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STRANGER (xvii) - KAZ BREKKER

tags: @beekeepingageissome @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter @directioner5life @strvngestark @hostilityghost @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @justnerdystuffs @faeriepigeons // previously // next

Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 6,885

Summary: Tension snaps between the Princess and the Bastard. Neither watch their tongues or hands. However, hope appears when one door begins to close.

The air of the cemetery was colder and wetter than it was in the Barrel. It felt as if the dead were your guides rather than Jesper and Wylan. Maybe it was due to the low fog drifting across the ground in clusters. You walked in silence with cold hands that felt like ghosts were holding them tightly, your tongue dancing along the loose teeth in the back of your mouth. The men didn’t seem to mind. They chatted and flirted amongst themselves, though they both took a glance at you to ensure you were still there. You almost felt like you were intruding.

The adrenaline from the fight had long since died and you could feel the throb of wounds on your face. You had scraped away most of the dried blood from your hands and ran your sleeve across your face, smearing the blood and dirt. Your arm still stung from the bullet wound so you were quietly thankful to be heading to Nina, even if it was just to take the ache away.

You hung back a few steps, habitually seeking a chance to slip away. Your body was aching and tired, just wanting to lay down and rest. You nearly had it twice but Wylan seemed to know and fell into stride beside you. His company was nice, even if the sinking feeling of being unwanted at their hideout began to settle.

Your eyes continued to dart around for a chance to leave. Instead, you saw something odd. It was a headstone, nearly the same as the others, but there was a lion carved into it with a delicate crown. Your feet stopped as if you were rooted to that spot. You stared at the stone cat while trying to piece it together, to understand the sensation drawing you in, the cold tug at the center of your chest.

Your father told you that you had no family in Black Veil Cemetery. The dead on your mother’s side were cremated, ashes scattered on the winds, and your father’s dead were buried on the Isle.

So who was that?

You took a step closer but Wylan dragged you in the opposite direction. You wanted to dig your heels in or fight back. Wylan couldn’t take you in a fight, but Jesper had a chance. He could also shoot you down before you got past one grave.

You decided not to disturb the dead and allowed yourself to be pushed into the crypt. It had to be coincidence after all, right?

Kaz was pacing the front room when you entered. The only sound was the echoing tap of his cane against the smooth stone ground. You instinctively shrunk into the corner while Jesper greeted him. Wylan looked at you in confusion, jerking his head towards Kaz, urging you to say something.

You shook your head quickly.

It was an odd feeling to cower from Kaz, to truly fear being in his presence. You usually felt protected by your shared history and that soft spot you managed to exist as for him. Seeing the tension in his body, the hard lines of anger on his usually guarded expressions, you understood the reason men avoided conflicts with Dirtyhands when they could. In those fleeting moments before he acknowledged your presence, you considered how much of a mistake it was to come with Jesper and Wylan. For a brief moment, you wondered if your life was truly in danger.

“Oh, Davina! Thank the Saints!” Nina came in from the doorway and her voice made you jump. She went straight for you and you shied away from her embrace. “Come with me. I need your hands.”

“She shouldn’t be here.” Kaz said roughly, the only response to your arrival he offered.

You dared a look in his direction but he wasn’t looking at you while the two bickered back and forth. His pacing had stopped but his back was towards you. You could see the tension in his shoulders, practically feeling the anger from him. Yet it didn’t quite make sense.

You knew he’d be angry, but it seemed excessive, even if you considered everything. Had you misjudged how deep your alleged betrayal would cut him? For the briefest of seconds, you thought about whether you meant more to Kaz than you knew.

You followed behind Nina and her hand on your arm was what guided you. You were still studying Kaz, searching for an answer. Once you found it, however, that unwanted feeling settled in your stomach like a rock.

It was the open book on the marble tabletop that gave it away. The ledger was from your father’s accountant’s office. In that man’s handwriting, you saw the claim of a glass factory in Applebroek - Odd, that wasn’t right - and ‘Rollins, Davina - Owner of Kaelish Prince’.

He knew.

For a moment, his eyes met yours and you felt disconnected from the world around you. Like your anchor to the Earth was severed, leaving you to drift away. Everything seemed to freeze around you. No one existed in that cold, stale stone building other than you and Kaz. Your heart was hammering in your chest, pounding so loudly in your ears there was no other sound.

You could tell by the murderous look in his eyes, the look that was directed at you. He hated you. He would kill you as soon as he got the chance. He’d take back what was his and leave you to regret everything. You meant nothing to him, not anymore at least.

You were more ashamed than anything.

Wordlessly, you ducked your head and hurried behind Nina. You were struck speechless again when you saw Inej, bloodied and wincing.

Nina directed you quickly. You listened intently, carefully tending to Inej’s seeping wounds. She winced quietly, forcing her body to remain still. Stubborn little thing. You worked as gently as you could despite the lack of grace in your trembling hands.

“I’m not my Healer.” You finally found your voice.

“Trust me, I know.” Nina laughed. “But your hands are gentle and capable.”

“What happened?”

Inej told an abbreviated story. A raid on the accountant’s office, the trap, the taxidermist.

“He’ll pay for this.” You promised. “Both of them.”

“What did Kaz find?” Inej looked at you with that scrutinizing gaze, the one intended to reveal every secret.

You didn’t answer. You knew once you began to confess anything, you’d say everything. Telling Kol was enough of a risk to your facade. Telling Nina or Inej would be a blow to your resolve you wouldn’t withstand.

“I should go.” You said instead. “I’m sorry for what you went through tonight.”

“Davina.” Nina tried.

“I’m not wanted here…” Or anywhere, it seemed.

Nina sighed to herself and came to stand in front of you.

“Those look like they hurt.” Her hands reached for your cheeks but you leaned away. “May I?”

“My father needs to see this. Proof of the fight.” You reasoned. There was enough sense in your head to come to the understanding, but it was also a way to punish yourself.

“Fight?” Inej chimed in. She moved to stand and you hurried to sit her back down. “Let me go.”

“Jesper and Wylan are alright.” You promised. “In fact, I’m fairly certain they’re unscathed. I made sure of it.”

Inej looked at you hesitantly before nodding. She didn’t trust you, didn’t believe your word was worth anything, but she believed you. She opened her mouth for another question but you turned away quickly. The move put you right into Nina’s touch and you could feel the socket of your gums reforming to your molars. You shoved her hand away. She just winked and went around you to sit and chat with Inej.

“Whatever it is you’ve done…” Inej warned. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into the Suli woman’s eyes. “He deserves to know why.”

“I’m not sure that matters anymore.”

“Then we deserve to know!” She jumped to her feet and Nina had to catch her. “Whatever this is truly about, Kaz is gambling with our lives!”

“That is your quarrel with him, not me!” You said firmly. “My feud with my father has risked no one but myself.”

You stepped back into the main room and the three sets of eyes that fell on you pinned you like a mouse in a trap. You had interrupted a tense conversation, but you offered no apology. You dared to keep your head up despite the burning glare from Kaz only a few feet away.

“She wants to see you two.” You told Wylan and Jesper.

They looked at each other, some unspoken exchange passing between them. Neither moved.

Dread crept along your skin as you and Kaz faced each other.

You inched two steps back but there was no crowd to blend into. No shadows to fall into. Nowhere to hide. You had no choice but to face it head on.

“Kaz, don’t.” Jesper tried, reaching for and missing his friend’s jacket sleeve.

“No.” You held up a hand. “Let him come.”

Wylan said something in protest but you didn’t register it. Your attention was locked on Kaz as he moved closer.

His gloved hands closed around your shirtfront to slam you into the closest wall. Air left your lungs in one jagged breath. Your head bounced off the solid stone with a smack. Black threatened the edge of your vision. Before you could form a coherent thought, he spun you both and threw you to the ground.

Again, your head slammed down and you closed your eyes tightly, thanking the Saints that you hadn’t hit the stone podium on the way down. You winced loudly as the back of your head burned with the new wound, hair already sticking with the fresh blood. You tried to bat his hands away but that only seemed to make him hold on tighter. One foot was planted by your shoulder and the other knee was on the center of your chest making a full breath impossible.

The sharp pain began to grow in your head, your vision blurring. In those moments, you were wishing he had simply bashed your head with his cane. At least it would’ve been a quick death.

“I can… explain.” You gasped out.

“Kaz!” Jesper tried but Kaz shouldered his friend away. “Get off of her!”

“You snake!” Kaz said viciously.

“I didn’t-“

He lifted you enough to slam you down again. The black spots burst across your vision and you had to blink them away.

“It’s not what you think. Please.” You tried again. One of his hands closed around your throat. You desperately clawed at his wrist with one hand while trying to free the blade up your sleeve since you couldn’t get your hips up to reach the pistol digging into your back. You didn’t have the intent to use either weapon but it’d make a damn good threat.

“You used me, used all of us! You lied to me. You took everything!”

“Kaz, let her up!” Wylan desperately tried. “Give her a chance.”

“I did!” Kaz yelled back, though his eyes didn’t leave yours. “She’s no better than her father.” He spat that sentence at you and it sliced deeper than any blade wound he could’ve given you.

“You’re right.” You agreed and stopped fighting against him. His anger turned to shock for a split second before returning, but the grip on your throat loosened enough for you to suck in more of a breath. “But if you let me explain, I’ll tell you why I did it.”

“I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

“You’ll never get your Club back if you don’t.” Your voice was a rasp, your lungs deflated.

Another falter from well-placed words.

You almost smiled.

Within a few seconds, Kaz’s weight was suddenly gone. You greedily took full breaths, coughing and rubbing your quickly bruising throat. Hands were pulling you up and you gripped their sleeves blindly. Standing so quickly made you unsteady on your feet so your support didn’t leave.

Your eyes searched for Kaz. He was pushing himself up using the nearby wall and Wylan was standing near him. You looked to the side and saw Jesper had helped you up. It took a moment longer to realize that Wylan had forced Kaz to let you go.

You didn’t stick around to thank him or see what consequences he’d suffer. You couldn’t.

You jerked free of Jesper’s grasp, ignored the mix of voices calling you back, and ran out of the mausoleum. You stumbled through the cemetery, using various headstones to keep you upright. With mumbled apologies, you staggered to the strange one you had seen on your way in.

You fell to your knees in front of it. Your body sagged with exhaustion and pain, hands tightening into fists in the sparse grass. Tears blurred your vision as you examined the stone. It was pristine, recently cleaned and supplied with a fresh bouquet. There were no chips or cracks in the stone and there was no overgrowth of weeds.

Alohra Hayley Maxim-Rollins.

Your mother.

You felt sick. How could she be buried so close and you never knew? How long had she been in the ground? How had she died? You knew Pekka had her buried there on purpose. He had told you there was nothing for you at Black Veil so you had no reason to be there. She was supposed to be a perfectly in plain sight secret.

Yet there you were, quietly sobbing on your mother’s intently manicured grave.

You hadn’t heard him approach. Whether you were too tired to pay attention or too lost in the spiral of your discovery, it didn’t make a difference. The blunt end of his cane pressed on the back of your neck to keep your head down.

“I have to ask you not to kill me on my mother’s grave.” You sniffled. “I know you’d get off on the thought of my father's reaction to finding my body here - you’d probably want to stand in front of him to tell him you killed me and where he’d find my body - but out of respect for her, I ask you to reconsider. Considering that she liked you, I hope you’ll give her that kindness.”

He said nothing. You let the silence stretch for a few moments but his cane never faltered. Did he understand your grief? Could he? At least he knew when he lost his brother.

“Is this why you left Melli’s?” You said weakly. “Came all the way here to taunt me with my mothers grave? Did you know she was here?”

“No.” He said flatly.

“I knew she was out of the Barrel, but I always thought he sent her to the country home. Not to a coffin.” You lightly knocked a fist against the cold ground. “I didn’t even know she was dead until one of his Lions mentioned it. I brought her up and he offered condolences…”

More silence.

“If I hadn’t kept your Club, you’d never have the chance to get it back.” You explained. “Kill me for it if you’d like, but you’ll never find the deed. He’ll claim it, draw up new documents. The Crow Club will never exist again.”

His cane disappeared, but not without a small shove. If you hadn’t had your hands on the cold ground, you would’ve fell forward.

“I intended to give it back once I fulfilled a promise.” You glanced over your shoulder but the moon only illuminated so much. You couldn’t read his expression. He seemed more the monster from the stories of his reputation than the man you knew, but by that point in the night you didn’t have it in you to be afraid. “You don’t believe me.”

“Why should I?”

“Because it’s me.” You laughed weakly. “You know me, Kaz. You trust me.”

“And it’s cost me damn near everything.”

“How do you think I feel by doing what I’ve done?” With one last look at your mother’s name, you forced yourself to stand and face him. “I’ve given up everyone I care about, including you, to-“

“To rejoin your father. To drag our names through the mud. To take advantage of the single favor I asked of you.” He took a threatening step closer. “I took them out of Melli’s care because we don’t need your charity.”

“It wasn’t charity, you idiot. It was because I asked her to give you someplace safe, where I knew Pekka couldn’t touch you.”

“Is it not your fault he’s after us?”

“No.” You said sharply. “It’s not. Just like it isn’t my fault

you took a job that led you out of Ketterdam. It isn’t my fault that you couldn’t take Inej. It isn’t my fault that you left your deed with Heleen and I was the only one that could get it back. I am the only thing standing between my father and your precious Club, but it just isn’t enough for you.”

You didn’t know what was fueling your words but a newfound anger was burning in your chest. You could feel the build up in your words. Like winds in a ship’s sail, everything out of either of your mouths was adding to the growing distance between you two.

“You want to blame me for this? Look at what I’ve sacrificed.” You threw an arm to the side. “I left my friends and my home. Everything I’ve built I had to abandon so Pekka wouldn’t hurt them. You’re not the only one he torments, you know.”

“What do you want from me, Davina?” He shrugged slightly, though his eyes couldn’t shield his anger. His expression as a whole was as cruel as you had ever seen it, truly embodying every legend around his alter ego. “My trust? You had it, undoubtedly, but you burned it to ash when you took everything.”

“I had no choice! It was to keep my family safe!” You screamed.

“And what of mine?” He yelled back.

You stood in stunned silence for a moment. Neither of you spoke, yet it seemed like the voices of the dead filled the air. Your mother and maybe even Jordie.

“I was a child, same as you.” You reasoned. “I couldn’t do anything back then, but I can now. And I’m trying… I’m sorry about everything that’s happened, I swear I am, but Jordie’s death wasn’t my fault, Kaz.” You said quietly.

Before you knew it, his fist hit your jaw. The impact threw you to the ground and you nearly hit your head on the headstone. Acting on reflex, you kicked out at his shin to knock it away. With his weight forced to his bad leg, Kaz fell to his knees. He slammed his cane to the ground to keep from collapsing completely.

“I’ll get you the Crow Club back.” You said flatly. “That’s all I owe you, right? Then you’ll be free to kill me.”

He said nothing, just glared over at where you rested on your knees.

“Applebroek isn’t a glass factory, by the way. It’s the country estate. There’s no leverage for you there.”

You saw a figure leaving the mausoleum, looking in every direction. Their eyes found yours and you watched their shoulders sag with relief. You took that as your cue to leave, turning just in time for the tears to fall down your cheeks again.

You refused to let Dirtyhands see you cry.

As you walked home, you thought of how history was repeating. You and Kaz, friends for only a short while, before your father’s intervention took everything.

The difference was that it was your own dead family that served as motivation. Learning of your mother’s death felt like someone yanked away the rug you were standing on and you were falling. There was no one to catch you either.

Kaz hated you. Kol couldn’t get involved. You didn’t want to think of what Melli thought of you.

As you were approaching the Kaelish Prince, you noted a large commotion outside the Poisoned Rook. Patrons were running from the place, even some of the regulars you could recognize. Gunshots sounded and you flinched.

“What’s going on down there?” You asked your doorman. A man about your own age, lacking his tattoo.

“You’re alive!” He grinned. “Your father sent some men to look for you. I guess that’s where they started.”

“The Rook is supposed to be off-limits to Dime Lions.” You turned on him. His eyes went wide either because of your injuries or your fury. “Why send them?”

The man shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. He didn't tell me, but I heard some of them say that they’ll go after the Grisha first.”

Kol.

You grabbed the man’s sleeve. “Come with me.”

“I’m not supposed to-“

You groaned loudly and shoved him towards your club.

“Someone else on the door, now!” You shouted through the doorway. A short commotion came before a new body took over. The tried to speak to you but you pulled the young would-be Lion with you.

“Davina, you need to see a Healer.” He urged.

“That’s where I’m going.” You answered, maneuvering the panicked crowd.

“What will your father say?” He tried desperately.

“Look.” You stopped and spun to face him. “You don’t bear the Lion tattoo so truthfully, you don’t have to listen to him. It’d serve you well to understand that I remember who do right by me, as well as those who cross me. You’d serve me better as an acquaintance than an adversary. I have enough of the latter as it stands.”

He thought about your words for only a moment before nodding.

“I didn’t catch your name.” You said with a small, polite smile.

“Lockley.” He nodded.

“You and I may come out of this as friends, Lockley.”

You picked up walking again and Lockley was close behind. He shoved some out of your way, his hand ghosting your back when the crowd was too dense to be side by side. More gunshots, more yelling, more chaos.

Stepping inside the Rook felt like all the air was taken out of your lungs.

Men writhing in pain on the floor. Melli brandishing brass knuckles, Adrin with what looked like ice picks, and Kol were all back to back. Each one with various injuries and blood stains. Most patrons had made it out but some were huddled under their gaming tables. You glanced around and gestured for Lockley to help you get on top of one of the tables.

You drew your pistol and the memory of earlier flashed. Wylan refusing to hurt you, Jesper hesitantly agreeing, Kaz hitting you without hesitation. It all made the wounds throb with a reinvigorated wave of pain.

You fired the gun into the ceiling. The kickback served as enough of a distraction and the bang echoed around your skull.

“That is enough!” You shouted and all eyes turned to you. “This remains my club. What gives any of you the right to treat it like a brawl?”

“Davina?” One of the Lions spoke. “Your father sent us to find you. He said these Barrel rats took you.”

“And I told you she hasn’t been here!” Melli argued. “We wouldn’t do that to her.”

“I suggest you all stand down.” You warned the Lions, waving your pistol as you spoke. “I’d hate to have to put you down now. Imagine the headache as I explain to dear old Dad why.”

“Pekka didn’t quite cut off the head of the Snake, did he?” Another Lion taunted. He was the man that questioned you at the Menagerie. “Where is your loyalty, girl?”

Your gun aimed at his forehead.

“I don’t take well to that kind of talk.” You mocked. “Makes me twitchy.”

“Davina.” Kol said firmly. With a flick of his wrist, the Lion fell. “Take your men and leave. That’s enough.”

“Enough?” You laughed. Exhaustion, physical pain, and emotional pain had you feeling insane in those moments but you couldn’t think of a better time to spiral. “No, Mr. Gethos. I haven’t even begun.”

“Davs?” Melli tried.

“Mellaney.” You greeted her flatly, refusing to look in her direction.

“Call it off, Davina.” Kol tried again.

“Or what?” You shrugged. “I can’t win. I never could. If Papa doesn’t kill me, Dirtyhands will. I should just-“ You pressed your barrel under your chin.

Your weapon never fired. You collapsed before it could.

————————————

Black Veil Cemetery. A carefully manicured headstone. The whispers of the dead.

You are on your hands and knees at her grave again. Your fists bunch in the sparse greenery as you hold back tears.

“Get up, Davina.” You hear your mother’s voice. “You must get up and fight!”

“I’ve already lost, Mama.” You whisper. “They hate me.”

“He’s just angry.” Jordie answers. “He’ll come around.”

“He won’t… He’ll never trust me again.”

“Prove to him that he can. Believe me, Vina. Kaz wants to trust you.”

A ghostly touch was on your shoulder.

“How can you be sure?” You sniffle. “You should hate me, too.”

“It was never your fault.”

You drop your head and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Mama?” You try.

“Yes, my girl?” She says gently. You feel a cold wind under your chin that forces your eyes up.

“Did he do this? Did Papa kill you?”

“Do not lose yourself in this pain, Davina. Anger, vengeance, grief, all can make us go mad.”

“I’m already lost.” Your voice is small. “I’m drowning in mistakes.”

“Find someone to pull you out.”

————————————

The next night, after having been cooped up in the Emerald Palace all day when you woke up against the front door, your father said he was taking you on a trip. No matter what questions you asked, he gave no answers. You were told to dress down, something to blend in amongst the masses. You weren’t healed from the fight considering you pulled a blade on any Healer who came near, but you were cleaned up and bandaged where needed. When he placed a long coat over your shoulders, the weight of it felt like your cloak and your heart stuttered.

It completely fell when you arrived at Hellshow.

Your father gave you a quick explanation of how it went. The bigger, stronger prisoners were pitted against each other in no-holds barred matches. He came often since many of the guards were on his payroll. You couldn’t grasp what he’d gain from it but Pekka’s logic was far beyond your understanding anymore.

A familiar voice drifted up from the bottom of the stands and you had to crane your neck to see. She wasn’t facing you, but the style of her hair and the fit of her dress told you exactly who she was.

You glanced at your father but he seemed focused on the fight. It was your only chance to slip away. As soon as you were on the dirt pathway, you were flanked by Lions. You cursed quietly and soon after, your father was at your side.

“Great eye, daughter.” He smiled and led you to your friend. You didn’t miss the way he kept you in front of him.

“Rare thing, Heartrender, to know a new fighter by name.” He announced as he approached. You desperately tried to sink into the chaos and shadows, but the Lion presence at either elbow kept you in place. “Hellgate’s a rough spot for a Fjerdan to make friends.”

“A good woman does all she can to see her man safe.” You added, hoping she understood. Hoping she caught your double meaning.

“What’s your price?” She looked to you. Her eyes frantically scanned your face before settling into a calm stare.

Did she know what you meant? Could she see through your ruse? Did she sense how your heart was hammering in your chest?

“Bring me Kaz Brekker’s head.” Your father answered and clapped a hand to your shoulder.

The contact made you jump. You glanced back, as if to confirm who touched you, then faced Nina again.

“We’ll talk soon, Heartrender.” You nodded slowly.

She pressed her mouth together but gave no other reaction. You wanted to reach for her hand, just to connect with her, but you were led away before you could.

The next few days around the Kaelish Prince felt suffocating. You would sit in the office and wonder what Kaz and your friends were up to. When that became too much, you’d walk the floor to show face with a forced smile and acknowledging nods. Then the ghost of the Crow Club would appear, faint whispers taking on Kaz or Jesper’s voice, and you’d feel sick.

You stepped out after the third day of the same routine just for air. It was by no means fresh. It tasted of salt from Fifth Harbor. It smelled of wet stone, overbearing perfumes, and spilled alcohol. It was filled with the sounds of doormen, hollering for people to come into their various businesses. It stung your throat but it was better than the haunted air inside. It also felt like a different breath, like the Saints were finally with you.

Your attention found the Poisoned Rook’s direction as always. There was a shadow passing by, a distinctly female shaped shadow, and it beckoned for you to follow. Without a second thought, you practically went running.

“They’re in the office.” Adrin smiled softly as you made it to her at the door. She put hands on your arms and gave a small squeeze. “I never doubted you, Davina.”

“It’s almost done.” You promised. “I can feel it.”

She offered a nod before gently pushing you through the doorway. Your chest swelled with happiness when you crossed the threshold. Everything was so familiar. It felt exactly where you were supposed to be. There were no words for it, for the sureness that flooded your body. What you told Adrin had no proof other than an undeniable feeling, and stepping into that place only

added to that.

“Almost done.” You said to yourself before heading to the office.

Various Snakes talked to you on your way. They greeted you, embraced you, even welcomed you home. Some gave a cold shoulder, a few had choice words for you. You accepted it all in stride, shook the hands that extended your way or returned the smiles. You let those that were angry voice that. Each shout felt as if you’d been struck, but you forced your feet forward.

“I told you she’d follow.” Kol said as you entered the office.

He and Melli stood with Kaz and Inej. The pair of Crows didn’t hide the uncertainty in their eyes as they looked at you. You thought if there was anything else you could say or do that would prove you were on their side.

Your eyes turned towards your desk, more specifically the safe hidden under those floor boards. Would it be better to just give him back the deed?

Let him battle it out against Pekka. Your brain offered. You shook the thought away.

Returning his Club deed wouldn’t help Inej. That was the promise you had to keep because whether Kaz believed it or not, you followed through your deal with him.

Kaz turned a questioning look to Inej and you moved deeper into the room. You stood between Kol and Melli, unintentionally placing you right in Kaz’s line of sight. Moving to Kol’s other side would put you next to Kaz and Melli’s other would put you by Inej. Neither side felt more comforting so you stayed put.

“She can take care of the Kaelish Prince.” Inej reasoned. “Pekka won’t suspect her.”

“Suspect me of what?” You found your voice to ask.

Kaz didn’t look at you as he answered. “There’s a substance you have to distribute. It mimics Firepox.”

“All of Pekka’s businesses have to be covered.” Melli said. “Clear path of contagion.”

“The Prince isn’t Pekka’s. It’s mine, technically.” You argued.

Kaz’s jaw clenched.

“That may be true but there’s enough cross traffic between them that it has to be hit as well.” Inej explained.

“The Lions there are my own charge.” You continued. “They’re a younger crop, around my age. Most don’t have tattoos and are looking to prove themselves to Pekka. He doesn’t trust them to work in the Palace. They’re hardly even allowed in.”

“Your shipments come through Fifth Harbor?” Kaz asked angrily. “On his ships? Through his port? Then yes, your business needs to be hit.”

“I haven’t had a shipment in nearly a fortnight.” You argued. “People come to the Kaelish Prince more for gambling and cards than they do drinks.”

“Why did you bring her?” Kaz glared at Kol, who returned the look without hesitation. “She chose her side already.”

“You intend to take back a club that’s been tainted?” You cut in.

“You have no intention of giving that back. You’ve made that very clear.”

You shook your head with a scoff. He’d never believe you until you physically handed back the deed.

“What does false plague do for your cause?” You asked instead. “It’ll blemish his reputation, slow business for a while maybe. But it takes nothing from him.”

“Jesper and Wylan checked out your country estate.” Kaz’s eyes met yours with a certain feralness that made your chest tight. “Pekka had it filed away as a glass factory.”

You wanted to say that your mother picked that house. She decorated that place. She always talked about taking you there during winter for the clear, starry nights. But he wouldn’t care for the sentiment.

“And I told you it wasn’t. What does it matter?”

“The boy.”

“What does it matter?” You asked again.

“What boy?” Kol asked.

“Pekka’s son.” You answered, not looking away from Kaz.

“You have a brother?” Melli’s surprise was clear.

“Half.” You waved it off. “Different mothers.”

Would Melli be able to empathize with you over the loss of your mother?

“The powder isn’t what will end all of this.” Kaz spoke. “But suffering…”

“You can’t involve the boy.” You reasoned. “He’s a child, same as we were.”

“We?” Inej chimed in.

“You won’t have to touch a hair on his head.” Kaz sarcastically responded.

“Comforting.” You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t trust me?”

“That’s funny, coming from you.”

“I thought you two were past this.” Kol muttered.

“He can’t help who his father is and neither can I.” You didn’t acknowledge Kol’s complaint. “When will you stop trying to punish me for my parentage?”

“When will you stop acting like your parentage?” Kaz matched your blow.

“Acting like my father is what’s kept me alive this long.”

“And what fantastic choices you’ve made with that life.”

“You’re insufferable!” You shouted. “Do you realize Pekka has never even seen me with the Crow Club deed? Honestly, he has no proof that I actually have it. All he knows is that you don’t.”

“Where is it?” He asked tightly.

“Safe.” You nodded. “In a place he’d never dare to go. More specially, a place only people inside this room knows exists..”

“All Saints, Davina.” Kol sighed after a moment. “That’s where it’s been?”

“Oh!” Melli understood. “I can’t tell if that’s stupid or brilliant.”

“Wherever you’re keeping it.” Inej cut in. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

“If he hasn’t found it by now, he won’t.” You answered then looked to Kaz again. “A ‘thank you’ would be sufficient. I’ll even hear an apology.”

“I’d rather chew off my own hand.”

“Go on then.” You laughed. “We’ve got a Healer.”

“Alright, enough.” Melli interjected calmly.

“Actually, Melli, I think Dirtyhands and I have quite a bit left to say to each other.”

“I’ve nothing to say to you, Princess.”

“I see. You’re much tougher in front of your own crew.”

“Davina!” Inej scolded.

“No, Wraith. I’m done holding my tongue in front of him. If we are all to work together, we should air our grievances now.”

“There is nothing you can say.” Kaz slammed a fist against the desk. “You’ve made your choice. Now you have to live with the consequences.”

“Until you need my help, right?” Your head cocked as you mocked him. “Until you need access to your, excuse me, my club.”

His jaw clenched and you bit back the smirk.

“You don’t believe I’ll return it so why call it anything else?” You shrugged.

“Will you two just stop?” Kol complained. Out the corner of your eye, you saw Kol’s hand moving.

Before you could voice an objection, you felt the twinge in your chest. You groaned, trying to stand tall. Kaz had a similar reaction. You clutched lightly at your chest and shot Kol a glare. He simply raised in eyebrows in question, silently asking if you were done. When you didn’t answer, the tightness grew and you leaned onto the desk for support.

“Stop it.” Inej tried. You peeked and saw she was looking at Kaz in concern, though she wasn’t reaching for him. She wasn’t offering any comfort or support.

She wouldn’t touch him.

“They’re like dogs. Once they’re fighting, you can’t stop them with words.” Kol reasoned.

You knocked a fist against the desk as you coughed. He was right, after all. You and Kaz were two volatile forces that took on paths of destruction when released. It would take more than a friendly request to calm your storms.

“You’ve made your point, Kol. Stop!” Melli insisted.

Her hand was on your back but you knew she was staring daggers at Kol over your hunched frame. You let out another sound of pain and Kaz’s stare met yours. His jaw was clenched and you could see he was feeling the same pain. You briefly wondered if your expression mirrored his, if you two mirrored each other in more ways than just that. He wouldn’t break, wouldn’t yield. Then again, you never thought he would.

“Alright.” You managed. “I yield.”

The sensation ceased almost immediately. You sucked a deep breath and Melli helped you right yourself. Kaz offered a small nod, whether it was in thanks or agreement you didn’t know nor did you ask.

“Anyways, you can’t infect the Kaelish Prince.” You shook your head. “I can get you this week’s shipment schedule for Fifth Harbor. I can also secure a presence in the Emerald Palace so when it is time to storm it, we aren’t out-numbered.”

“We?” Kaz spat. You didn’t miss the way he watched the amount of venom in his tone. “Why would I want you anywhere near me when this happens?”

“This isn’t for your sake.” You answered flatly then looked to Inej. “I cannot get what I promised the way I hoped. Since I can’t take it, I’ll have to force him to relinquish it.”

“You think you can?” Her voice was flat but the hope shone in her eyes.

“I think he won’t have a choice.” You nodded before forcing yourself to meet Kaz’s burning glare again. “If you want to use the boy as leverage, you’ll need proof that you can get to him. I can get that for you. And you’ll need his name.”

“And if I already have it?”

“Give me your word, Kaz.”

He rolled his eyes slightly.

“I mean it.” You said firmly. “The sooner we deal with my father, the sooner we can find some semblance of peace. I’m plagued by nightmares every time I dare close my eyes. It’s exhausting to be so miserable. I don’t know how you stand it.”

Inej gasped slightly but said nothing else. Melli took light hold of your hand and Kol bumped your arm with his.

You weren’t alone in that room. Everything you had felt merely hours before was nearly erased. You had your friends back, maybe you never even lost them. What you had lost was your traction with Kaz. You wouldn’t grovel for him to trust you again, but you would do what you could to find some friendship with him.

You owed Jordie that much. He made a mistake by trusting your father, but you would make damn sure that trusting and befriending you wouldn’t be the same.

You all went over the plan again, making adjustments that excluded the Prince. You compiled a list of the would-be Lions that would be sympathetic to you, prospects that you could poach without your father ever knowing. You talked about the feigned double-cross that Nina would pull off. That would be when you made your appearance at Kaz’s side.

He didn’t want to agree to it, but you saw the slight shift in expression. You figured Inej would be the only other person in Ketterdam that would’ve. There was excitement behind that resentment. He wanted your father to suffer, and having you by his side to do it made it that much sweeter.

Once the conversation was over and the Crows were on their way, Melli had placed your cloak over your shoulders. She stood before you with a smile as she fastened it at your throat.

“Welcome back, Davina.” She said warmly.

Your heart felt light for the first time since you were a child.

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petertingle-yipyip · 4 days ago

Text

THAT’LL BE THE DAY - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: (established) Kaz x Reader

Word Count: 1,710

Summary: (request) “Heyy… I wasn’t sure whether your requests were closed or not… so I am asking you Kaz Brekker x reader wife who’s a Russian assassin and they have been trying really hard for a baby and reader ends up having twin boys. Thank you <3”

The first time it hit you was in the middle of a job.

You were heading back to meet the rest of your crew when the nausea slammed into you. Your steps faltered as your hand came to your mouth. You could feel the vomit threatening but you forced it down. It wasn’t the time. Swallowing the nasty feeling, you kept going and kept it to yourself.

A few days later, you were at the Club in the usual booth with your friends. Nina brought over a plate of waffles, piled high with powdery sweetness and fruits. The smell of the treats made your stomach roll. Your hand came to your mouth as if that contact would keep the feeling to just that.

“Saints, Nina. What did you coat that with?” You mumbled, inching away from the monstrous creation.

“Nothing more than usual.” She frowned. “Are you alright? You seem… Well, green.”

“Fine.” You swallowed the rising bile in your throat. “Excuse me.”

You practically climbed over Wylan to get out the booth. You heard some comments from your friends, words of concern mostly, but you didn’t stop. You kept going until you were out in the Barrel streets. You took a deep breath and the immediate nausea settled, but there was still a general unease in your stomach.

What was going on?

You realized also you were exhausted. You had been for a few days. Your body was fatigued and achy. Your back was tight, joints stiff, eyes heavy.

The terrible thought that you had been poisoned crept into your mind. You hurried to the Slat, both hoping for and dreading Kaz’s presence there. You wanted to talk to him and have him help you figure it out, but if something was actually wrong, you couldn’t bear to think of how he’d handle it.

Instead, you focused on the possibility of poison. A tainted blade or bullet would be an easy enough carrier. You thought of past jobs and any injuries you took. Usually, you were careful. Some compared you to the Wraith, but you wouldn’t know. You joined the Crows after she set sail. Regardless, you couldn’t remember any time that would’ve worked to infect you.

A gas, maybe, but others from your crew would’ve felt it. You considered maybe they were immune, something the Kerch had defense against. Then again, your crew was from scattered places across the world. None of them would’ve been.

You got to your quarters quickly, a shared space between you and Kaz. You let out a relieved sigh when you saw he wasn’t there. You went straight for the bathroom.

You stripped your shirt to examine your torso for something. A knick. A slice. A penetration. Even if it was old and scabbed and visibly wrong, you would’ve taken it. You would’ve loved the explanation for your sudden ailment.

Instead, facing back at you in the mirror, was the same body you knew.

Well… Mostly knew.

Your bound chest to allow your protective gear to fit seemed different. You leaned a bit closer to the mirror, poked the flesh that was practically spilling out.

Odd, you never bound yourself that tight.

You frowned as your eyes drifted further down to your stomach. Your head cocked in confusion. Your stomach seemed rounder, bloated almost.

The new possibility made you dizzy. Gently, you placed. hand on your stomach.

“Are you really in there?” You asked your belly before laughing in disbelief. “If not, I’ve definitely gone mad.”

“Y/N?” Kaz’s voice echoed, urgency clear in his tone.

“In here.” You called over your shoulder, but your attention was still on your reflection in the mirror. You noticed you were smiling slightly.

“Jesper told me you practically ran from the Club.” He said tightly. His eyes were roving your body, looking for an injury.

You rolled your eyes a bit. Clearly, Jesper told him more than that.

“Do I seem… different?” You turned to him. You lowered your hand, folded both behind your back to allow a clear view.

“You seem tired.” He confessed. His leather clad hand rested lightly on your cheek. “Too many late nights in the shadows.”

Kaz usually managed to touch you without his gloves. When you two first met, you were averse to touch as well, through very different traumas. You grew up with physical touch as pain. Touch was turned to death for him. Together, you worked through it as you grew to trust and care for each other.

A gift, he once told you. To touch you and be touched by you was a gift.

“Shadows are my friends.” You shrugged. “They don’t exhaust me, my love.”

“Are you sick then?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head. Gently, you took his hand from your cheek and placed it on your stomach.

His eyes were searching yours and you cracked a smile.

“Not a sickness, but there is something.” You answered.

The next day, he insisted you go to a Corporalnik. You offered the clinic but he said no. People can get sick at the clinic, and you knew why that bothered him. His brother died of a sickness. He wouldn’t risk that for you, especially if you were in the condition you suspected.

Without much protest, you went with him to Little Ravka. It was relatively easy to get in with a Corporalnik, considering who you and Kaz were and the little ‘we’re-friends-of-the-Ravkan-crown’ line he liked to throw around.

“Dirtyhands and the Shadowmaker. I should consider myself lucky.” The woman greeted with a smile. “What brings you to my door?”

“I’ve been feeling different.” You explained carefully. “Tired, achy, nauseous.”

“Kerch medicine isn’t enough?” She raised a brow.

“It’s not treatment we’re hoping for.” You shook your head. “It’s confirmation. The symptoms are a few weeks old, more persistent as time goes on.”

“Let me guess. Your body’s changing as well?”

You nodded hesitantly.

She looked between you and Kaz a few times, as if she was piecing the request together. She smirked to herself before she came closer. Her hands moved quickly and you reached out for Kaz. Immediately, he took hold of your forearm and you gripped tight to his sleeve in return.

She stepped away and sighed.

“You two together is enough chaos around here. Seems like Kerch will need to brace for a new type of storm.” She folded her hands in front of her.

“Are you saying…” Saying the word seemed impossible. Could you truly be pregnant?

“You’ll need to step away for a bit, Shadowmaker.” She smiled. “You’ve got two more important things to make.”

“Two?” You breathed. The idea made your knees weak but Kaz was there immediately to support you.

“May the Saints watch over you and guide you.” She patted your shoulder.

She then turned to Kaz and gave him some tips and instructions, which you tuned out. You knew he’d remember everything she said so you didn’t need to listen. You were too wrapped up in the idea of carrying two babies. Being pregnant alone was an insane concept, but to have two babies was undreamt of.

You were quiet on your walk back to the Slat.

“I was thinking…” You began. “About how my work will change now.”

“I was thinking the same.” Kaz nodded.

“So we’re agreed?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll slow down for now and then step back in a bit.” You said at the same time Kaz said “You’re off any jobs for the foreseeable future.”

“Excuse me?” You said loudly. “You don’t make that choice for me.”

No. No, Kaz couldn’t take that away from you. Something strange took over your thoughts. You worked, no matter what pain or ailment you endured. That was who you were, who you were molded to be.

You. Always. Endured.

The tears welling in your eyes only added to your frustration. If Kaz took you off jobs, you were of no use to him, the Crows, your friends. You’d be a throw away, useless body, waste of resources. Words that weren’t yours, names your friends never used, clouded your focus. With those in mind, you silently cried.

“Y/N?” Kaz said, nearly a gasp. When he discarded his gloves, you didn’t know. With an abundance of caution, he placed his hands on either cheek. You felt the strokes of his thumbs brushing away the falling tears.

“You can’t.” You breathed shakily. “I can keep working, Kaz, I promise. I- I’ll be careful. I can do more int-“

“Where is this coming from?”

“You won’t want me if I’m not useful.”

“I’ll have to be six feet underground to feel like that.” He said firmly. He almost sounded offended that you’d even suggest that. “Nothing will ever change you and I. You can stand there and argue with the wall until your sweet face turns blue. This-“ He nodded between you two. “-is here to stay.”

“But-“ You tried.

“I don’t care about the jobs, my Dear. I care about you.” He said with a gentle force. You sniffled as he continued. “Keeping you safe is all that matters. All three of you.”

You smiled and laughed slightly. “We don’t know it’ll keep.”

One of his hands went down to rest on your stomach and you laid both of your hands over his.

“I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” He promised.

You smiled a bit wider and dropped your forehead against his shoulder. He chuckled quietly and leaned his cheek against your hair.

“I’m scared.” You confessed. “I may be a terrible mother.”

“I’m not sure I know how to be a father.” He answered calmly. “But we can figure it out together, Y/N.”

“They’ll be the safest kids in the Barrel.”

“They’ll handle knives before they can walk.”

“Jes is gonna try to teach them to shoot as soon as they can stand.” You laughed.

“That’ll be the day.” You could hear the slight smile in his words.

“They’ll need names.” You leaned away to see his expression. “I feel like they’ll be boys.”

“Twin boys then?” He raised a brow and you simply shrugged.

“Mother’s intuition, I guess.” You grinned. “What about…”

“Jordie.” He said quietly, knowing what you were going to say. “We should…”

“Of course.” You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “He’d be so proud of you… I am.”

He said nothing, just pulled you against him and held you close. You didn’t need him to say anything. You wrapped your arms around him just as tight and you knew, without any doubt, that you wouldn’t want a family with anyone else.

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