#lame headcanons

[novaneondream]

Anyways what kind of music do you think Eri listens to

[licorishh]

double ?? upload ???? yeaaaahh i've gotten FASTERRrr for whatever that's worth so complementary blyla because guess what i miss them too (nobody was surprised by that)

[seapott]

A simplified version of the itoshi bros fight is just

Rin: you’ve changed

Sae: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LAME ASS KYS SKILL ISSUE L BOZO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU EAT SHIT DIE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU HATE YOU FUCK YOU YOU STINK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU STUPID BASTARD FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU SUCK FUCK YOU DUMBASS PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU SHUT UP FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LOSER FUCK YOU UNLOVED FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Rin: …what the hell ni-chan

Sae: I was joking chill

[katsettee]

Little brother meets GF (don’t ask how they just do)

I am obsessed with drawing midna in little gremlin mode btw you will rarely see her otherwise

Extra devastation sils

[animeomegas]

I'm hot shit and so is my alpha: Bakugou, Todoroki, Monoma, Mic

My alpha is so much cooler than me, wow: Midoriya, Kirishima, Denki

I am so much cooler than my alpha, how did I end up with this nerd (affectionate): Shinsou, Dabi

We're both lame as hell, and that's the way I like it: Aizawa

Please assume both my alpha and I are decent and normal, thank you: Sero, Iida, Toshinori

I don't deserve my alpha, but now I have them, you can pry them out of my cold dead hands: Hawks

All of the above in a continuous cycle, bar the normal part: Shiggy

[itsriotmotherfuckers]

When Harry is born, Sirius is dead terrified of holding him. He will do literally anything to avoid it. He spills hot coffee on his arm when Lily offers the first time, playing it off as an accident. He lies that he hurt his elbow in a battle when James tries to hand Harry over. He casts a wordless, wandless spell on his arm to cover it in rashes, saying he shouldn’t, just in case it’s contagious, when Remus tries to pass Harry to him. He comes up with excuses every single time. He lies to Lily, to James, to Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, Emmeline, Frank, Alice, and everyone else who comes into contact with Harry and him.

Everyone, after two months of this, assumes that Sirius just doesn’t like babies and isn’t willing to say it to them, for some reason. When James finally corners him, handing him Harry because “he’s your godson! You can’t go your entire life avoiding him. How do you expect to bond with him if you won’t even let him hold your finger?” Sirius awkwardly holds the kid, every muscle in his body tense, tears in his eyes, shaking, genuinely petrified. James takes Harry back and finally presses Sirius until he spills.

Sirius adores Harry. He doesn’t love kids, generally, but his nephew, his godson, is the exception. That doesn’t change the fact that he is terrified of the idea of hurting Harry. He’s so scared that his upbringing has permanently fucked something in his brain up and, if he gets into close contact with a kid, that something will be triggered. He’s terrified that he, if presented with an innocent, sweet, adorable child, could become the monsters that raised him.

[aquamonstra]

Imagine our beloved Lt. Commander Data learning about the concept of "doing something as a bit" in his quest to understand humor.

He starts carrying around a pocket full of loose bolts, washers, any random little metal bits he finds.

Anytime someone asks him about it, he just looks them straight in the eye and deadpan says, "Snacks."

So far only Riker and Geordi have laughed, but one sweet and gullible young ensign brought him a dull tungsten carbide drill bit "as a treat."

[kittykatninja321]

Not to rehash this discourse so close to his birthday but genuinely what other mysterious unnamed trauma of Jason’s is Bruce referring to in bftc if not csa? We know that:

It’s something that happened to him

It’s something that happened to him pre-Bruce, so it presumably could’ve happened while he was an extremely vulnerable unsupervised homeless child

It’s something associated with secrecy and shame: Jason only told Bruce about it and freaks out about Dick playing his hologram talking about it

It’s something that affected him profoundly, Bruce says it left him “broken” (ugh side note: hate this language) and he seems to get retriggered by it being brought up again

What other trauma is coded like this besides sexual assault? Like genuinely I have yet to hear an answer that fits as well or better

[jevilowo]

How the mercs would play tf2

Scout is a Heavy main bc he likes the POWER. He tried playing as himself but kept dying bc of low health and got pissed. Constantly yelling for Medic. The 124hp disease is eternal.

Soldier only plays as himself because it's American. Keeps ragequitting. Can't figure out how to rocket jump in game. Has broken 79284654 keyboards in rage.

Pyro plays as themself mostly, but I can see them messing around as other classes on occasion. I think they'd get a kick out of playing Medic sometimes. Still, they're mostly themself and one of those players you think are friendlies bc they do mannrobics over and over but then they unleash fiery death upon you.

Demo would try to play himself but accidentally clicks on a different class and ends up being really good at that too despite being absolutely fucking hammered. Can't aim meelees for shit (just like me fr) but is alright with regular guns. Especially enjoys the wonders of w + m1ing people as Pyro.

Heavy plays himself obviously. Don't think he'd be into playing anyone else, except maybe as medic to pocket his sisters if they played (Zhanna is also a Heavy main btw). He'd be really bad at first but get good really fast. Always remembers to throw sandviches to the medics like (gigachad)

Engie would only play himself, but I think he'd get distracted thinking of ways to improve the game. Only plays in five minute bursts and spends the rest of his time building mods to improve The Experience. Pyro guards his buildings vigilantly between these bursts and they rarely crumble under their watchful gaze and neon sign of sapper destruction.

Medic plays himself mostly, but usually as a battle medic. Ze healing is not as rewarding and all that. I think he'd also be into the POWER (like Scout) of playing massive damage dealing classes (like Pyro, Heavy and Soldier) because again. Hurting.

Sniper would only play himself no exceptions. Slowly evolves into one of those 3000hr 4channer sniper mains and gets ridiculously competitive about the whole thing. Gets so caught up in headshotting he forgets he has a secondary weapon and meelee and dies easily to spies.

Spy abhors the game as a whole, especially playing himself, as it doesn't "accurately portray the intricacies of being a spy" or whatever. Plays occasionally to troll under an alt account but tell no one or he'll fuck your mother.

Miss Pauling would enjoy playing Demo I think, going off vibes alone, but she'd get a kick out of Scout on 2fort matches specifically because it's Efficient for Objective Completion.

Admin is, like Spy, beyond such frivolities. If she ever bothered I think she'd enjoy Sniper or Spy as she too spends a lot of time Staring.

Saxton Hale only plays on his own mode, and as Heavy when not as himself. Hes really fucking annoying about it.

Like I said, Zhanna's defo a Heavy main, but plays Soldier sometimes to bond with her husband. She's way better than him, obviously.

Merasmus hates Soldier and will ragequit any match with Soldiers in them which means he doesnt play often. When he does, however, he likes to be a Demoknight.

Scout's Ma plays Pyro. Like Ms Pauling, this is vibes alone, but she'd also play Spy and Scout sometimes as they are her boyfriend/son.

Grey Mann wouldn't play he'd just infest the game with more bots because he sucks like that.

[astaroth1357]

Hot take: Lucifer makes miscellaneous Dad Noises.

->Constantly clears his throat in increasingly off-putting ways while reading the newspaper.

->Random disruptive nose sniffs that carry throughout the whole room.

->Does that full body, "Here we fucking go again..." exhale whenever he's got to get up from a low seat or the floor.

->His joints creak and pop at even the most mundane amount of strain.

->Yawns from deep within his chest like Chewbacca.

->And my favorite: muttering under his breath ALL. THE. TIME. From all of his disgruntled complaints about his brothers to just the random stuff he has to get done for the day. Sometimes he'll even unknowingly announce that he's going to the bathroom because sleep deprivation puts him so far into autopilot.

[spacebubblehomebase]

I just noticed, in your HHStargazers AU no one has pupils - except for Alastor and, if she's canon, Carmilla. Does that mean slit pupils are a sign of a demon in disguise?

Good eye! 👈👈👀 (Pun unintended.) Though I don't really plan for this trait to be repeatedly shared amongst the disguised demons. Mostly to not limit my designs to an obvious tell. But the slit pupils were indeed intentional flaws I added in for those two in particular. Because according to MY headcanon, both angels and demons are beings beyond human comprehension. Thus, it's only to be expected that even when they TRY to fit in, they'll be unable to keep EVERY aspect of their uncanny nature concealed. At best, they're imperfect imitations of what "normal" should be. It just so happens that in my AU, angels have a much easier time concealing most of their little quirks and oddities away than the sinners for my own reasons and as for WHY no one ever grew suspicious of the eye thing, it's because Charlie's curiosity could be easily curved. While for Lucius to point this out, he'll have to admit that he's been staring at Alastor's eyes a lot whenever he gets close enough to drown in the depths of his gaze and- EHEM!!! Which he's NEVER done, mind you! AhahaHAH- What slit pupils??? Never noticed those before. Nuh-uh. NO siree. NOPE! Lucius is normally so, SO normal about Alastors VERY much normal eyes in a TOTALLY normal amount of normal. A-ANYWAAAYS!!! Lucius would also be a hypocrite if he was bothered by them considering his own occupation and the people he's usually surrounded by (yet to be revealed). As for the other humans, Alastor doesn't care enough about their opinions for it to be a threat to him and people often just avoid the guy unnerving them with his creepy ass stare. So it's all good! Hope you like these bonus fun facts! 'Cause I have a feeling I left you with just as much questions as answers, but that's the fun of an ongoing story, yeah? Stay tuned~! 😉✨️ -Bubbly💙

[shima-draws]

Thinking about the reactions Ace and Sabo would have to finding out Luffy’s in love with Sanji;; Honestly Ace being the overprotective one is probably more in character but it would be so fucking funny if Ace just catches Luffy staring at Sanji for a little too long and decides he’s going to be his little brother’s ultimate wingman. He’s COMMITTED and he’s going to sneakily create SO many romantic moments for Luffy to take advantage of. But Sabo,, Sabo turns out to be the overprotective one LMAO he sees Sanji smile softly at Luffy one (1) time and he’s like oh HELL no, not MY little brother. Ace tries to set them up, Sabo tries to…SABOtage them ;)))))

Even more hilarious is if this is happening at the same time. Luffy is oblivious but Sanji’s inwardly questioning what the hell is going on bc every time he THINKS there’s a romantic situation blossoming between them, absolute disaster strikes right after. Meanwhile in the background Ace and Sabo are arguing (“Stop fucking everything up you’re ruining all my plans!!” “Luffy’s far too young to have a boyfriend, are you kidding me right now?” “He’s NINETEEN Sabo get over it!!” “Not until that cook wins my approval and right now it’s not looking good for him” “ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS. Sabs do you HEAR yourself rn”)

They are silly and I love them

[itsmemuffy]

Give me old geezer Logan. Not old man! Logan. I'm talking about "young," fresh faced Logan who is stubborn and stuck in his ways.

Who barely knows how to work a phone and doesn't understand texting etiquette (it takes him minutes to even type out a single sentence)

Logan who gets frustrated by modern slang and pop culture references

Who thinks himself to be so suave and cool, but is about 30 years behind current trends (at best)

Logan who nags and lectures the kids (and sometimes his peers) about the quote-unquote good 'ol days

Who has accumulated so much knowledge about nature and survival and gives unsolicited advice as soon as these topics arise

Logan who thrives on routine and has the same bland breakfast every day: coffee (black) and two slices of toast

Who values silence and simplicity- his favorite way to destress is on a bench in the shade whittling away at a slab of wood

Logan who often finds himself falling asleep on the recliner, book still in hand, whose snoring could wake the dead

Who refuses to throw anything away- insisting it can be repaired or repurposed. If he does throw something away, he replaces it with an exact copy

In short, no matter how handsome he is or how impressive his skills are, Logan is always an old geezer at heart ♡

[a-candle-maker]

not tagging the person bcs i don't want to call anyone out but like,,,, saw this one girl and her post formatting made it even look like a chatgpt generated thing... checked her other stuff to see and they all had that one formatting... thought i'd tell her and like. babe. you turning off asks just about confirms it for me, i mean imma just guess that you noticed lots of asks telling you the same and decided we're sooooooooo mean!! and ignored it

[letterex-fyofm]

hq first years playing basketball hc

Because after that one haikyuu CD drama of class 3 vs class 4, my head has been swarming with ideas and scenarios and I couldn't let another year pass without writing them down.

btw, this is as if they were in P.E class and playing a silly basketball match.

Kageyama

would absolutely try to set the ball into the hoop. He would like, win five points straight by setting until the other team started complaining about how that was illegal

he would still pass the ball as if doing a horizontal set though.

gets a bit thrown off because his opponents are LAUNCHING at him instead of standing two good meters away from him behind the safety of a net

again with passing, he just would be so analytical about who to pass? and his teammates would be like "JUST PASS THE BALL" but it is so difficult for him to focus when the ball is repeatedly trying to get taken away from him that he just passes it to whoever is next

one time, that person was tsukishima (other team) and kageyama almost died of frustration

he is the type to be setting the basketball while in breaks. he will later try to set a volleyball and ricochet it straight up to the ceiling and be surprised at how light it is

Hinata

he's so damn fast. like, he will be on the other side of the court in the blink of an eye.

walks a lot, though. he's teammates both hate him and love him.

soooo good at taking the ball from others. until tsukki calls him a bug that has to crawl to play (kageyama thought it was very funny)

after that, he starts competing with kageyama (who is on his same team) on who can score the most points (kageyama wins and hinata insists his first five points by setting do not count)

when he is on the bench, he will cheer for his team so loudly and have the time of his life.

volunteers to be the one jumping for the ball at the start of each...set? idk the name 😭😭😭. his team doesn't let him, tho.

once, he receives a pass. it hurt him like hell but he said "it was all calculated".

once, he spiked the ball, and it hurt him like hell yet he said "it was all on purpose!" with tears on his eyes.

Tsukki

he's having the time on his life watching hinata and kageyama embarrass themselves over and over again

is forced to do the jumping...and that's like his only contribution to the game.

tries to chat away the time of the game with Yamaguchi, but Yamaguchi gets surprisingly into it so tsukki is kinda standing on a corner like 🧍‍♂️

whenever hinata has the ball, he blocks it and is so annoyingly happy about it. ("try to score, shrimp, let's watch you try it" "TSUKISHIMA, YOU JEKR!")

HE'S JUST SO ANNOYING WITH HIS BLOCKING--like, putting his arms like that

he stops in mortification when yamaguchi says "looks like kageyama and hinata aren't the only ones missing volleyball--wait Tsukki I didn't mean it" (he will never forget nor forgive Yamaguchi for that)

after that, he's pretty useless (doesn't want to run, doesn't want to jump, passes the ball to whoever is closer to him, doesn't try to take it away from anyone) so he gets benched

he has a nice view from the bench though, so it isn't that bad. and with nice view i refer to him watching as Yamaguchi thrives and getting a full-on gay crisis (me too, tsukki, me too)

his peace is ruined after hinata is benched too (because, well, all students need to play and it is just a silly P.E match) he feels less lonely but he will never admit that

Tadashii

he's surprisingly good at the sport because he played it with his cousins before. he is getting way too into it.

he mimics tsukki's blocking in basketball after learning it was legal and indeed a common play.

was so crushed when tsukki got benched ("now I'm going to be all alone" "you didn't even talk to me while I was there" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT")

jokingly told tsukki (mouthed the words) "this ones for you" expecting to absolutely fail. he shockingly managed to score when he was way too far from the hoop. he blushed and died and everything and tsukki just pretended to be cool.

the type to apologize everytime he bumps into someone or does something he things might have hurt anyone.

before tsukki gets benched, he passed the ball to him and tsukki didn't notice it so he got the ball smashed on his stomach. tsukki might have recovered but Yamaguchi will never (very guilty and insisted to take him to the infirmary)

after P.E finished, he would joke and said "it seems that my destiny was basket and not volleyball after all." hinata was not amused. yachi was seriously worried that yamaguchi would leave and gave him a whole stuttered speech. yamaguchi had to assure her like ten times that he would, in fact, not leave the club.

the basketball captain tries to recruit him though. it only makes his rivalry with daichi grow.

Yeah, this whole thing could have been written in fic format, but I was too lazy and too tired and maybe I will someday, but who knows!

[trashgoblin7]

Charles wanted to be called Dead Dude Detectives, but Edwin didn’t understand.