#you think that you should do __ instead and we had a discussion about it till i woke up. < that dream was a commentary on how useless my

[wonder-worker]

"[Elizabeth Woodville] was the only member of [Crown Prince Edward of Westminster's] original 1471 council not already on the king’s council and her name headed the list of those appointed as administrators in Wales during Edward’s minority. [She remained on the council after it was expanded in 1473 and granted significant new governing and judicial powers]."

"In 1478 Prince Richard [of Shrewsbury] married the Mowbray heiress. Like his elder brother he had a chancellor, seal, household and council to manage his estates. His council, like that of Prince Edward, comprised the queen [Elizabeth Woodville] and a group of magnates and bishops, few of whom were Woodville supporters [...] It was Elizabeth who mattered, for Richard resided with her and Rivers treated his affairs as their own."

-J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Michael Hicks, Richard III and his Rivals: Magnates and their Motives in the Wars of the Roses

[violentdevotion]

I had multiple dreams last night.

I had a bf </3

someone in my family got bit by a zombie </3

some guy made me explain narrative structure to him </3

[iamnmbr3]

Time to discuss drarry moment number 923074037286 in HBP. I think it's really notable how in the aftermath of Dumbledore's death Harry not only canonically doesn't feel angry at Draco at all despite feeling murderous rage towards Snape, but actually goes out of his way to recount events in a way that shifts blame away from Draco as much as possible.

First, Tonks asks how Dumbledore died and we get this bit:

"Snape killed him," said Harry. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that's where the Mark was . . . Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realized it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilized me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak -- and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him--" Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned. Luna's mouth trembled. "-- more Death Eaters arrived -- and then Snape -- and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra."

Harry says there was a trap but doesn't mention anything about it having been a trap planned and set by Draco.

He uses passive, distancing language that doesn't even make it clear whose footsteps they heard on the stairs or under what circumstances Draco disarmed Dumbledore.

He doesn't mention anything about Draco having been assigned to kill Dumbledore, and almost makes it sound like he could've just happened on them and disarmed Dumbledore as a reflex or even in self defense.

And then he doesn't say that Draco held Dumbledore there at bay for a while, instead leaving it ambiguous as to whether the other Death Eaters arrived right away on Draco's heels.

And that's it. That's all he says. He puts all the focus and blame on Snape. Only several pages later when McGonagall asks how the Death Eaters got in does Harry even explain about the Vanishing Cabinets. Specifically the text says:

[H]e explained, briefly, about the pair of Vanishing Cabinets and the magical pathway they formed.

Again we see the same passive, distancing language that we saw when Harry mentioned "footsteps" on the stairs but didn't clearly say whose. It says he explained about the cabinets rather than something like "he explained about Malfoy's treachery and his plan to use the pair of Vanishing Cabinets to let Death Eaters into the school."

Harry directs the focus away from Draco and Draco's intent and involvement. I'm not sure this is even on a conscious level. His words are mimicking what his mind and his emotions are doing.

When someone asks what Snape shouted to the other Death Eaters as he ran past we get this:

"He shouted, 'It's over,'" said Harry. "He'd done what he'd meant to do."

Harry says he'd done what he - Snape - meant to do. Not what Draco had meant to do. Or what they'd planned together. So once again we see that Harry avoids blaming Draco or even revealing his full role in what happened.

And then, most interestingly, not till later when he's alone with McGonagall does he reveal that Rosmerta is being controlled. And the way he recounts it is REALLY striking.

"There's one thing you should know before the Ministry gets here, though. Madam Rosmerta's under the Imperius Curse, she was helping Malfoy and the Death Eaters, that's how the necklace and the poisoned mead--"

Again the use of passive language. He says that she is under the Imperius Curse rather than that Draco put her under the Imperius curse. In fact, he avoids directly blaming Draco at all. Harry merely says that she has been put under the Imperius curse by someone and that she was forced to pass on the necklace and the poisoned mead, leaving it ambiguous who cursed her and on whose orders she did those things, thus shielding Draco from blame.

He only brings up Draco to say that Rosmerta had been helping him and the Death Eaters rather than that it was Draco specifically who was controlling her. Given that the use of an Unforgivable Curse carries a life sentence in Azkaban this phrasing is certainly interesting. And it means that if Rosmerta did not see who originally cursed her, she might not be able to say who forced her to help Draco or possibly even whose idea it was to send the necklace and the mead into the school. That would make Harry the only witness who could prove Draco's guilt, and seemingly he doesn't want to do that.

Also. Draco IS a Death Eater. Harry's known it since the beginning of the year. And yet he says "Malfoy and the Death Eaters," because without even realizing it, he mentally puts Draco in a different category.

And then the next time Harry thinks of Malfoy is when he's looking towards where Draco usually sits and thinking about how Crabbe and Goyle look "lonely" without him even though given the tensions between them that we see in books 6 and 7 it's almost certain that they don't miss him at all. It seems much more likely that Harry is actually projecting his own feelings. In this context we get this bit of internal narration:

His animosity was all for Snape, but he had not forgotten the fear in Malfoy's voice on that tower top, nor the fact that he had lowered his wand before the other Death Eaters arrived.

I mean just what? All? ALL of his animosity? Draco is the one who let Death Eaters into the castle. He disarmed Dumbledore, thus (seemingly) enabling Snape to kill him. He also got Bill permanently maimed (though he didn't intend for that to happen).

If Harry simply felt nothing for Draco but dislike I don't think these circumstances would put him in the best mindset to start empathizing with him. Harry has a temper. You'd think he'd disregard all the extenuating circumstances and blame Draco for Dumbledore's death too.

I mean this is some of his narration about Snape, for example:

"So when he arrived at the fight, he joined in on the Death Eaters' side?" asked Harry, who wanted every detail of Snape's duplicity and infamy, feverishly collecting more reasons to hate him, to swear vengeance.

But no. That's not how he feels about Draco at all. In fact after thinking about how his animosity is all for Snape and dwelling with pity and concern on how afraid Draco looked and how he had lowered his wand, Harry actually starts wondering where Draco is and worrying about him and about what Voldemort is "making" him do now.

Because despite their rivalry, there's more between Harry and Draco than simple dislike. Harry understands him deeply. And he's immediately ready to sympathize with him and to protect him.

For all that they are stranded on opposite sides of a brewing war, they also have things in common. Harry is drawn to Draco and he cares about him. He knows Draco isn't a murderer and he can't bring himself to even pretend to hate him anymore. He just wants him to be safe.

[unholybacon355]

Kinktober Day 20 - Giselle x M! Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Apparently the meeting was going on like shit, and that had you stressed as fuck. This is the third cigarette you have smoked during this break and has been not more than ten minutes, you have to calm down if you don’t want to smoke the entire cigarette pack by the end of the break. 

“OMG I Need a cigarette so bad.” The words of your coworker Giselle coming to the rooftop terrace interrupted your thoughts.  “They aren’t doing any shit to make this better.” Apparently she was as mad as you with the current situation. “Do you have a lighter? I think I lost mine.”

You just took another big puff of the cigarette, before even trying to answer her. But Giselle wasn't here to wait, she already was so stressed and didn't need another thing to make her day worse, even if it was to wait a few seconds for your asner.

Leaning on toward you she uses the cigarette you have between your lips to light her’s. The view you have during the few seconds that take light the cigarette is wonderful.. Giselle is beautiful, that’s out of discussion, but wasn’t her face what you were looking at. She was wearing the most revealing outfit she could according to the dress code, to make her cleavage look the most juicy and delicious she could. If you didn't know her tits so well you would think her nipples were at the edge of showing.

“Take a picture. It lasts longer, so you don’t have to stare at my tits like a pervert.”

“If you weren’t showing them around I couldn’t stare at them.” You took another puff and blows the smoke through your nose. “And I already have tons of photos of your tits. You send me some of those.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining. I can´t stop fucking you if you want.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?

“Daaaah of course I have one. But he doesn't work here and I need a way to take out the stress. ”Giselle blows smoke from her mouth before continuing talking. “This meeting is driving me crazy. I wish we had more time, this break isn’t even worth it to take lunch.”

“It is what it is. I guess no one is eating till this shit ends.” You said, shrugging your shoulders. “At least I can look at your tits. That’s something.”

“Eeew pervert.” Giselle said with fake disgust on her face. “Wanna suck them while I jerk you off? I guess we have enough time. You never last longer.”

“Here? Sure, so anyone can see us.” You throw the cigarette to the trash and attempt to take another from the pack. 

“Coward, we are on floor ten. Come here.” Giselle says, already opening the first button of her blouse and taking out her tits. Her big brown nipples come out to say hello. You give up with the new cigarette and instead unzip your pants to take out just your already semi erected dick.You klean against the wall and let Giselle put her tits on your face while she grabs your shaft. Really need to fuck me after this meeting.”

You can’t answer that because your mouth is already busy sucking Giselle’s right nipple, and your hand is rolling the other to make it hard too. For their part Giselle’s hand is working with precision on your shaft, beating your meat as she were shaking a bottle of ketchup. Clearly you're the one putting the sausage on the hot dog today.

“Are you swallowing?” You say taking her nipple out of your mouth to change to suck the other.

“No way, I’m just jerking you off.” She quickens her pace as if she were warning you to not mess with her. “After work maybe. There is a new love hotel, we should visit it.” 

“Sounds good. “ Now you’re licking her nipples shifting between right and left, while your hands are squeezing her tits. 

Giselle is doing her best to not moan, because your tongue isn’t giving her an easy time. Your mouth and her tits know each other well, and apparently you know how to suck Giselle’s nipples better than her boyfriend. For your part you don’t need to worry about you making noises because you have a pair of juicy tiddies shuting your mouth. 

“Easy boy. I can’t go back with a  mark on my tiddies. “ But instead her hand is working faster on your shaft. Her fingers are gently pressing your meat and pumping you like if she were extracting oil from the ground. And like they know when the oil is about to pop out, Giselle knew you were about to cum. 

She twists her wrist and points your tip far from her, preventing you from staining her clothes with your semen. Instead your load is going to stop to the ground of the rooftop, but Giselle doesn't stop moving her hands. Instead she milks you till the last drop before stopping. 

“Mmmm Ain't swallowing any shit. You need to eat more pineapple.” She says after cleaning with her tongue some drops of your semen she has between her index and thumb. 

“We can have a hawaiian pizza before I eat you out.” You say putting your shaft back on your pants.”

“God. If isn't were because I know you love fucking me I would say your taste is shit.” She answers you rolling her eyes and putting her tits inside her bra once again.  

[daisymbin]

bestfriend!vernon + epilogue

warnings: none!

pairings: vernon x afab reader

genre: best friends to lovers!!!!

wc: 1.8k

check out my masterlist! // hansol's m.list

bestfriend!vernon who you met not randomly or by friends but rather, through your mother. why you ask? because your mom & vernon's mom are best friends, so naturally, their kids have to get to know each other, their kids have to be bestfriends just like themselves. naturally vernon and you just have to get married too so that both your moms can fulfill their life long dream of being sisters, as a family. 

bestfriend!vernon who is always being the one who initiates skinship when it comes to you. he finds comfort and peace in the simple things, like hugging you, holding your hands when you're both in a crowded place or when you link your arms with his and you skip happily while walking home. 

bestfriend!vernon who stays up all night with you till the sun rises when you get nightmares and can't go back to sleep. he would talk about the most random of things to try to help you get distracted from the nightmare; which he of course succeeded in doing. on nights like this, he always makes sure to tuck you in & that you're deep in sleep. only then will he turn off the night light by your bedside table and proceed to sleep on the couch; making sure not to close the door to your room completely in case you get another nightmare & need him around. he wants to be sure he can hear you & be there for you.

bestfriend!vernon who loves loves loves movies and watching them in the cinemas, he also thinks watching movies alone in the cinema is his own way of spending ‘me’ time with himself; occasionally, you would join vernon on these movie nights in the cinema, other times, you prefer watching movies in the comfort of your own home; be it your bedroom or living room. but what vernon loves more than his solo movie dates with himself is talking about the movie afterwards and discussing them with you. vernon loves that you could also see & understand the art and depth behind those movies. he loves that he doesn't feel alone in that department. 

bestfriend!vernon who starts to ask to himself if he should tell you how he feels about you when he overhears someone from your class gushing over you as he walked past their table in the cafeteria to get to you. “are you not having anything for lunch today?” you asked as you watch him set his backpack down on the side of the table with only a juice box in his hands and sits across from you. “I'm not that hungry actually… I had a heavy breakfast. you go ahead, watching you eat will make me full.” he said cheekily. he can't possibly admit to you that hearing someone else gush over you made his stomach twist and made him lose his appetite. “really? but you should still eat something! have a bite of mine!” you raised your spoon to his mouth, “aaahhhh” you said as vernon eyes the spoon in front of him and slowly opens his mouth. he doesn't think he can stomach anything right now at the thought of possibly losing you, but how could he ever say no to you when you plead him to have a bite with your doe eyes? vernon quietly accepts his fate that he will do anything for you, even if its small things like this that you don't know about.

bestfriend!vernon who visits your family in secret on a Friday afternoon when he had no classes. “I was so happy you called, we've only ever spoken on the phone these days, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!” your mother said as she rushes to pull vernon in for a hug. “where is y/n?” she asks as she pulled away from him. “she's in class right now, she doesn't get off until 430pm today,” vernon answered with ease. “I wanted to surprise her, she told me she missed your cooking so I thought I'd come by to pick up some food you made for her to have for dinner tonight instead of the usual pizza we have on Fridays.” vernon admitted as his hands scratch the back of his head out of shyness. “that's so sweet of you vernon! I'm glad she has you by her side. you guys still keep up with your pizza Friday tradition after all these years?” your mother asks as vernon recalls all the pizza Friday nights the both of you had with both your moms right here in this house where he's now standing alone. vernon then realizes how oddly easy this is, to be in your home with your mother, just the 2 of them, as if it's so natural and how its always supposed to be. like he's a part of your family too, not just a friend. “yeah, we still eat pizzas for dinner every Friday thanks to you & my mom.” vernon answers cheekily.

bestfriend!vernon who was rendered speechless when your mother asked him “so, have you told her?” he didn't need to ask what your mother meant or what she was talking about, he knew exactly what she meant. at the young age of 8 years old, vernon had asked your mother for permission for your hand in marriage; not knowing how difficult and different things and feelings actually are when you're both older. back then, everything was simple to naive vernon, if you like someone, you tell them, you kiss them, you get married & you live happily ever after! at least that's what all the barbie movies he's watched with you has taught him. “do you think your daughter feels the same for me?” he asked hesitantly, afraid of the unknown. “that's something you should ask her, not me my dear,” your mother said as she reached out for his hand in comfort. “but what I do know is that if you never try, you will never know. do you think you can live with that? not knowing? and for how long more do you think you can stay by her side as just her friend?” your mother knows all too well how you really feel about vernon. so does his mom. the two adults are simply just watching their two kids being idiots, wondering when the two of you will finally get together. 

epilogue: 

vernon's heart feels so full & he smiles so big as he watches you down your mother's food as if you have been starved for days. “god, I really missed this so much. thank you thank you thank you I love you!” you said hurriedly as you leaned forward to kiss vernon on his forehead with your slightly greasy lips, mouth still full of food, not that vernon minded one bit. “you're the best.” you said as you sat back down to devour the food in front of you. “are you happy? are you enjoying yourself?” vernon asked as he took a sip of his apple juice, still with a big smile painted on his lips. “I'm so so happy, thank you vernon.” there your doe eyes go again, vernon feels his heart swelling up at the sight of you.

“y/n.” he said as he tried to calm his beating heart. you looked up at him in acknowledgement without verbally answering. “can I ask you something?” he asked as he picked up a tissue to wipe the side of your mouth, his face turning serious. “what is it?” you asked as you gulp down your juice. “hmm.. how do you feel about me?” your body involuntarily starts giving you hiccups as soon as your brain starts processing vernon's question. “what..what do you mean?” you asked through your hiccups. “no I mean, I just, I like you..I don't know- no no I mean I know I like you, I like you a lot no I mean I love you I just-” vernon stopped himself when he feels like mind had gone haywire, he doesn't know how to do this.

“okay..? I love you too but-” 

“no not like that. I love you as in…I want to hold your hand and i-” 

“but you already do hold my hand…well sometimes.” you say as your words deflate. 

“exactly. just sometimes. because I don't want to bother you too much with it I don't know if it irritates you or bothers you or if you're just holding my hand because I'm holding your hand and you feel like you have to.” vernon picks up the courage to look at you, trying to read your face but for the first time in his life, he can't for the life of him figure out how you're feeling right now or what you could possibly be thinking about.

“vernon what are you trying to say exactly?” you asked after what feels like an eternity of silence. 

“what I'm trying to say is…is that I want to hold your hand all the time, not just sometimes. I want to kiss you too, not just on your forehead, but also on your cheeks and maybe..on your lips too if you'd let me….okay that didn't come out the way I wanted it to but I mean I just…” vernon paused to take a deep breath before he continued, “what im trying to say is that, i love you. i'm in love with you and I want to be with you and maybe... we could end up like they do in those barbie movies we watched when we were younger. well…that is…if you like me too…?” vernon asked cautiously.

you let out a laugh that comes out sounding more like a giggle, “like you too? if i like you too? vernon, i don't know how the hell you haven't figured out how in love I am with you all these years.” only then does vernon’s body physically relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief. “does this mean you'll let me hold your hand through the entire movie later?” vernon asks as he reaches to hold your hand in his. “I'll let you hold my hand forever if you want, only if you'll let me do the same.” 

vernon doesn't think he could be any happier, or that you could be even more adorable than you already are, but he was proven wrong later that night when you fall asleep with your head on his lap drooling a little while your hand was still holding onto his tightly even in your sleep. vernon takes a picture and sends it to your mother along with the message “i told her today 🙂” his phone vibrates in his free hand with a text back from your mother reading “I always knew this day would come!” 

[callmewrinkles3]

Anti-hero - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist.

Summary: 2021 hasn't exactly been the best season, and Dan's struggling with the car not driving how he wants it to. But he didn't realise that Emmy was struggling with her own work.

Warnings: Zak Brown, McLaren era in general, smut (piv, kink behaviour (marking, domination, praise kinks, light choking, consensual pain by pinching and spanking) that are in the context of a long term already defined relationship but are not explicitly discussed on the page, fingering, teasing. They're kinky kids who love it), explicit aftercare, mentions of race crashes (Monza 2021).

Words: 11k

A/N: We're baaaaaack! This is a bit of a departure for us, and we really hope you like it. As always let us know what you think, we love hearing from you!

September 2021

Dan couldn’t admit it to anyone, but the fact that Em was travelling with him everywhere was probably the best thing in his life right then. Most of the time he was miserable and he fully admitted it. McLaren meant his days were hard, the car felt weird, and it sucked. At least in Zandvoort he’d been able to have some fun in the orange cape, cheering Max on. As much as a clusterfuck that championship battle would be a part of.

The one he’d been assured he’d be a part of next year. He didn’t fully believe Zak anymore. He wanted to but something yelled at him not to.

They were sitting in the private terminal waiting to be told the McLaren jet was ready to go, Dan watching as Em worked for the few minutes before they were called. The VIP area had become normal to him, but for her it was new. It was bright and shiny and he still remembered the first time that she said she didn’t feel like she belonged there.

They’d been in bed in Italy in 2019, flying to Monza from Belgium with Max and Christian in one of the most awkward flights of his life while Em was her usual sweet self. She’d told him that private jets were for important people and she was just Em. It led to his joke that her middle name should be Humble, not Charlotte. But she deserved the world, and the world included that she deserved to be in the jet with him and everyone else.

He loved every piece of her, wanted to tell the world that he loved her but they’d agreed to keep things to themselves. He didn’t know how much longer he could do it. They were down to days until Italy and he was going to say everything, he just had to keep it in till then. He had a plan and he was sticking to it.

He pulled out the carefully wrapped package Max had slipped him after several requests with a “Vicky said these are the best.”, smiling at the still crisp treat.

“Em, here.” He held the stroopwafel out carefully, caramel nearly dripping from the edge as she shook her head and took a sip from her Pepsi bottle. “You don’t want one?”

“I’m not a caramel fan, Danny.”

“But this whole week?” Every time someone gave him one he’d take a bite and offer her one, grinning while she smiled and took a dainty bite in between checking things on her tablet. It became easy to pass it over to her.

“You looked so happy feeding me bites, I didn’t want to break your heart by telling you I don’t like caramel. Toffee yeah, but not caramel.” She smiled at him before turning her head back to work, Dan staring at the woman he loved and her pure ridiculousness.

He watched as she stared at her tablet and frowned at it not doing what she wanted. But he wanted to curl up with her on his lap the same way they were when they flew separately. But instead they’d be separated in the luxurious white leather seats, she’d have her head buried in a book with her earplugs in and trying to ignore everyone around her. It’d be fine. It had to be. Even if they were spending it with people she didn’t feel comfortable around.

Before Dan started with the team he knew she didn’t have anything against Lando. He was a kid who’d joined the grid and was fine. Dan didn’t want to know a whole lot about him after the awkward moment of Lando’s best friend asking Em for coffee in the middle of the paddock when he was a Renault junior and Em was there as Dan’s guest. It took time for Dan to let his jealousy go and Em giggled at it, but he’d finally chilled out. Then Em couldn’t totally chill out about Lando after Monaco.

The “I’ve no sympathy for him” was burned into her brain, she’d had more than one nightmare about it. That kid who didn’t know what he was talking about, who hadn’t ever had to experience anything, saying that? He was showing how privileged he was having walked straight into a team that was expected to be at the top of the midfield. Dan had told her stories about the four day warning he had before his HRT debut, she knew how it had been for him. But Em would take anything that anyone said about her - and God knew she had this year - but if you said something about the people she loved then you were essentially invisible to her. And Lando Norris had reached the invisible stage.

She was always unfailingly polite, saying good morning and good night and making small talk as they were in the same group, but other than that it was radio silence between them. Dan had tried to convince her that it was all fine, Lando was just a kid who needed to learn, but she couldn’t let it go. Months later it was still the same.

She got on the plane just ahead of Dan, smiling at the flight attendant before taking the window seat that Dan pointed her at. He took the seat beside her, Blake and Michael slipping into the seats on the other side of the table. He watched as Lando sat in on the other side, Jon and Lando’s parents there too. Someone pulled an Uno deck out and everyone except Lando’s parents and Em started playing it.

She was sat quietly in her seat, one of the cloth bound classics he’d gotten for her birthday in her hand as she read. He could see the tiny loop of her earplugs just visible, knowing she could hear everyone but was tuning it out to concentrate and it broke his heart a little bit. He wanted to pull her onto his lap, kiss the top of her head and tell her to take a nap because he knew she’d slept badly the last few nights but he couldn’t. She’d have killed him if he tried.

Nobody in McLaren knew anything about them. He wasn’t stupid, he knew there were debates on what he and Em were, but nobody knew the truth. He’d told a mechanic on Lando’s side of the garage to shut up when he made a comment about Em’s ass before. There were rumours all around the paddock and online, he wasn’t blind, but they wouldn’t confirm what they had. He wanted to keep Em safe, and nobody being able to prove that she was the love of his life was easier. Everyone in Renault knew about them - he was convinced Cyril had deliberately started a fight so the cameras were away so he could kiss her at the Nurburgring - and even in Red Bull Christian and Simon had made jokes about Dan’s heart eyes whenever Em was at a race. But it was never public, it was always between them. And in McLaren it just didn’t feel right to tell them.

Em was having issues clicking with them, the constant “if you need an assistant” comments from Zak and Andreas just pissing him off. Em was his assistant, she did a fucking great job and she was getting no respect for it. Zak had insisted that it was teething problems and it’d be fine but it had been going on for nearly nine months now. It was like his driving style and the car, it just couldn’t click right.

So they were avoiding sharing planes whenever possible. He’d organise his own charter, or go with a different driver, or anything. They’d even gone with Fernando at one point, Nando quizzing Dan on the clusterfuck that was the Renault upper echelons while they flew. Or they’d book commercial and deal with looks and selfie requests, because even being on a plane with 150 strangers was better for her anxiety than a tiny jet with people who she didn’t like. Which made no sense to Dan because people at every other team had liked her. There was a reason that she had a standing invitation into multiple hospitality suites if she wanted it.

But they couldn’t help it going to Monza. It was the final leg of the triple header, everyone exhausted and wanting more sleep. So it was easier to say yes and go so they got to the hotel earlier and actually got some sleep. But it meant that he couldn’t cuddle her, he couldn’t even hold her hand and snuggle with her to forget the world existed. Instead she sat there curled in on herself as she was halfway through Pride and Prejudice, a frown on her face and Dan unable to kiss it away.

After a torturous half hour of flying without touching her Dan was tired of it. Friends got to be affectionate with each other, he’d hugged her in public before. He could be touchy with his best friend. He laid his hand over hers, fingers lying in the gaps. She’d put one hand on the armrest as her other hand held her tablet, half looking out the window at the dark night and half paying attention to her screen. She barely even reacted to him, just her fingers loosening and then lacing with his to squeeze for a moment. It said more to him than a thousand words could have.

He knew her well enough to know she’d be silent during the flight, but he wanted to make her smile instead of the small frown on her face. If they were alone he’d have pressed kisses across her cheeks and nose to make her laugh, asking him to stop because his stubble was scratching her. But that wasn’t an option until they were in the hotel in a few hours. The next best option was texting, watching as the notification of his text appeared on her tablet.

The sky should be really jealous.

???

Because it’s pretty outside but it’s nowhere near as pretty as you.

Cocky. Should be jealous of you though, black looks good on you.

You look better on me than black does.

You’re gonna say we can test it out when we get to the hotel, aren’t you?

U know me so well.

Nobody else noticed the tiny smile that appeared on her face, but Dan did. It was there for barely a second but it was enough. At least until he could make sure she was smiling when they were fully alone.

It wasn’t until they were in the car on the way to the hotel and away from the airport that he could hold her hand and press a kiss to her fingers. There were no questions about where anyone was sitting or who was driving, he got straight into the back seat with Emmy, gripping her hand across the middle seat.

“Can we go for pizza after we check into the hotel? I’ve been waiting for one.”

“Already thinking about pizza?” Michael asked it and Dan frowned at his tone, taking it as exhausted.

“I’m never not thinking about pizza in Monza. This pizza keeps me going through the year. Plus, I didn’t throw anyone off the plane or start an argument so I deserve it.”

“You kind of do,” Dan affirmed, lifting their joined hands to his lips to kiss her knuckles.

Emmy’s wishes were his command so if his girl wanted pizza he wasn’t saying no. The fact that her favourite pizza place was also his favourite was an extra point in their relationship. After they checked in, left their things in rooms and Dan pulled her to his room for a quickie to prove his theory of the best way he looked, they left the room to have dinner.

He loved Italy. It was his family’s country, it was the first place that he’d lived on his own in Red Bull supplied housing, he had thousands of memories there. But his favourite ones were Em in Italy with him.

She always seemed happier there, more carefree. The first time he’d brought her to Italy was that first week in Monaco, eating pasta and showing her places he loved. Even when they were busy with work at races she carried herself differently there. When they had their post Monza vacation every year she was always completely relaxed. He grinned just watching her.

He could feel her relax against him as they got out of the car a few streets away from the pizza place. It always felt like he was a little bit of a spy in a foreign land when he was in Monza, the Tifosi out in force. But she was so chilled out that she didn’t say anything when he reached for her hand and held it tightly. Any time they were in public she always gave him her Dan, we’re in public face because they didn’t need any more rumours or people on the internet asking what they were. They didn’t need more people whispering about them.

He didn’t care about it. He couldn’t care less if people talked about him, that came with the territory of his job. But he couldn’t handle people talking about Em and gossiping about her. So he tried to keep his hands from her even when he kept reaching out to take her hand walking anywhere. That night he couldn’t stay away from her and she didn’t say anything about him holding her hand walking down semi familiar streets, or his hand on her lower back as they were brought to their table, or his arm around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug. She didn’t give him a little look or a gentle nudge in the stomach, no whisper to leave her alone while they were in public. It was completely the opposite, after a sip of his beer she was fully leaned against his side and half snuggling him.

“You know what we should do?” Dan whispered in her ear, only half listening to the debate that Michael and Blake were having about the Black Widow movie.

“I’m scared but curious. Tell me,” Em answered as she ignored her lemon drink in favour of another sip from his one allowed beer before a race week fully started.

“Buy a house in Italy.” He watched as her eyes lit up and her face started to move to a grin before she forced it down.

“You’re the most ridiculous man in the world. When would you have time to spend in Italy?”

“We totally could. A cute little house, a couple of bedrooms, a garden, by one of the lakes. It’d be perfect. We should do it.”

“You’re insane.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s not!”

She was saying no but the smile she was fighting to keep off her face was enough to make Dan know it was an excellent idea. After they got engaged and found a place in London he was gonna start trying to find somewhere for them. And hopefully some kids. Showing their kids where their family was from, even if it wasn’t Sicily.

They spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing, eating pizza and joining in the conversation with their friends. Em pretended she was sticking to just soft drinks, stealing a sip from his beer every now and then as Dan winked at her and tried so hard not to kiss her wrinkled nose. The four of them walked back to their hotel as Dan forced himself not to take her hand and kiss her on the street. He had a plan and he was sticking to it. This time next week he'd be on a proper date with her, kissing her and then asking her the question that had been burning a hole in his bag since the previous Christmas. It was going to be perfect.

**

Em loved lazy Wednesdays in Italy. The fact that she'd had enough of them to know that was a magical feeling. It was the end of their triple header, just one more race to go and then they got to relax and spend a couple of days on the shores of Lake Como. Dan had taken control of booking their trip, a cute villa slightly outside the main tourist area. They spent the day relaxing for most of it. Dan had given her a list of restaurants to look at and they mapped out where they’d eat for the three days. They would have killed for longer but it just wasn’t possible in the middle of the season.

That evening was a sponsor dinner that she had to dress up for and look appropriate to be on Dan’s arm. She hated those nights with a passion. She had to be in a fancy dress and full makeup, talking to the rich men who wanted Dan at events. At least this one was for Google Italy, it was more fun than some of the other events she’d been at. A particularly boring DeWalt shoot came to mind on that.

It was Google shmoozing their own clients, using Dan and Lando to do it. Em stayed on Dan’s arm for the entire night as she smiled and shook hands. Halfway through Zak found them and stopped to talk, his own wife there with him. It was Em left with Tracy for a few moments while Zak took Dan around to speak. The two women had wine glasses in their hands and looked around the room.

“Having a good evening, Emma?” Tracy asked, Em nodding.

“It’s Em, but yeah. These events aren’t always fun but it’s nice to see Dan in his element. It’s part of the job.”

“I suppose. Not every assistant does what you do.” Em took a sip of her wine, careful not to knock the glass back like she really wanted to.

“Dan and I were friends before I started working for him. If it means that Dan can enjoy events a bit more then I don’t mind.” Tracy watched her closely for a few moments but nodded as their respective dates for the night returned.

“Sorry about that, I had to double check some things. Daniel, you’re in with Valtteri for the press conference tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I am. Should be fun. We’re gonna head off, it’s a busy day tomorrow. See you at the track?”

He took Em’s arm and pulled her along out of the room, the two of them getting into the car and heading back to their hotel. She was tired from the busy room and having to be on around people but she kept it together as they drove on. Dan held her hand on the way back, fingers locked as he pushed a kiss to them. She smiled, looking forward to getting into bed and out of the dress she was in. Even if Dan looked excellent in his suit.

She started pulling pins out of her hair to take it out of the undo she’d managed, Dan standing beside her and pulling them out too. Once they were out he started kissing along her shoulder as he pushed her dress down. Em threw her head back to give him more access before they made it to bed.

Thursdays were weird now. Instead of press conferences it was all digital, the journalists in their hotel rooms asking questions. It meant more setup meetings, more talking, more everything. She used Dan’s meetings as a way to get the weekend planned. But it didn’t seem as busy as normal. Her calendar was half empty. Again.

At Zandvoort she thought it was a mistake but it wasn’t. It didn’t feel right. Em put her worries aside, taking a deep breath as she looked. There had to be an explanation and she needed a moment.

“I’m getting a coffee, anyone want anything?” It was just her, Dan, and Blake upstairs. Michael was out doing some checks and making sure the kitchen was stocked and ready.

“Green tea please Emmy? You make it best.” She laughed at Dan’s puppy eyes, nodding as Blake gave her his order and she went down to the main hospitality area. It didn’t take long to have everything and she went to go back upstairs when a security guard stopped her.

“Sorry Miss, drivers and support only.” His arm blocked the narrow staircase and Em stared at him.

“I am support. I’m Daniel Ricciardo’s assistant, I need to get this up to him.”

“No entry.”

Em sat watching until the guard was called outside and ran upstairs, smiling and pretending it was fine. It had to be fine. There was no other option. The drinks got handed and she watched as they were getting ready until Blake’s phone chimed.

“Shit, Dan, you’ve got a sit down we’ve got to go. Did you not see it Ems?” Blake asked, Em checking.

She stared at her tablet, the realisation hitting her. She wasn’t on any of Dan’s meetings. She looked at Blake’s calendar and his filled up with meetings, things he was in. But hers had a couple of things - the press conference, the race, practices. One of the engineering meetings. A fanzone appearance. But that was it. It was empty and she hated it. Her usually perfectly colour coded calendar was mostly blank and worried her. She was getting blocked out.

“Sorry I must have missed it. My calendar hasn’t synced, I’ll sort it.” Dan and Blake left, Em sitting staring.

She didn’t know why, she didn’t know what had caused this to happen but it was. How? Dan had promised that it was in his contract that his team had full access to all of his information and everything they needed to do their jobs. But she’d missed a meeting and he was nearly late and that was supposed to be why she was there. She had to keep that going. If she didn’t then why was she there?

The evening was half a blur as the realisation she was being pushed out hit her. Security stopping her going up to Dan and Blake. The way McLaren acted in general. All of it. They were pushing her out and forcing her away and she couldn’t keep going like this. It wasn’t fair to her or to Dan if she couldn’t do her job.

“You ok?” Dan asked at dinner, watching her barely touched food.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just been a long, long day. I’m tired.”

“We can go back soon.”

When they got back to the hotel room Em curled up beside him, feeling the warmth of his body around her and the way he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before whispering goodnight. If this was her last race she was going to enjoy it.

**

Em was always the last one to get up in the morning. She was a night owl, getting up at seven because he had a race was the last thing she ever wanted to do. It was usually him waking her up with kisses and promises that he would bring her for food after that helped. Or early sleepy sex to wake her up. Both were fun for him.

But the bed was never empty at five in the morning. He could count on one hand how many times he’d woken up alone when they’d gone to bed together. The room was dark and silent, Em’s spot cold. She had to have been gone for more than a few minutes.

It took a few seconds for his vision to adjust to the quiet darkness and he slipped out of bed and searched for her. Her clothes were laid out where she’d left them the night before. Her shoes were there by the chair. She had to be either in the bathroom or the adjoining room that was hers in name only.

The worry in his gut turned to cold fear as he opened the bathroom door to discover her missing. His girl was gone and she had to be next door but why was she? What had she done to head to her room? It felt wrong. She should have been beside him. He eased open the adjoining door and spotted a ray of light spilling out from the bathroom. The fear eased. She was there, they could fix everything. It’d be fine. But her quiet sobs got louder as he padded across the carpeted floor to her. It was gut wrenching and painful and he pushed the door open to see his girl curled up on the floor beside the shower, her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried.

Em was in one of his oversized shirts - his in name only because he was pretty sure it was the shirt he’d given her over two years ago to help her sleep when he was travelling and she was still in London - hugging herself. Now that he was in the room her sobs were all encompassing and he had no idea how he didn’t hear her the second he woke up. She looked like a scared child, not the woman who shared his bed and his life and heart every day. This wasn’t the Em he knew.

She looked broken. He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms, feeling how she tensed until she realised who he was. He wanted to hold her and fight against the world, but he needed to know which of her ghosts he was going to fight that night. But it felt like this time it was a whole haunted mansion. He pushed kisses against her forehead and rocked her gently, telling her how it was gonna be ok no matter what.

“I’m right here, Emmy, I promise. Whatever’s going on we can fix it. I promise. I’ll fix it for us.”

Her tears began to ease and he could look at her face. Her eyes were swollen and red, her cheeks flushed but the rest of her face so pale. He’d never seen her this bad before. She was shaking and trying to pull herself together and he knew she wasn’t gonna have the words to discuss what caused this for a few minutes.

“When you’re ready talk to me, ok? Whatever you need. But tell me what’s wrong so we can fix this. I’m worried about you.” His thumb wiped the tears from her cheeks, but he wasn’t quick enough to get them before more came. Slowly they eased and she could take breaths without sobbing. He kept rocking her until she was ready to speak.

“You need to get ready, D.” She went to get out of his arms but he held on and waited till she looked at him with an angry pout on her lips.

“I’m not going anywhere until we talk. There is nothing more important than you, Emmy. Nothing. You’re crying in the bathroom at five in the morning and you came in here so I couldn’t hear you. What’s going on, Wrinkles? Talk to me.” He stood up still carrying her, bringing her into the main hotel room and sitting on the bed. She was playing with the hem of her shirt nervously but Dan gave her time until she was ready to speak.

“I… Dan they’re pushing me away and they’re stopping me from doing my job. And if I can’t do my job at the track then I shouldn’t be travelling so why am I even here? There’s nothing for me to be here for.” He kept his face calm as she spoke, anger filling his veins. What the fuck.

“What are you talking about, Baby?”

“They didn’t want to let me in your room today. I went down for your tea and when I went to go back upstairs they didn’t let me. I snuck past when he was distracted. It’s why it was cold.”

“Who did that?”

“Some random security guard? I’ve never seen him before, I don’t know his name. He said it was drivers and support only and I wasn’t support.”

“I’ll find out who.” Or at least Blake would. He wasn’t letting them get away with this. He couldn’t.

“Danny they’re not letting me do anything. The meeting you nearly missed wasn’t on my calendar. I’m blocked out from everything and I don’t know what to do anymore. There’s no reason for me to be here now, but I don’t want to be away from all of you. I can’t lose you, Danny. I don’t want to be stuck alone and I don’t want them to keep us apart.” He could see the worry hitting her, and he held on, kissing her forehead while rubbing her back.

“You’re not going anywhere, Emmy. You’re not gonna lose me. I’m not letting you go anywhere you don’t want to without me. You’re the one who keeps us all sane and you can’t do that if you’re at home. When did all this start, Baby?”

“Hungary? Slowly but surely. Spa it was worse and Zandvoort was bad. I didn’t know how to talk to you and Blake about it. I thought maybe I could fix it.” She looked even more nervous, jumping as his phone alarm went off in their room.

“Just my alarm, it’s alright. You did nothing wrong Baby, you hear me? Nothing at all. I’m gonna talk to Blake and we’ll fix it. I promise you, you are perfectly fine and didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Thank you.” She went to stand up but Dan squeezed her tighter before letting go, kissing her cheeks to remove the trace of tears.

“Don’t thank me. You know, right?” He squeezed her hand as she stood.

“I know.” A watery smile filled her face. “I need to get ready, I think I need a shower to fix my face before I’m in public.”

“Grab one. I’m gonna run into Blake for a couple of minutes. Are you ok if I do?”

“I’ll be in the shower, don’t worry.”

“I will anyway. I’m gonna take my phone, if you need me call me and I’ll be back in two.” He made sure she was ok before he shrugged into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He picked up his phone and key before heading out, grabbing Em’s iPad as he did. Blake was a couple of rooms away and answered the door looking tired and annoyed, hair sticking up. When he saw Dan’s face he calmed.

“What happened?”

“Inside. Now.” Blake let him in and Dan handed Em’s iPad over, her calendar open to today. There was practice and qualifying in it and that was it. He saw how Blake raised an eyebrow.

“What the fuck?”

“I heard her crying through the wall. She’s getting left out of everything.”

“I know you share a room, I’m not a fucking idiot.”

“She went back into hers.” He laid out the little information that Em had given him, comparing her calendar to Blake’s. The missing meetings, how she was kept away. Zak asking when he wanted his new assistant to start. Dan had to stay calm but Blake could be angry then.

“I’m getting a meeting before practice. She’s gonna be fine, Dan. She’s not going anywhere. We know this. It’s Em, she keeps us alive half the time. Go back, have a shower, we’ve got breakfast downstairs for eight and then we’ll go from there.”

Too much time had passed since he got up to find her, but Dan pushed himself to get ready and get his head in the game. It was going to be a busy, chaotic morning but Em came first. The four of them ate breakfast together and he watched as she barely ate her yogurt. He stood and went over to the buffet, coming back with a Nutella croissant and a hot chocolate to put in front of her. She never really ate when she was anxious so hopefully something would be better than nothing.

On the drive to the circuit he held Em’s hand. Blake drove, Michael in the front seat beside him. Nerves thrummed through his body as he linked fingers but Em kissed his hand and he relaxed. She was there. She was right there and it was all ok.

When they finally made it into the circuit Michael went to do some checks while the other three went to his driver’s room. Em sat there staring into space while Dan stretched out. Finally it was time to go down to Zak, Blake tapping his shoulder.

“Emmy we’re heading, ok? I’ll be back in a few. If you need anything call me.”

“I will.” She still looked nervous so he leaned over to peck her lips, smiling as they separated.

“It’s gonna be fine. I promised you. Focus on holiday plans, which beach are we going to first?” She smiled at him and nodded, safe in his room. Nobody was going to remove her from it, nobody was going to kick her out. She belonged there.

He went down the stair with Blake, ignoring the look that his friend gave him.

“So you and Em?”

“Nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing.”

“We’re nearly there.”

“Nearly?”

“I’m trying to make it work.”

“Mate, I’m saying this as someone who loves both of you. She loves you. Just tell her.”

“We’re nearly there.” By the time Dan spoke they were outside Zak’s office and he shook his head to end the conversation. A knock on the door and they were inside, Zak standing ready to end it.

“Guys can we talk later? I’m heading to a meeting, but after qualifying we can-“

“We’re talking now.” He sat down, watching how Zak sat too. Blake followed suit.

“What’s going on?”

“Why is Em being kept from my calendar and everything she’s supposed to be on? She’s been removed from everything. She’s not supposed to be removed. It’s in my contract. What’s going on?”

“I don’t-“

“Emma isn’t able to do her job. She’s missing things because you’ve been keeping her away from everything she needs. She needs access.” Blake took over and Dan was fine to let him, he ended it. He couldn’t keep himself calm for this. He let the words wash over him until Zak got his laptop up.

“We need to keep our information safe. Having someone not employed by McLaren affects this. It’s why we’ve been asking about getting you a new assistant.”

“And Blake has access to my calendar. He’s not employed by McLaren. I trust Em with everything, you need to trust her too.”

“Fine.”

It took another two minutes before Zak closed the laptop, looking at them. “She’s there. If we lose anything I will blame her for it.”

Dan stood and left, too angry to talk. He had to get into the car soon and he wasn’t going to let it affect him. He couldn’t. Em was most important.

Emmy was still sitting where he’d left her, staring into space. It was clear to him now how much this was affecting her, she hadn’t even opened her tablet and her makeup was heavier than he ever saw it. All he wanted to do was make it better for her and fix things. This he could fix. He could make this better for her. There wasn’t a whole lot he could always fix but this he could fix. She looked up at him when he arrived and Dan smiled.

“Check your calendar.”

It took all of ten seconds for her to see that everything was back in her calendar and he watched her relax into her seat. If Blake wasn’t there he’d have kissed her, but they both had jobs to do and practice was an hour away. It was squeezing her shoulder before he went downstairs to talk to Tom.

After practice it felt like things might go ok. He went over data and grabbed lunch before getting into a fresh race suit for qualifying. Like always Em was the last person he spoke to before he got into the car. She kissed the side of his helmet and smiled with a whispered “Go fast and be safe”.

For the first time in McLaren his qualifying felt like it went right. He got out of the car just six thousandths behind Lando. It was good. Em was grinning from the back of the garage with her headphones still on when he arrived in.

That evening as soon as he could get out he did, wanting nothing more than to get to bed. The early morning had done him in, and Em was dead on her feet. It was a quick dinner in hospitality and back to the hotel, Michael and Blake in the car with them again before going up to their rooms. He watched Emmy get changed and set out her clothes for the next day like she always did. Once they were curled up in bed he pulled her closer, desperate to hold onto her as tightly as he could.

“Apart from the obvious, how was today?” He couldn’t feel her tense up at least. That was a good sign.

“Weird. But ok. Blake was like my shadow today, I was beside him the whole day. There was a weird security guy who kept looking at us but other than that it was good.” Dan felt his stomach clench but he made himself stay calm. He’d noticed extra security but that couldn’t have been why. There was no way there was extra there for his Emmy. Not at all.

He watched her eyes close and her breathing even out, his thumb rubbing circles on her back. Three more nights after this. By this time Tuesday evening he’d have said everything, and Emmy would know all of it. The ring sitting in his bag would have a home on her finger. He had so many plans for them. He wanted to marry her over Christmas when they were in Perth, make it all official. She deserved every moment of happiness he could give her and this was the start of it.

Saturday arriving to the track was different. The security had definitely lessened, and coming in realising that it had was a kick in the teeth. But he had to concentrate and work, as much as he’d rather do anything else. Two days till they were on holiday. Two days. They could do it. He was gonna get a good result and decent points and then he and Emmy were going to Lake Como for a strictly clothing optional holiday and he couldn’t wait.

Practice was shit. There was no easy way around it, no way to make it sound better than it was. It fucking sucked and he hated that it did. He hated that every time he thought he was improving he wasn’t, that he was stuck in a tractor of a car that was worse than he was promised and maybe he’d made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn’t have left Renault, maybe he should have been in the blue and pink Alpine instead. Then the bullshit wouldn’t have happened.

The anger fuelled him as he made his way upstairs to his driver room. He was tired and pissed off and fed up. What he thought was a good decision for his career had fucked him and more importantly it had fucked Em over. He never wanted to see her like that again. Ever.

Emmy was sitting on the couch upstairs, her head jolting up as he arrived in wearing his race suit. Not even seeing her calmed him fully and he knew she could tell.

“What’s wrong?”

“Guess.” She stood up and he wrapped his arms around her, feeling himself ease up on everything. She was there and it was going to be ok.

“What do you need, Danny?”

“I don’t even know.”

“Ok, rephrase. What do you need from me? What do you need to get it out?” She leaned up and kissed him and Dan caught her lips, pushing her against the wall as they made out. She was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He could feel the way that she pushed against him, her hand gripping the back of his neck.

“I think I just need to fuck you against this wall, you know that? Make you scream and have the whole paddock know this is exactly where you belong. Right here with me. But I’ve to change and go to another fucking meeting. Much less fun than what I want.” He could see the way she shivered at his words and he completely knew if he moved his hands she’d be there with him. Instead he just watched her swallow and look up.

“I’m not saying no. I’m saying not here and now.”

“You deserve better than that.”

“Danny when we get back to the hotel I want you to push me against the wall and fuck me, understood?”

His brain short circuited. Emmy was asking him. Emmy. His Emmy who before was too afraid to tell him she hadn’t had an orgasm because when they started sleeping together she thought she’d be left high and dry without one. Asking him to fuck her exactly how she wanted with no thought for anything else? He was a lucky, lucky man.

“You are amazing.” He pecked her lips one last time before just holding her. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to say goodbye and go to engineering and stretch out and everything. He wanted to spend time with his girl away from the world. But he changed his clothes and went downstairs, kissing Em goodbye before he left.

The meeting was boring, getting told to protect Lando off the starting line, as if there was no chance he could make it off himself. He’d won seven races, he could beat Lando off the start line. Even with this car. He knew he could. Finally it was time to start stretching and getting ready, Michael holding out tennis balls and helping him prep.

“You need to concentrate, you’ve got a good chance this weekend.” His trainers words were quiet but Dan could hear the full force of what he meant in them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you need to clear your head, mate. Worrying about Em isn’t gonna change anything.”

“Oh fuck you.” He stepped back, shaking his head while flapping his arms out to loosen them. “I’m focused on driving, that’s what matters. I have a life too.”

“I’m just saying.”

The pit lane was about to open and he stepped back, staying out of the camera view. Netflix were with them that weekend to make it worse and he had to keep a smile on his face when he didn’t want to. Em was at the stairs up to his driver room, smiling at him and quickly kissing his cheek.

“Drive fast, be safe, I’ll see you at the checkered flag. You’ve got this, Danny.” He squeezed her hand before letting go, desperate for the words to be right. It was going to happen. It had to.

Going back to the garage he zipped up his suit and ignored his name being called. Nobody spoke to him until he was in the car after Em did, it was his rule. As he stepped into the car the music changed to Stayin’ Alive, Dan looking around.

“This DJ should get fucking shot though!” He called out, staring at the team. Seriously? This bullshit again. But when he put his helmet on he forced it out of his head, determined not to hear it. He was gonna do this. He was gonna qualify well.

The start felt like a dream, and the fact that he kept going even with the touch with Pierre was important. Somehow he ended up behind Max and he wasn’t sure what had happened until Tom came over the radio.

“Good job Dan, P3. Lando’s just behind and will protect.”

Monza was fun to drive. Every moment of it was fun, the swooping curves and fast flowing corners leading to the straight where he let the throttle fly. He knew he wouldn’t beat Max, but that moment going around the parabolica knowing he was third was beautiful. The screaming of the fans, Tom congratulating him in his ear, he’d fucking done it. He’d come third in the sprint and yeah maybe it wasn’t an official podium but he’d done it and he could be proud of that. He had to be.

Seeing everyone cheering for him meant everything, Em standing with Blake’s arm around her grinning and he wanted to kiss her in front of the world. She was right there but he just grinned. It was everything.

After the interviews he was on his way back to the garage when Max stopped him with a wide smile. The paddock had cleared and it wasn’t unusual for them to walk together.

“I’m going to fight you, but if you get the start I’ll hold Lewis back.” Dan stopped and stared at the younger man, raising an eyebrow.

“Max, what?”

“If you beat me. Only if, and I’m going to fight for it. But if you do I’ll hold Lewis off for you to get the win. We both know you’re good enough for it.” Max smiled and Dan replied with one, looking at his former teammate. Sometimes he regretted leaving Red Bull more than he could ever admit. It was the right move to spread his wings, but he missed the support he used to have.

“Don’t tell Christian you said that.”

“Christian would be glad if you won and I came second. Better if I win and you come second, but he still likes you. Stop by some time, Daniel. You won’t be run away unless you try to look at our data.”

“Ah Maxy, you know me too well!” He grinned and turned into his garage, immediately welcomed by applause and cheering. It had really happened, and it was glorious.

After a stupid number of meetings and discussions they were finally ready to leave. Em was tired, her feet trudging alongside him until he bent down.

“C’mon, hop up.”

“What?” She asked, Dan indicating for her to get on his back.

“The paddock is empty, nobody’s around. Piggyback to the car, c’mon.” She held on and he walked down while talking to Michael and Blake, Em pushing a kiss to the back of his neck every few steps. He knew she knew what she was doing and he squeezed the back of her thighs, making his girl tense slightly as they walked. It wasn’t long back to the hotel and heading to bed to relax. Or in his case get all of the adrenaline out of his system.

They didn’t even do the mock of having Em go into the room that was supposed to be hers, instead he pulled her into their room, bags dropped just inside the door as it was kicked shut. Em was right there with him, her arm around him until he pinned her against the bathroom door. It was his hand in her hair to pull her head back as he trailed kisses along her jaw. It held her still as his knee split her legs and ran up to push the seam of her jeans against her. She gasped into their kiss as he held onto her.

“What did I promise you I was gonna do tonight?”

“F-fuck me against the wall.” Her words were gasps as his free hand was everywhere, teasing and pinching. It was easy to get her shirt off, exposing the pretty blue sheer lace bra. He couldn’t help himself, bending down to lick at her nipple through the barely there fabric.

“Danny…please…” she groaned and he loved every noise she made. Clothes went everywhere as he lifted her up, pulling the matching underwear down and settling her onto the barely used desk. Her legs were spread as he stood between them, sucking marks into her skin while he made his way to his ultimate destination.

Any man who wouldn’t eat his girl out was a coward as far as Dan was concerned. It was one of his favourite things to do. Em’s hand running through his curls and pulling on them, his fingers and lips and tongue working to bring her to the edge. If he was feeling particularly mean he’d leave her right there for a few moments and watch his girl beg him to move.

Tonight though he wanted to ruin her. He wanted to leave her boneless and well fucked and knowing that he was the one who did this with her. He’d leave it all behind if it meant that his Emmy was happy and he was going to slowly prove that to her.

It didn’t take long for him to feel her first orgasm come up, Em grabbing his hair and biting her lip as he took his mouth away to look up at her.

“I want to hear you. I’m the one who makes you feel like this, let me hear you. C’mon.” Her moans got louder as he dove back in, his fingers hitting the spot he knew was her everything. Once he was satisfied with the hickey he’d bitten into her inner thigh Dan moved back to her clit. He kept licking at her clit while she came, desperate to taste everything he could. It was just them in that hotel room and he was desperate for everything.

When Emmy finally stopped shaking he stood up, watching how she was flushed down her chest. She was absolutely fucking perfect.

“You ok, Baby?” He asked, leaning in to kiss her and hold onto her.

“I’m good. I promise. But you promised me a wall, Mr Ricciardo. Gonna make good on your promise?” She was grinning up at him and Dan stood, pulling her off the desk and her legs wrapping around his hips. His lips met with hers as he got them to the wall, pushing Em against it to give them more support. His fingers grabbed her hips as he finally slid into her, watching as Em looked up at him with wide eyes.

“All mine, Emmy. You’re all mine and I’m gonna make sure you know it.” His hips set a blistering pace against her and he watched as her fingers slid to where they were joined, feeling the way she tightened around him as between his pace and her fingers she came to another orgasm. She was harder to hold up after this one, tiredness taking over but he needed another.

“Third place today so I want to see three orgasms. Can you do it for me? Gonna give me that third so I can see my pretty girl? You can do it Baby, I’ve got you.”

Instead of keeping her there he took steps back towards the bed, still inside Em as he set them down carefully. His girl was right there in his lap riding him and she felt so perfect. He watched her move her hips carefully, suddenly realising how hard he’d been pushing her. There was the start of marks and bruises along her boobs and stomach and Dan moved his hand away, looking at her.

“I’m good. Danny, I’m good, I promise. If I wasn’t I’d have told you to stop. But you told me you were gonna fuck me hard against the wall and I wanted it. And right now I want you to tell me what you like.”

He looked into Em’s eyes and saw the absolute truth of what she was saying, even though part of his brain didn’t fully get it. They were rough, they’d go further kink wise than they intended sometimes, but not like this much. He knew Emmy could see the unsureness in his face and he watched as she picked up his hand and put it at her neck. It was their favourite thing in bed, and he used the feeling of comfort he knew it gave her to keep going. If she wasn’t sure she’d have called red and stopped him.

“Gonna be my good girl? Gonna let me watch you ride me and put on a show? Is that what my Emmy wants to do tonight?” He didn’t have to thrust, his hand keeping Em steady and feeling her move under him. She looked so perfect like that, chest bouncing as he watched her fuck herself on him. His perfect Emmy. He was so close to blurting everything out but not now, not till they were alone. He couldn’t do it during sex, that was just cruel. He needed to do it when they had no distractions.

“Please Danny. Please. Make me feel good.”

“Such a greedy girl for me. Do you deserve another orgasm? Are you my good girl who gets another?” She nodded desperately as she bounced up and down, Dan pulling her lips closer to him.

“What are you, Emmy? Tell me and we’ll see.”

“I’m yours. All yours, Danny. You’re the only one who makes me feel this good. Please let me feel good.”

He could never deny her, pulling her in for a kiss as his fingers went straight to her clit. Between his thrusts, her bouncing, and his fingers she came in less than a minute, Dan following her straight over. He held her as aftershocks went through her body, Em’s head buried in his shoulder while he rubbed her back, unwilling to slip out of her. That meant the moment was gone and he wanted every second of it. He wanted Emmy in all the ways that he could have her. He was so fucking far gone it terrified him. But he was so blissfully happy.

Eventually they had to move, Dan pushing a soft kiss to her forehead as she lifted off him. He hurried to the bathroom to wet a cloth before coming back to clean Emmy up. She was pouting as he did and he couldn’t help but press a kiss to her to wipe it off her face before she went into the bathroom. While she was gone it was a quick call to room service for a strawberry pana cotta and a small cheesecake to be delivered. Dan slipped a robe on to answer the door, clearing their clothes away. He was delighted that he hadn’t actually ripped Em’s underwear getting them off her. One good thing.

When there was a knock on the door he answered with a smile and took the plates while giving a tip. Just as he had them settled on a table Em came out of the bathroom, showered with her hair tied up.

“You doing ok?” He asked, pulling her in for a kiss and running his hands over her.

“Yeah. I think I need some cuddles though.”

“And sugar. I got you dessert. Don’t tell anyone about my cheesecake.”

He shared his cheesecake with her and got bites in return before they curled up in bed together. He didn’t know how, but somehow she was fast asleep against him in about an hour. Emmy’s breathing evened out and he watched her sleep as the bruises he’d left on her chest were darkening. She always grinned every time she spotted a new mark he’d left on her and he hoped this time was the same. Whatever magic was there he didn’t want it to end. But sleep came calling and he had a race to drive the next day.

Em was the one who woke him up the next morning. Her kisses were nicer than his alarm clock, Dan’s hands immediately on her back and pulling her up. He heard her groan, opening his eyes to look at her.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just sore. It’s good sore, Danny. I promise.” He raised an eyebrow and she laughed. “Honestly. I’m fine. You worked me good last night and every part of it was perfect.” She leaned down to kiss him and Dan smiled into the kiss, chasing Emmy’s lips as she got up.

“You need to shower and I need to get dressed. C’mon Mister Front Row, it’s going to be great. I have faith in you.”

That was all he needed to hear to get out of bed. It was one last kiss to Em before he went into the bathroom to shower. He nearly convinced her for five more minutes of cuddling before they had to get ready but he didn’t get away with it. Instead he showered while she got ready, putting on a McLaren shirt and jeans to be dressed. Once he was done he came out to find Emmy ready to go and he stopped in his tracks.

She was in skinny jeans and vans like usual, but every single part of her dripped his. Her three necklace hanging from her neck, the earrings with three stars he bought her. Her entire outfit was clothes he’d given her as presents and he was nearly sure if he checked her underwear was too. She was a dream and did he really have to leave for the track? It’d be fine to do the race without him. Who’d care?

Instead he pulled her in for a hug and a murmured “thank you” to Em, looking as she smiled up at him.

“For what?”

“For being you and amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Walking into the circuit felt different that morning and he didn’t know why. Things were good and he was going to do his best. He was going to be on that podium no matter what. He could do it.

The time before getting in the car was a blur. He had no idea. He wanted to soak in the moments but he couldn’t, he was focusing on driving. He could drive this place blindfolded. He could do it.

Putting on his suit and boots he took a deep breath before heading downstairs. Em caught him just before he went into the garage. It was another kiss on the cheek and telling him to be fast and safe, but Dan kissed her properly for the briefest of seconds.

“You’ve got this. I’m gonna see you at that barrier.”

He walked in and picked up his balaclava to put it on before getting in the car. But before he could step in Zak caught him, an arm around his shoulder. Nobody ever did that. Emmy was the last person he talked to before he got in the car, always. She was his good luck charm. Even Michael knew not to talk to him when Em had talked to him. He’d get in and connect his earbuds for the radio and then he’d talk to Tom.

“Good luck. It’d be good to have a trophy to show around the MTC on Tuesday along with that medal, wouldn’t it?”

“Tuesday?” His blood ran cold.

“Yeah, we need to celebrate your sprint medal. Did Nicole from PR not tell you yet? Full day in the MTC then. Your calendar was empty so it looked good.”

His calendar was empty because they’d removed Em from access. Without his girl there to block the days out then its looked free. Which meant that their vacation was gone because he had to be in fucking Woking instead.

“See you at the flag!” He wanted to punch Zak’s fucking face. He was so angry he wanted to scream. But instead he got into the car, settling down and putting his helmet on and connecting it to his HANS. The radio connected in while the guys strapped him into place and he had the go ahead to bring the car to the grid. Bring it in, get out, let everything happen.

He had to blank his mind out. It’s was the visualisation crap that Michael beat into his head that he kept going with.

Finally it was the anthems and he bopped along to the Italian one, the texts of good luck from his parents floating in the back of his head.

Waiting for the lights to go out was terrifying. Seeing the five red lights made him nearly forget everything that he’d known for so long, but as soon as they blinked off he was gone. Never ask him how he made it around those first corners but pretty soon he was leading the fucking race.

It was the fastest race of his life. The only time he worried was when the safety car backed everyone up after Max and Lewis crashed, the realisation that he didn’t have Max backing things up worrying him. But he forced himself to stay calm and pushed through, Tom giving him advice on the radio. It was obvious Lando had been ordered not to attack but Dan didn’t care, too focused on making it to the flag.

“YEAH P1! You bloody did it!” Tom was celebrating over the radio, Dan screaming his lungs out. He did it. He fucking did it. Fastest lap and first place and fuck it he did it.

“Deep down I knew this was gonna come, so…thanks. Thanks for having my back. And for anyone who thought I left, I never left. Just moved aside for a while.”

Pulling into that beautiful number one podium spot felt so sweet. He won. He actually won. It took a moment to realise what was happening as he shut the car off, pulling the steering wheel out and standing atop the halo. He fucking did it.Em was there at the barrier, sandwiched between Blake and Michael and he could see tears streaming down his girl’s face in pride and he grinned behind the helmet before tapping his chest three times, watching as she realised.

The jog to the team was sweet, jumping into them in celebration. He hugged Michael and Blake before Em wrapped her arms around him. All he wanted to do was pull his helmet off and kiss her in front of everyone but that wasn’t fair. He couldn’t. So instead he let go and realised she’d been FaceTiming his parents for the race. He took off his helmet and grinned at the camera, a murmured “I love you” escaping before he got pulled back to be weighed and interviewed by DC, a grin on the Scot’s face and the promise of a drink at some point once the cameras were switched off.

He was on the podium. On the top step in Monza. He’d done that and it was a heady feeling to be back up there, the Tifosi cheering because while he might not be a Ferrari driver he was half Australian and for them that was a big moment.

The chaos of interviews and discussions and debriefs and eating were constant, he didn’t have a second to himself for hours. It wasn’t until nearly nine that they were finally done, Zak sending him away to get changed before the party that had been hastily organised for the team in celebration. He bounded up the stairs two at a time, spotting Em in the room before she’d even realised he was there. She stood, grinning and pulling him in for a kiss.

“I am so proud of you. So fucking proud of you. You did that and you proved it to everyone and you are amazing. Well done, Danny.” He pulled her for a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he got the courage to say that they had to cancel everything.

“I need to get in touch with the villa to-“

“I called them earlier to cancel. Turns out the owner is a F1 fan and had put two and two together for when you rented it and your surname. He said congratulations and to call back whenever to rent it out again, there’s no problem. And I cancelled the flight back from Milan to London on Friday. Anything else you need?”

To tell her that he’s completely in love with her. But Emmy deserved better than that. She deserved better than when he was still sweaty after a race because he’d only had a rinse off shower to get the champagne off. She deserved a big gesture, but one somewhere private because if he did it in public she’d be too embarrassed. Just because this plan was ruined didn’t mean it was all bad.

Maybe Austin, the two of them in a city they loved. They were staying back an extra night or two to enjoy it. Or at the farm over Christmas when they got to go home together. After a day of seeing their family. That would be the right way to tell Emmy everything. He’d get down on one knee in their living room with her ring and she’d say yes, he knew her.

“You know, right?” His voice was thick. The tears he wanted to let out were close but he couldn’t start crying or he wouldn’t stop.

“I know. You know too?”

“I really know. C’mon. There’s a party in a couple of hours, let’s go change and shower and maybe nap for an hour.”

He pulled a clean shirt on before picking up his bag, holding his hand out for Emmy to take. At that time of night the paddock was deserted and he didn’t care who saw. If he didn’t get to tell his girl everything this week then he definitely got to hold her fucking hand leaving. He didn't care about the McLaren cameras in his face. He'd already had to give up enough with her this weekend, they didn't get this too.

-

Taglist.

@dr3lover @sabrinaselina55 @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @lewispool @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @nonsensical-nonce @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @leslizzle @javden @mloyer @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiphobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav @neiich @luckyladycreator2 @scotlynaurora @belledawnidk

[justmeinadaze]

We're a Family Part 21 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Angsty thoughts have once again entered the chat. ENJOY!

Warnings: Dads Steddie/ Fem Mom Reader, SMUT, pegging :), dirty talk, handcuffing, FLUFF, all the love that comes along with these six and Dylan being the best big brother.

ANGST, the Munson-Harrington spouses are trying to get Ro into a good school and shenanigans ensue. Y/N's mom comes back on the scene. The main theme of this angsty reading is parents feeling like they would do anything for their kids without fully realizing what they think is best may not actually BE the best thing.

Word Count: 6695

Eddie pets your head as you, he, and Aurora sit in the lobby of the private school you were hoping to get her into to. You and Kierra had gone to schools like this growing up and you two always had fond memories of your time there. As your daughter got older they had programs that you felt like she would enjoy since she was such a creative, free spirted soul. 

Because it was a private school, however, you guys did have to take a tour, meet the faculty, and then the parents were interviewed. That’s why Steve suggested you and Eddie go alone. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if they find out about our living situation, it could…complicate things.”

“But you’re her father to, Steve.”

“That being the case, maybe you should go instead of me, Harrington.”

“No. Eddie, you agree with him?!”

“Sweetheart…”

“I wouldn’t be able to go. She doesn’t look like me. She’s your clone, Ed.”

“Baby, everything’s ok.”, Eddie tried to soothe.

“Steve should be here.”, you mumble.

“Yeah he should but Hawkins sucks, Y/N. This is just far enough outside of the city limits that they wouldn’t know about us—”

“You say that like we should be ashamed or something.”

“That’s not what I’m saying and I know you know that.”

“We raised her to understand that our relationship is okay. We shouldn’t have to fucking hide anything. Plus, you know she’s going to tell everyone. It’s not like it will be a secret for long.”

“For Aurora Munson-Harrington.”, a recruiter calls with a big smile. 

Without saying anything, you grab your purse and your daughter’s hand leaving Eddie to follow behind.

***

“Hey, how did it go?”, Steve asked as soon as everyone came back. 

“Dad, the place is BIG! And they have a lot of paints. I like school!”, Aurora shouted excitedly. 

“Oh, give it time, brat. You’ll hate it later.”, Dylan teased as he focused his eyes on the video game in front of him. 

“Ugh! Dylan, I’m na a brat! I’m a good girl.”

“Yeah, you are, princess. Hey, go watch your brother play for a little bit so we can talk.”

Steve’s gaze shifted between you two as your jaw tightened and you gripped the counter behind you. Eddie was using his serious voice and you heard it in his tone as well, preparing for the heated discussion to follow. 

As soon as she ran away, he turned to face you.

“You are extremely lucky that interview went well with your fucking attitude. I thought you wanted her to get in this school.”

“I do but—”

“But what? Because you tone and demeanor made it seem like you were completely uninterested.”

“We shouldn’t have to lie.”

“This isn’t about us, Y/N. This is about her.”

“Exactly. She doesn’t see anything wrong with having three parents. Why do we have to hide it? Me loving you two has nothing to do with her schooling or how smart our daughter is.”

“The world doesn’t work like that, honey.”, Steve sighed. “Eddie’s right. If this helps her then…we make that sacrifice. It’s a small one compared the other things and people we’ve lost.”

“Oh, ok. You’re right. Small sacrifice. So, anything school related, you’d be fine missing that, Steve? You’d be fine not attending something she’s really excited about? How would you explain that to her? ‘Sorry, baby. Dad can’t come because people can’t accept that you’re my daughter to. For the next hour, remember, it’s only daddy and mommy.’”

Steve stepped forward till his nose was almost touching your own. 

“Lower. Your. Voice.”

“Why? Am I wrong?”

“Do you really think we’re ok with this, Y/N? It fucking kills me I couldn’t go with you two today. I want to know where my daughter is going to be and that she’s safe. The three of us knew sacrifices would be made if we stayed together and stayed in Hawkins. This is one of those sacrifices and if it gets her into a good school where she can grow then so be it.”

“Dada?”

The two of you back away from each other as Aurora looks up at you with worried eyes. 

“Yes, honey. What do you need?”

“Can…Can Dylan and I have a snack?”

“Uh, not right now, baby. We’re going to have dinner in a couple of hours. Just hang on until then, ok?”

“Ok…Daddy? Did I do something bad?”

“No, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything bad. Mommy and I are just telling dad more about the school.”

“Oh. Okay. Dada, I wish you could have come.”

As she runs back to the living room both their eyes glance your way as you try to hide the frustrated tears that want to fall. 

“It’s not the same, Y/N. Just because I couldn’t be there today doesn’t mean she’s going to be heartbroken like Dylan was with Charlie. It’s not the same.”

“And we can figure out the events thing. Maybe after she gets accepted we won’t even have to worry if people find out.”, Eddie adds. 

Nodding your head, you walk away from them and close the door to the bedroom. 

***

“James, can you say Kierra? Kie—rra?”

“Ka, Ka, Ka.”, the baby babbles as he pokes at your sister’s face. 

“Yeah, that’s about right.”, she giggles from her place at the table the following afternoon. “So, I see you’re still upset.”

“How can I not be? Kierra, if I had known we would be hiding our relationship, I wouldn’t have suggested the school.”

“Wouldn’t that be selfish? I mean you guys can afford it now and it’s a really good place for Ro to grow.”

“But in the long run it would hurt her and Steve if he can’t go to events or she has to pretend only Eddie is her dad. Do you remember growing up and having to pretend that we were ‘high society’ to make our mom happy? It was fucking exhausting. I don’t want my daughter to go through that.”

The caller ID from the school pops up on your cell phone and you quickly reach over to take the call.

***

The guys had taken Aurora to the park so you could spend some time with your sister. When Dylan texted SOS to Steve’s phone, however, they quickly ran back home. 

“What’s going on, kid?”

“I don’t know but mom and aunt Kierra are outside on the porch. She got a phone call and I saw her crying.”

“Shit. Ok, here. Keep an eye on the other demons.”, Eddie tries to calm him as he ruffles Dylan hair. 

“Kierra! Stop telling me to calm down!”, you shout as they exit the back door. 

“Hey, what’s happening?”

Your sister sighs as you huff and look in the opposite direction as you dry your eyes. 

“The school called about Ro. They said they liked her and her personality but they overheard her telling the kids about her parents… Not only do they not like that you weren’t upfront but now they’re concerned about how the other parents will react if they find out. So…Aurora wasn’t accepted.”

Their eyes meet yours as your glare penetrates through their bodies. 

“We can find another school.”, Steve mumbles.

“You would know best, right?”, you retort sarcastically. “Are we going to pretend again or, oh, maybe we can mix it up this time. Maybe you and Eddie can go to the interview!”

“I’m, um, just going to check on the kids.”, Kierra murmurs awkwardly as she gets up and hurriedly heads inside. 

“So this is our fault?”, Eddie replies angrily as he lights a cigarette and leans against the porch banister. 

“If you BOTH had come with me and we were honest we could have assured them! Told them how we handle things in our town and at home. The three of us could have convinced them!”

“Yeah because we have such a good track record of doing that now.”, Steve scoffs. “Y/N, this isn’t a big deal. We can find another school if you still want to go down the private school route. If not she will be fine in public school. Dylan is.”

“Oh people say stuff about me all the time.”, Dylan adds startling everyone. 

“Jesus Christ! For real this time. You kids are going to need start wearing bells.”, Eddie pants after grabbing his chest. 

“I’m just saying. No matter where Ro goes people will talk. You told me once, mom, that you knew they would but you were willing to put up with it because you love them. I love them to so that’s why I don’t care. People can say whatever they want but it doesn’t matter.”

Steve smiles as he yanks the boy to his side for a hug. 

“Have you thought about talking to grandma? If you really want Ro in that school, she would most likely be able to sway them.”

“My mom doesn’t have that kind of sway in that area.”, he responds. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant…”, Dylan gestures towards you. “I don’t know what we call her anymore.”

“Weirdo, she’s probably the last person we should send in our honor. She doesn’t agree remember. And I swear to God Dylan Marshall if you sneak out and go talk to her I will break your legs.”

They boy chuckles at your threat as you smile softly in his direction. 

You don’t see it but the men you love exchange a look, having a silent conversation with just a glance.

##############

“Mrs. Y/L/N? You next meeting is here.”

“Ok, thank you, Debra. Send them in.” Your mother’s eyes widen with shock and confusion as Eddie and Steve enter her office. “Gentlemen. Why are you both here?”

“We’re here on behalf of our daughter and yours. Please, just listen to what we have to say and if you still want nothing to do with us or them we’ll leave quietly.”, Steve answers in an authoritative tone that has her curious. He waits for her to nod before digging into his wallet, pulling out the picture of Ro he keeps inside it, and sliding it across her desk. “Her name is Aurora.”

“I know. Y/N mentioned her name when I saw her at the bar four years ago.”, she responds softly. “She looks like you, Mr. Munson.”

“She’s a good kid. She laughs a lot, loves to draw, and is also incredibly loving. She loves to hang out with her older brother and teach her younger brother new things.” 

Eddie hands her the photo he keeps of all three kids and a small gasp leaves her lips. 

“Dylan has gotten so big…”

“Yeah. He’ll be sixteen soon. Can’t believe it’s been almost ten years since we met him and Y/N.”

Both men softly smile at the memory as her bottom lip quivers slightly while she continues examining the photo. 

“What’s the baby’s name?”

“James.”

“Yours I imagine, Mr. Harrington. He seems to have your smile…Y/N’s nose, for sure.”

Eddie and Steve glance at each other, allowing the “yours” to slide even though James is both their son. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N, last week we took our daughter to be interviewed at the school Y/N and Kierra went to. Well, Eddie and Y/N did. We…”, Steve gestured between them. “…thought it was best if they didn’t know our home life so she could get in.”

“Well, that was stupid. Knowing that school, they’d rather you tell the truth than lie.”

“Said the woman who values appearances over her family.”

“Eddie.”, Steve snaps. “Mrs. Y/L/N, she was denied but Dylan thought, maybe, there was something you could do to get them to reconsider. We haven’t told Aurora yet that she didn’t get in and all she’s been talking about is how excited she is to start school and make new friends there. If there’s anything you can do…or we can do…please. We’d do anything for our kids.”

“You remind me of my husband. He used to say the same thing all the time. One of things I always adored about him was the love he had for the girls.”

Eddie bit his lip and turned away as his knee began to bounce anxiously. Steve rests his hand on his leg, hoping your mom didn’t notice his sudden jumpiness.

“Thoughts, Mr. Munson?”

“No, ma’am.”, he sighs as he turns towards her and smiles. 

“I love them both to very much.”

“Is that why you stay away?”

“Eddie…”

“Mr. Harrington, I want to hear what he has to say.”

The metalhead sits up straighter as he fully gives her his attention. 

“She still cries over you two not being in their lives, you know? When she found out she was pregnant with Aurora she said she felt alone because she had no one to tell besides Kierra. It kills her that her father didn’t get to meet any of her children but what hurts her even more is you CHOOSE to stay away and even worse one of her kids, Dylan, is aware of that to.”

“We’re highly aware our relationship is taboo but we just want what’s best for these three.” Eddie points to the picture. “That’s why we adopted Dylan after his own biological father basically abandoned him. That’s why we worked hard to become better. I own the mechanic shop and Steve became a teacher.”

“That’s why I didn’t go to the interview.”, Steve sighed. “Even though it fucking killed me. Y/N’s afraid that Aurora will experience the same heartache Dylan did when Charlie never showed up for his games or school stuff and I assured her it’s not the same. Truth is I felt like my dad by not going. It would just destroy me if any of my kids thought for one second I didn’t care about what they’re interested in.”

Eddie reached out to rub his arm comfortingly causing Steve to flash him a small smile. 

“We’ll, um, let you get back to work. Thank you for hearing us out.”

“Mr. Harrington. Mr. Munson.” They stop as they rise and she hands them back their photos. “I never wanted my girls to struggle. Growing up in Hawkins I’m sure you’re aware that people gossip. I never wanted that for them. As parents I’m sure you also understand that…I thought I was doing the right thing… I thought if people saw them a certain way…”

“People always saw us a certain way… trailer trash and preppy rich boy. You daughter never saw that. She only ever saw Eddie and Steve. If Y/N thought the way you did she probably wouldn’t have even given us the time of day. Two random guys living across from her listening to loud metal music and working low wage jobs.”

“God Ed, I don’t even want to think about that.”, Steve sighed. 

“I’ll…I’ll see what I can do with the school but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“We understand.”

##############

“Hey, where have you two been?”, you ask from your spot at the table where you were feeding James and Aurora lunch. 

“Dada. Da. Da.”

“Look, Daddy. I drew this for you.”

“Aw, thank you, princess. Where’s Dylan?”

She points in the living room and when they look that way they see his arm lift up to lazily wave making them smile. 

“Honey, why don’t you go finish your lunch with him over there?”

“No, dada! Dylan will eat it all.”

“I will not!”

“YEAH YOU WILL!”

“Ok, ok. Just…go away so the adults can talk bad about you.” She giggles at Eddie’s joke as she grabs her plate and starts to run that way. “Slowly please.”

“What did you two do that we needed the kids to at least be out of earshot?”

“We took Dylan’s advice and went to talk to your mother.”, Steve answers calmly.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you shook your head, wiping James’s mouth before giving him more food.

“You know, the Munson-Harrington spouses really struggle with boundaries when it comes to parents.”

“She said she’d talk to them. She also agreed with you…that we all should have gone.”

“Well shit, Eddie. I guess that makes everything ok.”

“Y/N…”, Steve began with a rough tone but exhaled as he tried to control his temper. “Y/N, what do we need to do to make this better?”

“Ma, ma.”, James coos as he reaches for your hand that had been hovering with his next bite.

Shaking your head again, you put his spoon back on the plate and slid it over to Eddie. 

“Can you finish feeding him please? Thank you.”

Without saying another word, you got up and headed for the bedroom. 

#############

“Dylan, are we different?”, Aurora asks her brother from her spot on his bed.

The young boy swivels around on his gaming chair so he could give her his full attention. You had been headed up stairs to tuck her in but as soon as you heard her question, you paused and took a seat on the top step. 

“What do you mean, brat?”

“I talked to some of the kids…at the place mommy and daddy showed me…they said they only have one daddy.”

Eddie noticed you sitting and silently asked what you were doing. You motioned for him to quietly come sit beside you and he obliged. 

“Yeah, we’re a little different but that’s ok. Being different is cool. Plus, we’re all happy. Are you happy?”

“Yeah!”, she giggles making you smile. 

“Good. Now if anyone is every mean to you because we’re different, you tell me and I’ll beat ‘em up for you.”

“Dylan! No!”, she laughs harder causing Steve to poke his head around the banister. Tip toeing, he climbed to where you both were sitting and sat on the step below yours just between your legs. 

“Oh, yeah. I’ll bring James with me to.”

“No! James is too little… Dylan…why would kids be mean?”

“Because people sometimes react badly to things they don’t understand. That doesn’t make it ok but…”, he sighs. 

“A-Are kids mean to you?”

“Sometimes but it’s ok—”

“No! It’s not ok. I beat them up! Leave my bra-der alone!”

“Shhhh!”, Dylan laughs as he scoots closer to her. “That will stay between us. Mom will kill me if she found out I taught you that.”

Your head tilts as you silently nod and both men grin at your reaction. 

“I was going to say it’s ok because I have you guys now. Did you know when I was your age it was just me and mom?” He widens his eyes playfully as she does the same. “Kids at school would make fun of me because I only had a mom. That’s how I met Noah actually. He defended me.”

“I don get it. They were mean because you had no daddy an now they’re mean because we have two?”

“Weird isn’t it?” Dylan laughs making her smile. “That’s why I say, as long as you’re happy who cares what people think because, honestly, it’s way to complicated to make those other fuckers happy.”

Smacking Eddie’s shoulder, you get to your feet and casually stroll into his room. 

“I heard that. Between you and Eddie, we’ll have enough money in the swear jar to send Aurora to college and have some left-over for James.” Both kids cackle as Dylan, smacks a dollar into your hand. “Come on, little miss. It’s time for bed.”

As you lift her in your arms, both men start talking outside on the stairs loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“You know Steve, if she’s going to be starting school soon we need to get to work building that tower to lock her inside and—Oh, hey, Ro.”

“No, daddy! Dylan and mommy won’t let you. Right?”

“That’s right, my love.”, you smile as you kiss her forehead. “Who’s reading to you tonight?”

“You, mama.”

“Traitor.” She giggles at Eddie, waving her hand at them both as you carry her into her room.

***

“What are you looking at so intently?”, the metalhead asks as he steps out of the steamy bathroom drying his hair. 

“Huh? Oh, I’m looking at other school options for Rara.”

Eddie grins at Steve’s casual pronunciation of how his daughter says her name. Now that she’s gotten older, she’s gotten better at saying it correctly but occasionally he’ll still call her that making everyone beam at him. 

“You don’t have faith in her mom?”

“I just want to be prepared. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of closer options around here.”, he sighs. “My mom suggested a school they almost sent me to but she’d be living there and I’ll be damned if that’s going to happen. Plus, the tuition is insane.”

After sliding on some boxers and jumping onto the bed beside him, Eddie tenderly kissed the man’s shoulder before looking at the computer screen with him.

“Good to know you’re not one of those preppy douchebags, Harrington.”

Steve flashed him a sassy smirk leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

“That school is the only private school within a route I’m afraid.” Their eyes glance towards you as you saunter in and close the bedroom door. “Our only other options would be the one IN Hawkins downtown or driving an hour every day. Which, I mean, I’d do it for her if that’s what she wanted.”

“So, you don’t have faith in your mom either?”, Eddie sighs.

 “I actually do. Like Dylan said if anyone can change their mind it’s her. I’m just…sayin’. The only reason I know is because after he was born she thought a private school would be good for him but Charlie and I didn’t have that kind money then.” You climb up onto the bed facing them as you cross your legs. “I think it all worked out though because the classes he takes at Hawkins High he seems to like.”

Steve closes the computer and places it off to the side as they give you their full attention. 

“You hurt my feelings.”, you sigh. “I’ve never once thought about hiding our relationship to get something done.”

“That’s not true.” You glared at Eddie as he spoke. “We hid our relationship that whole first year we were together. When Steve’s dad thought you were just with him you didn’t correct him.”

“That was different.”

“How?”, Steve countered. 

“Your dad was berating you. I didn’t want to make that worse and when it came to us that first year we were afraid Charlie would use that to take Dylan.”

“So you lied for your son? Yeah… that’s what we were doing for Ro.”

“Steve should have been there…”

“Yeah, and you needed to be there for Dylan. We can play this game all day, Y/N.”, Steve argued causing you to fold your arms in frustration. “We make sacrifices for our kids. Obviously, this one was unnecessary but… we thought this is what was best.”

“So did my mother when she told us to tell people that our mom runs a ‘sophisticated company’ and our father is a ‘businessman’. My dad was a mechanic like you, Ed, and my mom IS pretty high up in the company she works for but she would make people believe she was like CEO or some shit.”, you roll your eyes. “Kierra and I had to be ‘little ladies’ which was stupid because none of the kids were proper like how she claimed. Another reason I liked it.”

Eddie reached out to caress your cheek making you smile. 

“It was exhausting. I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her or James to pretend to be people they aren’t.”

“What about Dylan?”

“Pfft, have you met our son? He’s always been himself and then some.”, you laugh. “Remember, this is the kid that stood up to your father twice and told him he was mean.”

“God, yeah. First time anyone ever stood up for me. That was also the first time he said I was his dad.”, Steve gently grinned as Eddie rubbed his back. “I hated it to, Y/N. You have no idea how much I hated not going to that interview. My dad never went or participated in anything I did…like at all. It practically killed me when she came in and said she wished I could have gone. She sounded so sad…”

“Steve, your dad didn’t go to your stuff because he was selfish. You are nothing like him. Same with Eddie. When I saw your dad…I agreed with Steve. After meeting him and your mom, I have no idea how you came out so amazing.”

“Wayne, mostly. On the outside he always seemed like a hardass but he’s a good man. Then I met Stevie here. Add you and that heathen who moved in across from us and you get the man I am today.”, Eddie beams widely making you two laugh. “Without Wayne, I’d probably be an asshole who ended up in jail to.”

“I don’t think so, babe. Your heart is too big.”

“Soooo… are we friends again?”

“Nope. I’m going to hate you forever.”, you joke with a smile.

“Mhmm.” Steve and Eddie look at each other before playfully tackling you flat to the mattress making you laugh. 

“So, if you hate us then that means you don’t want us to make love to you tonight, right? Because we can just go to bed and—”

The metalhead smiles as you cut him off with a passionate kiss.

“Is it ok…if we…”, you blush as you point towards the closet making Eddie chuckle harder at your bashfulness. 

“Still? The strap on STILL makes you all shy?”

“Eddie, don’t tease her. She’s had a rough couple of days.”

“Fiiiiiine.”, he whines as he rolls off the bed to grab the toy. 

“You know, if you’re going to be mean, I think we should use these to.”, you smirk, digging into your bed side table drawer and producing the handcuffs.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, princess.”

Steve gently pets your head and kisses your temple before tugging on Eddie’s hand, yanking him to the mattress and taking hold of his wrists. As he secures him to the headboard, the metalhead tenderly places kisses along the man’s chest making him bite his bottom lip. 

“’Bout time you had to wear these.”, he jokes as he leans down to quickly kiss the boy’s lips and climbs to the edge of the bed to help you get into your device. “You almost got it this time, baby.”

“These straps here confuse me.”

“Don’t worry, honey. I got you. We’ll always be here to take care of you.”

Cupping his cheeks in your hands, you softly kiss his lips. 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you…at both of you. I should have explained myself better.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that anymore, ok? No matter what happens we’ll figure this thing out together.”

You nod as you glance towards Eddie who smiles and nods his head as well. While Steve guides the one end of the toy inside of you sex, you groan as you cling to him, a shaky breath escaping from his as well. 

“Wow. That slid into you so easily. We haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already so wet.”

“I’m excited to use this again.”, you whisper.

“Yeah? Well, why don’t you use Eddie’s pretty little mouth and I’ll get his sexy ass ready?”

Your grin grows as you give him one more kiss and climb back onto the bed near the long-haired boy’s head. Placing the silicone near his lips, he opens his mouth, and gladly takes you in as you slowly thrust your hips forward. Hearing him groan, you glance towards his lower half, and see Steve casually stroking Eddie’s length as his teases his entrance with his tongue.

“Does that feel good, baby?”, you ask as you pull yourself away.

“Y-You have no idea. Fuck.”

Mewling at his whimpers, you thrust the toy into his mouth again as you watch Steve lift the other boy’s legs, practically folding him in half as he continues to lick inside of him while occasionally spitting into his hole and pushing it in with his fingers. 

“Shit. You two are so sexy together. I’m gonna cum.”

Continuing to pump Eddie’s cock, Steve leaned forward to capture your lips sloppily with his own as you chased your high. Panting into his mouth, your body shuddered as you came.

“Are…are you…okay?”, you coo as you back away and tilt down to move some of the metalhead’s hair out of the way. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m perfect.”, he answers in a gravely tone that has you swooning as you kiss his lips. 

“Do you want to take him or do you want me to and then you take me?” Steve chuckles lightly as he watches your breathing stutter at the second option before grabbing the lube off the nightstand and handing it to you. “Give me a minute.”

Opening his legs wide, both their mouths fall open as Steve gradually pushes his cock into the other man’s entrance, falling forward to tenderly kiss his lips. 

“Jesus, Eddie. You always feel so good, baby.” Eddie’s dick twitches at his words making the other boy smirk as he casually rolls his hips, watching as the man tugs at his restraints. “You want to touch me? Can’t you feel me already, sweetheart? Because, fuck me, I can feel every part of you.”

After placing the lube back in on the table, you gently brush some of Steve’s hair away from his eyes. 

“Are you ready?” Silently he nods and you take your place behind him, firmly taking hold of his hips. 

As you slowly push the toy into him, a moan leaves his lips that has your pussy clenching around the end inside of you. 

“How does that feel, Steve?”

Eddie’s eyes scan over the man’s features taking note of the blissed out state he was currently in. 

“She asked you something.”, he whispers causing the other man to lick his lips as he tries to form a coherent thought. 

“I…good…too good.”

Holding onto him, you pull your hips all the back before thrusting forward hard and he falls into Eddie’s neck to muffle the scream of pleasure that wanted to be heard. Working his own rhythm, as you continued to pump into him, Steve pushed back into you and down into Eddie causing you both to moan and whimper. 

“I…I’m not gonna…last long…FUCK! E-Eddie, you have to feel this.”

Steve chases his high and you pound into him, trembling as you cum. After a few more rough thrusts, he collapses on his husband’s chest as he fills him up. He mewls as you try to gently pull out of him, caressing his back as you do.

Moving out of the way, he comes up beside you and almost manically places wet kisses along your neck. 

“So fucking sexy, pretty girl. Do you need help?” After you nod, he pushes you closer to Eddie while holding his leg up by the knee. Lining you up, Steve guides you into the man underneath you.

“Oh, whoa!”, you stutter, catching your palms on Eddie’s stomach. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…”

“Eddie, baby, I’m so sorry. Y-You’re so wet. I—”

Steve’s hand lightly covered your mouth as he kissed your cheek. 

“Look at him, honey. He’s falling apart in a good way.”, he murmurs making your eyes flutter shut. Straddling Eddie’s waist, he reaches behind him, and guides his cock into his body. 

“Oh fuck y—”

Steve smiles as he cuts off the boy’s profanity. “Shhh! Baby, I know. I know it feels good. You have to be quiet though.” Eddie nods as the man lifts his hand and places them on either side him on the mattress as he bounces on top of him. “Just keep looking at me, okay?”

Your own pace began to quicken as you wrapped your arms around the man in front of you for leverage, rolling your hips hard as you slammed into him. Steve felt your forehead rest against his equally sweaty back and he reached up to rub your arms as your pace faltered before coming undone behind him. 

As he mumbled under his breath, Eddie did something he had never done before. After releasing his spend inside of the man above him, he began to softly cry like you had done a few times. 

“Eddie? Are you okay? Do you need anything?”, Steve whispered as he hovered above him. 

You had known these men almost ten years and you already knew exactly what he needed. He groaned as you pulled out of him and crawled up the bed to release him from his binds. The handcuffs clattered to the mattress as Steve quickly climbed off him and Eddie rolled on to his side, tugging you into his embrace. 

Feeling you wince, he blindly unhooked the straps on your hips and gently removed the toy before tossing it to the end of the bed. Doing what they did with you, Steve laid behind him and wrapped his strong arm around you both as he petted your hair and kissed Eddie’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes, he finally released you from his hold and kissed your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you to.”, you beam up at him. “Did that feel good?”

“So fucking good.” The metalhead grins when he hears Steve’s throaty laugh. “I’m not going to lie…I’m way to fucked out for my legs to work for a bath.”

“Well, thankfully for a bath, you sit.”

“A ha ha, Harrington. I just want to lay here and be clingy.”

“I’ll get a towel.”, the man whines as he playfully rolls his eyes. 

#############

A knock on the door the next morning startles everyone as you quickly get up to answer it. 

“Mom? Hi. How did you—”

“Wayne told me where you guys were now. I hope I’m not intruding. May I come in? I have some news.” 

“Um…”

“Hi!”, Aurora shouts as she pushes past your legs towards the front door. “I’m Aurara. It’s very nice to meet you.” She extends her little hand to your mother who grins as she shakes it. 

“Excuse me. Who invited you over here?”, you tease as your turn her towards the living room. “Go get your dads, please.” 

She giggles as she waves at your mom before doing what you ask. You gesture inside and she thanks you as she steps into your home, taking a look around. 

“I, uh, told Mr. Munson she looks exactly like him.”

“Yeah, she has his energy to.”, you reply as you lead her through the kitchen to the table. 

“We were summoned?”, Eddie jokes till he sees he sees your mom and glances towards you. “Everything ok?”

“She said she had some news.”

Her smile grows as Steve ventures in with James in his arms.

“Goodness. Seeing you two side by side, I don’t think these kids got any of your genes.”

“That’s what I keep saying but…”

“He does have your nose though which is your dad’s nose.”

“Dada.”, James coos as he pats the man’s chest.

“Is that the only word he knows?”

“Why are you here, mom? I’d rather get this out of the way and have you leave before they get attached to you. I’m not going to let you hurt them the way you did Dylan.”

Both men take a seat as Steve reaches for your hand. 

“I, um, got Aurora a second interview at that school but their stipulation is that they meet all of you. They actually said they loved her a lot. She has a bright personality and seemed eager to learn. When she talked about you three, it was nothing but positive things especially when it came to her dads. So, yeah, she hasn’t gotten approved but I think if you three go in there strong, I don’t see why they wouldn’t.”

“Thank you. We appreciate you doing that for her.”, Eddie replies. 

“How is Dylan? Is he here?”

“Not for you, he’s not.”, you growl. 

“Look, Y/N, I understand—”

“No, see the thing is you don’t understand. Our entire life you never understood what it was like to have to constantly pretend to be something you’re not. To feel like I had to lie to make you happy. I did that my entire life and the one time I did something that made ME happy you disappeared. Not only did you disappear but you sided with Steve’s asshole father and threw a tantrum around town.”

“I know how this town can be! I know that there are many people like Bill who would cause problems! When I married your father my own parents disowned me for ‘marrying trash’!”, she sighed.

“Sounds familiar.”, Eddie murmured. 

“It’s…It’s not the same.”, she stammers.

“How? When you first met them you said Eddie was trailer trash with a bad reputation because of his father and that Steve was lazy and immature. Charlie was a cheating, dead beat dad but somehow these two were worse.”

Tiny fingers touch your face and you turn to see James’s big honey brown eyes scan you over.

“Ma… mama.”

Falling into your arms, he wraps his little limbs around your neck before leaning back to make small kissing motions on your nose till you can’t help but laugh.

“James, my love. You are getting slobber all over mommy’s face.”

“Y/N…I’d like to try… with you and Kierra.”

Situating your son, your eyes lock with hers. 

“Can you accept my relationship with these two?”

Her gaze shifts between them both as they sit up straighter.

“We’re not Charlie, Allen, or Bill. We love her and those kids and we’re not going anywhere.”, Steve affirms. 

Your mom Spidey sense tingles as you turn towards the stairs. 

“Weirdo, may as well add your two cents.”

Dylan comes into view and places himself beside Eddie. 

“We’re a family.”, he shrugs. “I think I speak for my mom as well when I say we’re a lot happier as Munson-Harrington’s then we ever were as anything else.”

The metalhead circled his arm around his son’s waist as the boy pats his shoulder. Aurora skids into the room and places a piece of paper on the table in front of your mother. 

“Here you go! I drew this for you. I hope you like it.”, she blushes. As she turns to run back into the living room she hits Dylan’s hip who promptly turns to run after her. 

Your mom softly smiles as she looks at picture your daughter drew. 

“Next weekend, after the interview, maybe the six of you could come by and tell me how it went… you, your children, and your husbands.”

After walking her out, you ask Dylan to watch the kids so you can make lunch. 

“I’m going to freshen up real quick. Please for the love God, be nice to each other.”

“No promises.”, you son jokes as he pokes his sister’s side making her laugh. 

Both men follow you into the bedroom and as soon as the door closes, you fold into Steve’s chest and let go.

“It’s ok, honey. Everything’s ok.”

“This is a good thing, sweetheart, and hey this doesn’t absolve her off the past five years but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“Oh, baby, did you hear that? Eddie’s breaking out the big words.” They smile when you laugh. “He’s right though. If you still decide you don’t want a relationship with her that’s alright. The kids still have Wayne and my mom.”

“Which reminds me, I need to scold my uncle. He didn’t warn us or nothing!”

Releasing Steve from your grasp, you turn to cling to Eddie.

“I never thought I’d ever hear her acknowledge you two that way. I love you both so much.”

The sound of Dylan calling out to his brother followed by James crying pulls you three apart as you sigh. Eddie kisses your lips before Steve does the same. 

“We love you to, Y/N.”

################

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @nailbatanddungeon

@dad-steddie @manda-panda-monium @alligator-person

@decadentwombatmiracle @katie-tibo @marsupiooo

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@moviefreak1205 @waylandmorgernsternherondal-blog

@kik51199 @strngrlytn @idkidknemore @damon-loves-pie

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@munsonzzgf @munsonmoonshine86

[petertingle-yipyip]

BIGGER PERSON - BILLY RUSSO

Pairing: billy x castle!reader (established relationship)

Word Count: 1,741

Summary: When Frank’s sister finds out that a) her brother’s alive and b) her boyfriend is supposed to kill him, the conversation quickly turns bad.

Your brother, Frank Castle.

Months had passed and his death still didn’t feel real. You had seen the headstone, found a church that was willing to give the infamous Punisher his last rites. Even though Frank didn’t really care for religion towards the end of his life, your parents would’ve wanted it done so you made sure of it. You sent them the blessed crucifix from the private ritual.

You were frozen in place as the news story played out on your TV. The job Billy was working for the senator, the one he claimed was to protect from the unknown bomber, was also intended to protect him from Frank. Frank, the alleged accomplice to the bomber, was being framed - yet again - as public enemy number one.

You paused the screen when the channel was playing video from a cop car that very clearly showed your brother’s face and pulled your phone to text Billy. But as your finger was finding the conversation, you realized he would very likely lie to you again. He lied about the job to begin with, so why would he owe you an honest answer now.

So instead, you paced your living room until he finally made it home.

When you heard the door open, your grip tightened on the remote and you felt the urge to throw it. Either at Billy or close to it, you didn’t care, but you refrained from either. He walked in and said his usual greeting, moving in to kiss your cheek but you shoved him off.

“Tell me you didn’t know.” You said tightly, hoping the anger in your stare was enough to burn him.

“What do you mean?” He asked, a slight nervous chuckle pairing with the words.

“The bombings. All of it is being blamed on Frank.” You continued.

“Frank?” His brows furrowed and you had the urge to shove him again.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.”

“No, I- I’m not.” His hands went up in surrender. “I want to finish this discussion, really. But honestly, baby, I’m too damn tired. Can it wait till later?”

“So my brother is alive and I find out by chance from some news story and you want to talk about it later?” You said angrily, gesturing to the paused screen that still displayed the photo captured from a police car’s dash cam.

“Can we not do this, Y/N?” Billy sighed and dropped on the couch, covering his eyes.

“No, I think we should.” You snapped. “That is my brother, Billy. If there was even a rumor that he was still alive, you should’ve told me!”

“It was just a rumor.” He enunciated, still not looking at you. “I hadn’t heard from him so how was I supposed to know it was true?”

“You still should’ve told me!”

“I’m sorry!” He shouted, standing suddenly and. pausing you to take a small step back. “What am I supposed to do about it now? What- What- What do you want from me?”

“Jesus.” You sighed and put your hands up in surrender. “Nevermind. It’s just my brother, right? Who cares? Not like I had a right to know but hey.”

You stormed off to the bedroom and ignored Billy’s muttering as you left. You didn’t even need Billy to confess that he knew or that he was helping Frank hide. All you wanted was an honest apology, but he couldn’t even do that.

The days went on and you still said very little to Billy. You still did your usual routine, breakfast and coffee ready before he went to work. Dinner either on the way or finishing on the stove when he got home. But outside of that, or answering a direct question he asked, you were busy with a book or a new TV show. Anything really that meant you didn’t have to say anything to him.

It was right before his TV interview about the attack on Senator Ori at the hotel, which they were attributing to Frank. He had came out and asked if his tie looked okay and you said “Sure, it’s fine” without facing him.

“Jesus, Y/N/N. How long you gonna act like this?” He complained.

“I shouldn’t have to be the bigger person.” You spat back, still keeping your back to him. “I shouldn’t have to bend to keep us on track. Let me ask you this, Bill. That guy with the- the eye thing. He having you go after Frankie?”

“Y/N…”

“I swear to God I will walk out that door.” You threatened and turned to face him. You watched his eyes dart between yours as he took in your expression. “Everything you’ve been doing lately, was it all about Frank?”

“Yeah...”

“Catching him?”

“Yeah…”

“Killing him?”

You didn’t even know how you managed to get that question out but you did. It felt as if your throat had tightened and the three short syllables were rung out of your voice box like water out of a towel.

“Yeah…” He answered, voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart grew heavy in your chest and it nearly felt

like it had stopped beating.

“And you wonder why I’m pissed off.” You said flatly, pushing past  and leaving him behind you.

“Baby, it's just business, alright? Nothing personal.”

“It should be personal!” You turned and shouted. “That’s my goddamn brother!”

“You want me to apologize for doing my job?” He asked sharply.

“Yes!” You threw your arms forward. “Apologize for trying to kill my brother!”

“It’s my job!”

“Well excuse me for thinking you cared about me more than a fucking paycheck.” You put hands up in surrender and turned away, back into the kitchen.

“C’mon, babe.” He sighed, hurrying after you. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s always up to me, even when it shouldn’t be.” You complained. “You want me to take the blame for a fight and I do. I do because I love you and I always think it’ll be the last time.”

“Y/N…” He said your name softly, confused even. As if he had barely realized what the routine with you had become.

Argue about something, sometimes petty and sometimes not. Then you’ll make up when you apologize, but nothing changes. It was a vicious cycle that Billy was completely oblivious to, until now.

“I think that maybe next time you’ll be the bigger person cause I’m sick and tired of carrying the burden of every argument.” You shrugged, tears forming in your eyes that you ignored. “Keep moving my boundaries so you don’t cross lines, keep quiet when you yell. All cause I thought I had to to make it last between us.”

“I… I didn’t realize.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He took a moment to think over his next words. It felt like a very defining moment for your relationship. He never meant to make you feel that way, and knowing he had was arguably the worst pain he’d ever felt. How did he not notice? How could he do that to you?

“Tell me how to make this right.” He said softly, gently reaching to take your hand. You looked up at him while you let your hand sit in his. He looked at you with wide, soft eyes that were begging for forgiveness. “I’ll do anything.”

“You think it’s that easy?” You countered with a small challenge. “Billy, you’ve been hunting down my brother for a man who doesn’t care about you. That guy will throw you under the bus as soon as he needs to, just like everyone else. But my brother? You know damn well Frank would’ve done anything to protect you. He never would’ve don’t this to you.”

“No… He would’ve.”

“Why?” 

He looked towards the ceiling and sighed heavily. Your stomach felt tight and your blood ran warm with anticipation while you took a step back, taking your hand away from his.

“What did you do?” You urged.

“The carousel.” He began and that knot in your stomach grew tighter.

“You were there?”

“No.” He looked back to you, a silent plea in his expression. To hear him out, to believe him, to forgive him. “No, I wasn’t, I swear.”

“You didn’t shoot him? Or Maria? Or the kids?”

“No, I wouldn’t do it.” He shook his head and you could’ve sworn you saw tears in his eyes. “I said no.”

You were quiet as things began to click and you knew it reflected in your eyes as Billy’s expression changed.

“But you knew… You knew they were coming after my brother and that’s why we went out instead of me going with them.” You realized and the thick weight of betrayal slammed into your chest so hard you thought the bones would break. “How fucking dare you stand in front of me.”

“No, Y/N, please. Let me-“

“Let you what?” You cut in sharply and your hands tightened into fists at your side. “Let you explain? What is there to explain when you just admitted to knowing that your worthless fucking friends were gonna kill my family and you did nothing?” Your voice grew to a scream as you rambled.

His eyes shot to your hands and he took a step back from you.

“My niece and nephew, Billy!” You shouted. “They were kids! And Maria, she loved you. And you just let it happen.”

“I couldn’t do anything.” He spoke quietly.

“You’re kidding, right?” You laughed in disbelief. “You could’ve warned him!”

“He wouldn’t have believed me!” He reasoned.

“Y’know what.” You took a deep breath. “Just get out.”

“Y/N..”

“Aren’t you late for your interview?”

He opened his mouth to speak but the glare you gave him kept him quiet. Instead, he collected his things and went to leave.

“I didn’t want all this.” He called from the door. “It wasn’t supposed to end up this way.”

“Yeah, you worked so hard to keep it from me.” You countered. “Good luck when Frank finds out.”

The door closed soon after and you found your phone. You scrolled your contacts until Karen’s name popped up. You had met the woman when her friends were defending Frank in court and you two had stayed decent friends. You texted and said you had seen the news about Frank and asked if she could help you get in touch with him.

karen (lawyer): just put flowers in the window

[sweetsdereese]

Everything Is Way Too Loud

summary: The story around Jason's sensitivity to sound

warnings: bad mentor, chronic pain, bad views on how to deal with such pains, toxic expectations set in by said mentor

genre: slight angst, hurt/comfort

word count: 774

requested tag: @erosjournal

mentions: Inspired by a conversation had with @erosjournal

               Jason, for as long as he can remember, has been sensitive to sound. The earliest being these distant, fuzzy memories of crying in a run-down living room with the radio on in the background and a little girl trying to soothe him. It hadn’t been so bad or at least noticeable when he had been in the wolf house or his first months in the legion. While the legion is amazing, it is anything but quiet.

               He had truly noticed this sensitivity to loud sounds after a training session where they’d been yelled at for hours. He’d been left with aching ears, a headache, and an irritating ringing sound in his ears that stuck with him through dinner into the night. Jason had initially shrugged it off, if he adjusted to the training schedule and the yelling that it’ll go away. The flinching went away so this will too… right?

               ‘Toughening’ through it for around a year before he confided in one of his mentors about the pain. Where he had been hoping for guidance and aid, he had instead been met with dismissiveness and disapproval for this ‘weakness’. This solidified in Jason’s mind that he was just being weak and since others must be going through this too surely, he, the son of Jupiter, could bear through it too.

That’s how he lived for years, going through training then dealing with various matters brought on by his roles as praetor, centurion, and as the son of Jupiter. Ending his days by curling up in bed with his head under his pillow and blanket. He was thankful when the pain lessoned by the time he reached his young adulthood as he got used to it, only noticing it on truly noisy days. It had been his normal till one day he woke up on a bus with no memories of his past and the pain returned with a vengeance.

Jason didn’t know why he was experiencing this almost excruciating pain. He did know though that he couldn’t tell his friends if the wave of shame that came over him at the mere thought of doing so was anything to go by. He bore through it, hiding the trembling in his hands from them as they journeyed to Camp Half-Blood. Unknowing that he’d find relief for this pain there.

Stunned was an understatement for how Jason felt when he stepped into cabin 1 and the pain disappeared the moment the heavy doors shut behind him. While he wasn’t at all avoidant of any camp activities or chores, Jason found himself spending an increasing amount of time in his cabin.

It came to a head when Chiron pulled him aside to talk as they took a stroll through camp. They discussed Jason’s adjustment to life in camp and of his amnesia before Chiron finally broached the topic.

“Jason, I have noticed that as of late you have been spending an increasing amount of time in your cabin. This isn’t a bad thing, but you seem to typically enjoy spending time amongst your peers. Is there something a matter?” Chiron questioned. “No, nothing is wrong, its just a personal matter sir.” Jason assured, not having wanted to make the centaur worry. “You know you can tell me of your issues, it’ll stay between us” Chiron offered, having already noticed Jason’s tendency to bottle his feelings. “It’s a trivial thing sir… just bad headaches” Jason semi admitted to him. “The infirmary should be able to help treat this; we can head over there if you’d like?” Chiron lightly suggested. “If you think I should sir...” Jason said, trying to hide his apprehension.

They headed over towards the infirmary, Chiron managed to pull Will aside to give Jason a checkup. Having sat on a stool for a couple minutes as Will looked him over before heading into the makeshift pharmacy then into the supply closet before he returned to Jason.

“Seems that you’re actually sensitive to the electrical things such as the electrical impulses within people and it likely got worse when you were in the city due to all the devices.” Will explained to Jason.

Will handed him what seemed to be a pair of headphones and a note.

“Here, noise cancelling headphones and a prescription for when the headaches return. Getting a hang of this aspect of your electric powers should make the headaches go away” Will explained.

“Thank you, Will and Mr. Chiron,” Jason said gratefully.

As he left the infirmary, Jason ran his fingers over the band of the headphones as he finally had a clear path before him to finally get rid of this pain.

[thenightfolknetwork]

I’ve been with my fiancé for over 8 years now. We’ve been friends for even longer and just last summer we had been planning our wedding ceremony. Now, his family hadn’t been the best supportively, not when he came out as gay, and especially not when he, a Sapio, started dating me, a giant. They then effectively disowned him after we announced our engagement. I think they might have had some weird hope he’d ’change his mind’ or that it was a ‘phase’. This was about 3 years ago now, and I can’t speak for my partner, but he admitted though it hurt, he was relieved to be away from them after all the abuse.

Anyway, the reason for this letter is about 7 months ago we had gotten word that his family had been in a serious accident and that his parents, sister and her husband had passed away and he was listed as next-of-kin and subsequently guardian for his 4 year old nephew.

Now, we never really talked about kids beyond some vague idea. But my partner wasn’t going to turn away the kid, nor did I expect him to. So, after the funeral service and sorting with social services, we brought his nephew home.

It has been an adjustment for all of us, getting used to having a kid around and him being in a new environment that’s more geared for my size honestly. and we’ve been trying to find a good child psychologist for him. but the main problem is… well, he’s afraid of me.

I can’t really blame him for that, after everything he went through, but it still hurts sometimes when he flinches when I enter a room or speak to him. Or how he looks ready to cry when I open my mouth. Even trying to hide when he sees me just reading a book. I’ve grown up in a mixed community, but the way the kid looks at me, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like a monster.

My partner has told me once when we were in bed that his ‘family’ had been filling the kid’s head with anti-nightfolk ideologies and even some rather… well, blood-libel comments. I think he was trying to comfort me as he noticed the way the kid had been a lot more skittish with me than with him. He has been trying to explain that a lot of the stuff his folks talked about was lies and really bad stuff, but it’s hard unlearning these sort of things. I had suggested we postpone the wedding, at least till things settle.

I have been trying to seem less ‘intimidating’, not smiling with my fangs and trying to look smaller than I really am. But I’m worried he might never not be afraid of me. And I never told my partner, but I’m afraid that he will be forced to pick between me and the kid, and I don’t want him to do that as I know either option will hurt him.

So I’m asking. Is there anything I can do to try and help seem less… monstrous to my nephew?

I'm afraid there are no quick fixes here, reader. Your nephew has been exposed to some seriously toxic ideologies from a very early age. That isn't the sort of thing you can fix over night.

I would caution against trying too hard to diminish yourself or your creaturely traits as part of this process. You want your nephew to be comfortable with you, not with a nervous caricature of yourself.

Instead, I encourage you to behave at home as normally as you can, being as friendly as he'll allow you to be and respecting his boundaries when he expresses them.

If you haven't already, talk to your partner about what your strategies are going to be to improve the situation. This is a long-term project that needs complete buy-in from both of you to succeed.

As much as possible, your partner should be exposing your nephew to the idea of difference, teaching him that it's OK to notice that other people are different than him, but that he still needs to treat them with kindness and respect.

There are so many more resources available today to help children learn about these matters, from books and films to websites dedicated to help you discuss these issues in an age-appropriate way.

Books like Paws, Claws and More, What's for Lunch? and My Daddy's A Mummy are a great way to start these conversations and to help introduce your nephew to these ideas in a way that is accessible for him. Talk to your local librarian for more recommendations.

The best way for him to learn to trust you is through spending time with you, drowning out the hateful ideas he's been taught through real, lived experience of being safe and happy in the company of people in the community. Make sure to set time aside for all three of you to spend time together, doing activities your nephew will enjoy.

Of course, his exposure to the creature community shouldn't start and end with you. If you can, consider getting him involved in mixed genus groups where he can meet liminal children his own age. It might be a bit of an adjustment for him, but it will a huge boon to him in the long run.

Finally, please consider seeking out some additional support for yourself during this process. This is a difficult, highly emotional situation, and you need to find people who you can talk to about it beyond your partner, whether that's to talk through possible solutions or just to vent occasionally.

Fortunately, reader, if there's one thing children are built for, it's learning. It will take time and emotional commitment, but with a little effort, I think you and your partner will be able to teach your nephew a kinder way of looking at the world.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[papabearbobbynash]

Hi,

Do you think there should be more love shown to Bobby when he was in a coma? I mean when Buck was in a coma even May, Athena, and Chris was there. Everyone came to see Buck. But when Bobby was in a coma no one wait beside him only Athena? It would be great if May continue telling Bobby she loves him like when she told Bobby when Buck was in a coma. Maybe that would be the push for Bobby to wake up. His (step) daughter asking him to come back home to their family. What if there was an interaction between Buck and May beside his bed and them discussing that Bobby is basically their dad. Even Harry, remember when Michael was asking the family about proposing to David, Harry said that he now had 3 dads so Harry sees Bobby as his father too. Have the kids interact with each other would be great. Since Bobby's main guilt is about losing his kids. It would shown that in this life he has kids too though not his biologicaly. Maddie and Karen were not in the hospital. It seems like nobody cares about Bobby even though Bobby has always been the anchor to them. It's sad actually. Instead of the date with Tommy, Tommy could've supported Buck by showing up in the hospital.

Hi

there were many questionable decisions on this episode regarding Bobby and I definitely think the biggest problem was the lack of emotion of a dramatic situation they build up for three weeks.

They promoted the hell out of Bobby being in danger in this finale and when it reached the moment for them to gut wreck us, they cut most part of it (Athena in his bedside almost crying, Eddie praying on his bedside while Buck looks almost catatonic). Not to count the complete wtf decisions regarding it other decisions, such as May and Harry not being there for the painful part? When the actors are in the episode and we know it's hard for Corinne to be on the episodes due schedule with her college? Not a single solo scene with any of the 118 who lost their shit before for way lighter injuries Bobby had? Buck "almost lost my dad" thought turning into a sexual joke? Really??

The fact Athena was out hunting whoever done it, I get it, because i expected it end on that. People who expected Athena to do different don't know her character well tbh. The moment she heard from the doctors that Bobby's heart stopped for 14 minutes, she already lost hope, she thought he wasn't waking up from that, and she had lost him. With that? She wouldn't sit there and watch him die for nothing, because in her mind this wouldn't do anything good for Bobby. She already went through that with Emmet and she definitly wouldn't wait 30 years to catch the culprit. This time she had to do something even though it's completely a bad call from her part, because its mostly a coping mechanism to shield her from the pain she is feeling while trying to compensate for the guilt (into believing Amir was the culprit when she invited him in their house + her last words for her husband being on a argument) and to mask her pain. So this part i get it, even if her ways of doing it are definitely not the best to watch. From Athena's part i think we got enough emotion, even if misdirected, however it could have been better. (Forever mourning the promo scene not making to the final cut)

Overall I don't think they made Bobby unimportant (Considering the "goodbye montage" makes it clear he is that much important even if himself doesn't see it). The problem of the whole hospital moments is they writing ooc scenes that don't feel genuinely the character we've watched so far (except for Athena, personally she was totally in character) in the middle of a rushed episode that did not need to be rushed.

Heck they could have left Bobby's life hanging till the premiere. They had the perfect chance of a wrecking cliffhanger if that is what they wanted. They didn't need to worry about being cancelled with such an unfinished story line.

It would stress the hell out of me, but would have killed as a starting anchor to the next season, because it's literally an emotional disaster for the team. It would also allow certain breath in the finale for Athena's character, May and Harry presence could be more meaningful and not only after the turmoil and we could have scenes with the team and Bobby as well.

Instead we got that.. Anyway, it had some bathena moments, but this was underwhelming after all that build up. And i definitely think this episode should have been more emotional. Like allow the audience to feel the pain of the situation before rush to solve it?

Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the venting.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough, Ch 3

❤️❤️HENRY TILNEY HAS ARRIVED!❤️❤️

The master of the ceremonies, Mr. King, who introduces Henry Tilney and Catherine Morland is one of the two real people mentioned as characters in Austen's novels (the other being Humphrey Repton in Mansfield Park, a real famous landscaper). Mr. King was retired by the time of publication.

I love Henry's description:

He seemed to be about four or five and twenty, was rather tall, had a pleasing countenance, a very intelligent and lively eye, and, if not quite handsome, was very near it. His address was good, and Catherine felt herself in high luck.

Ah, he is well matched with "almost pretty" Catherine Morland.

Henry Tilney is a lot like a male Elizabeth Bennet, "there was an archness and pleasantry in his manner" and "there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner" (Pride & Prejudice, Ch 10) sound very similar. We also have the descriptions of their eyes being intelligent.

Now because I believe in Henry Tilney Supremacy, let me point out that Henry went to a ball where he didn't know anyone and instead of making everyone else uncomfortable (DARCY!) or just not going and doing his business (Knightley), he uses of the Master of Ceremonies to get a partner and then is just delightful. Darcy begins with insulting Elizabeth and Henry begins by being utterly charming. Just the best guy.

He starts with a hilarious bit, and while Catherine isn't sure if she's allowed to laugh, she's clearly enjoying herself. Then Tilney offers two opposing things for her to write in her journal:

Friday, went to the Lower Rooms; wore my sprigged muslin robe with blue trimmings—plain black shoes—appeared to much advantage; but was strangely harassed by a queer, half-witted man, who would make me dance with him, and distressed me by his nonsense.

or

I danced with a very agreeable young man, introduced by Mr. King; had a great deal of conversation with him—seems a most extraordinary genius—hope I may know more of him. That, madam, is what I wish you to say.

Clearly the second passage is what Catherine would actually write, though maybe not that Tilney was an extraordinary genius. She is having a very good time.

Then they discuss if women or men write better letters. Catherine is unsure that women are superior, and after some gentle teasing Henry basically agrees and says this lovely progressive opinion:

"I should no more lay it down as a general rule that women write better letters than men, than that they sing better duets, or draw better landscapes. In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes."

And then we get to Henry's most famous attribute, he understands muslins!

Catherine is a bit confused by Henry's behaviour, but she does like it (and him). However, we again have some Elizabeth Bennet vibes with this observation, "Mr. Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said; and she kept him on the subject of muslins till the dancing recommenced. Catherine feared, as she listened to their discourse, that he indulged himself a little too much with the foibles of others"

There are many who think Catherine is too unintelligent to be paired with Henry Tilney, but he clearly has more respect for her than Mrs. Allen, who we are told has, "a trifling turn of mind". She is catching more of his jokes than her chaperone.

She has detected a flaw in Mr. Tilney! (This will apparently be very much forgotten later). Catherine also tells something of a lie, but then is immediately honest about it:

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of anything.” “That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that you will not tell me.” “Well then, I will not.”

The narrator then points out that it is very bad for a heroine to think fondly of a man before he is known to love her. This is a reference to a ridiculous letter in The Rambler, where it is written: That a young lady should be in love, and the love of the young gentleman undeclared, is an heterodoxy which prudence, and even policy, must not allow. It's pretty nuts, read the whole thing if you are curious.

And we see proof of Mr. Allen's sensibleness, he quickly inquire into Mr. Tilney and finds him to be from a good family and a clergyman. Catherine is being well cared for!

[countrymusiclover]

9 - The Language of Desire

Part 10

The Last Velaryon

I have not abandoned this story my readers. Here’s a long awaited update from me. Tag list @rise-my-angel @cdragons

“Nyke Haelesa hen lentor Velaryon. Tala hen prince naejot Driftmark Monterys Velaryon. ( I am Haelesa Velaryon. Daughter of the heir to Driftmark Monterys Velaryon).”  I paced back and forth in front of my father who was seated in the throne with our house sigal carved into the back of it. 

He ran a hand over his chin raising his hand at me. “Repeat it again.”

“Nyke Haelesa hen lentor Velaryon. Tala hen prince naejot - this is stupid, father. No one else in the realm that knows old Valyrian language is alive. So why must I pour my heart into the language?” Throwing my arms away from my sides I huffed in frustration at him. 

If I was anyone else he would have said that I should learn some respect knowing you shouldn’t speak to a Lord that way. But I was the only one who could do the opposite. “Haelesa, you are the face of this house. Especially after everything came to the surface about your brother.” 

Slumping my shoulders I sighed at his words. “I know it’s for the good of our house.” 

“Then you understand why I am training like you are the heir I never got to have.” He rose from his chair coming to stand in front of me. “You may have been born a woman but you have the spirit and blood of a noble man coursing through your veins.” 

With no motherly figure in my life I suppose I did appreciate all the unladylike things he had taught me. “I understand, father. It just gets tiresome after a while.” 

“I know my sweet girl. I'm sorry. Just trust me when I say this will pay off in the long run.” He puts his hands on my shoulders before I embrace him in a hug. It was all up to me for our House to survive. 

Drawing open a book that I had kept hidden inside of my cloak when we were captured by Stark soldiers. Footsteps approached me yet I didn’t notice their presence until the person spoke, the voice belonging to Robb. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Shouldn’t you be attending your war meeting and focusing your attention on defeating the Lannisters instead of searching for me.” I lifted my head up from the book. 

Robb responded, meeting my gaze. “The meeting was short, especially when I noticed your absence.” 

“A lady should not concern herself with the art of war," I've been told by Chezney’s mother.” I mimicked her very proper voice as best as I could. 

Robb smiled at me. “From what I gather you’d rather be the opposite of the proper lady.” 

“That’s true, yes.” I clicked my tongue, putting my attention back on the book. “I must do what is right for the sake of my dying house.” 

Robb stepped closer to the young girl eyeing the book pages that I was so invested in. He couldn’t quite understand what the language was but he was impressed that she seemed to. “What language are you so invested in, my lady?” 

“Old Velaryon. The language of my house and the members of House Targaryen. The language is now dead since most who spoke it are now passed. But my father still taught each of his children it.” 

Robb gestures with his extended hand down to me. “Hmm would you care to share some of the language with me?”

“Of course. Just not out in the open. I don’t want your men to think I am someone who can’t be trusted because I speak an unknown language around here. They already don’t trust me and Chezney being here.”  

Robb tilted his head to the side still holding his hand out till he could pull me up to stand. “Then let’s go somewhere more privately and discuss it. I've been wanting to take a walk to clear my head anyhow.” Together we walked out of the camp area and kept going forward in a comfortable silence that I didn't believe I ever felt around Jaime Lannister. 

The wind blew my hair in front of my face till I tucked it behind my ear. “So what do you want to discuss in the book?” 

“How about we start with the basics. Like just saying our names and house introductions.” Robb offers tapping the edge of the book in my arms. “Then maybe later on you can teach me the more complicated stuff.”

I nod my head in agreement, beginning to flip through a couple of pages. “I think that’s a good plan. So it would be - Issa brozi iksos haelesa hen lentor velaryon.” ( my name is Haelesa Velaryon )

“Issa brozi iksos Robb hen lentor Stark - is that right?” Robb was slow on the words coming out but nonetheless he actually managed to say the sentence correctly. 

I smiled, tucking the book underneath my arm once I had shut it closed wishing to just talk to him now since we rarely got to be alone. “Yes, that’s actually perfect. I’m impressed, Robb.” 

“Maybe it had something to do with my teacher.” He teased me, forming a smirk on his lips and he stepped closer to me where I had to lift my head up to look him in the eye. 

I parted my lips feeling my face turning slightly red realizing how close our faces were from the other. “Robb, I - I don’t know what to say.” I knew what Chezney would tell me to say at this moment. He should know what I wrote in the letter to Joella even if he didn’t feel the same. But we were in a time of war, I’m not sure telling my feelings that I may not even understand myself would do much good. 

“Haelesa, I-“ Robb trailed off shifting his gaze onto mine. 

I released a breath, not sure what I should do. “Robb.” 

He didn’t utter another word and instead leaned his head downward towards my lips. To my surprise I leaned forward up on my toes to get closer to him. Robb touched the side of my face and I leaned into his palm. I hadn’t ever kissed anyone but Jaime so I wasn’t sure what I should be doing. 

Robb finally closed the gap and our lips met with a sweet and uncertain kiss. I take a few steps closer to him trying to deepen the kiss we were sharing. Robb moved his other hand to my hip tugging me against his embrace until we heard a horse galloping up to where we stood. “Lord Stark. Lady Lannister.” 

“Uh yes.” I broke the kiss avoiding the man on the horse's gaze. 

Robb ran a hand through his auburn curls trying to regain his tough composure to one of his father’s soldiers. “Do you have some news to tell me?” 

“Yes, my lord.” The soldier informs the two of us. “We’ve captured a Lannister scout. He appeared to be counting the number of men we have.” 

Robb cleared his throat following the lord. “Put him in a different holding cell than the Kingslayer. Gather the leading Lords and my mother to the war tent.” I watched him begin walking away but I waited a few minutes. I touched my lips with the ends of my fingers, smiling at the thought of kissing the young wolf again one day. 

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[tobbotobbs]

''Talking is exhausting"

My first story related post! I hope it's good and have fun!

Just a little brain vomit I had about Spencer going nonverbal after getting too overstimulated while interrogating a suspect.

Watching through the glass of the interrogationroom, m/n got nervous second by second that flew by. Spencer was in that cold looking, empty room with one of the suspects they assumed was the unsub they were looking for. Hotch said he should interrogate the woman, because she looked to be having some kind of affections for their favorite doctor. So in he went, now getting stressed more and more while the woman flirted unhinged with the brunette.

M/n saw how his colleague and significant other started to pick on his fingers. Whenever the stress gets to his head he starts picking on them or on his long sleeves but it was summer so wearing a shirt it was and choosing his hands instead. ,,Hotch, are you sure it was a good idea to send Reid in there with her? I mean, he looks kinda like freaking out to me", Derek hesitated, standing right beside m/n and their Boss, who was watching the scene go on without a doubt in his mind. ,,Yes Morgan, I am very sure of this. Give him time he gets there trust me", that was his monotone answer while he turned around and left the two agents still worried for their friend.

Time went on, more minutes and more minutes went by till Spencer was so stressed he suddenly stopped bickering and discussing with the suspect. She didn't noticed, never stopped dreaming about herself and what she could do to him and where they could do it. It was like she didn't even care he was an agent with the FBI or that she in fact was getting interrogates because she seems suspicious to them. So carefree it made them all sick. She fit perfect into their profile. Confident about herself, not caring about serious situations. Being so affected by skinny and scrawny tall men with longer hair then the norm.

,,Hey...Derek?", ,,Yeah M/n ?", ,,I think Spencer needs help I...I will go get him and you'll continue to talk to that girl? So we actually get something else out of her than this delusional blabbering?", ,,Yeah sounds good to me let's do it". The men walked to the door which lead to the interrogationroom and separated them from the other two people. With a stern look m/n pushed the door open and walked in.

Spencer looked up from where his eyes had been stuck upon, his shoes, and saw his boyfriend and best friend entering the room. He wanted to say something but he couldn't and his mind went a 100 thoughts in a second. M/n knew exactly what was going on and took Spencer by the Hand to lead him outside and into the hallway of the police station while Morgan stayed and started talking to Lilia, the girl he had tried and failed to interrogate like Hotch had expected from him.

Suddenly he was stopped. He hadn't even noticed m/n had taken him into a small burau that was empty of any humans. The door closed m/n gently pushed the taller one into a chair and sat down beside him in another. He took the brunettes hand and gently tapped it so he would focus on him. Spencer looked up, but not into m/n eyes, rather at his hair because it was hard to hold eye contact right now.

,,Do you need something Love?", quietly asked into the silent room and still holding Spencer's hand, who in return tapped 2 times against the other mans hand with his finger. They had talked about situations like this before. It was not uncommon for Spencer to get over or understimulated on or off cases. When that happens he tends to stop talking and doing common social interactions in general. That's why they talked about the tapping system. They heard of it in a few books Spencer and m/n read together, or more like Spencer read and told m/n the facts afterwards on their countless cuddle dates and sleepy mornings/nights.

So they decided to try and use it and who would've guessed, it was actually a pretty good system for them. So one time tap meant no and two taps meant yes. ,,Alright. I have my pen and notebook let me quickly pull it out so u can write down what you need, alright?", he seemed unsure to do this because he had to let go of the brunettes hand and he hates letting go of m/n hand in those times. A short nod from the other though calmed his uneasiness and so he let go of the hand and quickly searched for the notebook and pen he swore he had with him. And found them, he had.

Slowly the taller one took the pen and book and started putting word after word on the blank page. After a while he gave it back to m/n and looked a little flustered to the side. Softly smirking, m/n read the words and looked up at his cute boyfriend. ,,Of course. I think Hotch will let us get back to the hotel already if I explain to him. Then we can do that and it will be just the two of us without any disturbance, alright Love?". A last time he felt the two taps on his hand before they went to talk to Hotch.

On the page was written in clumsy handwriting:

Can we cuddle and maybe take a nap while you read The Narrative from John Smith to me?

Alright! That's a wrap up for now! I hope it was good and that there's not too many mistakes, I didn't really proofread it sooo yeah sorry for that ig!

Till next time <3

[bringbackavac]

i used to think i couldn’t hate the diaz parents because they reminded me of my parents (especially as a first born who also got dumped so much responsibility and expectations at a very young age) (i’m only a year older than my sister) + the fact that they actually had a whole unpacking and sincere apology episode had me softened up.

but!!! recently, the more i thought about it, about how long chris has been away and how up till now we still haven’t had ANY conversations/efforts on bringing him back got me SO IFFY about them. the way they just went and took christopher away without having a full fruitful conversation with eddie feels SO WRONG.

(not a single question about how is he, how did this even happen, how did even chris reach that solution to call them, is eddie okay? with everything that happened? with chris wanting to go to texas for the summer? discussing how long is chris gonna stay? what measures should they take as father + grandparents unit to approach an emotionally unstable and most possibly traumatized teen with escapism as a coping mechanism instead of talking it out, etc.)

they could’ve gave eddie the lead on what to do (AS THE FATHER??? which should be a given???), help him reach a decision, trying to help the father and son talk it out. maybe staying a few nights to see if a conversation really could be made to the kid and letting eddie handle it all first, with them as a middle man, instead of just up and dragging chris on the same day and leaving you ACTUAL child all alone in confusion and grief…

his whole life just got fucked sideways and you take his only stability, his only responsibility, the only pole of his nuclear family in keeping him the slightest bit sane, his single pride and joy, his main source of happiness, thinking it would help them both???

all that and we see ZERO of the diaz parents not making an effort to check in, update on chris’s wellbeing, keeping a communication line open still. even if the kid doesnt want to talk to his dad, they could’ve been a facilitatior and (again) the middle man for these things, on really trying to patch up the father and child relationship instead of KEEPING SAID CHILD SITTING AND STEWING ON HIS FRAZZLED THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS!!!

i really can’t believe they really thought they were “helping eddie and chris” and “thinking whats best for them both” because the request to temporarily move away to a state wayyy too far from his life just so he can not-face his father after a gigantic issue from a child?? a growing teenager with imbalanced growth hormones that affects their emotions and rational thinking abilities should’ve IMMEDIATELY activated red warning lights inside their brains.

never seem to consider that after the summer break, chris still needs to go to school wether he likes it or not. chris still needs to face his father wether he likes it or not, because eddie is still his father. instead letting the teenager taking the reigns in all the decision making based on his rage, confusion and overwhelming emotions.

and eddie, obviously never having a great example of openly communicative and solutive parents who talks together instead of barging in gunz-a-blazin’ or throwing blame and shame towards their problems (exhibit Z: this whole tragedy) + the guilt + limited emotional processing as a child, is still struggling to process his own internal issues and on how to be firm and strict to his own child

who is still a TEEN btw.. who’s first thought to solving a problem was running away to a faraway state m from home with no concrete return time.

the diaz parents must really be believe they’re helping by jumping straight in the wagon with no communication and assesments, when in reality they’re HELPING NOTHING??? other than prolonging the issue… they’re just making it worse and worse causing both fathe/child NOT getting the facilities and help to start the healing/resolving process they so desperately need and deserve.

TLDR: i hate the diaz parents, and eddie needs to step up and take charge with boundaries and decisions

[c-t-r-l14]

HEADCANNON TIME!

TW: Discussions of BLOOD. Read at your own risk!

Do ya’ll think—in the world of the Sakuverse—vampires cry bloody tears?? I feel like it’d make sense, because all they consume is Blood, because thats what gives them sustenance.

I mean, just think about it: Human tears are made of water because more than half of our bodies is made up of water. Water is one of the biggest things we need in order to keep ourselves alive. If we go too long without it, our body will eventually dehydrate and die.

So, with that being said: would it not be the same for vampires? They don’t need water as their main energy source. Blood gives them all they need to survive—which probably means that more than half of their body is made up of blood. So, instead of their tears being made of salt and water like us, their tears would be made of blood and iron.

I thought of this because I’m a really big fan of Castlevania (which ya’ll should totally watch by the way), and in many instances, when the Vampires cry, their tears are bloody, and I never realized it was because all they ever drink is blood. Not only that—but when they fight—in order to reach their full strength, it seems like they let all the blood they consume go to every single part of their bodies—but where you could see it visibility—is in their eyes—because their scleras’ (the whites of the eyes) turn a haunting bloodshot red.

Like this:

Like—can ya’ll imagine it??? Xanthus somehow gets outta his enclosure and starts throwing hands with Audric and both their eyes turn bloodshot red because all the blood they’ve consumed is pumping through every vain in their body?? And it makes them even stronger??? I think it’d be pretty badass.

I’ve had this headcannon for a while now. I dunno—I just thought it’d make sense.

This is to hold ya’ll over ‘till I post a Xanthus drabble I’ve been working on, teehee