#let me have my skibidi toilet!

[atalienart]

Let fantasy worlds have plumbing! Let them have chocolate!

[milkstoner]

I don't have an insta 😔

I do have to respect that honestly.

[kyunniebuns]

Guys if I win the competition I'm making a fully rendered piece of my husband trust me

I finished Crown Prince Jinwoo outfit and I'm lowkey panicking

[mcmansionhell]

pre-recession, post-taste

Hello, everyone. I hope this blog can bring some well-needed laughs in really trying times. That's why I've gone back into the archives of that precipitous year 2007, a year where the McMansion was sleepwalking into being a symbol of the financial calamity to follow. We return to the Chicago suburbs once more because they remain the highest concentration of houses in their original conditions. Thanks to our flipping predilection, these houses become rarer and rarer and I have to admit even I have developed a fondness for them as a result.

Our present house is ostensibly "French Provincial" in style, which is McMansion for "Chateaux designed by Carmela Soprano". It boasts 7 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms, and comes in at a completely reasonable 15,000 square feet. It can be yours for an equally reasonable $1.5 million.

Every 2007 McMansion needed two things: a plethora of sitting rooms and those dark wood floors. This house actually has around five or six sitting rooms (depending if you count the tiled sunroom) but for brevity's sake, I'll only provide two of them.

With regards to the second sitting room, I'm really not one to talk statuary here because beside me there is a bust of Dante where the sculptor made him look simultaneously sickly and lowkey hot.

Technically, if we are devising a dichotomy between sitting and not sitting (yes, I know about the song), the dining room also counts as a sitting room. The more chairs in your McMansion dining room, the more people allegedly like you enough to travel 2.5 hours in traffic to see you twice a year.

Here's the thing about nostalgia: the world as we knew it then is never coming back. In some ways this is sad (kitchens are entirely white now and marble countertops will look terrible in about 3 years) but in other ways this is very good (guys in manhattan have switched to private equity instead of betting the farm on credit default swaps made from junk mortgages proffered to America's most vulnerable and exploited populations.) Progress!

Okay I really don't understand the 50 bed pillows thing. Every night my parents tossed their gazillion decorative pillows on the floor just to put them back on the bed the next morning. Like, for WHAT? Who was going in there? The Pope?

Here's a fun one for your liminal spaces moodboards. (Speaking for myself.)

Yes, I know about skibidi toilet. And sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler. I wish I didn't. I wish I couldn't read. Literacy is like a mirror in which I only see the aging contours of my face.

When your kids move out every room becomes a guest room.

Anyway, let's see what the rear of this house has to offer.

The migratory birds will not forgive them for their crimes. But also seriously, not even a garden?

Anyway, that does it for this round of McMansion Hell. Happy Halloween!

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[incorrectbatfam]

I need unhinged gen alpha Damian with the fam

Dick: *spills his cereal*

Damian: Womp womp.

———————

Jason: *lights a cigarette*

Damian: You smell like you're being cremated.

Jason:

Jason: *puts it out*

———————

Damian: I'm done with my part of our mission report.

Tim: That was fast. Let me see.

Tim: *reads it*

Tim: Did you write it with an AI? Damian, I know you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself.

Damian: But Jon's Twitch stream is about to start.

Tim: I don't care, I'm telling Bruce.

Damian: Not if I do it first. FATHER, DRAKE WROTE HIS MISSION REPORT WITH AI!

———————

Duke: Remember Subway Surfers?

Damian: Remember when your bones were silent?

———————

Steph: *eating a burger*

Damian: All mammals are related to a common ancestor on the evolutionary tree so eating meat is basically cannibalism.

Steph: *takes out a paper bag*

Steph: *puts it over Damian's head*

Steph: *continues eating*

———————

Cass: I need cash.

Damian: Imagine using paper currency in 2024, couldn't be me.

———————

Barbara: I'm undergoing routine security checks. Can I get your computer?

Damian: *hands her his iPad*

Barbara: ...You don't have a PC?

Damian: What do I need that for?

———————

Kate: *enters*

Damian: Is it just me or did it suddenly get geriatric in here?

———————

Alfred: Master Damian, could you kindly enlighten me on what this "Skibidi Toilet" the children are talking about is?

Damian: *pulls up a slideshow with the full lore*

Damian: You may want to sit down.

———————

Selina: *doing her makeup*

Damian: What's your skincare routine? My friend Maya wants it.

Selina: Come back in eight years and I'll tell you.

———————

Gala guests: *milling around*

Damian: You must be my father's NPCs.

Bruce: I apologize about my son.

Bruce: *drags Damian away*

[rinnstars]

impressing you!

itoshi rin attempts to tell you he likes you in questionable ways

itoshi rin x reader : fluff, crack, use of brain rot terms, dti mentioned, super bad ending i’m so sorry idk anymore school got me, not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

growing up with itoshi rin with all his personality quirks, you were pretty sure you could expect anything and everything from him - whether that be him showing up at your house at midnight without any warnings, or him wearing your hello kitty pajamas after school for ‘fun’, or even eating frozen cheese straight out of the fridge for breakfast. but nothing could prepare you for what the hell he just asked you.

“what.” one chance for him to take back, or more so one chance for you to regain back your sanity from whatever you just swore to god he asked.

“.. i asked if you’d like to play dress to impress together.. you know because youre always playing it during class.” what the hell.

maybe the world was ending, and you look outside only to now be even more dismayed that the sun is in fact shining, the sky is perfectly blue, and there was no cloud in sight. then maybe this was all a dream after spending the previous night playing games, you pinch yourself and to your horror, you do in fact feel the pain as you nip at your own hand, almost yelping to the oblivious rin sitting beside you. or maybe your eyesight is failing you and you’re seriously deluding yourself that its rin simply after being apart from him for months, you think, removing your glasses and wiping it and nope - that was in fact rin, still wearing a blank face that youre far too used to.

“do you even have a roblox account..” you were 100% sure that whatever horror games you’ve seen him play does not involve roblox and he’s probably more likely to be a discord mod than a roblox player - credited to you friending him on steam and seeing the horror of games he has bought on that app

“.. ill make one now.” and you think maybe blue lock has actually rotted rin’s mind or maybe his friends there has corrupted the rin you once knew.

and instead of spending your math class, you know paying attention and doing the work assigned, there you were at the back row playing dress to impress with itoshi rin attempting his best but clearly not dressing to impress anyone to say the least.

and maybe this is a miracle and an awakening because you were so sure since a little kid that itoshi rin, your best friend in this entire world, do not have any weakness - whether that be in sports (for obvious reasons), in arts (getting an A even though he ‘winged it’), in games (carried you in shooting games and horror games) that maybe you’ve finally discovered his achilles heels that is apparently fashion.. and handling getting humbled by kids on roblox.

“why the hell is this kid calling my outfit skibidi toilet” if anything, in your honest reaction, you’d call me something worst than that looking at the total mess of a outfit he was wearing because why the hell is he wearing two hairs at once that do not merge at all. in fact, you’d be polite to even call whatever he’s just made an outfit in the first place because it looks like he genuinely spun a wheel and picked pieces at random.

even funnier is that you can practically see rin’s ear letting out steam - clearly upset that he’s apparently not winning the top place. if anything, you think its funnier because he doesnt even rage like this playing his competitive shooting game, or when he doesnt get a good grade for his exams, or even when he drops his ice cream when you were little, only when he plays soccer and apparently dress to impress. now maybe with his ego, or whatever he said learnt at blue lock, would be able to let him score a goal (win top place with a good outfit)

however, to his dismay, and to your expectation, he in fact does not win top places, not even top 3, by the end of the hour long math lesson.

and to him, he practically just lost the first tip that bachira told him and as he quotes “if you like someone you’ve got to like have shared interest right?” and clearly and unfortunately he just cannot get into dress to impress in the same way that you just aren’t really interested in football which he completely gets. but now he’s in doubt about his own situation and by that he means the love test percentage thing he was convinced to take by again bachihara - failing at a whooping 15% that he was meant to be your soulmate. but if there’s something he’s good at, its perseverance and he will not give up just because multiple kids in the game called him skibidi toilet

and right now he thinks hes absolutely down bad and he is only proving the allegations that he really has a crush on you when hes spending time after football practice to play dress to impress. even worse, hes looking up online guides on “cheatsheets” to get outfits, entering millions of codes to unlock hidden items, spending the entire night playing this game.

and of course, its at 4:30am when you log in only to find one person playing dress to impress and youre pretty sure this is the equivalant to a sleep paralysis demon as you blink all the sleep away in your eyes to confirm the words in front of you: itoshi rin is playing dress to impress in the middle of the night. more specifically, itoshi rin who preaches about taking care of ones body by sleeping early, eating all three meals, doing yoga every single day is ruining his sleep scheuldue for a roblox game. and as all sleep deprived people do, you send him a message to confirm that its in fact him and not a hacker.

chat

you: r u playing dti or have u not logged out of dti since class 😭😭

rin: playing

you: R U ACTLLY INTO DRESS TO IMPRESS… who r u impressing 🙏🏻🙏🏻

rin: you

and you feel your heart stop - and not because of caffeine, or another realisation that yoive forgotten to do your work right in class or winning a lucky draw from the ice cream you share with rin. but then the realisation hits and youre now instead let down because of course sleep deprived him would say such words that unfortunately made your heart pump because of all the years you’ve known him, you know that whenever he doesnt sleep well, he always becomes a different person, spouting nonsense about everything and anything as all the logic that he’s so used to melts away from his brain. and so you without thinking close your phone and leave itoshi rin on read.

and maybe its even worse that when you wake up, you realise rin sends you the number of stars he’s collected over his overnight grind that’s somehow more than the amount you’ve gathered throughout the weeks of playing dress to impress and even funnier because he’s clearly texting the wrong person.

chat

rin: (1 attachement)

rin: is this a good rank bachiara

rin: should i check if mine n y/n’s soulmate on that love website increased

you: shld be 100%

rin: from 15%?

you: i’m more accurate than it btw r u still on dti

rin: ?

rin: oh ignore

you: no lets play tgt actlly vote me 5* i need to have more stars than u

and you can’t wait to go to math class to play dress to impress with rin at the back of the class (spoiler alert: he won all the rounds somehow) now dating (he gives you five stars)

[hatsheep]

CALL OF DUTY ; TASKFORCE 141 and DAD TIKTOK TRENDS

Note. these aren’t meant to be serious!! this is gn reader (with only one mention of daughter) and meant to be silly. this also isn’t my writing acc but if u guys have a request for platonic tf 141 content go shoot.

CAPTAIN john price

- you sent him many tiktoks and reels, which he always begrudgingly watched during his deployment (mostly because he did miss you)

- he always sends back questions since he dosent understand some slang

- “yap???” “i’m sorry, what does cap mean?”

- when hes home, he was happy to help video you when you were out or when you wanted to do a trend

- but making HIM do a trend?

- it took you forever to convince your dad to do so…but it was worth it

- he would do trends like the “dad lore trend” with him being videoed in x2 speed as he pretended to talk

- “pov: your dad drops the craziest lore on a random tuesday” because he really genuinely does

- or the home depot one…

- “my dad when he sees someone fixing an airplane when we’re about to board our flight” and it’s just him with his hands behind his back or crossed while he watches the repairmen.

- in the end, he enjoys doing these trends with you. but god, if you keep on trying to prank him, he’s actually going to go crazy.

- everyone thinks he’s hot by the way. you have like 50 single/divorced moms in your comment section commenting about him every tiktok he’s in. sometimes people your age.

- “honey, what does beekeeping age mean?”

LIEUTENANT simon “ghost” riley

- you send him many tiktoks that contain silly puns. he on the other hand, only uses reels. either way, he sends you the dumb ones

- or the ones that are like

- “when your teenager is driving and narrowly avoids a tragic accident” or “me i ask my teenager who they’re going out with and it’s still the same group of people since middle school”

- as a dad, he’s honestly very protective over you, but he’s loosened up a bit over the years. he dosent want to be too strict, nor does he want to be too lax.

- he was terrified of becoming like his father.

- either way, if you thought you had to beg price to let you make tiktoks, you’d have to beg hard for your dad to

- simon won’t let you take tiktoks with his face in it, so he’s always his chest and below….or a mask, sunglasses, and a cap.

- surprisingly sentimental! the one tiktok he agreed to was

- “do i always have to kill spiders in your room?” “ofcourse you do, you’re my dad!”

- he teared up a bit

SERGEANT john “soap” mactavish

- boy, he loves doing tiktoks with you

- he loves sending them too!! a nice way for you guys to bond while he’s away is him sending you the really stupid tiktoks that the people of your generation would more commonly send

- he DOES now some slang! he….does NOT know some others though, skibidi toilet confuses him slightly

- he took the sigma male thing seriously for a bit because he thought it was a positive thing. he loves protecting his family and being strong

- sadly stopped when you broke the news to him that it was in fact, maybe not the best thing in real life.

- either way, such a good dad to do tiktoks with

- you can do those really silly ones with the tiktoks audios

- “when my dad finds out i get offended when people say i have my dads accent” with the regina george soundtrack

- “regina wait i didnt mean for that to happen!!” “do you know what everyone says about you?!?!”

- he loves doing them with you, he wouldn’t trade quality time with you for the world

- “be honest, do you really not like the accent????”

SERGEANT kyle “gaz” garrick

- more of a calm dad, but like simon, surprisingly sentimental

- he’s the one from the 141 who’s has the most morality issues, especially doing his job, so he always felt it was best to teach you important values

- he’s drilled into you to never change your ideals for others

- …which leads to him sending motivational quotes or those hopecore videos

- either way, he actually can be pretty silly and he’s the type of dad to get you watermelon every other day for the rest of your life if you say you like it once

- he can be a little blunt with you sometimes though, bless him

- “pov: my dad if he didn’t have me” (i’ll put my helipad over there…my olympic sized swimming pool, OVER THERE!!)

- you do these tiktoks with him (disregard gender because no matter what, he’d make you help)

- this is how poc parents be, pls understand

- you sent him this reel while he was on deployment and he couldn’t stop smiling

- “love you too, pumpkin. remember to take out the dishes”

- “did u have to remind me”

[forwards-beckon-rebound]

random dick grayson hcs bc i said so!!!

warning: usage of the metric system

got banned from club penguin for making his username dickg0320 and he had no idea why

bruce didn't have the heart to break it to him so he told him it's because you can't use your real name

so he changed it to therealrobin0320

and really they're just very lucky that nobody has ever thought that they could figure out robin and therefore batman's identity from club penguin

(and yes, he did cry when the game shut down)

has the lowest spice tolerance out of everybody in the batfam and he will be bullied for it

his biggest fear is one of those games where everybody eats a spoonful of sugar but one of them is salt or smth

but like the ones where it’s like pistachio cookies and one that’s full of wasabi or smth

jason, tim, and steph conspire to get dick to eat the cookie

terrible at mini golf

i will not be elaborating on that, but let’s just say he thought that would be a great first date idea…

has the most random t-shirts that he wears to sleep and around the house?

i don’t mean like weird weird but like random corporate freebies…

why does he have a boston marathon tshirt from 2008?

canada post merch (very niche but the shirt gets a little extra love during the strike)

he’s never even been there

he probably has a random bing mug somehow too because why not i guess

went to damian’s parent teacher interviews when bruce was too busy and let’s just say he was quite popular with the parents

he genuinely gets so invested, idk if it was just my school but sometimes the parents could volunteer to supervise during recess

dick likes to pop in and make sure damian has friends and check in on his beloved brother

but he’s also so good and sweet to the other kids there

he’s pretty used to cleaning up wounds after missions, and the kids always come to him

like a kid will scrape their knee playing soccer and he’s already there, helping them off the field while he disinfects the wound

he starts bringing those character bandaids (he somehow manages to find nightwing and batman bandaids) because he realizes it distracts the kids from their injury and makes the pain a bit more bearable

he’s already so good with his siblings, especially damian, i just know he’s so good with kids your honour

he is so incredibly confused by the slang though

kids will be like “are you skibidi toilet?” and his brain stops working because what the heck are they saying? what does that even mean? is that good or bad?

he will try to search up the terms and then he will use it in the most cursed way possible

“hey guys, stop being sigmas to each other, that’s not very rizzler of you.”

get this man off the internet and into a nursing home

i think his knowledge of pop culture ends with like 2016 millenial slang

of the recent stuff, i think he knows slay and that’s it

he gives me like tip of the iceberg disney adult…

in the most respectful way possible

like he doesn’t know every single disney world employee by name or like go disneybounding

but i feel like he watched all of the movies growing up and knows the songs by heart

like from when his parents were still alive

sometimes they get to town when a movie has just come out and they have some free time before their show

they go to a diner for breakfast, explore the new city, dick gets to choose what they do before they head back to the circus

one time he sees an ad for dumbo and they go in

and he was hooked (it hurts to even think about the movie now though, after everything that has happened. it’s the one movie he’ll never watch)

sorry that was kinda sad! anyways, i feel like he would like the coming of age leaving home stories, especially when he gets a bit older and can relate to them more

mulan, princess and the frog, tangled (one time he joked that bruce was acting like mother gothel and when bruce searched up who that was, he was…not happy to say the least)

he will ugly cry too but what’s annoying is his “ugly” is unfortunately still quite good looking

and he has indeed forced all of the batfam to watch the movies with him during family movie night

like if you think you’re going to get through a road trip without him blasting i’ll make a man out of you or i see the light, think again

a big fan of the disney renaissance classics

but like any pixar movie will also have him bawling

if he has a kid, he’s sitting them down and making them watch the whole catalogue

i feel like he wouldn’t love the new remakes and sequels as much, part of it is the lack of nostalgia for him, but he’ll still watch it opening night

drives like an old man

hunched over, both hands on the steering wheel, completely straight stare

and he refuses to go over the speed limit, even on the highway

but he’s a MENACE in the passenger seat

lovesss being on aux, i feel like he would love the pop girlies

like taylor swift, sabrina carpenter, he’s cried to casual (so real of him ngl)

but i feel like as an older sibling he can’t help but backseat or i guess passenger seat drive a little bit

“oh, watch out for that stop sign” “the one 5 km from here? how can you even see that?”

drives jason up the wall

A KPOP FAN

i feel like being a gymnast would make you at least a semi competent dancer

dude is vibing to kiss of life, twice, le sserafim and learning the choreo too

eldest son of billionaire bruce wayne spotted at local kpop random play dance

imagine him playing music while he’s getting ready for patrol

he’s singing to what is love while he’s making sure his escrima sticks are fully charged

like are we seeing the vision

[xo-adeline]

hello i have a bllk request!

can i request isagi, bachira, chigiri, nagi, reo, kuni, the itoshi brothers and barou with a socially awkward gf/crush who (kinda) hates kids?

like reader doesn’t HATE hate kids, but is like scared of them. kids are actually scary especially gen alpha 💀. how tf are these little gremlins watching skibidi toilet with a straight face just a short clip of it literally made me and my friends so uncomfortable we couldn’t continue 💀.

so more like she can watch kids from afar, and if she saw one in public, she wouldn’t throw a rock at it or call animal control. but talking to them? interacting with them?? HELL NO SHE CANT DO THAT.

it’s kinda like how we see zoo animals. best admired from afar, and if she ever gets stuck in an empty room with them, she’s screwed. as if talking to adults and teenagers wasn’t scary enough, their school just had to pick an orphanage/children’s hospital to volunteer at. she’s hiding in the corner watching her bf/crush deal with the like 7-year olds (maybe younger, who btw, were most likely bullying her just now.) wondering why and how people could stand those little gremlins.

(better still, if they go back to his place after the school volunteering activity and his parent(s)/sister jokingly mention grandkids/nieces/nephews and she’s like “ew i hate kids” or smth like that, but maybe more discreet idk how to tell even my own parents i hate children, let alone my (nonexistent) bf’s parents 💀)

once again it’s not that she actually hates kids, but sees them as a different species and can’t deal with them because they scare her, and sometimes bully her. 💀

ik you probably have a lot of requests but i kinda need SOME way to overcome my crippling fear of children.

i hope you like this idea tho and i really love your writing 🫶🫶🫶

Ngl this is actually so me, I love this idea so much- But the best part is the fact that I actually worked with kids for almost 2 years, and my friends club has us interacting with kids too... (I tried to do most of the characters but I had no ideas for some of them, but you can always re-request with the ones that I missed and the second I think of some ideas I'll def write it!!)

Isagi Yoichi -> Do we not remember when that one kid stopped him after the u-20 match.. Bro is good with kids, so luckily he can save you

-> He will slightly chuckle at you when you show up to this place where the children (gremlins) are at you slightly freak out, and he will laugh at you even more when your awkwardly standing in the corner because your way to freaked out to actually go talk to any of these kids

-> Has to keep reminding the kids not to laugh at you, and that your just not the best socially

-> Eventually tries to find you one of those kids who are also standing away from everybody else for you to interact with, both of y’all have something in common, you hate the other kids!

-> He will very much get confused on this skibidi toilet bullshit (who isn’t, tbh-) but he’ll sit through it so they can be entertained while he tries to make sure that your still alive in the corner

-> If you actually started talking to the kid that he sent your way he’ll be kinda proud, I mean obviously it’s not the other 10 kids he has with him, but it’s a step in the right direction!

-> If not he gets it, I mean what he’s watching with them right now is downright terrifying, so why wouldn’t the minds who consume it also be terrifying

-> Later on when you two finally end up heading back to his house he tells his parents about how you two were volunteering with children and when they offhandedly mention that it would be nice to have grandchildren in the future he can only laugh.

“Yeah.. Unless I can get (Name) to stop hiding in a corner when they see a child then maybe..”

Reo Mikage

-> He grew up as an only child and I’m assuming he didn’t have a bunch of friends when he was growing up so I don’t think he would be the absolute best with kids, but still better than others

-> The kids will be a little confused when he starts trying to teach them about business and economics saying that this was the age he started learning about running a business

-> They might end up gravitating towards you since you’re just kinda confused along with them, trying to explain to him not every kid grew up with their future of running a family company.

-> Will totally laugh when he sees how freaked out you are with these little (gremlins) kids trying to get your attention and asking if your any more fun than Mr.Business (Which they had nicknamed Reo) -> Will eventually learn and get them to leave you alone, after almost 10 minutes of you trying to hide behind him or anywhere else in this room so they can’t talk to you

-> Ends up helping them instead with other things like reading and math stuff, not the brain rot of skibidi toilet (thank god)

-> That night you two had ended up going out to dinner with his parents as they wanted to have a nice sit down meal while they talked about what was possibly coming up in the future, including your future with Reo, and kids. He smiled and took your hand in his.

“After today, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about an heir to the Mikage Corp for quite a while of time”

Kunigami Rensuke

-> BRO HAS TWO SISTERS, One older and one younger, Man knows his way around kids, for sure. I take no criticism on this.

-> Is actually so good with kids, you now are speculating that he’s actually a single teen dad with like 2 kids or something that he just hasn’t told you about. He’s that good (it’s actually scary)

-> He will not let them watch skibidi toilet, another man who is respectable and makes sure they are doing educational stuff

-> Also makes sure they stay away from you for the most part, just because he knows that you don’t like having all those kids near you, but he may or may not send one over your way that he thinks that you’ll actually get along with

-> He wants to see what you would be like if you actually interacted with a kid, it’s his future brain thinking

-> That also brings up to the day that his parents (and his sisters) have asked you both about having children in the future, he would just chuckle and ruffle your hair a little

“Unless I would be the only one communicating with the little one then I don’t see us having kids for quite a bit of time.”

Sae Itoshi

-> Worst person to have around kids. I mean did you see how he treated his own little brother, smh. (DROP WHAT HAPPENED IN SPAIN, AND MY LIFE IS YOURS)

-> Does not know how to act around kids, just basically lets them do whatever as long as they aren’t bothering the two of you

-> To bad kids don’t listen all that well and he basically has to keep glaring at them from where he is sat at the only bigger table in the room with you, because these kids keep trying to get your attention since they know Sae isn’t gonna give them anything, which sucks for you

-> Attempts to try something once he realizes that you're actually pretty horrible with kids, let's just say the soccer he tried to play with them didn’t go all that well.. And you may or may not have had to get over your fear a little since a bunch of crying kids kept coming over to you

-> To which he figured that this wasn’t the way to go about it so he just put on some random movie he remembers from when he was a kid, too bad it was one of the ones from his flight to Spain when he was younger and it was all in Spanish. (It’s okay, they had fun trying to figure out what the hell it said, and it kept them entertained for quite a bit of time.)

-> Once the whole future and children conversation came up with his parents, he could only roll his eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks. (Name) and I couldn’t handle one of those gremlins, even if it looked or acted like us.”

[gracemain919]

Master list

Yandere Characters oc/concepts from the story “the Fungus”)

The Liar

Short story: Good choice

Short story: Are You Done?

Introduction

Drawing: Just sleep

Short story: Do I Have To?

Poison

Short story: Drink

Introduction

Drawing

What can she make?

Short story: I Can't Always be the Professional

Drawing: wedding ring

Her tolerance for stupidity

Drawing: Sloppy kiss

The Cannibal

Doodle

Cute doodle

Short story: A Bloodied Heart

Would he eat you?

Introduction

Feeding himself to you?

Eager smut

If your extremely kind to him

Drawing: he cut his legs off

Want to have sex with the guards?

Drawing: Using him as a canvas

Short story: I Cant Always be the Professional

Doppelganger

Narrating The Fungus

Introduction

Does he shapeshift for you?

When you love him like he is

Short story: They Love You

Will he judge your appearance?

Drawing: Brain

Drawing: Ballet

Short story: Intruders

Illusionist

Short story: Hello Friend

Introduction

Short story: Nusery

Drawing: Cleaning

How do they entertain you?

Drawing: I’m just a butterfly;-;

Drawing: Mother’s love

Short story: Intruders

The Eye in the Sky

You Force Him to watch Skibidi Toilet. (WHY DO I ALLOW THIS?)

Life with him

Introduction

Short story: Wrong Move

The Priest

Short story: My rules

Introduction

What is his floor?

Short story: A Child

His Abilites

Short story: Let Me Serve You

Short story: A Beautiful Pendant

Short story: injuries

Drawing: Baby bat

Does he love his wife?

Short story: You can't leave without a reward

“Mother”

Short story: A Child

Short story: Let Me Serve You

Short story: A Beautiful Pendant

Drawing: Demon form

Drawing: Mothers love

Other concepts:

The Fungus

Entertainers

You escaped, what happens?

What does the Obsession do?

Wedding rings 1, 2, 3, 4

Short story: Please!

The workers

The difference between obsession and addiction

More than two characters:

You are great but have a husband

You insulted them

Short story: The Main Three

Obsessed with one of them

How they cuddle

How would the entertainers include you in shows?

Their favorite weapon

Others Join intercourse? Yes or no?

You having a mental breakdown

How civil you can be, and still get to talk with them?

[spookymartian]

Tf2 mercs with their child! Reader that infected with brainrots

Me using my german stare when typing this heh..(Lobotomy core)

the previous post was originally a crappost but since i'm a kind and loving individual i'll do this for you

scout

"scout are you the rizzler to miss pauling's gyatt"

"WHAT IS A RIZZLER" *after enough times he starts repeating it because he thinks it's funny. He then calls himself the rizzler unironically and gets jumped by everyone because of how stupid it sounds.*

solider

"solider more like sigma"

"WHAT" *picks you up and shakes you* "I AM NOT A SIGMA I AM A SOLIDER*

pyro

"[muffled sounds which start to sound like the words fanum tax and skibidi toilet because they think it's cute the way you say the words in such a joyous manner]"

engineer

"okay kiddo, don't touch that sentry"

"skibidi"

"wh-"

heavy

"woah heavy you got that gyatt!!!!!"

"WHAT IS GYATT?????" *genuinely thinks it's something bad and goes to medic in a panic*

demoman

"see my wounds, wee one? that's why we cannae let ye on the battlefield."

"only in ohio!"

"THIS IS NOT OHIO-"

medic

*healing heavy* "okay heavy you be careful now :)"

"thank you dokto-"

"ZESTY!!!!!!"

*medic strangles you until heavy has to pry him off of you. he isn't strangling you because he hates you but its because he thinks you're gonna tell everyone about him and heavy having nice interactions alone.*

sniper

"bro is the lone alpha sigma"

*he just stares at you, wondering if you have a brain tumor*

spy

*giving you a lecture as to why scout is not a good role model* "scout is a very immature failure and you should not look up to-"

"MR BEAAAAAST!!!!!!!!!!"

*he lets out a groan and literally just walks away*

[andreabandrea]

i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.

i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.

i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.

even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.

your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.

if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.

and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.

yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.

on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children

[shrimshrim4fun]

BRO I WAS MAD BC I MISSED THE SINNERS GENZ SLANG SERIES, like legit I just found out, I haven’t been really active 💔💔💔😔

Pookie can you pls do part 3 for Zoya, Cinnabar, Angell, and Rahu pls with a cherry on top 🙏🙏🙏

Have a good day 🤎 o . <

No problem, I gotchu >< I’ve seen you haven’t been too active but I’m glad you found out :)

Sinners Reacting to you Using GenZ Slang Pt3:

Zoya:

-Probably also says some slang. But mostly over text. Doesn’t really say it in front of other people

-Horo accidentally started to know about slang and started to call Zoya “the goat” she got a smack over the head due to the others starting to call her that

-When she picks you up from anything she’ll be like “Your alphas here, baby” And will laugh if you get embarrassed

Cinnabar:

-Another one that doesn’t get it. Gets very confused when you start using these words around her. “Sorry to interrupt, but what are those words you’re using?”

-Even after your explanation….she didn’t really get it. So she started to search it up online. It didn’t prove much use but little by little she pieced it together well not really she still doesn’t really get jt

-She’ll sometimes let out a small chuckle if you use it around her. “You’re my sigma” she once told you with a genuine smile.

Angell:

-Very curious about what you’re saying. “What does that mean?” She asks after some time of you continuing to say it

-She listens intently as you explain to her though she doesn’t really get it she’s too lazy to search it up online

-Only use your so called slang when she deemed necessary. Due to her thinking it’s words to express feelings that are beyond her comprehension. When you rant about her mess in her bedroom when she’s laying on her bed she mumble “That’s not sigma at all”

-Sometimes she’ll just sit there and think. “Do you think I’m your skibidi toilet sigma alpha that’s looks maxxing?” It leaves you speechless as she looks at you with a slight tilt of her head and a blank expression

Rahu:

-Also confused. Though she just goes along with it. “What does that even mean?” She asks after like half a month.

-Still doesn’t get it after your explanation but will ask every time you say those words. “What is skibidi toilet?” She’ll continue asking until one day you tell to stop

-Once after you told her to do something she told you “I’m done what else do you want me to do, sigma?” She got confused because she thought that’s how you do it but you told her it is but her face is too stoic

Side note: I also updated my introduction thingy for my page so you can go look at that if you have any thirsts, drabbles, or requests you want to ask.

[moldingtundra]

Explanation for my unpleasant gradient and infected dynamic headcanon!

Ok let’s get one thing out of the way:

I headcannon that unpleasant gradient is infected/kaspers ADOPTIVE father

if that makes you uncomfortable, no worries! Simply ignore it or ask me to tag just in case.

now for the people actually interested in why I headcannon as such, I’ll explain in this blog! So strap in for my ramblings lol.

WHY? AND HOW?

ok let’s get the obvious out of the way:

Unpleasant always appears from infecteds apartment. And ONLY infecteds apartment. Nothing else.

which is obviously weird. I know that other npc’s only spawn from one place (i.e infected from his own apartment or pest from the subway) but this almost always correlates with their lore in some way. If unpleasant had spawned somewhere else then it wouldn’t be such a big deal but this MAJOR evidence for my headcannon.

of course he could just be a really annoying roommate but I’ll explain this in my next point-

-which is THIS:

Litteraly who the fuck follows their “roommate” around once they get an injury, you wouldn’t do that type of stuff unless….

It’s your child.

yeah that’s right, I believe that unpleasant is actually just a worried dad. Which explains why it always follows infected around and why it has such close correlation.

on top of that there’s infecteds skateboard, who the hell gets a skateboard directly based off of their supposed roommate? Unless of course. Infected actually looked up to unpleasant and based his skateboard off of it.

“BuT kEvIn WhAt aBoUt ThIs!?!?1!1?”

I honestly have no idea what to say of this. I’ll be honest lmao. But I’m guessing it’s probably the fact that it’s just teenage angst and/or him hating on unpleasant because he’s technically not his “real” dad.

“bUt ErM kEvIn wHy WoUlD hE eAt HiS CaT tHeN ☝🏼🤓”

Because erm actually anon there’s 0 fucking evidence he ate the fuckass cat there’s only speculation and coincidences who the hell knows maybe it’s KASPER himself (I actually headcannon that but it’s a topic for another time)

ok now that I’ve THOSE out of the way it’s time for general headcannons!! ^_^

General headcannons + ramblings!

number one! Since unpleasant is pretty much fixated on ‘cringe’ things (skibidi toilet and unfunny 2020’s jokes) it could play a factor on why infected dosent like having him around, he’s chill. But he’s basically the embodiment of embarrassment. Whether that’d be through his habits (nose-picking, messy eating, etc.) or his humor (as stated before) he’s pretty much the dad that embarrasses you wherever you go.

on top of that, the difference and the opposite nature of both infected and unpleasant makes it quite hard for anyone to really think they’re even partially related. Which is why infected takes advantage of the fact that he can say he’s a “creep” / stalker and anyone can believe him.

However despite their difference in nature. Unpleasant and infected are actually not all that awfully different. They’re both mentally stuck in a period of time (2010 with infected, 2020’s with unpleasant) and they’re both ‘cringe’ in their own respective ways. So despite their opposing beliefs and humor, they’re actually not all that different.

this and unpleasant would be the type of ‘protective and nosey’ dad. Constantly trying to see what is up with his adoptive son while also trying to protect him ever since he got the infection. To which infected retaliates and pushes it further, thinking he deserves to live his life the way he sees fit. Even if it means getting in trouble sometimes. Which is probably why no one is comfortable with unpleasant, it only suspects everybody.

Anddd that’s all! I think- But man that was a woozy to write- I hope you all like it! Who knows if this does well I might write more of my headcannons! For now though I’m gonna log off for the evening- Bye bye!

[incorrectbatfam]

BatFam at bring your kids to work day across the years at Wayne Industries.

8-year-old Dick: Wow, this place is huge!

Bruce: That's right, chum. My office is on the top floor.

Dick: Race you up!

Bruce: We can take the eleva—

Dick: Too late! Last one there's a rotten egg.

———————

13-year-old Bette: So this is where our family's money comes from?

Bruce, still a new CEO: I guess?

———————

Bruce: And this is our robotics research lab where your dad is spearheading an experimental space pod project.

Young Luke: Cool! Can I try?

Bruce: I'm afraid you need to be a little older. And a LOT more covered under our insurance.

———————

Bruce: This meeting might take a while. Think you can entertain yourself, Jaylad?

12-year-old Jason: Sure.

[an hour later]

Bruce: Where's Jason?

Lucius: Reading the company directory.

Jason: Hey, a book's a book.

———————

Bruce: This is the lobby, where you'll be waiting until Alfred picks you up. I have a conference call so tell my secretary if you need anything.

14-year-old Tim: M'kay.

Bruce: *leaves*

Tim: *moves an end table in front of the elevators and prints out tickets*

Employee: Pardon me, just coming through.

Tim: Admission is five dollars.

———————

16-year-old Steph: You guys have a soft serve machine?!?

Bruce: TWO soft-serve machines.

Steph, shoving through: Move aside, people!

———————

Bruce: This vending machine always gets stuck so you have to hit it a couple times.

Cass: *roundhouse kicks through the glass*

———————

Duke: *on his phone*

Bruce: So... anything interesting at school?

Duke, still on his phone: Nope.

Bruce: Oh, okay. Well my job is a lot of spreadsheets and signatures. I'm waiting for Lucius to get back to me on one.

Duke: *laughs at his phone*

Bruce: I didn't realize paperwork was so funny.

Bruce: *glances over at Duke's phone*

Bruce: What the hell is Skibidi Toilet?

———————

Barbara: Thanks for letting me borrow your Wi-Fi.

Bruce: Of course. The guest bandwidth gets a little overloaded sometimes so you can use my employee login. The password is "clarkdaddy."

Barbara: ...It could use some numbers.

———————

Damian: You run an impressive operation, Father. I look forward to inheriting it.

Bruce: That's the spirit. Just a few more years of school and I can show you the ropes.

Damian: However, as impressive as it is, I identified several key weaknesses that will be your downfall if unaddressed. Firstly, I do not appreciate sharing a restroom with the general public. Secondly—

[sillyhahasilly]

your takes on modern caldre aus? sorry if youve done this havent seen it on your blog :-)

hiii hello anon!! sorry this took so long! never ever feel bad for asking me for hcs and aus!! i love making them.

~~~

the only thing I've posted abt modern caldre is that i dont think they would still shoot up their school. i still stand by this, let me elaborate. i think both of them would still be really mentally ill, but they wouldn't need to be repressed as much bc of social and societal changes of now compared to 2001. AND they would have better access to the internet and we all know there are loads of stuff to enjoy and communities to join and feel belonging in instead of plotting mass murder. still, i enjoy thinking of what zero day would have been like if it happened today too!!

~~~

How would they have delt with covid?

lets say they would be seniors this year, like me. shit shut down in their 7th grade year and almost all of their 8th grade year would of been online. those are very much formative years lmao.

cal would js not do his work in online school. he would of been the kid playing video games and shit during zoom. andre would do decent online. he would enjoy not needing to deal w other people bs in person.

both would be really isolated, spending lots of time in their rooms. chronically online. !!tw sh!! i think this is when both of them would start shing. a lot of mental illnesses emerging.

cal would of been a discord kid during this time too. he dragged andre into it with him. i also think cal would e date some rando on discord.

i think they would also be fully realizing their sexualities during this time bc thats what everyone was doing on tik tok. gay ptide ig

andre would have a full on emo faze during lockdown that i dont think would ever go away.

~~~

Other random modern hcs!!!

both of them would be into violent video games. andre would love CoD. cal would like horror games and watching people play them. they would pull all nighters js to play video games and drop slurs to anyone who is better then them.

kys jokes all the time.

both would watch gore all the time and send it to each other.

both would be such gatekeepers for like anything 😭😭 if an artist they listened too became "tiktokifed" they both would LOSE IT. if an underground indie movie blew up they liked they would rage message eachother abt it.

andre would fall for those fucking military adds. rip

andre would not like skibidi toilet shit idk what yall are on. he would find it so annoying. cal, tho, would find some brainrot shit funny.

I do kinda think andre would use tiktok sometimes but would never post. cal would use tik tok all the time and his fyp would be cursed. so would cals insta reel feed. I think both of them would have a soft spot for insta reels cuz they can be rlly mean on there.

yk those school confession pages? andre once sent one anonymously alluding that someone was gonna shoot up his school cuz he was really pissed and the page got shut down. admin threatened to get police involved. he is LUCKY no one looked into it too much. cal thought the whole situation was hilarious.

cal is chronically online and stays up late a lot on his phone/computer/wtv.

~~~

that's all!!! this is very all over the place like my inspo for these lmao. if anyone has specific modern au requests lmk!! or any requests in general :)