#such a honest sincere book he wrote

[sciderman]

howard the duck (1976) #10

[alessiathepirate]

Hannibal NBC

THE SIMPLICITY THEY SHOULD HAVE: Will Graham x fem!reader

Summary: She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. Watching him sit on the floor working on those boat motors was the sight she wanted to see everyday.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I made while I wrote this short story.

So- I actually looked up an article about boat motors and about how to repair them, so I can describe it in a close-enough way, but in reality I've never seen a single boat motor in my life. So if it isn't desribed like it should be described - I'm sorry.

Warnings: references to Will's work, but surprisingly nothing more

•••

She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. The things that made him relaxed, but entertained in a good way.

It didn't only give Will a peace of mind, it also made her feel a certain kind of calmness and safety she's never felt when Will was out working on a case, trying to get into people's minds.

Watching him sit on the floor working on those boat motors as the muscles around his eyes and mouth tensed up from concentration was the sight she wanted to see everyday. When he isn't thinking about anything gruesome, when he isn't scared of nightmares or for her safety, when he is home doing what he likes with all his dogs around him being lazy - that was the sight she liked, those were the happiest moments she had about Will.

It felt domestic. It felt normal.

It felt like something they should have everyday.

The simplicity of it was the thing what made it so special - because otherwise nothing about their relationship was simple.

She was lying on her stomach in their shared bed, keeping herself up on her elbows. She was supposed to be reading, so she can finally finish the book she has started months ago but couldn't find the time to finish because of all the crazy, abnormal things that had been going on. This was the only normal evening they've had in months, the only truly relaxing one, yet the book isn't the real entertainment.

Will on the other hand certainly is.

"It's not very nice to stare."

His voice is truly entertaining too, especially when it's calm, relaxed and slightly teasing.

"I never said I was a nice person." she said, not even trying to hide her smile.

"Really? I thought was dating a nice person." he didn't look up from his work, his hands were still moving the screwdriver he was holding, trying to get a stuck screw out.

"I can be nice." she started, feeling her heart flutter as she noticed how Will's curls were messier than usual - God, he looked cute. "Just not when I have such a handsome boyfriend to look at."

That made Will look up, finding her gaze and making eye contact, abandoning his work for a while. She almost giggled at how his cheeks turned into a slight pink shade at her compliment. She rarely saw Will blush, very rarely.

"Such a charmer."

"I try my best." she smirked. " 'Everything alright with the motor?"

"Yeah, the screw's stuck but it'll be fine." he looked down at the boat motor, then back at her. "So, you abandoned the book again."

"Yes." she answered shortly and then continued: "I found something much more entertaining."

"That's a very nice book." Will voice carried a teasing edge.

"Yeah, well I just decided to enjoy the moment." she lost the smirk and the teasing, and used a sincere smile and honesty instead. "We rarely have a calm evening these days. I'd rather spend it watch- admiring you and talking to you, than look at words my mind can't comprehend right now anyway."

Will lost the smirk too and the small, happy smile he sent her way was truly the cutest thing she's seen him do so far. It wasn't anything big, sure. It wasn't a surprise date, it wasn't a gift she wouldn't need anyway - it was something she really wanted to see: a honest smile. A smile what told her everything and a smile what didn't hold anything back. He was comfortable, well rested and happy - the only thing she wanted.

"Come here." he said those two words softly, there was nothing rude or demanding about it.

She got off the bed and walked toward him. When he patted the floor next to where he was sitting, she understood what he wanted. She sat down next to him and crossed her legs.

"Would you like to help me?"

It was rare that he asked for help - no matter the context.

He trusted her, he loved her - she was sure of that. For a second she was too scared to open her mouth and speak, not wanting to ruin the softness of the moment.

"Of course." she swallowed; she was unable to hold back a smile. "What are we doing?"

"We'll try to remove the propeller so we can replace it with a new one. Then we'll try to find out why the battery is dead and if the spark plug needs to be changed." he explained it slowly and patiently, taking a look at her face here and there, making sure she understands what he's saying. "Sounds good?"

"Yeah. How can I help?"

"If you could get this screw out so we can take the propeller off, that'd be awesome."

"I can try."

She took the screwdriver from him as he turned the boat motor towards her so she can get to work. The first time tried to remove it the screw didn't move at all. That's why the second time she tried it she used more force - and to her surprise the screw moved.

She looked up at Will for a second with a grin. "It looks like that's something only women can do."

"Right. Thanks." she could hear that he was smiling, his pride wasn't hurt like any other man's would be.

"What now?" she asked as she took off the propeller.

"Now we'll take a look at the spark plug..."

And Will started to explain everything. He told her how to take the spark plug out, he explained what the most common problems are that can kill the battery in seconds. He spoke and then let her do the work, praising her when she did something right and chuckling when she messed something up. He corrected her and then watched her work with a smile.

She had a feeling that he likes to explain it to her, he likes the thought that he can teach her something new what isn't criminal profiling or basic self defense stuff.

By the time the motor was taken apart her fingers felt numb and she felt herself getting tired. Will must've felt it too, because he took the wrench she had in her hand.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"No, but I think for today you've done enough."

"Enough good stuff?"

"You've done a wonderful job with this for a rookie." Will's smile was genuine - so was hers.

"Yeah, no surprise you're a teacher. You can explain how everything works really well." she rested her head on his shoulder and even if Will tensed up a little from the sudden affection, he didn't push her away - he pressed a soft, barely even a real kiss to the top of her head.

"I think you should go ahead and lie down. I'll join you in a second."

"No. I'll wait here with you."

And she waited.

She waited until he put the new propeller on. She watched as he checked on the oil. She watched as he started to clean up the mess - putting different tools into the toolbox and cleaning the floor with the rag he had close by.

At some point they changed their position. Maybe it was because of Will moving and turning while trying to not move to far away from her - she didn't know for sure. But she was hugging his shoulders from behind while she rested her chin in the crook of his neck and her legs were wrapped around his waist.

It was a comfortable position for her - and must have been a pretty uncomfortable one for Will.

But he didn't complain. Sometimes he brushed his hand along her shin or knee, or took one of her hands and held it. And it was Heaven.

She couldn't really believe in anything good in this world, not after she saw what the world is like and how bad it actually is. She saw it all through Will's work and night terrors - but one thing was for sure, in that moment she felt like they were both in Heaven. They were home, they were close, the dogs were lazily lying on the rug around them.

It felt safe.

It felt normal.

It felt nice.

"Sweetheart?" she was half asleep when Will finally spoke up, his voice wasn't more than a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go to bed, okay?"

"Sure." she answered, but stayed still for a moment. "Will?"

He hummed and she felt the noise go through his whole body.

"I like these evenings. The calm ones."

Will didn't say anything. He didn't have to. She knew he felt the same way. She knew it because he took her hand and pressed a kiss on it. She knew it because he carried her to bed. She knew it because that night he didn't wake up from a night terror.

She liked watching Will do things he actually liked to do. But she liked it more when he slept calmly.

[ohkkotsuu]

𝐈𝐁𝐓 — 𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐅 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆! choso kamo.

ৎ୭ PAIRING: choso kamo x gender neutral reader (they/them pronouns used, unspecified anatomy)

ৎ୭ ABOUT: your boyfriend never experienced many things from the normal human world, as a half-curse. he's fully convinced that he needs to be a better boyfriend. so, he'll do his best to be the best for you. he sets some rules to be a boyfriend, a good one.

ৎ୭ CW/TW: SFW. choso is just so sweet i wanna bite him, overprotective behavior (a bit), choso is a simp and he wants to marry you, this is really just him being head over heels for you, choso calls you some petnames, itadori and nobara are mentioned (not as a couple)! fluff. straight up fluff. i just wrote a lot of him being silly about you lololol maybe this will become a series?? with other characters maybe. also, please, if you enjoy it, tell me about it! i would love to interact more with reblogs and comments from you all.

CHOSO never knew what to expect from the future, always being surprised by the violent turns in his life. lose two of his brothers, find a new brother — and certainly, he hadn't expected to have his heart so deeply won by you. nor win yours back. a sweetness of fate after so much sourness, which he hoped to make it last.

so choso became your partner (apparently, a modern term is boyfriend, so that works too). however, he has no idea how to be a good boyfriend. that makes choso resort to the best wingman he knows, an expert in people and relationships — his brother, yuuji itadori.

and it's from there that choso actively engages in what yuuji called “intensive boyfriend training”.

said training consists in watching hours of romantic movies, flipping through cliché books with good male leads, even retorting to reading shojo manga to know how to act romantic. yuuji even enlisted the help of a friend, nobara, so they only have quality content for training. no toxic male leads, no weird unconsensual stuff. only the best examples so he could become the best boyfriend. choso wants to know everything about how a guy should act to be a good boyfriend. after all, you're his world, and you deserve the best and the best only.

curses acquire information from the brain of the vessel they inhabit, but choso himself has no relationship experience. Centuries of his life were focused solely on protecting his siblings, and that is still one of his priorities — but, another priority is also you. he sets down some personal rules to himself, just so he can guide his heart through this whole “being a good boyfriend” thing.

his number one rule is never lie to you. never. doesn't matter the circumstances, choso will absolutely always be truthful and honest with you. relationships are based on trust, love and sharing. you are the person who showed him that there are ways to love someone beyond platonic — and, in return, you'll have his heart and he'll have yours. you are a partner for life in his eyes, and he would trust you with everything.

he's always truthful about things: where he's been, who he's been with, how he's feeling, he doesn't hide anything. choso even overshares every now and then. in his eyes, there is not even a single reason to lie to you. originally, he hesitated at the question of “how are you?” if he wasn't doing alright. choso wanted to be your white knight, the one who could protect you and his brothers without having to be weak. he slowly opened up as he realized it wasn't wrong to be weak. another valuable lesson you taught him.

if he is not feeling well, he will be sincere and say that he is not feeling well. choso will usually asks for what he wants — hold your hand, cuddle, kisses, anything really. he is also very honest when you ask for outfit opinions, for example — he admires how different colors suit you, how different types of fabrics of many different looks adorn your body. you usually need to call him more than once.

“choso.”

“hm? yes, baby?”

his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile. “you're staring. did you like this one?”

unfortunately, his opinion for visuals isn't exactly helpful, per say. he thinks everything look pretty in you, and he'll be very straightforward about it, because it's never about the attires you wear for him, no — you are insanely perfect. you're what makes this clothes pretty, not the opposite. you are what makes his world more worth living.

“I love everything you wear. you look amazing in everything.” the corners of his mouth lift up a bit as he give you the usual lovey-dovey stare.

you giggle a bit, unable to stop yourself from thinking that he's just so cute, staring at you like that. as if you were the moon and the stars. or even more than that.

“thanks, choso, but we've been here for half an hour. I need help to pick an outfit.”

the second rule he sets for himself is to protect you and care for you. he's absolutely never taking you anywhere risky. he'll do anything to be sure you're safe — anything he can. choso is always off guard for you, you make him feel safer than ever. but he's not relaxing about other things.

he would never forgive himself if you were hurt because he's too relaxed. he doesn't always have to be perfect, he knows, but he will still give every last drop of his own blood for your safety and your smile.

he's always keeping an eye out for suspicious people or cursed energy. if any signs of danger appear, he is ready to catch you on his arms, bridal style, and just run away to get you somewhere safe — which has already created some situations that are as embarrassing as they are amusing. another option is him entering on this intimidating mode, if not the immediate fight response.

he also doesn't like curses, even weak ones, around you. he acquired the habit of killing them immediately, being careful not to splash the purple blood of the spirits on you. he also carries around a tissue, either to wipe his face if a drop or two has spilled or to wipe his hand — he would never hold your hand while his is dirty like that. this is his version of “boyfriend who kills bugs for you” (to be fair, he would kill bugs too, if they're bothering you). choso was surprised when he learned that this is something boyfriends do for their partners, watching it on a romance series where a guy kills a bug when his love interest was too scared to do the same.

he's protective, but he's trying to be careful not to scare you or be creepy. he pulls you by your waist, always so gentle, staring daggers at a guy at the mall, scaring him away.

“choso.” he turns his head to you, and his eyes soften immediately. “what are you doing?”

“that man was staring at you.” he says, a bit grumpy. you only giggle and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek — something that makes his face pink and a soft smile creeps it's way into his expression.

“thank you. but you didn't had to scare him, I know that guy. he's an acquaintance of mine.”

“oh. should I get rid of him?” he asks.

“choso, no, that's not what I meant—”

the third rule is something he made up seeing romantic movies: be a gentleman. he was doing that already, by taking care of you, showing his love, but according to yuuji and nobara, people love when their boyfriend is kind and does stuff for them. which made choso really confused.

“people get..impressed, when their loved ones show affection and minimum care or respect?” he can't really understand it, but if it's what will make him a better boyfriend, he'll become the most cliche of a gentleman.

(he's totally unaware that he is one already, and that no one was expecting him to do more).

so he looks for all kinds of opportunities to do something for you. place your orders in stores if you are too shy to do so, carry your shopping bags for you, put his coat over your shoulders when it's cold.

the “problem” is that it becomes something on a medium-large scale. you don't carry anything around choso, he carries everything for you. even small bags. the only thing with you should be a purse or backpack (if you wear any of those), and even with that he offers to carry it for you.

then there comes a day when you two are walking and choso stops. before you can ask him what's wrong, he picks you up on his arms. you cling to his shoulders with a surprised yelp. one of his arms is under your legs and the other supporting your back like a groom carrying his bride — as he hopes that one day, he will be that to you. and much more.

he just carries you for a few moments more without even complaining. he never complains. he loves carrying you, doing things for you, and you weight nothing to him.

“choso, what are you doing? what was that for?” he looks down at you.

“there was a mud puddle in the way, dear. if you crossed it, you would get your shoes dirty.” he explains nonchalantly, with you still on his arms. he seems ready to put you down, if you ask for it.

you both know he would have you bridal-style on his arms for a whole day if you let him.

hearing your giggle makes his heart flutter. although, one of his eyebrows raise softly.

“choso, we could have just skirted around the puddle.”

“oh.” he hadn't thought of that.

the fourth and final rule is never forget. he should never forget anything about you or involving you. dating anniversary, your birthday, this man has it engraved on his memory. he understands that these are special days not only for human customs, but for him personally — after all, your dating anniversary is a celebration of one of the happiest days of his life. the day you and him became a couple.

he certainly thinks that day would only be surpassed by your future wedding anniversary. but these things can wait. the wedding can wait. he's happy just by being with you.

it memorizes all your preferences, from the simplest to the most complicated. he knows what kind of movies you like, which series you hate, which food you prefer for every situation. he has your favorite brands decorated so he can get those for you. choso memorized all your orders in coffee shops or diners so he can order for you, too. it also learns if you have allergies.

sometimes he can't really believe that humans have such organisms. resist some diseases, but if you eat a tomato being allergic, something like this kill a human? impressive.

if you are in a situation where another person is hanging out with you and they ask for something “wrong”, choso will politely correct them.

“no, actually, they're allergic to those.”

“my partner asked for this, actually.”

people may think he's being arrogant, by correcting everyone about what you want — but what surprises everyone, even you, is that he always get it right. he knows your gift preference: what items you like the most, or, if you like it, handmade gifts. he learns how to do those for you.

with a lot of help from the internet, yuuji and some moral support from nobara, choso sucefully made you a bracelet. he hands it to you carefully, a bit scared that you won't like it. it's one of those bracelets with letters on it, it reads:

“cho loves you”. you look at him, and he seems shy. this is the first time he actually made something instead of buying something.

“ran out of letters, so there was no way to have another S and O.” his tone is a bit apologetical, and his cheeks are pink. “I made it for you.”

before he can say anything else, you pull him for a gentle, sweet kiss. even such lovely action knocks the breath out of his lungs and makes his head spin. your smile when you lean back makes choso think he's in heaven.

“thank you, choso. I loved it, I loved it so much! help me put it on?” you ask with those cute puppy dog eyes.

and of course you could put the bracelet on for yourself, you both know it. but he accepts any excuse to touch you, and you want to see him do it. while he helps you with your new jewelry, it reminds you of the day he slipped a dating ring on your finger.

“done, baby.” he says softly, eyes laying on the bracelet and moving to your hand, where a ring that matches his adorn one of your fingers. his fingertips touches it softly and he smiles, whispering: “I'll marry you someday.”

“what was that, choso?”

“nothing.” he looks away, embarrassed. but in a way, you both know it: it's a promise.

©OHKKOTSUU on tumblr.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter 1: I'm a puppet on a string

A/N: Ok guys, here we go! Thank you all for your love and support, and most of all, for waiting for this last book.  Summary: We are starting on season 15 for a little sneak peak of our lovebirds getting ready for their last day at the BAU. Spencer and his cherie have been married for some time now, and things are going great, until they don't, as they usually do. Let's join for a big flashback and understand all that happened from season 9 to season 15 that lead them to their last day at the BAU. Word count: 7.680 words.  Warnings: Alcohol consumption, fluff, angst, confusion and babies.  

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Next chapter

Spencer's point of view

Thomas Merton once wrote, "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it with another."

Life has never been this good, not like this. I know I haven't slept well in over seven years, due to the constant demands of parenthood, but I don't mind. In fact, I think I love it. I was not a good sleeper before becoming a dad if we are sincere. But waking up ten times every night to change diapers, check for monsters under the bed, or scoot over and allow my kids to sleep next to me, kicking my ribs for the entire night has never been a problem. Because they are my babies, and I would do anything for my kids.

I no longer have every night during the week to bury my head in hundreds of books. I haven't read more than a few every week since Raven was born, seven years ago. Now, my evenings are filled with baby rambles and kids' voices as we play games and read bedtime stories.

My kids. I never thought I could ever say those words. And now look at me, father of three healthy, bright, and beautiful kids. Not even in my wildest dreams I ever imagined being alive could be so fulfilling. Now I have an honest reason to be a better person every day. My babies. My wife. My family. They are my whole life.

I have everything I ever dreamt of: me and (Y/N) have been married for almost nine years. Nine years of waking up next to her, good morning kisses, and cuddles. I still find it hard to believe that she is my wife. The love of my life. The woman I would die for. Just ask me and I will give up everything for her safety and happiness. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds. And with our career choice, a decision that we've had to make more times than we imagined.

Our eldest daughter, Raven Marie, turned seven this year. She is bright and cheerful. She is just like her mother: a natural leader and the light of my day. Vincent is four years old, and he was born an artist. He loves painting and drawing, especially on the walls when no one is watching. We enjoy our trips to the museum together, even more if we get ice cream afterward. And baby Matilda is just three months old. I love holding her in my arms as she sleeps safe and sound. It makes the whole world stop. And the way her big brown eyes stare at me, I swear she can understand every word I say. The three of them make me feel loved in a way I never even imagined.

We live in a beautiful house just outside town, which is perfect for raising our family. It has a large backyard where our kids can play. It even has a tree, so I plan to build a treehouse next summer, probably with Mikey's and Frank's help.

This is everything I always dreamed of and never thought I could have. That is why (Y/N) and I decided we would never let anything jeopardize what we have accomplished. There is nothing more important to us than our babies.

That is why it's time to leave the BAU for good.

Today is our last day as Supervisory Special Agents with the FBI. And though I always thought if this day ever came, I would be devastated, I'm looking forward to this new stage in our lives. As long as we have each other, everything is going to be ok.

I roll in bed and stare at my darling wife asleep beside me. I take in all her features, nose, and closed eyes fluttering occasionally. There are a few gray hairs already showing, stressing her out. I find them sexy if you ask me. We are already 39 years old, I have a few gray hairs myself. My wife's skin looks so soft, so tempting. I wanna mark her mine again, leaving sweet bruises from her neck to her breasts, which are almost exposed underneath her pajamas. The hickies I did last week are barely visible anymore.

But before I get into action to wake (Y/N) with hot kisses all over her body, sweet blabbing sounds coming from the small crib next to our bed catch my attention. Our baby girl is already awake. It's still too early for Matilda to open her eyes, so I roll in bed and hold my baby daughter, rocking her in my arms as we walk around the room.

- "Good morning, Jelly Bean."- I whisper and kiss her forehead- "Thank you for almost letting us sleep through the night last night. Your mom and I have a decisive day today."- Tilly stares at me with her big chocolate eyes and smiles as her tiny finger holds mine tight.

- "Yes baby. Today is your parent's last day working at the BAU, after over fifteen years of service for your mom and seventeen for me."

The words should shock me, or maybe even cause angst or pain. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I'm excited to become a full-time professor at Georgetown, come home every night, and spend time with my kids. No more travels unless they are on vacation, no more chasing psychopaths. I'm ready to leave that life behind me and take care of my loved ones daily.

I walk around the house, enjoying how it's still silent. Holding Tilly close against my chest, I open Vincent's door and watch him sleeping on his little bed. I walk over and cover him with his blanket, knowing in about forty minutes he will be running downstairs, demanding breakfast. Today is hotcakes Friday, I could start the batter and get the coffee ready after I put an eye on the kids.

I head to Raven's room and find her awake. She is sitting on her bed, holding her teddy bear hidden behind Moby Dick.

- "Birdie, what are you doing awake? it's six in the morning"- I whisper as I walk over to her and she widens her eyes, clearly busted.

- "Sorry dadda. I just woke up. I swear."

- "What happens when we don't get enough REM sleep?"- I ask her as I sit by her side, and take her book from her tiny hands.

- "It interferes with memory formation, altering my learning process."

- "Very good. So if you know why you must have nine hours of sleep, why are you awake so early?"- my older daughter giggles and hides underneath her blanket for a moment. I wait for her to show me her face one more time as she whispers.

- "I wanted to know what happened to the giant whale."

- "But this is our bedtime story, Raven. We have to read it together every night."- I try to look serious, but frankly, I feel so proud. I love being able to share my passion for reading with my daughter. Raven fixes her pillow underneath her head and covers herself with her purple blanket.

- "But I'm no longer sleepy, dadda."

- "Just close your eyes for a bit, Birdie. Try to rest and I'll make breakfast. I'll call you when the food is ready, ok?"

- "Can we read two chapters tonight, dadda? Please?"- she looks at me with pleading eyes as I place the book back on her bedside table.

- "Only if you get some more sleep now, ok?"

- "Fine... good night dadda... or is it good morning already?"- I chuckle and kiss her forehead.

- "If you are going to sleep, we still say good night, birdy."

Sometimes I'm sure I'll wake up alone at my old apartment, all this would have been a dream. I never imagined I would love something or someone more than I loved my work. The FBI was my life for so long. But this, my babies, my wife sleeping safe and sound in our house, that means more than anything I could ever achieve at the bureau.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I wake up in bed and immediately feel the cold, empty space beside me, and I don't like it. I'm used to waking up with the warmth of Spencer's arms around me or any of my kids hovering over the covers or sleeping on me. But not today. Today, I am alone on this gigantic bed, and neither my children nor my husband are in sight.

The sweet sound of my kids' laughter somewhere in the house and the smell of hotcakes catches my attention in a second. I could get used to waking up like this. No text warning me that we have to catch a serial killer. No one is trying to hurt my family. No psycho plotting to ruin our lives. Just us in our house, living our sweet dreams.

The last couple of years have been rough, to call it somewhat. Everything we ever tried to avoid from working at the BAU hit us. For a moment it felt like everything that could go wrong, did. And when I say "everything", I mean it. But I don't wanna think of those dark times, I don't wanna start this last day with sorrow. I wanna start it with coffee, hotcakes, and sweet kisses from my babies.

- "Something smells extra good in here!"- I walk into the kitchen and find Spencer flipping hotcakes in a pan, as Raven and Vincent are sitting at the table, eating already and chatting nonstop. My husband smiles as I walk to him and kiss his lips sweetly.

- "How are you today Tilly?"- I whisper as I stare at her, she is asleep against Spencer's chest, in a baby wrap we got when Raven was born, and that my husband loves beyond life itself. Try to take it from him, it's impossible. He loves carrying our kids around in that thing. And when they are too old to fit in, he just carries them on his shoulders or arms all over.

- "One day they will be too big or too embarrassed to be seen like that with me"- he explained to someone, probably some of my aunts or cousins, who argued he was spoiling them rotten. - "And I wanna enjoy every chance I get before we reach that point in life."

Now, if you ask me, I don't think our kids will ever get tired of their dad. They love him too much.

- "Mama! dadda made chocolate chip hotcakes!"- Vinny is clearly running on sugar right now- "They are tasty!"

- "I'm sure they are! They smell delicious!"- I grab a cup and fill it with freshly made coffee- "Can I get you more coffee, hon?"

- "Yes, please ma cheriè."- I pour two cups and add sugar to my husband's as he prepares a dish with hotcakes and scrambled eggs for me and one for him as well.

- "Someone went an extra mile with this breakfast today. Thank you hon"- I kiss him again and take both dishes.

- "It's a special day. You deserve the best breakfast."

- "Well, I'm gonna cook you the best dinner then" - I wink at him and look at our kids- "Are you ready for school, Birdie?"

- "Yeah. I'm excited because in math we are starting to do multiplications! Finally!"- our daughter is honestly happy about math, which I know she didn't get from me.

- "Multiplications? Why were you looking forward to that?"- Spencer asks her, as I help Vinny cut his hotcakes.

- "Because Uncle Frank said we are good at multiplication in this family, so I wanna learn all about it."

I keep my poker face and nod at my oldest daughter, trying to pinpoint any kind of scenario where Frank might have said that to her. Spencer stares at me with wide-open eyes as he clears his throat and sips his coffee.

- "Yeah, math is really fun!"- that's all I can say- "Which is your favorite subject, Vinny?"

- "Art"- I am not shocked.

- "Are you planning on making a new drawing for my desk?"- Spencer asks our son, who takes a few seconds to reply and gives him an honest answer.

- "No, Aunty Lu asked me to do one for her fridge, because her baby can't draw anything yet."- I smile and nod.

- "We should work on that drawing this weekend then."- I say to my boy and kiss the top of his head. I love that my kids know Lu, Frank, and Mikey are also family.

Lu got married a few years ago and last month she had her first baby. I haven't seen her in a few weeks because things have been crazy for both of us, but we text daily. A lot has changed, but our friendship remains the same. Mikey got married as well, to a girl he met at work. They have been together for five years and have a baby girl. I have never seen him this happy before, and it fills my heart with joy to know he is living the life he always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, Frank is still single. Not shocking news, I know. He has a steady girlfriend though, and they are very happy. He and Tarah have been together since Spencer and I got married, and they have the cutest dogs and cats I've ever seen.

- "Ok kids, let's get ready for school."- I put the dishes in the sink and watch our kids run upstairs. Spencer smiles as he finishes his last sip of coffee and I walk to him to take Tilly in my arms.

- "I'm gonna get this little lady ready to spend the day with Nana Sofia so you can take a quick shower, ok?"

- "Thank you, ma cherie."

- "No, thank you for breakfast, Daddy."- I whisper and kiss his coffee-tasting lips as he stares at me, raising an eyebrow subtly. I am teasing him, and I know it. But I can't help it. I love it when he stares at me with those hungry eyes.

- "We have some extra time, in case you wanna join me in the shower."- Spencer whispers and stands in front of me, wrapping his arms around mine, and moving his hands up and down my back, underneath my pajamas.

- "Mom!!"- Raven yells from upstairs- "Vinny got back into his bed and said he won't go to school today!"

- "Hold that thought until tonight."- I sigh and peck his lips- "Take that shower while I get the kids ready."

- "Fine, but you owe me, Mrs. Reid."- I chuckle at his words and shake my head, walking out of the kitchen with our baby secure in my arms.

- "Dr. Reid, I'm keeping count, and as far as I remember, you owe me, big time."

Spencer's point of view

As I drive to our last day at work after dropping the kids at school and Tilly with (Y/N)'s mom, I start to do the math of how many times I've driven us to work in the last few years. Plus all the times I took the subway to get there, before we got married. I know during all those times I never imagined how the last time would feel like. I never even imagined this day would ever come until Raven was born. Ever since I knew she was coming, I seriously considered dropping the life I knew to do anything else. Something that didn't include putting my and my wife's life in danger daily.

After we got married, (Y/N) and I spent a few years trying to catch up with all the time we wasted not confessing our feelings. There wasn't much left to know about each other that we didn't deal with being friends, but being a couple was a completely different thing. Our job came with certain unconventional situations, to call it somewhat. Like the day I realized how badly I wanted to be a dad, after delivering a baby in front of an unsub.

It happened almost eight years ago, not long before we discovered we were going to become parents for the first time. I remember I was out for a drink with Rossi, who had taken very seriously his job to help me transition from a single man with no clue about dates, to a man married to the woman of his dreams.

That night he took me to one of his favorite bars, which apparently had seen better days. It was old, dirty, and mostly empty, except for a very old guy singing karaoke at the back of the room, and some regulars.

- "That's where I saw Carolyn for the first time."- Dave pointed at a table in a corner, where a guy seemed to have passed out. I widened my eyes and looked at him, not impressed.

- "No offense, Rossi, but this place is kind of a dump."- of course, he was offended.

- "Oh, back then it wasn't."- he argued and tried to sell me the place - "Back then, the biggest names would come here: Creedence, The Eagles, Chicago. It was a Marine bar. They played for us jarheads."

- "What was Carolyn doing here?"- I asked, trying to focus on the story and not on the number of bacteria in every glass in that bar.

- "Waiting for Ringo."- Rossie replied as I stared at him surprised. - "Beatlemania was no joke. I mean, it would make the women crazy. She'd write them a letter once a week, begging the band to come visit."

I smiled thinking that sounded like something (Y/N) might have done as well, though instead of writing letters, she would tweet her favorite band and spam them with messages begging for a show in town.

- "Did they ever come?"- I asked and Rossi nodded, with a smile.

- "Ringo did, after his divorce. But luckily, Carolyn met me first. But that's how we all became friends."- I was about to add something when the waitress arrived with our second round.

- "Devil honey for Dave and a light beer for the kid."- I smiled at her and whispered a shy thank you as she left the bottle in front of me. I was about to sip it when the sound of a text message coming from David's phone reminded me duty ruined most of our fun times.

- "Oh, on second thought, Helen... it's Garcia."- Rossi announced and looked at me.

- "So much for a night off."- I sighed and left the bottle back on the table, untouched.

- "You better bring us the bill."

- "Ok. That'll be 10 bucks."- the waitress replied quickly, and I moved to grab my wallet, but David stopped me.

- "No, you can charge us for the drinks we didn't have. Drinks are on me, kid."

- "Everything's marked down until it's all gone."- the waitress announced and showed us a banner announcing Rossi's favorite place was closing in a few days.

- "Oh, you can't close! This place is history!"- he argued immediately, shocked by the news.

- "Unfortunately, Dave, history doesn't pay the bills."- Helen, the waitress, replied and shook her head as Rossi sighed, defeated.

- "Marines used to be big business!"- he said and looked at me, I don't know if waiting for words of support or just trying to convince me.

- "Still are. That's why three new bars opened up across the street."- Helen explained and then asked- "What's that thing they say about competition?"

- "It breeds success?"- I told her, but she cut me off.

- "It sucks."

- "Well..."- Rossi stood up and I followed, grabbing my jacket- "Keep the change."

- "Thank you, Dave."- Helen smiled and looked at him for a few seconds, giving him a knowing look, and then walked away.

- "I hate to see this place go."- Rossi said to me as he stood there, staring around him at all the memories he had in that place. I tapped on his shoulder and walked out of the bar.

- "We could come back again after we solve this case."- I suggested, trying to cheer him up. - "Bring the rest of the team, enjoy one last drink here. I'm sure (Y/N) and García would love to hear all the stories this place has."

When we reached the BAU that night, (Y/N) was already there with Blake, García, and Hotch. I walked toward my wife and held her hand.

- "Ma cherié, did you get to enjoy your evening at home?"- I whispered and she sighed.

- "I prepared the perfect bathtub, got myself a glass of wine, and I had a brand new book to enjoy. And it all went to waste."- she pouted and I ran my thumb down her cheek a few times, caressing her soft skin.

- "I'm sorry, chipmunk."- the rest of the team joined us in the briefing room, which forced us to be professional and move from each other a little bit- "We could take a bath together after we solve this case."

- "That sounds so nice." - (Y/N) sighed and smiled at me. - "How was your night out with Rossi?"- she asked as we sat around the table in the briefing room.

- "We had fun, we have to go to the bar he took me"

- "Was it good?"

- "No, actually it was old and dirty, but it's his favorite and it's closing."- she chuckled as Rossi turned to me, from the other side of the table, looking absolutely offended.

- "It's a very respectable place! You are lucky you visited it!"

- "That's why I'm telling my wife we should go!"- I replied, doing my best not to laugh. I knew he was affected by the closing news.

- "And we will, you don't have to tell me twice."- (Y/N) said quickly- "If there is booze and Rossi approves, I'm dying to go."

That case was in Boston, a psychotic was on the loose and had already killed three men and stolen their wallets. Though nothing tied the victims together, our guy was on a mission, and it was more likely to strike again before we got there.

We were already in the jet, going through the briefs and trying to find anything that could lead us to find this guy quickly.

- "We need to determine where he's finding his victims."- Hotch said, and I locked eyes with my wife, who was sitting next to me.

- "Geographically speaking, none of the victims live near one another, but they were all killed downtown, which is where the unsub likes to operate."- I said as she nodded, but before (Y/N) could say something, Blake commented.

- "That fits with where Maxford works, but not with the other two victims."

- "His area of control, while relatively small, includes a number of residential and commercial buildings."- I started rambling out loud.

- "Can you do the math that might help us?"- my wife suggested.

- "Well, factoring in a 3-mile radius in a city with a population of 636, 479 over 48.28 miles, we're looking at approximately 39,549.23 people living in his comfort zone."- I blurted out and (Y/N) kept staring at me with a sweet smile, as the rest of the team looked at each other like I was a freak.

- "How many of them are male?"- Morgan asked me and I replied in a blink.

- "18.944,08."

- "Garcia, start with the victim's known associates."- Hotch commanded as I felt (Y/N)'s hand on mine, intertwining our fingers.

- "Your brain is so fucking hot"- my wife whispered and I chuckled, embarrassed- "I love hearing you do math on anything."

- "Never let her go, kid"- Rossi overheard her words and smiled at us. I guess so did JJ, 'cos she looked at us with a funny stare in her eyes before standing up and walking to the kitchen to get herself a cup of tea.

Our guy was Tanner Johnson, and he was in fact, on a mission. He wanted to gain his ex-wife's trust back again to prove to her that he could take care of her and her new baby after their 10-year-old Jeremy had died. He wanted to be a good father, and in a way to protect everybody who lived under his roof, he started killing people who he thought were a bad influence for them and even kept a scrapbook, filled with proof of his murders.

I remember being in a van with Morgan, on our way to Mrs. Johnson's house, where she was being kept against her will by our unsub. (Y/N) was with JJ and Blake in another van, as Rossi and Hotch stayed back at the station, watching the surveillance cameras Tanner kept, still streaming everything that was happening in his old family home.

We just made it in time before Mrs. Johnson had the baby, and I was glad for once I had memorized all of the delivery manuals I had come across when JJ was pregnant, just in case she went into labor on the field.

- "Hannah, how far apart are your contractions?"- I put my gun down as I stood in front of Mrs. Johnson and Tanner, who had a knife against her throat. Morgan kept pointing at him, but I knew he didn't have a clean shot.

- "They're constant!"- the poor woman in labor screamed in pain. I looked at Derek and shook my head. I knew I had to do something quickly.

- "The baby's coming now!"- I announced the obvious, knowing the entire team was listening, and hoped for the best.

- "Look, man, your baby is about to be born. Now, we want to help you, but you need to put that weapon down."- Morgan tried to dialogue with Tanner, but it was impossible. He wasn't going to cooperate.

- "No! This is my child! I'm not leaving it!"- the unsub shouted, so I slowly moved closer, put on a pair of gloves, and took a deep breath staring at Mrs. Johnson, trying to get her to mimic my breathing.

- "Hannah, I need you to breathe deeply. Breathe deeply."-

I kneeled in front of her and did my best to look as confident as possible, though deep down I was so freaked out I was hoping I wasn't going to keep any memories of that moment.

- "Hannah, I need you to start pushing..."- I whispered, but she refused.

- "I can't."

- "Yes, you can, baby, just like with Jeremy."- the unsub tried to help, but she didn't want anything from him.

- "This is not helping!"- Hanna mumbled under her breath, she was in so much pain that I knew I had to find a way to get him away from her as soon as possible.

- "Tanner, you need to let her go. The stress isn't good for the baby. If Hannah doesn't start pushing now we could lose the child."- I commanded him, but he kept the knife against her neck and refused to move.

- "I have to watch him. I have to keep him safe."- he argued and stared at me as if I was a threat to the baby's security.

- "Like you did with Ashley?"- Derek caught his attention, which left me focused on the baby.

- "That was an accident. I didn't mean to."- Tanner mumbled

- "I know you didn't. Accidents happen. What happened with Jeremy was an accident, right?"- Derek continued talking, and I knew he had hit a very sensitive string in the unsub. It could only help us or put the baby's safety in jeopardy.

- "If I'd have been there I could have helped him."- Tanner was taken by those words and his whole shift. That was the key to helping Hanna. So I took advantage of his concern.

- "Guys, something's wrong."- I tried my best to look convincing. - "The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's throat."- I didn't want to trouble Hanna, but I had to do something.

- "No!"- Tanner yelled right away, as well as his poor wife.

- "Well, Reid, do something."- Morgan got it right away, and kept his eyes glued on Tanner as I continued lying.

- "I need something to cut the cord with, quickly!"

My words came as urgent as it was needed, and Tanner didn't hesitate to give me the knife to cut the cord. In two seconds, Morgan grabbed him and started taking him out of the room, as the unsub yelled and tried to fight back. Just then, (Y/N) walked in with JJ and Blake, and she quickly kneeled next to me.

- "Don't worry, Hannah, your baby's doing fine, but you need to keep pushing. Ready?"

- "Medics are on their way."- my wife announced, but I shook my head and continued doing my work.

- "We can't risk moving her now. We'll have to deliver the baby here."

- "Oh, God!"- Hanna yelled and (Y/N) quickly held her hand after putting a pillow underneath her back.

- "It's gonna be ok, Hanna, trust him, he is a doctor."- I looked at my wife for a second and though I knew she meant it as words of reassurance for the victim, they worked for me as well.

- "Come on! squeeze her hand as hard as you can and push"- I said and watched her struggle to do it.

- "Oh, I can't. I can't."

- "Yes, you can! You're doing great!"- (Y/N) said and rubbed Hanna's hand on her- "You are amazing!"

- "Yes! you're doing great. I can see the head! Keep pushing! Keep pushing!"

It didn't take much for the baby to come out. I held him in my hands, (Y/N) helped me cut the umbilical cord, and we wrapped him in a blanket that was lying around on a couch. Medics arrived and took care of Hanna while my wife held the newborn with tears in her eyes.

- "You are amazing Spencer."- she whispered as the two of us kept our eyes on the baby- "I can't believe you just did that."

- "I wouldn't have done it without you, ma cherie."- I replied and kissed her temple.

- "You are not delivering our babies, by the way."- she said after a few seconds and chuckled- "I'm gonna need all the epidural they can give me."

And just like that, the thought was inside my brain like a disease that wouldn't stop spreading. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about having babies with (Y/N). I had imagined a future with her in many ways possible. And that was exactly the point: at that moment in our lives, it was possible. And the overwhelming amount of things that could go wrong was impossible to overlook. They were there each time I looked at her.

Ever since we got married, the possibility of having kids has been present in our lives. We weren't officially trying, but I knew it was something we were both thinking about. And for a moment, it was perfect. Until I remembered there was a chance our kids could inherit my mother's schizophrenia. I know that disease tends to run in families, and though studies show there is no single gene to be responsible, the possibility of having kids with that disease was real. And I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever put (Y/N) through any painful situation.

So I tried not to bring the subject up after we came back home, and for a few days, it worked. Until, well, it didn't.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I knew there was something wrong with Spencer as soon as we hopped back into the jet from Boston. He delivered that baby and something triggered him. I didn't want to pressure him, so I acted like a good wife and let him process the events at his own pace. I assumed it had something to do with the whole experience of delivering that kid and the fact we had talked a few times about having our own little family, but probably that whole moment had been eye-opening for him.

What if he didn't want to have kids anymore? What if he wasn't as ready as I felt? I was ready to quit taking the pill. I wanted to start trying to get pregnant. I wanted a little Spencer to love and take care of. Teach them all the things I knew. Watch them grow... I was fully ready to be a mom, and somehow I was scared to bring it up to Spencer. I was afraid he didn't want to anymore.

And then, the team made sure to force us into the conversation the Friday night we were all out together. We were at Rossi's favorite marine bar, the one he had brought my husband earlier in the week. Penelope and I gathered a bunch of people from the FBI and invited them over to say farewell to a piece of Washington's history. We also told them Rossi was buying the drinks, which explains why it was packed.

- "So, let's toast"- I said and raised my glass. The entire team and my husband were there with me, to enjoy our free night- "To spend more evenings together with family."

- "And to Dr. Spencer Reid, who may be adding M. D. to an already impressive list of credentials."- Hotch added, looking at my husband, who blushed, embarrassed.

- "And to Spencer Johnson, may he prove to be the child prodigy like his namesake."- Derek added- "I'm shocked there is a kid named after you out there before you two even have your first baby."

I know I smiled because little Spencer was a very cute and healthy baby, and I was (and still am) proud my husband helped deliver him. But the guys didn't stop teasing us after that.

- "And when are we going to have baby geniuses running around the BAU?"- Garcia asked- "I am ready to start knitting and spoiling your kids!"

- "Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't knocked your wife up already!"- and Morgan was on board with the joke- "I mean, are you doing things properly?"

- "Stop!!"- I nearly covered my ears with my hands

- "Emily said she'd happily fly from London just to assist with the baby shower I'm throwing you."

- "Penelope, I am not even pregnant yet."- I tried to reason with her, but it was useless.

- "You just said so, yet. But you will. Please! you'd make the cutest little munchkins!"- Garcia stared at me pouting.

- "Come on, don't pressure them."- Hotch tried to be the voice of reason, but it was impossible.

- "I'm sure Henry would love having a little cousin"- JJ smiled at us and sipped her drink.

- "Come on! This night is not about us."- Spencer chuckled, clearly awkward with the conversation, and raised his glass of whisky- "To Dave Rossi!"- and luckily, everybody else followed.

- "I still can't believe you guys did this."- Dave was surprised the place was packed

- "We wanted to make sure you had one last proper goodbye."- I assured him and felt his arm around me.

- "Grazzie, carissima!"

- "And I may or may not have posted on the Quantico message boards that all the drinks are on you tonight."- Garcia confessed, making us all laugh, busted.

- "And they are, indeed. Thank you very much!"- Dave added and we all raised our glasses again. The guys continued talking, but Spencer's eyes captured my whole attention. He was staring at his hands, holding his glass. He seemed concerned about something he clearly was overthinking. So I let David's arm go and walked closer to my husband.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered, resting my hand on top of his. He slightly jumped and looked at me, surprised.

- "Yeah, sorry. I zoned out a little. I'm exhausted."

- "Do you wanna go home?"

- "No, it's Rossi's night..."- Spencer smiled with his teeth, but not with his eyes.

- "The guys..."- but before I could continue talking, I felt JJ's hand grabbing me and my husband and crawling us to the stage.

- "Come on guys!! Karaoke time!"- she commanded, as she gave us a mic, and Rossi started singing Billy Joey's "Piano Man". I looked around me, chuckling, 'cos the whole scene was surreal. The entire FBI quarters was in that bar, drinking and singing along as my friends and I sang karaoke. And Hotch even made a video.

Spencer held my hand as he tried to read the lyrics of The Piano Man, and I stared at him remembering the day he proposed. That was one of the most romantic things he had ever done. And watching him sing karaoke in that bar brought me back a million memories. We had grown so much already, that I felt we were ready to take our relationship to the next level: parenting. But somehow, I was scared to ask my husband if he wanted to have a baby with me.

As the night progressed, and Penelope got drunker and drunker, she continued to ask us about kids. She was very excited and eager to become an aunt. Apparently, our baby geniuses were what her life was lacking. Rossi was pretty drunk too, he sang a lot of Sinatra and even dragged Hotch on stage with him for a duet. I had a few whiskeys myself trying to find the courage to face my husband, who had a few drinks as well but kept doing his best to mask the fact something was bothering him.

Until I couldn't stand it anymore.

- "Ok, come here."- I grabbed Spencer's hand and dragged him through the crowd. I heard Morgan teasing us but I paid little attention to what he said. I just looked for a quiet spot in that packed bar, which ended up being the alley outside and asked my husband.

- "What is hunting that pretty brain of yours?"- and he stared at me with wide-opened eyes, trying to come up with something to deny what was obvious to me.

- "How much did you drink, chipmunk? I'm ok."

- "No you are not, you haven't been ok since we came back from the last case. So come on, spit it. I don't wanna dance around this for days until we both do something stupid or say something hurtful. Just say it, what is eating you alive?"

Spencer stared at me and finished his drink- a light beer- his eyes were so sweet and yet filled with fear. What was so scary that he couldn't share with me?

- "I hate that you know me so well sometimes"- he whispered and looked down at his shoes

- "No you don't. You love it."- I teased him and smiled as I walked closer and rested my hands on his waist- "Come on honey bunny. You know you can tell me anything."

- "I know."

- "So? Are you gonna tell your wife what's wrong?"- I whispered and Spencer finally looked at me. His puppy eyes could melt the coldest heart, and make my knees shake.

- "Let me ask you this"- he whispered after a few seconds of a very deep silence- "When you married me, did you ever think that my family's illness history might affect our kids?"

I stared at him confused. Which was that illness' history he was talking about? As far as I knew, it was just his mother's schizophrenia. Was there something else he never told me about?

- "What?"- I simply asked and Spencer stared at me like the answer was obvious- "You mean Diana?"- he nodded and looked back at his feet again, embarrassed he brought it up.

- "I just... can't stop thinking I could never forgive myself if our kids inherit any of..."- he stopped talking and shook his head, unable to even finish that sentence.

- "Where is this coming from? Why are you thinking about these kinds of things?"

I held his hand and kissed it, his eyes were still glued to his feet, not moving. A few curls of hair fell down his forehead, giving him an angelic look.

- "I never even considered it, Spencer. Not even once. Every time I think about our kids, I dream of them running around, catching bugs, and eating cookies"- I tell him my truth. I never considered Diana's schizophrenia as something we could even think about when it came to our kids. Why should we? You can't predict any disease and fear was not going to stop me from having my own family.

Spencer held my left hand and kissed my ring finger, a sweet gesture he did quite often, especially when something was troubling him.

- "I would never forgive myself if any of them inherited a disease from me."- the way Spencer whispered those words, so slowly, so scared. It moved me.

- "Honey, you won't..."

- "I just don't want to ruin their life"- his eyes filled with tears and his voice broke. My husband was honestly concerned about something that we couldn't even control. And I knew that meant that idea was eating him alive.

I remember walking with him from the back alley of a bar to our car parked on the other side of the street. It was late and everyone at the party was already drunk, so I didn't bother saying goodbye or telling anyone we were leaving.

Spencer and I sat in the back seat of our car and I held both of his hands as he kept trying not to cry. His jaw was tightened and his eyes glassy. It made me feel so guilty. My husband had been chewing those torturous thoughts the entire week, and I had been blind enough to think he was merely second-guessing having kids with me.

- "Spencer, I need you to look at me."- I whispered and held a finger underneath his chin, forcing his eyes to focus on mine. He bit his lip as I did my best to remain calm.

- "This is important, so please give your entire attention and eidetic memory."- I tried to joke, but he didn't smile or even move his face as I spoke.

- "Ever since I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of how amazing it would be having kids with you."- I said, and tears started falling from his eyes as I spoke. I had to pause and rearrange my thoughts, because watching him so affected made me think I was doing something wrong.

- "And you know that was way before we even started dating. Which means I've dreamed about having kids with you for a long time. And never, and I mean never, the thought of them inheriting any kind of trait from either of us has made me second guess or reconsider my dreams. I want a family with you, Spencer Walter Reid. I want to have your babies. I want to carry your children, a lot of them, as many as we can."

My husband cried and sobbed as I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me. I didn't know what to do or what to say next. I just wanted to take all the pain away from him.

- "I just... I just want to make you happy."- he mumbled against my neck as I kept running my fingers through his hair and trying my best to be the support he needed at that minute.

- "You already make me happy, Spencer."- I kissed his cheek, not moving an inch away from him- "And I know our kids will make me even happier."

- "I just wish I knew they are going to be healthy."

- "They will be."- I assured him, not giving it much thought.

- "But how do you know?"

- "You are gonna be their dad. You will never let anything bad happen to them."- I affirmed, though it sounded more like an order to fate. - "And I'm gonna be their mom, I will always take care of our babies."

- "You are not scared?"- he asked softly and looked at me with teary eyes.

- "The only thing that scares me to death is the idea of you not wanting to have babies with me."- I confessed, and though he was the one crying, I felt embarrassed sharing my deepest fear.

- "I want so many babies with you. I've thought about it since we met."- my husband answered, and for a second, he smiled at me- "I was scared to bring it up, but... I'm so ready to be a dad."

- "Then please, let me make you a dad."- I was so eager to change his mood and lift his spirits, that I was almost ready to do it right there, in the back seat of our car. His lips found mine, and we sealed our pack, as his arms wrapped me tight and held me close to him.

We were finally ready to start our little family.  

Next chapter

[royal-husbands]

What can I say about this betrayal? I had a lot of thoughts, really, and Criston showed a lot of emotions, as if I saw a book!Cole, I really liked it, thanks to Fabien for his work. But Aemond?? Oh, we all know how much they are trying to make the greens look bad guys now, and I already wrote that if there is betrayal, I will still be with the Aegonds. And I'm still, yeah, hi. Because Aemond did not go to "finish off Aegon", as some were afraid (and write). Even before Criston, he had tried to sheathe his sword. No attempts to kill his brother. A sincere check on what happened there. To some extent, I can even agree with Ewan's words about "was it an accident or was it on purpose". What do we know? That he didn't fly to help right away. Yes, it is a fact. Why? It's a controversial issue, I don't want to describe it here, if anyone is interested, I'll tell you my thoughts separately. Was he aiming only at Aegon? No, Meleyse's head was there too. To be honest, I see in this something dark!Aemond, who knows what can happen to Aegon after dracarys, but that will also allow him to be chained to the Red Keep so that he doesn't do it (flying towards danger) anymore, right? Right. Here's the answer about my attitude to this. That's it, thank you all, I'll go on writing jokes.

[alienelvisobsession]

Jerry Schilling Appreciation Society

I just finished Jerry’s book (Me and a Guy Named Elvis) and oh my god, he’s the bestest friend. Unlike many others who wrote books about Elvis, he’s very tactful and respectful. His love for E is obvious and sincere, but it’s not just that. He seems to be just a very good person: honest, insightful and introspective. He doesn’t bad-mouth anybody, not even the people who didn’t like him. I loved reading about his shenanigans with E, like going to see Nixon or the taco contest they had in Hawaii! Oh and also, he’s hot, ya know?

Jerrah is love. ❤️ Let’s take a moment to appreciate hunka Jerry.

[autumn-foxfire]

Usually when I'm this annoyed I try and turn the negatives into more positive writing so here we go:

Shinichi didn't even look up from his phone when Ran barged into his room with enough force to knock his door harshly against the wall.

"You're cheating on me!" she screeched, her voice overly dramatic in a way that made Shinichi smile.

"So you finally noticed," he replied with a grin, "I'm so sorry, Ran, I have a mistress on the side."

He didn't even need to look up to know Ran was grinning as well. He did look up when the plush football Ran had won at a carnival and had given to him (or well, she had thrown it near him and told him to fetch like he was some kind of dog) was thrown at his head.

"Sonoko saw you!" Ran continued, even as she burst into small giggles as she could no longer fake her facade, "You were talking with other women!"

"A crime truly unforgivable," Shinichi agreed with a shake of his head as Ran jumped onto his bed and her giggles turned into laughter, "You must let me go, Ran, we could never work out."

Ran was struggling to contain it now, "I deserve better!" she managed to choke out through her laughter.

Shinichi smiled, "Now that, I definitely agree with," he said sincerely.

Ran's laughter settled and she collapsed back on Shinichi's bed, the two of them falling into a comfortable silence for a moment.

"I'm going to tell her." Ran spoke up eventually.

Shinichi raised his eyebrows, "You ready?" he asked in mild surprise. "You know the moment you tell her, she's going to try and hook you up with all the hot women she knows."

"Oh no, what a nightmare," Ran deadpanned, and shot Shinichi a grin, "Imagine all the rich and beautiful women Sonoko knows."

"You mean all the stuck-up heiresses," he replied.

"Says the rich kid," Ran muttered, slapping Shinichi's leg. The smile dropped from her face, overtaken by a serious expression, "I'm ready," she answered, "I'm a bit tired of her calling you my husband, if I'm honest," she wrinkled her nose in distaste, "You'd be a terrible husband, abandoning me whenever you find a case and leaving me to wait for you like a fishermans wife. No thank you."

"Huh, and here I thought it was because you only like women," Shinichi huffed, "Excuse me for being passionate about my career."

Ran giggled, "I'm not wrong though," she sang, "No offense, but it's not what i'm looking for in a partner."

"Yeah, you want all that romantic crap you love in books and movies," Shinichi taunted and Ran slapped his leg again.

"Sorry for being romantic, you uncultured detectived geek," she snapped back.

Shinichi smiled down at her, "I'm happy for you," he said, earnestly.

Ran's lips wobbled and a worried crease appeared on her forehead, "You don't think... Sonoko will hate me, do you?" she asked.

Shinichi snorted, though he quickly tried to hide it when Ran scowled up at him, "Sonoko would murder anyone who tried to hurt you," he answered, "If anything, she'll just take it in stride."

Ran's voice was small as she whispered, "Do you really think so?"

Shinichi reached down to squeeze her shoulder, "I've deduced so," he said, "And you know me, I'm never wrong."

"Conceited asshole," Ran muttered, but the smile returned to her lips, "Thanks Shinichi."

"Anytime."

------

This is a continuation of Ran and Shinichi being closeted besties that I've wrote before, here.

[silviakundera]

Dramas I watched in 2023

[Chinese Dramas]

My Journey to You - Wuxia. Spy games, badass ladies, subtextually homoerotic cousins. Gentle & sweet ML who melts the cold & calculated heart of FL assassin. Gorgeous setting and cinematography. Left me with a burning desire to see Zhang Ling He play more gentle babygirl MLs and Esther Yu to play more anti-heroes. Absolutely perfect to me.., if we just pretend the director didn't add a pointless cliffhanger in the last 5 min. Which is how I choose to live my life.

Story of Kunning Palace - 'rebirth' costume drama that I waited to air for like 2 years or something and then it... actually didn't disappoint? And was almost everything I wanted? 😳😲 This is THE couple for that post about the pair that need to be stuck in a neverending monogamous relationship with each other as a quarantine measure to protect everyone else.

A Journey to Love - wuxia perfection. The stand-out drama that I wasn't expecting. Murder mommy & murder daddy became an otp for the ages and all of the supporting characters were interesting and dynamic. I cared about so many more characters than I expected and never fast fowarded. Just immensely satisfying.

The Ingenious One - wuxia with a weak, scheming scholar protagonist on a revenge quest (yes, we've all heard that before!) who puts together a group to execute his cons, Leverage style. I love me a martial artist x weak scholar couple 👌. Some exciting twists & turns in this one. Both A Journey to Love and The Ingenious One are best enjoyed coming in with little to no information. Hell, skip the trailers and simply dive in!

Hidden Love - Modern drama. Top tier romance-novel-on-screen writing and acting. It felt honest and real. The coming of age arc for the FL was well done. Great brother & sister relationship that feels authentic. The ML's backstory was so heart breaking because it was never overplayed for melodramatics. Just a quiet pain, a distance and a burden he carried with him.

Road Home - Modern. "Do you remember who I am?" / "Yes. If I were to turn to ashes, I would still remember you." I am very weak for the "reunited exes", "second time around" trope when the actors are capable and the breakup wasn't a narratively convenient 'misunderstanding'. As a career woman who works very long hours, I also tend to appreciate modern drama relationships where the couple manages to stay functional & supportive while not having a lot of free time for each other. That's my version of wish fulfillment 😂. I felt like this narrative made me fully understand why they couldn't make a long distance relationship work as young adults but now they're ready and have experienced enough of the world to know that they are happier with their lives joined together than apart.

Love You Seven Times - xanxia. I wrote a whole review post (love letter) on this one, since it seems rather underrated. I feel like this one may actually end up one of my fav examples of the genre. I just sincerely bought into the couple and their mutual devotion.

The Last Immortal - xanxia. Terrible trailer but turns out to be a decent show. I'm a fan of the genre, so I'm enjoying it. (I think you do need to be, to enjoy it - it doesn't transcend or really subvert..just a solid representation of xanxia) I like both lead actors and they do a good job with the material. It's working better for me than Ancient Love Poetry and Ashes of Love. After being eager for Song of the Moon in 2022 but then being let down (I dropped that one quick), I'm very happy 2023 brought me 2 xanxia I liked.

Three Body - modern sci-fi. Book 1 of my fav sci-fi trilogy of recent years. As a novel fan first, I was pleased to see it on screen with talented actors. Eager for book 2.

Love Me, Love My Voice - modern drama with an unusual couple (2 introverts) and dubbing fandom hyper fixation. A laid back relaxation drama, to de-stress with. Minimal plot, no conflict. Just sweet slow burn relationship building, singing & audio performances. Supportive friendships.

Here We Meet Again - modern drama that suffered from sloppy editing. I mean almost incoherent editing in a couple places, like when they are counting down the days until getting married and then.. It's not mentioned again? 🙃 But I very much enjoyed the couple's chemistry. I can't say it was objectively good but it sure was compulsively watchable for some reason.

Royal Rumors - Costume drama that was so aggressively mediocre that I don't have any real explanation for not dropping it. Except I find the lead actress unspeakably alluring. Blame my hormones.

Dropped

Back to the Brink - xanxia. Great concepts but the execution didn't work for me. I'm not a fan of slapstick and wacky humor within serious subject matter. (It's the reason kdramas can be very hit or miss with me.) The amount of humor layered into AJourney to Love is basically my limit for tragicomedies. (Note: I did go read the book and it was very entertaining - the tone was much more to my taste.)

My Lethal Man - modern. Embarassing english name, but they had me in the first half, not gonna lie. Then after her identity was exposed, I wasn't feeling it idk. Sometimes it's just not that complicated.

Destined/Chang Feng Du - costume drama. idk really why I dropped. I watched about a 3rd of it and then was distracted by other shiny objects. I plan to come back to this one in 2024 and finish.

Romance of the Twin Flower - costume drama; unholy abomination of a great novel. I hope somehow, someday, the culprits pay for their crime. Need I say more?

[Korean Dramas]

Perfect Revenge Marriage - a modern rebirth tale. For the 90% of it, I was high on the love of a drama that is just what you didn't know you wanted. The camp, the dedication, the scenery chewing, the glorious evil step mother. It was magical. And then the last 2 episodes I found underwhelming. I can't really explain it, the climax just didn't hit for me. But that's very much a personal taste issue and I'd definitely recommend to all drama lovers who enjoy the genre. Seriously, the performance of evil step mommy was a master class.

King the Land - modern workplace romance. I've heard complaints that there wasn't much of plot. But tbh that was fine with me, because some dramas are simply character pieces. This was all about the personal growth of the FL and ML. I ended up invested and rooting for the ML to become a decent guy who isn't a gross classist like his dad.

Destined with You - modern reincarnation drama. I blame my lingering kdrama good feelings about King the Land for convincing me to keep powering thru this one. Such a strong start but then half-way in I began to realize it simply wasn't going to go into the direction I wanted it to. I still have no idea what they intended to communicate with that love potion subplot.

Vincenzo - modern crime drama. I was late to the party on this one. But after I got around to watching the delightful Kinnporsche, this was rec'd to me as another drama that embraced the bigger than life unreality of Fantasy Mafia™ and provides a rollicking good time. Absolutely ridiculous and compulsively watchable. 10/10.

[American]

House of the Dragon - Awful people doing awful things to each other, as a 1st act before everything goes straight to hell. Plus freaky dragon-riding fantasy incest. What's there not to like?

Fall of the House of Usher (YES i DO watch every horror drama by Mike Flanagan thx) - Was it as good as the first 3..? No. Did I still breathlessly binge it in 2 days? Yes. Awful things happening to awful people, poetically. 👌 👌

[dufferpuffer]

Can I ask what your Sirius Black Sex headcannons would be? I read your Snape and Lupin ones, and they were written SO well!

Oh my god I wrote a whole thing out and I was proud of it and then the draft vanished Sirius Black is hard for me (heh) because he doesn't live in my skull, he just visits from time to time. He's a dear, always brings a gift... Sometimes he does the dishes.

...That's exactly who he is: A dear. Thoughtful, kind, sweet... far more genuinely than Remus, who tries hard to please others. Sirius only does what he wants to do. He isn't a doormat, he isn't proving himself, he isn't trying to impress - he just exists as he is. That's all he has ever had to do. He's always been 'good enough' for the people he cares about - and the people he doesn't care about he ignores. His heart is an open book. He expresses his true emotions brazenly. He faces all issues head-on. You always now what you're getting into with Sirius Black, because he will make it clear. (In comparison: -- Remus Lupin lies. He wears mask after mask to hide how he feels. He avoids dealing with altercations - even if it means letting things he thinks are wrong happen. -- Severus Snape is naturally much like Sirius - but it has been crushed. He has closed his book and holds it close to his chest. He has learned to hide the emotions he doesn't want to display under masks. He still faces issues head-on, but he has learned the value of sometimes waiting and watching to make the best move.) So he is genuine. He is honest. He can be as serious as he is playful. He is wise, too - he has experienced true suffering just as he has experienced true connection. He fights on behalf of other people, even at severe cost to himself - and he doesn't back down. Mix that in with being tall, handsome, a little dark but incredibly sweet - and all the manners of being raised in a Pure-blood household, with none of the pointless formality... People often think he is more flirtatious than he actually is. He isn't flirting when he sits down and listens to your troubles, holds your hand and sympathizes, looks you in the eye and lists the good qualities he sees in you - despite only knowing you a short while. That's just who he is. He is the sort of man people emulate when they are trying to impress others. He suffers for that, as people think he is being fake and manipulative. He is 'too perfect' for his own good lol

He charms people by being himself, they lust after him... and when they realize he 'didn't mean it' they get insecure and blame him. ...Romantic/sexual relationships are such a hassle... It's difficult to actually connect to someone when you're known for being a 'heartbreaker'. It's hard to feel confident in yourself in that way, when people assume you have mountains of experience you don't actually have. He isn't typically an insecure man at all, but... How does he express interest without it seeming fake when his natural honesty feels fake to others? He has always been 'good enough' at everything - and yet at 35 his experience in this one area is still in its adolescent infancy. How do you portray sincerity when you're always sincere? He's semi-sworn off the whole idea. It's not something he seeks out. Sexuality wasn't something he missed much in Azkaban. He missed genuine connection more - he values friendship above all else. A dementor at his door at all times - he didn't have strength to dream of anything as grand as touch... he was too busy dreaming of basic comfort. (The desire for intimacy/romance with someone is perhaps the only thing he would mask and hide. He has more important things to do, after all... no need to complicate things with heartbreak. But he isn't good at masking things. It eats at his soul.) If he were to engage with someone they would already be close, already special, already understand him. I'm not sure if he even CAN feel attraction to someone he isn't already loyal friends with. What does this mean for intimacy with him...?

He agonizes over 'doing it right' when he confesses desire. He isn't usually like that, he has never worried about studying for tests or impressing people - but he NEEDS to get his point across when it comes to this. He doesn't shy away from extravagant displays of love- he thinks they are fun. 100 bouquets on Valentines day? Hilarious to give OR to receive. But a confession? That's not fun. It's serious. He doesn't know any other way to emphasize his earnestness, to PROVE he is sincere, other than to go BIG. He will back out last minute if 'the vibe isn't right'. (It's not lost on him that extreme actions might have the opposite effect, and it's probably best to just take them aside and speak heart-to-heart... but it is hard to trust that will be enough when he is always speaking to people heart-to-heart.)

He is touch-starved. Once he is allowed to touch someone he is clingy. His hands are ALWAYS somewhere - preferably on skin. Holding hands, resting atop your shoulder, on the small of your back, wrapped around your waist, holding your hip with his fingers gently feeling inside your shirt or in the top of your pants... It doesn't matter how many seats are free on the sofa, he is leaning against you, putting his arm around your shoulders or seating you on his lap, or sitting on YOUR lap. He looks like he is being overly protective, and maybe he is a little - but he values touch. Even as a dog. He will lay down and snooze while his tail wags softly against your leg - or flop his head on your thigh and beg for pats...

...That leads to intimacy just being a part of daily life. He doesn't differentiate much between cuddling on the couch and having sex on the couch. To him, sex is less of its own special activity and more of an extension to other activities. That takes the pressure off of him to perform, too. He knows he is inexperienced - and there's no expectations if its just a cuddle that happens to include his dick or ass. He is a switch.

But he DOES perform. He does everything he can to make sure you are satisfied even if it means his own satisfaction is neglected. If he finishes too fast because he struggles to hold on: He will keep going until he is physically unable, then switch to his hands or mouth to try and finish the job. If he struggles to finish because he is too used to his own hand or its just something he struggles with in general, depression and PTSD is a bitch: He doesn't even care. He will stop when his partner has had enough. He is emotionally satisfied by their satisfaction. Blue balls don't bother him anymore, not after everything he has gone through.

...Though he will never turn down being pleased, if its offered. It's just not a priority. But there is something special about having a mouth on his cock. Something about being able to look into someones eyes while they warm him and show him affection. (You'd think a 69 would be perfect, and he does like it - but if he is giving pleasure he wants to be able to focus on it fully. He prefers the focus simple oral allows. Also he is tall, and unless his partner is also tall this can lead to problems.)

He is so good with his hands. He becomes good at everything, because he is dedicated to learning - a good kisser, good at oral, good at fucking - good at being fucked... Every encounter is a chance for him to practice. But his hands... he doesn't just touch, he feels. Holding hands is an intimate experience because he enjoys it so immensely. He savors every texture, every bump and blemish a precious treasure. Just feeling along your body is enough to make his breath shudder. No matter what else he is doing, sexual or not, his hands are feeling and stroking and gripping and enjoying. He is very familiar with them, having spent 12 years staring at them. After only being able to perform magic with his fingers rather than a wand. After only having himself to hold and pretend someone was here to comfort him.

He gets off to enthusiastic consent. He might push the envelope sometimes 'come on, Darling... you can take a bit more for me...' but the moment he feels like his partner is uncomfortable he doesn't get a dominating power kick - he gets concerned. It would take him a long time to warm up to anything that includes discomfort, even intentional discomfort.

He cant stand wishy-washy shyness. Someone being meek, who needs him to do everything, unsure about things... (He couldn't stand Remus. Even if he understands why Remus acts this way - it squicks him out.) ...He doesn't want to feel like he is taking. He wants to give.

The biggest betrayal in his mind is to be lied to. He cannot understand why so many others aren't as open and honest as he is. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't like that? Why did you pretend you did?! 'So I wouldn't feel bad'?? well I feel WORSE now!!!' Putting on a fake smile is the biggest insult he can imagine. He is being honest every single day of his life - and his partner is hiding their thoughts and feelings from him?! He is very patient and accepting. It doesn't matter the kink, fetish, desire, exploration, secret or issue - if his partner is open with him about it he is happy to try. He is happy to talk it out.

He is Poly. It's rare for him to like someone, and he is too loyal to ever cheat - but he is open enough with his feelings that if he DOES happen to like someone else he will say so. Having two or more people to cuddle with? At the same time OR separately? He literally can't think of anything better. That goes the other way, too - if his partner likes someone else he is the first to jump in and suggest they go for it. Champion Wingman. Even if he isn't a part of that second relationship. As long as he is loved and understood - he wants his partner to be happy. ...This doesn't help his image of being a flirtatious playboy. But anyone who thinks that doesn't matter as much to him as his partners, or his partners' partners.

He hates being bored. Being bored brings up memories. Being cold brings up memories. Being alone brings up memories. It can be difficult, locked in a big empty cold lonely house where every wall seems to hate him... He'd rather have sex than be bored. It's better than booze - though drunk sex sounds like an adventure! Since sex is an extension of other activities for him - he inserts it everywhere he can when things get quiet. It's entertaining AND fuels his desire for touch. He loves a good quickie. Leaving a meeting to use the bathroom...? He's right behind you to push you up against a wall, just because it seemed like a fun idea to sneak around.

Is this accurate...? It's how I see him, at least. Sirius Black genius' are welcome to confirm/correct/deny/expand.

[twilightrocksfanfic]

reid x reader confess their feelings

summery: takes place right after 6x10 where the team was joined by a young agent whom Spencer thought was pretty (Garcias words) and BAU reader was jealous and wants to apologize. While reader believes Spencer to be entirely aware of her feelings she says a lot of things that confuse Spencer, because, turns out, he had no idea

information: fluff, use of she/her pronouns but reader could be gender neutral, I wrote this in the middle of the night (my head hurts) so I can’t guarantee quality at this time

authors note: so apparently I write for criminal minds now. I am currently obsessed with this show and Spencer Reid specifically so there might be more in the next few days. Twilight content will still be coming because that is my main hoe but its fun to do other things on the side.

pls let me know if you have any constructive feedback.

----------------------------------------------

You found Spencer, with his feet up on a table, in the conference room. He was running his finger over the pages of a battered book, whilst looking over at a file on the desk.

He was totally lost in his work and for a second you stood and admired him.

“Hey Spence, you got a minute?” He looked up at you, momentarily startled. He looked back down on the page, flipped it over after a second and then closed the book without putting a bookmark in. He would find that page again and you knew it.

“Yes sure, what’s up?” He had taken his feet of the table and was now leaning forward, resting his elbows on it.

You closed the door behind you and, with closed eyes, took a deep breath. You had headed for a chair but when you touched its back you decided against sitting down. You needed all the confidence you could get.

“I uh, I’m sorry, about the way I acted when we were out.” You could feel yourself staring at him, subconsciously analyzing every muscle that moved on his face he raised an eyebrow.

“I was jealous and unprofessional and above all I was a bad friend, and I’m sorry for that.” You pulled your face into a grimace, that was supposed to be a smile but you felt that it really wasn’t that, so you willed your muscles to relax again.

Spencer got up now. You had no idea why and he just looked at you for what felt like minutes. Then he started to pace. He was always pacing when he needed to think without getting distracted by himself.

“What are you talking about?” He turned back to face you, and, in his face, you could read nothing but confusion.

“The way I treated you, and Ashley, I’ll apologize to her, it just didn’t feel right you know, but I will and I- Spencer you’re important to me and your happiness is important to me and I sometimes forget that, that might mean that I have to compromise myself a little bit and I am sorry.”

He was pacing again but you knew he was listening. The way he always listened. You trusted that he knew your apology was sincere and tried to live with the silence while he figured out what to say.

After a minute or two he came to a halt, raising his hand as if pointing at something, although he did not really point. He opened his mouth and closed it again almost immediately looking almost confused at his own behavior.

“What are you working out right now?”

“I’m still caught up on the jealous part to be honest.” That startled you.

“I mean I know that I usually deal really well with my feelings and honestly I was surprised, not in a good way, by how much you flirting with her bothered me and I didn’t check in with myself before, I just freaked out and... why are you making me tell you all of this” you ended your rant looking up at him.

He took a step towards you, raising his hands as if to touch you and then lowering them again.

“Spencer, what is going on?”

“You like me?” He looked so genuinely confused that this was the first time, ever, really, that you even considered that he was oblivious to your feelings. That he genuinely thought that Garcia’s and Morgan’s jokes were just jokes, that he felt like it was just a coincidence that you would always end up in a room together when the team needed to share.

The more that this dawned on you the bigger your eyes became. You had covered your mouth starring at him.

“Oh no…” He took a step back from you and started to pace again and though you usually enjoyed watching him right now every step of his made your heart beat faster by tenfold.

“Can you stop that. You’re making me nervous.” Spencer stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you again.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was really sure you knew. With you being an FBI profiler and everything, I didn’t think someone having a crush on you would slip. The others all know.” He looked like a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place when you told him that.

“Oh”

“Yeah” the two of you almost seemed frozen.

“How’d you not know?” You asked him, thinking about all the times he had said things about you finding a good boyfriend, with how willing he was to flirt with other women, with the way he always pretended that he didn’t hear when Morgan asked him when he was gonna propose. 

It had always looked like he was going out of his way to not get your hopes up.

“I mean I have certainly suspected it, but I was too uncertain that my judgement was clouded, so I didn’t put too much weight on it. But with all the time we spent together, it was really only a matter of time before someone in this team caught feelings for another member.” His eyes rested on you, for the first time since you’d started this conversation did he look calm.

“I just thought it would be highly unlikely that it would happen to two of us.” You stared in disbelief.

“No.” you shook your head and now you had to sit down. Your knees were soft.

Spencer pulled a chair out next to you.

“What do you want me to say to that?” You asked, looking up from your hands.

“I feel like we should both be more excited about this turn of events than we are currently expressing to be.” That made you smile.

“I’m scared.” Spencer raised an eyebrow. And somehow that made you smile.

“We don’t need to tell anyone here. They’ll all know of course but no one’s going to fire us. And we can keep it in a way that there won’t be anything to tell if you don’t want that, but I uhm, I do. I’d rather keep the secret than not have anything to tell at all.” You smiled again.

“You’re sweet.” Spencer smiled back and encouraged by your words he reached out and brushed his fingertips over the back of your hand. You looked at your hand, the way he was touching you, so softly as though he was afraid to scare you away.

“You don’t have to.” Despite the fact that you had shared a bed dozens of times, you knew he wasn’t always comfortable with skin contact, especially on his hands and you could not let this memory be taunted by making him feel uncomfortable. You needed this to be good.

“What if I want to?” You turned your hand over and lightly spread your fingers apart. At first he ran his fingertips over the soft skin on your hands. They were tickling you, in the best possible and eventually, his fingers came to a rest between yours.

You squeezed his hand, only a little, and watched closely for his reaction but he looked fine, happy even. You took a deep breath and scooted a little closer to him.

“I can’t believe you never told me.” He said.

“Honestly, I can’t believe neither of us figured this out on our own. We analyze people for a living.” You answered and it made Spencer smile again. He too scooted a little closer to you.

He reached his arm over the back of your chair and lightly pulled you toward him. You let him, until you were resting against him. You felt his head rest on yours for a moment before he lifted it back up and placed a kiss on your hair.

“Is that okay?” He asked and you nodded.

“This is going to be okay, isn’t it?” Your voice was quiet but you knew he’d heard you because you could feel him not immediately.

“If I have any say in this, this’ll be better than okay.” That made you smile because you knew he meant it.

[wolveria]

The Raven’s Hymn - Ch 35

Pairing: SCP-049 x Reader

Series Warnings: Eventual smut, dubcon, slow burn, violence, horror, death, monsters, human experiments, dark with a happy ending

Chapter Summary: “I wish they would not take you for their grotesque experiments. Every time they take you from my side, I wish to do unspeakable harm to them.”

AO3

You didn’t know how you managed to make it through the rest of the night without nightmares, but you did, in no small part because of 049. Despite the hours of sleep, you were run down and didn’t speak much the next morning.

“How was your rest?” 049 asked after breakfast, a small affair of berries and some kind of orange pudding.

“Okay,” came your non-response. It was the best you could do, but the bags under your eyes would tell the more honest story.

If only you could have told 049 why you had nightmares. Hell, you would be happy to share the dream in which he’d been a main feature. It still didn’t make sense why the coin would have that sort of effect on you, and there was always the possibility the coin hadn’t done a damn thing. Having an explicit dream about 049, no matter how lucid, wasn’t something you could automatically blame on another SCP. Your mind was more than capable of providing those fantasies itself—and wouldn’t that just be your luck that you had that particular dream at the wrong time.

And yet, the strange déjà vu that followed when you reunited with 049, that hadn’t been imagined. If only you could tell him about the coin and the dream, you were curious what a mind like his could come up with.

Despite 049’s disbelieving look at your assertion, he didn’t push it. He had his own work to focus on; 049 had been given copies of the medical reports of those you had healed. You’d been surprised to learn that he’d been given them while you were gone, and you sensed Dr. Puli’s hand in this. Maybe a way to keep the SCP occupied, because you couldn’t honestly picture the Foundation taking his research seriously enough to ask for his medical opinion.

It was soothing to listen to the scratch of his pen against the pages of his journal. There must have been something anomalous about that book as well, no matter how much he wrote in it he never seemed to run out of paper.

As you washed your hands after eating, your gaze fell to the black bag sitting on the counter. Ancient leather cracked with time and heavy use, you wondered how old it truly was and how 049 had acquired it. Could he pull out anything he could imagine, or could he only remove things that he had put inside beforehand? The Foundation had only let him keep it because he hadn’t attempted to hurt anyone with its contents, but it was still so strange…

Warmth pressed against your back, and you froze.

“I apologize for startling you.” 049’s voice was low in your ear. “You seem so… worn. Is there anything I can do?”

You pulled in a shallow breath through uncooperative lungs.

“Uh, no. I don’t-don’t think so.”

A hard surface brushed against your cheek, the curved surface of his beak just out of the corner of your vision. He’d barely done anything, and your entire system had shut down.

“Is this alleviating your stress?” he asked, his tone lilted into genuine curiosity. “I had thought perhaps a more physical approach would be effective.”

You closed your eyes and inhaled slowly through your nose. What was 049 doing? Christ, he was so close. Your instincts were trapped between equal parts wanting to run and wanting to surrender.

“Effective at what?” you forced out.

“Helping you relax.”

He sounded so sincere, clearly having no idea. No goddamn idea at all what this was doing to you. He didn’t have you trapped against the counter, but it was close enough that your mind eagerly supplied images of 049 bending you over it.

“Should I stop?” Worry colored his words, and he put some distance between you. “I do not wish to discomfort you. It was a treatment I wished to try. Ever since you have returned, your scent has been different. As if quite distressed. I had hoped to… but you’ve been under the experimentation of others already, you do not need me to—”

“No, no,” you interrupted quickly. You’d never heard him ramble before. You turned to face him, giving your best reassuring smile. “Really, it’s… nice. I don’t mind at all.”

He seemed to perk up but didn’t immediately hover over you again, Instead, he indicated you should follow him with a tilt of his head, his gaze observant but warm.

“Perhaps then, we can be efficient in your treatment while also tackling our workload. Have you looked at these medical reports yet? They are fascinating.”

A little curious yourself, you followed him over to his section of the counter where he’d laid out the files, all with the names and details of the patients of the experiment, D-Class and Foundation personnel both.

“No, I haven’t looked yet,” you said, glancing over the reports closest to you. You weren’t sure what you would find, but the distraction was welcome.

Especially when, as soon as you stood at the counter, 049 took up the space behind you, pressing himself along your back as he reached past you to pull some of the files closer. It was like trying to focus on a puzzle while slightly drunk, your brain melting to mush as soon as his weight lightly leaned against you.

049 showed you file after file, all the results the same, each patient completely cured after your combined touch. You tried to listen, you really did. It felt rude not to pay attention to every word, but all of your focus was on trying to remain upright and not push back against him. It was its own kind of sweet torture, and you couldn’t say it was unpleasant.

“Doctor?”

Ah, it seemed he had caught on to your inattention.

You blew out a breath and let out a small, embarrassed noise.

“Perhaps I am more tired lately.”

049’s response was not immediate with words, but he did lean in further. Your hands instinctively braced against the counter even though he was barely putting any weight on you.

“It is quite understandable.”

His voice was directly in your ear, but what stood out to you most was how quiet he was. So quiet it was possible he wasn’t being picked up by the room microphones. You knew from your time on observation duty that there were two: one above the observation window, and a second attached to the camera in the inner chamber.

You slowly glanced over one shoulder, and sure enough, the width of 049’s shoulders blocked you from being seen by anyone in the observation room. Was he doing this intentionally?

“I wish they would not take you for their grotesque experiments,” he continued, his volume keeping at the low level. “Every time they take you from my side, I wish to do unspeakable harm to them.”

You closed your eyes, turning your head to face forward again, goosebumps traveling up your arms.

“I should not say such things,” he said, perhaps taking your stiff posture as fear. “It is unbecoming of a medical physician.”

“You can tell me whatever you want. I won’t judge you.” You winced. “I’ve already done so before, and I don’t wish to do it again.”

He was quiet for a moment, both of his hands resting on the counter just outside of yours, bracing you between his arms.

“We can rely on each other, can’t we?” you asked when the silence grew too much.

His answer came when his cheek rested against the side of your head, covered by the hood of his cloak but still warm.

“I believe we are the only ones who can. Or at least, my trust in you is greater than I have in anyone else. Do you… feel the same?”

It was such a fragile question, vulnerable and easily broken.

“I do,” you said, the answer coming easily.

He made a satisfied hum, the vibration pleasant at your back.

“Despite all that has transpired, I am fortunate to have met you. My existence would have been much more… empty. Hollow.”

Oh. You were grateful he couldn’t see your expression. It was most likely on fire.

“I… know what that’s like.”

“Indeed?”

You could have done without Leahy’s torture, the exhaustion, the goddamn existential horror of it all, but looking back at everything that had happened… you couldn’t say you would take it back. Not with how much you had changed. And erasing it would take away this odd but strangely beautiful relationship you’d developed with the SCP.

“I didn’t really have any friends. I had colleagues and coworkers, and I had my work, but looking back, it does seem very…”

“You were alone.”

You had been. God, you’d been alone for so long you couldn’t remember when you hadn’t been.

“Yes.”

The word came out quiet and somber, like a confession. You closed your eyes and nudged your head against his cheek. He adjusted his position, his jaw propped on top of your head now, and the shape of it was unexpectedly human. Perhaps you shouldn’t be surprised with how human-like his skeletal structure was, but little things like that still caught you off balance.

“I am familiar with the sensation. It is… was a close companion of mine. I suppose, over time, one could grow accustomed to it. But I would not wish to do so again now that I’ve experienced its absence.”

There was a haunted quality there. Not a fear of ghosts, but an acknowledgement that they roamed some places more than the living.

You moved a hand over his, already so close, and your fingers curled in between his gloved ones, your palm pressed against his knuckles.

He squeezed your fingers in return, but your small gesture wasn’t enough. At this angle, the observation crew shouldn’t be able to see more than 049’s back. Intentionally or not, it was a break from the constant surveillance, but more importantly, it was an opportunity for you to be honest and genuine.

You leaned back against him, purposefully nudging your head against his neck. You felt more like a cat trying to rub up against him, and you’d meant it to be comforting, affectionate, a confirmation that you understood his loneliness and didn’t want him to ever feel that again.

But his weight pressed against your back with purpose, his breath at your ear a shuddering exhale, and he nearly did trap you against the counter. There was a sudden lack of restraint in his movements, which made it clear everything he’d done up until now had been carefully controlled.

And then he froze. 049 quickly pulled away, freeing his hand from yours as he stepped away completely. Your back felt cold and horribly exposed to the prying eyes on the other side of the glass.

“I wish to show you my journal,” he said, standing next to you a safe distance away. “I have some ideas how this cure can possibly be replicated by formula. It would be a breakthrough to be able to administer such treatment without needing our presence at the time of delivery—”

He continued on with his scientifically inclined ideas, and it would have almost been normal if not for the way he avoided meeting your gaze and his words ran on without stopping.

You tried not to stare, or at least, not make it obvious to the ever-present viewers. 049 himself didn’t seem to notice your blatant observation, and that was good, because you were reeling and trying to put your feet on steady ground.

What the hell had just happened?

Next Chapter

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Do you love james potter? And why?

Ah, James, my boy.

As I said before, my original focus in this fandom was the marauders and my favourite character by far was James. He is a character that stepped into my life at the right time, there were a lot of personal reasons why he was very appealing to 15-year-old me, but I also think he is objectively an interesting character.

He has a very little (but important) role in the books he was created for and yet manages to have a fascinating character arc and a sincere complexity, something that characters far more present in the story than he is don't succeed at.

He is spoiled, arrogant, and a bit of a bully but he is also good at his core and brave and loyal to death. He surrounds himself with these messed-up people because he genuinely loves them even if he is so incredibly privileged from any point of view that he really has no reason to fill his life with all these problems of other people.

The dynamics he is part of also seem all so interesting: the ones with his friends, the one with Lily, and even the one with Snape. And all these other characters are interesting in their own right (even Lily who's characterisation suffers a bit due to the necessities brought by her role in Harry's story).

James offers a good opportunity to explore a story about someone who is not an underdog and is actually beloved and incredibly competent at what he does but still has this difficult emotional journey in front of him. It's a great challenge because you can't make him sympathetic through pity.

And despite James becoming better he still has his feud with Snape which I've always found a very honest creative choice. He becomes a better, objectively good person, not a saint.

I've also always been a bit in love with that piece Rowling wrote about James and Sirius. There's no easier way to make me fall for a character than making them a good mix of funny, arrogant and clever.

The Marauders to me are just as incredibly interesting as the romance of Harry's parents and with James being at the centre of it all with his imperfect good heart, how could I not love him?

[astarionancuntnin]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Thank you for the tag @nyx-knox!! <33

When did you start writing?

Like wayyyyyyyyy back, I technically wrote my first story when i was 11. I didn't write again until i was 15 (original pieces + fanfics), then i stopped and Im back at it again at 26 ayoooo

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

if i really need to search further into my favorite books, i would definitely say psychological horror and dramas

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't know writers enough to really get an idea of how to compare myself to any of them, but I do know that i tend to emulate what i'm exposed to, so if I read an entire series from an author, and they used a certain syntax, i'll tend to also do it by force of habit. (i also consider it a flaw cause i see it as hindering my writing creativity ;-;)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

its my personal pc that doubles as my work space, so its a bit all over the place ngl haha, theres a lot of astarion stickers and posters, all the furniture (keyboard, mouse, desk, etc) is pastel purple (my favorite colour), i have three screens (mostly for work but its also useful in day to day life) and my three wallpapers are astarion, of course. sometimes when i feel a writers block, i found out that writing on my laptop does unblock me! in that case, youll find me typing away on my couch in my living room uwu

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

MUSIC. What I write will be highly dependent on what I listen at the moment, like I was really into boywithuke when i wrote my angsty fics, and then i moved to a dark romance playlist and that got me going for die for you but then i was unable to continue my other fic cause i wasnt in an angsty mood anymore ._. (i swear i didnt abandon it, it just isnt the playlists turn to play on repeat) and rn im a lot into sleep token and ari abdul

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

So. Much. Smut. And angst. not surprising! my writing will also often depict my current state of mind. dw im in therapy, im working on it

What is your reason for writing?

It's my favorite creative output/the one im most experienced in! i wanna start drawing but i never find the time to really get into it and also terrified of failure which brings me to my second reason, its all i think i can do and i get dopanine reading nice comments teehee

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

when people tell me about a favourite part, when they liked the tension i managed to create, how i convey some characters, and most of all when i get told they loved a character i created!! this is so encouraging and pushes me to continue <3

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

i dont know how to answer to that .-. uh, i guess i want to be liked? seen as a good writer if anything? idk man ;-;

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Definitely descriptions, and creating a build up in a scene. I feel like it comes naturally to me and people have often told me that they are never lost when reading my scenes which reassures me so much LMAO I feel validated I also think I make really fun dialogue, especially banter with my ocs/tavs

How do you feel about your own writing?

i often self criticise my own work a lot, and i get that imposter syndrome where ill reread my work before posting and go "what the hell" in those moments, im grateful im not writing on paper cause that sheet would find its way to the trash real quick ^^ ' im sincerely truly blessed that my partner offers himself to read my pieces and beta read them, and tell me his honest opinion (there are things i wrote i wish i could forget and yall better be thankful he was there to stop me from posting first versions)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mix of both definitely. initially i wrote my own ideas and if people do end up liking them hell yeah!!! glad im able to find people that vibe the same way i do! then again, when i write for people, even if most of it comes from my silly little imagination, it was initially influenced by the request itself and is going to guide the writing specific to this piece, which honestly makes sense imo

Tagging 🏷️: @marlowethebard @roguishcat @anacdoce @charmandabear @marimosalad

[ladykailitha]

Star Child Part 10

We finally get the last two of the nuggets introduced in the story and some pretty heavy backstory for Steve. It ends in a weird place because I didn’t know how to end this chapter and the next part is fairly long. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

***

A couple of beefy looking guys were trying muscle their way through to get to the stage. One of the roadies stood up. He was wiry thin with dark hair and even darker eyes. The two men towered over him, but his expression was bland, almost bored as he crossed his arms in from on his chest.

“Oi!” he sneered. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“We’re security for the venue,” the one on the right said, flashing his badge.

“Did Juan send you?” the roadie asked.

The second man leaned forward to read the roadie’s shirt. “Well, Mike, there isn’t a Juan working here. You can’t fool us.”

Mike smirked and jerked his thumb behind him to a large Latino man with arms like barrels and a chest like a tank.

“That’s Juan,” he said as if he was talking to an infant. “And he’s the one that manages the security with the venue.”

The two guys looked at each other and gulped.

“Now get the fuck out of here,” Mike said with a wave of his hand, “Before I have Juan break your legs.”

The two men scrambled away, grabbing and tripping over each other as they booked it for the door.

“Mike, Mike!” Juan said, coming up to him with his cell phone. “Kitten manuls! Aren’t they so cute!”

Mike peered at the phone and cooed. “They are so fluffy.”  

Juan wandered off to show the other roadies the picture as Mike shook his head. He pulled out his phone and hunted down the picture Juan showed him. Then he sent it to his boyfriend.

-Holy crap! They’re even cuter as kittens!

Mike grinned and typed out his reply.

-Ikr? You find out if you got the job?

Mike chewed on his lip nervously as he watching the ellipsis appear and disappear a few times before he got a response.

-I did But there’s some trouble with the studio and it might end up being an indie album. And if that happens...

Mike swore and sat down hard on an amp. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times before he wrote back.  

-Then you won’t get paid to do the album art. Shit. I told you working with that asshole was a mistake.

-We’ve been over this. If I want people to see my regular work, I need a big job. And if that means doing the album cover art for Steve Harrington, babe. Then I’m going to do it.

-Wills...

Mike wanted to just call him, but he was supposed to be working and he didn’t want to get into any more trouble. It had been a couple of minutes before Will replied.

-I’ll call you after the show. Okay?

Mike sighed.

-Yeah. I can’t wait to hear all about it I mean it okay?

-Love you.

Mike looked around and then pressed his lips to his phone.

-Love you, too.

Fuck Henry Creel. Fuck his goons. And fuck Steve Harrington.

*

Steve was looking at the offers he had been holding on to for the last six months. Which was when he started looking for a new label. In hindsight that was probably what prompted his label to be nasty, if he was honest.

But he didn’t care. He had mouths to feed and techs to pay. He wasn’t going to let his current label continue to pigeonhole him. He was also meeting with his PR firm today to release a statement about his sexuality before his label could weaponize it against him.

They were going to draw up statements for if they got it out first, the label, or some news outlet.

Steve glanced at his watch and Robin should be arriving with the new PR rep any minute now. And as sure as if his thoughts summoned them, there was the sound of his doorbell. He jogged out to the front door and opened it.

He gave them his most sincere smile. “Hello there, ladies.”

Robin giggled and her companion merely gave a serene smile. He led them into his office and offered them drinks.

“I’ve got bottled water, Coke, lemon-aid...” he said. “What can I get you?”

“A bottled water for me,” Robin said with her goofy smile.

“And for me as well,” the PR rep said.

“Two bottled waters coming right up,” Steve replied with a grin. He was gone and back in flash with the two bottles. He handed each of the women a bottle and grabbed the offers from his desk.

“You wanted to look over the offers, yeah?” he asked Robin as he held out the folder to her.

She made grabby hands at it and clutched it to her chest. She loved going over contracts and looking for loopholes to exploit. She turned in her chair, until her legs were over one arm and greedily began to read them.

The rep looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. “Will she be okay?”

Steve waved it off. “Yeah, she’ll be fine. She’s more here for you anyway. I know I can come off as...”

“Intense,” Robin finished.

Steve snapped his fingers. “Yes! Exactly. You’re Jane Hopper, yes?”

She nodded. “It’s a small world, but I’m from Indiana as well.”

Steve grinned. “Fantastic. Nothing like having someone who understands that Indiana is sooo far from California, not only geographically, but culturally, too.”

She smiled back. “Yes, my bosses feel the same, which is why they sent me.”

“So what have you got for me?” he asked.

She started going over the different options for each scenario before he found an approach that he liked for all three.

“Fantastic,” Jane said. “Now, I’ve read the file from my bosses but I would like to hear it from you, if you don’t mind.”

Steve and Robin shared a glance and then Robin nodded.

Steve sighed. “Right, when I was seventeen my dad found out I was bisexual when he caught a boy half naked in my room the night of my farewell party.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing that didn’t go well?”

Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “Hell no. He threw the boy out and managed to suppress every video ever of the boy and me together.”

Jane pressed her lips together. “I see. Do you know if he has copies of these videos?”

Steve shrugged. “No idea, if I’m honest. But probably. You’ll want to know, the other boy is famous now, too.”

“Any of your former bandmates?” Jane asked.

Steve shook his head and wrote the name down on a piece of paper. He handed it to her. “You’ll probably want to get in contact with his PR firm to do damage control if it comes out.”

She read the paper and quietly slipped in it into her purse. “I believe he is one of ours.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. He doesn’t remember it. So it may come as a shock to him.”

“You should tell him first,” Jane said gently, but firmly. “I know it’s hard. And a very bad memory for you. But you need to get out ahead of this before the shit hits the fan and it will. Soon. Sooner then you think.”

Steve sighed. “I will.”

Jane nodded and then got up to shake his hand. “This will be absolute hell for you for the next few weeks, but we’ll do everything in our power to minimize whatever we can. Okay?”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “I worry he’ll hate me afterwards.”

Jane’s expression softened. “Then he was never worth it to begin with.” She turned to Robin.

“You’ll need to be his rock in this,” Jane warned her. “You cannot be the one freaking out. Do you understand? If you think you can’t be that person, find someone who can.”

Robin sputtered angrily.

“I’m not saying this be rude or to devalue your friendship,” Jane said sternly. “But what he’s about to go through will be actual, honest to God hell. Do. You. Understand?”

Robin nodded, scrambling to sit properly in there chair like a scolded child.

Jane looked between them and nodded back. She left them sitting there in shock.

*

They were in Denver the next night and Croup and Vandemar were back at again.

Mike rolled his eyes as he spotted them trying to get past one of the other roadies, a badass chick named Olivia. She was tiny but fierce. As he neared her he heard her telling them off.

“Get the fuck out of here,” she snarled at them. “Juan stayed in Santa Fe because his wife went into labor there.”

The two men looked at each other and winced dramatically. Mike sighed and Nancy said he was dramatic. He stepped up behind Olivia and folded his arms.

“Well if it isn’t the same jackasses that tried to get on stage last night...” Mike said with a grin. “Is your boss stupid or does he only have two minions to do his bidding?”

The two men looked at each other and just slowly turned away, trying to walk away all, nonchalant.

Olivia turned to Mike with a raised eyebrow. “They really tried a second time?”

Mike smirked. “Dumber than a box of rocks.” He shook his head and went back to work.

***

Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14 Part 15  Part 16

Tag List:

@bejeweledbaby @eboyawstenn @moonshadows-13 @ohlook-afrog @goodolefashionedloverboi @linkydinky06 @livelaughlexa @spectrum-spectre @cutepumpkin4 @whatthemeepever @gleek4twd @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @novelnovella @celtrose-ish @artiststarme @plasticcrotches  @failedstarsandgoldenclouds @anaibis @nelotegreitic @steddieassheg0es @abstractnaturaldisaster @scheodingers-muppet @tiny-enthusiast @yes-im-your-mom @thegingerrapunzel @milf-harrington @avacrebs @gregre369 @raisedbylibrarians @reverseteehee @lillys-weird-world @deadlydodos @runyousillydetective @justrandomfandomstm @piebook67 @clumsywriter @donttouchmycarrots @fiore-della-valle @idkareallyreallygoodname  @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @imfinereallyy @ravenpainter @ellietheasexylibrarian @maya-custodios-dionach @child-of-cthulhu @estrellami-1 @lillithhellfire @nerdsconquerall @space-invading-pigeon @localgaydisaster @bookbinderbitch

[weavingdelusions]

In a Week

Gale x GN!tav fanfic :)

Includes: Angst (they both die), Marriage, other companions (referenced)

imma be honest i wrote this instead of sleeping, so no beta read we die like Gale-

i never write fanfic so i am very sorry if it reads weird LMAO

oh yea and this is a Hozier lyrics omg i love hozier so much, Gale is so hozier coded :,v

Short Summary:

Gale uses the orb and Tav insists on dying with him-

that's literally it.

~~~

Gale tried to push Tav away, tried to save them from inevitable death.

Yet Tav insisted, insisted of not leaving Gale when the explosion happens, they wanted to be with Gale even in his final moments.

on one hand it flattered Gale, made his heart feel full and warm that Tav deeply cared.. cared so much they were ready to die with Gale.

"why.. Tav you have your whole life to enjoy, free of tadpoles and the absolute"

he questioned one night, possibly their last night together.. well, their last night together before they enter the land of the dead hand in hand.

They promised themselves to get married one day, when they are free of the Tadpoles and when the hectics were over.

Tav was so excited to meet Gales mother, to meet Tara and to walk the streets of Waterdeep proudly holding their lovers hand.

Gale suggested a beautiful pair of rings, describing it like he had put thought into it.

"it would be two golden rings, purple swirls would delicately decorate it and a glistening dark purple, almost wine red gem would be embedded into the ring. Our names engraved in each others ring"

Tav repeated those words to themselves almost every night, the image of a small wedding in nature, friends and family all enjoying each others company on a day of love and devotion.

"because I could never allow myself to love again, knowing my true love is blown to ashes"

Tav sighed, leaning their head on Gales shoulder as they both watched the campfire crackle quietly, as if it was trying to soothe them.

"I couldn't live with myself knowing you're gone."

Gale sighed.. there was no getting through to Tav and convincing them to live and in some way, it made Gale feel a little save.

~~~

They had let the moment rest, told no one around camp and tried enjoying their last days or weeks alive.

It was never anything fancy, visiting whatever was left of the shadowcursed lands and reading long into the night under a single oil lamp in Gales tent, cuddled in each others arms and each had a book in their hands.

Then it was time, the heart of the absolute infront of the team and everyone knew.

They all knew what was going to happen.

And without a word spoken, they all hugged, sighing deeply and everyone was holding back tears, even Lae'zel and Astarion couldn't hold the threshold anymore.

Gales hand moved precisely, magic swirling around the others and just like it was planned, everyone was send far away, further than waterdeep, further than faerun, further than any population.. in safety.

everyone, except Tav.

~~~

Tav walked over to Gale and despite the situation there was a soft, reassuring smile on their face.

"I thought we would have a few more days.."

Tav said in a solemn voice, taking Gales hands in theirs.

I've never known peace,

like the damp grass that yields to me

Gale tried so hard not to cry, but despite all efforts he had to blink away a tear or two, looking at his lovers face he felt like the world stopped. It had always been like that, Gale felt completely devoted to Tav, so in love he could simply watch Tav for hours.

"I know this may be a bad moment, but.."

Tav sighed, letting go of one of Gales hand to grab something from his pockets, a small sound of jewellery jiggling followed.

"Gale, my love. Even if death is one breath away, would you marry me?"

I've never known hunger,

like these insects that feast on me.

Tav's gaze and words were flooded with love and sincerity, in their hands, two golden rings.

two golden rings, a pinkish purple swirl decorated the rim and a wine red-ish purple gem sat on top.

Gale could only whisper a weak "yes" with a nod, he feared that if he spoke any more his voice would break and cause this beautiful moment to end early.

Tav smiled, tears welling up in their eyes and they slid the ring onto Gales finger, Gale imitating the gesture on Tav's hand gently.

A thousand teeth.

And yours among them, I know

our hungers appeased.

Our heartbeats becoming slow.

"we're Husbands now"

Gale chuckled through quiet sobs and intertwined their fingers, sharing a soft kiss before placing their foreheads together.

They knew it was time, they wouldn't have much longer.

Standing beside each other they looked ahead, hands still locked tightly together.

Soft "I love you"'s were exchanged, soft glances and caresses and a few little kisses before Tav sighed.

Brushing a hand through Gales hair and releasing the man-bun he wore, letting the others hair fall ever so softly, the deep brown and grey stands encapsulating Gales features so beautifully.

We lay here, for years or for hours.

Thrown here or found,

to freeze or to thaw.

If the moment wasn't so dire they would've laughed, mainly at how cheesy and lovey dovey they acted combined with the groups chuckle.

Which was missing, it was quiet except the ambient noises of the heart of the absolute.

They fell into each others arm and closed their eyes.. and it was over.

So long, we'd become the flowers.

Two corpses we were,

two corpses I saw.

It didn't hurt and for a split second that in the moment felt like a lifetime they remembered their time, their love and their friends.

remembered all the trials and errors, finding magical artefacts and helping whoever came across their path of their own saving.

When the weather gets got.

After the insects have made their claim.

Happy memories, Sad memories, Angry and every possible emotion they endured and worked through. it was all gone, all quiet.

They expected to be cold, but in their embrace all they felt in their last breath was love.

They didn't care if their bones survived, if their rings survived..

This was their last moment, loved, warm.. and content.

I'd be home with you.

I'd be home with you.

~~~

song:

In a Week - Hozier

[doll-elvis]

Oh, I would love to delve into discourse about the Stanley family. I'm not really a fan of them either, but I have empathy for their side of things. And from everything I gathered, I think both they and Elvis would've been better off not knowing each other, lol.

warning: talk of addiction, abuse of prescription medication, and use of illegal recreational drugs

thank you so much for sending this in and oh my gosh I completely agree with you: “I think both they and Elvis would’ve been better off not knowing each other” truer words have never been spoken !!!

to be honest I didn’t have much empathy for the Stanleys boys until I read this quote below for the first time ⬇️

LAMAR FIKE: “In defense of the Stanley boys, it’s well to remember that they didn’t ask to be there. And Elvis was stuck with having stepbrothers, so he made the best of it. I’m very partial toward David because I raised him from the time he was three years old. Or I feel like I did. Those boys have had it hard. What you have to remember is that they were corrupted by Elvis Presley. All of them were. Absolutely. No doubt about it”

excerpt from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

It by no means cancels out some of the things that they have said about Elvis, like David and his accusations about Elvis’ death, however it did make me realize that they truly had no choice in being stepbrothers to someone as famous as Elvis, they were quite literally the only people on Earth who could say they had that kind of relationship with him, and I imagine it was one that was difficult to manage

However… I hold absolutely no empathy for Dee 🤧

Dee has always been predatory in her actions imo, and I’m not surprised he never liked/trusted her. She first tried to hit on Elvis, who was of course not interested, and when that failed, she chose to go after his father, who was likely vulnerable and starved for female attention after Gladys' passing. Dee Stanley was still married while she and Vernon were dating in Germany, which was just a terrible situation to subject her three young sons too

LAMAR FIKE: “Vernon and I were having breakfast in the restaurant, and this blonde came up in a white coat. Vernon introduced himself and said Elvis had been called away. So she made her moves on Vernon. Boy, she stalked him like prize game”

MARTY LACKER: “Elvis didn’t like Dee from the start. He questioned her sincerity, you might say”

BILLY SMITH: “The “Dee thing” turned Elvis away from his daddy. Vernon had been seeing younger women, and it was too damn quick after Gladys’s death. Elvis resented the hell out of it”

excerpts from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

And then, years after Elvis’ passing, Dee came forward with a new book about Elvis (one of several that she wrote for $$) that made accusations such as Gladys and Elvis were in a inc*stual relationship. What is possibly more disgusting than the baseless accusation itself is that Dee only used persons who had already passed away to corroborate her claim like Vernon Presley, Minnie Mae Presley, and Alberta who worked for the Presleys and was very close with Gladys and Elvis

So not only did she disrespect the memory of Gladys and Elvis, but she used people who were no longer alive as her sources because she knew they weren’t here to say otherwise…Whew that woman was unbelievably nasty and the fact that even her own sons wanted nothing to do with that book speaks volumes ⬇️

And like you mentioned, I truly believe that both Elvis and the Stanley boys would have been better off if their relationship ended in the 60s. It is so sad to see what their relationship devolved too (being dependent on one another for drugs) and how all four of them became victim to addiction ⬇️

Billy smith: “Later on, Elvis kept them around for one reason and one reason only. And I hate to say this, but it’s true. To get drugs for him. Ricky and David were on the street. And Elvis, in essence, put them there”

Marty Lacker: “Towards the end the Stanley boys were there for three reasons: One, to procure drugs for him. Two, they would listen to him. And three, Elvis would preach to them and think he was teaching them stuff”

excerpts from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

It’s hard to accept but I don’t disagree with Lamar Fike saying that Elvis and his lifestyle more or less “corrupted” the Stanley boys. I can’t say that Elvis was fully to blame for everything they did but he was asking them to procure drugs, both prescription and illegal, and that in turn led to them having to take the fall for Elvis, even going as far as getting arrested in some cases ⬇️

excerpts from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

And since they were procuring drugs for Elvis, they often indulged in the same kinds that Elvis was using and because of their shared addiction, they became very dependent on one another as almost everyone else in the group was against using “street drugs” like cocaine ⬇️

JOE ESPOSITO: “For a brief time, Elvis even dabbled in illegal hard drugs. One day, I discovered that despite his professed concern for his stepbrother’s drug habit, Elvis had sent Ricky to Nashville to buy cocaine. “I want to see you,” I told Ricky when he returned. I hustled him into a private corner of Graceland, “Give me that bottle,” I said. “I can’t,” he whined, “Elvis will be mad”

excerpt from “Good Rockin’ Tonight” by Joe Esposito

excerpt from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

excerpt from “My brother Elvis” by David Stanley

excerpt from “Elvis: my brother” by Billy Stanley

Them being around each other was just a recipe for disaster in terms of their drug use, Elvis simply couldn’t keep up with them and his health suffered as a result. And so long as the Stanley boys worked for him, Elvis would have access to more prescriptions than what was actually prescribed to him, and I don’t believe that they would have ever told him no or tried to stop him as they suffered from addiction as well. So how could have Elvis gotten better when they were always there to get him what he wanted? Infact it was Ricky Stanley who gave Elvis his final pill packet the early morning of his passing

One of the biggest disasters Elvis’ dependency on them caused was the incident where Dave Hebler and Red West threatened to assault Ricky Stanley for supplying cocaine to Elvis. Dave and Red saw how Elvis was becoming more and more erratic because of it, and decided they had to go to the source to stop it

This incident ended up being one of the reasons that they got fired alongside Sonny West as they were trying to stop Elvis, who was in active addiction, from doing what he wanted which of course didn’t bode well ⬇️

MARTY LACKER: “When Ricky started bringing cocaine to Elvis in Vegas, the sparks started flying. He got it from some of the guys in the vocal group. I think they got it from some pusher in Nashville. And Red and Sonny found out about it, and they told Dave Hebler. Dave went to Ricky and said, “If you bring it to Elvis one more time, I’m going to break both your fuckin’ legs.” And Red went in and said the same thing to the guys in the vocal group. So what did Ricky do? He went back and told Elvis. The next day, Red tried to talk to Elvis about trying to get off pills. This was up in the suite. Red was sitting up at the bar. Elvis was at the bar, too, and somehow the conversation got on that. Red said, “Elvis, this stuff is really bad for you. I wish you’d stop doing it and go get cured. I can tell it’s really getting to you.” Elvis sat there, and he said, “Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re saying. But don’t worry about it.” He was real calm. Well, a few minutes later, Elvis went to bed. And “he said, “Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re saying. But don’t worry about it.” He was real calm. Well, a few minutes later, Elvis went to bed. And brooded about it all night long. When he got up the next afternoon, Elvis came out of that room screaming. He just went nuts. If I’m not mistaken, he pulled an AK–47 [automatic weapon] on Red and threatened to shoot him. Sonny was there, too, standing right next to him. Elvis screamed, “Goddamn, Red, mind your own fuckin’ business! Telling me how to run my life!”Everybody always says, “If you guys really cared about him, you could have done something about him.” These people have no idea what went on. They have no idea of how Elvis was”

excerpt from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

This quote from Marty is why I try to have sympathy for everybody in Elvis’ group, they were put into an impossible situation as they either had to watch their friend suffer or try to put it a stop to it, which often led to Elvis having an outburst and threatening to fire them. Essentially they were damned if they did, and damned if they didn’t ⬇️

JOE ESPOSITO: “Even the the Memphis Mafia occasionally tried to intercept drug shipments from various doctors. One night Red West accidentally broke a delivery boy’s toe, he threatened to break the kid’s entire body if he didn’t quit delivering to Elvis, but Elvis heard about it. He called me, Red, and Sonny into his bedroom, “I need it,” Elvis finally said with a piteous look. If anyone pushed to hard Elvis’ stock response was “If you don’t like it, there’s the door! Get the hell out of here! I don’t need you!”. He was manipulating us and we let him. “God, I’m going to straighten out my life but I need this right now,” he would intone fervently, his blue eyes wide and sincere, and we believed him”

excerpt from “Good Rockin Tonight” by Joe Esposito

Addiction takes no prisoners and I think it’s important to remember that those who suffer from it are victims themselves. My heart breaks for Elvis, for the Stanley boys, and everyone who loved them during this time, it’s an impossibly difficult situation to deal with

To finish this I want to include a quote that really shows how addiction can destroy a person, and make them become someone they aren’t. I think Dave Hebler, who was fired alongside Red and Sonny West, captures it perfectly ⬇️

excerpt from “The Elvis Experience” by Dave Hebler