#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago
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#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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twilightknight17 · 4 years ago
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We’re at the end of the road, folks.
And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD
So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.
Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.
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So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.
After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?
Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.
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We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.
Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.
Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.
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I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.
But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.
And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.
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That is certainly a persona.
I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.
Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”
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I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.
Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD
Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.
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The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!
Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.
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You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.
I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.
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The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.
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I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD
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I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.
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We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.
EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.
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The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.
...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.
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One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.
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Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.
Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.
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Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.
After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.
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I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.
That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.
But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.
The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.
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Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.
I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.
Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.
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I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD
The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D
Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.
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This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.
Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.
I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?
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artblogofanekophile · 4 years ago
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Ooh, I don’t have a ship for this, so I might just have to give a brief answer with all my OCs/my persona! Neko’s Reaction “Viper, hmm?” she echoes, bringing a gloved hand to her chin in thought, “I guess I’ve never really taken much note of him, he usually just hangs in the background while Kalim is taking the spotlight. Though, when you put it like that, you’ve kinda gotta feel bad for the poor guy.”  Shrugging her shoulders, a cheeky grin reaches her face, “Gotta admit, though, he’s pretty cute!”  Robin’s Reaction “He was one of the few people that I didn’t find intimidating when I came here!” Robin beams, “He seems to be a really loyal friend - he and Kalim are almost never apart, after all! It must be really nice to have such a tight knit friendship like that...” Her smile fades into a slightly saddened one, though her expression turns puzzled when she takes note of the interviewer snickering.  “Huh? What’s so funny...?”  Persephone’s Reaction “Y’know, something about him seems a little off to me.” Persephone admits, crossing her arms over her chest. “I mean, sure, he seems nice enough on a surface level, but there’s some weird - I dunno, I guess you could call it an aura? - about him that makes it seem like he’s got a lot more going on than meets the eye.”  “I know for sure I wouldn’t always have the energy to put up with being outshined by the person closest to me all the time, anyway.” Persephone reasons. 
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waterparchive · 5 years ago
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Toxic Fandom, Public Heartbreak, And The Feedback Loop
Travis Riddle – October 29, 2019
Fandom by Waterparks is one of my favorite albums of the year, regardless of the fact that…I am friends with the band. There was not a single track that immediately stood out as my favorite like Take Her to the Moon and Peach on previous albums--but I think that's because everything on this one is so good, it's impossible to choose one. I Miss Sex/War Crimes/I Felt Younger would probably comprise my top 3, but every song is fantastic. And the album is on the shorter side but you truly don't feel that length, these songs all go through so many different movements--lyrically and musically--that every song is just dense as hell and it feels a lot longer than it is, while still not feeling overwhelming or messy at all. It flows great and hits some really interesting themes.
This write-up was initially sent to Awsten on the album’s release date, and I’ve edited it a little below for clarity/brevity, because I would not shut up about it.
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1. Cherry Red - Starting the album off with that bark/yell is so tight. A year and a half ago in that parking lot going to get crawfish together I didn't really "get" this song, but after hearing the album several times it really clicked for me. I love how it acts as kind of a setup to the whole thing, getting the listener into your mindset and introducing one of the main themes of the album. I also like how it continues your color motifs; "blue and yellow let’s get together and be green" has now gone bad and turned to sour green, and it seems like cherry red is replacing yellow (red + yellow = orange hmmmmm). I also love how "You know I died for you" ties into the closing track, "I said I loved you to death so I must be dead."
2. WWHN - A really great choice for the first full song of the album to set the tone for the Fandom theme in contrast with Cherry Red setting up the emotional side of the lyrics. It's also a goddamn jam so it's great at hyping up right at the start hahah. I've probably told you everything about this already but I like what you're saying in this, and how it's something probably every single artist goes through in their career, but no one seems to say in a critical way (that I’m aware of). I'm sure this and other songs will make some fans upset because they're being called out but I like that, and it's some stuff that needs to be said.
3. Dream Boy - Lots of good stuff about fan expectations in this, dressed up in metaphors and really catchy pop to catch people off-guard. Love the phrase "Build-A-Boy, pick your pieces" and "Do you believe in love and is it because of me?" With people's weird way of crafting their whole lives and beliefs and desires on these celebrities that they don't know personally at all yet are so invested in.
4. Easy to Hate - I feel like this is the most straightforward and "simple" song thematically, but man it is so catchy. The sound effect that I'm sure is your voice in the opening before the verse is so damn cool. I like this first real hint of the colors turning to red. This is thematically pretty similar to other demos like ********* and Play and stuff so with how catchy and big this chorus is, it's easy to see why you chose this one to cover that topic. I'm also a sucker for someone doing the chorus in a song but stripped down like you do here. Those harmonies in the final chorus are also soooo good..........
5. High Definition - You're on some Imogen Heap-ass shit here and it's dope. I like this as a single choice since I feel like the emotional side of the album really hinges on this track--it's not a breakup album in the typical sense (aside from like Easy to Hate and Worst), but rather it's about the aftermath of the breakup and the emotional state surrounding that, the doubts and insecurities and vulnerabilities of losing trust in everybody due to one person’s actions, and this song is such a direct and succinct and sad encapsulation of that. Hate how this whole song makes me feel for my friend but it's also really pretty and good.
6. Telephone - This is some real Hellogoodbye-ass shit here with the ending of the chorus hahah. The juxtaposition between this and High Definition is interesting, basically both songs coming to the same conclusion--not committing to a relationship--but in totally opposite ways. With this one basically being "I won't tell you how I'm feeling, I'll just go write lyrics/sing voice memos/tweet." Is this about the damn pretty Target girl you tweeted about once? "Now I'm living on a target" and "all these aisles feel like miles" hmmmmMMM. This wasn't my favorite when I first heard it but it realllllly grew on me and now I love it. The chorus is so good and I love what you're doing with the music/harmonies in the background of it. Also the dumb shit after "I'll follow" always makes me laugh. Then the dichotomy between this/HD is emphasized in the closing Wedding Singer sample which I feel like represents the fandom; you’re going through this huge emotional turmoil, but we’re reaping the benefits by getting great songs out of it.
7. Group Chat - It works as a goofy little interlude but I also like what it says thematically (if I'm not just pulling this out of my ass anyway). On one hand it seems to me like a commentary on the inanity of some fan group chats, how in some of them they all act like they're best friends but really it's just a surface-level friendship. "My name's [whatever] and we're all friends! :D" and then also with the effect on your voice, seems to imply to me how mentally draining everyone in the fandom can sometimes be on you more so than Geoff and Otto.
8. Turbulent - I know some people just gotta have their metaphors and shit in their lyrics but I love how direct this song is. Just plainly stating things makes them feel so much more raw and real. I can't see how you could more powerfully convey the anger and hurt than with "I'd unfuck you if I could." Also the "sOoOoO" in the second chorus is still best part (also the barks). Also the pitched-down backup vocals are tight in this song, really gets you into the frantic, pissed off headspace.
9. NBA - I like the potential double meaning of the chorus in this one; everyone in LA looks like you cause I'm missing you and seeing you everywhere, but also it’s kind of insulting, like "everyone in LA looks like you, you're not special." But aside from that, another very pretty albeit sad song. The chorus with full instrumentation and harmonies really hits hard. I also like the 11:11 connection with tying breath in knots; you're always really great at bringing back recurring images and lines in your writing, it makes your discography feel really connected and like you're actually writing these things, it's not some producer in a studio writing lyrics for you. These songs all lead into each other; the songs on Fandom could not exist without what came before in DD and Entertainment. That evolution is always really interesting to see, how these different motifs recur and change their meaning over time. I assume the main metaphor of this might also be a callback to Crybaby with “chasing through dreams in bloom.”
10. IMHSBALIDWDA - Definitely one of my favorites, it's just so damn fun. And once again some cool vocal effect you have going on in the background, which I always love. The lyrics here are fun but also biting; I've been thinking of this as a commentary on how fans don't really care about an artist's well-being or life even if they try to act like they do, they just want new songs and good performances and new merch etc. etc. no matter what it means the artist is going through or how they feel when they sing these emotionally devastating songs. So the chorus to me is kinda like a self-care anthem in a way, setting aside all the negative stuff and admitting to yourself hey, at least I feel kind of better now; maybe not entirely better, but I'm getting there.
11. War Crimes - Another song with sad lyrics but musically it goes so damn hard, another favorite. "I'm forgetting how to hate myself" is one of my favorite lyrics on the album, as is "My death will be the fandom." I don't even totally know what to say about this song cause sooo much is going on and it's just crazy. "Let's go!" is also a favorite moment. And the "I saved my own life" calling back to Not Warriors is tight.
12. [Reboot] - Hey is "I need to sleep alone" a reference to Sleep Alone!!!!!?!???? I've already talked to you about this song a lot too so I don't have much new to say. The vocal effect on the bridge is dope. The breaths before verse 2 are maybe my favorite part, as well as what you do on "all on you" including holding out "you" into the chorus. And whatever's going on in the background at the end of that second chorus, I can't tell if it's vocals or instruments or what, but it sounds really cinematic and cool.
13. Worst - This new version is so cool, it has so much texture that the demo didn't. Vocals are also really pretty. The added bass and electronics really add a lot of rhythm and an interesting vibe to this; the bass is almost jazzy in a way? But then the electronics/percussion are almost like a dance beat but really stripped down? I dunno, it's such an odd combination, especially with the guitar just being acoustic. One of the most interesting songs on the album sonically despite being comparatively "simple" at first listen.
14. Zone Out - My least fave just because it's such a simple interlude, but what I like that it does is like...basically comments on the preceding songs I guess? It's like a question to the listener. At the beginning you've got Dream Boy setting up their expectations, then this comes at the very end and essentially asks them, "After hearing all of these angry heartbroken songs, am I still your dream boy? Do you still think love exists because of me even though I've gone through all this and don’t believe in it myself?" I like that it makes the listener confront their previous feelings and expectations before we dive into the finale.
15. IFYWWM - First off I absolutely love the effect you put on the vocals at the start of this, especially with how that effect abruptly cuts off; it's so weird and interesting and I never get tired of hearing it. The difference between the demo and this final version is amazing, I love this song. And "I said I loved you to death so I must be dead" is such a great one-two punch; it hits hard as a "fuck you!" line with being a way to say you don't love her anymore, but then you realize how sad it is that the effect has been this emotional death that pervades the entire album and eventually leads right back into Cherry Red. Which is also a depressing ending; it's so abrupt without any closure about anything talked about on the album, and the way that it circles back into the opener kind of implies to me that maybe there's a sense of circularity to everything, it's unending, the songs will always be fueled by heartbreak and the emotional trauma will never go away and dealing with it in the public eye of the fandom will always be overbearing.
http://www.travismriddle.com/blog/2019/10/29/toxic-fandom-public-heartbreak-and-the-feedback-loop
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startrekvigilant · 6 years ago
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So what was the 21st century in Star Trek.
 We spent the early 2000s recovering from The Augments and their very near-totalitarian rule over humans. We develop technology, like the Millennium Gate in 2012 (Star Trek: Voyager), a superstructure that would serve as a prototype for space colonization.
 By the mid-to-late 2020s we had continued our development of ships that would eventually surpass the model we banished Khan and his like in. But it was becoming increasingly clear that another world war was happening.
 In fact, World War III broke out in 2026, apparently due to an “Eastern Coalition” making a direct attack on the United States of America (Star Trek: First Contact). The ensuing years the war went on with differing levels of intensity and size, and the world became steadily more violent, as many famous riots and upheavals spread through Europe (Unified Ireland, The Next Generation, The Bell Riots, Deep Space Nine). 
In the 2030s earth made a few select manned missions to mars. (Apparently around this time the United States added two new states to their union, and why the hell not they were probably on the moon and on mars. I doubt this made other countries happy, it probably escalated the fighting and enveloped other nations, adding to the tensions the world had been experiencing since 1996, the end of the Eugenics War). 
The United Nations reshapes itself due to the changes on earth since its initial creation, and the New United Nations feebly tries to sort out our problems. It did not do very well for itself, obviously. World War III was a fact now and earth was in trouble. Space-faring technology is pursued with renewed fervor, with ships of people attempting to explore further and further out of our solar system. Perhaps these many attempts to further star ship tech was due to a spreading fear that things might be coming to a violent end on earth? Most likely.
 In the 2040s we see more colonies popping up on the moon, safe from the horrifying destruction that was breaking out on the planets surface. But it only continued to escalate. Now, whatever happened to the people on these off world colonies is not specified, but if the fighting is as bad as we think it is, and if it was fought primarily with nuclear weapons, maybe we stopped caring about these off-world colonies. Maybe sending them food and supplies was getting too bothersome. These colonies were most likely abandoned, or they scraped by on meager rations, waiting for the fighting to end. 
The years 2039 to 2050 don’t really have any significant events in official trek canon, but I’m going to go on record and say it was eleven years of complete global warfare. By 2050 things calmed down, and many thought the worst was over, but then the nuclear strikes began in earnest, destroying thousands of cities and millions of lives.  
Then in 2053 it suddenly stops. 
The war ended because there was nothing left, and all who perpetuated the violence were dead. There are attempts to pick ourselves back up again, but any form of government that existed before the outbreak of war was gone. Civilization actually crumbled, it was the end of the world. Just like in the movies! The death toll is set somewhere around 600 million officially…but I think it’s low. This was the first real nuclear war right? All the stockpiles of warheads collected over the cold war and beyond…this was the war where those missiles destroyed cities, wiped nations right off the map. How many nations have warheads? How many warheads do they have? The imagined damage is catastrophic.
The years following are every dystopian fiction writers dream! Scattered bands of irradiated wary humans, scraping by in tents on the fringes of giant holes in the ground that were once major cities. A lot of information about who we were before all the mindless fighting was lost. So that’s a good cop out reason to explain was the canon is so spotty? But pretty much by 2060 human civilization had taken a major turn. People lived nomadically, independently, in a strange sort of dazed anarchy. Like I dunno, I think a lot of people might have died, a lot of important people, so we really were at an all time low. 
But there were still scientists and scholars, entertainers and trades people. Humanity was still alive, but there wasn’t much left. Amongst them was Zefram Cochrane, the eventual inventor of warp drive on earth. Canon is once again spotty, he most likely started his physical experiments in 2060, but who knows how long he had been working on his calculations for.
2063 is when everything changed for the human race.
Zefram caught the attention of the vulcans! What a one in a million shot! It was mind blowing! It was astounding! It freaking changed the rotation of the planet, it boiled the oceans, it drove us all to madness, man it was BIG. Aliens! On earth! In front of humans! Talking to us! With language! That we were able to understand! And they us! My! God! 
Like, it doesn’t take much thinking to realize how much this changes everything. But it’s also hard, yanno? These aliens seem so like us, but everything we do confuses them and everything they do bewilders us. They see our smouldering planet, nearly destroyed, still fraying along the edges and think “my god, emotions will destroy everything.” we’re just confused. No emotions? How. We talk to them and are upset by their unchanging face, they give us no visual cues, and they hardly move their eyebrows. This is difficult!  
And on top of this we feel like small children around them. But by comparison our species is! They’ve been out in space doing the space thing for eons. Eons! They’ve actually traveled through space for so long that a very large fraction of their population split off and settled themselves in a different star system and stayed there so long they evolved into an entirely new species. Romulans! Those cunning cousins to the Vulcan race that will one day become one of our most notorious enemies. 
But we don’t meet them until the 23rd century. And you wanna know why? It’s cuz the vulcans don’t trust us and the vulcans hide a lot of their information from us because it’s unsafe to let a species as primitive as us in on their technologies and knowledge. It’s kind of dark, isn’t it? 
Some might feel like the vulcans are disgusted by us, but feel obligated to us. They might find us clingy and I really don’t think they’ve interacted with other species like they find themselves doing with us. Seriously, we’re dating. Or they’ve become our parents? Or like, our mentors? I don’t know but one year after first contact humanity finally sees itself getting back on its feet. We go from living on the fringes of nuclear waste sites to building universities and sending ships of people to explore the stars.
Large groups of people leave earth entirely, going off to discover new lands, and new peoples in the name of earth. Sometimes these encounters don’t end so well for us. We’re new to the space game. 
We meet a race of wolf-like creatures, the Kzinti, and they bully us until we fight back. These battles amount to no more than schoolyard antics, really. In 2065 the SS Valiant is launched on an interstellar mission to the furthest reaches of the galaxy. Almost as an omen for the years to come, the Valiant is lost and never heard from again (or at least not until 2265). 
So we don’t know how exactly it came to be formed, but by 2067 United Earth was sending probes out into space in order to learn more of the life out there. Vulcans would not share their technology or their information of space life, so it was up to us to get the ball rolling. 
The Friendship 1 was a probe like the ancient Voyager I, meant to inform extra-terrestrials of life on Earth, our language and customs. Basically we were already getting bored with the vulcans and their rules, and wanted to meet more fun aliens, aliens who were down to party.
By 2069, far away from Earth the Kzinti pick on us for the last time. Humans finally defeat the Kzinti and they finally agree to stop attacking us. It’s an important moment for humans in space. We’ve been out here for such a short time but we were finally able to stand up for ourselves. We governed and were listened to. It changed us, I guess. 
So now we’ve stretched our legs, we’ve been picked on by aliens and fought back; we’re ready to colonize. Well, the vulcans don’t think so, they’re still weirded out by us, think us too dramatic. And our home planet is still a mess. There’s still a weird sense of dystopian cruelty hanging in the air, and I guess a lot of people are looking to move out. 
We want to meet more aliens, but we can’t take them back to our place, it’s too embarrassing. So expeditions to find a kind of replacement earth begin. Our starships were still in their infancy, only capable of warp factor one. But we wanted people to get excited about this technology, so we began high-profile searches for New Earths. 
The SS Conestoga is launched to bring 200 colonizers on a nine-year mission to Terra Nova, where they would immediately dismantle the ship and use it to build their new colony. So you see, technology is still very limited. It’s faster than our previous technology, but it still takes a good while to reach our destination. 
Humanity is becoming spread thin is what I’m saying. 
Some humans go out to explore far reaches of space and are lost. Others venture out to meet new civilizations and are greeted with years of warfare with an alien race. Others still board starships to find home on new planets only to end up stranded. It’s a tumultuous time.  But still, we explore. We don’t let the hardships stop us because they never have before. 
The SS Conestoga reaches its destination in 2078, and the Terra Nova colonies of humans begin. Now we can clearly see a divide forming between space-exploring humans, off-world colonists and Earth-bound humans. And the rift will only widen from here on out. 
The mindset is that now we’re able to explore strange new worlds then why waste time cleaning up earth? Because everyone is busy dealing with official space business, earth is once again left to rot.
By 2079 in some parts of the globe, things are pretty much back to being dystopic shambles, and all “United Earth nonsense” is brushed off the table. Humanity forgot about earth! It’s supposed to be a new, bright era for humanity, but our home is still on fire. And the distain for earth is palpable.
By 2083 the United Earth space agency planned to send 200 more colonists off of wasteland earth to the new Terra Nova colony, but the original colonists had grown so fiercely independent they were now actively aggressive towards Earth. 
I bet vulcans watching from the sidelines were just amazed at the boundlessness of humans distrust of one another. Honestly. We’re our own worst enemy. We’re still shell shocked, we’re still not over the last centuries of violence and war with each other. And now we’re forced to deal with aliens? It’s a bad scene man; we’re not dealing well. 
Things are pretty quiet during most of the 2080s, but by 2090 we’ve started to industrialize more planets and moons in our solar system. 
The last decade of the 21st century is mostly filled with confusion and exploration, much of earth is still ungoverned, we’ve lost contact with our largest off-world colony and we’re realizing we know next to nothing about space and the aliens that populate it.
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curupiracue · 6 years ago
Text
The Reporter’s Crows, and a Truth-seeking Deception
Sigh…
Couldn’t find anyone, huh…
“Hm. I wonder what Nim is doing?”
Though I wonder, I can likely guess… Probably “fooling around” (I mean, it’s studying, but even that is fooling around given the circumstances), and that is assuming he is awake already… Yeaahhh… Probably not.
I mean, it’s pretty handy for me that he is such a sleepyhead, even if I don’t sleep that much… But still.
Sigh…
Crááá!
“Huh? That a crow?”
Hmmm… A crow, huh... No way. I’m just overthinking things. ...But then again, when Nim was rambling about this city, didn’t he mention all the bird species living on the region? He didn’t mention crows at all, so unless this is someone’s pet...
“I mean, it’s my pet, you know.”
Oh, great.
“That has got to be rudest “hello” ever.” I say, turning around to face her.
“You live and travel alongside that sorry excuse for a human being. Thought you’d have heard worst by now.” Not towards me, at least. That’s what I think of saying, but she turns her attention to the crow and cuts me off “Oh hey there, Jesus! Any news?”
“Uh, you have a crow named Jesus?” some random guy passing by asked.
“Well, what would you name a crow?”
“Uh, I dunno’... Bob, birdie, blackey, Shadow’s Night?”
“You’re boring. Get out of my sight.” And so the man did, feeling humiliated and intimidated.
“Poor guy…”
“Pff. Anyway, it looks like Jesus has nothing to report… you can keep flying, dearie!” With that, the crow went off flying.
“...How many of those things do you have?”
“100. But I only treat 10 of them as pets, else, I would get saddened with their deaths.” I wonder if she meant more or less a 100, or precisely that number, but I quickly abandon the train of thought. I didn’t much care for that. More importantly…
“Well, I don’t really like seeing you here. If you and Nim meet, I’m afraid one or the other will end up dead.”
“Why! How insulting… I think it’s pretty clear who would die in such a confrontation...”
“Yeah, you.”
She glared at me. ...Best not to provoke her too much. She’s way stronger than I am, after all. Even if her power is directed less towards combat.
“Sigh, this isn’t to the point though. More importantly, though I don’t like seeing you here, I think you might actually be needed. We’re having trouble making any progress with so few clues to go by.”
“Well, that’s obvious. Even more obvious, is that, given some time, I could find the serial killer. Or, rather, I WILL find ‘em. Now the question is… If it is so, then why the hell should I ally myself with you guys?”
“Well, you showed up… you must have had a reason for that. Unless that reason was just mocking me.”
“Yup, that’s it actually~”
Now was my turn to glare at her.
“Hahahahah! Gee, chill. Even I’m not about to stand by and let such a fucked up murderer get away. And though I could do it by myself, I’d better get some allies. ...Even if these allies include an asshole.”
“Yeah. You’re birds of a feather.”
“...Correction. TWO assholes. I’ll be going now... Should anything come up I’ll contact you (alone, preferably hundreds of meters away from you-know-who)” She started walking away, but with with a certain air that convinced me she had more to say. Though I wasn’t sure if I should, I stayed put waiting.
Turns out, I was right.
“Oh yeah, and that guy who passed by and talked shit about Jesus totally wanted to bone you. You should go right ahead, since you and Mr. I-should-die-soon are not a thing yet, somehow. Ok, now really, be seeing you!”
...Totally not gonna’ do that NOW.
(sigh) I’d better get going. Nim couldn’t possibly be still sleeping. ...Maybe.
Well, I needed a walk to get my thoughts in order anyway, so…
Wims Fourth. A journalist who took on various cases and researched all sorts of weird incidents to try and get good material. She’s generally pretty neutral, which alongside with her unpleasant personality makes her hard to work with… but, those things are just minor impediments. If they weren’t, well, there wouldn’t be any sort of cooperation or friendship in this mental world. No, the real problem is her mutual grudge with Nim.
As for why they hate each other so much, well, that’s a long story. So much so, that I haven’t heard all of the details yet. Suffice it to say though, that although they’re both surprisingly reasonable for jerks, that reasonable goes out the window when they’re together. I wasn’t joking when I told her that one of them might do something they would regret when together.
But in spite of that, it’s good that she got involved. She’s clever, and her genius brings along some powerful utility constructions as well: apart from secret police crows, she can also summon film tape of a person’s memories and rapidly look through them. Since the construction needs to sneak into someone’s mind to take the information from there before copying it and bringing it to her, you can theoretically block it, but… it’s not like she’s erasing the memories or tampering with them in any way. She’s just sneaking inside and walking quietly, basically. Since it’s so sneaky, and simple enough she can focus on making it even more sneaky, you’d need to be much stronger than her to even detect it, let alone block it.
I don’t think there’s anyone who fits the bill. Not even Nim or that serial killer.
So, in other words, there’s a door right in front of me.
...Wait, I think I got lost in thought. Almost ran face-first on the door.
“Huh? Yo, Novalue, you here?” Nim “said” through a psychic message.
“Sure am” I send in response.
“...You didn’t ran face-first on the door, now, did you?”
“Nope.”
“Then, did you almost do that?”
“Of course not. I just got surprised because I suddenly remembered I wanted to buy some donuts, is all.” I lie spontaneously but carefully
Suddenly Nim opens the door.
...Holding a wallet.
“Oh, ok~ Sorry for thinking bad of you. Also, you left your wallet home, dumbass! Documents aren’t important because the police is made of weak shits, but what would you do if you wanted to buy something?!”
I take the wallet, and enter.
“Soooo~ anything to report?”
“I met Wims.”
(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)
Suddenly, I feel like grabbing a few knives and going all Adam Lanza. No, but it was guns… Nim, you FUCKING DUMBASS!
Anyway.
“Did you tell her to go die?”
“‘Afraid it would have the opposite effect.”
“Should have called me then~ I could be the Diomedes to your Nestor~”
“Do I really have to be Nestor…?”
“Huh? Well… Achilleus to Patroklus?”
“Wait, I’d be dead then.”
I clasped my hands and smiled with malice:
“Your corpse is worthy a rescue~”
“...So, anyway. About Wims...” Suddenly, I got in a bad mood.
“Yeah, yeah I know. Just don’t go about expecting too much, yes?” Novalue was about to speak, but I shot him a discreet glare, and complemented the “shut the fuck up” with additional flow of information “More pressingly, let’s go take a look at the police files again! There ought to be a few left, né?!”
“You just want to take a look at the files again, don’t you?”
“Nein...”
“(sigh) Fine, let’s go.”
We walked towards the precinct without a care in the world. But who needs care when you have style? Surely the passerby were gazing at our mutual beauty with much envy~!
Upon getting there though...
“Wait, you’re the ones from yester- yes, of course we can provide the files for usage. Also, Nim, you’re the greatest that has ever lived: I can’t even imagine how one might surpass your fundamentally lofty and superior existence.”
Novalue gave me a glare. Well, maybe not a glare, but a Novalue glare. Most people would think he was feeling sleepy or some shit
“Nim. That last part was unnecessary.”
“Whatever moooom!” I replied, waltzing and skipping towards our destination. I suddenly stopped, however, as if remembering something.
“Então tipo, hey, Novalue! Can you tipo, like, uh, go ahead and shtuff? I need to do something here first~” Novalue looked at me with distrust:
“You’re not gonna’ do something awful now, are you?”
“By the love of the T bearded idiot crow Novalue! Have some more trust in me, yeah?! I feel like a train going to a station full of passengers wantingtogotoanotheroneandexpecti-AHHHHHH” I inhale “Ugh, fuck, I couldn’t say all of it at once. POINT IS. You should trust me more!” I finish with a pout.
“That, however, doesn’t answer the question.”
“No, I’m not gonna do anything awful.”
That seemed to convince him. Hey, I wasn’t lying! I was about to do something justified, not awful.
“Heeey, Mr. Guaaaard~”
“Huh? I’m not a guard, technically, and I do have a name you kn-”
“Oh golly. The magic trick wore off, great. (sigh) Individuality is wasted on you, not gonna’ lie. I mean, the same can be said about me, but… Mmmm, I’m awesome and you’re not. So, whatever you. Is what I’d say, or just think. But, ya’ know. Uh, not sure how much you actually remember from yesterday, since I wasn’t the one on memory-wiping duty, buuuut. I, the great ME am still with my memories intact~”
“Memories…? Ah! Then, you must be the one alongside that fagg-”
Suddenly, his body feels light and his head is slammed at the table. Totally not by me.
“YOU DAMN PIECE OF SHIT! YOU MESSING WITH ME, HUH?! YOU’D BETTER START THANKING ME FOR SHOVING YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE, ‘CAUSE IF I HADN’T SHOVED YOUR HEAD INTO THE SURFACE OF THIS TABLE AND INSTEAD ALLOWED YOU TO FINISH THAT WORD, YOU’D BE FACING REPERCUSSIONS OF A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!” I threw his body back into the chair “YOU DAMN WASTEFUL SACK OF MEAT!” I turn my gaze to a mug of coffee alongside it’s ingredients “Oooh, coffee.”
“Man, coffee sure is bitter. I can’t take mine without tons of sugar. Generally, if I am to make coffee, it’s for Novalue, so I’m more experienced with making black coffee, though. Here, lemme’ make some.” I add in enough coffee for it to become saturated “Ah, whooops. Maybe a teeeensy bit to much.” I throw the sugar at the floor “won’t be needing that. Let your family feast on it. Now, say “aaaaah!””
“aaaaah!? GuulphgMMMM!”
“Theeeeere weee... go.” with a jerk of my hand, I break the mug on his mug, cutting just the right amount of flesh, before pushing his chair to it’s limits and making him fall to the ground.
Pom.
“Ouch, that looked like it hurt. But see, you could have broken something. If we had met, say, an year back, you definitely would have. Which reminds me, I’ll be taking this key.” I pick up the key for the emergency exit “Wait, I didn’t beat you that bad… I’ll be leaving this key.” I put the key back on his pocket. Would be bad if someone got trapped and they needed it… Though that’s not the reason I did this, it’s just that I realized Novalue wouldn’t much mind this.
Speaking of him…
“Yo! Novalue, I’m coming~”
I open the door and find him looking through some documents. He then looks at me, seeming bored and closes the file.
(The prism spins, and senseless light is reflected with a different sense)
Well, he sure took his time… can’t trust him to have kept that promise. Not that I much care. I close the file.
“It’s no use. Honestly, I’m thinking the killer must have some sort of connection to the police: sure, accessing the file wouldn’t be a problem regardless, but in order to be this through… if not a policeman, then maybe a lawyer or a judge.”
“Seems likely. I’m, uhh, guessing you didn’t find anything?”
“Nope.” I went to store the file away. “This whole trip is seeming useless to me… Maybe we should visit the regist-?”
“Hm? Whazis’?” Nim interrupts me, picking a file.
“What’s with that file?”
“Dunno’. Felt a little ajar to me, though I’m not sure why...” Hmm… though he alternates between not trusting it and boasting it to the point of unreasonability, Nim has a remarkable intuition. Might as well see where it leads. “Sebhbos Mmsseptnote? Ugh. Just looking at the photo disgusts me. Wonder if he was some jerk I met and forgot?”
“...I really doubt you’d forget something like this.”
“Tee hee~ Weeelll. Even for my most grand majesty, it could be possible… have I met him as a child, perchance?”
“Well, is it anything interesting?”
“Nah. He visited this city a long time ago. So not much is said. Doubt it’s him we’re looking for.”
“...If you say so… In that case, let’s look some more”
“Yes, captain!”
(Time passes...)
Well, today was an useless day. Every day felt like one, but this one actually was.
...And to top it all off, it seems Nim has no intention of letting me sleep.
“Wake up. Up up up.”
“Ugh...” I wanted to ask what time it was, but I had no energy to do it. Luckily, Nim was able to guess:
“4:14 and 57 seconds. Figured this time would be safest. Now get your head out of that pillow: I’m pretty damn cranky that I couldn’t have my intelligence sleep.”
“Mmm… safest?” I ask, still refusing to let go of the pillow.
“Yes. Thing is, that serial killer has been following us all day.”
“What…?” the news remove a bit of my sleepiness, but far from all of it; I am, however, now alert enough.
“It started with a bad feeling… so I decided to try searching using the Mental World, as well as paying close attention to everyone around us, though never actually intentionally doing it. And guess what, though I couldn’t see him well, nor properly identify him, there was always this sharply-dressed, thirty-something blonde man around, as well as a constant presence of a monstrous power that, although contained, I eventually identified as being his...”
“Before anything else… how powerful is he?”
“About… as powerful as me. ...P-Probably superior”
Huh… that makes him way more powerful than I am. Well, whatever. About Nim though...
“Don’t get anxious about it. First of all, there is an age discrepancy. Secondly, he probably doesn’t have much combat experience… or any sort of on-the-field experience with the Mental World. And finally… I’m here with you.”
He reacted simultaneously well and unwell, but didn’t complain. Probably because it was more of the former than the latter, and he was too sleepy for that.
“Well… So, about the plan.”
“Yes?”
“Basically...”
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