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sleepiexx · 2 months ago

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The Sad Expression on the Face I Love So Much

Remus Lupin x fem!Reader

Note: one bad week and suddenly I’m a fic writing god again. Had a Sirius oneshot planned out and mostly written but I pumped this one out before I could think of an ending to that one so you’re getting this first!

Summary: Your boyfriend patiently awaits your arrival home after a day out with your friends, only to be met with your saddened form.

Warnings: describes what i would refer to as a panic attack, but it’s never expressed to be one

Word count: 1310

Remus was a good man, it was such a shame you couldn’t match his upbeat energy when you entered the door to your shared apartment.

He had heard the front door click open, which sparked a smile on his face. He never wanted to stop your outings with friends, as he knew having relationships with people other than your partner was important— his own friends the truest testament to that statement— yet he couldn’t help but miss you when the house was left without your presence. Which is why he was pleasantly surprised by your early arrival home, no waiting up late for his nightly cuddle tonight, no, rather a nice long cuddle with a movie in the background.

He called out to you as he stood from the couch, scrambling to make his way to the foyer, “you’re home early, darling, how was your day out?”

He stopped in his tracks when he saw you. Your frame stiff, eyes glued to the floor, clearly shined over with tears that have yet to be shed, keys still clutched in your hand, likely because you’d been too distraught to even reach up to put them on the key hook.

“Oh, sweet dear, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” His worried words and the safe environment he had provided made the tears finally fall. In an instant, he was in front of you, wrapping you in his arms. A pained sob ripped its way through your chest, you’d been holding it in far too long.

“My friends…” you began, having a hard time composing yourself to even say what was wrong.

Remus had a hunch what the problem was. He didn’t like your friends for a very specific reason, but he had always stayed firm in the fact that you were the judge in who you were friends with and it was really none of his business who you did and didn’t hang around. He knows he would not listen if you had said you didn’t want him spending time with his friends.

“I- I just… I’ve been really anxious this week,” You started to talk with the shakiest of voices. Remus could tell from the way your breaths started cutting you off that you were beginning to hyperventilate. He didn’t want to stop you from talking it out, though, so he led you to come and sit down beside him where he’d been on the couch before allowing you to continue.

“And irritable— and- and- and you know how I- how I spiral when I’m irritable, because- because I just think such mean thoughts, and- and I just hate myself,” your stutter only got worse the more you revealed, because speaking about it made you think about it, and thinking about it made breathing harder. Not to mention the sniffling you had to do every five seconds so you wouldn’t cover your upper lip in snot.

Remus held your hand, rubbing soothing circles overtop your knuckles and keeping his own breathing as steady as possible in hopes that you would eventually sync up. His free hand moved its way to your back, rubbing up and down.

“I just thought,” you sniffled, futility wiping your face with your sleeve as you continued to cry, “that maybe I’d f-feel- feel better if I went out with- with my friends but..” your lungs seized and your voice came out strained and cracked, “but no.”

You wanted to keep your breathing steady for Remus, but it proved impossible. Your diaphragm seemed to have a mind of its own as it contacted with no care whatsoever of your say so.

“They just kept- kept making that stupid joke,” your voice was drowned in a visceral sadness and a defeated anger, making evident to Remus how you’d held off on sharing your feelings for far too long.

He knew well what joke you were talking about. It never sat right with him, made him clench his fists every time he heard it. It took everything in him not to blow up on your poor excuse of a friend group. He’d played the diplomat with your friends as long as he possibly could.

“Where they-“ sniff. “Pretend that-“ sniff. “They hate me- but- but-“ sniff. “But they get away- get away with it because-“ sniff. “Because I’m such a pushover and- and I never call them ou- out on it.”

Another sob wracked your whole body, Remus pulled you into him, your cheek pressed to his chest as he made a valiant effort to calm you down with his soothing touches.

“I know- I know that I’m a lot-“ sob. “But I- I’m kind. I- I treat th-them good so- so why d-don’t I deserve the same?”

Remus felt his heart drop, holding you steady through what felt like, to you, endless sobbing. He had always thought that you deserved so much more than the friends you made, but he just thought you had a really thick skin towards the subject. Everyone has a breaking point, he supposed, and for his sweet girl, this seemed to be it.

“Oh dove,” he cooed, “of course you deserve better. You are not ‘a lot,’ you are true to yourself, if they don’t understand that then that is their problem. You do so much just for them to be so ungrateful.”

You buried yourself further into him, holding onto him tightly as though he were a buoy in a storm. You sat for a while like that, until you could speak without stuttering as much— still, your quiet voice hardly carried and the heartbroken rasp in it was a sound unlike any heartache Remus had ever experienced “I wish I could control myself sometimes. Just- just make myself shut up once in a while.”

Remus scoffed, “I don’t.”

You looked up at him through heavy lashes, “really?”

You looked as if even a small gust of wind would make you shatter, yet Remus would guard you from it all, wind, or storm, or even shitty friends who don’t appreciate you.

“Of course not, sweetheart, I love how genuine you are. It’s what made me fall for you. That, and how hard you love. I’ve never doubted myself for a second when I’ve been around you.” He brushed some stray hairs from your face, “I have never been able to stand your friends, they aren’t as kind to you as you are to them.”

You nodded. He knew that it would take a while before you fully believed it, but he was willing to shower you in love every day until you believed it. In fact, he was already planning on integrating you into his own friend group, James and Sirius adored you and he had no doubt they’d love the idea. Lily, Marlene, and Mary would all love you too, he knew for a fact that girls nights with them had to be more fun than with your old friends.

For now, though, he’d settle for the calm you’d finally achieved after talking your way through such an intense wave of emotions, he was proud.

“What do you say we go back to our room, have a cuddle, and watch your favorite movie?”

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“Yeah?”

You nod and repeat yourself as he cracks a grin.

You walk hip to hip to your bedroom until you’re finally able to sink into your bed. Remus hands you the tv remote before disappearing into the bathroom, returning with a soft, wet rag covered in makeup remover. Your cheeks seem to tingle as you remember the mess of mascara that must currently paint them, Remus doesn’t hesitate to come wipe you clean. When he’s done, he tosses the rag and leaves a chaste kiss on your nose.

“There,” he mutters, lying beside you and pulling you into his arms, “this is much better, isn’t it?”

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #marauders x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #the marauders #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fic #remus lupin fluff

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somereaderinblue · 5 months ago

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Random Ultraman Rising Moments I Loved

Decided to rewatch Ultraman Rising & I enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time. Thus, I've decided to compile a list of random moments that made me love the movie & its characters even more.

WARNING: SPOILERS UP AHEAD

(P.S. sorry for the lackluster screenshots ;p)

Ken's Intro

This one simple line already shows the audience Ken's empathy. Despite resenting his Ultraman responsibilities, he doesn't hate kaiju.

Ken's Childhood

This frame is full of adorable details. There's the obvious ones, like Ken wearing Ultraman & baseball merch, showing us that even before his relationship with his dad went sour, he already had a loyal love for the sport. We also see toy cars, a mecha & the BINGO bunny, all of which would be present in his base.

The Interview Intro

We see Ken getting the celebrity treatment & him wearing the celebrity mask. However, even the mask isn't malicious. He addresses the reporter by his name instead of the news station he's representing. When Ami tries to ask more personal questions unrelated to his baseball career, he doesn't get huffy or defensive at her. Instead, he reminds the crowd to remain civil & it isn't until she explicitly asks about his mom that he leaves.

People shouldn't expect rewards for basic decency, but I'm not against acknowledging acts of kindness & respect you don't often see in an environment as cutthroat as a celebrity interview.

Ken's 'Giants'

Imo, there's 2 ways for the term 'Giants' to be interpreted here.

(1) Ken is referring to Ultraman, & by extension his dad. One's a literal giant while the other is metaphorical, esp for kids.

(2) He's referring to the possibility of making friends. As he mentioned to Ami, he knows firsthand how 'kids will always talk', implying that he's been bullied & ostracized as a child, possibly due to his Japanese heritage or some other reason that's nonetheless soured Ken's perception of friendship.

Ken & Ami's 1-on-1s

Ngl, when I saw the trailers, I braced myself for the possibility that Ami would serve as Ken's possible love interest. However, that's not the case, which I'm grateful for. Still, that doesn't take away how interesting Ami is as a character.

Their first interview is set up beautifully. They're sitting face-to-face but there's a table between them. And then there's the way they present themselves.

Ken is dressed casually, practically oozing 'cocky young celebrity without a care in the world'. He's wearing sunglasses indoors, that also cover his eyes. It's a classic character design trope meant to make someone look stern, intimidating, stoic, reserved, closed-off from everyone.

Ami on the other hand is dressed professionally, as she takes her job seriously. But her glasses are transparent & not aesthetical. She has to be fair & objective, yes, but she also values honesty, transparency & empathy. Its these traits that make her a reliable person for Ken to turn to when he was struggling with parenting Emi.

Interview #2. They're sitting next to each other instead of opposite, but there's still a table between them. Still, this time Ken isn't wearing sunglasses & he's more put-together whereas Ami is dressed more casually. Ken has opened up to her & he wants to keep trying; she in turn meets him in the middle.

This culminates into the final interview. Unlike the previous times, it's clearly one that's broadcasted to the public. Despite this, Ken again, isn't wearing sunglasses or putting on an attitude. There's no table between them because this is the climax of Ken's character development: he's learned that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to show others that you're being vulnerable.

Ken's Comfort

When Ken's reminded of his inadequacy as Ultraman, he turns to the one thing that makes him happy: baseball. But he doesn't ask Mina to pull up videos of the crowd cheering or him winning; instead, he watches recordings of his mom, of the happy memories he shared with her. Yes, Ken has an ego. But underneath it all, he genuinely loves baseball because that sport is deeply tied to the love he has for his mom.

Not Gossip Hour

.....am I the only one who couldn't help but cheer Ami on when she called this guy out?

Prof. Sato's Cheer

Nobody, esp parents, should force their children to become someone they don't want to be. It's even more heartbreaking when both parties have little choice in the matter because of how necessary the duty is. Parents are flawed people, but I wouldn't call Prof. Sato a bad one.

Yes, he wants Ken to do better as Ultraman too. But he knows how much his son loves baseball & does support his achievements in them.

Mother's Corpse

Sometimes, a brief glance can convey a thousand words. In this brief glance, Ken doesn't see a defeated kaiju, he sees the corpse of a mother & he'll be damned if he lets the KDF add a baby's corpse to accompany her.

Mina is Awesome

A good plot is always appreciated but good characters are always loved & Mina isn't an exception. Let's hear it for the orb robots that always act as a voice of reason!!

But srsly, I love Mina. I love her wit, how her voice has that robotic yet motherly lilt, how she cares for Ken's wellbeing but isn't afraid to put her foot down to push him in the right direction.

In her final moments, she doesn't say 'you must/have to save her', she knows she doesn't have to. Instead, she tells him 'you can save her'. Sometimes, people are so focused on making sure others know what they have to do that they neglect to let them know that they believe they can accomplish it.

Onda's Humanity

Which brings me to another character I loved: the antagonist himself. Loved how they made him nuanced & sympathetic. Yes, he's ruthless, pragmatic & the 'end justifies the means' sort of person. However, unlike most military bad guy leaders, he cares for those under his command.

His screentime with Captain Aoshima is brief, but I enjoyed all of it. He doesn't berate Aoshima when he fails to capture Emi, nor does he lash out at him when he wavers in their mission. Instead, he encourages & empathizes with him.

Lots of fans speculate that Aoshima will have a more major role in a future sequel & I rlly hope that when the time comes, he'll be just as complex & engaging to watch as his predecessor had been.

"I Don't Know What To Do"

Kids are usually the target audience for Ultraman, but you cannot tell me this moment didn't hit home for parents. That moment where your child gets hurt because you looked away for a second; the first time your child falls ill & you wonder if a common cold will kill them before old age.

Whether you're a parent, older sibling or someone working in medical/childcare, having to say those 6 words will be the most devastating moment of your life. I'm certain that for Ken, it was nothing less.

Final Boss

Let it not be said that Ken doesn't know his final battle clichés.

#ultraman #ultraman rising #ultraman meta #everyday i see more and more ultraman rising content & smile #here's to hoping this amazing movie gets an equally amazing sequel!#ken sato #emi #ami watake

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vampirememory · 4 months ago

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quality ✧ do you need to lower or raise your standards? [Love PAC]

Hello! I believe this is my first pick a card of 2024, I hope you appreciate the topic I chose. This is something that I recently had to recognize and deal with myself, so hopefully you find this reading helpful.

Pick a photo or a number one through three and continue reading to find your reading.

One

No, absolutely not. If anything, your standards are too low. You are like me, at least myself a few weeks/months ago when I did not value myself. You need to understand that you are 100% valuable and loved, and that there is nothing that can depreciate your value. You may have been overconsuming readings, questioning as to why you continue getting into toxic relationships or completely lack a relationship and it's because you have a negative sense of self. Listening to self-worth or self concept subliminals may help you. You are worthy of a healthy, happy relationship but you need to be healthy yourself first. Now keep in mind, healthy does not mean without illnesses. I know from my experience with depression, I will never be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy outlook on life and a healthy sense of self, which is what you are looking for. Especially for my mentally ill friends, no one (not here, at least) is expecting you to be 100% healthy but to be as healthy as you can be, if that makes sense.

Two

Girlie, I hate to tell you but your standards are high as fuck. But is that a bad thing? You tell me. To be clear, when I say girlie I am 100% being gender neutral, this reading is for everyone ^-^! You're giving boss bitch energy, but are you actually a boss bitch? One thing about having high standards is that you also need to meet those standards yourself and you need to ask yourself "would someone like that want to date me"? For example, if you're really aiming for a basketball player or the top CEO, are you actually in a mental and physical space where that will happen? Are you out on the courts, networking and integrating yourself into sports environments? Are you working your way up to the top, making connections with higher ups and building a good reputation? I think you may have good standards, but you aren't reaching them yourself or not putting yourself in environments where you'll meet said person. Also make sure you are actually maintaining those standards too. If you think education is important, and you're actively in education and want someone else who is too, why settle for someone who hates education or isn't looking to educate themselves? Things like that make all the difference. If you want to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk too.

Three

This pile gives me much softer vibes than the other two piles. Your standards and romantic requests may be more traditional, you may want the house and the kids and the white picket fence and that's totally fine! I think you're doing well in terms of your standards, you uphold them and you aren't putting yourself in situations where you are with people who are against that dream or against those standards. I do need to warn you, however, that there are a lot of exploitive people out there, especially when it comes to wanting a more traditional homelife. Waiting is a completely fine thing to do. Don't jump at the first person that looks nice and ticks all the boxes because they may be lying. I don't see terrible things happening for you but I feel like I needed to include a warning. Just be careful and you'll get your wishes <3.

Thats all for today my friends! Check out my masterlist for my previous readings and remember to stay safe in this crazy world! Feel free to send asks with any topics you would like to see in the future.

#pick a card tarot #pick a card #pick a card reading #love tarot #free tarot reading #tarot readings #tarot reading #tarot #vampirememory #love pick a card

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genderqueerdykes · 1 year ago

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i understand they're not for everyone, but i do think a lot of people who are primarily exposed to queerness through online discourse would benefit from going to a queer bar and experiencing other queers having fun with each other in a distinctly queer way. i had been looking to attend a kink night at a queer bar for a while, and I finally got to go to one last night, and i'm very glad that i did. I was fortunate that the bar I went to had CBD drinks, so I could enjoy myself despite not being able to drink alcohol

there was an old woman with a rollator who set up at a table right next to the stage with free candy and snacks for everyone, but especially for the drag performers. I found that a lot of people there ended up calling her mom. she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to get home safe as I was leaving. she told me she'd see me next weekend, see was there every week.

there were adults of all ages there it was an underwear & animal play night, and the house was busy. drag queens and kings, bears, pups, bunnies, cats, leather people and all kinds of vanilla folks showed up. people in collars and harnesses, in jockstraps and leather briefs, on leashes, being lead around on their hands and knees. there were drag performances all throughout the nights and some of the queens included BDSM elements into their performances

i spent the night dancing with the leather puppy boys including an FTM pup who became my friend, some extremely cute old men with white hair and glittery shorts, a middle aged asian man in tiny black undies who really got into the music, an older man who looked like Freddie Mercury who was wearing tiny undies with pink straps and tall pink pumps, a lesbian couple who were fiercely making out most of the night, and a very tall person wearing a shirt that said "stay queer as fuck" with glittery rhinestoned shoes.

i saw a lot of people who were unafraid to be themselves. a lot of people who were willing to show this small slice of the world who they are, their authentic self, no matter what that meant. no one did anything that invaded my boundaries by being their authentic selves. others being loud and proud about themselves didn't drown me out. i felt more like it was okay to be who i was, too. dancing with the pups helped me realize that i'm ready to get into pup play, after questioning if it was for me for years. the exposure was healthy, it's hard to know certain things for sure until you actually put yourself out there

it's not an environment for everyone, i get that. but in whatever ways you can find it exposure to other queers in person is lifesaving, especially when you are having fun. sitting and meeting with each other and discussing what it means to be queer is important, but having fun together in a queer way is literally vital to our health and well being. just talking about being queer all the time won't nourish your soul. experiencing queer fun is necessary, especially when it comes to adults. we're need to and are allowed to have fun with each other in a distinctly queer way. it's important to embrace it when and where possible, in whatever ways make sense for you.

you'll feel a lot less self conscious when you see other people happily flying their freak flag, too

#our writing #about us

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f1fnatic · 1 year ago

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SCRUTINY ⤿ f1 grid

→ ( in which. . . ) you are a woman on the f1 grid. you face criticism and digs almost every day from toxic fans, specifically the men. but, you shut them up after a rewarding race.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) written

→ ( pairing. . . ) 2023 f1 grid x female!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) cyberbullying, misogyny, sexism/sexist comments, overall a shitty environment. not based on this year's monaco grand prix or the season so far just has the drivers of this year's grid at this moment except alonso he is a reserve for aston martin, jumps around a little, not a completely solid plot, other pilots make subtle mentions, but mainly reader focused.

→ ( author's note. . . ) i enjoyed writing this one a lot. with being a woman myself and seeing how we are perceived in sports, especially a male-dominated field like motorsport, it was not very difficult to keep writing. anyways, i hope you enjoy! see end for more.

→ ( masterlist )

sunday, pre-race interview ↴

scrutiny. a word that you are familiar with. a word that has so much meaning but so little at the same time. you had recently joined your dream team, aston martin. after a challenging run in f3 and f2, you finally got recognized for your talent. you knew the comments would only get worse as you moved up the ranks, but you didn't expect them to be this bad.

it was the monaco grand prix. your least favorite track to race. the tight corners haunted you. without fail, you always almost crashed and cost your team everything. but it mainly cost you your dignity.

you were sat along a crisp white sofa that sat your teammate lance stroll, along with charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, lando norris, daniel ricciardo, and lastly max verstappen. you had all become acquainted when you first got to f1. lance and you got along swell and were close to inseparable. the rest were like brothers to you. these types of conferences were your personal least favorite. you enjoyed being with your friends, but the questions that were asked were downright embarrassing.

"y/n, coming over to you." the interviewer voiced, all attention was shifted onto you. "monaco in the past years has not treated you well, do you think you will have another devastating grand prix? and do you think your difference has to do with your performance?" you felt the scoff bubble in your throat. was he serious? you knew what he was playing at. your difference being your gender.

"well, first of all, i do not think my quote en quote 'difference' has anything to do with my performance." you start, putting finger quotes to emphasize the word difference. "if anything, it would be a difference in the car. in past monaco grand prix's the aston martin car has struggled. there are no real straights for the car to get its usual speed from. the differences in the care have nothing to do with me as a driver." this was unbelievable. were they really questioning whether you could hold your own as a woman in motorsport?

"you are starting p7 in today's race. do you think you performed well enough in qualifying? what could you have done differently?" finally. a normal question. you were excited to answer.

"uh, yeah. i think considering the conditions in qualifying and the nature of the track i did well. i am happy with how i performed but there is always room for improvement. and i am open to that." you answered, smiling. you looked over to lewis and saw him smiling at you. he knew how the media worked. he himself was getting pushed under the bus with racist remarks and 'concern' around his piercings. he was always supportive of you, and you were supportive of him. there were often times when you would text or call him ranting about how unfair it was that you were being treated the way you were. he would join in with his own stories and you would listen.

"y/n, i am sure you have seen the scrutiny online about being a woman competing in the pinnacle of motorsport. do you believe you should be here competing with men?" another reporter asks.

you are stunned. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"are you serious?" lance scoffs beside you. "what is with these questions?"

"why do we get questions about normal things like our literal jobs and y/n's questions are always about her gender?" daniel adds. the couch breaks out in murmurs. the reporters visibly get uncomfortable with what has happened and end the interview.

standing up you walk out of the office and to your drivers room, ignorning the voices calling after you. these interviews were always bullshit. daniel was right, why were you always getting questioned about your gender and how that effects your performance? what does gender have to do with racing?

this was only the beginning.

sunday, day of monaco grand prix ↴

you were exhausted. exhausted by the comments, the bullshit interviews, and the stupid prick men that felt the need to voice their opinion about a woman in f1.

you could this year's grand prix was going to be a tough one. mentally and physically. you wanted to be done. done with the bullying, the sexism, the misogyny, everything. you knew you worked hard to get where you are, and you will continue to. you dreaded the after-race interviews. no matter your result, you would always get at least 4 sexist remarks.

you didn't know what else you needed to do to be able to prove yourself worthy of your seat. you shouldn't have to prove yourself anymore than you have. you are in f1, and all of these assholes are not.

your pr manager, bless his soul, had to listen to your rants after interviews. lewis always got brunt end of it as well. he had experience with degradating comments. he always knew what to say and when to say it. fernando has been a huge help as well. he was like a father to you, always there when you needed someone. he would defend you when you needed defending. he always knew what to say and when to say it.

race start, p7 ↴

p7 was not a bad place to start, at all. but the internet and crowd thought differently. you were sat in your car, ready for the formation lap when someone yelled at you, "c'mon pretty lady! get back to cleaning! this is a man's sport!" you resisted the urge to quip back at him, instead you raised your left hand and flipped him off. your pr manager would have your head later but you couldn't care less. you needed to do something to voice your annoyance.

concentration is what you needed, but you couldn't seem to gain it with more comments being shouted your way. "hot momma!" followed by a cat call whistle, "sweetheart take off that suit! let's see what's underneath!", "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS JOB!" were only some of the handfuls thrown at you. they also seemed to be the ones that bothered you the most. your grip on your steering wheel tightened, anger bubbling in your gut. these people knew nothing. they don't know how hard you work. they don't know how much blood, sweat, and tears you poured into achieving your dream. and they never would.

before you knew it, the formation lap started. it went quickly. you got back into your respective starting positions and stared down the lights. you took a deep breath to attempt to ground yourself. it is just a race, you have done this before y/n.

the lights lit up red, until they didn't. you flew forward in your aston martin, pushing it for a decent start. you ended up gaining two positions, going from p7 to p5. the rest of the race was uneventful, until it wasn't.

"y/n, caution on the chicane. hamilton, perez, and leclerc crashed. yellow flag, safety car." your race engineer voiced over the radio. "that moves you into a fortunate p2."

"okay, copy." you were ecstatic. this was your chance to prove yourself to everyone. to those men who scrutinized you before the formation lap, to the trolls online, and to those misogynistic pricks known as reporters. this was your moment.

"gap to verstappen 1.6 seconds, push." you did as you were told. you pushed, and you pushed hard. this was for all of the girls that wanted to be you. "oh my days y/n! p1! p1! you just won the monaco grand prix!"

"yes! oh my god! fuck me! we did it!" you had done it.

you did your victory lap and parked behind the p1 tower. when you got out of your seat tears stung at your eyes. you ran over to where the aston martin team was and hugged them over the barrier. team members were banging on your helmet. lance had managed p2 and came up behind you and hugged you, along with the team.

the podium was a blur. you could not describe the emotions you were feeling. pride, excitement, and most of all, happiness were swirling within you. you stood tall as aston martin's anthem played and even taller when yours sounded shortly after. the champagne spray was the best part. carelessly spraying lance as giggles sounded on the podium. you also sprayed your team below, this would not have been possible without them. you would never forget this moment. it is forever engraved into your mind.

this was it, this was what you needed to prove them all wrong.

not feeling super happy w this one. i like the beginning but i feel it gets away from me in the middle and end. feedback and requests are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well, only if u want to tho! lmk if you like it :)

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gerardpilled · 1 year ago

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I want to say thanks for acknowledging and being critical of racism done by MCR band members and racism in the scene in general. I just recently got into MCR a year ago on a deeper scale and I have found many things off putting and kind of yikes. It's nice seeing someone who is critical of what the band members have done in the past and not excusing them and addressing that it was an issue as a whole. I used to be very hateful towards Lindsey but now I realize that it would be hypocritical (I still do not like MSI just due to it not being my taste in music and I don't care for that shock value type lyrics). I was wondering if you know any resources that talk more about racism in the scene? It's something I'd like to know more about

Oh it’s no problem! Thank you for thanking me, but I don’t see myself as doing anything special. I was raised in an environment where I was fortunate enough to be around people and friends who have made me aware of implicit racism -from my self and others- since an early age. Hearing “well, that’s cause you’re white” is a playful joke but it also made me aware of stuff! Just from what I’ve seen in recent years, the shortcomings of white people who are the focus of fandom are often ignored. There’s nothing wrong with pointing out a racist thing your fave said or did because it doesn’t necessarily make them A Racist™️ (sometimes it can). It also helps people recognize the issues before they get worse. POC aren’t a monolith - there are plenty of things disagreed on amongst any community - but there are definitely over arching sentiments.

Anyway, I’m basically just reiterating a bunch of talking points made by poc on here. As for further reading, I feel like the best sources for me have been mutuals’ posts. First hand stories. Being receptive when people share how certain things make them feel. Racism in this particular scene is also sort of a new and emerging topic as the people who lived through the heart of it are just now reaching authorship age. I look forward to seeing what comes out in the next few years.

What I have right now:

My Chemical Relaxer - a short autobiographical story about growing up Black and emo

News story about how the current state of hardcore is looking much more diverse

Sing It Zine - zine made by fanartists a few years ago!! It’s great, I bought a digital copy myself. It’s filled with art and short essays about how it felt to grow up in a scene that often ignored non white people. Also a bunch of tumblr users participated, so it offers a great follow list if you’re interested.

If anyone else has any suggestions, add them in a reblog, or send them and I’ll do it!

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sarahivi · 29 days ago

Text

youtube

This is a loong interview, i'll try to translate some parts

Min 0:00 - 8:12

Pati – In This occasion I have the huge privilege that in front of me is one of the most important actors in the last decades in this country and I’m talking about Tenoch Huerta. Welcome to the YouTube channel, thank you so much for being here, however only few people know that your first job after you finished the career of journalism in UNAM was of cameramen here in Azteca, how did you get here?

Tenoch – That’s right, some friends, well I was learning in a cable channel and some friend came here, the calls were opened for “La academia” and I came here as cameramen, and it has been one of the funniest experiences in my life

P – Really, why?

T – I loved it, I loved the camera, in fact I have thought if I wasn’t an actor I would have end up as camera director or film photographer

P – But you decided to be in front of the screen, it was to please your dad or because truly the interest of being an actor was born in you

T – Taking the classes was a little so my dad stopped bothering me ,truly, cause it wasn’t to “please him”, my parents are more like do whatever you want as long it makes you happy, so it was so he stopped bothering me, but I liked it and I remember that once I asked him, why you insisted so much? and he told me, because I saw something in you, and I was satisfied with his answer, above all the first part “I saw you” my dad was looking at me and it was like, lovely my dad has always been looking at me and with that I was saved of a lot of traumas and a lot of money from therapy

P – but I don’t think you save money because I heard that you are in therapy

T – Yes, usually I go to therapy, it is a personal discipline, but now it has had to be a little stronger

P – Why?

T – because dragging a lot of topics, evidently everything that happened to me in the last couple of years, are situations of a lot of stress, because not only hits you, it hits your entire family environment.

P – We are talking about Miss Rios case?

T – Yes, because with this accusations my life, my career and my work and family environment were affected, and the hardest part is when you face a lie , when there is a lie, when there are inaccurate data, and the worst part of a lie is not the lie itself, A totally fictitious construction, but when you take elements that are real and misrepresent them and move them so they can fit with things , that's the worst part because even the person that is receiving the attack, in this case myself, it puts you in a state of alert, confusion, pain, you question yourself a lot of things, even there is a self-punishment, a lot of thing mixing and for that you need a therapy

P – What kind of relationship you had with her?

T – we were colleagues in Poder Prieto, I admired her, I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her, then we attended an event, some collectives were invited and we met there, that’s when we started to get close and at first she seems like a fun girl, very strong, very attractive too and that’s it, the relationship was always like a relationship that was not exclusive

P – An open relationship

T – An open relationship yes

P – So you had relations but you both could have other relationships

T – Yes, even that, I mean in all groups there are other groups of closer friends, in this group of closer friends she told us that she was seeing other people, which it was ok, I too saw other people, there was no problem, simply maybe it was something that we should have talked more precisely, put labels

P – Exactly

T – It could be that, but anyway, not putting labels doesn’t give you the right to destroy a person's life, so that was the kind of relationship, it lasted a few months until there started to be some attitudes, more aggressive.

P – From her?

T – Yes, there was a moment where I got closer to a colleague that is my age, we saw the same cartoons when we were kids and it was fun to talk, and she didn’t like it even if this colleague was only a friend, also it was a friend of hers, and this kind of frictions started to show a weird behavior from her, until she started to attack me within the collective

P – So first was an attack, let’s say in relation with the person within the collective, without posting it on twitter nor social media

T – Nothing, and that’s when I talked to her, we met in a park and in this conversation that we had, she suddenly told me, we were talking and suddenly told me “ ok enough, what are you willing to give to calm all of this?” and I told her, a public apology if you want , I can talk with the people, I don’t know you tell me , I thought that we didn’t have a problem, simply we should have talked more, I don’t know but whatever you say and that was it, some time later when everything exploded and I’m in a huge stressful moment, I had a reunion with some friends, I met a person, that maybe by fate he was sitting next to me and he is a therapist specialized in supporting families that are victims of extortion and kidnaps , so in the conversation the topic arose , I told him and he said, in my experience that was an extortion, the “what are you willing to give?” and I told him “ she didn’t ask for money” and he told me, no, the professionals are very subtle , anyway he didn’t know my case in detail, so I simply took it from there, then time passed, we found some information, the lawyers started investigating, we realized that indeed there were shady things of which I cannot point directly to someone because it will be doing the same that was done to me, I only can say that there are proof that are verifiable, file numbers, and that’s the job of the authority to get to the bottom of those affairs that have years, there are files that have more than 10 years

Update 8:12 - 20:32mins

P – What were the legal actions that you took

T – Legal actions, first I got a solid lawyers team in different stages, a 1st stage was a team of lawyers then a 2nd stage another team of lawyers even in USA, 1st the lawyers, they gatherd information , but also put some legal mechanisms of which I can not talk about but are legal mechanisms that are activated that are carried out, that are like a kind of, I don't know what to really call it, it's like a kind of antecedent, like putting a warning, like that there is a record that this is happening those actions have been carried out, but more important we have been monitoring this last year, 2 years, every week if there is something against me if there is a lawsuit, a complaint, something

P – She has not raise a complaint

T – No one, there is nothing against me , I don’t even have traffic violations.

P – Tenoch, what happen with you when suddenly in social media they are lynching you?

T – Is painful, is scary because once someone filter information about my daughters, with pictures and more , and in anonymity is hard to track , when the lynching started, from real people , bots, troll and more they start to attack my family , we received some direct threats that threatened the integrity of members of my family, and things of that kind so you put yourself in a state of permanent alert, you can’t let your guard down , and as i told my team, is like carrying a dragon breathing in your ear all the time , that you don’t know what might happen because with the topic of anonymous complaints you can take advantage of that, I understand where is coming from, I understand from the desperation of a lot of people that cannot achieve justice for many reasons sometimes they are only left with this, then there is a whole system that favors the men that provokes that people have to resort to this methods that at the beginning might sound good that I even say that, yes they are there for something but when you take advantage of them, you start to use it for personal purposes, politics, economic, electoral or to have better jobs, is when it start to be a problem, because is public, there is no need to prove anything there is non an authority to tell you , mr please you came to make an accusation, if you don’t show proof doesn’t proceed and if does not proceed you are affecting this person , those mechanisms doesn’t exist in social media, simply people believes it or not and that’s it, it’s over, there is no contrast, there is not a method to see if this works, to see if this is real or not and that’s the problem, I think the problem, not talking about my case, talking in general that i also want to clarify that I’d like that my case is not used to demerit the feminist movement,

P – Those are different things

T – Absolutely, and I’m glad that you are saying it, because it comes from a woman and it’s ok, and are different things, the feminist fight and the media lynching are 2 different things that’s why I don’t want that my case is taken to demerit the other, also I understand the reason why there are anonymous complaints and public complaints , but there are not regulated

P – they are not valid

T – they are not valid, and they are being used for other purposes , I think there should be another protocol , I don’t know, for example in usa to make a complaint first I have to have a formal complaint or lawsuit before the authorities, and then with my file in hand I can make a public complaint, not here in Mexico, here in Mexico you made the public complaint and if someone believes in you good and if they don’t too. I think those are the topics that are complicated and for me it was not only the personal impact, you get used to it and you take it and you say, well I’ll take care of it, the problem is when you see that your family

P – How old are your daugthers?

T – 4 and 11

P – They are so young

T – Yes, the older one had 9 and the younger one had 2, fortunately the younger one doesn’t know yet a lot of things, but the older one yes and that is so painful, also my parents,

P – They have suffered

T - *nods* my sisters

P – You being a man, this situation affected how you approach other women?

T – Yes, it affects, undoubtedly, but I’m not of the idea that things happen for a reason, I believe that things happen and you give them a reason and you take the lesson and learn from it, so the way it affected is that I tried to approach in a better way, be more careful and more selective, not everyone deserves our heart , not everyone deserves our vulnerability, not everyone deserved that we are open with them, not everyone deserves it, you have to take the time to know the person and now I’m more careful, more selective, but now I’m more clear, I have always been clear with people, I have always been like “I’m here to work, we are going to be here 2 months it might something happen between us, maybe not” you know, I have always been clear, now I’m more clear , now I’m more straight and basically I stopped interacting with many people, I’m scared that’s a reality

P – Is natural

T – there’s this alert of get to know the people little by little, I don’t interact further than a friendship ,for example at the moment I don’t have a partner , It is not my intention to have a partner in the medium or perhaps in the long term, but that’s it I have to be more careful, and yes it changes everything , changes your vision, but I believe , the people you interact with is reduced, but those relations are more rich, more profound, more beautiful, at least that’s what I have been trying to work with my therapist

P – at this moment this affected your career in a devastating way

T – Look, there were 2 things, I don’t know if I should say “fortunately” but during this period there was a strike in USA, most of my work is in USA, so is not like I was able to work anyway and the strike ended 10 months after the scandal, so anyway I didn’t had the chance to work so there was not too much problem, but once the strike is over and things started to re-activate, above all in Mexico, it becomes complicated for me , because this scares and puts in alert to producers, platforms, brands and more, even events, events that commonly actors are invited, they start to put some distance, but I don’t feel that is a distance of rejection, but more like a distance of alert, like saying look we don’t have any problem with you but solve this, the thing is to solve this topic, when we start to get the information it was like wait, here are shady things.

P – Let’s say when the bomb exploded, did you had the chance to talk with miss Rios?

T – the first time that she talked within the group, yes, I talked to her

P – But when it exploded on the internet?

T – When, the first, let’s say the first time that she talked publicly it was a week and a half, a week after I had a reunion with the president in the national palace, then when that happened it was like , wait, 2 or 3 weeks before you just sent me a beautiful message telling me that you loved me, that you admired me , that you were glad that we met she told me beautiful things in that message, after, I was in the period of interviews, tours and more (note: this was during the time of BPWF press tour) when I go back to normal, I met the president and 10 days after this appears and it was like wow, so the last communication I had with her was like “what happened?” and her replies were very aggressive, so I called the lawyers and they told me “zero contact, we understand that you want to fix things, we understand that she is important to you but us as lawyers we have to tell you that this , this cannot be fixed in a personal way, you have to stop here because from now you have to think that this person is dedicated to harm you” , we didn’t understood yet what kind of harm , that came after, when information starts coming and it was like ah! So there are bad intentions

P – at this moment you feel that you are restarting your career?

T – Yes, but not only the career, the life as well, everything and I feel , it might sound weird but I’m feeling positive, happy, and above all I feel with a lot of energy like with euphoria to start my life you know, I have always had a beautiful relationship with my daughters, but now the teenager is now a little person a little adult , with her my relationship has become super endearing, the little one always had mamitis (Mexican expression for wanting to be only with the mother) and now she has papitis (same with mamitis but with the father) so you know that

P – You spend much time with them?

T – Yes

P – You live together

T – No but the older ones is one week with me and one week with her mother

P – Are they from different mothers?

T – Yes, and the little one, she was born during the pandemic, her mother and I didn’t have anything else to do so we put ourselves to…. Kisses to her mom, she is a beauty

P – You live with her?

#tenoch huerta #Youtube

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dragonfly0808 · 5 months ago

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college advice? i’m starting in the fall 😭

oh FUCK

Kay, so, I’m no professional here but I am about to pass into my 6th semester, so will hopefully soon be wrapping up my 3rd year of college so here’s some of advice

First off, go in the mornings, if you have a chance to do your schedule, go in the morning, it’s so fucking heavy to have to go in the evenings, did that once, never again

try to find a website or blog where students can give teachers reviews, these exist for most colleges and while it can be very hard to build your schedule based on the best teachers and I wouldn’t recommend doing that, it can help you be mentally prepared and know what each teacher values most ahead of time

always have smth to entertain yourself. You WILL have teachers who don’t show up or constantly cancel classes and while its fun using that time to catch up with friends, you should take a book or smth with you to keep yourself entertained during down time

if you have AFI’s (I have no fucking clue what they’re called in english but they’re activities, conferences, talks, outings, stuff like that) check how many you can do per semester and keep up with them, don’t leave them till last minute. For example, I need 14 to finish my career and can do up till 4 valid ones per semester but can only do them till my 7th semester. So check on that if you do have them as a requirement as well

Make sure you check out every part of your campus to know the best hangout spots. This is mostly just for yourself and to not get lost.

Hang out at your library if you have one, check out what they have even if you don’t particularly plan to use that many books, it can help motivate you and find more passion for your career if you’re feeling down or having doubts.

learn how to properly reference articles (perplexity is a great tool to find references)

make sure the teachers at least recognize you and, I would recommend to limit yourself to a certain number of classes you can miss. I try to limit myself to skip 3 classes from each teacher and try to not miss at all, the teachers recognizing me as someone who always goes has given me second chances and opportunities for extra points.

ALWAYS DO OPTIONAL PROJECTS FOR EXTRA POINTS, even if you feel confident in the subject, better to be safe than sorry

carry a cardigan or a light sweater and a small umbrella. You never know what teacher is gonna put the AC like it’s antartica and an umbrella can save you from sunburns and unexpected rain

carry headache pills or any medication you use semi-frequently, also a small utensils kit cause who likes using disposable utensils when you can carry your own + it’s better for the environment, also a hair tie

have an ‘emergency kit’, I have one that barely takes up a lot of space in my backpack and I am just now having to refill it 5 semesters in, I have mini deodorant, a small toothbrush/toothpaste I’ve never actually used, mini wet wipes, mini hand sanitizer, mini perfume, mini brush, toilet paper, band-aids, pads and kleenex.

^ these last 3 are cause my mama taught me to always be prepared and cause I personally can be a bit paranoid, I’m the mom-friend who always has anything anyone could ever need :) so those are according to the type of person you are. I also carry an UNO card game for when multiple teachers cancel on us (yes my backpack is very heavy but the paranoia can’t catch me if I’m prepared)

If you’re propense to low-sugar do NOT skip breakfast and try to carry a small snack, or in general always carry a small snack

if your career involves having to go to the laboratory, LISTEN TO THE INTERNS/LAB ASSISTANTS, half the time, they’ll know more than the teacher

remember, when it comes to group projects, you don’t have friends, you have classmates. Someone can be a great friend but an awful classmate and I am not risking a grade over a lazy friend, prepare yourself to separate those 2

try to figure out what to listen to when doing hw or studying, me personally, classical music (specifically cello music from the barroque period) really helps me focus

ALWAYS DO YOUR HOMEWORK, those are some of the easiest points to get

Finally, don’t be afraid to decorate your backpack! One of the funnest things of college to me (cause I was at a strict school for middle school and spent highschool in pandemic) has been to decorate my backpack with pins!

I’ve found a great thing about college is that genuienly no one cares about your interests and you can freely express yourself without fear of being bullied or ridiculed. Everyone is far too tired or focused to care. At least that has been my experience so far, be ridiculous if you like

I have ATLA pins, an asexual flag, spider-gwen, a matching carebear with my bestie, the school mascot and a dinasour (still looking for a winx pin)

I think that’s all I can come up with for now, so yeah, hope this helps and best of luck bestie!

#college life #college #I’ve been doing this far too long #Can yall tell im paranoid?#winx club #college advice

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wilcze-kudly · 1 month ago

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Suyin wasn't "coerced" to commit a crime, neither did she want to take herself out of the situation. She wanted to get her friends out of paying for their crimes because she's spoiled and entitled.

She didn't "have" to travel the world, she was sent to family members to take her away from a criminal and endangering environment, and she decided to escape because she's too much of a pick me girl to stay with the so called family "that didn't show her affection". To be honest, you speak of her as some kind of adult avatar-styled Rapunzel, instead of a teenager who deserved to be reprimanded.

She did turn her life around, and kudos to the creators for showing that. No one can say that her story and background is boring by any chance.

She, however, is not the most likeable character out there to a big part of the fandom, but I seriously doubt someone is taking it as seriously as you seem to do. Just chill.

Istg this happens almost everytime I post something mildly touching on the fact that Suyin deserves compassion too. Though you may be the same anon who blew up my inbox a while back so it might just be you.

I've always found the disdain we have for "troubled teens" upsetting because usually, when a teenager "acts out", there's more of a reason behind it that just "ooh they're spoilt or entitled".

[Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal ideation mentions]

Like, I was a very difficult teen back in the day. I argued with my parents, even got into physical altercations, skipped school, ran away from home at night. I was also going through a severe depression, dealing with a shitton of childhood trauma, cutting on the regular and making multiple attempts on my life. Hell, if my parents had brushed me off as "a kid who needs to be disciplined" I probably would've killed myself at 14. It doesn't excuse me for punching my dad in the stomach when he was just trying to stop me from running away into the night but it doesn't mean I didn't deserve help.

[End of Trigger Warning]

These two things can be correct at the same time. Suyin can have done a shitty thing that deserves reprimand and that she needs help that she seemingly had to find on her own. But like, guess which of these two is almost exclusively focused on.

And I mean, it's totally not like the Avatar fandom has a habit of expressing extreme hate towards young girls (especially young girls of colour) making sub optimal choices or just beind "annoying". I've just never seen that before.

Suyin grew up with Toph, who Lin herself has described like this:

Suyin : No, no. My children are a blessing. Lin: Yeah, mom used to say that too, but she never meant it.

Which btw, still an incredibly hillarious thing to say in front of Suyin's children: "Hi kids I'm your aunt Lin and your mother is lying about loving you"

While Suyin has, as a child, expressed doubt that Toph would even care that she's skipping school. And as an adult, she has described her childhood with Lin as "competing for their mother's affection" and still has doubts whether or not her mother is happy with how either of them turned out.

Hell, even though Su and Toph have been said to have made up, Toph still maintains a heavy layer of distance between them, seemingly dissappearing for years at a time!

It's honestly sad how Suyin hugs Toph and puts up statues of her everywhere in Zaofu and yet Toph still just fucked off to the swamp when Opal was probably less then ten and did not contact them.

I mean, sounds like there's not a lot of motherly affection going on there, dude. Idk what to tell ya. We know there were no fathers around either.

And Lin was also a victim of this environment, so I don't really want this to come off as me blaming her for the way she acted towards Su. But Lin is hardly what I would call affectionate.

So of course Suyin would put so much stock in her relationships outside the house. And her friends happened to be fucking criminals fucking hell. And of course Lin, being a kid too did not know how to approach this situation properly, so she inadvertently just pushed Suyin closer to them by insulting them and making her feel defensive.

Because that's what all fucking teens do. The internalise things, they rely on their peers to form their perception of things and they want to be independent. So when someone, especially someone who isn't a parent tries to control them, guess how they'll react? They dig their heels in. Especially a teen like Suyin who has virtually no reason to listen to her older sister other than a vague "I know better than you" type of vibe which really pisses teens off. That's like the time when talking down to them is the worst thing to do.

And fuck off with saying getting arrested and screamed at by your sister in the middle of the road isn't a stressful situation that you wolud wanna get out of. Lin punched a car so hard it dented! (Especially that Lin has already been confirmed to use her status as a police officer against people she has a vendetta against, like when SHE TRIED TO THROW PEMA IN JAIL FOR STEALING HER MANS like how tf did we brush over that)

What I always find interesting in this scene is the front that Su puts on in front of Lin, which slips up a few times, particularly when Lin can't see her expression. Because Suyin is, of course being a fucking brat and taunting Lin, but you can clearly see that she's stressed out.

Suyin also describing the reason she helped her friends as a getaway driver is something I find interesting:

Suyin: I didn't steal anything. I just drove the car. I owed my friends a favor. It's not a big deal.

Of course she's scared and minimising her involvement but the usage of "owing her friends" could very easily imply her not exactly being too hyped about this, as well as her insistence on not stealing anything.

Because the thing about Suyin is that, especially in the flashbacks, we see her only in Lin's PoV. We don't see her relationship with her friends, what led up to the robbery, anything. Which makes sense, because the flashbacks are supposed to be Lin's. But that means we're viewing Su with the inherent bias of Lin, who clearly has an agenda against Su.

Lin clearly blames Suyin for Toph leaving policework, despite us later seeing how burnt out and cynical Toph was about being a cop. Its more likely that Su's arrest was a wake-up call for Toph, but she left due to the buildup of stress and disillusionment and Lin, who has been idolising her mother and her mother's career blamed it on Suyin in her head.

Hell, even they made up, Lin still immediately pivots to accusing Suyin of being involved in the Red Lotus' attack. Despite the attack placing Suyin's life, the lives of her sons and the lives of her guards at risk and Suyin going out of her way to thwart it.

And Suyin's life is just a fucking mess after this point like: betrayal by close friend, daughter kidnapped by terrorists, anarchy in the kingdom, leaders of 2 foreign governments trying to pressure her into subjugating the people in the name of a monarch she doesn't support, betrayal part 2; child boogaloo, the country she lives in being declared a dictatorship, city under literal siege, threat of attack in 24 hours, the fucking Avatar doing fuck all to help, a desperate attempt at assassinating the leader, getting caught and placed in questionably humane restraints, having to watch her daughter be forced to flee, PUBKIC HUMILIATION, the arrest of her non combative son and husbandd, INHUMANE JAIL CELL...

Do I need to go on? Like the moment the Krew came to her gouse her life just started to fucking fall apart its actually kinda hillarious.

And calling Suyin a "pick me" is just... unfounded? Who's she trying to get picked by? Her mom who doesn't love her? Girlie just wanted a family she literally said so in the show, put your listening ears on, babes.

I understand that Suyin isn't the most likeable character to people. I can understand why they dislike her. She can be annoying, hypocritical, rash, the poor structuring of the episodes around her and Lin makes it so she gets unearned favour from the writers etc. People who like Lin and Kuvira, two extremely popular characters in the fandom have an easy villain in their faves' lives if they just tweak Suyin a bit.

But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to dislike her too or that I'm not allowed to post about her in a way that doesn't allign with the fandom's narrative of her. You're not obligated to read it, hun, you can block the #pro suyin beifong tag if it makes you that upset to see me

I want to appreciate parts of Suyin which aren't highlighted by the fandom and I'm allowed to do that. Just because it doesn't fit with your clearly overtly negative opion of the character well, tough luck. And hey, I gladly take the opportunity to talk about Suyin, but I've also made a ridiculous amount of posts around har and have probably addressed almost every single fandom complaint of her at some point so I'm starting to get a little tired of repeating myself lol.

And I'll be the first to admit, my own teenage years probably heavily affect how compassionate I am towards Suyin, particularly in her younger years. But I know how much people hate "troubled teens", how little compassion thet are given.

The narrative that if a misbehaving teenager just gets deisciplined and reprimanded enough they'll stop being "spoilt and entitled" or acting out is wrong and harmful. It hurts tons of teenagers by not getting them the help they need and it would've fucking killed me.

Also hun, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I tend to use hyperbole a lot. I'm a dramatic bitch. Like did you also think I was serious when I said I'd shoot myself if I saw another ad for Amazon's shit lotr wannabe show?

Tbh everytime I get an ask like this I vaguely consider doubling down and commiting to the bit of being the fandom's "Lin Beifong hater". Though I feel like a lot of people wouldn't realise its a bit and think I actually hate her for real lol.

#unscripted quill traumadump yay 🥳🥳🥳#avatar fandom when a teenage girl with skin thay is not white as snow does something imperfect: and I took that personally #suyin beifong #pro suyin beifong #lin beifong #toph #toph beifong #anti lin beifong #<joke tag #avatar #legend of korra #tlok #the legend of korra #avatar the legend of korra #atlok #lok

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rozeliyawashereyall · 2 months ago

Text

Guys I'm back (not really)!!! I missed you all so much and- oh wow I missed too much, huh.

I'll start with saying that I'm doing okay now! My mental health has improved a lot and I'm very proud of myself :) however! I'm still on break, I just came here to address a few things.

Now to what's happening in the bug army—and lemme just say jeez. I did not expect to come back to drama, especially with how small this sub fandom is.

English isn't my best language so hopefully I'm not being rude saying these-

Most of my information came from @audioroleplayconfessions and a few friends of mine

-Now~ about the discord server. A lot has happened and I won't be getting into too much detail about it. One or two of our members weren't in the best place and sought out help from me and a few others, they're both okay now and are getting proper help ^^

None of us are exactly okay in the head in the army, I don't mean "insane" I mean "just need a safe environment to vent". And that's exactly why the discord was made! But unfortunately it went past an after school comfort club and more of a therapy session.

Thankfully! Me and the mods are being especially stricter on the rules and are actively enforcing them better!

This is still our first time making a server so of course we aren't the best at it, but we're all trying! I do hope that anon can feel safe there again.

that's all I'll say about it, so let's close this topic already.

-The favoritism! Now sure what to say on this one tbh, just that no one owes you anything! If you're so insecure that you have to seek validation from strangers online—and having panic attacks that you aren't being noticed, maybe the problem is with you. Most of our amazing artists that get slightly more recognition is because they're one of the first batch of bugs to appear in this fandom!

It honestly just feels like you're putting the creators on a special pedestal, above everyone—while they're all very talented and incredible people, they're still human. Just like you, just like me. They try to interact with everyone they can and it's clear every person helping with the gator boys series is trying their damn best.

I genuinely do hope you're doing okay now though :(

I'm always here to help and support you if you need it! But now, it's best if you take some time off to focus on yourself! Take a mental health break, it'll do wonders to you, I would know! I'm taking one now ^^

-that one anon ask that was very clearly about me but they didn't say it.

I'm not too fussed up about it, just a little sad I made someone feel that way

I'm not sure what I did that gave you the impression of "annoying" and "pretentious" of me, but I'm really sorry that I did anyways. I do hope you'll still consider joining our little army, and so we too can be friends! I'm sure you're a great person!

Do know I'll always greet you and new members with open arms! <3

Oh and thank you so much to the people in the reblogs that defended me—giving you all the biggest digital hug ever

-and lastly~ I really, really hope none of us gave you a bad impression of us or the VAs! Everyone here is a wonderful person! From talented to kind to fun! Gator boys is an awesome series and we all just wanted to create a small group to fangirl and boy about it X3 I'll admit things have gotten a bit too far, but me and the founders are trying our best to keep everything under control.

Now, I'm not too good with words—but, I'm very sorry about everything that happened these few days, but I promise everything will be okay from now on! We'll all make sure of it!

Gonna be putting this post in my pinned for a week just in case-

#gator boys #the bug army #bug army #gatorboys fandom #genuinely so sorry this all happened #and sorry if this made you not want to join us or watch the series-#which you dont have to of course #just sorry if we gave you a terrible impression of us #everything will get better i promise!#I'll make sure of it.

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rems-writing · 5 months ago

Text

Oh ok. He's actually kinda hot

Pairing: dilf!Yunho x babysitter amab!reader

Summary: I decided to do something different. Most babysitter fics always have the babysitter as a female rather than a male. So lemme try my hand at this shit lol

Warning(s): Slight mentions of coercion, mentions of drinking, Yunho being an awesome and unbelievably fucking hot dad, slight hand kink but it's not really a kink persay

Genre: cracked beginning, angsty middle, fluffy ending, spicy moments all around

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

Thank you to @bunnliix and @holybibly for helping me out with the partial synopsis set up of this fic. 🤍❤️💗🩷

"MINGI, SO HELP ME GOD! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN NOW!"

All you received was boisterous laughter on your end and a smack to your butt. You tried to punch whoever smacked your booty, but since you were hoisted over one of Mingi's broad shoulders, you didn't get a good look at who smacked your butt. However, you had a solid idea.

As you approach a big mansion, Mingi finally set you down and you proceeded to try and beat the ass of the person that smacked your butt.

Jung Wooyoung, your best friend.

"Oh come on now, y/n! Don't be such a sourpuss!"

"Especially since you have to babysit my best friend's daughters soon."

"I have to WHAT?!"

Wooyoung broke out in his iconic high-pitched laugh while Mingi was wheezing. You, on the other hand, were fuming.

"I did not sign up for this fuck ass babysitting job! Let me go now before -"

Mingi cut you off by ringing the doorbell multiple times. Then, he took Wooyoung's hand and sprinted away as fast as he could.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'MMA MESS UP YOUR DAMN ROOM AND COVER IT WITH FAKE SPIDERS WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM WORK!"

Even though they were far away to hear your threat, a new presence behind you chuckled smoothly and you froze momentarily before turning around and looking up slowly.

Oh.

So this is Mingi's best friend.

You gulped at the taller man before you and gave him a good once over.

He was wearing a regular suit and tie and his dark brown hair was swept back. He wasn't as broad as Mingi but he was still a bit lean with some muscle here and there. His warm brown eyes stared down at you in curiosity as he stuck a hand out for you to shake.

Said hand was big and veiny and his fingers were so nice to look at. You wondered what they would feel like wrapped around your throat -

'STOP IT, Y/N! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! HE'S PROBABLY MARRIED!'

"But there's no ring though...'

'It doesn't matter! He probably doesn't even like guys that way so just stop!'

You snapped out of your daze for a moment and shook the older man's hand.

"Uh... hi. I'm Hong Y/N. I'm Mingi's cousin. And I guess I'm your new babysitter. Sorry if I'm super awkward right now. I didn't expect myself to land a babysitting job, but I'm more than willing to accept it since I do technically need a job and -"

The older man shushed you gently to stop your rambling and smiled kindly before allowing you to enter his beautiful home.

"By the way, my name is Jeong Yunho."

His deep voice rumbled throughout the emptiness of the house and it sent a pleasant shiver down your spine.

EVEN HIS NAME SOUNDED SEXY!

You turned around and smiled sheepishly before you saw him gesturing to a table. You assumed he wanted to interview you before he considered you for the job. You sat down at the table and he sat across from you before pulling out something from his briefcase.

When did you submit a resume?!

"Let's see here... 23 years old, graduated with a bachelor's degree in computer science. Currently unemployed as of the moment. Last job was at a tech company. You were let go due to... huh. Incompetence and refusal to take orders?"

Yunho was confused at that last part as he continued to speak and assess you.

"Based on your skills, it seemed you had a good understanding of the job environment and you were able to make a lot of money off this job. There must be some reason as to why you were let go."

You sighed and clutched the cardigan that you were wearing close to you. It was useless since it was loose and a part of it fell off your shoulder, causing some skin to be revealed. Yunho spotted this and he gulped nervously as sinful thoughts entered his mind.

'God he's so perfect. So pure and free of anyone that would dare corrupt him. Maybe I can be the one to make him my dirty angel...'

'No, stop it, Yunho! He's young! He would never settle for an old man such as yourself...'

He swallowed down the thoughts as he listened to you speak tentatively on why you were let go.

"Long story short, apparently my old boss had a crush on me back in the day and she asked me out. I politely declined her and told her I'm gay. She was confused but then she tried to 'persuade' me into giving her one chance to which I blatantly said no. She got angry and tried one more time, yet I shut her down with ease. In the end, she grew petty and fired me."

Yunho grew angry upon hearing the real reason for you being fired but he remained calm since you appeared to be unbothered by it.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Y/N. I'm glad to hear that you stood up for yourself but saddened to hear that it cost you your job."

"It's ok, sir. Karma backed me up since then. I read this morning that my old company's stocks have crashed and my boss got fired since someone reported her."

Yunho heard the happiness in your voice and his heart swelled with adoration for you. He stood up and stuck out his hand once more.

"You got the job, Y/N. Let me give the breakdown on how to take care of my three bundles of joy."

---------------------------------------------------

This babysitting job was easier than you would've expected. And it paid even more than your last job.

Yumi was the eldest of the three. She was six years old and a social butterfly just like her dad. And she was surprisingly mature for such a young age as well. You treated her more like an adult rather than a child and she was ok with that.

Yunju was the middle child of the three. She was three years old and a bit more on the shyer side, yet she warmed up to you right away. Your heart swelled up in adoration when the two sisters playfully fought out who got to play with you next.

Chanmi was the youngest of the three and was actually adopted. The little baby was abandoned by her parents and your heart broke a little when Yunho told you the story of how she came about. You were glad that Yunho adopted her and you were even more glad that you were taking care of her.

Yumi was busy putting Chanmi down for her nap so Yunju took the opportunity to get to know you better since Yumi already got to talk to you as soon as her dad left.

"So Yumi told me you were gay... what does that mean?"

You let out a slight laugh and grinned at the way Yunju tilted her head in curiosity.

"So you know how guys like girls in a romantic sense? Well, it's the same thing but instead of me liking girls, I like guys instead."

"Oh! So whenever you see a cute boy pass by, you get butterflies in your tummy?!"

"Something like that yes."

Yunho definitely gave you a lot more than just butterflies when you laid eyes upon him.

Yunju's eyes widened even more and she started bouncing up and down on the couch.

"So does that mean that you get butterflies whenever you're around daddy?!"

You almost spit out the tea that you were drinking but you composed yourself. You had no idea what to say to that. Luckily, you didn't have to since Yumi came around the corner and sat in between you two.

"Come on, Yunju! It's time to take a nap."

"But I want to hear more about Mr. Hong's fe-"

"And you will! Later though. You know you get cranky when you don't take a nap. Come on now."

Yunju pouted before sighing dramatically in defeat and climbing off the couch before sprinting to her room. Yumi sighed and looked at you.

"Sorry about her. She's just excited to finally have a babysitter that accepts all of us." She smiled sadly while you grew confused.

"Wait... what do you mean?" Your voice grew soft with concern as Yumi sighed.

"Before you came along, Mommy and Daddy were in love. But as soon as Daddy became the CEO of his company, that love started to disappear. They started fighting and I had to cover Yunju's ears since she's sensitive to loud noises so I had to be the one to endure the shouting and constant arguing. One day, Daddy came home and... and..."

She sniffled as she tried to get the words out while you remained patient and even gave her a tissue to use so she could wipe away her tears. Your heart was breaking every minute she spoke of how her family came to be.

"Daddy found Mommy with weird papers in her hand and all her bags at her side. Daddy was heartbroken when Mommy said something about divorce and how he never has time for her or something like that. After Daddy signed the papers, Mommy took them and left us. She... she didn't even say goodbye!"

Yumi was full on crying and you fought hard to keep your anger to yourself so you could focus on comforting the six-year-old. Despite the maturity that she displayed, she was still a young child at the end of the day that yearned for a complete family. Through her choked sobs, she kept speaking.

"From there, a lot of babysitters came and went. They were fine with Yunju and I at first, but when Chanmi came into the picture, that's where it went downhill again. They couldn't handle the screaming and crying of little baby Chanmi apparently which is stupid! Chanmi is just a baby!"

She huffed and crossed her arms to which you found adorable, but then you remembered one of Yunho's rules and you spoke softly to Yumi.

"I understand how you feel, but your dad doesn't want you saying words like that. Yunju might catch on and maybe Chanmi as well." You lectured her lightly and almost laughed when you saw the embarrassment on her face.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, Mr. Hong! I couldn't help it!" She whined and you chuckled softly before patting her head affectionately.

"It's ok. As long as you don't do it again, I'll let it slide. And I won't tell your dad."

Yumi nodded and a smile broke out on your face as she kept speaking.

"As I was saying, most babysitters never fully accepted the three of us. Until you came along. I know it's early, but I want you to stay for as long as you can. I like you, Yunju likes you, and Chanmi likes you. She hasn't cried the entire time you were here!"

Yumi hugged you tightly and you hugged her back. Yumi let out a small yawn and you chuckled to yourself.

"Why don't you take a nap this time? I'll keep an eye out for your younger siblings?"

Yumi nodded and placed her head in your lap before snoring lightly. You shrugged off your cardigan and draped it over her before staring off into space.

---------------------------------------------------

"Hey."

You groaned as you heard someone whisper in your ear. You shrugged it off, thinking you were imagining it. The voice came again.

"Hey, Y/N. Come on. It's time to wake up."

You groaned once more and kept sleeping.

"If you don't wake up, I'll kiss you awake. Come on now."

That shot you awake. As you sat upright, you looked around frantically for any sign of Yumi and her siblings, only to hear familiar shouting come from one of the rooms. You looked up and you were almost nose to nose with their sexy father.

"Uh... hi, sir."

Yunho suppressed the thoughts and smiled once more.

"You can just call me Yunho. And hey to you too. Had a nice nap?"

You blushed out of embarrassment as you put your cardigan back on.

"I'm sorry, Yunho. I didn't realize that I dozed off. It won't happen again."

Yunho let out a quiet laugh and shook his head.

"No worries. They can be a handful at times. Mingi is occupying them so you and I could talk."

You grew nervous as he said that. And it didn't help that his outfit changed yet he still looked good. He wore a brown sweater, gray sweatpants, and glasses. His dark brown hair was free from the confines of the hair gel that kept it up and it looked damp as well, indicating that he probably showered. His cologne was subtle yet it still smelled good. As he sat down next to you, he looked at you for a little bit with an unfamiliar expression in his eyes.

"Yumi and Yunju wouldn't stop talking about you. And it seems Chanmi has taking a liking to you as well with the way that she didn't cry once when you held her. I think I found the perfect match. But only if you want to stay. I would love for you to be a part of their lives, but if this is only temporary, then that's ok as well."

Despite the smile on his face, his eyes read a different story. You sighed quietly and looked into his eyes. You loved babysitting his kids. There was no way you could leave them after hearing their backstory. Without knowing it, you grabbed Yunho's hand and smiled.

"I want this to be permanent. I would like to keep this job."

Yunho's smile brightened and he brought into a hug. He was warm and you relished in it for a bit before pulling away.

"Welcome to the family, Y/N."

---------------------------------------------------

That was over a year ago. Ever since then, you've been a part of the Jeong family for as long as you can remember. Yumi, Yunju, and Chanmi were more than happy to hear that you were to be a permanent part of the family.

So you could imagine the looks on their faces when they had to be sent away one Friday night to have a sleepover with Mingi, his own kid, and a new boo he's been seeing apparently.

Chanmi was asleep in Mingi's arms, Yunju fought a little bit before giving up, and poor Yumi bit Mingi's hand before running back into the arms of her father and you. Yumi looked up at you with big shiny eyes. Out of all the Jeong daughters, she was the closest to you. You cooed softly at the sight and bent down to kiss her forehead.

"It'll be ok, Yumi. It's only for one night. Tomorrow, the five of us can spend the day together as a family. Ok?"

Yumi nodded sadly before holding out her pinky.

"Pinky promise?"

You interlocked your pinky with hers and smiled down at her.

"Pinky promise."

Yumi giggled shyly before running over to her uncle Mingi. As soon as the four of them left, Yunho shut the door behind him and stalked over to you. A lazy smirk was on his face as he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.

"Come now. Let's have dinner. We're finally alone."

---------------------------------------------------

A few minutes and several glasses of soju later, the two of you were seated on the couch, laughing at old memories that you two shared of each other. From Yunho meeting up with Mingi everyday to eat lunch together to your first encounter with Wooyoung, the night was filled with laughter and joy. A comfortable silence formed between the two of you yet you didn't mind. As you finished your ninth soju bottle, you saw that Yunho had closed his eyes for a bit as a way to probably sober up a bit. He was breathing in and out slowly, his glasses were perched on the top of his nose, and the tips of his ears were still red but it wasn't as bad as before. Your eyes then dragged over his form and you couldn't help but feel flustered just from looking at him.

He wore a light blue dress shirt with the top buttons loosened and black jeans that fit his slim legs well. His chest rose up and down slowly while his hands were on either side of him. Light snores escaped from him and you found that slightly cute. Fueled by the soju in your body, you leaned in to give him a small kiss on the cheek.

Imagine your surprise when you felt his lips on yours.

You pulled away but not entirely since you felt his hands on your waist and your body pulled flush against his own. His eyes opened slightly and a smirk was on his face.

"Hey."

"Um... hi."

Your soft voice caused Yunho to chuckle and bring into a hug, his face being buried in the crook of your neck. Your blush worsened due to the close proximity between the two of you. He then pulled away and stared deeply into your eyes.

"May I confess something to you?" He asked quietly and you nodded.

"I think I've fallen for you. No wait. I have fallen for you. I fell for you when you first walked into my home. And those feelings developed into something more when I came home and saw my eldest laying comfortably against you."

Your heart rate increased as he kept talking but you found his hands slowly slipping away from you. You were about to protest lightly from the lack of warmth he provided when you saw him put his face in his hands.

"Sadly, I can't have you. You deserve more than just an old man like me. You deserve to be with someone who will come home to you and will give you their undivided attention."

When you heard the first sniffle, you immediately wrapped your arms around him. Yunho held you back as he continued.

"I tried so hard every day to make sure I came home on time for dinner, tuck the kids in bed, and kiss my wife goodnight before going to sleep beside her so she can wake up to me in the morning. However, it just wasn't enough for her. Hence, the fighting and whatnot. I'm sure Yumi told you everything."

"Yeah. She did."

"The next thing I know, she's divorcing me. Talking about how she doesn't want to be held back by someone who prioritizes work over family when that was never the case!"

Yunho was full on sobbing now and all you could do was shush him and tell him that everything is ok. He kept speaking.

"From there, I hired so many people to babysit my daughters but they never seemed to stick around for long." He raised his head to look at you.

"Until you came along."

He smiled weakly as he continued to speak.

"You've been understanding of my situation and never once complained about my kids or the weird schedule and so on. You've been so kind, patient, and loving. That's why... I confess my love to you. Aside from you doing an excellent job at babysitting, you're witty, intelligent, and so carefree of everything. Which leads me to ask you this."

He held your hands in his.

"Why do you stick around for an old man like me? You could've been out there, finding new job opportunities and dating people your age. Yet here you are, in the arms of someone like me. Why is that?"

You sighed shakily as you pondered your answer. You decided to tell the truth.

"While I love working with computers, sometimes, computer science takes a toll on the mind. Plus, sitting in front of a computer screen 24/7 for hours on end with countless stacks of paperwork becomes too boring. Being around your kids brought me life. Also, if I may, I've fallen for you as well. I figured you wouldn't want someone as young as me. But seeing as you've returned the feelings, I couldn't be happier."

Yunho's heartrate increased as you told him that you felt the same way. His eyes darted to your lips momentarily before looking at you once more. He was still a bit drunk, but he was sober enough to remember this.

"May I...?"

You nodded and felt your heartrate increase when he leaned in and kissed you on the lips for the second time.

His lips were soft and plush against your own and his hands held your waist with a gentle yet firm grip. As he held you close to him, you felt the love and passion he had for you in this kiss.

You were finally home.

#blossomnet #mirohsaurorasociety #ateez #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader

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dontexpectmuch · 4 months ago

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Hii! I know I said it before but I genuinely do love your work, I couldn't stop thinking about it and it even inspired me to write some docs about Rúben [they're hidden in my drafts for now hehe]!

I said that I ranted about your neighbour!Rúben fic to my friend, and that a couple ideas sprouted into my mind.

My favorite idea was probably a part 3 with Rúben starting to pine after you and you also thinking about him in a similar/same way! I just thought it would be cute to see how Rúben would think about you and care for you in the slightest of ways [like how he would bring you dinner when you get home late, or offer to give you a ride to the university]. The way you ended part 2, telling Rúben that you appreciate him, felt like you deepened their relationship and perhaps the growing intimacy that they have.. especially the part with the eye contact.. the tension had me squirming and giggling!!

Part 3 could also go in a way where he starts to notice things about you that he didn't notice before, and you do the same. Although he's been to your apartment more than a few times, he's never really noticed the tinier things like how you have an extensive candle collection [you can never stop yourself from stopping in the home aisle and smelling different candles], or, for you, the way he has a few poetry books in Portuguese that he likes to read from time to time [who knew Rúben was quite the romantic?].

Obviously these are just a few ideas that you can implement into part 3, if you do happen to write it. But honestly whatever you do write would be amazing because you just have some sort of talent, something I can't really put my finger on but I want to keep coming back to read your work.

There is just this something about the way you structure, write and describe things that really immerse readers, like myself. It's almost like youve written this in a way that this exact situation could happen in real-life, it feels so seamless and natural to read.

I hope you are taking care of yourself and making sure that you're eating well and saying hydrated, especially in this summer heat! Make sure that you keep yourself happy and have a lovely day or night, much love and kisses 🩷

i actually feel so,, honored and proud that you talked to your friend about something that i wrote. just feels… surreal. and it makes me feel so happy and appreciated! seems like i do have a few good writing skills!!

generally, i always try to make my fics as natural as possible. i don’t think that those super detailed and maladaptive things are something that one might enjoy to read. that is why i try to make things happen in a natural environment! and it seems like you noticed it, which makes it all more worth it!

to be honest, i did think about making rúben fall for reader first, at the same time i am also someone that tries to portray the characters as realistic as possible. therefore, i believe that rúben would be very subtle when falling in love with someone.

next chapter would probably be in readers point of view! and i think reader is somewhat oblivious, or not really looking for something like that since she never really had the time to have a relationship.

but i love your points with rúben being kind and helpful towards her, noticing new stuff and all that!!

i genuinely thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comments, i hope u have the best day and maybe soon i’ll start working on the next part!!

#ruben dias x you #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias #rúben dias

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becausesomething · 27 days ago

Text

I'm sorry sensei (ZoroxReader) - Part II

Part I

Sinopse:

Pre-time skip. Y/N is part of the crew of the Going Merry.

What was supposed to be a simple training session by herself ends up creating what she always feared, having Zoro upset and arguing with her. However, the relationship between sensei and pupil ends up speaking louder.

W.C.: 1.9 K

My heart was racing, my breathing was heavy, my body screamed to run away but my mind became increasingly clouded by having that penetrating gaze on me and the gentle but unyielding grip on my arm. He closes the distance between us, which makes me get nervous and take a step back trying to free myself from him.

-hum, what I want to say is tomorrow we'll go back to training - he lets me go and scratches his head - thanks for the sake - and a small smile forms in the corner of his mouth, it's something new.

Completely caught up by that change in behavior, I just make a small bow, leave the room as quickly as possible, run through the corridor, deck and up to the crow's nest, where I hoped to find some peace and put my thoughts in order, especially calm the anxiety that I was feeling at that moment.

I was shaking, I felt nervous but with a different fear. I sit on the floor with my legs resting on my knees and let out a scream as if that would give answers to the questions or doubts. Did I have feelings for him and it wasn't just affection and admiration? Could it be that the joy of being with him, of feeling him against my body when training, of getting rare smiles, of feeling protected, was what people called love?

Zoro POV

I watch the door close and his figure disappear, and with that I feel an overwhelming distance consume me. How could he have been so stupid to tell her how I felt like that. I pick up the bottle that was on the chair and drink until I need air.

-It's good, but it has a bitter taste. I'm sure she asked the idiot eyebrow and he did it on purpose by giving her something cheap.

I sit violently on the bed, with the bottle still in my hand and with the other hand I play with my hair in an attempt to stop thinking.

I'm an idiot! It's obvious that she doesn't feel the same way, I am just her sensei and a friend. But the way she didn't respond and kept looking at me, it's like she was processing it and maybe, maybe she would respond back. But I had to cut the mood and come up with a shitty answer and miss the moment.

I look at the katanas and the best thing would be to go train to stay focused other than on my thoughts. But with the bottle still in my hand and the smell of rose perfume in my room, the desire to go after her and get an answer grows. If I let this opportunity pass, the chance of a strange and uncomfortable environment being created is huge, and then we even end up fighting over something stupid and avoiding each other for a while is even bigger.

I drink some more from the bottle and let out a sigh filled with regret. I should have kissed her instead of letting her pull back and create space between us. Those small but full lips, always in a pink tone, that form such a precious smile for me. I saw it in her eyes, they also shone and penetrated mine, speaking for all the moments we've shared.

Or is it just my brain playing tricks and I'm letting myself be carried away by unnecessary emotions. Even though I know the serious face she makes when she is focused on training, the look that transforms into a fierce one when facing an enemy, or a loving one when she feels happy and smiling, or admiration when she listens and watches carefully what I explain to her. How her body shivers and stops for microseconds when she feels my touch when I help her with her training or just pay attention and prevent her from hurting herself by being so distracted. How she relaxes and melts against my shoulder after an intense workout, keeping me company when it's my night watch and she can't sleep, or simply fascinated by the wonders of the ocean looking at the horizon. Her personality could be explosive and clumsy, but she always had a response to fight back when nothing went in her favor, but her determination and tenderness captivated those around her. The softness in her words in contrast to her intensity and vigor.

Even before Luffy realized how she had played a double game as a bounty hunter to allow us to escape from the marines, and in the midst of the typical mess he had arranged and invited her to join the crew, I already wanted her to come with me. Not because of the same profession from the past, but because of how the graceful way she moved and the agility she showed with the spear. The sadistic smile when fighting against those who would stand in her way, in contrast to the softness of her concentrated gaze. I was captivated, and would never admit the happiness and relief I felt to her hysterical yes and almost leave Luffy breathless in a hug. I would be able to continue to enjoy her, have her company and get to know her like no one else had ever done before.

I put my hand on the t-shirt and I could still feel its fragrance weakened in the fabric - What do I do? I can't wait... I need to... No! I want to know her answer! - I finish drinking that poor quality bitter liquid and leave the room with the mission of not letting her escape any further.

Y/N POV

The sound of my thoughts were still louder than the music on my player. At least the horizon was a vision of contrasting blues that made me feel small but free. I wish I could put myself into a barrel and drift away in the ocean so I wouldn't have to face it again.

Knowing him, he wouldn't come looking for me, it would be as if nothing had happened. There would probably be a strange atmosphere but training would always come first, so eventually it would be water under the bridge. I just needed to control my reactions and forget the way he grabbed me, the words full of feelings that came out of that mouth where I lost sight more times than I liked to admit.

I move on to the next song and support myself with my head on my arms.

I just needed to ask Ussop to swap the night watch with me and come up with an excuse to have dinner later, that way I would have time to prepare for the next day, when I would have to face him and make even more of an effort not to get distracted.

-All of this was just a dream and we only had one more unnecessary fight when I went to apologize, that's it! Tomorrow I just have to put on my stubborn attitude and everything will go back to normal.

Someone tries to grab me by the arm, instinct kicks in and a punch aimed at the face is thrown. It was Zoro, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, because he was taken by surprise and the area of the punch was already turning red and would probably leave a mark. But the worst part was the irritated look on his face, which always made me apprehensive.

-Zo! It was unintentional. Sorry, I... you... scared me!

He brings his hand to his face and massages it, I still think about doing the same but something is stopping me, that look that keeps staring at me and I can't decipher it.

-Do you really want it to be just a dream or to become reality?

I look at him confused, could it be that my strength was that exaggerated and I caused more damage to his moony brain than a brief slap since it was Zoro.

-I called you when I went up but you didn't hear or notice me, only when I touched you - he lets out a sigh of displeasure - that's why I heard what you said about preferring to ignore our conversation earlier and still be sullen as if it were the most natural attitude to take...

-As if you have great morals to speak of! It's not just me who has a shitty personality and...

-Y/N! - he takes my arm again but this time so carefully that I felt his rough skin against mine - Stop running away, please. I'm trying to communicate instead of acting like an idiot who has no feelings. And I'm not leaving here without hearing an answer from you.

He looks at me and tries to close the distance but I break free and cross my arms.

-What answer? I don't remember you asking any questions... you just said how much you appreciated me and how important I was. We are companions, friends, you are my sensei, it is completely normal.

-Damn woman, I wanted the conversation to be natural but you can be a piece of work

It was difficult to maintain my posture, I felt a cold sweat running down my back, my hands were sweaty, my heart was beating strong and fast, I felt tingling throughout my body. I needed to hear him say it again, I needed him to show me once again the love he fells, because I wanted it to be reality but he was so cold that it made me doubt if it was reciprocated.

In the seconds that I gather the courage to meet his gaze, he approaches me and lifts my chin with his right hand. I felt the heat that his body emanated, the strength he exerted in holding me and forcing me to look at him, his heavy and anxious breathing.

-I want you to be my girlfriend

The body relaxes, the arms lose strength and fall, and taking advantage of this he wraps his free arm around my waist and his lips place a short but soft kisses on mine.

In a practically inaudible whisper I say my answer, which is muffled because now I'm the one searching for his lips and gently exploring them. My hands wrap around my neck, the hand that was on my waist shortens any distance between us and the other grabs my neck, as the kiss continues, each one taking their time and savouring the moment.

-This is real, isn't it?

He rests his forehead against mine and runs his fingers down my face before lifting it and smiling at me.

-I was the one who came looking for your answer, but are you the one asking for the answer you gave me? Only you. This is no longer just a dream...

In a subtle and careful gesture, he slides his hand and intertwines his fingers in my hair before returning to search for my lips. Rough but addictive, the tongue dances looking for the entrance to my mouth, exploring every corner and savouring now that I also tasted sake. He only stopped the kisses for a few moments, his warm breath against my skin, his restless but sure touch on my waist. The kisses were passionate but also carried a feeling of establishing that I was one of his needs.

Our gazes meet, each one overflowing with that happiness and desire that was finally free to be demonstrated and no longer contained. He was not a man of many words, but he made sure his actions paid off. The hands create a little distance, and in that light at the end of another day, he hugs me tenderly and a promise was made that he would never stop being by my side.

english is not my first language, even thought I use it more than my native tongue. I try my best to adapt it 🫣

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xoxo

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