#like I can’t stop omg
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#am i giving everyone whiplash posting about hole and then about dragon age and then about Milton lol#sorry im like this#the iliad#the odyssey#paradise lost#what should i be reading next i have a lot of books on the shelf but i can’t stop reading these dusty ass fuck ass poems#like I can’t stop omg
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Currently obsessed with the concept of mutual and acknowledged hanahaki. Like two people who both have hanahaki for each other, and who both know about it, who both know that the other loves them and still aren’t cured.
The flowers stay, not because their love isn’t reciprocated, but because they don’t belive in it, or because its temporary, because the other deserves better, because they have complicated history, because they both already have significant others, perhaps the love isn’t enough because they both can’t put that love first, maybe their ideals and lotalties come first for both. Its not unrequited love, but its not quite enough.
just kinda love the image of two lovers-but-not-yet-maybe-never-lovers sitting together, picking flowers out of each other’s throats.
#read approximately 200 zosan fics and this is the result#also this is just the entirety of the second half of Little Mushroom#Where they’re like Damn I love you so fucking much#unfortunately I simply cannot give up my ideals and self for this love and I know you can’t either and I live you for it#Its very griddlehark as well#OH AS SOOO CORONA IANTHE SISTER THINGS#hanahaki in a platonic sense for that one#omg actually its sooo isolde/kakania too#all my favourite things will fig jnto thix new thing im obsessed with anc you can fo nothing to stop mr#headcanon#reverse 1999#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#little mushroom#one piece#griddlehark#zosan
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Father had personally asked Feanor to stand for this portrait, so he was. Father had quietly suggested that perhaps this could be a painless exercise, which did not actually mean ‘painless’ but rather ‘silent’ for Feanor, but he agreed. Father told him this painting did not symbolize anything but his own desire to have a record of all his available loved ones around him, and Feanor was trying to see it that way- for the sake of his own sanity.
Because his stomach was roiling, and there was a heaviness in his chest, a great emptiness which his heart was pounding against, echoing, echoing, echoing.
Father had one hand on Feanor’s shoulder and the other was upon Indis’s. She was sat in front of them, smiling beautifully, little golden-haired Arafinwe in her lap. Around them, her three dark-haired children were gathered. Findis on Father’s other side, Nolofinwe with her, and Lalwen in front of Feanor.
To the unaware eye, Feanor knew, they must all look like they matched. Like they went together correctly. Like a family.
When the portrait was complete and those dark haired children were gathered around the mother and father, who would guess that one child was out of place? Who might glance at all that paint representing their faces and think anything but-
You could almost be her son, Feanor thought, and then his mind replied, But you’re not.
He was so still and he dared not move, because if he did, he’d never get back in place. If Feanor flinched once, the sharp, jagged pieces of him that never fit right in this puzzle would scratch one of them. They’d be annoyed and that would be it: he’d combust in anger, he’d shatter across the floor, snapping and snarling at everyone unnecessarily until he ruined their perfect little scene. Father said this might be a painless exercise. No, no; this was to be a silent, still exercise.
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
How good a painter was this person Father hired? How varied his faces? Would he capture that Feanor’s nose resembled that of none of the people here? Could he represent that his frame was already different from his father and little half-brother’s?
Would he lie and throw a pleased smile on Feanor’s face? Not even Father had asked him to smile.
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
Feanor’s presence made them fit together so symmetrically, maybe that was pleasing enough to hide the wrongness of this scene. Maybe that’s why Father made him come here today, the pretty scene. Why he asked him to suffer, even as the longer he stood here, the more and more Feanor felt like he was about to be sick all over the floor.
A ghost, a ghost, there was a ghost looming over their shoulders ruining this perfectly symmetrical scene. Couldn’t they feel her breathing down their necks, icy chill against sweat? Didn’t their perfectly posed heads feel her long, clever fingers wrapped lovingly around their necks?
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
Feanor’s gaze slipped down to the back of Indis’s head. Her beautiful golden hair. She didn’t wear a crown, this was a family portrait, and that felt worse. So much worse.
If he let his eyes unfocus and his mind wander, he could try to lie to himself that her hair was much lighter and the faces of the children around them more closely resembled his own. The woman in front of him loved him, and she fussed over his hair before they sat for this portrait, and he’d let her do it.
The worst part was Feanor did know that Indis would help him with the ties of his robes, if only he let her.
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
She’s not, she’s not, she’s not. It was a simple statement of fact. It was scandal enough that the father replaced the wife, when one at least chose a wife, but what freak replaced his own mother?
What would the people who saw this portrait think? Would they see Finwe’s happy family or would they see Feanor’s blaring, uncomfortable intrusion upon what gods and men declared to be a better order of things? Father wanted him to belong here, but he didn’t.
He just didn’t.
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
A painless exercise. Painless, painless, painless, for them. Silent, still Feanor, a happy accessory to the triumphant union of Finwe and Indis, a grateful stray dog permitted to drink from the bowls provided by Indis’s family.
This exercise was just meant to capture the image of all Finwe loved, nothing more. Don’t think too hard about it, Feanor. You might make the children unhappy.
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
You should pretend you are, though. That’ll make them like you.
Because they did so disdain him, most of the time. They disliked how he glared at their mother and started fights at family dinners and ignored them in the hallways. Why shouldn’t they? Feanor would hate a person who did those things to his family, too.
He just couldn’t stop, though. He wanted to, sometimes, when the exhaustion and loneliness caught up, and then he remembered that he wasn’t Indis’s son and never would be, and remembering that made him angry. Wouldn’t it just be so damn convenient for them all if he was almost her son?
But he wasn’t.
He was Miriel’s son. That was her name. He had no portrait with her. He loved her.
He loved Miriel, but it was Indis he posed with and-
When the session was done, Feanor jerked away from his father and shoved his way past Lalwen. As he went, Indis looked up at him, caught his eye, and he couldn’t help the sneer that crossed his face.
He hoped that was painless enough for her.
When he returned to his chamber, he went to the wash room and heaved in the pot there. The gagging and retching made wetness prick his eyes, and the sudden tightness of throat made him choke all the harder. The sickness and heaving stayed long past when there was anything in his stomach to lose.
No one came. Feanor hoped maybe Father would, but really, why would he? Feanor had been mostly good, just a little rudeness wasn’t worth either reprimand or comfort.
No, they were together. Maybe admiring their portrait, happy and pleased, or complaining about his behavior again. Really, why couldnt that Curufinwe just accept nice things?
I need to get out of here, Feanor thought, face and body wet with both sweat and tears. I need to leave this place.
He was a good son, and he could do anything else his father wanted but betray his mother further. No, Feanor couldn’t pose as Indis’s son even a second longer. He would destroy himself, if he had to think one more time-
You could almost be her son. But you’re not.
#I understand what it’s like to be surrounded by people all telling you that you belong and it’s okay and just /be nice/#just play ball and settle and you can everything in the world#but you know you don’t belong#and you never will#and pretending is killing you#you won’t you can’t and you’re just so fucking sick of them pretending you can fit if you’re just /nice enough/#because they’re lying to you and themselves#just don’t be angry?? omg why are you angry? stop being angry and enjoy what we say you should want teehee#anyway I love feanor and don’t think he should have just gotten over his mothers death#tolkien#the silmarillion#feanor#tribble post#fanfic
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Me: *Sitting down, having a cup of tea, minding my own business*
My Mind: ‘What if Baby Shark is trending when Speckles hatches?
Me: 😟
My Mind: *Imagining Kenji carry a baby ankylosaurus around while singing Baby Shark 24/7* ‘You’re welcome.’
Me: *Frantically checks what year Baby Shark was popular and what year Chaos Theory Season 3 is set in*
#oh god I can’t stop thinking of this possibility#like Yaz has patiences but not that much patience#kenji would be unbearable#can’t wait to see camp fam raising the baby ankylo#darius would be singing nursery rhymes that would be educational#sammy would make the ‘nom nom nom’ noise when feeding Speckles like Mrs Incredible with Jack Jack#Yaz would be teaching Speckles how to walk#Ben will just be taking photos non-stop#but only if Kenji gives him visitation rights after the stunt he pulled with Brooklynn#omg imagine Speckles as Yasammys ring bearer🥺#i just can't#jurassic world chaos theory#ben jwct#jwct kenji#jurassic world chaos theory spoilers#jwct benji#jwct#jwct spoilers#jwct darius#jwct yaz#jwct brooklynn#jwct sammy#yasammy#jurassic world chaos theory season 2 spoilers#text post
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I GROW MADDENED
#HAJALALAHEHEHEHEHHEHEJFJFK#going through the book of bill page by page to get all the codes#and omg the little backstory hints are literally insane I’m gonna die#I wanna make art for it but as I stated previously#I grow maddened#I can’t do anything till I’ve gone through the book a few times#AND NO ONE I KNOW IRL KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS#SO IM JUST#SCREAMING AND JUMPING AROUND MY HOUSE#and do not get me started on the website#I will not stop#gravity falls#the book of bill#book of bill#bill cipher#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#thisisnotawebsite.com spoilers#like actually scalene and euclid are making me go crazy I can’t#jadethebluerambles#don’t be surprised if I seem possessed next time I’m on here bc I’ve practically sold my soul three times at least just with documents#GAHAKSKSLSKAJHSKSKALAAJSHHDAASDKSHSH
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Snape antis: What do you have to say about Snape making fun of Sirius at Grimmauld place?
Me:
#he deserved to have this one fr#‘‘how’s the cleaning going‚ black? 🥰🙊’’#you can’t tell me he wasn’t making those faces at sirius when he asked that#tbh i see people try and bash him for this and i’m like ??? would you not do the same??#the opportunity was basically served to him on a silver platter#shit i’d roast sirius too 🤷♀️#severus snape#pro snape#pro severus snape#snape#anti snaters#they’re acting like i’m gonna suddenly care#omg guys i can’t believe snape insulted the guy who bullied him endlessly and never stopped being an asshole to him!! he must be punished!!!#harry potter#hp#shitpost
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HAZBIN SPOLIERS!!!!!!!
“if HELL is ‘forever’ than heaven must be a lie,
if angels can do whatever and remain in the sky!
The rules are shades of gray when you don’t do as you say,
when you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again!”
(GIF by @laputaskies)
#Like omg#these lyrics slap so hard#I loved the new eps#I can’t stop thinking about them#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#hazbin charlie#hazbin emily#hazbin spoilers#my post
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Tik Tok decided to make me feel things today Pt1
#that first line makes the 2020 injury even more traumatising cause you know he was think omg I can’t ride anymore like kill me knoe#also it’s so fascinating how intrinsically tied Marc’s emotions are depending on how his professional life is#like he’s always saying my personal life is seperate to my professional life and that’s true to some extent#but he is so tied to racing and making people feel happy and making the team happy#like in all in before mugello when he was going to announce that he was having his 4th surgery they said he didn’t have to ride and know#all I can think about is did he come back in 2020 to soon because he thought he was ready or did he come back because he thought he owed it#to Honda because he knew the bike wasn’t great and they would need him#marc marquez#mm93#and he’s so okay with pain as long as the pain wasn’t for nothing like 2021 must have been excruciating but he was getting podiums so the#pain was worth it but 2023 he was in pain and not enjoying and he was wasting his career so the pain stopped being a means to an end and it#became so bad he thought about stopping#even now after the surgeries there’s still going to be chronic pain and not just from the arm but the shoulder and because of all the hits#he’s had to his head he’ll probably get headaches easily#I do love that Shira is his emotional support dog that was with him throughout all the PT#like who’s he going to nap with now that Alex is moving out
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i’m so serious i need these lyrics tattooed on the inside of my eyelids
#i can’t stop listening to this song#i can’t formulate my thoughts rn but this song and honestly the whole album#have such an interesting take on where modern day feminism is heading and how we’ve traded in genuine activism for this girls girl#aesthetic that has no deeper meaning or messaging other than omg i love being a woman and i love buying makeup and i would never shit talk#another girl or be insecure#because it’s literally impossible 😭 you’re not gonna get along with everyone! a friend to all is a friend to none!!!#and you’re not gonna magically lose all of your insecurities and low self esteem just because some girl on tiktok told you that thick thigh#s save lives#idk like there’s so much pressure on us to be perfect all the time and be this weird caricature of a girl#when in reality this girl doesn’t even exist!#it’s crazy that people honestly think you’re some kind of an anti feminist if you don’t like following tiktok beauty trends or if you have#beef with other women or you struggle with low self esteem#like at its core femininism is about women’s rights! it’s not about shaming women for being real complex people 😭#you can’t girl boss your way out of body dismorphia and serve anxiety#you can’t self care and retail therapy your way out of depression#anyway i love this song and i love being a gross weird women#mari.txt
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“Shut up. I said sit still.”
Auri frowns, but again, she does as he says. Astarion dips into a pan of molasses-colored paint with his middle finger, and when he presses it to her lips, she flinches. “Sit still,” Astarion repeats again, but he’s smiling.
A gift for the amazing @aevallare of this adorable scene from Kindred!! 10/10 recommend 100/10 Cry every time
#I FORGOT HER FRECKLES IM SO SORRY#bg3 fanart#astarion#bg3 astarion#!!!!#bg3#the scream i scrumpt#when he pulls out the knife for the eyeliner!?!?!#I’m telling you i ahhhh i omg it’s so i can’t YOU HAVE TO STOP#(don’t you dare ever stop lmao)#i speedran this omg i'm very happy w it but also i can't look at it bc then i think about 🤧kindred and then#AHHHH we're in for a wild ride kids#i just!!!! the honey colored and copper eyeshadow!!!! inspired!!!#i literally did my makeup like that after (and then cried it off bc the end of the chapter)#📓#okay thanks for coming to my tav talk#noodle art#kimjunnoodle
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You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!
Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨
Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.
Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?
I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:
Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.
My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.
BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡
Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.
Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.
So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.
Conclusion
Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)
There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha
Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.
#Also he’s a lot like my own dad so to me with how he is it’s just an immediate “oh yeah he has always drunk duh of course”#So i can admit to bias. Or to specialized knowledge and authority on analysis idk in which way that tips the balance in my favor or not lol#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meta#alcoholism#This post was meant to be short :|#-slaps chilchuck’s family- this baby can fit in so much projection#I have like 3 chil alcoholism & chil family fic wips rn weeeeee#I’m the kind of alcoholic’s kid who grew up to never touch alcohol btw so like. Ik Chil could not have drunk young i just think he did#Can we appreciate the alcohol opinion & resistance chart actually. So often in media it’s either “alcohol’s a source of fun yippee” and#“alcohol is evil”. Thank you Dunmeshi for diversity of opinion thank you for nuance i rarely feel so seen#Izutsumi deserves to tell Chilchuck he stinks#AND BY THE WAY I hope you don’t feel talked down on anon. Ik you seem to have your own interpretation already & that’s good#sometimes i was adressing like. The General Public TM more than you which is why I spent time on some things like ‘think what you want’ etc#Okok i hope that covers it. Help where does the time go#It’s the sort of thing that makes Kui’s masterful storytelling by implying things here and there until it forms a big picture frustrating#for meta. Like! You can’t prove Chilchuck has been poor/grew up in an empoverished family/environment. There’s no evidence#but also you cannot tell me with a straight face that he isn’t and hasn’t like omg. But then it takes 30 pages to explain how he’s coded#Stop showing and not telling Kui smh /j#Ask#I think a lot about the trolls comic and man he was already so tense and grumpy and yelling. I do think that guy was stress relief drinking
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Fwb with Oliver who expects he’ll have to break things off once you get too attached but it’s worth it for a little fun except u never get too attached in fact ur the one who has to tell him it’s over bc he’s gotten too clingy
#I’m thinking I’m having thoughts#my avoidant attachment comes out soooo full force w bllk men it’s crazy#but anyways…..u meet u hook up once#u think it’ll be a one time thing which ur cool with#but the Oliver proposes u make it a regular thing#it’s too good u get real slutty (and so does he) he’s not satisfied with one time#probably does some cheesy don’t fall in love w me speech#but u know what this is#except at some point lines start blurring#and Oliver starts to come over without even looking to have sex#he just wants ur company watch a movie order food#boyfriend things#except Oliver is not boyfriend material and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be#and while he knows he maybe should stop it#he can’t#cause he likes u#and maybe it has to end but he wants to keep it going as long as he can#until one day ur asking him to meet up#and telling him u don’t think it’s a good idea to keep hooking up#and the truth is ur falling for him#and u know he might be feeling the same way#but u tell him that u think he’s treating u too much like a girlfriend#u lay out the facts#he has no choice but to agree#he knew it was coming he just didn’t expect for u to be the one to break it to him#but now he can’t sleep bc he can’t call u before bed#and every time he hears your favorite song ur all he thinks about#and sometimes he picks up snacks u like when he’s out for when u come over but u don’t come over anymore#he’s never been so torn up about someone in his life#omg I reached the tag limit bye
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When I engage with the Silmarilion fandom it’s always very educational and enlightening no matter what side they’re on regarding Finwe and his sons. But whenever I interact with the HoTD fandom it’s always “you’re condoning XYZ and therefore you’re a horrible person!!!” Or doing mental gymnastics to try to justify whichever atrocities their side committed.
Thematically both stories are quite similar. We can find parallels with Rhaenyra and Feanor but even at his worst (Pulling a sword on Fingolfin, First kinslaying, burning of the ships etc.) Feanor had never put a bounty on a toddler (Rhaenyra stating that Maelor should be bought to her dead or alive causing him to be ripped apart. Like hello??!??? How is that ever a justifiable thing to do???). I can find parallels between Feanor and Rhaenyra, sure. But if I’m honest the parallels stop with them being the only child of a kings first wife who’s father then went on to face four more kids with another women. Finwe is ten times the father Viserys was. And literally none of the kids (Feanor included) would ever take their anger out on their siblings child like we see the so called Maegor come again do.
But I digress, I was talking of the fandom. I may get heated talking about whether Feanor was right in his anger at Indis or whether Fingolfin should’ve absolutely demanded more reparations from the sons of Feanor when he crossed the ice. But I’ve never seen anyone in the Silm fandom saying that someone should die because they had an opinion.
But I’ve seen many instances of HoTD fans threatening rape and death on people who think Alicent is not the monster they portray her as, or that Rhaenyra isn’t as ‘girl boss queen slay!!!’ As people say she is. Maybe it’s because HoTD is a TV show and many of the fans haven’t read the books and therefore don’t understand nuance since the TV show focuses so much on Rhaenyra’s manifest destiny arc that team green gets painted as the ‘ultimate’ villain for our girl boss queen Rhaenyra to ascend to the throne since it’s her ‘birth right’.
Not to mention how the whole made up show canon prophecy to justify colonialism means that team black stans are really showing their true colors on what they think is right. Because guess what? The Silm also has what could be said to be as a colonizing story line with the Noldor coming to Beleriand and settling but most fans agree that the cutting up of Beleriand was very much a colonizing behavior no matter what they think of Thingol.
Point is, most HoTD fans can’t hold and intellectually simulating debate over their characters without feeling like said debater is personally attacking them since their entire personality is so deeply entwined with their fav that a critique on them would automatically equate to a critique on themselves. Therefore making it entirely impossible to have a decent conversation on the thematically very important foils that Rhaenyra and Alicent pose to each other (since they still think a good story must have a black and white view of the protagonist and the antagonist lmao).
Media illiteracy in these fandoms truly is a cancer that spreads to even the most level headed and literate individuals. Pick up a book! Understand themes and how foils are supposed to be written without internalizing criticism of your fav as a criticism of yourself! I don’t get mad when people criticize Feanor, nor do I get mad when people say I’m wrong when it comes to my own interpretation of the statue of Finwe and Miriel. It’s called having a discussion and you can only do that when you’re not on the front lines dying for a fictional character who wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire in front of them!!!
#media literacy#hotd#the silmarillion#feanor#pro alicent hightower#alicent hightower#anti team black stans#anti team black#pro team green#please I’m begging for people in this god forsaken fandom to stop defending a fictional character with your life#cw rape#anti rhaenyra targaryen#anti Rhaenyra Targaryen fans#rhaenyra targaryen#as you can see I despair at the lack of reading comprehension skills and media literacy skills most team black stans have#literally head empty only girl boss slay queen omg she’s such a boss bitch!!!!#if you can’t recognize the flaws in your fav character maybe don’t debate their actions online?#like#a character having irredeemable flaws is like half the reason you like them
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I was doodling yesterday and now I can’t focus
I’m sorry I can’t stop staring at him omfg
can he hold me like that hghgggggggh
#look at his sweet smile omg#wasn’t feeling it and now I’m like “wow I’m the artist ever’’#I wanted to make a full doodle page but I can’t stop staring at him#like bro stop I can’t focus when you look like that#lemme squish your cheeks#sans#does this count as anomaly!sans#anomaly!sans#sansnomaly#please look at him#are his eyes full of adoration or am I delusional#hrghgrgrheh#bye
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Do people genuinely forget that the Traveler had had zero intimate/purely positive interactions with Furina before the whole execution thing? Because I feel like they do. The Traveler became semi-friends / acquaintances with her during her story quest and that became more cemented during the 4.3 event
#THIS IS NO HATE TOWARDS THE CHARACTER JUST ME BEING ANNOYED ABT THE FANDOM#and the whole ‘omg they didn’t respect her boundaries!!’ thing everybody goes on about#they literally did??.#when she says no to acting they ask her if she knows anyone. she again says no and then they ask her if she’s completely sure#this causing her to snap at them. they understand why and leave it at that and go help the acting troupe#Furina comes to the guild all on her own with the intention of seeing how things are and maybe helping#the traveler notices them and drags them ot and then the story quest starts off#Furina could leave whenever she wanted. nobody was stopping her#also about the whole pulling Furina thing. I can guarantee that if it was animated like an anime you would’ve all laughed your amasses off#just imagine it for a sec. it was clearly meant as humorous. Genshin dialogue cutscenes just aren’t the most animated meaning they had—#limited options to work with#and like. about Paimon’s line about her house. I completely get where she comes from#Furina literally lives under a bridge while her previous living arengment was the aplaca Mer Onia (I can’t spell). of course Paimon’s gonna#especially when neuvillet said that he was gonna make sure she had everything she needed#genshin impact#furina#furina genshin impact#furina story quest
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saw a tiktok that was like. Daily Affirmations: my work crush doesn’t like me. and now i’m like wow i wish i could send this directly to all of my new high schooler coworkers. who are all really annoyingly obsessed with our one male manager because he’s The Chill Manager. you may have seen me refer to this man before (it’s different when EYE love him because we are the same age. the high schoolers being obsessed with him is weird as hell and he DOES need to stop encouraging this) back in winterspring i was doing a lot of opening shifts with him and i was joking that we had the king and lionheart dynamic. which was real at the time but not so much the vibe now just because like. the vibe has shifted idk i work different shifts there’s different other managers i’m technically promoted there’s all these new people i don’t care about. the vibe is different. anyway. don’t care for these high schoolers and their obsession with him. especially because they’re like actual assholes sometimes to my friend managers… (they used to just work here and then two managers left and they got promoted) (i also technically got promoted at the same time but they rank above me and do more shit that i don’t want to do so like. obviously i’m not bitter or jealous about it. like if i had to manage a bunch of teenagers that didn’t respect me i might cry every single day) (which is happening to one of them fr. they’re literally such assholes to her sometimes it’s crazy like she’s not even as mean to you people as she should be…) not to side with like. The Man or whatever but unfortunately i’m not a teenager with a part time job i go to when i don’t have soccer practice so i cannot relate to the proletariat in this situation… like i knowww they’re seeing my girl as Bitch Manager and it’s making me hate them soooo bad. like you idiots can’t even fold jeans correctly!! i hate you!!!!
#literally the past three nights i’ve been working overnight with just the 2 friend managers and we’ve been having major bitch sessions#about these high schoolers…. sorry if this makes us bitches!!#maybe if more than 4 of them were literally any good at all at any part of their job we’d hate them less idk…..#like. if they sucked less it would mean i’d have to do less work. like girls work with me here im sick of covering your asses…..#can’t even put things back where they’re supposed to go correctly…#like why am i finding clearly marked clearance jeans mixed in the stack of full price ones…. stop pissing me offfffff omg#sorry again. but the next idiot teenager who asks me where something goes and i look at it and it’s clearly marked as clearance is going to#make me lose my mind for real. yes i do need a different job i know that im aware of this#the problem THERE is that all jobs look awful to me <3#and there’s genuinely nothing on earth i care enough about to make it a career!#i genuinely need to become a trophy wife and stay at home mom. like there’s no careers for me i fear#i don’t mean that in a ‘submitting to the patriarchy’ way i mean it in a ‘the only thing i’ve consistently known i want in my future for my#entire life has been kids’ way#anyway. having a job where you’re the fifth most in charge person there and third on an average day. makes you evil fr
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