#but i realized that it wouldnt really work out for me to be across the lake with one area and leave the other area directorless
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So I'm an area director at a summer camp, but yesterday my boss called me and asked if I'd be down to be the director of two areas and I said yes without thinking about the consequences. So now I'm the director of two areas? That means two groups of staff to train and lead, two sets of lesson plans, two areas to teach at and make the schedule for and make the lesson plans for, two physical areas to set up. They're right next to each other, but this is going to be fucking insane
#the reason this is happening is because we dont have a dining hall director anymore because the first decided to take summer classes#and the second got a research position. so the director of the area that my area is right next to. volunteered to switch#so the camp director called me yesterday and was like 'this is all happening would you want to take on another area?'#so i would be director of both. with kind of a concentration in the new one. while my assistant director concentrates on the first one#but id still have to lead both staffs. teach at both. be available to both. do records for both. set up both#i start thinking about it and i always realize another thing thats gonna be weird about it#but on the bright side ive decided i cant do the 5 mile hike requirement for my old area#every thursday we do a five mile hike for our class because its for requirements. and i hate it cuz its hard lol#but i realized that it wouldnt really work out for me to be across the lake with one area and leave the other area directorless#so guess i cant do that! oh nooo /s#but i have to make two teaching schedules.whoch i started last night#i have to both teach a suitable amount in both areas but also have enough free time to be flexible and available for both#i am so tired already. and i just got this news yesterday#i was up until 5am because i was planning shit and then i layed awake anxious for another hour#also i watched the disruptors which admittedly got me to stay up pretty late too. the grant obrien and ally Beardsley movie#its very good. but mostly i stayed up late because i was trying to figure out being the director of two areas#i think about it for two seconds and i realize another reason itll be super hard. i have to introduce two staffs at the campfire#i have to talk about two areas at the leaders meeting. i have to learn a whole bundle of new merit badges#im so tired
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#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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i was going to post about this but then forgot but anyway i feel like it really is the case that the reason neil and chris have been still going for over 40 years and haven't had a major falling out or break is because of the nature of how much they respect each other both on a personal level and also a working partnership level
#i think the moment it clicked for me as to why theyve been together for so long is how tom watkins tried to tell neil to go solo#because he was convinced chris didnt do or contribute anything because he thought chris was just neil's bf#which is like a Whole other thing#but neil was very firm on not going solo and ditching chris and standing up for him and pointing out all of the major stuff chris does#and that neil is very self-aware that he probably couldnt be successful on his own and that chris is an integral part of the group#that really comes across with how much he will flat out say something was chris' idea even when chris is embarrassed by it#the other thing is neither of them have ever had an ego. the only circumstances is maybe when chris would get upset not being filmed#w/ the tonight show debacle that was v clearly he was in the right to be upset they wouldnt film him as if he wasnt the other member#and then that stuart price quote where he talked about how he's seen them get into arguments and disagreements over stuff#but they work through it in a way that they clearly respect the other's opinion and dont take it personally#not to mention the multiple rough personal events theyve gone through throughout their career#looping back to the ego thing the other thing is they recognize that their knowledge complements the other#like neil having never considered a bassline before meeting chris and realizing how important it was#they both bring something to the table that the other can't or can't do well#ig long story short theyve succeeded in having a long career because of the level of mutual respect in their relationship#and that they know how to communicate and work through conflicts when they happen#and at the end of the day making music together is something they enjoy and get pleasure from whether they release the music or not#they even kind of mention it in the reel stories ep with neil making sure chris speaks his opinion in interviews#i really like that he's mindful of that and is conscious of not dominating the conversation and letting chris speak#its just nice to see idk psb wouldnt fully work if they didnt have such a strong relationship#also last i promise it helps that neither of them have kids or been married so no hiatuses because of family and stuff#i mean theyve both been in relationships and given idk too much detail it seems like they made it work out#i guess i mean with neil and his 90s relationships i should say#yeah ok thats my last point hamsndndns sorry thanks if u made it this far i have a lot of thoughts
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IF LORE UPDATES APPLIED TO PEOPLE I WOULDVE JUST GOTTEN ONE OF MY HAPPIEST LORE UPDATES TODAY
#FUCK YEAH WE GOT MY FIRST EVER MURAL LOOKING SICK AS SHIT SO FAR#TORTUGA AS BIG AS ME AND DETAILED ENOUGH THAT STRANGERS COMPLIMENTED IT MY BELOVED#HUGE SHOUTOUT TO THE GUY DRIVING BY THAT ROLLED DOWN THEIR WINDOW AND SHOUTED “dude that’s amazing!” AS THEY PASSED#CAME OUT AS TRANS TO MY AUNT THAT IM PAINTING THE MURAL FOR AND SHE IS NOW OFFICIALLY MY FIRST BLOOD RELATIVE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME OUT TH#GATE#HER ONLY THINGS WERE THAT SHE WASNT GONNA BE PERFECT ABOUT MY PRONOUNS AND THAT SHE WISHED ID COME OUT TO HER SOONER SO I WOULDNT HAVE#GOTTEN ATTACHED TO A NAME THAT I DIDNT REALIZE WAS LINKED TO MY REALLY SHITTY BIO DAD AND WANTED TO COME UP WITH A GENDER NEUTRAL NICKNAME#FOR ME THAT WOULD WORK NO MATTER WHAT I IDENTIFY AS FROM HERE ON OUT AND WORKS AROUND PEOPLE IM NOT OUT TO#AND SHE GAVE ME A CHAMORRAN NICKNAME!!!! A SIDE OF MY HERITAGE THAT I DONT GET TO CONNECT TO A TON!!! SHES GONNA CALL ME TAKKA (WE MESSED#WITH THE SPELLING OF “TOCA” A BIT TO SOUND LIKE “TALK-A” SO WE CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW I TALK A LOT IT HAS BEEN SO FUCKING FUNNY SO FAR I#LOVE IT)#AND SHES GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE KELAGUEN (A CHAMORRAN DISH) SOMETIME#AND SHE GAVE ME AN OVERSIZED SHIRT THAT BASICALLY SAYS FUCK T-MOBILE#AND TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME NO MATTER WHAT AND TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED HOW I PRIORITIZED KINDNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE AND I GOT TO TELL HER ABOUT HO#I THINK KINDNESS AND CRUELTY ARE TRAITS BEYOND GENDER AND SEXUALITY AND THAT I WANT TO BECOME THE ADULT I NEEDED AS A KID AND THAT I NEEDED#SOMEONE KIND THAT FREELY GAVE HUGS AND TOLD A LOT OF SILLY JOKES AND WAS FORGIVING WHEN IT COUNTED AND THAT WHEN I GROW OLD WHETHER IM AN#OLD MAN OR OLD WOMAN OR OLD SOMETHING ELSE I WANNA BE A GEEZER THAT LIVES ACROSS THE STREET THAT YOU CAN PLAY CARDS WITH ANYTIME AND#SAVES YOU CHOCOLATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU LIKE IT AND I WANNA BE THE TYPE OF KIND MAN LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP HOPING ARE REAL AND LABELS ARE#CLOTHES THAT SOMETIMES FIT A MONTH OR FIT FOREVER BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE COMFY IN THE MOMENT AND THAT I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND I#LOVE PEOPLE FOR THEIR PERSONALITY AND IM WEIRD ABOUT KISSING BUT I HAVE MY PARTNERS BACK AND THAT MATTERS MORE TO US AND WERE HAPPY#AND I TOLD HER WHAT IM PLANNING ON MY NAME TO BE WHEN IM AN ADULT AND SHE LIKED MY IDEA FOR MY NEW SURNAME#AND WE SANG TO SONGS TOGETHER AND BITCHED ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DID A LITTLE JIG IN THE STREET AND LAUGHED TOGETHER AND SHE WAS SO HAPPY#BECAUSE OF THE TURTLE IM PAINTING HER AND BECAUSE I TRUST HER AND IM SO HAPPY BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE ARE WORKING OUT AND THIS EVENING WAS A#PERFECT SUMMER EVENING TO BE ALIVE. THIS MAY HAVE HAPPENED ON MY PERIOD BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. THERE IS BEAUTY#IN THE WORLD IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. THERE IS BEAUTY IN BEING TRANS AND BEING SAFE WITH YOUR AUNT AND TALKING TO HER HONESTLY ABOUT YOUR#HOPES FOR THE FUTURE WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR GENDER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN MAKING SILLY POSES WITH YOUR MURAL IN PROGRESS WITH YOUR AUNT AS TH#PHOTOGRAPHER. THERE IS BEAUTY IN LISTENING TO NOSTALGIC MUSIC WITH YOUR AUNT THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR LIKING#THERE IS BEAUTY IN WEARING YOUR BANGS UP IN A STUPID PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL SO IT DOESNT FALL IN YOUR EYES AND WEARING CLOTHES YOU DONT CARE#ABOUT AND GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND SINGING MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND GENUINELY THAN YOU HAVE IN A LONG TIME. THERE IS BEAUTY IN CLEANING#PAINT BRUSHES AND MEASURING CUPS IN HER KINDA BROKEN SINK AND MEOWING AT HER CAT AND THANKING HER FOR HELPING YOU CLEAN UP THE PAINTS SHE
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When did you get pretty?
Keigo x Younger!f!reader
slight smut warning, nothing too serious.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
synopsis: you are a UA graduate who just turned 19. Youve known Hawks since he was 20. After 2 years, youre starting to feel differently about the older boy who always seems to conveniently be around you. ◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
”You know that I dont think your ideas are stupid!” “Well then how come my fifth idea has been rejected this year!”
youre going back and forth with your boss, well friend who happens to be your boss, Hawks. youve been at his hero agency since you were 17, when he personally invited you to do a work study under him, only to find out he really just wanted to slack off all day and use you for your ideas.
“Keigo, come on dude. You can totally just tell them to listen to me and to trust me! Honestly i dont understand why you dont come to these pitch meetings with me, you know they wont listen to me!”
“Y/n, i cant go because i dont want to!” “Gah you are such a smartass, honestly im not doing this anymore!”
you get up from your seat across from the witty blond infront of you, sending a pointed and stern look his way.
You had just had yet another unsuccessful meeting with his investors, they didnt trust a 19 year old girl could come up with actually successful business plans. Keigo knew this, but he didnt really care.
“What? Youre not quitting on me, are you?” His eyes grew worried as well as the rest of his face. With an obvious sigh you tell him no. “Im relieved. I love you too much to lose you!”
a strong heat spreads across your body, starting in your cheeks. You werent unfamiliar with the cutesy words he spoke, but that doesnt mean they dont affect you. In fact, they more than affect you. Youve been harboring a dark, dark secret for over 2 years now. ever since you were 16 you had the biggest crush on pro hero Hawks. You even had posters in your room as if he were a member from some boyband. He was only a few years older than you too, so it wasnt unreasonable to like him. “Yeah yeah, i know im so perfect and amazing, who wouldnt?” You shoot a witty and sly smile his way. You normally just counter act any romantic feelings and thoughts with a sassy remark.
“Yeah, i know, i know,” he trails off, looking back up to you he opens his mouth again “But on that topic! Theres this hero-party-but actually work-gala happening tomorrow and i figured it would be a good opportunity for you to mingle with the rest of the pro hero world so i put you down as my plus one.”
You roll your eyes at the lack of respect for your own personal schedule. “Were you even going to check that i didnt have anything going on?” You grumbled out to him. “Uhm, no because i know you dont. You never do. Im your only friend really.” “Well first off, youre not my only friend, second off, i did have plans this weekend but no dont worry, ill cancel them for you, again.” “Again?” The winged man quickly looks at you. “Yeah this is like the fourth time I’ve cancelled on my friend” you already had your phone out typing away on your keyboard. “Wait really? Im so sorry, you dont have to come!” Hes giving you sad eyes, you know he doesnt really mean that. with another loud sigh and eye roll you look at him, “Keigo, its fine, id much rather spend a weekend with you meeting pros than go shopping and see some lame ass movie, if i had an issue id tell you.”
keigo hadnt even thought about the possibility that you still had a life outside of the hero agency, or him really, the more he thought about it, he realized there probably hadnt been a full 24 hours where you hadnt been with him since you graduated almost a year ago.
He was in a fight? You were there helping him. He needed help with extra paperwork? You were there, at the opposite side of his desk doing paperwork with him silently. Hes in the shower? You’re in the bathroom chatting his ear off about some stupid internet drama. He needs help grocery shopping? You’re writing the list for him. Anything he needs, you do. He didnt really take time to appreciate you at all now that he thinks about it.
“Listen, i know you do a lot for me, and i just wanted to say thank you.” Hes looking away from you now with a hand on the back of his neck, his whole demeanor has changed.
“Dude, honestly its fine, you dont have to thank me, i like being with you. Honestly you are my best friend.” You also were looking away from him, down at the boots for your hero costume.
“Youre mine too.” you look up to see him now giving you a soft smile.
“So about this, what did you say it was?” “gala”
“yeah yeah, what do i wear?” “i dont know something nice? You know its a fancy event, suit n tie for me type thing.” “ah i see, i see, uhm ok yeah thatll work” youre in your head mumbling to yourself about it at this point. “Okay….” He drags out the word obviously to drag you back into the present. “Ok well im going home now!” You hurriedly grab your bags and make a break for it, if you stay any longer you wont be able to get home to clean up and get ready for tomorrow.
══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══
its 6:30 on the dot when you get a call.
“yello?” You say quickly
“hey, im uh, here.” A quiet voice says. “You said 7! What the hell keigo!?!” “yeah yeah just let me up”
You buzz him up to your small, but homey, apartment.
as you hear him knock on your front door you slide your dress up your body holding onto the top as it has yet to be zipped.
You answer the door to see your best friend standing there in a very nice, expensive looking suit. He looked great.
“hey! Come in, its small but it does what its supposed to do!” You say motioning him inside with your free arm.
Keigo realized he had never been to your place, yet you were constantly at his. Like constantly. Honestly he had never even thought about you having your own. You always slept on his couch. He didnt mind though. It was nice not feeling so alone all the time. He liked having you in his life, you treated him normally.
his eyes did a scan over your place
“its cute. Its super you.” He said now looking back at you. He had never seen you soooo… done up? You were honestly such a different person outside of your hero costume, or even your messy buns and large baggy clothes that you always wore at his place. (They had a found a home in a spare drawer in his dresser.)
“Anyways theres only a few things i have left then I’ll be ready,” you had broken the moment of silence, and his intense stare on you. “Can you help me zip this? I thought i could get it on my own but i cant.” you now had your back turned towards him, shutting the door as you did. He hitched his breath, he hadnt ever seen you like this, you were so… calm? And collected? You always seemed so stressed, but he now came to the conclusion that was because of work and his lack of energy for said job.
“sure, yeah.” He said as he stepped towards you to zip your dress. He took you in, in all your glory. You looked so different than normal. Your hair was curled to one side, makeup was light but had the perfect amount of shine, and your dress, well your body looked stunning. How come he had never noticed you like this before?
Your hero costume was tip-toeing the line of scandalous, he knew because he had seen the headlines when he first debuted you at his agency, but he honestly didnt care because he didnt think it really mattered.
But now, here you are in a strapless dress, with a dropped neckline, the fabric is hugging your waist and hips perfectly, the color made your eyes pop and was perfect on you. You looked elegant. So grown up compared to the restless 17 year old he first met.
You had thought the same about him the past few years, he had been turning out to be quite a decent man, he was no longer the hot-shot teen hero you once fangirled over, but the handsome and charismatic man you had grown to be friends with.
turning back towards him you dismissed yourself to finish getting ready in your bathroom.
He now had time to look around your tiny apartment. He walked around looking at all your knick-nacks in the living room until he caught a glimpse of your bedroom door open roughly 10 feet away from where he was standing.
he shouldnt. hes going to anyways.
he made his way to the door peeking inside, it was what he expected, a few clothes scattered on your floor but other than that it was clean. he was scanning your walls when he noticed a very familiar, yet very haunting photo on your wall.
it was a poster he did when he was 17 and freshly debuted in the prohero world. How long had you had this? Have you even been a fan of him for that long?
his thoughts rushed around his head for a brief moment until a devious one creeped up in his head.
you were putting your earrings in, finishing up the last few little things you needed before leaving, when you caught a glimpse of the red wings you became so familiar with at the doorway. You looked over to see Keigo standing there with a mischievous look on his face.
“Uhm, do you need something?” You raised a brow at him. “How long have you loved me? Be honest? Was it when i did my first magazine shoot for that teen magazine?” oh no. He did not seriously look in your room. of course he did. You know him. “DID YOU SERIOUSLY LOOK IN MY ROOM WHAT ARE YOU A PERVERT?”
His face dropped. Oh my god was he really a pervert? “NO I SWEAR, YOUR DOOR WAS OPEN AND I WAS JUST CURIOUS!” “Ugh you are such a brat Keigo! Seriously! Why would you go snooping in a 19 year old girls room! Youre such a douche!” Hes known you long enough to know youre messing with him but you are obviously a bit upset.
“Look, i couldnt help myself i just peeked in and saw that poster! Its cute that you have that is all!” “Honestly, why do you think i was so excited to join your agency? I was obviously a fan.” Another smirk graces his face. “You said ‘was’ sooo are you still or now you know me and think im the worst?” you give him a dirty look and shove past him with a sarcastic huff towards your bedroom. “The ladder!” You sass out to him. He chuckles and makes his way back towards your living room.
A few moments later you emerge from your room and motion for him to head out the front.
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰ ───
Its been a long night, youve talked to so many people youve lost track, youre a bit more than tipsy from stealing the ends of keigos drinks all night.
Keigos drunk and has been consistently introducing you to new people as “The future hottest hero of the year!” Or “His right hand lady, y/n”
You two have finally found a moment of peace as you had forced him to sit down a table towards the back of the venue. You lean over to him resting your hand on his knee for balance. “Keigo,” he leans his head towards you and give you a ‘hum’ of acknowledgment, “Im ready to go home.” This brings the man to fully look at you. “Yeah, ok, me too.”
Hes looking at you in the dim lighting of the room, how could he not have ever noticed the way your eyes glitter all the time? Or the softness of your features, they look so good together. He fumbled with his phone and called for his car so you guys could leave.
“Alright lets get going.” He says, standing up wobbling a bit before reaching a hand out to you. You grab it and also stumble a bit when you stand up. before you walk away you lean up to him and whisper in his ear,
“Ive been stealing a bit of your drinks tonight…dont be mad at me, s’wear didnt mean to get like this…” your words are ever so slightly slurred together.
He looks at you and whispers back
“Its ok, i know you have.” a moment of silence goes by before you both start giggling about the situation. after a moment of giggling you decided it was time to make your way down to the car. Pulling the blond behind you, you finally make your exit.
❝ ❞ ✧ ೃ༄
In the car the driver asks Keigo where to go, he looks at you and you look at him and shrug.
“Back to y/n’s place i think. Ill stay there tonight so you can het home finally!” He gives the driver a big close eyed smile. “Of course sir.” and with that you make your way back to your tiny apartment.”
★。\|/。★
Youre finally back in your own place after a few minutes of struggling with your keys at the door, it didnt help you had Keigo standing over your shoulder making jokes causing you guys to laugh every 20 seconds.
“UGH! FINALLY!” You say kicking off your heels and locking your front door. “Did you not have fun or something?” Keigo asks, hes already shed his coat and loosened his tie from around his neck. Damn did he look good.
You look back up at him and can feel the blush creep up your face. “Yeah, I did, i like being your plus one, we should do it more often.” You blurt out, not really realizing what you said for a quick beat. “I mean like you know, youre my best friend and were always together, so nothing weird, haha….” that was not confident of you at all. Way to go y/n.
Hes staring at you, your hair is slightly messy, lips are plumped up from the alcohol, makeup is messy, and keigo feels like a predator almost. a desire is stirring inside him. this is bad. Very very bad. Keigos staring at you. Its different than any stare youve felt before from anyone. You feel something stirring inside you. Something bad, very very bad.
“Keigo, uhm look, I like you. And have for a while.” Words are falling out of your mouth faster than you can stop them.
“Y/n, i dont know, what will people think? Youre my trainee.” Hes giving you a serious look, youve never seen him more serious than this (other than when youre fighting villains of course).
you deflate in on yourself and your heart drops. what did you just do.
“but…,” he speaks again “When have i ever cared what people think.”
A few moments go by and suddenly youre grabbing his face and pulling him into yours.
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
Your dress is long gone, lost somewhere in your apartment, youll worry about it tomorrow, keigos clothes are littering your floor, mixing with the ones that have already been there of yours. your on his lap on your bed kissing him.
how did you get here?
oh yeah, you were kissing him in the living room then he was pulling your dress off and you were pulling him towards your room. And now youre here.
you stop and look at him, holding his face. “Do you want this? Or are you drunk?” Youre looking into his eyes and studying deeply, you need to know before you make your next move.
“Yes, please, ive never wanted anything more than this right now.” Hes shaking his head, hes begging for you.
“yeah me too.,” youre back to kissing him this time moving your hips since hes perched his hands on them and begun moving you.
theres 2 layers between the two of you. Your underwear, and his. this is it. Everything youve ever wanted is happening right now. The Hawks, is sitting under you begging to have you.
A call suddenly breaks the heavy silence of the room. you know that ringtone. Its the ‘emergency’ ringtone you suggested he set so he never missed one.
you quickly get up snatching his phone out of his pocket and handing it to him.
a few minutes go by with his occasional ‘mhms’
eventually he ends the call. “Yeah, just call me if you need back up.” He turns back at you and begins apologizing, over and over.
Youre telling him its ok and you understand. That youre just happy he doesnt have to go yet.
“Im just happy youre still here Keigo.” “Yeah but i totally just ruined the vibe.” “I dont care, just wanna hangout with you.” “ok, promise youre not mad?” “Yes, i promise im not mad.”
Keigo then hands you a shirt off your floor and puts his button up on over his shoulders, hes too lazy to button it.
“So uh, wanna order a pizza? That food earlier sucked.” He says pointing his thumb back behind him. “yeah, im down.” You say getting up to grab your phone.
#mha x reader#mha smut#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#mha hawks#hawks x reader#hawks#hawks smut#x reader#haikyuu#bakugo#mha#haikyuu x reader#denki kaminari x reader#dabi mha
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Off Screen
summary: chris and his brothers are live streaming them playing video games, but you are getting impatient.
*a text from matt*
going live in 10 minutes. hop on the game.
“ok yall ready?” “yeah” “chris?” “uh yeah im ready”
*matt starts stream*
me and chris discussed where i would be while they stream since im chris’ secret. his face cam doesnt show his bed so thats where i planned to stay. but he looked too damn good playing that game.
im laying on his side of the bed in an oversized shirt (its basically a dress) and a black lace thong. i watched him for about 30 minutes before i lost control. as chris got more into the game, the more needy i got. his grunts and aggressive tapping drove me crazy. he would look back at me every so often to make sure i was okay. *chris mutes and turns around* “u okay baby?” “fine.” i say in a whiney tone. my hand finds its way down to my throbbing heat. i start rubbing slow circles on my swollen clit. i was trying so hard not to moan or make a sound. i do NOT want chris to find out i was touching myself to him playing games with his brothers, live for thousands of people to see.
chris looks back at me and motions for me to come sit next to him out of frame. i get up and pull up a chair that was across the room. i stop and admire how good he looks while the light from the computer screen lights up his face in the dark room. i place the chair down and sit. chris looks me up and down and bites his lip. he places a hand on my thigh, and i squirm. *he mutes again* “you sure ur alright?” i just nod. he smirks and goes back to the game.
i stare at his hands on the keyboard. clicking aggressively. i get lost in my head and just imagine his fingers inside of me and all of the things he could do to me. i get up and walk to the kitchen to get a drink of water to clear my mind. i didnt realize that a wet stain was left on the chair for chris to see… i get back to his room and im greeted with chris standing right by the door. “whats getting you all worked up? you thought i wouldnt notice huh?” “such a fucking slut.” he grabs me by my arm and pins me up against the wall. “you want to be such a needy little slut, ill treat you like one.” he says in a lustful and dark voice. he walks back to his chair and acts like he just came back from the bathroom. i follow him back to my seat and chris immediately starts rubbing on my clit.
“chris wtf ur literally throwing the game” “cmon bruh” “sorry”
i sneak under his desk and present myself in his lap. i have to be really careful and not reveal myself. i tug at his waistband and expose his cock. i gently lick the tip before going deeper. chris pushes on my head subtlety before pushing me away. “your gonna make me cum.” he pushes me away and i make my way back to the chair.
“are u sure ur okay u keep fuckin up” “yeah im fine idk whats going on. i think i might hop off soon” “lame. matt im gonna come to your room” chris turns off his mic and camera before disconnecting.
“what the fuck did i tell you.” “i asked you to sit on the bed and you cant even do that.” “get on your knees.” i obey his orders and get on my knees, taking off my shirt. he pulls out his cock before opening my mouth and shoving his length down my throat. “fuck chris” i moan out while choking on his dick. “what did you say mama? i cant hear you.” he starts bobbing my head harder into his groin. “mmmm fuck” “get on the bed.” “all fours mama.” i crawl onto the edge of the bed as chris smacks my ass, leaving bright red handprints. “you want to act like a slut” he pushes his whole length into me, “you get treated like one.” he starts pounding into me at full force, giving me no time to adjust to his size. “ffuuuuucckckkkk” i say separated with each hard thrust into me. “chris im gonna.. im i” i say breathy. “whats that mama?” he says while smacking my ass. “speak up.” “im gonna cum! fuck!” he starts rubbing on my clit and thrusting even harder into me. “chris!” “let go for me mama” i release all over him and soak the bed. “oh fuck baby. keep making those pretty noises, your gonna make me cum” chris moans. i moan recklessly as he whimpers and whines into my cunt just before cumming. “fuck im gonna cum.” he holds me down before releasing his load. still thrusting into me slightly. he falls onto my back, kissing me gently down my spine. he pulls out and watches the cum drip from inside of me. “fuck baby. ur so good to me.”
*text from matt*
i had to stop the stream because of you😐ur so fucking gross.
“shit baby.” “what?” “you were being too loud. ill be right back. stay here mama” chris goes upstairs into the kitchen to get something to drink. nick comes down from his room. “you really couldnt have waited until later? i could hear you guys from My room. stop being so horny… especially when we are LIVE.” “yeah thats my fault” “chat wasnt too happy…” “what did they say?” “i think youll find out.” nick walks over to the couch.
“fuck” chris says under his breath. he goes back down to his room with a pepsi and a glass of water. “here u go baby” “is everything okay?” i ask with a worried look on my face. “yeah everythings fine…” he looks at the giant wet stain on his bed. “ill change the sheets, you go watch something on the tv.”
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplet smut#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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Bees schnees where they are all pinning but Weiss doesn’t want to get in the way of the bees
Weiss found her eyes lingering on Blake and Yang, a blush crossing her cheeks and heart racing as she watched them from across the cafe. It was just supposed to be a school girl’s crush, but even after graduating as a huntress she still couldnt seem to take her eyes off them. Words that she had wanted to say wouldnt come out right, leaving her to watch from afar as Blake and Yang enjoyed themselves.
“Just ask them already,” Ruby pleaded as she looked up from her scroll. “I cant watch you be like this again.”
“Be like what?” Weiss asked.
“Lovesick.”
“I’m not lovesick!”
“You havent touched your coffee since we’ve gotten here. If you’re going to stare at them, you might as well talk to them.”
“They’re dating-”
“And they like you too!”
Weiss sighed and took a sip of her now cold coffee, spitting it out. She pushed her coffee away and started with her scone. “Its not that easy.”
“What’s not easy about it?” Ruby pulled Weiss’s scone away and glared at her. “All you have to do is go up to them and ask them if you can be a part of their relationship.”
“They’ll say no.”
“They left you love letters, invited you on dates… they told you they were looking for a third!”
“They were just being nice!”
“You’re hopeless.”
Weiss quickly grabbed her scone back with a frown. “And you’re not? What about Nora?”
“That’s my problem I’m working through.” Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend and I want to make sure you dont miss out on anything that’ll make you happy. Can you really say you’re happy sitting and watching them instead of trying to be with them?”
“I-I…” Weiss looked down at her feet as she tried to get the words out. That was the question, wasnt it? Was she happy? She looked at her scroll and sighed as she looked at the pictures she’d taken over the last few months. She couldnt remember the last time she smiled in any of them, even in her graduation picture with her team she didnt have the same smiles as the rest of them. In fact, most of her time as of late had been spent going on missions with Ruby or a few of their friends and avoiding Blake and Yang as they got closer.
Ruby gently moved Weiss’s scroll out of the way. “I want you to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too.”
“What if I’m in the way?” Weiss asked. “They have each other already. Having me around will just be a hindrance.”
“Yang spent months taking those etiquette classes because she wanted to impress you whenever we had to go to Atlas. Blake hounded me questions about everything you liked so she could find something in common when you both did your coffee and tea dates. You arent a hindrance to them, they love you so much that they were willing to go out of their way to do something you liked just to spend time with you.”
“That ship has sailed-”
“I have a pumpkin spice latte and a blueberry scone for you,” a waitress said as she sat a couple plates in front of Weiss. “Courtesy of the women over there.”
Weiss looked at the table the waitress pointed and blushed a bit when she realized Blake and Yang had sent them. She quietly thanked the waitress and took a sip from her coffee. “Okay, maybe there’s something.”
“Then go to them.”
“I’m here with you-”
“And I’ll be available again later. Do this for you.”
Weiss nodded and picked up her coffee and scone and made her way over to Blake and Yang. Her heart pounded in her chest as she started to slow with each step, finally stopping at their table. “May… may I sit here?”
Yang nodded and moved a chair over for Weiss. “There’s always room for you.”
“And I hope we got the right scone and coffee for you,” Blake said. “We werent quite sure what you liked.”
“The coffee’s a bit sweet, but I do appreciate the thought.” Weiss sat down and looked away from Blake and Yang, not sure what to say. Thank you came to mind, but it didnt seem like it was enough. A few other words came to mind as well, but she still couldnt seem to say them as they lingered on her tongue. The blush on her cheeks deepend as she struggled to say the words she wished she could say.
“Are you free tomorrow?” Blake asked. “Yang and I were thinking about going ice skating and we’d like you to come along. You know, as-”
“-a date with us,” Yang finished, her own voice cracking as she spoke. She cleared her throat and tried to hide her own blush. “We’ve been thinking a lot about you and we’ve been wanting to ask for a while but it just never… you know…”
“Came up.”
Weiss felt her heart stop as she looked up at Yang and Blake, unable to hide or lie away the smile on her face. Her eyes practically lit up as her voice squeaked. “I’d love to!”
#rwby#weiss schnee#ruby rose#rwby ruby rose#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#bees schnees#drabbles#weiss x blake x yang
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Don't know if you still do ask stuff, but a silly thought popped in my head: how would the ROs reassure (or not) an mc asking about a little insecurity. Like, "Does my nose look big?" "I think my teeth are crooked." "You liked how I looked today, right?"
Amina: She would smile, and think it funny that someone like you is actually worried about something like that.
Astrid: Depending on where you are in your relationship, she'd either give you a double thumbs up with a smile to reassure you as new friends, or when you know each other very well she'll instead point to her throat and give you a "Really?" look lmao
Cheris: She'd use reverse psychology and be like, "Am I too fat? This dress makes me look bloated." until the conversation was about her and you forgot about your own questions
Edward: He would fix you up, pull up a mirror, and hype you up. Supportive asf.
Lucina: "I wouldn't let you out the door if i thought you didnt look good, since I didnt, you look great, trust me!"
Mary: This girl would look you up and down, pat you, and say something like "Stop joking!" She wouldnt really take you seriously, unless you really made a point about feeling insecure.
Max: "I don't give a shit." At first, and then, "Ugh. You look fine. Now hurry up."
Nysthe: "Who told you that?" She asks, suspiciously angry on your behalf.
Veriel: He'd start listing all the hot things about you, but then start listing things like how hard you work, how much effort you put into yourself, and start waxing poetic about how your eyes catch the sun beams in a particular way without realizing it.
Voryn: Would offer you a drink.
Zera: "See that person over there?" He points to another student across the garden. "That person has a big nose. You're fine."
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I was going through some posts I missed and came across the “tatsumi is mature but still does 19 year old things” and I just wanna say I’ve never been able to put it into words when my friends ask but like. That’s exactly what I love about this game.
We’ve got scandals and drama and weird crypto currencies and convoluted backstories of implied murder or identity theft or military shit or relations to underground gang activity or so SO much more and yet the writers still succeed in reminding you that this is a game full of high schoolers.
Natume was one of the five oddballs and suffered through so much during the war where it affects him to this day, but he also refers to his tech savvy and love of the occult as magic and loves the junior he “adopted” to death. Despite Aira struggling against every odd to become a real idol he still buys merch and looks on the internet to look for content of the ones he likes. Rinne was destined to become the monarch of his homeland but ran away in an attempt to find happiness and acceptance and is an amazing strategist who uses it to take down corruption, but his sense of humor is entirely made up of sex jokes and romantic teasing like Aira being “hiiro’s little girlfriend”. The amount of characters that assign themselves the mom friend role just because. Trickstar. I don’t think I need to explain Trickstar-
Like this game has made me cry so many times and it has its ridiculous moments but it also has its genuine ones while also being the most teenage shit I’ve seen in my life and I feel like so few media can balance those and still have a decent story like that. Sorry for the long ass post I just have so many feelings about this kind of stuff 😭
YEAH this is exactly what i was talking about in a previous ask when i said i have nothing meaningful to add to the enstars cast that isnt a headcanon . its all very well thought out and the interpersonal relationships are nuanced enough to feel realistic but outlandish enough to be interesting .
worldbuilding and character design is one of my special interests and i say this any chance i can get: the most important part of building a character (and a story in general) is realizing the importance of comedic irony and comedy as a whole regardless of genre or tone. it makes characters feel more 3 dimensional and relatable because people arent stagnant and theres multiple facets to any individuals personality (this is also why some of the most popular animes of all time have filler episodes or funny bits that show the characters personalities, every event hits with 3x emotional impact the more you know about the characters as people but that's a different discussion) enstars does a really good job of this . like for example if wataru were to have had a realistic reaction to eichi starting the war it wouldnt be nearly as good of a story. the fact that eichis ridiculous ass backwards plan to get wataru to fall in love with him actually worked is a perfect example of comedy used to make a story more interesting. another thing similar to this is how sometimes its better to not detail something and let characters do things for a mundane reason or even no reason at all . for example subaru hating chiaki just because he annoys him, or shinobu being on the broadcasting team despite his character not being associated with technology otherwise and therefore having no real backstory on why he likes radio stuff. its all really well planned worldbuilding with an insane amount of subtle details , which is why enstars is one of my favorite stories to analyze . the only thing i could possibly want more out of it is hardcore tragedy but thats entirely a personal preference rather than a critique because im a slut for catharsis and i love sad endings , especially ones where characters die . (don't worry im in therapy)
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hey whore, help fix my daddy issues by writing me headcannons of fatherly soldier 76 as readers(m) dad. (pls) i jst need smth sweet.
xx not kaikai
i have had no sleep. its 5am. i've written 2 works, and about to be 3 with this within the span of 17 hours. lord give me strength to make another work so i dont ruin my sleep schedule.
Father!Soldier 76 x Son!reader (Platonic)
Head canons
Warnings - None
"My dad could beat your dad in a fight.", Father!76 x Son!reader
.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻
with lack of a better idea of how to explain reader, he was saved by overwatch and taken in when they realized he was orphaned.
OBVIOUSLY THEY NEED SOMEONE TO WATCH YOUU
To say jack thought you were annoying at first is an understatement.
"Why do I have to watch the kid? What the fuck do you mean I give you 'Dad' energy??"
Confused and annoyed
Being the scared and timid kid you were, you kinda just.. followed him around.
You'd follow him EVERYWHERE except missions. he had someone babysit you when he had to leave. (Anyone except the junkers. good on him)
Whenever someone turned a corner and spotted him, they always looked down and saw you, some fragile little boy, clinging to his leg.
Everyone thought it was hilarious and bugged him about it.
"Hello there mini 76, how are you today?"
You'd literally just look up at them while they bent down to your level to talk to you.
Awkwardly shuffling into Jack.
EVERYONE noticed how much less he swore after he started having to take care of you.
Jack has never once swore in front of you, but, he'll have slip ups and correct himself.
"What the hel-heck. heck. are you doing?"
Even funnier than how much you clung to him.
He used to get a funny face at first when he corrected himself, but now he just points towards you and everyone's just like "ohhh okay"
When he does paper work in his office, he sits you in a chair across his desk and you just. spin in it. for hours. or run around with his pens. He thinks you're really weird.
its okay though, hes accepted you as his own atp
doesn't mean he's not strict though.
hes lenient with you, but, you still complain about it to him
Walking around headquarters to catch up with everyone, he'll just ruffle your hair to show he still knows you're there
He feels super bad when he doesnt talk to you for an extended period of time
like. straight up feels like a bad person and like he was ignoring you, when in fact, he was in a meeting while you were being babysat by Ana or smth.
literally auntie Ana. babysits you all the time. Absolutely adores you.
"You're gonna grow up just as big and strong as your dad!"
She says this forgetting hes not actually your dad, but just kinda keeps it rolling hoping you let it slide
spoiler alert, you appreciate her saying that and youre happy for at LEAST two days about it
Jack was shocked when he got back from his meeting to you rambling about 'training' and 'being just like him'
Ana just smiled and left. out of there before the idea was tracked back to her
He just kind of. pats your head and says he will when you're old enough.
he knows damn well he doesnt want you to be a soldier
wouldnt be able to live with himself knowing you died on some battlefield because HE had trained you to
referencing the title, you are one HUNDRED percent the only kid who can actually say "My dad could beat your dad in a fight." and not get retorted because he obviously could and no kid was walking that down that road
he obviously would die for you before any danger even comes near you. but. yk.. he'll stay near you for as long as possible.
you sticking to him like glue literally made you the baby brother of all of overwatch after a while
"Oh my gosh there you are! I saw these, did you want them?"
A box of fucking dinosaurs.
you of course said yes.
babying and gift giving never stopped since
(but jack still got you new things whenever he thought you'd like them)
#soldier76 x reader#platonic#kid reader#child reader#father son#father son relationship#soldier76 father#comfort#headcanons#overwatch#overwatch2#ow#ow2#send help i cant sleep
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i hate mainstream appeal, or at least an extreme and intentional amount of it. actually, hate isnt a strong enough word. despise. absolutely fucking despise.
so many companies just do not care for experimentation, and whenever they do the experimentation is barely anything. i see this in so much stuff, in how cgi and specifically certain styles of cgi has taken over cinema to the point where the few 2d animated films, especially the western 2d animated films, just dont do as well, even when they're popular IPs, because cgi has become standard. it aint an animated film if it aint cgi.
and not just cgi, but a very specific style of cgi. you see it in everything. it started with toy story, when toy story did it, it was great. it was original. it was actually trying something new. but then they kept doing it, and then every studio joined in when they realized it was cheaper. not just cgi but a specific style of cgi, not necessarily even the cheapest style, just a very mainstream one. i see it in encanto, in turning red, in inside out. dont get me wrong, i dont think this style is bad or that these movies dont still have unique aspects of their style, but you cant deny the similarities, and more importantly, the reason for those similarities, that being a need to appeal to the mainstream.
and it's annoying, and it bleeds into the story too, into the characters. they never pass a certain boundary, trying to stay firmly away from controversy, within the confines of family friendliness and a mainstream understanding of concepts. and this is restricting in some serious ways. to clarify, i do not want them to swear, i do not even want them to show blood or a whole lot that would get labelled as too mature for children. i just want them to not shy away from vaguely controversial things, to not be afraid of issues beyond a mainstream understanding, and to not cater to such a simplistic and common worldview so dramatically.
one of the things that makes stories, and media in general, so special to me, is their unique perspectives. i see this a lot in indie projects, and the contrast between them and big budget hollywood films is startling. i get a feel for such unique individual perspectives in indie projects, even the bad ones, and i guess that's what happens when the team is smaller or it's mostly only one person working on the project, because we're all unique, im sure even the individuals who make up the mainstream audience have unique perspectives, but that just doesn't come across in these larger films, or games, or anything really. anything disney, or nintendo.
and sure, you could say this is just because it's a smaller team. and im sure that's a contributing reason, no doubt. but the thing is, the contrast in worldviews between some of the more personalized large projects and the things curated to the tastes of the masses. take gravity falls for instance, a disney IP, but not one considered enough to bother curating at the time, just a show, not a film at the cinema. the style of cringe comedy it has, the way it tells stories and reveals mysteries, the absurdist view on the world it has, sure, it has a lot of people behind it, but a unique perspective on the world comes across well. the same with something like spiderverse, which is a big budget film, but damn did they know what they were doing.
and the unique perspectives disney films have on the world? well, they're there. there is kind of a difference, but it's barely as drastic. you can tell it was kept within tight confines, unwilling to present anything that the mainstream wouldnt easily comprehend, agree with, or find appealing.
and that's just so infuriatingly limiting. you can say it makes sense because the kind of person this is appealing to is like, the most common kind of person. that fact probably even plays a part in why these movies and other things are like this to begin with, though certainly not the only reason.
but do you not think the common person deserves more? deserves to be presented with things outside of their understanding? or comfort? i dont just interact with media that fits my own beliefs and perspective, yknow. because i think it's quite a good thing to do that.
i just, ughhhh. the mainstream bugs me so much. i dont even think a lot of these things are necessarily bad. encanto had good songs, inside out 2 dealt with issues of anxiety well within the limitations of mass appeal, turning red actually mentioned periods which was a small and good step outside the usual boundaries. but they just, they rub me the wrong way, yknow. they all do. most of the big live action hollywood movies too. same with many kinds of games, especially nintendo games. i just hate it, it's so limiting on our media, it's why i mostly just go with independent stuff, because that way i can see more unique individual styles, ideas, etc.
and yknow what? i do actually think they should maybe show a bit of blood on screen for these movies sometimes. and go beyond the concept of family friendliness. because all that stuff is a load of rubbish in my eyes. beliefs that got too out of hand and have so much wrong with them. yeah, i think we should pass those boundaries for big media meant for the mainstream. not with everything, but definitely with a lot of things.
this was just a random rant about something i hate that i wrote in one take, dont nitpick with any details you think im not 100% correct on please. this isn't supposed to be a perfect critique of mainstream media, this is just me venting. okay?
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(fem!reader, bully!reader, nerd!armin) (also armin wears glasses in this)
btw note 2 those of u who choose to interact; i am a minor.
nerd! armin who's had enough of you bullying and picking on him all school year!
now that you two have been assigned a project together, he can finally get a chance to get payback. you always thought of his as one thing; a loser. in your mind, he was nothing but someone to step on and walk all over. a doormat you can use to get good grades. but you always manage to forget just how smart he is.
without even knowing it, he'd slowly manipulate and gaslight you into a secluded area. claiming; 'it's more quiet over here! it will be easier to focus'. and as much as you'd try and go the other direction, the way to the library, he keeps on 'correcting' you. saying 'no, no! have you forgotten? the library is in this direction. well, i wouldnt be surprised if you did. especially with those grades of yours..'
eventually, he lead you to one of the storage rooms, in an area of the school that was barely ever used. "armin.. this isnt the library. what, are you playing dumb now? is that it- AH!" you were pulled into the cloest by your pink cropped jacket.
"armin, what the fuck!? what the hell is wrong with you!?" you shouted at him, shoving him back into the door. you tried to tower over him, attempting to intimidate him. yet, with strength you didnt even know he had, he quickly flipped the switch. he grabbed your wrists backed up into you, cornering you into one of the shelves.
"g-get on your knees.. if you know what's good for you." of course, you scoffed and rolled your eyes. "what do you mean 'if you know what's good for you'? i know exactly what's good for me and it's clearly not this. now let me go, foureyes, or i'll snatch those right off your face." you threatened. he knew you wouldnt do it, not when youre working together on this.
"you really are a dumb bitch." he retorted and you gasped in offense. before you could even speak, he kicked your right ankle; knocking you off balance. you fell to the floor, now face to face with his crotch. "you-!"
he pushed your head into his crotch, grinding against your mouth. "you dont even realize, this project is fifty percent of your grade. do you even understand what kind of i could get you in? i could get you suspended, or even expelled. professor levi assigned me with you in hopes you'd learn something from me." he unzipped his jeans, fishing his dick out of his boxers.
he laid it across your face, and your nose scrunched just from the scent of it. "but he didnt tell me exactly what he wanted me to teach you. maybe how to suck dick? or even please a man? who knows. but, you're too stupid to understand this assignment, so i'll do everything. in exchange you'll be my little play thing until im finished."
he tugged you back by your hair, his other hand stroking himself to how vulnerable you look right now. he pressed his tip to your lips, smearing his precum on them. "oh, and did i mention? we have two weeks to finish. and i'll take my precious time.."
with tears in your eyes, both from the pain in your ankle and the humiliation, you opened your mouth and submitted to him. immediately, he started to softly thrust his hips.
your mind was running laps. what if he tells the others? what if someone finds out? will he tell the professor anyways? you gave up trying to fight back, instead taking his surprisingly girthy, large dick in your mouth.
#armin arlert smut#armin x you#armin arlert#armin arlert x reader#armin arlet smut#armin arlet x reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/tomuchabotme/758864397050560512/i-noticed-that-armys-dont-talk-about-jimin-at-all?source=share
This used to upset me so much as someone who was a Jimin-biased OT7 ARMY. They just never bothered to mention him in anything as much as they did about others. Even in silly things like those BTS memes. I noticed this even before I became attached to him or had any bias, when I was still new to all things BTS. It's almost like the fandom treated him as an afterthought (which was kind of jarring for my mind to grasp since Jimin was the number one most popular BTS member then. I was a statistic of the "I don't know BTS but I know Jimin" people). They treated him almost like he wasn't a memberer of BTS but just their close friend, and when they couldn't ignore him, they worked hard to suppress him (e.g "Hobi is BTS best dancer, Jungkook is best singer, Taehyung is god of the stage and brand king) .
These narratives were iterated until even I accepted them as fact (even though when just watching BTS on stage, it was clear as fuck to me exactly WHO was the best dancer, had the most distinguishable voice which always moved me emotionally and objectively was like the special ingredient in BTS songs, and who had an unparalleled stage presence😅. It was all one person). And when I became a Jikook shipper, I'd only talk about JK individually and praise him in his achievements all the time. Why? Because I felt Jimin always received praise for his success from outside the fandom anyway (he really was the ONLY member who managed to make noise OUTSIDE of BTS in some way or the other, and it was all good noise). Me focusing on hyping JK up outside of Jikook was really not out of any maliciousness - I felt if I talked about Jimin all the time when he's already getting the most attention, I wouldnt be a true OT7, so I overcompensated with the JK praise & mentioning the other while "forgetting" about Jimin. And this is how I suspect all those ARMYs work as well.
Think about it, Jimin's light simply shines too bright. Would the OT7 agenda really thrive if everyone acknowledged him as they do the others? It was never truly a seven man show with Jimin's presence. So they have to suppress him in some way so BTS can come across as "equal". I once saw an ask on a Jikook blog from an ex-Taekooker saying when they were deep in that cult mentality and hated Jimin, it felt like everything was about him. He just stood out in everything. He was praised all the time. But as they randomly made the very good choice of just watching official content, they found themselves falling in love with Jimin and slowly drifted away from that toxic echo chamber and became a Jimin biased ARMY, they felt like he was deliberately being side-lined by the random out of the members and they wondered why this was. They realized that his popularity seems to come more from outside the fandom unlike Taekook.
When I quickly realized that there's fuck all between Jikook and became a Jimin stan (not yet solo then) I noticed the same, about the fandom ignoring him. Couldn't come across just a random post about BTS without finding Jimin not mentioned there like he's not a member too, or just find a random ARMY account/blog without Jimin rarely and I mean RARELY posted about there (and then ARMYs would wonder why Jimin-biased ARMYs were always so sensitive then when a few would have thr balls to call them out on such weird behaviour)
It's actually so fucked up, because no matter how much you think a member stands out too much and only focusing on other more, moving that way about them is the exact of opposite of being an OT7 isn't it? It's anti behavior, period
A majority of ARMYS are actually Jimin antis and the sad part is that most of them don't realize it. They associate being his antis as calling him slurs and animal names when there's layers to it.
yes, I always thought that they praised the others for things jimin do daily. I never understood why they wanted to make him less, jimin was/is that popular because he is that good to outshine them all. I know they wanted to bts be equal, but it doesn't justify the miss valuate of his work.
he never needed those narratives for him of the fandom/company because he created them himself. he is the it boy because he is, not for a hybe article or fandom tweets.
it's fucked up, they don't realize the double standar they created around jimin and the other members. for example, they praised rl because of working on their music, but jimin also did it, and they dont recognize it.
ot7 armys are such a joke, they think because they write tweet saying 'jimin is cute' and then don't talk about him for months but talk about the others everyday is loving the 7 of them.
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i'd like to know... whats ur take on rinne meeting niki's parents for the first time?
ok i forgot about this ask but because people are sort of SCARING ME speculating that bc crazyb are going overseas there's a small chance that they might come across his parents. i dont actually know how much i believe this will happen since at the end of the day the focus is on rinne and this sort of thing deserves to have More exposition, imo, so having it be an interaction that only occupies a chapter at most is doing a disservice to niki
i actually have a fic drafted out for this (which is nowhere near done, loool), which i'll summarize: it's not necessarily a pretty encounter.
i think rinne would blame niki's parents in part for his "curse" — he doesn't think highly of them, even if niki himself doesn't hold a grudge against them. i think rinne feels like he needs to hate them on niki's behalf, bc even if niki doesn't realize it, at least part of his self deprecating habits come from having been left by them at a young age, and the whole scandal that had arose from his father's tv career.
so while he's obviously not violent towards them, if he were to, say, head to niki's apartment and encounter both of them sitting there waiting for his son, he'd be very passive aggressive. they fucked over his best friend and left him alone, no visits, who knows if they even call him anymore, for years? he wouldnt want to exchange pleasantries with someone like that. and as far as niki's parents are concerned rinne's some stranger who just waltzed into their home so i'm not sure they'd be all too fond of him either? this is all operating under the assumption that niki has little contact with them at this point in his life, so they know little about rinne besides him having dragged their son into the idol world, which he was consequently dragged out of by his father, and now he's an idol again. in their eyes, he's probably kind of a bad influence.
if niki shows up during this meeting, say he was late from work or something, he'd just be kind of speechless the whole time. it's not really a tearful reunion. if they stay for dinner, the preparation leading up to it would be awkward, not much talking. if there is it's niki trying to fill the silence, but neither his parents nor rinne want to actively take part in conversation, opting for throwaway comments at each other, and about niki, since they all think they know what's best for him (and niki isn't the brightest, but none of them go over his head). eventually niki gets fed up and slams his hands on the dining room table, effectively shutting them all up, and going to make dinner by himself while the other 3 sit in silence.
i dont know. maybe they'd be able to talk it out eventually? however i think after this initial encounter they'd probably just want to talk to niki, by himself, some other time. rinne wouldnt be pleased and doesnt think niki owes them shit but i think theyre at a point in their relationship (esp after talking it out themselves — even though rinne can be a bit of a jerk, niki would understand that he was angry on his behalf, not just because) where if niki said he wanted to go speak to them alone, he'd be apprehensive but encouraging. if niki wanted him to come with, he'd drop everything to come with if only so niki doesn't feel alone when talking to them. but ultimately, even if niki reconciles with his parents, rinne wouldn't ever be on the best of terms with them. at least i think that's how it'd be.
look forward to my fic in 2030
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(From a post talking about how I make an au everytime I watch another movie)
Oh you're spoiling me @sonderquill by indulging me in my au's. Also careful what you wish for lol
Okay heres a list of different Tmnt Au's that I've made in my head!! :D
Princess bride au
My own tmnt iteration au =Youngest leo (and oldest Mikey, but I tend to focus on leo)
Turtleverse - not so much an au as.... a big ol crossover and filling in some gaps from canon
Pacific rim au- I was actually gonna do a tmaynt promt with this au, but I skipped it because it was giving me trouble but I might come back to it
Treasure planet/island au - set in space like treasure planet but I pull in a bit more of the plot/events from the book
brother bear au - setting and details a little iffy
Looking through my notes to double check my Au's, I apparently also had a pokemon au, but I dont really remember where I was going with it lol
And now, Princess and the frog turtle au
Longer descriptions under the cut because uh. It got long lol (most of these are personality and character based from 2003 series, but could also be from other series/general/non specific iteration as well)
Princess bride au and Youngest Leo Au have links to their own posts so I'm not gonna say much more about them on this post
Turtleverse- So this is .... mostly just a place for all the iterations to hang out and meet each other. Kinda like the place in Across the Spiderverse. Theres not much for plot, except. The turtle in charge of everything in the turtle verse is the Donatello who disappeared in Same as it Never Was (2003 series). In this au, that Don was experimenting with alternate dimensions and time travel and accidentally sent himself to another dimension. Because of where ever he was sent, it takes him a while to travel through dimensions and then spends years hopping from universe to universe trying to find home. But because of [science stuff that I'm going to blame on quantum physic even though that's probably not the right term] his body isnt tuned to his home dimension anymore, and so if he ever made it back he wouldnt be able to stay there. And/or by the time he makes it back the events of same as it never was have already happened. So instead, he "maps" out the other turtle universes and allows crossovers to happen and a big ole hang out. (Like I said before, theres not really a Plot, but if there was, itd would probably have somethign to do with Don being A Bit controlling of the different universes and them not messing with Canon Events (like Manuel in Spiderverse), because he knows 03 Don made it to his home dimension, and while 03 Don got his brothers tow work together and defeat shredder, Don's brothers died and SAINW Don holds that against 03 Don and dosnt want other turtles interfering with other universes. So the plot would be addressing... all that while probably also dealing with some other interdimensionalproblem)
Pacific Rim au- like I said, I hope to draw of this and explain it more there. But I'll go ahead and give a run down. This is a human au. The bros are 4 identical brothers that pilot the only four man jaeger. They can also pilot a normal two man jaeger in any combination. But one day when a kaiju that comes out of the rift is more powerful than they expect, it tears into their jaeger and Donnie gets ripped out. After they get their damaged jaeger back to shore and injuries taken care of. They search for Donnie but never find him and (logically) assume he died. What they dont know is that donnie miraculously made it to shore and got picked up by some locals. But Don got a head injury and doesnt remember who he is and no one else realizes that he's the jaeger pilot who was lost at sea. (The bros are fairly private and so their faces arent publicized, and after people from the jaeger program looked for donnie, they really figured he was gone ((okay actually there is debate between the brothers)) so they didnt keep up the search.) As for Donnie, he assumes he's just a person whose home was destroyed by the kaiju and that theres just no one left to look for him. A man that goes by the nickname Leatherhead, takes him in and as the years go by the work on building the wall to protect against kaiju attacks (Don does his own research on the kaiju on the side tho). Anyway. After Don is gone, they cant pilot the 4man jaeger anymore and work in teams of two. But because of disagreements about Don's fate (like how they argued in SAINW) they dont work quite as well together. So Raph and Casey are drift compatible . And Leo and Usagi are Drift compatible. Mikey probably Could drift with others (if I wanted to bring in Mondo gecko into the au theyd be drift compatible), but he's trying to make sure his bros stay together and works with them.
BUT. Mikey hurt his arm during a fight. (Maybe just broken, maybe loses it if I want to lean into the SAINW parallel) So he's benched for a while. With all the gossip of the 4 drift compatible brothers losing a member and getting new drift partners eventually photos of their faces get out there. Someone who works on the wall keeps up with jaeger pilot gossip and thinks, "hey that guy kinda looks like those pilots. Guess the jaeger program really is going to shit if one is retiring to work on the wall" and maybe jokes about it with others. Eventually a rumor starts that theres a retired jaeger pilot working there. Don, who is probably going by a different name but I havent decided what yet, doesnt pay much attention to rumors and if he Does here, absolutely doesn't think it's about him. He doesnt pay much attention to the jaegers and focuses more on the kaiju themselves. Anyway, Mikey ends up hearing the rumor (because he's bored when benched and so goes out and wanders and also is secretly working on rebuilding their 4man jaeger) and goes "well it's not me, and I know it's not Raph or Leo... ". So trying to keep his hope down in case it's not what he thinks, (because really, it's been 5 years. If it was donnie he would have come home. Right?) He goes to see who this look a like is. He goes to where the wall is being built and looks around for a while and is about to call it quits when he bumps into someone. Don does a double take at the person he bumped into because he was looking at his notes instead of where he was walking. Realizes he's probably in the way and apologizes and goes to walk around. Then Mikey, who was so stunned to suddenly run into his brother (who he knows is donnie. Even with the scar he can see peaking out underneath his hair on his temple) who has been Gone for Five Years. He stops Don and questions where he's been. Don is very confused doesnt know what to make of this person who looks such like him. Eventually they put it together that don has lost his memories and Mikey begs Don to come back with him. Don isn't really sure what to think, (could this really be his brother?), he doesn't know this guy and doesnt know if he believes the "yeah I'm your brother and you have 2 more identical brothers as well" and he has been gathering impressive data on the kaiju that he doesnt want to abandon. So mike goes, come see my brothers and you'll see and if nothing else, you can conduct proper research with other scientist there. So don says yes. (But really. After just a minute of talking with mikey, Don would have gone back with him because he could Feel a connection and he Has to figure out the truth of what happened to him). Anyway they go back, Don meets his other missing brothers, theres crying and hugs and apologies and awkwardness. They do a drift at some point and Thats what brings back all of Don's memories. Something something they end up saving the day. I havent thought much plot past the bros reuniting lol
(God that was long. sorry)
Treasure planet/island au- setting is in space like Treasureplanet, so the boys are turtles. But some plot/events and character roles taken from the book. Splinter and the bros help run an inn. Theyve all grown up hearing stories of the Pirate Krang and his hidden treasure. Someone comes to the inn with a map (I'm thinking baxter stockman. Possibly in this weird brain/tentacle form since this is space and I can use his weirder forms) and other pirates pancake the inn and burn it down with the bros barely escaping with the map. Casey is a friend of the family and they go to his house. Leatherhead is a doctor/scientist and was with the turtles at the time. Mikey and/or Don are messing with the map and are the ones to figure out how to open it. Once they realize they have Krang's Treasure Map, they set out to find it. Casey and leatherhead hire the crew. Leatherhead hires the well renown Captain April O'Neil with firstmate Traximus the triceraton. Casey hired the cook and his daughter who helped hire the rest of the crew. Oroku Saki is an utrom in an exo-suit "with a passion for cooking". His adopted daughter Karai is an excellent sailor. :) Anyway they set sail. April knows soemthign is up with the crew and doesnt trust them one bit. The turtles are slightly suspicious of Saki, but mikey likes cooking with him, Don is fascinated by his exo-suit, and Leo likes training with Karai, and is charmed by Saki's "Honor". Raph doesnt trust them at all, but has no proof for anything and his brothers seem okay with them so he keeps his temper down (as much as he can. He's raph tho lol) anyway. Leo (and mikey maybe?) eventually overhear Shredders real plans to create a mutant and take over the ship. The rest of the events are a little unplanned because it's a mix of book events and movie events and I didnt write down everything that I apparently originally thought of. But two of the brothers (originally wrote down Mikey and Raph but that might change) sneak off the ship to join the pirates pretending to think that they are still good loyal crew. They get away from the pirates and meet The Fugitoid, Professor Hunnicut, former navigator for the Pirate Captain Krang. Later 2 of the other turtle brothers (maybe leo and don?) Are trying to get the main ship back and have a epic fight with ... someone. Maybe hun or bishop and/or Karai. Idk. Like I said. Iffy plot points. Karai is the one who has a change of heart and helps the brothers. Also the pirates may not be after treasure so much as, say, a giant portal that can take them across the galaxy in the blink of an eye. Fugitoid may or may not have actually been the one to booby trap the planet so no one could use the technology again for evil.
Brother bear au- setting would probably change. but idk to what/where exactly. The brothers, when reach a certain age are given totems/amulets/soemthing(depends on setting) with a certain trait. Leo the oldest gets Guidance. Don second oldest gets Wisdom. And raph is supposed to get his. he gets Love. Gets mad about the animal he gets. (I havent fully decided if I'm sticking with the whole turning into a Bear thing and giving the eagle and wolf to leo and don. Or to turn raph into a turtle demon(like the ones from the ninja tribunal arc) because then I'm not sure what animal/creature to give to the rest of the brothers. Anyway). Mikey is the youngest and hasnt recieved his yet. things happen, Raph goes a bear/turtle monster and Leo does saving his brothers (I'm sorry leo 😭). Raph decides to go after the "monster" again, despite Don and mikey telling him not to. Raph goes out, kills it, and gets turned into said creature. Donnie who had followed after Rpah thinks his other brother has now died as well and decides he need to go after it as well. Mikey may or may not join him (I havent decided). Raph meets a young one along the way, and while I was originally thinking Tyler(? From lone raph and cub 2003) I think this would be a good spot for Spike/Slash. (I could also change it that mikey is the kid he picks up along the way, it could work. but I also like the idea of the 4 of them actually being brothers the whole time) anyway. travel shenanigans and raph realizing that the "monsters" arent monsters meanwhile Don is having A Time following the creature who killed two of his brothers.
Pokemon au- I'm just gonna screenshot what I have in my notes because I dont really remember where I was going with it lol
And then the newest addition to the Au's and what prompted that other post
Princess and the frog, I mean turtle- theres so many different ways I could go with this. But I think I'm leaning towards an au where, somehow, at least one of the brothers (who are mutant turtles) gets cursed into a normal turtle (because I think its funny). They're all trying to figure out how to break the spell/curse. They find April and think she is a princess whose kiss will break the spell, but she's not a real princess and ends up cursed too. So then they're ALL trying to figure out how to fix it. Havent decided if it's the situation from some of the original stories where the frog has to eat off the princess's plate three times, or kissed by a princess or "true loves kiss". But if it is the true loves kiss, I'm going the Platonic Love is just as true love as romantic love route.
This one hasnt been cooking in my mind as long so it's not as detailed, but I do like the idea of the turtles and april helping each other try to reverse the curse. (It could also be that casey and/or april got cursed originally and the turtles are there to help them find a solution. Or it could be that the brothers are supposed to be human and got turned into turtles/or turtle mutant)
So yeah, theres the different Tmnt Au's I have :)
#Okay so it's not 10 au's like my other post implied#But I didnt include the story ideas that are technically not Not canon compliant but also not necessarily supported by canon either lol#in which there would be like 3 extra au's lol#Also all of these ones (except for the youngest leo au) are au's based on other media#Thansk for indulging me sonder!#Man these for longer than I meant them to be#And they still dont cover all the lore I made for all of them#Also if anyone wants to know more about any of them feel free to ask#Tmnt#Tmnt au#Abby's tmnt au masterlist#Turtleverse#Spiderverse au#Pacific rim au#Treasure island au#Treasure planet/island au#Brother bear au#Princess and the turtle au#Famofpaladins rambles#Uuhh what else to tag#Yeah I'm gonna leave it at that for now#Long post under cut#SERIOUSLY#Long Post Under the Cut
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CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt. 13!!
AN: Istg May is like constantly being knocked out or is passed out or is having some sort of crisis! I'm sorry cause it's so annoying when the main character always be needing help but really this is the only way I can make the plot work the way I want it to. She honestly does need help since she's like being abused and forced to work for Shaw so it doesn't feel as bad as just like ‘oh I need help because im weak’ its like shes actually being effected by things that are out of her control and shes not weak shes being made to be weak. Like that's Shaw's way of controlling her. N E ways. Sorry about that, I just wanted to acknowledge it. Also AS USUAL there are plot holes in this chapter. LIke there are so many ways that they could have stopped Shaw and captured him and like also shaw wouldnt be stupid like that and come all the way to charles just to have a lil chat like mans would've blown that shit up, he wouldn't have gone there just to threaten them. Just ignore that as usual. I just want to put it out there that I'm aware and that I don't have the intention to make a perfect and well thought out plot because this is legit just fan fiction and it's not that serious. Sorry though, I hope you enjoy this chapter regardless. IT IS NOT THE END YET so dont FREAK OUT OR ANYTHING
WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.
When I awoke the action seemed to have already started. Only the smallest comfort of Charles’ connection to my mind pulled me out of unconsciousness. He must have felt me as we were coming because everyone was outside on the well manicured lawn with a good bit of distance between us and the mansion. I could feel the aftermath of the shocks, It made me feel as if my entire body was humming. I had been thrown over Riptide’s back, my arms hanging down bound together in cuffs that covered my hands and kept them restrained. Shaw didn't want me to use my powers and the cuffs proved it. Although I could still use my powers it wouldn't be as easy with them keeping my fingers locked in place. In this position I could feel that they had gone numb and there was blood flooding to my head making me feel dizzy and disoriented. It rushed past my ears muffling whatever was being spoken across the gap between me and Charles.
“Are you alright?” his voice sounded clearly in my mind, he must have felt me wake up.
“Charles…” relief flooded through me. I was frantic to speak to him “god im so sorry, I didn't mean to show them where you were I swear- I got caught, I don't - I don't know how to fix this”
Charles didn't respond leaving me worried and afraid he was angry with me. It was justified for him to feel that way yet my heart threatened to break at the thought. I decided I needed to do something. I didn't have any idea how to stop this but I had to try to.
The first thing I did was take some of the blood out and spread it around my body so that I could hear and think properly. Then I listened.
“-and if you don't, I’ll kill her.” Shaw spoke not too far from me. I couldn't see anything except for the ground and Riptide's backside. My eyes widened as I realized that Shaw was trying to get them to surrender. And he was threatening my life to try and convince them. I could have laughed, I could have cried. Shaw thought that he could not beat them, not without me, which was comfort in and of itself. He knew that I would no longer help him like I had only months ago. That I would all out refuse, which was correct. He somehow didn't understand that this was much bigger than just me. Of course Charles wouldn't agree. Millions of lives were at stake, and if Shaw killed me that would be one less person who was against Charles. Why on earth did he think that this would work? I was unbearably relieved at how things were going so far. I didn't understand why Shaw hadn't just sent bombs to blow up the mansion with them in it. He liked to get the job done from afar. But this worried me just slightly, maybe he had a plan that I hadn't caught onto yet.
“You need her. You won't kill her, not while she's still of use to you.”
It was Erik who spoke. His voice was bitter. Even more bitter than when he talked to me before. I remembered when I had first seen him and the murderous look in his eye. I didn't realize it then but I could feel that same thing burning within me. I just hadn't done anything about it in so long.
“Perhaps. Perhaps she's not as useful as she used to be. Not since her alliances have… switched” Shaw responded.
Somewhere deep within me I could feel Charles' emotions subtly. He was worried. Of course he was, he was in danger. But what surprised me was that he was worried about me. Confusion flared within me. How could he be so good? So selfless? I wanted to kiss him and hold him again and again for even thinking of me in this moment. Or at all. I didn't feel the anger I had expected from him. Only concern and the urge to keep me safe. The belief that he was much too good for me and that I didn't deserve to have someone in my life as good as him consumed me. Selfishly, I hoped that Charles would never find out the truth. That I was tainted and dirtied by the blood I could control. My mutation, and the things I had done with it. The feeling of being cared for which he had again and again these past few weeks forced me to realize I could no longer live without it. After so long on my own, I had finally felt the embrace of someone who didn't want to harm me or use me, and the potential of losing that and being all by myself again nearly killed me. I couldn't even process my emotions, I just knew I had to figure out how to fix everything and get myself back to Charles.
I concentrated as much as I could on riptide and slowed his blood so that his reaction to my movement would be too slow to stop me from slipping off his back and running a good ten feet away. Eyes flew to me and members from both sides took defensive poses at the sudden motion. Several of the people with Charles looked like government. A few military soldiers stood further past. I hoped it was enough
I was relieved to see Raven on her feet looking not too bad, she wasn't in fighting condition that's for sure. Her injured foot was very lightly placed on the ground and she wouldn't be able to run away if she needed to, which caused slight anxiety in me. But I was glad to see her awake and with a natural color in her face instead of the sick white she had been previously.
Shaw's finger was already on the dial but he waited to see what I would do before turning it on. I had never been able to control more than one person without moving my hands before but I had a greater motivator now than I had ever had before. Maybe… just maybe I could do it. I didn't have any better Ideas
“Leave.” I demanded, my voice shook but I couldn't tell if anyone but me heard it.
Shaw laughed at me making my gut twist in loathing and a hint of self doubt.
“I don't think we will just yet, and when we do, you'll either be dead or coming with us.” He sneered.
I furrowed my eyebrows in anger. I was laser focused, I tried to feel each ounce of blood in Shaw's body and I felt a strong desire to rip it out of him then and there. Before those thoughts consumed me I felt movement coming from a good distance away. I whipped around, on edge from the tenseness of the situation. It was only Charles. Even from here, I could see his eyes so clearly. It almost shocked me out of my focus, his gaze piercing and intense. Blue eyes, boring into mine. I could feel his need to be close to me, to support me however he could, I could feel his slight hesitance as he strode to my side. Before he got very close his eyes widened and his strides turned into running. Suddenly I could feel the blood of Azazel disappear and reappear behind me and then firm arms wrap around me.
“May! Behind you!” Charles yelled but it was too late. The sickening feeling of being teleported made my stomach turn. I grasped for control but before I knew it I was being deposited in the arms of Shaw and his arm wrapped around my neck holding me still. I shook in anger as my powers refused to cooperate. I could feel tears form out of frustration which was stopped and replaced with fear when I felt the barrel of a gun hit my temple.
Charles' hands came up defensively and many of his team came forward. Erik made his way over quickly and put his hand up to somehow manipulate the gun, but by then I had frozen Shaw's hand and aimed it away from my head. His arm shook as the gun slowly came to point at his own head. His resistance was strong but I could override it. I could feel his heart pounding behind me. I felt my own begin to steady as I regained slight control of my powers. Then that reassurance was ripped away as I felt Frost enter my mind and render my abilities useless. Shaw's gun was tossed on the ground, he must have realized it would be useless with Erik stood just a few yards away. I let out a pained noise as I tried to force Emma out of my mind but everything moved too quickly and in a flash Shaw's hand came to wrap around my neck, the other coming up in front of my face to display the dial on his ring which he turned slowly. My eyes widened as the pain took over me once again. My breathing became labored while the electricity wracked my body and made me tense and twitch. I could feel my scar flare up at Shaw's rough hand on my neck, It felt like the collar was back around it burning my skin. He squeezed causing me to choke and my hands raised to claw them off but were useless with the confines on my hands. I trashed desperately against Shaws and tried to ignore the electricity and use my powers to move his finger and turn off the electricity but I was too weak.
I looked at Charles desperately. His eyes were wide with fear. Soon I lost focus as my vision blurred at the pain. I writhed in Shaw's grasp and this time instead of trying to use my powers I raised my cuffs and slammed them against Shaw's face. It was covered by the helmet he wore in order to prevent Charles from getting into his mind but I hit him hard enough that it must have had some effect because he let go of my neck and I dropped to my knees. Charles took two steps forward but did not come any closer than that. I heaved and put my cuffs against my head groaning at the way the electricity shook my body. My muscles spasmed out of control. I couldn't think clearly, the only thing I could feel besides the pain was Charles connected to me. Then he spoke in my mind and I looked up towards him trying to focus on his eyes on mine.
“What's happening? How is he doing this?” It was clear and I was grateful for this otherwise I wouldn't have been able to understand him with my senses being overwhelmed. I fought to come up with an answer in my state. I grasped for some clarity on anything, words escaping me. Then, suddenly the words formed and before I could even process them I said them to Charles.
“Read my mind, go through my memories. Quick!"
His eyes searched me for hesitance and his eyebrows came together in worry. Only a second passed before he nodded his head resolutely, coming to the same conclusion as I had. There was no other way.
He brought his fingers up to his temple and then I felt him push into my mind, further than he had ever gone before. I lurched using my hands to support me while trying to keep my eyes open and my body from completely giving up. The feeling of Charles in my mind was the only thing keeping me from losing that battle. He sorted through things, the memories flashing in my mind as he looked at them. My days as a child, laughing and playing with my sisters before they had discovered my mutation. Getting scolded when I let my temper control me. My mom and dad dropping me off and the institution. Lou and I laughing in bed, the years I had spent with her. When she died, and how angry she had been with me the last time I had seen her. The night Shaw kidnapped me. He pushed through my mind quickly, moving at a fast pace, but carefully, reverently. It felt like a lifetime had passed in just a few seconds.
I could feel him tense up at the memories and the weight they held in my heart, but he didn't linger where he wasn't needed. He only used these memories to understand what was going on. My mind exposed the shock collar and the day they had replaced them with the devices attached to my spine and skull. There he lingered. I could feel an idea form and his voice spoke gently in my mind again.
“I have an idea…”
I groaned out in pain and looked back up into his sharp eyes. He looked afraid.
“What is i-it?”
“Erik… he could take them out.”
I realized what he was trying to say. My shock devices, he could rip them out of me. He could free me of Shaw's control. My eyes widened and suddenly the electricity didn't feel so intense. Not because the voltage was going down, but because the possibility of being free became the sole focus in my mind. Overriding all other senses and thoughts.
“Do it.” I said it out loud, bitter, angry and hopeful.
“... Are you sure, love?” Charles said out loud too. The worry in his voice was sweet but I was too desperate to care.
“Yes! Now Charles! please,”
Charles turned to Erik and they must have communicated telepathically because no words were spoken between the two. Erik's expression changed from confusion to understanding and then he nodded softly at Charles. Erik faced me and came closer till he was only a little ways away from me. First I felt the metal of my cuffs tear and fall from my hands, then I felt him tug at the wires in my neck. I screamed out as I felt them unwind from my bones and he jerked them harshly out of my body. The pain was worse than the shocks and my vision went black for a moment but as soon as they were out I felt a staggering sense of relief wash over me. Each device clattered to the ground in front of me, covered in my blood, the light signalling that they were on flashed until Erik crushed them, one at a time. I let out a dry sob as the pain faded. My hand came up to my neck to feel where the devices had been. Instead there were three wounds where blood slipped down to the front of my neck. My hands shook, not from pain or electricity, from the current of emotions I was feeling. Shock, astonishment and freedom, and then fury.
I stood on shaky legs and turned to face Shaw who looked at me with such an intense unfiltered fear that I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it was because of me. He had always been afraid but it was well hidden and mixed with his desire to control me. Now that he didn't have command over my powers, of course it showed itself, clear and unyielding on his face.
I felt those murderous feelings rise in me again. He had taken everything from me and until now I hadn't been able to do anything but throw fits. And after years of his torture I had grown too tired and I had lost even my temper. Now it was all resurfacing, my fury, my resentment, the grief I had for the years he had stolen from me, and for lou. My hands clenched at my sides, my knuckles turning white. I felt Frost try to take control of my mind again but before she could I felt charles stop her with his own powers. I felt stronger knowing he had my back. The power made my mind foggy. All I wanted was to make Shaw pay. I held everyone else in place. Their resistance did nothing as I honed in on Shaw. With the other hand I lifted him into the air and spread his blood out just slightly inside his body, separating each cell from the others. He groaned and his eyes and skin became red and bloodshot. My face contorted in anger as I pushed slightly harder, wanting it to be painful and slow.
“You took everything from me, Schmidt.” I spoke in a strained voice. I barely recognised the sound of it as it left my throat. It was raw and hoarse. Shaw couldn't even hear it over his own choking
“May,” Charles was suddenly behind me, but his voice was in my head. “You don't have to do this,”
I scoffed “oh but I do.” The blood from my devices was leaking out of my neck and staining my shirt mixing with the sweat. My muscles twitched almost as if I was being shocked, but it almost felt good knowing that it was my own emotions causing this reaction, not shaw.
“Please… it won't make you feel any better,”
“Then what will?” I choked out, still focused on shaw in front of me. Charles was earnest, the soft lul of his voice in my head snapped me out of my anger for a moment. I thought about what he said. If I didn't get my revenge I thought I would would be left empty inside, and if Charles was right, and it didn't fill that void then I was hopeless, forever shattered and broken.
“Having good people who want to help you by your side. People who want to support you, who wont control you” His hand came to rest on my shoulder as he came to stand in front of me.
My heart clenched in my chest. I glanced away from Shaw to look at Charles. Tears formed in my eyes. Nothing seemed more important to me right now than Shaw. But Charles looked at me with so much care and concern and…. Love? My anger faded away more and more by the second and was replaced with the surprise of seeing something so pure in his expression. And he was looking at me. I could hardly believe it. I realized I needed it. To feel wanted for something other than my powers and to not feel unwanted because of them either. To be wanted but just for who I was. And Charles was giving it to me. His hand came up to my face where he wiped a tear that had slipped from my eye. I instinctively melted into his hand and let out a shaky breath, my eyebrows knitting as more tears came.
Shaw gargled behind him and my attention shifted back to him. The rest of the Hellfire club were still frozen in place.
“Let me help you fix what he's broken,” Charles said out loud. My eyes glanced between him and Shaw and my anger dissolved completely. Shaw didn't matter anymore. I could choose to live my life how I pleased and Charles was asking me to choose to stay with him and let him take care of me. I realized there was nothing I wanted more. I nodded softly to Charles but mostly to myself. A promise to be better for him. To not add on to the list of reasons why I didn't deserve this, and to move on from my past and not let it be what affects my first decision after escaping Shaw's command.
“Ok” I said. Shaw fell to the floor where he gasped for air and the rest of the team unfroze. My arms went down to my sides feeling heavy. More tears slipped from my eyes before Charles wrapped me in a hug. I broke down crying audibly now, overwhelmed by everything and also feeling unbearably good in Charles’ arms and out of Shaw's reach.
The embrace didn't last long before people were fighting again, Shaw and his team were trying to retreat while preventing themselves from being captured, I stepped away from Charles to help the military soldiers who were trying to get their hands on the hellfire club, I raised my hands to freeze them in place but realized that my vision was impaired from the tears. In the split second it took for me to wipe my eyes with my sleeve, Shaw had clambered for the gun he had tossed to the ground before and pointed it at my head as a last effort to keep me, his best weapon, from being freed and turned on him. He would rather me dead than on the other side. I saw him a moment too late and he fired the gun a single time, the shot ringing in my ears. My eyes went wide before everything returned to blackness.
#charles xavier#charles xavier x reader#x reader#james macavoy#james mcavoy x reader#x men#charles xavier x oc
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