#kind of stopping myself here bc I *could* kind of just

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[lesbianlenas]

ok here is the thing…..i was thinking to myself abt why it is that i am like i truly cannot connect w these ppl on a fundamental level that i go to law school w like i talk to ppl and stuff but here it is this is the problem these ppl are SO NORMAL. all they talk abt is NORMAL THINGS. like they r just like idk!!! i was thinking to myself like you know on a scale of telling a person all of my intrusive thoughts (i have friends i do this w) to do not even know my last name level these ppl do not even hit i can text them and make them vote for my favorite bb houseguest for afp……they’d be like why tf are u asking me this. like THAT level normal. let alone could i EVER reveal my intense love affair w supercorp the pairing of supergirl and lena luthor from the cw series supergirl (2015-2022) like?? they do not get me they could never get me……why do no ethical freaks go to law school. do u know how hard it is to hide being a FREAK surrounded by NORMIES. it’s harder than hiding my homosexuality….and NO they are NOT on the level where i could reveal my lesbian status either just bc i like ppl to deduce that for themselves if they are enlightened enough. and are they? perhaps but idc. the ONLY friend of mine that reached the i will say in passing smth that reveals i am definitely gay level w me transferred so i am like oh it’s hopeless now i truly only have the normies…….like can i be real w u all i am being so serious rn. NO freaks NO lesbians NO lesbians who can match MY freak specifically every day i wake up and go to normie school and i have to pretend to be ok w it. well i am NOT!!! but thats ok……we move.

[perilegs]

ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion

[ichigosoju]

🍪🥛

[thecherrygod]

/

[samuraisharkie]

due to Life Shit I kind of stopped drawing much about a year or two after I graduated high school bc I just kind of didn’t have the time or mental/emotional/physical capacity to fit it in, despite art being something I really want to be a part of my career. It kind of makes me sick to realize how much muscle memory I lost just from that time (I had only about a year and a half total of absolutely no art but that was enough. doesn’t help that during that time I seriously injured my hands) considering I’ve been drawing my entire life. I really wish things had not gone that way and that I could have kept going, but expectations were on me to do something else and any time I sat down to draw was treated as wasting time. There’s also something weird about recovering from severe trauma that kind of adjusts how you engage with a hobby you used as a coping mechanism, which Art very much was. I almost never drew vent art, but I used it to focus on something and make myself happy and proud of work I actually could do, and once I was out of the environments that funneled me into drawing (being forced to go to church, school, anything involving sitting down for a long period of time) I found less time to actually have an excuse. Someone bought me a single college course of art classes right out of high school, and I think that was where I COULD have had the opportunity to really get started if I had actually had the money to continue and the college hadn’t been so far away. After that course ended I didn’t have that excuse anymore. I used to draw in DeviantArt and Discord art groups, but those began to fall apart and soon I didn’t have that option either. After that I doodled but didn’t really create Full Pieces unless some friend asked it of me, and it was never a commission bc I’d never trained myself to get that sort of shit done without taking too long, so I’d always do it for free. So even that wasn’t a big motivator eventually. Now that I’m struggling for work after becoming more physically disabled after COVID, all that time I could have spent honing my art skills so I could do SOMETHING with my art really is weighting down on me. I have the option to do freelance work, illustrations, pet commissions, even things like cards and cookies. I’ve seen these avenues open up for me gradually, but I’ve lost the skills I built up that I need to actually make something I’m proud of. I’ve taken to tracing old art to try and remember my thought process and my “style”… but my memory was bad BEFORE the covid, and it’s worse now, and my brain fog makes it hard to focus even if I could get back on the train of thought. I don’t remember the construction that would be in my mind’s eye. I barely can keep a clear vision in my mind’s eye anymore, worryingly. I never had a crystal clear imagination, it was always sort of abstract, but I could see the lines, I could construct a scene. Now I have to focus hard to get any sort of detail clear in my head. It’s like if you tried to look directly into someone’s face in a dream, or put in a prompt in neural blender. So I have to adjust to performing the entire thought process physically, slowly and tediously trying to figure out what I’m imagining before I can really get started. Those old art tutorials for constructing shapes and bodies and such just aren’t coming naturally anymore so I have to dredge deep into my mind to remember which advice helped “click” the best and knowing it might not do it this second time around. It’s like if you forgot how to ride a bike. It was something natural to you, you could even get started haphazardly and distracted and still be able to tell where you were going and not fall over or trip on yourself, but now it’s like you have to focus on each step and it constantly feels like it’s taking everything you have to not crash. I’m glad I can start drawing again, but it hurts that something so huge in my life has been turned into this. I’ve ranted about it before it’s just easier to notice when you’re not sketching out people’s pets or doing super stylized doodles.

[hella1975]

I AM NOT BRAVE I COULD SO EASILY BE UNABASHEDLY MYSELF IN EVERY WEIRD CRINGEY WAY AND SURROUND MYSELF WITH SIMILAR PEOPLE BUT I JUST DONT IM SO SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY LIKE IVE NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BAD TO COME OF BEING MYSELF SO WHY AM I SO TERRIFIED OF IT IM SO SICK OF WAITING FOR LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE TO COME MY WAY BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FAIR WE ARE ALL SO DISGUSTED BY OURSELVES AND I WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT CAN BE THEMSELF SO SHAMELESSLY THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN TOO BUT I JUST CANT BECAUSE IM NOT BRAVE AND I FEAR I NEVER WILL BE anyway im going grocery shopping does anyone want anything

[pepprs]

not to be a pain-crazed wild animal. i KNOW i do this every time. but p*riods are so fucking crazy. like my cr*mps are so bad my body is trying to strangle itself but im awake and i need to be at work in 2 hrs and get thru an entire 9 hr workday as if im not in excruciating pain and im gonna bring my heating pad and my p*in r*lief cr*am if you catch my drift (💀) and i’ll need to use them DURING a busy day in which i will not see any other ppl who get periods in person and using them is gonna be a whole awkward thing. like omg. this is not fucking normal lol

[alphalesbian]

.

[lushslug]

hey ive been trying to learn japanese but was wondering how you learned it? And with which app maybe...? (i use alot of apps including duolingo but may delete that app soon because of the annoying ads everytime i finish a single lesson.🙄😒)

I'm sorry I might not be a ton of help because most of my japanese learning has been in classrooms! I studied in high school (m...many years ago), and then lived in japan for a few years and went to school while I was there. But I'll do my best!

I do have a couple of apps/sites I like - wanikani is kickass for learning kanji if you haven't picked that one already. imiwa? and jisho.org are the dictionaries I like to use (both are good for finding unfamiliar kanji, too, if you learn how to search by radical). If you want pure listening practice for real life japanese, Japan Radio is okay but it can be a little hit-or-miss. Watching japanese shows with jp subs is also really good, you can use a proxy and watch things like crayon shinchan on jp netflix - or other shows aimed at younger audiences that use simpler language. It's a good way to pick up a lot of vocab/kanji from context (also shinchan just kicks ass).

I can point you towards some textbooks too, but a lot of it really depends on your goals - i.e. if you're just learning to watch anime without subs, I wouldn't suggest doing hard JLPT test prep the way I did because anime japanese ≠ test japanese (≠ real life/conversational japanese). If you want to get conversational the only real way to do that is to talk to someone, unfortunately, and that can be difficult, but there are still resources ... they're just not usually free ;;

Sorry this isn't exactly straightforward advice but feel free to tell me what your goals are more specifically and maybe I can help direct you places!

[toastsnaffler]

I love to talk but I rly do feel like we have to be talking for a minimum of 8 hours straight before I feel like I can even begin to rly broach things on my mind or that have been bothering me a lot that I actually want to talk abt without being vague or deflecting or omitting or lying and if the conversation takes a break at any point it resets back to 0 and its still nice regardless but.

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;

[floral-hex]

real sad boy hours

[generalslime]

Instead of buying the edgeworth shirt I was so responsible and bought a laundry basket and dish rack and new phone case please clap

[sleepymaddy]

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[ofheroesandcrooks]

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