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lerclan · 8 months ago

Text

orange | lando norris

type: smau + written

pairing(s): influencer!reader x lando norris

summary: you wanted to share your love for orange but it ends up with you and an f1 driver having dating rumors which slowly develops and turns out to be true at the end.

warning(s): slightly suggestive at the end

fc: random girlies off of pinterest!

---

ynnn

Liked by amayamoore, lilymhe, and 376,193 others

ynnn in love with orange atm 🧡🐚🪸

tagged: amayamoore

View all 73,618 comments

---

amayamoore LOVE YOU BABESSS 🫶

ynnn LOVE U 2 MAMI😻😻😻

user1 okay girlll we see you with f1

ynnn chat i have no idea what that is

user1 WHAT?? HOW??? ITS LITERALLY ONE OF YOUR PHOTOS AND YOUR FRIENDS W LILY MHE?? 😭😭

ynnn I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT THE AESTHETIC AND AMAYA WAS THE ONE THAT INTRODUCED ME TO LILY. ALL WE EVER TALKED ABOUT WAS GOLF 😔

user1 ohhh 😭😭😭 okay girl eat it up 🙏🙏 ❤️ by author

user2 soft launch??

user3 IN LOVE W ORANGE THE COLOR OR IS THIS A CODE NAME FOR THE DRIVER?

user4 PLSSS WHAT IF ITS A SOFT LAUNCH??

user5 considering that y/n doesnt know what f1 is im not really sure abt this one

user3 what if its like a cover up or something

user4 YEAH FR WHAT IF SHES J PLAYING W US

ynnn 😈😈😈 *author deleted a comment*

user4 OH

user6 OMG NO WAY 😭😭

user3 WE SAW THAT

lilymhe okay come hangout with me when?

amayamoore in 3 days trust.

ynnn girl...where are we going...

amayamoore you wont like it but me and lily will

lilymhe OMG NO WAY?? FR??

amayamoore YESSSS

ynnn chat im lost

user7 okay shes in her wag era ❤️ by author

user7 OOP.

user8 NOT THE SOFT LAUNCH PLSSS

---

landonorris

Liked by mclaren, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 721,917 others

landonorris im orange 😭🧡

View all 112,172 comments

---

carlossainz55 i told you to not do it but you still did it anyways mate

landonorris TO BE FAIR I THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK BETTER SINCE IM ALREADY TAN

carlossainz55 yeah now look at you. you look like an actual papaya. shouldve left that fake tan alone.

charles_leclerc no wonder you looked like that. 😂😂😂

mclaren someones a true dedicated papaya 👀🧡 ❤️ by author

oscarpiastri mate you look like the lorax 😭

landonorris thanks osc...really needed that

user1 LMFAOAOAO IM CRYINGGG

user3 guys aint no way...IS THIS ACTUALLY REAL?? OR LIKE AM I OVERTHINKING 😭😭🙏

user4 NO GIRL I GET IT...IT ACTUALLY MATCHES UP 😭😭😭

user6 WE ALL SAW WHAT Y/N REPLIED WITH 💀

user3 IKR LIKE HER CAPTIONING "in love with orange atm" AND NOW LANDOS CAPTION "im orange" LIKE????

user4 YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING FR

user9 you guys are so delusional 💀 landos talking about him putting on fake tan and it made him orange 💀💀

user3 let us be delusional please 😔

user10 lando has rizz?

user11 y/n and lando lowkey have matching captions

user12 who is y/n?

user11 shes an influencer. shes friends with lily mhe 😄 heres her account @/ynnn

user12 OMG THEY FR DO LOWKEY HAVE MATCHING CAPTIONS...

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user3, user4, and 127,232 others

f1wagnews potential f1 wag in the process? or is it all just a mishap?

View all 12,232 comments

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user3 IM CALLING IT I SWEAR. ❤️ by author

user3 THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE THO... ❤️ by author

user4 FR???

user10 i agree w you guys fully.

---

ynnn

Liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 628,162 others

ynnn no cuz im being fr she actually just kidnapped me and forced me to put on the outfit 😟

tagged: amayamoore

View all 92,717 comments

---

scuderiaferrari please kidnap her more. the garage enjoyed her rant about despicable me 😂❤️

redbullracing were gonna have to bribe her friend to bring her here...that sounds interesting 🧐

mclaren too late we already sent them invites.

scuderiaferrari telling our drivers to crash into you.

ynnn ladies, ladies...relax ive got enough of me to have around 😏

amayamoore get out y/n 😭😭😭

mclaren we dont like to share.

user11 ik y/n got lost about 50 times im calling it

amayamoore more than that im afraid 😔

ynnn SHUT UP.

user11 LMFAOO

user3 oh so theyre on the low low i see

user4 PLSS YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP 😭😭

user3 THEYD BE CUTE TOGETHER LET ME BE DELUSIONAL 😭😭😭

user7 NAH FR THOO

charles_leclerc soo...how long are you staying for?

carlossainz55 you did not.

charles_leclerc 😇😇😇

georgerussell63 shes WAY out of your league leclerc. anyways how long though? 😉

alex_albon lily told me to tell you guys to stay away from her. she got suspended for 3 hours from commenting bad stuff about you guys.

amayamoore lily also told me to tell you guys to get out of y/ns comment section

ynnn LMFAOO LILY NAURRRR 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc never answered our question...

ynnn a while leclerc.

maxverstappen1 did anyone else hear a yell from mclarens garage or was it just me?

mclaren 🤫🤫🤫

user12 NOT A MCLAREN DRIVER GETTING EXPOSED BY MAX 😭😭

user3 I WONDER WHICH ONE 💀

user13 PIASTRI MAYBE??

user14 NOOO IT DEF HAS TO BE LANDO

user5 watch it be an engineer

oscarpiastri it was nice talking to you, ill show you around yeah?

ynnn YES PLSSS 😊😊

landonorris wow ok

charles_leclerc i know right. FROM MY OWN SON.

ynnn ???

oscarpiastri theyre being dramatic. dont mind them 🙄

---

oscarpiastri posted on their story !

👁️ 782,173

landonorris replied to oscarpiastris story

landonorris OSCAR.

oscarpiastri LANDO.

landonorris THIS IS TRULY OPP BEHAVIOUR.

oscarpiastri what do you mean lando?

landonorris I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT INVITE ME...

landonorris I LITERALLY COULDVE HAD A CONVO WITH HER OSC.

oscarpiastri lando you had 6 chances and you ran away every time...

landonorris anyways...next time..for sure....

oscarpiastri okay lando we will see...

---

oscarpiastri

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, ynnn, and 812,173 others

oscarpiastri am i the best guide ever or what? 😄

tagged: ynnn

View all 161,172 comments

---

ynnn YOU ARE NOT. ❤ by author

ynnn YOU PUSHED ME TO THE BUSHES

oscarpiastri THAT WAS BY ACCIDENT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHT SHOVE SINCE THERE WAS SOMEBODY RUNNING YOUR WAY 😔

ynnn UH HUH WTV EXCUSES EXCUSES. 😒

landonorris yeah dont listen to him he told me he did it on purpose

oscarpiastri I DID NOT 😟

ynnn WOWWWW. WOWWWWWWWWW.

user3 k chat...maybe her and lando arent dating...maybe its her and piastri...

user4 HAVE FAITH STAND YOUR GROUND 😭😭

user3 I WILL. THANK YOU 🫡

user14 yn and the mclaren drivers. never knew i needed them till now 😩

user15 NAH CUZ FR?? THE CHEM.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, amayamoore, and 826,173 others

ynnn you can tell who kidnapped me this time. (also peep oscars stance 😭)

tagged: amayamoore, oscarpiastri, landonorris

View all 127,718 comments

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user3 CHAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL 😨😨😨

user4 LMFAOO 😭😭😭

user3 LANDO IN THE LIKES??

user4 this is fr your moment girl 🙈🙈🙈

user14 OSCAR PLSSS LMFAOO ALSO LANDO AT THE LAST PHOTO 😭😭

mclaren will tell oscar to kidnap you again.

oscarpiastri already on it 🫡

scuderiaferrari we had her first :(

landonorris she looks way better in orange.

charles_leclerc nuh uh shes way better in red.

ynnn awhh guys fr theres enough of me around 🤭

amayamoore LMFAO I CANNOT W YOU 😭

oscarpiastri WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PHOTO

ynnn lets just say im in the shadows...

landonorris dont question her any further.

oscarpiastri what is going on 😞

landonorris I SAID DONT QUESTION HER.

ynnn thank you norris

landonorris anytime for you l/n 🫶

ynnn such a gentleman 🙈🫶

user3 GET IUT IF HERE IM GONNA PASS IUT

amayamoore they fr took my girl. 🙁

ynnn girl...YOU LEFT ME WITH THEM.

amayamoore OOPSIES. 🙈

lilymhe shes doing that thing again y/n

ynnn SHES DOING THE THING THING???? TO WHICH ONE!?!3$/&

lilymhe even i dont know 😟

ynnn 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

amayamoore 😈😈😈😈

---

ynn

Liked by landonorris, osarpiastri, and 1,231,642 others

ynnn i like this guide way better. he doesnt push me into bushes. 🤍

tagged: landonorris

View all 233,123 comments

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landonorris id never push a pretty lady like you into bushes. ❤️

ynnn so basically what youre saying is that if i was ugly you would?

landonorris that sounds impossible coming from you l/n.

ynnn why thank you norris 😊

lilymhe BOTH OF YOU GET UP RN.

lilymhe @/ynnn PLEASE STAND ON BUSINESS Y/N DONT PLAY W ME RN.

amayamoore LET HER SIT LILY 🤭🤭🤭

mclaren whatever amaya said. ❤️ by author

user3 I AM PEEING MYSELF RN.

user3 GUYS ITS HAPPENING...ITS HAPPENING DONT PANIC

user4 THIS IS SO YOUR MOMENT OMG IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY FOR YOU

user3 MAYBE I WONT GET SENT TO AN ASYLUM

mclaren stop stealing our drivers 🙁

ynnn ill try my best 🫡

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, amayamoore, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 1,854,321 others

landonorris shes my bestfriend now.

tagged: ynnn

View all 321,283 comments

---

amayamoore NUH UH.

lilymhe lando norris bites the curb in 4k ultra hd.

landonorris ALEX. SHES DOING IT AGAIN 😟

alex_albon i cant even help you w this one...im scared of her...

lilymhe stay quiet alex.

alex_albon 🤐🤐🤐

amayamoore she maybe your best friend but shes not yours.

landonorris she said i was 🙄

ynnn ONE of my bestfriends

landonorris now were lying now huh 😒

ynnn excuse me norris. i will make sure lilys statement becomes true

landonorris im sorry my lady 😞❤️

ynnn good. ❤️

charles_leclerc guys go to your dms before i cry.

georgerussell63 fr im gonna start bawling. we lost a baddie 😔

ynnn what are you guys even talking about...

oscarpiastri dont even worry about them

carlossainz55 i agree with oscar

mclaren shocker...coming from carlos

scuderiaferrari what a moment

user4 @/user3 are you alive?

user3 i think i fr passed out when i swiped and saw her.

user12 GIRL DONT WORRY I PASSED OUT W YOU I THINK ALMOST BROKE MY NECK 😭😭

user3 i have a feeling chat. ❤️ by oscarpiastri, amayamoore, carlossainz55

user4 your feeling may come true soon.

user3 OSCAR, AMAYA, AND CARLOS J LIKED MY COMMENT SOMETHING IS BREWING.

user12 OMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMORBWHQ

user16 why is lando so fine?

user17 not lando being her personal photographer shes such a devourer for that 🙈

user18 both of them are so fine 😫😫😫

---

you were sitting on a swing on the beach waiting for lando to come back. it had been a few months since you and him started hanging out and became friends.

it wasnt surprising when you, along the way of you guys becoming close, started catching feelings for him. you were captivated by his charms, his beautiful and flirtatious personality, and those eyes that hold a million stars.

"y/n?" you hear a voice call out from behind you.

"yes, lan?" you respond back using his nickname.

"i got us some juice. they said these two were the top sellers." he hands you one as he sits down.

"oooo these look good. what flavour is this one?" you ask him waiting to take a sip.

"i think that ones called 'golden sun', it has pineapple, orange, and mango im pretty sure." he answers.

you take a sip from your juice and you were met with a wonderful taste. sweet and sour, but savory as well.

"is it good?" he asks as you eagerly nod your head.

"of course!! you can never go wrong with mango." you answer taking another sip from your juice, "whats yours called?"

"mines called 'starfish dreams', i think it has strawberry, kiwi, peach, and pineapple. not quite sure, but its good. sweet with a hint of sourness." he answers, "wanna try mine?"

"yes!! that sounds equally as good! you can try mine as well." he was ready to give you his cup and you suddenly had an idea.

you grabbed his and gave him yours and then you grabbed his arm making him give you a confused look until he realized what you were doing.

"ohhhh..." he sighs in relief, "i thought i did something wrong for a second."

you laugh out loud at the thought of him being concerned for a second.

"no, no, i just need a nice pic for the gram since you took all of the ones i was gonna post." you give him a side eye as you take out your phone for a picture.

"you snooze you lose." he sticks his tongue out at you, to which you do back.

after you snapped a couple photos, you guys go back to having a conversation about how pretty the view was at night.

"it was really nice of you to invite me here." you say to him as he looks at you.

"im glad i grew the balls to ask you to hangout with me when nobody was willing to," he chuckles, "i wouldve been alone today."

"oh so basically what youre saying is that i was the last option?" you joke around waiting for his response.

"no, no, no...not like that. more like you were the scariest option on the list." he says as you give him a look.

"how? im not that scary looking...right?" you ask him as he violently shakes his head.

"obviously not...i meant–ughhh...what i meant was you were only the scariest option on the list because i was afraid youd reject me." he spews out.

"reject you? why would you think that?" you give him a more confused look.

"because compared to me, i am definitely way out of your league," you look at him in the eyes as he looks away, "youre just too beautiful, refreshing, fun to be around, and youre just so charming. after our first lunch together, i kept thinking about you and how it was impossible to love somebody at first sight, but it was definitely possible and im the living proof of it."

"is this you confessing your love for me, norris?" you ask him as he finally looks into your eyes.

"yeah...i guess it is." he looks at your face for any sort of reaction, but all you did was look into his eyes which made him nervous.

all the nervousness he had were washed away from his body in seconds after you leaned in and gave him a kiss, to which he reciprocated.

"i feel the exact same way, lan." you give him a smile as you give him another kiss.

both of you guys spent your night at the swing looking at the stars, talking about random things that you both were interested in, and getting in the water for a little swim; soaking in each others love for one another.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 923,213 others

ynnn the beach at night>>>

View all 162,172 comments

---

amayamoore idk how you guys can get into the water at night. it gives me the creeps...😟

ynnn its j so relaxingggg maya 🙁

amayamoore THE SHARKS.

lilymhe REAL.

landonorris beach at nights>>>

ynnn YHHH>>>

user19 who is the dude?

user3 according to my calculations, lando norris. 🤓☝️

user4 😭😭😭

user20 the view!???!? 🙈🙈

ynnn had the best view ever 🤫

landonorris i had an even better view.

charles_leclerc if you ever need another tour guide im still an option 😊

scuderiaferrari even im starting to feel bad...

carlossainz55 me and you both.

georgerussell63 me too!! im still an option! 😚

mercedesamgf1 george...

user21 IM CRYING 😭😭

user1 they are not giving up 😭

---

ynnn posted on their story !

👁️ 934,283

amayamoore replied to ynnns story

amayamoore OMG YOU FINALLY BOUGHT A CAR??

ynnn YESSSS

amayamoore so im guessing lando helped you w that huh? 😉

ynnn ....

amayamoore HAHDHAHAH GIRL CANNOT LIE TO SAVE HER LIFE 😭😭

ynnn NAW CUZ HOWD YK THO...

amayamoore girl be fr...it was either oscar or him. last time i checked you were w lando 🙄

ynnn anyways...🤐

amayamoore yeah exactly. also check the gc xoxo

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user21, user3, user4, and 102,232 others

f1wagnews alert: lando norris sighted snuggling and kissing with an unknown girl!

View all 11,232 comments

---

user3 oh thats not...!!

user4 I GENUINELY CANT TELL IF THATS Y/N OR NOT...

user3 ME NEITHER 😭😭

user9 it is definitely not y/n guys 💀

user5 fr everyones being so delusional

user9 that is not y/n for everyone being delusional out there 🤣

user3 IT HAS TO BE

---

you and lando laugh together as you both read the comments of the new post created by f1wagnews.

"i would soft launch but it would be a little suspicious and obvious..." you say to him as he laughs.

"i told you hard launching would be the only way. considering the fact we already had a rumor around us." he tells you as you give him a look.

"i guess so. also im only hard launching to prove user9 and user5 wrong. trying to make user3s and user4s day since theyve been rooting for us." you say as he laughs, "you gotta do it with me tho, i have a plan."

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, mclaren, amayamoore, and 2,939,234 others

ynnn i only ride mclarens.

tagged: landonorris

View all 341,234 comments

---

landonorris so funny how im actually named mclarens 😘

ynnn you are so getting it tonight.

lilymhe Y/N.

amayamoore IM CRYING WHY IS SHE SO UNHINGED LILY 😭😭😭

lilymhe BECAUS EOF YOU

mclaren we didnt even read this.

mclaren CONGRATS!! 🍾 ❤️🧡 (were just gonna ignore the caption!)

ynnn thank you sm 😝 (enjoy it)

carlossainz55 HE DID IT???

landonorris and did.

ynnn bro confessed without knowing he confessed...

landonorris SSHHHHH

oscarpiastri HE FINALLY DEFEATED THE LANDO NO-RIZZ ALLEGATIONS‼️‼️

landonorris excuse me.

ynnn YHHH HE DEFEATED IT FINALLY!!!

landonorris EXCUSE ME.

user3 I FRICKING CALLED IT. YOU GUYS I CALLED IT!!! IM NOT CRAZY.

user3 @/user4 WHERE ARE YOU...WE DID IT!!!

user4 WOOOOHOOOO FINALLLYYYYYYJAHWH

ynnn you guys are the og believers.

landonorris y/n only hard launched because of you guys fyi

user3 OMGOMGOSN IM GONNA PASS OUT.

user4 THEY KNOW WE EXIST @/user3

charles_leclerc so im guessing you dont need another tour guide 😕

ynnn sorry charles...ive already got the best tour guide around ❤️

landonorris my loveee ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 do you guys hear sobbing from ferraris garage and mercedes?

scuderiaferrari yeah...dont worry about it.

mercedesamgf1 the weather is nice today...

amayamoore that caption is insane.

lilymhe WHAT IM SAYING BRO.

ynnn 🙄🙄🙄

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, carlossainz55, mclaren, lilymhe, amayamoore and 3,343,964 others

landonorris hi, im mclarens.

tagged: ynnn

View all 394,934 comments

---

ynnn hi mclarens!!! 🙈🙈🙈

landonorris hey there beautiful lady 😍

georgerussell63 theyre so cute im gonna vomit.

mclaren beat the no-rizz and no-wins allegations!!! thats our driver!! 🧡 (still gonna ignore the caption)

landonorris it was y/ns idea believe it or not.

ynnn SHUT UP.

oscarpiastri i just put two and two together with their captions. i wanna bleach my eyes now.

carlossainz55 i just told my teammate to look at their captions and he started sobbing more. 😂😂😂

lewishamilton i dont think my teammate figured it out yet 😅

lewishamilton nvm 😭😭

maxverstappen1 yeah we can hear them all sobbing...

maxverstappen1 congrats mate!! you finally have balls now!!

landonorris last time i checked ive had balls my entire life.

maxverstappen1 idk about that mate

landonorris ask my mother or y/n

ynnn idrk lando...ive only known of their existence since last week...

charles_leclerc KEEP IT IN THE DMS. IVE GOT NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY 😭

ynnn okay ariana grande 😭😭

amayamoore KEEP THAT INFORMATION TO YOURSELVES.

lilymhe we did not wanna hear about what you two did last week.

user3 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AGAIN 😭😭

user4 theyre so iconic for that tbh. the first time they were put in an article together it was because of their captions being accidentally matching and now its actually real. 😭

user3 genuinely brings tears to my eyes.

user22 theyre so cuteee 🤍🤍

charles_leclerc i think im done crying.

ynnn ill buy you some lec ice cream to make you feel better. 🫶

charles_leclerc thank you 🥹🫶

landonorris and what if i tell you ill eat all of it before it gets to you.

charles_leclerc that might be my 13th reason.

ynnn 😭😭

scuderiaferrari please give our driver a break.

---

authors note(s): this is my first smau so i hope it isnt booty cheeks. i literally started tweaking after trying to do the instagram post layout properly 😭😭

hope you guys enjoyed this and maybe ill make more in the future xoxo

#formula 1 #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris smau #smau #f1 smau #charles leclerc #landonorris #lando norris x reader

2K notes · View notes

ghostboneswrites2 · 11 months ago

Text

A Mess || Part 8

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring everything here starting with this series since it was the most popular!

A/N: this is not the last part I promise

Summary: You finally make it to the town you set out for all those days ago. Feelings get shared when you find a place to stay for the night.

18+ MDNI || WARNINGS: profanity, suggestive

"Can't believe we left the map." Daryl shook his head as he drove. He finally got one of the cars working, though it had a strong gasoline smell as he drove it.

"You were in charge of it." You pointed out.

"Don;t need it anyhow." He defended. Men and their pride when it came to directions never ceased to amuse you. "Should be 'bout thirty minutes up this road. We can load up some while we're there, get gas, hole up of the night, and loot s'more before we head back tomorrow."

"Sounds great." You agreed. "If I have to go one more day without a shower I'm gonna kill someone."

"Can barely fight a walker off of ya. Who you gonna kill?" He teased.

"I was distracted." You defended.

"With what? The view?" He retorted. Well, yes, but you couldn't tell him that.

"Whatever." You grumbled, crossing your arms and turning your attention out of the window.

It wasn't long before the town you two originally set out for rolled into view. You spent an hour looting an old thrift store for some clothes and random things you thought the prison could use. Board games, soaps, hairbrushes, plates and bowls, you name it. If they had it, you took it. Next was the pawnshop for guns and ammo, which were pretty sparse but they did have some good knives and machetes. You also found an old DVD player and some movies that you thought might be nice for Carl or something. Daryl focused more on equipment. Golf clubs, tools, lawn equipment for when everyone started working on the garden.

On your way out of the pawnshop with your load of treasure, you noticed a flyer on the window. 'MONTHLY FOOD DRIVE - DELIVER ALL GOODS TO 227 PINEBLUFF CT DR'

"Hey, check this out." You called Daryl over. He squinted as he read it.

"C'mon. Town's small. Can't be too hard to find."

----

It wasn't hard to find. It was a church, of course. Wasn't hard to clear the place out, either. Just the pastor and a few ladies stumbling around. They had a bunch of canned goods stored in an office, which you and Daryl happily loaded up in the car.

"Think this is a good spot to crash for the night?" You asked him.

"Nah. Windows are all busted. We'll find a little house or somethin." He said.

So, when you guys were done with the church, you drove around for a little while, siphoning gas from random vehicles and searching for a house suitable for the night. He settled on a little blue house, with a fenced in front and back yard. He reasoned the fencing was good added protection. Plus, the windows looked to be in tact and overall the place looked untouched.

There weren't any walkers inside, but there also wasn't any food. There was, however, running water. Whoever these people were, they ran their house off filtered rain water.

While Daryl was working on blocking all the exits off with furniture and nailing blankets over the windows so nothing could see inside, you opted for a shower. It wasn't hot since the house had no power, but damn was it nice to feel clean. Well, as clean as you could get with no soap, anyways. The towels were all dusty, so you drip dried when you got out. When you were dry enough you slid into the extra outfit you packed, and found your way back out to Daryl. He had the house as safe as he could get it by then.

"All yours." You told him.

"Nah." He shrugged.

"Uh, you smell like a biohazard." You insisted. He glared.

"Yeah, shoulda smelled yourself. By day two in that tree house you were chokin' flies." He shot back.

"And, would ya look at that, I showered!" You sneered. He huffed a little breathy laugh and shook his head as he grabbed his bag and disappeared to the shower.

You were hungry, so you decided to light the gas stove and heat up a can of Campbell's chunky beef stew for the two of you to share. By the time it was done, he was out, so the two of you ate in silence before tossing the emtpy can and borrowed spoon in the sink.

"It's not even dark yet." You commented.

"Yeah. Best to get to bed early. We can head out first thing, make it back home by tomorrow night." He reasoned.

"Guess so." You agreed.

"Guess? You don't wanna get back?" He questioned.

"And give up our quality bonding time?" You joked. He scoffed and shook his head. Damn, you were a smartass.

"'S that what ya call it?"

"Yup. What else would it be?"

"Thought we were stranded on an island." He recalled.

"Oh, that. No, I was just hungry." You shrugged. "Never take me seriously when I'm hungry. I become a different person, really."

He rolled his eyes a little. "Still wanna play that game?" He asked.

"What game?"

"Twenty questions."

"Twenty-one questions, Dixon." You corrected. "And sure. You go first."

"Alright." He nodded, pondering for a moment. He had a million questions he could ask, but somehow they felt too personal. Did you miss Shane? Were you ready to move on? Did you like him, or were you just a tease? Why did you always pick on him? Was it the same reason he always picked at you and gave you shit? "How ya like the shoes?"

"They're good." You nodded. "I love them. Thanks again. Uh.." You thought for a second. "How long do you wanna grow your hair out?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "What'd ya like to do before the world went to shit?"

"Hmm... Paint, listen to music, go go out and eat my weight in food from little hole in the wall restaurants." You recalled. "What kind of music do you like?"

"Whatever was on the radio." He said. "You plan on movin' on?"

That was an okay question to ask, right? He broke the ice pretty well, he thought, with the rapid fire Q&A flying between the two of you. He realized maybe not, though, because you seemed to really take your time with that one.

"Don't see why not." You finally said. "I mean, he would, right? As long as I thought I found someone who would treat me right... Are you seeing anyone right now?"

You asked the question so casually but it choked him up. He felt so naked, like a chicken with all its feathers plucked off one by one.

"No." He cleared his throat. "Nah."

Uncomfortable silence blanketed over the two of you.

"Your turn." You reminded him.

"Oh. Are you?"

"Am I..?"

"Seein' anyone." He clarified. You giggled a little.

"No. But I have met someone. Real nice guy, actually. He gets me gifts and teases the hell out of me, but I think he'd do just about anything for me." You smiled to yourself. He had to know you were talking about him, right? Wrong. He was clueless. Right over his head. He admittedly felt sad to hear it. Who was this guy? He kind of sounded like everything Daryl tried to be for you. "Do you like anyone?" You asked, taking him out of his swirling thoughts.

"Nah." He shrugged. A lie, but everything he had tried to work up to was washed away when you said you met someone.

"Oh." You said, slight sadness hinting in your voice. "Your turn." You reminded him again.

"Who's the guy?" He asked.

"Oh, you don't know him." You waved him off. If you could slap yourself, your would. What kind of lie was that? He knew everyone. There were literally less than ten of you if you didn't count the baby.

"Oh? Some kind o' pen or somethin'?" He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Then it hit him; you were talking about him. That's why it sounded like everything Daryl tried to be for you, because it was him. "Oh." He blurted quietly.

Your face felt like it drained of blood completely. Well, way to completely humiliate yourself around the only real friend you had, huh?

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." You nodded, forcing a smile, but your voice was sort of meek and squeaky. You shook it off, reminding yourself that you were, in fact, not the type to falter under pressure. This would be no different. So what if you liked him and he didn't feel the same? You could get past that. It was nothing--

"(Y/N)." He snapped you out of your thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You asked if I like someone..." He trailed as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah?"

"It's just -- I do, but... How do I know she likes me too?"

He didn't make eye contact as he asked. In fact, he looked quite literally everywhere except at you.

"You just... ask. And if you don't wanna ask... Make your move." You shrugged.

"Right." He nodded.

Well, that conversation had gotten awkward enough for you, so you figured that was a good place to end it. You cleared your throat and stood up.

"I'm gonna go choose a bed." You announced.

You went to walk past where he sat on the couch but he stood up abruptly and cut you off.

You looked up at him with confusion. What did he want? Your nerves were eating away at you and you were honestly pretty tired. You shifted your weight anxiously.

"Daryl--" You went to complain about it but he had other plans. He gripped your arms firmly and smashed his face into yours. Like, actually smashed. It hurt. "Ow." You mumbled as you rubbed over your mouth. He gulped. It was supposed to be a kiss. Was he always so clumsy?

"Sorry, I--"

"Were you trying to kiss me?" You asked. He just stared at you. "'Cause, I gotta tell ya,you could really work on your technique." You smirked.

When he remained frozen, you began to feel bad for teasing him. He clearly had no idea what to do now. His hands were even still rested on your arms.

"Here, let me show you." You whispered. You reached up for his face, his hands sliding softly off of your arms. When your palms found his checks,you tippy-toed up a couple of inches, and slowly leaned in, placing your lips softly on his. It wasn't a long, rhythmic kind of kiss. It was just simple and soft, and it lasted just a few seconds longer than a quick peck-and-go.

His eyes were still closed when you pulled back, a tiny smile slowly spreading over your lips. When his eyes opened,he looked disappointed, like he was waiting for more.

He leaned down slowly, a little unsure. He was waiting for you to stop him, but you didn't. You pushed yourself back up on your toes o close the gap and snaked your arms around his neck. This time, it was deeper. You slowly moved your lips, allowing him to find the rhythm and synchronise. When he felt a little more confident, his hands gripped your hips and he quickened the pace.

Slowly, he eased you down onto the couch. You gladly followed his lead. When you were comfortably seated, his lips peeled away and his kisses found their way down from your cheek to your neck to your collarbone. Oh, this was going to get good.

A/N: next part will be spicy ;)

Masterlist || Taglist

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader

((I didn't use the tags in all the one shots I just transferred cause I didn't wanna hit you guys with like 348827502720 notifications in one day))

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon #twd daryl #daryl x reader #the walking dead daryl #daryl twd #daryl fanfiction #daryl x female reader #18+ mdni

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joelalorian · 8 months ago

Text

Fevered Flame

Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Summary: When Marcus Pike lost himself in work after that debacle with Theresa, he didn’t expect to take on a sizzling new case in the quirky town of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Nor did he expect to meet you, an up-and-coming agent also looking for a fresh start. An unprecedented heatwave, mind-boggling art thefts, ancient Aztec legends, this case had the works. How would he ever solve the case with the temperature rising between you both?

This fic is my contribution to @iamasaddie's Little Lady Kinky May writing challenge. Prompts were Marcus Pike and Temperature. This is my first time writing Marcus Pike and I hope I did him justice. I learned a few things about myself during this process, the most important being that I am incapable of writing porn without plot, or a romantic angle, apparently. This story turned out waaaaay different than intended because of that. I apologize now for the plot heaviness between sexy bits.

WC: 10.4k – I’m sorry, I have no idea where all these words came from

Warnings: Explicit 18+, too much plot, heat making people cray cray, sexy sweatiness, lots of cursing (I’m from New Jersey, I can’t help it), nonsensical crime stuff, a plot that came straight outta left field, protected and unprotected sex (p in v), pussy eating and cock sucking, inappropriate use of an ice cube and hot springs. No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname and boobs, otherwise, I tried to keep her a blank slate. Some terms of endearment. IDK, there’s probably more but I can’t think right now.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this utter ridiculousness. Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics. Moodboard by me.

Masterlist

Still reeling from the aftermath of Theresa Lisbon choosing that pontificating windbag Patrick Jane over him nearly a year ago, Marcus Pike buried himself in work. The transition from Texas to DC and adapting to leading a whole new team took his mind of his misery. However, the lonely nights in his new home, the one purchased with hopes of building a life with Theresa in mind, were untenable and he took on more fieldwork than someone at the director level typically would. Hence why Marcus found himself driving through the desert to some quirky small town in New Mexico called Truth or Consequences.

What the fuck kind of name was that for a town, he wondered idly as his right hand pumped the rental car’s AC to full blast. Having already stripped off his suit jacket and tie, Marcus sweat clear through his lavender dress shirt within minutes. The heat was ungodly. Surely it couldn’t be normal. How could people live like that?

Eyes scanning the dashboard display of the mid-size SUV the agency rented for him, they nearly bugged out of his head at the temperature reading. Lit up in glaring red, the numbers 121°F taunted him as sweat dripped down his temples.

Jesus Christ. Death Valley had nothing on this place.

Marcus steered the vehicle toward his hotel, opting to change into something a little more suitable for the local climate before checking in with the agent representing the local field office. The FBI put him up in a supposedly nice hotel, though he didn’t have high expectations of what that meant in a town like this. As long as the AC worked, he’d survive.

Thirty minutes later, Marcus took his second shower of the day, this one much colder than the last, and jumped back into the SUV in an outfit more typical of a golf outing than an FBI investigation. It was the best he could do with what he packed. The local agent texted him the address of an art gallery, the first in a series of apparent crime scenes, and he plugged the address into the GPS.

Normally, you didn’t mind the heat, preferring that to cold winters, but this current heatwave was beyond ridiculous. You sweat just by simply existing. You never experienced anything like it in the five years you’d been stationed in Albuquerque, and you suddenly found yourself longing for the bone-deep cold of a northeastern winter as you waited for the DC agent to arrive.

The chilling sea breeze of a New Jersey winter sounded like heaven right now.

A sleek silver SUV pulled up next to your government-issued sedan and you watched with an assessing gaze from the driver’s seat as Director Marcus Pike exited the vehicle clad in khaki shorts and a turquoise polo, trendy aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes from the glare of the desert sun. His dark brown hair was short and styled back off his forehead, and a neatly trimmed scruff lined his top lip and jaw.

You knew from a quick glance at his FBI profile that he was a decorated agent, but his government photo did not do him justice. The man was fucking gorgeous in person. Exiting your own vehicle before he caught you staring, you introduced yourself.

He flashed you a smile full of boyish charm when you gave him your name, causing your heart to thump double time. “You can just call me Jersey, everyone else does,” you finished, holding your hand out to shake his.

“Marcus Pike, Director of the Art Crimes Squad in DC,” he replied, his larger hand engulfing yours in a firm, yet not overbearing, shake. “Just call me Marcus.”

The two of you gazed at each other, the sun beating down on you both like laser beams. Holy fuck, Marcus was even hotter up close. Yeah, his FBI file photo did not do him any justice at all. Not wanting to make things uncomfortable by staring too long, you gestured toward the door to the gallery.

“Shall we?”

Marcus cleared his throat and nodded, following behind you as you strolled casually through the entrance. “Wanna give me a rundown of what we know so far?”

“Sure,” you replied. “We’ve had paintings stolen from several galleries in town. Despite its odd name and small-town status, Truth or Consequences has a rather robust art scene. Lots of expensive art showcased in these galleries.”

Marcus nodded as you gave him some background. He likely read most of this in the file on his flight out here, but you could appreciate the necessity of running over it again verbally. Repetition was the mother of… whatever the fuck that saying was. Your brain was already too fried from the heat.

“The thefts started almost a week ago, not too long after the start of the extreme heatwave this area is currently experiencing. There has been one painting taken every other day so far, always at the peak heat of the day when the townsfolk are too overheated and tired to pay much attention. No eyewitnesses and the thief artfully avoided any surveillance or security cameras so far.”

You watched Marcus jot down some notes, tapping the end of his pen against the small notepad as he reviewed the information.

“So, three paintings taken so far, and it’s still early in the day. I’m guessing we can expect another theft today?” You nodded and Marcus tapped the pen against his bottom lip this time, causing you to avert your gaze before he caught you ogling the plump flesh.

“Have there been any patterns identified?”

You could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “Just in the types of paintings taken so far. They all depict scenes of cool, serene landscapes.”

Dark brown eyes held your gaze. “So, the exact opposite of the current weather situation.”

Again, you nodded. “That’s the only pattern so far. We haven’t been able to determine any order to the galleries hit and, unfortunately, this town doesn’t have the law enforcement manpower to guard all of the galleries and still attend to their normal duties. We do have unis posted at the galleries that haven’t been hit yet, just in case. That’s the best the townies could do though.”

Humming in thought, Marcus walked around the gallery, causing you to scramble to keep up. It was fascinating watching his mind work, his big, brown eyes taking in every minute detail around him. When he stopped in front of the empty spot marking the first stolen painting’s former home, you paused next to him, debating on sharing the only other piece of information you had so far.

“There’s, uh, something strange that may or may not be related to this case.” That got Marcus’ attention and his eyes shot to you once again, brow arched curiously.

“Do tell,” he replied with an encouraging smile. You blinked slowly, trying in vain to maintain your concentration in front of such a handsome man.

“I will on the way to the other galleries. Just… just promise to hold judgment until I finish telling you everything. It’s a little… unorthodox compared to what we’re used, I’d say.” You led the way back to your car, gesturing for Marcus to get in on the passenger side. It made more sense to ride together. Thankfully, you left it running while inside the gallery, making the interior still nice and cool.

Once seated, his head cocked to the side endearingly, the tilt of his lips bordering on an indulgent smile. “Ok, I promise.” The cadence and depth of his soft-spoken voice set you aflame and you had to practically shake yourself to not fall to your knees in praise of this man.

Jesus Christ, Jersey, have a modicum of professionalism and self-respect, will ya, your inner monologue chided. Your libido hyperfixated on the veritable stud before you whether you wanted it to or not. It’d been too long since your last tumble in the sheets, apparently. Recentering your focus, you pulled out onto the main road heading to the next crime scene.

“Good,” you croaked. Feeling the heat creep up your already overheated flesh, you cleared your throat. “I’m sure you can tell, the weather here is ungodly hot – hard to miss it. This is not entirely normal, from what I understand. It’s tempting to chalk it up to climate change, except for one strange thing. Drive twenty or thirty minutes outside of town and the temps are far lower, though still hot by some standards. The temps within the surrounding towns are in line with the more normal averages.”

Brows furrowed, Marcus’ dark eyes searched your face, clearly looking for more context clues. “The heat certainly seemed excessive on the ride over from the municipal airport. I had to stop at the hotel and change or I would have melted to the pavement in my suit.”

You chuckled. “I know the feeling. The average temperature here is supposed to be in the low 90s this time of year, not thirty degrees higher. And the usually cooler desert nights haven’t existed for the past couple of weeks. It’s very strange.”

“And it’s just this town, you say?”

Pulling to a stop in front of the next gallery, you nodded. “Strange, right?”

“Very,” Marcus replied, deep in thought as he followed you inside.

It carried on like that the rest of the afternoon until the heat became just too much after checking out the last crime scene. Like everyone else in town, you sought refuge in the coolest place you could find, which happened to be a hole-in-the-wall pub just off the main street.

Just when Marcus thought things couldn’t get weirder with this town, you led him into a dark and dingy little pub, settling right up to the aged bar. If you weren’t a certified agency employee, he would be terrified that you were luring him to his untimely death.

As it was, the scraggly old barkeep gave him the creeps when he shuffled over, eyeing the pair of you with the same attention he would three-headed aliens. “Coldest beer in town. Two pints?” The man’s voice as rough as he looked, he didn’t wait for an answer.

Marcus shot you a look, eyes wide and uncertain, but you merely shrugged in return. He didn’t normally drink on the job, but between the heat and the early start for traveling, Marcus decided his day was finished. He chugged at the frosty draft when the barkeep placed it in front of him. The old man was right, the pint glass was frozen and small chunks of ice floated in the foamy beer.

“Damn, that’s good,” he nearly moaned, feeling refreshed.

“I know, right?” you replied, nearly half done with your own pint. “I don’t normally like beer, but I could drink it all day long when it’s ice cold like this. Especially in this heat, you know?”

The first round went down easily, and quickly, and the old barkeep, whose name turned out to be Harry, placed another round down before Marcus even thought to ask. The pair of you settled into easy conversation, getting to know each other outside of the job. The more you drank, the more your Jersey accent started to peak through. He found it cute and kept asking you questions just to keep hearing you talk.

Soon enough, any thought left in his mind about Theresa evaporated. How could he still think about his ex-fiancé when a hot, smart, sweet little thing like you sat before him, chatting, and flirting away the evening. Theresa had nothing on you.

It took exactly a fraction of a second to be struck by your beauty that morning. Confident and intelligent, not mention damn good at your job, he quickly realized your natural beauty served as icing on the cake. You were the entire package, and he was trying his damnedest to not charge ahead trying to get you into bed.

Turned out you both had similar relationship history, married too young and divorced, no kids, longed for a dog if only your job didn’t call you away so often. You were practically the female version of him, Marcus thought. It made him all the more curious about you.

Before long, you both ordered some bar grub and went back to talking about the case. Neither of you could make sense of what you had so far. There were vital pieces of the puzzle missing, that much was apparent.

Harry unceremoniously dropped plates full of burgers and fries in front of you, not even trying to hide the fact that he eavesdropped on your conversation.

“You think your case has something to do with the heat?” the old man questioned, leaning heavily on the bar top.

You and Marcus shared a look before you nodded.

“There’s some local lore you might find interesting, then,” Harry said, pausing for dramatic effect and you gestured for him to continue. “Well, as the legends go, the Flame of Quetzalcoatl was hidden somewhere in town centuries ago. They say it was a gem gifted by the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl himself, but who the recipient was no one knows. The gem is said to hold the power of the sun and the wielder of it has the ability to control heat.”

You and Marcus sat there in silence, absorbing the tale Harry just shared. After a few minutes, Marcus glanced at you, doubt clear in his expression.

“This town just gets fuckin’ weirder by the minute, I swear,” he said, sipping at his pint once again. “I might actually believe that little story if I was a few more beers in.”

You laughed, but your face didn’t hold the same doubt as his. “I don’t know, Marcus. If living out here for the past few years has taught me anything, it’s that these Aztec legends are often too close to the truth to blow off.”

Harry harrumphed. “I’d say so, little lady.”

“Besides, it’s the best we’ve got right now,” you said, nudging Marcus’ shoulder with yours. “Couldn’t hurt to play that angle until a better lead pops up.”

Marcus found himself agreeing, much to his surprise.

Over the next few days, you and Marcus researched as much as possible about local lore related to Aztecs, searching for any hint of what Harry told you. In that time, three more paintings were stolen. The thief started leaving little clues as if to goad law enforcement.

The first cryptic clue further convinced you of the potential voracity of the Aztec legend. Written in drip red paint in the spot where the fourth painting had been located, Marcus suspected the thief meant it to look like blood.

When the feathered serpent sheds its skin, the heat will rise.

“Holy shit,” you gasped when you first read it. Turning to Marcus, you declared, “Quetzalcoatl was known as the Feathered Serpent.”

His dark brown eyes widened, meeting yours in shock. “No way.”

You nodded, flipping through your notepad to find your most recent notes on the case. “Yes way. That book we borrowed from the Historical Society talked about it. Remember?”

Marcus nodded slowly as the information came back to him, his eyes searching yours, trying to make sense of this completely bizarre case. “Didn’t the book say something about Quetzalcoatl being a signal of transformation? Think the clue has something to do with that?”

“Yeah, could be.”

The pattern continued the next day with another clue left behind.

Where the earth boils and the water steams, the gem of the sun awaits.

The pair of you debated the meaning of the second clue over cold beer at Harry’s pub. As the case evolved, so did the connection between you and Marcus. You both flirted unashamedly when you weren’t talking about the case. It turned out the agency put you both up at the same hotel – your rooms on the same floor even. You were beginning to hope that he would make a move, yet completely terrified of that happening at the same time.

Despite your best efforts, the thief remained one step ahead of law enforcement, somehow managing to steal from galleries you had actively guarded. How in the world was this guy doing it?

Things were slowly coming together once a third clue was discovered.

Seek the place where fire and water dance, and there you will find the sun’s heart.

Without a local FBI office to work out of – the Albuquerque one you worked out of was over two hours away – you’d decided to setup camp in a quiet booth at Harry’s. He kept you full on pub grub and refreshments – soda and water during work hours, of course – and chipped in with his local knowledge whenever he thought it needed.

In fact, it was Harry who guided you toward understanding the latest clues.

“Have you two heard about the hot springs? This town is famous for them.” The old man dropped the nugget of knowledge along with a plate of fries and shuffled away, leaving the two of you to stare after him.

Marcus turned to you; his lips pursed in thought. You ached to nibble on the plump flesh of his bottom lip, to feel the gentle scratch of his facial hair against your soft skin as you did so.

“Where the earth boils and the water streams,” Marcus recalled the second clue in that delicious, soft-spoken voice of his, sending a wave of gooseflesh over your skin. “Seek the place where fire and water dance.”

Shaking your head free of naughty thoughts, you focused on the clues and the knowledge bomb Harry dropped, picking right up on Marcus’ thought process. “Fire, heat, and water... The hot springs!”

Marcus beamed at you; eyes sparkling as he came to the same realization. “It has to be. Makes sense, right?”

“Sure does,” you agreed, grinning back at him. “But there must be a ton of them. How would we ever find the right one?”

Sitting back in his seat, Marcus shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll have to keep digging. Do you still have that book from the Historical Society? Maybe there’s something else in there to help us.”

“It’s back in my room,” you reply. “Fancy ordering room service at the hotel while we go over the clues again?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What was he thinking, agreeing to go back to your room to continue working on the case.

An unwitting temptress already, how was he supposed to control himself when you invited him into your room for dinner, drinks, and after-hours casework?

In the already excessive desert heat, Marcus was sweating bullets as he followed you into your room, conveniently located only a few doors down from his own.

“I have a bottle of cab, is that good?” you questioned, kicking off your shoes with a sigh before reaching for the screw cap bottle.

Audibly gulping, Marcus squeaked out an assent and wiped his sweaty palms on his shorts. He glanced around the room to distract himself, noting happily that you were a tidy traveler, much like himself.

“I have bottled water as well. Would you like one?” Marcus nodded. With an indulgent smile, you held out the small ice bucket. “I like mine over ice. Would you mind?”

Eager for a moment to clear his head, Marcus grabbed the bucket. “No problem.” The echo of your chuckle followed him as he rushed out the door.

“What is wrong with you, dude?” he whispered to himself as he strolled down the hall to the ice machine. “You don’t even know if this woman wants anything more than just reviewing the case. Calm the fuck down.”

Feeling a little calmer and more under control after his private pep talk, Marcus knocked on your door with the full ice bucket in hand. You let him in with a broad smile that nearly made his heart stop.

“Perfect.” Plucking the bucket from his hands, you returned to the makeshift kitchenette area to fill two cups with ice and water. Two glasses of cabernet were already sitting on the tiny table in the small designated sitting area of the hotel room.

Marcus joined you on the couch, case file in hand, seated close due to the limited space. You dove right in to discussing the case, easing his nerves. The pair of you compared the facts of the case, debating theories and potential connections. Without any physical evidence, you still didn’t have any viable suspects, which was incredibly frustrating for both of you.

“I’ve never had a case like this,” Marcus said. “It’s hard to believe that this could all relate to a myth about an ancient god. It feels weird even saying that aloud.”

“I know. It’s giving me Twilight Zone vibes.”

With the lack of viable suspects serving as a brick wall in furthering the investigation, conversation switched to other topics.

“You’re from New Jersey?” Marcus asked. “What brought you out here?”

“Yep, born and raised at the Jersey Shore,” you replied, that northeastern accent peeking through as you drank more wine. “Classic reason for relocating – I followed a guy, the one I told you a little about. We got married young and one day he woke up and decided he wanted a change of scenery. I followed along without argument, and we wound up out here. Biggest mistake of my life.”

“Ahh,” he said with a nod. “That asshole.”

“Yeah, that asshole.”

From what you told Marcus about your ex-husband, he knew the guy was a real piece of work. Classic narcissist who beat you down emotionally the entire time you were together. Marcus was happy that you kicked the guy to the curb two years ago and the divorce finalized last year. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially you.

“Are you going to stick around here now that’s all over with?” He found himself curious about your future plans.

Shaking your head, you laughed. “Hell no. I put in for a transfer already, for anywhere on the east coast closer to home. I’m no picky.”

Marcus perked up at that. The DC headquarters always had openings. He’d get to see you again if you were transferred there. “I could put in a good word for you, if you’d like. You’re a great agent from what I’ve seen so far.”

Ducking your head bashfully, you peeked at him through your lashes. “That’s pretty high praise coming from a director,” you deflected.

“I mean it, Jersey.” He kept his voice low, using your nickname for the first time, and watched in delight as you shuddered.

The air in the room shifted, sexual tension thick and nearly overpowering. Marcus watched as your pupils dilated, lust overtaking the previous sparkle. He gulped when your tongue darted out to lick your lips tantalizingly.

Shifting ever so closer, your scent washed over him. You smelled fucking delicious, hints of cocoa butter and salty sweat, reminding him of the beach. His shorts suddenly became tighter, his cock twitching to life. He wanted to devour you.

The next thing Marcus knew, your lips were pressed to his as you basically ripped the clothes from each other’s bodies, the now empty bottle of wine knocked from the table to the carpeted floor in the process. Despite the cool air pumping from the air conditioning, your skin felt hot to his touch.

Licking into your mouth, savoring the taste of you mixed with the bite of wine on your tongue, Marcus steered you backwards until your hamstrings bumped against the mattress. He eased you down onto the bed, detaching his lips from yours to take in the electrifying sight of your naked body splayed before him.

“You’re breathtaking,” he murmured, his fingertips tracing down your smooth skin slowly, teasingly from your neck to your toes.

Your eyes, blown wide with need, burned into his before dipping down to take in his naked body with a gasp. His cock bobbed eagerly as you stared.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Marcus said, his soft voice filled with awe, matching the wonder in his eyes.

“Me either,” you replied, “but I’m happy it is. You are so fucking gorgeous, Marcus.”

Marcus couldn’t help the blush that pinkened his cheeks. Reaching behind him to the bucket, he plucked a large ice cube from the slowly melting pile. His eyes remained locked on yours as he popped the frozen cube into his mouth, sucking lightly before his tongue pushed forward and his lips puckered as a portion of the ice cube stuck out.

The breath left you when he dipped his head down to run the cube along your clavicle and down across your breasts. Your nipples pebbled beneath the chilly wetness as Marcus directed the ice cube back and forth a few times. He watched delightedly as goosebumps peppered your skin when he moved the cube down your belly in a zigzag pattern.

“Oh, fuck.” Your chest heaved and fingers tightened their grip on the bedsheets when Marcus dipped further down, running the quickly melting cube over your mound and through your slit. The cold nearly shocking to the overwhelming heat of your labia.

Using his tongue to increase the pressure, Marcus circled the ice cube over your clit until you cried out, one hand loosening its grip on the sheets to tangle your fingers in his thick hair. He shifted, plunging the cube into your entrance, pushing as far as his tongue would extend, then leant back to watch your pussy suck the cube further until in melted into mere dribbles of water.

You laid there panting, eyes hooded and wanting, as Marcus dove back in, using his tongue to continue the work he started with the ice cube. He lapped and sucked at your clit, two thick fingers slipping inside you, until you became a blubbering mess, blurting out unintelligible words and moans, finally falling apart beneath his ministrations.

Marcus slurped at the evidence of your long overdue release, savoring the sweet, tangy taste of you. His hips thrust against the mattress of their own accord, his body seeking any sort of friction against his aching cock it could find.

“Your mouth is a lethal weapon, Marcus,” you said breathlessly, hands reaching under his shoulders to drag him up your body. “Now let’s see what you can do with your cock.”

His hair flopped forward over his forehead from your fingers tangling in it and he grinned in satisfaction at your comment. His boyish charm proved too much to handle, and you yanked his face down to yours, tongues tangling in a scorching kiss. You nibbled on his plump bottom lip between fervent kisses, savoring the plushness between your teeth.

Whining when he pulled away suddenly, your fingers grasping for purchase to pull him back, Marcus winked at you when he slid off the bed. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m coming right back.”

Digging in his shorts to find his wallet, Marcus pulled out a long-forgotten condom from the tri-fold leather and checked the date on the foil packaging to make sure it hadn’t expired. Content with the remaining half-life, he ripped the package open with his teeth and slid the latex material over his cock.

You beamed at him when he climbed back onto the bed. “I knew you were a smart man.”

Marcus slid up beside your body, turning you so your back pressed snug against his chest. “Safety first, baby. Wrap it before you tap it, right?”

Your laughter became strangled when he slid inside you, splitting you open on his cock. “Oh my god. You feel so good!” you cried when he began to move inside you after a long pause to let you adjust to the sheer size of him.

Marcus started at a slow pace, getting a feel for the way your walls tightened around him. Gripping the bed covers with your right hand, you reached your left hand up and around to tangle in his hair behind you. He picked up the pace as you tugged gently on his locks, his lips peppering your neck with soft, wet kisses.

When, at last, Marcus began pounding into you, you reached between your legs with your right hand to rub your clit. Despite the cool air blowing over your bodies, the heat between you had your skin glistening with sweat. You cried as Marcus hit a particularly pleasurable spot deep within you, his own moans morphing into grunts as you clamped down on him.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so tight around me. I can feel you clench every time I hit this spot.” His words were murmured into your ear, barely audible over the sound of skin slapping against skin. Marcus plunged forward to hit your g-spot, proving his point when you clenched tightly around him once again. “Yeah, just like that.”

You plunged clear over the precipice then, crying out his name and any number of praises as an orgasm overtook you. Marcus talked you through it, his voice like sugary syrup, while he never once let up on his thrusts. Minutes, hours later, he followed you into the overwhelming bliss with a shout of your name followed by a string of curses.

“That was amazing.” Marcus nuzzled your neck as his hips slowed, the last shots of his cum dribbling into the condom. “You are amazing.”

Lost for words, you just hummed in agreement. Knackered from the excessive heat, long day of investigative work, the alcohol, and the mind-blowing sex, you hovered on the edge of sleep while Marcus got up to dispose of the condom. He returned with a wet cloth and cleaned you up with tender dedication. Tossing the cloth aside, he paused, standing naked and uncertain next to the bed.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Hell yeah, I do,” you replied sleepily, tossing the covers down so you could both slide under them. “I hope you like to cuddle, Mister.”

Grinning at you, Marcus wrapped his arm around you, curving his body around yours. “You bet your ass I do.”

You both fell into an exhausted sleep feeling hopeful and satiated for the first time in a long time.

Waking up in Director Pike’s arms was not something you expected would happen on this case. You fantasized. You hoped. Sure, all of that. But you never, ever expected it would actually happen. But it did and it felt fucking incredible.

You already knew he was damn good at his job. It was impressive to see that his single-minded focus and massive talent carried over to his skills in the bedroom as well. You replayed the night before in your head as you showered, remembering with fondness all the ways Marcus surprised you, how cherished he made you feel, the sheer pleasure he brought you.

How were you supposed to focus on the case now when your mind was completely overcome with thoughts of Marcus. You were almost relieved when he slipped out of the room after sharing a cup of hotel room coffee with you. You weren’t sure you could keep your hands to yourself if he stayed much longer, the rumbled, sleepy look proving almost too adorable to resist.

Marcus met you in the hotel lobby, two large cups of iced coffee and a brown paper bag clutched in his hands an hour after waking up together. “Good morning, Jersey girl,” he greeted you with a wink, dark brown eyes sparkling in the soft morning light filtering through the windows.

You chuckled at the variation of your nickname, already knowing that would become his signature endearment for you. “Good morning, handsome. Long time, no see.”

His grin grew wider. “Come on. Let’s ride together. No sense in taking two cars anymore.” He handed you one of the iced coffees and the paper bag, pulling the keys to his SUV out of his pocket.

Clad in gray cargo shorts, blush polo shirt, and a pair of boat shoes, Marcus looked ready for a day spent on the water rather than investigating art theft. The sight made your mouth water and you gulped at the iced coffee. As he drove, you both munched on the bagels he picked up along with the coffees while waiting for you.

“I figured we’d start taking a look at some of these hot springs to get a feel for them and see if anything else in the clues pops out at us,” Marcus explained between bites. He always chewed with his mouth closed and waited until after he swallowed to speak. You loved a man with impeccably manners.

“Great idea. I put a list of them in the file.”

“I know,” he beamed at you. “I saw it last night, before… It’s what gave me the idea. Thought we’d start with La Paloma and work our way down the list. What do you think?”

You nodded, sitting back in the passenger seat contentedly. Much to your surprise, there wasn’t an ounce of awkwardness between you two after last night’s surprising turn of events. Everything felt natural, like it was meant to turn out this way and you basked in the effortless interactions between you and Marcus.

Marcus spoke to the manager upon your arrival at La Paloma Hot Springs & Spa and the gentleman gave you a quick tour of the facility before allowing the two of you to investigate on your own. You split up to cover more ground, the scent of mineral-rich water tickling your nose as you worked your way through the facility.

Searching the private soaking tubs, you ran your hands along the edges looking for evidence of hidden compartments that might contain the artifact. Still uncertain if that was what you were actually looking for, it didn’t hurt to search. When you found nothing, your focus shifted to the vintage décor including the old photographs hanging on the walls, looking for any signs or symbols that might be a clue.

An hour later, you and Marcus reconvened at the front desk, disappointed that you both came up empty, yet undeterred in your drive to figure out this case.

You visited a number of other hot springs, conducting the same kind of searches yet never finding additional clues or evidence.

“It’s like we’re missing something,” Marcus said as you both climbed into the SUV, burnt out and sweaty, after your latest search came up empty. You’d spent the entire day running from hot spring to hot spring across the small town to no avail.

“Yeah, but what could it be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s not just any old hot spring? We need more to go on.”

Just then, your phone buzzed with an incoming call from the TCPD. Another painting stolen right under their noses – or rather, right behind the officer’s back as he turned around while patrolling one of the galleries. The thief had lightning-fast reflexes, apparently.

“Alright, thanks Chief. We’ll head over there now.” You ended the call and relayed the information to Marcus.

“This guy sure is brazen. I’ll give him that,” he lamented, carefully spinning the SUV around to head toward the latest crime scene.

“He’s got some balls, nicking a painting while an officer is standing right there. It’s like he’s begging to be caught.”

“That or he’s just a fucking lunatic.” Marcus met your gaze for a long moment after parking the vehicle. “Is it wrong that part of me hopes we don’t catch him too soon?”

Your heart thumped in your chest, lips quirking upwards into a shy smile. “No, not after last night…” you admitted. “We could always stay a few days after solving the case and explore this.” You gestured between the two of you.

Shutting off the car, Marcus bobbed his head. His previously styled hair fell across his forehead, the heat having worn away the product he used this morning. “I’d really like that.”

The TCPD officer met you at the door and led the way to the scene of the latest theft, his shoulders hunched in shame. “I never saw him; he was there and gone in seconds. Managed to leave this behind though, taped where the painting had been.”

Marcus accepted the paper, holding it up so you could read it.

Where the serpent bathes in earth’s warm embrace, beneath the soothing waters, the heart of the sun lies hidden.

“This message is different. Different, but the same. I mean… I don’t know what I mean,” you sighed frustratedly.

Marcus patted your shoulder in a manner appropriate for a professional audience. “No. I get what you mean. It’s tying the clues together in a different way. Giving us more hints at once.”

Heaving a sigh of your own, you nodded. What a great relief to feel understood. “Exactly.”

Conferring with the forensics team first, you and Marcus departed when they confirmed the thief left no trace evidence behind. No fibers, fingerprints, or hair. Nothing to clue you in on who the thief could be. Nothing, not even on the adhesive used to tape the clue to the wall or the paper itself. The perp was either lucky or extremely tidy.

Seated once again in the corner booth at Harry’s dingy pub, Marcus devoured his burger while you daintily nibbled at your fries. The extremely high temperature ruined your appetite. The case file sat open on the table as you placed sticky notes on a photocopy of the latest clue.

“’Where the serpent bathes’… that has to refer to the hot springs, right? And the serpent would symbolize this Quintessential guy?”

“Quetzalcoatl. The god’s name is Quetzalcoatl, for Christ’s sake,” Harry chimed in as he dropped off a fresh round of cold draft beers.

“Yeah, that guy,” you said, pointing a fry at Harry in thanks. Marcus laughed at your adorable ridiculousness. You made investigating this mind-boggling case fun.

“Right. And ‘in the earth’s warm embrace’ refers to the warm waters of the hot springs as well. That’s caused by geothermal activity, is that correct, Harry?” Marcus questioned.

The grizzled old barkeep lingered by your table, too caught up in his own curiosity to return to his duties. “Mmhmm, that’s what they say. I’m no rock scientist, mind.”

“You mean a geologist?” you chirped, a shit-eating grin gracing your pretty face.

“Yes, you mouthy little shit. Don’t sass me or I won’t help solve this case,” Harry grumbled. For a moment, Marcus worried you would be offended by the old man, but your tinkling laughter convinced him otherwise.

Marcus stifled a laugh when you rolled your eyes playfully and re-focused his attention on the clue. “That could be the earth’s warm embrace part, then. And ‘beneath the soothing waters’ refers again to the hot springs.”

“Uh huh,” Harry chimed in again, pulling the case file closer to him, aged eyes squinting to read your notes. Neither of you would normally let a civilian get so involved in a case, but Harry proved himself integral to solving this particularly challenging and unusual case. Pointing an arthritic finger to the final line of today’s clue, beneath the soothing waters, he added, “It refers to the artifact being hidden there, beneath one of the hot springs.”

Harry slipped into the booth on your side, and you flashed Marcus a smile. The old man was fully invested now. Thankfully the bar was empty but for a few regulars who could help themselves as far as Harry was concerned.

“Ok, so to summarize, we know the hot springs are involved,” you stated, processing the facts aloud as well as in your head. “And we know that the artifact is hidden beneath one of them. The question we’ve been chasing all day is which one, right? So, do any of the known hot springs have a serpent symbol or painting or something along those lines associated with it?”

Marcus shook his head as you flipped through pages of notes. “Definitely didn’t see any in the ones we checked out today.”

“Oh, for the love of all that is holy, you two idiots will be my age by the time you figure this out,” Harry stood from the booth, his voice gruff with annoyance, though whether that was from dealing with the two of you or the effort it took to stand with aged, arthritic bones was anyone’s guess. “You’ll want to check out Riverbend Hot Springs in the morning. You’re welcome.”

Mouths agape, you both watched the cantankerous old man shuffle back to the bar, grumbling to himself the whole way.

“Did he just solve the case for us?” Marcus asked when his gaze shifted back to you.

“I think so,” you laughed. “Thank fucking goodness. My eyes were starting to cross from looking at this file so much.”

Looking it up on his phone, Marcus confirmed that the Riverbend Hot Springs were closed until morning. Knowing their work was done for the day, he flashed you a heated look. “Want to go back to my room? Maybe cool off in the shower?”

Marcus had a nicer room than yours, the walk-in shower encased in glass and large enough to fit a few people. The perks of being a director, you guessed.

You barely glimpsed at the room before Marcus backed you against the already deadbolted door. His mouth pressed against yours, tongue dancing along the seam of your lips, begging for entry. You let him in eagerly, tongues tangling and teeth clashing with urgency. His hands were everywhere, stripping away your clothes and sliding against already bare skin in turn.

Once you both gave into the spark, stoking the fire into flames last night, the want turned into a blazing inferno that neither of you could extinguish. Not that you wanted to, anyway. No, you were content to burn to a crisp as the fire raged.

Marcus had you stripped naked within minutes, his mouth having never left your own in the process. Eager to return the favor from last night, you sunk to your knees, undoing his belt and shorts as you stared up at him. Marcus tore off his shirt while you shoved his shorts and boxer briefs down his slim hips to pool at his feet.

“Oh, fuck,” Marcus moaned as you wrapped your hand around his hardened length, testing the girth and weight of it in your grip. You tugged playfully a few times, getting to know the feel of him. Still staring into his lust blown eyes, you slowly leaned forward to glide the head of his cock around your plump lips before slipping him inside your mouth. A delicious whine fell from his lips when your tongue lapped at the little droplet of precum without breaking eye contact.

Not wanting to torture him unnecessarily, you began to move, taking more of his cock into your mouth until he bumped the back of your throat. Bobbing your head, you soaked his cock with your saliva, sucking every now and then to increase the sensation. Your left hand tugged the base of him where your mouth couldn’t quite reach, twisting with each upward stroke to further enhance his pleasure, as your right hand massaged his balls.

Panting heavily above you, Marcus slapped his palms against the door to support himself as you continued sucking his cock. Experimenting with how far you could take him, you hollowed your cheeks, easing farther down his length and breathed through your nose.

“Jersey girl… ungh. Please, I’m gonna come down that pretty little throat if you don’t stop.” You could feel his thigh muscles flex and twitch with the effort of not blowing his load down your throat as he stuttered out the words.

Taking pity on the man, you eased back until his cock audibly popped out of your mouth, a string of saliva connecting you until Marcus severed the link by stepping backwards on shaky legs.

“You are too good at that, my little minx. Come here.” Marcus helped you up, leading you into the shower once you regained your balance. He kissed you deeply as the cool water from the shower head cascaded over you both.

The water felt good on your overheated skin and Marcus pressed you backwards against the sturdy glass. Hiking a leg up around his waist with one hand, he gently cradled the side of your face in the other. Your gazes locked as he reached around your thigh and teased your clit.

“So wet for me, my Jersey girl.” Already on edge from sucking his cock, you were drenched and ready for him. “Did sucking my cock turn you on that much, my Jersey girl?” You mewled and, with the slightest shift of his hips, Marcus notched his cock at your entrance, feeding you inch by inch until your walls gripped his entire length tightly. “Fuck, you feel like heaven.”

Droplets of water rained down your bodies as he thrusted into you, your lips pressed open-mouthed against each other, noses bumping, exchanging breaths and moans without actually kissing. The stretch was intense but pleasurable, and you could feel every ridge of him inside you.

You suddenly realized why that was.

“Shit, we forgot a condom,” you said in between moans, your hands grasping his plump ass to make certain he didn’t stop.

Marcus showed no signs of stopping, his hips almost seemed to pick up the pace. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck no!” you gasped; eyes fluttering shut as he nudged that spot inside you just right. “Please don’t ever fucking stop.”

“Ok,” he breathed against your lips. “I’m clean and it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone.”

“Same,” you replied. “And I’m on birth control, so please, come inside me.”

Marcus groaned deeply at that, his head shifting so he could nip at your neck, soothing the sting with little kitten licks of his tongue. Pulling back, he murmured, “Turn around.”

You did so, whining as he slipped out of you. With a gentle hand, Marcus pushed your upper body against the glass and pulled your hips closer to him so your back arched perfectly. Your tits were pressed up against the glass wall of the shower and, just beyond it, you could see your reflections in the mirror. Only a slight mist of steam swirled in the air from the temperature of the water, and it didn’t hinder your view at all as Marcus closed in behind you, slipping his cock back where it belonged.

You watched your reflections, mesmerized, as he fucked into you, his wet hair flopping over his forehead when he bent forward to kiss along your shoulders and neck. Your hands came up on either side of your head to brace yourself against the glass, hoping that the strength of his thrusts wouldn’t cause it to shatter.

Marcus reached a hand around your thigh, slipping between your legs to pluck at your clit as you fucked you. Every single cell in your body felt aflame, ready to burst at the pleasure racing through you. It didn’t take long for you to explode, eyes squinted shut as you keened.

“That’s it, baby. Just like that. Come on my cock, my little Jersey girl. I can feel your cum gushing around me. Fuck, baby.” Once again, Marcus talked you through it in the soft voice of his. He continued thrusting as your walls trembled around him, driving him right over the edge after you, rope and rope of cum splashed your walls as he made the loveliest sex sounds in your ear.

You stayed like that, pressed up against the glass with the weight of Marcus leaning against you, chests heaving, until you both came back down from the high. Taking a few minutes to actually wash the day off each other, you settled on the bed wrapped in towels afterwards.

The two of you talked long into the night and, unable to keep your hands or mouths off each other, you had sex twice more before falling asleep.

Unable to come to an agreement on whether backup would be necessary at this point, you and Marcus finally decided to bring one officer to investigate the Riverbend Hot Springs with you. An extra pair of eyes could be useful, on that you both agreed.

Known for its scenic outdoor pools on the banks of the Rio Grande, visitors usually flocked to Riverbend. The facility not only had the hot springs, but hotel rooms and spaces for recreational vehicles as well. The manager was less than pleased when Marcus informed him that any guests present would have to stay in their rooms and out of both the common and private pools during the search. The last thing the investigation needed was public interference or contaminated evidence.

Searching the private pools first to appease the guests and resort manager, Marcus swiped his hand over his sweaty face when you found nothing.

“Let’s check the common pools now,” he sighed, wondering if it would be another fruitless adventure.

Another two hours of searching – lifting stones, moving decorative displays, going inside the pools themselves, even going so far as to request a shovel from the grounds crew to poke around in the landscaping – turned up nothing.

“At least there’s only one pool to go,” you said, trying to stay positive about finding something. “This has gotta be the one, right?”

“Let’s hope,” Marcus replied. Drenched in a mixed of sweat and mineral water, he wanted nothing more than to slip between cool sheets with you and an ice-cold drink. This case sucked.

Located at the far end of the property, overlooking the Rio Grande, a rock wall encased the final pool for support given the topography on the side along the river dipped lower. Marcus directed the officer to start at one end while he joined you in working your way up from the riverbank. Thorough in your search, you left literally left no stone unturned. One particular large slab placed in the landscaping next to the pool like a decorative display required your and Marcus’ strength combined to lift, and you gasped when you saw what sat in hiding beneath it.

“Is that a fucking trap door?” Marcus asked with a grunt as he glanced down and pushed the rock slab to the side.

“Yeah, it fucking is.” Bending down to open it, Marcus stopped you.

“Wait a second, Jersey girl. We don’t want to just go rushing down there.” He called the officer over for a quick chat, asking him to find the manager and see if anyone knew anything about where the trapdoor led.

Minutes later, the manager and resort engineer joined the group. No one knew a damn thing about what they found. It wasn’t depicted on the as-built drawings or any other schematics the engineer had on file. That did not bode well. Turning to the officer, you asked him to call for back up.

“We’ll head down to scope it out. Come down once backup gets here. In the meantime, please keep the guests away from this area,” Marcus directed the officer and manager before turning to you. “Ready, Jersey girl?”

Pulling your service weapon from its holster, you nodded confidently. “With you at my side, I’m ready for anything.”

Marcus flashed that boyish grin before wrenching the trapdoor open. As suspected, narrow steps carved into the stone descended down into darkness. Before Marcus could ask for one, the facility engineer handed him a flashlight.

Stepping carefully down the steps with the flashlight held high in one hand and his service weapon in the other, Marcus descended into the dark unknown with you right on his heels. At the bottom, a pathway led through more rock, dim light visible in the distance. You reach out while walking along the pathway to find the rock is surprisingly warm.

“I expected it to be cool to the touch,” you murmured, not wanting to make too much noise in case someone or something waited in the shadows.

“Hmm?”

“The walls,” you pointed when Marcus turned around. “They’re warm.”

Directing the beam of light in the direction you pointed, Marcus touched the back of his hand to the wall and looked back at you with a questioning brow. “How?”

“I have no fucking clue,” you shrugged.

“Latent heat from the surface?” he took a guess.

“Your guess is as good as mine. We’re below ground deep enough that it shouldn’t be this warm.”

Marcus continued on down the path, the rock walls growing warmer the farther you progressed. Finally, you turned a corner into a dimly lit chamber, the air filled with oppressive heat making it hard to breathe. You both scanned the room for threats, finding none. The chamber was oddly free of spider webs or bugs or people, aside from the two of you, but a pool of water bubbled inside a ring in the stone floor. Above the pool, an abnormally large, fiery opal appeared to float in the air, the glow from it the only source of light in the chamber aside from the flashlight in Marcus’ hand.

“What the fuck?” you questioned, confused as all hell why the gem just floated in air. “I’m getting some real X-Files type vibes and I DO NOT like it.”

Marcus couldn’t help the twitch of his lips even though he was just as confused as you. “This must be the Flame of Quetzalcoatl.”

“Ya think?” Your nerves made you snarky, a trait Marcus found profoundly adorable and endearing.

Stepping closer to the artifact, Marcus shielded his eyes from the fiery glow. He reached out with one long finger, nearly touching the object when the grinding sound of rock against rock reverberated through the chamber. Jerking back instinctually, both you and Marcus drew your pistols on the sudden intruder.

“Who the fuck are you?” you blurted at the man, your nerves shot to shit, your FBI training the only thing holding you together at that point.

Wild-haired, with oddly composed attire, the man practically vibrated with energy, a glint of insanity in his eerily green eyes. Under one arm, he carried another landscape painting, likely just stolen from another gallery. As if by magic or something equally befitting the utterly odd nature of this entire case, the other stolen paintings appeared, strategically placed along the rock walls rounding the chamber.

“I really don’t like this, Marcus,” you said through gritted teeth. His concerned gaze met yours briefly. “Me either, Jersey.”

It happened, as these things tend to do, suddenly and unexpectedly. The man lunged forward, dropping the painting without thought, and reached a trembling, emaciated hand toward the artifact. Marcus matched the man’s movement, reaching for him rather than the floating, glowing gem. In the process, a glass pedestal you didn’t even know was there, nearly invisible but surely the reason the artifact appeared to be floating in air, toppled over, sending the artifact flying.

You watched, awestruck and frozen in shock, as Marcus tackled the crazy man to the hard ground and the artifact shattered against the rock wall, simultaneously. Almost immediately, the temperature plunged until a damp coolness filled the formerly stuffy chamber, and the man shrieked in despair.

“No! No! No! You’ve ruined everything!” The man continued screeching. Moments later, TCPD officers rushed into the stone room, a few assisting Marcus with securing the thief in cuffs.

Among the backup that just arrived, the police chief stepped up to your side as you gave Marcus a hand in getting back on his feet. “Strangest thing,” the thick-bearded, squat man in uniform said, “the temperature dropped at least twenty-five degrees out of nowhere, just as we started making our way down here. Am I to believe it had something to do with whatever happened down here?”

You and Marcus shared a look before shrugging at the police chief. “I have no clue what even happened down here,” Marcus admitted. Tilting his chin in the crazy man’s direction, he added, “Your boys will bring him in for questioning? We’d like a shot at him, too.”

“Of course. We’ll get him processed. Come by the station whenever you’re finished up here.” The chief followed the officers escorting the man from the chamber, leaving behind a forensics team to gather evidence.

Standing above the shattered artifact, you sighed. “How the hell do I write this up in a report?”

“Very carefully and creatively,” Marcus replied with a smirk.

The interrogation didn’t take long, the man caving like a deck of cards in the wind. His name was Edmund Fawkes, a local starving artist driven mad by the excessive heat. Already obsessed with ancient mythology and local lore, he discovered the hidden chamber containing Quetzalcoatl’s Flame and, seeking the power and prosperity described in the legends, decided to take possession of it by appeasing the ancient god with landscape paintings.

It didn’t work, clearly, but Edmund was relentless in his insanity, continuing his thievery until you and Marcus caught him.

None of it made sense and there were so many things that could be attributed to entirely coincidental circumstances that you didn’t really care how the pieces fit together. The thief had been caught, the paintings returned to the appropriate galleries largely undamaged, and the town was no longer in the clutches of a deadly heat wave. That was all that really mattered.

On your way out of the police station, the case solved as far as the bureau was concerned, you turned to Marcus. “How long are you sticking around?”

Gazing at you with those chocolate puppy eyes, his lips twitched into a grin. “I have several weeks of PTO saved up. Figured I’d use some of that. Maybe all of it if I have a reason to.”

You grinned back at him. “I’m sure we could find a reason for that.”

An hour later, the sun dipping past the desert horizon, you found yourselves naked and neck deep in the soothing mineral water of a private hot springs pool. Given that business was completed, you checked out of the hotel the bureau set you both up in and reserved a room at the best resort in town for a couple days of relaxation.

“I’m going to miss this odd little town, especially Harry and his dingy pub,” Marcus said, pulling you closed to his side as you soaked in the soothing water.

“Me, too. I’m going to miss you most, though. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, both professionally and otherwise,” you admitted, leaning your head against his bare shoulder.

Marcus stilled for a moment before tightening his hold on you. “Why don’t you come back to DC with me?”

“What?” Your head tilted back to meet his eyes.

“You said you put in for a transfer back to the east coast, right?” You nodded and he continued. “Well, come back with me and we’ll have that transfer fast tracked. I’m certain there’s a position for you in DC. We won’t be on the same team, but that’s probably a good thing.”

You giggled at the boyish grin he flashed you. “If you’re sure, I’m game. I just don’t want you to feel like we’re rushing into anything.”

“Pssh, rushing, smushing. I’ve waited long enough to find someone like you. Now that I have, I’m not letting you go,” Marcus insisted. Gesturing between you, he added, “I mean it. There’s something amazing here, I know it. We can leave in a few days, spend a week or two exploring the city and each other before getting back to work.”

At a loss for a worthy response, you pressed your lips against his. The soft kiss quickly turned heated as you spun, straddling his lap, with your hands gripping the stone edge of the pool. Marcus ran his fingertips down the slick skin of your bare back as you squirmed into place, his cock swelling to life at the feel of you above, against, around him.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to ride you yet,” you murmured against his lips, grinding your bare pussy down on him.

“Now’s your chance, Jersey girl,” Marcus gasped through a moan. “Take me and use me, baby.”

Overheated despite the contrasting bite of cool air on your damp skin and warm water engulfing half your body, you eased yourself down onto his cock. You’d never get used to the exquisite stretch as he split you open. Drawing out the anticipation, you slid down his length with agonizing slowness, eliciting delicious whines from Marcus.

“Don’t torture me, baby. Please,” he begged to no avail. Peppering his handsome face with kisses, you kept the pace slow and torturous until he writhed beneath you.

At last, you took his full length inside you and started to move, bouncing eagerly on his cock with your head thrown back in pleasure. Marcus’ eyes stared at your breasts, bobbing along the water line and glistening from splashes of the mineral water as you moved on him. Mesmerized, he could look nowhere else, and his fingers shifted to pluck at the hardened peaks of your nipples.

The air temperature continued to drop as night set in, steam rising up from the warm water of the pool, dancing along your skin in beautiful swirls of water vapor. The clear, starry sky the perfect backdrop to your love making – for that’s what it was now, so much more than sex this time as you gave your whole self over to this wonderful, unexpected man who changed your life in a matter of days.

Overwhelmed with feelings, you keened as his cock nudged at all the right placing, your clit stimulated by grinding on his lap. “Fuck, Marcus. I’m gonna cum.”

Marcus thrust his hips upward at that statement, eager to drive you straight over the cliff into that beautiful abyss. “Do it, baby. Come all over my cock, my beautiful Jersey girl.”

Always good at following instructions, you did just that. Your eyelids slipped closed as you spasmed around him, head thrown back in ecstasy, his name falling like a prayer from your lips.

��That’s it, just like that,” Marcus crooned, pressing soothing kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck. “You’re strangling my cock, baby. Gonna make me come too, sexy girl.”

A few more erratic thrusts upward and Marcus came with a fury, cock pulsing with rope after rope of his spend deep inside you. Breathless and exhausted, you clung to each other until shivers settled in from the plunging temperature.

“Let’s get inside, my Jersey girl. We’ll clean up, climb under the covers, and cuddle while we make plans for the future.”

fin

#little lady kinky may #writing challenge 3.0 #iamasaddie game #marcus pike #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike smut #marcus pike fluff #mystery #aztec myth #nonsensical plot

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webbluvrsugar · 7 months ago

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since you’ve enjoyed my latest challengers fic, let me present you to the spoiledtennis!reader au with art!

(click here for pt1 - smut)

i´m thinking about a spoiled hispanic cutie, you just came from Spain with your parents and they're loaded, so loaded that they can afford a mansion with a random tennis court on your backyard, even if you have no interest in it, they bring you to watch some of art´s matches, imagine he's just starting his career, single and every lady wants him, your parents are so amazed by the way he plays that they hire him to be your private coach. He's new in this, he doesn't know if he can do it but it's a lot of money, money he can´t refuse because it'll help his career, so he accepts it, comes to your house and meets you on the court, anxious because he doesn't know what you're like only to find out.... you have no interest for the sport.

He's angry, he thinks you're making fun of him and his career, that your parents are making fun of him - but you explain you never wanted this, that you never even wanted to play tennis, and you're blunt, straight forward, eating him up with your eyes, so of course, he starts liking you, starts biting into your conversations because the accent that comes off your lips excites him - and so does your tongue piercing - and hey, free money is still money, so he explains why he likes the sport so much, eventually gets you on the court, praises you when you start learning and those praises turn into forehead kisses, to pecks and to him eating you out in your bed when your parents are out for golf or some of their rich activities, and he knows he shouldn't be doing this, that it could ruin his future in tennis, but you both like the rush, and you'd never let his parents ruin him.

planned some outfits for spoiledtennis!reader too!!

> hope you like her as much as I do!

> might make more of her looks and visuals on my main profile @webbluvrkleo.

#challengers smut #challengers au #challengers movie #challengers 2024 #josh o connor #challengers #art donaldson #art donaldson smut #patrick zweig #tashi duncan #art x you #art donalson x reader #art Donaldson x you #art Donaldson au #patrick Zweig au #tennis #webbluvrsugar #𝜗𝜚: art donaldson #𝜗𝜚: spoiledtennis!reader

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princessbrunette · 1 year ago

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thinking ab rafe forcing you to go to the country club with him and you only go so you can drink nice mimosas, gossip with old rich ladies and gawk at how good rafe looks in polo shirts 🥹🥹🥹 meanwhile he just wants to see your pretty ass in those cute tennis outfits all tipsy :(((

my dream life honestly 😵‍💫

he loves you, but you’re very much his trophy. he’s all smiles and charm when the older members of the club are asking when you’re gonna put a ring on your finger, telling him how pretty his little woman is <3

you find out soooo much gossip from the old ladies, sat around a little white table with glasses of prosecco in the summer sun, your eyes occasionally wandering over to rafe over at the golf course chatting away with senior members that know his father n you’re just so proud to have him as ur man :(

#anon #rafe cameron prompt

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quirkwizard · 6 months ago

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Pro Heroes at the Olympic Games

Well, it's been another three years and another Summer Games has rolled around. Only seems fair I'd try again with a post about what heroes would belong in what games. This can be based on anything from powers to skills to whatever I think would be the funniest to see.

Kamui Woods-Archery: I just think it'd be really cool for Kamui Woods to make a bow and arrow from his wooden body. I don't need any more reason than that.

Midnight-Rhythmic Gymnastics: I mean, a whip is pretty close to a ribbon. And it's not like the outfit she has to wear is that much different from her hero costume.

Sir Nighteye-Golf: Sir Nighteye seems like the kind of guy that would be into golfing. That's it. I just thought it'd be fitting for the guy that looks and dresses like a stoic businessman.

Hound Dog-Handball: This is a sport all about catching and throwing a ball around and keeping it away from another team. Naturally, this should be no problem for the man who is part dog.

Beast Jeanist-Diving: The need for precision and elegance would, in this event, fit great with someone like Best Jeanist. That and it's the sport with the least amount of clothing for him to cheat with.

Mount Lady-Sports Climbing: She's got mountain in her name. Of course that means she's good at climbing. Oh, who am I kidding? She'll just turn giant-sized and reach the top instantly.

Snipe-Shooting: Considering all of his shots are guaranteed hits, I would want to see how disrespectful Sniper would get with this. Like doing it with his eyes closed or even shooting other people's targets.

Miruko-Basketball: I could have chosen any leg-based sport for her, but I wanted to pick the one with some more direct competition. Plus, there is the easy reference in putting her in a Toon Squad jersey.

Present Mic-Breaking: Yeah, apparently breaking dancing is considered an Olympic sport. And look me in the eye and tell me Present Mic of all people doesn't know how to break dance.

Nezu-Table Tennis: This is just the only sport that I think could fit him. Literally. He might be too small to use or do any of the sports on the roster. Even then, he's going to have to wield the paddle like a claymore.

Wild Wild Pussycats-3x3 Basketball: Considering this is one of the few team events that requires such a small number, it only feels fitting to place Ragdoll, Mandalay, and Pixie Bob here. And what about Tora? He can be a cheerleader.

Fat Gum-Wrestling: Could you imagine someone trying to wrestle as big and plushy as Fat Gum? They're going to go in for the grapple and immediately sink right inside of him. Now the real question is whether or not it counts as a clinch or a pin.

Eraserhead-Artistic Gymnastics: I wanted to give him Rhythmic Gymnastics so badly with how well it fits him, he even has the ribbon for it, but it's a women's only sport in the games. Still, this fits well enough with his impressive acrobatic skills.

Edgeshot-Fencing: Perfect set up for a fencer. He can make himself as thin as an epee and extend himself out as his pleases. Plus, it's the only official sport that lets you wear a mask in game, which should be no issue for Edgeshot.

Endeavor-Boxing: While I could say that I think that Endeavor is smart enough to handle the sweet science of boxing, the real reason is that he is that huge. I don't even think he'd need his powers to demolish someone in the ring.

Gang Orca-Water Polo: While Gang Orca would kill in any of the water-based events, he would definitely kill it in an event where hitting something really hard is part of the goal with his strength boost. Seriously, his spike might actually kill someone.

Ectoplasm-Rowing: This sport is all about being as in sync as possible with the rest of the rowers. Why bother when you can have your hivemind of clones work perfectly together? And if any of them run out of juice, just switch out one of your clones with a fresh one, no one will notice.

Hawks-Skating: Like Sir Nighteye, Hawks just looks and acts like he would be a skater. It wouldn't surprise me if it was part of his training at the Hero Commission to appeal to a younger demographic. Now he can truly become like his heroic namesake, Tony Hawk.

#My Hero Academia #Not Quirks #Enji Todoroki #Endeavor #Keigo Takami #Hawks #Shota Aizawa #Eraserhead #Hizashi Yamada #Present Mic #Tsunagu Hakamata #Best Jeanist #Edgeshot #Shinya Kamihara

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badkitty3000 · 7 months ago

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What icks would Five have? Things that are nit character flaws and can be sweet for others but make him cringe

This is a fun one! Five is a grumpy old man with little patience for people, but he's also a romantic at heart, so he probably would be ok with a lot of cheesy couple things (cuddling, holding hands, buying flowers, slow dancing, etc). But I could definitely see him rolling his eyes at a lot of things and refusing to participate in some couple activities. Here's a list I compiled off the top of my head.

Sharing food. This is the first one that came to my head, and it makes me laugh to think about his gf in the beginning of their relationship, casually leaning over to try a bite of his spaghetti and he just knocks her fork out of the way with his and blocks his plate with his arm. "What do you think you're doing?" he'll say incredulously. "Uh...I just wanted to try your food. It looks good." He laughs, shaking his head. "What are you, crazy? Get your own damn spaghetti." Then he continues eating while guarding his plate and giving her the side eye, with no further explanation given.

Sitting on the same side of the table at a restaurant. Along the same lines as the food thing. This is highly annoying, and if you sit in a booth next to him, with the other side completely open, he's going to frown deeply at you and then immediately blink over to the other side. He needs his space, especially when eating. Besides, you can't be trusted not to try and steal something off his plate. Oh, and don't try and feed him a bite of something off your fork. You may find the fork flying across the restaurant after he swats it angrily out of your hand.

Overly "cute" dates. Five is romantic, and he likes to take his ladies out on the town, but he's also traditional. Dinner, movie, stroll around the park, maybe a trip to a museum or aquarium. But other things like mini golf (utterly ridiculous game, also he once got kicked out for attacking the windmill with his club), picnics (he's had enough of eating meals on the ground, thank you very much), costume parties with matching couples costumes (Five Hargreeves does NOT wear costumes. Although, he has no issue seeing his s/o dressed in some sexy little cat or bunny outfit, or maybe even Wonder Woman because maybe he had a crush on her as a kid. Just don't ask him to participate because he's not doing it) are a hard pass.

Texting/sharing memes/social media. We're going to go ahead and assume he lives in an AU where there's cell phones. The phone is a necessity and he loves having a mini computer in his pocket to whip out and prove to someone else how right he is about something. He will text when needed, and in brevity. Yes, he will also send some sexy ones to make sure you're thinking of him and to get ready for whatever he's got planned for you later that night. BUT, there will be no sending memes or funny gifs. He is an old man and probably pronounces it "mee mee" and rolls his eyes when you try to show him one. Social media is also out, so don't bother trying to tag him in anything or make cute anniversary or birthday announcements for him.

Selfies. Just no. If you have a pic of him on your phone, it's probably one you had to sneak when he wasn't looking.

Tickling. I feel like this should go without saying. Some people may think this is cute...Five does NOT. Can you even imagine trying to tickle this man? I guess you could go ahead and try, but I promise it will only be a one time deal and you would be taking your life in your hands. I don't care how much he loves you. He's also not going to be doing the tickling. Unless it's by accident when he's running his hands down your body. And if you kept giggling, he'll sigh heavily and stop what he's doing. "Are you finished?" he'll ask, one eyebrow raised. You'll nod your head, restraining the urge to laugh. Then when he's back to touching you and you start up again, he'll lean back with his arms crossed. "I can't work under these conditions. Let me know when you've pulled yourself together. I'll wait."

This is all I came up with. What are some you think he would have? I love hearing others' takes on Five's little idiosyncrasies. Please share, I want to know!

#five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #number five #umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves headcanon #number five headcanon #headcanon #anon ask

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captaingoldenpants · 2 months ago

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Helluva Lawyer: Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad X Helluva Boss

Saul was dead.

Not “died”, he had been dead for…about a year now?

He had went on this whole thing about finally accepting that he was Jimmy McGill, and apologizing and repenting for the crimes he committed, but that just wasn't good enough for some people!

He was shanked to death by a former client, unhappy with his defense.

He went back to the Goodman persona in hell, probably as a defense mechanism of sorts. But good news!

Good lawyers were very easy to come by down here, for obvious reasons.

His appearance had changed in death, like all sinners.

An lanky anthropomorphic weasel…well, can't say hell didn't have any irony.

Around the afternoon, Saul was in his office.

Playing desk golf.

“Oh! Oh! C'mon, c'mon c'mon!” Saul commented on his own desk golf game.

The marble sized ball rolled right around the hole…and slid back.

“...dang it.” Just then the lawyers phone began to ring.

What in the-

“Hera! I told you I was busy!” Saul yelled on the phone.

“Yeah, well it's important and I didn't want to hear the brat anymore.”

“What the hell are you-” Saul was cut off by a panicking avian voice.

“Goodman!? Y-You’re Saul Goodman!?” Oh shit-uh-uhhhhh

“Y-Yes! Saul Goodman Attorney at Law!”

“I'm Octavia, Octavia Goetia! M-My dad’s uhh-his-his umm…his imp boyfriend is being judged by Satan! He needs defense! He needs a defense lawyer! Now!”

“Well now, alright. You have to come in person and-”

“There's no time! Please!”

“Wait, wait…the Trial is ALREADY HAPPENING?”

“Yes! You-”

“No can do! I try interrupting Satan, I'll end up with my head so high on a pike folks from heaven will be calling in smell complaints.” Octavia’s voice got a bit watery here.

“P-Please! He-My Dad wouldn't…he'd lose it! Please! I- we can get you money! I promise!”

Now, Saul had fallen deeply into his vices ever since he went to hell. But this reminded him of a better time…when he tried to take moral clients. When he tried to do what was right…when he was working with Chuck.

“... Alright, alright! Fine! Location, now!”

“Satan’s courthouse! It's the big…SATAN’S COURTHOUSE!”

“I got it, alright!?” Saul was immediately pulling up directions to it.

“Ok! So I don't know the specifics but- mom what the-no! Mom we have to do-” Octavia’s phone cut out.

“...Miss Goetia? …Great.”

Ok. So Saul:

Did not have any up front pay, or confirmed pay.

Didn't know the charges.

Didn't know anything about the client, except that he was an imp.

He would begin his defense, MID TRIAL.

And-He would be interrupting Satan.

…Saul had this! After all, he did once convince a woman he was Kevin Costner!

…

“-Why don't you keep fucking yourself, ya big asshole!” Bee insulted Mammon, adding in a middle finger for good measure.

“Why don't we-” Satan interrupted the bickering Sins, but ended up getting interrupted himself.

The offender swung open the court doors.

“Sorry! Sorry, everyone! Hey, hi, hello! Oh, lovely outfit there Ozzie! Apologies about my tardiness, but hoo boy! You would not BELIEVE what the roads are like. I expected the fire, but the traffic is the real hell. Am I right?” Saul Goodman ladies and gentlemen!

He wore a Cyan suit, with a lovely green tie. He carried a dark brown briefcase with him, filled with various random papers from his office.

Upon opening the doors, he simply fast walked in. Giving a wink or point at the people in the stands. Upon reaching the defense desk he placed his suitcase on the table and began shuffling papers, giving an aura of actually knowing what the fuck was going on.

“Who the-WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?” Satan slammed his fist on the ground by his side and growled at this fool who DARED to interrupt HIM!

Even for a man who had died before, Saul was shaken.

“Hey umm-uhh yeah, do you mind if I just butt in here? Hey Satan! How about we take a deep breath, and go to our happy place.” Yogirt calmed Satan, being one of the only people allowed to do something like this.

“WHY THE-...Yeah, yeah happy place.” Satan took a deep breath…he did literally hire the Yogi, and it meant nothing if he never did what he said.

Saul had taken some deep breaths, and resumed his air of understanding. Wasn't the first time something like this had happened, the trick was to remain calm and confident. If you give them a hand, they'll take the whole arm.

“Saul Goodman, Attorney at Law of “Goodman and Associates”! This is my client, and this is thereby my trial! Now on that note, why the hell are they gagged and bound?” Satan breathed deeply. Saul had the edge here, he could feel it.

“They were being mouthy.”

“Mouthy? As in they were talking? What else are they supposed to be doing, your honor?” Satan breathed deep again. Happy place…happy place…

“I would like to respectfully ask that the gag’s are removed, so that my clients may have a fair chance.” …damn it, this lawyer was good.

With a snap of his fingers, the gag's came off.

“Fucking finally!” Blitz yelled out in anger.

“Yeah! Fucking finally!” Loona yelled the same, as Saul put his finger up.

“Could-Could you both just let me handle this?” Without waiting for a response he continued “Thank you, thank you.”

“Okay, your honor. Now I wish to know the exact crimes that my client is being accused of.” Goodman inquired.

“Assault, robbery, attempted murder, and traversing the mortal realm without proper credentials.” …Oh.

Ooohhh…

Ohhhh this was bad.

“Well, that is-”

“All of these crimes were committed against a Ars Goetia.”

“No it fuckin-” Blitz was shushed by Saul.

“Just shut up and let your lawyer talk okay? Okay. Your honor, where is the accuser?” Andrealphus spoke up here.

“I am speaking on their behalf, due to their lack of presence here today. It would be invariably damaging to his mental health to have to face this VILE DISGUSTING imp who ABUSED him!” Andrelphus played it up.

“Your honor that's conjecture!” Saul stood up and objected to this.

“Yeah! He's fucking right! Whatever that is!” Blitz flipped off Andrealphus, not helping his case at all.

Satan rubbed the bridge of his snout. The fun part of these trials was the punishment and power, not legal mumbo jumbo!

“Si! This entire trial so far has been a montón de mierda! Hell, Stolas isn't even here! Or Stella!” Vassago ranted, and Saul perked up.

“Wait a minute, if I'm hearing this correctly the accuser is not present? And the accuser is accusing on behalf of the victim? Your honor there are far too many degrees of separation here to conduct a fair trail.”

“Oh my Lucifer…okay. What do YOU suggest that WE do?” Satan was barely hanging onto his calm facade. Yogirt was rubbing his shoulder, trying to keep the big man relaxed.

“I believe that a recess is in order. You keep the accused in custody, and we reconvene in…a week?” Saul shrugged.

“Three Days. Three days and we have our final verdict. Am. I. Clear?”

“Three days! Perfect your honor! Thank you so much!” Saul bowed, the ball was in his court here.

People sighed at having to continue this stupid trial, and Saul went to his clients.

…

Later, in an interrogation room.

“Alright, so thanks for helping…I guess? But why the-” Saul cut him off.

“Err! Let's pump the brakes here, alright? First of all, my payment.” He took out a pen and business card.

“For a case of this magnitude, you're gonna have to pay for premium. $500,879. I'll write it down on the back of the card so you don't forget, Five Zero Zero Eight Seven Nine. Then you'll call your boyfriend or husband or ex or whatever the prince is to you, and have him write it out to “Ice Station Zebra Associates”, that's my loan out totally legit. Money order please, and then we can discuss Sinza or Mammoncard. But not Greed Express, so don't even try.” Saul knew this whole spiel by heart. The only difference was the numbers, and in this case the credit cards.

Before he could continue, the door once again burst open. Why was there so much door interrupting going on?

“Blitzyyyy!” Stolas ran in and hugged the imp.

“Why the-are you okay!?” Blitz rolled his eyes and feigned uncare.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine…just that your asshole brother in law is effing everything up.” Blitz bemoaned.

Before he could continue, Saul interrupted the on and off again lovers.

“Oh, so you're Stolas? …Thought you would have been taller.” Saul then gave the same spiel he gave Blitz, and tucked the business card in Stolas’s cape necklace thing. “Now, assuming you don't want to be beheaded or whatever other form of execution the big fella’s thinking, you have to tell me EXACTLY what happened.”

So, after a lengthy explanation, Saul sighed and face palmed.

“...whew…alright we are-we are not in a good spot here. Okay?” Saul almost defensively put his hands up.

“But let me tell you this. You are going to get the best criminal, criminal defense attorney money can buy. Alright?” Saul packed up his things.

“You three-” He pointed at M&M and Loona. “Are gonna be fine. I'll send a email to Satan right when I get outta here, he won't wanna do extra paperwork. Now me, the boss, and the bird are gonna meet here right after morning chow to discuss a battle plan and strategy. Alright?”

“What!? I'm not staying in this damn joint all night! I'm busting outta here fucking AS-fucking-AP Bitch!” Blitz protested.

“Huh. Aren't you classy? Well too bad, because I need time to talk to my people and get things ordered together. Alright? Look, I'm a lawyer okay? A GOOD lawyer taking this case with ZERO knowledge of what's going on. If bird brain’s kid here didn't call me, I'd be reheating last night’s casserole by now. Sit down, stay quiet, and try not to shank anyone in the chow line alright?”

“Hell-No! Busted outta a joint before, I can do it again.”

“Ugh, Blitz! Just-Please? For me?” Loona pleaded.

“...Fffffffffffucking fine.” Blitz shrugged, and got escorted out by the guards. Saul’s email went through, and the other members of IMP were let go.

While Saul was walking down the steps of the courthouse, Stolas huddled with him.

“Look, Mr Goodman? I-I have an idea okay?”

“Alright? Shoot.”

“Don't these things have like…plea deals?” Stolas remembered a scene in his Hell-o-Novella.

“Well…yes but-!”

“What if I confess in exchange for immunity for him?” Saul put his hand up dismissively.

“Not a chance. First off, only reason I took this failure of a case is cause your daughter has a convincing voice. You think she'll be happy that her dad is a prison wife to Buffalo fricken Bill? Second off, if you get canned where am I gonna get my pay? Not from Mr Assassin, I can tell ya that much!”

…

Saul, Blitz, and Stolas sat in the interrogation room.

“Hey there, Andy. How's jail been, huh?” Saul asked Blitz, making a reference the convict didn't understand.

“Shitty, how do you think?” Blitz made the obvious known. He was understandably unhappy at his brand new Orange Wardrobe, and at the cuffs on his wrists.

“Yeah, well my chi ain't exactly flowing either. Okay, so you cash that check yet eh princy?”

Stolas stiffened, and rubbed his right arm.

“I uhh…don't…have the money.”

“What?” Saul interrogated.

“I do not have the money.” Stolas finished.

Saul threw his hands up.

“Really…Welp, we're done for then.”

“What? No, no! You-Didn’t you promise Octavia you'd do this!? I-I can pay you with my stuff!” Blitz hated being forced to beg, but he wasn't crazy about execution either.

“This isn't just about feeding my greed, alright? I got guys to pay, overhead. We don't get the money, we don't have much of a chance!” Saul explained.

“It's with my ex wife, so-so it's not gone!” Stolas hung on to the only life line he had here.

“Just-Just right now. How much do you have on you?”

“Well…the only income I still get is the $5000 monthly allowance from my father…” No way.

“But uhh…after paying all my things…rent, food, employee salaries…”

“How. Much?” Saul demanded, and Stolas took a deep breath.

“At the end, I have $327 dollars left for luxuries.” Saul threw his hands back.

“Oh, okay then! So we're fucked!” Blitz bemoaned.

At most, if he spent all of IMP’s budget and managed to sell all those collectible plates at full price he'd still only be at like…not enough. What? Moxxie was the one who did numbers!

“Ahh that's just…great. This case just keeps getting better and better, huh? Alright, so how much does your ex wife have?”

“At least $2 million, Mr Goodman.”

“Alright, so we gotta get the cash from your wife…and that's not even mentioning the other issues. Stella and Andrealphus’s interviews came in. Both claim that they saw you acting nervous and a lot shakier this past year, when the divorce happened she began noticing you with bruises and cuts which you claimed happened from falling down the stairs, finally she claims that she saw Blitz beating Stolas on the 18th, and immediately called Andrelphus. The phone records might have been altered, but nevertheless they show a 17 minute call from Stella’s phone to his. 4:00 to 4:17.” Stolas paled, and Blitz slammed his head into the table.

“Great. I'm getting executed. Saul, you need to make sure all my stuff goes to Loona.” Stolas spoke now.

“Oh just…just shut up, okay!? That's not how will’s work, and we are NOT going to give up that easily!” Stolas scolded his boyfriend as the imps head hung low.

“What he said. I gotta plan…” Saul huddled with his clients, and began to explain one of the greatest schemes Slippy Jimmy's concocted.

…

Striker missed his cave hide out.

He was having to live in a small adobe shack on the outskirts of wrath.

At the very least, it had cable so he could watch his westerns and a stable for Bombproof.

He sighed as he walked outside.

“Ohhh Bombproof~! Who wants a tasty cactus fruit with no Benadryl in it~?” Bombproof wanted the tasty cactus fruit with no Benadryl in it!

But.

The tasty cactus fruit he chewed on and swallowed, did in fact have Benadryl in it.

Striker hated having to do this, but Bombproof gave him no choice but to do so. It was the only way Striker could administer a shot.

But, his phone rang. The cowboy checked the caller id, unknown.

He answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes? Hello? Is this Striker?” A greasy voice spilled out of the phone.

“Yeah…how you know my name?”

“This is uhh, Gene Takovic at B.N.M? Well, first of all I just wanna say I am so sorry for your loss.”

Striker was confused. He hadn't had anyone close to him die recently…just a benefit of not being close to people.

“What? Ain't no one died near me.”

“Really? Your great uncle Earl?”

“My who? I don't have a great uncle. Or know anyone named Earl. Ain't got no family no more.”

“Oh really? I just-assumed you and him were close. Well, anyway his estate's in your name now. You're his last living relative.”

That caught Striker's attention.

“Really now? Well, ain't that something.”

“Yeah, I sent the $250 or so dollars to you already.”

Ah. So that's what that package was. Striker just thought it was a tip from a client or something.

“Got it. Was that all?”

“No, uhh there is a small issue at hand. Just some issues with changing hands and all. We just have a few security questions for you, nothing personal.”

“Well, shoot!”

The lawyer asked Striker the question’s. What was his Email, his Password, mother's maiden name, all that stuff.

“That it?”

…

“Yes. Thank you very much sir, we’ll send you a check ASAP.” Saul hung up the phone.

Goodman looked across his desk at Mike.

Mike was a sinner demon. By death, he had turned into a rhinoceros with facial hair made of cattails.

“Alright, where did you want the meet again?” Saul asked his private eye.

…

Stella was pissed.

Granted she was usually pissed, but now it was worse.

First her Husband isn't executed, then she has to spend an hour getting coached by Andrealphus on what to say in the interview, and then she had to actually do the interview!

This was all bullshit!

Unfair, stupid, bullshit!

Oh, and to top it all off!? Striker just HAS to have a meeting immediately!

And it can't be over the phone, can't be at any good coffee shop, it HAD to be this ratty motel!

Her anger was interrupted by a knock on the door.

She waited for a butler to open the door as there was another knock.

…Oh yeah, she was alone here.

She sighed loudly, and went to open the door. Letting the cowboy in.

Wait no, that's not striker. That's some Rhino.

“What in Lucifer's-” But Mike already pushed his way in, shutting the door behind him.

“Who the hell are you!?” Stella was somehow even more pissed off.

“That doesn't matter. Here's what’s gonna happen. You're gonna reach in ya cummerbund, and take out your checkbook.” Ehermantraut ordered before Stella laughed.

“Oh! That's a good one. I bet Andrelphus hired you. You can go now.” Stella shooed with her hands. Even Mike was taken aback at her cluelessness.

“Not a performer. Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna reach in your cummerbund, left side, and take out your checkbook. I saw you take the checkbook out 12 minutes ago to buy those earrings.”

“How fucking dare you! You stalker son of a bitch!” Stella picked up a lamp and was about to chuck it at Mike.

“You're not gonna do that. Considering that this room was prepaid, you have not interacted with any staff so far and there is zero proof that you were ever here. Adding onto that if you throw that, you will have to write a check to pay for it. Otherwise, you will be tried under vandalism. Same thing with if you kill me.” Mike knew how to deal with spoiled brats. The trick was to remain firm and constant.

“An Ars Goetia should not be found in a seedy place like this. If you throw that, attack me, or kill me, then you will be forced to explain why you were here to everyone. Exposing your scheme. Understand?” Stella was shocked and taken aback, dropping the lamp on the bed.

“That's-That’s not fair!” She hung to one of her only lifelines.

“It is. Now you're going to take out your checkbook.”

“But-But-”

“You are going to take out your checkbook.”

Stella huffed. She didn't have a choice…one of the only times in her life where yelling, hitting and screaming wouldn't solve anything.

She slowly took out her checkbook…

“Now you are going to write out a check. $500,879. That's Five, Zero, Zero, Eight, Seven, Nine. Made payable to Stolas Ars Goetia.” Stella halted her pen.

“That-That damn Imp fucking bastard!? Like hell I'm giving anything to him! He is a idiotic crybaby adulterer! He-He is loud and annoying and he just cries like ALL the time! Oh and he sings these just horrible songs! The tone deaf idiot! He is a imp fucking, lower class roaming, disgusting, wimpy, failure of a man and person!”

“Hmph. Is that so? Well, you're gonna continue writing that check. Five, Zero, Zero, Eight, Seven, Nine. Made payable to Stolas Ars Goetia. Need me to spell it for ya?”

“No I-I will call Andrelphus when I'm out of here! Yes! Mhhm! He-He’ll find you!”

“You don't know my residence, you don't know my occupation, you don't even know my name. Besides, do you really wanna get chewed out by him?”

No! No that was…Stella was backed in a corner…

“There we go…Thank you.” Mike took the check out of her hands and walked to the door.

“Oh, and by the way. If this check bounces, or doesn't go through? We're gonna have another talk. And I don't think you want that, do you?”

…

Great. Andrealphus’s day was just going perfect. Yesterday Stella spends $500,000 dollars on jewelry, and the day before that he had to spend HOURS coaching Stella on what to say in the interview!

Now, Stolas call’s him and he just HAS to talk in person. This tea had BETTER be good. Oh who was he kidding? Pringles made some damn fine scones. Especially with that Cinnamon glaze…mmm…

“Hold on a second sir.” A rhinoceros sinner demon by the Castle’s front doors held up and hand and stopped him.

“Excuse me?” Andrelphus said, almost aghast at this tomfoolery.

“I'm the new security consultant. Everyone who's not Octavia Ars Goetia, or Stolas Ars Goetia are to be searched.”

“What? I'm Andrelphus Ars Goetia. Stolas’s brother in law? Octavia's Uncle? I should be allowed in.”

“Sorry sir. Only two people allowed in without a search are Octavia and Stolas Ars Goetia.”

“Ughhhhhhhhhhghghghhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhh!” Andrelphus drew out his annoyed groan and began opening his pockets.

He didn't have many pockets, so he also carried around a purse. It was a dark blue leather, with a snowflake design at the top.

The security consultant looked everything over, opening the purse and picking up some items in the process.

“Alright, sorry about this sir.” He handed everything back to the Goetia.

“You better be.” Andrelphus yanked his items back, and went to go talk to Stolas.

When he arrived on the patio, Stolas happily poured him a cup of tea and handed him one of those heavenly scones.

“Andre! So glad to see you.” The Jack Frost wannabe took his own seat with a scowl.

“Considering that we are currently at odds, your graciousness is more than a little suspicious.” Stolas waved his hand.

“Oh, it's all just water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned! I was just uhh, wondering if I could talk to you about colleges for Octavia?” This peaked Andre’s interest.

There was not much he loved more than having his ego stroked, and having Stolas come to him for expertise? That was great. After all, Andrelphus’s branch of the family had been alumni and donors to several of the most prestigious colleges in all the seven rings.

“Well now! Isn't that interesting…”

…

Right when Andrelphus was out of sight, Mike took the planner he stole and walked to a nearby trash can.

“Got it Goodman. Time to get to work.” Said Lawyer began to rise out of his hiding spot.

“Yeah, yeah, oww…it's my knees alright? Making a man with bad knees hide in the garbage, I'm not charging these people enough.”

“You got your check, and I got my money. Now get to work.” Saul took the tracing paper and pencil out of his pockets.

“I'm working on it! Whew, Miss Cawolski’s 2nd period art don't fail me now!” Saul first opened the planner to the 18th, seeing it was blank. This meant that Andrelphus’s story checked out…

Saul then began to go through the planner, placing the tracing paper over the letters and numbers he needed to copy.

When it was all said and done, it was said that on the 18th a dinner party was held at Stolas’s Mansion. At exactly the time the call was supposed to take place.

And it said this, in the bird’s own hand writing.

In fact, Saul finished it just in time to pass it to Pringles.

When Andrelphus got tired of his ego being pumped full of hot air, said butler then took Andrealphus bag to carry, and slipped the planner back in.

…

Satan’s courthouse, Pride Ring. Mid afternoon,

This would be the trial that decided the fate of Blitzø Buckzo.

There was a dark air in the room, and the only conversation’s held were hushed.

Stolas was present today, and so was Octavia. Both in the Goetia’s section.

Satan sighed. He hated when a trial had to be an actual trial.

“All rise for the trial of Blitzø Buckzo V Ars Goetia. Oh also, this had better be quick.” Satan sat down, and Andrelphus stood up.

“On behalf of my, beautiful, sister. I accuse that DIRTY imp of abusing, harming, stealing from, and attempting to kill my brother in law! As well as traversing the Mortal realm without any proper cause!” He yelled with a point.

“We already had the assassin come forth, right? So I mean, what's even the point anymore huh?” Mammon said, getting a chorus of agreement.

“Well-I would say that you should hold that thought, sir.” Saul held up a finger, silencing the crowd.

“If I may, your honor, I would like to call the Assassin to the stand.” With a huff Satan honored his request, and Striker was brought up.

Striker realized that Saul and Gene were the same, and snarled at his own lack of foresight. His own greed did tend to blind the cowboy.

He'd shoot Saul. Not now, but definitely in the near future. Or stab him.

“Mr Striker, around 29 minutes ago a dear friend of mine shook your hand.” Striker remembered the elder who he talked about horses with outside the courthouse.

“Yeah? So what? I ain't allowed to meet people?” Striker shrugged.

“He noticed a ink smudge on his hand after shaking yours.” Andrelphus stood up aghast.

“So!? He probably just got it on his hand before he even met him!” Andrealphus defended.

“Well, then why don't you just raise your hands Mr Striker?” Saul countered.

“...No.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“I uhh…I gotta-a thing about it. Childhood trauma, you know?” Striker sheepishly shrugged, looking for any form of defense. In response, Saul changed his assault tactic.

“Phew! You, my friend, have a lot more guts than I. Not many people would be willing to lie to Satan in front of his face!” Thankfully, Satan took the bait Saul layed.

“Oh my Lucifer-JUST RAISE YOUR FUCKING HANDS!” Now Striker was a rebel. He had always been a rebel. But when Satan himself tells you to do something, you don't really have a choice.

With a groan, Striker raised his hands. Revealing the notes Andrelphus had him scrawl on his hands.

“Hah! Sins and Goetia, I think you can see that it is obviously plain that this witness was tampered with! As his testimony is the only thing connecting my client to the attempted murder of Stolas, and the theft of the grimoire and it's usage, I ask that these 3 charges be thrown out!”

“Yeah bitch! How you like them apples you cloaca having fuck face!?” Blitz said, in Andrelphus's direction, cussing as much as he always did.

“Really? I just filed all the…I suppose that all makes sense. But there's still the assault charge.” Satan waved his hand while waiving the charges.

With this decision, Saul had already talked Satan down from the death penalty to at most 50 years.

“Yeahhhhh! Daddy's coming home baby!” It was unclear if Blitz was yelling to Stolas or Loona. Though both shared the same expression of embarrassment.

Saul debated asking for the gag to be put back on Blitz. But decided against it helping his case.

“Heh, what a wordsmith huh folks?” Saul appealed to the crowd.

“Do any of you see this!? With how VILE, RUDE and CRASS this imp speaks how can he be anything BUT an abuser!?” Andrelphus was grasping at straws here, and it failed miserably.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Satan asked.

“Si, ¿qué carajo?” Vassago swore in his native tounge.

Right before Blitz was about to unleash his own stream of obscenities Saul put his hand over his mouth.

“Just-Just shut up and let me handle this! Eww, why'd you lick me!?” Saul pulled his hand back, wiping it on his suit.

“Okay, so uhh…50 years? Yeah? That f-” Satan tried to deliver a verdict.

“We have more to say your honor!”

“Oh my-Fine!”

“Thank you, your honor. We would like to call to the stand, Andrealphus himself!” Said Goetia was aghast!

“What!? You-That is not allowed!”

“I'm uhh, I'm pretty sure it is.” Satan spoke.

“Well it-it shouldn't be! This compromises the integrity of the trial because it uhh…”

“GET ON THE FUCKING STAND!” Yogirt had to come in again.

“Hey Satan, remember to ground yourself~! You know, “two feet on the floor”?”

“Yeah, yeah.” The frosty prince was brought up. He would have been sweating, but it probably froze.

“So, Andrealphus. When exactly did Stella call you again?”

“On-On the 18th. It was around 4? I had just finished chapter 8 of “The collected history and Anthology of Ice Spells (Vol 19)”. It was the chapter about, I think, making weapons frosted?”

“Ok, ok…do you have a PDA? Or some other way of marking your schedule?”

“Yes. I always tend to have my planner with me.”

“Could you please open it to the 18th, and show it to us?”

“Yes. I-” Andrealphus took it out, and opened it to the 18th before stopping abruptly.

This-This was all wrong! He wasn't anywhere on the 18th! Sure he didn't get a call, but he was home all day!

“Mr Andrelphus? Could you please show it to us?” Saul continued, his scheme succeeding.

“I-I-”

“JUST SHOW THE DAMN THING!” Almost all the sins said in unison. Not Satan though. He was finding his happy place. And not Lucifer. He was busy making duckies.

Slowly, Andrelphus brought up the planner…clear as day, in his own handwriting, it read “Dinner Party at Stolas's Mansion. 3:00 pm-6:00 pm.”

“Well-I didn't feel well that day so I didn't-”

“Oh shut up, you were there!” Stolas yelled out with a point. A bit dramatic, but Mike coached them well.

“Yeah! I was also there! He ate like, 7 scones.” Vassago added.

“Probably forgot it because of how much he drank…you got really drunk uncle Andre.” Octavia added her own section to the script, but it worked.

“I didn't do a thing!” Andrelphus slammed his hands slammed his hands on the stand, ice emanating from the strike.

“There wasn't any party! I wasn't there! I didn't eat any scones, and I certainly didn't get drunk! I didn't write this in my planner! Some-Someone else did! This is-it was a spell! It must have been! I'd never get that drunk! You all know I wouldn't get blackout drunk! I've never done it before! This is all-this is a conspiracy! I won't stand for it! This-this chicanery!” Andrelphus's freak out ended with another desk slam. His pupils had shown and snow fell around him.

“Damn…” Loona was aghast.

“Oh my Lucifer…” Beelzebub was also surprised.

Seeing a prim and proper man like him lose it was always a strange sight.

“I-I mean…what I meant to say was-” Satan cut him off.

“Great. So now it's revealed that this ENTIRE THING HAS BEEN A IDOTIC WASTE OF MY TIME!” Satan slammed his fists down, lava splashing where he hit.

“IF YOU EVER ATTEMPT TO PLAY ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WILL BURN YOU TO A CRISP AND GRIND ANYTHING THAT REMAINS INTO YOUR SISTER'S FACE!”

“Y-Yes sir! I am-I don't know what-”

“Blitzo Buckzo is freed from any and all charges! But you had BETTER NOT SHOW UP HERE AGAIN!” Satan got down near him, snorting out steam. Saul wasn't afraid. It was like he was looking through the devil.

“Yes sir! You won't ever see me again!” Blitz smiled as Stolas and Loona ran over and hugged him. Millie and Moxxie followed soon after.

“Thank you Goodman. I-...He wouldn't have been okay without you.” Octavia told the lawyer, who remained still.

“Yes, thank you very much Mr Goodman.” Stolas bowed, showing his father's teaching held no meaning.

“Saul, you get a permanent 50% discount on any IMP assassinations! ...Goodman? GOODMAN!” At Blitz’s yelling, Saul finally got out of his mind fog.

“Huh? Oh, oh yeah we won…hooray.” Jimmy straightened his tie.

“Yep, told ya you'd get your money's worth! I-I uhh…got-got business to be doing.” He handed out business cards to everyone around him.

“Remember, D.U.I? Sue? Anything? You get locked in jail, you “Better Call Saul”!” Saul posed with a point. The memories of Chuck being buried again.

Saul then left the courthouse, brushing off any thanks, Andrelphus's threats, and Mike's debrief.

Saul walked back to his apartment, a seedy place in the entertainment district of Pentagram City.

He chose this because it was close to a lot of potential clients, including the Vee’s.

He walked into the apartment, tossing off his jacket and pouring a whisky.

He turned on the TV, watching some random show. He saw one of his own commercials.

When it finished, he paused and rewinded.

As he rewatched the commercial, he realized why he helped that girl.

It felt like he was redeeming himself. Saving another family.

It made Saul feel ok again…no.

It made Jimmy feel ok again. For a second, he forgot.

#helluva boss #better call saul #breaking bad #crack fic #saul goodman #blitzø #stolas #stolitz #mastermind #mike bullies Stella

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couldawouldashoulda50 · 6 months ago

Note

That was hot since we’re on a smutty role you know William is trying to restrain himself from fucking her on the golf course they got an audience and here she is testing his patience and limits by giving a good view of 🍑 and she sending him pics cause she’s being a little brat his brat 🔥

This may not be exactly what you had in mind nonnie, but Loren has to ease into channeling her inner brat 😉 She first needs a little help from a friend to show her how it's done. Lastly, I'm sorry these get a little long - I apparently don't know how to stfu sometimes.... 🤐

William is used to having to restrain himself from fucking Loren in most public situations.

Food shopping. Brunch. A get-together at a friend’s apartment.

An exclusive golf course during a quick couple’s getaway with David Pastrnak and his wife.

Long time brothers from another mother, David and William were keen to introduce their respective ladies to each other. David and Rebecca met Loren during her first stay in Stockholm, and it was clear from the onset that the two ladies didn’t ‘just get along’. They seem to bring out the more daring, sassy and fun sides of each other’s personality.

On the day the four arrived at the resort, there were two large events taking place. The women to men ratio - it was evident that the men had no shortage of gorgeous women to gawk at.

Later in the evening, Loren and Rebecca continued to get ready for dinner in their suites, while William and David headed to the bar for drinks while they waited.

As Loren and Rebecca walked into the busy restaurant, they eventually spot their men at the bar.

The ladies both scoff and roll they eyes as they witness William and David being their friendly selves while being surrounding by some adoring female fans. They can’t help it. They’re both charming, bordering on flirtatious - as unintentional as it is, that’s just how they are.

Rebecca notice Loren was a little rattled seeing all the women that were surrounding her beau. Rebecca gives her a pep talk and tells Loren to try and follow her lead. After all, she’s been with David for many years…this scene is nothing new to her.

The whole evening, the ladies are very attentive to their men. Of course, it spanned well into the after hours where Loren tended to William orally - after which, he fell asleep, leaving Loren unfulfilled.

In the morning, Rebecca texted Loren to wear the new golf outfit they bought together, but cover it up with track pants and a sweater.

They get to the course, and both Rebecca and Loren discard their sweats, donning their new golf attire. Rebecca’s in a form fitting white shorts and a white v-neck sleeveless golf shirt and Loren’s in a little black skort with the hem just covering the apex of her thighs and a tight white tank top. Loren’s natural and full breasts look simply magnificent in this tank.

William looks flustered especially when he sees other golfers rubber-necking after Loren as they walk to their cart.

“You look….” William makes the ‘whoa’ expression as he looks her up and down.

Loren approaches him and smiles seductively as he puts on his golf glove. She runs her hand over his covered chest and torso and murmurs “so do you….” and lightly kisses his cheek. At the same time, she reaches her hand around and gave his ass a little squeeze.

At the first tee, Rebecca was up. She gracefully leans over with her tee and her ball in her hand and inserts it into the ground. As she stands up, she gives her long hair a shake and as she assesses the fairway. She looked as enticing as a Victoria Secret model as she checked her stance and positioning before teeing off.

Loren watched how skillfully and subtly Rebecca tempted her husband from afar, and she saw David enjoying every second of watching his wife.

Rebecca hit a beautiful drive, just slightly to the left of the fairway.

David was next, and his drive was not nearly as impressive as his wife’s.

Loren was up next. Rebecca had given her a few pointers, not in relation to golf however. Arch her back. Ass out. Give the booty a little more shake than usual.

William watched as Loren leaned over to slide her tee into the ground. As if everything was in slow motion, his eyes landed squarely on that beautiful round ass, the one he had planned to grip onto the night before had he not fallen asleep.

William had only been out golfing with Loren a handful of times, but he was aware that she had skill. Today, there was a different air about her. She stood taller, more confident, and William couldn't help but melt a little looking at her. She positioned herself with her legs spread just right, doing a little of everything Rebecca suggested. William didn’t care that she seemed to be teasing him a little. He was more than happy to visualize some pre-dinner activities once they're back in their suite.

With William being William, he had to rib Loren a little bit. “Love the show but we might need to speed this up a bit.”

Loren retorted without moving from her stance or missing a beat. “I'm not fucking Patrick Cantlay....” She swayed her hips seductively as she heard the group laugh.

With the most perfect sounding “thwack”, Loren’s ball sliced through the sky, landing squarely in the middle of the fairway.

Loren would never dream of acting outwardly smug, but fuck...that drive was good. And her game only got better.

All day long, her confidence grew, and maybe a little bit of an attitude was born. Golf seemingly has so many sexual innuendos and Loren and Rebecca seemed to have thought of them all.

When William was taking a practice swing, Rebecca commented "Wow - it's got the biggest head and stiffest shaft I’ve ever seen..." William dropped his head chuckling and David muttered something under his breath.

As the group arrived at the next hole, Loren called over from the ball washer "David - I can clean your balls if you want?" Rebecca nearly choked from laughter.

Loren soon found out that teasing William plus having an outstanding round of golf made her even more irresistible to him. His hands were dipping under her skort while she drove the cart. He made lude suggestions in her ear right before she sank a 12 foot putt.

Loren and William won the round but there were no celebratory drinks following the game. David all but hoisted Rebecca over his shoulder when they returned to the resort and headed to their suite.

William on other hand was more sensual with Loren when they returned to their room. He told her to stay in her golf attire. He positioned her on the bed on all fours, and moved the fabric that clothed her pussy to the side. He edged her into oblivion with his hands, mouth and cock, praising her and showing her exactly how proud he is to have her.

#william x loren #nonnie ask 🥵#william nylander #william nylander smut #david pastrňák

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asbestos4president · 2 months ago

Text

Hamuel Burger and the American Dream episode 4 trancript

Episode title: Indeterminance Night and the Mercurial Vision (audiobook part one)

Patty: How about this?

Indie: So you're wearing a minecraft hoodie. Puke green cargo shorts. A tamagotchi necklace permanently stuck on the death screen. And on your head is a baseball cap with the text "the only thing I love more than chess is being an aunt".

Patty: It's funny cause I'm not an aunt!

Indie: I love it, I really do, but I'm just worried the Australian Prime Minister will see your outfit and not be able to avoid falling in love at first sight. That's how the Trojan war started! Another Trojan War would ruin my vacation!

Patty: You don't have to worry about that. I would never let a horse inside my home. In fact, I'm very afraid of horses. They have this permanently disappointed expression that always reminds me of my mother. Have you ever noticed that?

Indie: Fair. You know we didn't have to go to a thrift store to get you clothes, right? You are currently one of the richest women in America.

Patty: Which is exactly why we had to go to that thrift store! Look at all the bargains I got. Here's a mug that says "I Heart Root Canals!" Here's Glee: The Board Game! Here's a sock I lost back in 2014! I needed to buy all of this for my emotional wellbeing.

Wait, you're not mad, right? I know you weren't exactly your husband's biggest fan, but I get it if you don't want me spending his money on- have I shown you this one? It's a toaster that prints Hello Kitty on your breakfast! Yeah. Sorry. I'll ask if they have a return policy.

Indie: Actually, I think we can salvage this. Just put one of my blazers on over your hoodie and we can call it business casual. If anyone asks what business you're trying to be casual about, run.

Patty: Not the blazer! I don't want to look like Hillary Clinton.

Indie: Oh, honey. Hillary Clinton wouldn't be caught dead in those shoes. Now get out of here! Scram! Pokemon Go to the golf course! I love you.

Patty: What?

Indie: What? That was an exceedingly normal thing for the first lady to say to her wife. In fact, it would be highly suspicious if you didn't say it back.

Patty: Oh. Um. I love you too!

Indie: Oh, you love me? Embarrassing. I'm going to hold a press conference to tell everyone, and they're all going to point and laugh.

Patty: Ugh.

Ah, wait. Just one thing before I go. So I had this stack of letters… I usually keep them with me, but I can't find them. I'm really worried they were in that bag we threw out. If you have time to look through our stuff to see if they're there, that would be nice. They're really important to me.

Indie: Okay, love you, bye!

Patty: Nice try. If you find those letters, maybe I'll say it back!

[door closing]

(quieter, to herself)

Oh my god. Was that smooth? That felt smooth. Haha! I am a romance wizard!

Judith the Butler: Is Mrs. The President ready for her private jet to the golf course?

Patty: Ah! Judith! You scared me. Have you been here the whole time?

Judith (over creepy sfx): I have been here since before the world began and I shall remain here long after it ends, sweeping up the ashes in preparation for the next species of sentient life to find themselves in need of a butler. I see all and I know all, but what I see is none of my concern and what I know is none of yours. Does Mrs. The President have any further questions?

Patty: Many!

Judith the Butler: Good. Allow me to escort you to your ride.

[scene change signified by music change to Mysterious Jazz]

Indie: Indeterminance Night and the Mercurial Vision, book the first. Based on a true story. Dedicated to Dr. Medulla O'Blongata, who said my work was derivative. Look at me now, bitch! Please call me if you read this. I miss us.

Chapter the first.

Sitting alone on her bed, Space Baroness Indeterminance Night found herself conveniently reflecting on the events that had brought her up to this point. She had been but the Baron's lowly wife before a dashing assassin burst into their bedchambers and vanquished him with a laser sword.

"Oh my," Indeterminance said, for she was wearing only her bedtime spacesuit, which was lacy and diaphanous but in a sort of futuristic way.

That was when the assassin had removed their helmet to reveal a torrent of violet hair. The most beautiful woman Indeterminance had ever seen was standing in her bedroom, and she made a mental note to introduce her to a better brand of conditioner.

"My lady," said the assassin, dropping to one knee and taking Indeterminance's hand in her own. Indeterminance couldn't help but notice her sultry Space Australian accent. "My lady, I have come to save you from this wretched fate, for tales of your intellect and beauty have spread throughout the galaxy, and I knew I could not rest until I had you for my own."

"Aha!" Said Indeterminance. "Wait until the groupchat hears about this! They all said I needed to lower my standards because I would never find a hot butch space knight. Fools, the lot of them, and lacking in whimsy, too!"

"I must leave you now," said the assassin, her wide brown orbs clouded by sorrow, "for I have to fight off the guards. Would you do me the great favour of disposing of the body?."

"Anything!" gasped Indeterminance. "But what is your name, beautiful stranger? Will I ever see you again?"

"My name is Petroleum Hotdog. I have hidden seven letters around the space palace. If you collect them all, you shall find within the secret code by which to summon me. Until then, farewell, my love!"

"Like Slenderman!"

"This story is set on planet Mercury. I don't know who that is."

Then Petroleum vanished in a gust of violet petals, and Indeterminance was left holding only her right glove, still warm. She shook her head, dispelling any thoughts that might distract her from her mission, and slung the baron's corpse over her shoulder. Her biceps were large and hauntingly beautiful. She scuttled through the space palace, careful not to knock over any of the baron's space vases in which he kept clippings of rare space plants like dandelions and spinach. Under the sounds of fighting outside, she was able to make her way to the doors of the kitchen. They were wooden, a reminder of the planet humans had fled from long ago, and though Indeterminance had never seen a tree in person, the sight of them filled her with nostalgia. She pushed the doors gently, and-

Judith: Mrs. First Lady. What are you doing in the hotel kitchen, if I may ask?

Indie: Uhm.

(back into reading mode)

The space butler! There was no way she could tell them her secret plan to put the Baron's corpse in a blender and feed him to her pet asteroid, Cousin Rockmorton. They would never understand!

Judith: A blender, you say.

Indie: No! I just got lost looking for the hotel pool. Can you point me to it? And let the staff know that the first lady is in there and wishes to remain undisturbed.

Judith: Of course, ma'am.

Indie: Phew!

(back to reading mode)

Her plan having worked effortlessly, Indeterminance set forth for the space palace gardens, which were mostly full of rocks. Space fact: space has a lot of rocks in it. At the centre of the garden was a crater filled with clear blue water, a man made pool heated and dyed to mimic a geothermal spring. She dipped a finger in and tasted it. Chlorine and food colouring. This pool was the crown jewel of the garden, for though it was neither large nor deep, being able to afford decorative water on Mercury was a powerful status symbol. She positioned the baron's body at its side, ready to push him in. Surely he had just been staring at his reflection in the water when he lost his balance and fell.

Judith: I've brought refreshments for you and your companion, ma'am. I do hope I'm not intruding.

Indie: Gah!

[splash]

My… Companion?

Judith: Yes, your gentleman friend. I can't quite make out his face under the… Is his skin rotting?

Indie: None of my friends are gentlemen, Judith! You know very well that I only associate with harlots and scoundrels. This is just my inflatable liferaft, and it has a skin condition that it's extremely sensitive about.

Judith: My apologies. I shall sit here and perform lifeguard duty as per section 46 of the Good Butler's Guide to Butlering Goodly, Swimsuit Edition. Look, it even has a centrefold containing a diagram of the proper technique by which to build a construction code appropriate sandcastle. In full colour! How very salacious.

Indie: You know, Judith, I suddenly feel rather too cold to swim. I may retire indoors. Is there a fireplace in this hotel at all? Do you think it may need topping up? I have acquired a rare and beautiful piece of kindling that looks like a dead man and smells like a dead man, but has been certified by several coroners to be a log. No need to look too closely.

Judith: There is a fireplace in the dining room, ma'am, however-

Indie: Say no more! I'm off!

(back to reading mode)

So there she was, Space Baroness Indeterminance Night, stalking through the palace like the mighty tigers of yore. Rather than an antelope, her prey was that most elusive beast: the fireplace!

Writing fact: there are no tigers in space, but I couldn't think of another simile.

Space fact: Well, actually, space is famously very large, so there could totally be space tigers out there somewhere, chilling. You're just not cool enough to be invited to their parties.

Indie fact: Now I'm thinking about all the space tiger parties I haven't been invited to, and it's making me sad.

(out of reading mode)

Oh, there's the fireplace!

(into reading mode)

She approached it trepidatiously, for it could attack at any moment, but all it did was hum quietly and loop the same gif of the platonic ideal of a fire. Gently, as she was a little sorry despite herself, Indeterminance placed the body down and turned her face away. However, instead of the scent of burning flesh reaching her nose, there was only

(out of reading mode)

- is that seaweed?

Judith: 'tis merely my cologne, ma'am. It's supposed to be elegant and sensual, yet dangerous and masculine.

Indie: You smell like a dead jellyfish.

Judith: Elegant and sensual, yet dangerous and masculine. I came to inform you that this fireplace is electric, so you may have to find some other method by which to dispose of your government certified log.

Indie: God. Alright. Well, I suddenly feel the need to perform a governmental inspection of the hotel garbage shoot in accordance with current health and safety standards. You know, making sure it's in good enough working order to transport large, cadaverous, formerly presidential items, just as a random example.

Judith (over creepy sfx): You needn't worry. I already tested the strength of the rubbish shoot this morning by tossing down the head chef of this hotel after he tried to serve you eggs that were one degree too cold. He's still in one piece, but so are airpods after you accidentally run them through the washing machine.

Indie: I see. Are we paying you for these inspections, Judith?

Judith: Oh, no, I do it for the love of our glorious nation.

Indie: Alright, I'll hide this corpse the old fashioned way- with a shovel and a dream. You must have a shovel and a dream in you somewhere, Judith. Please?

Judith: I own no shovel, and I haven't had a dream in years. What's this about a corpse?

Indie: It was here that Indeterminance was confronted with a choice that would change her life forever. Could she trust the butler with the knowledge of her crime? Between her saintly dead mother, her neglectful father and her two horrible step sisters, Rutabaga and Trout, the only one left to raise her had been the butler. They had brushed her hair, tied her laces, soothed her when she cried… If she could not trust this one person, she could trust nobody at all. And yet, still she hesitated.

Judith: You hired me two weeks ago, ma'am. You're paying me ten dollars an hour.

Indie: Fine. Whatever. Just go ahead and ruin my narrative suspense, why don't you. Here's the deal: the president is dead. I replaced him with a purple-haired bisexual woman who wears sandals with socks and is overly passionate about moving horses around in some ancient boardgame. I feel pretty good about this decision. Now, are you going to help me hide his body, or am I going to have to hide yours as well?

Judith: Oh, the president? I've been trying to kill that fucker for years. Pass him over.

[thump]

Thank you. I shall wrap him up and dispose of him discreetly. Like a tampon!

Indie: It's that easy?

Judith: You're rich, you can kill whoever you want. Would you like a lemonade?

Indie: But Indeterminance had no time to partake in the sweet juice of the lemon, for one more mystery remained to be solved: where were the seven secret love letters of Petroleum Hotdog? She checked the kitchens, the bathrooms, the dining hall, the study, the jewel-counting room, the observatory, the… Aha!

[phone dialling sounds / ringing]

Patty: Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Patricia Bur-

Asbestos: Whatcha doin'?

Patty: Recording my voicemail. It's kinda like when the library's closed so you have to stick your books in the return slot outside, but the slot is a recording of me saying "please leave a message after the beep". Say hi to whoever's listening to this!

Asbestos: No. I don't trust them. What are your intentions with my earth hostage, stranger? State them immediately or I shall blow up your mobile communication device with my mind! Also, please call back and explain to me what a library is. I've been pretending to know so that Patty thinks I'm smart, but based on the metaphor she just laid out, my prior hypothesis that it was some kind of dairy product or perhaps a fancy dog breed has become somewhat challenged. Love and kisses, Asbestos Sputnik Le Guin.

Patty: What? You didn't tell me you had a cool middle name! Mine is Tomato. Anyway. Please leave a message after the beep. Bessy, do you want to…?

Asbestos: Beeeeeeeeeeeee-

(prolonged coughing fit)

-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! And don't call this number again, you hear me? Bad things will happen if you do! Real bad th-

[recording ends]

Indie: Hello my normal wife. I'm choosing to ignore whatever that was in favour of informing you that I have found your missing correspondence, and that it was in your other jacket. You know, the one that's exactly the same as your regular jacket except in a slightly greyer shade of green. Don't worry, I haven't read your letters! I am a woman of great honour and standing. Sometimes great sitting. I'm multifaceted that way.

[end voicemail]

[Indie hangs up, then picks up the phone again]

[phone ringing]

Operator: You have two new messages.

[beep]

Indie: Hello again, my single-apparition comet. Because I value transparency in our relationship (which we founded entirely on lies) I'm just calling to let you know that I opened one of the letters. I only did it in the interest of national security, and freedom, and because I really wanted to know what was inside. I haven't read it! But I will. I definitely will. Yours truly, love and light, her first ladyfulness Independence Liberty Day.

[beep]

Indie: Hi Patty! I didn't know you had a little brother. He appears to be in severe mental distress. How cute! Listen, there was a letter in there that you must have forgotten to send. So, because I felt a little guilty about reading it, I posted it for you! No need to pay me back for the stamp. XOXO, Indie.

P.S: Okay, if anyone is tapping this phone call, stop it now. I need to talk to my wife ALONE.

Okay, so you want to hear the real gossip? I heard that Independence Day is voiced by Jenny Wang, Patty is voiced by Monkozia, and Judith the Butler is voiced by N.V. May. Asbestos Le Guin is apparently voiced by Bulk, which is wild. I also heard that Spikes edited this episode! Really scandalous stuff. It could ruin their whole careers if it got out that they were such sick freaks! That's why I'm only telling you, and nobody else. K, love you, bye!

#hamuel burger and the american dream #hampod #hamuel burger

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virtuousweakling · 3 months ago

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Hantengu + Gyokko (humans): ✨shopping✨

(mostly fluff but mentions of condoms, butt stuff etc.) brief mentions of car accidents but no gore. ⚠️

The period is modern day and Hantengu and Gyokko are a homosexual couple of older gentlemen living together. Hantengu struggles with kleptomania and Gyokko is supporting them with his art commissions. Now I literally couldn't stop laughing while writing this and my family must have thought I was going insane but I hope y'all feel the same joy reading this as I had writing it.

Enjoy! 💚💜🖤❤️

Hantengu sighed as his stomach growled and quickly closed the fridge, calling out to Gyokko, "We need to go to the store. We're just about out of everything." "Oooh! I just LOVE a chance to go out and show off my glorious outfits! Let me get ready." Gyokko gleefully replied. "But Gyokko, we aren't going anywhere special, we're just going to S-Mart and coming straight home. I only have $250 in food stamps." "FIVE MINUTES, I SWEAR!" The sound of thick, leather footfalls approached Hantengu at the door. "Readyyy!" Hantengu, wearing a red knit cardigan, simple tan slacks and glasses perched low on his pointy nose looked Gyokko up and down. "...You're dressed for a bachelor party." "Hyo, hyo! You should be MORE than happy to be seen walking beside ME of all PEOPLE, Hantenguuu!" "Yeah, sure, whatever grab your purse and let's go. You practically took an hour and a half, it's already 3 o'clock."

Hantengu shakily put his keys in his run down Cadillac and started the vehicle with a popping sound shooting out of the exhaust pipe. He adjusted the mirror and squinted his eyes, moving his seat up extremely close to the wheel, practically hunching over it. "Oh, did we lock the door?" Gyokko nodded, "Yes, Hantengu, you locked it three times." "Well I just don't want anyone breaking in and stealing anything." Gyokko agreed. "Like my beautiful masterpieces, oh how horrendous that would be!" "Exactly that's why it's important we make sure we lock the door when we leave." Neither men considered how unhinged and delusional that conversation sounded considering they both committed illegal acts on a regular basis, one of them convincing himself of his non-existent innocence and the other defending his violent tendencies.

Hantengu was a terrible driver and Gyokko was...even worse, but Hantengu had better focusing skills than Gyokko who had massive road rage and liked to race strangers. See, Hantengu began doing most of the driving when Gyokko lost his license one summer after ramming a black SUV with no headlights into the back of a woman's sedan in the middle of the night. She had two kids and one baby in the backseat. Now Hantengu occasionally backed into the mailbox and a telephone pole outside of the driveway, but just casually said "Oops." And kept going. One time the air bag was released onto Gyokko who, surprisingly withstood it very well considering his muscular physique, but Hantengu shrieked in fear and pissed himself in the passengers seat. If it were him who'd been hit, all of his frail bones would have been broken. The piss stain is still there and the car reeks of stale, moldy interior and, well, you guessed it... Piss.

Hantengu drove to the grocery store, just nonchalantly cutting people off and failing to use turn signals. One lady began yelling out her window but stopped mid sentence as she noticed the fragile, elderly man with a receding hairline and large protrusion on his head hunched over the wheel looking over his glasses not even noticing her at all (as if he thought he was the only car on the road) and the rather pale, over-dressed man beside him with green lipstick giving her the double barrel finger with his tongue out. "...What the fuck...?" She mumbled to herself. Her husband who looked like he just got off the golf course at a country club bared his teeth in disgust and said "I told you the locals were weird around here, let's just get off on this next exit, honey."

Hantengu and Gyokko pulled into the store, driving in extremely slow circles around the entire parking lot until Hantengu thought he found a close enough parking space. They parked completely sideways over the line beside them and onto the line for the parking space in front of them, partially blocking off a handicapped space. Hantengu moved his seat back and got out, walking around the car to release Gyokko whose door handle was missing from the inside. Gyokko stuck his hand out expecting Hantengu to take it and guide him out of the car like royalty but Hantengu just turned around and stood with his hands on his hips, stretching his back and looking around at the pedestrians walking with their buggies in disgust.

"Did I park okay?" Hantengu asked Gyokko, squinting at the car. "Yeah, looks pretty straight to me. Straighter than last time. Let's get a cart, I'm excited."

The second they entered the store, Hantengu grabbed a flyer and licked his thumb, skimming the pages for coupons. Gyokko began running around grabbing random things and putting them in the cart. "Ah, Gyokko, no. Put that back. We don't have that kind of money and I don't even think my EBT card will cover that." "Why are you so boring, OLD MAN?" As they walked further through the produce section, Gyokko asked to push the cart. "Can I push it... Daddy?" Hantengu choked on his own saliva for a second and nodded, furrowing his brow while walking away and look at something else. Everything Gyokko wanted, even something simple like a bag of grapes, instigated the same question from Hantengu again and again like a broken record: "Is that even on sale?" After a while, Gyokko couldn't help but notice Hantengu was walking with his hands behind his back, leaning slightly forward and judging literally everything in the store. The people, the food, the environment, even the way the buggies wheels screeched. Hantengu's expression was one of brutal, silent judgement and he had no damn reason to do that while looking the way he did but he did it anyway. Hantengu approached a giant cardboard display of watermelons and leaned forward, knocking on all of them. It almost looked like he was listening to them. He walked away shaking his head. He touched everything, yet, put nothing in the cart. "You're so cute." Gyokko said to his partner, biting his lip. Hantengu looked so damn embarrassed.

Hantengu and Gyokko approached a home goods aisle and saw a big, orange tag below a shelf of deluxe, extra-large automatic rice cookers that said "SALE: 39.99 orig. price: 69.99" Gyokko marveled at the boxes as the geriatric Hantengu leaned in, squinting at the price tag. "39.99? Half off? Hm." He pensively touched his chin. "...hm." Gyokko looked at Hantengu, who was just standing there silently, speculating about the price tag. "Hmm." Gyokko just awkwardly glanced at the side, anticipating Hantengu to say something other than "hm." It seemed as if the most excruciating half hour passed by before Hantengu actually said something until finally, Hantengu went "Ah," breaking the silence.

"Yes?" Gyokko asked.

"39.99 is still too expensive. I can get ten bags of rice for that money and cook it for free."

Gyokko's entire mind deflated like Squidward's head in that one episode and just dragged himself along with Hantengu at this point, trying desperately to enjoy this time out with his partner. They approached a medicine aisle and Gyokko noticed migraine antiinflammatories on sale. "You need this," he said to Hantengu who was browsing the adult diapers. "Hm? What is it." Hantengu took the small box out of Gyokko's hand and adjusted his glasses, tilting his head back as if struggling to read the package. "What is this?" "It's antiinflammatories. For your head." "But I don't nee-... Fuck you." Hantengu tossed the box at Gyokko who caught it on his chest, jovially laughing at Hantengu (these two boogers sounded like the old men on the muppets show). Gyokko squeaked as he pointed out contraceptives to Hantengu, "TROJAN XXXL? WHOSE DICK IS THIS BIG?" Hantengu's heart sank as he looked around, hushing the always inappropriate Gyokko. Gyokko continued, "Oh, here we go, 'intense pleasure warming jelly.' Comes with ridged condoms for 'extra satisfaction.'" Hantengu facepalmed so hard his hand almost exited out the back of his skull. "Gyokko, please. Why are you doing this." "We need them! EXCUSE ME, DO YOU WORK HERE?" "NO, GYO-" "Yes sir how can I help you?" "CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME THIS FROM BEHIND THE GLASS?" "Gyokko please, my heart, I can't..." "TOO LATE."

Gyokko grinned like a maniac as he watched the clerk unlock the window. Gyokko put the box in the cart and showed Hantengu a $20 bill from his pocket. "If I'm buying it, it's mine." "Then get your own basket, I'm not pushing this around, everyone can see what it is." "What's the matter Hantengu, you don't want everyone to know what's going to happen to that tight hole of yours tonight?" Hantengu croaked and began to sweat. Finally the men checked out and Hantengu forced Gyokko to go to a different scanner. As Hantengu scanned away at the self checkout, the clerk standing by noticed his behavior was looking a bit off since he was looking over his shoulder a lot and seemed nervous. She approached Hantengu and asked if everything was ok to which Hantengu reassured her it was fine. Gyokko looked over from his own self checkout and noticed sweat forming on Hantengu's forehead. "Yoo-hoo! I need help over here!" He decided to call for the woman to distract her from Hantengu to take the pressure off of him. Hantengu saw hoodies with the stores name on them on a rack nearby and grabbed one to make it look like he was buying it. Loudly, he exclaimed, "ah, you know what, I decided I'm not gonna get this." And draped it over the camera screen in front of him. By the time the lady was done being distracted by Gyokko's eccentricity, Hantengu took his receipt and the men carried on. There was a receipt checker standing at the exit doors and a family of five who had a massive cart full came up on Hantengu and Gyokko's side. They timed their exit exactly beside the family so the checker wouldn't know which receipt to look at. Gyokko and Hantengu walked free.

Once home, they unloaded their frugal purchases and Gyokko noticed some odds and ends at the bottom of the bag. "Seriously?" He asked Hantengu. "I don't know how any of that got there." "Hantengu..." "I'm serious, I don't know how any of that got in there it must have accidentally fallen in. Maybe I grabbed someone else's bag?" The bag was full of chapstick, candy bars, a readers digest, an addiction counseling pamphlet and a package of watch batteries. "Hantengu what are you planning on doing with all of this?" Hantengu slammed the refrigerator shut and put his head in his hands. "I-I DON'T KNOW, STOP ASKING ME! I ALREADY TOLD YOU!" Gyokko noticed Hantengu was beginning to sniffle. "Hantengu... Can I touch you?" Hantengu just whimpered softly, mumbling reassuring words to himself as Gyokko carefully embraced him in a hug. "It's ok. Papa's got you. It's alright." Gyokko normally would never act like this and it certainly always seemed as if he had no idea how to, but he cared for Hantengu in such a way that he automatically shut down the usual shit show if it meant consoling his typically inconsolable partner. "I'll help you to the couch, you just sit down while I finish putting the freezer food away." Hantengu nodded like a nervous little boy and sniffed his fragile little way to the sofa with Gyokko. Once Gyokko finished putting everything up he called to Hantengu, "when you feel better do you want me to make you something to eat?" Hantengu wiped his nose and nodded. "Ok I'll make you something nice and tasty."

That's all for now, folks, another story will come soon! Thank you sm for reading!!

#demon slayer #hantengu #gyokko #gyotengu #kimetsu no yaiba #hantengu clones #kny #gyokko x hantengu #hantengu x gyokko #kny fanfic #demon slayer fanfic #hantengu human #gyokko human #kny human au #human au

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cdyssey · 9 months ago

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Elsbeth (1.07) Reactions:

Spoilers under the cut!

first episode I’ve gotten to watch live. :’) I cannot believe how fast I’ve fallen for this show.

KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY!! He’s looking so good.

I love that because elsbeth isn’t a whodunnit, the show can get away with casting insane guest stars for the culprits since it’s the “showcase role.”

It’s kind of delicious that Mr. and Mrs. Hayes are mutually down to murder akaksowkskwksosn—and in fact, it’s implied that this is far from the first time they’ve had to get rid of someone the hard way.

Relatedly, kudos to the creators and writers. all of the culprits have felt unique in their motivations, personalities, and skill sets so far.

“A long line of honorable men have worn this watch, and you desecrated it with that abominable dance.” FJSDJJS, god, Keegan is so funny.

THAT BLUE BLAZER AND PINK SHIRT!! The bucket hat!!!!

I appreciate that they’ve been consistent with having some of the detectives start to recur! Makes the show’s world start to feel lived in.

Both Donnelly and Kaya, shocked to hell: “You’re married?!”

Lol, Mr. Hayes is a sloppy murderer. He doesn’t try to look bothered at ALL.

Elsbeth housewarming party! Yay!!!

“People doing stupid stuff at a wedding—like having them! Sorry, bad divorce.” Gdkwkqkqkkw

I like how Detective Donnelly has clearly softened up a bit—she even seems a little fond of Elsbeth.

LOL @ THE BRUTAL CUT TO KEEGAN CONFESSING ABOUT THE AFFAIR ANSNSNANSNSNS. The show knew they had a comedian on their hands, and they were going to treat him well.

Ooooh, Keegan’s character knowing Claudia. Interesting.

Elsbeth’s dancing outfit!! The leg warmers!! The blue barrette!!!

Kaya and Elsbeth going out for a lady’s night!!

“A clown emoji was used.” [Cue Kaya laughing fondly.] 😭

ELSBETH NERVOUSLY TRYING TO SHUFFLE MONEY TOWARDS CAPRI HELP ME.

Ugh, love that coat on Kaya

I’m going to ignore the elsbeth would love to be Kaya’s mother-in-law quote for reasons.

Anyway, for totally unrelated reasons, do Kaya and elsbeth have a ship name yet. I’ve been calling them kayabeth in my head

Yay!! Love that Teddy’s gay.

Apparently, he doesn’t fall for kind or honest people

FJSDJDJSJ, elsbeth sticking the beer bottle near the golf cart pedal. She’s so fucking wild.

“Oh, you’re no dummy. I could tell that right away.” I love the moments when Elsbeth’s ruthlessness comes through.

The deputy(?) Dave might be the one covering up the Flair-All thing.

That rainbow sweater and the jacket Elsbeth originally had over it was a gay ass fit <3

Sorry, this case is bringing up some stuff.” Lmao, I like Donnelly. Her dryness is fun.

Omgg, Hayes and Elsbeth DANCING!! AKQKWKQOQOKSJS, Carrie Preston is a master of physical comedy

This was just an excuse to get Keegan Michael Key to dance and I love it

THAT CARTWHEEL WKWKDKWNSN

I love that they’re genuinely having fun together. One of the biggest draws of the show to me is the unique relationships that Elsbeth has with the culprits of the episodes. She’s out to get them, sure, but she takes great pains to understand them too.

THE WATCH!!!!! That was such a fun set-up.

Kaya is so fucking pretty.

The fact that she got Elsbeth a hook for all her tote bags. 🥺 A pragmatic and thoughtful gift.

OMG, THE DJ SON FROM THE SECOND EP! Nice continuity.

this apartment is goddamn gorgeous. All those windows feel very elsbeth.

WAGNER CONFRONTING HER!!!!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

DON’T DO THIS AT HER HOUSEWARMING PARTY!

Lieutenant Noonan… omg, I called it… but now that Wagner is saying the same thing, I’m back to the drawing board on whether I think it’s true or not yet. They’re doing a nice job of continuing to pull this tension in different directions.

This was a very fun episode. Keegan made for a great culprit, and there was a lot of awesome work in fleshing out different characters/dynamics in the main cast.

I’m so charmed by this show. 😭

#elsbeth #elsbeth spoilers #maggie blogs #s: elsbeth

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rustycopper4use · 1 year ago

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It’s Always Been You Pt 5

(Kyoya x Male Reader)

Chapter 5

-The Twins Fight!-

The day starts, with the twins surrounded by their customers, along with Y/n tagging along to help.

“Let’s all play the ‘Which One Is Hikaru’ game!” The twins spoke in unison, now adorned with matching army green golf hats.

“So? Can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?” The twins spoke.

“Well, it’s hard to say!”

“You’re identical!” The girls spoke, staring at the twin gingers.

“Many ladies have tried to tell us apart so far none have succeeded.” The twins told the group, as a brunette walked by.

“That’s the dumbest game I’ve ever heard of.” Haruhi complained.

The twins put their hands on their hips and looked at the girl.

“What, have you got a problem with it?”

Haruhi turns to fully look at the two.

“Not really, I just don’t understand why the two of you are so popular.” She truthfully spoke. The twins began to slide next to her.

“Boo. That’s not very nice.”

“I’m disappointed.” Hikaru starts.

“Apparently, you don’t understand the merits of having a pair of twins as members of the host club.” Kaoru adds.

“Listen up! Having a couple of good looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns them high points. It also helps if the two struggle between their attraction and their friendship.”

Hikaru explains.

“-And in our case, because we’re twins our relationship is taboo, and therefore more intriguing.” Kaoru spoke after.

The twins walk up to Y/n with a mischievous grin.

Hikaru tilts Y/n head up slightly and leans in to whisper in his ear.

“And besides, who hasn’t fantasized about twins? Having two loves is better than one, don't you think?” Kaoru takes over, leaning towards Y/n’s other ear.

“It’s a young person’s romantic fantasy.”

Y/n, face is beet red, at the sudden sense of closeness.

“I- uh..” y/n stammered physically unable to form sentences.

The girls squeals at the display.

The twins grin at Haruhi in triumph.

Tamaki rushes over, holding a laptop in his arms.

“Hikaru! Kaoru!”

The twins turn towards the male.

“When I gave you control of the club’s website, I did so on one condition that you take it seriously!” Tamaki irked.

“We take our jobs very seriously, boss!” Hikaru defends.

Kaoru waves his hand in the air.

“In fact, last night we worked on it till dawn.”

“Is this what you worked so hard to create!” Tamaki yelled slamming the laptop on the table, showing a photo of Haruhi with her hands on her hips turning towards the camera shirtless.

Haruhi went pale and the photo, as everyone else gathered around to see it.

“Wow you look great.” Y/n mumbled, still mentally recovering from the twins.

Tamaki hands over the laptop to the girls before rushing to the twins.

“Tell me when you took these photos!” He demanded.

The twins look confused at the male. Tamaki is now imagining possible scenarios, painting the twins as the villains.

“You bribed her, didn’t you!” He exclaimed, pale as a sheet and tears welling in his eyes.

“You’re imagining things.” The twins replied plainly.

“It’s obvious that the photos have been altered.” Hikaru nonchalantly mentioned.

“Photoshop?” Tamaki stammered.

“We did a pretty good job huh?” The twins grinned.

Y/n looks at the photo again, finally gaining his recomposure.

“Wow you’ve got amazing photoshop skills.” Y/n turned to the twins.

“You idiots! That’s a waste of your skills! Have you no shame?!” Tamaki scolded, before suddenly switching moods. He drags the twins away before making them crouch, showing them a model book.

“But if you're gonna do it anyway, can you photoshop her into this idol book?”

“Don’t be ridiculous boss, why don’t you just-“ hikaru starts

“Ask her if she’d wear an outfit like that.”

Tamaki turns and looks at a still shocked Haruhi, and walks towards her.

“What do you think about this my dear?” He asked, holding up a dress.

Haruhi slowly looks at Tamaki, glaring at him. Causing Tamaki to leave in tears.

She turns towards the twins.

“Now cut that out! No more taking weird photos of me! What do you guys even take me for?” She scolded, as the twins slither to her.

“Hm. Isn’t it obvious? You're our toy.” Hikaru smirked.

Haruhi stammered in cold sweat.

“I am not your toy, okay?”

An ominous door opens, as an eerie voice creeps from it.

“You want a toy?” A male with a black hood spoke.

“Toys, toys, if you like toys the you should come and visit my black magic club.” He was now peeking through the door holding a candelabra.

“If you visit right now, I’ll even throw in a free cursed doll. You can have Beelzenef as a free gift.”

“Wait a second, has that door always been there?” The twins questioned.

Kyoya walks by holding a folder, and writing in it.

“Nekozawa-senpai likes to hide, he doesn’t really care for brightly lit places.” He spoke now standing next to Y/n.

Tamaki stalks behind Haruhi.

“Don’t get involved with that guy Haruhi..” Tamaki muttered, staring at the hooded man.

Haruhi jumps at Tamaki’s touch.

“If you do, you’ll end up being cursed!” He warned.

“Do you really think that?” Y/n spoke unbelievingly.

“Yes! It happened during exams at the end of the last school year! It’s terrifying just to even think about it!” He spoke dramatically.

“On that fateful day I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekozawa’s doll, after words I wrote the entire test in this strange lettering. And I realized I knew none of my classmates!” He spoke shuttering at the memory.

“Did that really happen to you?” Haruhi exclaimed.

Kyoya spoke without looking up from his book.

“That only happened because you were so scared you forgot where your class was, and Y/n told you wrong directions.”

“Can’t blame me, he asked the wrong person.”

Y/n shrugged.

“No, it was a curse! I know because days later I woke up and my legs were heavy as led! Just how do you explain that?” Tamaki states.

“Didn’t you run a marathon the day before?” Y/n questioned looking towards Kyoya, him nodding in agreement.

Nekozawa appears seemingly out of thin air.

“You shouldn’t underestimate the dark powers of the curse doll! All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on the back, that person is certain to face misfortune!” He spoke.

“Supposedly, he hates bright lights.” Kaoru spoke, turning towards his brother.

“I wonder what he’ll think of this.” Kaoru flips on a bright flashlight into the man’s face.

Nekozawa screams and runs away in bloody murder back to his room.

Tamaki yells at the twins' prank, but the twins couldn’t truly care less. When Tamaki realized it was doing nothing, he went and crouched in a corner.

“My dignity as the club's leader is being ignored.” He whimpers.

Y/n chuckles at Tamaki’s shame.

“Hey Haruhi! We’ve got a favor to ask you.” The twins turn to Haruhi

“What is it?”

“The next time we get a day off,“ Hikaru said.

“Can we come over to your place to hang out?”

This catches Tamaki’s attention, and he starts listening in.

“Why would you wanna do that?” Haruhi asked.

“We’re curious! We want to see where you live.” The twins cooed.

“No way.” Haruhi quickly responds, with a blank face.

“Aw, pretty please.” They spoke with puppy eyes.

“No way, you guys are just gonna make fun of me.” She shakes her head.

“No matter how much we beg you?” The twins pout.

“No way.”

Tamaki joins in.

“I too have been thinking that it’s time I pay my respects to our beloved Haruhi’s family!” He spoke with an air of confidence.

“No way in hell senpai.”

Tamaki retreats back to his corner, hurt by Haruhi’s bluntness.

“We can settle this with a game!” The twins put on their green golf caps.

Y/n stands next to the twins to announce the conditions, having done this thousands of times.

“Today's wager is on the ‘Which One Is Hikaru’ game! The bets are as follows: If the twins win they get the right to go to Haruhi’s house. However, if Haruhi guesses right, the twins have to stop asking!” He gestured lazily.

The twins grinned.

“Okay! Which one of us is Hikaru?” The twins asked.

“This one’s Kaoru, this one is Hikaru.” She spoke without hesitation.

“Uh oh! You got it wrong!” The twins grinned.

She eyes the twins.

“No, I know I’m right, you two may look alike, but you’re very different.” She calmly stated, as the twins' eyes widened. Looking at each other.

As the girls praise Haruhi.

Y/n furrowed his eyebrows in thought before looking back at Haruhi.

“How could you tell them apart?”

Haruhi thinks for a moment as everyone waits in baited breath.

“Hm.. well how do I put it… it’s kinda difficult to explain… but Hikaru's speech and actions make him come across more.. more mischievous than Kaoru.” She spoke as Kaoru burst into laughter.

“Sorry Hikaru, I don’t mean to laugh.” He barely got through the sentence before laughing again.

Hikaru glares at Kaoru.

“Well I don’t see what’s funny. I’m honest. I speak my mind and I don’t hold back. It’s sneaky people like Kaoru who are the real troublemakers.” He spoke angrily to the twin.

Kaoru stops laughing, and side eyes his brother.

“Don’t turn this on me Hikaru, after all I’m the one who’s always got to go along with all your selfish games.” He narrowed his eyes on Hikaru.

“I may suggest them, but you’re the one who really gets into them Kaoru, if you hated them so much then why don’t you just stop.”

Hikaru argued back.

“Because I’d hate to see you make a total ass of yourself in front of everyone. It was your idea to call Haruhi our toy, but I noticed you were quick to make a pass at her. Admit it Hikaru, you’re in love with Haruhi, aren’t you?” Kaoru spoke with venom.

Hikaru gasps, grows red, while looking at Haruhi.

“What!” Tamaki shirked.

“You’ve got it all wrong kaoru! Man you are such a freaking idiot!” He exasperated.

“I mean why would I fall for her? She looks like a tanuki!” Hikaru denies.

Tamaki is now furious.

“How dare you call her a raccoon dog! You're gonna pay for that!”

A motor turns out of the ground revealing a familiar dirty blonde.

“Awesome, this is just perfect!” She spoked, with an excited grin.

“Our beloved Haruhi is in the middle of a beautiful yet poignant four sided romantic relationship! And to make it even more exciting, two of Haruhi’s admirers are twins, torn apart by love! Just the thought of it could make me eat three full bowls of rice!” She fangirled.

“Oh butt out otaku.” The twins gritted.

“You guys are meanies, you shouldn’t say something like that to your manager!” She begins crying.

“Wait Renge, I thought you had feelings for Haruhi.” Y/n questioned. Quickly stopping Renge’s tears.

“Oh I do, but I have no problem with Haruhi having a homosexual relationship on the side.

“I’m confused, I thought you had left for France?” Haruhi spoke looking at the girl.

“Oh I was gonna start a host club in France but I don’t think France is ready for it yet.”

Hikaru’s yelling brings everyone’s attention back to the two.

“Cut it out already! You’re the one who is always crawling onto my bed! Talk about annoying.” Hikaru complained.

“I only do that because you look lonely! I wouldn’t choose to sleep in your bed, idiot!” Kaoru yelled, followed by sounds of fangirls squealing.

“Who are you calling an idiot? You’re the one who sucks at math!”

“Oh yeah? Well you’re failing your foreign language class you big dummy!”

“The way you grind your teeth is deafening!”

“Sex pixie!”

“Sicko!”

“Your mama wears too much makeup!” The twins yelled at the same time.

“That’s it we’re over!”

The day ends and everyone heads home.

as Y/n heads to his doorstep, he unlocks the door, and shuts it behind him. He takes his shoes off, and hangs his black bag on the hook.

He looks around his apartment, on other signs of life besides him, but what else would he expect, he lives alone. He goes up the stairs into his bedroom, flicking on the lights. He takes off the purple blazer, and settles for a baggy hoodie with gray sweats, when he takes his shirt off, he starts repeating a mantra.

‘Don’t look down’

Just the mere sight of his body made him feel sick. Regardless of the top surgery, his own body felt suffocating beyond words could describe.

He hastily put on the rest of his outfit, looking around at the state of the room, dirty dishes piled around his half made bed, unfinished cups and cans littered about, and clothes around the room.

He always hated when his room got this, always felt a sense of guilt. But despite how much his room overwhelmed him, he refused to hire help. He felt like he should be able to do this on his own, he was just simply being lazy, which was a sentiment given by his mom.

He sighed and left the room, before it could swallow him whole.

He closed the door, the pristine house outside of his room was a starched contrast to it. So clean and void of life. He heads back downstairs and just sorta stared into space, trying to be anywhere but here—

A buzz echoes through the house, he stares at his phone, for what felt like hours. Just mustering anyform of motivation. The phone buzzed once more before Y/n finally opened his phone, the screen lighting up his tired face, it read 2 missed messages from Kaoru, and 1 call from Hikaru.

Y/n furrowed his brows before texting back.

Y/n: What

Hikaru: we need to for ask a favor

Y/n: ?

Kaoru: we need help dying our hair

Y/n: why can’t you just hire a professional

Hikaru: because we want our dear Y/n do it

Y/n: also why are you dying your hair????

Kaoru: because we really want to really convince everyone we’re fighting

Y/n: you were faking it??

Y/n: wait never mind what else would I expect from you two

Y/n: when do you want me there?

Hikaru: now if that works and

we’ll pay for food

Y/n: I’ll be there soon

—————

Y/n sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He went over to the front door and grabbed the closest pair of shoes, and went off to the twins house.

As he walked, he arrived at the twins mansion in all its glory.

He heads in, and rings the bell by the doors.

The doors swiftly opened, and were greeted by two twin maids, with long black hair.

“Uh.. I’m here for Hikaru, and Kaoru.” Y/n nervously spoke.

“They’re upstairs to the far left.

“Okay thank you.” Y/n made his way up the shining stairs.

He finally arrives at the twins' room and opens the door.

The twins are side by side reading two small boxes one pink and one blue.

“Are you really going to dye your hair that colour?” Y/n questioned looking at the two.

The twins nods their heads and shoved the dye supplies on y/n

“Alright then, who’s gonna go first?”

Hikaru stands up.

“Alright then..” Y/n reads the box closely.

“I need you to take your shirt off and bring a towel.”

Hikaru does as he’s told, and Y/n begins setting up in their bathroom. He takes the plastic gloves from the box and puts them on.

Hikaru sits on the floor while Y/n and Kaoru sit on the edge of the bathtub behind him. Y/n begins to bring the brush towards Hikaru's hair. The man stiffened.

“That’s cold!”

“Suck it up.”

Y/n continues dying his hair with Kaoru watching.

“Okay.. I think that should do it.. it says you need to leave it in for half an hour before washing..”

Y/n mutters reading the box.

“Kaoru you're up.”

Hikaru gets up and stretches.

Y/n begins on his hair. After a couple of minutes, kaoru was done as well.

As Y/n sits and waits for the twins to finish showering.

He checks the time on his phone.

‘6:30’

He’s now been here for two hours, helping with their twins' crazy schemes.

His head flew up when he heard the bathroom door open.

“Looking good.” Y/n teased the two.

“If you guys are done I should probably go now.”

“Aww boo please stay.” The twins cooed.

“It’ll be boring without you.”

Y/n sighs.

“What do you want to do?”

The twins grinned and quickly turned on a movie.

The movie marathon goes late into the night. Around the fifth movie the twins passed out. Leaving Y/n to start grabbing his stuff.

And heads back home.

The morning comes, and Y/n puts on his uniform and heads to the school.

Words go around about the separation of the twins and their new look.

By that time everyone is heading to the cafeteria.

Y/n comes in and watches as the twins bicker. Leaving the rest of the club worried.

“Amazing, perfect unison even when fighting.” Haruhi stared at the twins.

“I was wondering what all the fuss was about. I can’t believe the two of you are still fighting, you're a disgrace to the host club.” Tamaki scolded.

Honey comes between the twins, holding a piece of cake.

“Hika-chan and kao-chan, I want you to make up and go halfies on this cake. But I want some too.. guess we’ll go thirdies but you can’t spilt the strawberry..”

The twins get more annoyed, and Mori pulls him away for honeys safety.

Y/n looks over to see Hikaru and Tamaki fighting over Haruhi’s homemade lunch.

“Kyoya, who do you think will win Haruhi’s love?” Y/n joked, turning towards him.

“They’re both idiots.” He bluntly spoke.

Y/n snickers, covering his mouth with his hand.

Kyoya looks at Y/n’s hands, which have a purple tint to them.

“What’s that on your-“ Kyoya gets interrupted by the twins now throwing things at each other.

“Dye.” Y/n Quickly responds before ducking.

Food and items go everywhere, Mori honey and Tamaki even get tossed.

“I think I’m just gonna get lunch in class.” Haruhi grumbled leaving the fight.

After school, the club gathers in the host room, all sitting around the table.

Y/n rests his head on the table, tired from the past few days.

Next to him kyoya types into a calculator.

“Looking at the numbers, if this situation isn’t resolved, I’m afraid we’re going to have to stop offering our brotherly love package.” He looks at Haruhi and smiles.

“Oh, Haruhi, I just want you to know there’s no reason for you to feel responsible. Even though it was your tactile comment that started this whole twin feud in the first place.”

“It’s weird for Hika-chan and kao-chan to be fighting like this…” honey said while playing with usa-chan.

“They’ve never fought before?” Haruhi turned to honey.

“Nope.” Y/n grumbled, barely awake.

The third day rolls around, and twins are still at war with each other.

“Ugh don’t you guys think that maybe it’s time you give up all this fighting? It’s driving me insane.” Tamaki complained.

“What'd you say? It’s driving you insane! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Every time I look into the mirror I see his face! I’m sick and tired of being mistaken for you!” Hikaru yells.

“You took the words right outta my mouth!” Kaoru pulls out one of the cursed dolls.

Tamaki screams in fear.

“I’m gonna complete this curse! I’m gonna write your name on this.” Kaoru spoke holding a marker.

Haruhi looks angered and rushes over to the twins and hits them over the head.

“What do you guys think you’re doing! You don’t bring something like this to a petty fight! Both of you are at fault here, what’s sad is you brought everyone else into your mess! If you guys don’t make up right now I’ll never let you come over to my house! Do I make myself clear!” Haruhi scolded, causing the twins to widen their eyes.

“So what you're saying is if we make up we can come over to your place.” The twins smirked,

And wraps their arms around each other, behind Haruhi

Haruhi turned over the doll and the writing on it was blank. Haruhi screams.

The next day came and the twins still kept the new colours, giving the guests an easy way to tell who form who.

“It's so much easier to tell you apart now!” One of the girls cheered. As Haruhi walks by.

“Ha no it’s not.” She turns her head.

“The pink one is Kaoru and Hikarus the blue one. Swapped colors for the day, huh?” She smiled and walked off.

The twins look at Haruhi shocked, someone has finally entered their world.

“Did you really have to help the twins?” Kyoya asked.

“I thought it might be interesting.” Y/n spoke, staring down at his purple hands.

“And besides.. I had way too much time on my hands.” He joked waving his hands around.

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