#let me have my skibidi toilet!

[atalienart]

Let fantasy worlds have plumbing! Let them have chocolate!

[milkstoner]

I don't have an insta 😔

I do have to respect that honestly.

[mcmansionhell]

pre-recession, post-taste

Hello, everyone. I hope this blog can bring some well-needed laughs in really trying times. That's why I've gone back into the archives of that precipitous year 2007, a year where the McMansion was sleepwalking into being a symbol of the financial calamity to follow. We return to the Chicago suburbs once more because they remain the highest concentration of houses in their original conditions. Thanks to our flipping predilection, these houses become rarer and rarer and I have to admit even I have developed a fondness for them as a result.

Our present house is ostensibly "French Provincial" in style, which is McMansion for "Chateaux designed by Carmela Soprano". It boasts 7 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms, and comes in at a completely reasonable 15,000 square feet. It can be yours for an equally reasonable $1.5 million.

Every 2007 McMansion needed two things: a plethora of sitting rooms and those dark wood floors. This house actually has around five or six sitting rooms (depending if you count the tiled sunroom) but for brevity's sake, I'll only provide two of them.

With regards to the second sitting room, I'm really not one to talk statuary here because beside me there is a bust of Dante where the sculptor made him look simultaneously sickly and lowkey hot.

Technically, if we are devising a dichotomy between sitting and not sitting (yes, I know about the song), the dining room also counts as a sitting room. The more chairs in your McMansion dining room, the more people allegedly like you enough to travel 2.5 hours in traffic to see you twice a year.

Here's the thing about nostalgia: the world as we knew it then is never coming back. In some ways this is sad (kitchens are entirely white now and marble countertops will look terrible in about 3 years) but in other ways this is very good (guys in manhattan have switched to private equity instead of betting the farm on credit default swaps made from junk mortgages proffered to America's most vulnerable and exploited populations.) Progress!

Okay I really don't understand the 50 bed pillows thing. Every night my parents tossed their gazillion decorative pillows on the floor just to put them back on the bed the next morning. Like, for WHAT? Who was going in there? The Pope?

Here's a fun one for your liminal spaces moodboards. (Speaking for myself.)

Yes, I know about skibidi toilet. And sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler. I wish I didn't. I wish I couldn't read. Literacy is like a mirror in which I only see the aging contours of my face.

When your kids move out every room becomes a guest room.

Anyway, let's see what the rear of this house has to offer.

The migratory birds will not forgive them for their crimes. But also seriously, not even a garden?

Anyway, that does it for this round of McMansion Hell. Happy Halloween!

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[incorrectbatfam]

I need unhinged gen alpha Damian with the fam

Dick: *spills his cereal*

Damian: Womp womp.

———————

Jason: *lights a cigarette*

Damian: You smell like you're being cremated.

Jason:

Jason: *puts it out*

———————

Damian: I'm done with my part of our mission report.

Tim: That was fast. Let me see.

Tim: *reads it*

Tim: Did you write it with an AI? Damian, I know you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself.

Damian: But Jon's Twitch stream is about to start.

Tim: I don't care, I'm telling Bruce.

Damian: Not if I do it first. FATHER, DRAKE WROTE HIS MISSION REPORT WITH AI!

———————

Duke: Remember Subway Surfers?

Damian: Remember when your bones were silent?

———————

Steph: *eating a burger*

Damian: All mammals are related to a common ancestor on the evolutionary tree so eating meat is basically cannibalism.

Steph: *takes out a paper bag*

Steph: *puts it over Damian's head*

Steph: *continues eating*

———————

Cass: I need cash.

Damian: Imagine using paper currency in 2024, couldn't be me.

———————

Barbara: I'm undergoing routine security checks. Can I get your computer?

Damian: *hands her his iPad*

Barbara: ...You don't have a PC?

Damian: What do I need that for?

———————

Kate: *enters*

Damian: Is it just me or did it suddenly get geriatric in here?

———————

Alfred: Master Damian, could you kindly enlighten me on what this "Skibidi Toilet" the children are talking about is?

Damian: *pulls up a slideshow with the full lore*

Damian: You may want to sit down.

———————

Selina: *doing her makeup*

Damian: What's your skincare routine? My friend Maya wants it.

Selina: Come back in eight years and I'll tell you.

———————

Gala guests: *milling around*

Damian: You must be my father's NPCs.

Bruce: I apologize about my son.

Bruce: *drags Damian away*

[fangirltothefullest]

I finally looked up what the fuck skibbidi toilet is because my students would not stop talking about it but they also NEVER would explain it

I would NEVER in a million years have expected it to turn into.... whatever the cinematic marvel of hell and theater level explosions that was. Like it's genuinely fascinating to watch the level of animation skill increase as the story proceeds. Because yes, there is a story, don't let the first fucking nonsense toilet horror fool you.

Mad respect actually that I went from "what the fuck is this, it's basically lol random silliness" to being absolutely engrossed in who wins this catastrophic war.

Now... my 9 year olds should NOT have been watching it. It's full of blood and violence and scary fucking faces ok? The toilet faces are frightening as hell.

BUT if you are like me and have been scared to ask and scared to look it up..... Skibidi Toilet is a series of like 75 short films (yes films, and it might not even be finished????) that starts out as a crack vid and ends up transforming into a VERY well done animated war between this race of toilet dwelling people singing the song while invading the planet and being fought off by a race of human-created camera, tv and speaker people fighting for their damned lives to defeat the invasion. I cannot stress enough that there are some battles that ABSOLUTELY look like it was made by a Hollywood animation department. There's epic fight scenes, terrors of war, giant amazing robot people, and you're watching always through the lens of a camera, which is fascinating.

Also the big TV does the :3 face all the time.

SERIOUSLY wild and crazy that THIS is what skibidi toilet is about.

There's a reason it has it's own wiki. Camera Titan my beloved.

[hatsheep]

CALL OF DUTY ; TASKFORCE 141 and DAD TIKTOK TRENDS

Note. these aren’t meant to be serious!! this is gn reader (with only one mention of daughter) and meant to be silly. this also isn’t my writing acc but if u guys have a request for platonic tf 141 content go shoot.

CAPTAIN john price

- you sent him many tiktoks and reels, which he always begrudgingly watched during his deployment (mostly because he did miss you)

- he always sends back questions since he dosent understand some slang

- “yap???” “i’m sorry, what does cap mean?”

- when hes home, he was happy to help video you when you were out or when you wanted to do a trend

- but making HIM do a trend?

- it took you forever to convince your dad to do so…but it was worth it

- he would do trends like the “dad lore trend” with him being videoed in x2 speed as he pretended to talk

- “pov: your dad drops the craziest lore on a random tuesday” because he really genuinely does

- or the home depot one…

- “my dad when he sees someone fixing an airplane when we’re about to board our flight” and it’s just him with his hands behind his back or crossed while he watches the repairmen.

- in the end, he enjoys doing these trends with you. but god, if you keep on trying to prank him, he’s actually going to go crazy.

- everyone thinks he’s hot by the way. you have like 50 single/divorced moms in your comment section commenting about him every tiktok he’s in. sometimes people your age.

- “honey, what does beekeeping age mean?”

LIEUTENANT simon “ghost” riley

- you send him many tiktoks that contain silly puns. he on the other hand, only uses reels. either way, he sends you the dumb ones

- or the ones that are like

- “when your teenager is driving and narrowly avoids a tragic accident” or “me i ask my teenager who they’re going out with and it’s still the same group of people since middle school”

- as a dad, he’s honestly very protective over you, but he’s loosened up a bit over the years. he dosent want to be too strict, nor does he want to be too lax.

- he was terrified of becoming like his father.

- either way, if you thought you had to beg price to let you make tiktoks, you’d have to beg hard for your dad to

- simon won’t let you take tiktoks with his face in it, so he’s always his chest and below….or a mask, sunglasses, and a cap.

- surprisingly sentimental! the one tiktok he agreed to was

- “do i always have to kill spiders in your room?” “ofcourse you do, you’re my dad!”

- he teared up a bit

SERGEANT john “soap” mactavish

- boy, he loves doing tiktoks with you

- he loves sending them too!! a nice way for you guys to bond while he’s away is him sending you the really stupid tiktoks that the people of your generation would more commonly send

- he DOES now some slang! he….does NOT know some others though, skibidi toilet confuses him slightly

- he took the sigma male thing seriously for a bit because he thought it was a positive thing. he loves protecting his family and being strong

- sadly stopped when you broke the news to him that it was in fact, maybe not the best thing in real life.

- either way, such a good dad to do tiktoks with

- you can do those really silly ones with the tiktoks audios

- “when my dad finds out i get offended when people say i have my dads accent” with the regina george soundtrack

- “regina wait i didnt mean for that to happen!!” “do you know what everyone says about you?!?!”

- he loves doing them with you, he wouldn’t trade quality time with you for the world

- “be honest, do you really not like the accent????”

SERGEANT kyle “gaz” garrick

- more of a calm dad, but like simon, surprisingly sentimental

- he’s the one from the 141 who’s has the most morality issues, especially doing his job, so he always felt it was best to teach you important values

- he’s drilled into you to never change your ideals for others

- …which leads to him sending motivational quotes or those hopecore videos

- either way, he actually can be pretty silly and he’s the type of dad to get you watermelon every other day for the rest of your life if you say you like it once

- he can be a little blunt with you sometimes though, bless him

- “pov: my dad if he didn’t have me” (i’ll put my helipad over there…my olympic sized swimming pool, OVER THERE!!)

- you do these tiktoks with him (disregard gender because no matter what, he’d make you help)

- this is how poc parents be, pls understand

- you sent him this reel while he was on deployment and he couldn’t stop smiling

- “love you too, pumpkin. remember to take out the dishes”

- “did u have to remind me”

[xokohaneazusawa]

hello i have a bllk request!

can i request isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, kuni, the itoshi brothers and barou with a socially awkward gf/crush who (kinda) hates kids?

like reader doesn’t HATE hate kids, but is like scared of them. kids are actually scary especially gen alpha 💀. how tf are these little gremlins watching skibidi toilet with a straight face just a short clip of it literally made me and my friends so uncomfortable we couldn’t continue 💀.

so more like she can watch kids from afar, and if she saw one in public, she wouldn’t throw a rock at it or call animal control. but talking to them? interacting with them?? HELL NO SHE CANT DO THAT.

it’s kinda like how we see zoo animals. best admired from afar, and if she ever gets stuck in an empty room with them, she’s screwed. as if talking to adults and teenagers wasn’t scary enough, their school just had to pick an orphanage/children’s hospital to volunteer at. she’s hiding in the corner watching her bf/crush deal with the like 7-year olds (maybe younger, who btw, were most likely bullying her just now.) wondering why and how people could stand those little gremlins.

(better still, if they go back to his place after the school volunteering activity and his parent(s)/sister jokingly mention grandkids/nieces/nephews and she’s like “ew i hate kids” or smth like that, but maybe more discreet idk how to tell even my own parents i hate children, let alone my (nonexistent) bf’s parents 💀)

once again it’s not that she actually hates kids, but sees them as a different species and can’t deal with them because they scare her, and sometimes bully her. 💀

ik you probably have a lot of requests but i kinda need SOME way to overcome my crippling fear of children.

i hope you like this idea tho and i really love your writing 🫶🫶🫶

Ngl this is actually so me, I love this idea so much- But the best part is the fact that I actually worked with kids for almost 2 years, and my friends club has us interacting with kids too... (I tried to do most of the characters but I had no ideas for some of them, but you can always re-request with the ones that I missed and the second I think of some ideas I'll def write it!!)

Isagi Yoichi -> Do we not remember when that one kid stopped him after the u-20 match.. Bro is good with kids, so luckily he can save you

-> He will slightly chuckle at you when you show up to this place where the children (gremlins) are at you slightly freak out, and he will laugh at you even more when your awkwardly standing in the corner because your way to freaked out to actually go talk to any of these kids

-> Has to keep reminding the kids not to laugh at you, and that your just not the best socially

-> Eventually tries to find you one of those kids who are also standing away from everybody else for you to interact with, both of y’all have something in common, you hate the other kids!

-> He will very much get confused on this skibidi toilet bullshit (who isn’t, tbh-) but he’ll sit through it so they can be entertained while he tries to make sure that your still alive in the corner

-> If you actually started talking to the kid that he sent your way he’ll be kinda proud, I mean obviously it’s not the other 10 kids he has with him, but it’s a step in the right direction!

-> If not he gets it, I mean what he’s watching with them right now is downright terrifying, so why wouldn’t the minds who consume it also be terrifying

-> Later on when you two finally end up heading back to his house he tells his parents about how you two were volunteering with children and when they offhandedly mention that it would be nice to have grandchildren in the future he can only laugh.

“Yeah.. Unless I can get (Name) to stop hiding in a corner when they see a child then maybe..”

Reo Mikage

-> He grew up as an only child and I’m assuming he didn’t have a bunch of friends when he was growing up so I don’t think he would be the absolute best with kids, but still better than others

-> The kids will be a little confused when he starts trying to teach them about business and economics saying that this was the age he started learning about running a business

-> They might end up gravitating towards you since you’re just kinda confused along with them, trying to explain to him not every kid grew up with their future of running a family company.

-> Will totally laugh when he sees how freaked out you are with these little (gremlins) kids trying to get your attention and asking if your any more fun than Mr.Business (Which they had nicknamed Reo) -> Will eventually learn and get them to leave you alone, after almost 10 minutes of you trying to hide behind him or anywhere else in this room so they can’t talk to you

-> Ends up helping them instead with other things like reading and math stuff, not the brain rot of skibidi toilet (thank god)

-> That night you two had ended up going out to dinner with his parents as they wanted to have a nice sit down meal while they talked about what was possibly coming up in the future, including your future with Reo, and kids. He smiled and took your hand in his.

“After today, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about an heir to the Mikage Corp for quite a while of time”

Kunigami Rensuke

-> BRO HAS TWO SISTERS, One older and one younger, Man knows his way around kids, for sure. I take no criticism on this.

-> Is actually so good with kids, you now are speculating that he’s actually a single teen dad with like 2 kids or something that he just hasn’t told you about. He’s that good (it’s actually scary)

-> He will not let them watch skibidi toilet, another man who is respectable and makes sure they are doing educational stuff

-> Also makes sure they stay away from you for the most part, just because he knows that you don’t like having all those kids near you, but he may or may not send one over your way that he thinks that you’ll actually get along with

-> He wants to see what you would be like if you actually interacted with a kid, it’s his future brain thinking

-> That also brings up to the day that his parents (and his sisters) have asked you both about having children in the future, he would just chuckle and ruffle your hair a little

“Unless I would be the only one communicating with the little one then I don’t see us having kids for quite a bit of time.”

Sae Itoshi

-> Worst person to have around kids. I mean did you see how he treated his own little brother, smh. (DROP WHAT HAPPENED IN SPAIN, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS)

-> Does not know how to act around kids, just basically lets them do whatever as long as they aren’t bothering the two of you

-> To bad kids don’t listen all that well and he basically has to keep glaring at them from where he is sat at the only bigger table in the room with you, because these kids keep trying to get your attention since they know Sae isn’t gonna give them anything, which sucks for you

-> Attempts to try something once he realizes that you're actually pretty horrible with kids, let's just say the soccer he tried to play with them didn’t go all that well.. And you may or may not have had to get over your fear a little since a bunch of crying kids kept coming over to you

-> To which he figured that this wasn’t the way to go about it so he just put on some random movie he remembers from when he was a kid, too bad it was one of the ones from his flight to Spain when he was younger and it was all in Spanish. (It’s okay, they had fun trying to figure out what the hell it said, and it kept them entertained for quite a bit of time.)

-> Once the whole future and children conversation came up with his parents, he could only roll his eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks. (Name) and I couldn’t handle one of those gremlins, even if it looked or acted like us.”

[andreabandrea]

i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.

i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.

i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.

even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.

your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.

if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.

and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.

yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.

on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children

[shrimshrim4fun]

BRO I WAS MAD BC I MISSED THE SINNERS GENZ SLANG SERIES, like legit I just found out, I haven’t been really active 💔💔💔😔

Pookie can you pls do part 3 for Zoya, Cinnabar, Angell, and Rahu pls with a cherry on top 🙏🙏🙏

Have a good day 🤎 o . <

No problem, I gotchu >< I’ve seen you haven’t been too active but I’m glad you found out :)

Sinners Reacting to you Using GenZ Slang Pt3:

Zoya:

-Probably also says some slang. But mostly over text. Doesn’t really say it in front of other people

-Horo accidentally started to know about slang and started to call Zoya “the goat” she got a smack over the head due to the others starting to call her that

-When she picks you up from anything she’ll be like “Your alphas here, baby” And will laugh if you get embarrassed

Cinnabar:

-Another one that doesn’t get it. Gets very confused when you start using these words around her. “Sorry to interrupt, but what are those words you’re using?”

-Even after your explanation….she didn’t really get it. So she started to search it up online. It didn’t prove much use but little by little she pieced it together well not really she still doesn’t really get jt

-She’ll sometimes let out a small chuckle if you use it around her. “You’re my sigma” she once told you with a genuine smile.

Angell:

-Very curious about what you’re saying. “What does that mean?” She asks after some time of you continuing to say it

-She listens intently as you explain to her though she doesn’t really get it she’s too lazy to search it up online

-Only use your so called slang when she deemed necessary. Due to her thinking it’s words to express feelings that are beyond her comprehension. When you rant about her mess in her bedroom when she’s laying on her bed she mumble “That’s not sigma at all”

-Sometimes she’ll just sit there and think. “Do you think I’m your skibidi toilet sigma alpha that’s looks maxxing?” It leaves you speechless as she looks at you with a slight tilt of her head and a blank expression

Rahu:

-Also confused. Though she just goes along with it. “What does that even mean?” She asks after like half a month.

-Still doesn’t get it after your explanation but will ask every time you say those words. “What is skibidi toilet?” She’ll continue asking until one day you tell to stop

-Once after you told her to do something she told you “I’m done what else do you want me to do, sigma?” She got confused because she thought that’s how you do it but you told her it is but her face is too stoic

Side note: I also updated my introduction thingy for my page so you can go look at that if you have any thirsts, drabbles, or requests you want to ask.

[moldingtundra]

Explanation for my unpleasant gradient and infected dynamic headcanon!

Ok let’s get one thing out of the way:

I headcannon that unpleasant gradient is infected/kaspers ADOPTIVE father

if that makes you uncomfortable, no worries! Simply ignore it or ask me to tag just in case.

now for the people actually interested in why I headcannon as such, I’ll explain in this blog! So strap in for my ramblings lol.

WHY? AND HOW?

ok let’s get the obvious out of the way:

Unpleasant always appears from infecteds apartment. And ONLY infecteds apartment. Nothing else.

which is obviously weird. I know that other npc’s only spawn from one place (i.e infected from his own apartment or pest from the subway) but this almost always correlates with their lore in some way. If unpleasant had spawned somewhere else then it wouldn’t be such a big deal but this MAJOR evidence for my headcannon.

of course he could just be a really annoying roommate but I’ll explain this in my next point-

-which is THIS:

Litteraly who the fuck follows their “roommate” around once they get an injury, you wouldn’t do that type of stuff unless….

It’s your child.

yeah that’s right, I believe that unpleasant is actually just a worried dad. Which explains why it always follows infected around and why it has such close correlation.

on top of that there’s infecteds skateboard, who the hell gets a skateboard directly based off of their supposed roommate? Unless of course. Infected actually looked up to unpleasant and based his skateboard off of it.

“BuT kEvIn WhAt aBoUt ThIs!?!?1!1?”

I honestly have no idea what to say of this. I’ll be honest lmao. But I’m guessing it’s probably the fact that it’s just teenage angst and/or him hating on unpleasant because he’s technically not his “real” dad.

“bUt ErM kEvIn wHy WoUlD hE eAt HiS CaT tHeN ☝🏼🤓”

Because erm actually anon there’s 0 fucking evidence he ate the fuckass cat there’s only speculation and coincidences who the hell knows maybe it’s KASPER himself (I actually headcannon that but it’s a topic for another time)

ok now that I’ve THOSE out of the way it’s time for general headcannons!! ^_^

General headcannons + ramblings!

number one! Since unpleasant is pretty much fixated on ‘cringe’ things (skibidi toilet and unfunny 2020’s jokes) it could play a factor on why infected dosent like having him around, he’s chill. But he’s basically the embodiment of embarrassment. Whether that’d be through his habits (nose-picking, messy eating, etc.) or his humor (as stated before) he’s pretty much the dad that embarrasses you wherever you go.

on top of that, the difference and the opposite nature of both infected and unpleasant makes it quite hard for anyone to really think they’re even partially related. Which is why infected takes advantage of the fact that he can say he’s a “creep” / stalker and anyone can believe him.

However despite their difference in nature. Unpleasant and infected are actually not all that awfully different. They’re both mentally stuck in a period of time (2010 with infected, 2020’s with unpleasant) and they’re both ‘cringe’ in their own respective ways. So despite their opposing beliefs and humor, they’re actually not all that different.

this and unpleasant would be the type of ‘protective and nosey’ dad. Constantly trying to see what is up with his adoptive son while also trying to protect him ever since he got the infection. To which infected retaliates and pushes it further, thinking he deserves to live his life the way he sees fit. Even if it means getting in trouble sometimes. Which is probably why no one is comfortable with unpleasant, it only suspects everybody.

Anddd that’s all! I think- But man that was a woozy to write- I hope you all like it! Who knows if this does well I might write more of my headcannons! For now though I’m gonna log off for the evening- Bye bye!

[apollo-god-of-prophecy]

how did you get infected by the gen alpha virus.

I have a gen alpha child. My toddler is very into skibidi toilet right now (don’t let her mother find out, otherwise my wife will murder me for letting Posey watch that) so I got infected through her

[lensman-arms-race]

Period comfort headcanons

It's that time of the month for me, so all I want is to stay in bed and be plied with treats and heating pads. Under a cut because thinking about ovarygravy isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Plunk: Offers to plunge the cuntgunk out of you to get it all over with. He's very confused but he's got the spirit.

Assassin Speakerman: Doesn't know what periods are, is horrified when you try to explain. Thinks you're having a medical emergency and calls for help. You have to explain to paramedics that you're fine, really.

Sabre: "That's none of my business." Your condition does nothing to change his belief that humans are poorly-designed, but he's polite enough to not say that to your face. ('Polite' in the sense that it would be strategic to not antagonise you, not in the sense that he particularly cares about sparing your feelings.)

Camera Matriarch: Doesn't really understand what's happening to you, but understands that you're in pain and offers you a hug.

Speaker Matriarch: The sweetest of the Matriarchs about it. Brings you a heating pad.

Scientist Toilet: "I think I've got some codeine in here, help yourself. I think it's codeine, anyway... Hey, do you want a hysterectomy? I'll do it for free if I can keep the eggs." If you accept, prepare to see swarms of parasites with your face.

TV Matriarch: Offers some screen hypnosis to distract you from the pain.

Titans: If the Titans are in their hangars and not needed for missions any time soon, TCam will let you hide and rest in his pocket where it's warm and dark and cosy. TSpeaker will offer the same, and also to let you rest on one of his speakers and enjoy some soothing vibrations. TTv will let you lie in his core chamber, so that if you ooze you can hose it clean.

Lady Mutant Toilet: "Here, you might as well have my stash of twat hammocks. I don't need them now I have a robo-pussy." Will give you some chocolate from her stash if she likes you enough.

DJ Skibidi: Is the sweetest. Gives you all the blankets, chocolate, heating pads, etc.

Buzzsaw Mutant Toilet: Gives you some pineapple, because he knows there's some connection between pineapple and pussy juice. Offers you paracetamol (instead of ibuprofen) - he's trying to be helpful but doesn't know much.

Swat Mutant Toilet: Just like DJ Skibidi. Is terrific about it.

Rambo Mutant Toilet: Pretends to be uncaring but actually does feel sorry for you.

G-Toilet: Is sympathetic to your suffering but has no idea why you would expect him to do anything about it.

[angelicribbons]

Agere reader who is obsessed with watching youtube videos on their tablet, and a concerned Alastor/Vox/Adam makes reader take a break from electronics?

I hope im not sending too many requests at one time 😭 apologies if i am! <3

Never!! I adore these<3 reader is watching those content farms with like Skibidi toilet, Huggy Wuggy, TADC, etc. LOL

Alastor-

After much begging, Alastor had caved and gotten you a tablet. Not VoxTek, of course, although it was hard to find one that wasn’t. He regretted it instantly after a week. That was all you did! It was getting tiring trying to get you to sleep without the damned thing! When it’d been dinner time, today though, he was over it. You hadn’t even touched your food, too busy watching.. what was it you said? YouTube? A silly name for such a thing, but you acted as if you weren’t able to live without the contraption! Alastor sighed, and plucked the device from the dinner table. You immediately whined and reached for it. “No, absolutely not, little one! You have been glued to this thing ever since you got it. No tablet, or any dumb device for that matter, at dinner time. Am I clear, darling?” You keep wordlessly protesting, only letting out whines and shuffling in your booster seat. “I asked a question, you’re big enough to answer it, little love.” You simply pouted and rolled your eyes. Alastor took a deep breath, and threw the tablet onto one of the chairs. “Do I need to repeat myself?” You grumbled. “Ok..” You mumbled. “Thank you. Now eat your food, you were worrying me, fawn..” He took a spoonful of the jambalaya and put it up to your mouth. You opened and graciously accepted the bite, swallowing the dish happily. You had finished pretty quickly “There.. that wasn’t so hard to eat dinner without that frivolous technology shoved in your face, now was it?” He lifted you from your seat and took you to the bedroom, leaving the tablet behind. You squirmed and whined for the stupid thing. Alastor’s smile twitched. “That old thing, really? Please, darling. Give it a rest. You will be fine without it.” Your whining persisted throughout the attempt to soothe you. “My dear,” He begun slowly, getting a little fed up with your attitude. “While I’d rather shatter that thing to pieces, I’m just going to give you a break without it. A week without that tablet, alright? I will be limiting the time you spend on it when you get it back.” You were disappointed, but agreed because you knew Alastor wouldn’t negotiate. “Good, now come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Vox-

Vox was such a suck up for you, so of course all you had to do was ask nicely and you’d get a tablet. He figured it’d keep you busy for the times he couldn’t be there for you. But.. it was getting bothersome how much you were on it. Occasionally, he’d check your screen time. Your most often average was fifteen hours. FIFTEEN. Usually, he wouldn’t be as bothered as he was, but you’d started choosing the fucking tablet over HIM. On his breaks, he went to your room immediately, usually met with a hug and an ask to play, cuddle, talk, etc.. but now? He was barely even noticed when he went into your room. And when asked if you wanted to do anything.. you pointed to the tablet. There was no fucking way he was being replaced with his own product. When he went in your room today, he took the tablet from your hands immediately. Met with whines obviously, but he immediately went to your watch history. “Baby doll, what in all of the rings of Hell have you been watching that’s more important than spending time with me?” When he saw the videos, he blinked. ….Yeah no, the tablet was a bad idea. No more tablet. At least- no more YouTube. He sat the device away from you and picked you up when you tried to grab it. “Ah ah. You aren’t having your tablet today. I’m gonna set a screen time limit tomorrow. We are going to hang out, and I’m gonna show you how much better I am then that fucking brain rot. Come on, sweet thing.” Despite your pouts and attempts to stay annoyed, you had a really fun time! You went to the park, went shopping, and watched the bright red sky darken into a pretty maroon! (why do I kinda wanna write a separate thing for that full scene where you and Vox hang out 🥺 aghhhh would be SO ADORABLE)

Adam-

Adam had an unreasonable amount of heaven bucks, so why not get ya something to keep you entertained during meetings? (And maybe keep himself entertained too if you were watching something cool) What he didn’t expect, was your attachment to it. At some point, he was curious. He took your tablet while you were napping and looked at the stuff you were watching. What.. in all of heavens holy fucking gates, was Skibidi Toilet? And why did you watch so much of it? And why was some short weird ass jester girl PREGNANT with a TOILET’S kid?! He felt like his brain (if he still had one?) was melting more and more by the second just looking at the thumbnails. Yeahhh.. he was gonna put this away. For a while. When you woke up, you immediately noticed your tablet gone. You scurried to Dad’s room to try and get him to help find it, opening the door with a slam, waking him up quickly “Ugh! Fuck, kiddo- what’s wrong? You doin’ good?” You noticed the device in his hand and tried to grab it. He pulled away. “Yeah, no, sugar. There’s some weird ass shit you’re watching and I’m not letting you rot your brain with it.” You immediately opened your mouth to whine but he put his hand over your mouth. “No more a’ that crappy content and I’ll let you keep it. Deal?” You nodded. “Oh yeah, and you aren’t having it for ehhh..three days. Good?” You wanted to protest, but.. he wouldn’t budge about it. You grumbled and reluctantly nodded. “Aight, that’s good.” He ruffled your hair. “Let’s go get breakfast!!” Adam said excitedly, carrying you to his favorite buffet.

Oh my gosh this took longer than I thought it would!! (Note: Alastor was the only one who didn’t see the brainrot that reader was watching because he didn’t know how to work the device- ) I had so much fun with this prompt<3

[incorrectbatfam]

BatFam at bring your kids to work day across the years at Wayne Industries.

8-year-old Dick: Wow, this place is huge!

Bruce: That's right, chum. My office is on the top floor.

Dick: Race you up!

Bruce: We can take the eleva—

Dick: Too late! Last one there's a rotten egg.

———————

13-year-old Bette: So this is where our family's money comes from?

Bruce, still a new CEO: I guess?

———————

Bruce: And this is our robotics research lab where your dad is spearheading an experimental space pod project.

Young Luke: Cool! Can I try?

Bruce: I'm afraid you need to be a little older. And a LOT more covered under our insurance.

———————

Bruce: This meeting might take a while. Think you can entertain yourself, Jaylad?

12-year-old Jason: Sure.

[an hour later]

Bruce: Where's Jason?

Lucius: Reading the company directory.

Jason: Hey, a book's a book.

———————

Bruce: This is the lobby, where you'll be waiting until Alfred picks you up. I have a conference call so tell my secretary if you need anything.

14-year-old Tim: M'kay.

Bruce: *leaves*

Tim: *moves an end table in front of the elevators and prints out tickets*

Employee: Pardon me, just coming through.

Tim: Admission is five dollars.

———————

16-year-old Steph: You guys have a soft serve machine?!?

Bruce: TWO soft-serve machines.

Steph, shoving through: Move aside, people!

———————

Bruce: This vending machine always gets stuck so you have to hit it a couple times.

Cass: *roundhouse kicks through the glass*

———————

Duke: *on his phone*

Bruce: So... anything interesting at school?

Duke, still on his phone: Nope.

Bruce: Oh, okay. Well my job is a lot of spreadsheets and signatures. I'm waiting for Lucius to get back to me on one.

Duke: *laughs at his phone*

Bruce: I didn't realize paperwork was so funny.

Bruce: *glances over at Duke's phone*

Bruce: What the hell is Skibidi Toilet?

———————

Barbara: Thanks for letting me borrow your Wi-Fi.

Bruce: Of course. The guest bandwidth gets a little overloaded sometimes so you can use my employee login. The password is "clarkdaddy."

Barbara: ...It could use some numbers.

———————

Damian: You run an impressive operation, Father. I look forward to inheriting it.

Bruce: That's the spirit. Just a few more years of school and I can show you the ropes.

Damian: However, as impressive as it is, I identified several key weaknesses that will be your downfall if unaddressed. Firstly, I do not appreciate sharing a restroom with the general public. Secondly—

[luxiguess]

Skibidi toilet x reader x part 2 The enddnjsjnjkdjs

I CAN SAY ALL OF THE SLURS IN THIS DONT CANCLE ME PLEASE !!!!!!!!!

“Your WHAT??” reigen exclaims. “Yeah sorry... I’m just not to fond of gay people...” They both look at me in disbelief. Almost like they have seen a ghost. Then we hear Skibidi toilet break down the door. “I AGREE!!! GAY PEOPLE SHOULD BURN IN HELL” Skibidi toilet exclaims. Reigen and Sans sob while holding each other tight as we continue to yell and harass them. “I HATE FAGGOTS!!” skibidi says. “Maybe that's a bit too far... you know that's a bad word, right?” I say.  

“YEAH!!! WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!” Sans finally stands up for himself. “WHO CARES IF HE LIKES MEN?” “I DO!!!” skibidi toilet says. They both look at skibidi toilet. “Says the one who likes little girls!!” Reigen exclaims to Skibidi. “I... DON’T... LIKE... UNDERAGED GIRLS!!!” “KILL YOURSELF!!!” Sans tells skibidi. The room goes silent. It's unbelievably awkward. “I-I-I...” Skibidi starts to cry. “H-Hey skibidi its okay!! Who cares what you did in the past... your fine now... right?” I start to comfort Skibidi. “Oh honey... I saw him touch a little girl the other day.” Sans says smugly. Skibidi sobs louder. “N-NO!!! I DIDN’T!!!”  

“Come on sans let's get out of here.” Reigen says as he starts to walk towards the door with sans. “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!!!! YOU GUYS CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME!!! YOU WOULD BE HOMELESS!!!” Skibidi cries out to them. “Well, you're wrong skibidi.. I am loaded. From all of my con-manness" Reigen says to Skibidi extra smugly. “NO WAIT!!! IM NOT A PEDOPHILE!!”  

Suddenly Shane Dawson breaks down the door. “DID SOMEONE SAY.... PEDOPHILE?????” Shane Dawson exclaims. “SHANE DAWSON!!!!!!” We all say in unison. “Yep!! It's me. Shane Dawson. I heard there was a guy who touches little girls over here... You do know that I’m the only one in this town that can do that...” “I DONT TOUCH. LITTLE GIRLS...” Skibidi exclaims. “Thats what they all say” Shane says to Skibidi. “Come on reigen lets get out of here...” Sans says. 

 Both Sans and Reigen leave the place leaving me, skibidi, and Shane Dawson alone. “Well, what do you say Skibidi? Wanna team up?” Shane puts his hand out for skibidi to shake. “I....” Skibidi thinks for a second. “I couldn’t....” “Oh yes you could!!! Be a part of my special club. We give out free pictures of my cat.” “What... why would I need a picture of your cat...” Skibidi starts to slowly back away from Shane Dawson. “Because!! My cat is a bit freaky... Just look at its face...” Shane begins to get lost in the thought of his cat. It's kind of weird to look at.  

“Welll I better join Reigen and Sans heh...” I say while I head towards the door. “NO WAIT!! DONT JOIN THEM!!! THEY KISS MEN!!!! PLEASE!! NOOO!!!! Y/N!!!! DONT LEAVE ME!!!” I quickly run out the door and slam it behind me. I sit outside the house for a bit to figure out what to do next. Then I suddenly feel the house start to shake and crack. I look behind me to see a gigantic Skibidi toilet absolutely crushing the house. “S-Skibidi-kun???” “DONT LEAVE ME YOU.... YOU... BAKA!!” Skibidi yells as he goes alpha mode. “SKIBIDI KUN!!”  

I then see Reigen and Sans and another weird looking guy running towards me. “WHAT HAPPEND!!” Reigen exclaims. “Who the FUCK is this stupid little autistic boy you have with you Reigen.” I say. “Oh, it's my son!!! He name is Mob. He’s a bit stupid.” “Master, I hope you FUCKING BURN ALIVE YOU FUCKING FAGGOT.” Mob says to Reigen. “Woah there mob who taught you such strong words.” “That doesn’t matter!!! Skibidi crushed your house!!!!” “OH YEAH HE DID!!” Reigen exclaims as he looks at the gigantic Skibidi toilet crushing the house.  

“Well shit what do we do now.” Sans says unamused. “Uhmm... Mob!! Can’t you Ex-or-size him.” Reigen begins to shake like a little mouse. “Master, are you FUCKING RETARD this GIANT ASS TOILET is not a FUCKING SPIRT.” “nooooooo.... are you sure.......” “I think he’s sure about that Reigen... If you don’t listen to your kid, you're not getting backshots...” Sans looks deep into Reigen’s blue orbs. “OH!!!! Well... I guess he’s not a spirit hehe....” Reigen says flustered.  

“Well, when I left is when Shane Dawson appeared... do you think he has anything to do with this??” I say to the others. “Hmmm do you think Shane Dawson possessed Skibidi???” Reigen says mysteriously. “Well, that could be the case since I heard about an evil spirit that steals peoples cats and...” Mob gets quieter, “Freaks them...” “WOAH MOB!!!! DON’T USE SUCH FOWL LAUNGUE!!” “YOU ARE RETARDED.” Mob yells to Reigen. Sans giggles at the little autistic boy. 

 “Well are you guys going to do something about it or...???” I say to them. “Yeah, let me Ex-or-size him real quick gang.” Mob says as he faces Skibidi toilet. “So this is the bitch you have been living with for 5 years??? No wonder your like this 💀💀💀💀💀” “JUST GET IT OVER WITH MOB!!” Reigen exclaims and tries to hold back tears. “I-I swear my son isn’t like this please ignore him.” “Yeah sure” Sans says smugly. Then mob Ex-or-sizes Shane Dawson out of skibidi toilet somehow and he goes back to normal.  

“S-Skibidi-kun!!!! I missed you so much my pookie bear!! Even if you did touch little girls!!.” I say as I run towards Skibidi gracefully. “I missed you too my alpha... Even if you do freak with those... homosexuals...” We both share a big smooch and then mob reverts the house back to its normal state. “Who is this goofy looking autistic boy.” Skibidi says while looking at mob. “You can not be saying that while you look like a FUCKING TOILET DUDE. Stop with this shit vro....” Mob then walks away sassily. “Jesus dude... I didn’t know you guys were like this...” Skibidi looks like he's about to cry again. “D-dont cry Skibidi!! You didn’t do anything wrong....” I say to try and cheer him up.  

Sans and Reigen then get freaky or something and the screen fades to black and Y/n wakes up from their slumber. “Man... it was all a dream...” Y/n says. “That was a pretty freaky dream. I wonder if toilets are real...” 

THE END I AM NOT WRITTING ANY MORE 

[gracemain919]

Master list

Yandere Characters oc/concepts from the story “the Fungus”)

The Liar

Short story: Good choice

Poison

Short story: Drink

Introduction

Drawing

What can she make?

The Cannibal

Doodle

Cute doodle

Short story: A Bloodied Heart

Would he eat you?

Introduction

Feeding himself to you?

Eager smut

If your extremely kind to him

Drawing: he cut his legs off

Doppelganger

Narrating The Fungus

Introduction

Does he shapeshift for you?

When you love him like he is

Short story: They Love You

Illusionist

Short story: Hello Friend

Introduction

Short story: Nusery

The Eye in the Sky

You Force Him to watch Skibidi Toilet. (WHY DO I ALLOW THIS?)

Life with him

Introduction

The Priest

Short story: My rules

Introduction

What is his floor?

Short story: A Child

His Abilites

Short story: Let Me Serve You

“Mother”

Short story: A Child

Short story: Let Me Serve You

Other concepts:

The Fungus

Entertainers

You escaped, what happens?

What does the Obsession do?

More than two characters:

You are great but have a husband

You insulted them

Short story: The Main Three

Obsessed with one of them

How they cuddle