#lets make 2021 our year

[changes]

New: Search operators for better searching!

We hear you, and we share your frustrations: it’s hard to find a specific post. You know it has a particular tag or phrase, and it was posted on this date, or at least, within a specific year. But you can't find it!

So, today, we’re excited to announce that you can use ✨ advanced search operators ✨ in the search bar now! You can now say potato from:staff year:2021 to easily enjoy that video of a potato being microwaved again.

Before we jump into the details, a couple of caveats to note:

These search operators are only available in the main Tumblr search bar. They don’t work in the search bar in individual blogs.

The search operators only work on posts created in 2017 or later.

OK! Let’s go explore these operators!

Exact phrase match

When you surround your query with regular double quotes (not curly quotes), it will match posts with that exact phrase in the post's text content, or that exact phrase as a tag.

For example, "chappell roan is roan of arc" matches posts with that exact phrase in the content, and also matches posts that have the exact tag #chappell roan is roan of arc.

Match operator

By default, the query matches the post on either the text or the tags.

You can use match:text to specify you want to search the post content, or match:tags to search the post tags. For example:

sword world match:text looks for posts with the words "sword" and "world" in the post content.

sword world match:tags looks for posts with the words "sword" and "world" in the post tags.

From operator

Use from:blog or from:@​blog to find only posts by a particular blog.

For example, halloween from:staff finds all posts by @staff that has the word "halloween" in the post content or tags.

Year operator

Use year:YYYY to find posts from a particular year.

For example, halloween year:2019 finds all posts from 2019 that has the word "halloween" in the post content or tags.

Date operator

Use date:YYYY-MM-DD to find posts from a particular date.

For example, halloween date:2019-10-08 finds all posts created on October 8, 2019 that has the word "halloween" in the post content or tags.

All together

You can combine all the tools above to form even more specific queries:

Congrats! You’re now a Tumblr search wizard! 🪄

Other syntax

As a reminder, you can already search by a tag, or by multiple tags:

Prefixing your query with # performs a tag search — that is, it will find posts with that exact tag. For example, #star wars will only return posts with the #star wars tag.

You can search for multiple tags at at time. For example, #star wars #art will find posts that are tagged with both the tag #star wars and the tag #art.

You can combine this with the new operators to find what you are looking for!

A guide on how to use the new operators has also been added to our Search and Filtering Basics Guide.

Tumblr Patio support

The enhanced syntax makes Tumblr Patio even more powerful. You can now open multiple search columns each with different fine-tuned queries that use the syntax above to get you customized feeds.

Feedback

We’d love to hear what you think! Please share your feedback in the replies and reblogs of this post, or by reaching out to Tumblr Support.

[txttletale]

Saw a tweet that said something around:

"cannot emphasize enough how horrid chatgpt is, y'all. it's depleting our global power & water supply, stopping us from thinking or writing critically, plagiarizing human artists. today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools. this isn't a world we deserve"

I've seen some of your AI posts and they seem nuanced, but how would you respond do this? Cause it seems fairly-on point and like the crux of most worries. Sorry if this is a troublesome ask, just trying to learn so any input would be appreciated.

i would simply respond that almost none of that is true.

'depleting the global power and water supply'

something i've seen making the roudns on tumblr is that chatgpt queries use 3 watt-hours per query. wow, that sounds like a lot, especially with all the articles emphasizing that this is ten times as much as google search. let's check some other very common power uses:

running a microwave for ten minutes is 133 watt-hours

gaming on your ps5 for an hour is 200 watt-hours

watching an hour of netflix is 800 watt-hours

and those are just domestic consumer electricty uses!

a single streetlight's typical operation 1.2 kilowatt-hours a day (or 1200 watt-hours)

a digital billboard being on for an hour is 4.7 kilowatt-hours (or 4700 watt-hours)

i think i've proved my point, so let's move on to the bigger picture: there are estimates that AI is going to cause datacenters to double or even triple in power consumption in the next year or two! damn that sounds scary. hey, how significant as a percentage of global power consumption are datecenters?

1-1.5%.

ah. well. nevertheless!

what about that water? yeah, datacenters use a lot of water for cooling. 1.7 billion gallons (microsoft's usage figure for 2021) is a lot of water! of course, when you look at those huge and scary numbers, there's some important context missing. it's not like that water is shipped to venus: some of it is evaporated and the rest is generally recycled in cooling towers. also, not all of the water used is potable--some datacenters cool themselves with filtered wastewater.

most importantly, this number is for all data centers. there's no good way to separate the 'AI' out for that, except to make educated guesses based on power consumption and percentage changes. that water figure isn't all attributable to AI, plenty of it is necessary to simply run regular web servers.

but sure, just taking that number in isolation, i think we can all broadly agree that it's bad that, for example, people are being asked to reduce their household water usage while google waltzes in and takes billions of gallons from those same public reservoirs.

but again, let's put this in perspective: in 2017, coca cola used 289 billion liters of water--that's 7 billion gallons! bayer (formerly monsanto) in 2018 used 124 million cubic meters--that's 32 billion gallons!

so, like. yeah, AI uses electricity, and water, to do a bunch of stuff that is basically silly and frivolous, and that is broadly speaking, as someone who likes living on a planet that is less than 30% on fire, bad. but if you look at the overall numbers involved it is a miniscule drop in the ocean! it is a functional irrelevance! it is not in any way 'depleting' anything!

'stopping us from thinking or writing critically'

this is the same old reactionary canard we hear over and over again in different forms. when was this mythic golden age when everyone was thinking and writing critically? surely we have all heard these same complaints about tiktok, about phones, about the internet itself? if we had been around a few hundred years earlier, we could have heard that "The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth."

it is a reactionary narrative of societal degeneration with no basis in anything. yes, it is very funny that laywers have lost the bar for trusting chatgpt to cite cases for them. but if you think that chatgpt somehow prevented them from thinking critically about its output, you're accusing the tail of wagging the dog.

nobody who says shit like "oh wow chatgpt can write every novel and movie now. yiou can just ask chatgpt to give you opinions and ideas and then use them its so great" was, like, sitting in the symposium debating the nature of the sublime before chatgpt released. there is no 'decay', there is no 'decline'. you should be suspicious of those narratives wherever you see them, especially if you are inclined to agree!

plagiarizing human artists

nah. i've been over this ad infinitum--nothing 'AI art' does could be considered plagiarism without a definition so preposterously expansive that it would curtail huge swathes of human creative expression.

AI art models do not contain or reproduce any images. the result of them being trained on images is a very very complex statistical model that contains a lot of large-scale statistical data about all those images put together (and no data about any of those individual images).

to draw a very tortured comparison, imagine you had a great idea for how to make the next Great American Painting. you loaded up a big file of every norman rockwell painting, and you made a gigantic excel spreadsheet. in this spreadsheet you noticed how regularly elements recurred: in each cell you would have something like "naturalistic lighting" or "sexually unawakened farmers" and the % of times it appears in his paintings. from this, you then drew links between these cells--what % of paintings containing sexually unawakened farmers also contained naturalistic lighting? what % also contained a white guy?

then, if you told someone else with moderately competent skill at painting to use your excel spreadsheet to generate a Great American Painting, you would likely end up with something that is recognizably similar to a Norman Rockwell painting: but any charge of 'plagiarism' would be absolutely fucking absurd!

this is a gross oversimplification, of course, but it is much closer to how AI art works than the 'collage machine' description most people who are all het up about plagiarism talk about--and if it were a collage machine, it would still not be plagiarising because collages aren't plagiarism.

(for a better and smarter explanation of the process from soneone who actually understands it check out this great twitter thread by @reachartwork)

today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools

i mean, this is true! AI tools are definitely going to destroy livelihoods. they will increase productivty for skilled writers and artists who learn to use them, which will immiserate those jobs--they will outright replace a lot of artists and writers for whom quality is not actually important to the work they do (this has already essentially happened to the SEO slop website industry and is in the process of happening to stock images).

jobs in, for example, product support are being cut for chatgpt. and that sucks for everyone involved. but this isn't some unique evil of chatgpt or machine learning, this is just the effect that technological innovation has on industries under capitalism!

there are plenty of innovations that wiped out other job sectors overnight. the camera was disastrous for portrait artists. the spinning jenny was famously disastrous for the hand-textile workers from which the luddites drew their ranks. retail work was hit hard by self-checkout machines. this is the shape of every single innovation that can increase productivity, as marx explains in wage labour and capital:

“The greater division of labour enables one labourer to accomplish the work of five, 10, or 20 labourers; it therefore increases competition among the labourers fivefold, tenfold, or twentyfold. The labourers compete not only by selling themselves one cheaper than the other, but also by one doing the work of five, 10, or 20; and they are forced to compete in this manner by the division of labour, which is introduced and steadily improved by capital. Furthermore, to the same degree in which the division of labour increases, is the labour simplified. The special skill of the labourer becomes worthless. He becomes transformed into a simple monotonous force of production, with neither physical nor mental elasticity. His work becomes accessible to all; therefore competitors press upon him from all sides. Moreover, it must be remembered that the more simple, the more easily learned the work is, so much the less is its cost to production, the expense of its acquisition, and so much the lower must the wages sink – for, like the price of any other commodity, they are determined by the cost of production. Therefore, in the same manner in which labour becomes more unsatisfactory, more repulsive, do competition increase and wages decrease”

this is the process by which every technological advancement is used to increase the domination of the owning class over the working class. not due to some inherent flaw or malice of the technology itself, but due to the material realtions of production.

so again the overarching point is that none of this is uniquely symptomatic of AI art or whatever ever most recent technological innovation. it is symptomatic of capitalism. we remember the luddites primarily for failing and not accomplishing anything of meaning.

if you think it's bad that this new technology is being used with no consideration for the planet, for social good, for the flourishing of human beings, then i agree with you! but then your problem shouldn't be with the technology--it should be with the economic system under which its use is controlled and dictated by the bourgeoisie.

[lylianrae]

A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪

We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.

Long hair

AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).

As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.

Manifesting my way into a private school

Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.

I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.

Curly hair / straight hair

Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.

Social life?

This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).

However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".

Clear skin

This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.

Desired university?

Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".

Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".

I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.

A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.

Photographic memory

So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.

Learning fast

This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.

Hourglass body + 22" waist

This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.

Bigger boobs

This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).

I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye

[batboyblog]

2024 Senate Elections: You'd Better VOTE!

Yes it's election year yet again in America! but not just for President, almost as important will be the US Senate!

I'm not gonna lie this is a rough map for Democrats, we're playing a lot of defense in some pretty red states with even our best hopes for a pick up being pretty long shots. But even with narrow control of the Senate we've managed the biggest climate bill in American History a huge infrastructure bill thats bring high speed rail to America capped the price of insulin changed the law to allow Medicare to negotiate drug prices bring savings to everyone, and put over 160 federal judges on the bench, 2/3rds of whom are women and/or people of color the first time white men haven't been the majority of nominees by a President. So let's keep progress going by voting for, supporting, donating, and volunteering for the following candidates in the races that will decide the US Senate this year.

Arizona

Ruben Gallego (Hold)

After frustrating Democrats by repeatedly voting against major Democratic priorities, supporting the filibuster and putting donors over voters, Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema left the Democratic Party to become an independent in 2022. Democratic congressman Ruben Gallego was running to primary Sinema before she left the party and is now the likely Democratic nominee to unseat her and give Arizona the Democratic Senator it deserves. Gallego is a former Marine, combat veteran, Harvard grad, a former state representative, and since 2014 a member of Congress. Gallego is a member of the Progressive Caucus and is known for his blunt and combative style standing up to Republicans. In Congress Gallego has been a strong supporter of native rights advocating for tribes on health care and child welfare issues. Gallego is also the sponsor of a bill to bring about nation wide, free, all-day kindergarten which isn't available in many states. If elected Gallego would be Arizona's first hispanic Senator. Republicans hope that the Democratic vote will split between Sinema and Gallego allowing them to win this important seat. The Republican front runner is conspiracy theorist and Trump super fan, Kari Lake. Lake rose to national fame in 2021 for pushing conspiracy theories about Trump having won the 2020 election, as well as anti-mask and anti-vaccine Covid conspiracies. Lake was the Republican nominee for Arizona governor in 2022. During that campaign she ran on an aggressive anti-LGBT platform, saying she'd ban drag, and was against trans rights. Lake also is against Abortion in all cases. After losing to Democrat Katie Hobbs, Lake refused to concede, and still pushes the conspiracy theory that she's the rightful governor of Arizona. If you live in Arizona please make sure you vote, but more if you have any time between now and November, volunteer to help Gallego! and if you don't live there you can still Donate or buy a pro-choice shirt from his campaign!

Vote Volunteer Donate Shop

Florida

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell (Flip)

Florida's current Republican Senator Rick Scott is a right wing extremist pushing dangerous ideas even by the standards of the Modern GOP. During his first term as Senator Scott has pushed to defund the IRS, and the Department of Education. He's sponsored bills to punish schools that allow students to use preferred pronouns, to ban affirmative action, bans teaching critical race theory, and ban trans people from women's sports. Scott is against abortion in all cases. Most alarming Rick Scott proposed a radical plan that would "sun-set" ANY and all federal laws after 5 years, including Social Security and Medicare, Scott would place all federal programs and agencies on the chopping block every 5 years for a radical Republican minority to block their renewal and leave us without Social Security, or the EPA, to name just two examples. The likely Democratic nominee is former Congresswoman Debbie Mucarsel-Powell. Born in Ecuador, Mucarsel-Powell immigrated to the US when she was 14 and had work to help support her family. When she was elected to Congress in 2018 she became the first South American born immigrant and first person of Ecuadorian heritage to be elected to Congress. In Congress Mucarsel-Powell was a member of the Progressive caucus, she fought to expand medicare, and secured $200 million for Everglades restoration. After a narrow defeat in 2020 Mucarsel-Powell joined the gun control advocacy group Giffords to fight for gun control a personal issue for her after her father was murdered when she was 24. If you're in Florida please make sure you vote, and Volunteer to help remove on of the most extreme Senators, If you're not in Florida you can help Debbie win by donating.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE

Michigan

Elissa Slotkin (hold)

Long time Democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow is retiring this election, so there will be a tough fight for control of this important swing state Senate seat. The likely Democratic nominee is Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin. Slotkin is a former CIA analyst, after retiring from the CIA she worked in the State and Defense departments during the Obama administration. Slotkin was first elected to Congress in 2018 winning and being re-elected in a tough swing district. In Congress she's fought for common sense gun control, supported the cap on insulin prices and Medicare drug price negotiation, she helped pass a law on drug price transparency, she championed the CHIP act to bring high tech manufacturing jobs back to America, and was a big supporter of Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Slotkin is centering a pro-choice message in her campaign as well as gun control and bring down medical costs. Who the Republicans will pick isn't totally clear, it seems like it's between Former Congressman Mike Rogers and former Detroit Police chief James Craig. Craig ran for Michigan governor in 2022 before he was disqualified for fraudulent signatures on his nominating petition. Craig has listed cutting off US support to Ukraine as one of his top priorities, and endorsed Trump's 3rd run for President early in the primaries. Mike Rogers is also trying to win over Trump voters and has attacked the rights of LGBT students in schools calling it "social engineering". If you live in Michigan make sure to get out and vote, and also volunteer! And for everyone outside the state you can donate or buy some merch.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Montana

Jon Tester (re-elect)

In most contexts Montana is a deep red state going for Trump in 2020 57% to 40%. This makes the reelection of Montana's only Democratic member of Congress and only statewide elected Democrat, Jon Tester maybe the toughest election for Democrats this year. A Senator since he was first elected in 2006 Tester has won a series of upset wins in Montana over the years. A 3rd generation farmer Tester has been as strong for small farmers and ranchers in Washington. Tester has always been a champion of accountably and transparency in government pushing ethnics and campaign finance reforms. Tester is rated one of the most effective senators and managed to pass more bills last year than any one else in Congress. He's never been afraid to stand up for the Democratic side even if it'd be an unpopular vote in Red Montana. Tester voted to impeach Trump twice, and he voted against all 3 of Trump's nominees to the Supreme Court. He supported President Obama on The Affordable Care Act and Dodd-Frank, and has supported President Biden on the Inflation Reduction Act and Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. Republicans seem likely to nominate right wing influencer and former Navy SEAL Tim Sheehy. Sheehy promises to get drag queens out of schools and the Lord's Prayer in to the classroom. He also hopes to repeal Obamacare calling for a "total privatization" of health care and made statements against the very idea of health insurance, insisting people should pay full price at point of use. If you're a Montanan make sure to vote to re-elect a champion of the little guy, and also volunteer! if you're not please think of donating what you can, if you can only give to one campaign this cycle this one, or Ohio are the most important!

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Nevada

Jacky Rosen (re-elect)

First elected to Congress in 2016 Jacky Rosen moved up to the Senate in 2018. In her first term as a Senator Rosen has championed green energy for Nevada. Together with fellow Democratic Nevada Senator Catherine Cortez Masto, Rosen has gotten millions for solar manufacturing in Nevada as well as millions to replace the state's school buses with electric, and programs to study new groundbreaking green technology. Senator Rosen has been a supporter of gun control, is in favor of banning assault weapons. She sponsored a bill, the Background Check Expansion Act, that would require background checks for all gun sales closing loopholes for on-line sales and gun shows. Rosen is pro-choice and has sponsored a bill to protect doctors from being prosecuted across state lines for providing reproductive care, and is a co-sponsor of a bill to codify Roe V. Wade into federal law. Rosen will likely face Republican celebrity and army veteran Sam Brown. Brown ran and lost a race for the Texas State House in 2014 and ran and lost for Nevada's other Senate seat in 2022. Brown stated he was in favor of getting rid of the Departments of Education, Transportation, and Energy. Brown is against Red Flag gun laws that allow police to temporarily remove fire arms from the home of someone deemed a danger to themselves or others. Brown also has refused to say if he supports a national abortion ban, but does say he's pro-life and wouldn't support any judges that weren't. If you live in Nevada make sure to get out to vote and volunteer to protect the state's green future and the right to reproductive care. If you're not in Nevada consider donating or buying some merch.

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Ohio

Sherrod Brown (re-elect)

Ohio together with Montana represents the toughest re-elect for Democrats this year. The state went for Trump twice, elected a right wing radical, JD Vaince, to the Senate in 2022 and has had a Republican governor since 2010. To complicate thing more Democrat Sherrod Brown is one of the most progressive members of the Senate, regularly scoring along side Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren for the most left wing in the Senate. From the time he was first elected to Congress in 1992 Brown refused to take the Congressional Health Insurance until all Americans could be covered. Brown first supported a Medicare for all bill in 2006 and has supported different efforts to expand Medicare and health coverage. He was a key supporter of the Children Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Brown is a strong supporter of unions and has struggled his whole career to protect unionized manufacturing jobs in Ohio. He was one of the first Senators out on the picket line during the UAW strike of 2023. Brown's hard work has help make Ohio the center of a new booming lithium battery manufacturing in America, a green manufacturing future for the state. Republicans look likely to nominate former used car dealer and father-in-law of Republican Congressman Max Miller, Bernie Moreno. Moreno's main qualification seems to be having been endorsed by Donald Trump. He lists among his priorities "End Socialism in America" and "End Wokeness and Cancel Culture". If you're in Ohio make sure to vote to re-elect a progressive giant and volunteer too! If you live out of Ohio donate, if you're looking for the race where your dollar will matter the most, this one or Montana guys.

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Pennsylvania

Bob Casey Jr. (re-elect)

First elected in 2006 Bob Casey famously beat incumbent Republican homophobe Rick Santorum by 17 points. Since first entering the Senate Casey has moved leftward on a number of issues. First elected as a pro-Gun Democrat since 2012 Casey has sponsored a number of bills to expand background checks, ban assault weapons, ban extended magazines, and well as supporting mental health funds for victims of gun violence. For a number of years Casey was called the last pro-life Democrat in the Senate, however in 2022 he came out in support of Roe V Wade and voted twice on bills that would have codified the right to an abortion into federal law. Casey voted against all 3 of Trump's Supreme Court picks and has long supported Planned Parenthood's contraception efforts with federal funds, seeing easily available birth control as key to reducing the number of abortions. In 2021 Casey published a plan he called "The Five Freedoms for America's Children" modeled after FDR's famous speech. He proposed automatically enrolling all kids in Medicaid, an expanded child tax cut, a federally supported college fund for all kids who's parents make under $100,000, expanded free school meals, more funds for head start and abuse prevention programs. Republicans are rallying behind Mitch McConnell's hand picked candidate, hedge fund CEO David McCormick. McCormick worked for the Bush administration during Bush's second term. McCormick's wife Dina Powell also worked for the George W. Bush administration and was a senior aid to Trump as well. If you're in Pennsylvania make sure to get out and vote for a solid Democrat out to solve child poverty in America and keep the Hedge Fund guy from Connecticut out, and Volunteer if you can. Remember you can donate where ever you are.

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Texas

Colin Allred (flip)

Texas is currently represented by likely the most hated man in Washington, Ted Cruz. Republicans hate him, Democrats hate him more, he has a very punchable face, he might be the zodiac killer (thats a joke and meme). From shutting down the government in 2013 to try to overturn Obamacare, to leading the charge in Congress to overturn the 2020 election on January 6th Ted Cruz is a greatest hits of the worst parts of the Republican Party of the last 10 years. When Texas lost power in the middle of a historic ice storm in 2021 Ted Cruz and family ditched the state to go on vacation in Mexico, classy. Cruz in the Biden years has cast himself as a culture warrior fighting against "woke" publishing a book "Unwoke: How to Defeat Cultural Marxism in America" in 2023 to kick off his re-election campaign. Texas is a traditionally red state but things are starting to shift and in 2018 Cruz narrowly won re-election over Beto O'Rourke. Democrats hope with the right candidate they can turn Texas blue and beat the most hated Senator in America. Democrats think Congressman Colin Allred is the man for the job. Allred is a former NFL Linebacker for the Titans. After the NFL he went on to get his law degree from UC Berkeley, and work in the Obama administration. Allred was first elected to Congress in 2018, unseating a Republican who'd been in office since 1997 and becoming the first Democrat to represent the area in Congress since 1968. In Congress Allred has supported bills to expand voting right and protect abortion rights, as well as gun control. In the Senate he promises to address Texas' shaky power grid and make sure Texas is never left in the dark again with its leaders missing. Lets do this Texas, make blue Texas a reality if you live in Texas remember to vote and volunteer, if you're an American who hates Ted Cruz you can donate to make in unemployed.

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Wisconsin

Tammy Baldwin (re-elect)

When Tammy Baldwin first ran for Congress in 1998 she was the first openly gay person elected to the US House and the first open Lesbian to serve in Congress. In 2012 she became the first openly gay person elected to the US Senate and the first Lesbian to be a Senator, she is still the only openly gay Senator. Through out her time in office Baldwin has been a tireless voice for LGBT rights, in 2022 she helped spear head the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act to help protect gay marriage, she's also a sponsor of the Equality Act to protect all LGBT people from discrimination. Baldwin is a progressive who was a member of the House Progressive caucus, opposed the Iraq War and supported impeaching Dick Cheney. In the House she introduced bills for a single payer healthcare system in 2000, 2002, 2004, and 2005. In the Senate Baldwin is regularly listed as one of the most progressive members, voting against tax cuts for the rich, supporting a bill to require companies to have workers on their boards, she sponsored a bill to create a public option in Health Care, and has supported gun control efforts. The Republican field to challenge Senator Baldwin is uncertain, but former Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke dominates the polls if he decides to run. Clarke's sheriff's department is accused a number of human rights violations from his time as sheriff, including allowing a prisoner to die of dehydration after 6 days without water in the Milwaukee County Jail. Clarke is a Trump super fan who has pushed conspiracy theories about mass shootings being fake, attacked Black Lives Matter, called Planned Parenthood "Planned Genocide", and called for the mass detention without trial of Americans because he believed there were a million ISIS supporters in America. If you're in Wisconsin make sure to get out and vote for a trailblazing icon and also volunteer if you can, all Americans can donate and support Baldwin wherever they are.

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and the smallest thing you can do is reblog this very long post, thank you!

[httpsserene]

can you do a smau if you want where the reader is a driver and makes music on the side (music like sza or Megan thee stallion and kaliii) and she makes a music video for area codes and all her other music and it has the drivers in it

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 (𝐟𝟏) - 𝐲𝐧. 𝟎

summary: you make hit songs when you’re not driving a formula one car. your fellow drivers love to feature in your music videos. content warning: driver!reader makes music. toxic internet culture. profanity. hateful comments. attempt at humor. fluffy. light angst ig. there's no specific face claim, just pretty black women! ex-haas driver, current aston martin driver!reader. reader is american. seb retires in 2021, fernando is on the grid just not with aston martin. nikita mazepin mention lol. lando norris and george russell get bullied (humor). light british slander. no plot just vibes. pairing: platonic f1 grid x fem!black!driver!reader genre: smau.

from serene: i have a disease and it's called "being unable to make a normal length smau." it's a sickness, idk if i'll ever be abl to fulfill a request without the plot running away from me. anyways, enjoy loves xxx

⌕ join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻

yn ln signs multi-year contract with aston martin • espn f1 • 2021 post-season

ESPN F1 yn ln has signed a multi-year contract with Aston Martin! The American driver completes the team’s lineup with Lance Stroll. Even though she was an F4, F3, and GP3 Champion, and she won the F2 Championship on her first try with Prema; her F1 career began with unexpected opportunities and last-minute substitutions—becoming a reserve driver for Haas and filling in for Romain Grosjean after his accident in 2020, and then replacing Nikita Mazepin halfway through the 2021 F1 season—an official seat of her own in Formula One was a long time coming and well deserved. Congratulations to yn ln, the first Black woman to race in Formula One!

instagram • yn0 • 2022 pre-season

liked by astonmartinf1, lewishamilton, maxverstappen, sza, and 3,451,967 others

yn0: i have always believed that being an f1 driver would become my reality. it was a never a dream to me because i KNEW i was going to make it here. i’m incredibly thankful to haas for giving my first chance to race in the big league and i will miss all the incredible people who helped me grow and improve while i was there. however, i am extremely grateful and excited to have a seat of my own at aston martin in 2022 and onward. some critics have called me "conceited" to bet on myself, so i made a song just for them < 3

tagged astonmartinf1

view comments

yn0 on sundays, we wear green 💚

➥ user1 you're an inspiration to all women in motorsport, especially women of color 💚💚💚

➥ user2 praying that your aston is quicker than your haas! prove the haters wrong 😤

astonmartinf1: we'll bet on you every race! can't wait to play this in the garage 💚

haasf1team: take care of our songbird 🥲

➥ haasf1team: and keep the tea and honey STOCKED for her vocal cords

➥ user3: i’m gonna cry :(

user4: yeah who paid for her seat? no way she got it off skill. she's never been above p12. f1 has changed for the worse now that a woman's out there. she's a hazard.

➥ user5: incel mindset 😒

➥ user6: bro she was in a haas. reaching p12 in that car is enough of an achievement. better than mazepin ever did, even with his daddy's money 🤷‍♂️

lewishamilton: LFG 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 can't wait to see you in the paddock

➥ yn0: lfgggggg 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

➥ yn0: i wouldn't be racing at all if i didn't see you do it first :)

sebastianvettel: prove them all wrong and never apologize for it.

➥ yn0: i learned from the best 🥹 happy retirement, seb!

mickschumacher: "no reason to make friends, i'm cool"??? is that line about somebody else or should i be worried 🤨

➥ maxverstappen: yeah let us know 🙄 your seat on the jet can be revoked

➥ yn0: bros...we all know who it's really about

➥ user8: you can say it's about mazepin nobody will be mad at that 🤗🤗🤗

landonorris: wish it was papaya, but i can't wait to see you in green!

➥ yn0: you know what?i think I CAN wait

➥ yn0: i'm actually going to quit f1 rn i think 😐

➥ user9: lando stop, get some help

lancestroll: hi teammate!

➥ yn0: hi teammate!

➥ user6: oh,,, this is awkward

charlesleclerc: finally 🙌🏻 i thought you would never drop this song

➥ yn0: the music is more important than my f1 seat to you 🙂

➥ charlesleclerc: encore encore encore 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

georgerussell: i would be happy for you if i didn't know this meant you'll be bullying me every race weekend

➥ alexalbon: she smells your fear which makes you an easy target

➥ alexalbon: CONGRATSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳

➥ yn0: 🤭

instagram • yn0 • 2022

liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton, megantheestallion, and 2,191,042 others

yn0: thee "cognac queen" learns how to celebrate their FIRST EVER f1 points in italy with their honorary prince 🇮🇹 im in my gacccc, i wanna danceeee, come get yo man, come getcho maaaannnnn 🍾🍾🍾

tagged charlesleclerc

view comments

user10: WOOOOOAH WHATS ABOUT TO PLAY 😳

➥ user11: she PUT IT ON HIM last night apparently 🫣

➥ user12: he calling her BACK TO BACK????

astonmartinf1: you only win first points once but you only have one liver. please show up to the paddock next week 🥴

➥ yn0: don't worry admin i'll be there bright and early!

➥ user13: drink responsibly kids alcohol poisoning is not fun

➥ user14: aston martin shouldn't stress. it sounds like charles took very good care of her 😏😏😏

user15: i feel like i shouldn't be allowed to watch that video (i'm 23)

➥ user16: they were having a tiiiiiiiiime out in italy 🫦

➥ user17: if she was all over me like she was on charles i would be asking about marriage. he's so much stronger than i am 🙂‍↔️

charlesleclerc: went courvoisier crazyyyy

➥ charlesleclerc: je suis très fière de toi (i'm very proud of you) ❤️

➥ yn0: thank you charlieee (for the mv too x) 😚

➥ user18: oh so she really got charles thinking that he's her man???

➥ user19: you were DOGGING it? i didn’t know charles had it in him 🐶🐶🐶

user20: ew this is gross. charles is in a happy relationship and we're all going to pretend like yn isn't a homewrecker???

➥ user21: i was waiting to see this comment! this is like proof she used her body to get on the grid 👀

mickschumacher: no way you put charles in a video before me...i thought we were locked in 😞

➥ yn0: mick be so for real. you hate cognac :(

➥ user22: mick said we suffered through haas together and you already forgot about me

landonorris: are you looking for a cognac king?

➥ alexalbon: boys point and laugh 🫵🏼🤣

➥ charlesleclerc: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ maxverstappen: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ georgerussell: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ mickschumacher: 🫵🏻🤣🤣🤣💀

➥ user23: 🫵🏾🤣

lewishamilton: xnda feature when you make it on the podium

➥ yn0: i'll be up there next week.

➥ user24: bring back xnda girl !!! for all of us 🙇🏽‍♀️

instagram • yn0 • 2022

liked by alexalbon, astonmartinf1, maxverstappen, sza, and 4,233,761 others

yn0: my girl is my girl, is your girl, heard that's his girl too...he's like 9 to 5, i'm "the weekend"

tagged alexalbon, lilymhe

view comments

astonmartinf1: highest race finish of your career can you drop a fire song to celebrate 🥵

➥ lancestroll: team karaoke when????

➥ yn0: make it happen and i will show out for y'all 💯

user25: this video was funny af! my favorite song from you so far 😁

➥ user26: yessss i was not expecting her to flip the song in the video like that 🤌🏻💋

➥ user27: the premise of her and alex fighting over lily was perfect 👌🏽

lilymhe: make me lose my mind every weekend 😮‍💨

➥ alexalbon: you take wednesday thurday 🧎🏼‍♂️‍➡️

➥ yn0: then just send her my wayyyyy 🤤

➥ user28: think i got it covered for the weekend 🎤🎶

landonorris: i'm available any day of the week with no other commitments blocking my schedule ☺️

➥ georgerussell: mate this is embarrasing

➥ mickschumacer: lando no wins & no rizz what a shame 😒

➥ user29: MICK CHILLLLL ⁉️⁉️

➥ user30: whatdidhedo to deserve that calm downnnn

➥ charlesleclerc: lando please just listen to the song like everybody else this is painful to see 😣

maxverstappen: you laced this song with something addictive

➥ schecoperez: i hear it on repeat through the wall he is not lying

➥ user31: yn ln gives you wings 🤪

user32: just because lily was in the video and yn made the focus of the song about her doesn't mean that the orginal song is okay? it's not like she stopped singing about being a side chick.

➥ user33: no, it literally IS okay. because lily and alex both said they made the song with her and were happy to be in the video 🙂

➥ user34: i don't know, lily agreeing to the video makes me dislike her

➥ user35: yeah this song was a miss not a good message at all

instagram • danica patrick • 2022

liked by 10,764 others

danicapatrick: “This past weekend the Aston Martin F1 crew celebrated yn’s P5 finish track side and, honestly, that was unnecessary. It’s not like she managed to reach the podium and personally, I feel like she doesn’t take F1 seriously. I mean, it seems like she spends more time making explicit songs than she does preparing for a race weekend. Her little songs are a distraction to the men on the grid and she appears as a promiscuous, immature, and unfocused girl. She’s not the formula one standard, in my opinion.”

I discuss yn ln’s career in the new episode of my podcast, Pretty Intense! Click the link in my bio to hear it all!

tagged prettyintensebydanica

view comments

user36: ms. patrick are you familiar with the idea of having a hobby 🤔

nicorosberg: how are you qualified to be an expert on sky sports?

user37: woman who's never raced in f1 gives her unsolicited opinion on the only black woman to race in f1 😂

user38: danica this screams jealousy girl

user39: nothing is worse than hearing a fellow girl hate like a man smh

user40: "her little songs" disrespectful as hell don't forget one of them charted on billboard's top 10 😤

user41: SHE GOT P5 IN AN ASTON MARTIN how is that not taking f1 seriously????

user42: if her songs were a distraction to the men on the grid aren't they the ones who should be described as unfocused🤫

➥ user42: anyways, yn would be doing us a favor. maybe max wouldn't win as many races if that were the case

instagram • yn0 • 2022 post-season

liked by dominicfike, keithpowers, tchalamet, summerwalker, and 7,988,531 others

yn0: "girls need love," too.

view comments

user43: OH MY GOD the drought is over 😭😭😭

➥ user44: i thought we'd never get another song after the hate she was getting for it 😫

michaelbjordan: are you interested in a private studio session?

➥ landonorris: she don't want u lil bro 🤣

➥ user45: yn's pulling with three photo's and a song,,,teach me your ways

astonmartinf1: the spine tattoo 😍 good choice to get it during the off-season 💚

➥ user46: i misjudged you aston... i thought y'all told her to stop making music glad to see the support is still there :)

mickschumacher: let’s go get some gelato?

➥ yn0: as long as you don’t snitch to my trainer 😚

➥ mickschumacher: i’ll pick you up 😇

➥ landonorris: imma bout to crash TF out ong 💢💢

patriciooward: there's a spot on my side of the garage whenever you want to watch an indycar race

➥ landonorris: oh wow is this really what we're doing pato 😐

➥ user47: the tension in this comment section scares me

jjetas2: if you're near minnesota one day fall through

➥ landonorris: win a superbowl first 🥱😴

➥ user48: LANDO you haven't won a race or a championship either 😭

judebellingham: have you gotten any better at football since the last time we spoke?

➥ landonorris: knew i supported man united for a reason 😒

lore_musetti: call me if you want a real italian to give you a tour of italy x

➥ landonorris: didn't know an italian could disrespect charles like that honestly 🤨

➥ user49: 💀💀💀

instagram • yn0 • 2023

liked by georgerussell, mickschumacher, megantheestallion, and 4,178,063 others

yn0: japanese nightlife captured in my new music video “mamushi” !!! thank uuu yuki-san for being my tour guide 💋💋💋💋💋💋

tagged yukitsunoda

view comments

georgerussell: i quite enjoy this song 😌

➥ alexalbon: bro what

➥ yn0: tEa aND cRuMPets SConEs AnD biScUIts 💂🇬🇧

charlesleclerc: triple platinum in my house rn ⭐️⭐️⭐️

➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i'm responsible for at least a million views on my own 🥱

➥ yn0: 💚💚💚💚💚

user50: at least we know that yn and yuki can qualify for formula drift if they ever lose their f1 seat

➥ user51: 95% of the driving they were doing in that video looked illegal (but fun asl i'm not a buzzkill)

➥ user52: she's a bad influence on yuki 🙄

➥ user53: i don't think you're familiar with yuki tsunoda at all @/user52

maxverstappen: yeah the song is catchy; where's mine 🥱

➥ yn0: damn you're gonna win a third championship this year and you want a song too 😱

➥ yn0: just big and greedy fr 😒

➥ user54: big back attitude

➥ user55: like sheesh leave something for the rest of us 🤯

user50: gets p3 in suzuka driving an aston 🗿-> shrugs when asked how she did it 🗿 -> makes a banger mv in japan with yuki 🗿 -> refuses to elaborate 🗿

pierregasly: yuki explain your behavior in this video

➥ yukitsunoda: no 🤗

➥ user56: maybe he would've told you if you stayed at alphatauri

➥ user57: now you're in an alpine 🫵🏻😭

instagram • yn0 • 2023 post-season

liked by charlesleclerc, logansargeant, glorillathepimp, and 9,337,272 others

yn0: he don't "wanna be" saved don't save him 🤫

tagged maxverstappen

view comments

yn0: i don't need insurance cause a bitch CAN'T WRECK ME

➥ user58: no like she's never been in a crash her entire f1 career 🤓

➥ user59: she's untouchable srs

logansargeant: WHITE BOY WASTED CHANNING TATUM

➥ yn0: hoes love me like justin bieber 👅👅👅

user60: omg an old picture from yn's haas era when max's redbull wasn't a rocket ship 😩

➥ haasf1team: good times

➥ astonmartinf1: 💚💚💚

maxverstappen: you graduated from the max verstappen school of being unstoppable 😼

➥ charlesleclerc: austria 2022

➥ georgerussell: brazil 2022

➥ mickschumacher: my dad’s 7 championships

➥ alexalbon: i have nothing to add (literally)

➥ maxverstappen: out of the five of us we have three total world championships and they're all mine 😐

glorillathepimp: go yn 🥵

➥ yn0: get it glo 👅

➥ user61: i am no better than a man

➥ user62: i want this video tattooed on my eyelids

mickschumacher: i don't wanna be saved don't save me

➥ yn0: on gang 🤞🏾🔒🙅🏾‍♀️

kellypiquet: twenty missed calls...

➥ yn0: i would like to initiate a trade! i offer: max :) in return i receive: my twin p 🤲🏾

➥ kellypiquet: i will have a bag packed for her TONIGHT

➥ user63: kelly definitely won in that trade agreement! a childfree night??? sign me the fuck up ‼️

user64: i didn't think it was possible but this song is the worst thing she's ever made 😂

➥ user65: it's weird. max is in a committed relationship with a woman and has bonded with her kid. yn's getting involved with him when she shouldn't be 🤷‍♀️

➥ user66: girl she's been around since wayyyy before kelly as max's friend.

➥ user67: she forced max into friendship when they were karting back when he thought he couldn't have racing friends🥺

➥ user66: trauma bonded besties fr

sky sports f1 • 2024 testing

instagram • yn0 • 2024

liked by natalie_pinkham, danielricciardo, laybankz and 5,438,023 others

yn0: (my honest reaction when the internet can't stop talking shit about me) can't i make fun music videos without being called a homewrecker or a whore? sometimes "girls just wanna" f1 !

view comments

user68: no bc she makes hot girl music and y'all dont appreciate it 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

➥ user69: if you don't like her music you're not a baddie i don't make the rules 🙅🏻‍♀️

user70: did she just make the song of the summer 😱😵‍💫☠️

➥ user71: song of the YEAR !!! and people calling her a whore smh

landonorris: what if you make an mv with me and instead of being called a whore i call you my girlfriend?

➥ mickschumacher: corny. delete your account 🚮

➥ user72: i disagree with mick, he ate that up imo 👀

➥ user73: isn't he messing around with that model/actress though…

➥ user74: you mean m*gui lol

➥ yn0: who's that

➥ user74: lando's recent sneaky link or gf i thought

➥ yn0: oh

charlesleclerc: if i were to call you one thing it would not be homewrecker or whore ✊🏻

➥ charlesleclerc: it would be hit-maker because you DO NOT MISS 😩

➥ alexalbon: one could even call her the 🐐

➥ georgerussell: grammy caliber artist

➥ maxverstappen: they compare her to lebron and simone biles in discussion of being the greatest of all time 😌

➥ yn0: just yesterday y'all said i give slut energy (affectionately) 😕

➥ maxverstappen: many things can be true at the same time

➥ charlesleclerc: false ‼️ accusations

sabrinacarpenter: girls just wanna have fun 😋

➥ user75: OMG sabrina what are you doing here

➥ user76: what in the disney channel crossover episode is going on

imessage • yn -> lando

instagram • yn0 • 2024

liked by mclaren, mickschumacher, lewishamilton, laybankz, and 8,765,392 others

yn0: dropping the "tell ur girlfriend" video tonight as celebration for lando's first win (me next please!) i DO NOT codone cheating but the song is too hard for me to pretend like it's not a banger 🤪

tagged landonorris

view comments

landonorris: you look good in papaya 🧡🧡🧡

➥ astonmartinf1: it's a little too much for our tastes 🤢

➥ yn0: i look good in any color but i do happen to prefer green 💚

➥ user77: i think lando's on to smth w the orange tho 🤔

landonorris: that's my girlfriend !!!!

➥ yn0: NO I AM NOT ❌❌❌

➥ yn0: WE WERE ACTING IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO

➥ yn0: LANDO I WILL SUE YOU FOR DEFAMATION 🤬

➥ landonorris: i'll wait for you 😔

➥ mickschumacher: she's so uninterested in you mate 🙃

user78: he gets his first win and a yn ln music video i know he's on cloud nine 😭😭😭

➥ user79: lando how does it feel to be living my dream 😩

oscarpiastri: oh thank god maybe he'll stop talking about you nonstop now that he got a video 🙏🏻

➥ landonorris: bro delete this comment

➥ user80: i screenshotted it too late 🫡

user81: she doesn't condone cheating but makes a song promoting it anyways 😑

➥ user82: she doesn't condone cheating but messes with lando even though she knows he's taken by magui 😑

➥ user83: she doesn't condone cheating but makes a song about it because it sounds fucking fire 🫦👅🔥🔥🔥

alexalbon: great video too much lando for me 😪

➥ georgerussell: he really just ruined the vibe

➥ charlesleclerc: y'all just mad you haven't been in one of her videos yet 🙂‍↔️

➥ maxverstappen: i don't see how you can hate from outside of the club 🤷🏼‍♂️

➥ landonorris: you can't even get in 🫵🏻🤣

twitter • yn0

instagram • yn -> the day ones

instagram • yn0 • 2024 post-season

liked by maxverstappen, fernandoalonso, zhouguanyu24, kaliii and 12,779,436 others

yn0: hoes mad about my roster being INTERNATIONAL smh stay mad and watch the music video for "area codes" it features all the men (my FRIENDS ✨) you'll never have a chance with 😇😚🤗🤭🤤💚💚💚

tagged f1

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user84: no xnda feature but she got lewis in the fucking video

user85: i just wannna know hwo the fuck she got checo to be in the video 💀

user86: idc what the haters say: she just said y'all have no motion, no aura, no bitches and what are you gonna do about it 😳😳😱

user89: she got lando and mick in a photo together??? how they've been beefing in her comments for years 😧

➥ user90: can't believe im saying this but esteban did not deserve to be punished like that 😬

georgerussell: i am the one feeding her pasta and lobster btw

➥ yn0: you don't send me money tho :(

➥ georgerussell: you are an f1 driver too you don't need my money 🧐

charlesleclerc: can you leave some talent for the rest of us 😒

➥ yn0: bro u are mozart on your days off be serious

lilymhe: cause why are u never in town 😞

➥ alexalbon: cause she'll steal you from me 😭😫

➥ yn0: i'm pulling up rn lils 🫦

lewishamilton: you want a mercedes or a xnda feature?

➥ yn0: im tryna take the mercedes seat you left behind 👀

➥ user91: omfg toto sign herrrrrrrr ✍️

maxverstappen: anything for my favorite lady 🙇🏼🧎🏼‍♂️

➥ yn0: i gotta go they just lmk that i could pick up my mercedes 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

user92: lando in two photos? sus

➥ landonorris: you said it not me 🤫

➥ mickschumacher: bro you acted like her shadow the entire night don't let it go to your head 😠

fernandoalonso: very fun song!

➥ user93: you too old to be doin all that fernando :/

➥ user94: literally choked when i saw him in the video

logansargeant: hey you did manage to get me in "one of your little music videos" 🤭

➥ yn0: if only they knew that you agreed with a bribe of two zebra cakes

➥ user95: they couldn't fathom the delicacy that is a zebra cake 🤤

yn0: stop pretending to dislike my songs and realize that the boys are my homies. you'll be a lot happier when you come to terms with that 🥱

© httpsserene 2024

[zykamiliah]

i think one of the most satisfying turns the bkdk/dkbk fandom experience has taken for me is that, when you read fanworks from 2021 or earlier you get the tsundere kacchan who'd never admit to feeling any kind of love related feeling to deku. and then i look at how canon went down and can't help the mad cackling because man we had no idea. we thought katsuki was gonna be like "as if i like you shitty deku go die *in denial*" for eternity. and hori really say: nuh uh. this boy COMMITS. this boy is gonna be SO OBSESSED and DEVOTED and he's gonna OWN IT. he's gonna be all "i'm gonna die thinking about him, i'm the one who steps up when that nerd can't take care of it, i'm bakugo kacchan, i actually want to spend my life at his side as heroes and i'll dedicate 8 years to making sure that happens". he's gonna be all determined and straightforward and *extending his hand* "come, deku! (let's chase each other for the rest of our lives!) (i'll keep your dream alive!)"

like. we had no fucking idea man añkdsjalkjlñksjalkjahlsdk

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Shifting $677m from the banks to the people, every year, forever

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

"Switching costs" are one of the great underappreciated evils in our world: the more it costs you to change from one product or service to another, the worse the vendor, provider, or service you're using today can treat you without risking your business.

Businesses set out to keep switching costs as high as possible. Literally. Mark Zuckerberg's capos send him memos chortling about how Facebook's new photos feature will punish anyone who leaves for a rival service with the loss of all their family photos – meaning Zuck can torment those users for profit and they'll still stick around so long as the abuse is less bad than the loss of all their cherished memories:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

It's often hard to quantify switching costs. We can tell when they're high, say, if your landlord ties your internet service to your lease (splitting the profits with a shitty ISP that overcharges and underdelivers), the switching cost of getting a new internet provider is the cost of moving house. We can tell when they're low, too: you can switch from one podcatcher program to another just by exporting your list of subscriptions from the old one and importing it into the new one:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise

But sometimes, economists can get a rough idea of the dollar value of high switching costs. For example, a group of economists working for the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau calculated that the hassle of changing banks is costing Americans at least $677m per year (see page 526):

https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_personal-financial-data-rights-final-rule_2024-10.pdf

The CFPB economists used a very conservative methodology, so the number is likely higher, but let's stick with that figure for now. The switching costs of changing banks – determining which bank has the best deal for you, then transfering over your account histories, cards, payees, and automated bill payments – are costing everyday Americans more than half a billion dollars, every year.

Now, the CFPB wasn't gathering this data just to make you mad. They wanted to do something about all this money – to find a way to lower switching costs, and, in so doing, transfer all that money from bank shareholders and executives to the American public.

And that's just what they did. A newly finalized Personal Financial Data Rights rule will allow you to authorize third parties – other banks, comparison shopping sites, brokers, anyone who offers you a better deal, or help you find one – to request your account data from your bank. Your bank will be required to provide that data.

I loved this rule when they first proposed it:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/10/getting-things-done/#deliverism

And I like the final rule even better. They've really nailed this one, even down to the fine-grained details where interop wonks like me get very deep into the weeds. For example, a thorny problem with interop rules like this one is "who gets to decide how the interoperability works?" Where will the data-formats come from? How will we know they're fit for purpose?

This is a super-hard problem. If we put the monopolies whose power we're trying to undermine in charge of this, they can easily cheat by delivering data in uselessly obfuscated formats. For example, when I used California's privacy law to force Mailchimp to provide list of all the mailing lists I've been signed up for without my permission, they sent me thousands of folders containing more than 5,900 spreadsheets listing their internal serial numbers for the lists I'm on, with no way to find out what these lists are called or how to get off of them:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service

So if we're not going to let the companies decide on data formats, who should be in charge of this? One possibility is to require the use of a standard, but again, which standard? We can ask a standards body to make a new standard, which they're often very good at, but not when the stakes are high like this. Standards bodies are very weak institutions that large companies are very good at capturing:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/30/weak-institutions/

Here's how the CFPB solved this: they listed out the characteristics of a good standards body, listed out the data types that the standard would have to encompass, and then told banks that so long as they used a standard from a good standards body that covered all the data-types, they'd be in the clear.

Once the rule is in effect, you'll be able to go to a comparison shopping site and authorize it to go to your bank for your transaction history, and then tell you which bank – out of all the banks in America – will pay you the most for your deposits and charge you the least for your debts. Then, after you open a new account, you can authorize the new bank to go back to your old bank and get all your data: payees, scheduled payments, payment history, all of it. Switching banks will be as easy as switching mobile phone carriers – just a few clicks and a few minutes' work to get your old number working on a phone with a new provider.

This will save Americans at least $677 million, every year. Which is to say, it will cost the banks at least $670 million every year.

Naturally, America's largest banks are suing to block the rule:

https://www.americanbanker.com/news/cfpbs-open-banking-rule-faces-suit-from-bank-policy-institute

Of course, the banks claim that they're only suing to protect you, and the $677m annual transfer from their investors to the public has nothing to do with it. The banks claim to be worried about bank-fraud, which is a real thing that we should be worried about. They say that an interoperability rule could make it easier for scammers to get at your data and even transfer your account to a sleazy fly-by-night operation without your consent. This is also true!

It is obviously true that a bad interop rule would be bad. But it doesn't follow that every interop rule is bad, or that it's impossible to make a good one. The CFPB has made a very good one.

For starters, you can't just authorize anyone to get your data. Eligible third parties have to meet stringent criteria and vetting. These third parties are only allowed to ask for the narrowest slice of your data needed to perform the task you've set for them. They aren't allowed to use that data for anything else, and as soon as they've finished, they must delete your data. You can also revoke their access to your data at any time, for any reason, with one click – none of this "call a customer service rep and wait on hold" nonsense.

What's more, if your bank has any doubts about a request for your data, they are empowered to (temporarily) refuse to provide it, until they confirm with you that everything is on the up-and-up.

I wrote about the lawsuit this week for @eff@mastodon.social's Deeplinks blog:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/10/no-matter-what-bank-says-its-your-money-your-data-and-your-choice

In that article, I point out the tedious, obvious ruses of securitywashing and privacywashing, where a company insists that its most abusive, exploitative, invasive conduct can't be challenged because that would expose their customers to security and privacy risks. This is such bullshit.

It's bullshit when printer companies say they can't let you use third party ink – for your own good:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/

It's bullshit when car companies say they can't let you use third party mechanics – for your own good:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

It's bullshit when Apple says they can't let you use third party app stores – for your own good:

https://www.eff.org/document/letter-bruce-schneier-senate-judiciary-regarding-app-store-security

It's bullshit when Facebook says you can't independently monitor the paid disinformation in your feed – for your own good:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#quis-custodiet-ipsos-zuck

And it's bullshit when the banks say you can't change to a bank that charges you less, and pays you more – for your own good.

CFPB boss Rohit Chopra is part of a cohort of Biden enforcers who've hit upon a devastatingly effective tactic for fighting corporate power: they read the law and found out what they're allowed to do, and then did it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis

The CFPB was created in 2010 with the passage of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which specifically empowers the CFPB to make this kind of data-sharing rule. Back when the CFPA was in Congress, the banks howled about this rule, whining that they were being forced to share their data with their competitors.

But your account data isn't your bank's data. It's your data. And the CFPB is gonna let you have it, and they're gonna save you and your fellow Americans at least $677m/year – forever.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/01/bankshot/#personal-financial-data-rights

[dontmean2bepoliticalbut]

On 7/31/2019 Trump has a private meeting with Putin. On 8/3/2019, just 3 days after his private meeting with Putin, Trump issues a request for a list of top US spies. By 2021 the CIA reports an unusually high number of their agents are being captured and/or being murdered. During the search executed at Mar A Lago the FBI find more documents with lists of U.S. informants on them.

A Timeline

• FBI wiretapped Russian gambling ring headquartered at Trump Tower for two years - March 21, 2017

• Trump revealed highly classified information to Russian foreign minister and ambassador - May 15, 2017

• Trump, Putin Meet For 2 Hours In Helsinki - July 16, 2018

• Rand Paul Goes To Russia And Delivers Letter For Trump, Marking Our Era Of Irony - August 9, 2018

• Following the Money: Trump and Russia-Linked Transactions From the Campaign to the Presidential Inauguration - December 17, 2018

• The US extracted a top spy from Russia after Trump revealed classified information to the Russians in an Oval Office meeting - September 10, 2019

• Trump’s Loose Lips Force US to Extract Spy From Kremlin - September 10, 2019

• Was Mar-a-Lago Trespasser a Tourist or a Spy? A Judge Said Her Story Didn’t Hold Up. - November 25, 2019

• Trump downplays massive cyber hack on government after Pompeo links attack to Russia - December 19, 2020

• Russia has been cultivating Trump as an asset for 40 years, former KGB spy says - January 29, 2021

• There was Trump-Russia collusion — and Trump pardoned the colluder - April 17, 2021

• Longtime GOP operatives charged with funneling Russian national’s money to Trump, RNC - September 20, 2021

• Captured, Killed or Compromised: C.I.A. Admits to Losing Dozens of Informants - October 5, 2021

• Files Seized From Trump Are Part of Espionage Act Inquiry - August 12, 2022

• Ex-Clinton aide implies 'President of France' file found at Trump's home during Mar-a-Lago raid could be valuable to Putin as 'kompromat' - August 13, 2022

• Inventing Anna: The tale of a fake heiress, Mar-a-Lago, and an FBI investigation - August 22, 2022

• Russians used a US firm to funnel funds to GOP in 2018. Dems say the FEC let them get away with it - October 30, 2022

• Trump makes shocking comments about trusting Putin over US 'intelligence lowlifes' - January 31, 2023

• Russia's Prigozhin admits links to what US says was election meddling troll farm - February 14, 2023

• GOP operative sentenced to 18 months for funneling Russian money to Trump- February 17, 2023

• Trump allegedly discussed US nuclear subs with foreign national after leaving White House: Sources - October 5, 2023

• 'So appalled': What witnesses told special counsel about Trump's handling of classified info while still president - April 24, 2024

🤔🤔🤔

[thhestia]

hello

this post will be way different than my usual content but i feel obliged to raise my voice in this matter.

This might be triggering for some people and i'm sorry in advance but please read the whole thing and help me raise my voice and the women of my country's to make this matter known so that the government would start taking us seriously and start taking measures for women's safety.

I live in Turkey and i love my country but i cannot deny the fact that as each day passes i become more scared for my life, just like the rest of the women in my country. I'm writing these as the women are protesting yesterday's murders right now.

Yesterday, 2 women were brutally murdered by the same man at Edirnekapı, Istanbul. The murderer first killed Ayşenur (19) in his home and called the cops to report the murder then, he went to kill İkbal (19). Semih Çelik murdered those two 19 YEAR OLD girls, İkbal Uzuner and Ayşenur Halil. He slit Ayşenur's throat and dismembered İkbal Uzuner on top of the city walls and he THREW İKBAL'S HEAD IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER. He then committed suicide by jumping from the very same place he dismembered İkbal. And he did all this IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

He had been stalking İkbal for over a year, his own father had reported him several times, a disturbing drawing made by him and a video of him filmed last year talking about how he wanted to kill İkbal (quoting the exact words from the video: "...The day you saw me, I had come to kill you. I wanted to take a life with me when I left this life, and it was more valuable for me if that person was you. To cut out your heart, your eyes…") were uncovered recently but NO MEASURES WERE TAKEN. That psychopath took two innocent lives and the only thing that the government did was to impose a broadcast ban.

So as a woman who is afraid, i am asking you to spread this and to make this known. We, turkish women, hope that making this matter known globally will help us.

Why do we need help to raise our voices?

>In 2021, Turkey became the first and only country to withdraw from the Istanbul Convention, a human rights treaty of the Council of Europe opposing violence against women.

>Women's complaints are not taken seriously, and offenders are repeatedly let go without any consequences. Our prisons are filled to the brim with journalists and political prisoners, however repeat sexual offenders, abusers, p3d0philes and murderers are released.

So this means, even if that murderer did not commit suicide he might've not been punished properly for his crimes.

Please help me make this matter known.

The images below are the details.

.

[reasonsforhope]

hey, how do you cope with people saying we only have a small amount of time left to stop the worst effects of climate change? no matter how hopeful and ok i am, that always sends me back into a spiral :(

A few different ways

1. The biggest one is that I do math. Because renewable energy is growing exponentially

Up until basically 2021 to now, all of the climate change models were based on the idea that our ability to handle climate change will grow linearly. But that's wrong: it's growing exponentially, most of all in the green energy sector. And we're finally starting to see proof of this - and that it's going to keep going.

And many types of climate change mitigation serve as multipliers for other types. Like building a big combo in a video game.

Change has been rapidly accelerating and I genuinely believe that it's going to happen much faster than anyone is currently predicting

2. A lot of the most exciting and groundbreaking things happening around climate change are happening in developing nations, so they're not on most people's radars.

But they will expand, as developing nations are widely undergoing a massive boom in infrastructure, development, and quality of life - and as they collaborate and communicate with each other in doing so

3. Every country, state, city, province, town, nonprofit, community, and movement is basically its own test case

We're going to figure out the best ways to handle things in a remarkably quick amount of time, because everyone is trying out solutions at once. Instead of doing 100 different studies on solutions in order, we get try out 100 (more like 10,000) different versions of different solutions simultaneously, and then figure out which ones worked best and why. The spread of solutions becomes infinitely faster, especially as more and more of the world gets access to the internet and other key infrastructure

4. There's a very real chance that many of the impacts of climate change will be reversible

Yeah, you read that right.

Will it take a while? Yes. But we're mostly talking a few decades to a few centuries, which is NOTHING in geological history terms.

We have more proof than ever of just how resilient nature is. Major rivers are being restored from dried up or dead to thriving ecosystems in under a decade. Life bounces back so fast when we let it.

I know there's a lot of skepticism about carbon capture and carbon removal. That's reasonable, some of those projects are definitely bs (mostly the ones run by gas companies, involving carbon credits, and/or trying to pump CO2 thousands of feet underground)

But there's very real potential for carbon removal through restoring ecosystems and regenerative agriculture

The research into carbon removal has also just exploded in the past three years, so there are almost certainly more and better technologies to come

There's also some promising developments in industrial carbon removal, especially this process of harvesting atmospheric CO2 and other air pollution to make baking soda and other industrially useful chemicals

As we take carbon out of the air in larger amounts, less heat will be trapped in the atmosphere

If less heat is trapped in the atmosphere, then the planet will start to cool down

If the planet starts to cool down, a lot of things will stabilize again. And they'll probably start to stabilize pretty quickly

[satxnsupreme666]

Blooming flowers: Agatha Harkness x Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Masterlist

Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: You own the flower shop in Westview, you’re a good friend of Wanda and Agatha, who would have said you were going to fall for them.

Flowers and their meanings are beautiful, even if they are growing inside your lungs.

Warnings: Angst but with happy ending, mentions of blood and coughing also: Hanahaki disease is a fictional disease in which someone who experiences one-sided love coughs up flower petals, and it only ends when the love is returned or the victim dies

Word count: 12.8k 

Author´s notes: Hello, sorry for being a little bit inactive, and for the requests I have already been sent, have in mind I will be writing them and posting them, just give me please a little bit of time, also this was a requested story three years ago, so, this was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.

Also I am almost done uploading all of my old stories of 2021

I hope all of you enjoy this!🥺💕💕

Taglist: @italianaidiota (Hey I am trying to tag you but I do not know why it does no let me) @midnight-lestrange @eliscannotdance

 To love one person was something you knew people were used to do, but to love two at the same time?

You did not mean for that to happen.

You didn’t even know how it had happened in the first place, it just happened, so fast, you had fallen for them without realizing it.

You had fallen so quickly and so hard, how hadn’t you realized it before?

At first you had thought it had been just pure admiration for both women, they were so beautiful, so amazing and brilliant, they were fascinating.

To love two people was something you didn’t believe you were going to do, but how could you stop it?

You had just realized it three days ago when a single purple petal had come out of your mouth, you recognized the petal, it was a purple crocus petal, the flower was the symbol of royalty and nobility, it also represented, success, pride and dignity, you related that flower to Agatha, she was so beautiful and had all these traits in her, if a flower could define her, it was this beautiful one.

“Good morning doll” You didn’t hear the ring of your doorbell sounding, you were too distracted thinking about the owner of the voice that had just entered to your flower shop.

“Good morning Agatha” You said to her and unconsciously you smiled, her voice made you heart flutter.

Turning yourself around to see her walking to the counter in which you were behind, she smiled at you and you felt your face getting warmer.

“What can I do for you?” You asked her while placing one of your elbows on the counter, letting your chin rest in your hand.

“Oh, darling you can do a lot for me” She touched your forehead with her finger and you were sure you had a loving expression on your face, you loved all the gestures Agatha had towards you.

“I was wondering if you could make an arrangement of flowers” She inquired looking inside her purse

“Of course, what’s the special occasion?” You asked smiling while taking a piece of paper and a pen ready to write down.

“It’s for Wanda, today’s our anniversary sweetheart” You could hear Agatha’s excitement in her voice, they really loved each other so much, it was beautiful and painful at the same time for you.

“That sounds amazing, congratulations” You were really happy for them, you’ve never seen two people loving each other as much as they did it.

You wrote down in the piece of paper the word anniversary along with the names of different flowers you thought could be the best for the occasion.

“Thanks doll” You didn’t see the expression on Agatha’s face.

“So, which flowers would you like to include in the arrangement?” You asked before lifting your head to look at her.

“I was thinking about some roses” You saw Agatha bringing her hand to her face while she thought, you loved that she always did that whenever she was deep in thought, red roses were beautiful they reminded you of Wanda and her beautiful red hair, for you red roses represented Wanda perfectly, she was such a passionate woman whom you really admired.

“That’s a great election, red roses mean enduring passion, romance and true love”

“I didn’t know that doll, what other flowers do you think would be best to include?” Agatha leant onto the counter placing her hands on it, you thought about it for some seconds after talking again.

“I would recommend you also dahlias, red tulips and carnations” You went to the other counter that had some bouquets with different flowers and you took one of the three flowers you had told her, walking back to where she was you showed them to her.

“In general dahlias can demonstrate the lasting bond and commitment between two people, also they are great for anniversaries, you can choose from red, white, purple and pink dahlias, the meaning can change a little depending on the color, my favorite one is the pink because you can show your love to someone and how that person is irreplaceable in your heart, but never give black dahlias to someone, even though they are beautiful they commonly symbolize betrayal” You said to her in a soft tone, you handed her a single pink dahlia and she took it with a big smile on her face.

“Red tulips are a great choice to express that you love someone deeply, they symbolize passion, romance, eternal love, perfect love and true love, so red tulips are an amazing choice to give to your true love” You gave her the red tulip you were holding in your hand and she gladly took it.

“Now, last but not least, carnations, they mean love and fascination but depending on the color the meaning can change a little, for example, the light red ones mean admiration, the dark red ones mean deep love and affection, white stand for pure love and good luck and pinks usually mean a mother’s undying love, I find carnations to have the purest meanings, here take this one” You offered her a single white carnation.

“All of this is beautiful, thank you for sharing this with me” She told you while carefully caressing the petals of the red rose.

“Any time, so would you like a bouquet of all of these flowers or you want me to tell you about more flowers and their meaning?” You tilted your head a little to look at her

“I think these three types of flowers would do; their meaning is so beautiful”

“Alright so, what color do you want the dahlias and the carnations to be?” You asked her while taking again the pen to start writing down the colors

“I want the carnations to be dark red and the dahlias to be pink” She said in a whisper and you wrote it down the colors in the piece of paper, of course she was going to choose these colors for her girlfriend.

“Alright, is it alright for you to come back in two hours?  Or do you need them before?” You asked her while admiring her messy bun, some strands of her hair were falling from her face and down to her shoulders, she was so beautiful it hurt you.

Before she answered you, you started to feel something bothering in your throat and you knew what it was so you tried to clear your throat a little.

“Can you excuse me for a minute, I have to go check if I have baby’s breath for more decorations in the storage room” You said in a rush, Agatha blinked in confusion, she had seen the way you slightly touched your chest, she heard you coughed a little before you disappeared in one of the rooms in the back.

 When you were finally alone in the bathroom in front of the sink, you started to cough a little more, you tried not to make a lot of noise because you really didn’t want her to know there was something wrong with you.

You couldn’t let anyone know this, you had only heard about this in the news and how it was a really rare disease that only affected to a small percentage of the population, you didn’t want to think a lot about it, you already knew all the effects, the symptoms and how the disease developed, but you really didn’t want to think about it.

Pressing your hand over your opened lips, your throat finally felt free and you didn’t have the bothering feeling of something in it.

Taking the petal that had come out of your mouth with your fingers, you stared at the single red petal, this time it was a red rose petal and you sadly smiled at the sight, red roses were beautiful they reminded you not just of Wanda, but also the love Agatha and Wanda shared, you could see how much they loved each other, Agatha, Wanda and their kids were a really beautiful family and even if you wished you were a part of that, you felt so bad for wanting to be part of them, you knew you couldn’t and you could never be part of their amazing family, but it was so beautiful to think and dream about it.

You slowly threw the petal into the trash bin before washing your hands in the sink, after that you washed your face as well and passed the Cotton towel over your face to get yourself dry, when you looked at yourself in the small mirror in front of you a sad smiled appeared on your face, you didn’t know how many time you had left, but you were going to really enjoy it.

You had heard many times phrases like “Love can hurt” or “Love can be painful” but you had never stopped yourself to think a little about them and now you found yourself getting lost at nights thinking about how those phrases had a deeper meaning for you.

You sighed before putting on a smile again and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door you walked back to where Agatha was standing in front of the counter.

“It looks like I still have fresh baby’s breath, did you know that baby’s breath mean everlasting love and purity? That’s why I was thinking about adding them into your floral arrangement, also they make a really good decoration” You said with a smile when you were in front of her again.

“That sounds amazing sweetheart, you’re so sweet” You felt Agatha’s hand caressing your hair and her gesture made your heart flutter in excitement, how much you wished that touch was meant to be in a romantic way, but you knew she just did it because she was that way, you knew her good enough to know that she was always like this, your state of pure joy was quickly replaced by a sadness that you knew you had to hide.

“Are you alright? Doll?” The way she called you made you always feel warm, you love all of the endearments she had for you.

“Yes, yes, I’m alright, my throat was feeling a little itchy but I guess it’s just the dust, you don´t have to worry” You tried to shrugged it off, Agatha wasn’t convinced and you saw it on her face.

“So, at what time do you want me to have them? I was telling you that you can come back in two hours but if you need them before I can be faster” You said looking at her with a smile on your face, you really hope she dropped the other topic.

“It´s alright darling I can come in two hours, I don´t want you to rush things” A sad smile appeared on your face at her phrase about not rushing things, you really hoped this illness didn’t rush inside you.

“Alright then, your flowers will be ready in two hours, do you want me to write something in the card?” You asked her while taking a tiny card out of the stack you had in your files, it was simple and elegant, you really loved writing things down in cursive letters, it was so fancy, you have seen and written down many small love letters, some times it was a poem, some other times people just asked you to write some words down, but in the end you knew it was worth it, you loved to think that these tiny details make people feel loved.

You knew some people preferred to show their love and affection giving gifts and one of the best things was to receive flowers, each one of the many different and beautiful flowers had its own meaning and for you that was beautiful.

“What about

-Each flower means exactly what I feel

Even after they wither and their petals fall

My love won´t be something I have to conceal

And my love will stay with you after all.

Even when I fade away

My feelings will be here with you

Our souls will meet in a getaway

And we won´t feel blue again-“

You finished your little poem writing the last words in the tiny card, leaving the black fountain pen on the counter, you took the card in your hand and handed it to Agatha so she could see it.

You saw the way she carefully took it into her hands and you saw the way her lips formed a smile.

“This is beautiful, I didn’t know you wrote poems” She said to you in a whisper and you felt your face getting warmer again

“It´s nothing, it´s something I really like to do sometimes, so, do I attach the card to the flowers?” You asked while trying to hide your face behind a bunch of flowers you had taken in your hands to put them in a new vase.

“Of course, you´re really sweet darling, everything you do is beautiful” You gave her a small smile

“Thank you, Agatha” You said while biting your lower lip a little and she smiled, she thought you were a really sweet person

“I will come here again in two hours, I still have to run some errands, I know it will be beautiful” Agatha waved her hand at you before walking towards the exit of your flower shop, closing the door behind her when she walked out you sighed.

You´ve never loved someone before, not until now and now that you had just got to feel how it felt to be in love, you couldn’t help but think about all the time you had seen two people loving each other and wondering how did it feel to be in love, you had thought that to be in love would feel as you were walking on clouds, you had thought that being in love was like eating cotton candy, feeling the sugar melting in your tongue, tasting the sweet flavor in your mouth, you had thought that being in love with someone was like enjoying a sweet hot chocolate during a cold winter night, you were sure it was like that, but maybe not for you.

You knew some for some people was too easy to find their true love, some people found easy to fall for the right person, but maybe this wasn’t your case, after thinking a lot about it, you had come to the conclusion that maybe you had just come to earth to be a simple bystander admiring how true love was, maybe you weren’t born to be loved, maybe you were doomed only to see how real and true love looked like, and that was why you had fallen in love with two people at the same time.

But why you? Why it had been you the one to get this beautiful but painful and deadly disease?

It was already too painful to be in love and being aware that this love will never be reciprocated, but to have a constant reminder of this inside you made it worse, life was already painful but at the same time beautiful, and what was growing inside your lungs reminded you of the beauty and the pain that came with being in love.

How ironic, flowers always made you feel alive you loved them and now flowers were going to be the ones to take it away from you, at least you were going to feel some kind of love until your last days.

Trying to shrug the thoughts off you went to take the flowers you would be needing to make the floral arrangement for Wanda and Agatha´s anniversary.

You started by accommodating and placing red roses first inside the pretty white bouquet you had chosen, you thought about how many roses you should add, 9 roses to show eternal love, 10 to tell someone they’re perfect or 13 roses? They would never know the meaning of the numbers of the roses, if you put 13 roses you knew the meaning behind the number, it usually symbolizes friendship or a secret admirer.

After some minutes you decided to add just 13  red roses, you were aware that the meaning of this number and you didn’t mean them to symbolize friendship, you knew they didn’t know a lot about flowers, so they would never know; you were careful enough not to hurt yourself with the thorns and when all of them were placed inside the bouquet you took the tulips to start arranging them between the roses.

The next flowers you decided to put were the pink dahlias, you really loved this flower, it was so beautiful, the smooth leaves that belonged to it, the numerous and delicate petals encircling the tiny core of the flower, for you this flower had the purest meaning of all the flowers, to Victorians represented commitment to another person and eternal love for someone, if someone gave this flower to their partner they were showing the deep love they felt for the other person as well as showing appreciation.

Agatha and Wanda were really lucky to have each other, you could see the delicate but strong bond the two of them shared, they complemented each other so well, while Wanda tended to be guided by her heart, her emotions and sometimes her impulsivity, Agatha tended to use her mind, her cleverness, and she always thought on the consequences before doing something, you could see Agatha was the one who carefully analyzed everything, she wanted to know what other different options she could get, meanwhile Wanda rushed things a little.

If Wanda got angry you knew how she could react, she was always ready to fight back whoever who messed with her family, you really loved her passion about things, for you this wasn’t a flaw in Wanda, for you this was strength, she was so passionate about what she believed and what she wanted,  Wanda just wanted to protect her family and her beliefs and for you that was awesome.

When Wanda got angry at someone or if Agatha just realized her girlfriend was having an argument with someone, she would always step in to try to calm Wanda and you were amazed how Agatha was the only one who could calm down her girlfriend, you knew the older woman just wanted to make sure that her girlfriend was alright and after calming her Agatha always made sure to say something to whoever who was arguing with Wanda, you´ve never got to know what is it that she says to them, because they always back off with a horrified expression on their faces.

You really loved how Agatha was aware and seem to be conscious on how people would react and she always knew what to say to everyone, how couldn’t you love them?

They were so amazing, you just wanted to feel a little of what it was to be loved, but knowing what was inside you, made your heart ache, it was painful to know that you could just admire them from afar, nothing else, the only thing you could do now was to try to be as supportive as you could and be grateful that you got to be here to admire what true love felt like.

You finished placing the pink dahlias around the roses and you loved the combinations, it was the perfect representation of passion, love, tenderness and softness, the two of them shared such an amazing love, you could only wish, but that was alright, life could be painful but it could be beautiful at the same time, just like roses.

Roses were amazing and beautiful flowers, their petals were something people loved, it is the most common flower that represented love, but people didn’t like the thorns.

That´s life you thought, even with thorns that can hurt you and tear you apart, there was beauty in it, you never understood why people took away the thorns from their stem and they threw them into the trash bin, you didn’t understand it because for you the thorns of the roses, symbolized that even in beauty could exist pain and for you that was beautiful, it was just like life, even with the awful and hurtful things that happened each day, there was beauty in it, you were grateful for  seeing what love was like, you were grateful for being able to smell the sweet scent of the flowers, the scent of the wet soil, you were grateful for being able to see the colors of the sky.

Sighing you went to take the dark red carnations to start separating and choosing the best ones to put the flower arrangement, lately you couldn’t help but think on all the things you would miss.

Watching the dark color of the carnations’ petals you found yourself smiling, maybe what you were going to miss the most was the soft feeling of the petals against the skin of your hands and your fingers.

With a sad smile you kept doing what you were supposed to do, placing the last a carnation inside the bouquet you passed your finger over it, admiring the beautiful petals, taking the red tulips to start making the same process of choosing the best ones to put them into the arrangement you smiled, it was so bright and with different shades of red, the pink dahlias looked so pretty between the darker colors, finally you took some red tulips, to represent their true love, they were so lucky to have each other.

Finally, you took some baby´s breath to finish the floral gift, you loved the meaning of these tiny flowers, everlasting love; it was a really beautiful concept when you think about it, to have someone whose love would always persevere sounded so delightful.

You felt you throat getting itchy again and you tried to cough some times to see if something came out, but nothing came out of your mouth, trying to clear your throat it didn’t work at all, you still felt the sensation of having something in your throat so you went to take some water.

You took a glass and filled it with water and when you felt the cool water running down your throat, the tingling sensation went away; you frowned a little because you knew these were just the first symptoms, if this was already making you feel a little uncomfortable you couldn’t think on how it would feel when the final stages came.

You tried to brushed the thought aside an grabbed a small lace to attach the tiny card onto the arrangement, when you were done you stare at the flowers for some time, thinking about how much you were going to miss this.

You were lost in thoughts that you didn’t notice two hours had already passed until you heard the same voice you loved so much.

“Doll you seem deep in thought again” You heard her voice on the other side of the counter and it made you smile; you could never get tired of her.

She was smiling at you, you were sure her smile could light up an entire town, she was so charming, you were so in love with her, were you too obvious? No, you were sure you weren’t obvious, you knew how to keep your feelings to you, or at least you hope you knew how to hide your emotions and the love you felt for her and for Wanda.

“Oh no Agatha I was just admiring the flowers, they´re so beautiful, I think flowers can really talk for themselves, and they can also help us to express what we feel” Your eyes wandered to the different flowers In front of you and your hand caressed the petals of some yellow carnation you had in front of you.

You didn’t get to see the look in Agatha´s eyes, she always thought you were an interesting girl, you were always trying to help Wanda and her, when you babysat the twins, she always loved the way when the two of them came to their house, they would always have an amazing view of you playing a boardgame with them or playing hide & seek.

She walked closer to the counter and she pressed one of her elbows on the counter letting her chin rest in her hand, Agatha found herself amazed by the passion you seemed to have about flowers, you knew a lot about flowers and their meanings, you were so smart, you could arrange beautiful flowers in order to make something marvelous, she always loved all the effort you put in your work, she loved it.

“Oh yes, sorry, you´re arrangement is right here” She was distracted from her thoughts when she heard your voice, you pointed to the beautiful floral arrangement that was on top of the other counter.

“y/n, this is wonderful” Her comment made you smile and the way her face had lit up made you feel delighted.

“Wanda´s going to love it” That made you feel happier, you had made it for the two of them and you really hoped they both liked what you had done for them.

“I really hope so” You said while taking a piece of paper and you tried to hide your smiled behind it, Agatha always found all of your gestures adorable.

“Oh sweetheart I swear, she is going to love it” You saw the way Agatha admired the flowers and you saw her eyes shining, she really knew how to appreciate flowers and you loved it, you were sure she understood how flowers were so delicate but held a lot of power at the same time.

“How much is going to be sweetheart?” You heard her asking you and you bit your lip, you had thought about gifting her the arrangement, would it be too much? Would she think it was inappropriate? You didn’t know, but at the same time, you didn’t know how much time you had left so in the end you thought, why not risking a little?

“It´s nothing Agatha, this is my gift for the two of you” You said to her with a shy smile on your face, you couldn’t see her directly at her face so instead of looking her in the eyes you grabbed your pen and started to write down on it the things that you were almost run out of.

“Sweetheart, no, I have to pay you for this-”

“It’s alright Agatha, really, I want to give this to the two of you” You interrupted her with a soft tone but you didn’t dare to look at her

“Seriously, you don’t have to worry, I want to give this to the two of you, I want this to be my gift for your anniversary, I want to do this, can you let me do it, please?” You softly explained to her and slowly lifted your face a little to look at her.

You saw how her confused expression changed into a happy one, the way her eyes squinted when she smiled made you even fall for her more, you were already head over heels for her so you decided to look away to start writing on the same paper again.

Agatha walked towards you and she placed herself in front of you, her hand went to softly grabbed your hand that was holding the pen and she slowly made you stop writing, her soft hand was on yours and you loved the way she was caressing the back of your hand with her thumb, you felt your heart melting at her touch, how much you wished your heart didn’t confuse things, you knew she was always like that, all the time and you really thought this wasn’t alright, it would only be more painful for you.

But did you really wanted her to stop? Of course not, you wanted to keep feeling her hand against yours, you wanted her to hold your hand and that she would hug you, but you were aware that wouldn’t happen.

“Thank you so much doll, you’re incredible, thank you so much for this, I love it and I’m sure Wanda will love it too, you’re so sweet” You knew she was smiling and you wanted to see her smile, so you raised your hand and saw her face, she was so beautiful.

When she took her hand off yours you instantly missed her touch, but what surprised you was that she brought her hand to touch your face to caress your cheek in a soft way, unconsciously you leant into her touch and you closed your eyes, you were really going to miss her a lot.

“It’s alright, I really hope that you and Wanda enjoy your anniversary” You replied with a smile on your face.

Agatha took her hand off your face and you could see the happy expression she had on her face.

“I’m so happy that you’re here, you make Wanda and I really happy, thank you again for these beautiful flowers, I will think to do something to repay you darling”.

“It´s alright Agatha, really, you don’t have to, I wanted to do this for you, the two of you are amazing, you´re really good friends and I really love the two of you” The seven last words meant something deeper for you, but that was alright, it was alright, this was because of you, this wasn’t their fault, it was yours for accidentally falling for them and you knew it was alright, you can´t rush love nor make it an obligation, you were more than fine with being their friend, and that was what made you feel better, the reassuring feeling that at least you were close to them.

“We really appreciate you as well y/n, you´re always supporting and helping us, we´re happy” You became curious because she stopped talking and she looked down at the counter.

“We´re happy that you´re our friend too” You smiled at her comment and you nodded, you were happy to be their friend no matter what.

“I have to go and hide this, but we can keep talking later” You nodded and you stood straight nodding, Agatha took the floral arrangement and she stopped to look back at you.

“You´re an angel y/n” You were surprised at how easily Agatha could make your heart leap, you didn’t know what to say and unconsciously you bit your lower lip.

“I´ve got to go but this is very important to me, thank you” She said to you while pointing to the floral arrangement you´ve done for them.

Agatha started to walk towards the opened door and when she arrived at the door, she turned herself around one more time to look at you again and she winked at you, you felt heat in your face and you felt as if you wanted to hide.

You saw through the windows when she left in Wanda´s black car, watching the clock you realized it was already time to close your flower shop, it was time to go home.

Was it home though? Of course, it was, it had to be. You were happy this way.

Maybe if you repeat it many times in your head, you will start to believe it until it didn’t hurt anymore.

Stop, you said to yourself, there was no time for sad or self-pity thoughts, you had to keep going, you couldn’t let yourself fall into this increasing sadness, there was still a lot for what you could at least try; you couldn’t let what was growing inside you take away the last feeling of happiness, you needed to try to enjoy life, you weren’t going to waste this time letting the sadness consume you.

You remembered the first time Wand talked to you, she had entered to your flower shop, looking for some flowers to give to Agatha, you still remembered the way she was so excited to give something to the older woman.

“y/n you have to help me” She had said to you pressing her hand on your counter, her eyes were wide opened and fixed on you while her mouth was slightly opened, the view had made you chuckled because she was clearly in a hurry.

“Sure, what do you need from me?” You inquired and she ran her hand through her hair.

“I need to give something to Agatha, we had a little argument and she´s angry at me now, she´s not talking to me at all” You could almost even sense her mood, she bowed her head a little and she seemed to think about what had happened.

“Why is she angry at you?” You asked while tilting your head a little, Wanda raised her head and she sighed.

“It´s really not a big deal, I just, I forgot her birthday” She quickly said, and you chuckled.

“Oh Wanda, how could you have forgotten?” You asked her with a light tone.

“I swear I thought it was tomorrow, I thought today was Friday, I didn’t realize that it was already Sunday, it was a mistake” You saw the way Wanda was pouting and you found it adorable.

“Lucky for you today I have purple hyacinths they are perfect to give in a moment like this”.

You showed her the flowers before talking again.

“These flowers are an emblem of forgiveness and when you give this to someone, it means I´m sorry, please forgive me, you can give her a bouquet of these to show her you´re sorry, I´m sure she will love it”

“They are even purple, you´re a lifesaver y/n these are perfect” You laughed at her comment.

“Do you want to write something in this card? Also, we could put some baby´s breath if you like, baby´s breath mean everlasting love” You suggested and took one of the cards in which you usually wrote down small notes to go with the flowers, you handed the blank card and she carefully took it

“You can write down what you just told me about you mistaking the days and write down something lovely to go with it” You said while handing her a pen so she could write it down, you would have offered yourself to write it down with cursive letters, but you were sure Agatha would appreciate more that Wanda wrote it.

You saw Wanda thinking for some seconds what to write and then she stated to place words into the blank space, you couldn’t help but smile at her.

When she finished writing, she left the pen on the counter and looked at you with a smile on her face.

“What color do you want the lace to be? I recommend you to be white, so it looks good with the purple flowers, or do you want it to be a different color?” You inquired.

“White is good, thank you” You nodded and took a white lace to go with the arrangement.

You blinked when you heard the sound of your alarm in your phone, looking at the screen you noticed you had passed almost an hour lost in your thoughts, it was already 4:00 pm and still you hadn’t closed the shop.

Sighing you walked to the storage room to close it, you had already cleaned everything earlier so now you just needed to close the doors and head to your home.

Taking your keys and saving your phone on your pocket you got distracted by a small bouquet of white lilies, you remembered arranging this bouquet yesterday in the evening when you were about to closed, the flowers were beautiful but it made you sad their meaning, usually people would only give white lilies in funerals and that was because they symbolized peace and tranquility, it was meant to be given to the people who had lost a loved one.

You decided you would take it home with you, flowers always calmed you and even though it was another reminder of how your life was going to, at least it was recomforting to know that you could relate to a flower somehow, this flower meant to you a lot due to the circumstances you were passing through.

Taking the small bouquet in your hands you decided to finally leave and closed the shop, turning the lights off you locked the doors and looked at the empty street.

You were sure most people were in their houses enjoying the day, maybe with family or their loved ones.

What could you do when you arrived at your house? There weren’t many things you could do, you really wanted to do something different to start this new chapter in your life, you wanted to enjoy things as much as you could but at the same time you just wanted to lay in bed.

After minutes of walking you finally arrived at your neighborhood, the feeling of loneliness wasn’t helping your mood.

“Y/n!” You recognized that voice, it was Wanda´s voice, her accent was something you could never forget.

Turning yourself around to look at her you noticed she was walking towards you with a smile on her face and it made you smile too, the slight wind on her made her hair wave a little in the air, she was wearing a black hoody and black jeans, she looked so pretty as always, when she was closer to you, you felt your heart pounding faster in your chest and you were afraid she could hear the beating inside your chest.

You saw her playing a little with the sleeves of her hoody when she finally placed herself in front of you”.

“Hi Wanda, congratulations for your anniversary” You said a little shy holding closer to your chest the bouquet of lilies.

“Thank you so much” The two of you stared at each other for a while until she blinked and cleared her throat.

“These flowers are really pretty, are you going to give them to someone?” She questioned and you shook your head quickly.

“Oh no, no, these are white lilies, these are just given in funerals to try to give some kind of comfort to the people who lost someone” Wanda frowned a little, she was clearly confused, you noticed her expression and panicked a little.

“I just wanted to bring this with me because I know if I let them there alone, they will quickly fade away, so I´m going to take care of them” Wanda eyed you with a strange look on her face, you didn’t want her to suspect anything so you tried talking more.

“So, how are you going to celebrate your anniversary?” You asked moving slightly your eyebrows up and down.

Your question made Wanda´s expression changed; she went from confused to happy in seconds.

“Oh y/n I have a surprise for Agatha, she´s thinking we´re just staying home, but no, I made a reservation in the nice restaurant in the center of the town, she´s not waiting what I have planned for her” You could see that she was really excited, the way her eyes sparkled and her mouth curved into a smile, it was always a joy for you to see her.

“That just reminded me, I was looking for you because I wanted to ask you if you could watch the kids for at least two hours? It´s alright if you can´t” Wanda said the last words in a rushed moving her hands in front of her.

You smiled because this meant you weren’t going to pass the evening alone, this was a great opportunity for you to do something else, also being with the kids always made happy they were really funny and never failed to make you laugh.

“I can watch the kids; at what time do you need me to be there?” You asked her with a grin.

“You can come to our house at 6 pm” You nodded at her.

“Alright, I´ll go to your house at that hour” You really didn’t want to stop talking to her, but you had to. Had she already received the flowers? if so, had she liked them? You really wanted to know but if Agatha hadn’t done it yet, you were sure you were going to ruin the surprise, so you decided it was better not to.

“I´ll take a movie or two to watch it with the boys” You smiled at her, you could see she was thinking about something else but you weren’t sure, she looked as if she wanted to say something but she didn’t dare to, it was alright you could wait, you were really patient, and you had a lot of time.

Wanda kept playing with her sleeves, was she nervous? You couldn’t really tell.

“Well, I think I will go now, I have to prepare myself” She said to you after long minutes of just looking at you and then to the ground again.

“Sure, I´ll see you later Wanda” You gave her one last smile and you turned yourself around to walk to your house, your house was just two houses away from hers, so you just had to walked a little bit more.

You didn’t see that the woman just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk looking at you.

If only you had turned your head to look at her, Wanda thought, if only you had done it, sighing she just lowered her head and walked to the other side.

Wanda and Agatha had already discussed this, but she wasn’t even sure of what they had talked, what if it wasn’t true? She didn’t want to ruin anything, it would be another day, there was plenty of time, or at least that´s what she thought.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

Watching the hour in your phone you decided it was time to go to Wanda and Agatha´s house, you always liked to be on time, you took two super-hero movies that you were sure the boys were going to love and walked towards your door, giving a last glance at the bouquet of white lilies you opened the door to walk outside your house.

You rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door, you were sure Billy or Tommy would yell at Wanda or Agatha to come to open the door, because they were not allowed to open it by themselves.

“Mom, there´s someone at the door” You heard Tommy yelling and you chuckled, you knew that was going to happen.

“Is not someone, y/n is the one who´s at the door mom” You could even feel Tommy rolling his eyes, rushed footsteps came to the other side of the door and someone opened it for you.

“Y/n!” The boys came out almost running and they hugged you, you patted slightly their heads, you were happy to see them as well.

“Thank you for coming y/n” You heard Wanda saying in front of you and when you lifted you head to see her, you eyed her all of her outfit and felt your face getting warmer, you had to look away because you felt like you were staring; she was wearing a red suit and she looked so beautiful it almost felt like a crime to look at her, you had to remind yourself that she was just your friend just like Agatha, sometimes you even felt guilty for having feeling for them.

Wanda of course noticed the way you had looked away from her so quickly and instead you looked at the floor, she pressed her lips together and tilted her head to look at you.

“You don’t have to thank me Wanda, I enjoy passing time with the boys, they are so funny, also I brought this for you guys” You showed them the two movies they you had picked up and you heard their gasps.

“Oh my god, we´ve been wanting to watch these for the past week, we didn’t know they were already available” Tommy said to you while taking the movies in his hands and passing one to Tommy so he could see the cover, they were excited and you smiled.

“I supposed you were going to say that I know how much you love the saga” You knelt in front of them and they hugged you again.

Wanda was watching you in awe, she always loved the way you look out for them, she knew her boys were in good hands with you, you were so good with them and she loved the way you interacted with her kids, you were so patient and sweet, her heart melted every time she saw these interactions.

“Can we put the movie on the tv, please mom?”  Tommy asked his mother whine Tommy nodded aggressively.

“Alright boys, you can go to put the movie on” Wanda said to them and they started to run towards the living room.

“I´ll take care of them and I will make them go to bed on time” You said to her while still trying not to look at her.

Wanda was about to say something, but someone knocked on the door and you frowned, who could it be at this time?

You placed yourself behind Wanda and she opened the door revealing Agatha standing there with the arrangement of flowers, you were surprised because you had thought she was already inside, you could see she was wearing a black blazer dress and she looked so beautiful.

“Agatha?” You heard Wanda asking the older woman and Agatha stretched her hands with the arrangement out to Wanda so she could take it.

“Happy anniversary love” Wanda took the arrangement in her hands and she placed a soft peck on Agatha´s lips, their love was so beautiful and once again you found yourself looking away from them, you knew this was too personal for them, you were not part of it and you felt like an intruder, you didn’t want them to bother them so you walked towards the living room, leaving the two of them so they could enjoy their beautiful moment together.

It broke your heart but you had to accept this was not your world, it was theirs and you had to just accept it, this dumb heart of yours, why it couldn’t understand this wasn’t yours, this wasn’t your life and you would never be part of it.

“Hey kids, did you already put the movie on?” You asked the kids when you arrived at the living room, they were already sitting in the couch.

“Yes, yes, come sit with us y/n” They asked you and you put your ginger on your chin feigning to think about it.

“Of course, but don´t you want some popcorn?” You saw the way their faces lit up and they nodded, you laughed at their reaction at the mention of popcorn.

“Well, then I will go to make some” You were just going to the kitchen when you heard your name being called, turning yourself around you saw Agatha and Wanda walking towards the living room, Wanda walked closer to you with the arrangement in her hands.

“Agatha just told me you gifted us this” Shyly you nodded and unconsciously you bit your lip a little, you couldn’t help it, it was something you did when you were nervous.

“Thank you so much, this is amazing” Agatha put herself behind Wanda to look at you.

“It´s nothing I really wanted to give something to you, I knew this was a special occasion so I wanted you to have it” You whispered while you touched your hair with your hand.

“Mum y/n was going to prepare some popcorn, you´re distracting her” Tommy recalled and the three of you laughed.

“That´s true I better get going otherwise the prince here will get desperate” You joked gesturing with your hand as if you were telling a secret.

“I´m don´t want to be a prince, I want to be a hero” Pouted Tommy.

You rolled your eyes playfully at Wanda and Agatha and the redhaired woman chuckled.

“You better go, I don´t think you want to be late for your date” You said to them, you didn’t understand why they hadn’t left yet.

“Yes, you´re right, we have reservations, we will be back in two hours, before the boys bedtime” Wanda said to you and you saw how the boys stood up from the couch to hug Wanda and Agatha, you couldn’t help but feel like if you were an intruder, turning yourself around to look at the flowers in one the vases on one of the shelves, and you sadly smiled, the roses inside the vase were withered, you knew that withered flowers meant rejected love, how ironic, you thought.

“Be good boys” The two kids had returned to the couches and this time you turned yourself around to finally look at them again.

“We´ll coming later y/n” You nodded, and they smiled at you, after that they walked to the door to finally go, when you heard the door closing you sighed.

 “I´ll go to prepare the popcorn, you can start the movie without me kids” They nodded without looking at you.

Entering to the kitchen you went to look inside the cupboards, you saw one container that had written with marker in it “pop corn kernels”, you didn’t know who had made it but it made you laugh a little.

It took only ten minutes for the popcorn kernels to pop, after that you placed them in a bowl to let them cool a little, being here on Wanda and Agatha´s house made you feel like if you were home, you felt safe here but at the same time you knew you didn’t belong here, this was not your place.

Trying not to think about that you took the bowl in your hands and went back to the living room where the boys were almost glued to the tv.

“Here is a bowl full of popcorn” You handed the bowl to them and they thanked you before grabbing it.

You were just about to sit in the couch when you started to feel the itchy sensation in your throat, but this time you felt it more, you started to feel the urge to cough, this time it was more violent, you didn’t just feel your throat itching this time it was really an uncomfortable feeling.

You tried to hide the fact that you were coughing but you knew you couldn’t hide it for a long time.

“I´ll be back in some minutes guys” Standing as quickly as you could from the couch you rushed yourself to arrive at the bathroom, opening the door of it you quickly closed it trying not to make a lot of noise.

The feeling was awful it was as if you couldn’t breathe, you tried to take deep breaths, but it was hard to breathe, the tickle in your throat started to be unbearable and trying to clear your throat many times the feeling didn’t go away.

The sound of the movie was loud enough for you to hear it even inside the bathroom so it was safe for you to make more noise, you couldn’t stand the feeling and your coughs started to be more aggressive even to the point where you thought you were choking.

After what it felt like hours finally you spat purple and red petals into the sink, you couldn’t believe how many petals had come out of your mouth, there were several and still you felt as if you couldn’t breathe properly.

Trying to clear your throat again, hoping that the uncomfortable feeling would go away, but it didn’t, after calming a little, you tasted blood in your mouth, but you were confused, just some days ago you had just spat two or three petals and now there were more, was it possible that the disease could have progressed more in just some hours? That couldn’t be possible right?

You took the petals that were in the sink and threw them to the trash bin, now you were a little scared, this was happening so fast, you were afraid now, and you couldn’t even tell anyone.

Washing the sink, you proceed to wash your hands with the liquid soap, splashing some water into your face and drying yourself, you looked at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t believe what had just happened.

You couldn’t even explain what had happened at all, why had you suddenly started to cough in such a violent way?

Looking at yourself in the mirror you noticed that what it looked like little veins were visible in your chest and part of your neck, you were sure those weren’t veins, they were the roots of the flowers growing inside your lungs, they were barely visible but you could see them if you pay enough attention to them.

You came back to the living room and you felt relieved that the boys hadn’t noticed anything, you really didn’t want them to notice anything, it wasn’t good.

“Do you want some?” You heard Billy and saw he was offering you a can of soda.

“Thanks” You smiled and took it from his hand, they were good kids and the situation you were in made you fear, you were going to miss them, you were going to miss spending time with them and with ther mums, you had been preparing yourself for what you knew was going to happen, but now you were afraid, it had hurt a lot and the sensation of not being able to breathe was awful.

You couldn’t focus on the movie playing in front of you, there were many things going on in your head at the moment, everything was happening so fast and even though you had thought you were ready, but in fact, you weren’t.

You felt too tired that you didn’t even notice you fell asleep on the couch next to the kids.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

You felt a hand shaking you a little, and slowly you opened your eyes to see that in front of you was Agatha with her hand on your shoulder, you quickly straightened and sat upright, how much time had passed since you fell asleep?  At what time had they arrived?

“What time is it?” You blurted out.

“It´s 9:30” Agatha said softly, and you grumbled a little.

"I’m sorry I fell asleep, I don’t know what happened, I just felt so tired, I’m really sorry” you said to her, you felt guilty about it.

“It’s alright doll, you don’t have to apologize, are you alright?“ Agatha asked you and you quickly nodded.

"The boys told us they had heard you coughing in the bathroom, y/n, is everything alright?” Asked Wanda coming closer to you to sit next to you in the couch.

Your eyes went wide opened because you had sworn the boys hadn’t heard you.

“Darling earlier in the flower shop you were coughing as well, I heard you, are you sick?” At Agatha’s question Wanda frowned, she was concerned about you.

“I’m fine, I’m more than fine, maybe it’s just a cold” Agatha and Wanda exchanged looks, they were really concerned because you looked tired and paler.

“I think it’s too late and the twins have to sleep just as you, so I think it will be better if a leave” You rushed yourself to say.

"We can accompany you to your house if you want-

“No, not it’s alright, my house is just three houses far from yours, so I’ll arrive quickly”.

They were confused because they didn’t understand why you were in such hurry to suddenly wanting to leave, they could see that you really wanted to go, but it was strange to them, that you didn’t even say goodbye to the kids, they really didn’t want to pressure you, but they really cared for you deeply, and your behavior was strange, they really wanted to help you, but they couldn’t if you didn’t let them first, they could sense there was something in the wind.

They exchanged looks and just let you go, they will have time in the morning to talk to you again, their worry won´t be appeased until they were sure you were alright.

Looking at you are walking outside their house and closing the door with such quietness was odd for them.

“I think there´s something off with her” Wanda whispered to Agatha and the older woman nodded, it was true, there was something going on with you.

“I know love but what can we do if she doesn’t let us know?” The dark-haired woman inquired with a disappointed tone.

“What if we…?” Agatha´s eyes widened, and it was clear that she knew what her girlfriend was talking about.

“No, we can´t do that to her, we will be breaking her trust Wanda!” Agatha rushed to say to her while taking Wanda´s hands on hers.

“But otherwise how are we going to know what´s happening to her?” Agatha gave a disappointed look at her.

“No, I said no, we won´t read her mind, we can´t do that, if we do that, she´s going to feel betrayed and you know it, we have to wait until she feels ready”.

“Alright, we won´t do that, I´m sorry, it´s just that I feel really concerned, I can´t be in peace knowing there´s something affecting her” Wanda said while caressing the back of Agatha´s hand with her thumb.

“I know but she just needs some time” Agatha tried to reassured her girlfriend, the older woman left a soft kiss on Wanda´s forehead before standing up from the couch to go to the bathroom to was her hands.

Entering to the bathroom and letting the water run down she had to turn the faucet off because something caught her attention at the bottom of the floor.

“Wanda?” She called for her girlfriend and the worried tone in Agatha made her walk faster to the bathroom.

“What´s going on?” Agatha´s heart was beating faster against her chest, she prayed it wasn’t what she wasn’t thinking.

“Are those petals?” Wanda asked confused kneeling a little to have a closer look at them.

“But they have blood in them, Wanda, do you think that, maybe those came from her?” Agatha´s hand started to shake a little and Wanda covered her gasping mouth, quickly standing up from the floor.

“That must be why she´s been coughing a lot, but who´s doing this to her?” Wanda grabbed her girlfriend´s hands in hers and she hold them closer to her, fear was what they were feeling at that moment, the uncertainty of what was going to happen from now on, the fear of you fading away like a withered flower scared them to death.

It wasn’t unfair, you were so bright, you were so smart, you could light up every room even a whole city, you just brough joy to the lives of the people you talked to, why was this happening to you?

“It´s not fair Agatha” The dark-haired woman pulled Wanda closer to her chest and they stayed ther for some minutes.

“I know it´s not fair, she doesn’t deserve this” Tears were threatening to fall from the corner of her yes.

“We have to talk to her, I thought she needed time, but we don´t even know how much time she has left, maybe we can do something, I know we can save her, alright?” Wanda just nodded against her chest, she really hoped they could save you.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

When you arrived at you house you tried to sleep, but you couldn’t sleep at all, you felt as if something was pressing your chest, you couldn’t breathe well, and you knew very well that indicated the roots were growing more, they were starting to obstruct your lungs.

You had been thinking about this for the whole week since it had started, but the truth it was that you still weren’t ready to leave this life, the simple thought of your breathing stopping frightened you, you weren’t ready at all.

Turning and tossing all nights because you couldn’t sleep made you feel frustrated, the mere thought of full flowers coming out of your mouth scared you, you knew that in some more days full flowers would come out of your mouth and you were going to feel real pain due to the thorns of the roses, for the first time in your entire life you wished you could have never loved someone, you knew it wasn’t their fault, you kept blaming yourself, it had been your fault, if only you weak heart hadn’t fall for them, if only you had been born with an incapacity to love, this wouldn’t have been so painful, you had tried to suppress the sadness that you knew deep down you felt, for days you had tried to suppress it, trying to act as if you were calmed and that you were alright with the thought of flowers blossoming inside you, but the truth was that you weren’t alright with it.

The urges to cough again came to you and this time it was harder to contain it, you went to the bathroom faster as you could you didn’t even have time to spit them into the sink, you did it right at the entrance of the bathroom, the coughs were more violent than hours ago, you were almost choking with the amount of petals coming from your mouth, the beautiful petals were covered with your own blood and you couldn’t even stand the sight, you were trembling, but you had to clean out, so that´s what you did.

You were scared, the only mistake you had done was to love them and now you were suffering, you couldn’t just stand the thought of them never loving you back, they were happy with each other and you knew you had to feel happy for them, but you just wanted to be selfish at least for tonight, just for tonight you wanted to cry and get rid of all the sadness and pain you felt in your chest, the thought of no one loving you and dying with a broken heart was awful, you didn’t want anyone else to feel what you were feeling, you didn’t wish this to anyone.

You wished you could stop loving them, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t, you had fallen for them, you will be facing death in some days, flowers obstructing your lungs and throat was a tragedy but, was it a beautiful tragedy? Now you just wanted them to notice how much they meant to you and the feelings you had for them, but you knew you couldn’t this to them, it was so unfair for them, you had to suffer in silence, they could never know what was growing inside of you.

The next day when you finally woke up after only having some hours of sleep you went to the bathroom to wash your mouth and spit some more purple and red petals out of your mouth.

You saw your reflection on the mirror and you could see that the roots were now more visible than yesterday, they look a lot as if they were veins, but thy were too many; passing softly your fingers over your skin you could even swear you could feel them under your skin.

Washing your mouth so the taste of the blood could go away you heard the doorbell rang, who could it be at this hour? It was too early in the morning.

Opening the door, you were surprised to see the two people who you loved the most with worried looks on their faces.

“Who’s doing this to you?”  Wanda asked with tears on her eyes, she was pointing at you, Agatha and Wanda entered to your house, making you placed yourself to the side of the door so they could enter, and you just felt astonished what were they doing here on a Sunday morning? And did she mean?

“What are you talking about Wanda?” You asked her while closing the door behind you.

“Don´t lie to us y/n” Agatha had a sad look on her face that made you feel hurt, you´ve never seen her like this.

“We saw the bloody petals on the bathroom´s floor” Wanda came closer to you her tone of voice was full of concerned, you sighed and closed your eyes lowering your gaze, you couldn’t see them in the eyes, you had been afraid that they could notice it and they already knew because you couldn’t hide the petals.

“We want to help you. Who´s doing this to you?” Agatha took your hands in hers and you let out a bitter laugh.

“I can´t tell you” You whispered, and Wanda softly rubbed your shoulders.

“We just want to help you, don’t push us away” You didn’t want to push them away, but what else you could do? It wouldn’t help you at all.

“Why don’t you want us to help you? We´re your friends- “

“That’s why you can´t help me, I´m sorry” You blurted out and dropped Agatha´s hands, you couldn’t tell this to them while looking at their eyes.

“I´m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to fall, I couldn’t stop myself, when I realized it was already too late” Tears came out of your eyes, moving your hands in the air trying to get some kind of relief to the pain in your chest.

“I can´t help myself, I can´t stop myself from loving you, and I´m sorry, this is not fair for you, this is all my fault”.

Covering your mouth with you hand, you tried to silence the sobs coming out from your mouth.

“y/n” You heard Wanda´s voice calling you behind you.

“Please, I can´t do this, not now” You didn’t turn yourself around to look at them, so they put themselves in front of you.

“Baby girl, you don’t have to be ashamed of your feelings” Agatha wanted to grab your hand but she wasn’t sure if it would be the best to do, she didn’t want to make you feel more upset.

“We thought, you were in love with someone else, and that broke our hearts, because we thought we were going to lose you” This time it was Wanda the one who spoke

You couldn’t look at them, so you didn’t lift your head, you just kept looking to the floor.

A soft hand came to your chin, Wanda´s hand softly lifter your head with her hand but still you couldn’t look at them.

“Please printsessa, look at us” You shook your head and tried to move her hand away with yours, but Agatha stopped you, instead she grabbed your hand and hold it into hers.

“We feel the same y/n, we´ve been wanting to tell you, but we didn’t know how o when to do it, we were scared that you weren’t into it, we thought we could only have your friendship, but darling we can cure you, we feel the same” What had Wanda said?

“That´s not true, you can´t joke with that!” You didn’t know where the anger had come from.

“She´s not joking, she´s saying the truth y/n, we feel the same about you” Agatha tried not to raise her voice, she didn’t want to upset you she just wanted to make you believe them.

“Stop lying, I´ve read many times that there are cases in which the other part just lie so they don´t have to feel guilty about this, please, you don´t have to lie, I already accepted, this is not your fault, you don´t have to lie to make this stop”

“We´re not lying!” Wanda said suddenly raising her voice.

“How could we be lying about this?” Wanda´s voice was desperate; you could hear the desperation in her voice.

“You have to believe us, we´re not lying doll” Agatha´s voice was filled with grief.

You didn’t know what to believe, what if it was true? What if they were lying just because they didn’t want you to die? There many possibilities, you didn’t want them to be lying but you couldn’t believe that they were saying the truth, suddenly it started to be hard for you to breath, it started to be more painful to breath, you felt a strong pressure on your chest, the sensation of something making pressure inside your throat made you choke, you couldn’t breathe.

Instantly you knelt on the floor, gasping for some air.

“What´s wrong? y/n?” The view horrified them, you were choking, you were trying to breathe but you couldn’t, they saw the way you pressed one of your hand to your throat, trying to relief the pressure in your neck.

You felt something coming out of your mouth and even when you tried to spit it you couldn’t, you felt it was too big and you couldn’t even spit it.

“We have to do something Agatha, she´s choking, there´s an entire flower coming out of her mouth, we can´t let her die!” Wanda was shaking with fear and the tears keep streaming down her face.

Agatha came to your side to hold your body against hers, you were passing out due to the lack of air, you were closing your eyes and it scared her.

“I will try to remove them from her lungs with my magic, I don´t what´s going to happen, but we can´t let her die Wanda, you have to help me” Agatha told her while holding your body against her and Wanda came to her side, Wanda opened your shirt a little and the saw the roots of the flowers, they were a lot inside your chest and they could see them underneath your beautiful skin, Agatha couldn’t contain her tears anymore and even though she wanted to scream she tried to maintain calm.

The two of them pressed their hands on your chest and purple magic and red came from them, some stems were already coming out of your mouth and they could see that more red petals were coming out, they really hoped this could help you, they were scared, Agatha wanted to remove the seed of the flowers, the seeds of your painful and deep love for them in order to save, Wanda knew what this meant, but if that meant to sabe your life, she was going to do whatever even if that meant, you would never love them again.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶

  You woke up in a room you´ve never seen before, but you recognized the smell of the perfume that lingered in the room.

You remembered what had happened and quickly you looked at your chest, there was no trace of the roots underneath your skin, the pressure in it wasn’t there anymore and finally you didn’t feel the annoying sensation of something itching in your throat.

You heard the door being opened and you saw Agatha and Wanda entering to the room, Wanda looked as if she had been crying, her eyes were puffy and a little red as well as Agatha´s eyes.

“What happened?” You asked them when they were close enough of you, Wanda sit next to you and Agatha sit next you to as well on the other side of the bed, they were both by your sides.

“We saved you” You blinked many times, how had they done that? You thought that the seed could be removed only by surgery.

“But that´s impossible how-¨ You stopped talking when you saw Agatha´s hand making a movement with her hand and purple mist covered her hand.

“We saved you, we didn’t want you to die, we removed the seeds from your lungs, as well as the red rose that was blossoming” You could hear sadness and Agatha´s voice but you didn’t understand why, suddenly you felt a hand holding yours.

“We almost lose you; we were so scared; you were asleep for three days! I thought you weren’t going to wake up again” Wanda was crying again, Agatha´s hand came to rub your shoulder a little, you didn’t understand why they were so sad.

“But I´m here, you saved me” You said to the two of them, holding both hands in each one of your hands.

“You saved me and I´m grateful for that, I was so scared I was going to die” You saw how the two of them exchanged a look and Wanda stood up from the bed.

“We have something for you” She looked back at Agatha and you saw that she was nodding at her, you were confused, why were they being so secretive.

Wanda left the room and minutes later when she came back to it you saw she was holding a bouquet of flowers; you felt your heart leapt at the sight of the beautiful Ambrosias.

“We wanted to give you this, we know how much love flowers, and even after what happened, we´re sure your love for them, will be the same” You felt your lip trembling a little and you took the small bouquet in your hands, of course you knew the meaning of the flowers, but did they knew?

“What does this mean?” You asked them while eyeing both women.

“It means exactly what you are thinking, doll” You felt like you were going to cry at any time.

“We weren’t lying y/n, we made a research about what flowers someone can give to the loved one, we wanted to let you know that our love for you is mutual, we´re not sure if you still feel the same, but we just wanted to let you know how we feel” Agatha explained to you, never letting go of your hand.

“But my feelings for you haven’t changed, why do you think that?” Wanda blinked several times.

“You mean, that you still feel something for us?” Agatha asked you while squeezing your hand a little.

“Yes, I don´t know why you think my feelings changed” You said with a shy smile.

"So, now you believe us?” Asked Agatha and you shyly nod.

“Now, this means we can have a chance?”  You felt your heart beating faster against your chest, you could swear the blush in your face was visible.

Agatha couldn’t help herself and she hugged you passing her arm around your waist when she separated from you Wanda was the next to hug you, just as the same way Agatha had done, one of her arms passed around your waist.

“You don’t know how happy you just made us y/n now we can have what we have been wanting for a long time, you don´t need to hide anything from us, you can trust us y/n” Agatha´s hand was caressing your cheek while Wanda softly stroked your hair.

You didn’t know what was going to happen from now on, but you were happy, this was your new chance to live, and you were going to make sure you enjoy it this time, the pain and sadness wasn’t inside your heart anymore, you felt content and with the two women there with you, you knew you weren’t going to feel sad again, you were happy that weren’t lying and all of what had happened you were sure, had been worthy.

“Now we can be the ones to give you flowers baby girl” Agatha´s voice distracted you from your thoughts.

“You are aware I own a flower shop, right?” Wanda laughed and Agatha playfully rolled her eyes.

“Yes, we´re aware of that, but we can still give them to you, we already know the meaning of many flowers we can give to you, to show our love for you” Wanda hold your hand and finally you understood how it felt to be loved.

[hungee-boy]

Our House is Unsafe, Help Us Gain a New Start

Do NOT tag as #d*nation, #m*tual aid, #p*ypal, #c*shapp, etc.

My name is Ross and I'm the oldest child of my family, with whom I currently live with. Our household consists of me, my widowed mother, and my three younger siblings, the youngest being 16. My dad died suddenly in his sleep November of 2021 and since then we have struggled pretty much every day to keep ourselves alive and housed.

Our house, my childhood home, is a 3 bedroom mobile home built in 1990 and for as long as I can remember, it has always been hoarded and falling apart. Over the past few years, we've made significant progress in reducing the hoard and giving us space to live in, but still this is a 30+ year mobile home that is damaged beyond our capability to repair.

Problems that exist currently in our house include:

No working HVAC

Half of the house has no power

Weakened floors due to water and pet damage

Outdoor siding rotting due to plant growth and water damage

Major leaks in the covered porch's roof, causing immense water damage and mold growth

Drywall, ceiling, and flooring damage (our entire kitchen's floor is just plywood now due to damage)

So many other issues that I've honestly lost track

We, of course, originally planned to slowly fix whatever issues had come up, but our plans changed when we came across a deal to purchase a brand new 5 bedroom mobile home for a discounted price. Not only does a new house such as this give us a safe, secure, and clean place to live, but the additional rooms ensure that all of us have our own bedroom and that we have more space to live and work. Currently, me, my mom, and my sister all share the master bedroom, so obviously the concept of all of us having our own privacy is leading us to make this decision more.

Right now, we currently have $2,000 put towards the down payment for the new house, out of a $9,000 down payment. We are able to make payments early and we expected to be able to put money down every month, until my mom's job fucked her over and didn't schedule her for 6 weeks. This greatly put us behind not just on payments for the new house, but also bills and getting my mom's car insured and registered, as it's now a year overdue for both.

I'll do anything for this chance, anything if it means that my family and I can finally have a home we deserve, a home my dad would've wanted for us.

I'm desperate, we're all desperate, for a chance to live normally for the first time in our lives. Living in squalor is all I've known and the opportunity to escape it is honestly the only thing keeping me going right now.

I don't know what I'd do if I'm forced to live in this shithole another year, let alone for the rest of my life. So, please, if you have the means I'd forever be grateful if you donate. If you can't donate, then please share this. It would mean everything to me.

Links:

[PP] [CA]

Thank you if you read this, thank you if you share, and thank you so so much if you donate.

[lovebvni]

mindset of manifestation & how i manifest

like melanie martínez, i am back from the dead.

i apologize for being gone so long, but i needed a break from tumblr. i saw toxicity swirling in the community, my life got busy, and i decided it was just time for a break. when i was planking to come back, i just saw how things got terrible and i got upset and decided not to come back.

so, im back now and with a little tutorial on how i manifest!!! <3 i hope this can help some of you out.

let’s start with background.

manifesting is kind of like predicting the future. you have something you want to happen, then it happens soon after. i feel like this is the easiest way to get into the manifestation mindset. you cannot change what you’re getting if you want it. could you change your mind later and return it like a package? yes! but before it arrives, you know it’s arrival is coming.

sure, there can be delays, but it all is going to turn out YOUR way in the end.

nile and i have been working on our mindset and this is something they wrote that i think can be really helpful — as it was to me.

from the past two years we have been actively manifesting, we learned that we often saw things as “crazy”. but manifesting isn’t crazy, it’s quite normal.

every time you get dressed in the morning, it’s an act of manifestation. you’re showing up with what you want.

manifestation is a mondane activity!! stop treating it like it was a kiss from an angel!

by reading this, you’re manifesting your eyes working, you’ve used your hands to open an app, and you have believed you can read and get through this blog! without manifesting that, you would not be here.

the first step to manifestation is believing you can do it, believing you have done it, and believing you will continue to do it. period.

there are many MANY different ways to manifest, but i manifest in 3 ways (sometimes i use all three, sometimes i use just 1 or 2.)

!! I ALMOSR FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND IM ADDING IT BEFORE I GET TO NUMBER 2 OMG!!

STOP! BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO GET A NOTEBOOK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR MAKE A CHECKLIST ON YOUR PHONE IN YOUR NOTES APP!!!

now i want you to write down everything you want right now down and leave the boxes blank if you haven’t gotten them yet.

once you get through that, i want you to randomly click between some of the items you want and write down things you wanted that you did get! they can be some simple and things from years ago, what matters is you have them down. throw in some things that you may have to do for school or work while you’re at it.

here’s an example! (left is before checking off, right is after)

as you can see, i added a note to the side because i got what i wanted and more abundantly! i had been manifesting a dog since i was a young child, and in 2021, i got 2!!!! (one is laying at my feet right now <3)

continue to do this daily, weekly, or whatever you have time for. i personally do this on notion and i try to add something new daily (im adding the heartstopper thing rn!!)

but yeah!! write everything u want down, and continue to add to it, just so u can see progress DOES happen and your work and effort DOES pay off!

affirming and persisting

this id the first way i learned to manifest, and the most self-explanatory.

you simply repeat what you want over and over until you get it! but not in the future tense, in the current or past tense.

ex; “i passed my maths final!”, “im so happy my boyfriend gave me those roses for valentine’s day, he’s so sweet!”, “i finished the essay for english like a week before it was due!” “i got the lead role in my play! im so excited!” etc.

now, the common factor between all of these is having a positive mindset about them. i cannot tell you HOW many times i manifested something would go well, and right before they happened, i got in a shitty mind space and wondered if it would ever happen.

but, nonetheless, i persisted through and i got what i wanted.

the pain have have been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18

persisting is basically pushing through. think about the time you didn’t think you would make it through an injury, a school year, a trial, yet you still walked through it — even if it was slow.

like when work days are long and you want to go home, but you can’t, so you persist.

i try to think of my manifestations as an ultimatum. it’s going to happen, and that’s final. the only thing you have to do to get it is stay conscious.

and staying conscious, walking through those days, is how you get to the end!

i use affirming and persisting with pretty much everything, which is why it was first.

2. listening to subs.

it’s that simple — listen to an audible subliminal that has the results you want over and over!! that’s all i do u guys. here’s my playlist if u want it (IF I DELETE IT CHECK MY PINNED POST!! I UPDATE IT OFTEN)

i often use @stilljuststardust’s subs, slade’s subs, enchanted workshops’ subs and i want it, i got it’s subs!

all of them are trusted and credible. i cannot promise you that all the subs in my playlist will work for you, as they are (sometimes) linked to my personal desires.

3. pinterest manifestation!!

i recommend having either a whole pinterest account or a board set aside for this way of manifestation.

you simply make boards (or sections) for things you want. i would say this is best for physical items, people, looks, makeup, etc. things that re physically tangible, rather than something like reality shifting (although i do have a reality shifting board! it has been working pretty well <3)

i also have one for my mindset, my religion, so on and so forth (link btw)

i think this is pretty self explanatory. just save picture of things you want and quotes/affirmations and DONE!

i also use this sub with it :p it’s worked WONDERSSS!

if you have any other questions i will be happy to answer them!! i love you all!! go manifest!!

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE — PART TWO

paige x azzi

warnings: language

word count: 4.8k

A/N: Here’s the next chapter!! It’s another chap of me setting the scene so bear with me. The next chapters when Azzi officially gets on campus will have more interaction between them. I’m also not sure how I feel about the 1st person POV so I might stop after this who knows. Anywho let me know what you think and leave comments and live reactions if you can!! Happy New Year everyone 🥳

—————————————————————————

July 2019 - Paige POV

I was deep into my basketball workout, the sound of the ball echoing through the gym as I went through the drills with precision. My trainer standing by the sideline, coaching me through each movement — footwork, ball-handling, shot mechanics. I was lost in the rhythm of it all, my mind focused solely on the next move, the next shot, just as I did every offseason.

But then, something on the TV caught my attention.

The US 3x3 tournament was on — I hadn't been paying too much attention to it, but I always found time for basketball, no matter who was playing. It was in my blood. I just loved the game at all levels.

My focus slipped for a second as I looked over at the screen, noticing the score was a little close. Then I saw Azzi.

I froze, the ball bouncing softly at my side as I watched everything unfold. One minute, she was pushing through the defense, looking like she was about to make a play, and the next, she was on the floor. Her knee buckled awkwardly, and I saw her fall, immediately clutching it. The pain was clear as day on her face.

"Oh fuck," I muttered under my breath, the word escaping before I could stop it. My trainer immediately moving toward the TV to turn the volume up.

The announcers' voices filled the gym, sharp with concern. "All of a sudden there’s concern for the health of one of the best high schoolers in the country. We can only hope Azzi Fudd is able to walk out of here on her own which will be a good sign for all the viewers who I’m sure are holding their breath as this all unfolds." One said, the gravity of the situation weighing heavily in his tone.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen as Azzi stayed down, her face twisted in pain, tears welling in her eyes as the camera zoomed in on her. I hate when they do that shit.

I didn’t particularly like Azzi. She was too passive for my liking, not nearly as fiery or intense as I thought a player should be. Especially someone of her caliber. Plus she fouled the hell out of me for no reason that one time. But seeing her in that kind of pain? That wasn’t something I could enjoy. Despite all the rivalry, despite everything, I hated seeing anyone get hurt.

For all our back-and-forth, the trash talk, the competitiveness that had grown between us, I never wanted to see her hurt. She had just had an incredible season, her name up there with the best in the country — and now, it could all come crashing down in a second. This injury could change everything for her, just like that.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when my trainer asked, “You think she’s going to be ight?”

I didn’t answer right away. I just stood there, watching as they helped Azzi off the court, her face still contorted in pain as she limped off. It hit me kinda hard — this was a big deal, and despite everything that had happened on the court between us, I couldn’t help but feel for her.

“Yeah,” I muttered. "I’m sure she’ll bounce back."

After that the gym felt a little different now. The ball didn’t bounce as loudly, and the drill didn’t seem as important. All I could think about was how quickly things could change in an instant. How that could have been me. How it could still be me.

…

Later that night, laying in bed, Paige aimlessly scrolled through social media. Her feed was flooded with news of Azzi's injury. It was everywhere. All anyone seemed to be talking about was the #1 player in the class of 2021 tearing both her ACL and MCL after her incredible sophomore year. Paige had to admit, it hit her in a way she wasn’t prepared for. She had seen Azzi's growth first-hand the few times they’d played — her rise to stardom, the awards, and now, this. The thought of the rivalry they'd shared now feeling so... empty... nagged at her.

Paige knew that she’d see St. John’s again twice next year but something about the thought of no Azzi in the mix made it not as exciting. Without Azzi, there wouldn’t be any real competition left. Their games had been some of the most intense, back-and-forth battles she’d ever played in, and now that felt like it was over. There was no way Azzi would be back before the playoffs next year.

Paige’s fingers hovered over her phone screen as her mind wandered. She didn’t know why she was doing this, but she found herself scrolling through her contacts, looking for Azzi's number. They’d played together on the U16 team and Paige had everyone’s number from the team saved after they insisted on having a groupchat. She tapped it and paused, unsure of what to say, knowing if she was in Azzi’s shoes no words would ease whatever she was feeling. Still she sent a message anyway.

You'll bounce back. It's just a setback Fudd.

She stared at the message, fingers hovering for a moment before hitting send. She didn’t expect a response. What was she even doing? Azzi probably didn’t even want to hear from her, they didn’t even like each other. But it felt wrong to just leave it at that — to not acknowledge what Azzi was going through. She knew the girl after all.

With a heavy sigh, Paige set her phone down and went to brush her teeth to get ready for bed. She didn’t really expect a response back.

But when she returned, phone in hand, her screen illuminated, signaling a new notification.

Thank you, means a lot.

Paige typed a quick reply: Anytime.

Then she put her phone on the nightstand, settling into bed as she turned on a WNBA game.

November 2019

Azzi sat at the end of the bench, her leg throbbing slightly beneath the brace, trying to make sense of the game she’d just watched. Her team had been outclassed from the jump, and without her on the floor, it felt like they had no chance. Paige of course had been unstoppable—37 points, and the craziest part was, she didn’t touch the floor the whole fourth quarter. It was almost embarrassing to watch.

When the buzzer finally rang, signaling the end of the game, Azzi’s shoulders slumped and she sighed in relief that it was over. She didn’t even look at the scoreboard; it didn’t matter. She stayed seated as her teammates lined up to shake hands with the Gonzaga players. The energy in the gym was deflated—everyone had known the outcome was a foregone conclusion the moment the game tipped off.

As Azzi adjusted her knee brace and slowly stood up, she was surprised to see Paige walking toward her.

The other players from Gonzaga hadn’t thought to come over and shake her hand, but Paige didn’t hesitate. She offered Azzi a quick high five, her face a mix of competitiveness and something else. Azzi raised an eyebrow, taken aback by the gesture but unwilling to show any emotion to the blonde in front of her.

Paige’s voice was light, almost teasing. “What’s that, 4-1 now, Fudd?”

Azzi couldn’t help but scoff. “You didn’t talk shit the whole game,” she said, eyes narrowing. “You just had to come over here and ruin it, didn't you?”

Paige laughed, a playful glint in her eyes. As she turned to walk away, she tossed over her shoulder, “No comp to talk shit to on the court that’s all.”

Azzi watched her go, a mix of annoyance and begrudging admiration in her chest. Paige had a way of making things look easy, and even though Azzi hated it and hated how she acted, she couldn’t deny it—Paige was damn good.

March 2020 - Paige’s POV

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, my head in my hands, stomach in knots. My phone sat next to me, buzzing with more notifications I couldn’t bring myself to check. The championship game we’d worked so damn hard for, the perfect season we’d earned — all of it, gone. Just like that.

CoVid-19 had canceled the last game, and I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. It felt like a bad dream. The end of my high school career. Just like that, like a snap of a few fingers. Kind of funny how life is in that way.

We had been unstoppable. Undefeated. We were supposed to go out on top. I was supposed to walk off that court with my teammates, with that championship trophy, the culmination of all the hard work and sacrifice after losing last year. But now, it was all over, and I was left with nothing but this empty feeling in my chest.

It felt wrong, especially after the season I’d had. Gatorade Female High School Athlete of the Year. Gatorade National Player of the Year. Naismith Prep Player of the Year. Morgan Wootten National Player of the Year. I was on the cover of SLAM, for fucks sake. A McDonald’s All-American. I was supposed to play in the Jordan Brand Classic. The championship with my team was supposed to be the last piece of the puzzle. And now it was just... taken from me. From all of us.

I wasn’t the only one feeling it, but that didn’t make it any easier. My teammates were crushed, too. We all were. We’d worked for this. We had dreams about our comeback season, and now they were dashed. I just couldn’t understand how everything had unraveled so quickly.

It wasn’t just about the game, though. It was everything that came with it. The way everything seemed to be falling into place too quickly. My future at UConn was waiting, but it felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me before I was ready. All of a sudden, the world felt uncertain even though I knew exactly where I was headed for the next four years.

I tried not to think about the stuff I’d lose, like the last game I was supposed to play, the players I was supposed to compete against, and the milestones I was supposed to hit with my team. Instead, I kept thinking about what was next.

The only thing I could do right now was work. There was no championship trophy to hold, no fans to cheer for me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t still prepare.

So, I grabbed my shoes and headed to the gym. I knew there was no real closure here. Not right now, so it was pointless to get in my feelings about it. Pointless to sit around and be sad. There was still a season ahead of me, more basketball to play. College was waiting now.

…

The gym was quiet except for the sound of basketballs bouncing. Paige was working through her shots, focused as she tested her range and worked on different combo moves. She wasn’t expecting company, everything was shut down. Her thoughts were elsewhere—on the future, not on what had been taken from her. The weight of losing her senior season to the pandemic still hung over her, though she didn’t let it show in her work.

Then, she heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her. She pulled off her headphones and turned around, surprised to see Azzi standing there. It had been about seven months since Azzi’s knee injury, and seeing her standing there in person was different from seeing her in a game. The two of them never really spoke outside of playing one another, and the awkwardness of the situation wasn’t lost on either of them.

Azzi paused when their eyes met. “My bad, didn’t know anyone was here,” she said, clearly about to turn and leave. The gym was small and only half a court and she didn’t want to deal with whatever Paige had to say today.

Paige shook her head in disagreement, clearly not phased by her presence. “It’s cool. You don’t need to leave.”

Azzi hesitated before nodding and walking over to the bench, sitting down to put on her basketball shoes. Paige returned to shooting. Once Azzi had finished getting ready, she stood up, stretched, and grabbed a ball. Paige was still shooting when she glanced over taking off her headphones again.

“How’s the knee?” Paige asked before she could stop herself, looking down at the black sleeve covering Azzi’s right leg. Her voice broke the silence, and Azzi looked at her, surprised by the blonde speaking to her.

“It’s a work in progress,” Azzi replied, her tone softer than Paige had ever heard. It was clear she was still recovering, but she didn’t seem too eager to talk about it.

Paige simply hummed in response, turning back to the basket. Neither of them said much after that.

Paige continued to go through her drills as Azzi worked on her shots, most of them swishing effortlessly through the net, though she was missing more than usual. Paige, focused as always, didn’t really think too much about what the other girl had going on. After a while of silence, Azzi turned to her.

“Congrats on all your awards, by the way,” Azzi said, her voice genuine, even if it came out a little unexpectedly and awkwardly. Paige nodded, briefly acknowledging it with a half smile. There wasn’t much more to say—her accomplishments had all come in a season that felt incomplete, and she didn’t really wanna think about that right now.

Then, on a rebound, Azzi’s ball went a little further than expected, and Paige jogged to retrieve it, having been closer as she was getting some water. Azzi watched her and when Paige came back, she passed Azzi the ball without a word.

That was the turning point. Instead of keeping to their separate routines, they began to shoot together. Azzi rebounded for Paige, and Paige did the same for Azzi. They moved around the court, each shot a natural rhythm as they stepped into the pass. The way they moved, the way they passed and shot, was effortless, like they had done this a thousand times before. Neither said a word as they shot, they were just happy to not have to run after their own rebound every two seconds. The ease between them told a story of mutual respect even though it was usually clear they weren’t too fond of each other.

The silence between them stretched on as Paige and Azzi continued to shoot. The rhythm of their movements, the swish of the net, and the soft thud of the ball bouncing were the only sounds filling the gym. They both seemed absorbed in their own thoughts as they passed the ball back and forth.

After some time, Paige’s phone kept buzzing so she glanced at the clock. She had been there longer than she’d planned, and she remembered telling Drew she’d take him to the movies. So she reluctantly made her way to the bench to take off her basketball shoes even though she hadn’t cleared her mind like she hoped. Azzi was still shooting, focused and intent, as if the ball and the hoop were the only things that mattered.

Paige bent down to untie her shoes, glancing up as she did. Azzi missed another shot, and the ball rolled off to the side. Paige grabbed it without thinking, tossing it back to Azzi with a casual flick of her wrist.

As the ball landed back in Azzi’s hands, Paige couldn’t help but notice the slight hesitation in Azzi’s movements, the way she seemed to favor her left leg a bit. Azzi took a moment before shooting again, but the ball missed again, clanging off the rim and bouncing awkwardly as the girl groaned in frustration.

Paige stood up, grabbing her shoes from the ground as she spoke. “You’re favoring your left side when you shoot now,” she said, her voice calm but observant. “That’s why your shot’s not falling. You gotta trust that your knee will be fine.”

Azzi paused, the ball resting in her hands as she processed the comment. Paige could see the wheels turning in Azzi’s mind, the realization slowly dawning on her. She didn’t reply, but Paige noticed the way she shifted her weight as she took a second shot, more thoughtfully this time as it went through the net.

Paige didn't linger, just headed toward the door. Azzi didn’t say anything more either, lost in her thoughts as she continued to shoot.

November 2020

Azzi had been wrestling with the decision for weeks. The pressure to commit was everywhere, with coaches, family, and even fans weighing in with their opinions. Narrowing her choices to UCLA, Maryland, and UConn had been easy enough—each school had its appeal.

Maryland offered familiarity. The hometown hero story would mean playing in front of her family and friends, building a legacy close to home. UCLA? Well, their facilities were out of this world, and the program was on the rise and it would be nice to be the player who brought them to the top. But UConn... UConn was something else entirely.

The school was synonymous with greatness. Azzi had grown up dreaming of wearing that blue and white jersey, playing under Geno Auriemma, and being part of a dynasty, of being a husky. There was no denying the opportunity to grow under one of the best coaches in basketball history.

But there was a large problem. Paige.

Azzi had only crossed paths with Paige a handful of times during their games, but each interaction had left a bad taste in her mouth. Paige Bueckers was an undeniable talent, but her confidence often read as arrogance. The way Paige carried herself—with that smirk and cocky demeanor—rubbed Azzi the wrong way every time. Could she really spend years as a teammate to someone who seemed so self-absorbed? She couldn’t imagine having to share the court with the girl let alone the ball that she would probably never pass to Azzi.

Azzi turned the thought over and over in her mind day after day, replaying memories of Paige’s antics during games, her posturing, the way the media fawned over her, the way she soaked it in. It was irritating. Still, Azzi decided she couldn’t let one person dictate her future. This was her dream, her opportunity to compete at the highest level, to win championships.

When Azzi made her commitment to UConn public, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. The decision was made, and she was ready to face whatever came next—even Paige and all of her bullshit.

A couple of states away in Connecticut, Paige sat scrolling through her phone in the gym when the news broke. A tweet caught her eye, and as she opened it, her jaw nearly hit the floor.

"DMV’s Azzi Fudd, 2021 #1 Recruit Commits to University of Connecticut"

Paige stared at the screen, rereading the headline as if it would change. Her eyebrows shot up, and her eyes bulged in disbelief.

“What the fuck” Paige muttered to herself.

December 2020

During high school winter break Geno organized Azzi to come on a visit to meet the team before her official arrival. The visist had been going smoothly—almost perfectly, in fact. The facilities were incredible, Geno’s warmth and charisma made her feel valued, and the team seemed thrilled to have her there. Everything felt right. Everything except the glaring absence of Paige Bueckers.

It wasn’t like Azzi had come to the visit just to ‘officially’ meet Paige, but it would’ve been nice. Paige was clearly the face of the program now, the freshman star everyone raved about. If they were going to be teammates, Azzi figured they’d at least cross paths before she officially got to campus the upcoming summer. But so far, Paige had been conspicuously absent from all the introductions, the tour, and now the relaxed hangout in the dorm's common area.

The team was great, though. Christyn and Olivia, two of the team’s upperclassmen had gone out of their way to make Azzi feel comfortable, sharing stories about what it was like to play under Geno. Christyn was particularly funny, throwing in sarcastic comments about Olivia’s sometimes over-the-top pregame rituals.

Aaliyah, Nika, Saylor, and Piath—some of the freshmen—were a mix of energy and chaos. Nika’s personality was magnetic; she was constantly cracking jokes and pulling Azzi into the group’s banter. Aaliyah had a quieter, grounded presence, offering up thoughtful questions and laughing at Nika’s antics. Saylor and Piath added their own flair, with Saylor occasionally teasing Nika for her over-the-top expressions and Piath keeping things calm when the group got a little rowdy.

Then there was Aubrey, who was nestled between the older and younger players. She had an easygoing vibe, but there was something quietly sharp about her observations and she didn’t seem to talk much. But as the night wore on, Aubrey began to loosen up a bit and was leaning in to share a few inside jokes about the team dynamics here and there.

“You’ll like it here,” Aubrey said, nudging Azzi with her elbow. “Well, once you get used to all the chaos… and Paige.”

The mention of Paige brought the blonde’s absence into sharper focus. Azzi glanced toward the only closed door in the suite, making her assume it was Paige’s. Azzi had heard what sounded like the same game replaying over and over since she’d been in the suite coming from behind the closed door. She hadn’t thought much of it earlier, but now it felt a little deliberate that she hadn’t come out yet.

Evina noticed Azzi’s glance and sighed. “I’ll go get her,” she said, standing up and walking toward Paige’s door.

Before she could get there and knock, the door swung open. Paige emerged in a whirlwind, a granola bar clamped between her teeth, headphones slung around her neck, her phone in one hand, and her basketball shoes in the other.

“Hey, P,” Evina said, trying to stop her. “Come hang out for a bit. Azzi’s here.”

Paige grunted, barely making eye contact. “Can’t. Played like ass yesterday,” she mumbled around the granola bar before walking past everyone and out of the suite.

Azzi scoffed, unable to hold it in. It was hard not to take it personally. She didn’t know Paige well, but her quick exit felt more like an insult than anything else.

“No, don't take offense,” Evina said, noticing Azzi’s reaction. “Paige is… well, she’s Paige. You’ll get to know her. She’d live in the gym if we let her. Trust me, it’s not about you.”

Aubrey snorted from her spot on the couch. “Yeah I lost a bet and had to drag her out of there twice this week. First time, I turned the lights off. She didn’t even notice, or didn’t care. She just kept shooting until she got tired of me messing with her music and walked out.”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “And the second time?”

“Had to practically carry her out,” Aubrey said with a laugh. “She gave up eventually, but only because I promised her Nika wouldn’t eat all the protein bars anymore.”

“I don’t eat all of them!” Nika protested loudly, drawing laughter from the group.

Azzi chuckled slightly but her irritation still lingered. Sure, Paige might be obsessive about basketball, but her absence still felt pointed with Azzi knowing the older girl didn’t like her. Azzi decided to ignore it though and as the night wore on, the team’s easy camaraderie pulled her in, and Azzi found herself genuinely liking everyone. Even looking forward to being here in the summer.

But Paige’s absence hung over everything, making it hard for Azzi to fully relax. When it got close to midnight and Paige still hadn’t returned, Nika, Aubrey, and Evina began debating who should go to the gym this time.

“I went twice already!” Aubrey said, throwing her hands up. “I’m not doing it again. I’d rather wrestle Olivia’s big ass for the remote.”

“You didn’t even try last yesterday,” Nika teased. “You just texted her and gave up and I had to go eventually.”

“Yeah, because she’s a weirdo when she’s like this.”

Evina groaned, standing up. “Fine shut up. I’ll go.”

Azzi watched as Evina grabbed her keys and headed out, her frustration bubbling to the surface again.

About thirty minutes later, the door to the suite swung open, and Evina stepped in, followed by a very irritated Paige. Azzi immediately noticed the tension as Paige, her hair sticking slightly to her forehead from sweat, strode in mid-sentence.

“It’s not that big of a fucking deal, E,” Paige muttered, clearly continuing a heated discussion the two had been having on their way back.

“It is a big deal,” Evina shot back, her voice calm but firm. “And you’re going to handle it. Now.”

Paige groaned dramatically, tossing her basketball shoes onto the floor by her room before following Evina inside. The door shut behind them, and for a brief moment, the suite was quiet.

Then came the muffled sounds of what was unmistakably yelling. Azzi wasn’t sure whether Paige or Evina was louder, but she could hear enough to piece together that Evina was getting on Paige about something.

The team, meanwhile, carried on as if this was perfectly normal, as if it was their routine. Aaliyah was fiddling with the remote trying to find a game, Aubrey was scrolling through her phone, and Christyn and Olivia were engaged in a debate over which snack brand had the best pretzels.

Eventually, the noise from Paige’s room stopped, and a few moments later, Evina emerged, her expression relaxed and a victorious smile playing on her lips. “She’ll be out soon,” she announced, as if this was some kind of accomplishment.

True to her word, a while later, Paige reappeared. She had swapped her clothes for a loose hoodie and joggers, her wet hair thrown over her shoulders. She glanced at Azzi, her blue eyes softening slightly.

“Hey,” Paige said, offering a small, almost sheepish smile. “Sorry for missing most of your visit. Welcome to UConn Azzi.”

Evina, leaning casually against the kitchen counter, watched the interaction with a knowing grin, as though she’d personally orchestrated this rare moment of civility.

Azzi blinked, caught off guard by Paige’s shift in demeanor. She nodded, her response clipped but polite. “It’s all good.”

Paige didn’t seem to notice Azzi’s hesitation—or if she did, she didn’t care. She flopped down onto the couch between Nika and Olivia with an exaggerated sigh, stretching her legs out and leaning her head against Nika’s shoulder.

“Welcome back to the land of the living twin,” Nika greeted her, her voice light and teasing.

Paige tilted her head, giving Nika a look that Azzi couldn’t quite decipher. It was like an entire conversation passed between them in a single expression. Nika burst out laughing, shaking her head as she nudged Paige playfully, making the blonde crack a smile as she leaned back on Nika’s shoulder.

The casual interaction threw Azzi off. For someone who’d seemed so intense and standoffish earlier, Paige was now practically melting into Nika. It was… strange.

Nika, Azzi had learned over the course of the evening, was one of the sweetest and most outgoing members of the team, always cracking jokes and making people feel included. On the surface, she and Paige couldn’t have been more different, yet here they were, leaning on each other like lifelong best friends.

Before Azzi could think too much about it, Christyn, who had been munching on a bag of chips, reached into the cabinet and tossed two protein bars at Paige, hitting her square in the chest.

“Eat,” Christyn ordered, her tone casual but firm. Paige barely reacted, opening one of the bars and shoving a piece of it in her mouth without a word.

Azzi couldn’t help but notice the dynamic. It was almost as if it was second nature for everyone to take care of Paige. Dragging her out of the gym, making sure she ate, looking out for her even when she seemed pissy about it.

It was strange to witness but oddly endearing picking up on how much they cared about each other. Azzi still wasn’t sure how Paige fit into the easygoing, tight-knit vibe of the rest of the team, but seeing her now—grumbling about snacks while slouching into Nika’s shoulder—it was clear there was more to her than Azzi had originally thought.

Azzi had planned to be the bigger person today and put all their bad blood to the side. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that Paige had been avoiding her, and it left a sour taste, so she kept her mouth shut.

[mcytblrconfessions]

I don't regret my dsmp phase but I genuinely think its time for people to move on. No one should be making discduo posts and fanart in the year of our Lord 2024, no one should be making edits of c! Wilbur or discussing the motivations of c! Tommy, or cosplaying characters from the DSMP. It feels like people doing that are still stuck in 2021 and I'm scared for their mental development. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be watching the CCs, hell, last year I was still writing fanfiction about the CCs, but seriously, its time to let the dsmp die and remember the good old days

are you 5 years old?

[motorsportbarbie13]

What's A Soulmate? Part 3

In which your best friend comes back to you. But is it too late?

Warnings: oof the angst. swearing. that's it. Pairing: Lando Norris X SainzSister!Reader Word Count: 2.5k words

(a/n: this is how i cope after that hot mess of a race today. i hate everything and everyone except for my pookie bear lando norris)

- What's A Soulmate? - Part 1 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2.5 - Master List

2021 You keep your promises. 

2022  And then he started dating her. 

2023 Silence.

March, 2024Australia 

“We are so excited to have you join the team.” Your new boss beams back at you as you follow her through the corridor. “Thank you for making the flight at such short notice. Had we known Summer was going to quit so abruptly, we would have had you come out with the team earlier in the week.” 

You nod, adjusting the collar of your new papaya and black polo. “Of course, I’m just happy it all worked out.” 

The heat of the Australian sun beats down outside the McLaren hospitality building, but inside the air is cool and dry. You’d landed in the country last night after what felt like the longest flight you’ve ever taken from New York into Melbourne but were so happy to be back in the paddock after what felt like ages. 

“Like we discussed earlier in the month, you’ll be working with Oscar as his primary press officer. I’m sure you know what that entails and everything, not much has changed since Carlos was with the team, but if you have any questions you have my number.” Brenda smiles down at you as she hands you your new McLaren issued iPhone.  

Three weeks ago, you had graduated from NYU with a double degree in public relations and business management. One week later, you had accepted a job offer from McLaren to join the communications team working with Oscar. Between your dual degree and experience working in the paddock with your brother, the job had been a slam dunk for you.

“The boys are just finishing up some filming up stairs. Let’s go up and introduce you to Oscar. You already know Lando.” She says, with a bit of a smile. Your friendship with the Brit was well known back during the years you were still working with Carlos. No one knew how much it had changed since though. 

Nerves fluttered around in your stomach as you follow Brenda up to the second floor where you could hear Oscar and Lando loudly laughing at something. As far as you knew, Lando was unaware that you had taken a job with McLaren. You had asked Carlos and Charles to keep your new job quiet around the paddock, not wanting to create drama before it was necessary. This was certainly going to be a shock, you knew that. 

The last time you saw him flashes through your memory, quick and painful, as Brenda approaches where Oscar and Lando stand each holding dry erase boards. 

Early 2022

“What do you mean she doesn’t want me around?” You nearly laugh, the absurdity of what your best friend is telling you not fully computing. 

Lando grips the back of his neck, eyes looking everywhere but at you. “Our friendship makes her uncomfortable.” 

Now you really do laugh. “What friendship, Lan? I’ve barely seen you this year!” 

It was the truth. Ever since you had started classes in New York last year, your time to see your best friend had dwindled down into nearly nothing. You went to as many races as you could but going from spending nearly 24/7 with your brother and Lando to barely seeing them once every few months was more painful than you had anticipated. It hurt so much to watch him continue on, seemingly so unbothered by losing you, but this? This was the last straw. 

He had been dating the Portuguese model for a bit now and you had to admit, she was pretty and wonderfully nice. You truly had no issue with her, having met her once at a Grand Prix you had attended before classes had started this year. She was quiet, sweet, and obviously adored Lando so her being with him was fine with you. You wanted to see your best friend happy. But now? Now she was threatened by someone who wasn’t even a second thought in Lando’s head? 

You had spent the last few months desperately trying to believe that Lando wasn’t pulling away, that he wasn’t purposefully putting distance between you and him. Texts would go unanswered, calls went unreturned. You had chalked it up to him being busy and adjusting to having a new teammate but now you guess you had the truth: he was avoiding you. 

“If that’s what you want, I’ll respect your wishes.” You murmur, taking a step away, suddenly wanting nothing more than to retreat back into the Ferrari motorhome where you could nurse your embarrassment in peace. 

“It’s not…” Lando fumbles, but you know what he’s about to say isn’t true. This is exactly what he wants. 

“No, I get it Lan. She’s threatened by me. I respect that and I’ll make myself scarce this weekend. You and her won’t have to worry about me anymore.” 

The pain of your words slices through Lando. He hadn’t wanted to do this, far from it. But the fight that she had started last night when she had seen you in the pit lane laughing with Carlos and Charles had put him in a tight spot. You were his best friend, but she was his girlfriend. He owed her the respect, right? Even if he knew that nothing was going on, nothing could happen. It wasn’t in the cards for the two of you. 

“I’m sorry.” He says. 

“Me too, Lan.

You blink rapidly, erasing the painful memory from your brain as your boss steps towards Oscar and Lando, who are watching you approach. The look on Lando’s face sends your pulse skyrocketing. It’s a look that’s somewhere between surprise, confusion, and maybe even a bit of betrayal and you hate every bit of it. 

“Oscar, I wanted to introduce you to your new press officer. She just landed last night so I’m sure she’s a bit jet lagged but she insisted on getting to work straight away. She’ll be taking you around for media duties after FP2 today so be nice, okay?” 

“I’m always nice.” The Aussie says, soft smile on his lips. “It’s nice to meet you. Lando talks about you all the time.” 

Your eyes dart towards Lando, who is still somewhat glaring at you like he can’t believe you’re in front of him. He talks about you? Still? Your stomach does an involuntary somersault at this bit of information, blush creeping its way high up on your cheek bones. 

The phone in your hand chimes with a reminder. Oscar is due to an Australian media outlet in ten minutes for an interview. “Well, that’s my cue.” You turn to the girl that had been filming the segment with a friendly smile. “Is he good to go?” 

“He’s all yours!” 

With permission to leave, you turn on your heel and walk towards the staircase, Oscar in tow. Lando watches after you, still struggling to process what just happened. You worked for McLaren now? As Oscar’s press officer? He had just played padel with Carlos this fucking morning and he hadn’t said a single word about this. Surly Carlos had known about your taking the job so why hadn’t he told him? Did you not want him to know? Did you hate him so much that you didn’t even care if he knew or not? How had the most important person in his life become someone he just used to know once? 

That last fight before he…said some of the the most shameful thing he’s ever said flashes through his mind as he wanders down to his drivers room, suddenly needing a break. 

“You literally never shut up about her. ‘She does this.’ And ‘she does that’. Jesus Christ, Lando you could not be more obvious about it.” The anger in her voice had set his teeth on edge. “And now I have to sit and watch the, what did they call you guys? The Chaos Gremlins? Now I have to sit and watch The Chaos Gremlins be reunited for the entire fucking weekend and just sit back and take it?” 

“There is nothing going on between us.” Lando insists, running his hands through his curls. “I haven’t seen her in months. Months!” 

“But there would be if she was here, right?” 

He had no answer for her. Because she was probably right in her assumption. If you had stayed, Lando had no idea what would’ve happened. 

“It’s her or me, Lando.” 

The rest of the day passes in what feels like the blink of an eye. By the time Oscar is done with all of his interviews at the end of the evening, you feel dead on your feet. You’ve lost all sense of time, feeling like you’ve been hit with a truck and you want nothing more than to get back to your hotel room and sleep for the next 5 to 10 business days. Or the last free practice tomorrow afternoon. 

The Uber to the hotel takes far too long but just as your eyes are about to shutter closed in the back seat, you arrive and drag your near lifeless body up to your room. A quick shower is all you have the energy for, desperately needing to get the germs of the day off and then, you’re in bed, blissfully tucked between soft white cotton sheets watching some weird Australian soap opera. 

Your eyes are heavy when the alert dings and you nearly ignore it, assuming it’s Carlos checking in. He could wait until you saw him tomorrow. But a quick glance shows you it isn’t Carlos. 

You don’t fully understand why you gave him your room number. Not when the only thing on your mind is going to sleep. This is probably a really bad time to have such an important conversation too but a part of you, that part of you that never stopped hoping that maybe one day your best friend would come back to you, that part of you wanted to get this out of the way so you could move on, with or without him. 

Ten minutes later, there’s a soft knock on the door and you haul yourself out of bed, still bone numbingly tired but also strangely keyed up with nervous energy. This would be the first time you had really spoken to Lando since that night two years ago. Sure, you two had exchanged pleasantries when you found yourself in the paddock for a race weekend but most of the time you kept to yourself in the Ferrari garage and motorhome, making sure your presence wasn’t noticed by anyone outside of your brother and Charles. 

Tugging on your favorite NYU crewneck, you pad towards the door while willing your racing heart beat to slow. This is fine. This is going to be okay. You two needed to talk if you were going to be working closely this year so this had to happen sooner or later. 

The door swings open and Lando stands in front of you looking just as exhausted and devastated as you feel. 

“Hi.” He breathes, hands wringing together. 

“Hi Lan.” You sigh. 

His smile widens at the nickname and you open the door a bit wider to allow him in. You cross the room, settling on the king size bed before staring up at him. “You wanted to talk?” 

The pain in his eyes cuts such a deep slice through you, it’s a wonder you don’t start bleeding out on the bedspread. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” He crosses the room towards you, setting every nerve ending in your body firing. He’s too close and you can’t control yourself when he’s like this. 

You shrug, wondering how you’re still able to hold yourself together at this point. “I didn’t think you’d care.” 

Lando drops his gaze away from you then, shame and anger surging across his handsome features. “Of course I’d care.” 

“You didn’t when you chose her over me.” 

He drags a hand over his face, the look of misery that sits on his face is reminiscent of the night you told him you were moving to New York City all those years ago. The memory brings a surge of white hot pain that cuts you so deeply it steals the breath from your lungs. If you had known that this was where you’d end up, you didn’t know if you would have made the same decision. 

“And listen, that was fine, I guess. You had to respect your relationship with her but the most confusing thing was afterwards. Why the radio silence after?” You fold your hands into your lap, unable to meet the gaze that you feel so heavy on your skin. He’s practically begging you to look at him but you simply can’t. 

“I was ashamed.” He admits and you feel the tears prick at the back of your eyes, a hot and painful sting that reminds you of how much you’ve lost. “I was ashamed at how I treated you and couldn’t face it.” 

“Rightfully so.” You mutter, rolling your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs while reaching for your hand. “I’m so sorry for how I treated you. I should have told her to fuck off for making me choose between her and you. I should have chosen my best friend and I’ve regretted that decision every day of my life since.” 

The fact that you’re finally hearing the words you’ve been dreaming of hearing for nearly two years hits you like a ton of bricks. Here he was, your best friend, finally apologizing and owning up to his mistakes and for some reason, it felt like it was all just too little too late. How many nights had you stayed up, sobbing on your living room couch with your roommates over the stupid boy who was mean to you? Wondering what you had done to make him treat you like this? Hadn’t your friendship meant more than what it had ended up being? 

And now, here you were, back in his orbit again and it just…didn’t matter. You had spent so many nights wishing this would come and now that he was finally taking responsibility and owning up to his actions, it just didn’t feel like it was enough. 

“I think you should go.” 

“What?” He stutters, fingers gripping yours almost desperately. 

“I am exhausted and need some time to process this Lando. And you have quali tomorrow, you need to be focusing on racing, not on our issues.” 

“I don’t give a fuck about racing.” He bites out, blue eyes turning stormy gray with anger. “I want to fix this.” 

“This isn’t something that can be fixed with a single conversation.” 

You didn’t even know if it could be fixed at all, if you were being honest with yourself. 

“Then I’ll keep going until it is fixed, I promise.” 

“Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep, Lando.” You warn, rising from the bed. “I need to get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Lando feels like his heart is being ripped from his chest. He had never intended for your friendship to end up like this. It just…slipped away from him and he was so swept away by his lifestyle the last year that he convinced himself you were both better off where you were instead of together like the universe intended. He had been so scared to admit how wrong he had been, choosing her over you that night that he had allowed it to spiral so out of control it might never come back to him. You might never come back to him. 

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