#like I talk to 1/2 of them about this stuff sometimes
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tmbrstylnsn ¡ 3 days ago
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hii! i'm louis, i'm gonna answer all these about my system, the reveromantic system :3
1. which headmates are the iconic couple?
my instinct is to say me and harry, but i know that award goes to tommy and wilbur. theyve been here the longest and founded our system, plus theyre married so bonus points.
2. which headmates are the unlikely couple?
see, this has to go to tommy and wilbur again. me and harry, and liam and zayn, are both popular ships in our source. toms and wil arent, so they win this one again.
3. which headmates were enemies at first but are now best friends/a couple?
i dont think any of us were really enemies, since we formed as pairs. but i do have source memories of liam finding me super annoying before we became best mates, so theres that!
4. which headmate is the most different from the body?
ooh... personality wise, its gotta be harry or maybe liam? i think the others (including me) share traits with our separate DID system, so theres some similarity there. ill say harry, hes really unique <3
visually, ive gotta say tommy for being blonde. thats one hair colour our body has never had and probably never will have.
5. which headmates are city folk?
all of us ahaha, i dont think any of us like the country. maybe tommy would disagree, im not sure. he was real active back when we did live in the semi-country, so maybe hes got attachments to it?
6. which headmates are country folk?
not really any of us, but like i said maybe tommy?
7. which headmates have the most unique music taste?
ooh, i dont know if any of us do. i really like one direction, obviously, and me own music. i love harry and zayn's stuff too, but again our whole body loves that music so its not really unique?
i think we all just like our source music a lot, like tommy and wilbur are both lovejoy obsessed, and me, harry, zayn, and liam are 1D obsessed.
8. which headmates have the most specific role?
none of us have roles! our other sysmates in our DID system do, but we dont because we're nontraumagenic and just exist for fun :3
9. are there any headmates from a different state/city/place than the body?
well, all of us except tommy are british, and from various parts of england. im from doncaster, harry's from holmes chapel, zayn's from bradford, liam's from wolverhampton, wilbur's from london, and tommy is american but i think he was still born in nottingham? could be wrong :P
10. which headmates are emo/punk/goth?
ooh thats a good question. i think zayn probably leans the most like, punk or emo or whatever it is. none of us really do, i think we all just dress like normal lads. i do like me a good black cutoff shirt and skinny jeans, though!
11. what are some pet peeves headmates have about each other?
hm... i dunno if we have any at the moment. other than source memories, like me and liam getting on each other's nerves! but we all get on pretty well, generally.
12. what headmate was the biggest surprise?
definitely liam and zayn. i wasnt expecting them to form, after me and harry i thought it would just be us two, toms, and wilbur. i had no idea our mates would be forming too, but im glad they did! love these lads.
13. what headmate has a skill the body doesnt?
we tend to share skills, but i guess the british accents count? our body can do a british accent whenever, but its usually stronger and feels more natural/comfortable when one of us (bar tommy) is fronting and speaking in our specific accent.
14. which headmate makes the most typos?
gonna take a guess and say either harry or tommy, harry because hes a bit silly and loose with life, and tommy because hes probably talking too fast to fix it.
15. what headmate has the weirdest way of talking/typing?
hm... zayn for talking, me for typing. i say a lot of shit like "me" instead of my sometimes, "babes" a whole lot, stuff like that. it doesnt sound too weird verbally, but over text its quite obvious its me.
zayn for talking because hes got that rougher british accent that sounds distinctly different to the rest of us. cant quite describe it, but if youve heard source zayn talk yknow what i mean.
these were fun to answer!
- louis
SYSTEM ASK GAME!! FOR SYSTEMS OF ANY ORIGINS!! SYSMEDS DNI!!
Which headmates are the iconic couple
Which headmates are the unlikely couple
Which headmates were enemies at first and now best friends and/or a couple
Which headmate is the most different from the body?
Which headmates are city folk
Which headmates are country folk
Which headmates have the most unique music taste?
Which headmate has the most specific role?
Are there any headmates from a specific state/country/etc different from the body?
Which headmates are emo/punk/goth etc?
What are some pet peeves headmates have about other headmates?
What headmate was the biggest surpise?
What headmate has a skill that the body doesn't usually, but when they front the body gets it (or almost gets it)?
What headmate makes the most typos?
What headmate has the weirdest (/pos) way of talking/typing?
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notcaycepollard ¡ 16 hours ago
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hey, I hope this is okay to ask since you’re now talking about stackie on here again.
do you have thoughts on what happened between them, like genuinely. do you think they were just friends with benefits, fell in love along the way and til this day these feelings are still there, or more? sometimes seb says these painfully sincere things about him that make it sound like he’s in love with him and sometimes he’s all snarky and says he hates him. without even too much tinhatting what do you think about them?
okay so I’m gonna lay out a range of Scenarios in decreasing likelihood/increasing tinhatting, on the agreement that we are all just foolin around thinking out some thoughts none of this is real and I do have a hold on my normal brain
1) the intense situational friendship
we’ve all been there. A workplace that puts you in constant intense contact with each other and destroys your ability to maintain normal external life while you’re in the middle of it (filming, press tour) and before you know it you’re trauma bonding over cigarettes in the back of the parking lot and swearing you’ll be bffs forever and nobody knows you like they know you
and then you quit or the film wraps or the junket is over and you make all this big noise about staying friends and catching up but inevitably your new reality begins to get in the way, plus after a year or two you can’t sustain catch ups that revolve around work gossip when you’re not in the middle of that shit anymore, and it’s not that either of you are deliberately fading out it’s just that friendships like that naturally ebb over time but u still got a soft spot for your guy your pal your best marvel bro
2) the intense situational friendship but you act a little gay about it
maybe you’re gay, maybe you’re not, some straight dudes are pretty fun about idle gay flirting for the bit, and platonic chemistry looks like flirtation from the outside anyway so you let everyone give you the side eye and keep sharing cigarettes in a way that’s a little bit too close for anyone to NOT wonder
3) the intense situational work-crush, one-sided
it’s the above but one of you is super gay about it for real not for the bit
and maybe you know or maybe you don’t, maybe the other guy knows or maybe HE don’t, as above some straight dudes will just flirt for the bit but anyway it’s more likely he doesn’t know it’s real for you or at least he’s gonna keep the facade up
so you say some weird stuff to and about each other and play it up for the interviews and it could pass for platonic chemistry but you gotta keep the yearning on lock or you wind up accidentally looking at your work friend like he’s the sun moon and stars and then you’re lying in bed that night like FUCK did I make it TOO weird
(if it was gonna be weird he wouldn’t be constantly telling you your hair is so great and touching it in a way that makes you shiver and want something you’re not ever gonna give shape to even inside your own head)
(like running his fingers through and taking hold at the nape of your neck and threatening idly to pull it for real not for jokes, and you do wonder just once before you can catch yourself, what would it be like if he followed up with a kiss or, like, setting his teeth in the side of your throat and biting down just a little)
usually it’s recoverable if you don’t admit to or talk about your feelings, it’ll pass when you’re not spending 16 hours a day in each other’s company but he’ll hug you years later at the golden globes and he’ll still smell so good and you WILL feel Something that sort of hurts but in a mostly good way
maybe years later you’ll have worked through it and gotten a secure-attachment real life boyfriend and you’ll idly refer to that big crush you had and it won’t feel like you’re choking on acid it’ll just be Haha Wow Remember That One Time When
4) the casual work friends-with-bennies
you’re both cool! you both like to kiss on the mouth and also suck a dick occasionally! you’re never gonna come out about it because it’s hollywood but it makes a film shoot a lot more fun when you can blow off some steam in your trailer
you can drop it at the end of filming and pick it back up when you get signed for a Disney plus show together and it’s fine, it’s chill, it’s a truly optimal outcome
5) the casual work friends-with-bennies but one of you caught feelings
oh bud. we’re in mess territory and you’re gonna get burned by it but you already know that and the best you can hope for is that once you’re not fucking the feelings will fade
in all honesty it’ll still burn you less than scenario 3 because an intense friendship like that takes you so much deeper into casual intimacy but on the other hand you DO know what his dick feels like halfway down your throat and let’s be real, the smart thing to do would be call it off but the sex is too good so you’re just waiting it out for the crash
and the crash is bad, obviously, you finish the press tour and go home and if you push down you can still feel the last bruise-bite but you’re back to texting once a month and hearing about each other through social media instead of in person
you’ll do it again though because you are a sucker for punishment and it’ll be just as good slash just as bad
6) the intense situational work friendship turned friends-with-bennies
[ralph wiggum voice] haha you’re in danger
and I want to tell you that you’re BOTH in danger but let’s be real, one of you is way more likely to get real feelings about it and once that happens it’s all over for you because while he’s going, yeah this is cool I like to suck a dick occasionally and I also like my good buddy so what a good combination, you’re drawing love hearts in the margins of your script and thinking about a romantic holiday to Romania
you will end filming and he will go “good game man let’s catch up next time we’re in the same city” and you will feel something catch in your heart
all I can say is that at least you entered into the fucking part of this on the basis of true friendship and the feelings didn’t arrive until after you were already fucking. it’s still not great. It’s bad. But at least there’s that.
7) intense situational work-crush (one-sided) turned friends-with-bennies
we are in the game over zone. you are not in danger you are surrounded on all sides by forest fire and there’s no way out. you have signed up for a prolonged broken heart and [radiohead voice] you did it to yourself
either you pretend forever that you did not have a crush before you started fucking and you don’t have a crush now, and you silently suffer through losing the brief joy of getting to kiss when filming ends (bad) or you admit to your feelings and your friend tells you with grace and sympathy that he does not feel the same way (worse) or you hide your feelings so poorly that you act like a total asshole and when you do eventually admit to it the entire edifice of friendship is torn down by the force of your repressed emotion (worst).
appendix: what if they both had feelings?
no I’m sorry I simply don’t think this is realistic I think AT MOST it was a love affair where one person liked the other quite a lot but the other was in it Too Deep and that was unsustainable long-term.
anyway, my only other contribution is that apparently sebstan’s current girlfriend previously dated chris pine. for four years. isn’t that interesting? chris pine, now that’s a man with some perplexingly undefinable energy. some would say, that man is a lesbian. just interesting to me that an aspiring model slash actress would date an extremely lesbian man for four years and then two months after breaking up would get together with ol sebastian, a man who was apparently spotted celebrating his 40th with said girlfriend and a passel of other pals including his long-time buddy chace crawford.
which could mean nothing, obviously. but it’s interesting. that’s all.
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cosmerelists ¡ 5 hours ago
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Nomad Rates Cosmere Planets
As requested by @endervexer :)
Nomad is always on the move--but if he had time to stop and rate Cosmere planets as if they were hotels (you know, rating how clean they are, what the accommodations are like, etc), what would those ratings look like?
1. Canticle (The Sunlit Man)
Place was pretty clean, as the ever-present burning of the sun constantly purified the land.
Food was mediocre. Needed spice.
Accommodations were pretty old and worn down, but clean.
People were polite but not overly friendly, which I count as a positive. Some of them tried to kill me, which I count as a negative.
Entertainment consisted of gladiatorial fights and/or public executions. You can also hear stories. The stories are about ghosts.
BTW, place is haunted.
Overall, 2/5.
2. First of the Sun (Sixth of the Dusk)
Note: I only had time to visit part of this planet. Specifically, the island jungle part.
I would not call it "clean." It is a jungle. It is full of death.
If you like your food fresh-caught and cooked over a fire, you will like the food here. I did not try much of the food, because I was mostly fleeing death.
Accommodations were sparse, unpleasant, and--you guessed it!--not very safe from death.
The people tended to be distrustful and prickly. I did not hold this against them. I was only there briefly, and I was prickly too.
Entertainment was mostly hunting and camping. Although I would not class it as "entertainment" as much as "necessary survival."
NOT an island vacation. 1/5 stars (one star because the chickens there were pretty)
3. Lumar (Tress of the Emerald Sea)
For a place in which water brings death, it was actually pretty clean. Not sparking, but clean enough.
I did not like the food much. Bland. Their sea chickens do not taste as good as land chickens, IMO.
Since most of planet seems to be oceans (NOT water-based), you will find yourself staying on ships if you stay on this planet. What do you want me to say? It's a ship. Even if you have a private cabin, it will be small. It was fine.
People were on the whole friendly but seemed unused to visitors. I don't think this spot is very popular.
Interesting place to sightsee. The oceans are all different colors. The lunagrees (moon aether waterfalls) are worth seeing.
Overall, 3/5
4. Nalthis (Warbreaker)
Planet was generally well kept up--dirty in the way that populated cities or vast snowy landscapes full of woods can be dirty, but nothing major.
Great if you like seafood. Worth seeking out ethnic neighborhoods within the big cities for better food.
Some parts of the planet have better accommodations than others. If you want to stay in a cabin and feel cold and depressed all the time, try Idris. If you want to be a warmer place and like seafood and way too much color, try Hallandren.
If you want culture & stuff to do, try Hallandren. We're talking sports, art, music, creepy statues, pretty much anything you can think of. I cannot emphasize enough that it too colorful though.
This place will take your breath away (just a little Nalthian humor).
4/5 I had to soak my eyes after.
5. Scadrial (Mistborn)
Saw lots of reviewers saying that planet is the dirtiest place they've ever been, what with the constant rain of deadly ash.
Not my experience. Place was admittedly dusty in a "we love our cowboy aesthetic" kind of way, but they've clearly cleaned up since some of those earlier reviews.
Food was okay, but this seems to be more a place you go to drink. If you like whiskey, you will like Scadrial. Yeah I saw the review saying people drink perfume. Can't verify. Didn't see that.
Lots of places to stay, many of which are pleasant enough. If you happen to be speeding through the planet in fear of your life and the life of everyone you've ever cared about, then you'll be happy to hear that your options are many: horses, cars, trains, magic.
(I will ding them for their idiotic train system. Sometimes people don't WANT to go through the center on every trip.)
Entertainment options I saw: ride trains, see giraffes, drink, visit fast-food places, drink, visit the Field of Rebirth, shoot guns, drink.
4/5 I'm just not that into cowboys
6. Sel (Elantris)
Cleanliness varied from "sparkling silver city of the gods" to "battlefield awash in the blood of innocents." Definitely not the dirtiest place I've ever stayed.
Food was a highlight. You can get good spice here. Sweet things are also available for women/ardents.
On the whole, accommodations are solid. Good infrastructure, no weather actively trying to kill you, some places on planet not currently at war.
People can be aggressively religious, but if you avoid people in red armor, it's fine.
For entertainment, I can recommend sightseeing--go see the city of Elantris. It's worth it. Note: reviews complaining about zombies and sludge are old. Always check the date on reviews.
Overall 4/5
7. Taldain (White Sand)
The place has too much sand to be clean. I'm sorry but it has to be said.
The place has too much sand to have good food. I feel like it was always slightly...crunchy.
The accommodations are fine if you like sand.
The people always seem to be subtly wanting to prove that they're better than you. Sometimes it is not subtle. I guess this is what happens when Autonomy is in charge.
If you want entertainment, try the Darkside.
Overall, 2/5 just not my favorite place.
8. Threnody (Shadows for Silence)
Place is quite clean.
Food is bland again. You cannot trust Threnodites to have good food.
Oh, also the place is full of ghosts who will murder you.
0/5
9. Komashi (Yumi and the Nightmare Painter)
Can verify that place is no longer infested by deadly nightmares seeking your death. Travelers no longer need to seek out the few pockets of warmth and light in the sea of encroaching darkness. It's a pretty normal planet now.
Food is pretty good. Ramen place in Kilahito (Noodle Princess) is a highlight.
Good accommodations, tech-wise. Heating, lighting, hion-viewers. If you need that stuff to feel comfortable, not a bad place to visit.
If you're not actively on the run, there is plenty to do, from watching your shows to attending local festivals or art installations, to star gazing.
Pleasant place, these days. 5/5
10. Roshar
Note: I'm from here so my review may be biased.
Can't say planet is very clean. It's always at war, and the rain is full of crem.
Food varies. Soulcast food is not very good. Non-soulcast homemade food is great! (Most food is soulcast.)
Accommodations matter--try to stay in a building that is sturdy on both the east & the west side because the storms here do want to kill you. That is not entirely a metaphor. Are the accommodations nice? I mean, they're fine.
There is a lot to do here if you like war. There is a lot of war.
5/5 This place sucks and I miss it a lot.
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creepycranberry ¡ 2 days ago
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Big Black Car- 2
Rafe Cameron X Maybank!Reader
1
Warnings: slow burn, L*ke, topper is very much noncanon compliant (he’s like a mix of topper and Austin’s character in IDDI), alcohol, abuse, parental death, not proofread, kook/pogue bullshit, swearing, w*rd, let me know about anything else.
Extra TW for violence and abuse in this chapter
____________
Luke’s working at the garage today, so you’re cleaning the house and restocking the fridge.
He can pay for his beer, you’re not even touching that shit, but you pay for most everything else. The only thing he really covers is his drinking habit, the utility bill and sometimes necessary maintenance.
Other than that his money is his money and your money is y’all’s money.
You’re cleaning the ceiling fan when a loud knock at the door makes you jump and almost fall off of your step stool.
You open the door only to be faced with your father, who looks to be fuming.
“Why the hell weren’t you at work Saturday?
“I took a day off, why does it matter to you?” You say, backing up a little.
“We need that money, kid!”
“Well maybe if you wouldn’t spend all of your fucking money on alcohol and actually paid attention to your responsibilities instead of being blacked the fuck out all the time We would h-“
Your head is turned by blunt force and your eyes water as your cheeks sting.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that you ungrateful bitch!” He yells and you flinch.
“What do I have to be ungrateful for that I'm not providing for myself?” You retort.
This time you see it coming, moving at the last second to deliver A swift punch to his jaw.
He recovers fast and sends a swift punch to your stomach that knocks the air out of your lungs. And then you’re on the floor when you’re met with a boot to the face
“You fucking bastard! I work so hard for you and you’re not even my fucking daughter you entitled bitch!” He yells, making his way down the hall to your room.
Your room is nothing special, just your bed, a dresser, and a few boxes with stuff in them.
He grabs a box and walks towards the front door, throwing the box in the yard.
“Dad, what are you doing?” You yell, holding your T-shirt over your nose.
“You’re nineteen, find your own damned place to live! Quit mooching off of me you shithead.”
He goes for another box but you close the bedroom door, locking it as he yells from the other side, you grab a large tote bag and shove whatever clothes you can into it before stacking the boxes.
You wait until you can’t hear Luke screaming anymore.
You can’t breathe because of your nose, which isn’t bleeding as heavily anymore, but is still bleeding plenty, and you have a killer headache.
Your shoulder and stomach ache, your cheek stings and it hurts to move your jaw too much.
All of the pain hits you at once and you take a deep breath before attempting to stand, you grab all of your stuff slowly and quickly make your way out to your car, shoving all of the boxes in the back, including the one Luke threw into the yard.
You’re on your way to the Carreras when you see Rafe, walking down the street while you’re stuck at a stop light.
You’ve seen him once since Saturday and he barely acknowledged you.
He doesn’t see you at first and you look away in hopes that will make him less likely to see you at all but it doesn’t. Instead when he sees you his eyebrows lift in surprise and then go back down in what almost looks like concern.
You just keep driving.
when you get to the Carreras Topper is already sitting on the porch, waiting for you.
“Maybank! what the hell happened to you?” He asks, standing up and holding your face still to get a good look, avoiding the bruised areas.
“My dad-” you just start crying.
It’s embarrassing, and it makes your stomach hurt even more but you can’t help it.
Topper rests his hands on your hip and you hiss in pain, practically jumping out of his reach.
Topper moves your shirt up to reveal a big bruise on your ribs.
“This fucking…” Topper trails off and wipes the tears from your face, “it’s gonna be alright. Okay, you tell me when you can, for right now just tell me where it hurts and we’ll get you fixed up. Alright?”
You nod and he leads you to the front door, you fumble with the key for a moment before he takes it from you.
You look around as he unlocks the door and for a split second you see Rafe in the Passenger seat of Topper's car.
You’re shaking, you're not sure when you started shaking but as topper leads you to the couch you look down at your shirt to see the blood and remember that your face and clothes are probably covered in blood.
Topper crouches in front of you, taking in your messy appearance.
“Where does it hurt?” He asks again.
“My uh, my nose,”
“Yeah, no shit.” He smiles.
You return his smile and begin to point to where you can feel the pain.
Topper goes to the freezer and looks for anything to act like an ice pack.
He comes back with a few packages of frozen vegetables. He helps you lie down on the couch before placing the ice packs in their respective areas.
“Where’s the first aid kit here?” He asks and you tell him before you hear your phone ringing.
When you answer it you hear Mr. Carreras voice.
“Hey, Is everything alright? We just got an alert from the security company-“
“Crap, the alarm. Uh, everything is fine I just, I’m in a bit of pain right now and I was kind of just focused on getting an ice pack. I’ll put in the code really quick though.”
“Alright sweetie, call us if you need something.”
You say goodbye and hang up the phone, ignoring the pain in your stomach as you attempt to stand.
“What the hell are you doing?” A low voice at the door asks and you look up to see rafe, leaning against the door frame.
“We set off the security alarm, I have to put in the code to-“
“What’s the code?”
“I’ve gotta do it, Mrs-”
“Maybank, what’s the code?” He says it slow, punctuating each word lightly.
“I’m not giving you the security code to someone else’s house.”
“just give me the damned code and then sit on that damned couch with your ice packs. Alright?”
You cautiously stare at him for a moment before sitting on the couch and putting a package of frozen peaches to your cheek and nose, “102004.”
“Thanks, peaches.” He comments sarcastically and puts the code into the small keypad by the door.
You don’t say anything.
Topper comes back down the stairs with a first aid kit, and a new shirt from your bag.
He looks from you to Rafe and then back again, “everything okay in here?”
“Everything’s fine, Top.” Rafe says, sitting on the other end of the couch.
Topper cleans the blood from your face and neck, then puts a bandage on your nose and hands you back the bag of frozen peaches.
“Um, I need you to take your uh-” Topper stutters. Topper was big on boundaries with you, always being extra careful about your comfortability, even when it was inconvenient.
“He needs you to strip so he can check out the injuries on your torso.” Rafe says, point blank.
Topper gives him a “what the fuck, man?” Look but you just take off your shirt, revealing a black sports bra and a big ass bruise over the right side of your rib cage.
“Jesus, what did that sick son of a bitch do to you?” Rafe exclaims and Topper gives him a look again.
“Took out his anger on me and then kicked me out. Used the whole ‘You're not my daughter anyway’ card and then threw my stuff out into the yard.” You shrug, “it’s fine though, let’s see him try and pay for all his bills and groceries on his own.”
Rafe and Topper go quiet.
“You’re not his daughter?” Rafe asks after a minute.
“Legally I am, not biologically though.” You shrug.
“Whose kid are you then?”
“Joel Morgan.”
“Wasn’t he a Kook though?” Rafe asks and you nod.
“He decided to slum it with my mom at some point. I ended up coming along, but my mom was with JJ’s dad by that point. So he raised me for the first few years of my life, and then he died, I got sent to live with JJs dad, my mom was long gone by then and now here we are.” You explain, giving him the short version.
“And that’s why you went to our school?” Rafe asks and You nod, “wait but wouldn’t he have left like a trust to you or something?”
“He did. had an account to pay for all my schooling too. Only problem is I don’t get access to that trust or my inheritance until I’m twenty five, so until then I’m stuck doing this all on my own.”
The boys stay quiet, topper makes sure that your ribs aren’t broken or anything.
“Well you look alright, just keep ice on them and after your done house sitting if you need a place to stay, my place is always there, my parents love you I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have you-“
“Thanks Topper, but I can deal with it on my own. I have enough saved that four months worth of pay should be able to cover a small apartment. Probably on the cut, in the projects but it’d be better than nothing and definitely better than mooching off of you I-“
“You wouldn’t be mooching-“
“I don’t want to be a burden or cause problems, Topper. I can make it just fine on my own until my trust kicks in.”
“Fine but if you ever need anything, I’d be more than happy to help you.”
You just nod, “thanks for the help.”
“Anytime.”
•~•~•~•~•~
The Carreras get home today so You’re cleaning up again, restocking the fridge, and then changing into work clothes.
You take orders at the counter, sending them off to the kitchen and then handing them out to customers, along with ringing in to-go orders.
You're working a double shift today, trying to make up for the Saturday you missed.
“Hello! Waitress! Could I get a- what the hell happened to you?”
“I don’t think we have that on the menu JJ. Could I get you anything else?”
“Okay, what the fuck?” JJ exclaims, getting up off his stool and going behind the bar, despite the other servers protests, “what happened?”
“Luke kicked me out.” You shrug.
You haven’t seen JJ in the last week or so, he’s been at John B’s, avoiding our father as per usual.
“What?”
“Mhm. I have to figure out a place to stay by the end of the day.”
“Just stay with John B like I am.” JJ shrugs.
“John B is helping us out enough.” You shake your head, refilling a napkin container.
“Well then where will you go? You’re too stubborn to let anyone give you handouts.”
“I’ll figure it out, now, do you need anything to eat? When was the last time you drank some water? You better not just be drinking beer over there.”
“Geez, chill Hermana, me and John B are just fine. You worry about yourself for once. Got it?”
“Sure, fine, whatever.”
“I will take an order of fries though.” You sigh and give him a look before turning around to give the order to the kitchen, “thank you, I love you, you’re the best, extra ketchup please.”
•••
You’re napping in your car after work when violent tapping on the car window wakes you up. You jump and reach into the passenger seat for your keys before realizing that it’s just Topper.
“The Carreras are back.” He says.
“And the sun is up.” You respond, rubbing your eyes.
“Where are you staying?”
“Don’t w-“
“Cause I’m not gonna just let you live in your car. Stop being stubborn and come stay at my place.”
“Topper, it’s kind of you to offer but I really can’t.” You insist, tired of having the same argument with him over and over.
“Just take the fucking offer.” You hear a rough voice behind topper say.
“Rafe I’m not gonna take a handout-“
“It isn’t a handout. It’s a friend looking out for a friend. Fucking hell, just let him do something for you for once. I’m sick of listening to him complain and I’m sick of listening to you two having the same argument over and over. Goddamnit.” Rafe exclaims and you mull it over.
“I’ll pay rent.”
“My parents won’t let you. At most they’ll let you pay for your own necessities but that’s it.” Topper says and you sigh.
“Fine.”
“Fucking finally.” Rafe exclaims and Topper glares at him. You can’t help but laugh a little, which causes Topper to glare at you.
When you look back to Rafe his face is set in a relaxed expression, he’s beginning to look weirdly comfortable when you see him now.
“Need a ride home?” You offer to the both of them and Topper opens the passenger door and Rafe Huffs as he takes residence in the back seat.
When you get to Toppers house his mom is in the front, standing to her flower beds. They were the one things she didn’t let her staff handle.
When you get out of your car she begins to smile before her expression turns to concerned. She turns her attention to her son, “what happened to her?”
“Not my story to tell but she has no where else to stay so I-“
“She's staying here.” His mother says, meeting your eyes. It’s not a question, it’s an order to you.
Topper's mothers family was close with your fathers. You and Topper had known each other at a young age. After your father died and you moved to Luke’s you only saw each other at school. And for a few years that was it, and then Topper turned fourteen and his parents no longer required him to stay closer to their home and he would pick you up from your house on weekends while JJ was at John B’s. You would ride on the pegs on his bike wheels down to the marina and the two of you would hang out until he would have to take you back home.
His mother hated Luke, not just because he was a pogue but because she didn’t think he was fit to be a father. She was wrong for a while and then she wasn’t.
“Yes ma'am.” You smile and she nods.
“Show her to the guest room.” She says, returning her attention to her flower beds and effectively dismissing the three of you.
Topper leads the way and Rafe follows closely behind you. You reach the room next door to Toppers and he opens the door, setting one of your boxes on the floor by the bed.
“This is where you’ll be living, our bathroom is connected, we can go grab toiletries later if you need, towels are in the cabinet above the toilet, toilet paper is under the sink etcetera, etcetera.” Topper smiles and you stand in the middle of the room awkwardly, “you okay?”
“Yeah I uh, it’s just new.”
Topper nods and leads you through the bathroom to his room. You had spent some amount of time here in middle school. You would come over and rant to Topper about work shit, ignoring him when he offered you money.
Topper flops onto the bed and you sit in the desk chair, spinning around. Rafe sits on the bench at the foot of the bed, his eyes trained on your nose.
“Does it still hurt?” He asks you.
His sincerity almost shocks you, “only when I remember it’s there.”
“Sorry.” He mumbles.
“It was polite of you to ask.” You offer him and he nods before training his eyes on the floor.
“What did Mr. Carrera say?” Topper breaks the silence.
“He uh- he didn’t really say anything to me about it. He slipped a hundred into my tips though.” You smile as best you can, “he did tell Kie to ask JJ about it though.”
“He hates JJ.” Top comments.
“That doesn’t really matter when it comes to JJ or me actually surviving.”
“I think Mom will probably kill him if she sees him around.” Topper smiles and you nod.
“Seems like a safe bet.”
Rafe looks severely uncomfortable when he speaks next, “I’m kinda bored. I might just head out.” It’s directed at Topper but he’s looking at you.
“You sure, man?” Top asks and rafe nods.
“Yeah, wheezies been having a hard time in her English class and dad and Rose are out of town so I’ll probably have to help her with that.” He says, getting up and heading for the door, stopping to turn to you, “I’ll have Sarah let JJ know where you’re at.”
“Thank you, Rafe.”
“No problem, peaches” he says as he heads down the hall.
“I really hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”
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swinging-stars-from-satellites ¡ 7 months ago
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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it
#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true#but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this#but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often#so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME#BUT I REPRESSED IT#and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes#also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to#and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME#actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it#bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me#anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories#or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho#which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety — nope!! okiedoke moving on#k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now#*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time#(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)
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oh-meow-swirls ¡ 8 months ago
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was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i love dukesville. yo-kai watch wild west. though also everyone in bbq talks like they're in the wild west-#i don't blame myself for not having any commentary on hazeltine mansion tbh. it sucks ass. i mean it's kind of fun but like#god is it annoying. i think using the mechanic of switching between nate and hailey for puzzles is a cool idea but. bad execution#very bad execution. it is so annoying#especially the section where you're in the basement and have to use the drill a bunch#... why are there prison cells in the basement anyways??????? i just realized how fucking weird that is-#i'm mostly just annoyed by the dining room puzzle tbh. i KNOW the fucking answers but verygoodsir is an ASSHOLE for some reason#and won't let me choose the FUCKING CORRECT DOORS#3's so fucking amazing tbh. i really wanna replay it soon. don't wanna have to delete a save file though#wish 3 had three save files like 1 and 2. i get why though i mean it's the biggest 3ds game klsfdjfskjfsdjksdf-#i wanna like. actually use my originyan for once. i might just end up using nyases ii instead tho fsdkljjdsfjskd-#i love every chapter in 3 after nate and hailey meet tbh. the bestie moments are so good#though also i don't think it was an amazing idea tbh. it means there's six main characters after that point#sometimes one character will go several cutscenes without talking at all. it's usually buck#he doesn't have any dialogue during any of the key quests in new yo-kai city. which is pretty amusing admittedly#i think the writers just forgot about him or something fslkdjdfslkjfsdljkdf-#i think my favorite thing related to that is like. during the stuff in bada-bing tower komasan and komajiro are there too#but they don't have any dialogue. which makes it seem kind of pointless#i get why they're there plot-wise but like. at that point you should either have them leave before you go to bada-bing tower#(esp since they don't end up in the ufo with everyone else. idr if there's a reason for that there probably isn't-)#(i think i slightly blocked out everything in bada-bing tower cuz it is so grueling)#or just. give them dialogue???#i love 3 and all but it definitely has some problems-#which is why i'm so excited to rewrite it <3 for both of those reasons. i can fix things. and also it's the best game#just. full-stop. not just the best yo-kai watch. i just think it's the best game ever#that title changes based on my current biggest hyperfixation though sfldfsjdkslfdjkfdj-#i think i'd say my overall top 5 is like. yo-kai watch 3. deltarune. ummmm. fantasy life is up there
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deus-ex-mona ¡ 1 year ago
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watching people interact with each other l i k e
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#idk is it just me or are ​irl social interactions extremeeeeeelyyyyy e x h a u s t i n g#e s p e ci a ll y if you have to talk to a bunch of strangers who are somehow getting along really well despite it being their first meeting#but wellllllllllll… ig the reason why im even thinking of this is bc#the beginning of the year always never fails to bring back memories of orientation camps. m a n i hated those#and the things that those camps always have in common are… 1) that i’d be unable to gel well with my groupmates in the orientation camps#and 2) that the orientation group leaders always stick close to me to force me to join in on conversations i want no part of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i think the overnight camp over the first 3 days of school in. like. 2013 was the worst#bc 1: it was a new school. none of us knew anyone else. and we had to stay at school overnight for some reason during that orientation camp#and 2: (idk about the born-males but) the skirt wearers were all forced to sleep in the (unairconditioned) hall together#with no dividers or segregated corners or anything. just the walls of the hall. nothing else to lean on or anything#so most of them. like. slept in the middle of the hall next to the friends they made that day.#but no. not me. i made no friends so i found a little cozy spot under some list of top academic scorers or sth. peace and quiet#and the best part is that the orientation group leaders didn’t sleep in the hall with us soooo i wasn’t forced to talk to anyone yayyyyyyyy#ngl sometimes i think back to my days at that school and wonder why the heck it was so weird#like even the teachers were weird. throwback to my then-club advisor who called the number i specifically asked her not to call…#which set off a series of events that led to *the* incident that caused my parents’ divorce#thank you ma’am your unnecessary efforts were very much unappreciated </3#hmmmmmm but she wasn’t the only weird teacher at that school though. sadly.#like i had this home econs teacher who insisted that the lights be turned off while we cooked#a n d scolded us for rinsing our cooking utensils and stuff bc ‘the previous class had already washed it!’#she also made us write half a page-long reflections on what we cooked that day in class which was bonkers tbh#there was this literature teacher that made a ✨t o n✨ of shipping jokes about my classmates and inappropriate jokes in general#and this other teacher who p much told me ‘ok sure you have trauma. but [other guy] had experienced worse trauma and look he turned out ok’#uh sorry ma’am no. 2 i had already heard his story from him but i don’t think it’s your place to talk about someone else’s trauma like that—#and g o d there was also this time my class’s groupchat got some of my classmates into a whole bunch of trouble#bc some guy leaked the most problematic of the messages to someone else from another class (who then snitched to a teacher)#man. i do not miss school at all. too many people to talk to; too little time to myself#i do wonder how my former schoolmates are doing though… i hope that they’ll have a good 2k24 if they can~~~~~#ok i think that’s enough of a trip down memory lane for one week. man. i feel old
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sabraeal ¡ 2 years ago
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously 🤣
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bangcakes ¡ 10 months ago
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violentdevotion ¡ 2 years ago
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I had multiple dreams last night.
I had a bf </3
someone in my family got bit by a zombie </3
some guy made me explain narrative structure to him </3
#ameera speaks#1 expanded) it was someone ik in real life 😔 which sucks soooo bad anyway he was at mine and we were watching a movie in my bed on my#laptop < (loser behaviour) and okay so im lying by referring to him as my bf bc we were just friends in the dream but then he started like#acting well intimate and i wasnt not into it so i was like hey whats going on here and we had a talk and then i had to sneak him out of my#house. dream 2) zombie apocalypse im in my room my nephews and nieces come in and i usher them out. the world is the samw just + zombies.#like think covid when it was dire but schools were still open? (my dream was a commentary on the countries failures to manage covid) so i#usher my neohews and nieces out and i make a comment to my sister in law like ooh im scared one of them got bit and my nephew was like some#girl bit me at school today and i told his mum and i stayed in my room and like an hour later i rang her like whats the update#and she was like oh yeah and came into my room to find my journal on zombie stuff and sge was like should i just cut off his arm and i was#idk try but if that doesnt work youre gonna have to... and she was SO CASUALLL !!!! and as she was leaving she started like picking things#up off the floor and i made a comment like your sons dying and youre sweeping and she was like way harsh tai and i woke up#that one was a commentsry on covid and also how i might be too mean to my sister in laws sometimes#3) i was in a library with friends researching smth and some asian guy sits on our table turns his back to us and talks to his friends.#then he starts playing music loudly from his phone and i move back to my table and as im walking he stops me and starts talking to some#girl on the table next to mine who he knows and is like hey i have an assignment due where i have to write a compelling narrative from my#own life ur clever can u help and she was a stem girly and went highschool with me and she pointed at me like ask her she does english#and he was like no u just tell me and she started helping him but i felt the advice she was giving was.. bad. so i interrupted like dont#you think that you should do __ instead and we had a discussion about it till i woke up. < that dream was a commentary on how useless my#degree is and how i wish it wasnt useless
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deltastorm101 ¡ 2 years ago
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“do the face, do the face! :D”
@subjectsix ‘s K.Y.E. and Raster from her original story Botan City!
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms ¡ 2 years ago
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I really really wish dreams were easier to understand/interpret
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#I keep having dreams/nightmares about repressed memories &/or memories in general or like investigations or smth#like my dreams will be point blank referencing something going so far as to literally tell me that in dream but either I don’t know what or#I don’t fully understand why? like some stuff is obvious and easy & usually I figure it out in dream or right after#but other times it’s just like ???? or it’s like I have some of the pieces but not all of them and I have no idea what picture I’m supposed#to be trying to put together for the puzzle either? sometimes dreams are just cool adventures with like messaging or processing#other times it’s memories and I can tell I’m in a memory but I either can’t tell which one or why or it’s like a hazy remix of several ? or#sometimes it’s like there’s someone else there with me guiding me through it? sometimes it’s like another me or a demon or a ghost or a god#I’ve also noticed a huge uptick in dreams/nightmares where it’s like I can tell the time period they come from and it’s been getting#like progressively younger? like I had some post grad then high school then middle#and then last sleeps one was elementary or younger maybe bits & pieces where I was slightly older?#I remember going through different places i lived in order to figure out my ideal living area but there was a memory block on one area#& I remember exploring like my childhood home & I know I was a kid because I was short and everything looked like it did when I was little#everything was bigger & I remember there was I think parties? & AU versions of my family some supernatural#ik there was an investigation w/ me & an Alt ver of my sis bc smth happened to both of us & it was like a whodunnit while a cooking comp was#sort of in the back ground? think iron chef but supernatural it went between that and parties where I was the only kid there so if I go#based on that there’s at least 2 maybe 3 hazy memories of parties my siblings had? 1 was in upstairs bathroom which was hazy but I remember#I was alone with this one girl in the bathroom at some point who I think later died if it’s the same girl & then the other one there’s hazy#memories of I think me showing one of my sisters friends around the basement? around the same area as the dream too#I also keep having dreams/nightmares of the same house ik I had one before where it was abt how me+siblings have ties there that will keep#leading us back & I think my dad was trying to sever it or fix it from the afterlife? I’ve had a lot of dreams about him & the house#he’s usually either dealing w/ smth there or stuck or needs my help or it’s just memories/easier there but occasionally he gets really creep#like I had a nightmare a while ago where he was this scary shadow man at the end of the basement hall I didn’t actually know if it was him#but bc dream logic I wanted it to be him so I ran towards him & it turned into an older version that wouldn’t have been there normally#also weird coz it’s normal to have nightmares abt certain members of my family but the recent one was very different than they normally are#I’m not usually as young like I’m often younger (sometimes older) but not usually that same feeling and time period#I think the last time I rmemeber having nightmares like that was when I WAS that age back when I used to have nightmares every night#+ ofc occasional sleep paralysis (thanks tonsils) it’s like my brain is trying to remember all the stuff I’ve blocked out over the years
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nocherryblood ¡ 1 year ago
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May I add: living with chronic anything.
Sometimes people with chronic conditions do everything they can to avoid making symptoms worse, or to manage their existing pain. Creams, meds, long medical treatments, etc. Sometimes it's long and monotonous, and people are still in pain afterwards. Sometimes it's more manageable.
Sometimes, people with chronic conditions might not want to do that. Sometimes they just want to carry on as they are. Maybe it's health risks, or monetary reasons, or it's just not worth it. Sometimes people just don't want to do it, full stop.
Chronic conditions are chronic for one reason: even if they come and go in bouts, even if they're "not that bad"... they don't go away. Sometimes they remain forever, sometimes they may go away. But either way, you will have them for a significant portion of time.
Some people have cures and medicine that helps them to live as uninterrupted as possible, some don't- whether it's access to funds to get it, or because there literally just isn't something like that out there in the world, or maybe it's too risky. Sometimes you can be cured of one thing and it causes another, or it can come back, or, even if your main symptoms are gone, you may be left permanently affected by what the condition did to your body.
Some people have low pain or needs- this doesn't mean they're "overreacting" or "being too dramatic". Pain, even on a low scale, can be absolutely debilitating over a prolonged period of time. Sometimes, medical specialists can get very temperamental over this- personally, my conditions always get missed on 95% tests even if the markers to indicate I have them are there, so the specialists are very reluctant to give me help at first because they don't understand how much my pain affects my life until I prove to them that that help supports me to try to carry on as best as possible. This meme pretty much sums it up (for those who are confused, π, or, pi, is a number that never ends- the calculation for it has been going on for hundreds upon hundreds of years and we're still nowhere near the end seemingly):
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On the other hand, some people experience extremely high pain levels and/or are severely affected by their chronic conditions, so much so that it limits them from doing a majority, if not all, of their daily life activities. Some can manage with a carer or assistant, some cannot. That doesn't make them "useless" or "unworthy" or "lazy". They are valuable as all humans are to each other, no matter whether or not they can work "like everyone else" to fulfill that cruel, uncaring, devaluing shitshow of modern expectations of an adult or not. Human decency and care for each other shouldn't ever be associated in the slightest with output or ability.
Sometimes, people's conditions are "intrusive" and/or affect other people's lives (e.g. family becoming carers or assistants, needing more support, being unable to control impulses or body functions) and whilst, yes, sometimes they can take effort to deal with by people on the outside, the person themselves is not incontrol of their condition and complaining 24/7 about it to them will just make them feel like crap. Contrary to popular belief, many people with chronic conditions are actually extremely aware of the effect of their condition on themselves and especially others, and are constantly overcompensating for it and putting so much effort into dampening it down just to make it more "palatable" for others. You don't need to tell them what they already know- if something's really affecting you, maybe come up with a realistic way to help before you ream off about how much something they're having to deal with is annoying you.
Please, don't expect someone to move mountains if you're not going to give them the rope.
And the final point I'm going to make is... please, for the love of your own compassion, sometimes there are people who are tired of having to constantly have to avoid triggers or irritants (e.g. with skin conditions), and want to allow themselves some semblance of being able to live like fully non-chronically affected (i.e. not living with a chronic condition) people for a while.
Concern is a lovely thing to have, but sometimes, people just want to have a bit of a break, y'know? I understand if there's concern about someone continually, severely harming themselves with their actions (i.e. eating an allergen they're highly allergic to, or something that could seriously harm them long-term)- of course, speak to them or try to empathise with them and then bring up your concerns, or come up with something alternative for them.
But if it's a short-term thing? Just let me have this one thing, please- my mental health needs it too. Don't judge me for wanting to have one long night out even if I'm chronically exhausted or easily get overwhelmed. Don't judge me if I have chronic skin conditions but want to have one nice perfume or pretty bath even though I'll be barely able to tolerate clothes in the morning. Don't tell someone they're dumb because they want to take a walk even if they may not be able to keep moving for long. I, and they, can regulate ourselves- we know the risk vs. the reward and sometimes you just want to do "normal" things for once.
Just... please. We're not defined by our conditions, but it doesn't mean we're not constantly affected by them too. They're a part of us, they're not always a welcome part of us, but they're there and we have to deal with them. Just please don't forget: just because we seem happy or fine, doesn't mean we can't be in pain.
when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people
the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to
#stuff im nervous to write: a list.#1. autism/ocd tics. whenever it's mentioned irl ppl say “you don't have tourette's(!!)”...no i dont! I'm talking about AUTISM/OCD tics 🫠#2. “High-functioning” (for lack of better term) characters that can't/don't want to mask. irl I'm scolded for “acting more autistic”#2. and it hurts. first bc im not “acting” it's just trying to let my body carry out all the random little impulses i get and also bc “more#2. autistic“ (which isn't a great term anyway) is fucking cruel to use an insult. the people you think of as ”more autistic“ are people.#2. they gave thoughts and feeling too BC they're HUMAN. regardless of whether people know you're insulting them doesn't change what the#2. underlying message you're trying to say with that “more autistic” line.#3. autistics who react to stimuli in different ways. some ppl flap theur hands some dont. some vocalise but can control it some dont. some#3. have meltdowns and shutdowns and some dont. pls dont come to me and say “wait why couldn't [character] just say beforehand that”#3. they needed space or time out?“ is an example. it's okay to be curious- good even. but framing your questions in a way as to#3. blame someone for their actions especially when sometimes things happen sudden or without warning.#4. long-term chronic things. e.g. depression- ppl say you must wanna not be here to be depressed.#4. well no actually depression can also be when you feel empty or like everything is shallow or you can't comtrol anything.#4. wanting to hurt yourself isn't a deciding factor of depression. sometimes you just feel... tired. like a cloud over your heart. for years#4. skin issues- irl ppl acting up when i use something that i know is going to irritate my skin. not bc they care it will hurt. but bc it's#4. their moral mighty high ground. i know it's obvious to avoid irritants. but sometimes idc bc I've gone over a decade without and i would#like to indulge myself in something as simple as a bubble bath or a nice fabric for ny clothes thank you very much.#4. chronic migraines- ppl when i tell them i have a headache: “again!?!? ffs just take some meds” me- “thanks 👍🏼”#4. chronic anything tbh. sometimes when you've lived with something for long enough you want to have something nice once in a while#chronic illness#chronic pain#long post#chronic condition
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s-soulwriter ¡ 3 months ago
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Things Real People Do in Dialogue (For Your Next Story)
Okay, let’s be real—dialogue can make or break a scene. You want your characters to sound natural, like actual humans talking, not robots reading a script. So, how do you write dialogue that feels real without it turning into a mess of awkward pauses and “ums”? Here’s a little cheat sheet of what real people actually do when they talk (and you can totally steal these for your next story):
1. People Interrupt Each Other All the Time In real conversations, nobody waits for the perfect moment to speak. We interrupt, cut each other off, and finish each other's sentences. Throw in some overlaps or interruptions in your dialogue to make it feel more dynamic and less like a rehearsed play.
2. They Don’t Always Say What They Mean Real people are masters of dodging. They’ll say one thing but mean something totally different (hello, passive-aggressive banter). Or they’ll just avoid the question entirely. Let your characters be vague, sarcastic, or just plain evasive sometimes—it makes their conversations feel more layered.
3. People Trail Off... We don’t always finish our sentences. Sometimes we just... stop talking because we assume the other person gets what we’re trying to say. Use that in your dialogue! Let a sentence trail off into nothing. It adds realism and shows the comfort (or awkwardness) between characters.
4. Repeating Words Is Normal In real life, people repeat words when they’re excited, nervous, or trying to make a point. It’s not a sign of bad writing—it’s how we talk. Let your characters get a little repetitive now and then. It adds a rhythm to their speech that feels more genuine.
5. Fillers Are Your Friends People say "um," "uh," "like," "you know," all the time. Not every character needs to sound polished or poetic. Sprinkle in some filler words where it makes sense, especially if the character is nervous or thinking on their feet.
6. Not Everyone Speaks in Complete Sentences Sometimes, people just throw out fragments instead of complete sentences, especially when emotions are high. Short, choppy dialogue can convey tension or excitement. Instead of saying “I really think we need to talk about this,” try “We need to talk. Now.”
7. Body Language Is Part of the Conversation Real people don’t just communicate with words; they use facial expressions, gestures, and body language. When your characters are talking, think about what they’re doing—are they fidgeting? Smiling? Crossing their arms? Those little actions can add a lot of subtext to the dialogue without needing extra words.
8. Awkward Silences Are Golden People don’t talk non-stop. Sometimes, they stop mid-conversation to think, or because things just got weird. Don’t be afraid to add a beat of awkward silence, a long pause, or a meaningful look between characters. It can say more than words.
9. People Talk Over Themselves When They're Nervous When we’re anxious, we tend to talk too fast, go back to rephrase what we just said, or add unnecessary details. If your character’s nervous, let them ramble a bit or correct themselves. It’s a great way to show their internal state through dialogue.
10. Inside Jokes and Shared History Real people have history. Sometimes they reference something that happened off-page, or they share an inside joke only they get. This makes your dialogue feel lived-in and shows that your characters have a life beyond the scene. Throw in a callback to something earlier, or a joke only two characters understand.
11. No One Explains Everything People leave stuff out. We assume the person we’re talking to knows what we’re talking about, so we skip over background details. Instead of having your character explain everything for the reader’s benefit, let some things go unsaid. It’ll feel more natural—and trust your reader to keep up!
12. Characters Have Different Voices Real people don’t all talk the same way. Your characters shouldn’t either! Pay attention to their unique quirks—does one character use slang? Does another speak more formally? Maybe someone’s always cutting people off while another is super polite. Give them different voices and patterns of speech so their dialogue feels authentic to them.
13. People Change the Subject In real life, conversations don’t always stay on track. People get sidetracked, jump to random topics, or avoid certain subjects altogether. If your characters are uncomfortable or trying to dodge a question, let them awkwardly change the subject or ramble to fill the space.
14. Reactions Aren’t Always Immediate People don’t always respond right away. They pause, they think, they hesitate. Sometimes they don’t know what to say, and that delay can speak volumes. Give your characters a moment to process before they respond—it’ll make the conversation feel more natural.
Important note: Please don’t use all of these tips in one dialogue at once.
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mayspicer ¡ 8 months ago
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Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
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deadsetobsessions ¡ 10 months ago
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.4
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
Danny was sitting in the back, his backpack obnoxiously taking up the seat next to him, when the door to the lecture hall creaked open near silently.
“What are you in here for?” Danny asked the guy who crept into class. He sympathetically took his backpack off the Seat of Shame and allowed the guy to sit down. Funnily enough, they had the same hair and eye color.
“Gen Ed. Undecided. You?” The guy grunted quietly back.
“Environmental studies. I’m Danny.”
“Tim.”
With the implicit understanding of two people in a required class they could not give less than two fucks about, Tim and Danny tuned back into the lecture. When the class was assigned group work, Danny looked over to see Tim softly snoring, head slammed down on the table.
“Tim. Wake up, dude.” Danny poked his shoulder.
“Huh? Class over?”
“Nah, we got group work. Discussion board.”
“Oh shit, thanks for waking me up. Wanna team up?”
Danny shrugged. “Sure. We should aim to post it in the middle so the professor doesn’t read our answers to the class.”
“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Any idea what we’re talking about?”
“Kind of?”
“Good enough for me.”
——
Tim Drake kept seeing Danny Fenton around on campus.
“Danny! Dude, what are you doing?”
Danny turned, gloved hands full of crumpled trash. “Picking up after the student population, apparently.”
“Didn’t think environmental studies was that serious.”
“Global warming is very serious, you jerk,” Danny smirked at him, crossing the grass to put the trash into the trash can. “Reduce, reuse, oil shouldn’t be spilled in water and all that.”
“Basic stuff,” Tim grinned. Nice, he basically had a friend past Bernard now!
They were friends, right?
“And yet humanity fails to comprehend it. Incredible. Incredibly stupid that is.”
“They get it. Major corporations just don’t care.”
Danny sighed. “True that. You on your way to your next class?” He took off his biodegradable gloves off (nitrile and nylon, baby!) and chucked them into the trash.
“I’ve got free time, actually. Prof cancelled for his daughter’s surgery.”
“Oh, shit, that’s rough! You wanna go downtown and join the strike?”
“A strike? What for?” Even as he asked, Tim hiked his bag higher onto his shoulder, ready to go. They fell into step as the two left campus.
“Apparently, Quillan Pharma was doing some shady shit at their manufacturing plants. I think it’s like killing kids, and pouring toxins into the ground.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh! Poison Ivy’s gonna be there!”
Tim blinked. He casted a sideways look at Danny. Sure he’s been here long enough to know… but it couldn’t hurt to check. “You know she’s an eco-terrorist, right?”
“Okay, but like… people suck sometimes. And all she’s asking for is like don’t kill the planet. And she doesn’t do that whole mind control thing too much anymore! The Sirens are so cool. Plus, one of my best friends at home might actually kill me if I don’t try to get her autograph. Poison Ivy is like, Sam’s personal hero.”
Tim snickered. “Yeah, okay. Mind if one of my friends join? His name’s Bernard.”
“The more the merrier,” Danny nodded. “Ooo! Hot chocolate. Want some?”
Danny bought three drinks as Tim trailed behind, texting Bernard.
“He said yes.”
“Cool! We should meet up somewhere before the drinks get cold.”
Well, Danny got the autograph. Tim got a new friend, and Bernard got a drink from his crush.
——
“Oh, you’re the glowing dude that Batman always talks about!”
Danny blinked, eyes scanning the wing-like cape and the yellow emblem on the hero’s suit. Danny was indeed glowing, stars and nebulas freckling across neon green skin, and glowing hair the color of a white dwarf star, tinged with the blue from his ice core.
“I… have absolutely no idea who you are,” Danny lied, like a liar. He’s found a surprising niche of entertainment in messing with the local vigilantes and he’ll be damned if he missed this opportunity.
He heard a snicker from the comm lines as Red Robin visibly brushes it off.
“I’m Red Robin. Why are you picking up trash?”
“Picking up after you humans, apparently.”
The both of them blink, feeling a weird sense of dĂŠjĂ  vu. A moment of awkward silence passed before they both shook it off.
“Are you here to help? No offense, but the track record for you people is terrible.” Danny strode over and grabbed a bag. He opened it, and shook it at Red Robin’s face. “See? Batarangs, these odd bird looking ones, the R’s. Seriously, pick up after yourselves!”
“Oh, woah, can we have these back?”
Danny yanked the bag back before Red Robin could get close. “Pay me. These were incredibly tedious to pick up. Especially the batarangs. I mean, I even found a whole bunch of old rusted ones in the middle of the bay. What did you do, dump an entire bag in there from the air?”
Red Robin sighed and took out a wad of cash, with tracking fluid all over it. Danny grimaced, smelling the odd scent on the money. “That’s not real cash. It smells off. Are you trying to give me counterfeits because you’re broke?”
Red Robin gaped, oddly offended. “No! They’re real!”
“Doesn’t smell like it. It’s stinkier than the trash. Go get the one with the money, the litterer. Tell him I’ll be back the next full moon. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Danny grumbled, disappearing on the spot to watch Red Robin flounder with the stack of cash and the piles of dead bodies on the shore.
“What the fuck even is my life these days?” Red Robin wondered out loud, stuffing the cash back into his pocket. He looked over the plastic wrapped bodies and slumped, sighing.
Oddly enough, Danny felt a sense of sympathy. Well, he’s not getting paid for sympathy. He’s not getting paid at all tonight, actually. Danny flew off, plunging once more into the depths of the significantly cleaner waters, and used his ice to scoop out oil stains.
Danny glanced around and sighed. He had a lot of work to do.
——
“So you’re saying he’s like a werewolf mermaid fae child immortal god thing, right?”
Bruce grunted.
“B, what the hell are you smoking these days? You know drugs are bad, right? Do we need Superman to give you that PSA?” Jason snickered.
Tim, massaging his arms from having to haul an ungodly amount of dead bodies, grunted. He’s so similar to Bruce that it gave the people currently in the cave hives.
“He said full moon. I don’t think we can track him with regular stuff. The bugs kept shorting out.”
“Oh boy,” Dick sighed. “Don’t fall off the spiral cliff, Tim. You’ve got midterms to think about so no stalking the guy.”
“Yet,” Tim shot back, changing out of his suit.
Bruce grunted, setting aside a huge stack of cash.
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