#leaving me awake at night
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The clash of daemon's whiny voice and otto's authoritative rasp and growl, ah....ottomon.
#otto hightower#daemon targaryen#ottomon#i have#so many thoughts abt ottomon and visotto#leaving me awake at night#might as well use a chance to ramble until vacation ends and i get back to work#house of the dragon#i am a simple person#otto/daemon
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Too many fucks in the hotel kitchen (most of them thankfully not literal) (MOST of them)
Angel Dust: “Are you TRYIN’ to kill me???”
Vaggie: “If I was, I wouldn’t have missed.”
Angel Dust: “YOUR SPEAR ALMOST SHAVED OFF MY CHEST FLUFF”
Vaggie: “You looked at Charlie and said ‘ugh’.”
Angel Dust: “No shit I said UGH! Your girlfriend’s oozing demonic tar all over the kitchen!”
Vaggie: “So? She’s allowed to have midnight snacks without being a night person.”
Angel Dust: “Not all over my bagel she isn’t!”
Charlie: “???bAGeL???”
Angel Dust: “Oh hell no you don’t-”
Vaggie: “Give her the bagel and it’ll give me time to make pancakes.”
Charlie: “!!!!!!pAN-----CAkEsssssss!!!”
Angel Dust: “…you’re fucking one fucking creepy lady, lady.”
Vaggie: “Shows what you know, asshole. She’s absolutely adorable, aren’t you Charlie?”
Charlie: “~~~~HEHEHEH~~~ iM cUUUTe~~~”
Angel Dust: “Motherfucker… these damn pancakes had better be worth it.”
Vaggie: “The fuck said I was making you any?”
Angel Dust: “What th- I gave your creepy girl my bagel!”
Vaggie: “And called her creepy.”
Angel Dust: “I made a sacrifice out of the goodness of my heart and this is what I get for it? That was my fucking bagel! RESPECT MY FUCKING BAGEL, BITCH!!”
Husk: “Who the fuck let him fuck the bagels again.”
Angel Dust: “Oh fff-uck me.”
Vaggie: “Again?”
Charlie: “Bagel-ssS? PLURAL???”
Angel Dust: “Blame Husky voice over there, he dared me to!”
Husk: “I said don’t fuck up that bagel.”
Angel Dust: “See?? Listen to the way he’s sayin’ it! So I had ta! And it was just the one time!”
Vaggie: “WHEN was this ‘one time’.”
Angel Dust: “…Uhh…”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “Babe. Drop the bagel.”
Charlie: “Suddenly I’m very awake now and really wish I wasn’t.”
- NEW HOTEL RULE ANNOUNCEMENT-
57.) No fucks in the kitchen. Not of any kind. Don’t even say the word while you’re in there, it’s too fucking dangerous.
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#angel dust hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#chaggie#husk hazbin hotel#suggestive?#incorrect quotes#at the end of this i was ready to ban swearing in the entire fucking hotel i swear#anyway don't leave angel unsupervised in the kitchen#husk doesn't count as supervision#fully demon charlie half awake at 1am- crouched on the kitchen counter- tail flicking as she waits for vaggie to finish making pancakes#it came to me#in a vision#at the end of this night everyone sits and eats their pancakes together in silence#while niffy gleefully grabs the ruined bagels#to use as bait in her giant roach hotel#angel doesnt even have the heart to crack a joke about it
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four unrecoverable hours down the drain ....
★ song : "Gehenna" – Nightcord at 25:00 cover
#hey guys . barely awake spooky here#uhm#sorry about the freakout i had last night over not being able to upload this – i think the tiredness was getting to me ahaha#anywho#i think it's almost poetic how these two complete one another#tony refuses to speak about his past to anyone . in fear that the events of his past would transpire once more . and leaves –#– the plethora of issues he has unaddressed . trying [and mostly failing] to power through them himself#while sketchbook is trying so hard to help tony feel better but . in the process . also hiding his own feelings and troubles –#– for . if he shared them with tony . the clock would only spiral further with worry and guilt#isn't it nice how they both want to take care of one another . but end up destroying each other and –#– more importantly . themselves more in the process#i . for one . think it is#im crazy over this cover guys – not lying when i say it might be my favorite N25 cover of ever ahaha#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis sketchbook#dhmis hv sketchbook#tw flashing images#cw flashing images#tw flashing lights#cw flashing lights#attempt number 4 to post these crossing my fingers hope it goes well
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Bro put the blame on our baby girls
#roman reigns#Bro this WHOLE video is he just serving#i love him#One more thing he talking about himself as if he were in love or wanted to fuck himself will leave me awake all night#jey uso#sami zayn
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You know, when I first read mdzs, I thought the lan bedtime was stupid and didn't understand it
Now that I have a job that I have to get to by 7am, I'm finding following that fucking bedtime routine is actually suiting me pretty damn nicely
#it gets me a good 8 hours sleep#whilst also giving me 2 hours to wake up in the morning#and play on my phone before i leave#honestly it's turned out pretty well for mee#mdzs#lan wangji#genuinely i thought they were insane for it until i started doing it myself#sure i dont hve late nights#but yknow what theres even less people awake at 5am#and i am having a *good* time vibing by myself in the early morning#i dont see the sunset anymore but i see the sunrise and it mkes it v worth it i think
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if you were me inside myself but her i met last evening, then we are who i want to be i used to see in dreaming; i lost you got too crossed up tossed our time in trade for running, and stopped our dreamscape dalliance forgot how you are stunning; I ran from drift and day dream, I ran from mental deep- i left the TV playing, and drugged myself to sleep- refused to be inside my mind in bed my head the zone i fled and kept distracted til i passed out all alone abandoning our meeting, i kept us far apart - but in shutting out my you, i locked away my heart. So no more my fleeing being me alone, i'll fight the urge to fear our fortressed soul and see you there tonight
#poem#poetry#i used to love the drifting time right before sleep wandering my mind to find fulfillment#but years ago i stopped doing that and started to hate lying awake in bed for that period before sleep#getting stoned and passing out while some TV show played#i'm sober now but still in the habit of leaving something on to hold my attention until i go unconscious#but i'm starting to think that daydream drift time before sleep is actually really necessary#and i met someone in last night's dreams who had an important message for me#my life
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Gpoy - it’s too damn early for this edition
#me#gpoy#3am is too early to be awake#but we have to get to the airport by 6am#which means leaving by 4am#never mind I didn’t get to bed until after 11 last night#today’s gonna be fun 🙃
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Fun fact guys, literally every time I post something past midnight, my friend immediately texts me and tells me to go to bed
#I can’t late night scroll in peace#it’s literally so funny#like girl why are YOU awake#sorry that I’m posting about a lesbian and her dream cottage leave me alone#bsd
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I bought iron on Interfacing expecting it to be easier and yeah it's actually more time consuming and while yes technically is less work than sewing it in and therefore easier, it's not easier Enough to feel worth it 🤦
#also I'm so tired#i keep laying awake at night for ages#then falling into a deep sleep#for a short time#and it's leaving me feeling real bad
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also - bc i can't believe i have to say this - if you link someone's meta/posts when they've 1) blocked you and you know it and/or 2) just to rebuttal them and disagree with them over something it's already clear - and okay!! - that you have fundamentally different interptretations on, you're being kinda rude at best and an asshole at worst
#like don't get me wrong different interpretations is not a bad thing#making a new post and linking back to an old convo is not bad#but if it's something that's already been made clear that you Fundamentally Disagree on#if you have beef#just leave each other alone#don't link my posts just bc you don't think you can adequately summarize what im saying#and again: if all u have time for is disagreeing with ppl and clowning on them#it's a pretty sad meta existence#i'm off to write about ez and rayla bc i was lying awake last night like 'huh'#fandom nonsense#me explaining why i don't think callum omitted stuff from the spell on purpose#is not a personal attack#and me exploring how i would interpret if i was looking at it from that angle is also not an attack#it's all chill
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#I keep making this post and deleting it#and both are cathartic: writing it out over and over. and making it not exist again. over and over#and both feel awful. both feel awful. both feel awful#it’s not over till it’s over#but I think it’s over#i sobbed for three hours but it’s amazing how much your body can just#keep crying#it finds the reserves somewhere#I think on Saturday I will have to leave the wedding and drive an hour to get more bloodwork done#and then I guess an ultrasound#and then if I haven’t miscarried I guess they’ll have to make me#and then I guess I can’t try again for a while if it’s a certain drug#and then I guess it’ll never happen for me never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never#no. but maybe. but that’s what it feels like right now#idk. or maybe a miracle will happen#I lay awake in bed last night thinking#maybe this is the last time I get to be pregnant for sure#me and my baby the size of a sesame seed#who now it seems like maybe never existed#in any size or shape at all
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So I'm an area director at a summer camp, but yesterday my boss called me and asked if I'd be down to be the director of two areas and I said yes without thinking about the consequences. So now I'm the director of two areas? That means two groups of staff to train and lead, two sets of lesson plans, two areas to teach at and make the schedule for and make the lesson plans for, two physical areas to set up. They're right next to each other, but this is going to be fucking insane
#the reason this is happening is because we dont have a dining hall director anymore because the first decided to take summer classes#and the second got a research position. so the director of the area that my area is right next to. volunteered to switch#so the camp director called me yesterday and was like 'this is all happening would you want to take on another area?'#so i would be director of both. with kind of a concentration in the new one. while my assistant director concentrates on the first one#but id still have to lead both staffs. teach at both. be available to both. do records for both. set up both#i start thinking about it and i always realize another thing thats gonna be weird about it#but on the bright side ive decided i cant do the 5 mile hike requirement for my old area#every thursday we do a five mile hike for our class because its for requirements. and i hate it cuz its hard lol#but i realized that it wouldnt really work out for me to be across the lake with one area and leave the other area directorless#so guess i cant do that! oh nooo /s#but i have to make two teaching schedules.whoch i started last night#i have to both teach a suitable amount in both areas but also have enough free time to be flexible and available for both#i am so tired already. and i just got this news yesterday#i was up until 5am because i was planning shit and then i layed awake anxious for another hour#also i watched the disruptors which admittedly got me to stay up pretty late too. the grant obrien and ally Beardsley movie#its very good. but mostly i stayed up late because i was trying to figure out being the director of two areas#i think about it for two seconds and i realize another reason itll be super hard. i have to introduce two staffs at the campfire#i have to talk about two areas at the leaders meeting. i have to learn a whole bundle of new merit badges#im so tired
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Things that seize your soul and won't let go unless you rip them out, taking part of your soul with it--these are things that without which, you would be less yourself. You don't take them on because they're fun; they take you on. They appear, divert you from your comfortable life. They are complex-- they can be fun, more often interesting, exciting, points of happiness, deep stress and sorrow to where you can't sleep and begin to lose your sanity... entangled to the point you have to step back, but shouldn't stop, even if people tell you to stop, because these are things you were meant for, even if they end up burning you up from the inside
#im tired#:)#passion#cause#2022#problem is i burn up before i am even noticed by any of the people im following lol#vaguely connected to on tumblr#unable to form real connections or community which is why i will burn up without being efective#unable to help even myself#something wrong w me#maybe thats alll this is#but to leave would mean all this for 2 y for nothing#besides its bigger than me so if i burn up so what#artistic temperament#sensitive to pain#but easily crushed#so...#lying awake for hrs last night not good for me or anyone....#thoughts turning that probably mean nothing as i know almost nothing compared to everyone else#little crybaby american who cares about Ukraine and russia#and othes but this captured me. i...#well i need to speak of feeling somewhere even if no one notices
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#ramblings //#This song is just coming full circle from - oh man#It used to represent Mother Yharnam. who was a fictional mask for a woman lull used as a cover for#me.#This song is coming full circle to represent me I say as if I actually listened to the words of that sentence - full circle -#and also I say as Collision Course becomes Rain#I never stopped to think about the fact that I am the one that Mother Yharnam was a metaphorical surrogate for#Mother of Wolves. The Screaming Mother. The clocktower with 7 bells. The clock as a gateway to all things#The progenitor of the canine instinct and#the. yeah#Mother of All being the epithet resonating so much lately. That is me#She doesn't play in division. She is embodiment. I am her.#The face on the Sign. The black one.#My skin widening....#Not tagging which s: tag these are though you can make the connection. Veil of Ignorance is being absolutely pushed right now#Music //#To be clear because this is talking for me not others but this is still saying info traceable: mother Yharnam was a mask for a spirit#Multiple honestly because she's fictional so anyone can be her to a higher degree than people pretending they're gods#But that spirit was.... Put it this way#Worship her discard kos. Worship the Nightmare not the Dream. Worship a Nightmare not the Dreamer. But what she had...#what she was given were ancient symbols and ancient clothes far older than her. from my wardrobe#Pelt-wearing queen.... who wouldn't touch dirt and turn the earth like a skinned carcass if you paid her#Ancient rites stolen for young hands in the name of power and blah blah whatever. The epithets and shit I listed. these were qualities#those two wanted in a mother but they were too scared to actually face up to one - and leaving that trauma aside#This song was about the one who wore animal skins. The Dog Mother. The Screaming Mother. All that I said#And those are my faces. Thanks#Because here's the point and night we collide. When astral projecting and awake we become one. We do that again#The only line between us is the line of incarnation on the night of my birth.
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Song of the Day: December 20
"Hard Won" by Lizzie No
#song of the day#awake for four hours this morning (the feeblest of returns to tumbling) and three hours this afternoon (answered my emails)#and now I've been awake another hour /and/ successfully stood up for the whole nine minutes my pot pie was microwaving#these being massive and very hard-won improvements is so weird. simultaneously very encouraging and very not#anyway I love Lizzie No and I was thinking about how proud I felt to have made my own tea and the phrase came to me#and so here we are! very fond of this song. good hanging-in-there vibes#'I was mad at god / for leaving me standing in the bitter sun / but I kept hanging on to the very end of my rope#when sitting down alright with myself came hard won / hard won'#'I've done my time / lying awake at night / but oh / those lonely times are done / and oh / it was hard won / hard won'#(also the beat in the third verse where she does not say 'better'. that's some excellent writing)
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michaelsheenwhisperaudio.mp4
#masters of sex#i want to start by saying i tried to post this last night but my wifi was killing me. so i’m being brave and posting this morning#even though i’m ashamed in the light of day to be acting like this. i can’t mess up the flow of the liveblog#leaving original tags and all. anyway#heloehlohellohello can anyone hear me.#i’ve been laying awake in my bed for an hour and a half thinking of this. somebody help me#lest we forget Her. virginia i would get on my hands and knees and bark like a dog for you
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