#level control system
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At rest, your lungs wish to deflate, and your ribcage expands outwards.
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Friday the 13th!#This is scientific fact btw!#Ventilation operates through a series of active and passive forces#The active forces being muscular contraction with inhalation and exhalation having their own set of muscles.#but the interesting part is the passive forces at work:#The lungs have a certain level of elasticity to them - meaning the more they expand the more the those elastic forces are functioning-#-to try and return the system to rest (exhalation passive forces). Your diaphragm is the main force - pushing against the lungs at rest.#Your ribcage on the other hand is under a state of being pulled outwards. It *wants* to be as open as possible.#These to contradicting forces create a constant push and pull which assists in the ebb and flow of air. Most significantly with exhalation.#Now that being said - the primary action of inhalation ventilation is through control centers in your brainstem.#If you lose connection to that due to trauma you're going to need ventilation assistance.#Small note: Respiration is the cellular event of chemical exchange in the alveoli. Ventilation is airflow and pressure.#They are both important but also very different things. Sadly used interchangeably.#My anatomy nerd brain is screaming over the inaccurate ribcage...but its...recognizable. I will get it right one day.#Okay nerd rant over (I cut out a lot of stuff about pressure gradients. They are cool. To me.)#This is a redraw of an mspaint doodle I made back in april. I yearn to make the Yiling Laozu eerie as he deserves#Tear that bitch (affectionate) apart!#Been playing around with hatching for a while and its amazing how many styles there are! Not sure I'll stick with this one (but it was fun)
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sick of doing therapy breathing exercises, just hit me up with a oxygen tank + bicycle pump i have hypothesized a shortcut
#u want me to control my breathing?#bitch i'm about to harness control of my OXYGEN LEVELS#and work out my delts while i'm at it#u want me to influence my nervous system with purposefully therapeutic breathing patterns?#babe i'll do it but there's gonna be some external apparatus that is. how shall i put this.#unauthorized by my insurance provider.#HIGHLY unauthorized.
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shoutout to lan wangji and luo binghe for being endlessly tormented by their love interests' mixed signals, reaching their breaking point, and then proceeding to never be normal about their (always reciprocated) crushes (turned husbands) ever again.
#like obviously binghe and wangji are not on the same level. but they're certainly not opposites!#just got to wangxian's first kiss and like.#if my silly gay crush showered me in flowers and pointed out how pretty i was and always hung around me.#but then was like ''wow i love talking to boys don't you love talking to boys S?"#i would also be driven so insane as to just start punching trees#lan wangji epitome of control being pushed past his breaking point and hating himself for it . . . you are so dear to me#luo binghe driven absolutely batshit bonkers by his shizun who cares deeply for him and fears (or used to fear) the idea of him . . .#mm yes i'm connecting the dots. mxtx has a flavour she likes. i see i see#TBD on whether hualian fits into this nonsense at all but from what i've heard: not really#mdzs#rzfzx#svsss#scum villian self saving system#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#wangxian#bingqiu
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I get why nobody really asked about it considering Everything Else that happened in blue lock chapters 260-262 but what is kaiser's legal situation vis a vis ray dark and bastard münchen. does his father still have legal custody of him? it's possible that he's still kaiser's legal guardian but has in practice left him to be a ward of bastard münchen. but if that were the case wouldn't kaiser make some reference to it? kaiser very much conducts himself like an emancipated minor imo, and there's no indication that he's not getting every cent of that paycheck, and even an arrangement where his father is no longer physically in contact with him has potential for coercion (child prodigies are famously never financially exploited by their parents /s), as he needs to approve kaiser's status as (at some point) a working minor. but if he doesn't have custody of him, how did he lose it? by all accounts he has never given a shit about providing for kaiser, so it's possible he transferred custody over to someone else (and who would that be? ray dark? some third person who in practice will approve anything ray dark wants?) with no fuss, but it's equally likely that the guy who had been coercing kaiser into stealing from a young age to support them both would want to profit from his son's athletic career too. did ray dark have to sue? in which case kaiser's dad broke that bottle over his head in front of the police, so there's irrefutable evidence for a child abuse case, and they've got all the money of the bllkverse's fifa-analogue on their side too.
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#michael kaiser#this is all conjecture#personally I lean towards the emancipated minor interpretation because#(A) no way in hell would kaiser placidly accept his abusive father still having any level of control of his decisions.#so him not referring to it strongly indicates that nothing like that is happening#(B) thematically it would mesh with his whole thing about doing the impossible#(kaiser at least in his own mind puts himself at odds w/preestablished systems of power)#(one of which is the family and the associated dominance of adults over children)#(C) I just think it fits. that guy's behavior only makes sense if he signed his first lease at sixteen
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gang i need to write a young brad fic from zack’s perspective as an older sibling in an abusive household
#do you see my vision???#idk it’s mostly bc people catastrophically mischaracterize zack as an evil psychopath#i just think sibling relationships are more complicated than what people see on a surface level#espiecially with brad and zack considering they were clearly both vying for their father’s approval when they were younger#which would obviously carry over in a less literal sense in their self-perception and belief system#like i think the way both zack and brad remember/choose to frame the killing of kate as a case of unreliable narration for a few reasons#1. zack is trying to ‘gut’ the company and make jo see brad as weak which obviously leads him to exaggerate his ‘strength’/power#2. brad sees it as a moment of weakness that he is always trying to make up for which means he will remember the executor (zack) as#someone with power that is seemingly larger than life which is supported by the actions brad takes and his extreme paranoia surrounding zac#in breaking brad#this all leads to an inflated power imbalance imagined by both zack and brad but that i don’t think zack truly believes as a child who was#also raised in an abusive home#i think that every action he takes in the show (which are albeit very few) are vessels to reassert control for himself very much mirroring#how brad operates#anyyyways#the fic would be about how brad couldn’t kill kate and zack was begging him to do that their father wouldn’t get mad and eventually zack ha#to kill her for him#but because they’re children and siblings and scared zack switches gears and tells brad that he wasn’t strong enough to kill her and this i#what shapes their views and yadda yadda#brad bakshi#zack bakshi#mq#mythic quest
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someone tagged my Areelu post as "bg3", which is very funny to me. BG3 wishes it had a "villain" character as interesting as Areelu. She's a genius, she's a monster, she's a goddess. She did what a literal demon lord couldn't do and tore open a rift in the worlds. She tortured an angel for centuries. She caused the apocalypse. She became a demon, but answers to no demon lord. She experimented on the Commander and made them into a supernatural entity, setting the entire events of the entire game in motion. She's pulling the strings, she's watching without intervening. Oh, and she can turn you into a god. She's FASCINATING.
Anyways, this is your sign to go play Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous. I honestly enjoyed several parts of it even more than BG3.
#pathfinder: wrath of the righteous#p:wotr#areelu#areelu vorlesh#morrigan.txt#to be clear: no shade to bg3. I did enjoy that game. But P:WotR just has much more fascinating things going on in some ways.#(specifically the mythic levels and transformation system.)#plus I think it gets MAJOR props for the camera-spatial control in the Abyss alone. that's SUCH a cool mechanic.#also yk.. it's 1-20 PLUS 10 mythic levels.#bg3 could never#delete later
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#everything about how 1d meant the most to liam#they all said he was the one out of any of them who was actually a professional#he cared so much and it was his dream to be a famous musician since he was a kid#kinda a cruel twist of fate that he ended up being the least favorite of the 5 of them#and his solo career was the least successful by far…….#i can see how seeking fame and external validation is dangerous#because it’s so fickle.#idk I just think in comparison to someone like Harry who despite his crazy levels of fame seems more grounded#because he has a good support system. Like I think of Anne and Gemma#(not saying that Harry doesn’t struggle with fame and I’m sure his life is darker than we see)#but yeah#like the fact that Liam’s parents and especially his dad wanted this lifestyle for him too#it just seems like so much pressure and then for it not to be going well for him at all#for his record label to drop him#etc etc#who wouldn’t be messed up from that?#like I personally am the queen of unhealthy coping so maybe I can empathize more idk.#nothing excuses his abusive behavior but you can see how it all spiraled out of control#once you start misusing drugs and alcohol your life can get out of hand so quickly#and even the thing about his PR rep dropping him within the past few weeks#it seems like he had NO ONE looking out for him#and that is so scary.#liam payne
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o5 council consisting of just guys who either faked their way into the position or were coerced into it (by outside forces or their predecessors)
In a way isn't this every O5 Council
#Let's be real all pretending to this kind of power is in fact pretending#All of O5ver for sure both faked it 'til they made it on a thematic level or had literally no other path#Or both. Actually I think all of them did both#Either way there can be no legitimate way to get to this kind of position LMAO#Like who even are you#MEKHANE's most autistic soldier. Reality bender that doesn't want to be here. Some ''um actually'' ass nerd. An influencer with a coping#mechanism. A military reject. A nepo baby. A cosmic-level wet blanket control freak. An admin that can perform. A conspiracy theorist with#no friends. The Dewey Decimal System's most autistic soldier. A stray bureaucrat with a coping mechanism. A guy on the verge of getting his#medical license revoked. Time with a coping mechanism
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Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.
#okay so here’s the thing#QB and I have been doing lil activities online lately#which helps him with his stuff he has going on and helps me to not feel fucking lonely all the time#bc i had another hangout friend but I Very Much Screwed That Up Tee-Bee-Aych#so I’ve been late to most hangouts. i constantly have little issues pop up where I’m so sure I’ll piss him off#friday night like an hour into the hangout I went ‘idk how to say this but like i recgonize I’m being quiet and if you want me to talk more#please lemme know’ and he told me that he was having some worries attached to that so we talked things out and it was fine#ITS ALWAYS FINE#AND SOMETIMES THAT IS WHAT PUTS ME ON EDGE OR MAKES ME START FUCKING CRYING (off call) WHICH IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT BUT LIKE#LOOK I LOVE THAT HE’S PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING. ONLY OTHER PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THAT LEVEL OF CHILL IS MY ACTUAL PARTNER#BUT I’M SO FUCKING SURE THAT I WILL SCREW IT UP TERRIBLY. LIKE DISASTROUSLY.#SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? BECAUSE PART OF MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO JUST GHOST EVERYONE AND RUN AWAY#SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT LIKE#I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH QB AND WB AND BB AND I’M STRUGGLING SO HARD WITH THIS#like lowkey the thought of screwing up in the same way I always have is literally painful and my chest is killing me I just—#god I fucking hate this shit#can I get the stardew heart ranking system please?? so I know exactly where I stand all the time???#I don’t necessarily trust people to tell me what I’m doing wrong until it’s too late
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Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible
#I can't even describe it#Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right#I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time#I'm a system so that tells you a lot already#Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes#It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about#Let me try though#Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels#of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to#different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the#time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe#It's like trying to climb a slippery incline#I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too#Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been#negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface#We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like#[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us#for the right things.]
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Miranda: If we hack that control, every cell door on the block opens.
Garrus: It's the only way to get Jack out of cryo
Shepard: Now I've never designed a space prison before, but does it seem weird to anyone else that those two very, very different processes are controlled by the same one button? No? Alright, here we go then, I guess.
#mass effect#i love how video games can just tell you things and you accept it#like your comrades have told you the consequences of doing the thing you have to do to finish the level#but... why#why would these things be controlled on the same system much less by the same button#cannot overstate how different they are#turians should be banned from makinf space stations
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i have once more Read a Book !
the book was jim morris' cancer factory: industrial chemicals, corporate deception, & the hidden deaths of american workers. this book! is very good! it is primarily about the bladder cancer outbreak associated with the goodyear plant in niagara falls, new york, & which was caused by a chemical called orthotoluedine. goodyear itself is shielded by new york's workers' comp law from any real liability for these exposures & occupational illnesses; instead, a lot of the information that morris relies on comes from suits against dupont, which manufactured the orthotoluedine that goodyear used, & despite clear internal awareness of its carcinogenicity, did not inform its clients, who then failed to protect their workers. fuck dupont! morris also points out that goodyear manufactured polyvinyl chloride (PVC) at that plant, and, along with other PVC manufacturers, colluded to hide the cancer-causing effects of vinyl chloride, a primary ingredient in PVC & the chemical spilled in east palestine, ohio in 2023. the book also discusses other chemical threats to american workers, including, and this was exciting for me personally, silica; it mentions the hawks nest tunnel disaster (widely forgotten now despite being influential in the 30s, and, by some measures, the deadliest industrial disaster in US history) & spends some time on the outbreak of severe silicosis among southern california countertop fabricators, associated with high-silica 'engineered stone' or 'quartz' countertops. i shrieked about that, the coverage is really good although the treatment of hawks nest was very brief & neglected the racial dynamic at play (the workers exposed to silica at hawks nest were primarily migrant black workers from the deep south).
cancer factory spends a lot of time on the regulatory apparatus in place to respond to chemical threats in the workplace, & thoroughly lays out how inadequate they are. OSHA is responsible for setting exposure standards for workplace chemicals, but they have standards for only a tiny fraction—less than one percent!—of chemicals used in american industry, and issue standards extremely slowly. the two major issues it faces, outside of its pathetically tiny budget, are 1) the standard for demonstrating harm for workers is higher than it is for the general public, a problem substantially worsened during the reagan administration but not created by it, and 2) OSHA is obliged to regulate each individual chemical separately, rather than by functional groups, which, if you know anything at all about organic chemistry, is nonsensical on its face. morris spends a good amount of time on the tenure of eula bingham as the head of OSHA during the carter administration; she was the first woman to head the organization & made a lot of reasonable reforms (a cotton dust standard for textile workers!), but could not get a general chemical standard, allowing OSHA to regulate chemicals in blocks instead of individually, through, & then of course much of her good work was undone by reagan appointees.
the part of the book that made me most uncomfortable was morris' attempt to include birth defects in his analysis. i don't especially love the term 'birth defect'—it feels cruel & seems to me to openly devalue disabled people's lives, no?—but i did appreciate attention to women's experiences in the workplace, and i think workplace chemical exposure is an underdiscussed part of reproductive justice. cancer factory mentions women lead workers who were forced to undergo tubal ligations to retain their employment, supposedly because lead is a teratogen. morris points at workers in silicon valley's electronics industry; workers, most of them women, who made those early transistors were exposed to horrifying amounts of lead, benzene, and dangerous solvents, often with disabling effects for their children.
morris points out again & again that we only know that there was an outbreak of bladder cancer & that it should be associated with o-toluedine because the goodyear plant workers were organized with the oil, chemical, & atomic workers (OCAW; now part of united steelworkers), and the union pursued NIOSH investigation and advocated for improved safety and monitoring for employees, present & former. even so, 78 workers got bladder cancer, 3 died of angiosarcoma, and goodyear workers' families experienced bladder cancer and miscarriage as a result of secondary exposure. i kept thinking about unorganized workers in the deep south, cancer alley in louisiana, miners & refinery workers; we don't have meaningful safety enforcement or monitoring for many of these workers. we simply do not know how many of them have been sickened & killed by their employers. there is no political will among people with power to count & prevent these deaths. labor protections for workers are better under the biden administration than the trump administration, but biden's last proposed budget leaves OSHA with a functional budget cut after inflation, and there is no federal heat safety standard for indoor workers. the best we get is marginal improvement, & workers die. i know you know! but it's too big to hold all the same.
anyway it's a good book, it's wide-ranging & interested in a lot of experiences of work in america, & morris presents an intimate (sometimes painfully so!) portrait of workers who were harmed by goodyear & dupont. would recommend
#if anyone knows about scholarship that addresses workplace chemical exposure#& children born with disabilities through a disability justice lens please recommend it to me!#booksbooksbooks#have reached the point in my Being Weird About Occupational Safety era where i cheered when familiar names came up#yay irving j. selikoff champion of workers exposed to asbestos! yay labor historians alan derickson & gerald markowitz!#morris points out the tension between workers - who want engineering controls of hazards (eg enclosed reactors)#& employers who want workers to wear cumbersome PPE#the PPE approach is cheaper & makes it even easier to lean on the old 'the worker was careless' canard when occupational disease occurs#i just cannot stop thinking about it in relation to covid. my florida library system declined to enforce masks for political reasons#& reassured us that PPE is much less important than safety improvements at the operational & engineering level#but they didn't do those things either! we opened no windows; upgraded no HVACs; we put plexi on the service desks & stickers on the floors#& just as we have seen covid dangers downplayed or misrepresented workers still do not receive useful information about chemical hazard#a bunch of those MSDS handouts leave out carcinogen status & workers had to fight like hell to even be told what they're handling#a bunch of them still do not know—consider agricultural workers & pesticide exposures. to choose an obvious & egregious example.
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#Walking after dinner stimulates your digestive system#helping food break down efficiently. This reduces fat buildup#keeping you feeling light and energized.#A post-meal walk helps lower blood sugar levels#preventing excess sugar from turning into fat—a key for weight and health management.#Walking increases calorie burn and elevates your metabolism#so you continue burning fat even after you’re done.#Discover the Power of a Simple Walk After Dinner for Weight Loss!#Did you know a quick walk after dinner can supercharge your weight loss goals? Learn how this simple habit transforms digestion#boosts metabolism#and helps prevent fat buildup.#Benefits of Walking After Dinner:#1️⃣ Improves Digestion:#2️⃣ Controls Blood Sugar Spikes:#3️⃣ Boosts Metabolism:#InsulinResistance#WeightLossTips#HealthyLiving#TopDiets#WeightLossMotivation#WeightLossTransformation#FatBurning#DropThePounds#ShedTheWeight#burnfat#BalancedWeightLoss#ShapeYourBody#PoundsToGo#FitnessForFatLoss#quickweightlosstips
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Going back to playing Corporate Clash after Rewritten feels like coming home to see my beloved husband
#I love you high definition graphics and overall quality of life... and managers...#toontown#toontown rewritten#ttr#ttcc#toontown cc#toontown corporate clash#corporate clash#toonblr#and sprint button and zap gags and free camera controls and level progression system and chatlog and pocket wardrobe an
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#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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