#I know you don’t have a certain age requirement for art but I also know you never stop improving

[samuraisharkie]

due to Life Shit I kind of stopped drawing much about a year or two after I graduated high school bc I just kind of didn’t have the time or mental/emotional/physical capacity to fit it in, despite art being something I really want to be a part of my career. It kind of makes me sick to realize how much muscle memory I lost just from that time (I had only about a year and a half total of absolutely no art but that was enough. doesn’t help that during that time I seriously injured my hands) considering I’ve been drawing my entire life. I really wish things had not gone that way and that I could have kept going, but expectations were on me to do something else and any time I sat down to draw was treated as wasting time. There’s also something weird about recovering from severe trauma that kind of adjusts how you engage with a hobby you used as a coping mechanism, which Art very much was. I almost never drew vent art, but I used it to focus on something and make myself happy and proud of work I actually could do, and once I was out of the environments that funneled me into drawing (being forced to go to church, school, anything involving sitting down for a long period of time) I found less time to actually have an excuse. Someone bought me a single college course of art classes right out of high school, and I think that was where I COULD have had the opportunity to really get started if I had actually had the money to continue and the college hadn’t been so far away. After that course ended I didn’t have that excuse anymore. I used to draw in DeviantArt and Discord art groups, but those began to fall apart and soon I didn’t have that option either. After that I doodled but didn’t really create Full Pieces unless some friend asked it of me, and it was never a commission bc I’d never trained myself to get that sort of shit done without taking too long, so I’d always do it for free. So even that wasn’t a big motivator eventually. Now that I’m struggling for work after becoming more physically disabled after COVID, all that time I could have spent honing my art skills so I could do SOMETHING with my art really is weighting down on me. I have the option to do freelance work, illustrations, pet commissions, even things like cards and cookies. I’ve seen these avenues open up for me gradually, but I’ve lost the skills I built up that I need to actually make something I’m proud of. I’ve taken to tracing old art to try and remember my thought process and my “style”… but my memory was bad BEFORE the covid, and it’s worse now, and my brain fog makes it hard to focus even if I could get back on the train of thought. I don’t remember the construction that would be in my mind’s eye. I barely can keep a clear vision in my mind’s eye anymore, worryingly. I never had a crystal clear imagination, it was always sort of abstract, but I could see the lines, I could construct a scene. Now I have to focus hard to get any sort of detail clear in my head. It’s like if you tried to look directly into someone’s face in a dream, or put in a prompt in neural blender. So I have to adjust to performing the entire thought process physically, slowly and tediously trying to figure out what I’m imagining before I can really get started. Those old art tutorials for constructing shapes and bodies and such just aren’t coming naturally anymore so I have to dredge deep into my mind to remember which advice helped “click” the best and knowing it might not do it this second time around. It’s like if you forgot how to ride a bike. It was something natural to you, you could even get started haphazardly and distracted and still be able to tell where you were going and not fall over or trip on yourself, but now it’s like you have to focus on each step and it constantly feels like it’s taking everything you have to not crash. I’m glad I can start drawing again, but it hurts that something so huge in my life has been turned into this. I’ve ranted about it before it’s just easier to notice when you’re not sketching out people’s pets or doing super stylized doodles.

[maniculum]

One of the things I’ve noticed working in a bookstore is that a surprising number of people are completely unfamiliar with the normal way books are organized.

(I mean, in the part of the store where we keep the used books, I frequently have to assure people that the books are organized at all, but that’s because we have way more books than we have shelf space and there’s no way to handle that without it looking a bit of a mess.)

On one hand, we get customers who are apparently a completely blank slate in this area. I frequently have to walk people through, like, “Okay, it’s organized by subject / genre, then by author. Oh, ‘by author’ means in alphabetical order by the name of the author. No, their last name.” (Most of the people I give this talk to are, I think, college kids — it’s a bit strange to me that you can reach that age without knowing how bookstores work, but then again, I can kind of see how these days it’s possible to mostly get your books online where you just use a search function.)

One customer responded to the above explanation with “oh, it’s the Dewey Decimal System!” and I had to be like… no. Similar in broad concept, yes, but the Dewey Decimal System is a very specific thing (involving… decimals) and it’s really only used in libraries, not bookstores, because it kind of requires you to label the spines of your books, which bookstores generally don’t like to do for obvious reasons.

On the other hand, we also get customers with pre-existing incorrect assumptions, which are so often similar that I think they’re being imported from other media (though I’m not sure what).

People seem to expect the organization of Fiction to be much more granular — e.g., “where’s historical fiction?” “oh, that’s just in with general fiction.” I think some of that comes from movies (people ask where the “rom-com” section is, and that’s definitely a movie thing), but I’m not sure that’s always the reason.

(Admittedly the fiction organization is a bit more granular in the Used Books area than it is in the New Books, but that’s because there are certain genres that we get tons of from people selling us their old books, but we don’t buy enough of on purpose to justify giving them their own section in New Books.)

At the same time, people have the opposite assumption about Non-Fiction — i.e., they expect there to be one singular section labeled “Non-Fiction”, which is not the case. I’ve had multiple conversations that go like:

Customer: Where can I find non-fiction books?

Me: You’ll have to be more specific.

Customer: You know, non-fiction.

Me: [gesturing at the signs hanging from the ceiling that say things like “science”, “philosophy”, “art”, “history”, etc.] All of these are non-fiction in their own special way.

I try to be nice about it, but I don’t think I always succeed, just because I’m so often legitimately surprised and confused when someone just doesn’t know How Do You Books. I’m getting used to it now, but I’ve been working there for almost five years, so there’s been quite a long adjustment period in between.

Anyway. Just some observations.

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

hey there! Feel free to block me if you want, especially if you find this rude or anything. This is actually genuine, i’m NOT being sarcastic or anti.

i’m on the fence about proshipping. On the one hand, don’t like it? Don’t read it. I’ve read some crazy fanfiction that teeters on the line, but that’s not the point. On the other hand, it gets to a point where…you’re just normalizing r@pe or inc3st in fiction. And people say it’s just fiction, but fiction can definitely influence reality! But writing shouldn’t be censored. People should be free to write what they want, however they want. It’s art and should be treated with the same diligence. However, the when, where and how proshipping fanfics are presented SHOULD MATTER. It’s not censorship to require warning tags, or restrict it from young readers more severely.

okay, that’s my little rant lol. Again, i’m not gonna think you hate me if you block me and never answer this ask. Just wanted to get some other points of view and share my own.

dwdw. and thank you for being so respectful and nice abt it <3 anti or not, its always appreciated/gen

and i (personally) have some views that are probably pretty controversial LMAO. Which is pretty much, if something is normalized in fiction and it doesn’t breach over into real life, we’re okay.

say for instance, murder is common in fiction, it has been justified, shown as good, etc etc. practically doesn’t get portrayed or seen as bad. yet irl if someone goes out there and kills a random family, ppl aren’t going to go “oh yeah, thats normal” they’re going to be upset and appalled for what that persons done.

same thing with incest and rape, theres been a lot of fanfics over the years that have those two things, yet both are absolutely abhorrent in real life bc they hurt people, and no amount of normalizing it in fiction will normalize it irl.

And we can even get into old examples like with Greek Mythology where rape and the incest were seen as normal(-ish) in the stories, and still, people think that those things are horrible in real life, so fiction didn’t affect reality there. So, why would it change with like, idk, a wincest or willmike fics.

yes writing can influence reality, but only if you let it. Do research, look at studies, don’t rely on words that a random person made up to tell a story, because then, you are at fault, not the creator or the work. (You spoken generally here, not at you anon)

If you live your life and base your knowledge only on fiction and nothing more, then yeah, your reality is going to be skewed, but again, thats not the fictions fault. - 🧁🍕

ofcofc! so, just to clear up any confusion, being proship JUST means being anti-harassment, and pro-ship and let ship. you don't gotta like what other people ship, you just gotta respect them enough to be able to block and move on.

i def agree, tags should be applied correctly, and mature content should be age restricted, but there's a limit to that imo. like, i wouldn't agree with sites making you show your ID or anything, due to the invasion of privacy, when a lot of the issue of kids being in spaces they shouldn't be could be solved by better parenting.

i also don't agree that certain kinds of fiction "normalize" rape or incest. fiction CAN influence reality, sure, but it's never gonna make you go from "incest bad" to "incest good" just from watching, like. game of thrones, ya know? there would 100% have to be a problem with the individual to begin with to even reach those kinda conclusions (and that's largely a problem with lack of parenting, education, or mental health resources)

my point is, if someone reads a yucky darkfic, and rape/murder/incest/whatever is depicted as good, it is still on you as the viewer as to how you react to it.

again, it's totally fine to think those kinds of fics/ships are disgusting! you're allowed to feel your feelings! but to assume that everyone who reads those fics has even the potential to be bad people just because they read those things is, like. objectively the wrong way to go about things

#/nm ofc - 🏁🎸

[themuseofmilkandhoney333]

Why hello there…

Can you do me a big, big favor? You can? Wonderful! Get nice and comfy. Take a deep breath. Now, pay attention. That’s a good pet.

❤️‍🔥 Welcome to the Muse’s Lair ❤️‍🔥

Allow me to introduce myself. They call me The Muse. Oh yes, I know. It takes a bit of getting used to, but you really don’t mind jumping through a few extra hoops for me, do you, sweet thing? No, no I didn’t think so.

I also love to be called:

🖤Ma’am

🖤Madame

🖤 Mommy

🖤Mistress

🖤Princess

🖤 Goddess

I do have my certain preference that especially please me, but I’ll leave that to you to find out. Do you think you’ll be brave enough or will I need to coax you into talking to me like a lioness stalking her willing prey?

Awwww, look at you. Wet for me already. You precious thing. I can already tell that you’re going to be easy to break. No? Prove. Me. Wrong.

Now that you’re listening let me give you a small taste of my near feral appetite. Some of my Favorite Kinks are:

🌟Femdom

🌟Lactation- I do produce

🌟Orgasm Denial

🌟Chastity; long term & short term

🌟Female Led Households

🌟Impact Play: floggers and paddles mostly

🌟Bondage

🌟Sissification

🌟Overstimulation

🌟Milking

🌟Sounding

🌟Gaping

🌟Strap-on Play

🌟MD/lb

🌟Pet Play

🌟JOI

🌟Sensory Depravation & Play

🌟Intox Play

🌟Erotic Hypnosis

🌟Predicament Bondage

🌟Much, Much more…

You can find more of me here:

🌹

Ah…I see I really have your attention now. I bet you’re squirming right now, desperate to touch that thing between your legs. Are you imagining all the things I could do to you? The endless torturous and delicious possibilities. All your deepest, darkest fantasies fulfilled. You’ve been searching for someone like me. Someone who truly deserves your devotion and worship. Come to me.

Here you will find an amalgamation of my deepest desires and wildest fantasies. You will also find lots of art in many different mediums. I am called The Muse because my passion is to inspire. Whether it is inspiring you to stay hydrated, get back to work, get back to your favorite hobby, or reduce yourself into my pathetic, desperate, drooling pet…yes, I even want to inspire the hours of endless gooning you do in my name. I bask in it. As you stay and become more and more addicted to me, I will reveal myself to you and blossom like a garden before you…an endless harvest ahead.

Just to tempt your salivating taste buds, here’s the tiniest nugget into my world:

🖤Height: 5’2

🖤Shoe Size: 9 1/2 US Women’s

🖤Bra Size: 34 G

🖤Favorite Color: Carnelian

🖤Favorite Place: The Ocean

🖤 Sacral Witch specializing in Divination

🖤 Love Music & Singing

🖤 Love Nature & Outdoors

🖤 Love Animals & will walk you on a leash any day

Now, darling,a few final reminders. This is a sacred space where you are accepted, loved, and respected. Please treat my space with that same respect. I do not respond to demands. I WILL block you if you are disrespectful in any way towards me or any of the other guests here. You will also immediately be blocked for unsolicited pictures and blogs with empty descriptions, no profile pic, and/or no age.

Keep those requirements in mind and have fun. Get lost in it. Give yourself over to it. To me. And welcome…I do so love fresh meat.

I provide professional Domme services and require any new subs to fill out an application for that can be found in the link above. It does require an Application Fee.

With Lustful Intentions,

The Muse

[weirdstrangeandawful]

About me!

Hi! I'm Laertes. I've been here a while, but introductions are hard. This blog is mostly a whump prompt blog and a home for my novel A Good Man's Heart, but I will often put other stuff in it like art and fibre arts. I am also disabled and it impacts every part of my life so that will show up here very often. Please send me asks -- I'd love to chat! Especially about my novel and my OCs.

I have a post about this blog's boundaries here

A little about me I guess. I'm aroace, gay, neurodivergent, and disabled. I am an adult although I don't feel comfortable putting my actual age publicly on the internet (if that's a deal-breaker for you I respect that but I won't be changing this). I'm currently pursuing a degree in astronomy and I work in software engineering.

I enjoy exploring darker whump themes such as domestic violence, major trauma (especially painful or unsuccessful recoveries), and addiction although my prompts will contain a huge variety of things. I also love to research and write historical (especially military) whump no later than World War I (although it's mostly Canadian and British because, well, I'm Canadian).

(If you don’t know what whump is check out my post on the subject)

Please do check out what I've finished of my novel! I've never shared my writing before so I'm very proud of it!

A Good Man's Heart Table of Contents

Some notes on accessibility:

This blog is not terribly screen-reader friendly -- I do my best to add descriptions in alt text but what I end up posting usually takes all my effort to do so. A Good Man's Heart contains scene break embellishments in the text (similar to *** in printed books) which are just described as 'embellishment' so as not to break the flow too much. You can see the above-linked table of contents for a description of the embellishment (under the cut and under the cover image)

My tag system is a mess and I have yet to make a coherent one and corresponding post. The ones I stick by the most are: #whump+#whump prompt, #weird strange and awful art, and #medical+#disability

I post trigger warnings at the top of my whump posts (as well as some others) and I tag for as much as I can with just the term (no tw, cw, etc before or after). Do not hesitate to send me an ask or a message if you would like me to trigger warn a certain topic. I cannot commit to always tagging my disability related posts properly since I am often posting those when I am barely functional but I do my best.

If there are any accessibility improvements, please let me know! I may not always be able to accommodate because of my own accessibility needs but I do want to hear about what your needs are!

Also! @obfuscated-abstract is my sideblog which I use to summarise and post medical documentation on disabilities which would require someone outside of academia to pay for. Feel free to check it out and send in any papers you need access to.

[bipolar-sad-and-ready-to-cry]

I require oc lore

Any oc

Any fandom or original world

Pretty please? :3 👉👈?

Oc lore you say???? My friend you have no clue what monster you have awoken! I’ll start with my tsams/fnaf ocs and then I’ll do my other ocs from a few original stories I have in my head (too many original stories help)

Rocket is ,as I’ve explained before, a run away from his own dimension, he gets damaged by others touching him due to his Eclipse using the star to try and isolate him from others, so Rocket is very touch starved. Rocket has the mental age of a child and really just wants to be a normal kid. Also Rocket isn’t completely defenceless/weak, even though he wants to hide it, his tail not only is the only part of his body that won’t crumble under any touch but the tip of the tail is very sharp and dangerous, not as dangerous as his Eclipse’s tail which has venom but still very dangerous. If you want to hug Rocket, swaddle him, it fools what ever his Eclipse did to him into thinking it’s just an object.

Nova! My adorable mute Nova! They used to be a she/her but changed into a they/them or he/him (depends on the day), they still love to embrace their feminine side only because they have no concept of gendered clothes, it’s only clothes to them! They have 3 older brothers and a cousin who all adore them (even though in the beginning their brothers and cousin were annoyed by them), they often hang out with the youngest of their brothers, Plazoo, even though he tries to teach them how to win in poker. Nova has been through a lot of trauma but refuses to let that keep a hold of them! It took ages for them to get over trauma, sometimes I hope to refuse to let my own trauma get the best of me like Nova has.

Now these are my original world ocs, I’ll put art with them so you know what they look like

Stevan! I made him back in high school but he only really started to develop when I became an adult, he was my hyper fixation for a good few years so be ready for lore galore! Stevan is an alien from a planet called Unver, he is pescatarian (meaning only animals he eats are egg and fish) but it’s not by choice, something is very wrong in his tummy but he can not afford to find out what is wrong because he has no money! He is homeless and has been since he was four when he was abandoned by an orphanage in the forest, even though his friends offer to let him live with them he just feels bad taking advantage of their kindness. He of course has a whole host of mental problems including DID (tried my best to research it). He is also a chimera, which means he absorbed his twin but don’t worry his dead twin lives in his head! His alters also out of some bizarre mutation to do with his family and all that has powers! Stevan cannot reliably control any of their powers unless the alter is next to him in the mind scape! That all I’ll do for Stevan, we need to give the others some attention hehe.

———

BB! My beloved BB! A very mentally unstable gooey boy! He also lives on Unver just very very far away from Stevan, he has I guess assisted living? Meaning he gets to survive and live on his own but he has people who come in to help him with certain activities like remembering to take his meds. He may or may not have bipolar and often hallucinations.

That’s all I’ll do for now! If you want to know more just ask and I’ll go digging through my pictures for them

[wishitweresummer]

Introduction to my Dream Team(Plus Friends) Tickle AU

(You really don’t need to read this to understand my book, it’s more just a place where I can keep track of my headcannons and little character connections. This will be changing a lot as the story progresses.)

Alright! This is my Alternate Universe where all the boys live a lot closer together and are a little obsessed with tickling!

(The AU and all my sfw stories can be found here!)

Characters

-My focus is on Dream, George, Sapnap, Skeppy, BadBoyHalo, Karl, and Quackity.

-I am not opposed to adding more…(‘and Friends’).

-Will not include Technoblade or Tommyinnit.

Living Situations

     All of the houses are in the same area of Florida and most of them just moved in recently.

- George, Dream, and Sapnap live together

- Skeppy and BadBoyHalo live together

- Karl Jacoba lives alone

- Quackity lives alone

DSMP

There will be a few stories that take place in the DSMP! This is a completely fluff story so in my DSMP world there is no angst! Fiancés are together and happy. The egg is around, but still harmless. No one is imprisoned or exiled. (Yayyy!)

Ships

- No actual pairings right now - everyone is just BFFs.

- Some characters will make a lot of shipping references though, a lot of references to dnf, skephalo, and karlnapity.

Some Lingo To Help Get my Headcannons Across

     I actually think it is very rare to fall into a perfect definition of a Lee, Ler, or Switch. My selections for each are going to be very loosey-goosey here, but I think it might help get my vibe of each boy across. All my characters still fall into the hate-being-tickled category.

Dream: Switch

George: Lee-leaning switch

Sapnap: Ler-leaning switch

Karl Jacobs: Lee-leaning switch

Skeppy: Ler

BadBoyHalo: Lee

Quackity: Ler-leaning switch

Fun Facts

-George is very ticklish, but he is 10 times more ticklish when it is Dream tickling him.

-BadBoyHalo and Skeppy aren't dating, but they might as well be. They know each other and their tickle spots better than anybody. Platonic Soulmates.

-Karl’s love language is physical touch.

- George doesn’t knock.

Everyone's Death Spots

(And the fics they are first discovered in my canon~~)

Dream- Stomach

GeorgeNotFound- Underarms

Sapnap- Feet

Skeppy- Ribs

BadBoyHalo- Thighs/Knees

Karl Jacobs- Shoulders/Neck

Quackity- Back (Back/Wings for character)

Your Input

If you find yourself wanting more from this book and want to see if I can deliver, let me know! A certain pairing you're just desperate for? A specific scenario you need? Get inspired and made art that would go perfectly with a story? Come into my DMs and maybe we can figure something out. We could do requests or a collab. Or figure something else out! The only requirements for my DMs are that you have to be 18+. You also have to be patient if I do not respond right away.

Ages (Canon)

Dream- 23 (Aug. 12)

George- 26 (Nov. 1)

Sapnap- 22 (Mar. 1)

Skeppy- 23 (Jan. 17)

BadBoyHalo- 28 (Apr. 2)

Quackity- 22 (Dec. 28)

Cover Art

Made by @kazenomegaminowanpisu

[uchidachi]

Dragon Age Exchange Letter 2024

Hello Black Emporium Rare Pair Exchange Writer/Artist!

Thank you for making this gift for me! I know I will love whatever you come up with, but for those who like a little more guidance I have left many prompts in the signup and some general likes & dislikes here.

I'm open to treats of Fic and/or Art and multi-recip treats!

General Likes:  I really like UST and mutual pining, also the corny stuff like “fake married” or “bed sharing” or “arranged marriage” tropes. I LOVE Soulmate AUs more than anything else, I’m an absolute sucker for those. I also like the enemies-to-friends-to-lovers trope. I also really like cats, so if you give a character a cat, I will be happy

General dislikes: I love angst, but not really hurt/comfort. I love canon deviation and certain AUs, but I really don’t get into any AUs that change the setting for Dragon Age

DNW: any kind of abuse, bathroom kinks, bestiality, crossovers, humiliation, incest, modern AUs, mundane AUs, noncon/dubcon, omegaverse, pregnancy, PWP, second-person POV, underage, whump.

Specific Character/Pairing notes: I tag all my ships on this blog with “character a x character b” in alphabetical order, so if you want to look up what I’ve reblogged/posted on Krem/Harding for instance, look for the tag “harding x krem” and Adaar/Vivienne would be under both “inquisitor x vivienne” and “adaar x vivienne”. OT3s are under the tag “ot3″. A lot of the pairings this year are truly the rarest of rare, so for some of them I may not have any content yet!

For the many Vivienne ships I requested; I do headcanon her and Bastien having an open relationship when they are together, so feel free to use that headcanon if you want!

Now for the spoiler part of the letter. Please let this photo of my cat protect you if you wish to not read Veilguard prompts. Otherwise please scroll past the cat & click read more for more prompts.

Male Adaar/Solas or Female Cadash/Solas - I put this under the spoiler group because I am in love with the idea that maybe Inquisitors who were shot down by Solas during Inquisition get a second chance at romance in Veilguard. Just imagine the possibilities…

Vivienne/Emmrich Volkarin - Well, she does canonically like silver foxes ;)

Davrin & Merrill (Dragon Age) - LET! MERRILL! PET! THE! BABY! GRIFFON! Ok apart from Assan, I really would love to see Merrill able to make friends with another Dalish elf, and as a Grey Warden Davrin is likely less anti-blood-magic than average. Or at least I’m going to headcanon that he is, until proven otherwise. 

Fenris/Neve Gallus - All the joy of pairing Fenris with a mage, with less drama because she’s 100% with him on hunting down maleficars & helping Tevinter slaves. Also I have one word for you: Casefic.

For general Veilguard stuff: I'm planning to play as a lady Rook that is a Dwarven rogue archer named Rhea. If there's a background for Rook that doesn't involve being part of the Carta I'll be over the moon. That's not at all required to include, but I thought I might as well include it

[ziseviolet]

I posted 5,832 times in 2022

That's 1,413 more posts than 2021!

30 posts created (1%)

5,802 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fouryearsofshades

@rongzhi

@hanfugallery

@fuckyeahchinesefashion

I tagged 5,828 of my posts in 2022

#r - 5,765 posts

#hanfu - 3,786 posts

#art - 1,187 posts

#tang dynasty - 810 posts

#audio - 791 posts

#ming dynasty - 738 posts

#video - 734 posts

#mens hanfu - 576 posts

#drama - 572 posts

#art by op - 558 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#i'll always associate this song with the giant dancing ginseng from that one chunwan performance

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

In wuxia I see that they have half their hair up and the other half down. Is there a certain period where this hairstyle directs from?

Hi, thanks for the question, and sorry for taking ages to reply!

The half-up, half-down hairstyle that you often see on both male & female characters in Chinese guzhuang (period costume) dramas is not based on historical hairstyles. Rather, it is a fairly recent styling convention, most likely originating from late 20th century wuxia TV shows from Hong Kong (x). Over time the hairstyle has become normalized and commonplace in Chinese costume dramas, especially in the wuxia and xianxia genres (because these genres are not necessarily aiming for historical accuracy in the first place).

Below, from left to right: Wang Hedi in Love Between Fairy and Devil, Deng Wei in Miss the Dragon, Xiao Zhan in The Untamed, Gong Jun in Word of Honor: 

As @niteshade925 explains in this post, for male characters, the main idea of the hairstyle is to make the character look attractive, and also in some shows/context, to hint at the character’s personality, as in maybe they do not adhere to traditional customs and are free-spirited/spontaneous. For female characters, it is usually just a regular hairstyle without deeper meaning :P

For more information on this half-up half-down hairstyle, and historical hairstyles in general, please see the following posts:

The historical accuracy of half-up half-down hairstyles

The historical accuracy of ponytails

Historical hairstyles for men

Hope this helps!

528 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#4

Dior Mamianqun Controversy

I received the following message via chat from a follower, that I would like to share here:

Hi, 小紫, do you know that Dior appropriates the modernized mamianqun designed by some hanfu brands in china? link of discussion about Dior 2022 A/W show on weibo: https://weibo.com/6323095999/LChcJyPTa?refer_flag=1001030103_&type=repost#_rnd1657858224778 , I think Dior indeed directly referenced the structure of how it's pleated and inner cutouts of mamianqun which has a long history dated back to ming dynasty and influenced the shape of qing dynasty skirts as well, it is sussy, look how the DIOR model turned around when the skirt spread to reveal the split style, this is indeed the unique inner structure of mamianqun, a more rigorous examination requires DIOR to show the flat design, but Dior is not responding, it claims on the official website that this is their exclusive style launched this year, yet the same style of mamianqun has been prevalent among young people in China for several years, there are several taobao stores making exactly this kind of modernized mamianqun since 2018 or even early (metal leather buckle belt + fabric suitable for autumn and winter + long skirts), such as 四时景, 你好美荔, etc., I don't know how to make it an anonymous ask for you to post my question but I would like to listen to your and other followers' comments on this, thank you 小紫(also feel totally free not to post this one, it's your blog and you make the call ❤️

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1,167 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#3

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1,262 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#2

Hi! I'm really fond of researching about hanfu and its history, and I found a lot of interesting information on this blog. But I can't help it and keep wondering about the reason for qipao/cheongsang not be considered a hanfu? When I researched about it the most common argument is the Manchu influence on it. However, there are a plenty of hanfu styles that were influenced by other cultures. Is there a more especific reason for not consider the qipao?

Hi, thanks for the question, and glad you like my blog! (x)

I want to start off with an important disclaimer:

The term “hanfu” as we use it today (defined as “traditional Han Chinese clothing”) does not have the exact same meaning as when it was used historically. As @audreydoeskaren explains in this post, “while it is true that the term “hanfu” was used in some historical texts, they were often used in opposition to clothing worn by foreign peoples...and not as a standalone term”. Today, there is no central organizing body or law that states exactly what is & what is not considered hanfu. Rather, such categorization is done by the members of the hanfu community - and the hanfu community is not a monolith. Ever since its inception in 2003, the hanfu revival movement has been a grassroots, bottom-up movement with members of various backgrounds, ideologies, and opinions. It is a movement that is built upon, and driven forward by, constant dialogue and debate among its members. Thus the question of what garments are considered hanfu is under continuous discussion, and is subject to the hanfu community’s views and ideas on culture, clothing, and history.

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2,167 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What exactly does Dunhuang style mean?

Hi, thanks for the question! (x)

Dunhuang/敦煌 style refers to the art, fashion, and culture depicted in the Dunhuang Murals/敦煌壁画 of China, which are located in the Mogao Caves in Dunhuang, Gansu Province. From the 4th to 14th century, the caves were constructed by Buddhist monks to serve as shrines with funds from donors. These caves were elaborately painted, the cave paintings and architecture serving as aids to meditation, visual representations of the quest for enlightenment, and teaching tools for Buddhist beliefs and stories. The major caves were sponsored by patrons such as important clergy, local ruling elite, foreign dignitaries, as well as Chinese emperors (x). Below - painting from the Dunhuang Murals (x):

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3,306 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kukuandkookie]

Man I should’ve gone to sleep ages ago or at least enjoyed myself by reading more danmei or manhua before I do so but…

I ran across a tweet asking if there’s any Chinese actors who can compare visually to a specific Korean actor and it did kind of strike a nerve with me.

But that wasn’t even that big of a deal. Some people like Korean actors and some people like Chinese actors. You can share some pretty Chinese actors and see what others say, whatever.

Ignoring the political tensions OP may have been stoking—as in, I’m of Chinese descent and I always hate seeing any Korea vs China posts crop up; besides being more popular than China anyway, I just have bad experiences in the past with nationalists spiralling this kind of thing out of control and making me sad to realize that quite a number of Korean people actually really hate/look down on China. So ignoring all that, who cares, right?

Except I found some care being piqued when I saw a qrt pretty rudely claiming Chinese actors are so weak they can’t lift their female partners and that they also can’t sing or act—and if OP could have, I’m sure they’d claim they can’t dance either.

Like hello??? We’re really pretending a country of 1.7 billion people isn’t going to have some skilled or strong people in acting??? Hell, some of these so-called “can’t sing/act” Chinese actors have actually found success in Korea for doing the thing that person thinks they can’t (eg Wang Yibo, literally). So is this apparent Korean entertainment fan just going to ignore that fact about the Korean entertainment industry???

Even all of that is technically whatever, but what rubbed me the wrong way was that they sounded so petty and weird about it too???? It’s one thing to say, “I don’t think Chinese actors are that impressive because they’re not very strong or skilled at their craft”—that’s still a bizarre claim to make even as an opinion (because it’s written as a broad, generalizing, sweeping statement instead), but it nevertheless sounds a lot less asshole-ish than whatever the hell their actual tweet is:

So this time I was petty and ended up responding ffjhskdjs.

Idk if they’re going to start arguing with me but hey at least it led me to find some cute clips of actors carrying actresses:

I also found some fun facts about actors; some of which I knew, and some of which I didn’t: Song Weilong knows martial arts, Luo Yunxi knows ballet, Li Xian dives, Wallace Chung plays sports (volleyball, tennis, baseball), Huang Jingyu does Brazilian jiu jitsu…

Like those are all skills that just so happen to require strength.

And even skinny people can be strong (Luo Yunxi can be easily labelled thin, but he’s not without muscle. Like ballet isn’t an easy sport at all).

Then we have the opposite side of the spectrum with the fact that China has a whole martial arts movie industry. Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen… Whether you think their strength is practical or not, martial arts still takes a form of strength.

Plus you know how Asia is about “men needing to be manly.” Even with the flower boy trend in both China and Korea, there’s still an emphasis on some traditional gender roles, and quite a number of Chinese men do work out.

There’s just so many different forms of strength.

My younger brother works out and he can physically pick me up (he actually did it today to force me to get out of bed lol), but he’s often lamented being skinny, so the muscle doesn’t show—or take form—as easily. In fact, both my brothers are their own forms of gym bros so I know a bit about physical strength, and there’s obviously the fact there are many different kinds of strength.

A man who works out regularly and has visible muscles can likely pick up a woman, but that doesn’t mean he’ll necessarily be great in a fight or at a certain sport (eg my brother is good at working out, can lift heavy things to be fixed or carried, is technically alright at basketball, but cannot really do long-distance running).

My older brother then looks bigger than my younger brother but he can’t easily beat him in an arm wrestling match. My dad isn’t that muscular but he can also hold his own in an arm wrestling match against my brothers.

It’s almost as if different bodies and different types of strength exist! The exact same way that beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!

Back to the flower boys thing—with there being a trend in China where people prefer more “delicate” men (remember when Simu Liu got cast as Shang-Chi and a number of articles came out about some Chinese netizens not finding him all that attractive?), then of course Chinese actors may not be as bulked out as some western ones. But that’s also whatever—it’s a cultural difference.

As I already described, there are Chinese actors with muscles, or who work out, or who are strong in other/not immediately obvious ways, or who can carry actresses…

But whether they can or can’t, including whether they’re muscular or thin, I don’t think it matters. In fact, if anything, I’m glad that despite the government’s efforts to “ban” flower men, the blur between masculine and feminine—at least when we follow the western standards—still exists in China.

And I emphasize that even more since China and Korea can buy into beliefs about gender that imo are too traditional. So I am glad that even if Chinese men are “smaller” than Korean men—or at least the actors are (in that person’s eyes), they’re defying gender expectations somewhat. Especially what with Korea fervently continuously getting the spotlight for misogyny in the workplace or by fans/incels (eg recently with Arknights’ more independent Korean division despite Arknights coming across as rather feminist, the whole ordeal with Furina’s designer, the whole 🤏 controversy, actual sexual scandal cases…).

And well oops that went into another tangent.

Technically it’s not that serious, but it is also a slippery slope. And anyway, the tweet in general was just baffling enough it made me want to respond lol.

[s-b-party]

Court of Desolation: Domain with Forbidden Knowledge?

****Possible spoilers ahead!!!

So what is the Court of Desolation?

A domain that is introduced in Cyno’s story quest that is from the age of King Deshret believed to contain treasure inside making bearers capable of seeing beyond life and death or even resurrecting the dead

It’s a forbidden research topic within the Akademiya due to the risks that came along with the idea of the price of one’s life either being the requirement for it to appear or for one to enter it (you can imagine where this led 😔)

Why do I say it’s twisted? If we look at the infrastructure from inside without looking at the cracks in the walls that Taj created in order to destroy it, we come across certain something strange

The walls and structures are covered in what appears to be a purple gooey/slimy substance which we don’t know much about

The torch-like structures (are they called torches???? I don’t know what they’re called, send help 💀) that light up when we follow those blue orbs leading us to them have been seen all over the desert, but there is something different about the torches inside this particular domain

Here is what they normally look like:

Here’s what the torch in the Court of Desolation looks like (I couldn’t take better pics bc the camera function was gone once I entered the domain 😭)

You can see that it retains the same shape & designs, but there is more purple on the front of it

This shade of purple is found throughout this entire domain and there is also the constant imagery of a diamond-shaped eye

The purple used here seems to evoke a sense of malice; the overall domain seems to be like a perversion of the Mausoleum of King Deshret

Interestingly, purple in some civilizations was a color associated with royalty or nobility so I think that in terms of color schematics, the difference between a golden mausoleum and a purple domain that’s meant to be a perversion of said mausoleum makes sense as a contrast

We also see King Deshret represented as an eye in a lot of the art, so to me, the eye in the domain implies that there’s still a divine presence but the purple theme gives it a sinister atmosphere

This court is reminding me A LOT of the Defiled Statue of Seven, another (purple I might add) object of divine importance but also twisted 👀

Some of the mechanics inside this domain seem twisted as well (involves flipping the domain’s walls/corridors upside down); even the stationary walls seem off bc they appear to be at different angles as if they’re turning/spiraling 👀

My theory is that the Court of Desolation may have came into contact with forbidden knowledge & managed to survive up until Taj closed it off

It was created by an organization during King Deshret’s age that is not named, so we don’t know if this organization’s members were originally part of the his kingdom or if they were from another region or maybe even from another world

The reason why I thought it might be forbidden knowledge in the domain is because when we look back at the cutscene explaining how the Withering came to be, we can see it flowing down from King Deshret into his kingdom in the form of a blue and purple liquid substance

That might seem like a simple coincidence at first, but it seems to make a bit of sense when combined with the rumors of treasure giving its bearers the ability to see past life & death along with resurrecting the dead, which are considered sins at the Akademiya (tampering with life & death) aka taboo topics

Now we don’t know with certainty if this domain actually contained such knowledge/information, but I would also like to consider what domains are capable of when it comes to information

We know that once Rukkhadevata erased herself from Irminsul, there were consequences of information deletion/change in the lore, but there are still items/locations where such information was not affected, one of them being domains bc we know that the Viridescent Venerer artifact set still mentions her as she was

Items that we farm in domains are considered to be a form of memory, so assuming that this lack of change in the VV set description wasn’t a simple mistake overlooked by the dev team, we can say that domains are capable of retaining memories/information from the far past

The story requirement for Cyno’s story quest is to complete King Deshret and the Three Magi, which takes place before Rukkhadevata’s self erasure; I only completed Cyno’s story quest after this most recent Archon Quest, Caribert; I don’t know if my time of completion changes anything, but if that purple substance in the domain is actual forbidden knowledge, then it seems on brand that the domain somehow managed to keep it even after the erasure because domains in this game just seem like a backup system for memories of the past

I think the even bigger mystery than the presence of this domain is the unnamed organization that built this domain, there is a lot of speculation here because there’s not much we know about this organization: we don’t know their motive(s) for creating this domain, do we know anybody from this organization even by name, did forbidden knowledge only enter this domain after these people left, were they the founders of any of the existing Eremites’ factions, etc.

I need to see if there’s anything that I’m missing from the archives that might have more insight on this but also I need to catch up on the windblume event 😭 so have these crack thought crumbs for now

[gunitnekoh]

(I’m not super smart and I don’t know how a lot of shit works but)

My radical (incomplete list of) ideas for America:

Four/five hour work shifts

Four day work week

Daily pay guaranteed

6 months paid maternity/paternity leave and the parents can switch off and get the whole year

High speed rail cross country to all major cities

(We need public transport overhaul basically)

Universal basic income. If you want more money you can get a job but it’s not necessary for life

Native Americans should NOT pay taxes (apparently they do here. I didn’t know that. I thought we had the same rule as Canada where they don’t have to and the fact they do I think it’s bull shit. Omg we owe them so much in back taxes too)

Members of Congress cannot have a law/politics/business/or business science degree. They can have a Minor but their Major must be in a field other than those. Obviously we need law majors etc. to help run things just NOT for OFFICES. I want science and art majors in there. I want “the rest of life” represented in there.

Age CAPS on certain political offices (you cannot run after a certain age)

National minimum wage needs to be a percentage of the highest grossing income of the nation. I think if we make it a percentage then that keeps it tethered to the highest income and maintains the gap. We all make more money as the big guys make more money and benefits everyone. Also we just have to track the highest income and make a simple Calc every few years to adjust the pay. Everyone can do the math.

Bring back home economics and shop class. Also we need local wildlife and botany as required courses in school.

Get rid of gerrymandering and lobbying. Just grid the place.

We need more public UNDEVELOPED land. There needs to be a percentage of public/undeveloped land per square mile of city.

Demilitarize police. Holy shit why are our cops outfit like an army? We HAVE an army wtf!

There’s more but I can’t think of it all now

Feel free to add

[clover-the-awesomest]

Here’s my Masterpost I guess…?

Hello hello! Here’s my currently unofficial master-post! My name is Clover, (she/they ig 😕) and this is my main blog where I reblog a bunch of stuff I like! It’s all mostly Wander Over Yonder and Rise of the TMNT, so if you’re not interested I suggest you keep on scrolling. However, if I take a liking to something that doesn’t require it’s own blog, I’ll reblog that as well.

This masterpost is currently made for understanding my boundaries and for organization purposes. I’ll likely update it whenever any of these things change or whenever I wanna add some more 🌟Personality🌟 to the post. Please respect these following guidelines:

Please don’t message me. It’s very very likely I will never respond or I’ll get too attached or something. I’d like for the messages to only be between moots or people I know irl. Speaking of which…

Do not send me an ask questioning me about anything personal. There isn’t really much special about me in real life, especially considering I’m on Tumblr, and besides. This is literally the internet. Things such as my name, age, where I live, who I live with, who I know, etc. All of that is off limits. Please do not expect me to reveal anything of the sort.

This is also not really a “Family friendly” blog. Swear/curse words are very much allowed, but my language is not very “Colourful.” Always refrain from using any swear words that are offensive against a certain group/minority or any slur within that range. If you don’t know what I mean, don’t ask.

In this same vein of thought, I need to mention I AM A MINOR. Anything nsfw is strictly prohibited. I do hope this doesn’t need to be elaborated on any further.

On a more positive note, my asks are open to anyone! It doesn’t matter what fandom you’re in, I’ll be willing to answer anything from Undertale to TGAMM! Obviously though, I will not tolerate anything rude or uncomfortable, and of course there will be no bots in my asks. (Hopefully)

As for organization, everything is split up into multiple different tags for convenience. WOY stuff, however, is for now stuck under one single tag, as this blog started as just an ROTTMNT blog and all the other tags are related to that instead. You can go around and look for what you want by searching each tag in the searching bar at the top of my blog.

My tags are actually pretty unique to this blog! Here’s an example or two: The tag “ew” refers to the ROTTMNT comic called “Emperion Weeping,” and the tag “swanny boi” refers to another Rise comic called “Swanatello.” Idk if that’s the comic’s official name but that’s the one I remember.

I do this for originality purposes and so that it can just fit my blog’s personal style. It’s relatively the same for my other side blogs as well!

Speaking of which, here are all my active blogs! (Not including this one cuz ur on it right now)

Lego Monkie Kid blog: www.tumblr.com/justmeclover

Sonic the Hedgehog blog: www.tumblr.com/my-name-is-jefferooni

Undertale/Underverse blog: www.tumblr.com/i-just-do-reblogs

These are all side blogs and this is my main, so there may be some days where I’m silent on those while others I’ll just be hammering out reblogs! Check em out if you want!

By the way, I’m working on an ROTTMNT fan comic myself for my “New Home AU!” It’s currently unfinished and I have no idea when I’ll get the courage to post any pages, but any asks about the AU are very VERY much appreciated! I’ll be very happy to respond to anything that doesn’t delve too much into the story… Just the basics.

To follow up on this, yes I do draw and I am willing to share my art with you. It will be a while before that happens though since I currently do not have access to a laptop, so posting my art will be more difficult.

And as a final guideline, no, I am not on any other social media platform and hopefully I never will be. My goal is to stay out of as much internet conflict as possible, so do not request for me to get like a Twitter or a Wattpad.

Thank you all so much for reading this far! Hopefully in the future this masterpost will be way shorter than it is right now. I’m still kinda new to all this posting shit right now, so. Yeah. I really appreciate how far you’ve made it.

Hope you can also continue to enjoy this blog! Have a good day/night!

[pokeheros-drama]

"To the other anon says that “the community deserves better…”"

Certainly.

-Immediately re-work the block system so it properly blocks users as it does on many other similar sites. This is a major source of negativity on the site and would improve QOL drastically.

-As there are many minors on the site, limit the amount of communication features underage users can use on account creation. Would help with the numerous complaints from other users regarding "annoying posts." The site Goatlings handles this nicely- users under a certain age have access to the game aspects of the site, but are unable to post on the forum. PH could implement something similar, where kids can play the game but not have access to the forum, notif wall posts, and possibly palpad (I'm more concerned for their protection from creeps than trying to police what they can do). Stuff like the advent calendar that requires interaction with these features can auto-complete for accounts flagged as child accounts. Once the user ages up, they gain access to these features. Could also be possible to voluntarily ask for your account to have this limited access even if not a child for those who just want to play the game and find the community to be too much.

-Implement a "pity system" for excruciating hunts that go on for longer than average. Ex. "once a user has hatched X number of eggs, increase the chance of hatching a shiny to X%" OR "once a user has hatched Y number of eggs, the next egg is shiny." Would cut down on the complaints and allow more users to enjoy hunting more pokemon.

-Bring on (an) additional programmer/s. It is clear that Riako is being stretched too thin as it is with his real job and the site. Many similar sites have at least two people with this role. It would not only help speed up updates on the site, but it would also combat the claims that Riako is selfish/egotistical/greedy/etc. It's clear that Riako is under stress, but rather than reaching out for help he reacts negatively and has a mindset of "it's my site so what I say goes." Having another developer on PH could bring new ideas and a fresh outlook to the site.

-Actively view the suggestions board and keep an open mind. The userbase as a whole feels like they're being unheard, and this is causing resentment and more negativity. Yes, some of the suggestions are not as high-quality as they could be, but there are many great ones that a majority of the playerbase would enjoy. I'm sure there have been some that you yourself thought might be interesting to see.

-Retroactively credit everyone who has helped on the site on the wiki or a separate Credits page, barring perhaps staff that were forcibly removed due to legitimate drama. Again, would combat the claims that Riako is egotistical. Many non-Pokemon sites have it programmed so art credits are displayed at the bottom of the page upon loading certain images (such as Dragon Cave).

These are just a few of my thoughts on the matter. I'm sure other users can think of more. Despite what certain other users claim, I don't outright hate the site, I'm just strongly disappointed in seeing it steadily go downhill after so many years.

(And to a certain someone in particular: I have a degree in computer science. I know what running a game like this involves, that's why I'm upset with the state it's in.)

[melicorn]

Content warning for discussion about depression, suicidality, mental illness, disability, therapy, treatment, hospitals, and the American healthcare system.

I don’t know a lot about John Fetterman; he seems like a decent guy though and I hope his treatment goes well. When I first saw the headline that he was checking himself into the hospital for depression, I thought, “well, good, I hope this starts many conversations about hospitalization for mental health treatment.”

I have already been thinking about hospitalization a lot lately. I turn 40 soon, which means it’s also the 10 year anniversary of my most recent mental hospitalization, following what had been my fourth or fifth suicide attempt. That stay got me on medication I still rely on today, and the follow-up outpatient care eventually led to the ADHD diagnosis which explained why my depression had been so resistant to treatment for such a long time. (Like I said, before age 30, I had four or five suicide attempts, over fifteen years in and out of therapy with at least half a dozen practitioners by that point, including a previous hospitalization, and tried more SSRIs and supplemental medications than I can remember.) Turns out all the serotonin in the world can’t make a difference if you don’t have dopamine.

One of the things my therapists would often ‘congratulate’ me on was my very clear and precise self-awareness regarding my mental illness. But that level of introspection meant over the years I grew increasingly frustrated and isolated by others’ inability to understand or empathize with my struggles. Even when I had complete lucidity over my mental state and could communicate it in a descriptive and accurate manner, there was no way the other person could actually *know* what it really *felt* like. Excepting, of course, some of the other patients who were in my unit at the hospital. In the year or two following my second hospitalization, I came to realize that the major barrier to neurotypical people understanding people with mental illness disorders and other neurodivergent diagnoses is that, unlike physical ailments, there really is no temporary mental illness. Of course some people experience trauma, grief, or deep sadness that require a short period of medical intervention, but the type of conditions that lead to multiple crises and hospitalizations are always lifelong. I do not pretend that passing physical maladies are truly comparable to permanent physical disabilities, but the fact that almost all people will have an injury or illness at some point that will at least partially debilitate them before recovery gives them at least a starting point to imagine what a permanent disability would be like. I do think this is part of the reason why society has been much better about creating standards for accessibility and accommodation regarding physical status as compared to mental status (although of course they are still woefully lacking in both areas).

After this realization, I had an idea for a comic I wanted to do about my experience with mental illness, and more specifically treatment for mental illness, especially in regards to how it works in the United States. I think I even talked about the general outline of it with one of my therapists, but of course, it never came to any kind of fruition because of ADHD and extreme executive dysfunction. (I mean, that’s why I gave up comics and any kind of art as a career all together, after all.) So here is the script I have carried around in my head for some nine or ten years, a bit of solace for whenever someone (including myself) asks me why I can’t just do a certain thing, or why I take so long to do something, or just in general why I am how I am.

Imagine you are walking along one day, and suddenly both of your legs break. Now, this isn’t the first time you’ve broken a leg, in fact, it seems to happen with some frequency, but rarely simultaneously, and this time they are really bad; all kinds of messed up angles that shouldn’t be there.

“Hey! Help!” You cry out, “I really need someone to help me!”

A few people pass by not noticing or pretending to not notice, but eventually someone stops and says, “oh wow, that looks really bad!”

“Yeah, I know” you reply, “can you help?”

“Oh sure, there’s a hospital just a block that way. If you get up and walk over there I’m sure they can fix you right up!”

“Uhh, what. Are you joking?”

“No, it’s just right there, see? It’s a really short walk!”

“Both my legs are extremely broken. I’m quite sure I cannot walk at all.”

“Have you even tried though? Look, I walk all the time, it’s quite easy, just put one foot in front of the other. Watch how I do it and I’m sure you can too!” And you watch them easily walk away as you are lying on the ground.

You start dragging yourself in the direction of the hospital using your hands and arms, continuing to ask for help from those walking past you. One person suggests that if your leg doesn’t work, you could just hop on the other leg. You explain, no, both of your legs are broken, you don’t have another leg to use. They look at you with a puzzled expression and say, “well that just doesn’t make any sense” while shaking their head and then going on about their business.

The last person you ask for help says, “oh, of course, let me carry you the rest of the way” and you let out a huge sigh of relief.

They continue, “just stand up so I can pick you up and piggyback you over there.”

“Umm, is it not clear that is entirely impossible for me?”

“Ugh, just standing?” They scoff, “how can I be expected to help you when you aren’t willing to help yourself even a little bit?”

“I mean, I already dragged myself over fifty yards of pavement, I think that’s pretty good.”

“That’s ridiculous, everyone can stand, even toddlers can stand for a little bit. All I’m asking you to do is stand for a few seconds so it’s easier for me to pick you up.”

You look down at your legs, each curved in a different spiraling shape, now fairly bloody from being dragged down the street. “And I am telling you I definitely cannot do that” you respond as they walk away.

Eventually you do manage to drag yourself through the hospital doors, your arms bruised and scraped, looking almost as bad as your legs. Fortunately the medical staff gets to you and takes you in for surgery right away. Well, not quite right away, as you’re hard to see on the floor, and perhaps one or two of the orderlies accidentally trampled you or ran a gurney over you, but none of that matters because now you’re in the hands of professionals and they are going to fix you!

The first thing they do, of course, is take you in for x-rays after asking you a few questions. They wheel you in to meet the doctor, and you think, “ah great, we’ll have the surgery to set the bones and then in a few weeks or months I’ll be good as new!” The doctor then explains that no, that is not going to be what’s happening, as you can clearly see in your x-rays, you don’t actually have any bones in your legs, just a bunch of toothpicks held together with scotch tape.

On your floor of the hospital, you meet other patients with toothpicks and scotch tape in their legs, some with twigs held together with twine, some that have plastic forks and hot glue, and even a few that were somehow getting by with crazy straws and silly string. Most of them are like you and never had bones in their legs to begin with, but there are a few that had their bones stolen by someone, or lost them in a horrible accident. You also see a few patients that do have real bones in their legs, but they also grew spring-loaded hammers attached to their toes that whack them in the shins every time they try to take a step.

Well, the toothpicks and scotch tape definitely explain why your legs seem to break so easily and frequently, but is there any way you can get real bones for your legs?

“Oh no,” the doctor explains, “your body can’t grow bones in your legs, and it would reject any bones we transplant into your legs, plus you would have no idea how to walk with them.”

“Well, I would argue I can barely walk as it is,” you respond, “but I guess I see your point.”

So you and the doctor discuss options and plans for treatment. Perhaps you can start by upgrading to bamboo skewers and duct tape, there’s a lot of new and exciting research coming out about the use of wooden dowels, and maybe once you’ve been in outpatient treatment for a while you can find a carpenter who can carve you custom support with hinges that are actually screwed in.

(And since this all happened before the Affordable Care Act was passed into law, and since even after it was passed it didn’t provide anywhere near the help that is needed.) “This all sounds good, but I just don’t know how I’ll be able to afford it. I’ve had a hard time staying employed, since my legs break every few months and jobs almost always require some amount of standing and walking.”

The hospital staff reassures you, “don’t worry, there’s a program for people without leg bones to help pay for their treatments, just go to this building when you check out.”

And so after about a week you do check out of the hospital, legs in full casts up to your hips to protect your new, but fragile, sticks inside. You’re able to hobble around surprisingly well using crutches, so you make your way to the address you were given.

When you get there, you find a building surrounded by a 10-foot tall stone wall and a 5-foot wide moat. You circle the whole building, but there are definitely no doors, bridges, or even windows within reach. You do find someone who seems to look official and in charge though.

“Excuse me,” you ask, “is this the place for people without bones in their legs? How am I supposed to enter?”

“Yes, this is it. You’ll just need to pole-vault over the moat and wall.”

“Umm, I think there’s been some mistake. I’m just recovering from both my legs breaking, as are most of the other people seeking your services, I believe. Are you able to provide any kind of assistance for me?”

“Oh, there’s no mistake. You grab onto the pole with your hands, so it’s totally fine for your to do. And we can loan you a pole if you need, you’ll just need to do 10 jumping jacks and a short hopscotch run.”

You roll your eyes thinking, how on earth does anyone ever get through this? As you look around, you see more people with fresh casts on their legs, or old bandages, or some with a leg still broken. You see a lot of them run a few steps with the pole only to have a leg give out from under them and they fall again. Many of them do just give up and crawl away at that point. Some people look like they have family members that are trying to push them over, or do the pole-vaulting themselves while carrying the injured person. A few have even hired a catapult to fling them over, but that seems to cost more than any financial assistance you could get. Eventually you decide to tunnel your way under. It’s slow and laborious, but it seems the least risky, and you really don’t want to break a leg again.

When you finally get through, you do start getting regular checks on how your legs are doing. You learn how to spot splinters so you can plus some glue on them before they turn into full fractures. And importantly you start working with a trainer to build up the strength of your leg muscles, and learn how to walk more delicately so that the sticks in your legs don’t get so much damage from impact. It’s a slow walk, but you’re staying upright, and it feels like something you can maintain for while.

As you start getting back out in the world more, you do notice that everyone walks much faster than you. Most of the time it doesn’t bother you that much, but sometimes you’re walking somewhere with family, friends, or coworkers, and they’re just getting really impatient with how slow you are. Some times you take the time to explain about how you don’t have bones in your legs, and if you walk any faster you risk one or both of your legs breaking again. And they will make a sad face and say that they will wait for you to catch up, but no one ever slows down to match your pace for more than a few strides. So more often you just say you’re tired, and the other person responds, “oh, that’s too bad. I would wait for you, but I have to go run this 10K to support #NoLegBonesAwareness - you really should join next time, bye!”

The worst thing that happens, though, is when someone asks you, “have you thought about what would help you walk better?” And you want to scream at them, “Bitch, of course I have! I think about it all the fucking time! Having actual fucking bones in my goddamn legs would help!” But of course you can’t do that because at least they’re trying to understand that you have a problem that they don’t know how to fix, whereas everyone else is suggesting calcium and vitamin D supplements to help your non-existent bones grow. Or when they find out walking is difficult for you, they suggest jogging might be easier instead. Or perhaps flying? Have you tried flying?

And so you just keep walking along, mostly slowly, sometimes a little quicker, and sometimes really, really slow. And meanwhile your peers are getting married, buying houses, starting families, all the regular things society likes to celebrate. And one day you realize you’ve been walking for a really long time, years maybe, without breaking a leg, and it’s the first time in your life you’ve gone that long without a broken leg. And you know that’s a much harder and more difficult achievement than any degree anyone’s earned or promotion they got, and took so much more work. But there’s only about a half dozen people in the entire world that actually understand that, and you’re not close with any of them.

And while you’re thinking about that, you hear a sickening, yet familiar crunch.

That’s what it’s like to live with mental illness.

[practicumblogrr]

A Librarian’s Journey: From Teaching Romeo and Juliet to Teens to Navigating the New World of Public Libraries

October 22, 2024

Before taking the plunge in working in a public library, I never really saw myself as someone working this close to the public. Even less if you have told me I would be working directly with children who are both smaller and toddler size. Walking into Park Place Regional Library for my 87th hours counted, it still surprises me that I made it this far since this whole experience was new to all of us. I would argue that much of my experience has been amazing thanks to Christy and her mentor guidance she has provided me. Would I say I am able to run a full program with kids? Probably not, but I can be a good support to you if needed. Through this interview process, I not only learned more from my supervisor, but grasp a better understanding of what it is to be a librarian.

Coming off as a school librarian, have you thought about ways in combating the decline in the younger demographic that was affected by the pandemic and outside actions?

In general, from her experience in working with Houston ISD as their librarian at Chavez High School, it seems that the changes that are occurring has made it difficult to maintain a form of connection with the Houston Public Library. For this reason, an effort has been pushed to connect with other school districts to increase a connection with a younger audience. Aside from the outreaches that are being attempted when allowed by the schools, Christy has spoken about connecting with the school’s organizations in order to expand their materials such as books, media, and even a space to discuss such topics.

If there was anything that you would change or incorporate into the library system, what would it be?

Taken as more of a wishful thinking, considering how the library cornered itself with its current branding. Apparently when the new logo was created and paid for, one of the conditions was the super extreme ways in which the logo could not be used. For this reason, the library locations don’t have a social media presence as compared to their sister system Harris County Library system.  She believes that a push for more audience interaction would benefit the library in not only showcasing what they offer, but also increase its user interaction for future events. The big example that she was brought up was Wisconsin public library’s TikTok that has garnered a good number of viewers from not just the local area but also outside of the state. 

What kind of advice would you give someone who is currently working on their Library Science degree? 

Without any hesitation, the first remark coming out of her was essentially “get experience in a library”. It didn’t matter if it was a public library or an academic collection, try dipping your toes into different kind of institutions. The reason for this is to better understand how each role work with each other. Secondly, when it comes to public libraries, know that you’re working with city employees and librarians. It is important to remember this since both parties have different goals when it comes to the future of their branch. Lastly, learn to the art of programming. This is something that I notice many new librarians and archivists struggle with. We’re starting to see an emphasis in community development that is starting to require us to look into the type of age group and activities that can be included. This is very essential when attempting to receive more grant money or future funding. 

When looking into the program we assisted at Flores Neighborhood Library, how was it budgeted to bring the author to the event? 

When it comes to the development of an event, the most important part for it to have an author is try having it during the summer. Ironically enough, a lot of the grants that we rely on to pay our visiting authors requires us to have them during a certain time. This is mainly why you will see authors talk take place in the middle of the year. Aside from our reliance on grants, we also get a discounted rate when we work with the publishers. This can be with having the space for it and hosting the event or even by advertising it. Although there are rare cases in which an author would want to come in for free, we still want to respect their time and provide them with a stipend. 

Although it’s not something we look into considering we’re working with a larger organization, do you think it’s still important to look into the budget? 

Yes, although many managers, librarians, or supervisors, leave the numbers to the finance department I think you should be able to read the numbers in order to plan for the future of your events and library improvements. You be surprised the number of times I seen my peers over spend from the budget provided that affects them later when attempting to create a new program. I think in your case, you would benefit from it since it will open your skills in a management level. Remember, the finance department are the people you want to keep happy. 

You said before, “think for the betterment of the library”, what made you have this mentality?

Aside for my love for books, I just believe that much of our actions and plans when it come to libraries, they should aim in bettering it. This can be in assigning sections to your coworkers and shelf reading daily. Although you might not think much of it, you’re maintaining the catalog in more ways. Your actions help the sorters in finding requested items in a short amount of time. Our patrons learn to read the system and find their items. At the end of the day, the goal should always be to maintain a healthy library.  

            After the end of our interview and finishing shelving the remaining books, I realized a lot about my relationship with the library and my future. Yes, I would still like to be an archivist, but I also saw myself delving further as a youth librarian. Aside from having an awesome boss, it made me comfortable to expand my skills and even try new things. Am I going to pursue school librarianship? Probably not, since the state of that type of librarianship is under fire and probably will have more jobs cut. That aside, I hope with further shadowing, I am able to run my own program before the practicum ends.