#i am not going to lie to you guys i am insanely scared of anti depressants. and adjacent medication.

[skunkes]

i may be stupid

[realityhelixcreates]

Beta, Theta, and Me Chapter 9: Magic Carpet Ride

Chapters: 9/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Avengers (Movies) Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not right now),Drug Use

Characters:  Loki(Marvel) Additional Tags:  A/B/O, Sorta, More Of An Exploration Of  Life And Self Expression Within An A/B/O Framework, Loki Does What He  Wants, But Loki Does Not Actually Do What He Wants, Antagonistic Bosses,  Loki Has A Throne Now, But It’s Not What He Wanted

Summary:  Loki, paragon of self-sacrifice, must face down a cultural taboo.

Loki stared ruefully at the little bottle of pills on the table in front of him.

“You've got to be kidding me.” he said, “Your weak mortal medicine will have no affect on me.”

Tony Stark shrugged. “Works on Cap.”

“I am not your Captain Rogers. We are worlds apart.”

“The guy's a never ending science experiment. We had to develop insanely strong meds for him because, in the event that he actually managed to get hurt, our strongest stuff couldn't help him. But I have it on good authority that this'll do the trick. That authority being your brother. King of Asgard.”

Loki glared in scandalized disbelief. “You are telling me Thor actually took one of these?”

“Took some persuading, but yeah. After he came back down, he was pretty sure they'd work on you too, despite your differences.”

Loki's eyes flicked to you, then back to Stark, then to the bottle. “Hold your tongue. We don't need to discuss this any further. I will not poison myself at your command.”

“It's not poison!” Stark insisted. “It's a painkiller and anti-inflammatory. It will help you heal.”

“You cannot expect me to degrade myself for your convenience.”

“No, I expect you to lie for your convenience.” Stark shot back. “Though I don't see how hiding this from me,” he gestured at the chair, the neck brace, “actually helped you at all. You don't get anything out of it. Anyway, you really need to start cooperating if you want to stay. I'm trying to be lenient, but the more you complicate things, the more likely it is you'll be discovered. I think we all agree that would be bad.

As for you, if you want to come back downstairs and rejoin society, we've always got space for you” he said to you. “The baristas have been asking after you.”

“No!” Loki burst, “If I must befoul myself with your medicines to retain my lodgings, then I require her assistance to oversee things while I am...impaired.”

It had been an accident. Or rather, a lapse in personal judgment. You had left Loki after dressing him one morning, to fix breakfast, and Stark had shown up. And because he was your boss, and owned the building, you had just let him in. That's right, you had helped out the landlord. Your parents would be ashamed of you. You were ashamed.  

And the silent fury Loki had been radiating when he wheeled out into the seating area and Stark had gotten a look at him as he really was made you surprised that he wanted to keep you around at all.

Stark had given him an exasperated earful, and then left, coming back this morning with a bottle full of small pills. You couldn't even come close to pronouncing the complicated name on the label, but from what Stark was saying, they were the kind of thing that should never be taken by a normal person. Not if they had been made with Captain America in mind. Not if they were powerful enough to string out Thor.

You were surprised Loki was even pretending to go along with this, considering the cultural attitudes to chemical medicines in Asgard. Really, you fully expected him to order you to throw the pills away once Stark left.

When you brought him his tea, he sighed deeply, his expression a mask of utter melancholic resignation.

“Crush one of those accursed pills into a powder and add it to the tea.” he said woefully. “Stay by me as I suffer this indignity. Be forgiving of any upcoming transgressions, I implore you.”

“Hey, I'm sure it won't be that bad.” you said, grabbing a cooking spoon, and carefully breaking the pill down into a fine powder with the handle. “It won't stay in your system for very long. Your body will filter it out and flush it away, and you'll be clean again.”

You brushed the powder into his teacup, and stirred until it dissolved. Then you handed it over to Loki, who stared into the cup morosely.

“Won't it be good to not be in pain, even just for a little while?”

“I thought that many times, when I was in the clutches-” He stopped abruptly. “I've thought that many times. It is always denied to me somehow. There's always a catch.” He took a long sip of the tea, and sighed again. “And so I am tainted. At least the tea doesn't taste any different. You are getting better at that.”

“Here, have a muffin.” you offered him your freshest creation. “It says on the bottle that you're supposed to take it with food.”

He accepted the muffin with all the graveness of a prisoner at his last meal, but he thanked you graciously, and stopped you when you started to leave his side.

“I will be rendered a senseless fool by this foul poison. You must stay close, so that I do not do something utterly moronic, like throwing myself from the balcony on the assumption that I can fly. I might not actually survive in my situation, and I dislike long falls anyway.”

“You're scared of heights?” you asked, scarcely able to believe it.

“No,” he said haughtily, “I dislike long falls. It is different.”

“Why do they bother you?”

“That is personal.”

“I've seen your dick.” you pointed put.

“You would not be the first.” he said, matching you for vulgarity.

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Do you want more tea?”

Loki glanced into his empty teacup, bemused to see the bottom.

“Yes, I suppose I would.” he said, setting it down for you.

He had tried to teach you the fine art of pouring tea, and you had finally managed to do it without dribbling, but, as Loki put it, you also did it without grace. He didn't say anything this time, just tightened his lips in a sarcastic way, and took a sip.

At least you knew how to make tea to his specifications. It wasn't difficult, once you had figured it out. Just measurements and timing.

He had devoured his muffin, so you brought him another. Loki was extremely particular about flavors; not adventurous at all. Even banana nut offended his senses. But cream cheese met his approval in every application so far, even if he did complain about the texture of bagels.

“You'll have to get me an Asgardian cookbook, if this keeps up.” you said. “I might be able to whip you up something that reminds you of home.”

“I do not necessarily always want to be reminded of home.” Loki said. “And some of our dishes take many hours, even days to make. I need you for more than that. You cannot be in the kitchen at every moment.”

You would never admit it to anyone, but you got a surge of secret pleasure every time Loki said that he needed you. You'd always enjoyed hearing it from others, but it was so much better coming from a god.

Though it did make you wonder if the isolation up here was messing with your head a bit.

“Besides,” he continued, “enough cheese, bread, and meat will approximate the diet well enough. Asgardians have high metabolisms, and require many calories, and so do I. Our active lifestyles tend to make us big eaters as well, although I do not get my usual exercises these days.”

“If you would actually give yourself the time to relax and heal, you might be able to get back to that sooner.”

“Yap, yap, you nag like a bratty lapdog.” He scorned. Your eyebrows skyrocketed.

“Well gee,” you said with exaggerated shock, “if you don't want me here, just go ahead and say so. I'll go downstairs and be a barista.”

“No, you cannot leave me!” There was a distinct waver in his voice. “I will be polite. You won't leave me, will you? I didn't mean it.”

“Loki.” you said, suddenly feeling guilty. He sounded like a scolded little boy, on the verge of tears. “I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry about that. You should be more polite though.”

He reached out gracefully and took your hand.

“Dear lady...” he began, his words slightly slurred, and you finally realized that the medicine was taking effect.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, filling his tea again.

“Strange.” he said. “I feel light, but like there is a weight upon my eyes. Light, but like I cannot lift my limbs. One with this chair. Melting into the floor. I do not hurt...it's been so long...”

He really was starting to tear up.

You took his tea from his trembling hand and grabbed up a tissue.

“Here you go.” you said, dabbing his eyes gently. “Go ahead and enjoy it. Pain shouldn't be an everyday thing for you, if it doesn't have to be. You don't have to feel bad for enjoying a little bit of peace.”

“No, you don't understand. I don't deserve this. The pain was at least something familiar. I don't recognize this feeling. This lightness. It doesn't feel real.”

“Well, you are real, and I am real, and the medicine is real. The feeling is the medicine acting on your perceptions, so it's kinda real, it's just different than usual, that's all.” you patted his hand, and he grabbed for yours.

“Will this feeling go away?”

“Of course!” you laughed, “don't worry, this is just temporary. It will help your neck, and when you're healed, you won't have to take it anymore.”

“What if I can't stop?” he asked. “I am...not good at refraining from...indulgence.”

“If no one brings you anymore, what could you do about it?”

“If I am healed enough to remove this brace? To move about freely? What could I not do about it?”

“You know, that's a good point. I think we'll have to find you some of that ultra-powerful super weed the cops keep saying totally exists, but no one else seems to be able to find.”

He gave you a sideways stare. “More poisons?”

“It's to help free you from the other poison. But there are multiple strategies for getting clean, if that really becomes a problem. It's not like I've never seen addicts before; I'll help you if you need me.”

He reached for your hand again, and missed.

“Blessed thing.” he blabbered. “You are a draught of Alfar wine, brewed under the starlight. The fresh breeze through the forests of Vanaheim, just after sunrise. You are the faithful moon, pure as gold.”

“And you are high as balls.” you teased, bashful about the flowery praise. You really shouldn't be pledging any more of yourself, but the allure  of being needed-wanted even, was as addictive as any drug.

“You are the only once who may see.” he said. “I want no one else to see me like this. Stark especially. None save you may witness my dishonor.”

“Loki,” you mock-scolded, “if you keep looking at it like that, you'll impede your own progress. You'll fight it subconsciously, and just slow your healing down.”

“How, pray tell, should I look at it then?” he asked.

You took his hand, which was still waving around after yours.

“Look at it as permission. Permission to relax, to let the guard down and just exist for a while. You have everything you need right here, you can just be. It's okay to take some time to just be.”

“Just be what though? What is worth it for me to be?”

You shrugged. “A prince?”

“In exile.”

“A god?”

“Blasphemed rather than worshiped.”

“How about...my master?”

He squirmed a little in his chair.

“I could perhaps do that effectively.” he said quietly.

[365days365movies]

April 4, 2021: The Great Dictator (Review)

It's a 100%. Haven't given one of those in a while!

Here's the thing: this is a great film. Hang the comedy bit, even though it's also a very funny film! This is a great movie, no questions. I actually have no problems with it, and barely any actual commentary, gonna be honest. Fact of the matter is, it's essentially perfect in my book. Maybe it's not actually flawless...but I'm having a lot of trouble seeing any flaws. If you've got any, PLEASE tell me! I'm curious, really.

But OK, why am I even writing this, then? Because I want to close out this Golden Era of Comedy with a post about the end of its biggest star, Charlie Chaplin. Because from here...things are all downhill. And the seeds of that journey can be seen in this film. So, in other words, this post is a film history post. WELCOME TO SCHOOL

Yeah, sorry. If you like these history posts, I hope you like this one! And if not...yeah, that's entirely fair. Go ahead and skip this one! The next movie is Arsenic and Old Lace, so I'll save you the trouble of scrolling down! See you next time!

...

...OK, you still here? Cool, let's do this. Go ahead and "keep reading" for more on Chaplin after this film!

Review: Charlie Chaplin

Chaplin's walking on air, at least in terms of his film career! The Great Dictator will become his best-received film critically, and was a smash-hit in the United States. But that's pretty heavily contrasted with the reception of, well, Chaplin himself. Because unfortunately for him, Chaplin's ideologies would soon VIOLENTLY clash with that of his adopted country of the United States.

First things first, his love life was a mess, as was typical for the film star. His latest significant other was actress Joan Barry, and they separated bitterly (AKA, the only was Chaplin separates from anybody), after having a child together. This relationship would begin the downfall of Chaplin's image, starting in 1942. And that would be due to one of the most irritating, shitty dudes in the history of the FBI: J. Edgar Hoover.

Hoover HATED Chaplin, mostly because he was suspicious of him, as he was with EVERYBODY. Fuck Hoover, by the way, dude was a monster. He was also an INSANE patriot, bordering on straight up nationalism. But his hatred of Chaplin revolved around the fact that Chaplin's views were...controversial. I mean, Modern Times was an anti-industrialist film, and that's what the USA was ALL ABOUT at the time. And then, there's...one more thing. I'll get there.

Hoover launched a smear campaign against Charlie, and the Barry case was saddled with an additional allegation: violation of the Mann Act, which stated that it was illegal to transport women across state lines for sexual reasons. It was an attempt to stifle prostitution, and part of a massive moral panic of the time period. It was a bullshit charge, and Chaplin escaped it in trial. But damage had been done to his reputation, and Charlie was about to make it worse.

Shortly after, in 1943, Chaplin would meet his last wife, Oona O'Neill. She was 18, he was 54. Fuckin' OOF, dude. And in 19 years, the two would have EIGHT CHILDREN JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CHAPLIN!!!

Anyway, other than this positive development, the Barry trial had beaten the shit out of him, will-wise. But he began developing a new ambitious film project in 1946, which was called Monsieur Verdoux. This was a black comedy about a bank clerk/serial killer that killed women for money. Which is obviously pretty controversial in a moral panic-stricken America, but that was made worse by Chaplin more overtly expressing his political views...which were violently anti-capitalism! In post-World War II America!

Uh-oh.

In 1947, with the release of Monsieur Verdoux, the film was legit booed at the premiere in the USA. Fuck. Tensions finally came to a head, and Chaplin was "outed" as a filthy, filthy commie! And I put "outed" in quotes because, well...he wasn't. Sure, Chaplin was against capitalism and military nationalism, as well as sympathizing with communist ideals in some cases. He was also friends with suspected communists, and with Soviet diplomats. And that shit's barely OK NOW amongst a pretty big proportion of people in the country. In 1947? WAY FUCKIN' WORSE.

Chaplin was "dangerous and amoral" according to the FBI, and he probably believed in equal rights for minorities too, the FILTHY FUCKIN' COMMIE!!! But, yeah, he was targeted by Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee, and was nearly listed as one of the Hollywood Ten, a group of filmmakers blacklisted from Hollywood for alleged communist activities. Chaplin escaped that, but was still a major target for the Red Scare.

Chaplin, not giving a fuck as always, now decided upon a new project. Limelight was a semi-autobiographical film, in which he played an aging former vaudeville actor who had lost his popularity and fame, and falls in love with a younger woman. On the nose as always, Chaplin. Also, that's Buster Keaton in the GIF up there! Only time the two ever appeared on screen. Neat, huh?

Chaplin went home to the UK for the film's well-publicized premiere in 1952. And that's when the US Attorney General STRUCK, revoking Chaplin's VISA, and trapping him overseas permanently. Chaplin was banned from the United States, through really shitty underhanded tactics. Fuck, man. Worst part is, it's since been proven that there was no good justification for the VISA to be revoked. But the damage was done, and Chaplin willingly cut his ties with the United States, having been spurned by his adopted country for years.

Loved in Europe and hated in America, Charlie continued making films, with his next film being another semi-autobiographical parody called A King in New York. He also came out not as a communist, but as a straight-up anarchist! He hated government altogether at this point, and it's hard to blame the guy. He really did get screwed. But, ironically, his love life was now quite stable, and his marriage with Oona was happy, by all accounts.

His films were banned in the United States, and Chaplin banned them right back, not releasing his films there, and preventing American journalists from attending its premiere. But even ten years later, Chaplin's filmography began to re-emerge for movie audiences, and his popularity began to rebound. The man was just that good, what can I say? Chaplin made a romantic comedy in 1967, called A Countess from Hong Kong, and starring Marlon Brando of all people! It was his first color film, and...it did NOT go well with audiences, ANYWHERE. It just wasn't well-received, and that film would be Chaplin's last.

In 1967, Chaplin had his first stroke of many. He continued his marriage with Oona, and even continued making another film called The Freak, an ambitious project from what's known about it. Basically, it was about a South American girl with wings, which is interesting. In 1972, after 20 years away, Chaplin was welcomed back to the United States with open arms, and was given an Honorary Academy Award for his insane contribution to the medium since the Golden Age of Hollywood. He was given a 12-minute standing ovation, the longest ever given at an Academy Award ceremony.

Still planning on making his film, he returned home. But the film went on a permanent hiatus by 1977, by which time his health had badly declined. On Christmas Day, 1977, Chaplin was found dead, having suffered a stroke in his sleep. He was 88 years of age, and was buried two days later in Switzerland. And THEN...he was dug up.

Yeah, DUDE'S GRAVE WAS FUCKIN' ROBBED! A couple of guys held Chaplin's corpse for ransom, which didn't work out for them, and he was reburied a few days later, this time in a reinforced concrete vault, where his remains remain to this day.

Charles Spencer Chaplin is one of the greatest actors and filmmakers of his time, and didn't deserve the guff he got from the government. The guff he got from his wives...eh, that he probably did deserve, not gonna lie. Dude wasn't the best husband, or the best dad to at least three of his kids. But in an ongoing effort to separate the art from the artist, Chaplin needs to be appreciated for the mountain of talent that he was, and his films will make him immortal in the annals of film history. Long live the Tramp.

But with him and his influence, the film industry had a place to evolve from, especially in terms of comedy. After The Great Dictator, some comedies felt the freedom to take a bit of a darker tone. And from here on out, we're splitting the timeline by genre, tracking comedy films by the evolution of their respective genres. And we start in 1944, with a film about...MYURDERRRR!!! And sweet old ladies!

April 5, 2021: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), dir. Frank Capra

[arcticdementor]

Yesterday, on the Denver Post (I think! It’s a Colorado Newspaper anyway) site I came across a headline that’s so wrong that wrong would be an improvement.

“US tops 500000 Covid-19 cases. Europe looks on in horror.” [For those correcting the “typo” via various means: I think they meant NEW cases.  The article was muddled, but that was the feeling I got. The headline was JUST that.]

Do I need to break it down?

Half a million cases means, of course, a half million tests positive right now. Which means we have almost 0.2% of people positive for a respiratory virus.

…

Let’s then drill down into cases. What the hell are cases, actually? I bet you most people reading that headline think cases are deaths, or at the very minimum hospitalizations.

I want to point out right now even if we had a half million residents in hospitals right now, all it would mean was that the hospitals would not be laying off medical personnel, and perhaps it would cut down on the tik tok dance time for some nurses, but still no, let’s be clear cases aren’t hospitalizations.

And cases aren’t deaths — I have run into people who thought this too — and sure, if we topped half a million deaths it would be bad. Very bad. It would be about five times the mortality of a normal “bad flu year.”

Which when all is said and done would still leave us rather far of “condition zombie apocalypse.”

Why precisely Europe would be looking on in horror at that kind of numbers is something else. But of course, it depends on who in Europe they asked, which countries in Europe, and actually what the hell they mean by Europe or how Europe even heard about our “cases.”

Let me start by saying I have family in Europe. Despite their marked tendency to call me when there are fires in California, because this is “near” Colorado and therefore I must be at risk, I have yet to get a panicked phone call asking me if my sons — even my son who is a medical professional — are okay, or if I — who am notoriously hampered in the lung department and also have a tendency to catch everything that comes through town or even waves from the next town — am being careful, take all precautions, etc.

In fact, while my father in law asks us in every call if health professional son is okay and is taking all precautions, my family in Europe is more worried about whether we all have jobs, because of what this insanity is doing to the US economy. If they mention the dread plague from China, it usually starts with “I don’t understand why the US seems to be so scared. This is what is scaring our own government/s, that they think the US knows something special.”

Uh uh. To an extent, they are in fact looking on in horror, and wondering if we should have put anti-psychotics in the water a while back. In fact, their tone reminds me exactly of the tone I heard around me in 1968 (about the earliest I remember hearing the US mentioned) and it has this undertone of “Whatever the hell is going on in America, can you guys fix it already?” To the extent they are worried about the bug in their own countries, it is because they have this, totally unwarranted, belief that the Americans are possessors and learners of secret knowledge, and that if we are going ape shit, there must be something they aren’t seeing.

…

Who in hell is horrified? Poles? Swedes? Spaniards? Europe, despite the EU is — for purposes of culture and communication — not a version of the US with the countries instead of states. Europe, fragmented into languages and dialects and broken into very, very different cultures (yes, the US has very different cultures per state and region, too, but not that different. For those differences you need to marinade in insularity for a few centuries) is a fragmentation of peoples most of whom until the EU would need a passport (for the cat) to swing a cat, and would need a translator to tell their neighbor to duck while the cat is swung.

If Europe is horrified at our number of cases, exactly why are they so?

Is it because they have no idea that our population is somewhere between 300 million and 350 million? Or is it because their governments lie to them and tell them they’re doing much better? Or is it because their entire information about our country comes via CNN who makes up shit to make it seem like we’re all dropping dead in the streets and then is spun by THEIR individual press, in their individual countries who firmly believe the government in the US has some control over the press, and therefore what they hear via CNN is dressed up to “best case scenario?”

Yeah, I imagine Europe (Whoever the hell is meant by that) looks on in horror at the US. But they also look down in horror at our crime situation, which they believe to be something out of Fast and Furious, our gun ownership (speaking of fast and furious) because — I swear I’m not making this up — they believe we all fight duels in the streets all the time, and our health (in general, not just winnie the flu) situation, because they believe that our hospitals refuse to treat the uninsured, and therefore we’re all piling up dead at the door to the hospitals. (Which of course means they’re horrified. As many decades as they think we’ve been shooting/murdering/refusing care to each other, not to mention the fact that they take those idiotic “hunger” surveys from the Obama years (remember, when they asked if you ate everything you wanted to that day and took a no to mean you were suffering from hunger. (To be fair, most of us are dieting, so that too is not even wrong.)) and assume we’ve been starting for decades. I mean, at this point they probably think the last half million Americans just fell down dead.)

And given the silliness of that picture above, and the bizarre ideas of the trolls who regularly come here to school us about what is “really” going on in America, bring up the most interesting question of all: Who the f*ck actually cares if Europe is “horrified”? They neither pay our taxes nor are in any state to make war on us. They have nothing we want, and know nothing about us and why PRECISELY should we give a d*mn if they’re horrified, elated, jumping for joy, or picking their nose?

Of course, this plays on the insecurities of the pseudo intellectuals with journalism degrees, who have been taught that Marxist Europe is the be all and end all, the pattern card of perfection of which we will forever fall short. They’re afraid that some random European will tell them how backward America is.

I have a solution: leave. Go to Europe. Leave there. Only before you go give up your citizenship, because when you try to come back — and you will. It will in fact take tops 5 years — I want to be able to make sure you’ve learned better.

But this is the kind of nonsensical headline people are being scared with. The ridiculousness is at a point some survey found that Americans thought “10%” of Americans had died of Covid-19.

…

So– what in actual hell? Why do people believe that ten percent of the population have died?

Well, it’s the news. In the few times I had to read a local paper for some reason, or was trapped in front of streaming news, or got input from the MSM in some way, they always fudge “cases” with “cases actually needing treatment” — the second is a fraction of the first — and “deaths” which is a much, much smaller fraction, and even that inflated by the fact that they are counting people dead while positive for covid, instead of people who died of COVID-19.

And always, always, our media sneeringly implies that other countries did much better/are doing much better. Even if they were — they’re not — when is the last time they told us we were so much harder-hit by the flu or the common cold than oh, Spain, and therefore Spain is better? Never?

But no, they’re not. In fact if you take away the cases in places that are hives of humanity, like NYC or Chicago (where being ventilated with a shot through the chest causes COVID-19) our cases are right in the middle of the pack for north European and Scandinavian cultures, whether they locked up or not. Which makes perfect sense, of course, because what actually matters is not the measures but the culture. And in the US, the chances of you coming cheek to jowl with humanity is zero or close to it.

Which, btw, bring us to “But Korea” well, yes, Korea — and other Asian countries — had to do a lot more control and be a lot more proactive because they live in density and proximity and social conviviality that would in fact make most Americans start singing “don’t stand so close to me.”

Look, guys, if this virus hasn’t actually utterly depopulated North Korea? No big.

[theliterateape]

Fear of a Sanders Candidacy

By Peter Kremidas

Look, it breaks my heart to say this, but I don’t think Bernie is the one. Not this time.

Believe me, I’m a Sanders supporter to such an extent that I’m a stereotype. I’ve liked him from the time I saw him so vocally support Occupy Wall Street in what now is back in the day. I voted for him in 2016. I am totally that guy who argued with Hillary supporters online about him (Yes, I voted for her in the general, and proudly. A topic for another day). I think that Bernie was the preferable candidate, hell, I think he even could have won in 2016 on the same anti-establishment sentiment wave Trump clumsily surfed into office on. He’s consistent. He’s honest. He scares the bad guys. I believe his model for political revolution is our only chance to turn things around. He has been consistently been proven correct time and time again for years. His last debate performance was fantastic and I would love to see him debate Trump. I really could go on and on about all the things I like about Bernie Sanders. In fact, the reasons I don’t think he’s our guy have absolutely nothing to do with anything wrong with him, nor to do with anything he has done wrong.

I just think that, in 2020, it’s too big a risk. And here’s why…

What’s different now than in 2016, huh? HUH!?

Trump is running with the incumbency, the full backing of the RNC, a billion dollar war chest, and, unless Mitch McConnell decides otherwise, a currently non-functioning Federal Election Committee, which means that there will be cheating. Whoever the candidate is needs to overwhelm all this, and I think the extra baggage Bernie carries, some that did not exist in 2016, just exacerbates this. What baggage, huh? HUH!?

A lot of democrats hate him, the media hates him, and republicans believe that he is literally Joseph Stalin.

HUH!?

Bernie Sanders, despite being a great candidate with the right answers, despite the debt that I believe America owes to him for making policies like Medicare for all into the mainstream, has an uphill battle that other candidates simply don’t have. And it’s not his fault. And it’s not fair.

Democrats

Democrats are not Bernie Sander’s friend. And I don’t just mean the establishment. We all know there is some suspicion or resentment for Sanders from the democratic donor class. He is not the guy rubbing shoulders five thousand-dollars-a-plate dinners making friends with the right people and playing the game. That’s one of the things that’s so great about Bernie. But I am also talking about many, many democratic voters.

There are a lot of Hillary supporters from 2016 who just are not over it, and aren’t going to get over it. They hate Bernie Sanders and you aren’t going to convince them otherwise. Not all Hillary supporters, but a sizable portion. I have met many a democrat who believe Sanders is an ego maniac. Many believe he is sexist and actually blame him for Trump’s victory. All nonsense from the resentful who apparently forgot what a perfectly normal primary looks like, to be sure, but you aren’t going to convince them otherwise.

It’s probably the least significant confluence of things working against Bernie Sanders, but it matters. It steepens the slope to his victory, even if slightly. I believe the amount of resentment that exists from democrats is enough to cost him favors and votes (believe me, the number of Never Bernie democrats, both from resentment and the belief that he is too far left, is not insignificant) in what is sure to be an extremely close election.

To be honest, I’m much more worried about…

The media

The media hate Bernie Sanders. And of course they do, we’re talking about a guy who’s an existential threat to the system that props up the owners of mass media conglomerates. A quick Google search will show you the amount of false narratives and hit pieces pedaled by all major national newspapers (most notably The Washington Post) and all three major news channels.

Before you say “The media hates Trump,” hold on. They certainly report true stories about Trump that prove to us on a weekly basis that he is, against all odds, an even bigger asshole than we thought last week. But Donald Trump has been a business boon for mass media. People either love him or hate him, and both have a hard time looking away. They gave Trump a huge amount of free press in 2016, and there is no reason to believe that they will change in 2020. After all, they have not stopped since.

I’m not saying that the reporting on Trump has not been newsworthy. It is. My point is only that the business of media has a financial incentive to keep Trump around, and Bernie Sanders presents a potential loss of profits both due to policy and because he is not a lightning rod for controversy (and sweet, sweet ratings) the way having an insane narcissistic man baby as president is.

Based on what incentivizes media, and how they already treat him, I think the media contributes to a steeper climb to the White House than other candidates face.

It’s not fair. It’s not Bernie’s fault. But it’s real. We can’t trust the news to give Bernie a fair shake.

Our best case scenario we can hope for is that they talk about Trump and Sanders as if they are equally extreme, and that is also a sucky lie.

Republicans

This is why the ‘S’ word matters. The fact that Bernie calls himself a democratic socialist (despite that he has the policies of an FDR–style social democrat) is going to scare the shit out of old people and the republican base. No they will not make a distinction between socialist and democratic socialist. They are going to believe that the time has come, the jig is up, and communism has come to our shores. They are going to believe that this is a battle to save America from the gulags and paltry rations of bread.

I highly doubt that right wing media will anything to disabuse their base of these notions.

Yes, they are going to call the democratic candidate a socialist no matter what. But it’s one thing when republicans are saying it, it’s quite another when their opposing candidate is saying it too.

No it doesn’t matter what the actual type of socialist he is, we are talking about people who credibly believed, and probably still do, that Barack Obama was not born in The United States.

For all the typical non-voters you will get out the door excited by Sanders (mainly the youth vote), you are going to get the same amount, if not more, right leaning non-voters who are going to believe what they are told and fight to prevent the communist takeover of The United States.

The right wing base is already terrified, terrify them more and you get a huge turnout. And there are millions of these people, and they live in swing states.

The suburbs, and elsewhere

He’s a hard sell to many swing voters, especially the suburbs, where they can’t wait to vote against Trump but Sanders is too extreme for them. The media will back up this narrative. This means either stay home and vote for neither, or a vote for Trump.

It does not matter that his policies are reasonable and that he is not nearly as far left as the right in this country is far right. People do not tend to vote based on issues, they mostly vote based on feelings. Many many people are just going to feel that Sanders is a trade from one extreme to another, and absent an economic meltdown it’s going to be hard to move them to the change vote.

Yes, I realize he polls ahead of Trump in many places right now. That’s over a year out and absent any of the things I’ve discussed here being present in the context of a high stakes national election dominating everything you see, everywhere, all the time.

Conclusion

Look, I’m not happy about this. And hopefully I’m wrong. I know that Sanders also has crossover appeal, and there is an argument to be made that his portrayal in the media could feasibly work for him by way of cementing his status as anti-establishment. But I think there’s just too much at stake here, and he’s just got more extra stuff to deal with that other candidates simply don’t. And it’s not his fault.

It’s not Bernie. It’s the flawed world. I predicted Trump’s victory based on, among other things, my commitment to never underestimate how dumb the American voter can be as an aggregate. The fact that Trump’s approvals remain around 40% tells me that it isn’t time to abandon this assumption about the electorate any time soon.

I love you, Mr. Sanders. But I don’t trust all these other folks over here.

So it’s gotta be someone else this time.

Sorry.

[fiftyshadesofsleigh]

All Things Valentine (2016)

WARNING - More of a rant than a review

Starring: Sarah Rafferty (Suits) as Newspaper Columnist Avery and Sam Page (Joan’s horrible husband on Mad Men) as Brendan.

Street Cred: 6/10. Page has a ton of these under his belt and Rafferty was on the Tremors TV Series so she gets free credit from me.

Official Synopsis: A blogger who has had terrible luck on Valentine's days meets a handsome veterinarian. Then she finds out he is the one who has been leaving rude comments on her Valentines day articles and she questions if her luck has changed at all.

What Really Happens: This one is more of a rant than a review and I have seven pages of notes for this movie, so please bear with me.

Avery isn’t a blogger, she writes an advice column (Coach’s Corner) for the major newspaper in town and can somehow afford to feed herself. The movie starts with Avery in full Valentine’s Day mode, practically skipping down the road with balloons in tow, on the way to surprise her beau. But the joke’s on her because she sees him kissing another woman and then has to run/speed walk away without him noticing.

It’s not a big surprise then, when we learn that Avery is anti-romance and anti-Valentines when the next year rolls around. I mean, she wears a black coat now instead of a red one so it’s clear she’s dead inside. Which is why she encourages one of her readers to dump her boyfriend when the reader feels he doesn’t respect her expectations for Valentine’s Day. The reader in question turns out to be McKenna, the co-owner of a bakery/cafe, who is dating one of the veterinarians from the clinic across the street, Brendan. I promise his is important later on.

Brendan isn’t as heartless as McKenna thinks he is, he’s just not willing to lie to her with some big romantic gesture when he’s not sure how he feels about her. Sounds reasonable, right? Not to McKenna. The part is played by Kimberley Sustad, who I love, and it annoys the crap out of me how pathetic her character is. And why is she always the sidekick? She’s awesome and has proven she can carry a movie (Nine Lives of Christmas with Brandon Routh).

Anyway, back to Avery. Her editor gifts her with “an opportunity” to write a special series for Valentine’s Day called, you guessed it, All Things Valentine! A new story of cliched ideas every week in the lead up to the big day for a campaign that is never explained. Avery protests because who wants to get paid for writing(?) and proceeds to unpack her long history of bad Valentines. Her editor pats her on the head, tells her that’s charming, and ignores all other protests. Avery then enlists her family to come up with ideas to write about because her heart is a shrivelled husk.

Just want to mention that even Avery’s 5-year-old nephew has a romantic interest in this movie. That’s what they resorted to to sell this story.

Back to Brendan (recently dumped by McKenna for reasons he finds insane) and his plan to makes sure ‘Coach’ knows of his ire by trolling them on the internet. Because that’s what nice guys do and Brendan is a NICE GUY. After his initial tirade he gets to harass Avery again when she writes her first article about VD. Yes, that’s the acronym I’m going with. Meanwhile, Brendan’s BFF and partner is Kit, who has quietly and nervously fallen for McKenna’s work partner, Pru. Again, this is sort of important because I will complain about it later.

Now, McKenna can’t help but ask Kit about Brendan every time he comes in to sigh wistfully in Pru’s direction, and she tells him she “has a plan” for her life. Married by 30, three kids, and a career. First, three kids is too many. I think this every time we take one of our kid’s friends with us somewhere. You will not change my mind on this. Second, ugh.

But there’s good news! Avery’s editor LOVES that she’s being trolled by this assface! So much so that she wants it continue because readership is up and who the fuck cares about writers being harassed online? Everyone but Avery thinks this turn of events is awesome.

I will skip forward here because this movie is way too long to after Avery has met Brendan in person (over her sick pupper), they’ve bonded and sort-of-kind-of started dating/created the anti-Valentine’s Club. The movie gets points for the whole “They don’t know it’s them!” trope, but they lose 1000 for the absolutely horrific things Avery’s father says to her under the guise of advice. They are as follows:

Real men don’t save Valentine’s (he uses this as an excuse for not telling anyone he does, in fact, save the cards he’s been given)

Not all Guys (Yes, seriously)

You can’t write off a whole gender (I was muttering at my tv by now because these are all part of the same conversation)

He also completely dismisses the hurt Avery has experienced in her life because women are supposed to love VD and why can’t she just forget all that other stuff and be like other women?

Avery and Brendan end up going on a lot of research “dates” for her articles, which he never asks about, and bonding over their shared whatever. Seriously though, if she thinks we should dump someone over not celebrating Hallmark holidays in the same way, why is it okay he NEVER ASKS HER WHAT SHE WRITES?

As ‘Coach’ Avery inexplicably answers the trolling of her articles by responding with personal information, despite how much she supposedly values her anonymity. This is to move the plot along and have her online persona change her troll’s mind about...her? VD? Love? I don’t even know anymore, but it works and Brendan starts to feel guilty about being an ass to ‘Coach’ because Avery is changing his mind about all the things he thought he didn’t want. Or something.

Despite their shared dislike of VD the two of them decide to go out to dinner on the BIG DAY, prompting ‘Coach’ to admit she’d have been disappointed if her beau hadn’t asked. Brendan then writes to say the woman he’s seeing doesn’t need Valentine’s validation and ‘Coach’ could learn a lot from her.

R’uh-roh!

Across the street McKenna has apologized for dumping Brendan and suggests they should give it another go. She is understandably upset when she finds out he has a VD date. She also wheedles Avery’s name out of Kit, who is still trying and failing at capturing Pru’s attention. Some fun quotes from Pru and McKenna’s conversation about Kit’s crush:

McKenna, referencing Pru’s exes: “Kit’s different, he doesn’t have tattoos”

Pru: “He makes me nervous. I hate that feeling” 

McKenna: “I think that means you like him.”

At the paper, Avery’s editor is forcing her to out herself to her troll because “she writes about her feelings” so why not make herself more vulnerable to open attack by a known harasser? It’ll be fun!

McKenna puts two and nine together when Brendan admits to being the online troll, and she decides Avery needs to know the truth, which, fair. Brendan has a change of heart and attends the big coming out at the paper so he can apologize to ‘Coach’ and tell her she was right, arriving just in time for Avery to reveal herself as ‘Coach’. Brendan then rushes off  because he knows she’s gonna be pissed when she finds out he’s one who’s been harassing her. But McKenna stays long enough to spill the beans and ruin Avery’s life.

Brendan seems surprised that Avery is upset to find out he’s the kind of guy who would harass women online (#notallmen, amirite?) and his list of excuses include not knowing it was her. That’s it. That’s all he’s got. But don’t worry because dear old dad is back with such gems as:

“Maybe you’re just scared and this (her anger) is an excuse.”

“Give the rest of us a break because today’s column was a real downer”

I mean, he liked her column when it was sweet and hopeful, not, you know, when she has feelings he doesn’t deem acceptable. And who can forget the golden dad-ism of:

“It’s time the coach started thinking about the team.”

I’m almost done, I promise.

Avery decides the time for hiding from VD is over and buys a bunch of stereotypical crap for her family. While shopping she runs into McKenna, who tells her to give Brendan another chance because he’s a NICE GUY and McKenna is a sad, lonely creature we’re supposed to feel sorry for, despite her being exactly the kind of woman this movie spends 2 hours and 3 minutes telling us is how women should be.

Kit storms into the bakery/cafe with balloons, chocolates, and a giant teddy bear to declare his love for Pru. At her job. In front of customers. I mean, she has to say yes because even a shrew can’t say no to such a grand and manipulative gesture!

The movie ends with the unlikely couple getting back together (surprise!) when Brendan messages Avery through the comments on her final VD column and then showing up at her house before she can respond. Ah, true love, you defy all societal norms!

How I Would Fix This With Fic: By throwing the script in the trash and lighting it on fire.

Fics Like This: Another Mask Behind You by lettered (this promises to be 116k words of HP smut so I hope it lives up to expectations, Male Order Bride by teacuphuman (a gay rewrite of a Hallmark movie starring Bane and Blake from TDKR. Am I promoting my fic here? Hell, yeah!)

[tokyobts-blog]

sweet like candy

(gif not mine cr to the owner)

paring: kai x reader

genre: fluff, idol!au

word count: 2076

summary: you and jongin are both idols and in a secret relationship. after an award show you spend a cozy night at the hotel with him. jongin tells you he wants to stay with you and finally shares how he fell in love with you.

The car almost reached the hotel. You fell asleep in the meantime because the ride took so long. “Y/N you seriously have no patience” Jongin complained.

“Hey I heard that” you murmuringly answered. “Oh babe you’re awake?” he asked while he moved his shoulders. You once again fell asleep on him. How could you not though? It was actually so easy to get sleepy when you were with Jongin.

The boy was just too soft, it was unable not to drown in his sparkly brown eyes. Whenever he let out a word his voice hit you like a thousand rocks. You were for sure so in love with him.

“We’re almost there Y/N I promise” he whispered as he put you back to sleep.

The driver coughed. “Kim Jongin-ah” he said with a deep tone. “Yes?” Jongin immediately answered. “Is your partner sleeping again?” he asked. Jongin closed his eyes. For a second he prayed that this moment wasn’t real.

Having a partner wasn’t allowed as an idol. Jongin’s company was pretty strict too which made him fear sometimes. The world would go crazy if they’d find out about you two.

The both of you had a dating ban. You could ruin your and your entire company’s reputation by just dating. Your fans might as well transform into antis. Your antis would make you feel miserable and send death treaths. God, it was a painful reality.

“Excuse me but this person isn’t my partner” Jongin forced himself to lie. “Really?” the driver severly insisted. “They’re my cousin, we’re really close to each other” Jongin clarified.

“Oh I’m sorry” the driver apologized.

Not so long after you arrived at the hotel. “Y/N wake up, we’re there” Jongin said as he carefully lifted you up. “Finally” you sighed.

The driver was busy searching your bags as he opened the trunk. “Does your so-called cousin also stay at the hotel?” he asked with a frown. Jongin slowly started to lose his cool.

“Listen driver”

“What Kim Jongin, or should I say EXO Kai?”

“Did I insult you or something?”

“No”

“Then why are you being so disrespectful towards me and my cousin?”

“You’re overreacting Jongin”

“I’m actually not, you should simply do your job well”

Jongin felt more than frustrated. He couldn’t handle those drivers who think they can just treat idols badly. Some of them have no clue about manners and respect. “Give us our bags please” Jongin asked the driver as he raised his eyebrow. The driver rolled his eyes but was kind enough to hand your bags back. “Thank you” Jongin said.

The driver ignored him and stepped up to you. “Poor child, call me if Jongin is being abusive towards you” the driver said. “Now! Get the hell out of here before I hurt you!” Jongin furiously shouted.

The driver got scared and left as quickly as he could. Jongin didn’t make a single move until the car reached a far distance.

“I’m sorry Y/N, he just made me angry” he deeply sighed. Jongin pulled closer to you and placed a kiss onto your forehead. “I just couldn’t stand his questions about you“ he added. “I understand it’s not really your fault Jongin” you comforted.

“Come on let’s get inside quickly before Junmyeon starts to worry” you said while you glanced at your bags. “Right” Jongin answered.

The hotel looked extremely fancy and expensive. You can’t even remember staying at this place once. Maybe JYP Entertainment, your company wasn’t familiar with these types of hotels yet. You’d love to stay at this hotel with your members too though.

“STAR” was the name of the group you were part of. You’ve been repeatedly topping charts and breaking records. Your group gets along with EXO very well since you’re both actual Kpop legends. You’re close with all the members and obviously look up to each other.

“Man, I truly envy SM Entertainment” you said as you observed the hotel. Jongin laughed. “You like it that much?” he asked. “I actually do Jongin” you enthusiastically answered. “Well then you’re lucky Y/N because you’ll spend the entire night here with me” he whispered to your ear.

Being an idol honestly didn’t affect the relation between you two. You loved each other for who you were, not the influence nor popularity you had while making music. The bond you had was special and indescribable.

As you walked around while holding each other’s hands, Jongin guided you to the elevator. “Don’t get scared babe” he comforted. He knew how much you hated elevators. Just the thought of them made your stomach turn.  

“Get over here Y/N, I’ll hold you in my arms” he said as he pulled you closer. He carefully touched your hair because he didn’t want to ruin it. The texture of your hair itself really wasn’t the softest. But he loved it so much.

He started to smell your hair. “Cocoa butter shampoo isn’t it?” he grinned. “Obviously it is” you answered as you smirked. “Look at my baby out here looking mighty fine” he complimented. Your cheeks got warm as you felt yourself blushing.

”Y/N wait a minute” Jongin stopped. You tightened your arms around him. “What? Is the elevator about to crash?” you scaredly asked. “No sweetheart” he softly answered. He pulled his phone out of his jacket and called Junmyeon.

“Good evening”

“Jongin-sshi?”

“Yes it’s me”

“Why are you calling?”

“I just wanted to ask on what floor our room is”

“Jongin!”

“Please don’t shout, Y/N is in the elevator with me”

“Oh .. oh, I’m sorry”

“It’s fine”

“Hi Y/N can you hear me?”

“Junmyeon we don’t have time for that right now”

“Of course, I see”

“So?”

“We’re on the fifth floor”

“Perfect, we’ll see you in a minute”

You walked through the hotel and Jongin still held your hands. “It’s okay Y/N we’re alone now” he said. You trusted him but it was hard to be comfortable at hotels. Fansites booked flights to anywhere just to get photos of you. They followed your every single step as if they were trained to.

Jongin told you stories about his fansites and that you shouldn’t fear them. But sasaengs were something else. They were the most insane, dangerous and wild people. You’ve never considered them as fans but they still call themselves that.

If you’d ever be found with Jongin or Jongin would be found with you, it would literally be over. The press would do nothing but attack the both of you. That’s the main reason why you decided to keep your love for Jongin secret. Jongin did too, but he badly wanted to let it out.

As idols you both had a dating ban and couldn’t end it yourself. You had no control over that business. All you could do was perform, sing, dance and keep your reputaion safe.

It scared you sometimes to call yourself an idol but you couldn’t deny the fact that it was your passion. When you stood on stage, all your worries disappeared. All eyes were on you and you truly enjoyed that.

“Ah our couple must be here” Junmyeon said as he opened the door. “Surprise!” Jongin enthusiastically said. Junmyeon was actually happier to see you than Jongin.

“As expected from our Y/N” he said with a smile on his face. “I was just watching your performance at MAMA” he added as he pointed to his phone screen. “Oh really?” you surprisingly answered. Jongin shook his head. “So you’re really just going to flirt with Y/N like that?” he complained.

“Is my boyfriend a little jealous?” you teased. “If I’m your boyfriend, give me a kiss then” Jongin commanded. “Here we go again” Junmyeon said as he rolled his eyes.

“Are you alone here Y/N?” Junmyeon curiously asked. “Yes I am” you answered while you nodded your head. “But weren’t you at the award show with your members?” Junmyeon asked. “I was but after that they had a photoshoot without me” you informed.

“Without you?” Junmyeon confusedly asked. “Yeah it’s for a high fashion magazine and apparently my tan skin ruins the concept” you sighed. “That’s the most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard” Junmyeon complained. “I really don’t accept it either” Jongin said.

“You’re actually more than beautiful, you’re mesmerizing” Junmyeon softly let out. “Junmyeon I swear to God” Jongin sighed. “This is like the third time I catch you flirting with Y/N” he said as he widened his eyes. Junmyeon giggled. “You’re too possessive Jongin” he teased.

“Hey can I ask you guys something though?” you said. Junmyeon and Jongin looked up at you. “Go ahead babe” Jongin said as he smiled at you. “I’m really tired” you deeply sighed.

Of course you were, you just came from the MAMA award show and performed a special stage. Junmyeon glanced at Jongin as if he wanted to say something. “Take Y/N to bed please” he mouthed. Jongin didn’t hesitate and nodded his head.

“Babe we’re going to sleep alright?” he whispered to your ear. Junmyeon explained Jongin the way to the bedroom. “Don’t get lost around here okay” he said. Jongin promised to pay attention and not to get lost. “Have a good night with Y/N then” Junmyeon said as he smiled.

He kind of felt relieved that you were going to have a long rest. Your schedule also has been extremely tight for the past month. Your group STAR started to gain more and more recognition overseas. Therefore the company kept you busy and planned lots of activities.

Jongin was a big fan of STAR actually. Your fans already shipped you two but you had to be extremely cautious. You wouldn’t even want anyone to notice the slightest thing about you two. It was only when the cameras weren’t rolling you felt free. Or when the fansites were absent, you would be found kissing like the happiest couple ever.

As you laid down the bed Jongin started kissing your cheek. “What am I lucky to have you here Y/N” he said. His lips were perfectly pressed onto your skin. “Jongin” you whined. “Yes babe?” he asked.

“Before I fall asleep I want to know something” you said. Jongin warmly started to wrap his arms around you. “Then tell me what you want to know Y/N” he said as he placed another kiss onto your cheek.

You tried hard not to move away from him. You’d regret it if the touch between the two of you would get broken. “I actually want to know why you’re in love with me” you let out. Jongin gasped. “Do .. do you want to break up? Did I do something wrong?” he stuttered.

“Shhh it’s not that” you hushed. Jongin tried to get a message from your facial expression. “Well if you really want to know” he sighed.

“Y/N I just love everything about you”

“The way you dance on that stage, it’s like you just own it”

“I felt attracted to you for so long it blew my mind”

“I don’t know if it’s because we’re both main dancers of our group but ..”

“You really do stand out”

“And other than us being idols, I love how real you are”

“Your heart is so pure and you care so much for those around you”

“You are the perfection that they can’t touch”

“There I said it, that’s how I fell in love with you”

Your cheeks were burning up. Those words he said along that voice really made you weak.

“Jongin I-“ he placed a finger onto your lips. “Don’t say it Y/N because I already know” he whispered. You couldn’t help but giggle a little. He did knew how you fell for him, you really didn’t have to repeat that.

“Jongin you’re my sunshine”

“Y/N you’re my angel”

“My heart only belongs to you, did you know that?”

“I know, our love is just sweet like candy”

“I hope we can keep on loving each other endlessly”

“We will Y/N, I’m sure of that”

Jongin released his arms from you and pulled himself to the side of the bed. “Y/N I’m right here next to you” he said as he hugged you. Suddenly the lights turned off by itself. You gasped

“Expensive hotels Y/N, I’m sorry” Jongin laughed. “Oh right” you relievedly said. You laid a little closer to his side. As you closed your eyes you immediately feel asleep. “Sleep well Y/N” Jongin softly said.

[thedarkenedkeeper]

So this is what REAL fear feels like...

Welp...I never thought I'd say this but Anti has actually broken me. This - ALL of this - has been SO MUCH WORSE than the Antipocalypse! Why? I'll tell you why!

In October, a lot of us were all over the place about whether or not Anti would show up. There were one or two asks for Jack that even questioned if he'd bring Anti back out for Halloween, and he kept his answer vague yet seemed to hint that there was a possibility Anti wasn't going to show up. On the 29th and 30th he posted pictures of himself dressed all dapper, and immediately everyone thought we were getting a new ego or something. Come Halloween, we got a fantastic old silent movie-themed pumpkin carving video. But out of nowhere, who decided to show up? Anti! Even though we had been led to believe that he most likely wasn't going to show up.

Now it's December and there were videos like Heartbound and the DDLC videos that had us freaking out about Anti showing up for close to Christmas. However, Jack's answer to both an ask and a question from a stream strongly suggested that Anti wasn't going to show up again; he only brought Anti back for DDLC only and was going to wait a couple of months until the next big thing. A majority of us believed this, including me, and let our guard down. And while I do believe a good chunk of it was probably the truth, he never did say WHEN exactly the break from Anti would start. Just like with October, he TRICKED US. And he did it in the WORST way imaginable.

When he said there was going to be something "special" in between both streams, he wasn't fucking kidding. We've watching security camera footage for HOURS. The goddamn thing is STILL going! I don't know how long any of you guys stood up for or anything, but I stayed up for about 9 hours and 45 minutes straight, watching those damn cameras. I stayed up from 8:15 P.M. all the way until 6 in the fucking morning watching and waiting anxiously. And what's worse? Even when I eventually did go to sleep, I COULDN'T. I got a total of 3 hours of sleep and you can bet your ass I was tossing and turning with paranoia.

This entire thing has REALLY driven us all insane! Given how the stream is LIVE, Anti is literally giving us no choice but to actually give him our undivided attention. We're losing sleep and sanity because of him. We're losing sleep and sanity FOR him. If this isn't proof that we're not in control and that we're his braindead puppets, I don't know what is.

And the worst thing out of all of this - for me, anyway? It's not just how we were tricked - it's not just how he's proved how obsessed we are or how sleep deprived and insane we're becoming. No....in my case, it's that for the first time EVER, I am actually 100% AFRAID of Anti.

I mean, I'm not going to lie, August 3rd - the Kill Jack video - scared me. I was SO SHOOK after that video that to this day I can't watch it without getting triggered. I wasn't expecting a rage-consumed Anti, nor was I expecting him to call us out on the GB name or flat out threaten us. That being said, when I say it scared me, I don't mean it ACTUALLY scared me. I know Anti's not actually real, I know it's just Jack pretending and just acting oit as the character. I can laugh off my fear afterwards and go "Oh my God, wow, that was amazing!" But last night....this whole fucking stream....this is SO much different. This time it's actual FEAR I'm feeling.

I watch a bunch of horror movies and the ones that always - ALWAYS - get to me the worst are the found-footage ones, like Paranormal Activity. I believe in ghosts, I believe in that kind of shit that you can't see, and I have a wild imagination. So when I watch those movies, I tend to get too absorbed into them and my brain tries to convince me I'm watching real paranormal footage, and I end uo getting so scared to the point it's not fun. I can't laugh my fear off and I end up being paranoid and on edge for quite a while. This is EXACTLY what happened with me last night.

I was doing alright for a majority of it. Sure, there were things here and there that were sudden or strange, but nothing too creepy to send me reeling. But I'd been watching for hours - at night, no less - and I swear my eyes were starting to play tricks on me. And then for about 3 hours straight, there was silence. I ended up relocating up to my room, got in bed, and my lights were off, while I continued to watch. It was around 4 A.M. at this point and I was starting to drift asleep when the sound of static jolted me awake. I scanned through the cameras with wide eyes and what did I see? The damn emergency exit glitch to show someone crawling up the fucking dark stairwell. And in that moment, I felt fear and I mean TRUE fear. I HATE shit like that - human-like beings crawling or walking up and down stairs or hallways in unnatural creepy ways scare me in the worst ways possible (it's why The Grudge scares me so badly). All night, that damn emergency exit screamed nothing but bad news to me and my anxiety was going through the roof about the idea of something crawling up the stairs. And sure enough, my fear came true.

And when I say "true fear", I mean I wasn't laughing. This wasn't something I could laugh off, not anymore. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, I felt my blood run cold, my heart rate skyrocketed, my breathing became ragged - I felt like a child who was TERRIFIED of the boogeyman coming to get her. And it was in that moment that I realized I had actually come to a breaking point, that I HAD to stop watching because I had actually reached the point of getting TOO absorbed into it all and getting scared FOR REAL. I'm not kidding when I say I actually started tearing up and shaking because of how scared I got. Even the glitch that followed afterwards gave me a heart attack - hell, I was on edge that I barely even processed what I saw; my brain pretty much tricked me into seeing some lanky, abnormal figure oddly moving through the one hallway, and I knew then that I was DONE. I immediately shut everything down and tried to get to sleep, but that footage - it felt too real for me. I genuinely felt like I was witnessing real paranormal shit, and I was SCARED. I fucking cried because of it.

Anti's scared me before but never until last night has he actually made me experience full-blown FEAR. No laughing it off nervous, no "oh my god, that's cool! I wonder how they did that!", no "this isn't real". No, there was none of that. I sacrificed 9 hours and 45 minutes of my time to be driven so sleep deprived and insane that it got to the point genuine FEAR sank in. THAT is the effect Anti has had on me and holy FUCK, I can't even believe it.

I will say this: although I am tired and went through an emotional breakdown, I have to say this has been a lot of fun - about as much fun as the Antipocalypse, what with bringing the whole community together. I also have to saw that holy fuck, props to Jack and the crew for putting this whole thing together. Yeah, it took a HUGE toll on me last night, but that just goes to show that they've done a good job. After all, Jack himself said he wanted Anti to be taken seriously, not seen as a joke, and actually make him scary. Well, he's DEFINITELY succeeded in doing so.

PS Don't worry about me, I'm fine now. It's bright outside and I'm going to be out all day so no emotional trauma for the day; I'll get a good long break :)

PSS I saw a few posts in regards to there being a possibility of the stream continuing for another day or so. I swear to god...I barely even survived last night. I ACTUALLY reached a breaking point! I don't think I could survive another night or so of that again!

[neuropathicgypsy]

More knocking today

Two different people.i figured out they were messing with the air conditioner.

The dude just here said he couldn't budge it. It was jammed stuck in there

Since Gordito was warning me that he was going to kill me, I assume he was a big strong guy cause Gordito says he was all fired up.

So the next guy down the row is all "I send the weaker guys do and i tell them if they can't do it I'll do it myself and beat them in the ass, too"

So I had 15 minutes to move the air conditioner, by myself because that's what I have to do because I'm an adult.

So this dude is all with his hidden camera on my front door and he's all "oh my God my guy said he could not move that air conditioner and it would not budge for anything and she pulled that out with one arm! One arm! Oh my God, she what she means when she says "bring it" she meant it!!!"

And he's going on and on about my one arm.

I told him "I used two, don't be so dramatic"

But I did. Yesterday my daughter and I brought the wagon full of groceries up the stairs and into the house. I was looking at the goods still in it to see what we could use as weapons... luckiest chance will be he will stop to eat.

Worst case is that I run out of Chips Ahoy cereal and there was only one box so someone has to explain that.

But this dude is all scared now.

Im a very big girl with lots fat on my ass, stomach, thighs and arms oh and my quad chin. But not so far under that is muscle.

It didn't bother me at all to pull it out

Had to move the (unwrapped) presents and Christmas tree so I could fit then I had to pull out the metal machine then the window was stuck and I only had 15 minutes and that 15 can go quick so I was pulling hard as hell to get it straight locked.

He is screaming the whole time with this little electronic gadgets at his side all "oh my God I can't believe she did that! She's all "ic can't move it hurts so bad wah wah and she does this with on hand to the air conditioner"

Genius, radio frequency ablation or not. I'm not fucking gonna sit there with some dude trying to get in the easy way no mother fucker. Hell no that's lazy as fuck. I had to break into my own house because I Locked my keys in. No. You are gonna have a more difficult time to get into my house than I do.

#gofuckyourself

This mother fucker claims to see the light after promising all his little buddies that he's gonna kill me. He's now gonna break all them promises cause for Jesus sakes.

That's cool. I won't hold it against him.

Got all my windows and doors blocked. Break it and get in and you're gonna be all fuck i just rolled into Home Alone 2020.

I am not kidding. Still waiting to make sure that dude is gone and my daughter is breaking bottles in her room. No shit. The Starbucks. thick glass bottles.

It's home alone, man.

Some dude is being paid pennies or promised by a liar as deep as him. Seriously. He balks at me just pulling out the air conditioner. The fuck?

That's nothing.

That promise that so and so is gonna get money if they kill me. It's paperwork that can be overridden by my own or the FBI's. Or jail time. You can't get money if you're hired to murder

Dude is running around with a contract that he's gonna take to a lawyer for a pay out. "Hi, I promised Jesse I would kill sabrina and I did, so where's my money Mr Lawyer?"

I mean I could tell him the lawyer is FBI but then he didn't believe I would defend myself or my daughter alone. By myself. Because that's how I handle things

So at this point. He's either not going to do it cause he's scared or he's gonna be dumb and for real expect some money

Regardless there's a beautiful paper trail. So they may let him think he's gonna get and book a flight to paradise. Actually load the plane and land in paradise for the cops to smile and take him right back on.

Imagine it. All the money you ever dreamed of in your life. Ever. You can own the world. Just kill a fat bitch that's been in bed for two years. Easy. Easy. Moneh. So easy. Mmmm..I can smell the money. Oh yeah. Ohhh rub it on my fat tummy, hide stacks in my fat roll.

Hide that shit and hold up my fat so my back don't have to carry the load and I load up in a crane to get in my private jet.

Paradise. On my way. Staring out the window so so so so happy

I'm on top the world. Nothing gonna stop my smile. A little pain. Just rub a $100 bill on it.. mmmm so so so so good.

Okay so maybe you're not fat. Read it again and add yourself in it. Maybe your dick is so hard you need help to make it look more like "BoxErs' or you're all mmm new titties, stack some money up there and see what I look like STACKED as fuck!!!!

(I seriously got yelled at cause I was for real in the zone. And laughed at. It's ok)

I think you get the picture.

It doesn't matter how much pain I have. The emotional and mental pain will last so much longer than a little back pain added to my already pain. I have alot of pain all the time. I can block it out but it takes alot of energy

Let's #science for a minute. Adrenaline knocks out all pain. You hear all the time people getting shot and not knowing till they see the blood cause they're all amped up.

So to decide to hurt someone who is already in pain #science the person knows what pain is and is in pain constantly so it doesn't matter how much pain someone causes them. Because for them it's nothing.

Let's do a mini study:

You take someone with years of pain

And someone that works out alot so they have some stretchy pain. Sore muscles etc. I get tinnitus like a bitch in both elbows and wrists cause I go all crazy like straight from bed to carrying air conditioners. (That is what happened) but most people that work out regularly have very little pain.

So high pain tolerance vs average pain tolerance

Same as a Snoop Dogg Weed Smoker vs a first timer smoker.

Same as a hot dog eating champion vs someone constantly on a diet.

Same as an alcoholic vs someone never drank but a few sips when they daddy's back turned (in my case my mom's)

So. Seriously. I have a very high pain tolerance

And unfortunately for some (possibly) i did have successful radio frequency ablation. So I'm doing amazing things like standing for 5 whole entire minutes. Yesterday we carried up the wagon full of groceries. Not a shallow Radio Flyer. A deep one. Very deep. I was on the bottom so I had to balance and lift. It was difficult.

Then we reached the top. I couldn't get to the door so I handed my daughter the key. She was messing around laughing all "I tried to use the car key" I had to stop my mouth. It was crazy. I was about to tell her, (because I've been telling her the truth about my pain and so I try to explain to her what's going on so she understands that sometimes I'm not socially normal. And it is okay to be all I have pain. It's not a weakness. Of course tell a hired hit man, that and you gotta haul out an air conditioner which he still insits was with one hand) so my hips you know... I had to settle my body square but realized I was okay and could stand without pain.

Like for real. It was so awesome. I didn't have nay back pain. I felt great. I was gonna tell her "hurry up, my back hurts" but I didn't have to. I didn't need to. Because I had no pain.

Sure I need my pelvis and my neck done but so what. It's actually better in my neck... or was... yesterday wasn't so kind to it.

What was cool was the FBI was surprised and amazed. I'm gonna cry. Because they have been such a huge support for me. My doctor checking on me constantly answering the lamest and most unintelligent questions over and over. He's so kind. The FBI asks questions about the pain I had from the procedures. Asking how to avoid things and how to do others and making sure that I would be pain free. It's amazing. I'm so so lucky they referred me there and I got treatment. It has been a very long process taking 3 months but finally we finished and I'm so lucky

My pain started suddenly. Out of the blue. And just got worse and worse. My regular doctor wouldn't give me stronger pain medication and wouldn't help me. So the FBI did. They would tell me about other people that got it done to help me understand and feel better. It hurt. Alot. Alot alot alot. But they were always there just making sure I was okay. Making sure I wouldn't have problems and my doctor, he would do it on his own because he's awesome but the FBI just dragging him along, what's this and what's that and she feels this and that is that normal? We're lucky he didn't get a restraining order! They sent other guys and girls in the FBI to be treated by my doctor so they knew what was normal in the office and they could see what happens. Of course they double, triple and annoyingly checked. Just for me. I help alot of people.

And today I had 2 different guys try to kill me and the third on the fence. So as you can imagine add in Denise and all the others i complain about, it's quite overwhelming of negativity. Mental and emotional strain and pain. And a heart condition causes physical problems as well.

So I'm not gonna say i couldn't handle it on my own because I made the decision to try it, full throttle all the way. Even if I had to lie --- which I didnt. Thank god it worked. The first day I had pain in my side. I studied it and memorized it to the point I was severely anti social. And after despite insane pain from needles and lidocaine injections and my back already being swollen clear across my entire upper ass region. The pain I studied was gone. I knew for a fact.

But I decided if I had to, I would lie. Because I didn't have a choice. I couldn't walk just to the bathroom sometimes. I can't have back surgery. I'm a mean bitch (they say I just say I'm aomtim bitch but whatever) and I can stand up to billionaires and people trying to kill me, swat teams, guns in front of idiot ass holes, kidnappers. All sorts of the craziest shit that sometimes doesn't even seem real. But I'm scared to death of back surgery. I've heard so many times it doesn't work and just makes shit worse. It's like chemo. Two things I never want to do and may elect not to, even if my life will be over sooner.

I suppose if I got in a fight with some dude trying to kill me, I would end up with needing it. But that's like an award. A battle scar. It's different. It's all yeah I kicked his ass and saved mine. It sounds so fucking awesome to me. It's uplifting because I survived but yeah of course I had to work really really super hard at it because I hurt myself to the point of surgery. So it's like a feeling. God says he's sorry and so he's gonna not let me suffer anymore and allow the surgery to be 100% successful.

I mean at that point. Maybe I need some metal in my back, to deflect bullets and be all bulletproof.

So yeah. I'm not a liar. That's the point. I don't have to lie.

Sometimes being late for work or taking my daughter to work I'll think of all these fantastic lies that I could say to make my being late super important. By the end, i get there and I'm all "Man we were fucking asleep" not fucking tho. Just sleeping. Truth sounds human. Normal. We all fuck up. Sometimes more than enough nut we do and it's better to tell the truth that you were sleeping than to try to keep all your lies straight. Because when your boss wants to fire you and looks at your file and you're all "I over slept so I was an hour late" "I had a hangover and I killed my alarm and didn't know what it was" they're gonna be all... on one hand they're always late on the other hand they're completely honest

So I just tell the truth. What? I fuck up. Punish me if you want but I'm real. I'm a real human being. And I'm not gonna lie to you.

Honesty is so important. My mother is a master we manipulator and brain washer. So fuck it. Be honest

Then you'll have an idiot marvel at how you can move an air conditioner in less than ten seconds that a weight lifter couldn't. I don't have a reason to lie. I don't like lying. I don't mind tricks so much. Like implying I had Matt's baby when really it was my cousin's and it was a girl not a boy. Or implying I was at Matt's hide away house when really i was at my aunt's. Those are different. Sometimes you have ro test the waters. And I Never said a lie. I allowed you to lead yourself to believe something you wanted to believe or not believe if you think I can be yours. And you wanted to have an anger fit. Or be happy for me.

You know, honestly in was wishing. I was wishing that it was true so there was a deep make believe in the story. But it was all make believe which just now that term just totally made a different sense to me. Make believe = believing something someone made you think. I always thought make believe was imagination. Not some twisted Hitler Denise shit. But yeah. That's all Denise. It's horrible. Like finding out a sing along song is about the plague.

I've had a rather shocking day and so has my hit man so I'll be quiet for awhile. See if I can get my dropped jaw to stop letting all the humidity out my mouth.

So Mr Hitman, Reporter fool. If you get bored think about how you will defend yourself against an air conditioner being used as a weapon.... on your drive done to see me.

Or just put yourself to bed. All your friends are in jail. I don't think they will mind that you weaked out and broke your promises to them.

Of course you would probably need to hide from them when they find you chickened out. So then you would need paradise money. But then the FBI is just gonna arrest you if you do or if you dont.

The FBI thinks you should turn yourself in.

I'm not licensed to do this so let's entertain ourselves for a moment before I go:

The Hitman is an adrenaline junkie, he thinks he's strongest and wisest and must send the weaker out before him. And it's true, he did.

Yet he believes what he wants to, mostly lies he tells himself. Like I'm a liar. He's gonna get paid. There's no FBI protecting me.

If I was him and really believe myself but saw the light but still wanted freedom. Personally I would run. No GPS. In woods. Swamps, water. Making myself as cold as possible so the heat lamps wouldn't find me. But I'm a loner and kinda crazy.

So this guy will probably go hide out at a friend's house and then get their house raided so then he has even more enemies.

The FBI tells me he has no way out and he should turn himself in.

So that or go Rambo.

I guess go to the Casino, try that fantasy on the plane trick, if you can win.

I guess also, if it were me. I would go all out. Night on the town like you wouldn't believe. Remember when you get arrested that's the shit you leave jail in. If you get that opportunity. So definitely arrest me in heels and the most sparkled soft beautiful dress you can imagine. So when I finally get out. I look like a Million bucks. So that my outside space resembles my inside space. That final freedom.

Then pick up where I left off that night I got arrested. Out. Drinking. Smoking. Fucking. Whatever i want as my last harrauh.

If you turn yourself in then you still can dress it up. Maybe something a little tight you haven't worn on awhile cause you plan to do them push ups all kinds while in the pen. So when you get out its it's a double celebration.

Anyways. That's me. Either I'm all Rambo style in the mud in the dead of winter or I'm in a ball gown. It's so difficult to decide.

Ball gown is so much calmer. Plus after getting out Rambo clothes are gonna be dirty. They don't let you wash them before you go home. So.

I would probably ask for 5 hours on the town and then arrest me.. me. You would have to arrest, I'll be honest. Fuck that turning myself in bullshit. Yet on the other hand, cops are less rough when you're all "okay. I know it's time. Hi"

And the cops they laugh cause they're so surprised. They're all the fuck?? You make their day. And even if your day sucks for you, it's a nice feeling to make someone else's a little awesome.

[neonblossom8]

Just A Little Explanation

Ok! Hey guys! So I wrote this as a continuation of the lovely @justwritingscibbles fan-fics called Just a Little Anger and Just A Little Evil. Please, please go check her out and read those fanfics before reading this one! Not only will it be easier to understand but her writing is amazing and it will bless your life! Alright! Here we go! (P.s, I changed it to present tense just cause it seemed to flow a bit more the way I wanted it to) I really hope you enjoy it! Please let me know if you want another section! - - - That night you feel as if your body was torn apart from the inside out. Absolutely everything hurts, even as you lie still on the couch. Most of the pain emanates from the gash across your stomach, which Anti still hasn’t explained; sure, the image of bloodied shards of glass scattered across the grocery store bathroom gives you an idea, but you still can’t put together anything between that major headache and waking up exhausted in Anti’s arms.

It’s still surprising that the two of you weren’t charged with destruction of property with all of the chaos you left in your wake. The manager seemed furious when he was called to the scene, but you also know how good Anti is at manipulation… On second thought, you know exactly how you got out of that mess.

But another mystery rises to the front of your mind.

What was Anti talking about earlier? He had said something like, “I won’t let her take you again.”

A sharp pain snaps you from your thoughts.

You shift your head to look over to where Anti sits on the ground. He is at your side, his eyes closed and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his hands hover above your wound glowing with a warm green light.

He had told you earlier to “Stay as relaxed as possible" even though “it may hurt.”

You sigh and allow your eyes to slide up his arms. His cuts are already healed from a few hours ago but the blood still stains his torn shirt.

He opens his eyes, as if feeling your stare and turns his attention to you. His emerald eyes are soft but there is no way he could hide his worry in them, not even with a smile.

“Hey, how are you feeling, babe?” He inquires gently as he moves his hands to yours and runs his thumbs gently over your knuckles. You wince as you suck in a breath.

“I feel…like shit. What the hell happened to me? Just tell me already.”

Your voice is frail but you manage to keep some of your conviction. Not knowing was getting annoying, and the longer he kept it to himself, the more anxiety it gave you.

The corners of his lips fall slightly but he continues to caress your hands while he replies, “I’ll tell you after the healing process is done, alright?” A brief moment of relief washes over you. “As of right now, I really need you to stay as still as possible. Like I said before, this is gonna hurt, a lot, but only for a minute. The damage isn’t too bad but it’s bad enough.“

You nod and roll your head back against the pillow and try and steady your breathing. Anti’s hands release yours and hover over your wound again.

“Are you ready?” He asks, shutting his eyes once again.

“I’m guessing I have to be, so yes.”

You exhale and watch as his hands radiate a visible energy, bathing the both of you and the surrounding furniture in a luminous neon green light.

You gasp at the searing pain that starts at the edges of the gash and grows in intensity as the skin begins to pull together. You choke back a scream and spots gather in your eyes, a byproduct of the restraint it takes not to writhe in agony.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. We’re halfway there.” His voice sounds distant as another rings in your ears, talking over him.

“Let the pain consume you Y/N.”

The voice pierces your mind, making you feel as though your skull was being cracked open.

“Just give into me, I can help you, I can take it all away. Just fall back into the darkness.”

The pain and confusion is too much to bare any longer and a scream rips from your throat.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” Anti’s voice starts to penetrate through the chaos, “just 10 more seconds, you can hold on.”

The voice in your head fades, but you can make out one last sentence, “That’s right, scream.”

A cold shock runs through you as those words ache in your mind, but soon enough you feel Anti’s light dim to a peaceful glow and the pain you had disperses into warmth, exhaustion and relief.

-

Your breaths are labored and sweat runs down your forehead. Anti slowly brings his hand to your face to brush away the hair that was sticking to you.

“There,” he says, fingers grazing your skin, “You’re all patched up, let’s get you to b…” You sit up quickly, ignoring the dizziness that ensues, “Oh no, you’re not gonna send me to bed and get outa telling me what the hell happened today!” Your voice is shaking from the intensity of what your body just went through, but you’re too frustrated to care. You feel a small twinge in the back of your head when you think about that voice…what was that? Your glare grows weak and you transfer your gaze to your hands lying in your lap.

“Anti, I’m scared.” He opens his mouth to say something, but you continue on, “When you were healing me, my head hurt… bad. It was almost exactly as it had been back in the isle at the grocery store before I blacked out.”

Anti’s eyes narrow. It’s clear that he’s listening intently.

“I would’ve thought it was just a part of the pain you were saying I was going to feel during the process,” you continue, “but I…I heard a voice. It wasn’t my voice. It was telling me to give into the pain and,” your voice falters, “to fall back into darkness.”

Tears well in your eyes as you look up at Anti, pleading for confirmation that you weren’t going insane. His face is almost too calm. It almost upsets you that he isn’t reacting. 

But then you see his eyes.

They’re sparking with animosity and his hands, clenched into fists, shiver and glitch.

“Anti…please…tell me what’s happening to me.”

Anti shakes his head and inhales deeply.

The glitching stops just as he’s opening his mouth to speak.

“I’m going to try and explain this in the best way I can, Y/N. Just know, I will fix this.” He pauses and waits for your nod. “Ok. You may not fully understand what I am, but you know what happened. You know I gained control over your friend Sean…how I’m not him, but I live in and through his body.”

Your eyes remain locked on his as you try to ignore the throbbing ache in your heart when he says his actual name. You haven’t heard it in so long; you see his face and hear his voice everyday, but you’re just so used to how he’s changed into Anti that you forgot he was once completely human…

You try to push the memory out of your mind and concentrate on what he is saying but it’s hard to understand where he’s going with this.

“There are more, entities, like me. Constantly searching for a host body easy enough for them to overpower. Y/N…” his words slowed down. “One has found you and has begun to weave itself into your being. It was strong enough to gain full control today.” Your eyes widen in horror. “it hurt you…to get to me.”

Your mind goes blank at first, and then fills with endless questions.

“How did it get inside me? Why me? What does it want with you?”

“It found you while you were weak. Those few rough days at work made you an easy emotional target. Entities like us thrive on anger, pain and sadness. Remember how you got so fed up you punched your manager in the face and you said that you basically blacked out as you did it? That was it, it was her influencing your mind and blinding you with fury.”

This is all so much more than you expected. All you can do is blink and wait for what he has to say next.

“While she had your body, she spoke with me. She brought up something I thought I had only said to you.” He paused, “Remember that same night you had gotten fired and your rage had fueled my lust for you? Well, after we had..finished, I had half joked saying something like ‘I hope you don’t become fully dark. But if you did, you’d definitely get more of this.’ I’m guessing she took that as an invitation. She saw it as me acknowledging her power and therefore saw it as if my lust was for her. Now she craves that feeling and is more than willing to drown you in darkness to get it again.”

Anti watches you slowly process this.

Your face doesn’t move and your voice comes out as a whisper as tears stain your cheeks, “Am…am I going to lose myself…like Seán?” - - - Again, this is just my own continuation of what @justwritingscibbles has started. I was merely inspired by her wonderful writing and I did ask her permission to create this before-hand! Thank you all so so much for reading!

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #177

“Mort, Dawn and Pinwheel the Venomous Dragon”

[gem] -walks into the bar- hello everyone

[CP] - You call him, I don't wanna

[Doc] Looks at Gem, - my gods, it's full of stars....

[gem] am I missing something here?

[Deer] - Doc is able to see aura's now

[gem] oh cool so mine looks like space.

[Deer] - I'm assuming so, wait till they take a picture

[Splender] Teleports in- I HAVE THOUGHT OF A NAME!- He's holding the angry little rainbow dragon

[CP] - Why did you bring it here!

[gem] oh hello splenderman what's the little dragon's name?

[Splender] - Pinwheel!  Because it's all sorts of pretty colors like one!

[gem] daw that cute.

[Pinwheel] Hisses angrily, it's tail whipping back and forth-

[gem] -flies up to pinwheel- hi there.

[Pinwheel] Lunges at Gem-

[Splender] - Pinwheel no!

[gem] -gets bit and her space angel eyes slowly start turning black and black gas is coming out of them-

[Lie] - Gem?- She's already spawning healing flowers

[gem] you guys might want to leave this gas is poisonous I will be fine as long as I can keep my insides in-the gas is spreading across the roof-

[Doc] Shifts in a panic, Hir head punching a hole through the roof. Xe grabs Gem and throws hir in a high arc towards the bay. Then scrabbles out the hole hirself, hir mouth on fire from the poison.

[Deer] - Doc!

[Doc] Flops down the hill and rolls into the river, drinking desperately-

[Lie] - Sam stay back!  We don't want you to burn.  Go downstairs if you have to

[Sam] Makes a break for the basement-

[gem] -the gas is quickly flowing out the hole and gem is flying over the bay-

[CP] - Can't go a day without some sort of shit happening...- Since Sam is gone he reaches across the bar and pulls a random bottle off the shelves behind

[Dawn] Ran outside with Mort as soon as the gas started spewing out

[Flux] Turned into her mist form and reforms next to Dawn and Mort-

[gem] -looks like she will vomit but she is trying to hold it back-

[Splender] Is crying because Pinwheel bit Gem-

[Dawn] Whoah... what happened? That critter must have one hell of a bite

[Lie] Steps out of the bar- According to another resident here, Pinwheel pretty much has pit viper venom

[gem] -can't keep flying and lands near the bay but away from everyone she look like she is desperately not trying to throw up-

[Deer] Takes Yaunfen outside and heads for Doc- Love?  Are you okay?

[Dawn] Holy crap, what's the chimera gals name? Gem? She'll need medical attention right away!

[Splender] Comes out still crying with Pinwheel biting him- I'm so sorry!

[Doc] Has obvious burns on hir lips and tongue and has stuck hir snout under the water while it slowly heals.

[Mort] It's not your fault man. Your pet needs a muzzle.

[gem] -from far away- if I can keep my self from throwing up I will be fine.

[Splender] - But it's just a baby!

[Mort] Yeah and babies don't know they're hurting you. Why do you think new mothers tend to have short hair? The little brats just pull on that shit as hard as they can.

[Splender] Whimpers sadly-

[Endrea] Flies over- I saw Doc throw something, is everything okay?

[Mort] How is that not hurting you? You have bites all over your hands.

[Dawn] The chimera gal got bit and started spewing gas-

[Splender] - I'm a slender being, we're not really affected by poisons and such

[Endera] - I see...  Is Doc alright?

[Deer] Is rubbing Doc comfortingly-

[Doc] Makes a bit of a whimper -

[gem] -can't hold her mouth closed anymore and throws up all the liquid in her body including her blood and falls over and hits respawn the death message reads 'GemAngelBrine died of poison'-

[Mort] Neat. Hey, it's nice to see you again all the same.

[Dawn] HOLY CRAP

[Splender] - Nice to see you too!

[Mort] I'd say under better circumstances but that was.. intense..

[Lie] - Relax, the respawn caught her, she's already alive again

[Dawn] Infinite lives cheat huh?

[Lie] - Pretty much

[Doc] Is mostly healed and just kinda flops half in and out of the water.

[Deer] Digs through the creative menu and perks up- Ah, here love, drink this- She hands Doc a pail of milk

[Doc] opens hir jaws gratefully and lets Deerheart just pour it in, it removes that last bit of discoloration as the poison is neutralized. - Thank you... I can't even tell you what that tasted like.

[Deer] - Anything for you love

[gem] -comes back with her guardians close behind while also hold eddy and edward- I'm back.

[Dawn] Lucky for you, that was insane...

[gem] it's all if I can hold my mouth closed long enough for my body to get rid of it with the black smoke I just couldn't.

[Splender] - I'm so sorry Gem...

[gem] it's ok splender I know you didn't mean for this to happen.

[Doc] Well my vision is back to normal at least....

[Stevie] Over chat- Hey Doc?  There's a command block over here beeping like mad...

[Doc] And onto the next emergency, wait? What? SHIT. I forgot about the anti-venom program...

[Doc] Goes to get up and just falls back over. - Owww....

[Lie] - Do you need my flowers Doc?

[gem] -goes over to look where she died there is something growing there and gem seem very interested in it-

[Doc] Actually I need about a weeks worth of sleep. Deerheart? Any chance you could go to Lie's house and pick up the finished codes? It should look like a bowl of mush on top of a command block.

[Deer] - Sure, I'll be right back- She takes Yaunfen as she goes

[gem] -picks up and brings over to the group a flower it looks like an orchid but it's petals look like the night sky-

[Dawn] Looks over at Gem- Do you get a special plant growing in your death spot each time you die or something?

[CP] Being the only brine left in the bar still reluctantly starts fixing the roof-

[Lie] Frowns- Not normally...

[Sam] Threw on some old leather armor and starts helping Cp-

[gem] this is a space angel thing when we die we leave flowers.

[Dawn] It's pretty. Orchids are such a bitch to grow.

[Lie] - Interesting- She steps closer to investigate

[Mort] So what's new with you Splender? Apart from the baby dragon?

[gem] the thing is they aren't all orchids they can be any plant but they will have part that look like space.

[Splender] - Lots of boring work since brother was injured...

[Mort] What happened to your brother?

[Splender] - Oh, another of our brothers accidentally led the SCP into our forest.  He got hurt protecting one of his proxies

[Sam] Gathers up Doc's scattered pictures-

[Mort] SCP? Oh, like the guys that tried to capture Lie and Doc that one time. Fuck those jokers. They're worse then the MIBs.

[Splender] - Uh-huh!

[gem] lie would you like to look at the flower? -holds it out for her-

[Lie] - Absolutely- She carefully takes it

[Mort] Thankfully the SCP hasn't found us, but I've had to scare the MIBs away more then once.

-the petals are a deep blue and the stars on the flower seem to glow even though it's an orchid it seem strong and resilient-

[CP] Finishes fixing the roof and takes a swig from the bottle he took, only to spit it out almost immediately- Shit!

[Sam] Addresses him in his normal tongue- What's wrong sir?

[CP] - That's not booze...

[Sam] Oh dear.... what was behind the bar that wasn't alcohol? I usually keep the mixers in the cold trunk.

[CP] - Take a guess, it's one of TLOT's favorites...- CP's starting to turn a bit red

[Sam] Ah... the golden mead of the Touchie hives. Good thing your lovely wife is nearby. Hey, at least it wasn't lust blossom nectar.

[CP] - Shut up!

[Sam] Backs off innocently

[CP] Is just cursing under his breath-

[Mort] I heard kinda third-hand you were babysitting. How's that going?

[Splender] - Oh well enough, actually they should be heading home soon

[Doc] I'm so dead... - rolls over and puts hir feet up in the air.

[Dawn] What's wrong now?

[Deer] In chat having heard Doc- Oh no, who shall I make lovely kinky sex to now?

[Doc] in chat - I don't know! It's tragic! - I kinda fucked up. I'm anticipating getting yelled at at least when it's revealed

[Deer] Returns carrying a bowl and Yaunfen following her-

[Dawn] Time to get called to the principals office I see. You have my condolences.

[Lie] Is absorbed in looking at the plant-

[Doc] Well at least we might have one problem solved. Thank you love. - Xe does some quick analysis on the contents- Looks good so far. Lie, I have some raw materials for you.

[gem] I never knew what flower I left till now I always wanted to know.

[Lie] - Hm?  What?

[Doc] The anti-venom code is ready. You said you'd try to make it into something for me? It needs to be some kind of fruit with a lot of liquid in it. So it can be eaten or drunk as needed.

[CP] Is resisting the effects of the touchie wine as much as he can-

[Lie] - Oh, right, yeah I'll get to work on that

[Doc] Good. Because I think we'll need it again before too long

[Sam] Just go to her sir. It' not like she minds.

-a few blocks where gem dies are also growing more of the orchids-

[CP] - Not in front of the others...

[Lie] Takes the bowl from Deer- Alright, let's see if I can get this to work...

[gem] -goes over and takes another orchid form the group to take home-

[Lie] Begins concentrating on the paste in the bowl, her powers starting to swirl around it-

[Deer] Stays next to Doc while Yaunfen chews on it's gem-

[Mort and Dawn] are both watching fascinated-

[Doc] Splender this should interest you particularly- what she has there is a reverse of the virus code that's injected each time Pinwheel bites someone.

[Lie] The paste rolls on itself, becoming spherical and lifting from the bowl.  Lie gently lowers it to the ground where tendrils wrap around it before bursting upwards, twisting in and around on itself-

[Splender] - Oooooo

[Deer] Can feel the seed accepting the new plants, both Gem's and Lie's- Oh...  That's new

[Dawn] You have lovely energy Lie.

[Lie] - Thank you- Leaves are sprouting on the new plant, as well as branches which arc outwards and downwards

[Doc] Is it going to be like a root vegetable?

[Deer] - Flux?  Is what I'm feeling now an affect of having connected with the heart of the seed?

[Flux] - Yes, you'll feel the more minute things about the server itself now

[Lie] - I think more of a fruit...

[Doc] Fuck it... I already feel like shit. I'll test it.

[Dawn] Wait, are you sure?

[Lie] Watches as the plants bear a rainbow colored fruit- Well at least it will be easy to identify

[gem] it's very pretty.

[Mort] Yeah, it's colorful just like what it's supposed to conteract?

[Dawn] How midievil... You cure a thing with a plant that looks like the thing.

[Lie] - It will counteract Pinwheels venom

[Splender] Pokes at the fruit-

[Lie] Lifts the fruit a little which causes it to break from the branch.  She bring it over to Doc- Here you go Doc

[Doc] Holds it in one paw. - Splender... I'm ready.

[Splender] - Are you sure?

[Doc] I can't ask anyone else to do this. And I have to know if it works or not. Let them bite my tail, it will give me a moment before it actually hits my hearts.

[Splender] Brings the angry little ball of feathers over to Doc's tail where it quickly strikes-

[Doc] Jerks at the searing rush of agony from the bite, hir tail slamming reflexitively into the opposite bank and throwing sand everywhere. Hir teeth are gritted to keep from screaming and it's obviously taking effort just to open hir mouth-

[Deer] Very worried- Doc...

[gem] -is watching in concern-

[Deer] Shifts into her dragon form and forces Doc's mouth open, putting the fruit in-

[Doc] Is flopping in hir lovers grip and swallows the fruit whole. After a moment the thrashing calms down and xe relaxes against Deerheart, scooting closer for comfort and wrapping hir tail around hir feet.

[Deer] - Love?  Talk to me...  Please!

[Doc] Gasps- You know... I've fallen in lava with my glitch on an unstable frequency and burned to death before, I honestly think that hurt way worse.

[Deer] - It's okay, I'll always catch you

[Dawn] Well viper venom does turn blood to mush...

[Doc] I know... I trust in you, always.

[Mort] At Splender- Looks like we have a winner.

[Splender] Crying again- I'M SO SORRY!

[Lie] - Hey...  Did CP ever come out?

[Doc] Don't cry Splender. It's not your fault. And it's not the first or the last time I'll hurt myself for the greater good. Take the fruit and grow some yourself. Carry a bit with you, then you don't have to worry about your friends. Hopefully Pinwheel will be less likely to bite randomly when they get a bit older.

[Splender] - I understand...

[Lie] Makes the plant bear another fruit to give to Splender- When you pick them, lift the fruit upwards, if it's ready the stem will snap

[Dawn] Mind if I take one too? I won't show it to anyone. But it might be handy in an emergency. I'll just slice it up and freeze it.

[Lie] - Sure, if you ever need more, just let me know

[CP] Is nearly doubled over in want for his mate-

[Sam] Sir... please.. just go to her....

[CP] - Not while...  The others...  Are there...

[Sam] Then send the outsiders home. It has to be getting dark.

[CP] - Can't concentrate, won't work...  Besides, they were promised a tour...

[Doc] I think I need a break. Anyone mind if I go hide for a few hours?

[Lie] - Go right ahead Doc

[Deer] - Do you want me to join you?

[Doc] Yes please, I don't think Yaunfen would object to us having a dragon cuddle either.

[Deer] Hums happily and nuzzles Doc-

[Lie] - Dawn, Mort, if you two want to follow me...

[Doc] Shakes a little to get rid of the last of the water, making hir hair fuzz up. - Lead on love.

[Deer] Gently picks up Yaunfen and starts heading off to hide away in the roots of Lie's massive tree-

[gem] -heads back home-

[Mort] At Splender- You gonna hang out with us Splender? Looks like we're going to look at Lies flowers.

[Splender] - No, I think I'm going to go in the village and feed a bit

[Dawn] Hey Lie, don't forget your husband.

[Lie] - Oh right- She goes and opens the bar door

[CP] Immediately pounces on her wrapping his arms around her-

[Lie] Yelps as she falls onto her but- CP!

[Dawn] I see my adjustments had more of an effect than I anticipated...

[Mort] Snickers and gives Flux a playful elbow at the sight.

[Lie] - CP...  What did you get into!

[CP] - Fucking touchie wine...  Stupid un labeled bottle...

[Lie] - CP it's the only bottle that isn't labeled...

[Mort] Oh dear....

[Sam] from the doorway- It's usually obvious what it is-

[Lie] Sighs and rubs her husbands hair- Honestly, what am I gonna do with you...

[Dawn] I think I know what he'd like you to do....

[Lie] - I AM NOT DOING THAT OUTSIDE!

[Dawn] I made no suggestions as to time or place, but he is a rather virile male.

[Lie] - I know...  Come on CP, we should be going, it's starting to get dark

[Dawn] Is that bad?

[Lie] - Night time is when the things that can kill you will come out.  Most of them burn up during the day

[Dawn] Then by all means, let's be on our way.

[Lie] Gets CP off of her and leads him, Dawn, and Mort towards her home- I'm just glad my house isn't very far

[Mort] Stays close to Dawn.

[Dawn] She hasn't revealed the blade of her scythe, but she's ready to whack anything that gets too close.

[Lie] Her greenhouse is quickly in view and the female brine smiles gently- Ah, home

[Dawn] Is looking at the pipelike chrous plants. - Is it organic, or plumbing?

[Lie] - Organic, it produces a fruit which will teleport you a short distance

[CP] - Liiiiiiieeee...

[Lie] - Patience CP

[Mort] Peeks inside the greenhouse- This place is a kalidoscope in both energy and actual color.

[Dawn] And I'm betting all of them were made with a purpose in mind like the one today.

[Lie] - Not all of them...

[Dawn] What's the exception?

[Lie] - My black vines, which were initially made when I was angry, and...  My...  Lust blossom...

[CP] - Fuck that stupid thing

[Dawn] Like to hold it in, don't you?

[Lie] Blushes- Shush

[Dawn] It just makes it all the more uncontrollable when it comes out naturally. You know what happens when you try to choke out weeds by pushing them down. Things.. crack...

[Lie] - That plant was made while we were...  Fucking...

[Dawn] Sounds powerful...

[Lie] - It is...

[CP] - Her offensive plants also produce the same nectar...

[Dawn] That is a beautiful way to get an enemy off your ass. Honestly, I like your style.

[Lie] Blushes more deeply-

[Dawn] Speaking of such, your mate looks ready to explode.

[Lie] Shifts nervously- Soetimes the urges made from touchie wine can be appeased just by touching...

[Mort] We can make ourselves scarce for a bit if you like.

[Dawn] Just somewhere inside, since it's obviously dangerous out here.

[Lie] - Feel free to stay in my house...  CP- She yelps as her mate pounces her once more

[Dawn] Can do Lie. Is it unlocked?

[Lie] - Always

[Mort] Then I say we make a run for it. You ready?

[Dawn] Bolts-

[Mort] Dammit! - Is after her with an ungainly clatter of bones

[CP] Nuzzles into Lie and she's barely able to focus enough to close off the entrance with thick foliage-

[Stevie] Hears the door open and close- Lie?  Brother?

[Dawn] Scoots inside, laughing softly -hmm?

[Mort] Also runs in and slams the door a bit. -

[Stevie] - Oh, um...  Hello

[Dawn] Hi. Sorry, we didn't know who else was here, did we wake you?

[Stevie] - No, I was just watching over Father.  I'm Stevie by the way

[Dawn] I'm Dawn and this is my boyfriend Mort.

[Mort] Sticks out his bony hand in a friendly manner.

[Stevie] - Nice to meet you.  I'm assuming you've already met Lie and my asshole of a brother

[Dawn] Wow, that's a bit bitter. I mean, he's not the meanest person I've ever met by a longshot.

[Stevie] - He's killed me many times in the past

[Mort] But you got better I suppose?

[Stevie] - Er...  Maybe?  It's still kinda a fresh change for us right now

[Dawn] Either way, he's feeling romantic tonight. Him and Lie are likely making sweet love in the greenhouse.

[Stevie] - ...  I did not need to know that...

[Mort] Well he can't be all bad if his wife is happy, right?

[Stevie] - I know...  An I trust Lie...

[Dawn] You said something about your father? Is someone sick?

[Stevie] - Well...  He's not our actual father, but he's the closest we have.  He was a human like you, but he's transitioning to being digital.  He's just reached the most difficult part of it...

[Dawn] I'm not exactly human, but I'll take the mistake as a compliment. I take it there's nothing you can do to make it easier?

[Stevie] - We've already done what we can

[Dawn] It's just a waiting game at this point then, how long does it usually take?

[Stevie] - We don't know...  Nobodies ever gone through the process naturally.  Lie was turned into a brine so she wouldn't have to go through all the pain, otherwise we would probably know

[Stevie] Glances outside- Would you like me to set up some beds for the night?

[Dawn] Yes, that would be best, I understand there's a time difference between here and outside. We could likely stay a few days without worrying about the animals needing to be fed at our house.

[Mort] Not that our rooster doesn't protect the chickens anyway, they're pretty much free to come and go.

[Stevie] - Here, I'll set you up in the main room since Father is in the workroom- He leads them to the main room and tosses a couple of beds down over by the wall

[Dawn] Thank you Stevie. Is there anything we should know about the household in the meantime?

[Stevie] - Well...  Endrea should be coming back soon to rest, she also has a more human form as does Ashe...  There's a few critters that run around like a kitten and a vulpix which may come and snuggle you in the night...  Don't go across that little bridge over there, it just leads to Lie and my brothers room

[Dawn] I'll keep that in mind, and we love animals, so it's okay. - She sits down on the bed and Mort joins her.

[Stevie] - Well if you wake up early enough, there are plenty of animals outside which will be hungry

[Hope] Comes trotting into the room-

[Dawn] Happy to help, we're used to farm work.

[Mort] I won't really sleep anyway. I'll take care of it.

[Dawn] Oh, what a sweet little kitten. - She scoops up the little cat and puts her on the bed to pet her.

[Hope] Purrs and rolls around-

[Stevie] - That's Hope, the newest addition to this household.  I'll still be here until brother comes back in to watch Father.  And then I'll probably be back in the morning to switch with him

[Dawn] He must be proud of both of his dutiful sons.

[Stevie] - Yeah...  Well, I won't keep you up any longer, if something happens in the night I'm just down the coast in the bi colored house

[Mort] Duly noted. Goodnight Stevie.

[Stevie] - Night- He heads back down to the workroom to sit with Notch

[Mort] Sets on the corner of the bed with his legs folded and starts to meditate.

[Dawn] Lays down and is soon snoring lightly beside him.

[Hope] Crawls into Mort's lap and settles down there-

[Mort] Good kitty.

[Splender] Is walking back to his house still carrying pinwheel and humming rather happily-

[Alexsezia] Was checking on the horses and notices the bundle in his hands. - Splender?

[Splender] - Oh!  Evening Alex!

[Alexsezia] Good evening, hey, whatcha got there? Is there a chicken version of the Jeb sheep now?

[Splender] - It's my baby dragon!

[Alexsezia] Aww, it's so fluffy! Newborn I guess?

[Splender] - Yes!  And very deadly...

[Alexsezia] Oh it has teeth already?

[Splender] - Born with them...  And venom...  It bit Gem earlier today...

[Alexsezia] Oh dear... is she, okay? I saw the death message earlier. I figured she just had an accident.

[Splender] - She is now

[Pinwheel] Hisses angrily and lunges at a flitter which is going by-

[Alexsezia] Notices - I think someone needs an attitude adjustment. Do they have the water allergy?

[Splender] - We're not sure.

[Alexsezia] You should find out as soon as possible. If they don't I'd suggest a squirt bottle for that random biting. If so, then a rap on the nose will have to do.

[Splender] - Okay!- He perks a little and then smiles- Oh good!  Brother is better!

[Alexsezia] Well that's good to hear. It's always hard when family members are ailing.

[Splender] - That means Sally and EJ can go home!- Starts heading for home

[Splender] Quickly reaches home- EJ!  Sally!  It's time to go!

[EJ] - About fucking time!- He moves quickly to make sure everything is packed away

[Sally] - We can go back to Papa?

[Splender] Nods- Yes, so let's go!- He makes an opening and Sally takes his hand.  Splender sends out a mental burst to Doc- I'll be back soon!  Taking EJ and Sally home!- The slender being then leads the two through while still carrying the dragon and closing the opening behind him

[Doc] Barely hears Splender in the haze of sleep. Xe's warm and curled with hir mate and baby. Hir overlong body is vibrating with happy purrs.

[Deer] Nuzzles Doc in her sleep, making sure Yaunfen is safely between their two bodies-

[Doc] Happy snnnrk-

[Deer] Sends out a small pulse of energy to keep the mobs at bay-

[Yaunfen] Little sleepy squeaks-

-Le little bit of time passes-

[Lie] She and CP enter the house and find Stevie-

[CP] - The hell are you doing here?

[Stevie] - Well one of us has to watch Father

[CP} Groans-

[Lie] - We'll take it from here Stevie, go home.  Alexis is probably missing you

[Stevie] - I'll be back in the morning to watch Father again

[Lie] - Thank you

[go-redgirl]

Democrats Face Identity Crisis In Next Phase of 2020 Race Associated Press ^ | September 3, 2019 | Steve Peoples

Doug Ogden doesn’t know what to do.

The 75-year-old retired law enforcement officer is disgusted by President Donald Trump. But he can’t imagine voting for a Democrat in 2020, either. A self-described independent in South Carolina, Ogden doesn’t recognize the modern-day Democratic Party.

“The state of the Democratic Party is wild against wilder,” says Ogden, standing with his arms crossed at a recent town hall meeting for Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg. “It scares me.”

At the core of Ogden’s concern is a broader question about the direction of the Democratic Party and its values in the age of Trump. While Democrats are united in their fierce opposition to the Republican president, most party leaders agree that Democrats will not reclaim the White House simply by running against him; they must give people something to vote for.

But nine months into the first year of the 2020 campaign season, Democrats are no closer to resolving the big questions dividing their party by race, generation and ideology than they were on the day of Trump’s inauguration. And as the campaign enters a new heightened phase after Labor Day when far more voters begin paying closer attention, there is increasing pressure on Democrats to answer the questions behind their extended identity crisis. …

(Excerpt) Read more at apnews.com

____________________________________________________________

INDIVIDUALS/COMMENTS/POSTS:

To:

Olog-hai

The 75-year-old retired law enforcement officer is disgusted by President Donald Trump

The article seems to make little effort to explain the disgust. I guess the media expects people to nod like sheep and say "Of course. All decent people are disgusted by him."

(If White Privilege is real, why did Elizabeth Warren lie about being an Indian?)

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To: Olog-hai

there is increasing pressure on Democrats to answer the questions behind their extended identity crisis. … What Identity crisis? Democrats hate America, Americans, Freedom, Liberty,.. and anything that doesn't require their approval first. They have always been and still are all about Racism and gaining Power and Control over their fellow man. 5 posted on 9/3/2019, 10:24:19 AM by eyeamok

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To: Olog-hal

.."retired law enforcement officer is disgusted by President Donald Trump."

If only these news reports would ask "why are you disgusted with Trump".? I would like to know how these people think. Always good to know your enemy.

posted on by mosaic wolf /3/2019, 10:24:30 AM

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To:eyeamok

Antifa, the latest terror arm of the democrat party, likes to use this chant.

“No border, no wall! No USA at all!”

I think that cristalizes the democrat party platform perfectly.

8posted on9/3/2019, 10:26:53 AM by Westbrook(Children do not divide your love, they multiply it)

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To: Olog-hai

What exactly is he disgusted with regarding Trump?

He would do well to stop listening to the garbage media.

Here’s a guy who is retired LE toying with the idea of voting for the most anti-cop party in history. He should be disgusted with himself.

9posted on 9/3/2019, 10:27:46 AM by head stamp 2(There's a stairway to heaven, but there's a highway to hell.)

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To: Olog-hai

The democrat party is people who don’t so sex the right way, have chopped off some organs, hate this country, are plotting to destroy this country, want to take money from Whitey, want to eliminate Christianity, want to seize private property, want to suppress free speech, want to take guns from non-violent people, and want to eliminate the borders.

posted on9/3/2019, 10:29:46 AMbyI want the USA back(The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. Orwell.)

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To:Olog-hai

As far as identity and issues, the Democrats have decided to take the most extreme positions on everything.

On immigration, or illegals, they favor open borders.

They favor socialized medicine.

They all favor extreme measures to fight the alleged crisis of global warming. The only nuance is how far any Democrat will go in the extreme actions they want to take.

They favor abortion up to the date of birth; they oppose any restrictions.

They want to ban all guns from law abiding people.

They want 70% tax rates, to be “fair”. Everything is “unfair” to them.

They want reparations for slavery. They say they are just wanting to have a study of the subject, but that is the camel’s nose in the tent. There’s no way some commission studying slave reparations will come back and recommend that NO actions be taken.

Pick some other issues, and I’m sure you will find Democrats at the most extreme left end of that issue.

11posted on9/3/2019, 10:29:47 AM by Dilbert San Diego

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To: eyeamok

The Democrat party is about hate.

This cycle its hate of Trump. No policy, solutions, nothing. Just hate of Trump in the final analysis.

12posted on9/3/2019, 10:30:09 AM byheadstamp 2(There's a stairway to heaven, but there's a highway to hell.)

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To: Olog-hai

If you want to live in a country that looks like San Francisco - with thousands pooping in the streets, living in tents on sidewalks, dropping needles everywhere... (Yes, San Francisco where white liberal elites step over the drug addicted bodies of lost souls...and encourage violent illegals) then vote democrat.

If you want to live in hellholes like Newark , Detroit, the South Side of Chicago, and most of Baltimore - - with leaded water, vast corruption, daily murders and shootouts - vote democrat...

If you want to live in a sane country without illegals working under the table pulling down wages, without PC insanity, without idiots thinking plastic drinking straws are the biggest danger to the 'earf' - then vote Republican.

25posted on9/3/2019, 10:56:39 AMbyGOPJ

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To: Amendment10

PDJT is successfully draining desperate Democrats out of the swamp.

And exposing them for their true agenda -- which was hidden in the past.

Biden, Warren, Harris, Spartacus. They would never tell you their true policies until Trump came along and teased it out of them.  Every one of them is now exposed to be as Communist and wacko as Crazy Bernie and the Squad.

Go President Trump!

30 posted on9/3/2019, 12:37:06 PM by pocono pundit (Will Kamel Harass pay reparations? Her ancestors were black Slave Owners in Jamaica.)

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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...

The 75-year-old retired law enforcement officer is disgusted by President Donald Trump. But he can’t imagine voting for a Democrat in 2020, either.

IOW, the Associated Press' partisan media shill Steve Peoples is trying to push the idea that, if only the Pubbies would dump President Trump, a whole bunch of disaffected Demwits would immediately support the Republican Party.

Thanks Olog-hai.

31posted on9/3/2019, 12:49:15 PMbySunkenCiv(Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)

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[briefboutsofmadness-blog]

Thoughts on Doctor Who’s Season 10 finale

Hi guys,

Now, the season finale of Doctor Who was last week, and I’m still very much in two minds as to whether I liked it or not and, more importantly, whether or not it was a fitting, suitably epic episode for Peter Capaldi’s doctor. Here are some of my thoughts on it. (Spoilers, obviously).

To begin with, let me clarify: whilst I am a BIG fan of Capaldi’s doctor, I feel his legacy and impact has been somewhat dampened by Steven Moffat’s hugely hit-and-miss writing. His stand-alone episodes in the earlier series of the revival were outstanding, yet somehow after being given free reign on every episode, the quality has quite dramatically slipped. Though I haven’t brought myself to watch every episode in the latest series yet, I happened to catch ‘The Lie of the Land’, and I don’t think I’ve ever had such a strongly negative reaction to a Doctor Who episode (it’s usually just disappointed indifference). To put it simply, Moffat can be both a wonderful and an awful writer, it’s just the luck of the draw as to which one it is.

Having said that, the penultimate episode of the series, ‘World Enough and Time’, was genuinely incredible. The Master’s role in the episode was genius, as was his reveal (though can you imagine if the news that John Simm was returning hadn’t been leaked, and we had fully managed to experience that mind-blowing moment when he reveals himself? The Doctor Who fanbase, myself included, would have most likely imploded), and though I was sceptical at first about bringing John Simm back and potentially sullying his legacy, I was pleasantly surprised. The concept of the episode was truly original, it was funny, sad, and most importantly SCARY. Ever since Tennant’s episodes in the parallel universe, I have been terrified of the Cybermen, and this episode both justified and rejuvenated that childhood nightmare for me. It was suspenseful, disturbing (the patient pressing the ‘pain’ button still haunts me, as does the grotesque gradual change in the masks), and echoed episodes like ‘The Empty Child’ which, in my opinion certainly, is how Doctor Who should be. Truly one of my favourite episodes to date.

Following on from this masterpiece, I had high hopes for the finale and, indeed, it did start off promising. Well, sort of. The first section was a little bit tired and clichéd, down to the rousing “everything’s sorted” music, the ‘resolution-that’s-not-really-a-resolution’ trope that’s so overused within the show, and the unusually common location of a rooftop. However, it did get better. Again, sort of. The use of the “sort of” Cybermen as scarecrows who regularly attack the cluster of human survivors was scary, though it both blatantly copied the Scarecrows in Tennant’s ‘Family of Blood’ episodes, and was never really explained fully as to why they were there, so it seemed a bit lazy (though please do correct me if they did explain it and I missed it).

“Borrowing” plot points from other episodes, even other writers, seems to be an unfortunate recurrence for Moffat (honestly, don’t even get me started) and, sadly, this episode was no exception. One can’t help but wonder how much “inspiration” he took from Matt Smith’s last episodes which, as I recall, also contained a defeated Doctor essentially sacrificing himself to save a group of humans from Cybermen (though I could be wrong). In this sense, the episode truly was disappointing, as is what you would expect from borrowing from an episode that was a disappointment in the first place. Capaldi truly has been an iconic doctor, despite unfortunate writing, and so to have his penultimate episode dare I say ruined by Moffat’s sloppy writing is such a shame.

The end section was not great either. Bill’s ending was heartbreaking, and her collapsing next to the doctor, both truly defeated, was a powerful image. However, then Moffat pulled something that had a vaguely ‘deus ex machina’ feel to it. Though we had already been introduced to Heather (or rather, the form of Heather taken by the episode’s monster) in the first episode of the series, her reappearance in the form of a solution for Bill’s apparently inevitable death felt clumsy and forced, which is so disappointing. Let me tell you, I have absolutely loved Bill’s character (despite, as with Capaldi, the subpar writing), as she almost acted as a detox to Clara’s intense characterisation with her refreshing attitude to life and the situations she found herself in. Bill being gay, too, also added a completely new dimension to her character which both brought the show into the present, but also eliminated any chance of the wonderful friendship between herself and the doctor to be distorted by romantic notions (not that I’m against that trope being used at all, it was just a seldom used, interesting perspective on the doctor/companion relationship). And as much as I’m happy Bill ended up happy (and alive) with Heather, it just felt so forced and an unlikely, ridiculous solution to her situation. It’s not even that it was terrible, it’s that Bill was such a wonderful character (and should have stayed for more than one series), and her transformation into a primitive Cyberman was so heartwrenching and painful to watch, for it to be resolved in a matter of minutes was anti-climatic. All I’m saying is: Bill deserved better.

(Quick side-note: Bill would NEVER have left the Doctor’s dying body by itself in the Tardis. She just wouldn’t have, it’s entirely out of character.)

All the negative aspects aside, there were some good, even great, parts of the episode, Bill being one of them. Pearl Mackie has done just such an incredible job of playing Bill, and I will be sad to see her go. This episode, along with the previous one, was certainly stand-out for her, with the heartbreaking revelation that Bill did not see herself as a Cyberman, and so could not understand why people were scared of her. This may have been the most cruel and disturbing twist of the story arc, and I LOVE it. This puts everything we thought we knew about the Cybermen into question, and for once among multiple instances of Moffat attempting and failing at this, it works! It adds a whole new perspective on their behaviour; does every Cyberman see itself as pre-transformation? Regardless, aside from the hiccup that was her ending, Bill was excellent this episode and one of its saving aspects.

As with Mackie, Capaldi was excellent once again in this episode. Regardless of your opinion on him, it cannot be denied that Capaldi puts everything into the character; he has been consistently intense and dark with brilliant sparks of insanity and wit, and his character will be sorely missed by myself and so many others. This episode was no exception. By being characterised as beaten down and defeated, ready to accept his fate even, he almost brought me to tears a few times, as it is such a tragic end for a doctor already plagued with the questionable actions of his past selves. Not much more to say about his performance really, except that it was excellent and tragic at the same time.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of the episode, as was expected, was Missy and the Master. Michelle Gomez has had a tough act to follow in terms of succeeding John Simm’s practically flawless Master, yet she managed to not only exceed everyone’s expectations as a character in her own right, but also had believable, exhilarating onscreen chemistry with Capaldi’s Doctor. Her insanity offsets his solemnity, and it’s been an absolute joy seeing the two of them share a screen. Another character who will be sorely missed. John Simm was predictably excellent, playing the Master as smug and cruel as ever. The interactions between the two of them was a standout, their conversations being wonderfully eccentric and evil. The Master attempting to hit on Missy was hilarious, and their taunting of the Doctor, as well as Missy’s internal struggle as to who to side with, was excellently carried out by Simm and Gomez.

That’s not to say, however, that there weren’t any problems with the masters. For one, there wasn’t nearly enough screentime of them, and I feel as though the opportunity to bring John Simm back has been wasted in this way. To really optimise the two appearing onscreen together, one can’t help but wonder whether the two-parter finale should have been a three episode saga, so as to create a full episode in the middle in which Gomez and Simm could have made the most of, as well as properly had fun with, their characters. The ending, too, in which they destroyed each other makes for a rather unsatisfying resolution to their roles, and for the Doctor to never know Missy’s decision to be on his side in the end is honestly quite cruel. Essentially, the two masters were brilliant, but there wasn’t nearly enough of htem.

So to summarise, despite all my moaning I did enjoy it. I can’t say that it was a great episode, or that it was a fully fitting ending for someone as incredible as Capaldi’s Doctor, but it was enjoyable to watch and had some excellent aspects, balancing out the negative aspects.

If you agree or disagree with anything I’ve said or would like to comment, I would love to hear from you, and I  hope you’ve enjoyed my little (!) ramble about the episode.

-P

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #138

“Damaged NOTCH, Mix's Power, Galvantula”

[Doc] Why not Mix? Did something happen to him?

[Doc] Wait, what about the block? Where do you want it?

[NOTCHAI] - Oh, along the back wall should be fine

[Mix] I think so. I can't find our signal at all. I could home in on it, but one day it just... Vanished. *The electricity seems to spark up as she says this, while she looks sadder

[Doc] Okay, - xe lays down the command block and adds a few lines of code to it. - You press this yellow button and it will call my phone. You can just talk into it.

[NOTCHAI] - Thank you

[Doc] You're welcome. Ah... you can't find your home seed. I see. Do you still know the numbers at least?

[Mix] There's nothing there. I don't know why, either.

[Doc] I'm sorry Mix. Do you think the maker deleted it?

[Mix] Possibly

[Doc] It might not have deleted your brine though, any chance you have anything that was his?

[Mix] My necklace, he helped make it. *Her hand goes up to her bare throat

[Mix] ... It's at my house though, I take it off so it doesn't explode from the electricity.

[Doc] Would you mind if I examined it at some point? It might still have something in it I could use to search for him.

[Endrea] Has put the babies in the pouch and now drags Ashe closer to her to clean him-

[Ashe] - Mama!

[Endrea] - Hush

[Mix] Um... As long as you don't break it, sure.

[Doc] I wouldn't dare. I just want to scan it for code traces.

[Doc] Oh, I just remembered something, want a cat tail Mix? - Xe holds up the weird plant with the red and white striped pods  - They taste really good.

[Ashe] Disgruntled noises as Endrea cleans him-

[RandomNOTCH] Stumbles past and snatches at the cat tail-

[Mix] Oh uh--- Huh..

[Doc] Lets him take one - Just eat the striped part. The leaves don't taste like anything.

[RandomNOTCH] Stumbles off muttering nonsense-

[Doc] Poor guy.... Wait... I wonder... - Pulls out hir phone. - Lj? Are you busy?

[LJ] Grumbles- What the fuck do you want?

[Doc] I have some very unbalanced people near me at the moment that could use your healing touch. I can bother BEN instead if you're busy though.

[LJ] - Must I?

[Doc] I have a few items on my person that might be of interest to you. And it would be appreciated.

[LJ] - Fiiiiiiiiiine...  Where are you?

[Doc] Inside one of BENs consoles. I'll have to go out of it and tp you to my location. Give me a minute. Is that okay?

[LJ] - Fine

[Doc] Excuses hirself for a moment and tp's Lj into the cage-

[LJ] His mouth is covered in frosting-

[Doc] Hands him a fabric square for his face- Just follow me please. - Makes a hole over the console and steps inside.

[LJ] Tosses the square away and grumpily follows-

[Doc] Oh hey, Lie made something fun from one of your candies - offers him a cat tail- Peppermint cat tail plants that grow candy.

[LJ] Chomps on it- Hmm, not bad

[Doc] If you want to give me some more types I can pass them along for a similar treatment. Though I found these on a modded seed- Shows him the literal red vines. - If you put them on a high spot they'll grow more of themselves, they taste like strawberry candy.

[LJ] - Interesting...- He spawns a handful of candy- Here you go

[Doc] Takes the colorful items gently, - thank you. This should be a fun project. -Xe's walkign them over to the NOTCHs as they talk-  You should have seen that crazy seed. The grass blocks were slabs of iced cake and all the food items were crusty with sugar crystals. I got an enderdragon egg from it, can't wait to see what hatches out it.

[LJ] - Sounds fun, what am I doing here?

[Doc] Well... we found a colony of damaged NOTCHAI's. They're harmless and most of them scared out of their minds. But some of them seem to be out of it mentally and I want to make sure theres no actual Insanity amongst them.

[LJ] Blows a raspberry at Endrea before popping a lollipop in his mouth- So long arm time, got it

[Doc] Be gentle okay, they only need a quick tap. Let me find the head one real quick and tell him so they don't freak out.

[NOTCHAI] Is helping another NOTCH make it's way to a bath

[Doc] Waits for him to get his fellow settled before addressing him. - I'd like to run a quick test on your fellows who are in mental distress, if you don't mind. This is my associate; Laughing Jack.

[LJ] Grins-

[NOTCHAI] Is a little unnerved- Are you sure about this person?

[Doc] Oh yes, he's a creepypasta but he's carrying an anti-virus I made to remove Insanity posessions. - Glances at Lj- He just has a weird sense of humor.

[LJ] Laughs and begins stretching his arms out, brushing against the NOTCH's in the room-

[Doc] Does some stepping to keep out of the way.

[NOTCHAI] - WHAT THE NETHER?!

[Doc] It's okay! A brief touch is all that's needed! It's a very easily transmitted anti-virus.

-A good chunk of the NOTCH's shriek in fear and dart around, one surprises those around him though as a full yell escapes his throat.  The lead NOTCH darts to that one's side-

[Doc] Is just watching to see if anyone actually needs help. - Of all the times not to have some of Lies calming flowers on me.

[LJ] Starts laughing again-

[Doc] Gives Lj a raised eyebrow- Somehow I thought you'd get a kick out of that.

-The one NOTCH is still screaming and thrashing-

[Doc] Runs over to check on him. - Easy, easy! You'e safe!

[NOTCHAI] - I don't know what's happening, he's always had such a bad case of shell shock that he's never talked!  Let alone screamed!

[Doc] Well, that's something at least. He might not have had full insanity, but at least he's aware of whats going on around him now.

[NOTCHAI] -  Are you sure that's a good thing!?

[Doc] I guess we'll know when he calms down. Let me try something. - Xe takes out a bit of redstone and charges it with hir static to make it glow. Xe holds it in front of the screaming man and moves it back and forth to catch his eye while murmuring soothing words.

-Continues to thrash in a blind panic, nearly hitting Doc in the face with an arm-

[Doc] Keeps trying, xe's good at staying out of reach from dealing with CP.

[LJ] Rolls his eyes and spawns one of his special candies, popping it into the AI's mouth

[Doc] Whoah... what was that?

[LJ] - Special candy~

-The AI starts calming down after a few moments-

[Doc] Roofies?

[LJ] - Something like that

[Doc] Sheesh. Well, that's very helpful either way. - Xe sits on the edge of the bed. - Feeling a bit better are we?

[AI] Still has a panicked look- They, they ganged up on me...  All three of them...

[Doc] Three? Geeze, were they brines or NOTCHs?

[AI] - B...  Brine, Steve, and Alex...

[Doc] Ah... Were they the ones from your seed? Or invaders?

[AI] - M...  My seed

[Doc] I'm sorry. This whole thing is such a mess. It's the kind of situation where nobody wins.

[AI] - P...  Please, just let me die...  I'm so scared...

[Doc] Why do you want to die? You're safe here.

[AI] - It...  It's just too much...

[NOTCHAI] - He's one of the ones that the aggressive NOTCH's would target when they'd come to the other seed...

[Doc] Growls- Well it's not going to happen here. They'd have to get through the outer firewall, find the hidden room that contains the doorway to this place and figure out how to get inside first.

[NOTCHAI] - Which I'm grateful for.   Just leave this one to me for now

[Doc] If you think that's best. Just, bolster them up, don't let them lose hope. I don't want them to just be cowering in a hole. There's plenty of sunshine to be enjoyed.

[NOTCHAI] - I'll do my best

[Doc] Pats his shoulder- Good man.

[LJ] - Oi, are we done yet?

[Doc] Yes, I think so. - Oh, this might be of interest as well, you guys are welcome to share it too. - Xe takes out some of the spongecake blocks and gives one to LJ and holds out the others for the AIs- Same seed. The End was made of really airy cake. Isn't that a hoot?

[LJ] Immediately starts eating-

[NOTCHAI] - I'll pass it around onec I've got this one settled

[Doc] I'll leave you to it then. -smiles- Just call if you need me.

[NOTCHAI] - I will do so

[Endrea] Has finished washing Ashe-

[Doc] Heads back out with Lj following hir. Xe walks near Mix - Mix have you met Lj yet?

[Mix] Huh? Oh, uh.. No, I don't think so?

[LJ] - You're tiny- pats the top of her head only to yelp as he gets shocked

[Doc] Hahah, Lj! Whoah!

*A pained hiss escapes her as she jerks away from LJ, and her glowing seems to double. She seems to be in pain.

[LJ] Laughs as well- Well that's a fun little trick

[Doc] She's got a lot of excess energy right now. Mix! Do I need to drain you again?!

[Mix] Yyyessss *She has her hand on her chest, curled slightly inward on herself as the zapping electricity leaks out

[Endrea] Perks in concern-

[Doc] Quickly transforms and swirls around her to hump the brine up in hir coils before sucking at the electricity coming out of her.

*Unlike the first time, there seems to be force behind the electricity, not simple leaking

[Mix] T-thanks? Why does it-- hurt so much now? Usu-ually it's gradual

[Doc] Lets the Joltick join hir at trying to drain the glowing brine-

[Joltick] Is shaking as it drinks from Mix.

*Slowly it comes to an end, and Mix is breathing heavily and looking very tired. Her chest and back glow dully before winking out to leave her plain and not glowy

[Joltick] Freezes and starts to glow-

[Doc] Looks panicky-

-Theres a bit of midi fanfare and the Joltick disappears in a ball of light and emerges a lot bigger and more ornate looking -Joltick has evolved into Galvantula!-

[Doc] What the fuck?!

[LJ] - Huh, it evolved

[Doc] It's supposed to do that?!

[Galvantula] Buzzu rrrpzz buzip.

[Mix] ...Cute...

[Doc] Oh, okay... you scared the Nether out of me!

[LJ] - Can we go now?

[Galvantula] Purrs against Doc's head. - It's nearly the size of a minecraft spider now.

[Doc] Just a sec! Mix? Are you okay How do you feel?

[Mix] Kinda.. funny actually.. Super tired.

[Doc] Do I need to take you home?

[Endrea] - Perhaps we should head back, let you rest...

[Mix] Yeah.. Don't think I can.. walk. Sorry.

[Doc] Rolls around a bit so Mix is over hir shoulders before standing up. - Okay, we'll go then - xe makes a portal and holds it open for them to come through as well before closing it again.

[Endrea] Stretches her wings- I think we'll give Lie and CP some more room and visit GK

[Ashe] -Uncle GG!  Uncle GG!

[LJ] Just starts floating off-

[Doc] Lj? Wait up. Actually. Could I get you to take Mix home since you're going that way anyhow.

[LJ] - What do I get out of it?

[Doc] Cocks hir head- What do you want?

[LJ] - What do you have to offer?

[Doc] I don't really know what you like, I think you don't know what you like either. Apart from sweets and scaring the crap out of people. Heh.

[Mix] -Softly- My chest hurts..

[LJ] - Then why don't you tell me where my circus is

[Doc] Oh, Mix... Here- Xe summons a healing potion from the creative and presses the bottle to her lips.

[Doc] And Lj, it's not a secret. It's just down to coast a bit, I can show you easily but directions alone might get you lost.

[LJ] Sighs- Fine, I'll take the shorty back to where ever they go

*Mix drinks the potion and lets out a noise of relief

[Mix] Thanks..

[Doc] You're welcome Mix, here; have a couple- Xe takes the bottles and lobs them lightly so they go into Mix's inventory-  LiJ? Just come find me when you're done and I'll show you where it is, gladly. Heck, I'll help you lug your stuff if you want to take some of it to my house. Or hook you up with suplies if you want to stay there instead.

[LJ] - Whatever- He easily picks Mix up and flies off with her

[Doc] Settles into a loaf pose to examine the Galvantula- Damn you got big. I'm gonna miss you riding in my hair.

[Galvantula] Scuttles up onto the dragons neck and hugs around their throat-

[Doc] Yeah, love you too.

[Endrea] Looks at Lie's animals- I don't think Lie's animals have been tended to yet today...