#i am currently in pain
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when i look up 'heart burn relief', it means i already HAVE heart burn, I am not trying to prevent it, I am trying to RELIEVE it 😭😫❤️🩹
#heartburn#comic#these fuckass ads#i need RELIEF#not life solutions#i am currently in pain#i can work on my lifestyle stuff LATER#when i am OUT OF PAIN#this is not an ad#this is not a 'how to' guide for your own life#this is purely a comic based on a thing that happened to me personally#heartburn SUXS#i know what to do but i was looking to see if anything had changed#it has not#tums water and gasX for me since sometimes it is trapped gas#again#this is NOT medical advice#this is a personal anecdote#/rambling#hate it when i search for something and it's all ads#cant even find the next button
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My neurologist thinks my sinus pressure is very likely migraines - it turns out that if you have a sinus headache and no infection, it's far more likely to be a migraine (like 95% of cases) despite the atypical presentation. It would certainly explain the light sensitivity that comes with it. Imagine if you had extreme congestion behind your nose but zero mucus and in fact were too dry. Apparently that's migraine stuff.
Anyway I'm holding on to this in the wake of my prescription (which I can't pick up until Monday):
Now just to have the mri and settle everyone's nerves about the essential tremor and neurological bullshit. It doesn't have to be anything but we'll at least know.
#Please please#Chronic-les#I am currently in pain#It's not big pain but it's constant never ceasing and taking a toll#Also fuck the friend who got defensive and said there's no way I have migraines#Just because she has them in the more typical fashion#Basically told me I was trying to feel special/self dx
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PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ | B. WAYNE
SUMMARY: You’re Bruce Wayne’s long suffering personal assistant. On a time crunch, you (re)teach him how to apply cologne.
NOTES: belligerent tension, Bruce is characterised more on the socialite side than Batman, though Batman is alluded to. Suggestive ending.
For all the years that you’ve been his PA, you’ve never quite understood the borderline hysteria surrounding Bruce Wayne.
The perils of having a pretty face and old money, you suppose; sex appeal sells, and the prestige of an established name and old money that lend him an air of modern-day Gilded Age aristocrat surely can’t hurt.
Not that it's of particular interest or importance to you; you're a member of the hoi polloi through and through.
The closest to celebrity you've ever come is being mistaken as Bruce’s latest paramour in some of your more extravagant efforts trying to prevent his sartorial and interpersonal disasters before they happen.
Speaking of which; as he goes to apply his cologne, you drop the lint roller you're passing over his broad shoulders and the elegant lines of his Kiton suit and grab his wrist before he can douse himself in the strong scent, aghast.
“You’re not putting cologne on like that, surely?”
Bruce quirks a dark eyebrow. "Unless you're expecting me to break the bottle over my head, sweetheart, there's not really another way to apply cologne."
“I am choosing to ignore that nickname, because unlike you, I am a consummate professional.” You inform Bruce, tone somewhere between haughty and resigned. “I know you know how to wear cologne. Mr. Pennyworth is the gentleman’s gentleman, there’s no way he didn’t teach you.”
“Oh, Alfred gets Mr. Pennyworth, but I get Bruce?”
“Mr. Pennyworth doesn’t tear loaned formal wear, disappear at inoppurtune moments, or make a tit of himself at networking events.” You huff. “You, however…”
Bruce chuckles, all baritenor delight at your insouciance towards him.
You roll your eyes.
Spray some on your wrists and dab them together, then come here and loosen your tie."
“Not that I'm not flattered, but I really don’t think we've got the time." He teases, daubing the cologne on his wrists, long fingers of his unoccupied hand working the Windsor knot of his tie loose.
Immune to his affected charm through long exposure, you sigh.
“Keep it in your trousers, Bruce. Tonight, you're learning how to wear cologne properly, again. Do you mind if I unbutton your collar?"
Bruce hums a permissive note, gaze hawkish as you step into his personal space.
“Right. So, as you already know, you want to put cologne at the pulse points on either side of your neck; your body heat will help the alcohol carrier agent evaporate faster. If you're using a lighter fragrance or a perfume oil, you'd put it behind your ears." You explain.
As you speak, you pluck the bottle of fragrance from his grasp with your unoccupied hand, and spritz his neck with it, swapping hands to hold his collar away and do the same the other side of his neck.
Finally, you spray the base of his neck; the mist of cologne gathers into a single small droplet that traces down into the hollow of his suprasternal notch.
“(All done.” You announce, stepping back.
Bruce buttons up his collar, works the silk of his tie back into a Windsor knot with infuriating ease.
“I still think it would have been less fuss to just spray it on over the fabric.”
“Lazy. Just be thankful you don't have to do your ankles." You say as you turn to put the bottle back on the dark oak of his dresser.
Heinously late, cognition kicks in, and the realisation of what you’ve just said strikes you like a thunderbolt. You close your eyes briefly, hoping against hope that Bruce’s more airheaded tendencies have kicked in, and the context has flown over his head.
When you finally steel yourself enough to turn back to face him, you find that the universe has not been so merciful; Bruce is staring at you, a wicked glee in his expression.
"Anyway! That’s specifically to perfume." You obfuscate. "The car is probably out front by now; if you're done, let's head out."
“No, no; you’re going to explain that delightful little tidbit before we go anywhere.”
Heat floods your face.
“You clearly know exactly what I meant. Let it go, it was a faux pas.”
Bruce says your name in a low rumble.
You parrot his name back at him in a faintly beseeching tone, begging him not to choose this moment to be a petty tyrant.
Bruce’s response is to raise an expectant eyebrow.
The standoff lasts as long as it takes you to check your watch, your resolve fracturing at the first hint of threat to your meticulously crafted schedule.
“Fine!” You snap, stepping close and dropping your voice to a murmur, to minimise the odds of anyone overhearing the frankly mortifying disclosure.
“You spray perfume on your ankles so that when you've got them over your partner's shoulders, they'll associate the perfume with you."
A faint flush floods the high planes of Bruce’s cheekbones, even as his smile turns gloating and distinctly carnivorous.
C Caught up in your own humiliation, you push past him, out of the dressing room, and quite miss the way his eyes trail down your legs to where the jut of your ankle bone is emphasised by your heels, and the considering smirk that his mouth pulls into as he follows you.
#marley.txt#yes I have been gone for like. ever. in my defence I am currently having some Super Awesome OCD symptoms#and also I have had RSV and it has kicked my arse#also ongoing chronic pain#anyway! come get y’all fanfic sorry it’s shite#bruce wayne x reader#batman x reader#dc x reader#batman x you#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne fanfiction#bruce wayne fluff#batman fanfiction#batman fluff
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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
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Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.
#dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#laios touden#kabru#izutsumi#Before anyone mistakes this as mischaracterization: The joke here is that it's ambiguous what the hell he means.#Kabru does love getting into fights a bit more than average but he's mostly here for the drama.#I screenshot the scene of him going 'The dark arts!' with a little smile everytime I re-read dungeon meshi. He's so catty. I love him.#And shout out to Izutsumi for adding fire to the drama. Girl said 'I am the listener. I heard that shit.' and refused to apologize.#Joke two: the deep cut - Welcome to more propaganda for whatever the hell is going on between Laios & Shuro & Kabru.#Laios trusting Shuro with some *heavy* information because he admires him so much! And wants to be his friend so badly!#Kabru also has another great character moment when he immediatly clocks Laios as not being as malicious as expected.#We love a character who can put the clues together! It is such a good subversion of what role we think Kabru is to play in this story!#Now he's eager to befriend Laios - who is barely interested and currently trying to befriend Shuro - who is barely interested and...well.#The painful triangle of people trying to get to know the other person better and being rejected...Friendship triangle.#We have all had a friendship triangle situation before. Right? You guys have also struggled to read people. Right?#Laios is universally relatable. Right?
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If your parents didn’t know how to hold you, you develop the mind you hold yourself with, so you find safety in this mind that you created. So the human mind, the ordinary egoic mind, is basically a defensive structure. It’s, in significant ways, a response to pain, it’s designed to keep you from experiencing pain, it’s worried and anxious and it’s defensive, so when it comes to change and vulnerability the mind wants to defend against it. It comes out of fear, which comes out of childhood experience where the pain that you had wasn’t held, and therefore you develop these mind structures to keep you from experiencing it, and one of them is clearly addiction.
— Dr. Gabor Maté
#i love this man and his mind so much..........he has helped me so much#this is from jay shetty’s podcast btw it's on youtube#i am in gabor maté lockdown currently i literally can not stop listening to him#gabor maté#on pain#important#m
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@netflix
#im going insane#netflix please#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives season 2#edwin paine#charles x edwin#starfruitsomething#my art#digital art#netflix#this show is the most amazing thing-#I cant even put into words how much I am in love with it#currently re watching it again#please im begging#charles rowland#the consequences are that I will cry#for a long time#dead boy detectives fanart#RenewDeadBoyDetectives
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Spoiler!
[ Send “SPOILER!” and I’ll send a spoiler about the storyline. (CLOSED) ]
Possessing the 1P nations can make the 2P nations pretty sick… consider it like an advanced, interdimensional form of jetlag. There’s a variety of side effects, and some are more unpleasant than others.
SYMPTOMS MAY INCLUDE NAUSEA, BODY ACHES, HOMESICKNESS, CONFUSION, HALLUCINATIONS, DISSOCIATION, HALLUCINATIONS, HALLUCINATIONS, HALLUCINATIONS
#hetalia#hws america#hws canada#2p america#2p canada#2p hetalia#ask#anonymous#ask meme answers#1p mention#i dont think ive ever shown them possessing their 1ps bfeore... anyway its a mess#2p ita has a really bad start but quickly regains control#meanwhile ame is so miserable and incapable that canada has to get sent in early to keep him from arousing too much suspicion#2p ame cannot act at all... so shameful#current order in my head is north ita then ame then canada... then others ig loll#the background text is:#not your office not your desk not even your job so why...?#not your body and not your blood and not your pain and not your body#✌✌#btw 2pcanada is saying dont mention it#wherethebuttercupsgrow#repetition#unreality#tw
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OK I apologise if you've already commented on this, but what was Laura's reaction to Alucard coming back with Seras? My gut reaction tells me she wouldn't be overly happy about it, but I'm not 100% certain and I figured it would be best to ask you given that you literally created her.
I've made a little comic about it a while back!
That said, Laura is never that simple so
#hellsing#my art#ask response#hellsing oc#my oc#laura chastel#alucard#seras victoria#walter c dornez#IM BACK#and I am in pain (it is currently 2:09 am)#she's such a Creature#Laura is so annoying#bc one day she's 'girls look out for girls' and the next day she's 'I will fucking Kill you if you look at me I do not know you'#absolute mess of a woman#on one hand she was a bit happy she wasn't gonna be the only woman in the organization beside Integra#but also. new person#technically related to Alucard? tiny Alucard?#cause for alarm#yes her and Walter gossip
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Do you ever have that feeling where, despite your distance with your religion, there's still moments where sparks of what you were bought up with, return?
I'm from a religious family, but I'm not in touch with my own religion. Yet there's me calling in the name of the Lord before and after I eat. It's like this lingering piece that I never turn to look at but somehow slips into my ordinary life.
I don't really know you that much, or your religious status. But seeing your religious talks made me want to bring this up.
I don't even know if I make sense here- just- ignore this if you want to, I don't know.
Hmmm I think so. My whole thing with it is really complicated haha. I still go to church every Sunday, though I prefer doing volunteer work with the kids over listening to the sermon. I pray before I eat out of habit. I find myself quoting the bible more often than I open to read it (though this is changing because of all the times I look for references lol). There's a resentment that I get whenever it's brought up, especially around my family. I find myself immediately on guard the minute it becomes subject of conversation. Sometimes at night I'll pace around and just talk. I don't know if I'm talking to myself or to god or whoever but. I'll talk. I think I still believe in him. I definitely believe that there's something out there. I don't think the question is of belief as much as it is of care. Do I care enough to try?
I'll say this though. Whatever I'm doing right now has gotten me to think more about bible and religion than I have in the past few years. So. That's fun! Who knew trying to explore something your own way instead of the way forced onto you by your environment gives your room to feel everything out without any preexisting pressure?
#wolfy tedtalks#anon#wolfy religious tedtalks#i have a theory#and that theory is any time some vaguely catholic holiday rolls around jesus bitch slaps me into being more religious than i currently am#first it was during easter#and now all saint's day is rolling around soon#or maybe its my period#side effects may include#nausea. fatigue. back pain. resurgence of religious belief coupled with complicated thoughts of compartmentalized trauma. cramps. mood swing
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why does Vaggie take Drugs?
Ooof... this is a doozy! Get ready for depressed Vaggie/Valerie! CHAGGIE HUMAN AU LES GO
(Tw: massive talk about drugs n smokin! Like- its literally the main focus 😭)
Valerie used to smoke just to fit in with her friends Adam and Lute, plus the "exterminators" (which I will get into I think next request eheheh 😈). But now that they had a fall out with eachother, she relies on them heavily for other means. She has grown to use them for her anxiety(which, yes, she does have anxiety. It's hell, me and her are twins), although she has become SUPER reliant on them that she goes to any means to get them. Like going to the secret drug dealer that is Anthony(Angel Dust by most). Since he's pretty much everywhere and nowhere at all times, it's like if she wants drugs he is immediately there. It's creepy but it gets the job done I guess.. 😭
(He 100% cares and worries about her. Like, he loves when they talk and tease eachother, they have like a little sibling thing going on and he genuinely thinks of her like a little sister. Maybe cos his sister is dead but like let's move on from that right 😍)
Charlie HATES drugs. Not even hates, she DESPISES them. She tries to get Valerie to stop, but to no avail of course. Despite their differences, Charlie attempts to fit in with her.
It obviously goes to crap. Girl CANNOT and WILL NOT use that "devils dandruff" 😔🙏
(Wym girly- ignore the first image 😍 I just want to go for a peaceful vibe in their "friend" ship. Like they go to the mall, go get ice cream, get in trouble even if Charlie doesn't want to. They are goals fr fr I think im gonna draw them doing random stuff. WHICH REMINDS ME! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM GO TO A PLACE PLSS REQUEST! I WANT TO SBB I WILL ANYWAY BUT LIKE- ANYTHING SPECIFIC IDC <3)
What DOES she not understand? Sure Valerie is at a rough time where she feels she has to rely on a substance to keep sane. But.... Charlie doesn't know that. She just simply doesn't know how to understand a person's feelings. Let alone her own.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel vaggie#vaggie#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel anthony#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel art#hazbin#hazbin art#hazbin hotel au#hazbin au#hazbin hotel human#hazbin human au#tw drugs#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#chaggie#rainbowmoth#varlie#vaggie x charlie#charlie x vaggie#im gonna make a tag for this au wait lemme cook#chaggie humanxdemon au#its long but it gets the job done#if you have any name suggestions pleaseee give so i can usee ill give credit <3#REQUESTS. I BEG. IM DESPERATE. I WANT. PEOPLE. TO BE INVESTED. LIKE I AM. IM CURRENTLY SO HYPERFIXATWD ON HAZBIN ITS PAINFUL#MAINLY CHAGGIE. I DONT GET IT. I CRY WHEN I HEAR MORE THAN ANYTHING REPRISE EVEN THO ITS MID. I LOVE IT. I LOVE CHAGGIE. STAN CHAGGIE 😍😍💜
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The real corporate men they don’t want you to know about
#i did this high on cough syrup#omniscient reader fanart#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#kimcom#orv art#i am still currently high on pain killers
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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i did it.. . .. the complete set. Our Rise!Turtles in bayverse-esque outfits.
Cobbling together their outfits through fragmented refs and bad lighting is ranking in my top 10 arm biting experiences (with love)
#also if anyone has ideas or requests for them i may....draw them#im currently unable to move during a flare up so i have time#donatello rottmnt#rottmnt#tmnt bayverse#tmnt 2018#rottmnt mikey#leonardo rottmnt#rottmnt raph#its more rise! wearing bayverse#i am in pain#khayas art
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Personally I imagine that Telemachus has his mom's hair color and eyes,, but he still creepily looks like Odysseus. So, naturally, I have to ask:
Do you think that Penelope sometimes flinced when she saw her son? Because he looks so much like her husband?? Like, he would pass down the hallway and greet his mother, and she would think it's Odysseus - a flicker of hope on her face, only to realize it's her son. And after a while Telemachus doesn't know if that brief drop of her face is disappointment because it's him or because it's not Odysseus.
Do you think Eurycleia sometimes openly cried when she looked at Telemachus?? Because he has the same slightly impish grin just like his father?? Just like the boy she raised so many years ago?? Do you think she unconciously scrubbed more thoroughly around his thigh? Telemachus would wince at the sudden roughness and Eurycleia would realize that he doesn't have that scar that needed more cleaning to make sure debris didn't get stuck in it??
Do you think that Eumaeus would rush out of his hut when he heard Telemachus laugh? Because, as he got older, even his voice started sounding a bit like his father's?? Only to abruptly stop when he realized that it's not his master??
Do you think that even Telemachus would stare at a bronze mirror or at his reflection in a puddle and try to see his father - the one he barely remembers - in his own reflection?? He would imagine himself broader, stronger, with a beard?? His mother told him that he got his hair and eyes from her. So he tries to imagine something else in their place. He doesn't know what he's even looking for or thinking about. Just something, anything to get a bare idea of a man that is his father.
And do you think that as years went on, others started seeing more and more Odysseus in him and less and less Telemachus in him? Even if it wasn't intentional? They treated him like his father. They would offer him the fruit his father loved. They would sometimes expect him to wield the weapons his father could. They would tell him how much he looks like his father. And Telemachus would simply smile in response. But over time it was a slightly pained smile. At first he prided himself for all of that, he wanted to know everything about his father. He wanted to know how much of his son he is. But he finds the fruit sour. His arms slightly tremble when he tries to string a bow (not necessarily The bow™).
Do you think that over time, even he started feeling less and less like himself? Do you think that subconciously he tried acting like his father (based on the stories he's heard)? For the kingdom's sake, for his mother's sake, for his own sake? After all, "son of Odysseus" was his main trait. He was haunted by the ghost of the man he doesn't even know. But he does know him, doesn't he? Everyone tells him just how much he is like his father. But what part of him is like his father?? What part of him is like his father? Everything he does, everything he is, is apparently an echo of his father. But what part is Telemachus? What part of Telemachus is like his father? Is he like his father or is he slowly becoming his father? His voice isn't his own. His skin isn't his own. Hell, the blood in his veins isn't his own. It's the blood of Odysseus. Is that who he is?? A replacement for the king?? A mere stand-in until he comes back?? If he comes back?? Will he always have to act, to be a copy of his father?? Will he ever be himself? But who is he even? Who is Telemachus? Yes, he is the son of Odysseus (as a way of identification). But who is simply Telemachus?
DO YOU THINK?
#the odyssey#telemachus#tagamemnon#greek mythology#quietly opens google docs#leave it to me to give any characters fucked up problems and crisises#what is wrong with me lmaoo i can't come up with fluff#once again me and my obsession with identity and self#and then losing your sense of self#“who am I? a direct descendant of odysseus? i never asked for that!” is the only thing i could think of while writing this hehe#i'll write this down COPIUM#currently taking a small break from drawing because of back pain#and i am suffering#this is what happens when i don't draw
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Day 79: happy birthday gay people
Also here's the lesbian flag colorpicked from the cg of Kanna and Kugie. The lesbian sisters.
#yttd#kanna kizuchi#a kanna a day#my post#pride month#i will post something better fro pride month promise 🙏 i am just in a lot of pain currently#also whiteboard coming soon get ready
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