#and his solo career was the least successful by far…….

[angelichl]

.

[hannieehaee]

NO SONG WITHOUT YOU

18+ / mdi

summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 12.6k

a/n: this is probably my fave fic i've written so far!! love writing for jihoon aaaa anyways i hope u guys enjoy <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.

He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.

Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career, - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

He was once again in his studio, working on god knows what at this point. He had just finished a quick welive with carats, feeling like he'd accomplished his quota of socialization for the day (I mean, even if it was a one-way conversation, it still counted, right?) and decided to get to work on one of the many unfinished drafts in his hard drive. This was kind of routine by now. He would either get a quick meal with one of the members during their break from rehearsals, or would go back to his studio for a bit to work on music. This would've been fine and dandy if it wasn't for the fact that Jihoon would eventually have ended up right back at his stuido either way. It was the illusion of choice, truly.

He spent a few hours in there, messing around with his guitar and even working on some guides for the members to follow next time they had some time to stop by the Universe Factory. Today felt like a productive day for Jihoon. Granted, he did this literally every single day, but he hadn't felt stuck at any point today. Maybe he was on a lucky streak. He decided to cut the day short there, not wanting to ruin what had been arguably an uninterrupted day of working on music. However, his separation from his studio did not last long, as he received a call from his manager just as he was locking the door behind him. He picked up without much thought.

"What's up?"

"Hey? Jihoon-ah, are you still in the studio by any chance?", Jihoon almost vocalized his amusement at the question. Where else would he be?

"I was just locking up, but yeah, I'm here."

"Good! Stay right there! Gonna head up to talk to you for a bit," and with that he hung up, not leaving Jihoon any chance to respond.

Jihoon and his manager were quite close. This was the case with most idols and their managers, having to spend so much time together. Still, Jihoon found the interaction to be a bit odd. Usually his manager would be one of the many people to insist that Jihoon get his ass out of his studio every once in a while. He didn't mind his request, though, so he quickly reopened the door and sat himself back down on his chair, deciding to mess with a few things as he waited for his manager's arrival.

It took his manager about ten minutes to arrive, Hybe was quite a big building, after all. He knocked on his door, not knowing the access code to Jihoon's studio. The only people who knew his key code were Jihoon himself, and Soonyoung (who had learned it without Jihoon's knowledge, but he was too lazy to change it by now). He got up to open the door, simply expecting another one of his manager's short overviews of Jihoon's schedule for the week, which might've been correct, except that when he opened the door he was met with his manager accompanied by an unfamiliar face.

It was you. Jihoon didn't know exactly who you were, but you carried a familiar air to you. He hadn't really been interacting with many people as of late, so maybe you were just someone he'd seen in passing, he wasn't too sure. You and his manager walked in upon Jihoon's gesture to please come in, moving aside as to not be in your way. He closed the door behind you, accidentally closing the distance between the two of you for a second and becoming a bit flustered at the proximity. He wasn't sure why his manager would bring someone unknown into his studio, but if Jihoon was anything, he was a relaxed guy (or at least he tried to seem like it), so he just sat back down without making any questions, his manager would probably fill him in any moment now anyways.

"Okay, so this is Y/N! You've probably met before, right?"

Uh, not right. And now a little awkward. Was he supposed to lie?

"Oh! No, we haven't, actually. I know a few of his members, though, but this is our first time officially meeting," you spoke up for the first time. So you were friends with his members? That might be how he knew you. That didn't really narrow it down much, though. There were 12 of them, and Seungkwan alone was friends with practically the entire industry.

"Oh? My bad. Well, then I should introduce you, right? Jihoon, this is Y/N! Her group was just recently acquired by Hybe. They moved into the building just over a month ago, if I'm not mistaken," He turned to you as you nodded in affirmation before proceeding, "Y/N, this is Jihoon, producer and partial leader of Seventeen."

He wasn't too sure why he was introducing the two of you. If he got personally introduced to every group Hybe acquired in the past year, he'd probably be here all day. He'd stopped keeping track of who and which groups were now roaming the hallways, being too many for him to count. He wasn't complaining or anything, he was just confused as to why go out of his way.

"Woozi-nim. It's so nice to meet you! I've always been such a huge fan. Your work is .. it's insane. I've looked forward to meeting you for so long," the enthusiasm with which you said this made his lip quirk up a little. Sure, he received accolades on his work every day, but knowing that fellow juniors of his looked up to him always brought a smile to his face, although it still made him a little sheepish at receiving such a forward compliment.

"Oh, I- Thank you. And you can call me Jihoon. It's nice to meet you, too," he smiled shyly at you, not really knowing what to say past that. He felt a bit shy looking at you for some reason, as if he couldn't hold eye contact for too long or he'd burn.

He looked expectantly over at his manager, the instigator of this interaction.

"Oh! Right. Well, as I just said, Y/N's group just moved into the company. And the company's been pushing for some collaborations as of late, you know, in order to maximize all groups within Hybe all at once," Jihoon could kind of see where his manager was going with this, "So, I've brought Y/N along with me since you two will be working together for a feature."

Hold on. Rewind.

"Us? As in just us two?"

"Yeah. Hybe is dividing you guys into subdivisions. Mingyu will be collaborating with someone in BTS a few months from now, and Chan will be with Yeonjun from TXT. I think Seokmin is scheduled with a member of Lesserafim. Not too sure yet, but you're up first. I sent you an email about it a few days ago with the general idea. Did you not get it?"

Oh, right. Jihoon was always quite diligent about his work, but his work mostly entailed Seventeen only. Checking his email wasn't much of a habit of his when he could just call up the few producers that worked for Seventeen whenever he needed to. Collaborations and producer work for other people were not that common to him, so for the most part he would disregard anything that didn't entail his own group.

"Oh, I, uh. No, sorry," he felt slightly bad at having disregarded the person standing in front of him, specially when you had regarded him such such respect. He was giving off a terrible first impression.

"That's fine. Now you know. Well, just wanted to take advantage that you were here today - Hah, well, when aren't you here?", chuckled his manager before continuing, "Just wanted to introduce you just in case. Check the email I sent you when you can, I'll send you over more details of your schedule related to the feature first thing tomorrow, yeah? Y/N here is the main producer for her group too, so you'll be co-producing."

You produced? He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but there were just so many groups who didn't make their own music. He could sometimes get a bit of an ego over knowing he was an anomaly in his industry, always having taken pivotal part in a good 90% of his group's discography. Still, he wasn't too happy about the concept of having to share the creative process with a producer he had never heard of, if he was quite honest. For the most part he would only work with Bumzu and a few other Hybe producers here and there. He didn't even know your group or the music you were credited for. Hell, he had only found out about this project two minutes ago, having had no voice in the matter. One of the down sides of joining such a huge company that fathered way too many groups at once, he guessed.

He decided to not show his slight discomfort towards the idea, simply offering a polite response before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you. You had stayed behind for a few extra seconds after his manager exited the room, once more voicing your admiration for Jihoon and letting him know you were looking forward to working together. Jihoon had to admit that your praise did something to him. He didn't mean to sound like a total loser when he said this, but he did not interact with girls too much. So receiving such direct praise on his music from a pretty girl who also happened to share a passion with him had his ears turning red. He quickly shook his head at the thought, deciding to just stay at the studio overnight once more and maybe finally go over the email his manager had sent him.

He had to admit, he was quite impressed. Shortly after your arrival he had decided to research you and your group. You were quite well known by then, having debuted the same year as Seventeen and now being one of the top girl groups in the game. Just like Jihoon, you were from a small company and had climbed your way up, eventually being acquired by Hybe just a few months prior. Your stories were quite similar, if he really thought about it. You had also taught yourself how to produce before debuting, taking on the official role of main producer upon making your debut.

He had found out an embarrassing amount of information about you very quickly. He couldn't help himself. He was immediately intrigued by you, even going as far as looking at online forums about you; places that would detail information about you that only a true fanatic would know. He was now privy to trivial information such as your birth year (one year after his), your favorite color (pink), how many moles you had (seven, total), when you joined your company (exactly two months before he joined pledis), your most popular fancam (the one were you wore that pretty purple top), and just general information he'd be embarrassed to relay he now had memorized. He could call himself a bit ... infatuated. He felt beyond creepy, despite all this being public information. He had just met you, why had he just spent the past three hours binging content about you?

Jihoon decided to shrug these thoughts away, instead opting to mentally prepare himself for tomorrow morning, which was apparently the first day in which you'd be meeting to talk over your future schedules together for the next month or so. He had finally checked the multiple emails his manager had sent him about the collaboration, realizing that he'd now have to spend most of his non-Seventeen allocated time with you.

From photoshoots for promo, to the actual producing of the song, the empty slots in his schedules seemed to have filled up on their own, now being occupied by your company, and much to his surprise, he was not annoyed at this sudden intrusion. He felt a weird feeling in his stomach, but it wasn't like the usual nerves he felt before going on an important stage, nor the grumbling he felt whenever he met an idol of his. He felt ... giddy? He was looking forward to it. He felt nervous to see you again, which was really strange considering that he felt completely normal upon meeting you just now. Yeah, you were very pretty (he had eyes, this was just a fact he couldn't deny), but he hadn't had much of a reaction to it. However, now, as he looked at pictures of you on his computer, he couldn't imagine holding eye contact again. He was going mad.

Tomorrow arrived sooner than he thought. Now he was now sitting in his studio, awaiting your arrival. He had impulsively tidied up the place, now embarrassed that you'd seen it a mess the day prior. He also tidied himself up. As he recalled, you were wearing a pretty dress yesterday, so he felt bad you'd caught him in sweats and a three-day-old shirt. He wasn't sure why he wanted to impress you, but he did. Jihoon had the hope of at least befriending you, now having formed some type of interest towards you.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, making his heart accelerate at the thought of who was on the other side of it. Upon unlocking it, he found you on the other side, smile on your face as you carried in some bowls of .. his favorite meal? into his studio.

"Hi, Woozi-nim! I brought you food, is that's okay? I asked Seungkwan what you liked," oh, so it was Kwannie you were friends with. That made sense. It was touching that you'd gone out of your way to get him something you knew he'd like. Now he felt bad at being empty handed in his own studio.

"Oh, I- Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem! Wanted to thank you for doing this. I know you don't do collaborations that often. Felt kinda bad about imposing," by now the two of you had sat down in front of his desk, chairs slightly too close for comfort as you unwrapped the food in the bags you'd brought in.

"You-you're not. Sorry if I made it seem that way yesterday, hah, I was just caught off guard."

Jesus Christ, he felt so awkward. Your close proximity had him at a loss. He didn't know where to look or what to say. Your perfume was also not helping matters. The pretty scent had him extremely distracted, his mind suddenly being flooded with the thought that, shit, everything about you was pretty. What was wrong with him? Was this his first time interacting with a woman? He had never felt more out of place, except that despite any improper feelings he felt, he still wanted to be in your vicinity.

"-Woozi-nim?"

Shit, had you been talking this whole time?

"Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

You chuckled at him, clearly not taking offense to his distracted nature, "I was just asking if you had any drafts you wanted to use as a baseline? Or we could use one of my unused drafts? It's whatever you prefer, really. I'd love to work with something of yours, though. I love your style, it's so ... hah, I don't know. It's just so you."

Jihoon thanked god he had not cut his hair as some carats had begged, because now the length allowed him to cover the red of his ears. A single compliment from you had him heating up, clammy hands getting even clammier at the thought of you using his talent as a compliment. If you wanted to use his music, there was just no way for him to deny you. He wanted to hear more of your praise to him.

"Y-yeah? I have uh, a few that I could show you. They're just drafts, but you know."

You visibly perked up at this, scooting even closer to him as he began to fiddle with his computer, opening up some files to show you. Your excitement at his work had him swooning internally. The amount of interest you'd been showing since meeting yesterday was already getting the better of him.

"Woozi-nim, holy shit. These are hundreds of files. Are these all unfinished?"

"Uh, yeah. I uh, tend to have a few drafts saved for future projects."

"I get that. Me too, but these have to be over 300 unfinished songs," you were in clear shock (perhaps admiration?) of the endless tracks in front of you. Jihoon wasn't sure if he should feel ashamed at having so much unfinished work (which made bit feel like a bit of a loser), or be proud since you seemed to be impressed at the vast number.

"I like to be prepared. You know, just in case."

"It's .. wow. I knew you were good, but this is insane, Woozi-nim."

"I, you can call me Jihoon," he didn't really care much for the distinction between Woozi and Jihoon at this point; he was pretty used to both. But a part of him just wanted to hear you call him by his real name; the one only those close to him really used. He also wanted an out from the conversation, feeling too flustered at your compliments.

You chuckled, nodding at him, "Okay, Jihoon. Sorry, didn't really know what name to go for at first."

"No, it-it's fine. I'm only a year older. You can speak comfortably."

The rest of the conversation was filled with technicalities about the collaboration. Now that you two had established a, let's say, closer acquaintance, you were able to discuss your ideas more comfortably. Jihoon still had to put up with the endless compliments about his work as you two went through possible tracks for the song, but he tried his best to take them like a champ, simply chuckling shyly and shrugging them off. Your genuine admiration for his skill had him reeling inside, enamored with the tone of your voice any time you'd express excitement at hearing exclusive Universe Factory content. He hadn't felt butterflies in his stomach like this in, well, ever. He felt like he was a high school student with a silly crush.

The disappointment in his face as you parted ways must've been clear (which made him embarrassed beyond belief), as you pulled out your phone and asked him to put his contact in, letting him know you'd be seeing him soon. The possession of your contact info made him excited. He knew it was probably just for work purposes, but he held a stupid hope in the back of his head that you'd given it to him because you had interest in meeting again soon.

And you did see each other soon, consistently meeting in order to work on the song. A few of the times you were joined by Bumzu (who was also helping out with the song), or Soonyoung (who was just a nosy bastard who wouldn't leave Jihoon's studio), which made him curse out his two friends, wanting you all to himself. His crush had developed quickly after that second meeting. You were now all he thought about. Every morning when he got ready to start his day, he wondered which shirt you'd like him best in. Would you like if he trimmed his hair or did you like it long? What did you like in guys? (Except had already gone on incognito mode on his phone to search your ideal type, growing instantly embarrassed and exiting out of the tab). He thought of you as he exercised, wondering if you'd like his muscles and physique. His entire existence was surrounded by thoughts of you. And he hoped maybe he was also in your mind.

The first time he saw you outside his studio walls was at the Hybe gym as he worked out with Mingyu, Soonyoung and Joshua. He almost lost hold on the dumbbells in his hands upon spotting you, tight leggings and cropped shirt adorning your body. He had seen you in less clothing before (Only ever through a screen, in all the pretty concept photos your group had done, or in the occasional fancam he'd come across), but seeing your silhouette in the flesh had all thoughts leaving his mind. He felt ashamed at his way of thinking. He didn't want to objectify you like that, but the thoughts of your beauty had not left his mind for two weeks now, since the day he first met you.

But his eyes couldn't be helped, glued to your form as you walked into the place, paying extra attention to the parts that stood out most for him. He was like a depraved monster, his breath getting ragged as he watched you move around, licking his lips and sighing at every small movement you made. God, what was happening to him? Why was he so immediately aroused? Luckily, his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a cough from a very annoying Kim Mingyu, who had just been spotting him before his abrupt stop.

"Hyung .. You're too obvious."

"Wha-what are you talking about?", he did not like the smirk attached to Mingyu's face, nor the matching mocking smile in Soonyoung and Joshua's.

"You should see him when she's sitting in his studio. It's sad to watch," snickered the fellow 96-liner.

"Oh? She's the girl? Damn, hyung. She's really pretty."

"It's not- there's no girl. We're just working together," his feelings were already complicated enough, he didn't need the involvement of his members' teasing.

"C'mon, Hyung! It's okay if you like her. She's pretty, she's an idol-producer. She's perfect for you. I think you should go for it," encouraged Mingyu, in his optimistic Mingyu-fashion.

"Yeah, I mean. You were just about to cum in your pants at just seeing her in some leggings. I don't think you have anything to lose if you're already at the point of public indecency."

Yeah, this was exactly why he wanted to keep them as far away as possible.

"Soonyoung, I swear to g-"

"Jihoon? Oh my god, hi! I didn't realize you were here," it was you, now at a closer proximity and a slight sheen of sweat attached to your skin. Had Jihoon not been snapped out of his trance earlier, he probably would've been salivating by now.

"Oh. Hi Y/N. How are you?", he felt like he was being scrutinized for his every word and move by his members, which made him feel extremely awkward (more than usual).

"Good! I didn't know you used the company gym. I'd never seen you here before. You should've told me. We could've come together," you smiled before turning to his friends, "Hi! I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you!"

Soonyoung made a show of stretching his hand out to you, bowing way too low for such a casual setting (probably just to peeve Jihoon). He was followed by Joshua, who held onto your hand in a way that had Jihoon fuming to himself.

"Hello, Y/N. I think we might've met before. You're Kwannie's friend, right?"

"Oh, right! Yeah, I've been to your guys' practice room before, but Jihoon didn't recognize me when we first met, so I wanted to re-introduce myself just in case," you giggled in Jihoon's direction.

"Don't mind him. That's just Jihoon. He's too distracted for his own good. I'm Kim Mingyu, by the way," the youngest shot you a flirtatious smile.

He needed all of them to keep the flirting as toned down as humanly possible. Although jealousy was not an emotion he felt often, the thought of his best friends even looking at you had his ears turning red in anger. But in very expected fashion, they all continued to take turns flirting with you for the next twenty minutes, completely shrugging off any intention of working out they might've had before having spotted you. Luckily (and surprisingly) for him, you were not reciprocating the flirting, nor where your eyes ever off of Jihoon for too long, always including him in your responses to his members one way or another.

You were somehow immune to the charms of Kwon Soonyoung, which, yeah, Jihoon didn't blame you for. You were also unaffected by Jisoo, which was a little more rare from Jihoon's experience. What shocked him most, though, was that your eyes still stayed on him even while one Kim Mingyu blatantly flirted with you. He'd known one too many girls who had fallen victim to his flirting (whether it be intentional or not), and to see you fully shrug him off in favor of looking to Jihoon instead had his heart going at an inhuman speed.

The interaction ended not too much time later, leaving Jihoon's ears red, but now from embarrassment at his friends slyly suggesting his interest at you multiple times throughout the conversation. Despite them being subtle about it, he was still mortified, specially when by the end of it, they'd pushed him to walk you back to your practice room while they wandered off on their own.

"I'm so sorry about them. They can be a bit much."

"It's fine, Jihoon. Don't worry about it. They were really fun. I can see how you're all so close."

"Ah, yeah. You know how it is .. Uh, sorry they kept hitting on you like that,"

he knew he was a bit of an idiot for bringing it up, but he wanted to gauge your feelings on it. He needed to know if he at least held a chance against his members or if you'd just been being nice by not reciprocating in front of him.

You chuckled as you responded, "I know they weren't being serious about it, Jihoon. Don't sweat it. It's not them I'm interested in anyways."

Oh, great. That was good to hear .. Wait. What?

"W-What?l"

"Oh. We're here. This is my group's practice room. Sorry I made you walk all the way here, I know your practice room is like five floors up," you apologized sheepishly, completely disregarding what you'd just said.

"I-it's fine. I'll see you on Thursday, then?"

"Thursday? We have a shoot tomorrow, Jihoon. Remember? We need a jacket shoot for the collab. It was on the schedule."

Oh, fuck. He had completely blanked on that. You guys were almost done recording the finishing touches to the song, but he forgot you guys also needed to do the shoot for the promo and learn the choreo as soon as you gave the choreographers the finalized version for the single. There was still so much to be done, which only meant even more time spent with you.

"Yeah, right. Sorry, hah, completely spaced out on that. I'll see you tomo-"

"Come pick me up?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, stop by my practice room so we can walk together? Is that okay?"

Did you- did you want to spend even more time with him? He wasn't complaining. He wanted all his time to be consumed by you, but .. was the feeling mutual?

"Yes," he paused, realizing his answer had been too short and mechanical, "I mean, yeah, sure, I don't mind. I'll see you here tomorrow morning."

You giggled at him before bidding your goodbye once more, but this time offering him a quick side hug before disappearing through the door to your practice room. Jihoon was glad you were gone, because this time it wasn't just his ears that were red, but his whole face had begun to resemble a tomato.

It was time to admit to himself that he was down bad tremendously for you.

Jihoon had not at any moment stopped to wonder what type of vibe the collaboration was meant to follow. Yeah, he was working on the song (which was almost finalized by now), so he knew it was pretty much a pop-rock-ish vibe that they were going for, but he didn't know what the rest of the equation would look like, which was something he wished he'd prepared a bit better for.

He had walked you over this morning, even being enticed by Seungkwan into bringing you your favorite drink as a nice gesture (which worked perfectly, as it won him over yet another side hug). The two of you arrived to the designated area for photoshoots located in one of the lower floors of the Hybe building, then went your separate ways to head over to hair and makeup in order to get your outfits situated. He had to admit he liked his outfit. It was a little more provocative than usual, with it being mostly black leather and the top being unbuttoned enough to show off most of his abdomen. It was your outfit, however, that had him reeling.

Nothing could have prepared him for the moment he stepped out and spotted you doing a few solo shots in preparation, your outfit and makeup already perfectly in place. He had no words to express how he felt upon seeing you. You looked so ... gorgeous. Unsure of how to react at the sight in front of him, he stood there staring, almost as if he'd seen an apparition. It wasn't until one of the photographers called him over that he managed to regain sense of self and join you.

The entirety of the photoshoot was absolute hell for Jihoon. This was the closest he'd ever been to you (sans the now two quick side hugs you'd given him in the past day). The shoot was a bit .. sensual in nature. The first set of outfits were edgier, so the shoot was the basic scenario you'd picture for a punk-rock pictorial. The second set of outfits had been the issue, because they went in the complete opposite direction. You were in a beaten down motel room setting, wearing very simple outfits, although they were both very skimpy and thin, almost as if to signify the simplicity of the concept. You two posed together on the bed, with your poses getting more and more intimate by the minute. At some point he had been directed to embrace you as he looked into your lips, with the proximity being way too close for comfort (or at least that's what he tried to tell himself). At another point he was kneeling on the bed as he looked up at you, your eyes simulating lust as you looked down on him, hand on his chin, lifting his gaze to yours.

The shoot had been an experience, to say the least. Jihoon wasn't sure how he survived it without breaking. He thanked the gods for the years of preparation with all types of shoots he'd done with the members over the years. However, completion of the shoot did not mean he was unaffected. He had no idea how he'd get the image of your lips so close to his out of his mind. Despite knowing it'd all been professional and strictly fake, he could've sworn he felt something every time your eyes would meet when at such a close distance. He wanted it to be real so badly, but once again he chalked it up to being wishful thinking. At least the worst of it was over, and he could now get back to sitting next to you in his studio at a respectable distance.

~

Jihoon had been an idiot to ever believe that the shoot had been the worst of it.

It had now been a week since the dreaded photoshoot (The one that had him up at night imagining what it would've been like if he had just closed the gap between your lips, damning anyone else in the room), and now it had been a few days since the song had finally been completed. He had thoroughly enjoyed co-producing with you, geeking at your ability to compliment each other perfectly. Your voice was yet another thing he had fallen in love with during the process, fully enamored by every single take you did. It had actually slowed down the process, as Jihoon green-lit every single one of your takes due to the rose-colored glasses that prevented him from catching mistakes you swore you'd committed during a few of the takes. You seemed to be similar, however, as you continued to shower him in compliments (even at the shoot, where you had complimented him with his hard work at the gym - a moment he chose to disregard or else he would've lost his mind at the implications), refusing to admit any faults of his while recording.

Now, however, he found himself in very difficult and unchartered waters. Any other time in which he'd produced a song, he'd never been involved further than that. He'd done duo shoots before, with women at that, but what he'd never done was share a choreography with someone who wasn't a member of Seventeen. He had danced with women before, of course, even having participated in more sensual dances, but this felt different. All previous times had been with nameless backup dancers he had never known too well. This was you. He now had to work through an entire choreo with you as the two of you danced around each other (physically and figuratively, he believed).

Most of the song involved a very casual choreo, as the two of you danced mostly separately but complimented one another. The kicker was the bridge of the song, where the melody mellowed out a bit and allowed for a quick dance break of sorts. It was very sensual in nature, and required you and Jihoon to tangle against each other as you used the other's body to complete the dance. Going over it had been full of shy smiles and eyes that couldn't seem to meet. It almost made him believe that you'd felt just as flustered as he did. When you actually began to dance over that part, however, you left Jihoon's mouth watering at how easy it was for you to meld your body to his; how you would guide his shy hands to place them in all the correct places. The feeling of your body against his was new and unfamiliar, but it felt so right to him. He wanted nothing more than to leave his mark on your skin, signaling that he was the only one meant to touch there. He was truly going mad.

It had now been about two months since Jihoon had first met you. The song hadn't been released yet, but most preparations for it had been done. All that was left was a quick music video shoot plus a few music show appearances that would come after the actual release of the song. Thus far, the song had been announced, with a pending release date of a month from now. Jihoon had enjoyed public reaction to the unexpected collab, with people even going as far as calling you a dynamic duo due to your respective reputations as the main producers of your groups.

You seemed to also enjoy knowing the news had finally broken to the public, even going as far as mentioning Jihoon in some of your lives. He specifically recalled a moment he'd seen as he watched it live, one that had him blushing and kicking his feet. You'd been asked about what it was like working with Jihoon, to which you responded with a whole paragraph of compliments directed at his work ethic, along with a short quip about how cute you found Jihoon to be, deeming it 'difficult to focus with him around.' He felt like he was on cloud nine at the comment, despite how lightheartedly you had delivered it.

After that (and a few more instances of you shooting compliments his way), he had decided he wanted to see you outside of a work-related schedule. He had begun making excuses to find himself on your group's floor, going as far as using Seungkwan and Soonyoung (who you'd unfortunately befriended due to his constant unwanted presence as you two worked on your song) as pawns in order to not be as obvious whenever he went to see you. Despite your usually outgoing demeanor, you seemed a bit more reserved whenever it was only you and Jihoon. He wondered if it was because of his quiet demeanor, or because you might've maybe returned his feelings and felt too shy to be too expressive around your crush - he knew damn well that was his case, at least.

Today the two of you were working out together at the gym - a huge feat for Jihoon, who could not help but ogle at you whenever you weren't paying attention - with him playing the role of your spotter. He had extensive knowledge of weightlifting, which he had been proud to impress you with. Right now, you were working on your arms, which required Jihoon at a close proximity in order to make sure you didn't get hurt. He enjoyed this way more than he could admit to anyone or himself.

"Is this okay? Is this the right position to do it?", you questioned as you made eye contact with him through the mirror. Your arms were lifted above your shoulders, with dumbbells on each of them as you attempted to lift them both at once.

"Yeah. That's perfect. Is it too heavy? Do you need to stop?"

"No, I'm fine, Ji, I promise. Just stand a little closer, yeah? I don't wanna drop them. And put your arms under mine?", he followed your instructions, now towering over you from behind as you sat in front of him.

The two of you had grown more comfortable in the past two weeks or so, seeing each other almost every day while outside of official schedules. He'd learned that, unlike him, you didn't have any issues with personal space, often allowing him to stand too close for comfort. He couldn't complain, though, as he was always too hypnotized by the proximity.

"Shit!", you yelped, almost dropping the dumbbell before Jihoon managed to intercept it. You had begun to do a set before the one minute mark passed, deeming you too weak to lift the dumbbell all the way up. Luckily, you had instructed Jihoon to stand close to you in order to prevent any actual damage.

"Are you okay?", he asked as he placed the dumbbells on the ground, rounding the seat in order to stand in front of your sitting form.

It was mind-numbing, really. The angle in which he was looking down at you, with your pretty eyes looking back at him with a semi-worried expression on your face at the shock of almost dropping such a heavy weight on yourself. The incident left his mind immediately at the sight of you, a layer of sweat covering your skin as you panted while looking up at him. He pulled you up by your arms, helping you stand in front of him. In very cliche fashion, you tripped a bit, almost landing on him before he caught you by your forearms. The classic 'falling-atop-your-crush' trope did not happen, but he still ended up at even a closer proximity to you. Just when he had finally begun to forget the sight of your lips right in front of his from back when you did the jacket shoot together.

He did not move back, and neither did you, allowing the small distance between you to fog both of your minds.

"T-thanks, Hoonie. Could've really hurt myself," this was the first time he'd ever heard a stutter out of you, with your eyes not looking into his as they usually did. Your closeness still not diminishing even when the danger of the situation had already dissipated.

"'Course. Uh, I .. Maybe we should go back to a lighter weight?"

It took you a moment to respond, eventually choosing to look back at him with your pretty eyes, a seemingly empty head to match. He liked the look on you. He could've sworn he saw your eyes lower to his lips, but his mind was too clouded to confirm.

"Uh, actually, I think im done for the day. Is that okay? I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Oh, right. Yeah. I'll meet you in front of your practice room?", he was confused at your sudden departure, dreading the separation, but he figured one of you would have to break the spell eventually.

"Yeah. See you there, Hoonie. I'll text you later, okay?", you gave him a quick peck on his cheek before turning to the exit, leaving behind a beet-red Jihoon as he tried to get his heartbeat to slow to a healthy rhythm.

He was left standing there, in the cold and empty company gym as he pondered as to whether or not his feelings may be mutual.

~

The next day the two of you met again, no mention of yesterday at all. What would there be to mention anyways? That you two stood close to each other? Jihoon felt like such a loser even having considered it anything. He was just inexperienced at this, and very much touch starved, so any small suggestive interaction had him overthinking. Like right now, as you hooked your arm on his to walk along the Hybe building together, not a care in the world about anyone who would see you.

"Did you see the outline for the music video?", you spoke up once the two of you had reached the cafeteria, picking a secluded table to sit at - not that many people wandered there anyway.

"Hmm. No, what is it?", he still hadn't managed to beat the habit of not checking his emails.

You giggled, seeming a little flustered, "Uh, we're playing a couple. Very Bonnie and Clyde but with a grudge twist. Seems pretty cool, actually."

"Oh. We-we're playing a couple?"

"Yeah. I think we can pull it off. You did really good at the shoot. Did you see the finished product? Okay, never mind. I know you didn't. They look really good, though. We look very convincing."

He knew you didn't mean anything by it, but you constantly had him wondering. If you liked him you wouldn't be this direct, right? This must've all been very lighthearted to you. Sure, you were friends, but that's where it all ended for you. Jihoon was the complete opposite. Every single interaction you had had him falling deeper and deeper into a hole of infatuation for you. There was nothing about you he wasn't obsessed with. It had begun to manifest in all areas of his life, even his work. He had never had more unfinished love songs in his hard drive.

Unbeknownst to you, he had purposely avoided taking a look at those pictures, knowing his mind would go blank at the image of you looking at him with those lustful eyes from a third-person perspective. Living through it already had him in agony night after night as he thought of nothing but you.

"Y-yeah. I saw them," he lied, "You did amazing."

"Really?", you were always giddy at his compliments (which didn't come often due to his shy demeanor towards you), "I've never done a more provocative concept like this before. It's fun. It suits you a lot, Jihoon. I'm glad I got to do it with you of all people."

And you had no idea how glad he was too.

Shooting the music video had somehow been even more agonizing than the photoshoot. It was two grueling days of constant time spent together. He loved your company, but the stylists kept insisting on dressing you in the most provocative outfits imaginable to man. He couldn't think while he looked at you. You were like a siren. Even the strongest of men wouldn't be able to resist you.

The worst of it came in the form of the director instructing you two to act like two lovers against the world. Word for word. It wasn't difficult for Jihoon to pretend he was enamored by you, but he was truly at a loss of words over how well you also played your role. By now he had become numb to your touch, having run through the choreography with you multiple times by now, and with you having become increasingly touchier through the time you'd known each other.

He thanked god under his breath as soon as the two days came to a close, knowing that now he could at least keep his feelings under wraps for a while. It was now about two weeks until the release of the song. According to the schedule, all that was left was one pre-recorded Studio Choom performance, two comeback shows after the release of the song, and two variety show appearances together. It was all pretty straightforward from now on. There was no way Jihoon wouldn't be able to put up with what was left. He had this in the bag.

The worst thing imaginable happened after that. Jihoon had not planned for this, nor had you, apparently.

It was very sudden and came completely out of left field. It pertained to you, but had affected Jihoon more than anyone involved.

Dispatch had released an article just a week before the official release of the song. Promotions had only begun, but had been slightly disrupted by this sudden interruption.

The article featured you, and an unknown man. They were clearly pictures taken off-guard, from a distance. You were in front of some building, ignorant to any cameras nearby. You were too close for Jihoon's comfort. He knew there was some type of relationship there. The caption to the picture didn't help matters either. Something about an estranged lover you'd been keeping secret from the media. There were too many pictures for Jihoon to process. In some you were embracing, while in others you were sharing a low-quality peck from what he could tell.

Seeing that article had been an absolute punch in the gut. There was no argument against it. There was clearly something between you and that guy. He was standing too close to you, even holding onto you in most of the pictures. You could barely tell it was you, but to Jihoon it was obvious. He had never felt heartbreak like this before. The two of you had never dated or even insinuated actual interest in the other, but it still felt like betrayal to him, as irrational as that thought was. It was all his fault, really. Had he told you about his feelings, maybe things would've been different.

Jihoon felt like an idiot. Of course this had all been just a business transaction to you. You were assigned to work with him, just as he was you. Even if he had led himself to believe that the feelings might've somehow been mutual, it had all just been in his head. What would you see in him anyways? Yeah, sure, you had a few things in common, but who in their right mind would ever want to be with the empty-hearted producer who cared for nothing but work. Hell, the day he met you was yet another day in which he had been willingly locked in his studio all day. That was what you would've been signing up for, had you looked his way. He didn't wish such a loveless relationship to anyone. He knew by now that he did- he did love you, but he knew he was probably unable to love you in the way you deserved. He was incapable of that. At 26, he'd had no experience with love. Why would someone as beautiful and amazing as you want to be with someone like him?

He was in love with you. That was something he could now full-heartedly admit to himself. Within these two months he had fallen deeply in love with you. Nothing could change that by now, not even knowing that you were already taken. He couldn't help himself in locking himself in his house after that, ignoring and all messages from both you and his manager regarding the few rehearsals he had skipped over.

Hybe did their damage control, making the situation go away as soon as it arose, but to Jihoon the damage had been done. He felt like an irrational idiot being hurt by this, but he needed to be away from you for a few days. You hadn't done anything to him, but he couldn't see you right now without feeling pain. He was punishing you with no proper justification, but his feelings were too strong for him to put up with.

A little over an entire day went on like this, with no communication from Jihoon to anyone. He was surprised no one had come looking for him until now, the moment in which bangs against his front door could be heard all the way from his room. Whoever was looking for him had made liberal use of the doorbell too, not giving him a single break from its constant ringing as he tried to ignore it. He finally grew too tired of it, deciding to give up his moping and going downstairs to beg that person to leave him alone to his misery. He still needed a few days before he could go face his reality. He couldn't face you just yet.

Except the choice had been made for him. His first mistake had been not checking the doorbell camera, which would've made him privy on who exactly was knocking on his door. He felt bad at thinking this, but had he known it was you, he never would've opened it.

He was beyond embarrassed at his appearance, once more wearing a three-day-old shirt and his cheeks damp with the tears he hadn't yet wiped away. You, on the other hand, looked as beautiful as ever. You carried a worried look on your face, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. He was not given time to welcome you in before you barged in for yourself, launching yourself at him in a tight hug before he could say anything. He wasn't an idiot, and he was too weak for his liking, so he held you back just as tight, enjoying a good three or so minutes of silence as you held each other.

You pulled away too soon for his liking, unhooking your face from the crook of his neck as you spoke up, still holding onto him, "Jihoon ... I'm so sorry. It's- it's not what you think, I swear. Please believe me."

He wasn't sure why you were so apologetic. You didn't owe him anything. He felt like even more of a loser at making you feel like you had to apologize for having a boyfriend. He knew that by now there was no way you didn't know about his crush on you, which made him feel even more humiliated at the situation. He separated himself from you for the first time ever, creating some distance as he refused to look at you. He took this chance to close the door he had left open when you had attacked him with your embrace.

"You don't have to ..."

"No, Jihoon. Listen to me. Please."

Your eyes were glossy now, and Jihoon felt bad at causing you any distress, so he signaled at you to continue.

"It's not- it isn't what you think. Yeah, I ... I did have a ... a thing with that guy. I know Hybe denied it being me, but you know- you know it's me. But it's not how it looks!"

"Then ... what is it?", he couldn't believe he was even letting himself ask that question, as if you had to explain yourself to him. But part of him really wanted to know. He wanted to somehow hear you say that it wasn't true, that you would never look at anyone but him.

"It's an old picture. He- he used to work for our group, as staff. We had a thing. It ended badly. Haven't really dated since then. This was before I met you, Jihoon, please, I need you to know that."

"You .. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need me to know that?", he hoped against all hope that you'd answer with what he'd been wanting to hear since he met you, but he knew he was playing with the devil when asking you that. He knew there was a very logical chance that you'd just confirm your platonic feelings for him, or straight up reject him.

"You know, Jihoon. I know you know. I- I'd never do that to you. I'd never look at anyone but you."

"Do you-"

"Yes', you paused, 'I like you, Jihoon."

And then his heart stopped beating.

"So much. Since we met. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the day we met. I like you so fucking much. I can't think of anything else. I thought it was just because I've always been a fan of yours, but ... being around you just made me feel so happy. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Fuck, I'm sorry I made you feel like there was someone else in the picture."

He didn't know what to say. You'd said everything he had wanted to hear for the past two months. You liked him. It wasn't one-sided. There was nothing stopping him from making you his now. Those feelings he thought had been fake for the portrayal of your song's concept had been genuine all along. He'd never felt such relief.

"Jihoon? Is it not ...? Fuck. Did I misread everything? Shit, I'm sorry. I should, uh, I should go-"

Fuck. No! He needed to reciprocate, he just had no idea how. He couldn't have you thinking he wasn't equally (if not more) obsessed with you. So he did the one thing he could think of in that moment. Something he had imagined time and time again, but never had the courage to do.

You yelped against him as he pulled his lips to yours, but immediately began kissing him back. There was nothing tender about the kiss as Jihoon would've expected. It was a complete mess from the start. The kiss was a testament to how badly you'd both wanted each other this whole time.

Jihoon felt lightheaded at the feeling of your tongue sneaking its way into his mouth, and the moans that accompanied it. He couldn't help but feel immediate arousal at your touch. He wasn't sure how to kiss you. He'd never shared such a passionate exchange before, but he wanted to give you everything in him with his kiss.

You only pulled away when you were out of breath, still keeping yourself as close to him as possible as you breathed into each other's mouths, your lips lightly closing over his as you regained your breath.

"Hoonie ..." the sound of your breathless voice muttering his name did shameful things to him. There was no way he could handle a conversation right now.

"Tell me- tell me you like me. I need to know. Please ..." the sheer lust and desperation in your voice were things that would never leave Jihoon's mind.

"So much. I li- I love you. You have no idea. Every day was agony not acting on it. I'm sorry if it's too much, but it's true. I've never felt this way before. I'm in love with you. The thought of you with someone else made me wanna give everything up. It's ... God, I just love you."

You didn't seem to need any more words before closing the gap again, this time backing him up against the nearest wall as you kissed him with all your might. You took full control of the kiss, grabbing his cheeks and angling him so you could play with his lips as you saw fit. He moaned and writhed against you, shyly attempting to hold onto your waist but not actually daring to. You must've caught wind of his intentions, grabbing onto his hands and forcing them on your waist, pressing your chest up against his. He began to caress your waist, falling in love with the slope of your back in the process. He was still shy with his movements, but his lips were nothing but. He adored your soft sighs against his lips any time his tongue would suckle on yours, or any time his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip.

You must've eventually grown tired of his shy demeanor, grabbing onto his arms and pining them above his head, beginning to softly grind against him as you began to lick and suck at his neck. Jihoon was on cloud nine. His body was unsure of how to react to such pleasure from someone he had already grown so addicted to.

"Hoonie ... want you so bad ... please," his knees buckled at your begging, your warm breath hitting against his ear as he groaned out at the thought of you in his bed.

He was simply a shell of himself at that point, so it had been your responsibility to drag the both of you in the direction he pointed his bedroom was at, but as soon as you were there, you pushed him to lay on the bed. He was ready for whatever you were willing to give him. He had no chance against you anyway.

"Hoonie, shit. Been wanting you for so long. Can I, please?", you'd begun to straddle him, leaning over him as you ghosted over his lips. He swore he wasn't going to make it, body heating up at the mere suggestion of you touching him.

"P-please ..."

You began kissing him again, running your hands up and down his torso, eventually landing on his crotch, softly caressing it as he whined into your mouth.

"Oh? Jihoonie ... You're so hard. Want me to help you?"

"Fuck ... Need you so bad, please ..."

"But we haven't even started to have fun," you moved your hand away, now sitting up a bit to begin grinding against his crotch, deep movements making his eyes roll back as his arms laid limp on his sides.

"Won't you touch me, Hoonie? Don't be shy. You already know how much I want you," you guided his hands to your hips, making him clamp his fingers on the clothed flesh while you moaned out at the feeling of his hard cock gracing your most delicate parts.

You were both beginning to heat up, which led you to throw your shirt off, now only in a bra and some sweats. He audibly moaned at the view, only causing you to play it up for him as you caressed your own covered breasts, "Want me to take my bra off, baby? Hmm?"

"Y-yes. Wanna see you so bad. You're so beautiful."

That was enough for you to wiggle your way out of your pants, throwing off your bra right after. The sight had his cock squirming under you. No amount of lonely nights thinking about you could have ever prepared him for the sight before him. Your soft skin shining under the soft light of the half drawn blinds. He wanted to memorize your body, leave his mark on every inch of it, but his arms would not move from your hips. He knew that the moment he got his hands on you he would finally face insanity. There was not a single detail he wasn't already obsessed with. He wanted you so badly, but he didn't know what to do with himself. His cock was extremely swollen under his sweats, begging to find comfort in any crevice of your body you would allow. The fleeting thought of fucking your pretty tits flew through his mind, making him shudder as he continued to pant at the beautiful girl sitting on him.

"Touch me?", you asked, already guiding his hands to your breasts, making him sit up to be face to face with you.

"Holy fuck ..." he moaned at the warmth of your breasts in his hands. He couldn't help himself in getting his fill of you, hands squeezing and running all over your chest. The moment he dared to pinch at your nipples he truly saw heaven, hearing you whine his name in the prettiest sound he'd ever heard.

"Hoo-Hoonie ... Please. Touch me more. Just like that," you let your head fall back, sighing at the soft touch of his fingers pinching at your nipples, "Your mouth, Hoonie ..."

That was all he needed to lower his head and begin licking at your nipples, biting lightly as he pulled at them, dick twitching desperately at the pretty sounds leaving your lips. He could've sworn he'd cum just from how beautiful you sounded. His ears were ringing by now, only able to process the feeling of your hand pressing his face against your chest and your hips suddenly restarting their movements against his own.

You let him make out with your tits for a bit before pulling him off, much to his dismay. You giggled at his reaction, but began to pout at him to get him to remove his top.

"Shit. God, Hoonie, you're so gorgeous," you breathed out upon seeing his bare chest, running your hands up and down the blank canvas. You let your own fingers pull and pinch at his nipples a bit, slow in your movements as he whined at you. He understood now, how fucking good such a light touch in such a sensitive area felt. He was beginning to lose all air in his brain, mind foggy as you gave him all types of pleasure.

He needed you now. Needed attention in his nether area so bad. He could feel how wet you were through his sweats, softly begging you to please let him have you. The whisper against your ear had you pulling your hands away from his chest, separating yourself enough to look into his eyes.

"Want you too. Can I have it, Hoonie? Fuck ... Will you judge me if I beg? I just ... Want you in my mouth so bad, Hoonie, please."

He felt embarrassed by his reaction, but he couldn't help but moan loudly at that simple sentence, nodding like crazy at the proposition. The last time he'd been in someone's mouth had been years ago. He had felt intimate touch before, but only a handful of times total. He was fully unprepared for what your mouth encompassing him would feel like.

Before he knew it, you had thrown off both his pants and boxers, enticing him to sit at the edge of the bed as you knelt in front of him. You were looking at his cock as if it were your last meal, eyes crossed and a moan leaving your mouth at the sight. He couldn't believe a gorgeous thing like yourself would ever show so much thirst for him. His soul left his body the moment you lowered your tongue onto his tip, kitten-licking at it as you looked up into his eyes. What truly made him lose his mind, however, was the moment you began to bob your head up and down his cock, with your hands playing and scratching at his balls. His hands clutched at the sheets, unable to hold himself in a sat up position due to the unimaginable pleasure. He was unsure how he didn't cum the moment you put your mouth on him (or the moment you kissed him, if he was being honest).

"So- fuck ... So fucking good. You're perfect. Please ..." he wasn't sure what he was begging for. The pleasure was clouding his mind. And then you did something that had him gasping for air. You unglued your mouth from gagging on his cock in favor of licking and sucking at his balls. His eyes rolled all the way back into his brain, back arching against the bed as you took turns licking his balls and worshiping his cock.

Unsurprisingly, he came in your mouth moments later, almost blacking out at the feeling. He was unable to catch his breath for a good minute, all the while you swallowed his seed and sat back on him. Before he was able to resume his breathing, you had already shoved your tongue back in his mouth, making him whine at the mixture of your saliva and his cum twirling in your tongue. He couldn't help his hands running all over your body, hugging and squeezing at every curve he could reach.

"Baby, I-"

"Taste so good, Hoonie, fuck. You have no idea how much I thought about that. Every time you wore those tiny little shorts to dance practice all I wanted to do was kick everyone out and beg you to fuck my mouth."

Jesus Christ. He hated how outspoken you were sometimes. He felt himself begin to harden again at just the simple thought of you wanting him as much as he did you (even though he was 99% sure that was impossible). He felt bad, but he was a bit sad he had cum in your mouth. He had thought of the feeling of your cunt wrapping around him almost every night for the past month. He knew he'd get it sooner or later, but a sinister part of his brain was begging him to flip you around and go to town on you. He might've been inexperienced, but he knew that his body would take him there if he needed it.

"W-wanna ..."

"Hmm? Yeah, baby?", you softly caressed his cheek, looking at him with so much love in your eyes.

"Please ..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt too ashamed at asking for even more out of you when he'd already made you do all the work to confess and even made him have the best orgasm of his life.

"Yeah, Hoonie? Want me? Want you too. You have no idea ..." he thanked god the moment you started grinding against his bare dick yet again, leaning down to lick at his lips, "Can I ride you, baby? Please ... Been dreaming about it."

All he could do was whine and nod as his hands squeezed at your ass, trying to entice you into lifting your hips so you could finally sit on his now hardened dick.

No words left his mouth as you finally lowered on him, all his focus on the pretty expression on your face as you moaned out at the feeling of being impaled by him. His back arched, head digging back into the mattress at the feeling of your cunt tightening around him. He felt your back arch too as you leaned down to kiss him, mouths open as you whined and mewled at each other.

You began humping him with no proper rhythm, causing him to thrust upwards to meet your own grinds. He was so desperate for you. Nothing compared to how good he felt in that moment. Your body was drawing all types of pleasure out of him.

"F-feel so good. Hoonie ... You're so- Ah! So fucking good for me."

"Me? You ... Shit. Never felt this good. You're perfect," you tightened at his words, making him plant his feet on the bed and begin to frantically fuck upwards, leading you to scream and whine his name for all his neighbors to hear.

"Love you so much- Fuck! Been wanting you forever. Didn't know how hard I'd fall for you that day, shit. You're everything to me," he couldn't help himself in rambling yet another confession in your ear as you attempted to match the animalistic pace of his thrusts.

"Love you too, Hoonie. You have n-no idea. Never letting you go. You- you're mine now," and yours he wanted to be forever.

Jihoon had never imagined he'd feel love like this as long as he was alive. He had lost hope in finding the perfect girl many years ago, assuming his lifestyle to be too difficult for him to find someone to love him so strongly, but now he had you. Now he had you in his arms as you professed your love for one another. He had never felt such happiness. His ability to think left him soon after, however, as you clamped down on him with yet another scream of his name as you found your end, taking him with you in his own.

After the two minutes or so that it took you to regain your breaths, you managed to cuddle up against each other, unable to stop caressing each other in one way or another. The smiles wouldn't leave your faces. Jihoon couldn't help but think of his life; how he had everything a man could ever want, and now he had you on top of all that, and you'd quickly become his favorite thing. You spent the rest of the day in his bed, making love and waxing poetic at one another. You completely disregarded any collab preparations for the day, opting instead to finally give into each other to the fullest extent.

Soon after, all promotions finally ended. You and Jihoon received equal accolades on your ability to mix both your styles, achieving a successful collaboration between two monster producers. The praise over being all rounders was also endless, as people commended you both for the production, vocals, dance, visuals and chemistry demonstrated all throughout the promotional period.

People noticed how comfortable you were around each other, despite having never publicly interacted before the release date of the single. People believed it was simply amazing work ethic being showcased by the two of you, but what didn't meet the public eye was the genuine love and enjoyment behind every interaction. The two of you had made it a point to begin appearing publicly together often from then on (strictly as friends to anyone who asked, of course), which allowed you to hide your relationship in plain sight.

Jihoon had never been happier, now having you as yet another companion to visit him at his Universe Factory any time he would lock himself in there to work, a habit that began to diminish as he grew more and more addicted to your company outside the confinement of those four walls.

Today was yet another one of those occasions, as you were sharing yet another meal together at the Hybe cafeteria. Staff was mostly unaware of the nature of your relationship, but you two liked it that way.

"Hey," you called out to him as you played around with his phone.

"Hmm?"

"Did you see this email from Bumzu?", he shook his head in denial, "He said Hybe's requesting your help producing for Gyu's collab with Jungkook. Cause of how well ours did."

"Yeah?", he chuckled, "Gonna have to talk to him. Not doing it without you."

"Oh, really?", you grinned at him, "Wanna team up again?", you leaned closer to him, but not too close to draw suspicion from the few other idols and staff around who were eating there.

"Mhm. You did most of the work. Couldn't've done it without you."

He knew that to be completely true, as he would've remained in his slump had you not come out of left field to make his life do a 180.

"Wanna team up with you for the rest of my life."

You smiled at him. He could see in your eyes you wanted to show some sort of affection towards him, but could not due to the public setting. All it took was one look between you for him to know you felt the same. You held his hand under the table, going back to conversation about your next possible collaboration together with your other labelmates, happy to have found a soulmate in one another.

a/n: idk how other writers are putting out 20k+ words monsters jesus christ. anyways i rlly hope u enjoyed <33 this concept had been plaguing my mind for a while so im rlly happy to have finally finished it!!

[senelope]

wish i'd never met you (s. gojo x f!reader)

famous!gojo x reader ; 7.4k words ; angst / smut ; minors dni

You dream of stage lights and sold out shows. But all your voice provides are little jingles – for cat food advertisements. All of that changes – in the best and worst ways – when you meet Satoru Gojo, who owns the life you can only fantasize about. And, someone who knows a thing or two about bringing your fantasies to life.

The sky was dyed with a dusty pink hue as the sun set, and yet another work day came to a close with you frustratingly slamming your laptop closed. Yet another disappointing melody.

How were you supposed to be a famous artist if you couldn’t even finish a song first? 

And that wasn’t even the job you were at. To pay the bills, you pick up odd jobs here and there, most recently being a freelance voice actress for an up and coming organic cat food company. Meowmy! You’d screeched in a high-pitched voice until the co-founders – famous idol turned business woman Nobuko Takada, and her manager, a large man named Aoi Todo – were happy. 

“You wanna come to our surprise birthday party?” asked Nobuko at your last recording session, winking, sending the invitation to your phone, which vibrated in your back pocket. 

“Oh, happy birthday,” you said, sliding your headphones off and walking out of the recording studio.

“Not hers,” Aoi said, when you were standing beside them in the recording studio. The lights from the machines hurt your eyes; you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night trying to write new songs you hoped would either go viral or get you an agent. “It’s for my brother, Yuji.”

“Yuji Itadori?” you asked, brightening. Takada was a well known idol, so there did stand a chance that her manager was related somehow to the famous martial arts actor who was currently taking social media by storm.

Aoi brightened, making the burly man look far more approachable. “That’s him.”

“Hey,” began Nobuko, excitedly. “Weren’t you looking for a replacement performer? Since Gojo canceled at the last minute?”

You gasped at the name drop. Satoru Gojo was a media sensation – a down right superstar. Starting off as the bright center to a boy band named Honored Ones, then establishing rockstar success with his chart-topping album The Honored One announcing his solo career debut. He’d next taken the acting world by storm, and with his martial arts abilities, was also known to be Yuji Itadori’s mentor, Satoru himself having been the one who scouted him while on a trip where he also scouted the reserved Megumi Fushiguro as a soulful singer. 

But you didn’t want to give in so easily. And especially without hearing a contract mention or a price quote. You had to look after yourself alone, so you had to prioritize yourself first.

So you cleared your throat, and asked what they’d pay you. The price that Nobuko said made your eyes bulge, especially when you registered the even higher price that Aoi said immediately as Nobuku finished. She tilted her head in Aoi’s direction.

“Nevermind, then. What he said,” she said, sliding her giant designer sunglasses over her wide golden eyes. She tightened her ponytails after stretching. “We’ll send the performance money soon as you walk through Aoi’s penthouse.”

You gulped. This wasn’t the first-time the wealthiest of your clients reminded you of their overflowing pockets. “I’ll see you there. Do you want covers, or originals?”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” she said, not looking at you as she began to leave, Aoi right behind her, holding her purse and car keys. 

“Do whatever you want.” The duo left, and you decided to spend the remaining half an hour you had in the studio – it charged by the hour – on trying to record new original songs you might perform. 

But, by that time, the sun was setting and you had no worthwhile melody to show for it. 

Looks like covers it was. Oh, well. Satoru wouldn’t mind if you covered his songs, right? Plus, he wasn’t even going to be there. At least you were used to belting his songs in the shower, so not much time would go to memorizing and practicing. And it had the added bonus of having absolutely nothing to do with cat food. What more could a girl ask for?

Satoru didn’t have the bandwidth for this. His manager was talking about how he had to stop his homewrecking tendencies – in fact, keeping up with hiding them was costing them all the royalties that still came in from his debut. But how was he supposed to do that when the men and women who caught his eye just deserved his touch, regardless of what shone on their ring finger. Oh, whatever. 

“Alright, Suguru, I got it,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “You’re ruining my appetite. I needa be hungry for Yuji’s birthday bash. I gotta eat lots of it. I mean, I chose the cake personally.” He reconsidered. “Well I told Todo what to order –”

“You’re not going,” Suguru said, flipping his smartphone – the newest electric blue one of the folding line Samsung came out with in collaboration with Satoru – closed with attitude. “But I still am. It’s your punishment.”

“But I’m performing,” Satoru said, sputtering. “C’mon, Suguruuu!”

“Canceled with Todo this morning. You are going to spend your evening crafting an apology statement for sleeping with both of Jogo’s wives. His current and his ex!”

Satoru snickered. “They married him for his money anyway. I was the one gracious enough to give them some of this co–”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Suguru said, waving his hand. “You have a reputation. I don’t need you reminding the public of it so soon before the announcement! So no more fooling around. With anyone.”

Satoru felt any drop of joy he had from remembering about defiling Jogo’s ex and next disappearing. Of course, he had to be reminded of his obligations. 

When he and Suguru had been young and dumb and had signed the first contract that allowed them to break their boy band contracts and do what they wanted to do then – debut Satoru as a solo singer and Suguru as his manager. They had thought they were older and wiser – but apparently, they weren’t mature enough to think ahead to what a ten year representation contract might mean. No matter where you wanted to take your career – Satoru opening a performing arts school where he was one of the main instructors, and Suguru opening his own management studio – you couldn’t. 

But – they’d finally managed to negotiate something. The absolute last thing that Satoru wanted to do. But what choice did he have? He had to free both himself and Suguru. And besides. He’d ignore it for as long as could, until the day he couldn’t, whatever day the higher ups decided was the day of the life-altering announcement.

He pouted, trying to remove all thoughts of the horrible thing from his mind and focus on the matter at hand. 

And, as predicted, Suguru weakened. He sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Fine. If you finish writing the apology and get it to me by the time the party ends, you can come. No performing though, too late to change our mind. And please. I’m begging you – no scandals! The only ‘sweet’ thing your lips better be on is a frosting covered fork.” Suguru said, sounding like a tired father and a stern teacher at once.

Satoru cheered, jumping up and down while Suguru rolled his eyes and said something mean about his monkey-like-behavior. 

“I’ll shove a banana up your ass,” Satoru said, ceasing to a slow stop, but still smiling. “If you call me a monkey one more time.”

“All I said is that your fans shouldn’t go to the zoo if they’ve been to your concerts anyway,” Suguru said, smirking. 

Satoru flipped him off as he left Suguru’s office to head home. 

His media trained ass was going to have to pull out all the stops for this apology. Yippee , he thought bitterly. 

Near the end of this hard, hard work, while editing his apology statement to fit the character requirement for Twitter – Suguru required him to construct the apology in several different mediums, from a tell-all Youtube apology script to a buzzy headline for the publishing company they’d sell the letter – he thought of his canceled performance.

He’d actually been looking forward to it, but that was more so because he missed having an audience. His world tour had ended a few months ago, and he and his ego missed the crowds yelling his name, sold out stadiums full of people begging for him to meet their eyes just even once. 

“Who’re they gonna get as cool as me,” he remarked to himself irately, blowing a strand of his silver hair out of his eyes. The competitive feelings that suddenly filled his body fueled him to finish his apology assignment in the nick of time, wrapping up medium after medium. He’d now get there just after his probably-shitty-and-ugly-replacement started their performance. 

The sounds of a familiar bouncy bassline fills the halls of Todo’s very excessively decorated penthouse. Animal print shag rugs, tacky gold statues of dogs in suits, and shiny glittering chandeliers, to name a few characteristics that leave Satoru’s more fine tastes wanting more decorum. Courtesy of his upbringing as the heir to an old-money family whose bloodline was as old as Japan itself. 

It was his newest single, the one that was topping charts. Except, instead of his deep, raspy voice, rang a sweet, sultry one. 

“ You don’t love me / you just steal my clothes / live in my house ‘cause I can’t say no, ” the voice sang, having apparently reached the catchy chorus. 

And when he finally reached Todo’s rooftop terrace – where the performance was taking place on a circular neon blue stage with Tokyo’s skyline as a backdrop – he finally saw the voice of the absolute siren singing his song.

You. 

“ When we fuck, shit it feels like love / feels like love, and it’s so messed up ,” you said, swaying to the beat with your eyes closed as you sang the song with a softer, more sorrowfilled intonation than Satoru had felt comfortable voicing. Your eyelashes fluttered as you opened your eyes, and it was almost like your gaze and Satoru’s were paired like magnet poles, meeting the second your beautiful lens revealed themselves. 

Satoru’s heart stuttered to a stop for one fateful second. And he reeled it back into beating, because never in his life had Satoru ever struggled to breathe when meeting someone new. Especially not a girl who stole his song. 

You weren’t expecting your idol to treat you so frostily. The entire night had been a whirlwind of events that felt as if they’d been written straight out of your dreams – compliments upon compliments, someone had even ordered you a bouquet, recording deals with both big and indie studios – except for how Satoru Gojo was looking at you. 

And that was if he did! He didn’t even look at you when Yuji – who had loved your performance for his surprise birthday bash – introduced the two of you. 

“Great choice,” Satoru had said, staring at a spot above your head. Being so damn tall, he looked down on you, but didn’t even meet your gaze from his ‘honored’ height. 

“T-thanks,” you had said, too nervous to say anything more. He was feeling some imperceptible emotion that led him to ignore you for the rest of the conversation that you, Yuji, and he were in; you were basically just a spectator. And Yuji, bless his ignorant bright eyes, didn’t see how talking about last year’s Met gala bathroom antics would leave you – the least famous person in this room – out of the conversation. 

It wasn’t till a handsome man with waist length raven hair inserted himself into the conversation that you were acknowledged. 

You thankfully held back a starstruck gaze when you met eyes with your teenage crush, Suguru Geto. Of course, you were no longer the girl you had been when the boy band’s bass player with feline eyes had charmed you – mostly because you refused to be like every other girl who favored the leading singer Satoru – but it took real strength to hide that past.

“And who’s this beauty?” Suguru questioned, meeting your eyes with a sparkle in his eyes. You flushed immediately. 

To your surprise, Satoru answered with your name, shocking you with the way your name fit on his tongue. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Suguru said. “So you were the siren singing Satoru’s song.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” Satoru blurted. 

Everyone looked at him. You were the first one to twist your head to meet his crystal blue eyes, their icey wide depths freezing you to your spot. It was an entirely different feeling to meeting Suguru’s warm, dark eyes.

“No, you didn’t,” Yuji said slowly, thick eyebrows furrowing. 

“I thought it,” Satoru said, crossing his arms. 

You ignored his response, and tried your best to gracefully thank Suguru.

“I was your biggest fan,” you gushed, unable to finish your gratitude without singing a song to your youthful infatuation. 

“Were you?” Suguru said. “I guess you’ve come full circle. I’m your biggest fan now.” 

Out of the corner of your eye, Satoru impatiently tapped his foot. 

“Listen,” Suguru said, reaching in behind his blazer, and coming out with a thick, cream colored card. He passed it to you. “Keep it on the low, but I’m starting my own studio. And I want to sign you.”

You gasped. All the blood in your body traveled either to your cheeks or to your head. You were shocked beyond measure.

“Really?”

“Really, really.” 

“Thank you so much,” you said, clasping your hands together while your face uncontrollably contorted into one signaling exceptional gratitude.

“I’ll train her personally,” Satoru suddenly said, just as Suguru’s mouth opened. His manager gave Satoru a look as he made a face, something between confusion and disbelief.

“Just like me!” Yuji said excitedly, before anyone could object. 

“Um, are you sure, sir? Are you not, well, busy?” You wished to ask if he even liked you in the first place, for he hadn’t made any indication of enjoying your presence. But this was the more socially acceptable way of asking.

“Not nearly enough to resist instructing the next generation!” He said, in a familiar cheery voice you were used to hearing on talk show interviews and conventions. 

Well … You decided to forget about his earlier treatment of you, hoping it was a fluke. After all, this was Satoru Gojo. Biggest star to grace the stage since rock artist Yoshinobu Gakuganji, the worldwide phenomenon of the generation before. You would be a fool to turn down his mentorship. 

And so, you shot him your brightest smile. You had high hopes, and you hoped that this was the beginning of the rest of your dream life.

Satoru was blinded by your beauty. He had done his best to resent you, his replacement, the new talent. Especially after he had heard you singing his song better than he could have ever dreamed. But, he knew that the harder he tried to force his hate, instead, the harder something else would grow.

Namely, his cock. 

Even though he had promised Suguru no scandals, that the only thing that would be in his mouth today was cake – he couldn’t help but want some other sweet cake to devour. Yours.

He couldn’t help it. Anyone he deemed on his level – usually after some more dramatic reaction, which in this case happened to be an immature resentment towards you that hardly lasted even a few minutes – he wanted to nurture, to own, even. 

It of course took Suguru’s entrance and observation for his initial frostiness to dissolve. 

“And who’s this beauty?” Suguru asked, reminding Satoru that not only had you sung his song the way it should’ve been recorded all along, you were also gorgeous to boot. All your lines and all your curves drew out a figure he wanted to memorize with his hands. Or maybe his tongue. At least his eyes were lucky enough to try.

So, to his surprise – and apparently yours, too, judging by the way your mouth adorably parted and your eyes widened – he answered with your name. He resisted saying anything more that could – and would – be a giveaway to the new direction his thoughts were going in.

“I’ll train her personally,” Satoru suddenly said later, further surprising himself, and Suguru too, judging by the questionable look his best friend gave him. 

“Um, are you sure, sir? Are you not, well, busy?” 

Sir? Well, fuck him, then.

“Not nearly enough to resist instructing the next generation!” He said, in his favorite voice to use when charming audiences. 

And that’s when you blinded Satoru with a wide smile. Your sweet lips trembled shyly as you met his eyes, and he resisted the urge to lick his lips. He chose to smirk instead, which makes you redirect your gaze to your toes. He made you nervous, huh? What a sweet little thing. How could he have chosen to hate you? You were just what he needed – an innocent, new sparkling talent for him to sharpen and shine. He imagined your rise to stardom, and imagined how everyone would look at his latest, sexiest protegee. How everyone would cheer when he kissed you, when the nation’s favorite man laid his lips on the newest national sweetheart. He didn’t think about the arrangement to come at all. His cock pulsed as blood rushed to his crotch, and he hoped his buttoned blazer hid his staining erection. 

“I’ll have Suguru text you the details,” Satoru said flippantly. “I have my own recording studio at home. We can practice there.” Suguru rolled his eyes, but got to work immediately, whipping his work phone out and texting the number you spelled out since you didn’t have a business card of your own. “I’ll see you then.”

The week that sandwiched your first meeting and your next flew by quickly for Satoru; a Vogue photoshoot followed by recording his surprise appearance as a celebrity judge on a cooking show filled the early half of his week, the latter half consisting of chemistry readings for the pilot of a new drama where his role hadn’t been decided yet, so he had to perform multiple different combinations of the scripts.

By the time your bright and bushy tailed excitement greeted him, though, he was tired. And he guessed it was plainly evident.

“Are you alright?” you asked sweetly. “I could get you a coffee if you’re tired?” 

“Aww, no, I couldn’t have the new talent fetch me a coffee!” He laughed brightly. “I’m already more awake now that you’re here.”

“You’re such a charmer,” you said, rolling your eyes, and crossing your arms, directing Satoru’s attention to the furrow of skin between your breasts deepening. He sucked on the top row of his teeth, imagining digging them into the soft skin there, leaving bruising bite marks on the silky spheres. “Do you talk to everyone like this?”

“No, just you,” Satoru said, grinning. He flicked your forehead gently. You giggled. Satoru wished they’d already been recording; he’d have loved to have trapped that delicious little sound into a few seconds long audio clip. What a cute lil alarm noise that could’ve been.

“Sure, sure,” you said, turning away from him, though not before Satoru saw the edges of your flushed cheeks. “Where do we start?” 

Satoru came close behind you, grabbing the hand most on top of your crossed arms. He pressed his palm to the top of your skin, his heart pounding as he did so. He moved your joined grasp to rest on the center of your chest. He smelled your shampoo scent as he leaned down to talk near your ears. The jut of his plush bottom lip brushed against your ear with every low vowel. 

“Breathe,” he instructed. Your chest rose slowly as you sucked in air according to his instructions, and fell with a faster speed as you exhaled. Some of Satoru’s bangs tickled his forehead as your breath rushed out. “Repeat it, but slower exhale. Control it. Then, I want you to hold a note for as long as you can. Whatever one you want.” 

You listened, and did so immediately. “What a good girl,” he told you. Your voice wavered, and he wondered if the beat he felt through your hands from your chest was your heart skipping a beat, or your voice straining to stay steady.

“T-thank you, sir,” you said. Satoru wondered if your words were respectful – or teasing. He was hoping too much, he realized, and he stepped away from you, releasing the heavy tension the moment held, lightening the mood in the room immediately.

“You’ve got a clear voice, and strong lungs,” Satoru said, turning away from you as he adjusted his pants without you noticing. “Impressive.”

“Thank you again!”

He laughed, petting your head with soft pats before he realized he was lifting his hand to do so. He rolled with it. “No need to thank me. Call me Gojo-sensei if you respect me that much,” he said, winking. 

Now you laughed, another sweet, addictive melody for his ears. Your giggle now had a companion in his mind’s radio. “Okay, Gojo-sensei. What’ve you got to teach me? I’ve had enough of your compliments.” 

“Oh, really? Not fond of praise?” Satoru asked, teasing.

You bit your lip. “That’s not what I –” You giggled again, making Satoru grin. “I’m excited to learn, Gojo-sensei.”

Oh, gods be damned. He shouldn’t have asked for it. But he had. Now he had a long list of other things he wanted to beg you for. 

He cleared his throat, wishing it would clear his dirty mind too. He had promised to teach you. So he redirected his efforts, and tried his best to redirect his blood to his brain. Worked somewhat, but the tingling desire between his legs as the two of you spent the rest of the day – and well into the night – talking and singing and writing together. 

Satoru hadn’t been this happy writing music in so long, and even wrote something he was confident was his best work yet throwing ideas with you. Maybe he needed to spend more time as a solo musician before completely redirecting his talents to acting and instructing. No, he’d done enough to establish himself as a singer. He wanted to expand what he was known for, and solidify even more his reputation as the greatest performer of today. 

You were the future. You’ll be a shining star, he thought, one that blinds everyone with your brilliance.

“Thank you,” you said genuinely, turning your head away from him as you packed up for the day. He realized belatedly that he’d accidentally spoken aloud. Gods, he hadn’t complimented someone like that in ages. “That means a lot to me, coming from you.”

“I thought you were Suguru’s biggest fan,” Satoru said, teasing you, squinting his eyes, unable to help himself from reminding you of your words that still had him jealous. He was used to being the favorite. And even if Suguru was his best friend – he wanted to be your favorite. 

You sighed. “I … I have a confession.” You put down your now packed bag. You looked back into Satoru’s eyes.

“What?” He leaned forward, hovering closer to your face as the two of you sat next to each other on the couch in his office, having moved there long ago. Oh, he was so curious … 

“ You were my favorite,” you blurted. “I just wanted to be – not like other girls.”

Satoru couldn’t help it. First he was shocked. Then, once he realized your logic, he started to laugh. So hard he even brought a few tears to his eyes. You whacked him on his arm. 

“Don’t laugh at me!”

But as you went to bring your arms back beside you, Satoru caught your bunched up fingers in his much larger hand. He squeezed your fist. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Satoru Gojo was your favorite. Him, and nobody else. Oh, he was so glad. 

Your face burned as Satoru reminded you of your little white lie. That Suguru was your favorite, a lie you’d shared with many others when the topic of their band arose. 

That burn didn’t compare to the one spreading across your cheeks and up your neck from your chest as Satoru laughed.

And that burn didn’t compare to the one roaring in your heart as Satoru squeezed the hand you’d used to hit him jokingly. 

Neither of those hot feelings compared to the burning fire between your legs when Satoru used the hand he was holding to pull your face close to him. His left leg pressed against your outer thigh, sending another flash of heat to your core even at the slight contact. 

His breath ghosted over your lips, and your eyes met. The hungry look in his pale gaze conveyed the message. You’d have to be the one to bite the bullet he’d loaded. And so, heart straining from the combined joy of your past and current Satoru Gojo obsessed self wanting this moment to never end, you kissed him.

Instantly, Satoru transformed. From the first gentle contact of your lips, he was a perfect gentleman for all of three seconds, trapping your bottom lip between his. But once he began sucking, he couldn’t stop devouring you like a man without any decorum. He inhaled you as he kissed you, bringing you close to his body, tangling his arms around your back as he sank into the couch and you fell down with him. You twisted your body to lay more comfortably against his, realizing too late that that would mean unimpeded contact between your cunt and his cock through your clothing. 

The two of you gasped at the combined warmth, which made your teeth clink against each other. 

“You want me that bad?” you asked, shocked by the sheer size of his wanting. The absolute hardness that pushed against you, almost sending you to a mental institution by how his cockhead just about pressed against the crotch of your jeans to catch your clit temporarily when he shifted. You moaned as if to punctuate your observation.

“Ah,” Satoru breathed, his hands flying to cup the round curves of your hip. Your top had ridden up, and so his palms were touching bare skin. He squeezed, electrifying your sensation of his touch as he pawed at your softness. “I think you want me just as bad, baby.”

He slid his hands up from from hips to your waist to your chest, groping them like they were clay he wanted to mold to the shape of his grasp. He palmed them once more before lifting your shirt and ridding you of it. 

Your breasts wobbled when they were subsequently freed from the confines of your bra, and you watched Satoru lick his lips hungrily. 

“But don’t worry, baby,” Satoru said silkily. “I’ll take real good care of you.” He kissed you sweetly to prove his point.

Then immediately dirtied his mouth when he took a mouthful of tits to his teeth, biting down gentle enough to not hurt but hard enough to make you moan. You stretched your neck out, throwing your head back. 

“You made me so hard,” Satoru said, breathing heavily as he removed his mouth from your right breast, a string of spit connecting the two. It popped when he got far enough. “How do you plan on fixing that, hmm?”

You whimpered when he reached his hand down to feel your cunt through your jeans. Your clit pulsed, and you knew Satoru could feel it like a heartbeat. He wasted no time in ridding you of your pants, and you lifted your hips to help with the removal of your panties right after. 

“Oh, ‘Toru!” you cried out. Satoru had immediately started to explore your secret spot, parting your folds and using his fingers to collect some of your slick. He sucked it off his hands, and you got wetter, something you thought was impossible judging by the shine you had seen gathered on his thick fingers.

You trembled with desire. “Satoru. I want it. Please!” You found yourself begging.

“I’m not quite sure what you want, sweet,” Satoru said in a sing-song voice. 

Whatever restraint might’ve been keeping your mouth clean snapped. “Please, give it to me now. I want your cock inside me, now. Please!” You were near sobbing, especially as Satoru continued to play with your cunt by pressing against your clit in a rhythmic manner. 

“Bad girls don’t get to tell me where my cock goes,” Satoru scolded, slapping your bare pussy. You let out a wild cry. 

“Satoru, please,” you whined, pressing yourself into him even more. He flipped the two of you to create some space between your crotch and his. He threw your bare legs over his shoulders after ridding himself of his pants. He didn’t even return his fingers to your cunt, which made you sick with nostalgia for the mere seconds earlier when he was playing with you so deliciously. 

“Oh, darling, I know you want it. And you should know, I really want to just put it in right now – god, I do – but you have to wait…”

You closed your eyes, tilting your head back against the cushions.

“Aren’t you going to ask why you’re a bad girl?” 

“Why am I one?” you asked, giving in, opening your eyes. You saw Satoru’s bright, mischievous gaze, sparkling with delight as you responded just the way he wanted.

“ Sir.” 

“Why am I a bad girl,” you said, gulping, “ sir – Satoru?” 

“Aww, because you didn’t ask me what I want,” he said, cooing. 

You pleaded to him, begging to know what he might want to do with you. Anything would do – the burning between your legs was an uncontrollable wildfire, and there was only Satoru who could put it out. 

“I want the same thing, silly,” Satoru said, leaning down to nuzzle into your neck. “Was just’ teasin’ you, yeah.” You shivered as his silver strands tickled the sensitive skin there. You yelped when he nipped at a spot there, before immediately cooling it down with his tongue tracing over it, leaving the tingling spot cool and wet. 

But there were other wet tingling spots for Satoru to pay attention to. 

He began fingering you in earnest, the motions of his fingers making squelching noises fill the room of his office. How lewd! You almost had forgotten where he was making you this weak. But who needs the bedroom?

“You’re so sexy,” Satoru murmured, crooking his fingers just so. “Makes me want to ruin you.”

“Ahh, Satoru!” you screamed. “Please, please, do whatever you want. I just wanna – ugh!” You were babbling nonsense as something built inside of you, like blocks laid atop each other to form a steep tower.

“So sexy, screaming for me. Trembling for me like this,” he said, using his other hand to press against your bare stomach to feel your body shaking from the overwhelming feeling of it all. 

Something was building inside of you, yes. And it was about to topple and break in just a bit, judging by just how hard your legs were shaking atop his shoulders, the skin of your thighs sticking and unsticking against Satoru’s sweaty chest. 

“Look so pretty coming apart on my fingers,” Satoru cooed, looking down at you with hazy, lidded eyes. His bright blue eyes were darker than usual by the dilation of his pupils, and honestly, the absolute adoration in his genuine gaze – of course, combined with his fingers – sent you over the edge. 

You couldn’t even say a word as the strongest orgasm you’d ever felt knocked the wind out of you. You shook and you shook and you shook with waves of pleasure. It was pure euphoria. 

If that was just from his fingers, then … 

Satoru seemed to have the same question. “What’re you gonna do when it’s my cock instead, pretty baby?”

Like a broken record, you couldn’t help but beg again once you regained your breath control and the shaking had subsided. 

“I’m gonna kiss you real hard,” you said, looking at his bitten red lips, shining with your combined saliva. Oh, god. It was hitting you, really, that you had done that. You were the one kissing Satoru Gojo. You were the one finger fucked by Satoru Gojo. And now – 

Satoru took off his jeans, then his boxers. Whatever train of thought you had crashed and burned as you dropped your jaw. Of course the most beautiful man in the world would have an equally beautiful cock, thick and arched, precum coating the pink tip like frosting begging you to take a lick. 

“So,” Satoru said, his voice getting a little more serious. “You still want this? If you say no, we can pretend this never –”

You arched up to kiss him square on the mouth. Hell to the no – why would you deny yourself heaven? Parting, chest heaving, you trailed a finger down his muscled abdomen and then down his pale happy trail, stopping right as your finger approached his fat tip. 

“Fuck me, Satoru,” you said, earnestly. 

Satoru kissed you gently before aligning himself with your vagina. He slotted it at your folds, and then just like that, his tip was slightly inside you, easily gliding in with how wet you were. He shook a little, and inhaled in a deep breath. Every little movement of his hips, no matter how intentional it might’ve been, rubbed at your skin down there. You can tell Satoru was doing his best to hold back, doing his best to stop from savagely thrusting into you and splitting you open with his monster of a cock. 

But you want him to. You couldn’t take it anymore. You tilted your hips, and again, because of just how wet you were, he slid in halfway quite easily. He whispered your name, his voice breaking roughly at the end. 

You stared up at the expression of ecstasy on Satoru’s face. His eyelids drooped. His shiny spit slick mouth parted. 

“You’re inside me,” you said slowly, bringing your hand to cover your face. Satoru moved it away, and instead kissed you, the movement pushing his thickness further into you. You groaned as your walls strained to accommodate him. “Fucking me.”

“N-not yet,” Satoru said, voice hoarse. He pushed all the way into your tightness. You screamed, he groaned. “And not even now.”

“It’s enough, it’s enough,” you said, eyes starting to water. “I’m going crazy.”

“Oh,” Satoru breathed, when you clenched tight around him. “I’m makin’ you crazier. Now.” He lifted himself out of you, and thrust back into you with a thwop. 

Slowly, after that first thrust, his actions became faster and smoother. Satoru showed you no patience, no gentleness, no matter how much he had wanted to and had been planning on it. He fucked you roughly, like you were two animals rutting. You called out his name again and again, no plans of stopping even as your voice grew rough with use. 

Just as you were about to cum – your walls were fluttering around Satoru as if to signal – Satoru pulled out of you and came on your stomach, flinching as warm stickiness pooled and dribbled down your waist. 

That was the first time you fucked Satoru Gojo. And that was not the last. 

Moving forward, the two of you were insatiable. The weeks leading up to your album release party was filled with debauchery. 

You blew Satoru in the recording studio Suguru rented to record the tracks; Satoru was supposed to supervise. But of course he’d rather cum on your chest. So, supervising soon turned into lewd moans and sticky thrusts that the impressive sound system captured. Satoru was careful to delete the footage – and of course, who would know he’d saved a singular copy on a flash drive just for him to listen to – just you, and you didn’t mind. 

And even after the album release party – at the after party held in the most packed club in Tokyo – the two of you couldn’t hold back. When everyone had gone to the dance floor, and just you and Satoru remained in the closed off lounge area, he pulled you into his lap and slid his cock into you, crumpling your short mini skirt to your hips and pushing aside your thin thong. Being aware anyone could come back any second, Satoru fucked you while he covered your intimate connection with his leather jacket draped over your thighs and dragging on your sweaty skin. When the two of you heard voices coming closer, once even hearing Suguru’s drunk laughter come too close for comfort, the two of you stilled under the jacket. Even in that moment of cessation, you could still feel Satoru’s cock inside you, so hot and pulsing. Satoru’s gasping breath was a treat for your hearing, and his swirling hips underneath you were a treat for your cunt. Thankfully, when Satoru and you came, the music in the club was loud as it had been since the start of the night, even louder if possible at the peak of the night, and so the two of you could groan in earnest. Plus, when the two of you got home that night, there was no stopping Satoru from taking you in every which way he desired. It was crazy how no matter what you two did, he was never tired of you. Never! 

Until one random day, a Tuesday you didn’t think was anything remarkable except for the fact that Satoru hadn’t wished you a good morning like he usually did. You were walking down a busy street in Shibuya, in dark clothes, with a mask and sunglasses hiding your face now that you were an up-coming celebrity. Then you overheard the gossip that would irreversibly change the course of your life.

Did you hear? Satoru Gojo is going to be marrying a descendant of the royal Japanese family, Princess Utahime Iori. What a fairytale!

You stopped in your tracks. 

Like a crazy person, you reached for the person who said that, frantically grabbing onto their shoulder. Believably freaked out, they flinched away. 

“S-sorry. I’m just, so, so shocked by what I accidentally overheard,” you said, trying to appear normal. “What did you say?”

“Oh,” said the stranger girl, feeling more amicable now that you’d explained yourself. “You know that famous singer-actor-everything? Satoru Gojo? He’s getting married to royalty! I mean, he basically is, too–”

“Is this for real?” You weren’t sure if this was as false as the rumor that Satoru had a foot fetish. He had a variety of kinks, but not that one. 

“Uh-huh!” said the girl’s other friend. “They just did a press release! Satoru’s quitting the performing industry to be a family man, and Suguru’s officially opening his own studio! They even signed that new singer that’s blowing up right now,” she said. Hearing your name didn’t shock you, compared to how this news felt like. Like a bucket of ice water, like a brick to the face, like something violently wrenching you out of your head and straight to reality. 

“Thanks for telling me,” you said, gulping back tears. You turned away from them, and immediately hailed a cab. At first, you intended to go home and cry your heart out. But quickly, you knew that you had to talk to Satoru first. 

The entire drive, you sat tensely, your stomach in knots. What could Satoru possibly say? There was a fucking press release, apparently. What explanation was there? You hoped he had one. You weren’t sure you would react rationally otherwise. 

The knot in your stomach tightened further when you saw how many cars were parked around Satoru’s place. Getting in without attracting attention would be difficult, but thankfully, you guys had been fooling around enough for you to know exactly how to do so. 

Before you knew it, you were in Satoru’s bedroom (sans the mask and sunglasses, which you’d put away in your purse). Sitting in the dark, like, again, a crazy person. This man was making you go crazy! You called him, and when you went to voicemail, you sent him a text asking him to come up to his room, praying that he’d see it. Anymore stress and you’d start sprouting gray hairs.

His door creaked open, and the lights came on in a flash. 

“Woah!” Satoru said, jumping back. He quickly entered the room again, closing the door shut behind him. “When’d you get here?”

“I texted you,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “What’s going on?”

Satoru looked at you with an indecipherable expression. He loudly sucked on the top row of his teeth. Then, he spoke. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”

“I didn’t ask what’s wrong, I asked, what’s going on,” you said, crossing your arms. “I heard something about a press release.” Your tone was flat. 

“Oh, yeah,” he said, giving you a tight smile. “So you heard.”

You didn’t say anything. You wanted him to do the talking.

“It’s no big deal, really,” Satoru said. “It’s an arranged marriage, so we can keep seeing each other–”

“Wait,” you said, flabbergasted. “You’re serious?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “Why wouldn’t I be? We – hold on. You cryin’?”

You didn’t realize that tears had pooled in your eyes and were now streaming down your face. 

“Sweetheart,” Satoru said, in a voice entirely unfamiliar to you. Everything about the man in front of you now was unfamiliar to you, actually. “We were never official. So, I don’t understand –” You slapped him across his face, as hard as you could. Before you knew it, you were punching his chest while you crumbled into sobs, not even speaking a real language besides wails and cries. Surprisingly, he let you hurt him. 

Eventually, though, you stopped. You were utterly deflated. You felt like a fool. But you had to know, right? That it was going to end this way. Suddenly, your mind flashed back to the innocent days of being a fan and seeing headlines in gossip magazines – and the occasional think piece – about all the notches on Satoru’s belt. 

“You’re right,” you said, flashing him the same tight smile he’d given you earlier. You closed your eyes, purposefully missing his reaction. No matter what he had done, you still didn’t want to see him hurt – or worse, not hurt at all.  “We were never official. So let’s end whatever this is.” You took a deep breath, and once you felt steady in your stance, you opened your eyes. 

Again, that indecipherable expression. 

But, when he spoke, you quickly realized what it might signify.

“Alright. If that’s what you want. I’ll see you at the wedding, then,” he said. 

It signified this: he didn’t care. At all. This meant nothing to him, compared to what it meant to you.

Your heart crumbled as much as you had earlier.

All along, he didn’t care…

“Goodbye, Satoru. I’ll see you around. Let me know what you want for your wedding present.” You wouldn’t be a crazy person any longer. You pulled your sunglasses and mask out of your bag, and walked out of Satoru’s room. And, effectively, Satoru’s life.

In the cab ride home, you had one thought and one thought only: I wish we’d never met. What a grand, impossible wish. Almost as impossible as having had this relationship with your celebrity crush, you reminded yourself. This was fated to never be. You should start to accept it, and focus on your career. 

Afterall, you thought, strengthening your resolve. What better way to show Satoru that you didn’t care – than to flourish without him in your life. Suddenly, you remembered your original dream. Stage lights and sold out shows. Not a silver-haired blue-eyed cocky motherfucker who knew just how your body ticked. 

You wish you’d never met him, but it was better that you had. Because now you could show him – no, scratch that – show the world just how committed to your dreams you were. Just as Satoru had said oh-so-long-ago, you were the future . Satoru was old news. 

Just like he’d said, huh. 

You’d be a shining star, one that blinds everyone with your brilliance. 

For your sake, you had to be. 

i hope you enjoyed! this is also on ao3. and i have a hella long author's note on there. lol. header is from kukkoro knight (manga). xoxo penelope

[twopoppies]

"I would like Harry to be remembered for his great songwriting skills, his voice and the great performer he is, but everything is so overshadowed by the rest that in 20, 30 years I don't know if he will be remembered as one of the greatest of our generation (and he deserves it so much). I just think there's too much noise overshadowing his music"

I'm the say ranting anon as yesterday and I was gonna leave it at that but I saw this and I think is an interesting topic so I'm gonna rant a little bit more (sorry in advance).

It's impossible for anyone to know how is Harry gonna be remembered 30 years from now but what we can do is trying to compare him with the artist we consider legends today.

Lets take Elton John, Freddy Mercury, Prince, George Michael, Madonna, Whitney Houston and David Bowie for example... Each and every single one of them is considered a legend, the most successful in their field, the ones current artist use as inspiration and what they aspire to be. You know what else they have in common? Careers full of rumors, cheating scandals, drugs scandals, gay scandals, failed marriages, fake marriages, money problems, etc, etc, etc.

But those are no the things they're remember for, at the end their music and their art is soo good and made such an impact that all the "noise" sorrounding their careers just take a passive role.

I mean, as a fan, leaving through the rumors and all the nonsense is annoying as fuck and I would love if when I spoke about Harry people ONLY asked me about his music because he is so much more than his supposed girlfriends but what can I do?

And of course it is possible to be successful in the industry without playing the game, I wasn't trying to imply Zayn isn't but there's levels to that success, at least in the eyes of the general public.

Like let's be honest, all 5 of the boys has had a successful solo career so far but which one of them is more likely to achieve the legend status your anon is talking about??? Everyone under the sun knows the answer is Harry.

And why is that? It's not because he's has a powerful voice or because he's an excellent lyricist or because he's and incredible performer. Of course he's all that. But the reason he has achieved so much and is probably get the legend status someday is because how his team has marketed him. I'm sorry but without Columbia and the azzoffs Harry wouldn't be where he is today 🤷‍♀️ They're horrible people but they sure as hell know what they're doing and Harry is happy with their job and where his career is going so...

Yep. Marketing really does make a difference.

There’s something unquantifiable about the artists you mention, though. Take Madonna, for example. Cyndi Lauper came out at the same time. She had a much better voice. Her singles were huge. She had a great look. She definitely had fans (still does), but Madonna had that extra something that drew the masses in and kept them there (and oh my god did she have scandals and gossip galore—some of them very purposely manufactured).

And I agree with you about the Azoffs/Sony/Harry’s team. They’re taking him where he wants to go.

In reference to this

[astroyongie]

The Boyz March Reading 2024

note: please take my words lightly

Sangyeon

Love: without any doubts this man is currently going through a harsh breakup. the person he was with was his everything and someone he wanted to be in an endgame with however it does seem like his mental health got in the middle of this relationship and ended up breaking things up for him, unfortunately. 

Career: his career is going a little better, considering everything, it does sound like Sangyeon has a very good sponsor that allows him to have outside opportunities from the group and develop himself whenever he will need to by himself. in another words, expect this man to have some stuff going on this year 

Self: he is trying to be a practical man and not allow his health to get the best of him and not allowing his personal feelings to tangle between his job and his prioritizes. he is focused on his career and on his wealth and financial background and for this he is putting on the stake everything he holds dear 

Jacob

Love: Jacob is equally going through the pain of a past breakup at the moment, although on his case there's still pain but he has forgiven himself and the other person for the mistakes that has been done, he has a lot of inner monologue that is dark and self down putting and he truly needs to work on his self worth, because at the end of the day, it wasn't his fault. 

Career: he's going through a tough period for his work as well, because his mental health and his emotional immaturity makes him mess up stuff that makes his managers a little irritating. he is trying to work on that but his self doubts make it hard

Self: he is seeking justice for his world, for his situation in particular. he probably feel like the world is against him but Jacob is also someone with positivism and he is trying to find meaning behind things 

Younghoon

Love: at least for him things are going well. He is in a healthy relationship and things are going very well. for anyone asking, the person he is in a relationship with isn't a celebrity and they are a close friend of his circle. They have been together for a while now. it is probably the person he was with last year around the same time 

Career: things are a little complicated here, mostly because Younghoon has a vision of what he wants to do with his career but his sponsor is opposed to this and they want him to keep the same image he has and keep the same work he  has been doing so far. it frustrated him a little 

Self: he feels like his potential is limited because of his career choices and path. i feel like Younghoon probably wants to go out of the idol situation (probably make solo music, more acting or more modeling) he needs change but he lacks any plan that gives him long term success for it 

Hyunjae

Love: he is in a complicated phase of his love relationship. because he is with this person but he feels a little stuck with the situation they are in, because his partner isn't ready to take steps that he wishes to take, to make things more official between them. They lack communication.

Career: the way some doors have been closed shut to his face simply because Hyunjae is someone hard to deal with as an idol. not because he is irresponsible, btu because he treasures and wants perfection and boundaries and most sponsors don't offer him that which makes him someone hard to work with 

Self: his physical health is probably not at the best at the moment, but his mental health is also taking a downgrade because he has been doubting his potential a lot lately. he probably has big dreams and yet he feels like he hasn’t the potential to reach it 

Juyeon

Love: Juyeon is equally in a relationship but the things are way quieter, more secretive. It doesn't feel like he wants the world to know, not even people close to him so he tries to keep it hidden, this decision is also probably because he doesn't want to be tangled in dating rumors with a fellow idol.

Career: it does seem like Juyeon had a big fight with another one of the members (from what i have picked up it was haknyeon) with whom he havent spoke ever since and with whom the conflit still lingers, botha rent on the same page when it comes to their feelings which makes the whole thing complicated. 

Self: he is overcommitted and that is hard for him. He has so much to think about, so much to do for the group and for his image that sometimes reality gets him hard. Juyeon is someone that cares way too much about public opinion and that impact his whole being 

Kevin

Love: this boy is in love, in a relationship and thriving!! and let me tell you, the amount of love that can be felt here, the beauty of this person, the beauty of this relationship! this is definitely something that has the potential to be a long term successful relationship until the end 

Career: he is happy. with the group, with his sponsors, with his work, with his fans within the boundaries and the image he has created. kevin is the pinnacle of an idi that is healthy and happy with his current situation 

Self: he has been a little bit stressed out overall he is fine. He spends a lot of time with his friends outside the group and he is able to balance that life. might be partying a little too much tho 

New

Love: Another member that is going through a very harsh period of breakup and broken heart. Although he tried to hide it a lot, Chanhee has been having some troubles sleeping and focusing on himself with how affected he is. this is temporality, he just needs to accept the feelings 

Career: at least in his career he is lucky. His sponsor has been scratching a lot of good things for him and thus expects him to shine bright this year. also Chanhee has a good relationship with the other members and with people inside his company 

Self: he tries to stand out with a masculine energy, he tries to show that he is capable of things and that he isn't to be taken lightly. Chanhee doesn't like his idol image and he wants to be considered as someone more manly and serious 

Changmin

Love: Boy is having a whole monologue of internal conflict because the person he likes and wants for himself is someone off limits and someone that he shouldn't be seeking. however he loves them and he still desires this person and because of that he doesn't know what to do. follow his heart or stay wavy for his own good 

Career: the way he has been judging everyone and everything inside this industry is just hilarious. but also, Changmin is super clever and all the decisions he makes are backed up with a well thought out plan. even his image, the way he portrays himself. this man is someone who knows how to get the good side of the public 

Self: he has been dictating his own choices, his own thoughts. he is healthy, both mentally and physically, he is thriving and enjoying listening people rant about their shity life because it makes him feel more alive (this might sound harsh but i am literally just allowing my fingers to write down all the energy i can capture)

Haknyeon

Love: he went through avery negative period of his life with his partner, where things got violent, there was way too much happening, too many arguments, health issues mingled in the middle and just overall bad energy  however it does seem like him and his partner workout the difference and they fought this moment together 

Career: he is feeling a little out of place, a little vulnerable whenever he is around Juyeon ever since their argument. there’s a lot Haknyeon Wants to say to him but he doesn't have the courage to restart a fight 

Self: he is focusing a lot on his inner peace, on his mental health because he knows that if he is capable to have that in check, then he is capable to go on with life without worrying about the meaningless things that usually turn his days bitter 

Sunwoo

Love: this guy is drinking in three different cups. Well, he has drunk in one that he has managed to leave it abandoned somewhere, the other one is rather tasty so he keeps close while his focus has been on the new one he has acquired. This writing might be weird, but again I am just mechanically writing what I see. to sum up. Sunwoo is single but he has been seeing three different people lately. 

Career: he thought he would change his game this year but it does seem like his sponsor changed their ideas recently, to hit him with the same music again. he is a little frustrated because he needs some change for his career but he isn't getting it for now 

Self: however he is happy with his life, he is okay with things as they are since he has found some stability on his days, his routine is allowing him not to think and to focus on things and release his frustration in healthy ways 

Eric

Love: he is in a  relationship but his lover isn't in korea at the moment and that makes him a little frustrated because each time one of them has to travel so they can see each other. despite that, they have progressed in their relationship and they are working to keep it healthy and steady 

Career: he is rather anxious about this work. The comebacks, the torus, the shows, all of this gives him a  lot of anxiety due to his fear of failing but also because he feels like he isn't the idol people think he is. the image he has to maintain is complicated for him

Self: Erik is definitely someone that suffers a lot from anxiety and some short of depression that deserves to be treated and looked upon. he needs to have more support for that part of his life

[plotbunnybreeder]

Sing Me Your Truth

Punk Rock AFTG AU no one asked for.

Neil is an unwilling ghostwriter for Riko's band, the Murder Flock. He's the songwriter behind all of their greatest hits, but his favorite songs, the songs he's truly proud of, he's kept hidden. He's also a long-time secret fan of the Murder Flock's rising rivals, the Runaway Foxes.

Andrew is the lead singer for the Runaway Foxes. While the band was Aaron's idea, Andrew was never going to let his brother be the primary attraction for groupies -- or the primary target for haters. The Runaway Foxes let each of their members release an album of songs they wrote, which is one reason why the band has had a slow-but-steady career. They may have fewer fans than the Murder Flock right now, but they have far more die-hards.

To spice things up, the Runaway Foxes announce a fan album where fans can submit songs they wrote for the band to record. The songwriter will get full credit for their work, and the ability to meet the band in person for the recording.

Neil is desperate to be a part of the album; he's already written multiple songs he wants the Foxes to perform. Participating is a clear violation of his contract with the Flock, though. Is indulging his fandom worth risking Riko's wrath?

Fun Lore after the Break

Andrew can play practically any instrument extremely well, but never does so on stage or on the Foxes' albums

The Foxes' fans call themselves "Havens"

The Flock's fans call themselves "Feathers"

The Murder Flock is signed to a secretly Moriyama-owned record label, shells out for videos and promos, and largely follows trends

Neil's favorite album of the Foxes is their least successful album... and Andrew's album

Andrew titled his album "Fuck it IDC" but it consists of the band's deepest, rawest songs

Renee is the band's lawyer and occasional background vocalist

Kevin is the band's drummer and always wants to rehearse one more time

Aaron wants to play bass but plays guitar because Andrew won't

Matt plays bass

Allison is the band's second guitarist and plays longer, flashier solos than Aaron does

Dan is the band's manager

Nicky handles the band's PR

[brucequeensteen]

thought quastion you have likely already pondered but wish to ask: would your little band guys survive the terror? also, would your little terror guys survive the mid 20th century music industry?

this is such a good question i actually haven't considered it before which is crazy but. its a delightfully bizarre combination let's get into it. considering the monkees are mostly based in california i think they would be severely unequipped to go to the arctic, but once you get past that barrier... the order of deaths would be micky (frighteningly skinny, delicate constitution, far too good-natured and optimistic to live very long in a horror survival situation) , then mike (also even more frighteningly skinny but more scrappy and had a less plump and sheltered childhood than micky so would pull through a little longer, but he is for sure succumbing to either scurvy or the extreme conditions), then davy (he's a trooper he's working class he's fearless he's british so more fitting to canon. he probably wouldn't back down from cannibalism if it means he might survive. unfortunately he will die from lead poisoning 3 years into the expedition because he is small and his body won't recover). leaving peter to die last may seem like favouritism but he is probably the most final girl coded of them all and the least likely to get lead poisoning, eat poisoned human remains, antagonise tuunbaq and get ripped to shreds, or abandon his crewmates to go die alone from exposure. i just see him carrying on through til the end. but also eventually dying. SAD

as for the terror guys in the 20th century music industry HELP HELP LOL!!!!!!!!!1 most of them would NOT make it in the first place (edward little and george hodgson im looking at you), a lot of them will be succumbing to pressure and promptly dying from drug abuse or going into hiding or going bankrupt (first that comes to mind is billy gibson rip king) . some would rage quit early on george harrison style but without making a solo career comeback (tozer and crozier amen) . there are 3 characters that would absolutely thrive: hickey because he's an attention whore and a straight up regular whore, fitzjames because he's a diva and a magical girl and the jimin/paul mccartney of the terror, and lieutenant john irving who would have a semi-successful career as a 70s christian folk singer without too much exposure but with a very devoted fanbase . i can't consider the implications of putting them in The Box the monkees head 1968 style because that's just too crazy. but i do want to trap them in a time loop so thank you danny for making me think about that

[kittyball23]

Reaction (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: How did each brother feel about Floyd's capture?

A/N: Requested by troll_fan_broppy on Wattpad 🙂

__________________________________________

As soon as he’d shut Rhonda’s side door and was settled at the driver’s seat within her interior, John Dory leaned his head against the steering wheel. He felt a need to go back and catch one last glimpse of his younger brother before he set off on his departure. It just didn’t feel right, leaving Floyd behind so that those weirdos - Velvet and Veneer - could do as they pleased with him, depleting him of his talent and quite possibly imposing harm!

But then JD’s rational side kicked in. There had been no other choice. Nothing could get done to benefit Floyd if he’d just stayed there in the vanity room, continuing to try and fail at breaking the diamond. Leaving him and retrieving their remaining brothers was the only way to get at least one step closer to having Floyd be free once again.

John Dory sighed, sneaking a glance at the old BroZone cutouts that he’d held onto for some time, and catching sight of himself, Floyd, and the rest of their bros all together and happy. And that was when his determination shoved its way to the forefront of his emotions. “All right, girly,” he called to his caterbus, slipping his goggles over his eyes and firmly gripping the steering wheel. “Let’s get a move on!”

Rhonda gave a little whinny, rearing up on her hind legs for a brief moment and then obeying JD by galloping off and away from Floyd’s place of capture. John Dory would get the rest of his brothers, and he knew exactly where it was that he would commence his search for a certain blue-haired, baby-faced Troll…

__________________________________________

“I am NOT go-ing.”

Branch rolled his eyes. Here he was, thinking that he had been considered the baby of the band, when now it seemed that the roles were very much reversed. He spoke his words slowly, emphasizing each syllable in hopes that the airhead known to the world as John Dory - and known to him as his brother - would finally get it through his big noggin that he was not in no WAY going to be a part of this journey.

“But Branch, you gotta!” John Dory whined, not at all sounding like the grown adult that he was supposed to be, and sounding more like a toddler who was being fussy.

“N - O,” Branch said, hoping that maybe spelling it out would make some sort of brain cells spark in his brother’s head.

“Branch,” John Dory stated firmly, “Our brother is being held captive in a diamond prison.”

Branch had had enough. “How many times do I have to - !”

But then he paused mid sentence.

“Wait… what?”

This was different. All this time, John Dory had only continued to willfully insist that Branch come with him in order to get BroZone reunited for what seemed to be the purpose of just making new music (under his assumption that John Dory likely failed to launch a successful solo career). Not once had anything else been said. Branch’s first instinct was to be suspicious. How did he know John Dory wasn’t just changing tactic and saying things so that Branch can be convinced to come? But Poppy beat him to the punch as far as asking the first question.

Next to him, the Pop Queen gasped, a hand flying to her mouth, and her worried gaze was fixed on JD. “Oh no!” she cried. “Which one?”

“It’s Floyd,” John Dory responded instantly, without the typical falter that may have been indicative that it was untruthful. With that, he began to really explain. “See, Floyd and I kinda ran into each other in this big, flashy city a ways from here. We started to sing together, y’know, seeing if we could get our flow back. I think we were doing ‘Perfect,’ remember that song, Branch?”

“Don’t remind me,” the blue Troll grumbled, because no, he didn’t need to recollect the one song that ruined BroZone.

“Right, anyway,” John Dory continued, gesturing his arms out wildly telling the next part, “All of a sudden these two weirdos jump out at us just like that! POW!” He clapped his hands together, making Poppy jump back in surprise, and making Branch roll his eyes. Must his brother always try and be big and dramatic?

“I was able to escape, but Floyd…” John Dory clicked his tongue. “Not so lucky, I’m afraid.”

Branch narrowed his eyes. “Okay,” he said, “so he’s captured. Why didn’t you try and get him out?”

“Dude, you don’t think I did?” John Dory asked like it was obvious. “It’s a diamond, Branch! And there’s only one way we’re gonna get him out...” He put his hands out in front of him and waved them through the air like he was trying to make sparkles. “The perfect Family Harmony!”

If Branch had found amusement in the situation, he would have laughed. But he didn’t. He was beyond irritated at this point. “Are you out of your mind?” he huffed. “The Family Harmony… are you hearing yourself?!”

“What’s the Family Harmony?” Poppy asked innocently, to either of the two who would answer.

John Dory piped up first with a grin. “Oh! It’s this totally bro-dacious thing - “

“ - that we will never be able to do again!” Branch cut in. “So don’t even mention it.”

“Branch you don’t understand,” John Dory said, “it’s the only way to save him. If not, who knows what’s gonna happen!”

Poppy, concerned and confused, cocked her head at him, asking the question that Branch was admittedly being too stubborn to ask. “Uhh… what do you mean by that?”

John Dory grimaced, seeming to be remembering something, before he responded. “Something weird’s happening with Floyd. The dude and dudette that captured him - they’re, like, literally stealing his talent!”

“What?” Poppy couldn’t believe her ears, her exclamation coming out as more of a gasp. How on earth… “Why? How?” She was starting to feel anxious now. Someone from her favorite boyband was in great danger! And, as it turned out, she wasn't the only one feeling unnerved. Branch's attention, previously dismissive, had turned fully to his brother.

John Dory shrugged. "Beats me! I mean, that's what it looked like when they started sniffing in on Floyd  and all this color and stuff was being sucked outta him. And let me tell you, he didn't look so hot afterwards..." He shook his head, perturbed. "But those talentless losers are gonna pay! Am I right, Branch? Wait... Branch?" John Dory looked over to where the blue Troll had been, and was unable to locate him. Poppy too was startled to find that her boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. Where had he gone?

Unbeknownst to them, Branch had slipped away, and was sitting off in a quiet area where he could think and properly gather his thoughts. He ran the facts over in his head. John Dory was back. John Dory claimed to have met up with Floyd. John Dory claimed that Floyd was captured and being kept as some sort of song-slave for a couple of strange creatures.

He sighed in exasperation. What the heck was he supposed to think?

Just then, Branch heard some tsking coming from next to him, and he looked down to find that Tiny Diamond was sitting at his side with a pensive look on his face.

“Hooo, boy. Grown up stuff, am I right?”

Branch snorted. How could Tiny Diamond go on acting as though he knew it all, when he was only a year or so old?

“Branch, lemme tell ya,” the small Trolling continued, “you sure got a lotta drama goin’ on. At least if that bro of yours is anything to go by!”

“You were listening?” Branch asked, even though it was pretty obvious that that was indeed the case.

“Mmm-hmm,” Tiny said with a nod. Then he looked up at Branch with a gleam in his eye. “So, you are going, right? I mean, heck, you can’t miss an adventure like this - and neither can I!”

You just wanna see the REST of the drama, Branch wanted to point out to him, but instead, he asked, “What makes you think Guy Diamond would even want you to come along?”

Tiny chuckled. “Branch, my daddy knows that I’m a man, alright? If I wanna come, I can come. Get it?”

Branch rolled his eyes. “What does it matter. I’m not gonna go,” he said, even though he didn’t sound so sure of it when he said it.

Tiny huffed. “Hmph. Aunt Poppy’s gonna want you to,” he retorted.

“He’s right.”

Both Troll and Trolling turned at the sound of the Pop Queen’s voice breaking into their bubble.

“Tiny, um, do you think I could have a minute with Branch?”

Tiny nodded. “Absolutely, Aunt Poppy.” He scooted over, making room for her.

“Oh! Actually, I meant, uh… alone,” she clarified sheepishly.

“Ohhh… well all right,” Tiny said with a shrug, slinking off but still keeping his ear perked so he could listen in.

Poppy approached Branch with a cautious smile. “Heeyy…”

He gave her a look.

Poppy sighed.

“Branch… Satin would do anything for Chenille. Cooper would do anything for Prince D. And I know if I had a sister, I'd do anything for her."

"I know you would, Poppy," Branch mumbled. "And so would they. But we aren't like that," he said, referring to John Dory and his other brothers.

Poppy paused, considering what she was going to say next, and then spoke when she was certain, "Hey... I remember a Troll once told me that life wasn't all cupcakes and rainbows. And he was right." She sat by him, her hand reaching for his and holding it lightly. "And I want that same Troll to know that even though life isn't all cupcakes and rainbows, it doesn't mean that life is all doom and gloom, either. That there's good times and bad times, good folks and bad folks... and folks who just make mistakes. Mistakes that can be fixed."

Branch's scowl softened into something more contemplative. "...I guess," he admitted after a while, mostly remembering Floyd's saddened face right before he'd left him as a baby. Branch didn't understand back then, but as an adult he could see that Floyd was troubled in his decision to leave their home, and most likely his other brothers - while they hadn't shown it that night - did as well. And now, his brother was in trouble. Was a grudge really going to be something that was going to prevent him from possibly saving his life?

Poppy patted his hand. "I'm not going to tell you what to do," she said. "But just... try thinking about it, okay?" She considered saying more, but decided against it, not wanting to bog the blue Troll down with  so much pressure.

Turned out, she didn't need to say more... or wait very long for his answer.

"I'll go."

Poppy  was taken aback by the quick reply, and Branch, realizing how blunt his response was, vouched to explain.

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll try and help." He shrugged.

The Pop Queen smiled at him. "You don't have to promise me anything," she said. "It's for your own sake, not mine."

Classic Poppy, he thought, touched by how genuinely caring she was.

Tiny Diamond, who determined that it was safe enough to pop back out, jumped up in the air happily.

"Awright! Branch, Poppy, Tiny, and the rando going off on a musical adventure! Wooohooo! Yeah!"

And it was all that Branch and Poppy heard on the trek back to JD, unable to dissuade the little Trolling from venturing along with them, and who chattered excitedly about everything he hoped would happen.

__________________________________________

Logic seemed to be thrown out the window, and Spruce could do little more than shake his head at his brothers. They may not have responsibilities to take care of, but he sure did. And he was going to put things into perspective for them.

“Guys, I can’t just go. What about my wife, huh? And my kids? I’ve got an egg that’s about to hatch literally any day now!”

“Awright, congrats, bro!” John Dory exclaimed, raising a hand in the air for a high five and grinning broadly at Spruce. But only when Spruce did not follow through with the high five and instead gave JD a look did the teal Troll realize that he had completely missed the point.

“Besides,” Spruce continued, “I’ve got my own life, and it’s right here. With nobody else besides me and my family.”

“Yeah, and in the meantime, your other family is trapped inside a diamond prison getting his talent sucked out!”

Spruce got very confused at this. “Huh?” He looked over at Branch, who gave a nod of agreement to the bizarre statement that John Dory had made.

“Floyd’s stuck in some kind of crystal and is being held hostage by, uh… who again?” Branch asked JD.

“Some tall, weird, spaghetti-limbed bozos who can’t sing a lick!” John Dory replied. “So they’re using that crystal to take his talent away and make it theirs!”

What in the world? That sounded like some kind of made-up story that one of his kids would tell him just to make him laugh. Only, he wasn’t laughing now. John Dory and Branch were not trying to tell him this story for amusement purposes, they were trying to be serious.

So he went into the conversation with the same mentality he used for one of his kids’ stories - politely listening, but not really taking everything seriously as they explained that Floyd was the one being held captive, and was depending on the perfect Family Harmony to break him free.

“So that’s why you want me to come, eh?” Spruce asked after a long pause. It came out as more of a statement than a question.

“Yessiree!” John Dory said. “What else are big brothers for if they aren’t lookin’ out for the younger ones?”

Spruce glanced at Branch to see what his reaction to the statement was. And the look on his face did little to support JD's argument. But regardless, Spruce found himself unable to stay mad. That was the thing he'd come to learn about himself. He'd been the heartthrob once (and still was, if he did say so himself), but he'd also been the most chill of the bunch. His bros, no matter how much on his nerves they got him, were always gonna be his crew. He'd been mad for the longest time, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that some of that grudge he'd developed on the night the band broke up hadn't dwindled away.

"I'm in," he agreed, his response met with a hearty cheer from John Dory and a sigh of relief from Branch. "The quicker we rescue Floyd and make sure he's safe, the quicker I can get back to my girl and my saplings, 'aight?"

"No problemo, boss," JD assured, giving Spruce the space he needed to bid his family a temporary goodbye.

After all, a good father sets an example to his children, and showing them that he was willing to go out of his way for his brothers out of love was a very important life lesson to share.

__________________________________________

There was a reason he had been called 'The Fun One.' It wasn't just a character Clay was trying to play. It was his personality. He knew how to make the jokes, and how to have folks laugh at them.

John Dory, Spruce, and Branch, on the other hand, never knew how to match his level of comedy. So this whole little 'joke' that they were trying to convince him of was not doing much except annoy him.

“Y’all are playing,” he muttered.

And just like he thought, Spruce, John Dory, and Branch took the opposing point, with insistence that this was necessary, and that John Dory himself had witnessed the strange and hazardous occurrence of Floyd’s talent being sucked out. But it was when the Family Harmony was mentioned that he had reached his limit of patience for this nonsense.

"The Family Harmony? Okay, now I know you're playing for sure! We haven't sung like that in a long time. How are we going to do that again?" He didn't wait for them to respond. He put a hand up and spoke firmly. "The answer is no."

And it would have stayed that way, had Viva not broadened his view on the matter.

“Do you really wanna risk that you might never see your brother again?"

That answer also happened to be no.

Clay suddenly felt guilty for the times when they’d just been kids and he’d played ‘jail’ with Floyd as a joke. Thinking of him locked behind bars - or trapped inside of whatever it was that he was locked in - for real wasn’t so funny. Floyd had probably cried himself a river with how scared he must be.

Or not, Clay thought. Floyd could very well have adopted a new personality that came with the passing of time, like he himself had outgrown the whole funny-guy persona for a more serious one. It didn’t matter in the end though. Clay knew that if his serious-self was captured and unable to escape, he would be sweating bullets.

Which is why he found himself giving in.

“Okay, I’m gonna give it a shot, so – “

"YAAAAAAYYY!!!"

Viva’s scream had interrupted him, and through the big hug she’d given him afterward, and the satisfied look that his three brothers had on their faces, Clay knew that he’d made the right choice.

__________________________________________

If Floyd had been in the right mindset, he probably would have been wondering what John Dory's progress was so far. Which brothers he was able to find and gather for his rescue mission, and how much more land he had left to cover to get back to Mount Rageous.

But Floyd was not in the right mindset, and had not been since the start of his imprisonment. The little that he could muster to think of was used only for thinking about what was happening to him, and how he would end up once his captors – Velvet and Veneer – were finished using him for their malicious deeds.

His unfocused gaze only saw the shining gleam of the diamond’s firm walls, and caught the reflection of his quickly whitening hair. Hours ago, it’d been only a few strands amid his magenta mane that had turned the bleached color, hardly noticeable. Now, it was a good chunk of hair that was discolored, and seeming to be directly correlated to the great lack of energy that he was undergoing.

Whatever was the deal, Floyd only hoped that John Dory, Spruce, Clay, and Branch didn’t delay too much. He didn’t know if it was too much to ask – since they hadn’t seen each other for years and had ended things on bad terms – or maybe it was just enough to ask for. All he knew was that the comfort of being with his brothers again didn’t sound so terrible when compared to the alternative.

An alternative that was slowly, but surely, getting him closer to meeting an imminent and unkind end.

__________________________________________

A/N: I included a headcanon of mine that Spruce calls his kiddos saplings sometimes since his name is a type of tree, and saplings are young trees 😘

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Sorry for this useless post, I know you've talked about this a thousand times on your blog already, but I can't stress enough just how much I despise Jikookers.

That 'not-goldy' blog is literally talking about how they don't blame ot7s for staying far away from Jimin because Jimin's fans are toxic. What kind of supposed ARMY says something like that? So they're just going to pretend Jimin's stans are just attacking people unprovoked? They're just going to pretend the reason they're like this isn't retaliation for the way ot7s have been treating Jimin for years? And PJMs are somehow the worst of all solo stans for simply defending Jimin? The recent issue with the RIAJ certification and Hybe sharing articles labeling JK as the first to go platinum when JM is the first didn't even move them? Wow.

And someone compared JK's support for Eunwoo with his "support" for JM (I don't even know why anti-jikookers/non-shippers keep sending those people asks. It's hopeless) and this not-goldy person literally said JK is a sold out king and people are dying to have him promote their work. What!? They're literally implying that JK's Lives helped JM's career and gave him more exposure - I wouldn't be surprised if they wholeheartedly believe that JM's huge success and longevity on the charts is all thanks to JK. These people are really content in ignoring the fact that JM is objectively the most popular BTS member outside of the ARMY Fandom.

And it's crazy that not a single Jikooker commented on their posts to disagree with them. They are really never beating the allegations that they don't care about JM and only use him as a tool for their shipping fantasies.

I'm not going to check the blog because I don't want to lose braincells but I'll take your word for it.

Someone tell her Eunwoo is just as famous or probably even MORE famous than JK in south korea 😭😭😭

Well, most of them never implied it - they outright said a lot of times that he was promoting Jimin and doing for him what the company didn't do. They were saying it even after seven and seeing the difference in treatment. Sometimes I do wonder if they even see it because they seem to be interested only in the interactions and the ship moments. It's not like they really care about anything else.

Promotion is introducing your work to a new audience. Jungkook went live for the same friendless, touch-starved public he goes live for every day; the people watching him that time were the same that wanted Jimin to get hate crimed in the military two weeks ago. Fantastic promo job, indeed. Hope he's collected his nobel peace prize.

A few days ago I suddenly remembered the name of a jikooker whose posts I hadn't come across in a while, so I looked it up and her whole blog is Jungkook. Literally. There's nothing about Jimin. Right after I saw that, Jimin and Jungkook went to Japan and I thought "now she's going to acknowledge Jimin exists". I went to her blog again and lo and behold... a jikook post after months of her not posting anything about Jimin. Not even This is Jimin. That's how all the jikook accounts that get the most interactions are here in tumblr.

Most Jimin biased people at least admit that they care more about Jimin, and that they might have some soft spot or affection for Jungkook. But others act like they really respect and like both in the same capacity when you can tell that's not true. Then they'll try to police others on how to be a fan when they're hypocrites themselves.

"not a single Jikooker commented on their posts to disagree with them. They are really never beating the allegations that they don't care about JM and only use him as a tool for their shipping fantasies."

Exactly. That's why they never cared about the favoritism because they actually, geniunely think Jungkook is better and more deserving. To them, the favoritism was just status quo because to them, Jimin is less than Jungkook as an artist and at times, even as a person. That's why they never said anything, pretend they're not seeing the lies, the mediaplay, the manipulation and all the lenghts they went and are going for him to get stuff Jimin got with the bare minimum and without his fans thinking about records.

[exhaustedpirate]

parent for hire

As mentioned in the prologue post, let me know if you'd like to be included in the tag list for this project! From this post on, I will be uploading moodboards made by me. This project will have a constant "THANK YOU" to @kmomof4 for making this whole thing possible!

Chapter One - The Rescue

word count: 2772 words 

rating: Teen and Up

tag list: @cocohook38

read on AO3 | prologue

Killian Jones always got his bounty. 

Since he began his solo career as a bounty hunter, he could count on one hand the ones that had escaped him. His successes had helped his reputation soar and had given him a name of his own. Hook.

And with a name of his own, he gained some competition, and some enemies.

One of them was Blackbeard - a ruthless man without a shred of honour.

Killian tried to make his coin in a way his former Captain would be proud of, honorably. He would accept bounties to capture criminals, to help people. There were times he would slip - innocent people were sometimes worth a lot of gold - but those were few and far between. 

He wasn't sure where his most recent bounty fit. His employer had been vague - a large sum of gold to capture a wizard. No indication as to why or what they intended to do with him. Killian's history with wizards made him uninterested in asking those questions. As far as he was concerned, he would be quite happy to rid the world of another one. 

His heart stuttered as he thought of what he lost, the hook on his left hand feeling heavier than before, the weight on his chest suffocating. He heard her pleas, his own cries of pain. Magic served only to destroy. 

He shook his head, wanting out of the memory, returning his focus to the present. He urged Roger forward, matching his heart rate to the horse's foot falls. Seemingly understanding his mood, Roger's path veered towards the beach, keeping close to the water.

Luckily, Glowerhaven was a coastal kingdom. It was also where Killian knew Blackbeard’s lair was located.

According to his employer, Blackbeard had been hired to bring in the bounty but was now refusing to deliver, making the wizard's retrieval much more difficult for his employer than necessary. That had earned Killian a far bigger reward.

He wasn't surprised to find out that the old pirate was the one that had his bounty. Nor was he surprised that he was giving their employer trouble. Blackbeard was as greedy as he was despicable, and he undoubtedly thought there was more gold to be had by spreading  the story of his exploits in capturing the bounty and then handing it off to the one with the deepest pockets rather than delivering it to their employer. But Blackbeard’s stories, Killian had learned, should always be taken with a grain of salt. He may have heard the bounty was dangerous, but… well, he’d see when he got there. Right now though, those stories weren’t even close to Killian’s greatest concern. 

Killian's only worry as he stood hidden near the entrance of the cave where Blackbeard had his hideout was the fact that, for once, it wasn't a fair fight - there seemed to be at least 5 other pirates huddled inside. He counted his bullets, confirmed that his sword and daggers were still in place, employed his signature swagger and bravado, and made his way to the entrance.

Two pirates standing guard held him at sword and gun point while Killian pretended to simply be there to talk to their boss. They seemed confident; that was good. Confident meant sloppy. They obviously believed that the close proximity of their sword and gun to his neck and gut, respectively, would keep him in line.

Blackbeard sat with his smug, golden-toothed smile welcoming him like an old friend. Anyone could see the glint of murder in his eye, however, and Killian knew that one wrong move could send him to an early grave.

Thankfully for him, his past encounters with Blackbeard had given him a tried and true technique to victory. The old pirate may be ruthless, but he was defeatable.

"I thought I smelled you in town," Killian said jovially with a wide grin, holding out his arms as far as he could with the other two henchmen at his side.

"And I should have known that you wouldn't miss out on the gold." Blackbeard seemed to be playing the same game as he - fake pleasantries over an underlying tone of menace.

"The stories I’ve been hearing,” Killian shrugged before he continued, “I thought you'd be willing to share if I helped you bring it in." He wasn't even trying to hide the lie. It didn't matter.

He wasn't surprised when the captain and his crew burst out laughing at his words. He was counting on it, in fact - an over the top suggestion to distract them enough for him to grab hold of the dagger literally hidden up his sleeve.

"Thank you, Hook, I needed a laugh," Blackbeard said breathlessly as he wiped an imaginary tear. "As if I would ever need your help… or another pocket to share my gold."

"It was worth a try, don't you think? I heard the job was dangerous. And let's be honest, mate, the members of your crew are not exactly the sharpest." Killian grinned as he clicked his hook against the sword against his neck. He also took this moment to take a closer look at the crew and assess his situation. 

There was only one gun among the 5 crew members and none on Blackbeard. The bastard wasn't exactly reserved in his use of arms, shooting his guns at anyone who crossed his path. He seemed to forget that acquiring bullets was expensive and Killian could only conclude he didn’t have the gold to spend on acquiring more.

He could see a cutlass on each pirate. Which of course did not include the numerous - he was sure - daggers hidden on their collective persons. They were pirates after all.

"Dangerous…" Blackbeard chuckled. "Well, that’s not exactly true…” he shrugged. “Had to make the story a little more interesting, you know.” Blackbeard pulled on a chain as the pirates holding their weapons against him turned Killian towards the person at the end of said chains.

It was a boy.  

"What is this?!" His surprised shout echoed in the cave.

"This, my friend," Blackbeard began, pulling the chains so that the boy awoke from his slumber. "is the bounty. As you can see, it wasn't as difficult to acquire as you heard."

It had to be a trick. Powerful mages were known to hide their true appearance, trick their attackers - that had to be what was happening here.

The bounty, now fully awake, sat up with effort, his wrists chained up. He was pale, as if his life had been sucked from him. The child's eyes landed on him - such despair, such fear contained within. Killian caught his breath, and for a moment, it was as if he was looking in the mirror.

Blackbeard seemed unaware of Killian's inner turmoil, however. With another tug, he sent the boy sprawling on the floor and Killian took an instinctive step towards them only to stop when he felt the cold metal still held at his throat. The boy whined, clearly weak.

"It was like taking candy from a babe,” Blackbeard gloated. “He was so scared, he didn't even put up a fight."

Similar statements echoed in his head, a hint of the panic he had felt - what seemed like centuries ago - constricting his chest. Where that sentence gave Blackbeard an obvious and deep satisfaction, it caused sympathy to rise up in Killian. With a heave, Blackbeard held the chains up, forcing the boy to his feet. With his other hand, he grabbed the boy's face in his. "Isn't that right, brat? You even begged."

The boy's fear was like a physical thing, a weight in Killian's gut. Had he, so long ago, been that different from this child?

Making a split second decision, Killian used his hook to push the sword away from his neck while with his other hand holding the dagger, he slashed the gun-wielding pirate in his stomach. At the same time, knowing he would pull the trigger, Killian took a step back - the expected shot hitting the other pirate instead of him. 

Two down, four to go. 

"Get him!" Blackbeard shouted, once he realized what was happening. The boy, no longer being held, fell in a heap on the floor. 

The dagger still in his hand was thrown at another pirate’s chest. Moving quickly, Killian removed a dagger from his right boot. Ducking to avoid an opposing dagger, he sunk his into the approaching pirate’s side.

Four down, two to go. 

The last pirate approached him fast. Killian kicked him away, giving himself time to unsheathe his sword. Blackbeard wasn’t known to employ the smartest of men - you didn’t need smart, you needed a body able to follow orders and withstand the rough life at sea. Killian had training and his wits, his adversary didn’t. Brute force was nothing without accuracy. Killian’s sword slashing his enemy's thigh as his hook sank into his shoulder was enough to bring the man down.

“Useless rats!” Blackbeard raged, wielding his sword. “It won’t be so easy to get through me, boy!”

He was right. Killian had had enough run-ins with Blackbeard to know that he was indeed a much more formidable swordsman than his crew. Not enough to worry him, however. 

It might be extremely arrogant of him to think that way with a very real enemy eager to end his life standing in front of him, but Killian knew his own strengths and he knew how to win.

Movement to the side drew his attention. As he stopped Blackbeard’s strike to his head with his sword and hook, he could see the boy shuffle to a sitting position. Blackbeard’s hold on the boy’s face had left a mark. There were two deep red marks on his cheeks, a stark contrast against the paleness of his face.

A grunt from his rival drew his concentration back, he ought to be paying attention to the danger in front of him. The fight was taking too long. Killian needed to end it before any other pirates showed up. 

Summoning his strength, Killian pushed the sword away from his face, forcing it to the side. Dropping his own sword, Killian threw a mighty punch to the pirate’s face. With a quick glance towards the boy, he kicked Blackbeard away. With the boy pulling the chains taught, Blackbeard tripped, sending him falling back and hitting his head on the wall.

Only waiting a second to guarantee the unconsciousness of his rival and to grab his dropped sword, Killian made his way to the boy.

How could a boy so small be considered such a threat? A threat worth such a high bounty? Perhaps he was more dangerous than they all thought.

As he reconsidered his decision to free him, the child looked at him.

He had heard of spells cast with only a look. But what he felt wasn’t magic, it was recognition. He saw himself in the boy. He looked at him with fear but with an underlying feeling of hope. There was stubborn determination hidden in his thinned lips. The mirror staring back at him.

He hadn't asked what they wanted to do with him. He hadn't cared. Was he just as bad a man as his own father willing to lead a child to an uncertain future? No child deserved such a fate. 

In an impulsive move, Killian brought his hook down on the chains. He heard the child’s breath catch as he surely expected a mortal strike. Luckily, the chains broke immediately. They locked eyes once more. Surprise took the place of fear and Killian couldn’t help but notice how the child’s face slowly gained color, seeming more alive.

Magic chains, no doubt.

With a centering breath, Killian held out his hand to the child.

“What do you say we get out of here, lad?”

The child seemed to look for something in his gaze. Killian expected to feel the invasive nature of magic searching his soul, his intentions. But there was nothing.

But when the boy - having found whatever he was looking for - took his hand, he felt warmth. Magic or not, it felt good. Magic had never felt good before. 

He wasn’t aware of his held breath until he released it. Giving his head a slight shake, - he needed to focus - he looked around. The room they were in was still full of dead pirates and one unconscious captain, but he could hear others farther back in the cave. 

The boy's hand was limp in his grasp and he noticed his difficulty in standing up, his body weak. The cuffs that had been on his wrists had obviously drained him, exhausted him.

“Let’s go,” Killian tugged the boy's hand, his left shoulder carefully placed on his midsection. Standing up, the boy rested comfortably on Killian's shoulder. "Try to hold on, lad. It's going to be a bumpy ride."

He felt the boy's grip on his vest, strong enough to urge him into a run. It wasn’t long, unfortunately, until he heard thundering steps behind them. The other pirates were gaining on them, fast.

The child’s weight on his shoulder slowed Killian's rushed steps. Killian could hear the horse outside the cave guiding them in the right direction, the night’s full moon thankfully lighting their way. 

"Look out!" The boy's croaky warning rang out as Killian heard the whizzing of a dagger thrown at them, cutting his cheek but sinking into a nearby tree just outside the mouth of the cave. 

Daggers. Of course, he should have expected it. 

With a groan, Killian pulled the child to his arms. The horse was close, he needed to get the boy on it as fast as possible if they were going to escape.

He felt the boy's eyes on him, more specifically on the cut on his cheek.

"We're almost out of here, lad," Killian reassured, thinking the boy's gaze was of apprehension.

It seemed Killian Jones was in for a few more surprises.

It was as if time slowed down as the child wriggled out of his hold, landing on his hands and knees on the ground. Not wasting another moment, he watched as the child closed his eyes and held out his hands. A wave of energy, like a summer wind, burst from the child. When he looked at the previously-approaching pirates, they were all sprawled on the ground, unconscious.

Killian stared at the boy. He had known - had been told and feared - that he was a powerful mage, but seeing such a small child produce such impressive magic was both astounding and terrifying. 

“My name is Henry, by the way,” he said as he sat back on his heels and turned to Killian with a genial smile.

Before Killian could respond, they were interrupted by a whooshing sound and an orange light in front of them. That old bastard had been hiding a magic bean. It had likely been dislodged in the blast of Henry’s magic and activated. It was their best chance of escape.

"We have to go."

Rushing to the horse and untangling its leash from the tree, Killian mounted the animal. He and Roger moved quickly towards Henry, Killian reaching out a hand for the boy who seemed more interested in looking into the horse’s eyes. He raised his eyebrow at the boy, apprehensively glancing at the portal.

"What's his name?" Henry asked, keeping his gaze on the beast.

Safe to say, the question caught him off guard. "What?"

"The horse, what's his name?"

"You are seriously asking me this now?" Killian balked, pointing at the portal in front of them. "We have to go!" "It's rude not to ask for his name if I'm going to ride on him." Henry looked at him with clear and innocent eyes.

Killian sighed, looking up at the sky for a moment. "It's Roger. Happy?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

Henry smiled brightly, holding up his hand. Killian pulled him up and deposited him behind him on Roger’s back. He rushed him forward as fast as he could, not wanting to let the portal go to waste.

“I’m Killian, by the way. Killian Jones,” he said as the boy wrapped his arms around his torso, his hold stronger than before.

He thought he could feel the boy's bright smile once again at his back. “Thank you, Killian Jones.” Henry’s words were the last thing he heard before the deafening sound of the portal took over as they approached and crossed.

He tried not to let his thundering heart and conflicting thoughts distract him from the sweltering heat and spice smell of Agrabah.

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2006 - Number 6 - Mihai Traistariu - "Tornerò"

Mihai Trăistariu is one of Romania's eternal triers. By 2006, he'd been in Selecția Națională four time previously. Three times with his former band Valahia and then in 2005 he'd sung as a duo with Nico. What was different this time was that Mihai was on his own and also had some serious push behind his song Tornerò.

Mihai's entire career in music had been one of consistent ambition. He was from a creative, musical family and it seemed destined (at least to him) that his future would be as a singer, if anyone in the Eurovision family could be described as determined, it would be Mihai.

His first solo album came out in 2005, along with a few singles. None of them really made an impact. His second album was due in 2006 and Tornerò was both the lead single and the title song on it. The main song-writer was the relatively unheralded Eduard Cîrcotă, but there was something about this song and it was getting people excited.

It's full-pelt Eurodance/EDM centred around Mihai's non-stop voice. It's very much what Romania had been delivering to Eurovision successfully now for most of the 2000s. Barely giving the singers any time to breathe and requiring them to truly go for it. Mihai's breaths sound like pneumatically-assisted gear-changes at the ends of the phrases. This is a song where just listening to it feels like a being in a work-out. I hope there was oxygen available for Mihai backstage.

But the relentless nature of the song is only part of it. It's got other musical tricks up its sleeve. One of those is Mihai showing what he can do at the top of the song and during the bridge. That's some serious vocal control two-thirds of the way through when your vocal chords must be overheating.

There's also the Eurovision standard key change for the final choruses that do serve their elevating purpose, but at a time when you don't think it's possible for the song to go even higher and harder. That final lift through the stratosphere of the dancefloor; the one that takes everyone outside the atmosphere and fully into space.

First though it had to win the national final. The semi-final was a formality. Mihai crushed everything else in the televote, gaining five time the number of public votes than the second-placed song. Things were closer in the final as there was another song. It featured Mihai's partner from 2005, Nico and was confusingly called Jokero.

The Tornerò vs Jokero showdown wasn't a forgone conclusion and in fact Jokero just about won the televote, but the jury much preferred Tornerò. Mihai spent the period prior to Eurvision going for it, touring several European countries, gigging and doing all sorts of performances and appearances. This paid off. Going into Eurovision it was one of the favourites, and that turned out not to be too far away from the mark.

Romania didn't have to go through the semi-final. Straight into the final, Mihai steadily accumulated points, scoring with all but two countries and getting two twelves. It was enough for fourth place, giving Romania its second top five placing in two years and re-confirming Romania as a consistently excellent 2000s era Eurovision contender.

Even this success didn't slow Mihai down. There's another four (at least) national finals appearances to come, his European touring continued unabated and there seems to have been at least one single released by him almost every years since 2006. Tornerò itself was covered by others, including Anna Vissi and by now is a Eurovision clubbing standard, huge amongst the fans and recognisable even by those who aren't.

[parkminijiminie]

Jk has been pushing the heterosexual fuck boy narrative since chapter 2 started. He's been seen out with women or possibly just 1 particular woman in his personal time since last year. People tried to write it off as a staff member but he wouldn't be with staff in his personal time when he's not working which he obviously wasn't. Jk didn't start working until bh sent him to the states after Like Crazy charted #1 on hot100 bc they wanted that for him and not jm. I wonder will jk use this video to his advantage to further push the heterosexual fuck boy narrative or will he do some grand gesture towards jm to try to soothe things over. If they were broken up at the time it wouldn't be cheating but it's only natural for jm to get upset about the situation if he is. Jm had to deal with the exact situation with jk and the tattoo artist back in 2019 and I would assume he's not happy about dealing with it yet again.

Let's not assume too much, dear. Neither of us are Jimin nor JK. We don't know if they ever were together, let alone at the time of 2019 issue, moreover right now. Jimin is a strong, smart individual and I trust he knows what he's doing. If he supports JK going forward , just as he's always done, and assume always will, then your theory goes to to the bin.

I don't think JK being possibly filmed in his home is a PR move and I seriously doubt it will be used as one if it wasn't, because JK really hates his privacy being invaded. I don't know who he's been seen with in his private time, since, well it's his private time and I don't follow sasaengs, and I suggest you stop doing too. Other than the main reason that stalking someone is illegal and immoral, they are also very often very unreliable and complete liars, sometimes craving attention and other times wanting to "punish" the people they stalk. Even if JK was filmed with girls, it isn't a crime to have people from the opposite genger in your life. For sure, JM has women in his life too , we just don't know it. Context matters. And if JK had girlfriends in the least year, so be it. He said he's a grown man and he is. Even if some people don't like it, he doesn't care.

Lastly, yeah he did start working after JM's promotion ended. Both of his singles were offered to him and he took them, that's no secret. I do believe the company wanted him to the most successful member of BTS , hence why they maybe rushed his release and the extensive promotions, but I think he also wants to be super famous and as big as possible, as well, so their goals align.

As I said, I have some mixed feelings about JK right now, mainly the direction he's taking his career in and the means he uses. It seems to me his main focus right now is to be "a global pop star" (which he already is being a part of BTS, but I guess he wants his OWN name to be as known as possible). More than global, it looks like the company and Scooter are focused on making him the next "American pop star" which JK seems to want as well. He's always admired JB and the likes, so it's no surprise if you've been paying attention to what JK's been saying all those years.

Another aspect in JK's career so far is his desire to be more "mature". The whole fuckboy thing is partly him trying to break the mold of the Maknae, the company using the oldest trick for creating pop stars (using sex) and maybe his own life experiences, who knows. I'm not sure why he automatically equates maturity to just having lots of sex, when maturity is so much more, but let's just wait for his album and see. As of right now, he isn't trying to make meaningful art , he's just doing songs that he feels like in the moment and trying to become as famous as possible. That's all there really all is to his solo music so far, but there's still time for me to be wrong.

His whole approach to the solo career is definitely different than what I thought, but who am I to judge. He doesn't really care for people disliking his music, so clearly there's no point in mulling over it. Strangely, I thought Chapter 2 will be about getting to know the members better and becoming closer to them, yet for me it's been the opposite when it comes to him.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Dang, girl, you almost have me feeling sorry for Jungkook. Well, the man does love music. And OMG, does he love to sing.

I don't have the time or inclination to be an akgae, but if I did, I would do everything in my power to get NLG--masterpiece that it is--in front of as many people as possible.

Fortunately. I don't have a lot of power. Maybe I could solicit some friends to do a TikTok dance challenge. It would consist of us rocking back and forth and shouting, go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go,go! Easy-peasey, lemon squeeezy, Just the level we could carry off after a few beers.

I'd post long tirades on X and all other platforms, calling out the haters, because JK already explained why NLG is short and unfinished, poor darling, and he hopes we support it anyway, and it is so super sweet how much he love his fans, isn't it?

(Btw, can you imagine any other professional musician doing that? Releasing unfinished music and then giving excuses to your fans while asking them to buy it?)

Snarkiness aside, eventually people are going to see there is no there...there. Jungkook is like the empty vessel that takes on whatever it is they're pouring. Or maybe this is exactly what he wants and thinks he needs to achieve the super stardom he's been chasing.

I don't even know which would be worse.

Anon, thanks for the laugh!

Did my post not come across as sincere?!? To be perfectly frank, I really don't get the hype around JK. He strikes me as being just a hair above average, with the advantage of having had a lot of voice lessons. He's like the kid who gets a solo in the church choir or the lead in the high school musical. Good, but not great.

Here's the deal. I'm not a Taylor Swift fan, but I don't lose my shit if I hear one of her songs. I don't begrudge her success. I don't mind that other people love her. I literally don't care about her one way or another. And that's how I should feel about Jungkook, too, if only his career wasn't being launched at the expense of Jimin's. In my humble opinion, Jimin is the only one out the seven who has a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding in the US as a solo artist. Put all seven on equal footing and then let's see how they do.

You're dead on about releasing and making excuses for a bad song. It's sooooo unprofessional. But it doesn't really matter since his fandom eats up whatever he releases. The JJK comments I've read on Twitter in the last 24 hours are absolutely unhinged. Apparently, he is grossly neglected by both the company and ARMY!!!

And you're also right about him being an empty vessel. Do yourself a favor and Google Mijoo hand tattoo. That boy doesn't have an original idea in his head. I'm sure the Kurt Cobain quote on his arm was her idea, too, because he embodies the absolute opposite of "better dead than cool." He's an average singer, a decent dancer who is getting increasingly stiff, he has a dubious work ethic and no strong musical vision (at least so far). That is not exactly a recipe for long-term success. That Scooter push can only keep him afloat for so long. And boy did he have a lot of it yesterday. All the major music media outlets were mentioning his song, but the only engagement the posts got were from JJKs.

Look at Day 2 for Never Let Go. Nearly 45% of his streams are coming from Thailand and Vietnam.

Hmmmm. I feel like I was baited into writing this angry screed and now I feel guilty. As penance, I shall tap into those years of ballet and modern dance study from my child and teen years and commit myself entirely to making interpretive dance TikTok videos set to NLG. It's the least I can do.

[dustedmagazine]

Fontaines D.C. — Romance (XL)

Until now, being a fan of Fontaines D.C. was pretty easy. The exhilarating way in which they burst to life with 2019’s Dogrel helped galvanize a renewed broader cultural interest in post-punk, exacting as it was in its marriage of youthful observation and acrimony alike. Their turn to the significantly moodier A Hero’s Death was timely in both fortunate and unfortunate ways, musical growth as a mile marker for the darkness that was 2020. The powerfully dense Skinty Fia was another signpost indicating they were on a steady but stable path despite the Glastonbury and Fallon and CNN appearances, despite the Grammy nominations, despite the skyrocketing success. You didn’t have to squint to see the band of “Nabokov” was still the band of “Big.”

The “constant process” of songwriting the group lives by has continued apace right from the off; they’ve been doing a career speed run from beautifully wayward Rob Doyle characters on Dogrel to probing the depths of the Irish soul and expatriatism on A Hero’s Death and Skinty Fia (to say nothing of frontman Grian Chatten’s solo full-length as more than just a personal aside). The through-line of their homeland was always there regardless of whether they lived in Dublin or London or on the road or anyplace else — just as James Joyce left only to spend his whole life writing about Ireland, so, too, did his apostles a century removed leave only to end up singing of the very Dublin City their name wouldn’t let them forget.

Romance is a conscious divorce from that, an attempt to think and write from a less Irish perspective. There’s nary an “In ár gCroíthe go deo” to be found; the closest you’ll get is “Horseness Is the Whatness” lifted from (where else) Ulysses. In the run up to Romance’s release, the band made a point of saying they took inspiration this time around from Italian cinema like The Great Beauty and Japanese manga like Akira. There was American nü-metal and English trip-hop afoot. The “Starburster” video offered a visual makeover straight out of a prime-era Prodigy performance. The influences are far-reaching, the ambitions greater (or at least more diverse) than ever.

The craic here is that the results are Fontaines’ Achtung Baby (or, later, Absolution and Holy Fire) moment, a star turn or a shark jump so divisive and egregious, it couldn’t be ignored by longtime fans. Call it a clean, empty room worthy of mere morbid curiosity and little more; call the “spiritual form” Chatten has espoused a gleaming, gormless, soul-sapped skyscraper that uncouples the quintet from its past; call the songwriting dumb and deprived of the depths The Lotts allowed for; call it a misstep; call it a failure.

… Or call it the band’s capstone on its ascendancy of capital-R Rock. It’s true, you’ll have to squint a lot harder to see the studied studio effort of “Starburster” in the raw live band of “Big,” but if you’re gonna be big, you gotta shoot for the rafters. Say what you will about the emotional reaches of A Hero’s Death and Skinty Fia, but neither possessed the immediacy of Dogrel and its singles, though strong, belied a more texture-forward approach. Less individual tracks were capable of standing out.

No such problems exist with Romance. The Metallica-aping opening riff and punching electronics-assisted kick of the title-track tell of new territory setting you up for something much larger-sounding than any of the previous three records, but that’s aided by a refined, popcentric approach. Some of this is down to Fontaines’ desire to do more in the studio that may not necessarily have translated live, but switching to producer James Ford (originally half of Simian Mobile Disco but now probably best known for his work with Arctic Monkeys, Blur, Florence and the Machine, Haim and others) is more indicative of the expectations — the band is leaning all the way into Wembley-size grandiosity here. It’s called Romance, for God’s sake.

How you feel about that, and about this record, will be directly attributable to your tolerance for bold moves and grand gestures. Whether it’s the short, muscular radio rock of “Here’s the Thing” or the soaring, string-assisted “Desire” or the amniotic Mellotron of “Sundowner,” the album has something for everyone in a relatively tight timespan. There’s something to be said for pacing here, too: What could have been a messy tracklist ends up flowing naturally from crashing to composed and back again, which does much to further the record’s cause despite Chatten’s admittedly more anonymous, universal lyrical efforts.

Perhaps nothing epitomizes this more than the instant classic “Favourite.” Frankly, it struck me as an idiotic decision to release the closer as a second single, especially one like this that's destined to become a setlist staple; who does that, and why the fuck would you spoil the ending before we’ve had a chance to take the full ride? But hearing Romance in full, the decision now comes across as a calculated power move, a nod of supreme confidence as the record spends its duration turning from dark to light: Yes, we know exactly what we’re doing and where we’re headed, and though you may be reluctant, you really should come with us. To drive it home amid a Smithsian strum and the most gorgeously open-hearted love song they’ve yet written, right at the end of the album’s final bridge, an auld turn of phrase slips in worthy of Grian’s best: But if there was lightning in me / you’d know who it was for. Color me a romantic, but I know who he means — and if you’ve ever loved this band, you do, too.

Patrick Masterson

[2802t]

lee taeyeon, a comprehensive career timeline (debut (2016) — 2019), pt. i

2016

the first year of indigo's lifespan feels a little bit like something taeyeon only half-experiences, but that probably has more to do with the sleep deprivation than the objective surrealism of it all. overnight, it seems, he's catching kids in the hallways at school taking pictures of him through classroom windows, whenever time allows for him to physically show up, swarmed by people in passing who might have otherwise only spared him a glance. on-screen, when the music videos and performances have all been done and dusted and they're marketing themselves on variety shows, he's not entirely sure what he's doing, but it seems to be working. he's naive, gives too much of himself over for consumption, and it leaves too little room for separation between lee taeyeon, the person and lee taeyeon, the face of indigo. he's loved, undoubtedly, and rises to a level of popularity that no teenager is equipped to handle, but he's so incredibly tired that he doesn't even have the bandwidth to process it. they're four releases deep before the end of the year. taeyeon keeps going.

he doesn't think he ever cries quite as hard as he does when their work pays off in recognition during award ceremonies. it all happens so quickly and maybe it's awe, dread, on tougher days, that washes over him when he realizes that it's only just begun.

highlights: album of the year, artist of the year, best male group at multiple award shows; record amount of music show wins with growl; special host on multiple episodes of weekly idol

2017

still rookies, despite the massive success they achieved so early on, the year after debut becomes one crafted with the intent of solidifying their position as a critically acclaimed and highly anticipated boy group among a growing sea of competition. as the face of the group and the de facto representative in all matters not covered by their leader, taeyeon is held up, bounced around from place to place for everyone to see with "indigo" in massive letters across his forehead. of course, he's not always alone, oftentimes appearing on variety shows and at brand events alongside another member, but when he is, it feels intentional. for half the year, there's hardly any schedule that management says "no," to, the rare occasion being conflicts with group promotion. he takes his job seriously, shoves any wayward stress to the deep recesses of his mind, eats when he can and puts a smile on his face because it's the least he can do.

every day he's reminded of how many people would kill to be in his position, would kill to be any one of the members, and aren't your members working hard, too, lee taeyeon? should the world stop turning for you?

there are ways around exhaustion, humanity. he learns.

highlights: law of the jungle, music bank mc, host of mbc gayo daejejeon, various one-off variety show appearances and commercial brand endorsements, first solo magazine cover

2018 - 2019

if you were to ask taeyeon what these two years of his life encompass, he'd probably answer with something like in-flight movies and falling asleep during english classes, but, to the common outsider, 2018 and 2019 are the years that truly globalize indigo. they also happen to serve as a point in time where all pretenses are abandoned and taeyeon's impending adulthood makes him free game.

publicly, he gets painted as a noona lover, scripted to flirt with women twice his age on tv shows, fully grown into his looks and unprotected in all the ways that matter. he doesn't think much of it, not really, flirting has always been apart of the job, but then his body becomes the focus. he's pushed to diet, told to cut down on how much he eats to chisel out; told to work out so he'd be toned enough to wear flowy shirts and crop tops. as much as he's always been, he is commodified and rebranded, an early pivot from the charming, mischievous little boy he'd been thus far to a man.

he has an early birthday. they celebrate with blood sweat and tears.

highlights: lyrical and compositional credits on wings album (intro: boy meets evil, lie, MAMA, cypher 4, 21st century girl), cast as "ato" in the miracle we met, viral fancam

[jimin-bangtan]

BTS’s Solo Chapter CONTINUED - Part 6

Even Jung Kook, (JK), who had ended the solo album releases for phase 1 of the solo period, still had more to offer.  In addition to featuring on JHope’s 2nd album song, I Wonder…, he also released a song for fans, Never Let Go, for Festa 2024. Likely due to time restraints, he wasn’t able to release the dance video that would have explained some of the lengthy lyrical skips, but that means fans can look forward to that performance when he returns. In addition, there was still more planned toward JK’s 1st album that was now extending into phase 2 of the solo period. That is somewhat understandable timewise, since he was the last to release work in 2023.  JK not only has an exhibition (called GOLDEN: The Moments) traveling to global locations, but he also had his documentary, I Am Still, being released in theaters globally, not once but twice. The 2nd release included an added singalong segment to the original footage. It really was a well-planned, extensive promotional plan, and it brought the results and achievements it was designed to do.  Of course, JK also released the travel series along with Jimin, which was filmed in July, September, and November of 2023. The trips occurred over three long weekends during JKs promotional period and during Jimin’s 2nd album preparations. Some people have complained that it pulled them away from their busy work, but that was the point, or at least one of the points. It gave them restful mini-vacations to relax and enjoy themselves away from the heavy lifting of doing so much work before departing for their military service. They both remarked about having the chance to create memories before taking a pause in their careers to do a restrictive, difficult obligation. I’m glad they had the chance to do it, and it looks like (and they said) they had an enjoyable time through it all. 

As mentioned, RM released a 2nd solo album, Right Place, Wrong Person. In fact, we found out, during that clever MMM1 conversation, where he and Jimin discussed their 2nd albums, that RM had delayed his enlistment to complete this project. He was previously planning to enlist on the same day as JHope. Now I understand more what he and JHope meant in JHope's enlistment day footage, when gloomy RM said, “I don’t know.” and JHope responded, “I don’t either.” It seemed RM was hoping his decision to change plans for this album was worth it, and boy, was it! RM's 2nd album stunned even BTS fans.  It was different, raw, creative, revealing, and stylistic - all the things some fans had expected from his first solo album. He still had collaborators but fewer than he had on the 1st album. He chose to operate differently and worked mostly with songs given to him, while he focused more on the lyrics and performance. RM’s first album was very good, and it was successful, but he even seemed unsatisfied with it and perhaps with its lesser achievement than he had hoped. It turns out that the 1st album also might not have expressed all the deep, gritty feelings he needed to let out. RM’s 2nd album also got more company-led promotional effort, and its achievements were also far greater than his first album. He has landed higher on charts and is being acknowledged for awards and recognition that eluded his first album, even though both are critically acclaimed. While fans did not get a documentary for RM’s first album, a very artistic, cinematic documentary (called RM: Right People, Wrong Place) was premiered at the Busan International Film Festival for his 2nd album. We now have word that it will be released globally in December 2024. Early reviews have remarked about how very honest and raw the footage is, that shows more of who RM is and the process that went into creating the very expressive album. After RM’s album release and promotions, he also was featured on a song with previous BTS collaborator, Megan Thee Stallion, called Neva Play, where RM finally declared that BTS “paved the way” for other Asian artists. Speak that truth, RM. 

Presently, at long last, Jin has announced his 1st solo album. Happy will be released in November 2024 along with the (hopefully) improving promotional experience. His album is said to lead listeners through his journey to find happiness. In line with the happy theme, Jin first released Super Tuna 2.0, which was an updated, extended version of the original song and video. Although it is not included on the album, the silly, but joyful, song, about his love for tuna, was the right tone to kick off the release of an album that has happiness as its theme. Fans are excitedly looking forward to Jin’s solo debut. (By the time I posted this, Jin's pre-release song was presented. It is a fun, pop-rock song called I'll Be There. He looked and sounded great. He's off to a very good start.) To tide us over until the group comes back and until his album is released, Jin has been entertaining fans with show appearances, fashion pictures, and RunJin episodes that are full of Jin’s madcap chaos and humor. Now that JHope is out of the military too, I can’t wait to see if (when) he and Jin will produce a subunit project as I had hoped for. There is no doubt that it would be hysterically entertaining. Since Jin’s return, he has also fully capitalized on BTS’s opportunity to have individual ambassador deals now. He hadn’t been able to engage in any business contracts until after his enlistment, and he is wasting no time in catching up on lost time. 

Here is a list of BTS’s individual ambassadorships presently: Jin - Gucci, Alo Yoga, Fred Jewelry, and Laneige Suga - Valentino and NBA JHope - Louis Vuitton RM - Bottega Veneta Jimin - Dior and Tiffany & Co. V - Celine, Cartier, Compose Coffee, and SimInvest JK - Calvin Klein

PHASE 2 CONCLUSION

During this solo experience, we have had the pleasure of watching BTS members grow and develop as individual artists. We have seen them learn a lot from the experience, gaining knowledge that we are excited to know they can bring back to the group activities.  It’s difficult to imagine what the next chapter of BTS will look like with all that we have seen, but we’re excited to find out. Normally, Hybe and/or BigHit Music do put a lot of advanced planning into their efforts. This military situation was entirely new, and an innovative plan was certainly needed. While there were some parts that were clever and very well done, some parts of this plan unfortunately did not meet up with expectations at all. I have made my feelings clear on how the company initially managed the solo projects. Suga had said that each member was expected to manage their own solo tasks and promotions. Therefore each member chose different entities to help them accomplish their work. I explained each project in more detail in my Phase 1 solo period posts (specifically parts 2 & 3). The differing amounts of assistance given to each member, and the apparent, inequitable effort provided for promotions will sting many fans for quite a while. It caused a crack and disturbance in the fandom that will likely exist for a long while, if not forever.

JK, in honesty and in fact, did receive a much larger piece of the promotional pie, for whatever reason. Perhaps it was solely because of the group he chose to work with. Time seemed to be his only limiting factor.  I’m glad he was able to get that level of promotion. He did an awful lot in an awfully short amount of time. I only hope that going forward, all of the members receive that level of care and investment. They all were responsible for the success that built the company, they all worked extremely hard on their solo projects, and they all deserve the same level of care and attention (with reasonable adjustments) to support their individual careers. The support may not look exactly the same, but it should look like equal effort. It should not stink of neglect and have missing necessary and available items or actions that some promotions received but others did not.

It is sad to see conversations from fans and the public, in which they compare the promotions of BTS, the most successful KPop group in history, to promotions given to artists from other companies. The comments express that they are surprised about how differently BTS is supported by its own wealthy company that their hard work built.

My final, previously stated, point on promotions for now is that even if the differences in promotions were due to the members having to handle their own promotional activities and make their own choices, it was all of their first solo projects! I feel the company should have provided a better framework of guidance for the projects, including promotions, to be sure the members knew how to roll them out fully and knew what tools and information - or additional assistance - was needed to make sure they not only had quality music but also quality roll outs. It seems this would have been a company priority, especially seeing that their primary money makers would be absent for a while. It would have maximized company profits, but perhaps the goal was instead for the members to learn from the process, regardless of everything else, including peace in the fandom.

With that said, the company has seemed to have grown or at least hopefully learned a lot from the experience too, for which I’m glad. We saw changes and improvements during the solo period from phase 1 to phase 2. Perhaps the members did learn and made changes and/or the company realized the flaw in their original tactic. It was a new experience for both sides. (Sadly, we’ll never know what could have been, since you cannot get a 1st time debut back.)

BTS is a unique band in a unique situation. Where most KPop groups disband at about the 7-year mark - if they make it that long - BTS is still thriving and successful into their 11th & 12th years. The members have recently signed a rumored 10-year contract, together, in advance, with the same company, which is also uncommon. Hybe is new for a corporation’s age, and BigHit Music is still learning as they go. As Suga has said many times, BTS is experiencing things where there is no roadmap because no other group has traveled this path before them, so it is expected that the company will have some missteps as they go. I certainly didn’t expect this type of misstep, or the extent of the misstep, but learning and growing from mistakes is far more important than attempting to never make a mistake, which is unrealistic.  Provided they do course-correct and do better going forward, progress can be made and wounds can be healed. As with every step of BTS’s journey, we all will continue to watch and see - right along with them.  APoBangPo - Army forever, BTS forever

RELATED POSTS

**See my Updated BTS Solo Chapter Wishlist.** ***Refer to my BTS Official Content & Social Media Links post that is a directory of links, which leads you to all of the mentioned activities and solo work on official pages. ***

<- BTS Solo Chapter CONTINUED - Part 5 - opening post for this update