#life changing medical needs
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Here we are… another medical road bump per se that demonstrates the need for this vehicle.
Addie is currently having difficulties with her central line ballooning and she needs to see a vascular specialist who is not at the hospital or in the ER.
Insurance denies the medical necessity for Addie to be able to get to the appointment by ambulance and so now we wait to see if her Medicaid will cover the transport which can take days.
Adeline cannot be transported by just any accessible transport vehicle because her medical complexity.
This line is what keeps Adeline alive… so, there once again is the most likely option to have to call 911 and get an ambulance to take her to the ER in hopes of getting a vascular consult who can fix the line instead of replacing it. Going to the ER is a risk in itself on Adeline’s fragile body.
While we wait to find a specialist, there is a risk of the line breaking which would mean an emergency situation, surgery, long hospital stay, and a high risk of infection which could be months in the hospital. Due to Adeline’s visceral nerve pain and complex regional pain syndrome, any surgical procedure sets her body on fire. A fire that cannot easily be extinguished. There are always complications in many of Adeline’s systems that does occur with every medical procedure.
With this van, we could transport Adeline to a vascular specialist before the emergency and risk to her life happens. This is why we need help.
Adelines medical expenses far exceed insurance and Medicaid. So many of her treatments and medications are not covered. Having this van will help Adeline to get to appointments with specialists before an emergency takes place.
We have two more days to purchase this vehicle for Adeline.
Please help by praying, sharing, and if you are able, donating. Thank you, we are forever grateful for your help in giving Adeline this life changing medical need!
Donate now at:
#together we can#come together#spoonie#tubie#eds#mcas#pots#go fund me#accessibility#repost#life changing medical needs for Addie#donate#reshare#life changing#help now#help today#life changing medical needs#go fund me friends of Addie#found family#advocacy#disability#fundraiser#crowdfunding#charity#muletown#AMS Vans#artists#patreon#besties#CCI
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yes house md as a show is outlandish and insane. house is literally a truman show of his own show. background characters are made out of cardboard, the walls are glass, he is just allowed to bully patients and his coworkers for funzies. but like there is also a deeply realistic element to house as a character. his actions are in line with his life, his backstory, and with his predicament. his chronic pain which lead to an opioid addiction, his childhood trauma, his trust issues that have definitely been shattered throughout his life leading to his cynicism, his refusal to seek mental support. of course the one constant and true trusting relationship in his life will also be codependent. this all makes sense. but this is also a show where house gets shot, gets recruited by the CIA for an episode, goes to jail multiple times. but it’s also a story about a deeply damaged man making the best of what he has and also learning to accept love? oh yeah and this is also a sherlock adaptation.
#i’m normal about house md#house md#this show is insane#this show will be the death of me#gregory house#need to do a character study on him#james wilson#to be loved is to be changed#how is this show real#and bbc sherlock did it worse#this show is from 2004#what the hell#hate crimes md#the medical malpractice universe#house md ended before gay marriage was legalized#house and wilson were life partners#hilson
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i may be stupid
#(but im not sure)#a doodley#i am not going to lie to you guys i am insanely scared of anti depressants. and adjacent medication.#first of all like ive said i dont think i need them#im doing way better than last yr(s) despite being in the same circumstances. i did in fact will my brain to get it together.#i told my doctor i think my issues are a result of my environment and that is what i think it is.#i dont think meds cld help change my innate personality flaws#second of all sorry but my ****** is all i have i cant risk losing it to the side effects#idk! like. idk. you guys really dont get it it really is just laziness for me#since i was a kid i just didnt have Goals and its continued to my detriment#i was also raised to doubt all my decisions so here we are#im sure my friends think im lazy bc what ive described to them IS laziness#im like the only person i know without hashtag goals and life motivation...and all my friends have mental health stuff too#so its not that...! its personality. its laziness#its literally like the ''my son is 35 and refuses to get a job and does nothing all day'' reddit posts#with ''he's not depressed he's lazy you should just kick him out and refuse to keep providing for him'' comments and all
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It's crazy to me that my doctors often criticize me for having "medical anxiety" but i never really had medical anxiety (to this extent at least) before I moved here and started seeing the doctors at this practice, where upon learning that I have a mental illness that has psychosis elements, would literally NEVER miss a chance to try to convince me that ALL my physical health issues are just a figment of my imagination, psychosis, or my apparent desire for attention ... (and like, not to mention they would oftentimes refuse to test or treat me unless i first "lost a bunch of weight"). My PCP once tried to convince me i must not be taking my mental health meds and that's why i "thought" i was having these health concerns... and like, belittling me to the point where I was told, point blank, to my face: "I'm not testing you for lyme Disease because it would be a waste of resources and you cannot possibly have it" (his exact words), despite my growing up and living in NEW ENGLAND, as well as one of the lyme disease capitols of the world, my dad being a deer hunter and having lyme disease himself, also having a bunch of symptoms that maybe could be other things too but were definitely in-line with lyme disease, but yeah, because I have a mental health disorder I must be just looking for attention 🙄 Now I avoid going to the doctor and when I do, I just downplay all my health concerns, even tho some are pretty serious and have a very negative impact on my day to day life.
Oh, the irony of being belittled by doctors for having "medical anxiety" when they were the ones who gave me medical anxiety in the first place lol
#funky's personal tag#delete later#sorry just venting lol#I need to go to dr to get some stuff checked out but i'm STRESSING#because I'm so used to these doctors literally trying to convince me i'm 'crazy' lol#anyway. I think it's high time i switch to another practice...#I just hate that whole process lol#also: All the medical practices in my local area talk to each other#so I'm scared nothing will really change even if I DO change practices -.-#anywayyyyyyy such is life#anyway. sorry for getting personal on the tolkien blog lol#just venting to the void
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when i look up 'heart burn relief', it means i already HAVE heart burn, I am not trying to prevent it, I am trying to RELIEVE it 😭😫❤️🩹
#heartburn#comic#these fuckass ads#i need RELIEF#not life solutions#i am currently in pain#i can work on my lifestyle stuff LATER#when i am OUT OF PAIN#this is not an ad#this is not a 'how to' guide for your own life#this is purely a comic based on a thing that happened to me personally#heartburn SUXS#i know what to do but i was looking to see if anything had changed#it has not#tums water and gasX for me since sometimes it is trapped gas#again#this is NOT medical advice#this is a personal anecdote#/rambling#hate it when i search for something and it's all ads#cant even find the next button
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I cannot stress enough that as an USAmerican you need foreign friends who barely speak English, because that's the only way for you to realize that half the discourse that happens online only matters to a very small percentage of human population, and all of those people are chronically online USAmericans
#not this isn't about actual real world issues like someone being honest to god racist and screaming slurs 24/7#i mean shit like thinking someone watching hazmat hotel makes them the worst person on planet earth#USAmericans on here will put watching the wrong show on the same level as committing actual honest to god hate crimes#like idk i'd rather talk to a genshin fan#than an USAmerican who doesn't even know I need to be medically sterilized in order to legally transition#you can't even change your name here without it being one legally preapproved by the state#and it has to be gender neutral#I had to pay for a fucking research paper to be done on my chosen name#to prove it can be gender neutral#and even then it wasn't 100% on if they would approve it#but sure whatever glad I have the world's most entitled USAmerican to tell me my irl friends who have saved my life#are actually the spawn of evil#because they watched a cartoons
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The problem when you're trying to check that your weight loss isn't excessive is that most of the results are either people discussing (fake) miracle diets or being like "of you drop more than 4.5kg/5% bodyweight in 6 months/a year it could be cancer"
And I'm sitting here like this is great but I have anxiety and this is not helpful -_-
#Matt has a life#Shit from home#Like okay I did change the way I ate a lot#both what type and how much (basically I slowed WAY DOWN on fast food and largely stopped overeating#which I did fairly regularly tho not purpose for several years after covid)#so I've been assuming this was the reason & bc it was going slow it was okay#but now I'm thinking I might need to talk to my gp about this -_-#abshqvshsh why are bodies WEIRD#ALSO WHY DOES EVERY MEDICAL RESEARCH ON THE INTERNET GO LIKE 'IT COULD BE NOTHING OR IT COULD BE CANCER'
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i know we’re shifting into springtime but climate anxiety has me genuinely unsettled and nervous abt the temperature not being freezing anymore 😭 like i let out a big sigh of relief when i saw the forecast predicting snow this weekend as if i was seeing a negative pregnancy test. this is all almost exclusively ronald reagan’s fault i will not expand upon that
#diary#my ocd loooooves obsessing over temperatures and weather forecasts 🤩 i spent the entire summer of 2020 and 2021 unable to turn a fan on#like i was so fucking terrified of my dinky walmart fan making heatwaves even worse bc of its electricity consumption that i basically made#myself sick for 4 months 2 years in a row and could barely sleep bc the nights were so sweaty#thank god for medication and the strength of spirit he has given me since then lmao#typing this out actually was therapeutic lmao it made me realize how ridiculous and unnecessary that was when i made it up in my head#to be such a huge life changing moral obligation. when in reality i probably took years off my life span w how miserable and exhausted i was#and theres no universe in which me turning a fan on during a heatwave solves climate change#whew. i need a real diary girl
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survived new employee orientation day 👍
#it honestly wasnt awful it was just soooo long and soooo much didnt apply to me#but anyways. what im treating as my real first day is tomorrow yayyyyy#im kinda surprised how not nervous for it i am if anything im pretty excited#the only thing im a bit apprehensive about is how anti social is my team gonna end up being 😭#the interviews i had with them did Not bode well on that front but we will see#0.txt#ngl the thing im most excited about is being part of such a huge university/medical network again without needing to be a student LOL#like idk. when i worked for companies it was very much you Work For the Company#but today honestly felt like being a student at an university again#now i just work for them lol#and theres a lot of shit going on that is completely unrelated to my job#maybe im being overly optimistic but the change feels really good right now#lets see if this will enable me to wrangle back a social life lads...
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when my roommates put things back in the kitchen incorrectly it makes me frustrated and angry. apparently, did you know, this is not a thing all or most humans experience ? some people don't have an intense emotional reaction to things not being stacked in the optimal way, or pans not being put back in their "usual" spot. did you know this. did you.
#personal#I'm having an online interview on autism tomorrow and so I'm researching and reflecting more#not like this is ground breaking or anything but just. it's interesting to me that this typically doesn't elicit an emotion for people.#I've been crying a lot over autism videos#I haven't had a chance to process my diagnosis yet really and there's still so much for me to learn and accept about autism#like feeling shame and guilt bcs of disability has been a huge problem for me lately. not being able to accomplish what I want to.#and seeing videos of other autistic ppl who were really attached to the idea of who they would become when they got older#or identified a lot with who they were while masking#and now have to let go of those things. and figure out who they actually are and are capable of doing without burnout.#whoof man. its a lot. i still haven't let go of who i thought id be when i grew up. to the extent that said struggle is part of my identity.#it's just. I am autistic. several medical professionals familiar with autism saw me and went 'yeah you are autistic'.#I spent so long learning how to better cope with my depression.#and it turns out some of that advice is opposite to what you need if its autistic burnout instead#which im gonna assume i just kinda had both going on at various times#i just. im not sure what to do with my life.#but i guess first i have to make my life more baseline liveable and enjoyable before i start pondering that#change is hard. basically. thats what this was about.
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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im at the part of the unemployment/health chores where i am continually (politely!) harassing four different entities. why isn’t my shit done. why did you lose it. hello are you alive
#why aren’t my medical records transferred over. why aren’t my taxes done#why isn’t my unemployment here yet. why aren’t my OTHER medical records transferred yet#i bought new health insurance through the marketplace 🙃 expensive. i want to throw up. and changing all THAT over has been a nightmare#and i see a new primary care on fri morning#and i will need no fewer than seven referrals#i am betting on a six to nine waiting list for all of them which is why i feel ok doing it now whilst unemployed#and i need to. NEED to go to the dentist for them to give me a list of everything that’s wrong so i can take it to the dental college#and hopefully get better prices. but god almighty#still no unemployment money btw 🙃 im covered for rent for next month but a credit card is going to be late and i think at least one thing#will be overdrafted#and i still have not had a single response from any job or a single interview#and my cats still hate each other#and my beans have some sort of mosaic virus#truly so so so many trials and tribulations#this past year (last March to this March) has been the scariest and worst financial time of my Life and it’s not even over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#not feeling very adult and self sufficient and on top of it!!!!!
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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To me ideal kidnap situation would Kevin and Neil (in a semi non violent aiming for the ramson scenario). Neil who has actual torture experience and does not shut up vs Kevin who is trying to get a good grade at being kidnapped. The kidnappers will be lucky if the police arrives before Andrew does.
i adore you people i truly do where else am i going to get an ask that starts so earnestly with “to me the ideal kidnap situation is…” SERIOUSLY. i feel like anyone who has motivation to kidnap kevin would probably not have it to kidnap neil just because the way i see it who kevin’s at risk of getting kidnapped by is stalkers or raven cultists (either fans or athletes themselves) who would ultimately not really care much for neil. BUT after neil’s dad kicks the bucket and neil tells the fbi everything he knows i do think neil would be put under an IMMENSE target for being a tattletale, and that would be a genuine concern of the moriyamas because his death would be an investment lost
to me the ideal (and funniest) situation is someone trying to kidnap neil and accidentally taking kevin along without recognizing him. can you imagine? you’re here for some fucked up kid of the butcher who put your entire livelihood as a criminal in danger and you happen to accidentally take a FAMOUS ATHLETE along. you were already wrong thinking no one would notice neil’s disappearance and now you have to deal with kevin day’s face blasted on the news everywhere because he went missing. like it’s seriously ridiculous. i think this kidnapper would probably just kill them and be done with it if i’m honest but since we’re having fun i will say that this person will dream of carcerary life if they ever encounter andrew minyard. kevin and neil get saved by moriyama agents eventually but kevin is never getting out of his house again
#i cant stress this enough being kidnapped has got to be one of kevins biggest fears#because its not just being Taken Away its being Locked Away its being stripped bare of any and all external help its having no one else to#lean on#do you get it.#yes kevin already has been human trafficked once but a second time would really mess him up#i sincerely believe any fics where kevin gets kidnapped need to be followed by 28293 therapy scenes because he’s never living that doen#like he would become so paranoid and so afraid and so genuinely obsessive about never allowing it to happen again#AND NO ONE WOULD HAVE A GOOD TIME HONESTLY#but would i read such a fic? yes. of course#i wanna see neil being like its okay andrew it was normal and no one got hurt Really bad :)#while kevin is like. in the medical sense of shock. making plans in his head to change his entire life#around having this never happening again if he can help it#i want to see kevin agoraphobic and terrified and deeply obsessive. For my funnies#asks#kevin#neil
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realistically all I'd need to be fixed for a while would be a €1500 monthly salary, a two hour make out sesh, and spending time with friends maybe with some weed, but alas even these simple things are apparently impossible
#-not qualified enough to get more than €1000 apparently#-nobody wants to kiss me :(( why I am cute#-too tired to do anything more than work and my daily errands (and even this is way too much for my body sometimes)#very funny to be a working poor disabled guy👍🏼#all my money is going towards medical + transition expenses + much needed therapy at this point#and just bc I'm lucky to live with my parents#which sucks btw as I'm hiding half of my life from them basically#alas. things will change sooner or later eventually#hopefully for the best#personal#vent //
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