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wisdominfumbling · 3 months

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Taking accountability over actions.

My parents have always told me life is all about making desitions and hopefully making the right ones.. Now my dad specifically tells me that more importantly life is about making the wrong ones and learning from that. Learning from the pain, the suffering, the shame, the loneliness, the anxiety and so much more. At frist I didn´t understand when he would say that

¿Why would my own father want me experiencing those feelings?

Later on in life I have found the answer, cause he loves me and he wants me to be happy and life a full life, be a complete woman and in order for me to be that I have to have awful days and weeks, hopefully not months and years but you never know. Now I thought I knew what heartache felt like, a breakup, love related feelings but the truth is I have never been in love, never felt true relationship like love, out of my mind Romeo and Juliet love. I know guys have I´ve been with have felt that for me but I have never been able to reciprocate. ¿Why? I have a short (but still important) list of reasons:

Im immature, somehow I still believe in the perfect guy. tall, handsome (not pretty), smart, loyal, funny, pro family, respectful, athelic, good in bed, manly. And I blame my dad for that, he has always shown me that I deserve the world and the best and that everyone is replaceable and when someone doesn´t fit into one of those requirements I should leave. now the problem is that it really shouldn´t be like that. Im not telling you to settle for something lower but I am saying that some things can be fixed and you should focus on the core of the person. most important is that they have to be loyal, tall, pro family, have a job and respectful. the rest can be altered, I can style him better, cut his hair different, send him to the gym, show him tricks in bed. not so important things but the core should be top requirements for a boyfriend.

I only know how to obsess with guys, dont know how to love them.

Im scared of commitment, Im terrified of telling them everything and then im this vulnerable person and they´ll maybe do the same to me.

Im insecure, physically. im always gonna be comparing to other women specially the cute, thin, blonde ones. I always find them more feminine, prettier.

If there are more reasons.. i forgot them.

The point is, due to those reasons im not able to be in a relationship only situationships work until they start getting serious and i dip or do something to fuck everything up. And thats exactly what i did, if i can give you good and simple advice.. DO NOT DATE YOUR FRIENDS FRIENDS.. EVER. yes it can go really well but it also can go REALLY bad. and you dont want to go there, im telling you.

I was going out with my boy bestfriend´s friend, all good, he had more interest in me than i had in him, he asked me out we went out a couple times on dates, i stayed over at his house, all good (kinda, im not gonna get into the werid stuff that pulled me away) but even after i posted him on my story and people saw us out and about, i still got some dms of guys i used to talk to (and fuck) wanting to see me and stuff. This specific guy im kinda obsessing with dmed me and we talked. my situationship saw and yeah. so basically im a cheater, i fucked up and its been like a month and a half and i still cant get over it. i have so much guilt evenm tho my friends forgave me ? and told me i had nothing to worry about i still worry. i feel bad. i saw this great guy that cared for me, crying in his bed, asking me again and again why did i do it and i just didnt have a good honest answer to give him cause honestly i would end up causing more damage.

A month and a half and already fucked another person, I have been on a couple dates but i just cant seem to replace him yet. which is funny cause when we were a thing it seemed pretty easy to replace him. im also lazy cause if i wanted to be with the guy im obsessing with i could just take the metro and be there in a hour. maybe i feel guilty about seeing him too. fuck i feel guilty about seeing my friends too. i have only told three friends, my bestie that i called him the same day it happened and he helped me out a little but hes a guy so he didnt get it as much, my other guy friend and he was sweeter and told me to not worry and that everyone fucks up at a certain time but as long as i knew that it was wrong it was okay and that he had done much worse, and my other friend shes a girl so she understood better and was very sweet about it, i think they´re being sweet with me is because im the youngest and they can see the shame and the regret in my face everytime they see me.

I know that i shouldve been more straightforward and direct and just told him that i could not give him a relationship at the moment but i just didnt wanna lose on any side. i wanted to have him while having another other and not having any kind of limitation or whatever. I understand thats not how life works but sometimes i fool myself into believing that the universe loves me so mcuh that i get this "im gonna look the other way" treatment. i hope i can feel better now and start moving on with my life, i cannot be stuck on this for any longer. i know he is not stuck and i also know that we will see each other eventually and i want him to see me normal, even if i was the one that fucked up i dont want him to see me that affected.

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bornesorrow · 2 years

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listen, i have zero time cause of an event coming up this weekend and i’m technically still over on @ofsquadrons but i HAVE to get this out of my head. this may be preaching to the choir, but on the off chance it is not, here it is:

(under a read more because this is longgggggg and y’all might not want to read an essay about femininity)

i truly believe the reason why padmé is both so adored and ignored (or hated) in and out of universe (honestly the parallels are astonishing) is because of her femininity. those who dismiss her often seem to do so because of the visible signs of this: her appearance namely in both, but out of universe this idea that she is, on some level, vapid, that she thinks she can ‘fix people’. they think she is weak, that her connection to those around her is not as strong, not as genuine, as those of the men. now, this is not to put down the men (or more masculine women for that matter) in star w.ars because dammit, we DO NOT advocate for hypocrisy here. and i love them all, so if you think i’m attempting to put them down, shame. however, as often is, even in more female dominated fandom spaces, there is a focus on men, both masculine and feminine, (and if we’re lucky, more masculine women) at the cost of, at best, dismissal of anything outside of that.

padmé would not have been able to accomplish even half as much as she did without her femininity. no, not the aesthetics of that. not the clothes, though i may love them, not her beauty, which is undeniable, but what really is at the core of that, beyond the stereotypes of what a feminine woman looks like. femininity, at its core, strives to nurture. it wants to bring beauty into the world, for things to live and thrive, and it will do anything to create it. that, along with her humility, her compassion, and her vulnerability are all what makes padmé the force to be reckoned with that she is. yes, she is a politician with real power who can kick ass and take names, but that’s NOT what makes her a strong female character any more than just that would create a strong male character.

she wants the republic to live, to thrive, even as she recognizes its faults. and if you think she is blind to its faults, then you really must think her vapid. she knows them, has witnessed what they do to the beings she personally represents, let alone countless others. she’s the daughter of the president of the galaxy’s most effective refugee aid organization and has been involved since she could barely walk. she’s seen the worst, and she knows where those stem. but she also sees where, without what the republic should be, what the galaxy would become. so she pushes, constantly, uncompromisingly, for the republic to become that entity. she did that on naboo as its queen and continued to do so as the sector’s senator.

her humility, her ability to accept that she was wrong brings people over to her side constantly. that’s how she made friends in the senate, even amongst those who were afraid she was some sort of puppet of palpatine. it’s how she prevented rodia from siding with the separatists. it makes her friends out of people who are wary of her, as well as makes people willing to work with her.

however, her compassion and her vulnerability are what make people loyal to her. she cares, truly cares about what happens to beings across the galaxy, not just those in her sector. she fought for clone rights, for self determination, for freedom, for general sentient rights both for humans and non-humans because she cared. and for those she felt even a morsel of safety in doing so, she was vulnerable. she might hide things, but she would open herself to harm just so others could see her care, could see that she was just another being.

without these, she wouldn’t have known as this beacon of justice by both loyalists to the fallen republic and the empire after her death. they both would not have coopted her in their own ways for their messages without these key parts of her. and more importantly to her, anakin likely would not have fell in love with her at the very least the same way without them. padmé never thought she could fix him, but if she loved him, cared for him, allowed herself the tiniest of selfishness for once, maybe, just maybe, like she had with so many others, anakin might find the space, the support to grow into the person he wanted to be. and he probably would have if it wasn’t for palpatine mucking up everything she did.

padmé is the amazing, literally galaxy changing woman she is because of her femininity, not in spite of it. and any attempt to minimize or dismiss either the impact she had or the importance her femininity had in those is just sad, because it displays a fundamental misunderstanding not only of her character, but of what it means to be feminine.

#· ooc ╱ entranced by navy burnout silk velvet.#does this make sense? who knows #all i know is i feel very strongly about what feels like a trend of dismissing the strength of femininity and i've been #seeing so much recently especially regarding padmé in this regard #and it is infuriating #sure don't distill down to her being the tragic mother of the twins either but #man oh man why #go the entirely other way #?????#she is soft and she is kind and she could've lead the entire galaxy one day because of it #and if there isn't strength and power in that #what is there?

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imdreaminadream · 3 years

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The results pt 2 ~ what about it makes you cringe?” Category 3

( - prologue. - part 1 - category 1 - category 2 )

Okay so this is the results to the question in the quiz, What about it makes you cringe. In reference to the questionnaires core subject about smut fanfics.

Also quick psa there will be a part for the results for the other question - “In kpop fics, Korean words i.e. jagiya, seem to be a no no, would you like to elaborate why?”

Now note these particular results are going to be split into 3 posts because I decided to split the results into 3 categories. 1 - Writing Aspects. 2 - Personal Preferences. 3 - Genuine Problems. >This post is category 3<

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF - rape, minors engaging in sex, child pornography, childhood trauma, unsafe bdsm/kinky sex, misogyny?, toxic masculinity? anything else that needs to be tagged message me so I can add them.

DISCLAIMER BELOW. (please read that before continuing)

This is going to be a long post. The responses were very enlightening but please don’t take this as an attack. Consider this more as constructive cheat sheet to good smut writing or just ignore it if you don’t agree with it. Some of this did a bit deep apricate trigger warnings will be put on the appropriate posts but I’m not sorry it got deep fics can also affect real life as much as we wish it were something that didn’t mix in with real life, it does. I’m no official like sex guru or big-time writer, or what ever BUT I did add little advice underneath each answer, which are just a reflection of the people’s answers. Again if you don’t like the sounds of this don’t take it personal and click off.

Genuine problems

Rape territory - There was a common theme of people commenting about what is essentially edging into rape territory. This was talked about with both sexes, where one expresses, they’re not in the mood but the other just continues to make advances on them until they end up having sex. Everyone who spoke about it mentioned it comes across as coercive or forceful (which would be dubious consent, but I personally know how no one tags it as that because they don’t realize.) something that makes them immediately stop reading and knocks an author’s credit in their eyes. When a character is crying as though they’re not enjoying it, but the sex doesn’t stop and there is not safe word that is used.

No advice for this just use common sense.

Lack of tags which indicate trigger/content warnings - This only came up a handful of times but considering its importance I added it in here to talk about. The comments about it were straight forward as is the topic. Some authors aren’t tagging their work appropriately and it��s actually quite dangerous. You tag your work for a reason to let people know what is involved in it before they read, tagging everything is crucial. If something isn’t tagged you risk the reader, at the very least, the reading but then feeling discontent because it had something in they don’t like to read. Then at the worst you risk people’s mental health, you risk them having panic attacks, anxiety attacks because their trigger was in your fic but they didn’t know because it wasn’t tagged for them to see and know not to read because it could trigger them.

Advice for this is to bold things which you know for sure are sensitive topics, and make sure to tag everything in your damn fucking tag section. You risk people having panic attacks when you don’t tag your work right and they read your work only to find out it has their trigger included in it being blindsided because after reading your shitty tags they didn’t know but you put it in there. Also please don’t just tag smut, tag everything included in that smut because something works are tagged smut and then next thing you know person b is being choked, clothes cut by a knife, restrained with rope, told they’re a slut/whore.

They’re a minor - This also only came up a handful of times, not because people don’t care but probably because they don’t commonly come across it enough however this is incredibly important topic even outside of what about smut makes you cringe. This shouldn’t be a problem, as in it shouldn’t be happening as the people who commented, me and all of you know. They’re a minor, under 18, they’re technically still considered child in the law’s eyes anything sexual about them, like writing smut about them would be considered child pornography. “Things that persons under 18 are prohibited from doing - being depicted in pornographic materials.” No one even cares about “but I’m the same age as them uwu.” It still doesn’t make it right so don’t try and use excuses. Also, the minute a person turns 18 if your first thought is oh, I can write smut about them or request someone to write it for me please just leave that’s like preying on them as though you counted down till they were 18 and now the only value you see in them is for sex.

Mine and everyone else’s advice DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

Also, to note I don’t know what the official rules are for age swapping so like writing an adult person as a minor and depicting them in smut materials, to cope with your trauma, would anyone be open to talking to me about it, like educating me? There has just been this sudden wave more fics being, it’s okay to write adult that I made a child in my fic engaging in sexual content because it helps me cope with my trauma. It just seems everyone’s started saying that and I don’t know how many are being genuine or using it as an excuse or gone with the flow treated it like a trend. Not to be rude just genuinely how legit is this? How many people who write it have genuinely experienced that trauma? P.s if you have experienced that trauma, I am genuinely so sorry and know I am not disrespecting or invalidating your trauma I promise.

Female Characters/misogyny? - Now what this means is everyone expressed how they hate the constant portrayal that it only takes seconds for a female to reach an orgasm and she already wet to go like some kind of tap. They also highlighted a big problem with constantly painting the female as this innocent, dainty, dumb, naïve, shy, small, little girl. Women have brains too; women can give as good as they get and aren’t these shy naïve little playthings. All women have different personalities, the stereotypes about women in fics I’ve seen through the answers, and myself in fics, to my questionnaire is upsetting everyone. And you can see why, is it not bad enough we are subjected to misogyny and stereotyped in real life but now we have to see it in fics too. It genuinely does make people stop reading, it makes them cringe as the answers have suggested. One person mentioned this in their response, and I feel it should also be included, “y/n is absolutely okay with everything being done to her.” This isn’t something we should ever hear. This category feels like the right category to mention it so just consider their words, consider why that makes them cringe at smut writing that includes that.

To everyone the advice is a no brainer when you look at the responses. Make sure that the female character is actually getting turned on like into the mood before even thinking about mentioning that she is wet. And consider that a lot of statistics and personal experiences of other women stating it’s not all that easy to orgasm during sex, and not typical for her to come before the male, so make it sound like it’s worth the female characters while not that they do it for 3 minutes and suddenly she is coming.

Please also STOP with the constant bullshit of stereotyping of women as exampled above. If you like to feel small or submissive or whatever in the bedroom and you express that in your fics I get you but that does not mean you have to portray the female character as dumb, naïve, small, weak like for the love of god spice it up a bit, make her powerful, clever, with personality etc.… being in charge of her own body, knowing about her body, and what she wants and how to get it.

Btw no one is saying it’s not okay to be shy and that before you come in here like “why are you shaming shy, or small girls or dd/lg kink,” it’s not that I can assure you. We’re talking about the stereotype of it that is used to make the women seem more pliable for the man to control essentially not the genuine personalities/kinks people have.

Very passive sub female reader and overly dom male - Now many people spoke how an over macho dom male, and a passive - made out like they’re dumb, submissive female is a dynamic that is making them cringe now. It’s not a dynamic they care for anymore, and I agree with them especially considering the issues it brings about. “ Whenever the female reader is extremely passive and shy/flustered whereas the idol/character is extremely assertive/condescending/dominating/leading everything in comparison.” There is a personal preference to this yes# people acknowledged this, however when talking about this dynamic they further explained the issues with it. Overly passive female has already been touched on but to reiterate the replies insinuated they’re sick of seeing women in fics treated how they are in real life essentially – like some dumb little girl. One person said, “I like when the girl can give as good as she gets, though that’s just my preference.” So, like what has been discussed before this portrayal of females it absolute bullshit and needs to fucking stop being such a constant portrayal. (mind break is different so don’t start)

Then for the male side of things it’s enforcing the stereotype men are macho an alpha male, they don’t have feelings they just think with their dick and have all grr I’m super toxically manly do you ever lift bro, I’m so strong, I get all the bitches, fuck all the girls, the have control over the passive female and not in a consenting way, in an entitled way. Which no, they can have feelings, they can be softer more feminine all whilst still identifying as a man. They can be submissive just as much as a anyone else, they can be a switch or just a dom that isn’t this macho, macho, man. They can be needy, loving, caring, in touch with themselves, their feelings and everything the female character is made out to be, apart from dumb, naïve and weak of course, yano all those negative things any gender and non-gender people want to be associated with. If the guy wants to get railed by the female and be the sub in the dynamic of male x female, then fair enough let it happen there isn’t nothing wrong with it.

All in all, it’s okay for males to be more feminine than masculine and females more masculine than feminine. It’s okay to portray that in fics genuinely. I wouldn’t say I have any advice for this other than the obvious no more macho man and passive females.

Use of Korean words. - If you’re not a Korean person don’t think you’re in the right to argue about this. The Korean people have spoken up and you will listen and respect them. Know this is an important topic, however there will be a separate post for this, so I’ll keep this bit short to then expand on more in the separate post. Just wanted to make you the reader aware that this is an issue. It’s not okay to be treating noona, unnie and oppa like a kink if you are not Korean, or have Korean heritage. The people who are Korean so kindly explained, it was a normal word for them like just another part of their culture until bad egg kpop fans got their hands on it and they have now sexualized it to the point where some Korean people do not feel comfortable to even use it without thinking of the sexual connotation it has now been given.

Now like I said I will talk further about that and more, to do with the use of Korean words in fics, in another post, I don’t already have that post drafted so it might take a while to get out and post. However in that time I’m gladly open to hearing more people who are Korean and have Korean heritage, views on this. Or if you too have experience with a word from your language having been taken from being an innocent word to now having a sexual connotation as well because of people not from your country/culture having given it that sexual meaning. It could be helpful to further emphasis the point about the Korean words but also show overall no matter the language/country that it’s making the people of that country/culture uncomfortable.

Also I hope it doesn’t come across like I’m trying to speak over Koreans. If anything i want to be helpful more than a hinderance. This was something that was spoken about on the questionnaire so I’m just writing what the Korean people have expressed about it in the questionnaire. I want to be able to give their voices from the questionnaire a platform and shed light on this situation, with them.

Also can I ask if gender is a factor in this as well? I’ve seen on tiktok where some Korean guys like being called oppa but I’m not sure if that's in a respectful light or a sexual light, if they were being sarcastic for the Korea-boos or? but i have never seen women say they like being called noona in a way that comes across as a turn on? So can anyone comment on that? send me anons pls.

Too much degradation - Of course everyone who has mentioned this has said it is quite a personal preference thing, the acknowledge that it’s a kink not for everyone. Although on the flip side them relentlessly mentioning it give the feel that it’s becoming more of a problem and less of it’s okay it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You see they exampled “bitch, slut, whore.” It’s so commonly used, and they even said how they’re finding it not tagged majority of the time, so seeing that surprisingly in the fics constantly it makes them cringe but it’s not a type of thing one can get over it’s apparent it’s becoming a slight problem. It begs the question how much degradation is too much, why is it constantly being used in fics? Does everyone love labeling the female y/n a bitch, whore, slut? Why is the male y/n never called a slut as much as female y/n? Do females have more of a degradation kink than men?

I can’t think of any advice to give based on the feedback, apart from obviously add it to your tags that there is a lot of degradation but it there is anything anyone else wants to add on this topic feel free to re-blog with your take or send me anons.

Describing features on a y/n fic - A few people have mentioned this, and I categorized it as a problem because well it is because not only does it make them cringe in smut fics but also in normal fics and poc feel oppressed in yet another way. When it’s written as y/n it’s supposed to allow the reader to insert themselves into the fic to imagine themselves in there, yet it’s not always done like that. As one of the responses said, it seems authors like that tend to project themselves or their ideal selves onto y/n physical feature wise. More often than not as the responses have indicated y/n is portrayed as cis female, white, blonde, blue eyes, other physical traits such as breast size, dick size body type, height and hair length are portrayed too, which pulls the readers out of imagining because they’re being told they have features they don’t. It’s especially bad for poc because their race never gets portrayed in fics, so it gives the message white race is the most favorable and we already know how racist the world is no need to bring it into fics either unknowingly or purposely.

Moral of the story, stop racism, end it. Go educate yourself.

Moral of the story, in regard to fics, well don’t describe y/n thoroughly. Instead leave it as vague as possible, I mean it’s not even needed to know what eye colour y/n has when they’re in the middle of getting railed.

Quick intermission to just say make sure you tag what gender and pronouns y/n has for your fic, so people are fully aware what y/n they’re getting in this fic.

Nor do we need to know what skin colour they have, it can easily be mentioned that a character is touching y/n’s body without saying they have milky skin indicating they’re white. It is very possible to not give y/n a race. Also, height, keep height out of it don’t describe it because not everyone is 5’2. (hello yes, I’m 5’10 so imagine me reading character a of height 5’8 towering over me, I mean maybe if they wear heels yes but otherwise no.) Similarly, don’t ever describe body types, you can say an outfit flatters a person’s figure without describing it, people can have sex without their body being specifically described i.e., slim figure, toned shapely legs. Please understand that by not describing y/n you’re helping to contribute to racism, and these wacky beauty standards that are already being forced onto us in the real world never mind the fictional world.

Lack of safe word - Following on from kinks not being portrayed correctly there is the issue of lack of safe word. Now this is something that again didn’t come up quite a lot but that doesn’t mean it’s not an issue. Some are writing fics where one of the people involved, are being railed to high hell and it’s kinky as fuck or you’re writing a BDSM specific fic. Which is okay we are not judging or shaming but it’s concerning how with all this type of sex being had there is no even slight mention of the pairing having a safe word which is has the name would imply really important. It is there to keep the people participating in this kinky sex safe, without that it’s really harmful. Now if you think oh but writing in the discussion of safe words is really unsexy, especially when I’m just trying to make the characters fuck really kinky, then please go educate yourself. Safe words are incredibly sexy when you know it means you get to have bomb ass kinky sex but know that you can also have boundaries that should and will be respected, and a word or system i.e. traffic light system, to pause or stop when ever you need to in order to keep the kinky sexy safe.

The obvious advice is to incorporate consent and knowledge of safe word in your fic. It can be as simple as writing that the characters stop a minute for person a saying to person b you know your safe word. And then writing a small mini paragraph of person b feeling even more in love and/or turned on because their boundaries are being respected. Then you just carry on with writing the smut. You can imply easily that they have a safe word, that it’s been discussed, therefore they’re gong to be safe, respected and made to feel good.

Also, I know there are some people out there who are, a bit unsure on writing a fic in which one person uses their safe word. This is your friendly supportive message to just do it, don’t be afraid of what others think, do it for you it’s something great to write. There are many different ways you can go with it, so you do it if you want to 😊.

Honorable mentions of things that make the people cringe.

(Not a problem just as we are at the end of this category I figured I’d put honorable mentions. disclaimer again, these are other people’s comments from the questionnaire. You are entitled not to agree with them however do not attack me as some have been doing.)

fetishize people’s gender or race/ethnicity

uneducated use of other cultures to make it look authentic

Use of the word plum when they mean plump. One’s a fruit/colour, the other means having a full rounded shape.

PICK ME Y/N (we all know the type)

Stereotypes of all kinds. Of people, phrases, troupes etc.….

Written in a way it sounds monotone. i.e., “He did this, he did that, I did this.”

When all y/n does during a smut scene is whine. There are other synonyms people.

infantilization of y/n. stop making me feel like the person who the fic is about, is a nonce.

y/n is constantly oh so innocent. Like they can be a virgin don’t get it wrong. BUT we all know 9 times out of 10 y/n reads fanfic so they ain’t innocent.·

no refractory period.

try hard humour in the middle of smut.

terrible euphemisms

proper unrealistic dick sizes

adding in smut into a plot where it doesn’t fit

try hard

more to come potentially?

END OF CATERGORY 3

(Feel free to discuss in comments, in my messages or send anons or anything like that if you want.)

@nctsworld @lauraneuuh @jooniyah

Tag list:

@ceoofxiaojun @lovemayble @myelle-n

(@smutwritingpolice) (@smutwhy)

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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still same anon. this was another one of my asks from months ago. basically it was a comment I made about jikook's intimacy. it was from this interview: https://youtu.be/T--BOS8oTec the moment I'm talking about happens from 3:00 minute timestamp onwards. i was saying how despite this moment being "skinship" or whatever, it kinda hit different? there's also intimacy there. bc you see how jimin doesn't have to say anything and jungkook immediately understands what to do and starts massaging his neck. jimin literally threw a glance at him, tilted his neck a lil and jungkook didn't need a second more to know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about it since I know that you're not big on skinship defining jikook's relationship, but I think there ARE jikook skinship moments worth noting and this is one of them imo.

Oh ok. Thanks.

SKINSHIP IN CONTEXT

I think skinship by it's very definition is an intimate act depending on the level of familiarity between the parties involved in the act.

From my understanding of skinship, it's basically interactions that would otherwise be viewed as sexual outside of their culture but viewed as acceptable platonic behavior between the same sex or even the opposite sex.

The objective of skinship is to be intimate with another person on a level that's only next to romance.

I remember my sister telling me how shook she was when she found out for the first time, around 2011 when she first moved to Seoul, how she couldn't even keep her pants on at a 'Jimjirban' because all the gals in there were expected to walk around butt naked in the spa. No towels, no pants, no robes butt nakedttt.

'Mehn, this doesn't happen where I'm coming from' she said to her companion.

A. I'm black.

B. I'm not flat.

C. I'm wearing my pants.

Her very naked friend, a native SK, whom she says she'd only met for like a week, then grabbed her underwear and pulled it down her thighs exposing her deforested vagina to the winds and a dozen other curious gazes. All females.

'For a second, I thought I had been tricked into an orgy of a sort. I was very naked without my consent. Wind whistling through my shy butt cracks. Watching very naked females of varying ages stare on with pride and smiles on their faces as if I had just saved a village or something and when I jiggled when I walked I could hear them gasp, amazed- Goldy, how is this not gay?'

'You think skinship between their men is weird, wait till you see their women. Wait till a very attractive Korean girl is breathing down your neck and caressing your nape and complementing your skin while showing you pictures of her boyfriend on her phone.'

She says it took her a while to get used to the skinship between women in SK and seeing the men interact in a certain way messed with her brains for a while. She said she felt her intelligence was being played with most of the time.

I guess if you want to look at Jikook's skinship as intimate then there's nothing wrong it.

Skinship is intimate at the very least.

But skinship, for all intent and purposes, is platonic and nonsexual in nature. And maybe this is a fatal flaw on my part. Or maybe thanks to my sister, I'm desensitized to this form of interaction but I have a hard time seeing Jikook's intimacy as platonic or even seeing most of their skinship as romantic- in anyway. It will make sense in a bit, hold on.

I have a hard time equating skinship with romantic intimacy. But that's just me.

I wasn't able to click on the link you sent but I'm guessing this is the moment you are talking about?

I wouldn't call this skinship. I mean it is but I wouldn't call it that. Skinship is meant to show how close two people are. How familiar they are with eachother.

This doesn't show how close Jikook are. But It shows how caring and affectionate JK is as human being, as a dongsaeng, and as a boyfriend.

I'd rather we celebrate that. JK doesn't get highlighted enough. He caters to the people he cares about. He is an attentive person.

Hate to be a grinch but I can pull up a couple of times JK has done that very gesture with Jin or Tae or Hobi. Remember Soop? Remember when Jin complained of feeling cold and JK went up to him immediately and 'warmed' him up?

Of course, Jimin kept stealing glances at him like he could throw a shoe at the back of his head if he could but that's beside the point.

The man is an empath. He's said several times he feels a lot of pain watching his hyungs go through it. Fact is, Jk cares about people. He's kind, loving and he shows this aspect of him through gestures like these.

He does it for Jimin. He does it for all the members because as he's said, they are all a family.

It's stressful hearing people claim he doesn't give a fuck about Jimin, that he doesn't care about JM because he shows affections for others besides JM.

At some point we would have to make a distinction between what acts flows from their unique personalities because of who they are at their core and what act flows from them being a couple.

Most people who see Jimin as a natural nurturer and what not are able to separate this identity from his ship moments but JK isn't accorded the same privilege. It is why most people are quick to lash out at him when he interacts with others in the same way he interacts with Jimin.

When JM acts nurturing towards V or RM or Suga he is seen a good, kind person.

When JK does something affectionate it's seen as a beautiful Jikook moment or Taekook moment or Jinkook moment and is soon swept under the carpet, soon forgotten and never tied to the personality of JK- perhaps because most of these shippers don't care to know who JK is as a person and as a human.

When Jimin does something affectionate its 'awww Jimin is such an amazing person' even if that act is merely performative sometimes.

I try not to engage in conversations that perpetuate this horrifying discrimination against either of Jikook. They are both individuals.

There are a lot of Asks sitting in my box highlighting the various ways JM is awesome and kind and amazing as s boyfriend to JK and not a single out of 500 plus posts talking about how empathetic JK really is. How thoughtful he is to even pack motion sickness drugs to go on trips even though he doesn't get motion illness and JM is the one that often complains about motion sickness on trips.

The heteronormative lens, on opposite ends of the spectrum in the shipping community, which dictates we perceive on Jikook as either feminine or masculine is a telltale sign of the misogyny and misandry prevalent within this fandom.

The fandom's heteronormative lens filters Jimin as the wildly feminine archetype, wildly fragile, sexy and womanly right down to the way we praise him as the 'good woman' in his relationship with JK- loyal, faithful, nurturing, kind, silent in that he continues to perform Jikook even when Jikook are not in a great place. etc.

Yet because he is seen as womanly or feminine, the part of the fandom that hates women hate Jimin. That's where all the slut shaming, bullying and harassment stems from- misogyny.

Jk is viewed as the opposite of that. By most, he is very masculine man and as such harbors all the traits of masculinity the modern woman detests- toxic masculinity, cheating, disloyal, fuckboy who treats women like shit. All forms of hatred and intolerance towards men is projected on to him especially by male intolerant people or dare I say feminist women within the fandom.

And you see them in the way they are always fighting for Jimin against JK as if Jimin were a fragile faithful woman whose man don't treat him right thus further perpetuating the heteronormative stereotypes of Jimin.

What's disconcerting is Jikook are both men and yet depending on how their masculinity or femininity is perceived, they are both treated very differently.

You hear Tuktukkers talk about how Jikook is as a result of heteronormativity and thus prescribe Taekook as the ideal homonormative ship- because to them, Tae and JK are both seen as two whole men.

To them Jimin is just not man enough to even be gay- isn't that the foundation of homophobia?

Gay men not seen as men at all?

Whereas amongst Jokers, Jimin's manliness is often forgiven and JK's is abhorred. Jk is too much of a man and men just ain't shit.

This may sound like an over simplification but Tuktukkers hate women, Jokers hate men and either side suck. In my opinion.

Jimin is a nurturer he cares about people including his boyfriend. JK is an empath he feels the pain of those close to him including his boyfriend and is often moved to ease or take away some of that pain.

It's thus annoying to hear people out here yell and complain on every turn each time JK interacts with the others how JK 'doesn't act exclusive' with Jimin or how he doesn't care about Jimin.

Should he not care about anyone besides Jimin just because he is dating Jimin?

It's annoying when they say the same about Jimin. Jimin nurtures everyone ergo there's nothing special or exclusive about the way he nurtures JK.

Nonsense such as these are spewed without taking into account that those acts in themselves speak directly to who these people are as human beings first and foremost; secondly, to how they feel about the person at the recieving end of their affections.

If they are treating everyone the same it's probably because they love everyone too- in a non romantic way of course. It's their love language. They love others with the same heart they love eachother with.

It doesn't take away from how they feel about eachother. JK admiring another member does not mean when he admires Jimin it's nothing. It just mean he admires Jimin too.

Not everything has to be romanticized or given a romantic context. They are each expressing themselves and their feelings for their bandmates. It's about them not their bandmates or their relationship with said bandmates.

Certain moments are just attestation to their love language be it platonic or romantic and it says more about who they are as people than what their relationship with the other person is. It's not all about their relationship.

People need to start treating Jikook as individuals. They are humans first before a ship. Shipping them shouldn't take away from their authentic expressions of self.

That's how they each end up getting cussed out in these streets left and right.

It's ridiculous.

This is JK being JK. Imma leave it at that.

This is from the same interview where Tae was talking about how they love showcasing their bond.

It's ok to celebrate it. Just see it for what it is- as flowing from JK's kind self. This is not Jikook. This is JK. Jeon Jungkook.

Don't fume or act disappointed when you see him do the same kind gesture for another member just because of the meaning you are imposing on this moment. Know what I mean?

That being said, there are certain Jikook 'skinship' moments that crosses the line of skinship right into sexual foreplay.

If 'skinship' leaves you 'sexually excited' it's not skinship. Nobody can tell me nothing.

Make of this moment what you will. Just be responsible with it. I think. But don't mind me. I'm grumpy.

Signed,

GOLDY

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chattegeorgiana · 3 years

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Do you think it is a social phenomenon that the majority of SS fans are women?the ship has serious problems like mistreatment and attempted murder between Sakura and Sasuke and Sakura looks obsessive about chasing after a guy who rejected her multiple times and who treats her like shit but those fans always justify those actions of him and because Sasuke was considered twice in the entire manga then the other horrible acts of him do not matter to them.Why do you think this phenomenon would be?

I think it is. I think it's comparable to the social phenomenon we saw happening with 50 shades of gray for example.

In essence, they are terrible love stories. But people are drawn to it because well... you know that all saying?

Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll sell.

But no, really... While in 50 shades of gray the reasoning for which people fell for it it's different, in SS's case it's something different. Of course, there are 2 ways to view this. I'll look at the feminine side, since this is the one we're talking about.

In the feminine angle, it's that old traditional view that has been ingrained into women over and over again for aeons: that she's the one who needs to fix him, no matter his behavior. You don't wanna see how many cases as this I've seen over the years.

Big bad guy that can be saved by the power of love, as if that's all you need in a relationship. To hell with dynamics that work together. That's thrown under the bus. Or be accountable for your own actions and understand that it's not your job to fix someone else's behavior.

It's their own job - if it's the case of fixing in the first place.

But this angle does deeper, like I said in the beginning. It has its roots in this ingrained belief that has been offered to women for years and years and they still continue to do so in the media. Gladly, the world is changing, but still.

That kind of view is dangerous.

But because it's been ingrained for such a long while into the collective feminine, it's hard for even young girls to see that this thing is not okay. Because that's what the environment they are born in, raised and live shows them - you're a woman, thus, you need to respect your man and love him and fix him no matter what shit he does.

That's so outdated.

Another issue that's prevalent here is something that I don't know how many understand. It's actually something I discovered myself while watching a Tony Robbins coaching session.

He said this: rejection breeds obsession. That's when I understood best SS's dynamics and the reason people stuck to it so much.

It was something I was under myself when I first shipped them as I got into the fandom.

I didn't even realized it until years later.

Sasuke rejected Sakura's love multiple times. That's what turned her into this obsessive character. And I know I have some people that stalk my profile and are gonna come at me with all kinds of name calling, but... I'm sorry, even Kishimoto himself called Sakura obsessed over Sasuke in an interview after The Last.

When discussing about the love between NH & NS Kishi says:

“That’s right. But Sakura is addicted to Sasuke.” (laugh) “The reason why Hinata came to like Naruto is clear, but I’ve deliberately avoided writing down the reason why Sakura came to like Sasuke.” (laugh) “That’s because somehow, I had the feeling that it would conversely end up sounding contrived.”

And that's when I understood why.

Obsession and addiction are pretty much sisters in nature. Granted, there are slight differences between them, but their core is very similar: they stem from another deep seated issue. Something you can't make peace with. Something that is lacking in you thus you become addicted to it and obsessed in order to fill that void.

And I think I know what's in the case of Sakura, but I'll refrain from talking about now cuz I'm using it as a plot for Kaika. :D

But the point still stands: Sakura had a void inside of her that she tried to fill it with her 'love' for Sasuke. Only that she got rejected by him, and thus she became obsessed with the idea of Sasuke. With her idea of him though, rather than who he truly was.

Because you know what's interesting to observe as well? This is also based on what Tony Robbins said.

The full quote is this: Rejection breeds obsession, and whatever you resist persists.

I'm going to refer to the second part here. Whatever you resist, persists.

Well, in this case, she resisted the idea of the Sasuke who wanted to go to Orochimaru. Who chose that. But for as much as she resisted the idea (which is another way to say rejecting the idea), that state of affairs continued to persist.

Sasuke still went to Orochimaru. Even her declaration of love couldn't stop him.

Of course, this quote was said in a different context, but thinking about it in depth, you can see how it can be transposed to this.

So I think, in a way, the reason it so much persisted in the fandom was because many of the female fans identified with this side of Sakura, so they fell under the same trap the character did.

So you see, it's a rather complex situation here.

It's a deep seated issue which to resolve, you'd have to come to terms with. And to do that, there's a lot of introspection necessary.

Which I always wonder WHY it lacked on Sakura whenever it came to Sasuke, but when it was in terms of Naruto, she had a lot.

Well, I think it was there to show us something else, but then we got the ending that we got so then those themes were out the window.

It's a shame though.

Being a piece of media with a high focus on bonds, we could've had such great messages and lessons, yet it ended the way it did which isn't telling the right message at all.

But oh well, it is what it is.

#anti-sasusaku #sakura haruno

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erhiem · 3 years

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From left: Photo by Gi Naps/Getty Images; Photo by Rose Hartman/Archive Photos/Getty Images; Photo by Victor Virgil/Gamma-Rafo via Getty Images

Today, the House of Jean Paul Gaultier is relaunching its ready-to-wear line after a hiatus of six years. It comes 16 months after fashion’s “Maestro of Mehmed”, as journalist Georgina Howell dubbed her in the early ’90s, took her final bow as the brand’s designer, implying that this iteration of its namesake. will not be designed. Instead, the reins are taken over by a dedicated team from their atelier, with help crafted from the rotating doors of some of the most independent designers working today – Palomo Spain, Ottolinger, Nix Lecourt Mansion, Alan Crosetti and Marvin M’Tumo .

Since starting his own label in 1976, Jean Paul has been instrumental in turning underwear into acceptable outerwear, making sailor fashion sexy and, more generally, paving the way for designers to experiment with diverse and unexpected castings on the runway. have been responsible for. He also dedicated an entire collection – AW97 – to the fight against racism. The collection, titled ‘Fight Racism’, featured graphic prints of young anti-fascists with slogans printed on their chests.

In fact, with such a rich history behind it, and vintage JPGs becoming increasingly collectible since the recent renaissance—partly stemming from the Kardashians’ love of all things net—more thanks to the label’s revival. Couldn’t be the right time- the line to wear from now. Although it is a well-known fact that Jean Paul himself decided to step back from the category in 2014 after a somewhat tumultuous feud with Florence Tetier (graphic designer and co-founder). November MagazineNow serving as the brand’s creative and brand director, Ghar is poised to enter the field again. in an interview with WWDJPG’s general manager, Antón Gégy, described the relaunch as an opportunity to “celebrate Jean Paul Gaultier, its values, its archives and its history”. And what better way to raise the glass to the core of fashion? Horrible Instead look at seven of the most show-stopping moments from its most iconic era, the ’90s. Long live Gaultier!

Photo by Gie Knaeps/Getty Images

Madonna’s Conical Corset from the Blonde Ambition Tour, 1990

Back in 1989, when Jean-Paul Gaultier was told by an assistant that Madonna had told the audience, she was convinced that he was playing a trick with her. They knew how obsessed he was with her, just could not do be true But she soon found herself on the phone to the original queen of pop, making a match in ’90s fashion heaven. Naturally, Madonna already knew what she wanted: to create something for her that surrounded Jean Paul’s signature masculine-feminine crossover. Inspired by his love of the late ‘queen of Paris punk’ Edwij Belmore, Jean Paul conceived a pinstripe suit – the top of ’80s manhood – and a corset with the now famous conical bra, which he designed six years ago on AW84 had started for. /85.

Photo by Victor Virgil/Gamma-Rafo via Getty Images

Eva Herzigova’s cut-out dress, 1992

Thought harnesses were a new thing on the runway? Wrong! After all, you’re not known as a fashionista Horrible Without a sprinkling of kinks here and there, as this look proves well. Presented on JPG’s AW92 runway, this dress, so slick in its fit that clothes can even put on Eva’s body, exemplifies the powerful-yet-playful take on sexuality that serves as a throughline throughout the French designer’s body of work. runs as. Styled with bicep-clad opera gloves and proudly crafting the Czech-Italian supermodel’s bust, there’s a distinctive dome-y tone at play here, though no compromise on the beauty of the silhouette or the quality of the make. It speaks to an ideological throughline that runs through Jean Paul’s work – that no matter who a woman is or wants to be, she always has the right to be chic!

Photo by Pierre Guillaud/AFP via Getty Images

Houndstooth bodysuit inspired by Leigh Bowery, 1991

In an interview with iD in 2018, Jean Paul declared his love for the “London Way”, which means “just creating your own style, your own creativity and being free to do what you want to do”. When he took the idea back to Paris, it wasn’t very popular, but that didn’t stop him from creating his own trademark approach to design. He spent his youth in the 80s at famous London nightclubs such as Blitz and Heaven, where he met performance artist Leigh Bowery. In a nod to Bowery’s influence on fashion, Jean Paul sent down his interpretation of the Leigh Bowery Houndstooth bodysuit—which would later inspire Alexander McQueen for AW09 and Gareth Pugh for SS07.

Photo by Pierre Guillaud/AFP via Getty Images

‘Chic Rabbi’ Collection, 1993

For AW93/94, Jean Paul presented the ‘Chic Rabbi’ collection, inspired by the traditional dress of Hasidic Jews. Models in streamels and black suits danced to the sounds of a violinist who played live on the catwalk. The usual circle of supermodels was there, but Jean Paul also decided to cast someone who visually embodied the cultural context: a man with a big beard. During the ’80s and ’90s, designers were known for their casting choices, pioneering their diversity. “I’m fascinated by strong personalities, people who capture my imagination because they walk well down the street,” Gaultier explained in a 2014 interview. “Showing just one type of girl is a flaw,” he adds, “something I’ve always fought with. One kind of beauty – no. If I show a bigger girl, I’ll always show a younger girl.” will show.” It is now legend that Gaultier once posted an advertisement in a French daily newspaper release Looking for “atypical” models, saying that “facial distortions should not be avoided in application”.

Photo by Arnal/Garcia/Gama-Rafo via Getty Images

Mesh Tattoo Top, 1993

Back in 1993, the trend Declared this prestigious collection as “a startling vision of cross-cultural harmony”. While we’d be inclined to cringe at the somewhat reasonable look now that Jean Paul drove down the runway for the SS94 (which can actually be read as another nod to Leigh Bowery) it certainly Historical perspective. It also marked the debut of Jean Paul’s iconic mesh tops, which were inspired by a tattoo convention he once found himself spinning around – today, they are some of his most sought-after designs. The collection also includes heavy notes of punk, grunge, and 18th century men’s frock coats made in Jodhpur and denim in the typical JPG style. How did he ever find the place for all this?!

Photo by Pierre Vuthe/Sigma/Sigma via Getty Images

Björk!, 1994

Jean Paul’s celebrity friends don’t start and end with Madonna. A year after Björk’s properly titled debut solo album, First entry, Taking the music and fashion worlds by storm, she appeared on the designer’s AW94/95 show, about a magical train that stopped in a small village somewhere high in some mountains. And what, duh?! As you’d expect from JPG, the show was a mish-mash this time in terms of different styles of traditional arctic costume. The models trotted down the snow-covered runway (which almost tripped Kate Moss), decked out in a hell of a lot of fur, silk, wool, and leather.

Photo by Pierre Verdi / AFP via Getty Images

Op-Art Inspired Catsuit, 1995

Two women riding a motorcycle hit them. One of them descends and climbs onto a loft at a DJ booth. Jean Paul’s AW95 ‘Mad Max’ Show Has Started. As he was in the middle of designing the costumes for Luc Besson’s famous film fifth element In which Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich fight a mysterious cosmic force, they had science-fiction in mind, which means it was technology and cyber-heavy. The bodysuit inspired by Viktor Vasarelli’s op-art paintings became the show’s most memorable aspect—now made super collectible by Kim K and Cardi B and partly responsible for the JPG-madness we’re seeing on Depop these days. Also on the show was Carmen Dell’Orefice, who walked with a live falcon on her arm and sported ornate football armor that lit up like a circuit board. Really prestigious.

Photo by Victor Virgil/Gamma-Rafo via Getty Images

trompe l’oeil torso top, 1995

The next season, Jean Paul took his quest for sci-fi polka dots further, this time translating it into menswear. This time, however, he brought his knack for trompe l’oeil print placement to the table—skills he had previously flexed in the aforementioned Les Tautouzes, and even as early as 1992, when he sculpted the enviable Presented Printed Mesh Top with Toros. The look sported here by Tanel Bedrossiantz is perhaps a little more figurative in its approach, though no less direct is its infrared-style suggestion of what might lie beneath the longtime house muse’s button-down shirt.

Photo by Danielle Simon/Gamma-Rafo via Getty Images

JPG Set Sale, 1998

In a promo video for JPG’s new ready-to-wear line, Bella Hadid is wearing a big red ship on her head. In case you didn’t already know, it debuted at the Haute Couture SS98 show, where it takes us back to the Age of Enlightenment. It was a time of scientific progress, the advent of modern capitalism and of course colonialism. The ‘explorers’ were sailing around the world from Europe, ‘discovering’ new lands for them – a ship serving as a nod to the continent’s shameful past. Some say, however, that it was during the Enlightenment that the fashion we know today – as a form of self-expression that can be accessed by the public – first began to emerge, making the historical period a fashion show. became an ideal subject. .

Photo by Rose Hartman / Archive Photos / Getty Images

Man Himself!, 1992

Sure enough, to write a list of Jean Paul Gaultier’s most iconic looks from his most iconic decade, and not for the man himself. Indeed, as Florence Tetier spoke to her before the label’s launch, “Everybody knows who she is!” whether it’s his striped Whether paired with a pleated black skirt or, as seen here, a denim vest and a punkish tartan kilt, JPG’s personal style has made her one of the most instantly recognizable designers of our time. Plus, there’s a direct connection between what she wore and what we then saw on the runway. While we may have never seen a proper, French Navy-standard Sailor From the designer, “he’s done a lot of stripes and nautical-inspired pieces,” notes Florence. “It’s really nice to see the link between the way he dresses and the way he designs.” we love you, Jean Paul! Follow iD on Instagram and TikTok for more fashion.

The post Jean Paul Gaultier’s most iconic 90s moments appeared first on Spicy Celebrity News.

#IFTTT #WordPress

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anboringday · 4 years

Text

A Date With Lenny | Part 3

Pairing: Lenny Summers x F!reader/OC

Summary: Lenny and his lover spends some quality time together in Valentine. Head over heels for one another, things get heated between the two rather quickly ;)

Word Count: 3.9k

Rating: NSFW/Explicit

Read on ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Arms linked, Lenny and I sauntered out of the crowded saloon. It was a lively night in Valentine, a constant stream of interested visitors trotted through on horseback. Fellers loitered outside the stores, laughing and chatting boisterously. Penned pigs squealed, stray dogs panted in the heat, and chimes rung as doors opened. The noise and activity of the teeming little town was disorderly and loud, but not unpleasant. In fact, it was quaint. The people here were unfettered, spirited, and unapologetically free.

Normally, I felt rather small and out of place in the company of strangers, but with Lenny beside me, all my silly fears and insecurities melted away. He escorted me through town in his black brushed cotton vest and matching trousers, his shirt and neckerchief both a pristine white. And god, he looked damn fine too, putting every other man in attendance to shame. Ever so often, the women that crossed our path would stare, sometimes tripping over their own feet as they took in his remarkably handsome face.

But he was all mine, and I made it known to the world by keeping my arm hooked possessively around his. Occasionally rubbing his strong shoulders. Stroking his toned biceps. He’d return the affection by showering my cheeks with tiny, playful kisses as we strolled aimlessly along Valentine’s dirt road. We had no destination in mind, no grand plans, or schedules to keep. We were simply enjoying each other’s company, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Cradling a flask of whiskey to his chest, Lenny took a swig. “See, the saloon wasn’t so bad, right? We ate a full course, top-notch quality meal in absolute peace, undisturbed—no bar fights, and only a few drunken bastards got rowdy and ruined the mood. Usually it’s much worse.”

“We have to keep a low profile,” I muttered. “We’re lucky no one recognized you.”

“Have you forgotten that I am the living embodiment of luck—” He tripped over a rock and tumbled clumsily, landing on his backside with a rough thud.

My heart skipped a beat. “Lenny!” I hovered over him. “Are you okay?”

With the cutest, goofy grin plastered to his face, he patted himself down for injuries. “No broken bones…I’ll live, I reckon.”

His wide, bright smile was contagious. Holding the hem of my flowy skirt, I crouched to his level and surveyed him briefly. Besides being stricken with a bad case of the giggles, he seemed fine. “Of course, you’ll live. You have an obligation to keep breathing, Mr. Summers, ‘cause I wouldn’t last a day without you.”

“Is that so? I guess you’re stuck with me then…forever!” His arms enclosed around my waist, he tugged me to the ground playfully.

“Get off, you silly man!” With a hastily suppressed snicker, I squirmed about in his warm embrace. “Release me!”

“Nooo, you can’t get rid of me—not ever! You’re all mine. Just submit already, woman!” He attacked my cheeks with a frantic rush of kisses.

I smothered a chuckle from the sensation of his beard stubble brushing against my skin, but once he started tickling my sides, my voice rang up a scale and crackled hysterically. Whenever I tried to pull away, he’d draw me right back in, fragrantly fun, carefree, and mischievous despite the dozens of onlookers in our midst.

I tickled him back, and Lenny’s laughter was so jubilant, pure as the Heavens above, childish even despite his adulthood and masculinity. His mirth was like the summer sun and the stars at the peak of dawn. Whenever I heard it, no matter the time of day or weather, the world brightened.

Breathing in his tantalizing, uniquely familiar scent, I nuzzled my nose against his. “I love you.”

Stiffening abruptly, a rush of red stained his cheeks. His voice lowered, quiet and shy. “Hey, you’re making me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. There’s folks around—I’m not blushing, am I?”

“You are. It’s adorable.” I stood and extended a hand to him. “Now get up outta that dirt, silly.”

“C’mere, Sugar.” With a captivating smile, he lured me down to his level once again. He tipped his chin toward the sky. “Look at the stars, ain’t they pretty?”

Pinpoints of silver peeped in and out of the masses of gray clouds overhead. It was going to rain soon. I wiped the dust from my skirt. “You’re ruining my outfit, handsome.”

“What does it matter? I’m just gonna take it off you anyway.” He took another sip of his whiskey.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, cowboy.”

Music blared from the nearby saloon, a live performance it sounded like. There was clapping and cheering, a soulful feminine voice filled the air, blending in elegantly with the strum of stringed instruments.

Lenny’s brows shot up. “You hear that?”

I nodded. “It sounds lovely.”

He tossed his whiskey aside and rose, lifting me along with him. Taking my hand in his, he preformed a courtly bow, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “My lady, may I have this dance?”

“Dance?” My face heated at the proposal. “H-here?”

“Right here, right now.”

Filled with embarrassed discomfort, I lowered my head. “There’s an awful lot of people around, Lenny.”

“Don’t be scared. We’re in this together. Just focus on me, okay?”

Arms encircling my waist, he anchored me against him, swaying to the music. I was tense and on edge at first, I’ve never danced in public. Let alone in the center of town where just about every neighboring feller, woman, loyal steed, and child could take a gander.

But once his hazel gaze found mine, our bustling surroundings melted away. Hypnotized by the shimmering sparks of gold in the depths of his eyes, all I could see was him. The way his lean body glided with effortless rhythm and fluidity. How his muscles flexed and rippled with every slight movement beneath his shirt. Following his gentle motion, my arms slid around his neck. He was my world, and the moment was ours.

“We coulda done this in the saloon, you know,” I said.

“Maybe,” he mumbled. “I know going to that saloon in particular was my idea, but uh, honestly…I didn’t feel comfortable in there.”

“Why? Did one of those drunkards do something? Say something? I swear, if there are any inbred yokels around here, you just point me in their direction—”

“No, it wasn’t that.” He gave a shaky laugh. “Every fella in there was eyeballing you. It ain’t no crime to look but…” His voice trailed off.

I frowned. “I didn’t notice anyone was staring, I’m sorry—”

“Hey, don’t apologize for being the prettiest girl in town. You got all the women in the West green with envy and the fellas? They salivate over you like a pack of rabid dogs after a bone. And regardless of all that, you chose me. Feels like a dream. The best damn dream.” He dipped me back and kissed my temple. I held onto him as his full lips drifted to my neck, brushing over my sensitive skin. I closed my eyes on a moan when he caught the lobe of my ear between his teeth, the spontaneity of it all warmed my heart, and awakened a fierce ache between my legs.

With he straightened me, I was near breathless and dizzy. There was an applause, and whistling coming from over my shoulder. Lenny’s grasp on me was strong and clinging, as if I could slip through his fingers at any given moment. “You’re mine, I’m yours, and now everybody knows it.”

I flushed, perversely flattered and delighted by his possessiveness. “You know, this isn’t exactly what I’d call ‘keeping a low profile’,” I whispered.

“So, about that…” He grinned sheepishly, a boyish smile so cutely at odds with the wiry, solid sexuality of his body. “I ain’t the best at laying low, never have been. Everywhere I go, something or somebody starts kickin’ up a fuss and I get dragged into it. For example, some fool gets robbed—by no fault of mine, might I add—then that same fool gets brave and winds up with a bullet in his gut. And of course, being the law-abiding citizen that I very much am, I got no choice but to intervene.”

I smiled. “So, all this time you’ve been playing the hero? Everything the lawmen said about you was a lie?”

“The law ain’t never been fair or smart.”

“That much is true.” The sky rumbled, and the clouds began to shed some heavy droplets of rain. Folks began to retreat indoors, while a select few preferred to take shelter under the general store awnings.

“Well, there goes our audience,” Lenny said. “A real shame, too. I was getting used to the limelight.” He took off his brown leather cowboy hat and gave it to me. “Here, Sugar. For your hair.”

“Thank you.” I nuzzled my face to his chest. “We should go. The storm is only going to get worse.”

Seemingly unbothered by the rain, he tilted my chin up and settled his mouth on mine. A rush of warmth flowed through me, the soft sweetness of his kiss weakened my knees. Gradually, the pressure of his lips increased, and I surrendered myself to him. His tongue stroked slow and tenderly over mine. Our connection was wildly passionate and undeniable. I was so absorbed by him, possessed by his sweet love, I hardly noticed the drizzle running down our faces to where our lips connected. The cold rain mingled with the uniquely wonderful taste of him.

The working of his mouth against mine made me hot. Restless. I pushed a hand into his gloriously damp hair and sucked on the bottom of his lip, tracing my tongue over its perfect fullness, nibbling, gently pulling…

The sound of his groan was so satisfyingly deep and erotic, my core throbbed, uncomfortably wet. Lenny broke the kiss, his chest heaving. “Damn…what are you doing to me?”

I smiled innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Gripping my hips, he crushed me to him, the impressive package between his legs brushed my thigh. “I…I-I need to be inside you,” he confessed with some difficulty. “I’m aching.”

Moved by the extent of his longing, I stood on the tip of my toes and reclaimed his lips, my palms sliding all over his lethally sexy body. We were drenched in the chilly, pouring rain, but not even the forces of nature could keep my hands off him. “There’s a hotel next door,” I said between kisses.

Lenny nodded an assent and lifted me off my feet, my legs hooked around his waist. He carried me across the road and through the hotel’s swinging doors. The lobby was empty.

“I’ll be just a minute!” a voice I presumed to be the receptionist called out from down the hall.

Still holding me in his powerful arms, Lenny leaned against the front desk as we made out with reckless abandon. The soul-reaching massage of his lips sent shivers rippling up my spine. Raising my skirt a fraction, his hips started moving, the hard length of his cock grinding sinfully against me through the confides of his pants. Oh, god…a deep hunger stirred inside me. I had to have him—all of him—and it had to be soon. Or else I’d go crazy.

I held onto him for dear life, trembling from the hot, delicious friction. I didn’t care who was watching. I was way past the point of shyness, the primal desire to be fucked by this beautiful outlaw was at the forefront of my mind. It was all that mattered.

My skin burning hot and flustered, I whimpered. “I want you, Lenny.”

Muscles tense and visibly shaking with lust, he uttered huskily, “Fuck, I want—I need you.”

I buried my face in the crook of his corded neck, ravaging his skin with love bites and licks. “How bad do you need me?”

“Real bad. More than anything. I’ll beg if I got to. I’ll plead. I’ll get on my damn knees right now.” He swallowed deep, his expression tight and eyes smoldering. “If we don’t get a key soon, I might just bend you over this desk and fuck you right here.”

I trembled. It sounded like a threat as much as a promise, the scorching intensity of his words so unlike him. He was losing his composure, the desire stripping away his inhibitions and calm, sweet-tempered mannerisms. Only I could do this to him. It was a major turn-on and confidence boost.

“Here I am!” the receptionist finally arrived, scrambling into his rightful place behind the desk. His presence was a blur, I was too preoccupied enjoying the softness of Lenny’s lips. I could probably come like this, just by kissing him if we went at it long enough.

“Good Lord Almighty!” the receptionist gaped at us. “You kids need a room immediately! Luckily for you, we have one available. Just one. It’s been a big night for tourism, with that band of fancy folk from Saint Denis parading through town, playing their music and causing a ruckus. I don’t understand how anyone can get anything done with all that darn noise and commotion—”

Lenny shoved a hand into his satchel and flung a couple dollars at the chatty receptionist. It stopped his ranting, thank goodness.

“Second floor, first room on your right.” Once he passed over the key, Lenny whisked me upstairs. Heedless of everything and everyone, our hot, lingering kisses didn’t break as he fumbled with the lock. A moment later, the door opened, and we were inside a dimly lit room bathed in candlelight, rain softly drummed against the windowpanes.

Lenny dropped me on the bed. I reached for his vest and ripped it open, the buttons scattered across the hardwood floor. “Get naked, cowboy.”

He laughed, shrugging out of his shirt and suspenders, and then unbuckling his gun belt. I ran my hand down his chest in awe. His deep brown skin illuminated by the warm, flickering light, he glowed like flames piercing the darkness, radiant with transcendental beauty and mystery. I wanted him so bad, it hurt.

I nuzzled my face against the solid ridges of his damp, god-like abdomen. “Christ, why are you so perfect?”

“Perfect?” He pinched my cheek playfully. “Aw, you really think so? Arthur told me the same thing once, but he was drunk and vomiting in a pig pen outside the saloon when he said it—”

“Lenny…” Grinning, I swatted his hand off my cheek. “You’re ruining the mood.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Flashing an apologetic smile, he tossed aside the wet hat on my head and helped me out my clothes with gentle finesse. I went for his zipper, freeing his thick cock. My mouth watered. He was rock-hard, and throbbing. I traced the flat of my tongue along the heavy veins coursing his length, slow and worshipfully.

He fisted my hair, restraining me just before I took him into my mouth. “Nuh-uh, Sugar. That can wait. Lay down.”

My brows raised. Apparently, Lenny was in charge tonight. I obeyed, curious of what he had in store.

The heat and clean, woodsy scent of his body took my breath away once he came down on me. “You’re beautiful.” He plumped one breast in his hand, kissing my neck, his lips grazing back and forth over my tender, flustered skin. I squirmed from the heady sensation. My legs locked around his hips, silently urging him to make love to me already. Near mindless with need, I struggled to find my voice, to formulate words. All that slipped from my throat was tiny, helpless whimpering.

He took himself in his hand and stroked my slick entrance, the soft nudges of his cock head agonizingly teasing. I arched my hips, my body straining toward him, desperate for a connection. He was making me wait, avoiding my clit and somehow resisting the temptation of fucking me despite my pleading.

“Lenny, please. What are you waiting for?”

“Hush now,” he said. “You’ll be ready for me soon.”

“I’ve been ready for you for the longest. Since this morning.”

He nipped my neck, sucking feverishly. Surely leaving a mark behind. Inflamed and trembling in distress, I rolled my hips against the rigid column of flesh he so cruelly teased me with. Patiently, he coaxed me to the brink of insanity. I was soaked in my own wetness, creaming madly for the feel of him inside me.

Raking my nails across his back, I pulled him closer. I needed him to fuck me more than I needed my next breath. “Now,” I gasped. “Need you now.”

With an expert shift of his hips, he pushed into me hard, and so pleasantly deep.

“Oh, God, yes,” I moaned, shuddering, clenching around him. Finally. Warmth struck my heart. I’ve been waiting for this for so long, too long—

“Don’t come,” he murmured, his palms slipped under my hips and cupped my behind, squeezing.

“Excuse me?” I was so close to the edge already. How the hell did he expect me not to go off?

“Good things come to those who wait. It feels so much better in the end.” Lenny started to move, his thrusts lazy and tortuously slow. “Can you do that for me, Sugar? Can you make it last?”

The cadence of his soft-spoken, drawling words sounded so sweet in my ears, so delicate. A fierce ache struck my chest. I was hopelessly in love with him, and more than willing to submit to his every need and request.

“It’s not fair,” I mumbled, my vision blurred with tears. “You have no idea how good you feel inside me.”

“Trust me, I-I do.” Lenny’s leisurely rhythm came to an abrupt halt, his body shivered violently. Jaw clenched, a groan slipped through his lips, tension contorted the gorgeous features of his face. Holding back seemed to be affecting him as well.

Quickly regaining his poise, he resumed screwing me. Lenny knew my body so well, all the tender spots that demanded attention and how precisely to stroke them. It was all muscle memory to him at this point. Over and over, his cock rubbed the bundle of quivering nerves clenching, aching for his touch.

Gripping the sheets with white-knuckled force, I smothered an upsurge of sobs, thrashing against the overwhelming need to climax. I was burning from the inside out, our bodies sticky with sweat. Trembling uncontrollably, I couldn’t hold back for much longer…

“Don’t come,” Lenny repeated. “Make this last. Just hold on.”

“I c-can’t. It feels amazing. Jesus, Lenny…” Tears escaped my eyes. I was falling apart, utterly and irreversibly lost in him. “I love you. I-I love you so, so much…”

He kissed away the tear tracks on my face. “Hold me. Don’t you let go.”

I released the covers and clung to him. His heavy-lidded gaze snagged with mine, searing into me. He sighed heavily, from pleasure, tension, or both—I couldn’t tell. His hips still surging at a moderate, deliberately restrained tempo that was driving senseless, I blurted, “Slow down. Please. I’ll come if you don’t slow down.”

“Will you now?” A wicked smile pulled at his lips. “I thought you wanted to come, Sugar. Why the change of heart?”

My back arched as his hold on my behind grew bruising. He lifted my hips into his thrusts, and I cried out, my core boiling and tightening with a pressure so severe, I feared I’d snap in two if I didn’t give into my bodily cravings soon.

“I won’t come,” I panted. “Not—not until y-you say so.”

His hazel eyes softened, sympathetic almost as he watched me quiver helplessly beneath him. One hand clasping the side of my face, he kissed me with a heartrending tenderness, his tongue caressing mine. Yes.

“Come for me,” he fucked me harder, dominating my body, although his voice was honeysweet against my lips. “I need to feel you…”

With his permission, an orgasm erupted inside me like a volcano, molten pleasure spreading from my core and overcoming the entirety of my body in a scorching wave. It was remarkable. Explosive. Unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I let out a shrill cry, writhing under Lenny’s sweat-slick muscles. His name spewed repeatedly from my lips as he fucked me into blissful oblivion.

The climax surged on and on. I was melting, drowning in the immense ecstasy of being loved by him, pleased by him. He was my everything, and without him I was empty and hollow. I could die in his arms right now and regret not a thing, because I’ve never truly lived a day until I met him.

The connection we shared was incredibly intense, inside and outside the bedroom. But when we were making love like this, intimately linked, giving and receiving pleasure from one another like our lives depended on it…our bond felt unbreakable. It was frightening how deeply I adored him—an outlaw. A man the law wanted strung up by a noose…

A muscle twitching in his jaw, he rode out my climax until the clenches faded; then he slowed down his pace, burying himself inside me languidly. He sucked in a harsh breath, eyes dark and dilated, his strong body convulsed furiously. He was teetering on the edge of an orgasm, still denying himself the pleasure he’s been working toward all night long. The glaring self-control and perseverance Lenny emanated was something to be envied.

I gathered his hair in my hands, kissing the side of his damp throat. “You’re shaking, handsome. Do I feel that good?”

“Yes,” he rasped, pounding into me erratically, his balls slapping against the curve of my behind. “Oh shit, yes.”

A bead of sweat dripped from his chin onto the corner of my lip. I slid my tongue along his sculpted jawline, collecting the saltiness with a soft murmur of satisfaction. He tasted so good, and the scent of his lust smelled even better.

“Why don’t you come inside me, cowboy?” I teased, my voice husky. “You know you want to.”

He clasped the nape of my neck, his gaze burned into mine. “Do you want me to?”

I had just as much control over his body as he did mine and I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, Lenny. Come.”

With a serrated groan, his beautiful cock jerked, spurting hotly, flooding me with his heat. His hips ground against mine, he emptied his load as deeply as he could inside me. I don’t know how long we laid there holding each other, spent and panting. Eventually, our breathing steadied and our bodies cooled.

“Leonard Summers!” a rugged voice shouted from outside, piercing the calm serenity of the rain. “We know you’re in here! Give yourself up, boy, there ain’t nowhere left to run!”

Lenny shot up from the bed.

Still wrapped up in a sex-induced daze, my brain struggled to comprehend what the hell was happening. Lazily, I sat up, covering my exposed breasts with the sheets. “What’s going on?”

Lenny inched to the window and glanced furtively though the blinds. “Lawmen,” he winced. “A lot of ‘em.”

I shivered, my heartbeat sped up. “You��re joking. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish I was, Sugar. Maybe you were right—coming ‘round here was, in fact, a real bad idea.” His teeth gleamed in a lopsided smile, confident and reassuring despite our unfortunate circumstances. “So, uh…you know how to handle a gun, right?”

My eyes widened. Oh no…

#lenny summers #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdrwriting #rdr fanfic #arthur morgan #red dead #red dead redemption #rdr fandom #romance #lenny summers x reader

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budugaapologist · 5 years

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when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

#edward #ac4 #i talk #assassins creed #im tired #and im tired of it!#im not saying to make fun of arno's alcoholism btw #just... just because edward tends to behave a little happier doesnt mean he is #both these men are depressed but like fuck mental disorders i guess

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 years

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Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020

Today's links

Ripping the window-dressing off the .ORG selloff: It's not even an ethos.

CDC guide to filter-mask-friendly facial hair: You're good to go with a Zappa, Villain or Hitler, but stay away from the Dali, Hulahee and the dread F(l)u Manchu.

Don't trust Google to build Toronto's Smart City: Sidewalk Labs's sleaze has disqualified it.

A "girls-only" social service wants to analyze your facial bone structure: "It's science!"

Norman Rockwell turned into a radical civil rights activist: His last painting was of Nixon, too.

Gmail's filters are blocking opt-in election emails: Mayo Pete and Andrew Yang are winning the spam-filter primary.

Talking Radicalized with The Next Chapter: Shelagh Rogers is a national treasure.

Neoliberalism kills, the coronavirus edition: And you thought capitalism would kill us all with climate change!

Bernie Sanders and Public Enemy LA rally this Sunday: With Sarah Silverman and Dick van Dyke!

Venezuelan women's "army" break into dead factories to reboot them: "Only the people can save the people."

Meet Akil Augustine, voice of the Raptors…and Radicalized: A fighter in my corner.

This day in history: 2019, 2015, 2005

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

Ripping the window-dressing off the .ORG selloff (permalink)

The latest on ISOC's shameful attempt to flog off .ORG to a group of sketchy billionaires: Ethos Capital's promises concerning its stewardship are pure window-dressing.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/02/empty-promises-wont-save-org-takeover

Its binding promise not to increase prices for .ORG domains? Still allows it to DOUBLE prices in 8 years, then allows UNLIMITED increases afterwards. Its "Stewardship Council"? Handpicked by Ethos's own bagmen, & only empowered to rule on very narrow questions of de-anonymization and censorship, AND Ethos can simply ignore its rulings by declaring them to be required by a government or consistent with anti-abuse policies.

In an open letter in the Nonprofit Times, Cindy Cohn of EFF and Amy Sample Ward of NTEN break it down:

https://www.thenonprofittimes.com/npt_articles/commentary-org-still-wouldnt-be-safe/

"Your proposal cabins the council's authority by placing anything construed as 'advice or recommendations regarding day-to-day operational, financial or budgeting matters, or pricing out of bounds. It would be trivial to categorize harmful practices as 'operational.'"

CDC guide to filter-mask-friendly facial hair(permalink)

The CDC has an infographic enumerating the effect of various styles of facial hair on filtering respirators.

You're good to go with a Zappa, Villain or Hitler, but stay away from the Dali, Hulahee and the dread F(l)u Manchu.

https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/npptl/pdfs/FacialHairWmask11282017-508.pdf

Don't trust Google to build Toronto's Smart City (permalink)

Google is planning to turn a vast swathe of Toronto into a high-tech "smart city" through its Sidewalk Labs division. They've been incredibly misleading and opaque about their plans, and yet the city keeps greenlighting through successive phases.

The latest phase is the publication of the Digital Strategy Advisory Panel's report, a wide-ranging critical report from technologists and tech experts on Google's plan to instrument the city and extract its data.

https://quaysideto.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DSAP-Supplemental-Report-on-Sidewalk-Labs-Digital-Innovation-Appendix-DIA-Appendices-FINAL.pdf

It's pretty sharp stuff. Michael Geist's introductory letter gives a taste of things.

https://quaysideto.ca/blog/dsap-releases-supplemental-commentary-on-the-digital-innovation-appendix

But far more pointed is Andrew Clement's Appendix D, a kind of minority report that makes it abundantly clear that Google has totally disqualified itself from this project.

Question One: Does Sidewalk have a strong track record as an urban innovator appropriate for Toronto?

Short answer: No

(Sidewalk lied, omitted other projects that were terrible, and literally followed a grifter's playbook called "BOLD")

Question Two: Can Sidewalk Labs' core claims be relied on?

Sidewalk "consulted" with 21,000 Torontonians, but it hasn't shown that it's willing to take any of that consultation advice to heart ("corporate self-defense").

Sidewalk claims it's not "tech for tech's sake," but the whole plan reeks of it.

Sidewalk claimed it's not about extracting data, but the plan is totally about extracting data.

Question Three: What does experience with Sidewalk to date in this project indicate about its reliability as a partner? In particular, has Sidewalk respected its contracts and other commitments?

Nope. For example, it held its expert panel to NDAs after promising it wouldn't.

Question Four: Can Sidewalk be treated as independent of its parent Alphabet/Google and its wider enterprise?

Obviously not! "In business strategy, financing and overall managerial control, there are clear indications that Sidewalk is unlikely to diverge from Alphabet/Google."

"Nearly all Alphabet revenues are earned by Google and they have the same CEO, Sundar Pichai, and same CFO, Ruth Porat."

Question Five: What are the risks of partnering with an Alphabet enterprise?

"It has been fined a combined $9.5 billion since 2017 by EU antitrust regulators while facing further significant government investigations for its anti-competitive behaviour."

"It will be challenging to make a positive determination absent public evidence of a thorough, independent risk-benefit analysis of the prospective partnership or other contractual relationship."

A "girls-only" social service wants to analyze your facial bone structure (permalink)

Well, this is the most "now you've got two problems" moment in recent memory. "Giggle" is an all-girl social network. To be "all-girl" they have keep men off of the platform. How do they do that? With FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE scans.

"It's science! Just like archaeologists do with mummies."

JFC.

The impulse to start a girl-only social space is a potentially fine one, but deploying what amounts to eugenics – heavily borrowed from the incel movement's obsession with facial bone-structure – is idiotic.

"Unfortunately it doesn't verify trans-girls."

No shit. Also, it doesn't verify people whose bone-structure fails your digital phrenology tests. And it WILL verify men and boys who generate false positives in the system.

https://pipedreamdragon.tumblr.com/post/611048332070109184

I can't believe I need to say this, but: The goal of making girls feel OK with who they are cannot be attained by subjecting their facial bone-structure to algorithmic femininity assessments.

Norman Rockwell turned into a radical civil rights activist (permalink)

I hadn't known that at the end of his career, Norman Rockwell became a political radical, breaking with the Saturday Evening Post over his desire to depict the civil rights struggle.

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2020/2/19/21052356/norman-rockwell-the-problem-we-all-live-with-saturday-evening-post

Writing in Vox, Tom Carson describes how Rockwell's personal tragedies – the death of his wife – and the advice of his therapist helped him transform into an acerbic, radical painter, the opposite of who we remember him as.

Switching from the Post to Look Magazine, Rockwell depicted such subjects as 6-y-o Ruby Bridges being escorted into an all-white school by federal marshalls who led her past howling mobs of white supremacists.

He went on to paint a depiction of the imagined last moments of civil rights workers Mickey Schwerner, Andrew Goodman, and James Chaney, who were tortured and murdered by white nationalists.

http://www.nrm.org/MT/text/MurderMississippi.html

A staunch anti-war activist, he pestered LBJ with an endless stream of telegrams demanding negotiations, not bombings, in Vietnam (ironically, he voted for Nixon in the hopes that he would end the war).

Further irony: the last substantial painting he completed was of Nixon after his election win: "This time around, he managed what he'd once said was impossible. His subject looks like a nice man who is, nonetheless, unmistakably Richard Nixon."

It's the only Rockwell painting in the National Portrait Gallery.

https://npg.si.edu/object/npg_NPG.72.2

Gmail's filters are blocking opt-in election emails (permalink)

Gmail's spam filters perform very differently when it comes to fundraising emails from Democratic leadership contenders: Mayo Pete evades filters 63% of the time, Yang lands 46% of the time. EVERY Warren campaign email tested got filtered to spam.

https://themarkup.org/google-the-giant/2020/02/26/wheres-my-email

These are all emails that Gmail users have opted to receive, too, but most are filtered to the "promotions" inbox, rather than "primary." In all only 11% of emails from "candidates, think tanks, advocacy groups, and nonprofits" reached primary.

It's turning email — the last federated platform on the internet — into Facebook, a filternet whose rules are set by unaccountable algorithms operated by a secretive monopolist.

Goog has a conflict of interest here: "While Gmail does not sell ads in the primary inbox, advertisers can pay for top placement in the social and promotions tabs in free accounts."

This was Facebook's media-killing strategy: when you started your media outlet's FB presence, the company delivered 100% of your posts to your followers, then, once you depended on that, it dialed delivery down unless you paid for "reach."

The pretense of Big Tech is that you they connect you to the stuff you ask for (this is also the premise behind Net Neutrality). The reality is that they decide, unaccountably, invisibly and inexplicably, what you may see.

While the overfiltering might in error, it's an error Goog is incentivized to wontfix: "'You're not precluded from buying an ad in the promotions tab, or offering a deal,' said Lee Carosi Dunn, who at the time led election sales, political outreach and policy for Google."

Talking Radicalized with The Next Chapter (permalink)

My book Radicalized is a finalist for Canada Reads, the CBC's national book prize

https://www.cbc.ca/books/canadareads/meet-the-canada-reads-2020-contenders-1.5433115

That means all kinds of good stuff, but one of the highlights was talking with Shelagh Rogers for The Next Chapter. I grew up listening to Shelagh, and she's so incredibly smart about books.

The interview came out great! (How could it not, given the interviewer). We ranged widely over "Canadianness," "Americanness," literary forms, anxiety and creativity, and the substance of the stories themselves.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thenextchapter/full-episode-feb-22-2020-1.5469642

You can get the MP3 here:

http://16523.mc.tritondigital.com/CBC_THE_NEXT_CHAPTER_FROM_CBC_RADIO_P/media-session/fecd5192-14ef-43b6-b9a7-7c125875d93b/nextchapter-0I9Y1liD-20200226.mp3?ttag=season:12

It's also been included in my podcast feed, which you can subscribe to here:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

Neoliberalism kills, the coronavirus edition (permalink)

Neoliberalism kills, a play in two acts

Act I: UK employers are not required to offer sick pay to asymptomatic potential coronavirus carriers, even if those workers' doctors have ordered them to "self-isolate" to avoid spreading pandemic.

https://memex.naughtons.org/self-isolation-and-employee-rights/28723/

Leaving workers with a stark choice: perform your duty to the public health and lose your wages or even your job, or turn up for work and infect your co-workers and customers.

Typhoid Mary vs Moral Hazard in action, there.

Act II: Alex Azar, the US Health and Human Services secretary, has ruled out price controls for a coronavirus vaccine, arguing that pharma companies need "incentives" to produce.

https://twitter.com/mmcauliff/status/1232784696792297472

"Alex Michael Azar II (/ˈeɪzər/ born June 17, 1967) is an American attorney, politician, pharmaceutical lobbyist, and former drug company executive who serves as the United States Secretary of Health and Human Services."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Azar

This former pharma lobbyist, whose industry gobbles public subsidies like a tweaker gobbles bennies, firmly believes that his once-and-future paymasters must be permitted unlimited gouging, and if they choose to leave those who can't pay to die, that's "the market."

Lambert Strether, 2014:

"I propose two simple rules to which neo-liberalism can be reduced. They are:

"Rule #1: Because markets.

"Rule #2: Go die!"

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2014/03/neo-liberalism-expressed-simple-rules.html

It turns out that all those people who thought late-stage capitalism would exterminate the human race through climate change were wrong! It's going to kill us all with pandemics, instead.

Herd immunity has a well-known leftist bias.

Bernie Sanders and Public Enemy LA rally this Sunday (permalink)

Angelenos! Bernie Sanders is doing a gig with Dick Van Dyke (!), Sarah Silverman (!!) and Public Enemy (!!!) this SUNDAY (Sunday Sunday Sunday!) at the LA Convention Center.

Admission is free, but you need to RSVP here. Doors open at 3, rally starts at 5, ends at 7. Word of warning: the last Sanders rally I attended (in 2016) started REALLY late, like 2h.

https://events.berniesanders.com/event/252466/

Campaigning presidential candidates have hard-to-predict schedules apparently (but warn your babysitter).

Venezuelan women's "army" break into dead factories to reboot them (permalink)

The "Productive Army" is a Venezuelan women's collective that has been operating since 2017. They visit shuttered factories, get workers to explain what's needed to reopen them, break in and start them up again.

https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.elsaltodiario.com%2Fmapas%2Fbatallas-ejercito-productivo-obrero-venezuela-guerra-no-convencional

They organize themselves like military units, with captains, etc, and the units generally have to beg their bosses for time off to roam the country, putting it back on its feet. Operations typically run for less than a week, and incorporate weekends to minimize time off.

They describe themselves as carrying out the Chavismo doctrine of "workers' control of factories," which even Chavez largely treated as a slogan, and which his successors have been even less committed to.

They remind me of the elite Chinese students whom Xi ordered to read Marx and Lenin, who then decided Xi was a bourgeois sellout and took to the road to support wildcat workers' strikes against Xi-aligned factory owners.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/28/world/asia/china-maoists-xi-protests.html

The Productive Army's slogan is "Only the People Can Save the People." Its missions are "productive battles." A productive battle might involve repairing the furnace in a sardine canning factory to get it running again, then turning it over to workers: "In the EPO they say that they not only repair machines but, above all, consciences."

One of the crispest definitions of "rightism" came I've heard came from Steven Brust: "Ask them what's more important: property rights, or human rights? If they answer, 'Property rights are human rights," they're on the right." (I quoted this in Walkaway).

When people want the things the factory produces, and workers want to produce those things in the factory, but the spreadsheet says the factory isn't viable, the problem is with the spreadsheet, not the people.

Meet Akil Augustine, voice of the Raptors…and Radicalized (permalink)

In the #CanadaReads national book prize, each book gets a "champion" – a defender who speaks for the book in a series of televised debates. My champion is the incredible Akil Augustine, voice of the Toronto Raptors.

Akil and I met in Toronto last month when they announced that my book Radicalized was a finalist for the prize, and the CBC sat us down for a rollicking joint interview.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duL6rZeNJY0

I love that Radicalized connected with Akil, given how divergent our interests are (I can't even name a single basketball goalie!). I love even more how competitive he is. As someone who grew up at hippie summer-camp playing "co-operative volleyball" I'm very grateful to have a fighter in my corner who plays to win!

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago Halle Berry accepts "Razzie" for Catwoman, calls it a "piece of shit" https://web.archive.org/web/20050306093431/http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?storyID=7748301&type=entertainmentNews

#5yrsago Mass surveillance hip-hop from the director of the Bill of Rights Defense Committee https://shadowproof.com/2015/02/26/after-hearing-capitol-police-arrest-lawyer-for-shouting-question-at-clapper-about-nsa-surveillance/

#1yrago Bunnie Huang's tour-de-force explanation of how hardware implants and supply chain hacks work https://www.bunniestudios.com/blog/?p=5519

#1yrago AOC grills Equifax CEO: the Congressional record now contains the obvious, infuriating truth that everyone else already knew https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/02/11/rep-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-takes-aim-equifax-credit-scoring/?utm_term=.cbab554db359

#1yrago Fox hit with $179m (including $128m in punitive damages) judgment over shady bookkeeping on "Bones" https://variety.com/2019/biz/news/fox-bones-arbitration-emily-deschanel-179-million-1203150879/

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: JWZ (http://www.jwz.org/blog/), Pipe Dream Dragon (https://pipedreamdragon.tumblr.com/), Metafilter (https://metafilter.com/), Karl Bode (https://twitter.com/karlbode), RCB Leon (https://twitter.com/rcbleon), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/).

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Canada Reads Kelowna: March 5, 6PM, Kelowna Library, 1380 Ellis Street, with CBC's Sarah Penton https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/cbc-radio-presents-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-96154415445

Currently writing: I just finished a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel now, though the timing is going to depend on another pending commission (I've been solicited by an NGO) to write a short story set in the world's prehistory.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last week, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs" this week; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Gopher: When Adversarial Interoperability Burrowed Under the Gatekeepers' Fortresses: https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/02/24/gopher-when-adversarial-interoperability-burrowed-under-the-gatekeepers-fortresses/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

Posted on February 27, 2020Tags 2020, akil augustine, apple, basketball, bernie sanders, books, canada, canada reads, cbc, cdc, cdnpol, chavismo, coronavirus, democrats, dick van dyke, dotorg, dweb, eff, elections, ethos, facebookification, facial hair, federation, filternet, gmail, google, hip hop, isoc, los angeles, onpol, pir, politics, private equity, public enemy, radicalized, sarah silverman, science fiction, sidewalk labs, smart cities, surveillance, toronto, torpol, venezuela, walkawayLeave a comment on Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020 Edit "Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020"

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anditendshowyoudexpect · 5 years

Text

There remains a stigma attached to the word ‘breakdown’, when actually it’s a very legitimate response to life in the early twenty-first century. We are not designed for the non-stop world we live in, the pressures put upon us, and those we bring upon ourselves. For young people, especially, those pressures are becoming ever more intense. Social media, the battle for jobs, the speed with which we judge – it’s a lot easier for kids now to be made to feel inadequate in so many different ways. I worry about what any child picks up in their subconscious just through their daily interaction with the world. Societal pressure has got worse for children, and I hope my own experiences will make me better able to help my children tread that difficult path.

Billie was magnificent as Rose. I knew she was good at the time but looking back now I can see her absolute brilliance. It reminds me how much we loved working together, which is palpably obvious on screen. Actors work at chemistry; it doesn’t just come with a snap of the fingers, but we were fortunate enough to have something there from the start. We were also professionals and knew how to achieve on-screen banter. What truly amazes me is I know how nervous Billie was at the start. She thought I was some big serious performer and she didn’t have the belief in herself as an actor. She proved herself, of course, to be way better than any of the rest of us. Her luminosity on screen comes from herself, not those around her, and instinctively she made Rose exactly the person she should be. When Doctor Who won a BAFTA for Best Drama, it was Billie for whom I was truly delighted. The reception she got when the show was screened made any lingering reservations on her part about her ability evaporate. It was admirable in her that she had zero arrogance that she could do it. The work she has done since has shown her to be worthy of every accolade that comes her way.

Watching our characters now reinforces what I concluded at the time: Russell enjoys writing more for women than he does for men. If so, I’m glad – there’s been a lot of writing for men. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show of any year, painting a solid line leading directly to Jodie Whittaker. If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps, really, we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose but as the Doctor.

The attitude exists that, in the relationship between producer, director and actor, they are the adults and we are the children. I agree, actors can behave like children, they can be spoilt – but not this one, and not a lot of others I know. A working relationship can’t operate on a basis of master and servant. If a director, or anyone else on set, comes in and has bad manners, then chances are they’ll hear from me.

This idea that actors can be manipulated and pushed around to suit the agendas of others irritates me. On Shallow Grave, prior to the shoot, myself, Ewan McGregor and Kerry Fox lived in a flat together for a week. We rehearsed, read scenes, and got to know each other. I considered it to be a budgetary and practical arrangement, but after the film came out Danny talked about it as being a social experiment, which I objected to because to me it was like the director playing God. If Danny wanted to conduct an experiment to gauge our reaction and interaction to one another, he should have told us. Had I known, I would doubtless have gained something from the situation. Danny, I expect, would argue otherwise, that the actors wouldn’t get it. Well, I’m more intelligent than that. As it turned out, Danny’s plan was counterproductive because all it did was give myself, Kerry and Ewan a week to realise we didn’t like each other very much and didn’t get on. We had entirely different backgrounds, approaches to acting, and sensibilities. All three of us were also very, very ambitious and insecure with it. Danny would probably argue that that tension then manifested itself on screen. I think that’s bollocks. This idea of pitting one actor against another is dangerous, manipulative and patronising. The film would have been better without all that nonsense.

I’m not alone in feeling dismayed at misplaced directorial interference. Anthony Hopkins once arranged for the cast of Frankenstein to go for a Chinese meal during rehearsals. Anthony received a message from Francis Ford Coppola: ‘Francis doesn’t want you to go for a Chinese meal,’ it read, ‘because he feels it would break the atmosphere.’

Anthony Hopkins’ reaction was simple – ‘Bollocks, we’re going for a Chinese meal.’

In a way, Let Him Have It was an example of the British film industry bowing to American values. I hate Forrest Gump. I would like to burn every single copy of that film for the way it treats both mental health issues and women. A sexually free female character who ends up with AIDS? That tells you everything. I wanted to make an angrier, more polemical, more complicated film about a young man who deserved more than just to have the label ‘simple’ pinned to his lapel.

That presence, that intensity, that some people, not just Peter, have identified again comes from growing up, like most working class children, with the institutional message, ‘You’re stupid’, as did my father, as did my brothers. If you’re working class in this country, you may be able to shovel shit or push a trolley, but, ‘You are thick. You do not emote.’ ‘You are thick. You are not worthy of a decent education.’ Those central messages of unworthiness become so ingrained that they are self-perpetuating. Come up with a big word and not only are you mocked – ‘Oh, where did that come from?’ – but you mock yourself. So yes, I am intense, and that’s because there’s a lot of fierce concentration on trying to be articulate, rather than that laid-back public-school attitude to intellect that some people seem to have.

My dad had definitely shared with me a very visible masculinity. His appearance and actions shouted standard maleness, but the way I viewed him was different. It seemed obvious to me that, at his core, causing his outward behaviour, was a great femininity and vulnerability. My view of maleness was formed from how tyrannical my dad could be and yet how gentle. Through him, I learned to accept that the two things could coexist. I too have a masculinity allied to an intensely female side. Perhaps the difference is I’m aware of it. Dad, I think, found his sensitivity a source of conflict. For many years, I was the same. I resented it. I resented the part of me that made me different. If you are a late-twentieth-century male, traditional working-class, you are not going to like that side of yourself. I wanted to be black and white. I didn’t understand that it is the sensitive side that offers true insight in life – intuition and empathy.

Similarly, there’d be no bunches of flowers from Dad – none of that – and he didn’t like dancing – he was too self-conscious, too embarrassed – so Mum would always dance with somebody else.

I once went into my mum and dad’s room and saw a book, The Sun is my Tormentor, a Mandingo-esque novel of love and adventure, by Mum’s side of the bed. Seeing my mother in middle age and her desire for romance moved me deeply. It made me cry. I felt for her emptiness and also because I knew there were greater romantic novels that, because of her conditioning as being unworthy of such literature, she perhaps felt she couldn’t venture into.

We wrapped the production on Friday, had a party, and then on Saturday morning I’d arranged to go to Old Trafford with my dad. I was really looking forward to it – and he turned up with the season tickets from two years before. I’m disgusted with myself thinking about it now, but I gave him a bollocking. I was pissed off because I couldn’t go to the game. More than that, though, I was pissed off because he had dementia. That is shameful on my part, but genuinely that is the case. Maybe that shame is something others in the same position will recognise, an occasional presence of a selfish internal voice, one that so desperately craves ‘normality’.

I put my anger at his illness down to coming straight off the back of Flesh and Blood, with its fictional narrative so unflinchingly similar to my own non-fiction life. Amid that emotion, present as he always was whenever me and my dad knocked heads, was that little boy who was frightened of him. I definitely harboured residual anger towards him, a straight reflection of the anger he’d exhibited towards me. Sounds harsh, but he was getting back the temper he taught me. I was in control now. I’m not proud of that, and I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s how I justified it to myself.

I looked into his eyes and could see him trying to process what was going on. He was staring at the season tickets, semi-computing that they were the ones from two years ago, while trying to work out what the situation meant, and what should happen next. For ten seconds, my peripheral vision was blacked out, blinkered. All I saw was this big, fierce bird-like face looking around lost in confusion. I put Dad on the bus home, the route being familiar to him, and walked away. I rang later and explained to my mum what had happened. And then I started crying. I cried for four hours. That night I had a date with my girlfriend. I told her about it and cried all over again. I broke my heart like I’ve never broken my heart since. That moment of seeing his confusion had left a mark – not a bruise, but a deep, lasting weal. Until that point, I’d understood intellectually that my dad had dementia because we’d been told. But emotionally I hadn’t understood it at all. And then there, in the street outside Old Trafford, I’d been given a window into somebody going mad. Becoming demented. That’s the truth of it – demented. It’s a shocking word. We used to talk about demented dogs, and we shot them. When we say dementia, there’s no hiding the truth. It means people are demented. We can dress that up however we want, but there’s no denying the naked reality beneath. That day I had been presented with the stark vision of a man floundering in a maze of his mind’s own making. Not knowing who and where he was. And I’d just been horrible to him. And he was my dad.

Esme asked me the other day, ‘Daddy, do you like Mummy?’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘when me and Mummy met, we fell in love and had you. Having two children very quickly is hard on parents in a relationship and then Mummy and Daddy started to not like each other. Now, Esme, as you’ve seen, we are trying to be friends.’

As a child, I would have liked that level of honesty and candidness with my parents, but it was no more part of Ronnie and Elsie than it had been their parents, and so on and so on before. I completely understand that the openness switch was neither at their fingertips nor was it socially reinforced. Emotion could hold a working-class child back, make them unready for what was to come – what they were for. I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to have a more grounded relationship with my children. Before Albert and Esme, playing football, wrestling, doing a crossword or mock-boxing with my own dad were the happiest things I could ever imagine in my life. They go right to the heart of me. Now, I have a new happiness with my own children. And it is a happiness born of honesty.

The blight on that happiness is that I don’t live with them. I know I’ve yet to come to terms with that fact. This book will help, the increasing distance from the hospitalisation will help, but it’s something that will always hurt inside. The legal system could certainly help deliver balance for parents and children involved in separation and divorce. Hopefully, we are in the dog days of the Victorian view of men and women and their role in their children’s lives, which has led to institutional and historic bias. In the twenty-first century, an authentic emotional relationship can come from a man as much as a woman.

I wanted to throw a spotlight on the generations, the millions and millions, for whom ‘success’, defined as anything other than the basic survival of themselves and their family, was a concept of which they were denied to the extent that they were chained, leg, wrist and neck, to an institutionally blessed mindset of zero expectation. To those in charge of those institutions, the working class is as it describes. A production line of workers, nothing more, nothing less. People? With character, hope, intelligence, ambition? Forget it. Get back in your box and shut up.

I was asked a few years ago to go on the BBC genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are? I agreed and they started looking into my family tree. It says everything that the project went nowhere. They tugged aside the leaves on those branches and concluded, ‘Nothing to see here.’ Generations of working-class people dismissed. Individuals with their own hopes, dreams and stories. Not army generals, industrialists, vaudeville singers, but factory workers, farm labourers, cleaners, nothing in any way ‘sexy’ enough for TV.

No doubt if someone like me had popped up in the dim and distant, all would have been good. But why? My father had all my abilities, linguistically, physically, and then some. So, no doubt, did generations before him. I get that my life has been far more fulfilled than my father’s and those before him, but for me that makes him the far more interesting story. What do I know of life? I’m not driving stacker trucks all day at Colgate-Palmolive and then going to Bulmers and driving stacker trucks there all night. I’m not cleaning floors in a launderette like Mum. And yet how often is the story of the working class ever told on TV? I don’t mean the dross that is soaps. I mean properly told? The answer is less and less. Working-class stories don’t fit in boxsets. They don’t make money. They don’t fit the business model of selling to global TV. And yet they are the lives that talk to me, define me. They are the lives I find endlessly fascinating.

Christopher Eccleston, I Love the Bones of You

#christopher eccleston #i love the bones of you #books #such a honest sincere book he wrote #i love him even more for it #i want to quote every sentence #and i would if i wasn't listening to audio #dw #mental health

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rapeculturerealities · 6 years

Link

It is difficult to overstate the visceral impact—and rarity—of seeing a black man, one as statuesque and imposing as Crews, step forward to identify himself as a survivor of sexual assault and reject external demands that he bury his shame. Crews has spoken at length about the tenacity of shame, the way it embeds itself more deeply in survivors’ psyches with each dismissal of their accounts. He has acknowledged that his race and size render his story unbelievable to some, that those same factors kept him from responding to his alleged assailant with violence for fear of being stereotyped as a “thug”—or facing violence at the hands of police.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, in the days since Crews shared his Senate testimony, a number of his peers have taken to the internet to discredit his experiences—and his manhood. Most notably, rapper and actor 50 Cent (née Curtis Jackson) posted (and then deleted) a bizarre meme featuring Crews shirtless, with the words I got raped / My wife just watched superimposed onto the image, as well as another photo of Crews with a rose in his mouth, with the words Gym timeinexplicably in the top right corner. The photos also included a strange, tone-deaf caption in which 50 Cent suggested he would have responded to a similar situation with gun violence rather than the trepidation Crews recounted: “👀LOL,What the fuck is going on out here man? Terry: I froze in fear,😆they would have had to take me to jail. 🤨get the strap.” Both in the comments of 50 Cent’s post, and on Twitter, men insisted they could never stand silent or motionless in the face of another man’s unwanted provocations. Some, like Russell Simmons, who has been accused of rape or sexual assault by more than a dozen women, responded to Jackson’s post with all the concern of a laughing emoji.

Jackson, and the many others who mocked Crews, communicated their allegiance to an idealized masculinity that they imagine as impervious to assault. (Jackson has since insisted his post was a joke, but even so, its purported humor would only stem from the “surprise” of a strong man’s victimhood.) Crews imparting his experience of assault placed him squarely outside that moving goal post, rendering him “weak” and “emasculated” in the eyes of people—most often men—who refuse to untether masculinity from displays of Herculean strength or aggression. For his part, Crews respondedfirst with love for 50 Cent’s music, then by saying he “proved that size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual assault.” Friday morning, Crews tweeted a response to the misguided questions he’d received in the wake of sharing his story: “Why did you just let it happen? I didn’t. Why didn’t you beat him up? (Sigh),” the tweet ended.

There is a seductive allure to Jackson’s logic, the idea that only “weak” men “allow” themselves to be victimized. It is the same logic that animates victim-blaming rhetoric most often directed at women, but with an added valence of patriarchal posturing. When Jackson (or any other man) suggests that Crews only froze in fear when targeted by a predator because Crews is uniquely weak-willed, the detractor is insisting on his own imperviousness to harm. Because he is a man, he is strong. Because he is strong, he cannot be overpowered. But victimhood is not just the domain of the weak. Sexual violence does not select against “strong” people (and even if it did, Jackson’s comments would still be reprehensible).

Jackson is far from the first to mock Crews for speaking out. In a March interview with BuzzFeed News, Crews noted the controversy that now surrounds him in Hollywood: “I walk in the room, and the room is split right down the middle,” he said. “It just divides right there. It’s kind of like lightning.” While not everyone in the camp Crews identifies as unsupportive speaks of the actor in terms that are as vulgar as Jackson’s, their irritation with Crews’s accounts still functions to discredit both his stories and his masculinity.

The logic of male imperviousness also serves to distance Strong Men(™) from the “weaker” sex. If strength is a hallmark of masculinity, then Jackson’s insistence on his own immunity to harm is also a feverish attempt at denouncing femininity. It is common, when naming sexual assault as an issue that disproportionately affects women, to be met with a barrage of trolls lambasting female advocates for supposedly overlooking male survivors. And so often, the men who decry female advocates’ efforts do not support male survivors when the time comes to do so. The invocation of the male survivor is more often rooted in disdain for women’s organizing than it is in any real concern for the livelihood of the boys and men who must contend with the effects of sexual violence on their lives.

In the days since Crews’ testimony, the silence from other men—men whom Crews has explicitly said he hopes to comfort and embolden with his actions—has been deafening. Meanwhile, the men who mock Crews are participating in the theater of masculine performance to the detriment of their own—and other men’s—healing.

Crews’s testimony also comes in the same week that celebrities in the worlds that he and Jackson both inhabit have thrown their support behind a man whose life represented a far different model of (black) masculinity. Just hours after Crews spoke to the Senate Judiciary Committee, 23-year-old Philadelphia rapper Lil Uzi Vert tweeted his plans to establish a foundation for the family of the slain rapper XXXTentacion, whose list of alleged abuses included beating his pregnant ex-girlfriend so badly that she may still be in danger of losing vision in one eye. Uzi’s tweet also included a call for other celebrities to assist his endeavors; thus far, Nicki Minaj, Lil Yachty, and A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie have all pledged their support. XXXTentacion, who brought his fans tremendous comfort and his alleged victim deep pain during his short life, attracts sympathy from his peers with ease. To rally behind a “controversial” dead man, even one accused of heinous abuses, may be shocking to some, but it is hardly without precedent. To support Crews, however, a man forsaking the comfortable façade of patriarchal force for a revealing vulnerability, would be to admit complicity in valuing the masculine veneer.

In his testimony, Crews deftly noted that part of the appeal of the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights is the distance it gives victims from the immediate trauma they have faced. “It gives survivors the right to receive information, including access to police reports, rape-kit results, and access to sexual assault counselors,” he said. “And by requiring that rape kits and forensic DNA evidence be retained for the duration of the statute of limitations, this bill gives survivors the right to have time to distance themselves from the immediate trauma before making the difficult decision to report the assault to law enforcement.”

While law enforcement has an unfavorable track record with addressing (even perpetrating) sexual assault—and a worse one yet with treating black people as humans—the core of Crews’s concern still rings true. To acknowledge the fact that survivors deserve to process their traumas on their own terms is to recognize that sexual violence affects those who experience it differently. Crews’s process may not be the same as that of every person he testifies alongside, but his efforts add depth to the chorus. “I have to say, the silence is deafening when it comes to men talking about this issue,” he noted in his testimony. Amid that absence, Crews’s voice is as valuable as it is clear.

#Crews #victim blaming #50 cent #toxic masculinity #gender essentialism

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capjuby · 5 years

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by MECCA WOODS

Just as I was about to sit down and write this piece, I got into a rather tense conversation this morning with my mother about R.Kelly. She had been watching clips of the now infamous interview of Kelly, conducted by Gayle King, and clips of the interview that Ms. King also did with the two young women purported to be his live-in girlfriends, Azriel Clary and Jocelyn Savage. Upon talking with my mom, it seems she doesn’t have a lot of sympathy for Kelly’s victims. She didn’t have much sympathy for Cosby’s victims either. To my mom, born of a generation where the people in power (adults, men, white people, etc.) were always right, the women coming forward about their abuse seems like a grab for money and attention. I explained with all the compassion and all the patience I could muster up for my mom in that moment, that this wasn’t a cash grab nor are the victims to blame; R.Kelly and his enablers are. The thing is, I don’t entirely fault my mother for the way that she feels. She is a victim of sexual abuse too. And I know that the reason she feels the way she does is because she was shamed into doing so. My mother has never got to have her day in court. Her abusers are long dead and buried. When she tried outing them at the age of 10, and 11, and 12, and 13; she was told it was her own fault. Repeatedly.

But this piece is not necessarily about my mother. This is about the astrology of the moment that’s making conversations like the one that I had with her possible. It’s about the astrology of the present moment that is helping us to not only have these kind of conversations but to also start doing what we can to address and change the societal mores that allow for the rampant abuse of Black girls and women — all Black women — to be the norm. Right now, at the time that this piece will be published, it’s currently Women’s History Month. It’s also Pisces season too. In astrology, which is arguably limited by the binary of masculine and feminine, Pisces is a feminine zodiac sign; as are Cancer and Scorpio. Astrology defines feminine as being receptive, intuitive, nurturing, and security-oriented as well as associated those that identify as women and femme.

From October 10, 2017 to November 8, 2018; when Jupiter (the planet of growth, morality, and law) was in all-or-nothing Scorpio, it helped to bring more eyes and ears to survivors of abuse and sexual assault, many of whom were women and femmes. Scorpio is the zodiac sign associated with secrets, taboos, control, power, and to some degree – sex. As a zodiac sign represented by the element of water, Scorpio helps us to heal our subconscious wounds and emotional trauma by helping us to face our fears and reclaim the power that we may have given to others or had outright taken. Though true to Scorpio’s nature, the process of healing and reclaiming said power is never easy (as we’ve seen with critics and detractors of the Me Too movement, for example). Enter Cancer and Pisces.

On November 6, 2018; just as Jupiter was about to leave Scorpio, the North Node moved out of passionate and attention-grabbing Leo and into nurturing and protective Cancer. Astrologically speaking, Cancer is the sign connected to home and hearth, motherhood, women, as well as our emotions. The North Node, or rather the Lunar Nodes (North and South), mathematically represent points in space that highlight where the orbit of the moon crosses the ecliptic. In astrological terms, the nodes represent where we need to grow and evolve (North) and what we need to release (South). With the North Node in Cancer until May 5, 2020; collectively we are being called to bring the focus back to the feminine; to help shift the way our culture sees, treats, and holds space for women and femmes; and to help cultivate and employ better tools for managing and improving our emotional well-being. Still, know that this planetary shift isn’t just about uplifting and healing the feminine, but also about balancing out the feminine and the masculine, so the masculine (and people that identify as such) can heal too. Since Cancer, like its opposite sign Capricorn (where the South Node currently sits), is connected to history and tradition; the shift that’s taking place also has to do with breaking down and dissolving the old attitudes, rules, and regulations that have helped to keep Black women and femmes invisible, oppressed, and at the bottom rung of society. It’s also about addressing and healing toxic masculinity too, especially as Chiron (a dwarf planet associated with our deepest wounds and their healing) currently sits in Aries (until April 2027); the sign associated with both the fearless warrior and the abusive bully.

With Pisces season underway until March 20 and love and relationship planet Venus moving into Pisces on March 26, the emphasis is on compassion and understanding. Pisces also helps us to heal our individual and collective pain by encouraging unconditional love for others and pushing us to heed the call towards spiritual peace and enlightenment. Planet Neptune, which has been in Pisces since February 3, 2011 (where it will stay until January 26, 2026) can be attributed to kicking off such a spiritual awakening by highlighting the need for the Divine Feminine, a core set of spiritual principles and practices based on the power of feminine energy. Still, as with the North Node in Cancer this awakening is not about centering one side or spectrum of the gender binary at the exclusion of the other; it’s about learning to hold space for it all as Pisces is a boundless and boundary-less sign. However, as history has shown us, if we want true change, we can’t simply be well-intentioned. We have to be willing to do the work. And that’s why planets like no-nonsense Saturn and transformative Pluto will be in Capricorn (which is also a feminine sign, in fact all of the earth signs are), to assist us with putting in the work necessary; which includes challenging history and those in authority, as well as establishing boundaries and creating new rules that ensures true equality for all.

#women's history month

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hauntedbyvisionsof-flight · 6 years

Text

A Speech to Change the World

Day two of Girlsies Week: Sarah Jacobs

((not proofed, I wrote this in between classes lol, so sorry for any mistakes!)) ~~

Davey seemed to enjoy college. A lot. He was certainly smart enough for it, and she was really proud of him for doing so. But every time he brought it up, this nasty feeling set up camp in her gut. She didn’t know what it was, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant.

It hit Sarah one Thursday when she was hanging out laundry on the roof.

“Envy!” she said all at once. A few pigeons at the edge of the roof fluttered away.

“I’m jealous that he’s going to college!” She dropped Les’ holey shirt back in the basket and began to pace. “I want to go to college!”

Sarah stopped. “I want to go to college,” she whispered in disbelief.

A grin spread slowly over her face. “I want to go to college!” Sarah shouted.

She ran down the stairs from the roof to the Jacobs family apartment, stopping only to grab a hat to cover her hair. She ran down the several flights of stairs to street level and started running in the direction her twin was. She knew he had English today, and she was fairly certain she knew the building. She’d brought him his lunch a few times.

Sure enough, she reached the English building right as Davey walked out. “David!” she called.

His head snapped up at her voice, and he looked out over the quad for her. “Sarah!” he yelled in delight upon seeing her. She ran to him and grabbed his forearms.

“David! I figured it out!”

“What?” he laughed. “The meaning of life?”

“Might as well be!” Sarah grinned. “I want to go to college!”

Davey stopped, stock still. “You what?”

Sarah paused. Did he not like the idea? “I want to go to college.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “It’s going to be hard. And you’ll face lots of opposition. I’ll help any way I can, but there’ll be times they can get to you and I won’t be there to protect you.” His tone was full of brotherly concern, but Sarah just rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be fine! Or have you already forgotten how I punched Oscar’s ugly mug last year?”

Davey laughed. “Okay, you got me there.”

Sarah grinned at him before turning serious. “So, do you think I can do it?”

Davey smiled. “Of course. You’re my sister! We took down a newspaper giant, college’ll be a snap!”

College wasn’t a snap, but she got through it. Not only did she get through it, Sarah Naomi Jacobs graduated top of her class, tied only with her brother. On the day of graduation, Sarah sat on the first row beside Davey, anxiously awaiting their turn to speak. They were valedictorians, and although only David was technically allowed to speak, they had different ideas.

The speaker finished up and motioned Sarah and David to come forward.

“Hello, everyone, and welcome,” David said. The auditorium was silent. “As he said, I am David Jacobs and this is my twin sister, Sarah Jacobs.” Sarah waved. “We are the valedictorians of the graduating class of 1905!”

The auditorium erupted into cheers and whistles, most notably from the section where the Jacobs’ family and their dozens of children (a.k.a. The newsies) were seated. Jack even had his fingers in his mouth as he whistled in appreciation.

The twins grinned at them before motioning for them to hush. “Jack,” Davey started, “I know Kath ‘n Crutchie are tellin’ you to hush, so you’se best get on with it so we can finish.”

Jack let out one final whistle as the crowd laughed. The deans looked mildly uncomfortable, but the Jacobs’ were less than concerned about that. “But since there’s two of us, the deans said only one of us could talk. So now I hand the stage over to Sarah, the true hero of this years’ class.”

The crowd cheered as a gloomy look settled over the deans’ faces. At their many graduation practices, David had been the one to talk, specifically because they had said that Sarah couldn’t. However, it seemed that the deans had failed to make the connection between Davey Jacobs, president of the newsboy union and leader of the successful strike and David Jacobs, valedictorian of New York City College. However, Davey made sure to make the connection for them when he allowed his healthy disrespect for authority to make way for Sarah to speak at the podium.

“Hello, everybody,” Sarah said. You could hear a pin drop, everyone was so shocked. Even the rowdy freshmen were silent as she spoke. “As my brother said, only one of us could speak. But before we could make the decision, the dean kindly made it for us. He came up to us and said that only Davey would be able to make a speech. We asked why, and he gave us a long and wordy answer, but basically, it boils down to this: I’m a girl.

“Now, let me tell you exactly why that is one of the dumbest statements I have ever heard.” The crowd tittered. “Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I have long hair, and a nice figure, and dare I say, I’m quite pretty. But there is more to me than my feminine appearance. One thing that they don’t tell young men about when they are going away to college is the harassment they will face in the classroom. They fail to mention that boys will crowd around you, talking to you, asking you out to dinner, inviting you back to their place, or God forbid call you a stuck up bitch.

“They don’t mention how people will expect you to be smarter than anyone else there. How B’s are not good enough, and that if you make anything less than 100% an entire classroom decrees that ‘maybe men shouldn’t go to college. Maybe they are too dumb, maybe they shouldn’t be allowed in.’ No young man gets told that when they leave to pursue a higher education. Would you like to know why?”

The entire auditorium was silent. Their fellow seniors and even the underclassmen were staring at the ground in shame. The newsies were looking up with faces beaming with pride, and mothers looked at her in horror. Men had smug looks on their faces, more than a few were angry, and Sarah was sure that she’d seen her grandmother storm out. But that didn’t matter. What mattered is that steps be taken so that things like this stopped happening to girls who chose to follow in her footsteps.

“They aren’t told about them, because these things don’t happen to men. Men aren’t harassed as they walk to class. They aren’t told to go home, they belong in the kitchen. They aren’t invited out to dinner after class, and when they are declined they certainly don’t get insulted for it. They aren’t ganged up on and talked to while the professor is lecturing. Their hair isn’t pulled, the professor doesn’t save the hardest question for them just to watch them flail trying to answer it. They aren’t pressured to have a 4.0 grade point average. They’re allowed to make B’s and C’s and D’s without anyone blaming their entire gender for it. They aren’t faced with impossible standards and mocked for not meeting them.

“But I was. I am. I will be. That is my lot in life, and I have decided to accept it. My chosen career will not be easy, but I will do it. I will fight tooth and nail to prove that I can do it as well, if not better, than any man they consider for the job. I am one of the first in a line of many who will shake this world to its core, and change the very thread it operates on.

“However, that doesn’t mean every woman has to face the same trials I have. So now I speak to the underclassmen, the ones that watch us up on this podium with envy, and can’t wait for their chance up here.” She turned her head from looking out over the crowd in general to looking specifically at the college students. Smalls and Sniper caught her eye from where they sat with the freshmen and gave her a thumbs up.

“You are in a position of power, here. You were the ones who caused me so much strife. You have the power to make or break a new world, one where women are treated as equals. I know none of you have forgotten the age of strikes only a few years ago. And for those of you who don’t know, Davey and I actually lead one, along with Jack Kelly, the boy who was whistling awhile ago. We successfully beat the New York World at their own game, and you want to tell me I can’t graduate?” she let out a dry laugh. “Well look at me, I took your taunts and I rose above, and I not only graduated, but I graduated valedictorian!

“So here’s the bottom line: the world is changing. We are no longer satisfied with the life we live. We are standing up to demand a place at the table, and we will not rest until we have one. We will be victorious. So, are you going to help? Or are you going to be one of the many we crush on our way to the top?” With that, Sarah stepped back from the podium. Everyone in her family jumped to their feet, their cheers and whistles and applause echoing throughout the room.

Slowly, the students started clapping as well, until they were all standing as well. It started in the freshmen section and moved up until the entire student body was on their feet. At the pressure of the students, many more of the audience began to cheer, until they were so loud the rafters shook at their volume. Sarah looked out on the crowd, and her eyes began welling up. She knew that it was unlikely that this energy and fervor would continue, but for now, she had done something.

She had made a speech that would change the world.

#girlsiesweek18 #sarah jacobs #newsies #newsies fanfiction #newsies live #92sies #girlsies #girlsies week #brooklyn writes #davey jacobs #jack kelly #katherine plumber #crutchie morris #albert dasilva #elmer (newsies)#jojo (newsies)#fanfiction #smalls (newsies)#sniper (newsies)

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