds like a lot of this was private negotiations between John and the trillionaires, I think in those circumstances they wouldn't be talking about the poor innocent cows and would instead be saying things about how it's not a good investment, I don't think any trillionaires are going to be pretending to care about cows for just John's sake. And I mean, one of those guys is probably Elon Musk, right, can you see Elon Musk making this argument to anyone in any context? I really cannot

So again, it's sort of framed as being about the Earth, specifically, and not about the people and animals living on it... although, if this is Alecto's memory of John telling this story to her maybe he is phrasing everything that way for her benefit? Like obviously the greater injustice was leaving all of the people behind. The only real difference between what the trillionaires did and what John was planning to do was in how many people escaped, right? Like, John wasn't out there fighting oil companies and pollution either. Maybe when someone takes the ships you were planning to use to leave instead it's just easier to say "you abandoned the Earth, you cowards!" instead of "you left us behind, you bastards!" because then it's easier to claim the moral high ground, but I think they already could do that, since they were planning to take everyone and that was the whole point?

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth

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untaintedtea · 5 years ago

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I should have written this earlier when Witcher Netflix was more fresh in my mind (I haven't done a proper rewatch yet) but I still wanted to write a post about some thoughts I had (that I actually remember lol) and stuff I want in the next season. It's like 99% about Geralt/Yen/Ciri bc I have three brain cells and they're dedicated to them.

The spoiler-free stuff: I definitely loved it! There's some scenes in the book that I would have loved to have seen on screen that I'll mention later, but I really liked it for the most part. My main issue is the pacing, but I understand them trying to fit so much into only 8 episodes -- I hope next season will have at least 10 or even 12 eps to fully flesh out the storylines. There were times where I wondered how easy it was to follow if you didn't know the books, and it seems that it's kinda been mixed? But all-in-all people are loving it, there's lots of memes and new content, and I'm happy about that.

Yennefer's backstory and Anya Chalotra were the highlights for me, and I loved Tissaia as well. By "I haven't done a proper rewatch" I mean that I've only rewatched the first ep (Renfri ❤️) and the parts with Geralt/Yennefer lmao. I'll prob watch it all again later on. Now to the spoilery stuff (includes some refs to the books):

Some specific stuff I liked:

Geralt finally being able to sleep in the Last Wish episode and then him saying in the next ep that before he met Yen, "nights were restless" so she/the thought of her helps him sleep now? lol

Yen touching Geralt's face after he tells her she's important to him as if she can't believe she's important to someone right then and needs to make sure he's real or that she's not dreaming 😭

Téa and Véa and how they actually talked instead of not really communicating well themselves in the books

Yen's elven blood being emphasized and it being a thing that allows her to be naturally inclined towards magic…idek I'm just into that lmao

Geralt "hm"-ing all the time was excellent and is, unfortunately, v relatable

I wasn't gonna say this but since I posted about his casting on my blog previously…I'm still not a fan of Henry but I cannot deny his knowledge and dedication to Geralt and the Witcher lore, and I think he portrayed Geralt very well to the point where I don’t think I imagine anyone else playing the role now? I really mean this bc before I refused to reblog/tweet anything with him in it bc I’m petty LMAO

This is obvious but Toss a Coin to Your Witcher is the song of the year and Her Sweet Kiss is also good. @ netflix soundtrack WHEN

Some stuff I have issues with:

Istredd getting an expanded storyline is fine with me (and will probably set up better angst) but I wish he didn't do the thing Geralt does in Thanedd where he thinks about things Yen likes…I guess that's minor by itself, but Geralt thinking about the house in Thanedd is so important and I hope at least they keep that for the future. Also making the imaginary sorcerers Yennefer conjured up clap like in Thanedd is like…ok I'll allow it but Thanedd better be Extra Good bc I remember reading the part where they're in bed again when I wanted to make myself upset lmao

I wish we got the line when Geralt first called Yennefer "Yen" because "nobody's ever called me that. Say it again" is SO POWERFUL and I think that would have helped set up Geralt/Yen better in the series. Anya did describe the relationship as "animalistic and full of lust" and honestly that's fair but I also want people to understand why tf I'm smiling when we watch them fuck after the last wish instead of being like "ok but where did this come from" lmao. Yeah they’re horny af but pls!!!

Tbh I just want more Angst...like in the Bounds of Reason ep, the "you left" thing and Geralt asking for forgiveness was so short and would have been better if they just…expanded on it a little more…idek this is where I really wished they had an extra episode or two just to elaborate :/

The lack of baby dragon is so sad tbh. I liked that they did without Yen getting her titties exposed and threatened with rape obviously but the baby dragon running over to Yen tho!!

Ciri is my sweet child whom I love dearly and I understand her storyline but I wasn't super into her parts in a way? It makes sense since she's running and hiding and I felt her panic and loneliness and all that, but I think this could have only been fixed if they did Brokilon like in the books. I guess they'd have to cut down on Calanthe maybe?

As for the "Who is Yennefer?" ending:

I know many book readers weren't super satisfied with this, since ofc this is the famous "you're something more" scene, but I think it's fine within the context of the show because of the way Brokilon was handled (obviously I would have liked to see Geralt + Ciri interactions so we could have gotten “something more” though). It also sets up a connection between Yen + Ciri early on -- not really a strong one, but a connection nonetheless. And ofc it makes sense to people who don't know the books, and this is an adaptation after all.

I wish it wasn't as abrupt though? The fact that Ciri's first words to Geralt were about Yennefer is kind of a weird, but I guess that Ciri's vision was so vivid she couldn't help it maybe? And her mentioning Yennefer after Geralt talked about being linked by destiny enforces that it's all three of them linked.

I think this ending line allows for flashbacks via communication? Like if Geralt were to tell Ciri about Yen (and Yen telling Ciri about Geralt), they could elaborate on the relationship between Geralt/Yennefer that way and maybe have a flashback episode or at least a few scenes. I don’t really imagine Geralt saying too much about Yen but still?

So that takes us to things I want in the next season (not exhaustive; I need to do a BoE re-read):

The Dear Friend letter!!

And obviously before that, Triss staying at Kaer Morhen for a while…I wouldn't mind if they completely wrote out any attraction she had to Geralt ofc, but Ciri being sure that Triss is "not Geralt's woman" is also good

Imagine Ciri reading Yennefer's mind and accidentally seeing her thoughts about Geralt…not that she'd even need to though, as long as Yen tells Ciri that Geralt's hands are very gentle is enough lmao. But I'd love the "what is there between you and Geralt" line! In general, I really want Yen/Geralt to be like, the most obvious thing to the audience lol.

Yen telling Ciri that she's lucky bc Ciri knows that Geralt will come back for her and Yen isn't sure that Geralt would do the same for her 😭

Since they're doing the story with Nivellen, I'm hoping for other short stories to be adapted too. My favourite is A Shard of Ice, and I read that it's Henry's favourite too so I'm optimistic about it being included somehow. And since Istredd has a bigger role, it could work? ALSO WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THE UNICORN. PLEASE

Flashbacks to Belleteyn (is having another orgy scene ok. pls say yes) and the Geralt seeing that the 14th name on the hill wasn't Yennefer. He wanted to die again ahhhhhhh

Yarpen asking Geralt "is [Ciri] yours?"

More Jaskier songs about Geralt/Yen…even just one pls

And more angst bc like. There's so much come on lmao hurt the audience

A lot of Yennefer + Ciri. Just a Lot of it.

#untaintedtext #sorry this is long bc i can't keep things short lmao #the witcher #the witcher spoilers #tagging bc i'm lonely bc i creep instead of interacting LMAO #it's long tho i don't expect ppl to read it haha #but it's still time for Sam's Opinion #anyway @ all my friends and followers hi have you see the witcher yet

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bhartwellmiller-photos · 5 years ago

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Week 2

What have been some of your challenges, your success and failures related to using your camera?

Challenges/failures: I have been finding it difficult to balance the exposure and manage all of the controls while shooting. I have never really used a professional camera before and many of my photographs have been coming out over or under exposed. I find it difficult to balance the exposure for each individual shot while looking through the view finder. I have been bringing the exposure cheat sheet around with me to shoot and that helps a bit.

Successes: I have been enjoying shooting and finding different angles and scenes to shoot. I think I have been finding good examples of the three different compositional guidelines and have begun to see the different compositions throughout my daily routine.

What artists are you looking at?

This week I have been looking at work from Joshua Cripps. I started looking at his photography because I was originally interested in his story of how he came into photography. He graduated from USC with a degree in aerospace engineering. He eventually decided to travel the world and for about a year and a half and travelled solo to 20+ different countries. He then was unable to explain to enormity of the experience he had endured while abroad and the immense personal impact of those experiences. He began to learn photography to use it as a means of storytelling and to depict his experiences so his friends and family could better understand them. He eventually left his job at Boeing to pursue a full-time career as a photographer.

Website: https://www.joshuacripps.com/woods-waterfall-photos/ Instagram: @joshuacrippsphotography

How do these relate to the artwork you are making?

Cripps focuses on outdoor and nature photography. I specifically looked at the section of photos called “Forests, Flowers, Plants, and Falls” because last week and this week I have been shooting a lot outside by the river trail in Manayunk. I really enjoyed the angles, clarity/crispness, and color of his images.

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years ago

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Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 2

Part 1

(Erik Killmonger x Black!OC)

Word Count: 4.3k

T’Challa has been in town for a few weeks now, no date determined for when he would return to Wakanda, so his time spent in the States mostly meant working at the outreach center, being a liason for international affairs from time to time, and also dating begrudgingly. It is Erik’s doing to try and get T’Challa out there on the prowl again since Nakia seemed not at all pressed to stand by for him.

Even though the outreach center in Oakland is an assignment T’Challa bestowed upon her to satiate her need to help others on Wakanda’s behalf, she found a way to not have to stay in one place, as she habitually tended to do. Instead of doing the grunt work, Nakia would take trips to try and spread the word of their goals to other communities to grow their cause exponentially.

Erik was tired of seeing T’Challa mope and wear himself out physically and emotionally, so one night he got him out of the house. Pulling up to T’Challa’s place, Erik honks to let him know he has arrived.

After a few minutes, T’Challa steps out in a brown tunic, pants and sandals trotting to Erik’s car.

“Aye, whoa, hey! The hell you got on man?” Erik leans over talking out of the passenger window.

T’Challa tries the door but it’s locked. “N’Jadaka, I am in my clothes. These cost more than your mortgage payments.” He tries the door again. “Unlock the door!”

Erik shakes his head. “Nah, bump that. You ain’t sittin yo tacky ass in my ride til you change, bruh. I thought you asked for Shuri’s fashion advice before leaving the house man.”

T’Challa bends down, sticking his hand in to search for the unlock button. “You are being ridiculous…”

Erik pushes on the window button on his side watching the window roll up as T’Challa quickly brings his arm out on the safe side.

“N’Jadaka!” T’Challa shouts pounding on the window.

“Aye! Your genetically enhanced ass better not bust my window cuz I know you good for a replacement. Change. Your. Clothes. If you tryna get any play tonight, you better go on back.”

T’Challa spins on his heels back towards his place as Erik pulls out his phone. Work is still hounding him about a presentation he is to give on a new model for the blackbox recording device in Boeing aircrafts. It’s in a couple of days and he still has a lot to finish before going in front of all of those white folk to back it. A text from Kimara pops up on his phone.

Hey, how long are you going to be out for?

Erik checks the time and texts back. I dont know. Shit dont start poppin off tile 12:30 sooo…

Erik, you have your appointment in the morning, remember?

Erik had not remember, thank God for Kimara’s nagging. Oh babe, of course. I won’t be out past 2, 3 at the latest.

I swear if I have to roll your ass out of the bed, so help me.

Chill out! I’m grown, I can wake myself up just fine. My six figures speak for themself.

Erik puts the phone down gripping the steering wheel with slight aggravation. Kimara has been getting extra cranky lately, which was usually a sign of the time of the month, but now it’s just the stress of trying to conceive. Erik looks back at his phone, seeing that the message was read, but no reply. Shit, he thought. That’s not good. No good night, see you later then, ok love you? She’s pissed but Erik will make it up to her in the morning. He could make it up to her when he gets home, but he gotta save that for the doctor’s appointment.

Erik honks his horn again over and over, keeping it pressed for five second intervals.

T’Challa swings his front door open waving at Erik to cease his incessant honking, locking the door behind himself. Erik looks over the ensemble of choice: black slacks with a white shirt tucked in, olive green military style jacket, some all white Adidas on his feet.

Erik sits up as he unlocks the door for T’Challa to get in. “Are you done wasting my time?”

T’Challa looks at Erik. “What do you mean? You demanded I change.”

“And I oughta make you change again with them whack Adidas on, but I’ll let it go for time. I can’t be out all night.” Erik says pulling out onto the street.

“Why would we go out if you have obligations in the morning. You didn’t mention that.”

“Well, I kinda forgot about it cuz. Kimara just reminded me while you were changing.”

“Oh, and how are things between the two of you now?” T’Challa asks.

Erik sighs, turning a corner. “We good, definitely. Just hittin a rough patch right now. You know we tryna have a baby and shit.”

“Uh-huh.” T’Challa says, scrolling through his phone.

“So like, we been tryin for a while and that ain’t been easy on her. She stay thinkin she broken and shit but the pussy ain’t broke, trust.”

T’Challa looks up from his screen. “You know that...it’s more than that to making a baby, right?”

Erik kisses his teeth. “Nigga, I know, damn. I’m just sayin, she ain’t had no issues. She already had herself checked out, the tubes and utilities is all in workin order.”

“Her uterus?” T’Challa asks in confusion.

Erik stops hard at a stop sign. “Can I tell my story the way I wanna tell it?”

T’Challa shakes his head going back to his phone again.

“Like I was saying, she good! That ain’t no issue, so she been doing her own research, eating different foods and trying other shit in the bedroom and scheduling shit out to when she most fertile but ain’t a damn thing happened. She bought pregnancy tests in bulk and shit, like this is all she be thinkin about now. We can’t just fuck no more, it’s fuckin with a purpose, which ain’t as fun. So now I gotta go get tested to make sure my hotel is fully booked for vacation, you know what I’m sayin?”

T’Challa turns off his screen letting out a sigh. “Well that is a lot of information for you to have given me just now. Great start to the evening.”

Erik kisses his teeth. “Wooow, ok, I thought family could confide in family, but cool. I hear you.”

“Erik, that is not the problem, it is your details. You leave in far too many.” T’Challa says, voice raising in frustration. “I don’t want this imagery in my head and just out of respect for Kimara, can you minimize the specifics?”

Erik drives in silence for a minute mulling it over. “Fine, aight. But that do remind me, I was wondering if you have any Wakandan aphrodisiac type stuff to try and get things kickin off more proper. I don’t know what the doctor gonna say tomorrow, but I figure I can get ahead now.”

“N’Jadaka, have you...noticed any trouble in that area before?” T’Challa asks unwillingly.

“Hell no! I get up, I get down, and ain’t had no complaints, 100% on Yelp baby!” Erik says cackling and slapping T’Challa’s leg.

“Alright, enough! To answer your question, sure, there are some remedies that can aid you in that endeavor. I can’t say how good they are, but they are made from natural ingredients so they won’t harm you, that’s for sure.”

“Bet! I’ll call you when I’m ready to try the shit. Now you bein a good cousin!” Erik cheeses excitedly.

Finally making it to the club, Erik and T’Challa get in without a worry of a line or a cover charge. T’Challa is the head of the world’s richest country after all.

Heading inside, Cardi B is blasting as the ladies shake their asses to the beat. Erik can’t help but notice all the big round ass pointing to the sky like shrimp on a platter, and he wanted to chow DOWN. So maybe he looked every now and then, hell it was practically in his face.

“Damn, it’s hot in here tonight, you see this?” Erik asks, looking over at T’Challa with his head in his phone. “Nigga, what the hell you been lookin at this entire time?”

T’Challa puts his phone in his pocket. “Nothing. Oh wow, honeys everywhere, so sweet. Yum.” His tone is monotone as he makes his way to the bar area with Erik following in confusion.

Erik orders some Ciroc neat so his likelihood of a hangover is diminished. T’Challa asks for a beer.

“Uh uh, bartender scratch that. Get him some Crown Royal Black to start off with, neat.” Erik intervenes.

“That’s not what I wanted Erik. I have things to do tomorrow as well.” T’Challa hissed.

Erik sips on his drink. “Yeah, and I assume they entail meeting with Nakia, right?”

T’Challa sighs as his drink comes up, twisting the glass in his hand. “It’s not like I’m groveling for her attention, it’s work related.”

“And that’s the damn problem. You ain’t gettin a break from her to get your shit back on track. Okoye told me you be freezin, but nigga you in a Captain America ice brick.”

T’Challa looks at Erik scornfully. “I am so tired of you all joking about that around me. I know how to talk to a woman I admire like a normal human being.”

Erik flashes his golds with a sly smile looking across the dancefloor. “Ok, what about….her, in the yellow. You like that?”

T’Challa follows Erik’s direction to see a woman with a close cut dancing. “She reminds me of the Dora too much. No offense to them but they are like family.”

Erik nods. “Ok, I got you. Sooo...her, in the glittery number.”

This woman had locs going past her shoulders with jewelry adorning them. Her dark colored dress was skintight with glitter scatter across the neck traveling to the sides of her dress in strappy stilettos.

T’Challa nods. “Maybe. I can get to know her.”

“Now, hang on. You wanna know her for longer than tonight? That’s a whole other system I have to use to map out that possibility.”

“Oh how do you know? She could be very respectable.”

Erik claps his shoulder. “Now, not to be extra, but she can be respectable and sleep with you on the first date dawg. A woman’s worth ain’t based on that alone.”

T’Challa whacks his hand off. “I told you that! Don’t use my words against me, you know what I am saying!”

“Then go over there and get to talkin! I ain’t got all night man!” Erik says, sipping his drink as T’Challa goes over to her. Erik observes as they talk: she looks at him up and down, T’Challa offers a handshake which would’ve been a strike until he kissed her hand. Smooth, muthafucka! Erik thought.

As Erik polishes off his Ciroc, he orders one more for the road. While waiting, a woman catches his eye across the way. She looks like something straight out of a music video; titties sittin up and out, waist snatched with some wide hips that had to lead to a juicy behind if she turned around just a little bit. She runs her hand down her 3C wig as she bites her oxblood colored lips in the strobe lights.

Erik has to adjust himself for space in his pants, downing his drink in one gulp. He looks over at T’Challa, who has the girls arms wrapped around his neck, so things were progressing well. Erik looks back to the woman who blows a kiss at him in the most sexiest way he has ever seen. He curses himself as he retreats, heading to the bathroom.

There wasn’t a line thankfully as he goes to a urinal leaning against the wall. He tries to clear his mind of the sight of that woman; Grandma’s, dirty draws, IRS levies, anything to make his half mast dick go down. It had been too long since he busted; doctor’s orders to make sure they get an accurate sample, but he didn’t expect to be this weak. Erik has been away from his girl too long for the night, clearly, so once he was able to pee, he made a plan to get the hell out of there.

Coming out of the bathroom he practically runs someone over.

“Oh, there you are.”

Erik looks to see the baddie from across the way. Her body is almost flush with his since she didn’t take a step back from his almost collision.

“Are you followin me?” Erik asks suspiciously.

She flashes a 1000 watt smile, dimples and all. “No! The girl’s is just always too long to wait….”

They stand in front of each other for entirely too long given the context of the conversation.

“I’m Chanel, by the way.” She holds her hand out, pastel colored nails sharpened to points with jewels dorning the ring fingernail.

“I’m Erik.” Erik takes it, growing again subconsciously from the softness and beauty of her hand, imagining it wrapped around his…

“Well, go ahead, that’s free to use. I’ll be outta your hair.” Erik says practically tripping past her to pull himself from her magnetic charm. The evening is wearing him down fast as he tries to find T’Challa.

He finally spots him in between two women jostling for his attention as he smiles all shiny and clearly tipsy.

Erik grabs him by the shoulders. “Aight, let’s go ‘fore I turn into a pumpkin bruh.”

T’Challa laughs, eyes barely open as he hugs the women to him, putting them on display. “Iman, Chi, this is my cousin I was talking to you about. He wants to be a Daddy!”

This sets off laughter between the three as Erik grows impatient. “Challa, bring yourself on or you’ll have to be beggin for 50 cent a day to take your ass home.”

Iman, the woman Erik pointed out for T’Challa, quiets down from laughing first. “I’m sorry, Erin is it? T’Challa has been the life of the party here and we were planning to make a little after party for two later, right?”

She rubs his chest, kissing his neck which makes T’Challa laugh harder. “I’m ticklish…”

Chi, a high yellow woman who looks like she used to be a flyer on the cheerleading squad wraps her arm through Erik’s. “And I’m lookin for someone to call Daddy.”

Erik firmly peels her grip off, avoiding her batting fake eyelashes. “Girl if you don’t get the fu- T’Challa! Collect your shit, I’m leavin with or without you man.”

Erik walks through and out the club heading to his car. T’Challa stumbles not too far behind.

“Heeeeyy, Erik! I’m supposed to be having fun with women tonight, why are you breaking my balls, man?” T’Challa says, slurring his words as he whispers something to Iman, making her cackle. T’Challa must’ve ordered a bottle or two to be acting this lit.

Erik mugs T’Challa as he unlocks his doors. “Look like you got one, quit while you ahead. Am I droppin y’all both at the same place?”

“To mine!!” T’Challa bellows as he clumsily opens the door for his date.

Erik drives off with T’Challa and Iman in the backseat being playful. Erik checks his phone as he drives, seeing no sign of Kimara ever texting back. It’s going on 2 am. Erik goes to ask T’Challa a question when he looks in his rearview to see him on top of his date, hands completely up her skirt as she claws to take his shirt off.

“Aye, aye! Y’all ain’t fuckin in my car! Get up off her, T!” Erik hits T’Challa as he drives.

“Eh eh! Stop it, you are doing a lot right now, N’Jadaka. Calm yourself.” T’Challa whines as he lays on Iman’s bosom as she muffles her laughter.

Finally making it to T’Challa’s spot, Erik issues a warning. “Be easy on her T’Challa. That purple running through your ass could split her in half if you don’t pace yourself.”

T’Challa leans over the front seat putting a finger to his lips. “Shuuuush, that is my secret no one can know. Except Nakia, she knew how to….OH! Don’t forget to call me about helping you impregnate your wife.”

“Congrats on fatherhood!” Iman waves at Erik as she helps T’Challa out the car.

Erik waves weakly back watching them go inside, handsy and excited to finish what they started. Erik sighs as he pulls off to his crib, reminiscing on his days or being that wild and free with his sexuality. Kimara is his one and only now, and he loves every minute of it, but the baddie at the club was sticking to his mind a little too deeply.

When Erik makes it home, he steps into the bedroom to see Kimara lying asleep, facing away from him. Erik gets undressed and takes a quick shower to freshen up before sliding across the sheets to hug his wife into him.

“Mmm, stop, I’m sleeping.” Kimara moans, batting his arms away.

“I missed you, girl, that’s all.” Erik says quietly, kissing her shoulder, hands traveling down her side roughly.

Kimara snaps her head back. “Erik, I’m serious, get on somewhere. You missed your opportunity goin out with T’Challa, now you need to rest up any damn way.” Kimara punches her pillow a couple times before flopping down on it.

Erik kisses his teeth sitting up. “So you don’t wanna ask me about my night? How T’Challa is? Anything about what we did tonight?’

“Erik, I don’t give a fuck about nothin but taking my ass to sleep, so if you would stop talkin I can do that.”

“Shit, I wish you was like this when I get off work…” Erik says under his breath.

“There’s a lotta things I wish you would do for me Erik, but Imma save your manhood til the doctor got time to see you. Good fuckin night!”

Erik lays there staring at the ceiling, words completely lost on him to express himself. Kimara’s attitude in all its glory, and he just had to take it. Erik is feeling less and less like a man in his own home. Kimara wants so much outta him, he plays it cool but it was starting to affect him. When that girl looked at him like that in the club, it was a gaze he hadn’t gotten in at least a month from Kimara.

The next morning, Erik rolls around to an empty bed. Kimara got an early start to her day, leaving Erik to be responsible for getting to his appointment on time. He arrived 30 minutes late.

“Erik Stevens!” The nurse calls out to him in the waiting room to cue his turn to be seen.

The middle age white woman goes over the usual height, weight, blood pressure and asks about his medical history. Erik is not a fan of doctors, so this took a lot for him to show up to. But if it was important to Kimara, he’d go through with it.

He was left alone to stare at the white walls with diagrams of scrotums and reproductive facts until the nurse came back with a cup and a clipboard.

“Ok, Mr. Stevens, you will take this into room 3B. Be very sure you go into 3B, you aren’t our only patient today and we don’t want to make any awkward introductions with the others, ok?” She says eyes crinkling as she hands him the cup.

Erik looks at the cup curiously. “You sure this ain’t for horses or somethin? I’m supposed to fill this?”

The nurse looks at him with amused pity, patting his shoulder. “No dear, you contribute as much as God intends. The size just makes for an easier catch.”

Erik mutters a thank you and makes his way over to his ‘donation station’, keeping his eye on 3B. He still knocks before entering just in case and walks in, closing the door behind him. The room was simple, an exam bed next to a tub of lube, with an old school TV on a table with a DVD player and some magazines.

Erik hasn’t been into porn since high school, he frankly hasn’t needed it since. But he was curious what old stuff they kept to get dudes off, so he starts with the DVD titles. ‘Katie’s Goes to an HBBCU’, ‘Black and Barely Legals’, ‘The Mandingo Report’, ‘Santa’s Big Booty Ho Ho Hos’....

“The fuck?” Erik says in disgust. He wonders if every room has this selection or if the B in 3B is for ‘Black’ donors.

The magazines were just as worse with old Playboys featuring blonde bimbos in between sticky pages. Erik tossed them and went over to the sink to rinse his hands off. Nothing in that room was gonna get this done fast so he sat on the edge of the bed and got his phone out. He has one unread message from Kimara.

Sorry I left so soon. I had to go to the studio early today to get ahead on some stuff. Hope you’re doing good!

Erik breathed a sigh of relief as it seems she was past last night for now.

I’m good, you know how I am about doctors.

She replies back. Yeah, you think they all microchipping people when they tell you to say ahhh lol

Erik smiles to himself, thankful to have her words running across his screen. Another message pops up.

Are you done then? Cuz I was hoping I could meet you for lunch or somethin to talk and stuff.

Erik bites his lip holding the phone in his hands, getting some devilish thoughts in his brain.

Nah, not yet. They got pornos here but I ain’t feelin them.

He sends the message and waits a little bit hoping she gets what he’s trying to say. He saved their best work on his computer at home but he hadn’t backed them up for him to access on his phone yet.

A few minutes pass and he’s getting anxious picking up the phone again to text an outright request before his phone dings. The icon of a video message appears and Erik’s dick is already getting hard. Pressing play he sees her come up on screen smiling with the sun on her face beaming in a halter bikini. This is a video from their vacation last year to the Bahamas. They stayed at an Airbnb that was way over budget but worth it. Kimara giggles talking in a vlog style on the balcony before Erik slips up behind her, hugging her waist and kissing her behind her ear.

“You vloggin baby? Look at us, we fuckin cute as shit.” Erik said, speech slurred.

Kimara giggles so hard her eyes close. “You messin up my shot Erik, dang! I’m tryna document our trip for later.”

Erik lays on Kimara as she leans over the rail of the patio, gripping her breast greedily. “You documentin everythin?”

“Mhm.” Kimara nods as she looks at Erik from the camera’s front facing view.

As the scene progresses Erik takes his pants down and pumps the lube from the side table to start working on himself. Leaning back on the bed he gets comfortable as he watches his hands travel Kimara’s body, stripping her slowly and her reacting blissfully. Her moans and foul language keep him focused on his stroke as Erik in the video commandeers the camera to show him entering her from behind. Erik breathes in sharply as he recalls her tightness around him as he jacks himself faster. The camera pans to Kimara arching, her braids splayed across her back as she works herself back on him, gripping the rail for dear life. Her moans become louder and more breathless as she approaches her tipping point, Erik in the doctors office and Erik in the video curse in unison over their shared pleasure. When the camera shows his dick covered in her creamy secretions he barely had time to grab the cup and collect his sample. He groaned as he choked his dick to get every spurt he could into it.

“Alright, y’all better show out in them tests.” He tells his little soldiers as he caps the cup.

As Erik came down from his high, he calls Kimara with his clean hand.

“Hey, baby. How are you?” Kimara asks. He can hear her smiling as she talks.

“Now you know what the fuck you just did.” Erik says laughing.

“And I know what you just did! That’s a favorite, I loved that trip.”

“Shit, you tellin me. I fuckin miss that island, it just brought out a different energy in us.”

There’s a pause on Kimara’s end. “It did huh? Maybe we can plan to go there again soon? It would be a nice time of the year, I got vacation time to take.”

Erik stuffs his dick back in his pants, sitting up. “I like that idea. I got one demand though if we go.”

“Anything.” Kimara says seductively.

“No talk of tryna get pregnant, kids, babies, fertility windows, none of that. I still feel like our biggest problem is stressing out about it. We just need to go on and when it happens, it happens. The doc said it could take over a year, so I mean I just don’t wanna see you going out of your mind about this. You need to relax some and just be you again.”

Kimara sighs. “You can’t plan a trip and think all of our problems are just gonna go like that. Sweeping things under the rug will just-”

“Problems? As in plural? Whatchu talkin bout, Mara?”

“Nothing, I don’t wanna do this over the phone, I gotta go.”

Erik looks at the call ending on his phone loses any relaxation he just gained a few minutes ago.

Masterlist

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