#Either way there can be no legitimate way to get to this kind of position LMAO

[adhdo5]

o5 council consisting of just guys who either faked their way into the position or were coerced into it (by outside forces or their predecessors)

In a way isn't this every O5 Council

[bforblitz]

do the pro-imperialist aspects of tes generally come from oblivion? i've only played morrowind where theyre an antagonistic colonizing force, and skyrim where they're an incompetent bureaucracy, so i was surprised to see your "pro imperialist" take in that one post😭 totally agree about the racism though

okay not to go on full autism mode but. this is highkey my special interest so this is going to be a long post. this does get kind of serious, so i want to preface that this is all just fiction, but it's important to analyze how writers' internal biases can affect the worlds they build. and like I don’t think the Bethesda writers are like “graaa!!! kill all minorities!!” in a way that’s different from the average liberal American imperialist brainrot.

TL;DR tes is pro-imperialist because the empire is constantly portrayed as either good or not as bad as the other options + characterizes racial minorities in a super "they deserve to get colonized" way.

Pretty much every tes game has aspects of pro-imperialism (the only exception I can think of is Redguard). Oblivion is 100% the most pro-imperialist, but Skyrim and Morrowind are steeped in pro-imperialist rhetoric as well, it’s just a little more subtle than “DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS: THE VIDEO GAME”.

OBLIVION

I don’t think I need to explain too much on why Oblivion is pro-imperialist outside of the concept of “the Emperor is divinely chosen so only he and by extension the Empire can save the world”. The only way to stop the Oblivion Crisis is to relight the Dragon Fires, which only the Emperor can do because of a covenant with Akatosh that says he’ll protect Mundus so long as Alessia’s heirs (aka dragonborns) sit on the throne, and thus the Empire’s claim to dominance is legitimized because they are literally divinely chosen as the protector of Nirn. There’s also how Pelinal is portrayed as a noble hero that the player actually “becomes” when he committed genocide against the Ayleids so extensively that even his allies were disgusted (bit awkward if the player is an elf).

Now I COULD go into how Mankar Camoran’s writings can be interpreted as anti-imperialist, but that’s a huge can of worms that I don’t feel equipped to talk about because there is like. genuinely theological analysis there and I’m a filthy non-believer.

MORROWIND

Morrowind’s pro-imperialism is actually quite interesting. It’s definitely critical of the Empire, painting it as bloated and corrupt, but any attempt at anti-imperialism is stifled by other factors.

The Nerevarine is an imperialist agent. Like not “you work for the Empire”, but ACTIVELY furthering imperialism and making it easier for the Empire to colonize Morrowind. I can expand on this on a different post, but the Empire uses the Nerevarine to politically destabilize Morrowind .

The only reason Morrowind is not a fully incorporated province is because of the Tribunal. Tiber Septim understandably did not want to fight three living gods, so he instead made a deal with Vivec that allowed Morrowind to be semi-autonomous. The current Empire probably also doesn’t want to wrestle with the Tribunal, plus they’ve got Dagoth Ur and Corprus to deal with as well. The Tribunal are also generally seen positively because they’ve done so much to improve the lives of the average Dunmer.

So it’s very, very convenient for them that there’s a local prophecy about an outlander hero (who can be born within the Empire) that is destined to defeat Dagoth Ur and the Tribunal. This is best seen in the Tribunal DLC, in which Helseth (my cringe problematic failson) literally says that now that the Temple is weakened after Almalexia’s disappearance, he can better implement his policies (which are intrinsically in the Empire’s interest). The Empire basically highjacks a sacred prophecy from an indigenous people (the Ashlanders) so they can colonize better.

The Empire is definitely painted as kind of scummy for this, especially since they blackmail you and likely Caius, but only in their methods. Yes, there’s criticism of the Empire, but it’s often coming from people we aren’t supposed to agree with. The idea of the Empire taking over Morrowind is only questioned by locals who are painted as xenophobic bigots and the strangely large amount of tax evaders. Or straight up bio-terrorist cult leader Dagoth Ur. The Empire certainly isn’t perfect, but seeing as how Morrowind is a place of constant strife and danger, they’re the best choice for “stabilizing” the region and making it “safer”.

Going into a more doylist analysis, Morrowind is extremely orientalist. Like by the gods, it is SO orientalist. Let’s start with the fact that Morrowind is explicitly referred to as “the East” while the Empire is “the West”. The Dunmer are analogous to several Asian + MENA cultures, it’s stated by the writers they were inspired by the Japanese and Egyptians. Dunmeri culture is seen as backwards (slavery), violent (solve problems by killing people), mystical (elven magic), conniving (bureaucratic corruption and murder plots), and highly xenophobic. Most of the people on the player’s side are either not from Morrowind or sympathetic to the Empire’s cause (whether they know it or not). We’re clearly getting set up for a Western civilization vs. Eastern barbarism dynamic.

This is best seen in the issue of slavery. In-game, the Dunmer view slavery as part of their tradition and culture. The Empire views slavery as a backward and evil institution that must be abolished. Slavery is undoubtedly evil, and the average tes player is probably going to agree with that. At the baseline, the player is already more supportive of the Empire on this issue because their position reflects our irl values. The primary pro-slavery House is Telvanni, who are arrogant, “crazy” xenophobes. Telvanni is also extremely anti-Empire, and there are many instances where violence is literally just the only answer to problems. The primary anti-slavery House is Hlaalu, who are hypocritical, conniving opportunists. Hlaalu is pro-Empire, but only for their own economical reasons, so they don’t come out of this looking very good either. The writing on the wall is “this culture is so inherently violent and primitive that those who are against this great civilizing force hate us because of we’re bringing progress and those who are with us are doing so because they have no loyalty and are willing to betray their own kind”. Textbook orientalism.

This isn’t even talking about how in Bloodmoon you literally can found a colony, or how the Dunmer traditionally worship the “demonic” Daedra, or how living in an inhospitable place and being violent partly because of that is literally how people talk about MENA people. There is so much that could be said about how Morrowind is pro-imperialist, but I don’t want to ramble for too long.

SKYRIM

Skyrim is, in my opinion, the writers’ attempt at writing something anti-imperial that just ends up being imperialist because they don’t understand how anti-imperialism works. There is, again, a lot to talk about that I can make a separate post on, but I’ll be going over what I think is the most notable examples.

Let’s start with the Empire. Again, the Empire is NOT painted in a good light. But it is kind of telling that most people agree that they're the better of the two options because at least they aren't ethnonationalists, they're only oppressive imperialists. Kinda racist, but at least not as racist?

In my opinion, the Stormcloaks are more interesting when it comes to analyzing Skyrim as pro-imperialism.

First off, we can’t ignore the fact the Stormcloaks are white. Like THE whitest race in tes, PASTY white. They also have that christianized version of the Viking aesthetic going on (@trickstarbrave has a great post about this). They’re literally called the STORMcloaks. They’re based in Racism, the City. They are literally ethnonationalist white supremacists, and I think it’s kind of fucked up that their ideology is treated as a valid way to rule a country.

Similarly, the main negative of the Stormcloaks is the racism. But that really isn’t a negative for people who like them. At best, it’s something they can downplay (not to call anyone out but I’ve seen fics where the author explicitly says their version of the Stormcloaks is “less racist”). At worst, it’s the reason they like them. The portrayal of racism in Skyrim is also cartoonishly hamfisted and inaccurate. The other negative is them not being able to defend Skyrim against the Thalmor, but I'll go into this later.

It's also important to point out that the Stormcloaks' whole thing is that they want to rule Skyrim independent from the Empire because it's their homeland and they don't want the man to tell them what to do. However, in the lore, the Nords stole Skyrim from the Snow Elves, who they proceeded to genocide and enslave (reminder that Windhelm was built by Snow Elf slaves). This is literally the same dynamic as "the white colonists of the U.S. wanted to rule themselves because it's their land, don't ask about the people that have been living here for thousands of years".

The anti-indigenous rhetoric is RAMPANT in Skyrim, and I don't think I need to explain how imperialism begets it. The Snow Elves are said to be dead and gone, which falls into the trope of indigenous people being in the past and not existing in the present. But more importantly, THEY'RE LITERALLY STILL THERE. The Falmer are painted as mindless beasts, but they clearly have culture. They've domesticated Chaurus, they've built their own homes, they have some type of religious structure. They're people that are understandably scared of outsiders who are invading their home, which is why they attack anyone who wanders too close. Again, painting an indigenous group as "mindless savages with no culture who kill innocent people and steal babies" is like THE trick in the anti-indigenous, racist playbook.

The Reachfolk aren't treated any better either. The Forsworn is a group fighting against the people who stole their land, genocided them, and threw them in a labor camp. They are by all rights in the moral good here, but the writers have tacked on very questionable things. They have demonic, Daedric rituals where they transform their own into evil crones and mindless warriors. They wear little to no clothes to represent their "wild" nature. They're bandits who attack innocents and pillage the "civilized". Truly the ONLY quest in Skyrim that isn't about how much we fucking hate indigenous people is the Forsworn Conspiracy, and even then Madanach compromises his own values in collaboration with the Nords. At the end of the day, the Nords are portrayed as the best option for keeping Skyrim at peace. They are in the right for driving the Reachfolk and Falmer off their land.

We have now reached the point where I say probably my most controversial tes lore opinion: I'm pro-Thalmor but for a very specific meta analysis reason. I promise I do NOT like fascism or racism.

The Thalmor being fascistic ethnonationalist who manipulate 4E politics from the shadows is reflective of the writer’s pro-imperialist views and actively deploys anti-semetic + sinophobic tropes. Stripping things of their weird racist tes context: the Thalmor are a political group that rose up against a colonial power that genocided their race. They came to their peoples’ aid during one of the most horrific tragedy when the colonial power could not, and They are actively supporting other colonized peoples to fight against their oppressors (reminder that the writers felt like it was okay to say the Thalmor were behind the Argonian invasion of Morrowind).

How the Thalmor are portrayed in Skyrim is truly fucking terrible. They want to genocide the humans simply because they think they're better than them. They want to get rid of Talos worship because they simply can't accept that a human could ever ascend to godhood. They want to destroy human culture because it is inferior to their own. They are manipulating the scene, they control the Imperial government, which is ineffective and bending to their whims. They're doing evil against humans and the Empire.

I need to stress that the Altmer are in some parts inspired by East Asian cultures (the old Altmer art is literally holding a katana while wearing a shitty recreation of traditional Japanese wear), particularly the Chinese. In fact, ALL of the non-human races are based on BIPOC cultures. Combined with what I said in the previous paragraph, what does that say?

The minorities DO hate us. The minorities WILL form a coalition to destroy us. The minorities DO control everything and want to eradicate us and our culture. The minorities DO want revenge. They are a faceless hoard, a force of brutal and manipulative power that we know nothing about except for the fact that they hate us. They are lying in wait to strike when we are weak. And if we don't get rid of them first, they will do EXACTLY what we did to them.

THAT is exactly how fascism frames its victims. They are weak, but they are strong. They hate us, so we must hate them. If we win, we will return to our former glory and rule the world as its rightful kings. And if we lose?

They will exterminate us.

Now, giving them the benefit of the doubt, I don't think the people at Bethesda are like. consciously into killing minorities. I think this is just the product of that particular flavor of imperialist, borderline fascistic brainrot that every American has (source: I'm an American and I absolutely unconsciously held similar views, even as a POC). Then again, that’s like basically the same thing.

It's really hard to watch people just NOT understand that writers' conscious and unconscious biases affect their writing. I ultimately torture myself by deeply loving this series, and I don't expect people to like suddenly start hating it because it's problematic in the way 99% of fantasy and sci-fi media is.

so yeah. that's the condensed version of my opinion.

[sideblog-usernametaken]

Ok so Dandadan analysis time because I've been seeing some of the old conversations about it again. So two things about Dandadan (Not the only things but two important ones):

One of the over arcing themes is bodily autonomy

This series is a romcom

Rant below the cut.

A major reason people don't like Dandadan and/or are willing to dismiss it outright is because of the SA scenes. More specifically, a lot of people believe these scenes are fanservice and have no narrative reason to be there. They do have a narrative reason to be there though. These scenes aren't supposed to be fanservice either they're intentionally supposed to be upsetting/unnerving (I won't get into how here because other people have articulated this better than I can, and they will continue to do so as long as this misconception exists).

When people think of "violations of bodily autonomy" or "violations of consent" they usually think of rape or sexual assault. It is the beginner's example to the concept, largely because everyone with common sense agrees that rape and sexual assault are bad so it's easier to point out why they're bad. This also makes it easy place to start a narrative around bodily autonomy.

The very first scene of Dandadan is of a guy trying to coerce Momo into having sex with him even though she clearly doesn't want to. The same episode/chapter directly puts this kind of behavior on par with rape and sexual assault by paralleling the time Momo kicked him to the time she kicks the rapist aliens so hard she breaks their space ship. It's very clear that the narrative's stance is that not only are rapists bad, the people who aren't legally rapists because they technically got "consent" first (through coercion) should be treated with the same level of disdain. This isn't the kind of thing that you write into a series without legitimately thinking about the dynamics of consent and bodily autonomy.

Continuing on: The series also touches on the double standard between male and female victims of sexual assault. Okarun gets laughed at for having his genitals stolen, and Seiko just does not believe Momo got abducted by aliens. This very clearly parallels how in real life people will believe male victims got assaulted, but their assault is also brushed off as not that important or something they "should've enjoyed" or a sign of weakness. Especially if the assaulter was a woman. Meanwhile female victims are usually accused of lying regardless of any evidence they provide. These two things hold constant in Seiko's reactions throughout Dandadan. She literally rides in a space ship but doesn't believe aliens are real, and even when she's helping Okarun she's usually also doing a bit at his expense.

Going even further, Dandadan also branches out into other forms of violations of bodily autonomy that aren't thought about as often. For the sake of the analysis I'm going to do bullet points regarding each character. Fair warning: There will be major spoilers here so if you haven't read the manga keep scrolling until you stop seeing bullet points.

Acro Silky: It's very easy to point out that she was a sex worker, but what I don't see is people talking about the other ways she had to sell her body to keep her and her daughter afloat. She worked in janitorial services (A lot of manual labor) and as a store clerk (A lot of standing). Individually these two jobs are not necessarily coercive, they're not great but they aren't pulling you into something you didn't know about from the start. The thing is though, none of these jobs pay enough by themselves for Acro-Silky to make a living, meaning none of them are properly compensating her for her manual labor. This is an instance of manufactured consent, while she technically agreed to take these jobs, it's clear that she wouldn't be working all of them unless she had to. This is kind of an expansion of the coercion from the guy in the first scene but on a societal level where Acro-Silky wasn't in the position to be able to say "No" and move on. As a result, her freedom is restricted. She can't spend nearly as much time with her daughter as she wants to and she can't afford to get her nice things either. To top it off, any time she did spend with her daughter she spent physically exhausted because of her work.

Mr. Shrimp: Similarly to Acro-Silky, Mr. Shrimp is forced into work he does not want to do because of limited options and the need to support his child. What sets him apart though is that he's a migrant worker and his employers physically abuse him because they can get away with it. This is an exact parallel to how migrant workers are treated in real life. He even goes to work on a farm and it's potrayed as him making an honest living to support his family which is exactly what the majority of migrant workers are trying to do. Mr. Shrimp doesn't technically "have to" work on a dairy farm now, but he chooses to enthusiastically because it's his only option that doesn't require him tk disregard his morals.

Jiji: Jiji is an example of bodily autonomy violations of minors in regards to medicine. This one is a bit more complicated so stick with me here. When the Evil Eye starts possessing Jiji, the adults around him unanimously agree it needs to be exorcised and start preparing for the ritual. When Jiji decides "Hey, actually I want to try to co-exist with him" Seiko is his only adult advocate, and even she turns around on the idea when the Evil Eye has a close call with Momo. This parallels how in real life adults will make decisions for the children in their care regardless of their wishes, and how even the adults trying to be accommodating will still go against the kids' wishes sometimes. It also does a good job of accurately capturing the nature of these disagreements too, because yeah the Evil Eye is a problem so it's understandable why all the adults want to just get rid of it even if Jiji doesn't agree. But Jiji's stance of "Yeah this will be a pain but it's one I want to deal with" is also understandable. Like, imagine instead of an exorcism we're talking about getting an amputation that would be technically helpful but isn't strictly necessary.

Vamola: One of Vamola's initial goals when she's introduced is to find a strong man and have kids with him. This isn't something she actually wants to do but is something she has been obliged to do because she is one of the few survivors of a planetary genocide. She has been marked as her people's only chance at a continued survival because the rest of her people are too old to have children. Her mother and the rest of the surviving Sumerians gave everything they had to get her off planet safely as "the last thing left on Sumer to defend" so she has unfathomable amounts of pressure and survivor's guilt to go out and have kids. She doesn't get to figure out if she wants to have kids or not, that's just something that has already been made up to her and her only choice now is with who. Luckily, the story currently has her in a position where she can have peers, a (comparatively) normal life, and she doesn't have to think of her mother's request for a while. But even if it's not the primary focus in her life right now it's still there.

Rin: At a very young age Rin was forced into the role of caretaker. With a bedridden grandmother, a deceased father, and a mother who had to work long hours to make ends meet, Rin had to learn to be independent fast. She was basically forced to, otherwise her already unstable home life would break apart even further. To make things worse, Rin knows the predicament that she's in and her mother doesn't yet. Rin's mother thinks she "got lucky having such a good kid" and doesn't realize the pressure has gotten bad enough that Rin is already giving up on her passions to take care of her grandmother to give her mother a break. Mostly because Rin knows their family doesn't really have any other options and she doesn't want to place an even larger burden on her mother by adding more grief on top of it. It's essentially the "parent running themselves ragged to support their kid" story we've seen at least twice now but from the perspective of the child.

Zuma: Similar background to Rin where his father died and he took on a caretaker kind of role for his younger brother. Except his brother dies and this absolutely breaks his mother, to the point she commits suicide and tries to take him with her. Zuma is in the position where he has lost both his caretaker and the person he took care of, and he is fully aware of why that happened. This manifests as rebellion and him forming a gang that protects kids at his school from bullying and harrassment. He's becoming a caretaker again, but this time it is an active choice he has made. He doesn't technically have to start his gang or protect anyone, he has an adult taking care of him now and if he wanted to he could spend the rest of his highschool years stepping back and being a kid again. But he doesn't, and society labels him a delinquent for stepping in when the adults who should have didn't. This is another way that Dandadan shows how minors often have their opinions dismissed by adults who believe they know better.

Much shorter less spoilery rant:

Dandadan is a romcom. I have seen too many people complain about basic romcom shenanigans as if it's bad or generic writing instead of being genre conventions. "Ugh, there's a love triangle," Yes romcoms tend to have those. "Ugh, so many girls are into Okarun," Yes, and a lot of guys are into Momo, they both get romantic rivals because it's a romcom. "They keep going back to the romance and I don't like it," It's a romcom there's going to be heavy focus on the romance, you disliking that is a genre preference not a writing issue.

Like, do people not understand the concept of blended genres? Yeah this is a Shonen battle series but it's also one that has decided to be a largely character driven romcom. This is like someone walking into a horror comedy and walking out complaining that there were jokes and the horror would be better without them. The jokes are the point and the horror is a vehicle to get there. If you don't like jokes, go find a pure horror movie to watch.

[lu-is-not-ok]

A Narcissistic reading of Hong Lu

Yup, I'm actually doing this.

To lay down some facts first: I have NPD, alongside a bunch of other things that coalesce into a nuclear concoction strong enough to kill every dark empath in a five mile radius. If I find you ableisting it up, I give myself the permission to smite you. This is a threat and a warning.

Now, let's talk about Hong Lu. Because as it turns out, he might just be the most difficult literacy check in Limbus Company according to what I've seen.

I could just say "I'm a narcissist and Hong Lu is just like me fr fr so he's a narcissist too" and end the post, but honestly, where's the fun in that? There are, legitimately, things I want to yap about, so I'm going to yap about them, and no chucklefucks can stop me.

So, to start this off, let's make one thing clear.

Hong Lu is not only a good actor, but also a skilled liar. The way he navigates conversations and the methods he uses are just as important to analyze as the actual words he says, if not more so. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that trying to understand him based Only on what he says and not how he uses the things he says would result in an understanding that's not only incomplete, but potentially outright wrong.

Now, this isn't really tied to why I think Hong Lu could be very reasonably read as having NPD, at least not directly. Narcissists aren't inherently evil liar manipulators, and if that's what you take away from this post, that's more of a you problem (and you can go ahead and block me considering I'm one of the evil liar manipulator narcissists according to you).

However, there is a reason why I have to bring it up. And it's because almost all of Hong Lu's narcissistic traits become a lot more obvious once you look at the exact ways he takes control of conversations.

With that out of the way, what exactly are we even looking for?

NPD, in my experience, primarily affects one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I personally found that the analogy of a pendulum makes the most sense to me - a narcissist's sense of self-worth can swing between massive highs and massive lows, almost never staying in a middle "balanced" position, with even the tiniest things being able to throw it to one side or another.

The ways this can present outwardly are. Quite frankly, way too fucking many to count. But there are some common threads we can keep in mind:

High sensitivity to criticism

Need for an external source of validation

Tendency to seek out ways to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful

So, does Hong Lu fit those criteria?

Well. Yeah. This post wouldn't exist if he didn't.

Let's talk about the first point, high sensitivity to criticism. And, immediately, I would like everyone to remember Hell's Chicken, specifically the scene where Meursault begins to verbally roast his team's dish, and in the process laying down a verbal smackdown on everyone involved. That scene ended like this.

Curious, isn't it? The moment Meursault was about to start criticising Hong Lu, he just jumps in and distracts Meursault with a change of topic - something even Dante's narration points out.

Mind you, this isn't an isolated event. This is just the most obvious example of Hong Lu exhibiting this kind of behavior.

Don't believe me? Just look at these.

These are all examples of Hong Lu either backpedaling, changing the subject, or otherwise trying to avoid the acknowledgement of something that criticizes his status, thought process, or (in the last example) which would reveal an emotional vulnerability.

This is a fairly consistent pattern for him, and that's not even getting into the fact that the line he says when hovering over him before a skill check he has a Very Low chance at succeeding in has him suddenly try to excuse himself and leave.

Hong Lu is absolutely highly sensitive to criticism, it's just that his primary emotional reactions aren't ones we're privy to. Instead, what we get to see is how he acts to try and minimize the impact of those criticisms, if not outright find ways to never let them leave someone's mouth in the first place.

Next up - need for external validation.

This one doesn't have as many examples as the previous point, as Hong Lu is a generally closed off person who keeps a certain level of distance from most other Sinners. However, that doesn't mean I don't have any.

One such example comes from Canto 4, where soon after acting out his part in the play, Hong Lu seeks validation from Yi Sang.

Then there's this moment in Canto 6, where Hong Lu, once again, seeks validation for something he's done.

And then there's also these lines from Hong Lu's various Identities.

Aaaand then there's these base Identity voice lines, which, if you ask me, feel a bit like fishing for compliments.

This point is a lot harder to say is a definitive one, mainly due to Hong Lu's more closed off projected personality. That being said, the fact that one can find examples of it despite that is pretty notable.

And for the final one - trying to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful.

This is one that's a bit harder to provide exact examples for, as again, Hong Lu isn't someone who talks about how he feels often, and when he does it's not always exactly trustworthy. He's not like Rodya, who while still putting on a facade, is pretty open and easy to read about how she actually feels.

But, there's still some non-mutually exclusive interpretations I want to posit here. Two, in fact.

One - I believe that for Hong Lu, the thing he sees as power is control.

See, avoiding criticism isn't the only time Hong Lu steers conversations. In fact, it's something he does All The Time. He's often the one asking questions to get the group moving, trying to gather information that might be relevant to him, and generally taking over the direction a conversation is going in. Chances are, if Hong Lu speaks up, it's likely to alter the conversation he joins in noticeable ways.

This, I think, is one of the ways Hong Lu makes himself feel more powerful. After all, it's not that hard to guess from what little bits of his background we have that Hong Lu lacked agency for most of his life. So, wouldn't it make sense for him that having that agency, that being able to be socially in control, would be the exact kind of thing that would boost his self-esteem?

In fact, the only times we see him rendered completely speechless, seemingly stripped of that confidence in conversations he usually exhibits, are in Canto 7 - specifically in scenes where he's Not In Control of what the others are talking about. Those scenes being when the other Sinners start shit-talking Xichun in front of him, and when Xichun actively tries to bother Hong Lu by alluding to the way he's been treated back at home.

Extremely confident until something external happens that utterly strips him of that confidence... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Then, there's the second interpretation.

See, with NPD, there are two ways a narcissist can try to make themself feel more deserving of attention. One is the one most probably think of when they think about narcissists - setting out to fulfill extremely high goals to feel amazing when one reached them and then feeling utterly crushed in the case one doesn't. This would be someone like Rodya.

However, there is also another way, one which I personally have much more experience with - to undersell. To set extremely low expectations, so that it's as hard as possible to fail reaching them, and to feel way better upon surpassing them than one would with higher, more "regular" expectations.

This, to me, is exactly the kind of narcissist Hong Lu is. Think about it. He's constantly putting out this image of an extremely sheltered person that barely understands the outside world, with notable moments where it's made clear he's Just Making Shit Up at points. Wouldn't making one seem unable to do anything, only to then proceed to do things you've led people to not expect of you, make it feel like you're much more exceptional than you really are?

The underselling goes the other way too. When the other Sinners point out something odd about Hong Lu in a more positive way, he's often quick to point out how it's Nothing compared to what his Family expected of him. Wouldn't that make one feel exceptional, to make it seem like whatever effort you're putting in to do well is but a fraction of what else you can do? That you don't even have to try to be able to be special?

...So, there. That's all the analysis and interpretation I find important to do to get my point across.

Just to make it clear, I don't think that the only thing wrong with Hong Lu is the narcissism. There's definitely a lot more shit going on in that head of his. But, I'll be honest, the NPD reading felt so obvious to me that it genuinely took me by surprise that other people don't see it.

Though... maybe I shouldn't be shocked. Some fuckers out there still think Faust is a narcissist when she's literally just autistic.

[the-bi-space-ace]

Clone Cuddle Headcanons

Wrecker is the biggest cuddle bug idk what to tell you. He does run hot however. The amount of times whoever he’s cuddling with wakes up sweating and a thousand degrees is unbelievable. He’s real great to lay on top of though. Right on top. Get up there.

Crosshair is a surprising confusing individual and I keep looking at him in disbelief. He’s not averse to touch but he does want to be the one to initiate it. Especially cuddling. He will sit by himself in silence and then randomly walk up and just plop on top of whoever he’s chosen. They then have to lay there and let him choose the position, the blanket situation, the temperature, etc. otherwise he’ll leave. Cat rules.*

Tech isn’t huge on cuddling either but is willing to not be the initiator if they also respect whatever activity he is doing. If he’s sitting working on a project he will allow one of them to lay their head in his lap or wrap around him as long as they aren’t in the way. He may even play with their hair or rub their backs absentmindedly.

Echo goes through phases. He wants to be touched but not all the time and sometimes he really hates it and other times he really craves it. It’s mainly important to either ask first or let him ask. He likes to sleep near another person and will choose someone to latch on to if he’s in a cuddling mood. Sometimes he literally can’t get enough physical contact to feel comfortable and it drives him up a wall. (Can I please suggest that part of the reason Hunter touches his shoulder so often is bc of those moods where Echo legitimately can’t get enough physical touch. I just think that would be a nice thought.) He feels best when he gets to hold someone else and he is especially partial to Wrecker who not only keeps him warm but also is pretty willing to switch the cuddling up at any point. Good man.

Hunter! Hunter here! Really enjoys a good cuddle! Loves his back scratched or his hair played with! He has passed out on top of the other batchers before and woken up two hours later not knowing where tf he is. He also appreciates a good weight on him so his preferred position if he’s holding somebody is on his back with the other person laying their head on his chest. He runs warm so he’s a good option for the cold nights.

Fives loves everyone’s personal space. Especially Echo’s. He is a cuddle while sleeping type of guy. No need to feel weird about asking him for a cuddle he’s down for it. If anyone sits on the edge of his bed while he’s trying to sleep he rolls over and wraps his arms around their waist and hugs them. Had so much practice at comfort when he was a cadet that it is second nature for him. When he joined the 501st he got real protective of the shinies so they sought him out often when they needed support.

Rex does like a good cuddle but only with specific people. Doesn’t really want to be touched by people he doesn’t know well. Is honestly more accustomed to touch if it’s playful but again. Usually with people he knows well. Likes to lay his head in people’s laps or let them fall asleep on him. Is not too hot or too cold. Got used to the dominos crawling into his bunk while he was asleep and had to adapt to them being clingy on bad days. Got used to it and ended up missing when they weren’t there. Cody calls him a softie. Says they ruined him forever. He gets so grumpy back.

Cody. This man. Idk why but I always headcanon him as a physical touch kind of guy. Doesn’t like overly fond affection in public spaces but is real affectionate in private. Like Rex he’s more comfortable with the playful affection but there’s always a spot in his bed if someone needs it. He’s rarely sleeping through the night anyway. Might as well be the support system for those who need it. More accustom to holding hands honestly. It’s quiet it’s easy he can still use his datapad while he holds someone’s hand.

*I have a cute addition which is that the first time Crosshair plopped down and decided Echo was going to be his cuddle target Echo was in the middle of something and Crosshair just threw whatever Echo was working on aside and laid his head in Echo’s lap while this man just looked at the rest of the batch like ‘help?!? He’s never done this before am I in danger? What do I do!?!’ And everyone else was just like ‘you’re fine just be normal about it’ and after a few minutes of silence he just plopped his hand on Crosshair’s head and that’s how they both accidentally took a three hour nap and woke up disoriented with aching necks.

[yfere]

one of the things I've always found most interesting about jin guangyao as a character is that, for all of his offenses against the cultivation world, his personal vendettas, crimes, murders.... this is the only person in the series* who has enacted a systematic, successful change for the good of the common people. the watchtowers that he fought for.... that's a substantial legacy, that doesn't really mean much or merit much comment from the viewpoint characters of the series, but that I can't stop thinking about. that his vision as a chief cultivator, his political goals were, in the end, a great societal good.

We know, in the context of this world, that there is a significant problem where routine, common problems that are deadly and disastrous for normal people are simply ignored by cultivators, because it isn't prestigious enough and dealing with these issues is seen as a waste of time/too much trouble/boring. This is a world where people have to either be very rich or have something uniquely dangerous or interesting going on to have any real hope for assistance. It's exactly this sort of attitude from the cultivation world that ultimately spiraled into situations like the Wens pushing off their problems into other areas (Waterborne Abyss) instead of dealing with it themselves. The Wens weren't uniquely terrible or corrupt - no more so than many other cultivation clans would be in their position. They were symptomatic of the kinds of behavior that cultivation society in general rewarded, the visible tumor from the collected corruption of cultivation society at large. After all, this is a world where people like Lan Wangji, who "appear where the chaos is" and help irrespective of the level or complexity of the issue, are seen as morally praiseworthy but are also specifically viewed as unusual cases (when that kind of attitude... should be the norm? you'd hope for it to be the norm, and not the practice of one guy, his sect, and a handful of rogue cultivators).

Ultimately, it seems in the context of the story that while you can be a moral person as an individual, there's only so much a single hero can do (let alone legitimately) in the face of selfish human nature and a corrupt system. (You could say WWX trying to do everything by his damn self is a good part of why he was doomed to fail in his efforts to save the Wens). So here you have JGY, scheming and conniving his way into making the watchtowers happen, which to be clear *none* of the cultivation world really wanted to get mixed up in, as morally praiseworthy as the project was - because there isn't any glory to stationing yourself at a watchtower and dealing with all these mundane low level problems for commoners, is there? But he did it. The villain of the story, who ultimately gets eternal torment for his very real and awful crimes, he accomplished something enduringly good in a way that kind of spits in the faces of these individualist heroes, didn't he? which one of them could claim to have accomplished what he did?

[gilverrwrites]

NSFW Alphabet [Lucifer]

Lucifer / GN Human Reader

TW: Somewhat unhealthy relationship/sexual habits

Notes: Pretty sure all angels are like, assigned gender neutral at creation (at least that’s my HC) but I do refer to Lucifer by he/him. All HCs transfer to any vessel excluding physical descriptions.

Self indulgent dom Lucifer undertones, some fluff.

If you enjoy, and would like to see more, please let me know!

Rating: M/18+

I hope you have a great rest of your day.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

If he legitimately has let his walls down and is viewing this as some form of relationship, then he’s surprisingly soft and cuddly. Don’t talk about it, or he’ll get defensive. Just enjoy the moment for what it is.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Of his vessel? His tongue. It’s sharp and dirty. He loves using it to tempt you, and loves using it even more on your core, making you wither and moan for him.  

Of yours; your face, specifically your expressions. He just loves watching the way your face crumples or eases, the way your cheeks will blush or drain dependent on what you’re feeling, on what he’s doing to you.  

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 

He loves making a mess of you, will pull out and cum on any part of you he can reach. He especially likes cumming on your face, then slowly scooping it into your mouth.  

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Lucifer is VERY open about his sex life, to literally anyone. He’s an open book with every explicit details, they don’t even have to ask.

He’ll tell them all about the positions he had you in last night, how many times you cried his name, or took his load.

He’s much less vocal about the more tender nights. When you spend hours wrapped up close, rocking together, unguarded. Those moments are just for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

Given his distaste for humans, and having spent such a long time in the cage; not particularly experienced. But what he lacks in practice, he makes up for in confidence, energy, and enthusiasm.  

F = Favorite positions (this goes without saying) 

Anything deep penetration: legs on shoulders, the flatiron, and especially the lap dance.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

Lucifer cannot go more than 10 minutes without letting his impulsive thoughts win, and more often than not, those thoughts are humorous to some extent. He may have a big ego, and when it comes to serious matters he will snap necks over nothing, but he’s lived to long to take himself to seriously in moments like these. Additionally, he loves to make you laugh.  

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

I subscribe to the idea that vessels hair stops growing hair and whatnot when they’re being possessed (it’s definitely not just TV convenience). That being said, Nick was too consumed with grief to stay on top of that area before Lucifer came along. And Lucifer does not care enough to trim it up either.  

It’s clean, but it’s kind of a jungle down there.  If you ask him real nicely though, he might tidy it up.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

Flirting comes easy to Lucifer, but romance is a foreign language. He can be vulnerable with you if he allows himself to be, if he feels comfortable enough. But if you want romance, you’re gonna have to be vocal and concise, and even then I wouldn’t expect it often or tactfully.  

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

Alone in the cage, he tried it from time to time, and not just jerking. He really got to know himself, his likes, and dislikes. You’ll do a lot of stuff if you’re bored enough.

He even did it when Michael was locked up with him. It was a cheap shot, and sexually he didn’t enjoy it, but he did it just to laugh at the Michaels disgust.

Out of the cages, less so.

Once he got his clutches on you, never.  

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

100% has a praise/worship kink, tell him you’re ruined for anyone else, tell him nobody could ever make you fell this good and he’ll be riding that euphoria all day. ‘If It makes you comfy:’ Earnestly call him your God, and he’ll cum on the spot.  

Simultaneously he has a degradation kink for you.  He’ll have you on your knees, hands taught in your hair, growling “Beg for it you filthy whore. Beg me to let you worship my cock." 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

No real preference, but he does like the way your eyes get wide, and your heartbeat hammers when he fucks you somewhere risky. Somewhere you might get caught. “What would you do? If they caught us? What would they think of you, underwear around your ankles, spread open for me like the good little pet you are?”  The correct answer is incoherent moaning.  

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

It doesn’t take a lot really. He could just sit back and watch you go about your day, enjoying the sway of your hips, the sound of your laugh. It’s a slow build, but you’re tempting when you’re oblivious to what you’re doing to him.  

If you want him there and then though, give him a reason to put you in your place. He likes the power dynamic when you’re challenging him.  

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Exhibitionism is a yes for him, that’s for sure, but there’s an invisible line that surrounds it. The look but don’t touch line. You’re his, and only his to play with.  

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

As previously mentioned, he loves putting his mouth to good use. As much as he loves watching you choke and slurp on him, he would happily spend hours forcing wave after wave of pleasure through you, with just his mouth.  

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

He can be slow and sensual, especially during foreplay and oral. Just loves watching you squirm as he slowly inches in to you until he bottoms out. Loves watching you pant and beg as he holds you down, forcing you to cockwarm him for hour after hour. But when it comes to game time, when you’re ready to topple, he will hammer into you like there’s no tomorrow.  

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

Quickies tie in really well with his fondness for risky sex. Oh, your hunter friend is on their way here to borrow that book? I think now would be a great time to pin you to the couch and make you scream. They’re nearly here? They might hear us? You better get me off quick then, hadn’t you?   

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Absolutely. The real danger with trying something new with Lucifer is just how far he’ll take it, you know? He is not the kind who is gonna spend hours meticulously researching the best and safest ways to explore new kinks. So come prepared, to pray nothing goes wrong.  

He is however, prepared to try and fix things/make amends after the fact. Provided you don’t put all the blame on him (regardless of how much it actually is or isn’t.)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 

The real question is how many rounds can you go? How long can you last? That’s one of the perks to being an archangel. He can keep going until you’re a crumpled drooling mess, and he will. He particularly enjoys the way your legs tremor at just the feel of his fingers brushing near your sweet spots once he’s made you orgasm enough times. He is a fiend for overstimulation. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

If you want too, he will, but really, who needs them? Right? He can, and will go all night, and he can make you feel whatever you want with the click of his fingers. I guess the only exception to that rule would be things like role play/costumes.  

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

Lucifer is the king of teasing. He’ll flirt, touch, and rut himself against you, winding you up all day and then pretend to recede his offer when you get him alone. He wants you to beg him for it.

And just when you think you’ve won him over, when he ploughing into you, he’ll tell you you’re not allowed to cum. Not until he says so.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Not particularly loud, he will make some guttural sounds when he finishes, but otherwise the only times he’ll moan is when he’s mocking your own sounds.

But he will talk, he will in fact rarely shut the fuck up.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

He’ll never admit it, but for all his bark and equally his bite, his favourite part often is the aftermath. You’ll spook him if you talk about it, but he enjoys laying beside you, watching you come down from your high. Pressing his cold hard body against you, all soft and warm and oh so fragile.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Nicks a little above average in the night department so I’d overlap what in the penis area. Circumcised, just over 6 inches, a little on the thin side.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

When he’s in the mood, you’ll know he’s in the mood, and he’s easy to turn on if you know how to push his buttons.

However, he has been around a long time. Sure he is demanding in the moment, but in between he can be patient.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

He doesn’t sleep, and he’ll probably be gone by the time you wake up. But he will stay until you fall asleep, just to enjoy the serenity, the calm after the storm.

[bitegore]

Let me pose a thought experiment to you.

You are a powerful reality-warper who has the ability to mind-control people, travel through space unaided, survive almost any physical conditions, and change shape at will (though you have to go through a year-or-so long process to change what those forms are). You can, essentially, do anything you want. Except this is also true of everyone else around you, because this is just kind of how your species is built. (Everyone isn't necessarily built like this, of course - aliens are aliens. Some aliens are much more powerful reality-warpers, and some are much less, or they don't warp reality at all.)

You want Ultimate Power™.

There are only a few ways to get it, because mind-control is frowned upon for political expedience in the broader galaxy, and there are more than enough people hitting above your weight class that you can't just waltz in, force people to agree with your whims, and walk out with Ultimate Power™. You'll get thrown into the Space Hague in like, five minutes, if someone doesn't outright kill you for the insolence. Not everyone can shake it off, but enough people can, when you're getting into the realms of Ultimate Power™

Similar laws govern the legality of using mind-control to rig elections and semi-legally get you involved in the political arenas that get you involved in Near-Ultimate Power (which is, natch, good enough for you). You can't do that either.

If you really want Ultimate Power™, you have to work with a coalition, which is true of basically everyone after Ultimate Power™. This isn't the end of the world. Having a coalition working for Mutual Ultimate Power™ means that you guys can all share in the spoils, once you have them. The problem is still having them. Even working together, it's still difficult to successfully grab and hold power, isn't it?

There are very few ways to take power, and doing it legitimately is a sucker's game. The only accessible pathway to true power is through building a majority party that will acquiesce to your demands within a pre-existing intergalactic governing body of planetary and planet-system governments (we'll call it the Inter-Galactic Senate, ISG for short; this is backstage so no names are set in stone). Representatives in the ISG get their votes for each member state they represesnt. You want to gain position in the ISG by being "elected" as a representative. You can be the representative for multiple planets or planetary systems, but pretty much every member so far is already spoken for.

The obvious move is to find a non-member planet with aliens on it and convince them to elect you their ISG representative. Or, you know, "convince", and, you know, "elect". Heh heh. Whatever gets you your Ultimate Power™.

And naturally - the more the merrier. Every planet you can pull under your sway gets you a little closer to the goal.

Any overt use of mind-control will still get you tossed into the Space Hague.

You have essentially-unlimited material resources, including money for mercenaries, aid, and organizations. You have all the time in the world.

There are only two conditions.

You cannot appear "evil" (no force-backed dictatorships beating votes in favor out of people)

These people must not only back you at exactly the right moment, but every other time they're called upon, they must always stay in support of you.

What do you do?

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

You know? I really, really love your blog and your posts! I can't say that I'm in love with the show anymore, and if I'm honest with myself, I think that I'm on the salt side of the fandom. But like, I also enjoy a bit of sugar? It reminds me of what could have been.

But, sometimes, I feel that sugar fans are hard on salters/disappointed fans... Like, I'm afraid of asking their opinion about a negative aspect of the show, just to understand their pov, no matter if I try my best to be polite. And I get it, they have a right to enjoy the show and I am not entitled to get an answer from them, but its a side of the fandom that I'm afraid to interact with even if I enjoy some of their fanworks.

Yet, you are so patient and I feel that you understand (or try your best) both sides + the writers' and try to find a middle ground while affirming your perspective. You are so respectful even though you might not agree with some askers.

So, thank you for being you and making this blog! The world needs more people like you <3

Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad that I come across as respectful. I certainly try to!

I started this blog because I needed to vent about some things. Writing stuff down is a really good way to get your mind to stop pestering you against your will and I highly recommend it, but I didn't feel comfortable doing that on a blog more openly tied to my fan creations because there really is this vibe that you need to either love the show or get out. No middle grounds allowed. As if the show has to be perfect for you to be allowed to engage with it. That's not a healthy mindset for anyone to get into especially if you want diverse and interesting fan creations in your fandom. The more people feel like they have to fit a certain mold to be welcome, the less creations you get.

It's one thing to request that your personal blog be sugar only or to not want to engage with more critical posts, but to act as if people aren't welcome in any part of the fandom unless they only talk about good things is not how you get a fun and active fandom. It seems like people are legitimately scared of saying anything bad about Miraculous, but canon has a lot of things that aren't great so the sugar fandom is dying off because the only options are to shut up and be welcome or talk about what's bothering you and be kicked out. A single salty post can get you thrown out no matter if you're usually pretty positive or neutral about canon. It's weirdly culty and not my cup of tea. I like talking about media and you generally can't do that if you're only allowed to say positive things.

A while back, I joined a fandom event to meet other fans and one of the rules of the event discord was "no salt" and so people just... didn't talk about anything to do with the show. The only activity the server saw was the question of the day and occasional writing question even though episodes were actively airing at the time. It was a really depressing experience that perfectly showcased why "no salt" is an okay rule for a personal blog, but a terrible rule for any sort of group setting. It just kills people's ability to talk if they're constantly policing what they say.

My rule of thumb for this kind of thing is that people are ALWAYS allowed to disengage from a conversation that's upsetting them and that you should respect people's boundaries for their personal spaces like blogs, but that you do need to grow a backbone if you want to be in bigger fandom spaces. You're going to see shit you vehemently disagree with, but in most cases, the way to deal with that is to go do something else and let the people have their fun. If a post of yours starts getting a bunch of upsetting replies, turn off the notifications. Block the blogs. Curate your corner of fandom, don't curate fandom as a whole otherwise you get something like Miraculous. I've never seen a fandom so afraid of critical thought as Miraculous seems to be. I don't know if it's because it's younger or actively airing or what, but it's weird. It's totally cool if someone just wants to turn off their brain and have fun with it, but it's not cool to get mad that other people want to talk about the very real problems with the writing and the messaging.

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[readerswritings]

In the Damn Kitchen - Poolverine 1/2

Smut will come in next chapter I promise, just needed to get this part out into the world first to see if people like it. (Update 28/11: Rewrote/reformulated some parts) (AO3)

Warnings/tags: roommates, first kiss, idiots in love, eventual smut, canon-typical behavior

Wordcount: 1279

Summary: Logan and Wade are some weird kind of roomates, and one morning Logan tries to figure out how to make Wade shut the fuck up without getting blood in his breakfast.

Logan has been staying with Wade on his shitty pull-out couch for three months. Something that was meant to be somewhat temporary is feeling less and less like that these days.

They still fight physically, stabbing each other and making a mess (that Al complains about later), but they also just hang out.

Which Logan isn’t used to.

Not anymore.

Haven’t been for a good while.

Wade has grown on him, even with all the touching. And talking.

All the goddamn talking.

It rarely stops.

Wade talks on each inhale and exhale.

Not even when he eats is Wade quiet, talking with his mouth full of food. He has been doing it less lately, after Logan stabbed him with a fork a few times so he wouldn’t have to see that shit.

Wade is only quiet when he’s sleeping.

Logan has returned late from a bar or late-night walks a few times to Wade asleep on the pullout. Seeing him quiet and still had been odd. Wade’s ADHD filled ass never being still when he’s awake. 

Wade also sleeps like he’s dead. Logan had discovered this when he tried to wake him so he would move the first time. It was legitimately difficult to wake him up. So after that first time where it took an eternity to get him conscious enough to move, Logan either goes to sleep in the armchair he had gotten off the street the first week he was here, or tips Wade onto the floor with a pillow if he is in a bad mood. 

When he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll just crawl onto the pullout with Wade. He tends to wake up before him anyway. The few times he doesn’t, a few claws to the guts makes Wade shut up, or at least talk about something else.

Another thing with Wade is how casual he is about touch.

Sure, Wade had been touching him a bunch when they first met. But that had been to rile Logan up, to get a reaction, even if it was all negative. (The Honda doesn’t count in any positive way, the intent behind all of that had been hate and adrenaline. Even if the end result had been pleasant.)

Now though, it’s a hand patting his shoulder as they pass in the kitchen. A thigh bumping against his own as they watch shitty reality tv. Feet kicking him under the dinner table if he says something too blunt or rude. A shoulder bumping against his as they walk that damn ugly dog together.

It makes his skin crawl, mostly with how used to it he has become. And how he kinda, not that he will admit this to anyone except his own thoughts, likes it.

It’s all become routine, a weird kind of domestic life, (Logan hates that word), that works for them.

Speaking of routine, Logan often makes breakfast for them. Wade can barely cook, Al is blind, and Logan doesn’t mind that much most of the time. He needs to eat a lot anyway, and getting something into Wade that is somewhat healthy, and not just all sugar, makes him a little less irritating to deal with during the day.

Wade, of course, likes to tease him when he cooks. Stealing bites before it’s ready. Logan has become quite adept at fighting just with a spatula, smacking hands away with a grunted ‘fuck off.’

He’s off his game this morning though, as Wade manages to snatch a piece of bacon, straight from the pan where it was almost finished. Logan knows it must be burning his mouth and tongue, but Wade crunches on his price with a grin on his face. 

He’s wearing Deadpool pajama pants, bunny slippers, and a pink long sleeve with Hello Kitty on it, and he frankly looks ridiculous leaning on the counter, extra so next to Logan who is fully dressed for the day in his flannel, t-shirt, jeans, and boots.

“Haven’t had enough coffee yet peanut?” Logan grunts, smacking Wade’s hand as it tries to go for another piece. 

“Fuck off.”

“Oh you know I love it when you talk dirty to me, even this early in the morning.”

“It’s 10 am dipshit.”

“Oh you know the saying, it’s always 5 am somewhere.” Logan snorts, shaking his head. He grabs a plate to put the finished bacon on, putting some more in the pan. He lets Wade take a piece from the plate.

“Besides, I kept waking up because my dreams were being haunted by this sexy lumberjack looking figure, and I woke up with a raging hard-on that I had to take care of every-” Logan tunes him out, he had quickly learned to filter out through what Wade is saying, and what he can tune out. He flips the bacon, then stirs the eggs in the other pan where he’s keeping them warm on low heat.

There’s a hand in his hair, and that makes his focus snap back to Wade and his yapping. 

“You know, I always wonder if you roll out of bed with these little tufts.” Logan pushes his hand away, letting the claws out just enough so he knicks Wade’s skin. 

“Ouchie, someone’s a grump this morning. You’ve clearly not gotten enough caffeine in your hot bod yet. We should get that coffee that has a fuckton of it, the one with the skull or whatever, that lethal shit. Wonder if that would actually kill you, do you think your heart could give out on you? I think they even make you sign a wai-” Logan tunes him out again and wonders what it will take to shut Wade up. He is right, Logan has not had enough coffee for this. (Or booze, but he’s trying to do a little less of that.) 

Logan absentmindedly notices one of Wade’s scars on his cheek looks kinda almost like an H if he squints, so he does, and his mind drifts to the Honda. Unintentional, though not an unwelcome or unknown train of thought.

He’d rather not get blood on his bacon right now, so he goes for another component of the things that transpired in that surprisingly spacious car.

He steps towards Wade and turns, leaning forward, pressing his lips against Wade’s. It’s a brief kiss, but Wade doesn’t immediately say anything as Logan leans back just enough to gauge his reaction. He's enjoying the silence as Wade's eyes are flickering all over his face.

Wade’s mouth is gaping like a fish, opening and closing before his brain is booting back up. It makes Logan snort as he leans back all the way back.

The silence lasts for maybe thirty seconds, which Logan uses to turn and flip the bacon without it being in danger of being stolen.

“What the fuck peanut? You interupted me mid-monologue, that was fucking rude you-”

“Thought it would shut you up, but I see that didn’t work.” Logan takes a step to the side and away from Wade, but is hauled back and turned by hands twisted in the collar of his flannel.

“Oh no, you are not going anywhere until I get an explanation, or more.” Logan arches a brow, hands at his side, not touching Wade. The urge to punch or stab him is rising. 

And the urge to kiss him. 

Again. 

He knows all of those options would work for Wade.

And for him.

“I gave you an explanation.” 

“Grew tired of the claws old man? Don’t wanna stab this supple fle-”

“God you are desperate.” Logan doesn’t know if he means it as an insult or a compliment, but kisses Wade again anyway.

[ceasarslegion]

By the wishes of a few people, here's my advice post about living alone. Keep in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a canadian urbanite, so this will not apply to absolutely everybody in every kind of culture, economy, living situation, those in rural areas, etc. This also is not assuming wealth disparities are a matter of personal attitude, i KNOW it's complicated. Get back with that shit right now, you know damn well this advice assumes you are able to achieve the financial means to live on your own and is not disparaging anyone who legitimately can't.

Let's cover the basics first.

Source of income:

This seems rather obvious, but your income should be regular and reliably the same or similar on a monthly basis. The most obvious way to achieve this is with a job, and I'm sorry but minimum wage is not going to cut it on your own anymore, which means you're going to have to swallow your pride and accept that you'll likely have to work for some industry or corporation with a dodgy moral record. Get used to it. There is no point in self-flagellation, the world is complicated, just take the 50-60k a year office job, no one actually expects you not to and nobody will hold it against you when the "moral" option is soul-crushing retail. The real world really doesn't give a shit what you have to do to afford a comfortable lifestyle as long as you do what good you can within your abilities, no one in the real world expects you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for a cause.

Salaried positions are your most reliable because you'll always pull the same amount, while hourly pay comes with the ability to pull overtime pay in exchange for more shifts, but if you run out of sick days you'll have to spend the rest of the year taking unpaid time off when you need to call in. Whichever one you choose depends on what's available to you and what's right for you physically and mentally, I can't make that call for you.

You also need a credit card. That is non-negotiable. If you don't have a credit score, you can't sign a lease. Bad credit is better than no credit. We can argue until the cows come home whether or not credit scores are good or bad, but it's just reality that you're going to need one. The good news is it's fairly easy to build credit from no credit: you just have to pay off your credit card in full on time every time. The bad news is it's equally as easy to tank your credit score, you just have to miss one or pay it too late, and it's very hard to build good credit back from bad credit. So don't see it as free money, only spend as much as you can pay back, and if you don't have credit right now, start with small things like lunch and little treats that you immediately pay off.

Looking for a place to live:

Once you have your regular and reliable source of income, you can start looking for your place. There's a few things you should keep in mind:

-Draw up a budget for how much you can spend on rent and bills. That includes all basic living expenses: rent, utilities, food, internet, phone, hygiene. Compare how much you make per month to what you can spend. 1/3 to 1/2 of your salary is a bit more realistic to expect to spend on rent alone nowadays, so work within that range when you apartment hunt. Think of everything when you're budgeting, like how much do you spend on haircuts per month? You probably didn't think of that, because I didn't either at first.

-Apartment buildings with some/all utilities included often have higher base rents. You have to keep in mind that this is so the landlord can balance out the utility bills of the whole building, which are unpredictable expenses and on them to pay every month. If you don't know how to budget yet or don't know how to do so with unpredictable bills, I highly recommend trying to find a place with utilities included so you know EXACTLY how much you'll need to pay every month and can plan in advance

-Older buildings tend to be both cheaper and more likely to have centralized utility systems, which means they have to include it in the price of rent because there's no way to tell who used how much of something. If it's your first place alone, you'll probably be tempted to get the brand new, expensive building down the road, but it won't actually make much of a difference when you move in. You will love it regardless.

-Never ever sign a lease until you've either seen THE unit you're considering, or one of the show units that is exactly the same layout. The last thing you want is to go off online photos only to move in and find out the building has a mold problem. You can arrange personal tours by contacting the building manager or the landlord directly. Phone calls are the best way to do this.

-If you want the unit after seeing it, you know you can afford it, there's nothing funny about the place, apply IMMEDIATELY. Places are usually on the market for a few days before they're snapped up by a new tenant, you have to strike while the iron's hot.

-If you've decided on the place you want and had your application accepted, read the lease carefully before you sign. Many places require tenant insurance that meet specific policy requirements, have registration rules about long-term guests, outline how the parking works, quiet hours, smoking rules, mail, laundry, all the way down to what kind of barbecues are allowed on your deck in the case of mine (I am in a wildfire danger zone, so any types that produce embers are strictly prohibited for fire safety reasons). Ask any question that comes to mind about the lease. Not everything in a lease is some human rights violation just because you don't like landlords, keep in mind you're living in the same building as dozens of other people, so there has to be ground rules established for everyone's sanity.

-Internet is often not considered a utility so you'll have a hard time finding any place that includes it. You can arrange to have your wifi set up in advance of a moving date on a specific time and date, do this right after you sign a lease so you don't forget. They won't charge you until you're actually hooked up to the network.

-If your utilities are NOT included, get those set up in advance too. The main ones are HVAC, water, and electricity. The companies that do this vary depending on where you live and what's available, so shop around online once you've signed your lease and sign up as soon as possible. The last thing you want is to forget this and then move into a dark freezing apartment with no water.

Budgeting:

After your living expenses are covered, you should have a comfortable amount of financial wiggle room leftover. If you wouldn't, the place you're looking at is either too expensive, or you're being overcharged elsewhere. It's completely normal for living expenses to take up most of your budget these days, you're doing just fine in the same boat as everybody else if that's the case, so don't panic yet. If you have absolutely NOTHING leftover though, then you're out of your price range.

You also need to set money aside for fun and saving. Do not forego fun money, your brain will try to kill you with hammers and knives if you never get or do things for yourself. And if you're on your own, you're the only one providing that for yourself now. And a solid building base of savings will only help you in the future, whether you lose your job, have an emergency, or even need a down payment on a house later in life. Don't be a doomer about your circumstances or the socioeconomic and generational cards that were dealt to you, chip away at it a little at a time. And don't fall for social media's insistence that anybody with anything at all is some bourgeois degenerate or that being fortunate enough to be able to have upward mobility makes you some ultra wealthy shithead, working towards a comfortable standard of living for yourself does not make you a rich elite or a bad person. You're working towards the standard we should all live as, not exploiting the poor or being a class traitor. I feel the need to add that last part since we're on the website of "struggling art students in NYC are bourgeois that are just bad with money and having a gaming computer makes you upper middle class." Don't listen to a word any of those people say, I know it comes from a place of very real hurt and pain for them but that doesn't make it grounded in absolute reality for absolutely everybody.

Social needs:

If you're by yourself, there's gonna be a lot more work you have to put in for your social and entertainment needs. I can not stress enough how important it is to give this the time and work it needs, do not neglect this.

Lots of libraries have clubs you can join that will get you out of the house and meeting new people regularly. They're either free or very inexpensive. This is a great place to start.

Take advantage of technology we have now. Hop on discord calls more frequently, make sure you're talking to your friends on the regular and try to make plans as much as you can.

Also, I advise finding lots of things you can do by yourself. You will be spending way more time alone than you ever have before, so find single-person hobbies. Go thrifting, get into knitting, go explore the city, read lots of books, do puzzles, just don't lock yourself inside all day in your free time. Even if you're doing it alone, going out and seeing that the world is bigger than your apartment and your workplace is very good for you.

Misc advice:

You don't need a conventional coffee pot maker. Single serving will suit you just fine.

Cleaning is easier when you have a routine. It doesn't all have to be done on the same day of the week, but having a regular schedule of what gets cleaned when for non-daily chores will help you keep on top of it. And please, god, don't neglect your cleaning and hygiene just because no one lives with you to see it. On that note, spray bottle all purpose cleaners are your best friend for daily spot cleaning and you should deep clean your washroom around every 2 weeks in my experience since that's where you'll be doing most of your personal hygiene. Also make your damn bed, yes you'll just get back into it at the end of the day but having a major part of your space neat and tidy will do wonders for your mental health.

Don't buy the cheap garbage bags. Some things you really do want the expensive shit for.

If you don't have a car, delivery service/rideshare subscriptions ARE worth it and legitimately economical in the long run. I do wanna circle back to square one and say that yes, most of them like prime and uber do have dodgy moral records, but sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept that. Once again, no one in the real world expects you to spend your entire day on public transit looking for toilet paper that isnt 30 dollars a pack or lugging 50 pounds of groceries back on a bus just for a cause. It's not the fault of someone who needs these services for their quality of life that they do the things they do, don't put that responsibility on your or other's shoulders when the fault lies at the top of the corporate ladder.

When you're budgeting for living expenses, expect your income to be at the lowest and your expenses to be at the highest. I expect 2 call ins per month and to need to spend the max amount i have on groceries every time, that way I never fall short and never have to cut into my savings that I've dubbed my "oh shit, I'm broke" money. Your emergency reserve may look tempting to you, but as someone who has been in a position where they had to drain it to nothing in the past because of an unforeseen financial emergency, you REALLY are gonna want that untouched if and when shit hits the fan. Life is unpredictable, prepare to roll with the punches so they don't knock you out.

A few people wanted to be tagged in this, so here you go @lilsnatch and @kisstheashes <3

[bestworstcase]

option 1: tai’s guarding the crown of choice.

pros:

a legitimately important task that recontextualizes his ongoing decision to remain on patch as a personal sacrifice he makes for the greater good.

ozpin would pick the guy named for the god of light to be the gatekeeper of choice, huh.

if any parent in this story is meant to die, it’s him, and narratively this is the most intuitive way to do it.

cons:

realistically, what can tai do to prevent salem / cinder / summer from accessing the vault if they find it? if he’s the gatekeeper, staying on patch alone after everyone else evacuates achieves nothing except, ah, signaling to the enemy that the real vault is under signal academy. bad plan.

it means oz is breaking his promise to be honest and forthcoming, undermining his character growth for the sake of ‘surprising’ the audience with the most obvious answer.

means qrow has either been kept in the dark (see prev point) or he’s also deliberately hiding this information from his nieces after they asked him outright if he knew where tai is; this is so far afield for his character as to border on character assassination, and likewise undermines his positive growth since v7.

honestly makes both yang and ruby seem kind of stupid. they know the crown is hidden somewhere near beacon, that ozpin did something to protect it differently from the others, and that their father hasn’t left patch. ruby was sharp enough to guess that long memory might be a relic hidden in plain sight; yang is just as smart, and she knows tai had “some things” to look after on patch. are we expected to believe that “hey, is dad guarding the relic?” somehow hasn’t occurred to either of them?

tai harbors a whole lot of resentment toward ozpin, and based on qrow kicking him out of ruby’s bedroom to drip-feed her hints on where to go next, he seems to have been on the outer perimeter of the inner circle. why would oz entrust him with the relic’s safety?

glynda—ozpin’s scrupulously loyal second-in-command whose emblem is a crown and whose semblance puts her on par with a maiden—is a far more narratively plausible vault-guardian than tai, and the “sun dragon” makes a damn good red herring.

if he’s guarding the vault, he dies. sorry. but the point of putting the father of 2/4 protagonists in between the two main villains and the thing they want most (choice) is so they can kill him to get it, increasing tension and raising the emotional stakes of negotiating peace. to be clear, rwby is willing to Go There, but i think it’s an unsatisfactory way to close out the rose xiao long family arc.

option 2: survivors trapped under mountain glenn, and tai is taking point.

pros:

a genuinely important, worthwhile thing for him to be doing—even more so than guarding the crown. likely sets up a resolution for him in the vein of “you can be a good huntsman or a good father, and tai picked being a huntsman,” which is an elegant way to balance his contradictions.

gives him meaningful stuff to do in v10; for example, one stealthy huntsman with a bullhead could slip in and out of mountain glenn to get a few dozen people out at a time, and/or run supplies and messages between the kingdoms.

we get to see zwei back in action around mountain glenn :)

introduces a natural segue from playing defense in vacuo to mounting a counteroffensive against beacon as tai’s work clarifies the situation in vale.

easily the most 'heroic' direction for him without contorting the story to arbitrarily lionize tai: he’s a scout preparing the stage for the heroes to take the fight to salem, making him the good counterpart to watts.

cons:

makes no sense to keep it a secret. the emotional beats of B4 can still happen if the girls know this is what tai’s doing: instead of “do you… wonder why he’s not here? i know qrow said he’s on assignment, but what’s more important than here?” yang says “do you… wish he were here? with us? i know qrow said he’s looking for survivors, but how many of them can there really be by now? we need all the help we can get,” and ruby says “maybe we don’t have the full picture” as in maybe dad knows something we don’t and that’s why he hasn’t given up yet. the emotion is the same, and the big "they’re hiding in mountain glenn" reveal is hinted without spoiling.

leaves hanging the narrative thread of what tai has been doing since the fall of beacon, because the “some things” he was dealing with in v4 obviously wasn’t this.

option 3: tai is dead.

pros:

explains the apparent secrecy; qrow knows tai was away “on assignment” (i.e., had taken a huntsman contract that brought him out of the kingdom) at the time salem attacked vale, so he is missing but not yet presumed dead.

might reopen the mystery box of summer’s last mission through the real-deal “left on a mission and never came back” echo.

cons:

raven would know.

it’s a cheap, narratively unsatisfying twist that fails to deliver on the bread crumbs set up in v2-3 (tai starts going on missions again) and v4 (“some things”), and also undermines any serious emotional resolution with regard to yang and ruby’s complex relationships with tai.

option 4: summer’s working with salem, and tai is trying to convince her to come back.

pros:

“some things” being his presumed-dead wife who left him to join the enemy and with whom tai is now having an affair or otherwise hoping to coax back to the heroic side through the power of love whilst also keeping his mouth shut about her being a) still alive and b) a traitor is OBJECTIVELY the funniest answer.

brings forward and interrogates the way tai’s romantic grief informs the choices he makes as a parent: from hiding raven and then refusing to talk about her with yang, to shutting down when he lost summer and letting his five-year-old pick up the pieces, to discovering and then keeping summer’s secrets for the sake of some faint hope that she might finally come back to him.

cogent with the Dead (Absent) Mother / Neglectful Father / Evil Stepmother fairytale paradigm rwby deconstructs with raven, tai, and summer; the father chooses the stepmother over his children.

raises the emotional stakes of the war for summer through direct confrontation with the life she left behind, creating narrative opportunities to develop her character (is she still in love with tai? how does she feel about being his first priority, over their children? does she resent that he has her on this pedestal even now?) and apply pressure to her relationships with salem and cinder (do they know? is summer keeping her communication with him a secret, too? or is he an “asset” she’s using for salem’s benefit?).

consequently, raises the momentum of the narrative toward negotiation with salem; tai still has the coalition’s trust, however strained his personal relationships may be. summer is the obvious ambassador for salem’s side of the war, but she’s also the traitor who needs someone to vouch for her good intentions.

the secrecy needs no explanation: just as summer’s last mission was a summer secret, tai’s "assignment" is a taiyang secret and the girls know everything that oz and qrow do, because all of them have been left in the dark. raven might know, and she has the means to find if she doesn’t, but tai’s whereabouts are entangled with what raven knows about summer, so she can’t explain where tai is or why until she reveals her deep dark secrets about what happened between her and summer that night.

foreshadowing is solid: tai starts to go on "missions" again in v2, after the inner circle becomes aware that salem has infiltrated beacon and just before the breach downtown. when ruby visits summer’s grave in v3, she says "[dad] told me he’s going to be on some mission soon! i think he misses adventuring with you." he’s got to "look after some things" (but he isn’t talking about yang, because he stays home after she leaves). and then with B4 we have ruby echoing what the blacksmith taught her about summer in relation to tai, "maybe we don’t have the full picture?"

juicy

cons:

???

dependent on the unconfirmed theory that summer is working for salem as herself, not some unrecognizable enslaved monster, but i am as confident in that as i was about salem going to vale next and we all know how that turned out :)

taking their mom was not enough salem had to go for the full set APPARENTLY

option 5: secret fifth thing

pros:

???

cons:

???

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: hello! thank you for running this blog. i hope your vacation was well-spent!

i am an enfp in the third year of my engineering degree. i had initially wanted to do literature and become an author. however, due to the job security associated with this field, my parents got me to do computer science, specialising in artificial intelligence. i did think it was the end of my life at the time, but eventually convinced myself otherwise. after all, i could still continue reading and writing as hobbies.

now, three years in, i am having the same thoughts again. i've been feeling disillusioned from the whole gen-ai thing due to art theft issues and people using it to bypass - dare i say, outsource - creative work. also, the environmental impact of this technology is astounding. yet, every instructor tells us to use ai to get information that could easily be looked up in textbooks or google. what makes it worse is that i recently lost an essay competition to a guy who i know for a fact used chatgpt.

i can't help feeling that by working in this industry, i am becoming a part of the problem. at the same time, i feel like a conservative old person who is rejecting modern technology and griping about 'the good old days'.

another thing is that college work is just so all-consuming and tiring that i've barely read or written anything non-academic in the past few years. quitting my job and becoming a writer a few years down the road is seeming more and more like a doomed possibility.

i've been trying to do what i can at my level. i write articles about ethical considerations in ai for the college newsletter. i am in a technical events club, and am planning out an artificial intelligence introductory workshop for juniors where i will include these topics, if approved by the superiors.

from what i've read on your blog, it doesn't seem like you have a very high opinion of ai, either, but i've only seen you address it in terms of writing. i'd like to know, are there any ai applications that you find beneficial? i think that now that i am here, i could try to make a difference by working on projects that actually help people, rather than use some chatgpt api to do the same things, repackaged. i just felt like i need the perspective of someone who thinks differently than all those around me. not in a 'feed my tunnel-vision' way, but in a 'tell me i'm not stupid' way.

----------------------

It's kind of interesting (in the "isn't life whacky?" sort of way) you chose the one field that has the potential to decimate the field that you actually wanted to be in. I certainly understand your inner conflict and I'll give you my personal views, but I don't know how much they will help your decision making.

I'm of course concerned about the ramifications on writing not just because I'm a writer but because, from the perspective of education and personal growth, I understand the enormous value of writing skills. Learning to write analytically is challenging. I've witnessed many people meet that challenge bravely, and in the process, they became much more intelligent and thoughtful human beings, better able to contribute positively to society. So, it pains me to see the attitude of "don't have to learn it cuz the machine does it". However, writing doesn't encompass my full view on AI.

I wouldn't necessarily stereotype people who are against new technology as "old and conservative", though some of them are. My parents taught me to be an early adopter of new tech, but it doesn't mean I don't have reservations about it. I think, psychologically, the main reason people resist is because of the real threat it poses. Historically, we like to gloss over the real human suffering that results from technological advancement. But it is a reasonable and legitimate response to resist something that threatens your livelihood and even your very existence.

For example, it is already difficult enough to make a living in the arts, and AI just might make it impossible. Even if you do come up with something genuinely creative and valuable, how are you going to make a living with it? As soon as creative products are digitized, they just get scraped up, regurgitated, and disseminated to the masses with no credit or compensation given to the original creator. It's cannibalism. Cannibalism isn't sustainable.

I wonder if people can seriously imagine a society where human creativity in the arts has been made obsolete and people only have exposure to AI creation. There are plenty of people who don't fully grasp the value of human creativity, so they wouldn't mind it, but I would personally consider it to be a kind of hell.

I occasionally mention that my true passion is researching "meaning" and how people come to imbue their life with a sense of meaning. Creativity has a major role to play in 1) almost everything that makes life/living feel worthwhile, 2) generating a culture that is worth honoring and preserving, and 3) building a society that is worthy of devoting our efforts to.

Living in a capitalist society that treats people as mere tools of productivity and treats education as a mere means to a paycheck already robs us of so much meaning. In many ways, AI is a logical result of that mindset, of trying to "extract" whatever value humans have left to offer, until we are nothing but empty shells.

I don't think it's a coincidence that AI comes out of a society that devalues humanity to the point where a troubling portion of the population suffers marginalization, mental disorder, and/or feels existentially empty. Many of the arguments I've heard from AI proponents about how it can improve life sound to me like they're actually going to accelerate spiritual starvation.

Existential concerns are serious enough, before we even get to the environmental concerns. For me, environment is the biggest reason to be suspicious of AI and its true cost. I think too many people are unaware of the environmental impact of computing and networking in general, let alone running AI systems. I recently read about how much energy it takes to store all the forgotten chats, memes, and posts on social media. AI ramps up carbon emissions dramatically and wastes an already dwindling supply of fresh water.

Can we really afford a mass experiment with AI at a time when we are already hurtling toward climate catastrophe? When you think about how much AI is used for trivial entertainment or pointless busywork, it doesn't seem worth the environmental cost. I care about this enough that I try to reduce my digital footprint. But I'm just one person and most of the population is trending the other way.

With respect to integrating AI into personal life or everyday living, I struggle to see the value, often because those who might benefit the most are the ones who don't have access. Yes, I've seen some people have success with using AI to plan and organize, but I also always secretly wonder at how their life got to the point of needing that much outside help. Sure, AI may help with certain disadvantages such as learning or physical disabilities, but this segment of the population is usually the last to reap the benefits of technology.

More often than not, I see people using AI to lie, cheat, steal, and protect their own privilege. It's particularly sad for me to see people lying to themselves, e.g., believing that they're smart for using AI when they're actually making themselves stupider, or thinking that an AI companion can replace real human relationship.

I continue to believe that releasing AI into the wild, without developing proper safeguards, was the biggest mistake made so far. The revolts at OpenAI prove, once again, that companies cannot be trusted to regulate themselves. Tech companies need a constant stream of data to feed the beast and they're willing to sacrifice our well-being to do it. It seems the only thing we can do as individuals is stop offering up our data, but that's not going to happen en masse.

Even though you're aware of these issues, I want to mention them for those who aren't, and for the sake of emphasizing just how important it is to regulate AI and limit its use to the things that are most likely to produce a benefit to humanity, in terms of actually improving quality of human life in concrete terms.

In my opinion, the most worthwhile place to use AI is medicine and medical research. For example, aggregating and analyzing information for doctors, assisting surgeons with difficult procedures, and coming up with new possibilities for vaccines, treatments, and cures is where I'd like to see AI shine. I'd also love to see AI applied to:

scientific research, to help scientists sort, manage, and process huge amounts of information

educational resources, to help learners find quality information more efficiently, rather than feeding them misinformation

engineering and design, to build more sustainable infrastructure

space exploration, to find better ways of traveling through space or surviving on other planets

statistical analysis, to help policymakers take a more objective look at whether solutions are actually working as intended, as opposed to being blinded by wishful thinking, bias, hubris, or ideology (I recognize this point is controversial since AI can be biased as well)

Even though you work in the field, you're still only one person, so you don't have that much more power than anyone else to change its direction. There's no putting the worms back in the can at this point. I agree with you that, for the sake of your well-being, staying in the field means choosing your work carefully. However, if you want to work for an organization that doesn't sacrifice people at the altar of profit, it might be slim pickings and the pay might not be great. Staying true to your values can be costly too.

[satalxo]

Can you tell how Qimir was acting/feeling after being apart from Osha for a month? Was he always hanging by the bar hoping she'll show everyday?

Also why does Qimir want Osha in the first place? Is it because she's 18? She comes off naive? I've been curious as to why he refuses to let her go.🤷🏽‍♀️🤨

wblwba spoilers under the cut!

for the month apart he wasn't literally standing at the bar, if that's what you're asking lol. but he was pining for her, and he did have his staff watching for her, and he was at the club every night in case she came back, doing work in his office or hanging in the vip lounge. he spent time with sol and mae whenever they came as well, trying to get information about osha, hoping that mae might bring her back one day.

her age is not a major factor in why he's into her. he doesn't make a habit of dating/hooking up with 18yos. that being said, it's obviously not an issue for him either. he clearly likes the babydoll aesthetic, and he does enjoy showing her new things, especially bc she continues to respond so positively.

he was intrigued by her being willing to do what she did for mae, when it didn't benefit her (keep in mind that he's never had any kind of family, never had anyone that he would do anything for or who would do anything for him). and then he felt like they were really compatible based off the way she responded to him during their first encounter. the fact that she took so long to come back heightened his interest.

is he healthy about his interest? absolutely not, he's a downbad dirtbag freak who has no idea how to handle his emotions. but he does legitimately like her (more than like her). and that has only grown in the week they've had together. his interest may have started out as largely instinctual, but he feels like his instincts have been proven correct.

now that osha isn't trying to avoid forming an attachment to him, some of this will be addressed in the fic :)

[prpfz]

Looking for a fandomless, sweet but screwed-up, MxF roleplay with 👪 and possibly 🍪 as well.

Once upon a time, a guy and a gal got together, and it led to the gal getting pregnant. The guy, unfortunately, could not support the gal and their child; the gal went away and stayed away, through her pregnancy and through her daughter’s childhood.

Now, the gal, through some combination of truth and rose-tinted glasses, never blamed the guy for not being able to support her. In fact, she never stopped speaking about him in glowing and loving terms. As she grew up, the daughter couldn’t help but love her father, even from a distance.

Years pass, and eventually the daughter is as old as the gal was when she was conceived. She decides to seek out her father, this perfect god-among-men that her mother convinced her was the best man, the best lover, she’d ever had. So she returns to the town where her parents met up and made her. And he’s not hard to find.

Thing is, her mother has created such an image of him in her head that she can’t help but want the man in a way that daughters aren’t supposed to want their fathers. So she thinks the best course of action is to insert herself into his life, maybe even in a way that mirrors her mother’s experience with him, and just keep quiet about their familiar relationship so that they can have an entirely different type of relationship.

What she doesn’t know, though, is that the moment her father saw her, he knew who she was, who her mother was, and who he was to her. The parts of her that weren’t completely her mother at that same age are clearly inherited from him. Add to this the fact that the father has been abusing – sorry, making good use of – his position of power over teenaged girls… pursuing his own daughter doesn’t really feel like that much of an extra step.

In case it needs to be specified, the father is M/C, and I’m looking for someone to play the daughter.

So what’s that “position of power”? Well, he might be a highschool teacher – if so, math please, because I could probably fake that pretty well. But on the other hand, he might be a youth pastor at the church. Or maybe he was a youth pastor, and got promoted to actual pastor. If so, he’s probably married, and has been since before he and her mother got together. Just in case we need to add yet another thing he’s going to Hell for.

And speaking of that position of power: is it top secret that he occasionally likes to put a little extra effort into one of those teenage girls he works closely with? Or is it something whispered about, a little badge of honor if he picks you and makes you his special project? Either way, I’d really like him to treat them with legitimate kindness and tenderness – and of course, Y/C when the time is right.

Then of course what might be the big question: how old was the mom and how old is Y/C? Because no matter what, I’d like M/C to have been mid-twenties or so when Y/C was conceived.

Anyway, that’s what I’m thinking. I hope someone finds it interesting.

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!